Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #76 - Faroe Islands Dolphins, Woolly Mammoth Resurrection, & Ankle Biter Mosquitos

Episode Date: September 20, 2021

Forrest Galante and the gang are back in studio for this week's episode of the Wild Times podcast! We're talkin everything in the title PLUS a Battle Royale that even the kids will love! Speaking of love... Love you! Patreon @ https://patreon.com/wildtimespod Discord @ https://discord.com/invite/zzTxnrHnS8 All the links @ https://thewildtimespodcast.com

Wild Times. Oh. Woo! Back in studio, baby. We're here. We're doing it. This is the Wild Times. Episode number 76, the greatest show on the air.

Don't say episode numbers. We have no idea what episode this is. It could be 76. It could be 79. It could be a bonus episode. We're recording 100 today. Well, I'll tell you what he's doing. He's ruining the show already. We just started.

I'm excited. You know how angry I get when I have to actually be in a physical room with you, too? Okay. So, continue. Continuing on, I am your host, Forrest Galante, the broologist, the guy who doesn't ruin the show, the guy who makes it fun, tells you factual things like your episode number. Joining me, the lovely, the one and only, Patrick DeLuca. What's up, Poppy? A slight.

Yep, there's that weird camera thing he does. Okay, very good. And grumpy caveman over here on my right, the brofessor PhD in podcasting, Mr. Ritap. Yeah. What's going on? Why is so grumpy right? Not grumpy. I'll tell you why, though. Okay. Not grumpy, but here's why I'm hot. I'm sweaty from running around this studio trying to get everything set up again.

It's funny because Kyle did everything. Who's Kyle? Are you going to mention someone without even introing them? No, Kyle is here. Happy to be here. Thank you. Fuck off. Forrest, man. What's new? I haven't seen you. It's been a couple months since we saw each other in person. It's been very long. Way too long. Things are good. I just wrapped. up shooting on my Discovery Show. I had some free time, spent an extra two weeks in Brazil. We talked about that on air. Had fun there. Went out to Chicago. Oh, nice. Nice. I'm surprised you're not 10 to 20 pounds heavier now. I am. I'm wearing a very slimming t-shirt with a girdle underneath. That's why you're wearing black. Usually it's the face, though, when you come back from Chicago, because you're just swollen from all the alcohol. From the salt. It's a puffy place.

It's a puffy place. I don't know how else to put it. It's a real puffy place. You eat a lot of cheese, you drink a lot of bruise. I mean, I do that here, too. It's just out there, there's nobody to tell you no. It's true. Out here, it's like there's social pressure to not do it. No, in fact, it's the opposite there. They're a bunch of enablers.

They're like, oh, just have another slice. And you're like, I don't want more of your cheese meal. But no, things are good, man. I'm good. It's nice to be home. It's nice to be in studio. I know. Oh, yeah.

This is big. Yeah, this is big. Where were you last week? We were going to do this, and then. Next thing I knew you were on a boat and saying you're going to be out of service for a week. I had two buddies come in, both friends of the pod, Ricardo and Jordan. And they landed in Santa Barbara. I scooped him up and we jumped on the boat.

And we're like, let's go out for a day or two and see how we do and chase the tuna around. Oh, right. You, yeah, you had just done the test scout, the flight. Right. The very, very dangerous flight. Exactly. With your buddy. Oh, yeah.

How'd the fishing go? Good. I mean, we could have done better ourselves, but we still managed to put two really nice tune on the boat. And more than that, we just, like, you know, hung out offshore, weather was beautiful. We drank cases of White Claw. I'm not kidding. It's all we did.

I've never peed so much. I peed like 75 times in a day. Sure. I was just like, I'm peeing a lot. Yeah, the Claw will do that too. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, they run right through you. Any cuddling?

I know Pat's told a story where you guys have, like, cuddled up together. Why don't you mind your own business? I'm not, there's nothing wrong with it. I'm just curious. I'd like to know the details of the story. It's 2021. If I decide to cuddle with a couple male friends, that is socially acceptable. Absolutely.

I just want the brochures to know what's going on with you. That's it. And we're canceled. No, it was good. I mean, yes, the quarters are pretty tight on the boat, but we made it work. So what kind of tune over those? Was Yellowtail or Bluefin? Bluefin.

Okay. So Bluefin, actually, cool stuff going on with Bluefin. So one is they just changed the classification. So we've thought that bluefin, specifically the bluefin on the east coast, Atlantic Blufin, have been hammered, right? Like they're running out. There's no more left. They're down to 3% of their population. And the eastern Pacific Blufin, the fish we get here every year, they're like, oh, their numbers are bad, but not nearly as bad as the Atlantic.

Well, a bunch of scientists just came together and just about six weeks ago released a thing going, hey, not only are the bluefin doing better, they're no longer listed as endangered. In fact, we're moving them all the way up to vulnerable, meaning like they've, they've, jumped a couple statuses. So anyway, you know, I thought that was good. We never take more than one a person or anything like that. We never really have targeted them before, but what do they, why do they think that is? It's just the reason for them. Yeah, what's the rebound about? Wow. People, so they have this thing called the Eastern Pacific Bluffin Treaty. Right. I remember we talking about this before. Yeah, it's all these countries together. It's very corrupt and totally mismanaged. Yeah. Regardless, there's enough people that have come together and said,

hey, it turns out the fish stocks are actually doing better. So it's pretty cool. So it's working. Even though humans have such a difficult time cooperating and it's fucking a struggle and terrible for everyone involved, at the end of the day, something happened. And I'll tell you something. I'll tell you something, right?

People say this to me and it fucking pisses me off, right? Like, especially in the diving, fishing world when they're like, oh, man, you know, no bullshit abalone are endangered. There's tons of abalone. I see them all the time, right? Well, I'm out there. We're 70 plus miles offshore.

and jumping in on these foamers, which are where all the tuna are, like, feeding on the surface, and there's 10,000 tuna swimming around you. The last thing you ever think is, like, this species is in peril. Right. And it's really hard, like, people do that, and it's irritating when I hear it. But it's so hard to, like, look at this massive swarm of something

and go, these things are running out. Right. Because it's just, like, it's overwhelming how many you see sometimes. Yeah. What's the deal with abalone? Is it completely illegal to eat? No. So California, New Zealand, and Japan are the three places that have the mollusk abalone.

Okay. Okay. Different species. Long story made short. California had the biggest and the best, the red abalone. Yeah. Okay. And about, about, and I used to go hunt them every year.

I'd go up there, I'd dive. Yeah, I'm eating them at your house. Yeah, it's great, right? It's super fun. And, you know, it's a snail. Like, it's not very exciting. You swim around, pick a snail up off the rock. But they're delicious and they're big and anything.

Anyway, a bunch of stuff. happened, including urchin spikes, kelp forest dying, which abalone eat, a thing called withering foot syndrome, where their foot that actually sticks onto the rock shriveled up and they couldn't hold on during the big seas. And their numbers totally crashed. So to answer your question, you can still eat abalone, but it's all farmed abalone, and the price is exorbitant. And the wild abalone, like I used to harvest, is completely closed off. Have you had abalone, Peter? Yeah, I get it over at the Ralph's down on Vons in the deli case.

You don't? You mean... No, have you eaten an abalone? Have I eaten a bologna? Yeah, yeah, I have. I don't know if I want to do any more of these podcasts. He's trying to make a joke? Oh, listen, I'm going to get a laugh out of everybody but you two morons.

I never have, by the way. Forrest was all excited because he had an avaloni. He had a little barbecue at his place. Yep. And you're like, oh, like the abalone. the abalone. And I was kind of looking at it and I hadn't eaten any yet.

And he kept coming. He was like, did you get some of the abalone? I thought it was fucking disgusting. Really? Yeah. And I like, I eat a lot of sashimi.

See ya. Just me and you. It's like mucus. Ooh. Did we have it as sushi or did I fry it? Sushi. Dude, it's so good. Really?

You're crazy. So compare it to something I might have had. Like, is it comparable to like uni, which tastes like cat tongue? No. See, I love uni. How do you know what cat tongue?

I'm just saying. What I envision cat tongue? tasting like a cold dead cat tank. I'm not a big abalone guy. Have you ever had a calamari steak? Like not the little rings of fried calmarry, but like a big piece of white, meaty calumari? I can't say that I have.

It's the best seafood. It is the best food. Which is weird because he thinks it's the best, and I think avaloni is the better version of that. Interesting. I was at another Jewish event with my girlfriend yesterday. Apparently there's a series of music. Every year there's...

Rosh Hashan, I believe it was called. Sure. Yom Kippur, actually. They all wear white, they atone. I'm not quite sure. But anyways, they had this thing called white fish salad, right? You've had tuna salad, okay? I've had whitefish salad.

I mean, these salads are not really salads. They just take mayonnaise and mix them with different kinds of proteins. I think that's what makes it a salad. But it was like, it was this smoky fish and mayonnaise, and they loved it. And I love everything. I'm just, you know, like a fat fuck. Actually, that sounds good to me. Yeah.

Smoke fish is great. I think you got to be really, you got to grow up with it. It's very salty. It's super salty. I remember that. And then there's just this, you blow fucking fish smell out of your nose after you take a bite and you can't get rid of it. You're just breathing fish smell for like an hour. It's herring, too, if I'm not mistaken.

Is that a white fish? I don't know. I think it is herring. I think it's pickled herring and it's got a real pungent. It's super pungent. Yeah. So that's my experience with fine fishes. All right.

Because I think we should address it. One of the things about the Wild Times podcast is people like an escape, right? They like to get away from the grimness of the news. That's why we like it, too. But a lot of Brosters have sent this. My mom sent it. I know a lot of people sent it to you. It's been in the news.

We've talked about the Faroe Islands. We've both been there. 1,400 dolphins. Pilot whales, same animal. Yeah. Same animal we saw. So pilot whales are a dolphin. Copy that.

The largest dolphin. The article I read made me think it was not the pilot whales. 1400 is massive. Look, when we were there and I filmed the grinned, the grind, they killed 84, 86, something like that. Yeah. That was... Yeah, it was like 120 the year I was there. Right.

So when I saw 80-something, I was like, oh my God, this is so many life forms like being ended. And the sea literally turns red with blood. It's awful. It's gnarly. Awesome. And that was with 80. You said 1,400? 1,400, I think.

Yeah, 1,400. I literally cannot imagine it. By the way, the population of the Faroe Islands is like 30. So, I mean, it's not that small. It's also this fucking, you know how, you know, in L.A. or whatever, Halloween's big in West Hollywood. They have a big thing, a festival with floats. This is like their festival. They go out there with the kids.

Like, everybody's there. They're showing the fucking kids how to do. It's mayhem. 48,000 is the population of the Faroe Islands. Right. So that's, I mean, that's like a whale per two people. It's a whale for every... Yeah.

Well, then, you know... A whale for every, like, 30 people. That's still wild. Yeah. So how big are these pilot whales? They're the largest species of dolphin. I don't know. They're like 10, 12 feet long, right?

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. 12 feet long, the adults. They're big animal. I mean, it's not like you're picking one up. Right. Up to 20 feet long. There you go.

There you go. No, they're big. And it's just, it's absolutely barbaric. I mean, I think we've said this before, but this is a thing that has to end. You know, they do this under this thin veil of tradition. But there's nothing traditional about it. You know, it's, it traditional would be going out in a canoe, spending a bunch of hours, working your ass off, you know, splitting one whale up from the pod, killing that whale,

eating it feeding the village. Like, that's okay. That's sustainable. But this, I've seen it, you've seen it. They go in there, they've got these million-dollar yachts, they've got sonar, they've got every piece of technology available to man. They heard this entire family group, 1,400 in this case, into a bay, close off the bay and just go Henhouse syndrome and just start murdering everything.

It's crazy, man. It's not right. It's got to end. I mean, I've said it before, but my friend, I was going to work on whale wars back in the day, and he's like, we've got to watch this. thing, if you're going to work on whale wards, you've got to watch this documentary with me. And he puts on the cove. And I'm just, like, it literally mentally and emotionally fucking damaged me to the point where I was like,

it was like two, three weeks before I was back to normal emotionally watching that shit. I'm just like, it's crazy to think that they don't need to do it for food anymore. Yeah. As far, you know, as far as I've read and what I know. They're very affluent. One of the best sushi bars I've ever been to was in the Faroe Islands. They're fine. They don't need to be killing whales.

It's just such a weird thing to think that somebody can go and kill these intelligent animals as like a tradition when it's not necessary, man. Humans are fucked up, honestly. So it's a mess. Yeah, 1400 is crazy, though, because, yeah, like the scene from Extincter Alive where it was 80 was completely insane. It was one of the most insane things you could possibly imagine. So times that by 17? Yeah. It's crazy.

I don't even know how you can harvest all that meat. It would take weeks. Week. It's crazy, man. It's awful. And yeah, just the amount of blood that I saw in, like, suffering and, uh, crazy. So anyway, that's fun. You thought is that, I don't know, I do feel like the whole thing with the grind or the grinned sort of isn't, like, mainstream news.

Yeah. Like, truthfully, I hadn't heard of it before we did the spinoff's whale war. But this is really making its way around. I feel like it's, I don't know, maybe there could be some sort of external pressure because they're being villainized, the Faroese are. For sure. Yeah. I feel like it's so stunningly beautiful there

that like, it's got to hurt the tourism, I would think. You got to wonder why they don't just sort of let it die. I know they like whale. They've been eating it, you know, historically forever. But at what generation, you know, like we like slaves and racism? And then we're like, oh, this is fucked up. Let's not do this. You know what I mean?

Like at what point do you change traditions? Right. Does the next generation go, hey, this is fucked up. Let's not do this. You know what I mean? And so it's like, I don't understand, you know, the kids that are now eating whale in the Faroe Islands, right now as we sit here and discuss this,

because of 1,400 being killed last week, are only doing that because their parents have told them it's tradition. Right. They wouldn't seek to do it. Like, at what point do we just cut the tradition and go, hey, the world doesn't have enough animals to do this anymore. Let's eat the amazing other things that are already available here in Torchivan. Sure.

You got anything cheerier? Yes, many, many things. Chiri-oh. Many, many things. The news is great this week, but I thought maybe before we got into news, there's some fun Brosner DMs. What do you got? Always.

I got one right to me from Tragedy underscore Media. And I thought this was a pretty fun, like, intellectual conversation. I have a strong opinion on it. So he says, we know invasive species can be traumatic to ecosystems. But what if these species are just looked at as if they are helping with evolution? We know during all the other periods of Earth, there was land bridge formations going on. What if people are just the modern form of those bridges? With time, adaption, and evolution, the native species should even out the playing field as they did centuries before people.

This is just a question that comes up in my head during the shower from time to time. Shower thoughts. Yeah, shower thoughts from tragedy media. I'm not qualified to weigh in, so go ahead. No, but let's just think about it. He's saying, all right, throughout history, like, things have happened, right? Madagascar splits off from Africa, the land bridge forms across North America. New shit moves around, right?

A bunch of iguanas get on a floating mat of grass and end up in the Galapagos, and all of a sudden those iguanas are diving and, you know, things are changing. He's saying, what if human beings are the new modem for spreading and change and, basically species dispersal. Sure. So you get that. And I'll give my opinion, but I think it's interesting

to hear sort of a non-scientific thought on that. Yeah. Sure. I guess it's just different because one's natural and one's not, right? The land bridge idea

or what's it called rafting? Yeah, rafting. Those are sort of naturally occurring processes where we just speed it up and are doing it times a thousand. Yeah, I mean, I think there's a tendency anytime humans do something

that's unnatural or that's not going to naturally happen everybody kind of says like well that's not the way it should be but in this case like the Lambridge is

like Pat just said if it's just speeding it up but I mean then what are the consequences of speeding it up if you're you know if you're speeding it up and I'll tell you the fucking consequences

LA has an invasive mosquito species right now they're referred to as ankle biter mosquitoes okay they're a particularly aggressive mosquito. And they just attack the shit out of your ankles

because they hang out real low to the ground. That's annoying. They're ruining the city. Ruining the city. Everyone, this is fucking coming from a place of privilege, no doubt. Everyone who has a pool is like, I can't even use my fucking pool. And they came over, they believe they know where they came over two and a half years ago on a single shipping container.

Wow. And the entire city of L.A. is being decimated. I don't even care what it's doing to, I do care what it's doing to, like, the natural world, but like, it's just ruining everyone's summer. Right. And there's now two summers in a row that have been just trashed. Thanks to these ankle fucking bite or mosquitoes. So, okay.

Consequences. That's my raging. So you're both right. And I'm glad that you can sort of see that without, you know, needing to sit through a dry scientific symposium. Because that's the thing. It is the speed at which you do this. Because when a couple iguanas come over and slowly establish and so on and so forth, everything around it, the plants, the best, the best,

birds, the insects, the other animals, they have time to adapt to that. When you come in to the fucking Everglades and release, you know, a hurricane hits and you release 14 Burmese pythons into a habitat they're not supposed to be, nothing can adapt. So the alligator walks right up to the Burmese python. The raccoon goes and tickles its chin and gets chowd and so on and so forth. So my point is you get this effect where everything's sped up at such a rate that nothing can adapt. So you don't actually get more speciation. What happens when an animal comes over slowly through a land bridge, whatever, everything adapts and you get things to evolve and more speciation. In this case, you take these things, you throw them into the habitat, and they just wipe out everything else

around them and you have like an Easter Island effect. So, yeah, that's my answer. What happened in Easter Island? Yeah, yeah. What happened there? Do you not know? No, I swear to God. The people went extinct. Yeah, I mean, I know it's the place with the big stones and ship, but what happened there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's a good question. I didn't know if you were setting up for a joke. Sorry, I don't need to be negative. Well, his first couple jokes were so fucking terrible. That was really hard to say.

I was like, that might be a joke. I don't know. Guaranteed several laughs from the people watching the podcast. Okay. Eastern Island is an island in the middle of the Pacific, way off the coast of Chile. Okay. Yeah.

So a bunch of, I think, Chileans, or whatever they were at that point in time, got in canoes and landed on this Eden-like island. Easter Island. Yeah. It's a middle of fucking nowhere, though, right? It's really way. the hell out there. Tons of fish, tons of trees, tons of birds, everything you could ever want to

eat. Well, as they lived on Easter Island, the people population grew, and they started cutting down the trees to make canoes. The fish started to get over fish, so they had to go further and further out to catch fish. And basically, one day they cut down the last tree to make another canoe, and there were no more trees. There was no more wood to burn. There was too many people, and they couldn't escape because they'd somehow landed here and formed this large civilization, but they couldn't get back across the ocean. So they, either term Easter Islanding themselves, their population collapsed. The whole, they wiped out every bird, every fish, every tree, and now there's a barren island with a couple giant stone heads and nobody, everybody died. Yeah. Well, one of the other,

one of the other thoughts is that, you know, the moai, the giant, the heads, right, the statues that they built. Oh, oh, yeah. They're called moai. Yeah. Okay, cool. They, you know, one of the questions is how do they move them? Right. These things are massive. Yeah. Tons and tons and tons and tons. So one of the theories is that they use trees as rollers to roll them. And so they were cutting down their trees really fast too.

Right. Not only just to make canoes, but to roll these heads that they were obsessed with. Right. And so then eventually there are no trees left on the island. Yeah. No trees, no shade, no water, no food, everything in the whole population. It's the Easter Island, and they talk about this in so many different symposium stuff. It's a case study for what we're doing to Earth, basically.

Sure. It's like, let's just take and take and take and take. Oh, nothing left. We all die. I mean, you take all the trees from an environment where you're using the tree, like you have to use the trees daily. I mean, not for shade, for everything. I mean, fire, heat.

How could it, like, what's going through your head? Do you know how big the civilization was? No, I don't. So it's like, you don't notice that this is happening? Plant some more fucking trees. They didn't have the internet. Yeah, so they couldn't look it up on YouTube. Nobody could queen about it.

There's only, there's one tree left. It's over there, like, on the other side of the island. Let's go down down. When you look at, like, from an archaeological standpoint, pretty much anything that you're trying to accept, right? Why did they do this? Why did someone build Gobeckley-Tepi? What were these people like when you excavate something?

It pretty much always comes down to anything that's really old before we just could go to a grocery store. It's calories in versus calories out. Yep, sure. So think about the amount of calories out that were required to basically quarry all of these rocks, oh yeah. Build these amazing statues

and there are thousands of them on the island. Oh, yeah. And then move them all around. There's a ton of calories out. Yeah. Right? So they had to be ingesting a ton of food too. Yeah.

So you're quickly going to eat every seabird, everything that's on the island, all the fish. Absolutely. Yeah. You're right. It is like a microcosm of what's happening now. But I can't.

I mean, look, yes, this was a big group of people. They went extinct. But is that truly worse than me not being able to go out to my pool without getting by mosquitoes? No, no. I think the ankle-biter situation. Trump's the Easter Island list.

All right. I saw Chris Darnel. Oh, nice. Yeah, I saw him this week. He's good. So he was a DP that we, he did two, he did Zanzibar with us. He was there for that, which was obviously a very memorable extinct. Very.

Madagascar. The first Madagascar. Yeah. I love Chris. He's one of my favorites people. He's so funny without knowing that he's funny. He's a really interesting guy. But so he, he's been, I don't know if he's going to be happy that I'm saying this,

He's been microdosing psilocybin. Great. Really small amounts. A tiny amount. That's a big thing at the moment. But he's like, man, he's like, it is a huge change. Clarity, focus. His mood, everything.

He's really into this. Yeah. So I traded him some of those moreals you gave me. Oh, there you go. He's going to, he made these himself too. Okay. He got some mushrooms. For some shrooms, you're getting some magic mushrooms?

He's giving me 0.1 milligram. It's not enough to do anything. Yeah, he's like you won't feel it at all, but. I wish you would have had it for, uh, he hasn't brought him over it. But here's a theory that he brought up. I thought you guys would find interesting, right? Yeah. So he's real big into like the power of mushrooms and fungus.

Oh, yeah. You know, the micorazole networks where the root systems communicate and all that stuff. And he believes in like the power of this fungus. Yep. And so he's got this theory now that he's developed that he's like, you know, like if you're alone and you walk through the forest and sometimes it feels like you're being watched or something's looking at you? Yeah. He's like, I think it's our consciousness connecting to the mushrooms. Wow.

That's definitely my produce. This is why I like Chris now. He's always out there. You've got these networks of tree roots that are communicating and helping each other out and doing all this cool shit. And he's like, so there's, there is a consciousness there under the ground. For sure. I think what you're feeling is your consciousness, like, connecting with that.

You just can't grab it. I love it. It's a good hypothesis. I love it. There's nothing. we can do to prove it. Do you know what I mean? Science does not exist yet. Not yet. Disprove it. We can't disprove it. We're not Avatar. We can't like plug in

you know through the ponytail. Okay. Once you can though. You have a degree in biology. Is this true? Yes or no? No. It's not true but it's fucking rad. Once we figure out quantum mechanics, man. No, it's fucking cool. And like I do have a degree in biology and I'm not, you know, super ethereal

but I do think, isn't that what they all do? Constantly. Yeah. The old Tarnell does it daily now. But I think there's more to it than we understand. And I think the more time that people spend in cities disconnected from it, the more shut off they get to sort of feeling that piece of connection, whatever it is, whether you're connected to the mycelium and the mushroom spores, or whether you're just

feeling connected to nature because it's in your DNA to be in nature. Right. Kyle, what do you think? He's, yep, he agrees with Chris. Yep. Kyle says we are conscious with the mushrooms. Yep. And he's high on mushrooms right now. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I took, Rogan promotes a product through his brand on it. Oh, yeah.

Called Shroom Tech. Did I ever... Did I ever... I gave you the Shroom Tech. Oh, you gave me the Shroom Tech. Shit fucking works, man. Dude. Yeah.

Yeah. New sponsor. Not a sponsor at all, but like... Wish they were. Yeah, they marketed to do. Pre-workout. Okay, so what does it do? What does it feel like?

Uh, I wouldn't say you noticeably feel something. What I would say is that when I had that bottle, I was working out with a truck. trainer like couple times a week. I was just noticing a very specific correlation between when I took the Shroom Tech and when I would have like monstrous workouts. Correct.

Versus like lazy workouts. Like I move some weights around. Exactly how I found. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. So when I, I think the first time I went on Joe Rogan, he's like, dude, you got to try this stuff.

And he gave me a bottle of Shroom Tech. And I think he gave me two bottles. I gave one to Patrick. I gave half to Patrick. I don't remember. But I was like, I don't know, man. I'm kind of skeptical to try this. And I remember you were like, yeah, Rogan talks about it, I don't know.

And then we both tried it and had the exact same experience where, like, I've taken the C4 and your skin feels like it's crawling. And you're like, I just want to lift something. This doesn't do that. You just take it and you're like, I don't feel anything. And then you do an hour and a half workout where you put up like your max of everything you've ever lifted. It's corticeps, I think, is one of the main audience. Is that the one that makes your dick explode when you're like mid lift as hard as you can? No, that I think.

think is something you get at 7-Eleven called like rhino pussy. But yeah, the cordyceps, I used to work with this girl who drank corticep tea. Okay. And she was like, dude, this is better than coffee. They're the little mushrooms that grow only like out of dead caterpillars, right? That sounds right. Yeah, they're fucking weird, man. They're like these little mushrooms.

I think they only grow in like a couple specific regions, I think in Asia, maybe in China. They must be priced. But they grow out of the backs of dead caterpillars. Wow. And apparently they're fucking have superpowers. We should start a Corseps farm. I got plenty of catapotuses. Have you ever taken mushrooms, Peter?

Yeah, of course. Like magic mushrooms? Yeah, many times. Did you have an experience that you would say was like life altering, mind blowing? Yeah, I've had terrible experience on them and I've had many, many good ones. One time I cleaned the house. Nobody was home. No, no, I'd be...

Awesome. No, before I took the shrooms, because you can't be in a dirty, a dirty house or like a dirty place, or you'll feel terrible. But anyways, I made a conscious decision that I was going to take the mushrooms in an effort to meditate or whatever, like, try and have some kind of transcendent experience with that. I succeeded. I... Explain. I popped on this weird-ass fucking thing. It was like some musical, trippy soundcape.

So it was like three hours of... this music that was just like when you were on when I was on the shrooms listening to it I was traversing the universe it was like a story it was being painted in my my eyes were closed the whole time and I swear to God I was like out in the universe going around like I think I went to a buddy's house I don't remember what happened I was like floating around and uh and then you know I I just remember I open and you know when you're on shrooms you it feels four hours feels like four days. I mean, time is like very strange. So I literally had my eyes closed doing this thing for... Yeah, traversing the universe. Yeah. Three, four hours just did not open my eyes. I remember

when I finally opened them and I was like back in reality, I'm just like, holy shit. Like I had, like it was like I was in a dream. And then I was like, oh yeah, like I'm in a fucking room. I've been sitting here, the dogs sitting here, like the lights on over there. It was so foreign and alien. Like, everything to come back to reality. Have you ever tried that for us? Took a lot. Never. Nope.

I would never do it now, not that much. Because it's too scary. Yeah. I have buddies that do the microdosing thing. Sure. Like, I have one buddy. He's a scientist at the EPA. Like, he's a very serious person.

He just got fired. But yeah, anyway. I'm not saying his name on air. People are Googling. Yeah. But he, no, he's done the microdosing thing. And he's so funny because he's such a nerd. He has like a journal.

And he, like, started by doing. really, really little amounts and went up and up and up over months and then was like, whoa, now I'm tripping out at work. And then went back down. And like he found, you know, he's got all these charts and he's like, this is the sweet spot. And if I take this much every day, one at breakfast, one at dinner, whatever, I'm making all the stuff. Sure, sure.

You know, I function at 83% higher capacity. And I'm like, wow. I made up all those numbers and stats. But my point is just he's totally like dialed it in by doing it for a long time. And he's like, this is the exact right amount. And he's like, I won't do it all the time because I think it'll lose its effect. But it's like if I know I've got something big coming up, I'll do it for a month and I'll be running at a higher capacity. Yeah, I'm pretty interested in trying it.

I mean, I guess the reason I asked if you'd ever tripped on Shrooms was just to illustrate that clearly there's something very powerful going on there. We all take a daily vitamin and it's just accepted that having all the right levels of vitamins helps you function more highly. Right, right. You know, it's pretty intriguing the power of the fungus. I shouldn't say I've never done it. I have a story. Okay. What do you got?

When I was 20-ish, 21, I packed up a backpack and I traveled all around the world in one long trip. Okay. And when we got to, and I'm not a drugs guy, I'm not into drugs, just never really been into drugs. Right. It's just not my thing. High on life, bro. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And anyway, get to Vyang, Vien Laos, which is like, you know.

Yeah, I didn't go to Vienn, but I know it's like a big party town. big party town mostly like crazy australians and uh you know i'm kind of like well went in rome you know first time and uh and so we you like float down this river and there's all these like real like janky wooden structure bars along the river and each one has worse music than the next one and you know they serve like grilled cheese and like family guys on on like a grainy screen in the background it's great sounds great yeah and anyway we pull up to like the third or fourth one and I'm getting drinks like I have everywhere else and everybody's doing drugs. And, you know, this little Vietnamese guy runs up to me and he's like, you want milkshake,

you want milkshake? And I'm like, you know what? Fuck it. Yeah, I want milkshake. And he's like, he's like, you like mushroom milkshake, weed milkshake, opium milkshake. And I'm like, chef's choice. And I was already very drunk at this point, you're an 20 years old. You know, you're an idiot.

And I'm already very drunk at this point. and basically all I remember is he brings the milkshake. It's in one of those little, you know those little buckets you take kids take to the beach? Yeah. The little tiny plastic pail about this big with a big straw hanging out of it. And he's like, here you go, milkshake, $5, whatever, right? Give him five bucks. He gives me the milkshake bucket.

Drink the whole milkshake bucket. I'm like, well, I don't feel good. Everything's good. And then I wake up 40 hours later on the floor of my hotel room. Swear to God. My girlfriend dragged me back. I don't know. I don't know what it was. I think he put everything in there or maybe it was the booze. I have to this day, I have no idea. It might have been just a bit of everything. I have no idea. But I wake up, true story. I'm on the floor, haven't even made it into the bed of my hotel room. A whole day and a half has gone. Like this happens at like 4 p.m. in the afternoon. The rest of that day is gone. The rest of the following day is gone and I'm waking up the next morning. Yeah, that's a coma, by the way. That's how that's defined. Were you passed out or were you functioning and were told later what you had done? I made it through the rest of that day, passed out, and then didn't wake up the next day.

But I wake up. She thought he was day. Yeah, of course. I'm on the floor, like, cold tile, crummy floor in Vietnam. White tile, I remember. I'm wearing a blue dress, not my girlfriends. There are handprints all over my body from people that would, because this is apparently a thing, they're spray paint their hands and then print you.

And a coconut shell that has been fashioned with a belt over my genitals. And that's your only pants? That's it. That's all I've got on. And a blue dress, like a lady's nice sun dress. Wow. And I go to Jess, and I'm like, what happened? And she's like, you were a nightmare. Oh, God.

I couldn't even imagine. Dude, she's a saint for just helping you get back. Correct, yeah. Look, she could have just been like, okay, you're going over there? Yeah, I'm out. Right, I'm out. Your whole life could have been different from that experience. It totally could have.

I'm leaving this guy here. I woke up pretty hungover. And to this day, whether I had mushrooms or not, I have no idea, but... Wow. So you might have. But Rosters, let us know if you are into this idea of microdosing psilocybin. None of us have tried it yet.

Nope. But I've heard it's good for clarity and focus. That's right. Which I'm interested in. What else you got? Speaking of clarity and focus, at one point in time, we kind of treated this like a news show. Yeah. You know?

Are we doing some news? Yeah. Well, I think there's a... I'm going to talk really slow. I think there's a... Never ready. What's in the news? What's in the news?

Wow, there's a lot of good news stories out at the moment. Let's see, my favorite, hands-down, Zero Quest. Is one that's been floating around. I shared it on Facebook. A genomic startup, genomic startup, excuse me. Oh, yeah. Did you see this? Yeah, yeah.

It's incredible. Name colossal gets a $15 million grant to bring back woolly mammoths. We're talking real-life Jurassic Park. Yep. They have said that they actually know what they need to do to genomically, genetically sequence the right DNA to bring woolly mammoths back. And now that they have this Harvard University genetics professor on board, they got $15 million in funding to literally make Jurassic Park to bring woolly mammoths back and have them walking around.

This is wild, man. It's wild. A lot of fucking Brozner's talking about this in the discord. There's a lot of controversy on whether this should they, do this? That's the question, man. And to add to the controversy before we go into like the ethicality of doing it or not, they're doing it with CRISPR, which is already a controversial line gene editing. Yeah, gene editing. So should they do it? All right. Here's my opinion. Yes and no. Okay? Should we be bringing back animals? Absolutely. The thylacine should be brought back. The passenger pigeon

that we wiped out should be brought back. If we have directly caused the extinction of an animal and last hundred or so years, we should be bringing it back, putting it back into those ecosystems so that it can balance things out. Sure. Sure. Now, there's an argument to be made that we did, you know, lead to the demise of the woolly mammoth, but most scientists believe it was already on its way out. So should we be focusing on woolly mammoths? No. I do not think that we should be taking something that went extinct 10,000 years ago and building it just because we can, that ultimately is, well, one, it's never going to be a true woolly mammoth. Right. Because it's not. They have to, you know, it'll be an elephant with a long haircut and some big tusks,

basically, because that's how gene editing works, right? It's not a perfect woolly mammoth. Right. I don't know that. Yeah. So what they do is they take the genes of something that's very, very close to it. Yeah. Say an elephant. And then they manipulate it. Right. They go, okay, we know it needs to be 10% bigger. We know it needs to be 70% hairier. We know it needs to have bigger tusks. It needs to be adapted for cold. And you get this freak mutant thing that looks identical to a woolly mammoth, but in truth is just a deformed, fucked up elephant. Oh, wait. So they're not actually using DNA that was recovered from frozen mammoths?

No, they will, but they use that. To guide them, kind of? Well, when you get DNA, so think of DNA as a puzzle. Yeah. Right? When you get DNA from something, you get this puzzle, but there are these pieces missing, these squares. So it's like a puzzle where 30 of the squares have been taken out.

Well, you need to fill those squares in with something. Right. So now they're going to take the elephant genetics and go, put it here, put it here, put it here. Okay, great. We have something that basically is a mammoth. Where do we put this embryo? We put it inside of an elephant, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Oh, interesting. So that's how you come up with these mammoths that we're going to make. But the thing is we kind of- Mutants? Mutant mammoths. They're mutant mammoths. But are we really going to be putting them back in the tundra? I doubt it.

Yeah. I mean, that's what they're saying they want to do. Why? I don't know. I don't either, you know. I've been to the Arctic tundra. It's pretty barren. Yeah.

You'd spruce it up with a mammoth or two. I mean, here's why I would say yes. It'd be pretty cool to see it. It'd be super cool to see it. And the scientist, the lead scientist does say, and I quote, with the reintroduction of woolly mammoth, we believe our work will restore this degraded ecosystem to a richer one similar to the tundra that existed as recently as 10,000 years ago. So they actually are saying that they're doing it for, you know, the habitat.

But a lot of things have changed in 10,000 years. global warming, there's less snowpack, you know, polar bears are moving further north, like everything's kind of shifted. And again, and I understand why they're focusing on Willie Mammoth because basically they can, but why not bring back passenger pigeons? Why not bring back things that we need that are now devoid from the ecosystem? If we brought back thylacine, facial tumor disease in Tasmanian devils would likely go away, you know, because there wouldn't be this overpopulation. Yeah. So, you know, it's like things like that that we actually really need to be back is what we should be focusing $15 million of research on.

That said, most people don't care about something small like a passenger pigeon. And if you're asking me, if I'm going to pay $699 to go see a woolly mammoth or a passenger pigeon, I want to see the woolly mammoth. I mean, of course. You know, and I'm a wildlife nerd. So there's definitely got to be some monetary value to it as well. But I don't know. I just think that's super interesting news. Yeah, they're saying that the timetable, one of the scientists said six years and then the got the Harvard guy was like, that's crazy. It's not happening. It's not happening in six years.

Yeah. So this is a long, a long project. But they have $15 million. That can, that should finance it for a while. Yeah. How long can $15 million

bucks keep a lab going? Oh, I would think a while. I mean, I would say, what's a, fuck, I don't know. Well, like gene editing.

I mean, I feel like that's got to be so tedious. So many man hours. Dude, you can order CRISPR kits on the dark web and do shit in your garage. No, yeah. Oh,

Yeah, people are doing. What? In that documentary? There's a guy trying to make glow-in-the-dark dogs in his trailer park in Oklahoma. Oh, my God. This is ridiculous, man. Now that that Pandora's box is open, how much does one of these machines cost? It's a big thing at the forefront of, like, some cancer.

There's a bunch of biotechs that are in the gene editing space. There's a company called Editas. There's a couple more where they're, you know, they have a lot of money. Yeah. They're getting billions and billions of dollars because the thought is that, this is just a new frontier. Sure. Maybe you can cure

certain types of cancer and shit like that or prevent them using this gene editing software. Yeah. I mean, if they can bring back a fucking T-Rex, sure. No.

We know what, we've seen what happens with that. We've seen that movie. We start with a Komoto dragon, make it a little bigger. Yeah. Get some claws. Make it run a little faster.

No, no. I thought you said that they run very slow, actually. I said that, and then people shit all over me. Did they? I, I remember you saying. Yeah.

I read an article imperative this idea that they may have just been scavengers and very slow moving. Right. And then a lot of the Brosner sent other information or like, oh, that guy's a kook. You know, some scientist in London came up with that theory. It's just not a popular opinion. Well, speaking, though, I got a good one here that is they are, they have brought back to life the thylacine in a way. And you posted it on your Instagram. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, no, this is great. Pat's grabbing his backpack, but we're going to have to switch to the show. shared camera angle here, which is number four, Pat. Why don't you switch to that? This thylacine footage of this siloic... Somebody colorized this old public archive footage of a thylacine. And it's like, fucking spot on. It's insane.

You're looking at footage of Benjamin, the last known living thylacine. It was actually a female from the Hobart Zoo that was shot in 1936. Wow. And of course, all film in 1936 looked like that. It looked at black and white. But what happened was this group of French scientists used a process called rotoscoping, an AI algorithm, and apparently 200 hours of hard work to colorize that footage to let us get a look at what a thylacine would have actually looked like. It's wild, man. It's pretty much, I mean, it's cool to see, but it is, it's amazing how fucking acute our eyes are.

Because when you look at something in black and white, it's weird. like the gradients of gray, you can kind of tell what color stuff is. Totally. Yeah. So it's exactly how I would have, I guess I've seen probably colored in pictures of thylasey. Right, right. But yeah, it is super cool to see it. And now there's a Betty Boop thing on there.

I watched it 200 times probably. Yeah, it's fucking awesome. It's pretty crazy. I could not watch it. I mean, just like Patrick, I knew exactly what it looked like. I've seen skins. I've seen mounted ones. Like, I knew what it looked like.

Yeah. But just to see that footage and not be an animation, I don't know. I loved it. It's pretty cool. I'm really well done. You were saying you're a little hungry, weren't you? Uh-oh. Got something.

No, candy corn? Yeah, baby. Tis the season. Oh, you weren't here for that conversation. Let's crack that open. Let's do it. Thank you. That's why he's digging it.

Yeah, man. We did a Patreon podcast, one of the bonus episodes where we went through our top five Halloween candies. I said number one, candy corn. I have taken, I'm not eating anything that touches this fucking table. But I think we should do a live taste test. Okay. Open your mouth.

It's going to chip a tube. Try it. Do it. That was never going to happen. Cheers, guys. Oh, cheers. Yeah. Cheers. The single best Halloween candy.

I haven't eaten a candy corn. I saw that in probably four years. So good. Oh, fucking good. Chew in the mic. It's way better than I remember it being. I agree. It's really pretty good.

So I said candy corn is is the best Halloween candy for those who aren't Petrons because it's a harbinger of the holidays. It's a harbinger of joy. It's pretty good, man. Yeah, by the time you see candy corn's in the store, that means the weather's getting crisp.

Festivities. Thanksgiving's around the corner. Next thing, you know, Christmas lights are up and everything smells like pine. I know you. You're going to have a Christmas tree up before the end of the month. Bring a little chilly out. On the way here? But these are good.

Yeah, these are delicious. But what I was going to say is I took a lot of shit. Bro and Rob. I have five, six people being like, fuck off, mate. Candy corn's are disgusting. From the podcast because of that. We lost like 15 patrons. They're pretty good.

I'm not going to lie. In my head, they were these chalky, like, gross candies. Yeah. And they're chalky okay candies. Yeah, they're not bad. They kind of have like a maple syrupy flavor. There is a maple syrup flavor in there. Of course.

Open your mouth. Hold up. Oh, terrible throw. Why would you throw it 100 miles an hour? Yeah, was it? Give it some art. Well, I got this. Give me some mark.

Give me some mark. All right. Oh, it was almost there. These are fucking delicious. These are great. Are these the ones that you brought home and Christian said get them out of the house? Yeah.

Yeah. Listen, I wasn't there for that podcast, but I saw some of the banter back and forth. Another pick that you made junior mints? Did Pat pick junior mints? Yeah, that was insane. Fucking junior mints, dude? Thin mints.

No, I went junior mints. Yeah, people were mad about that. Why? That's toothpaste. There's so many. better, so many better candies. They're really good. They're refreshing. And by the way, it is a little bit like toothpaste. If you're ever in a pinch, don't have your toothbrush, pop a couple junior mince before bed. Just scrub them before bed. Yeah. You're good to go. You actually just get really,

really sleepy to where you're about to fall asleep and just put one in your mouth and go sleep before chewing it. Right. Just let it slowly dissolve. No, but speaking of the holidays, on the way here to the studio today, Pat goes, you know, they got the Christmas trees out at Costco already. And he goes, thinking about, I was thinking about getting one. It's, but our other friends said, no, you can't do that. It takes away the specialness of putting a tree up closer to the actual holiday. I don't agree. Why the fuck does Costco even have them in September?

Did they skip Halloween? What's going on? I think, good question. Well, I will say this. I think COVID has affected people in a lot of different ways, of course. One of them is, like, sucked a little bit of the joy out of life. For sure. Yeah.

For sure last year. people's Christmas lights were up on November 1st, which is not usual. There are some houses in my neighborhood that had them up still in March. Yeah. So I think it's just like, fuck, every day's the same. What could I do? Well, it's only 68. Yeah.

Let's put up the tree. But the big issue really is that it does take away from the specialness of it. Because otherwise you just leave the fucking tree up all year around. It doesn't take up that much space. Right. It brings you joy to look at. Part of the reason is the association. with everything that is about to come.

Yes. And in this fucking barren desert that we live in. Yeah. You know, it's fucking 98 until like November. I was happy that it got down to like 80 yesterday. I was like, this is beautiful weather. Yeah. It's beautiful.

Yeah. In the 80. Candy corn's good call. It's way better than I remember it. They're fucking delicious. Maybe we'll get some junior men at the gas station. They're a very unique candy. I got black for picking whoppers.

Well, I can see Kyle on it. He hasn't taken his eye. He's just been filming the candy corns for the last 30 minutes. He really wants some. Let's see if we can get him. Here we go, Kyle. Oh, that was close.

That was close. At least Kyle bashed his head off the tripod behind him. What else is in the news? Let's do one more news item here for. Let's see, what else is fun? What else is fun? Oh, Peter, let's do the screen share

for number two, please, or Patrick. This was big. This was flying all around, and I use the term flying intentionally. Because at a University of Miami game, a little kitty cat. Have you seen this, Patrick? Oh, God.

Look at this kitty cat. He's dangling from the banner. And by the way, no one fucking guy hops the rail and grabs him. If that was me, I guarantee I would have hop the rail. What's that one guy doing? Nothing. They're just looking at it. But wait for it.

Wait for it. Look at one. Oh, his paw. He's got one paw. He's hooked on by one claw right now. Oh, but they catch him and save him. and save his life. Someone caught the cat?

Yes, in an American... Yeah. Goes wild. Here you go. In an American flag. Dude. I mean, that's amazing. This video...

Sorry, go ahead. Could you imagine how traumatic that ensues... The entire stadium. erupted. Yeah. This video restored my faith in humanity. It's fucking great.

The funniest part of that video to me is... They catch the cat in the American flag. Yep. A bunch of drunk University of Miami students are holding up the cat and people are screaming. And then just two normal run-of-the-mill ushers like run over. Like, give me the cat. Right. Like, they're going to do something about it.

Like, it is if they're an animal ragmer or an event. They have some control over the cat situation. Yeah. Dude, that's awesome. Can you, after I rejoiced in the, because I can't watch shit like this, you know, I'm thinking that this thing is going to fucking die. And normally I can filter that kind of stuff out of my, my, my, My genre, I actually posted a thing.

There's a website called Does the Dog Die? That will tell you. No, no. Does the dog die where it tells you like if in a movie or something without giving you spoilers, there's going to be like an animal that dies or something. That's hilarious. You have to be very triggerable if you're checking that. I'm very tricky.

So I'm thinking this cat's going to die. So I have running through my head like, oh my God, the trauma of the people that are under this cat that they're going to go through to watch this thing, because they're all looking at it so intensely. And I didn't know it was going to get caught. And I was like, oh, my God, thank God. Well, I loved it. It's in the news.

It's great. It restores my faith in humanity. Cats, there have been documented cases, or at least one, where a cat fell 30 stories from either window or a building and survived. Yeah. But it's commonly thought that a cat can fall 20 stories and survive. 20?

Like seriously, commonly thought? Yeah, 20 stories. Now, that's not saying they will every. chime, obviously. But a 20-story fall, there's a chance of cats surviving. Wow. Which, unlike us, you know, if I fall when I'm standing up, I'm probably going to hit my head and die. Cats have got to be some of the most resilient creatures on Earth.

I met a 19-year-old cat yesterday at this party I was at. And I was like... Was he eating the cream fish? He would have. He's only eaten white fish. That's the key to as long as I'm like, this cat is 19. He's spry. He's hopping around.

He's eating the flowers. He's looking for food. the ground. He's like coming for pets. I'm like, that's the equivalent of a human being 150, just like coming around and being like, hey, what's up?

Like, I'm still good to go here. And I'm just like a fucking 19 year old cat. They are, so like, question for you for us. In nature, felines, there's so many different kinds, large cats.

Are they, I mean, they're fucking that resilient. Like they live a very, do they live a very long time? And then they, they're very cautious too. For the most part, yeah, most cat species have pretty long lives.

They're very clever. They're very cautious. You know, some cats like lions and stuff rely on on... Sleeping a lot. Well, yeah, they rely on that. They rely on the pride, so on and so forth. Yeah, no, it's pretty fair. It's just wild to meet a 19-year-old cat.

I was like, really? This is a thing? Well, oh, yeah, 19's not even that old for a house cat. It's not super old for a house cat. The oldest living house cat lived into its 40s. Whoa. That's insane. The oldest confirmed birth given by a cat was a 30-year-old house cat who had a litter of two kittens.

That's wild. Real quick, a couple cat facts here. Yeah, seriously. Let's play a little trivia again. Okay. Facts fever. In North America, are there more domesticated cats or dogs? Not including feral.

So these are pets. Do more people have dogs? Dogs. Or cats. I'm going to go cats just to... Dogs are more popular. Cats. Seventy-three million cats?

63 million dogs. Ten million birds, dead. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why that is. 10 billion. Because if you went per capita, yeah. Yes.

Dogs. But because you have in every trailer park, the one old lady with 35 cats in her trailer, the number goes up. Yeah. It's true. Dogs make about 10 different sounds, audibilizations, if you will.

My dog does all 10. How many different sounds does a cat make? 23. Three. One hundred. Wow. Around a hundred. It's a lot of sounds.

What is a group of cats called? A pack. So essentially a herd of feral cats that moves together. What are they called? A stinky fur. Yep. No, that's not good. It's actually funnier than that.

I don't know. Pass proub. A proud. A plowder. A clowder. Literally spelled like chowder, but with an owl instead of an h. Last one. Last one.

No, I like this game. What is the... Okay, a couple more. Yeah, do it. You got to learn something. It's a takeaway effect. I'm learning. I don't know much about domestic cats.

I mean, look, Daniel Kool is going to use this at a bar to pick up a hot chick. You know what I mean? That guy, he smashes. He doesn't need this. A group of cats... Oh, sorry. What is the technical scientific term for a hairball? A technical scientific...

Do you know? Coughwad. Nope. It's not a cough wad. A mucus malibal It's a hairball So it's not a mucus anything

There's mucus in the hair It's called a bazaar A bazaar A bzor B-E-Z O-A-R I'm learning a lot right now Last one Yeah

On average You know at the bar To pick up a chip On average 16 hours a day sleeping It means they're awake For about eight hours Of that eight hours

How much time Are they cleaning themselves Like percentage wise Or hours wise Up to you we have both there I mean I can instantly do the math yeah of course okay

one third of their time which would still be a lot of their awake time yeah they're awake time I'm gonna say 99% pet that's ridiculous I have a cat you're correct one third so around almost three hours a day yeah of just licking their own genitalia and butthole well they're constantly mine does and then like on the face

it's the cutest thing a cat does it's adorable They are fucking beasts though, man. My cat is like nine pounds. If you accidentally catch a claw, because she does this thing where she climbs the ladder. Okay. I have a ladder that goes up to a loft. Of course you do.

Climes the ladder, which is a fucking fascinating thing to watch. Up there can't come down. Got it. I've tried everything. Now I just blocked the ladder off. But I thought if I just leave her up there for half a day, she'll learn.

Doesn't matter. It has to block the ladder. Got to do it. But when I go get her, I'm now teetering on. top of this sketchy ass ladder. And I have a cat who doesn't want to be held.

That's clawing. Freaking out. Dude, if you catch the bat claws of a nine-pound cat, it's probably an ER visit. It's terrible. And it stings and itches like a motherfucker for like three days. I can't even imagine. I've always had this idea that I could survive a mountain lion attack.

No. Because people can't, you know, have. Yeah, yeah. I've almost been killed by a nine-pound house cat. That loves you. Yeah, exactly. Oh, shit. That's it for the catfax.

I think it's time. For one? I think I know what time it is. What time is it? Do you know what time it is? God. For what? Battle Royale.

Okay, I'm making one up. I'm doing it on the spot. Oh, shit. You ready? This would be great. No Googling. No Googling. This is a Google-proof.

I'm keeping mine open because I have to keep track of who picks why. I'm keeping mine open and I'll be typing furious. No, don't do that. Okay, sorry. But I won't Google, I promise. Okay. So, you are remaking the Disney movie, Madagascar.

Yep. In the movie, Madagascar, a hippo, a zebra, a lion, and a giraffe, escape from Central Park Zoo, and they go on a zany adventure. Sure, okay. Sounds awesome. Right. Never seen it? Never seen it? I don't watch movies intended for children, but.

Sure. Now rat's atouille. Those four animals are out. Okay. You're remaking this movie. Okay. What are your three animals? What are their sort of characters or natures?

Who's the tough guy? Who's the dweeb? And what's their Zany Adventure? Now, Madagascar, they used animals that are not indigenous to Madagascar. So they don't all have to be from the same place. Nope. You've got three animals. They're escaping from Central Park Zoo.

You're creating an animated, a kid's movie about their zany adventure. Pitch it to me. I like it. Pitch it to each other. Is it a snake draft? No, too complicated. You just got to go, Red. Just got to go.

Jesus. Yep. No snake draft. Okay. You're going first? I'll go first. Fuck it. I mean, this is ridiculous. I haven't. He's been Googling the most brutish animal.

I wrote tough guy, funny guy. What's the third guy? Whatever you want. Whatever you want it to be. Whatever you, the accountant. The straight-laced guy. Set your watches for 25 minutes. And we'll be out of here tomorrow.

Okay. So we need three, three animals or four? Three animals. Will they be battling to the death as well? That's up to you. It's your movie. It's your movie. movie made.

I'm asking if they will be battling your animals. No, no fighting here. It's a movie. It's whoever makes a good battle royale. 200 million dollar budget. Pixar's going to make this. Okay, so my first animal is going to be my old friend, the chimpanzee. I used him in a previous, I believe, movie.

Okay, but what's his character and stuff? Come on. Relax. Relax. Relax. He's the tough guy. He's a tough guy. Okay. Yeah, he's got an Uzi. He's got a gun. Okay. That's just. This is supposed to be a kid's movie, mate. This is very like 1930s.

He's got a squirt gun. Chimp with an Uzi. Kyle's over there, packing up his camera. He's mortified by you. So this guy, he's the leader of the group. He's a chimp. His name's Chimpy.

Makes sense. Yeah, yeah, Chimpy the chimp. Chimpy the chimp. Love it. He leads the funny guy. Funny guy, obviously, they got pigs at a zoo, right? Sure.

A pig. They're smart. They're witty. Pigs are very witty. Have you ever seen Charlotte's web? Yeah, they're very smart. Or Lion King. It's good.

The pig's name is going to be Patrick. He's smart. He's witty. And also a pig. I like it. And then we have the straight-laced, account-y-type guy. Why are you an accountant?

Well, you got the tough guy with the machine gun, the funny guy, and then the accountant. That's your dynamic. A accountant tea. He's straight-laced. I think he's got like a tie and glasses. and he does math a lot. Maybe his name.

What's the animal, though? Okay, the animal will be the straightest-laced animal. Herpes? In a zoo. No. Don't step on my dessert. It will be the giraffe, my friends.

Nope. Nope. Remember, said, can't be the animals from the movie Madagascar. I've never seen the fuck. I just bought us another 45 minutes here. Sorry, I should have just let it slide.

Okay. He never wins. The five won the last one for sure. The final animal in my, crew will be a very straight-laced polar bear. Oh, the accountant. Right. They're good at math.

They're smart. And his name will also be Pat. Which gives a lot of jokes because then when the chimpanzees like, hey, Pat, and they're like, what? This is my movie. Shut the fuck up. There'll be no jokes like that. Yeah.

I don't like it. So they will be on a zany adventure. And coming across your shitty tribe of animals, they will also. decimate them in a battle. That's what's going to happen. He's... People want violence. They want a battle.

There's no battle what... I know. It's crazy. You want to go to X? You want me to go next? I know my plot. I got to think of my animals. Okay, I'll go. All right. So, let's see. I've got three fun animals. They're all adorable. They're lovable.

They have different personas. Leading the group. Very unexpected. It's a porcupine. Very prickly on the outside. But you find out. later on that he's got a heart of gold, you know, he's got kind of a grumpy demeanor, he's prickly, he's off-putting.

Now you're thinking like a TV movie guy. He's seen the movie, he's describing the movie. He might not be saying it. In the film, people mistake him for a cactus, and they mistake him, you know, for other spiky objects, and that's kind of like his schick. Did that happen in Madagascar, the movies?

No, can you just shut up and let me tell my movie? I love it. Like you guys hit me? Okay. I'm porcupine with a heart of gold. He's the leader. His name's Pete. Not Pat. The leader.

But I assume based on what you said that he has a character arc where he's very prickly at first. Correct. And then you realize he's just a little, he's, he's insecure. Yeah. And he's masking his insecurity with his quills, if you will. You've got it. And he's talking about Pete the porcupine?

I think we should stop doing the podcast and write this film tonight. Thank you. I'm loving Pete the porcupine. You too. He's based on me. Okay. So we've got our grumpy porcupine. He's sort of our main character.

You don't really love him, but you also have to because he's got a heart of gold. It all unveils. You got it. It's good stuff. Accompanying him, this prickly porcupine, is a happy-go-lucky. What's a goofiest accent in the world? It's Australian, right? So we got a nice Sheila kangaroo.

Her name, Sheila, she hops along. She's quite fun. Nice. You know, her character arcs quite simple. She's there. She's very motherly. She takes care of everybody. She's overly concerned at everything that's happening.

The whole time, everything can go wrong. It's always a disaster. Sheila, the kangaroo, is there to kind of rain. it in. Be the voice or reason. I like that. I'm very good. Making it up as I go.

Of course you are. He's pecking away at the computer now. I'm writing down my own choices. I don't forget. And the final animal that is accompanying our prickly porcupine, our worried and nervous kangaroo is a bold, a boison, a really outspoken tiger. Okay. You know, sort of a Tony, the tiger, if you will. But, you know, everybody loves a big cat.

It's nice to have him there. He's pretty. He's good to look at. But turns out he's kind of a cat. coward. Got it. Here's the, here's the schick. Like, you think he's tough,

you think he's big, he's a tiger. He's kind of a coward, though. He's a nervous Nelly the whole time. Okay, and then what are they doing? Pat? I have to explain the movie. Yours is just fight Patrick, so that's... I'm asking what the tiger's name is.

I was suggesting Pat. Oh, no, I haven't come up with all the names here. I guess I did say Sheila and what did I say? Pete, the porcupine. Yeah. This will be, you know, direct spinoff of Kellogg's instead of being Tone, it'll be Timmy.

me the tiger. He's good enough. And they're escaping from Central Park Zoo. They're on the run, and they wind up in the wilds of Montana. It's extremely confusing because there's snow. They don't know what to do about it. They don't know what to do, yeah. Yeah, it's a mess.

There's bison they can chat with. There's geysers going off. And they somehow develop a nice life and stay in Montana. Even when they encounter an unruly rag-tag bunch of which they won't be. Because they're not fighting. It's not how it works. They are fighting. It's a battle.

Battle. At no point where they ever fight. That wasn't real strong. Started strong. Patrick, let's go. Okay. I'm going to, so here's the plot first and then the characters. Very good.

So we're going to, here's the plot of the movie. Three animals in a zoo. Like us. Okay. They're mischievous. They get out, they know how to get out of their enclosures at night. And this is just something they do to get together so they can be friends and hang out. One night they look into the, the marine area where they do little otter shows.

and things like that, and they look through this crack in the door, and they see that the zookeepers have acquired a mermaid. Wow. Okay? And they're, like, treating the mermaid poorly, and then they overhear that they're going to take the mermaid to some other location to do bad things. Experiments on the mermaid.

Yep. So the three animals have to team up to go break out of the zoo and rescue this mermaid from having terrible experiments done to her. You should write. You should write for TV. I'm captivating. So I concede at this point. So the first animal I'm going to go with is sort of the brains of the operation.

Get this. Not even kept at the zoo. Oh, wow. It's a squirrel. I thought you're going to say pigeon. No, it's a squirrel. They can get in and out. You know what I mean?

Yeah, fiddles with the locks. He's like the jail break. Exactly. Makes that ends up. And because he's not kept at the zoo, he knows the streets. Yeah. He knows the outside world. He's such a TV producer.

He's so good at this. He knows how to go across wires. Yep. Yeah. We should have made him go first. So the brains of the operation is chippy. Chippy the squirrel. Very nice. You don't think he'd be a chipmunk, but he hates chipmunks.

That's about nutty. Now we need some muscle, right? Occasionally we're going to have to bash through a barricade. Makes sense. Now this is going to make it tough to go across the power lines, though. We have the o-fish, but not a mean fucking bone in his body, hippopotamus. Great. Pure brawn.

Pure o'clock. Ofishness. In my movie, it's going to be the pink one from... In Madagascar. Oh, fuck, a hippos in... Yeah. Madagascar?

I put the... Is there a rhino? Nope. Okay, rhino. Yep, right. Right. Pink? Still pink?

Walter the rhino. Walter. Not pink now. This is just a plain-ass gray rhino. It's going to be the muscle. You expect him to be super intimidating, but he's kind of got like a ghou-h-h-h-type thing. Yeah.

So that's classic. He's voiced by Kevin from the office. Yeah, exactly. Classic, classic Disney stuff. So now we need sort of the love interest that both Chippy and Walter are quite interested in. Makes sense. It's because it's not the dynamic. But ultimately they decide it's better to just put their burning erections away and just focus on the job.

Yeah, the task at hand. The love interest is the sexiest animal in the animal kingdom. It's a lovely long-eylashed camel. A camel. Nice. Very nice. How much plastic surgery is she had? Quite a bit.

Yeah. A lot of Botox. Carmel? No, Phoebe. Phoebe. Yeah, because she wants you could have like a squeaky voice. And it's like Phoebe. I don't know.

I'm not going to do the voice. Grandrecher is. So there's my selection. Very good. Okay. And do they end up saving the mermaid at the end? Of course they do. Of course.

And then nobody gets the mermaid. You ever see a Disney movie where they don't win? So one of them gets the mermaid and one of them gets Phoebe. Then I take it at the end. Why are you making the sexual? No. Like as you get the girl I'm not to know no I mean there's always a love

story all right so that That didn't go quite how I imagined it my head They're sure kind of fun way in let us know Whose movie you'd want to watch Is it Peters Is it are they old Patrick? I forget Chimpanzee tough guy the funny pig Or the polar bear accountant

That's just on an adventure to fight Is it my grumpy porcupine With a heart of gold Sheila the kangaroo or timmy the tiger that all go on an adventure to Montana to meet some American animals or Patrick's escape plan from the zoo where Chippy the squirrel

comes in, causes some havoc, lets everybody out, everybody being an o-fish rhino and a sexy camel named Phoebe with a high voice that go on a mission to rescue a mermaid. These are good movies. I want to see how one of them is. I think we should write them right now.

I think it's already done. Why don't you pitch that one? We just pitched it. Everybody, Stephen Spielberg watches the pod. Tweet this to Stephen Spielberg. Oh, he was already ringing me, Spielberg. You're listening? Yes, all three. Greenlit.

Done. Yeah. Hello, this is Netflix. You've been Greenlit. Yeah. Oh, my God. You're about to knock over the whole set. Right.

I was trying to kind of relax into a position that was good for the outro. Guys. I found a candy corn with no white on top. Eat it. Is that like the Dorito that's puffed? No, you've got a million dollars for us. Good night, everybody. No, not yet.

We love you guys. Go to the Wild Timespodcast.com forward slash info for all the links. check out the Patreon, which allows us to be in this wonderful studio. Yeah, we do awesome stuff, stuff that will get us canceled by YouTube. Not canceled, but taken down. Yeah.

On the Patreon, four extra podcasts every month. They're a lot of fun, a lot of laughs. Yeah, we tend to drink more on those. Yeah. Yeah. It gets more yucks, because we do more drinking. It's a lot of yuck and yucking it up, man. Play the outroks.

I've got to make an important phone call. Patreon.com forward slash Wild TimesPod. We love you. Good night. Yeah.