Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #78 - Loch Ness Drone Sighting, Ivory Woodpecker Declared Extinct, & Animal Divorce Court

Episode Date: October 4, 2021

Welcome to week 78 of The Wild Times podcast, with your host Forrest Galante. We're talking everything in the title, plus a whole bunch of other shenanigans. Including a pitch for a new Forrest Galante hosted show, "Animal Divorce Court." Love you all. You make our days! Check out the Patreon @ https://patreon.com/wildtimespod All the link @ https://thewildtimespodcast.com/info

Wild Times. He's already not paying attention. He's here. He's with us and we are back. It's the Wild Times episode number 78. Not my favorite episode. I haven't even done it yet and I already know it's not my favorite episode. I'll tell you why.

Why is that? Because we're not in the studio. I like them better when we're all hanging out. Don't get me wrong. Still fun, just not my favorite episode we've ever done already. Yeah. Last time we're in the studio, man. Yeah, I was go, Peter.

That's what I was going to say. The Taco Bell, the Taco Bell adventure, even though it turned out to be like a 40-minute bonus episode on the Patreon. Yeah. It took up a good three hours of our time in the studio. Three hours. It took up three days of my life because it took three hours in the studio and two days and 12 more hours of sitting on a toilet after we were done with that. It was disgusting. I hated it.

I'll tell you what, though. Now your pigs loved it. Yeah. Dude, I love the video of the pigs eating that Taco Bell. I mean, it was so good. 20 pounds each, and they finished that shit very quickly. Very quickly in a matter of seconds. All right.

Well, wait, we haven't done the intro thing. We haven't done the intro thing. So let's get into it. So it's the Wild Times episode number 78. If you're listening for the first time, you're a nitwit because there are 77 other incredible episodes that you should go and listen to. Not to mention all the really. fun stuff on Zepertrion, including things like us stuffing our faces with three of everything

from the Taco Bell menu. I'm your host, Forrest Galante. I'm some kind of a biologist. Not a very good one, but I try hard. Joining me, the lovely baby Yoda hated. Retep. What's up for me? You have to go to me because the other guy that's on the podcast is literally not looking

at us. He's texting. He's looking at the phone. He thinks he's on an episode of the Kardashians. where all they do is film them while they text each other. That's what he thinks is happening. That's okay. That's okay.

We have more audio listeners anyways, but if you are listening to the audio, come watch the video. You'll see Pat staring at his phone. Happy to be here, gents. Happy that the Taco Bell has finally left my system from all those weeks ago. Love you guys.

So, look, I'm the producer. Go ahead. Introduce me. It's important. I mean, you did it. You did it. Yeah. And, of course, the one and only the producer,

Patrick DeLuca. Hey, buddy. I, yeah, I'm a TV producer. That's what I do. I come up with show ideas, and I've got one for you right now. Oh. By the way, it stars you. I think you might like it.

I love it already. Please continue. You guys met. It's like rekindling. Yeah, when I said, let's do brunch. You'll never let it go. Never, as long as you shall live. May, if you eventually do succumb to a snake bite from a night adder or something like that,

Yeah. I will talk about that at your funeral and be like, look, now he's dead. I never said, let's do brunch. I love it. All right. I want to pitch this show. I want to take this out to all the networks. Judge Judy is worth over $120 million for us.

Would you like to have $120 million? Very much so, yes. Okay, great. This is the show. It's called pet divorce. Forrest Galante is the chief. judge. And it is a show where couples that are either getting divorced or having breakups that have a pet, you decide, and it's legally binding, you decide who gets the pet and they argue their case

and you just do what Judge Judy does. You lob questions at him and you decide who gets to keep the pet. I love it. I think we should play it. I think it should be a game. I don't understand how this is not an actual show. I actually don't either. Yeah. By the way, when he started saying it, I'm like, this is an Animal Planet show. Like Judge Judy isn't a real judge. You could put me in a little gavel and a gown and sit me up there and I can pretend to be a judge. Overall. Yeah, and just yell at people.

Overall, the hamster goes to Sarah. Forrest, you got to look at this like this is the audition. So you got to make this as good and as real as possible, okay? All right. Here we go. Okay, got it. All right. Meaning I'm going to send this to Animal Planet.

Yeah. We're recording a sizzle reel. the podcast. So this is cool for the brosunners to see how we do it. All right, here we go. On this episode of pet divorce, a chimpanzee caught in limbo between

Brettep and the producer. They were together for five years, and they owned the chimp, and the chimp's name is Kenny. Kenny the chimp. Lovely. I like how you're taking notes. He's taking notes. This is important.

Kenney the chimp. Judges take notes. write things down. All rise for the Honorable Judge Forrest Galante as he enters into the room of pet divorce. I stood up for you, Judge. I just want you to know that. Oh, thank you. One point to retap. I follow instructions. I'm mimicking. No, it's very nice, but I also appreciate that one of you is properly clothed, whereas the other one of you decided to show up to court in a beer tank top. I'm not really sure if I'm going to hold that against you or for you yet, but Clearly, we know who wears... Sorry for that, Your Honor.

Yeah, we know who wears the pants in this relationship. All right. Gentlemen, I'm sorry to hear about your divorce, but please tell me about Kenny. Peter, you go first. Okay. Well, so, Kenny was... You know, I'm very attached to Kenny. I brought him home from a trip to wherever chimps come from.

Of course. I smuggled him into the United States in my luggage. He was able to fit. in my luggage and I didn't get caught so I'm very attached. Excuse me, sir. Are you saying that you committed the nefarious crime of wildlife smuggling to bring Kenny into the United States? Well, Judge, Judge, hear me out.

He was going to be euthanized by a cartel of crazy drug dealers over there. They were trying to use him as, you know, the muscle in their group. He didn't cut it. I saved his life. That's all I'm saying, Judge. I've heard enough. Patrick, is this the truth? Your Honor, what he's saying is partly true and that he did smuggle Kenny home in his luggage.

The drug cartel, I was with Peter on this trip. Of course, it was our honeymoon. And it was until Peter decided to basically take a bunch of random street drugs that he procured in Johannesburg. Objection, objection, relevance. You can't object. checked in small claims court. And call the judge, Your Honor.

Are you going to let him go on? Overruled, I would like to hear what the objection is about, Rete. What is not true? This is all hearsay. The drug thing, he wasn't there when I picked those drugs up. But you're admitting to picking up drugs. Patrick, please continue. Peter, you've said enough.

The reason I wasn't there when he bought the street drugs is because he didn't come back to the hotel for 48 hours. when he did he had a pocket full of pills to try and hide them from me some of them he hid them under the bath mat in the hostel we were staying in when he took the drugs he left for another three days ruining our honeymoon

but returning with a chimpanzee named Kenny and his luggage I'd also like to just add that I love Kenny very much and the reason I'm wearing a tank top is because I was outside all afternoon exercising Kenny oh lovely thank you for being such a good and honorable pet keeper. Peter, I am not going to lie.

When we started this conversation, I was feeling like you were the good guy. You showed up well prepared. You're well-dressed. You yourself brought Kenny into your lives. It sounded like the natural person to maintain the relationship with Kenny was you. But Patrick is telling me that he's the one who's taking care of him.

He's outside playing with him. And you're going out on seven-day drug benders. What's the truth, Peter? No, we were on vacation when that happened. first of all, and I'm still not admitting to the drug bender. I couldn't deal with him for two days. I needed some time away. Well, you need a lot of vacations, don't you, Peter?

I let you speak, didn't I. Take a vacation when you have a shared chip. Judge, I just want to point out. Wait, wait, wait, let me answer your question, Judge. I just want to say. Interrupting the judge. He claims to take care of Kenny. It's patently untrue.

When he just said that he was out exercising Kenny, what he means is that he was having Kenny mow his lawn and do other chores around the house because that's what he does with Archimp Kenny. I provide love to Kenny. I massage his back after a long day of Pat basically. That's enough. Patrick, is this true? Have you forced, have you subjected Kenny into a life of ape slavery?

I have chosen to give pause. I only train Kenny through. basically positive through positives, right? I don't punish Kenny. Kenny gets treats. This is what I have to listen to, Judge. Kenny loves candy corn, and I have trained Kenny to mow the lawn in exchange for candy corns.

But he loves it, and I will also add that under my supervision, since our separation, Kenny is sober when he's with me. I went over to Peter's house. How dare you. And I'm ashamed to admit this. But I went through his recycling bin because I was looking for condom wrappers to see if he has already moved on. There was about 16 bottles of red wine, and him and Kenny had been together for four days. And one of them, Your Honor, had one of Kenny's hairs stuck in the little foil wrapping.

So I know that Kenny was slugging straight out of the bottle. Give him a glass. First of all, this is crazy. He was looking in his own trash, okay? and what he found on his own wine bottles. I don't even drink wine, neither just Kenny, for that matter. But this guy drinks, first of all, he is the biggest liar. Don't worry, folks.

We'll move on from this bit soon. No, I don't want to. I'm really enjoying this. The hypothetical. I mean, you can just hear the lies coming through his mouth, can't you, Judge? Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen. Let me ask you this. What are the grounds for the divorce?

I'll let you feel that, Patrick. There was infidelity on both parties on the same night. On the same night. And where was Kenny hearing this night? If you were both so busy with other people. Kenny was in the care of our human child. Oh, you do have a human child. We adopted, on the same trip where we got Kenny, we also adopted.

We adopted a son named Kenny. Yeah, he's great. He's 11. He's very capable of... How old is Kenny the human? 11 years old. And how old is Kenny the chimp? He has no idea.

He has no idea. I know, though. That's interesting. Three and a half. Because I'm basically Kenny's chauffeur when he needs a vet appointment every three days. Hey, Peter, what is Kenny's birthday? 312, 2018. That's incorrect because he's five and a half.

It's three and a half. It's two, 13, 2016. This is why I'm so fucking glad to be rid of you, Peter. That's fine. That's fine. Judge, I can't handle any more of this. This is too distressing. Make your decision. I've said everything. Don't tell the judge what to do. Here's what I think. You both should be held in contempt of court. This is absolutely ludicrous. One of you is literally drinking during the court hearing. The other one of you take so many drugs.

You don't remember your own son or your monkey son's birthday. I say you each get a Kenny and we move on. You take the human. You can have the human. Oh. No, I'll take the chimp, please. This son is actually quite annoying and actually doesn't speak a lick of English. Also won't do any of the chores. I would watch this.

If this was a real show, if it was Judge Judy for pet divorces and the stories were as absurd as what we just heard, I would watch. They'd be worse. How about this? How about it's a three-person triumvirate? So it's all three of us in gowns with white wigs and gavels. And we hear real cases. I think that would be like a big splashy show. I think like two, three million people would watch that.

Yeah. Without any question. The problem is the people that we were on trial wouldn't get a word in because us three would be so busy arguing. They'd be like, sorry, what's your problem again? It's pretty much how Judge Judy works, too. She lets them talk for about two seconds. It's like, Forrest understands the animal's behavior and needs. Peter, we don't know why he's there.

I was really wondering where you're going with that. Me too. I could think of anything. I think of one compliment for old TEP. Forrest, rain us back in. Rain us in as the host. Yes. Oh, man.

Honestly, I could have done that for another hour. I thought that was really funny. Let us know if you like it, Brosner's. We're going to pitch this to AP. Well, don't be fooled. This is not a court show about two men who have sons and chimpanzees named Kenny that are getting a divorce. This is a wildlife fun nonsense humor show. And so one thing we like to do is talk about what's in the news.

What's in the news? Oh, yeah. Yeah, baby. Okay, so guys, listen, have you guys seen this Loch Ness monster? citing, this footage that's come out? I have not. I have not either. Way to rip off Patrick's thing there.

Sorry. I'm good mimicry. So there's this guy, right? Richard Maver. He's on a camping trip, 54 years old. He's on a camping trip in the outdoors on Lake, on the lock, right? On lock now. And he's filming drone footage, right?

And according to him, he's filming drone footage. of the beach and the kayaks. And I recommend you guys watch this video, right? So in the middle of his like 12 minute long video that he puts out on YouTube, there's a single, it's called it 30 second clip where the drone starts going down, down, panning over their campsite

and clear as day in the water is what looks like a pleasaur, swimming right up to the campsite. Well, we're going to have to get this, but I'm watching an ad, and it's a brutal website to pull up. Well, Peter figures out the technology of pulling this up. What is it? What do you think it is?

Well, that's the question. So, okay, when, when, what's our buddy? What's the thylosine? Our buddy's name Neil. Neil Waters. Neil Waters. When Neil Waters, quote unquote, sees a thylacine, which is, you know, the foot of your garden variety house cat on a trail camera, whatever happens to be, he makes a big splash, right?

he tells everybody he's discovered it and like he's the fucking shit and so on and so forth, right? And that's like a thing. Right. This guy puts out a 12 minute YouTube video where supposedly he hadn't even seen this in the clip. And a bunch of people on YouTube identify it and go, holy shit. Oh, wow. There it is. Okay. So this is not like him being like I filmed it. I filmed it. He put out a very dull, boring 12 minute long YouTube video and a bunch of people watching it on the internet went, holy shit, have you seen that thing in the video? So, that to me gives it a hint of credibility, or this guy's a fucking genius, because that's absolutely the way to be like, oh my God, I didn't even know.

Whoa, check the check that out. I film the Loch Ness Monster. I always see those like on Buzzworthy, and there's always like those headlines where it's like, this husband had no idea his wife was cheating until he looked closer at this photo. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's that thing on the internet. People just love to do two things on the internet. They like to find things that other people haven't yet and be the first to do it. And then they like to prove people wrong. So if you can get them to do either of those two things, you're going to go viral. It's the secret sauce. He's gone viral. The strategy is genius. The question is, is it genuine? Is it real? Now, I want to turn this over to you, Paz. Patrick, you know more about footage than Retepp and I combined. When you watch this clip, and I'll give you my two cents on it after you weigh in. When you watch this clip, is it real? Is it fake?

Has he got something there? Has he doctored it? What are you seeing with your producer eyes? So I don't, here's what I would say. To me, it almost looks like a sawfish. So I think there is a plausible explanation. But what I would say is that is one of the easiest CGs to do. I mean, basically, in TV we have offline editors, right? And what an offline editor is, is like the person who just gets the story together, puts the music in, but they don't mix the sound. They don't make graphics.

If there's really simple, like C.G, a lot of these offline editors can do it because they have a program called After Effects, right? So, like, something like I did a show where there was a lot of Old West shootouts. out, right? Like just adding the muzzle flash and the smoke from the gun is super easy. There's a plug in where you literally click it and it looks fucking amazing. Oh, cool. Yeah. This would be one of the easiest things to do a, like a good, someone who's good with

After Effects could have made this in, I would say, no joke, probably like 20 minutes. Because the animal's under the surface, you see mostly a shape. There's very little detail. the big thing you want to look at here with this is the movement of the water, because water is a tricky thing that separates a good effects artist from someone who sucks. So you've got to look at the movement of the water here. So what are you seeing when you look at it? Is the water moving the right way?

Is there an argument to be saying that if this is a real animal, it's too deep to be moving the water? Well, also, I mean, let me ask you this. Well, unfortunately, because there's a fucking ad in this video. Dude, it's so brute. And so every time you rewatch it, it plays a new goddamn fucking ad. So sorry, you're not as interested in velvita cheese noodles as you are, the Loch Ness Monster? That Loch Ness Monsters make me hungry.

I didn't look at the water, but that's something I think the Brosner should check out if they choose to look this up. This Loch Ness Monster caught on a drone footage. Look at the movement of the water and see, because water is usually the things. that will indicate. Water or hair, right? So hair, the quickest way to tell if something's a green screenshot or a real shot is look at the person's hair. Interesting.

And you'll see the hair's doing weird things, and it just doesn't look right. But for us, this is a wildlife show. Let's presume that this is a real video. I don't think it's a pleasosaur. What could it be? Well, that is the question. I mean, the shape of it does not match any known creature.

I mean, as they zoom in on it, you see sort of four legs, the long neck, the long tail. You know, there's an argument to be made, oh, it's a sturgeon. It doesn't look anything like a sturgeon, right? A sturgeon built like a torpedo. You know, this thing has this weird square body, this long neck. And, you know, I was going to say I have a comment on it. My comment is, why does this video start where it starts and stop where it stops? Right?

Like, if you were shooting that as a drone pilot, and I get, you know, I'm sure. the guy's an amateur and not a professional, wouldn't you be rolling further down or wouldn't you see the thing fly away? Like, why is it just that one segment where the drone just moves for 20 seconds or whatever and then you don't see it again? You know, it cuts to the next shot. I think that's pretty questionable. That's questionable. And here's another thing that's questionable to me. It says that the guy, the, the, the video is he says he was shooting some drone footage for his outdoors YouTube channel. Right.

What the fuck is that drone shot? Why would you shoot that? A straight down shot of the banks. It's not a beautiful shot. It's a horrible shot. It's a horrible shot. Yeah. So that's not something you would be like,

I got to get the drone up. I think it's faked. I agree. I think it's faked. And I'll tell you, I put this on my Facebook, and I asked Brosner's and fans alike to weigh in. And somebody found,

Peter, I don't know if you could pull this up or not. Don't feel like you have to. But on my Facebook. Facebook, somebody found the exact toy that has the same sort of colors and shape that I guess is a very large toy as the thing in the video. And what this poster was saying was that this guy went and bought this toy and basically swum it underneath the shoreline and captured this video intentionally and then put it out there knowing that people were going to see it. So the toy is like, it was like, because this thing's like 15 feet long. I don't know if the toy's 15 feet long. There's like a link to the toy, but I'm not going to lie.

I didn't go to it. Would that make it even easier to after effects it if it had the base of just like a smaller version of it and then just like make it bigger? Of course. Yeah. You're just overlaying two levels of video, right? In that case. It's also way easier to manipulate, right? Like what I mean by that is if I had a 15 foot, I mean, I did a thing with a 30-foot long inflatable whale.

right if I had a 15 foot toy you know I could put Johnny Harrington underneath that toy and he could swim around with it while I film my drone shot right and uh because I know he can hold his breath for three minutes so it's like yeah there you go like that'll do that'll do the trick um I don't know

it was interesting though and it's made a lot of headlines no pun intended it's made some waves um and uh it would be very cool if it was real it sure looks like a pleasiosaore in the footage It's just so I mean it's just so ridiculous though You're watching it over and over huh?

Oh, I'm just thinking too Like just the idea that a pleasius Like that a tiny population of pleasiors With a one dinosaur that survived It just doesn't make any sense man Yeah And also why there And you know

What's it eating And like sure the lock is connected to the ocean But you're telling me that Specific dinosaur is moving in and out of the ocean ocean undetected, like, by the way, they have lizard brains, right? It's a dinosaur. It has a lizard brain. If you're a 30 foot, 40 foot, I don't know, I don't remember how long, pleasioors are. They're not that big. They're like 15, so like 18 feet. Still, if you're a 15 to 18 foot lizard, you're hiding that well. Like, I've been to Komoto Island, right, where there are

12 foot long Komoto dragons. They couldn't hide if their life depended on it. They're not scared of anything. They eat water buffalo. They just sit there looking at you. licking their lips. If there's a 15-foot lizard living anywhere in Scotland, why is it so shy? Right. Right. Right. Well, also, I mean, okay, so it's pretty well accepted that Pleasiosaurus went extinct at the end of the Cretaceous period with many other dinosaurs. So we're talking 65, 66 million years ago. Right. As a result of the KT event.

I, you know, we've obviously been infatuated with this idea, just, you know, movies, Hollywood has been, certainly, that something that swims really deep in the ocean maybe could have been immune to the effects of this event that extincted most things that were living on Earth. What do you think of just that concept? No. So I guess the argument to be made is like the celacanth, right? Like we thought that went extinct 60-something million years ago, but it didn't. But that's because it's a deep water fish where things are constant, right?

Deep water in the ocean doesn't change. The pressure doesn't change. The temperature doesn't change. The light doesn't change. Nothing changes. So the idea of having, you know, when there was these great mass extinction events, the idea that any megafauna could survive it that wasn't way down deep in the ocean, you know, where it was basically protected is ridiculous.

Like it just, you know, there's a reason you don't have T-Rexes still walking around. And the pleasiosaur is not really any different. You know what I mean? It's right. It still would be one of those large animals that would be up near the sun. surface. So yeah, no, I think it's, I think it's pretty silly. Let me throw a little trivia out to you guys. How big, so the KT event is what they call the, that mass extinction that essentially wiped out all the living dinosaurs of the time. The fifth mass extinction. Without Googling it, how big would you guess

that the asteroid was that did that? And they believe wiped out 80% of all species, whether land or in the ocean. I think I read that it was like the size of a football field. It wasn't that big. No way. I'm going the size of the size of Texas. That's two very broad strokes. Neither of you were right.

Forest is closer to being right. It was fucking huge. It was six miles in diameter. Wow, that's fucking huge. It's certainly not the size of Texas. That is huge, but if you think that that's big enough. It's a West Hollywood. Yeah. But if you think that's

big enough to like wipe out the earth. That's pretty amazing. Six miles like we can I can jog that in not that much time. Do you know what I mean? Like the fact that if that hit in California, life in in Africa would die is insane. Like if you think about it, that's that's not that big on a global scale. Do you know what I mean? But the impact from that, the amount of energy brought in with that is unbelievable. Yeah. I mean, for it to get, I mean, I don't, it's crazy to think though, that something must have been different because that can't get through the atmosphere these days. The shit burns up. Like, if something that size came at the earth in this time period, would we be fucked too?

Yeah, of course. Only the little stuff burns up and disintegrates, Peter. If it was big enough, it would just come on in. I mean, put it this way. The Super Volcano, right, so Yellowstone, which people are probably getting sick of me working on it, obviously I'm working on a project. Are you on a Yellowstone project? Going very deep on it.

But the Super Volcano. that's underneath Yellowstone, which is nowhere near the biggest super volcano, right? Yeah. So that's why when you think of Yellowstone, there's mud pots and geysers everywhere. It's all being pushed up because there's a huge magma chamber underneath. It has erupted before. Yeah. If it were to erupt again, it's estimated that as far as New York City would be covered in three to seven inches of ash.

No way. Oh, that's amazing. From that. Yeah. It would cause a nuclear winter and most every living thing on land. would die. What of these things has to happen?

And the whole world. It has to. It's a certainty that it will. Yeah, it's just what time frame because they're all blips. A thousand, millions of years from now. Why would you bring children into this world when at some point

an asteroid or something's going to happen? Did you know this? Here's a fun fact I learned recently. The largest earthquake in history took place under Chicago. And it was like a 12-point something. I mean like...

Wow. Jesus. Yeah, like, that's crazy. And according to certain geologists, like, it is very overdue for another one. And, you know, they haven't had an earthquake in, like, known human history in the Midwest. But the largest one in history is actually from basically right underneath the city of Chicago. And if it happened again, like, the entire Midwest would be flattened from the rumblings. It's interesting that, Forrest, you and I experienced a very, very, very strong earthquake.

You know, since I've been in LA, there's been a lot of like 4.5s. Did you get that one last week? There was one last week, apparently. Did you guys feel it? I didn't feel it. I was in town. Yeah. I heard and saw everybody posting about it, though.

Gotcha. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you. But yeah, like a 4.5 will give you a little shake or, you know, whatever, 4-8. We went through, I believe, I believe it was an 8.1. Yeah. No, it was the largest or the second largest earthquake that year, I believe. We were like at the epicenter of it. Yeah, you should tell that story, Patrick.

That's pretty funny. Is this like where you're at the airport? Yeah, we've talked about it. But to me, what's so interesting is like if I was home asleep and that hit, there's a chance I would have died. But my heart would have stopped. But because I was with Yuba foods and we had just found Fern the Ferenh, the Ferenhandina Tortus, and we were walking through an airport on our way to go get some fucking screwdrivers first thing in the morning, it just didn't feel real.

I was like, who gives a shit? We had such a blaze attitude. It was pretty funny. Everybody was running around in such a mad panic, except for the chicken cart guy. And we were just like, this is funny. I don't know.

We were so blasé about the whole thing. We were just like, don't spill my drink. Like, I'm enjoying my day. Don't spill my drink. Shaking. Well, first, I got a question on a DM from a brosner that I thought was really good. Okay.

Let's do it. Ryan Hardy, who goes by the tan man. And I thought this is appropriate because you were telling me right before we started recording that the ivory-billed woodpecker was like officially deemed extinct? Yep, yep. Nearly two dozen species of birds, actually, while we're doing what's in the news, fish and other wildlife are all set to be declared extinct and removed from the endangered species list. That was released today by U.S. wildlife officials.

So this brings me to Ryan's question, which I think is great. Says, please, let me know if this is a dumb question. But how is it decided if an animal is truly extinct? No, it's a good question. I mean, because the Averyville-Booker hadn't been seen when we filmed two years ago. Yeah, it hadn't been seen in 70 years, 80 years. Right. So, like, what is like, okay, now it's on the list?

It's a good and complex and very convoluted question. question and answer. So the short, the shortest answer is when something has not officially been documented for 30 years and there has been a genuine scientific attempt to find it, then it gets declared extinct by the IUCN, the International Union for the Conservation of Nature. So they are the governing body that labels things extinct, extinct in the wild, critically endangered, endangered, vulnerable, so on and so forth. And so what happens is after 30 years, So they go, okay, the last time we saw, let's say the ivory-billed woodpecker, and this is not how this went officially. The last time we knew, without any doubt, you know, there's a video of a guy holding one, there's one in a cage, whatever it is.

After 30 years since then, if nobody's seen one and a group of scientists or a scientist has gone out and looked and been unsuccessful, then we can officially declare the animal extinct. But in the case of the ivory-billed woodpecker, and this is where it becomes confusing and convoluted, you know, hadn't been seen in 80 years officially, but every year six or 12 people say they've seen one, right? So every single year people are reporting it. So it stayed alive, quote unquote, you know, through sort of falsified sightings or not necessarily falsified, but rather non-confirmed sightings for this X number of years, right? And then on the flip side of that, you have things like the Fernandina Tortus, right? 115 years since one had been seen. And there had been multiple

as we know, expeditions to Isla Fernandina, but it was still technically listed as critically endangered. It wasn't even listed as extinct, even though there was only even one species. Basically because there's, what is there, 12 million species on the planet that we know about? No, no, way more than that. I can't remember of terrestrial animals.

And, you know, it's pretty hard to keep track. So it's like nobody was like doing the work that needed to be done to change the status of these animals. So, you know, with Extincter alive, with the show we did, that was one of the things that we sort of dug into loosely, and we never wanted to be insulting to scientists or governing bodies, but it was like, this is a mess. Like, there is no formula for this. There is no, like, this is how it should be to declare something extinct or not extinct, because it's just all over the place. It's like, people are

willy-nilly with the labels of like, yep, that's extinct. Nope, that's not extinct. Oh, that's critically endangered, even though nobody's seen one for 113 years and there's only one of them in history. Like, it's a mess. Like, it's an absolute fucking mess. Yeah. That's interesting. I was looking at a list of, you know, because you always hear about new species getting discovered. Yep. But like usually it's a, you know, a tiny variation of a beetle or whatever. And so I just wanted to see like what are some mammals that have been discovered in the last 10 years.

And, you know, obviously cool discoveries, but they're pretty much all. Small. What are they called? Well, not small, but like it's a bat that looks exactly like every other bat I've seen except something's different on the toe. Right, exactly. Yeah, it's all this like speciation. Oh, that's kind of, and so to talk about more ridiculous things in the sciences, right, this has become like a new thing, right? Because everybody wants to name a species. Speciation is convoluted, right? It's like how, you know, if something stays awake during the day and then that same animal, but living one mountain range over is completely

nocturnal, you know, are those different species? Well, they behave differently. They look identical. genetically they're the same, but they have different behavior. Is that grounds for speciation, you know, or is that just adaptation to the environment? And so this has become like this whole thing. So there's become this sort of race for advanced speciation where people are taking things and chunking it up more and more and more and being like, hey, nope, turns out there's 30 species of this exact same looking bad because where it lives, what it eats, what time of day it operates, you know, does it have an extra toe, does it have a longer tongue, whatever it is.

And it's kind of ridiculous because they can interbreed, you know, they're basically the same animal. They might have one thing that's different about them from one population to the other. But who doesn't, right? Like people in L.A. aren't the same as people in Santa Barbara, right? We're 90 miles apart, but there's a whole different vibe, right? But that doesn't mean that we're two different species. There's clearly speciation going on. And nobody's talking about it with humans, you know?

That would be very insensitive. But, yeah, so it's, I don't know. The whole thing's very messy. And it feels like there needs to be, you know, some sort of person or body that comes in and goes, here are the standards for extinction. Here are the standards for speciation. Stop being idiots. Like, stop just trying to, like, get more grants and funding and race, you know, race to get all these, like, things published.

Just do what's right. And nobody's done that. Nobody does that in any industry. It all boils down to the funding. Here's where my mind goes, though. Because I was looking at this list of the. 10 coolest mammals discovered since 2000. And it really was like probably the coolest one was a monkey that looked a little weird

that was discovered in the Democratic Republic of Congo. It's called a Lumula. It's actually pretty cool looking. But most of them were like a three-toed sloth or, you know, just something that was tiny bit different. But like, you know, we know what an elephant is. It's different than a hippo. They're different.

A monkey is different than an elephant. If there was going to be like some big one, it's just a creature that you've never even thought about drawing, you know, like a really crazy, cool thing. Yeah. First question is, could there be something like that? Like a whole new genre of animal that we haven't discovered? So you say yes to that.

If you had a gun to your head, where would it be hiding? Good question. So, okay, I'm not going to get too nerdy and sciencey here, but that's basically what the Sala was, right? There was this mystical unicorn creature in the animite mountains of Vietnam. All Western scientists said like bullshit. There's no unicorn creature there. You know, people drew it.

People said it existed. Everybody said bullshit. And then what the hell was the guy's name? I can't remember anymore. The guy we met in Vietnam at the cafe. I can't think of it. I can't think of it. Anyway, he goes in there, goes into the animites, meets with this prince or sultan or whatever

the hell he is. And the guy's, you know, villagers catch one. And he's like, oh, shit. it is real. You know, here is this. Right. And by the way, for those that don't know, the sala is a bovid, meaning it's related to a cow, you know, or a buffalo in the middle of this mountain range in very populous Vietnam that basically lives in the water that looks nothing like any other known cow or antelope or anything else. So these things do have.

And that was in 96, if I'm not mistaken, when we first described the salo properly. So not that long ago, not 10 years, but not that long ago. And that was in Vietnam, which, true, the Annamite Mountains aren't super populated, but Vietnam's fucking packed with people. You know, it's a, it is a overpopulated country. So that's my very long way of saying, yes, that could exist. I think what it would be would be a carnivore and, you know, a mammalian carnivore, something pretty scary because carnivores are smarter, right?

They're better at hiding. They're on top of the food chain, so they're smarter animals. And I think it could and probably does exist. and it does so in Papua New Guinea. It's the least biologically explored place in the world. It has tons of speciation, real speciation, not silly speciation like we were talking about. Tons of endemism, meaning animals that live there and nowhere else in the world. It's right on the Wallace line, which BTG told us about, you know, that line where you have all these weird animals mixing from Asia and Australia.

I totally think it could be there. I totally think there could be, you know, a hyena-like creature that's depicted in all these cases. cave paintings that people are scared of, blah, blah, blah, that's living in Papua New Guinea, that's super shy that nobody even knows about. Where do you think it would be? Oh, man. Probably living in, like, the sewers in New York. Have you guys ever seen the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

I mean, come on. Yeah, that could be something. That's a documentary. Yeah. That's a documentary. No, that Papua New Guinea stuff, is that the one we, like 10 podcasts ago? they made a pretty big discovery there with some kind of new species there. So they're all, like, isn't that one of the places where they're constantly discovering a shitload of like...

So it's impenetrable, just so you know, like the highlands of Papua New Guinea are pretty much impossible for people to get there on foot. So basically every single biological expedition that takes place there turns up like eight new species. And I'm making that number out. But it's like every single one they come back and they're like, hey, found these six months that nobody. that nobody's ever seen before or whatever. And not that long ago, they rediscovered the Pop-Win singing dog, or maybe it's called the Highland Singing Dog,

but it's basically like a dingo that's all white that lives way up in the mountains that they didn't really know if it was real or not. They didn't really know how many there were, and they put out some trail cameras up there that I think they got up there with helicopters, and they're like, oh, there's like a lot of these singing dogs up here. And this is like a large dingo.

This isn't like a small. shrew running around. Yeah. Yeah. So, man, that's fascinating. It's freaking rad, man.

I'm desperate to get there and do a proper long expedition. Patrick, what do you think? Where would it be? What would it be? Well, I just remember very vividly the very boozy podcast we did with BTG and he was just obsessed with this expedition to the Wallace line. Yeah.

And so, you know, but I will say, man, those animite mountains, well, there are sections of Vietnam that are incredibly overpopulated. I mean, that's some of the, you know, that's some of the, you know, of the most impassable terrain I've ever seen in my life. It's vast beyond your wildest belief. I mean, you spend the whole day hiking to get over a ridge, and then you look, and there's 14 more ridges in front of you. Right, that are each one taller than the previous one.

Right. Yeah. The people who live there in these very, very small villages, the hunters, you know, like the guy got lost when he found Sondong Cave, and it took them nine years or whatever to find it again. Right. And these people's sense of direction, you know, makes us look like idiots. So I don't know.

I feel like there could be something there. I think it's estimated there's like three or 400 tigers living in that mountain range and no one ever sees them. I mean, it's just incredible. They just discovered, by the way, there's a forest. You and I have gone trail running there, Fryman Canyon. Yeah. Yeah, I remember our trail runs there. Cool, cool spot right in between like West Hollywood and the valley of L.A.

And people go there all the time, you know, small babies walking around forest. and I know about this little backwoods track that you just don't see anybody. It's awesome. Yeah. And just discovered mountain lion living in there. Really? Really? Did no idea.

Yeah. That's awesome. Is that the one? Is that the trail where there's that painted up car back in there? Yeah. You passed by? Yeah, yeah. Dude, I've taken my dog there many times back when I lived over there.

Dude, I've been there with Christina and we were like running and having fun and we went late and it turned full night. And we just had, I just had my cell phone flashlight. Didn't have a second thought about. Could be a fucking mountain lion watching us right now. Yep. And they don't, and they, and they're never seen, you know? Like that's in downtown Los Angeles.

Sure, they've discovered it now. How long has it been there? How long, you know, it's amazing what animals can do when they don't want to be seen. Did you guys see the footage that came out? I think a Brosner sent it. Of the mountain lion that is like in front of someone's house. and their security camera is watching as like a mom and baby are coming down the street. Mountain Lion, it literally just like gets behind the bushes and, and totally like they don't

see it and they walk right past it, dude, but you can see it full on because the camera's behind and it's just totally, it's like they're fucking, they're five feet from this thing and he's just watching them go by and it's just like, holy shit, man. It's crazy. I was walking with Jess. We were in British Columbia and we were walking. walking on this trail. And I don't mean like we were doing one of like, you know, the forest Galante gnarly fucking middle of nowhere places. It was like one of those trails where there's

like little wooden bridges and like there's little like turnouts with a bench, you know, and like a little hand railing where you look over the creek. Yeah, it was like one of those spots. It was beautiful. Don't get me wrong. And we're walking through BC and there's, we're passing somebody every minute and a half to three minutes. It's like a busy Saturday afternoon, right, in British Columbia. And we're one. walking on this trail and Jessica goes, I think there's something in that bush. And I'm talking about 50 feet away from us, right? And there's people, you could see people in within, you know, down both sides of the trail, back behind us and in front of us, you know, there's, there's 25 people on the trail. And

she's like, I think they're saying that trail. And I literally brush her off because I know that you're not going to see any wildlife when there's that many people around, right? So she says this. There's like a picnic bench thing on the right-hand side and she's like overlooking the creek and she's pointing up to the left-hand side. We go like another 50 feet, do the little overlook and then turn around and go back and we're coming back and she's staring up in that corner, right, where she's just seen this thing that's watching us. And she stops, stand the trail and she goes, forest, there's something in that bush. And I look up, not brushing her off a second time. And the entire time there has been a mountain line lying down in that bush, 25 feet off the trail,

with, I'm not kidding, 200 people walking up and down this trail at any given part. And not one other person has seen it. And Jessica spotted it going down the trail. We've gone another hundred feet, turn around and come back, and it's still there, and it hasn't budged. And it was just literally sitting there, like, you know how cats do, like, on their front paws kind of looking out through the bushes, perfectly cryptic, not moving? And I was like, holy shit.

And I took a photo with my cell phone and you can't see a thing because it's so perfect. blended in. And sure enough, there was this juvenile mountain line just sitting in this bush, watching literally hundreds of people walk up and down this trail, and she was the only person that saw it. And I'm me, who's trained to look for these things, didn't even see it when she told me the first time, because I, like, disregarded her. That's fucking wild. You don't even know, man. They're right there. You don't even know. It's funny that, you know, like animals that live in basically a killer be killed food chain, unlike us, um,

they're so, you know, hiding is such a fucking priority, right? And they've developed these incredible skills to hide. You ask a human to hide, they're going either under the bed, pulling, pulling the sheet up over their face.

Or just like standing in a closet. We suck at hiding. The standing curtain move where you pull the curtain over, but your feet are sticking out the bottom of the curtain. It's a clash. What's your guys go to a hiding spot in your house when you want to scare your significant other? Man, it's been a minute. I don't do that.

She gets very, very mad. I made the mistake once. Oh, my God. A couple times. I love a good scare, man. I'm into it. Yeah. She gets furious.

Not happening in this house. There's like a good amount of pranks that take place in my house. It's a lot of fun. I'm assuming you propagate 90% of the pranks? 99.9. I think all of them, actually. I don't think they've ever gone in real. My favorite one I ever did, my favorite one I've ever did, is we got a brand, so we have Cox Cable,

right, which is, it's terrible. It's awful. Nobody should, first of all, nobody should have cable because it's terrible. But secondly, we have Cox Cable, right? So every three months without fail, our internet goes out and, you know, something's wrong. We need a new remote replacement, whatever. Anyway, the Cox guy comes to the house and he goes, you know, your cable box is fried. Lost everything you've ever DVR, you know, oh, that's cool.

you're on TV, but you never get to watch your own shows ever again. Let me give you a new cable box, right? And I'm like, great. So he pulls out this kind of like fancy high-tech cable box. It's called the contour box from Cox, right? Ooh, he plugs it in. Sounds high tech. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. It's like Windows 98. It's killing it. But, yeah, so he plugs in the contour box and it comes with a fancy new remote. And on this remote, we all have this now. You talk to it, right? You say, find the office. And it finds the office, right?

but you have to hold down a button. So we get this new thing. We've just gotten Alexa like three months prior. So Jessica's like used to talking to electronics now. And I tell Jessica that all you have to do is say contour and then what you want. Right. And so all night, the first night we're sitting there. And I've got the remote down by like my thigh.

And she's going contour, volume up. And I'm like looking down on my right and like turning the volume up. Right. And then she's going contour, channel 33. And I'm like looking down and hitting three three. right? And eventually, I go to the kitchen to grab a snack or something, and I hear Jessica going, contour, channel 12, contour, channel 12,

contour, channel 12. And she's like screaming at the TV, and the clicker's like sitting on the couch, and I am just, I burst into laughter. I'm rolling on the floor. And she's like, what's wrong with the contour? And it doesn't have voice activation. That's a good one.

Oh my God. She was so embarrassed. It was so fucking funny, man. I'm rolling on the ground laughing at this prank that I've set up all night. I've always been into a good prank. And like when you're a kid or you're in your teens or even early 20s, like it's much more about shock and awe, right? Oh, yeah. You got to go into someone's bedroom while they're sleeping with a mask and a knife.

Like it's just go big. I've really gotten into this small prank, the subtle, subtle, subtle prank. It's almost like the hipster mumblecore version of a prank. I literally pulled this one off last night and it was fucking hilarious. We're in bed. We just got into bed and Christina gets up to like go, like, I don't know, go do something in the bathroom, brush your teeth or whatever, right? But the room's dark. And so I just, I just changed my orientation so that my feet were up by where my head's supposed to be and my head was done by what the feet are supposed to be.

And I'm just waiting and I'm just like biting my lip. I'm like, this is so great what you're doing. This is genius. She comes out of the bathroom, light goes off, she gets in the bed, she's kind of settling in, rolls over, puts her arm around my feet. And I can kind of feel like a pause and then she's kind of feeling around. But like she just doesn't know what's going on because it's pitch black. And then I just lost it and started laughing. She was like, I was so confused.

Like I thought your head had gotten smashed or something. Yeah, but see, no subtle. jokes, they're so funny. They're simple. It's clean. It's good, clean, fun. Oh, man, I love it. Can I tease something before you get into the next thing, Forrest? Yeah, sure, please. Retep.

Yeah. Forrest and I have planned a prank on you, mate. Oh, yeah. You're not going to know when it's coming, and we're going to film it, and we're going to release it, and it's going to be, it's going to go viral big time. It's going to be nice. You're not going to enjoy it. Fuck off.

This is how I feel about that. Do you just do a sound effect for us queuing up that we're going to prank you? Yeah, I'm not going to be happy when you pull the prank on me. If it scares me, I'm liable to get physical. Just know that. We do. I don't really have control over it. You could not take both of us on.

One of us, you have a very good shot. Both of us. No, I agree. Pat fights dirty. I know that for fact. Yeah. He's a sand thrower, for sure. Yeah.

I don't mean like. Sand thrower. Yeah, for sure. Spitting your eyes. Yeah. Totally. I don't mean, I don't mean that I'm going to like consciously make an effort to attack you. I just mean like if you're in the vicinity and I get startled, I'll be flailing about and my limbs are heavy kind of thing, you know.

I like that. One of the best. I like the word. I just think of pranks now. I might have told the story before. One of my favorite pranks I ever pulled. And then we will get into. to the next thing.

In college. We told one story. That's fun. Whatever. Who cares? I love it. In college, this is before the days of, you know, caller ID and smart everything. Our buddy, who is annoying the shit out of us, we put up a posting for like this really fancy

stroller for sale in Hawaii. And we put it on Craigslist. And we're like, hey, you know, but only call between the hours of this and this, which was, of course, the middle of the night in California. in California. And, you know, we put it up and we listed this, like, $300 stroller for, like, $55 and brand new out of the box. And so our buddies, our buddy's fast asleep and we published the listing. And his phone is just blowing up constantly.

And we're listening through the door, giggling, like, little kids. And eventually, like, we hear his phone go again. And we just hear him go, I don't have a fucking stroller. You're yelling into his cell phone. It's so good. Dude, I got, so I got, I was on the bad end of a prank that I wasn't even involved with back when I was working my first career job in Chicago. This guy was seeing this girl in the office or that worked for the company. They were in separate offices, but somebody had figured out how to text people's phones from other people's phone numbers.

Okay. So like, you could spoof the caller ID. And so somebody did some fuckery and like busted these two's relationship out, seemingly coming from one of their phones to like one of their superiors or something. And because I was tech savvy and the guy who was on the receiving end of the quote unquote prank, like just relentlessly accused me of doing it. I come in. The IT's got my computer. They've searched the whole thing. Holy shit.

It was bananas. The guy was like standing in front of me. He's like, just tell me if you did it. Dude, just tell me if you did it. I'm like, I did not do it. I was just like, it was not me. And my boss is like, they were like, but it was wild, dude. And I was just like, but this is great.

Now I know that this can be done. So I obviously figured out how to do it and started pranking all of my friends with it. Good to spook that caller ID. Dude, that's a dangerous prank to be able to. text. So you could text someone from someone else's number? That's right, dude. That's right. And yeah. Is that hacking into their phone? No, no. It's just, it's just, you can spoof call or ID. It's like not secure. It's still not for this day. You can still do it.

So talking about pranks, it's now officially October, which means it's Halloween. Halloween is coming up. We all know that fruit gushers and whoppers and thin mince, I think it was, are the best candies out there, junior minish, whatever. What God. Peter, that is not a food group for, unless you're from the Midwest, that is not something that you get to eat every day in your lunchbox.

It's in the same food group as bread, mate. But my point is, I think it's time. I think I know what time it is. Do you know what time it is? For what? It's about a while. How do you feel about the stinger

taking your, uh, used to do the drum roll and everything. Now it's just the sting. Do you feel like something's been taken from you? I like it more because I used to try and come up with like a new thing each time. Like I'd change the way I did the drum roll or I'd get like right up in the camera. I was out of ideas. Like as soon as that stinger was made, I was so relieved.

I was like, am I just going to smash my genitals against the camera screen? Like what am I going to do to be original at the next battle royale? So the timing was actually fantastic. Dick. Mitch talks of Mim K. Mim K, I believe, is a guy's name who made the Stinger. Great guy. Hits me up on Discord all the time.

Love you, man. I love it. Patrick, what are we got? What's the B.R. I got one, but real quick, I forgot. I had this Brosner DM from Patreon and friend of the podcast, Jonathan Porostowski. Yeah. Because we were doing those little one-liner dad jokes about each other last night.

Oh, yeah. He's got one. He says, joke, Colin. What do you call an overweight man with a taco in his mouth, diddling a monkey? What do you call that for us? Retef? I don't know.

Yeah, Retef on a normal Saturday night. Oh, my God. I love it. And it's true. You really can't beat it. Thank you, Jonathan. Here we go. Good dad, joke.

All right. In the theme of Halloween, this is a little different. Okay, a little different. Okay. You have to build a Halloween costume. that you are going to wear, it has to be wearable, RETEP. You can't wear herpes. You cannot.

That is a fact. You've got a head. All right, you got a head mask that's going to go on your head. Then you have a suit, right? It's going to be, it's going to go over your whole body. It's going to cover your whole body, the suit of an animal. Okay. Then you've got one prop that you can carry with you.

Okay. All three have to be from the animal kingdom. none of them can be from the same animal. What props do animals carry? Okay. It's not that the animals carrying the prop. You can bring a Norwalk tusk if you want. Yeah, whatever you want.

Whatever you want. Okay. Now you're building a costume, but here's the thing. The three of us are going to go trick-oh-treating. Yeah. And who's going to get the best candy? Who's going to get the full-sized candy bar? That golden goose of the full-size Snickers.

That is only something you heard about but never saw. So only one person. He who trick or treats the best shall win this battle royale. And we all know that you only get the best treats if you have the best Halloween costume. Exactly, exactly. Okay. That is true. What do you mean is that true?

Of course that's true. I mean, every time I've gone trick-or-treating, I believe the candy was distributed evenly amongst the trick-end or treaters. Don't be so 2021. Okay. That is not how it works. When I live in a house where trick-or-treatingers... treating has come, I will turn children away if they have bad costumes. I'll see, get out of here.

That is nonsense? Forrest, is that because you got turned away when you tried to trick or treat when you came to the US and you were 18? Do you remember that story? And I was, when it's men in black, I just went in a bad suit. Yeah. That's exactly why. All right. I'm going to go first here. I'm going to go first. And I'm going to start with my prop. Okay. I'm going for kind of a scary costume. And so I want my prop to be perceived as a scary weapon, right? If you go as

an axe murder, you bring a little plastic axe. Sure. So I'm going scary. I, in my hand, I'm going to have this sort of corkscrewed three foot long staff. I'm going to take a duck's penis as my proud. Wow. That's something. Okay. I know exactly

what you're talking about. I have. Yeah, it's a mess. Yeah, a creature rolls up to you and has this three foot long corkscrewed thing in his hand and is like, trick or treat? Yeah, right. You're going to treat, you're going to treat that creature.

My God. Okay. Very nice. Very nice. Pat's going to be carrying around a penis. That'll, yeah. Yeah, that's correct. You go, Peter, you go.

That's correct. I've been saying that ever since you said. That is correct. That is a lot of fun. Okay. I'm going to go, I mean, I'm going to go with my head first. And, you know, scary is a, is a strange move. I don't think that's going to get you.

It's not like the guys are coming to the door and giving out the candy. It's always the moms, and they want to see cute. And there is nothing cuter than a barn owl's head and face. Okay, very good. Oh, my God.

What? What's wrong with that? If you gave me 30,000 guesses as to what you're going to pick for your head, I wouldn't have gotten it. Never. I don't know why you went. bar. It is cute. And you wearing it sounds awfully cute. I got to be honest. And they're cheap because they're

everywhere. Very common. All right. I'm going for a different approach. I am going to attempt to recreate something that has some familiarity with people already. So they don't look at me and go, what are you? What a mess of a thing you've put together? They're going to be like, oh, I get that costume. And I'm going to do that through the animal kingdom. Okay? She's pretty clever. So in order to do that, I'm going to start with the head of a Red River hog. Okay, okay. Got to look this up, got to look this up. That's okay, you can do that.

Red River hog. It's got a look to it. When put on the body of Kenny the chimpanzee is going to feel very orcish. Okay, I've put together a nice orange-coated, this chimp-like body, this Red River hog head, and it's got a very orkish look. And I'll circle back to my prop. Okay.

So Forrest and I are both going kind of spooky scary. Retep, you're going straight up cute with your barn owl head. What's next? Well, I mean, I'm going to stick with this theme because cuteness gets the king-sized bars. It's a fact. I'm going with the body of a hamster. nice little chubby, just a round.

I'm going to look almost like a snowman with a really cute face. And then they'll have some color with a nice white hamster belly. I'll tell you what, if you went to the furry convention dressed like that, you would certainly get fucked. What do you think Halloween? You'd be getting laid. I think Halloween is. Hampton body is just a furry convention for kids. I like where you're going.

Now, here's the thing for us. I do too. Yeah. This is what he always shoots himself in the foot. his last pick. Because right now he's doing very well. Very well. Yep. Okay. I'm not going to... We'll have to stay tuned to see how you ruin this. All right. So I've got my staff, my mallard duck penis.

I'm going to go with my head, because I'm going scary, is going to be the head of a sarcastic fringe head. Okay. Very nice. Terrifying fish. Opens its mouth like super wide. Got a bunch of teeth. It's very colorful. It looks like something straight out of a nightmare. I want the head of a sarcastic fringe head fish. And then for the body, I'm going to have a pretty elaborate suit of a... I want the body of a bobbett worm. So sort of like...

Yeah, like an elegant wedding dress. I'll have sort of a trail. So you guys will have to sort of hold that up so it doesn't get dirty as we go house-to-house. That's very nice. So that's my full picture. I feel like that's very, very scary. It's an obtainable look. Yeah.

I might do it this year. It's obtainable, whatever the fuck that means. All right. All right. I think it's me, right? I don't actually remember. For the last one? He doesn't know how to do a snake draft anyway, by the way.

He's fucked up several times. No, I don't know. So it's you. It's you. It's you. Well, I mean, it can't be all cuteness. It needs to be, it needs to have a little fucking gore, a little pizzazz.

So, Patrick called it. You were going to fuck it up. I'm not fucking up. I'm not just, if I go around as a 38-year-old man dressed in an owl head and a gerbil body, people are going to think that I'm trying to molest their family or something. No, you're going to rub genitals in the Sheraton Hotel bathroom with Minnie Mouse at the convention. That's a fact.

The Sheridan Hotel, but. And you know who's going to be watching is Papa Pee, because I'm going to have his severed head in my hand. He's an animal, and he will be, I'll be carrying his head as a barn owl hamster gerbil-bodied, mammal creature with pets open-eyed, severed head with the blood and the esophagus and all the entrails hanging down. Oh, okay. I have free time. All right.

Well, that's something. No, it's getting a little pizzazz, little scary. In the words of Will Smith, he doesn't done it again. y'all. He's done done again. I did do it again. Oops. All right, well, that's a mess.

I have the head of a red river hog on Kenny the chimp's body making me have a very orcish look. But the prop that I'll carry is what's really going to tie it together. Because I'm going to have the tail of an aneclosaurus,

which, if you remember what those are, they're the dinosaurs with a big mace-like tail. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. With the big spike ball on the end. I'm going to carry that around like a mace. I'm going to look like a character out of Lord of the Rings. People are going to be like, oh, I get it. I get what you did here.

They're going to reward me with many candy bars, full-sized Snickers, and I think that's how I win. Cuteness wins with a little bit of spazazazazzo. But you, in your situation, you've murdered a human. I mean, it could be just made out of cake. I don't know. It doesn't have to actually be your head. It made out of cake.

They don't know it's real. All right. Well, Brousner's way in. Let us know who won the Halloween Battle Royale. Is it Patrick's sarcastic, fringe-headed creature on a bobbot-worm's body, which is, honestly, this would be a good one to draw people. With the prop of a duck's penis, which, by the way, everybody listening to this, press pause. Go in Google Image, duck penis, if you haven't done that, circle back. Yeah, please. Because you need to pause while you're looking at. looking at something. You can't keep listening. Shut up, Retep. Just pause.

Speaking of shut up, Retep, is it Peter's barn owl-headed hamster-bodied creature that's carrying Patrick's head around where that would have been really cute until the end? It makes noises like that. My Red River hog-headed chimpanzee body that looks very orkish, who is carrying the mace-like tail club of an anachleosaurus. Let us know, weigh in. Leave us a review. I don't think we've asked people to do that in a long time.

Like, I don't even know where you leave reviews anymore. Maybe on Yelp. Leave us a nice Yelp review. Yeah. Peter, did I do that? I mean, just real quick, though. Apple Podcasts. The tail of an anachleosaurus was estimated to weigh about 50 pounds, so I hope you've been working out because...

I got cheap strength. I'm good. Are you going to carry Pat's butt tails with a 50-pound mace in your hand? These are the questions. These are the questions. Hey, Peter. Did the Taco Bell video drop? yet?

Yeah, it's on Patreon. How to do? Do people like that? Oh my God, yeah. It's got tons of comments and... I got like 30 DMs from people saying like it's their favorite thing we've ever done.

Really? We didn't want to get sued by Patreon so we had, we were by Taco Bell so we had to put it on Patreon. But it's a lot of fun. We actually get outside the studio, go on a little adventure, make some trouble in downtown Santa Barbara.

Head over to the Patreon. if you want to see more shit like that. Yep. We got two more studio bonus pods coming out at the Patreon next couple weeks. What is the next disgusting thing that we have to eat or taste or have a lot of? Let us know. Oh, no, this is great. We're doing this.

We are doing this episode. Billy Weigel, who's one of our patrons and big friend of the podcast, he said, here's a live show idea. So I think maybe we do a live at some point soon. Yes, we have to do. He says, we watch the Rio Eppoporos episode of Extincter Alive. Okay. With commentary, right? So this is something we'll have to do in the studio or we could even just do it in your garage there, Forrest.

Yep. He says, but most importantly, every time Forrest says Rio Epiporos, you either chug half your beer or take a shot. Oh, boy. We need some bottles. If we do that as a live, we need everybody on the live. to have a bottle ready to go. 100%.

And whoever, if there's, first of all, there's no way I'll make it to the end of the episode. Yeah, me neither probably.

No, this sounds tremendous. I'm all in. I love this idea. He's like, there's no way I'm going to be conscious by the end of it.

But it sounds tremendous. Let's do it. Yeah. Let's do it in the next studio session. Like a power hour. Yeah, let's do it. I love it.

Not a long time. And it was a mess. Yeah. If you're, if you're only listening to the audio this podcast. Hey, there's a video version. It's on YouTube. Go to the wild timespodcast.com forward slash info to find the link to that and the link to everything else in a nice little list for you there. Check us out on Patreon, support the show. We do four bonus podcasts a month and a bunch of other shit.

And that is at patreon.com forward slash Wild Times Pod. Wild Times Pod for all of the socials to find us and guys I got one more dad joke submitted by Daniel Chiquad, a patron how did the octopus beat the Great White? I don't know, how? He was well armed.

Goodnight. Nice. Oh, Zing. Nice job. Yeah. It's a nice closing sentiment, by the way. This is fucking great. Puts me in a good mood, baby.