Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #79 - Mysterious Creatures Premiere, Rare Arizona Monsoon Shrimp, & Costa Rica Breakdown

Episode Date: October 18, 2021

Forrest Galante & the Wild Times crew are back this week with thrilling tales from Costa Rica, and more! Forrest gets deep on his new show Mysterious Creatures (!!SPOILIER ALERT!!) and the gents talk a bit of news. Finally, the boys read a brostener DM and things go swimmingly during the battle royale. Enjoy! We love you! Patreon @ https://patreon.com/wildtimespod All the links @ https://thewildtimespodcast.com/info  

I forgot how to do this. It's been so long. He's dying of COVID. What is wrong with your voice and face and general demeanor? What's wrong with my face? My face looks great. Play the jingle so we can start the episode. All right, here we go. Wild Times. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's here. We're doing it. Riverside. Not in the studio, unfortunately. Wild Times, episode number 80. It's like a midday episode. We don't do those very often.

No. Is that why I sound like I have a COVID sinus infection? You're a mess. You're a disaster. We're going to hope that you talk as little as possible on this episode. You bring nothing to the table. Fair enough. Anyway, this is the Wild Times episode number 80. That means there are 79 other awesome episodes. Some in a studio, some eating Taco Bell, some on Riverside, some in my living room. It's all over the place. It's a good time. It's lots of fun. It's the greatest show on the air. Arguably the number one show in the world depends who you argue with. Number, what was it, Patrick?

14 show in Algeria or something like that. I mean, that's old news, man. No, we were the number four comedy show in Algeria a month ago. I bet we're up to three by now. Woo! Yeah. I am here both Forrest Galante. I'm the broologist.

Joining me is the lovely platted lumber sexual Patrick DeLucah, the broducer. How are you? Good. We've missed a week. It's back. we'd always said from the beginning, after 79 weeks, we're going to take a one-week break and go to Costa Rica. And that is what... That's what we did.

It's happy. I'm happy to be back. Let's get into it. My liver hurts. My liver hurts from it. And as always, the amorphous blob that is our crokey voiced intellectual of the pod, if you will, the professor himself, retep. How are you, retep? I'm good.

it's a little jarring that Pat is like hulking in front of the camera. He's so much bigger than the two of us on the camera that I'm kind of scared. I like it. Your hat is dated. Do you know that? It's like you're wearing an NSYNC hat right now. What does your hat even say? Variant Training Lab, because I work out, bro.

Oh, okay. He's promoting things on the podcast without approval, by the way, producer. That's, oh, shit. Semi-accurate. We're going to have to put a blur over that. It's going to be blurred, and I'm going to blur his mouth and bleep it when he just said the name. Catch it. Catch it.

All right, well, we're back. Just blur his whole head. Do it. That'll take ages. We went to Costa Rica, and it's a big head. And, boy, there was a lot of fun to be had. It was Mitchell's Bachelor Party. There was a little bit of alcohol involved, a lot of shenanigans.

Yeah, it was a good time, right? Yeah, I mean, Mitch, Mitch Long, friend of the show, camera, and Buddy on Extincter Alive. Oh, is he featured in your new show for us? Not as much, but occasionally, yeah. Okay. Well, we'll get into that because you premiered yesterday on Discovery Plus. Yep, that's huge.

But let's talk about Costa Rica. Let's talk about the first night. The first night. The first night was, it was a treat. So we get in, right, we land in San Jose. We take the tour bus. It takes us to like 7 p.m. Not tour bus.

We had like a private bus to get to the rental house. We get there and the house is freaking rad. It's big house, swimming pool, overlooking the ocean, Costa Rica. We're like, this is amazing. But it's in the middle of nowhere, right? It's like, no, it takes 30 minutes from there to town. Right. So I talked to the guy who sent everything up and I'm like, hey, look, like we don't have a rental car.

You know, I've been to this part of Costa Rica before. Can we get some golf carts? He's like, yeah, no problem. You know, golf carts will get you to the store that's down the road. and the only rule is don't take the golf carts on the highway. And I'm like, of course. The last thing we would do is take golf carts on a highway. So it's like, great, no problem.

I'll have two golf carts here in 30 minutes. 30 minutes later, two golf carts show up. Start playing some beer pong, some beer die, all those kind of games. About 9 p.m. rolls around and we're like, look, we got to get out of this house. Like, we just got to Costa Rica. We kind of spend the night here. So we get in the golf carts and everybody, I'm the only one who's been to that region before. And everybody's like, well, where are we going?

I'm like, we're going to Haco. and like I think jq Googles it on his phone and he's like wait that's like six miles down the highway and I'm like yeah of course like how else do you get there he's like well he said don't take the golf carts shut up get in the golf carts everybody's like no no no I'm like shut up getting the golf carts so we get in the golf carts I'm driving one Johnny's driving the other and we're racing and it's just two guys racing golf carts down these side roads of Costa Rica and Johnny nearly rolls one of them I mean it's just like it's just like this huge thing we get to the highway and I'm like like, all right, follow me.

Just merge onto a highway that is pretty similar to the 101. Cars are beeping at us. Lights are flashing. And I'm like, screw it, here we go, like 12 miles an hour down the highway. Are you driving in the shoulder or in the lane? It's like half and half. There's no real shoulder on a Costa Rican highway. So it's just like the one and a half foot of concrete off the sideline.

And yeah, so we're driving cars or hooting. It takes us like, when we're still racing, by the way. It takes us like 20 minutes, 30 minutes of highway time to get to town. Nightmarish. And we're like, all right, we made it. Like no cops, nothing. We're solid. And so we pull off, we're getting into Haco.

Haco is just this wild place, right? And as we pull off into Haco, the heavens open up and it just starts dumping. I mean torrential rain downpour. And we're in all open golf carts. So we're just getting soaked, head to toe. This is before going to any bars or clubs. Oh, yeah. No, we're on our way there.

And, you know, I'm, myself and Johnny, like, normal people that go to the tropics, and you guys are not included in these two are wearing, like, shorts, T-shirts and flip-flops. And then there's guys in, like, skinny jeans and snug shirts and white sneakers. And it's like, well, you brought this on yourself. So these, so the guy, look, who did that? Just give me a name of someone that wore skinny jeans and, like, a tight t-shirt. Joshua Clay. He's, like, Mitch's buddy from high school. He's exactly what you think.

He wears, like, cuts shirts and, like, ripped skin. skinny jeans and like the shirt color and the sneaker color are 100% of the time the same color he's that guy you know what I'm talking about yeah yeah so he's like I'm gonna to I'm gonna go out in Haco Costa Rica so I'm gonna dress like a metrosexual from Raleigh North Carolina to pick up chicks presumably is that what he's thinking yeah yeah 100% got it and you know Johnny and I are there in like dirty fishing t-shirts with baggy shorts and we're like yeah we've been to the tropics we know how this works you know not that's not that's that's too good guys in serious relationships

who aren't single. So it's like, yeah, I'll put my cargo shorts on to go to the club. And you know, Bougie, he's all knees out there. Yeah, exactly. And we pull into Hocko. Is that what you call him Buggie? Yeah.

We pull into Hocko, go to the club. It's dumping. We're there until like 2.30, 3.30 in the morning. It's like this illegal bar because they're supposed to be a 10 p.m. curfew. So every time the cops walk by, they go, the music turns off. And the doors are closed.

and then five minutes later, their music goes back on and it's all going off again. And we're there till like three in the morning. We're like 2.30 in the morning. We're like, all right, great. Like everybody's tank. Time to go home. Get in the golf carts. Load up.

Head back out. Make it about two miles down the six mile freeway. And my golf cart goes, do, do, do, do stops on the highway. It's out of battery. It's been blinking low battery since we left. I'm like, okay, this is good. So we stop. Everybody starts pushing.

We're pushing one goal. cart while attempting to tow it using two tied together belts and a t-shirt. And we pull off... Oh, man. We pull off at the only sort of... You know, it's not like the U.S. where there's exits. There's like little homes and stuff. We pull off at the first establishment that we see, which takes us about 30 minutes to get

there. Pull off. Still dumping rain, by the way. We're soaked, covered in mud. Josh Clay has got his white sneakers ruined. Good for him. He deserved it. Pull off.

Bang on this guy's door. It's about three in the morning now. 30 in the morning. This guy comes out sleepy-eyed. He seems more dopey than Retep does currently. And he's like, Ola, you know, like, what do you want, basically? Like, why are you waking me up? And I'm like, hey, can we plug our golf cart in? And he like grudgingly says yes and goes back to bed. And we just spend two hours sitting on this guy's front porch until the sun came up. And then the cart we thought was charged enough to make it back and turned out it was. Okay. By the way, I mean, What a fucking legend that guy is like, can you imagine Retep?

Let's say you just heard knock, knock, knock, and you heard a cacophony of drunk voices outside your front door at 2.30 a.m. What are you doing? I'm getting my gun and probably like a knife and I'm just calling the cops. I'm not even going to the door. Yeah. Check my ring first to watch the shenanigans go down live. Maybe talk to him through the ring.

Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, exactly. He didn't have a ring camera on his tin room. What a nice guy, though, man. It was awesome. He was super cool. He was very confused when he opened his door, and there were six soggy wet gringoes standing there with a golf cart plug.

Right. Imagine the reverse. Six Costa Rican show up at your door at 2.30 in the morning. I'd be unbelievably confused and probably also let them plug it in. So it all worked out. That was night one, and that really set the tempo for the entire week. It was a good time. Talk to me a little bit about, this is a wildlife show.

I'm sure you guys did something that involved nature in Costa Rica. But I need to know a little bit about what a nightclub in Hako Costa Rica is like. Is it mostly tourists that are in there? No, in fact, it would be mostly prostitutes that are in there. Yeah. Understood. Uh-huh. Yeah, it's fun.

How do you know the prostitutes? Oh, they make it very apparent. Okay. Got it's soliciting actively. It's a lot of fun, actually. So the two married guys, you know, like I said, that Johnny and I are sitting in the corner in our cargo shorts drinking gin and tonics

while the Josh Clay's of the world are trying to grind on prostitutes with Funhouse Mirror boobs. And it's, you know, it's kind of fun because it's this mix of, like, tourists. And, like, I ended up spending half the night chatting to this Danish couple that were super cool guy and girl. They were about 21 years old,

and they were just cruising around. But it's like this weird mix of tourists and then a couple, like, very wealthy Costa Ricans that are on vacation in this area, and then just a gaggle of prostitutes. Like, you just see, and when I say they make it apparent, it's not like, oh, she's attractive. Do you think she's a lady of the night?

She walks up to you with these like double F, you know, fun house mirror boobs, and it completely see through whatever it happens to be. No nipple pasties or anything. You know, it's just like everything's on display. And they're like, hey, you want a party? And I'm like, not even a little bit. Yeah.

Yeah, but there's something about it. Like in Vegas, you know, I don't go to clubs or anything, but like usually when I go to Vegas maybe once a year, there would be a group of my friends that, like, wants to go into a club. And then like there's a couple of us that'll just stay out. Gamble will go to the, I like the bars that are in the casinos. Right. You know, like the center bars or whatever. But after two, three in the morning, they just flood in, dressed immaculately, you know, really nicely dressed. But you just know, because they come right up.

And you're like, well, no. woman's ever done this, so I'm guessing. Correct. So we did, you know, Mitchell, Mitchell's a great guy. The last thing he's ever going to do is cheat on his fiance, and he had no interest in doing that. So, me being the good friend, I am, I offered 10 different girls, $10 to harass him. And when I say harass, I use the word flirt, and they went full harassment.

So it was really a treat because he's such like a stiff guy to begin with around women. You know, he's very uncomfortable. comfortable. And every time a prostitute would come up with me, to me, sitting at the bar with Johnny, I'd give her $10 and point at Mitchell and say he's the guy. And then just leave that open to interpretation. So it was really funny watching Mitch. He's like on the dance floor. And then like some girl dances starts dancing with him. And he's like, yeah, yeah. Oh shit. And he like figures out what's going on. And then she kind of chases him around the bar for five minutes. And then and then he, you know, hides and goes to the restroom and she leaves. It was, it was a wonderful. wonderful source of entertainment for the night. I mean, I'm sure Ashley, Mitch's fiancé, the second he said Forrest is coming to the Bachelor party, she's like, okay, great, you're going to be really drunk and he's going to probably pay prostitutes to harass you. Yeah.

She couldn't have predicted the golf cart episode, though. No, no one could have. No one could have. But, yeah, no, it was a really good time. It was lots of fun. Happy to be home. Any sort of nature adventures? You go catch some snakes or any.

anything like that, see some pumas? We didn't do too much. There was some really cool rock iguanas hanging out around the house and the pool. And of course, you know, I had to catch a couple. So, you know, in my younger years, I would have taken one of those and maybe like put it in the bed of Josh Clay, the hipster guy from L.A. But because I didn't want to harass the iguana, I didn't did nothing of the sword. I just sort of fed him and played with them a little and showed everybody how neat they were. But no, that was kind of it.

It was mostly about the booze. Sure. Now, you've been to Costa Rica before. I've never been, people talk about it a lot, that it's a really amazing place to go. Have you been into the jungle or did you mostly do like beach and coast stuff? Well, the cool thing about the Pacific side of Costa Rica is it butts, the jungle butts right up against the ocean. So I've had the fortune of doing both, even though I've never been central. I've been into the cloud forest a little bit, but, you know, like the last time I was there, which was much more interesting than this time when it comes to the stuff that we talk about and do, I would go every night I'd walk up the creek that spilled out into the ocean and find all kinds of things.

I found Rhino Clemmy's, a central American box turtle. I found a bunch of fertilants, which are the venomous pit vipers, eyelash vipers. We found boas. It's just awesome. Tons of red-eyed tree frogs. It's just a beautiful place. an incredible jungle. I love Costa Rica. It's an amazing country. I was planning a trip there years ago, and we didn't end up going, but we were going to go into the jungle, stay at some place that was

advertising that you go. You do these night walks to look for jaguars. And so I started reading about it, and you know, you see in a lot of ads like Black Panther, you know, what looked like Black Jaguars. Oh, interesting. But apparently they're actually extant. and there's like very, very few Jaguars left in Costa Rica. Oh, interesting. I didn't know that. I mean, I knew there were Jaguars in Costa Rica, but I did not know the abundance of them. What is it just super overdeveloped?

Is that like, do you think that's why they're mostly extinct? No, not really. I mean, why would they be so low in numbers there? I don't know. I suppose probably just pressure on them. It's not an overdeveloped place. I mean, you know, as you drive, you look out and see tons and tons. tons of beautiful jungle.

I don't know, probably just pressure, poaching and hunting. I'm leaving a space for Retepp to say something here. Yeah, he's not going to. He's sleeping. You guys told me not to talk. Good God. So what is wrong with you? Are you sick?

No, there's nothing wrong with me. Do I seem sick? It's the crack of noon, Patrick. Your voice sounds insane. I don't know, man. It's just, you know, as you age, you get things start happening. inside of your body. I don't know what it is, man.

I can't help it. Stop, stop, you know, what's the word? Harassing me about my, uh... What's the word? Harassing is not a very articulate word, sir. You should have to search for that one. Fuck off. You know, stop being agists, you son of a bitches.

I'm the oldest one here. Well, we kind of buried the lead. Forrest, big series premiered last night on Discovery, Plus, mysterious creatures with Forest Galante. Yeah. Good episode. It's a mouthful. Have you guys seen the poster that Discovery put out?

I have not. No. Oh, my God. For anybody listening, I'm not very tech savvy, so I don't know how to pull it up. It's, uh... Yeah. Oh, yeah, you look like fucking, uh, Indiana Jones. I don't know what's going on with this poster.

I didn't make it. I can tell you that much. It's kind of cool. They picked one where my face looks like. had half a stroke, which is most unfortunate. I swear my face doesn't look that dead on the left side. It doesn't look that dopey. But yeah, you know, it's a poster.

It's out there. Yeah. And, yeah. You know, they're trying to make you look a little... First of all. Okay, now I'm looking at it full res. Yeah. It's bad.

Did they Photoshop your face to make it a little skinnier? I don't... I think they may have. No, I don't think so. Make it skinnier? Oh, you mean at the bottom? Oh, listen, of course you wouldn't think so. No, of course.

No, I think it looks dead. It's not the skinniness. I think it just looks like I had a stroke. You're very tan. They definitely photoshopped in some extra tan. Oh, yeah. There's all kinds of filters on this thing. But very Indiana Jones, very journey to the center of the earth.

It's a pretty cool poster. It's cool if it was a rock movie and I was yoked and, you know, six foot nine. It's not cool when I'm me. I will say, though, I watched the premiere episode. It's really good, dude. It's a fucking great show. I hope everyone checks it out. Thank you, dude.

It was definitely a lot of work. It was interesting doing it as my own production for the first time, you know, like really doing everything start to finish. So it was a heck of a... Yeah. He didn't have the producer there helping you out this time. Unfortunately not, man. I'm not going to lie.

I would have loved to have had you there a lot of the time. Sure, sure. But, no, it was cool, you know. And what was fun about last night's episode, other than, you know, there's some crazy stuff that goes on, and we can dig into that. But other than that, what are you doing? I just want to compare.

Can you hold up the poster for your new show again, please? Just Google it, jerk. You're Googling stuff right now. You've been giving me shit all day. I pull up one flat picture of you. Yeah, I was, that was pre. Oh, my God. Did you get plastic surgery?

So much. So much of it. All right. For those listening, I pulled up a old picture of For Scalante after the jungle potato incident on naked and afraid. Correct. Looking good. Thank you, I think. That was very backhanded.

Sorry, go ahead. No, you're good. My train of thought was, last night's was a special episode because I got to have Remy, who's a guy I've known from my childhood in Zimbabwe, helped me out. out on the crocodile hunt, which was really pretty cool to, like, show Remy my world as an adult. Because the last time I saw Remy, we were 14 and, you know, catching bugs. And now, now, you know, just how our worlds have changed. It's kind of interesting.

How did you get a whole? How did you actually get a hold of them? Like, how did you even find his number? Oh, we've stayed in touch through Facebook. You know, when Facebook came out, I think he found me. I don't really remember that's, you know, 10 years ago when Facebook launched or whatever. And, you know, we've loosely stayed. in touch and Remy was sending me and posting photos and images of these people from his village

that were losing limbs from crocodiles and disappearing and dying. And he, you know, he was like, Forrest, what do we do? What do we do? And I was like, well, I can come help and we can make a show out of it. You know, if Discovery pays for it, I'll come and take care of the crock. And he's like, please anything. And that's what resulted in the episode, really. Nice. That's cool. Did you, okay, So just set up the episode a little bit, and then I have some questions about some specific moments. Sure. Yeah, happy to. So, yeah, so in Caboravasa, Mozambique, which is an area where the Zambezi turns into giant, Zambisi River turns into giant floodplains, there are a ton of crocodiles. And there always have been. And people have always been attacked by crocodiles. People have always hunted crocodiles. And it's just the natural order of life there. But in the last, like, year, six months, all of a sudden in this one particular village, Remy's village, crocodile attacks have just skyrocketed.

We figured out they were 400% increase in the last couple years. Wow. Holy shit. To the point that in a single month, I think the month prior to when we got there, 10 people were attacked, and I think eight of them died. Oh, my God. So it just exploded. And we were like, well, Remy was like, you know, I don't know what to do. Like people are dying.

My cousins died. My sister's died, whatever. I don't know if that's who it was. But, you know, Remi's like, we don't know what to do. And so the episode is me going to connect with Remy in Kaborabasa to figure out why are these crocodile attacks on the rise. What is going on and why? Sure.

So, you know, obviously you and I produced a show together featured in your book. Face the Beast. I hope you saw that thing that wild time. Yeah. Okay, very good. Fucking, man. The brosters hate me. They think I am a douche.

bag. But there was a man-eating crock episode there in Myanmar, which, you know, you sort of knew going in probably why that was happening, right? It's just food scarcity, all the, you know, the deer and stuff had been hunted out. When you go into Namibia and there's a very recent spike, right? What is your initial suspicion of why one or more crocs are just eating people all of a sudden? You know, so crocodiles are one of the few animals that actively hunt people and occasionally they sort of figure out, oh, people are an easy target. And I thought that there was

a man-eater, just straight up like there is and this sounds very sensationalized, but like there's a man-eater there and I was wrong. That was not the case going in there. What we did figure out, you know, people who haven't seen this can watch the episode, so spoiler alert,

what we did figure out is, and it was hard to articulate this because of certain sensitivities, but basically there's been a huge influx of people in the area, foreign people from Asian countries, and they need food. And so they're paying the local Mozambicans to fish. And the fish, and they're actually going to a factory that's been established in the area. And the fish populations have plummeted. So all of a sudden these crocodiles have nothing to eat. And, you know, it was sort of a

combo of the two, as we answer in the end. There's one crocodile who definitely had developed a taste for people. But the reason that he had been driven to that is that, is that the the biggest fish that we saw in the nets was about this big. And this is the Zambezi. There should be 200-pound catfish coming out of there and giant tiger fish and all these other things. And there aren't. Like it has been netted so heavily that the fish populations are collapsing and the crocs have nothing left to eat. Damn.

Why is there an influx of people moving to Mozambique from Asian countries? Well, specifically, you know, and I'm just going to be honest here, which is something everybody was scared to be on the episode. but specifically it's Chinese countries that are put it or China as a country that is putting in infrastructure in Mozambique. And, you know, they're doing what they've done in a lot of countries where they're offering infrastructure in exchange for resources. And Mozambique's an incredible country. I mean, it has such an amazing abundance of minerals and just all kinds of things, basically. So there's been a huge Chinese influx for Chinese people to come in and they're exchanging the infrastructure. So the people that are coming in are doing a good thing.

They're building roads and bridges, and they're doing things like that. But they're also mining and they're logging, which is where we were in this case. There was a lot of logging going on and things like that. And they need to be fed. You know, typically these have been small African villages in native areas, and they fish or hunt in a relatively sustainable way because they're small populations. But all of a sudden, you know, 10,000 people come in for a logging operation. Well, they need to be fed.

Yeah. So China, and this is not to, you know, we're not taking any political stance. These are just facts. I'm being, and this is, I fought with the network about this. It's not about, it doesn't, I don't care if it was Americans doing it. I don't care if it was another African nation doing it. The fact is the fact, which is that China as a country is putting an infrastructure in exchange for resources. It's not about the race of people.

It's about the location that they've come from. So China, 98%, think about this, 98% of all rare earth elements, which we use REEs for a lot of like computer-based stuff, right? Chips, you know, cellular technology uses these rare earth elements, which are basically these, you know, very dense minerals that are way deep down in the earth. So you have to dig really far down and it's very destructive to the environment to extract rare earth elements. 98% of rare earth elements are controlled by China and are mined by China.

And a big part of what they do, it's not just that they happen to have a ton in China, Part of the reason for it is they do these deals with African countries where they say, hey, you give us mining rights to these areas and we'll build you coal plants, right? So they build them these coal-powered electrical plants and they'll spend $20 or $30 million building a coal plant. And, you know, research has shown that it's like some crazy amount, like 85% of the coal plants that have been built are already just done. Like they...

Defunct. Yeah, they're defunct because they can't continue to run them. But they make these trade deals where they build the plant and then they mine rare earth elements. And there's a huge RE project in Mozambique. Yep. I drove by the factory. It's amazing because Mozambique is so interesting. You get to Maputo, which is like an old city, an old Portuguese colony type city, you know, and it hasn't been Portuguese in a long time.

But it's this beautiful old city with this sort of, you know, European influence from the Portuguese days, beautiful. And then the biggest thing that you see outside of the city is like, you know, it's like, it's like the equivalent of a four-bedroom house that would be a store. And you're driving down the road. And that's the biggest thing that you see, you know, like a little tuck shop kind of place. It's like, yeah, like a four-bedroom house. And that's still like a substantial size building. And then you drive for another two hours on immaculate paved roads because the Chinese have put the Chinese, China has put them in. And these roads, I mean, I'm just, talking a thousand times nicer than the 101 or the 405. I mean, immaculate. And you're in the middle

of the bush, true, but you're in the middle of the bush of Mozambique. And then you come up on this thing, and it's so hard to explain because it's not like the size of a Walmart super center. It's like the size of, it's like if you took six flags, Magic Mountain, Disneyland, SeaWorld, and put them all together and then added 30 Walmart super centers, they're all there together. And this is one facility, one mine that's either, and by the way, Patrick, you mentioned they were doing REE mining, or also doing logging. They're also doing all these other things. They're looking for gems. You know, they're doing all these other things out of one facility.

But you're driving and you get to a place that is bigger than the capital city that is just infrastructure on the side of a highway in the middle of nowhere. And it's this thing that China has put in in order to build infrastructure and resource. around. And I have, by the way, I have no problem with that. I hate the mining. I hate the minerals, you know, exploitation and all of that. But when you see the bridges that they're putting in and these immaculate roads that they're putting in, it's, you'd be crazy if you were a president or a government official to not accept that for your people. But at the same time, it's absolutely destroying the country. Oh, God, it's a fucked up conundrum, dude, because it's so hard, it would be so hard to turn it down like you just said.

It would be. Yeah. But anyway, look, that's, that's, that's sort of neither here nor there. I just was telling, telling that because when in the episode, we dig into how there's overfishing taking place and that's led to this one crocodile chasing people around. But the reason that I, I really, quite frankly, wasn't able to talk about publicly was because of this giant influx of people and foreign people at that. And they need to be fed. So you've got this which is a nursery for fish, by the way. A delta like this is where an entire fish population comes from that is running out of fish. And all of the animals above it in the food chain need food.

And people are next on the menu. So it's a conundrum. Oh, my God. What a mess. Well, there's a couple moments in the episode, speaking of people being on the crock's menu. Let's talk about the canoe flip a little bit. That was, that was, if that was me, I think I might have been too scared to climb back into the canoe. Yeah, well, we made it too.

Luckily, we were so close to that riverbank and we were able to scramble up it. But we did not actually get back. It's funny, we never showed that, but we did not get back in that canoe. We towed it back to the village. We were like, fuck that, not getting back in that canoe. I mean, you're on a river where you know there's crocs eating people at night looking for crocs, and your canoe flips over. Just run me through this and what you're thinking. Yeah, I mean, we're like five, six days into the search and haven't seen any big crocs yet,

and it's not really adding up. So we're like, look, most of the attacks are taking place when people are fishing at night. Let's get in a canoe and go stealthily. And, you know, to this day, I don't know what happened. I don't know if a hippo bumped us. I don't know if a crock nailed the underside of the canoe. I don't know if Remy and I just got super out of whack, but it certainly didn't feel like. that because I've never just flipped over in a canoe before.

Right. And we're paddling and thank God the powerboat with the camera guys is following us and they were only, I don't know, 150 feet away or so. And all of a sudden our canoe just went boom, you know, over. And I'm like, Remy's like stunned. He stands up in this like wasty water and he's like, Forrest, are you okay? And I'm like, Remy, get out of the water. Get the fuck out of the water.

I'm like screaming at him. And he's like, okay. And then like starts trucking it out of the water. but like there's this moment. Oh my God. It just happened so quickly. Like it didn't even really cross my mind like, oh, we're being attacked or there's anything going wrong. It was just like, I'm in the canoe.

Oh, now I'm in the water. Oh, shit. Got to get out of the water. And, you know, thankfully nothing bad happened. But it was definitely dicey. Oof. Jesus Christ, man. Amygdala kicked in there, the minute amygdala you have.

Yeah, agreed. Oh, dude, let's talk about the witch doctor. That was fucking crazy. Sure. Yeah, that was cool. So, yeah, that was even before. So for anybody that hasn't watched the episode, a lot of spoiler alerts coming up. So we go to Remy's Village and we talk to a bunch of people and they tell us how there's not a lot of fish left and they're eating in Bevo, which are these giant ground rats.

And, you know, we discuss all this stuff. And the people in the village and keep in mind, this is tribal Africa. They say the evil crocodile is being controlled by a witch doctor, a female Anganga. And I'm like, all right, Remy, let's go talk to this witch dog. He's like, no. and he's like, I'm not going over there. He's like, nobody goes there. And I'm like, okay, well, I'll go.

And he's like, all right, go by yourself. So I take off. And she lives, like, completely by herself in the middle of the forest outside of the village. And we're walking up. And the weirdest thing was, as we're getting close, you just start to hear marimba music. You know, it was like, do, do, do, do.

And I was like, oh, boy, what's going on over here? And to be honest, like, hearing marimba music in an African village is not exactly, like, you know, that's the same as hearing a radio in a frat house. Like, it's not like that wild. It's just like, you know, why is their music wafting through the forest in the middle of nowhere? We see bats and all this stuff happens. And I rock up and there's a shirtless guy, yoked, you know, super jack skinny African guy playing the marimba.

And I'm like, yeah, he doesn't look like a witch doctor. And this old toothless woman comes running out of her hut, grabs me by the hand. By the way, the cameras are just following. We haven't even, like, got there yet. grabs me by the hand and says in, I forget what language she was speaking. It's a very small language in that region, very, very insular. And she says, and we had a translator, and she says, I've been waiting for you, come and sit down. And I'm like, Jesus Christ, okay.

And we walk into her hut and she's got a fire and she sits down like she's been waiting there for two hours for me to show up. And I'm like, okay, cool. She's lonely. Nobody goes over there to visit her. Right. Yeah, but how she knew we were coming or the fact that there were, you know, six Marungus, six Westerners. Right, like a welcoming ceremony thing. Nothing.

Well, it wasn't really a ceremony so much as, you know, the best way to put it was that she knew we were coming without, you know, maybe somebody ran from the village to tell her or something. I don't know, but it was pretty weird. Yeah. And then, yeah, we sat down and, you know, she was a little nutso, but also really interesting. And she just told us, no, the crocodiles are not bad, you know, like, she's like, There's a bad crocodile, but the crocodiles are not bad. We've lived with them for a very long time. And then she sent us on the whole wild goose chase to catch the feather and all that stuff, which was cool.

But, yeah, she was just, she was a hell of a character, that's for sure. It's crazy to think, though, like, so you think about this village, you know, these small villages have no interest in electricity, right? They're not like, hey, we can't wait to get wired up because they're never going to get wired up, right? Nope. So you think about the trades that these governments make. basically what this village gets out of it is no benefit, and their main source of food, the fish, is now getting taken to feed the people that are working at the Chinese factory or the plant.

So now they don't have fish and they're eating rats. Yep. And this coal plant that's being built doesn't benefit them at all. Correct. It's pretty crazy. It's a pretty negative feedback loop that doesn't end. And it's terrible for the people, and they know it, But at the same time, if they fish and take fish to the factory, they get paid, you know?

So it's a economic term called tragedy of the commons, which means, you know, tragedy of the commons is, if I don't take it, you will. So I might as well, right? So in other words, if there's one avocado left in the whole world, you know, if I don't take it, Patrick will. So although this is the last avocado, I better take it. And that's, you know, that's tragedy of the commons. And that's what's going on in these places where these giant influxes of people come in.

And it's a mess. So who does all the infrastructure and everything benefit? Only the factory workers and then like the rich leaders who are obviously, I'm sure, taking? Africa's a mess. So, yeah, I mean, there's a lot of pockets being lined for sure. But it does benefit some people in some ways. Like I said, the roads were immaculate. You know, we went over a bridge.

So Maputo is a city that's built on two. two sides of a river, sort of an inlet. It used to take about three hours to get from one side. You had to go way up, cross over a small bridge where it narrowed and come back around. And now the Chinese have put in this bridge. I mean, it's like more beautiful than the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. It takes three minutes to get from one side of Maputo to the other, whereas it used to take, like I said, about three hours.

So, you know, there are things like that that benefit the populace as a whole, but not really benefiting any individuals outside of those whose pockets are getting lined to take the trade deals. Gotcha. Yeah. I mean, it's just a fucked up situation, especially just because they're kind of depleting the resources. I mean, what are you going to do if you can't eat? Like, who's going to use the fucking bridges? We've so derailed from the show, and that's totally fine, because I didn't get a chance to do this in the show. The sad thing is nobody wants to talk about it, right? We live in a world where everybody's so scared of pointing fingers, regardless of what it is. And I'm talking about a country. I'm not talking about a race or anything else. I'm talking about two countries. I'm talking about

Mozambique and the country of China. And people are so scared to point fingers. When I came back with a very honest story, and I was like, here's what's going on. Here's why the fish are being depleted. Everybody above me was scared to tell that story because they're like, oh, you know, we don't want to be contributing to the Asian American hate or whatever. And I'm like, it's not Asian-American. There's no hate. This is a real story of something that's going on in Africa, you know? And they're like, oh, well, there's all this bad blood at the moment. And I understand being sensitive and I am culturally sensitive. I mean, I'm going to a wedding on Saturday with literally one of my best friends. His name's Jason Sue. He's from China. And I'm going to his, I love the guy. You know, it has nothing to do with race or the individual. But these are the realities of things that are taking place around the planet. And big broadcasters are scared to share reality. Yeah, I mean, it's a huge problem. Well, obviously, the title of the show is Mysterious Creatures. I'm sure that it morphed quite a bit from what you originally pitched.

And there's, you know, you had to kind of play up the mystery at the beginning more than, you know, for TV. Yeah, 100%. Because you had to get it on TV. And to get any conservation, you know, message on television, I think a lot of the people who listen to this show are very interested in conservation part of it. Right. To get any conservation message. message on television, you really have to sneak it in. It's like the whole hide the broccoli is what they call it in television. And sneak it in is the right word. Unless people, like I can't use buzzwords like

conservation easily on the show. No, you can't even say global warming on television. No, no. And people don't know this. People think that what they're watching is genuine, but, but broadcasters are so scared of alienating an audience, right? Whether that's an audience that doesn't believe in global warning or an audience that thinks conservation's a joke or whatever it might be, they're so scared of alienating an audience that they want everything to be so down the line that when someone like myself comes along who's passionate about conservation and doesn't really care about, you know, conventions or norms or cultural or society or anything like that, they're like, whoa, this guy's dangerous, you know, got to make sure he stays in the box. Like if he wants to talk about conservation,

it's got to have all these other things attached to it. It sucks. I mean, it sucks. It's not as honest as I would like to be. When we were doing, oh, sorry, go ahead of it. It's crazy that we, you know, reality TV, as it's coined, is like the biggest thing on TV. And it's, it's, it's so far from reality. It's all just like, hiding agendas, pushing agendas.

Like, there's no, there's no, like, it's not, it's not. It's all produced, it just seems like, because of legal issues, because people are scared, like you're saying. I'm not saying like it's fashioned into these stories. I'm saying that you can't do things because the audiences, you'll alienate audiences, just like you said. You have to hide the true, like when we, I made a show called Ice Cold Gold that was, we did three seasons on Animal Planet. And it was a show where these guys were prospecting in Greenland. The beginning of every episode started by setting up the concept, which is, The ice sheet that covers Greenland is receding and melting,

and it's basically exposing about four miles of new land on the coast every year. There's four more miles of land because of global warming. That's the whole construct of the show. But we had to explain it without mentioning global warming. So we never addressed why the ice is melting. You just had to say, the ice is melting really quickly. The ice is melting, and people are wearing less jackets these days. But anyway, I mean, and that mixed with like a complete lack of critical thinking in today's society is as a dangerous mix.

It's just propagating everything because now you have dumbasses. And I'm not saying I'm above any of this. I react emotionally to dumb shit I see all the time. Everybody does it. It's like it's human nature. But you have, you know, you're watching this. And it's like there's this severely important piece of information missing. And if you're just in and indefinitely.

with shit coming at you, you're reading Reddit, you're reading Instagram, you're looking at news stories, you're doing all this shit, you're not going to critically think. Like, oh, like, this is a reality of global warming that I hear all these buzzwords about in news articles and shit, you know? You don't see that. You don't make that connection. What do you guys think is just top of your head? What do you think is the fakesest reality show that you've seen?

I mean, for me, it's easy. I'll go first while you guys think. Desperate, like the, the real housewife series. Yeah. Think about this. There's like five. There's like probably fucking ten of them by now. They're wildly successful.

They're among the highest rated shows on television. But think about the fact that it's a group of people that hate each other's guts. Yet every night they get together for a big dinner. Is that what it is? Is that what it is? And every dinner devolves into a huge fight. Someone's throwing wine on someone. But yet they constantly are having house parties where they just get together.

so that they can scream at each other. Right. And they're like, well, this was great. Let's do it again tomorrow night. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. There is a certain, I mean, and they're older, too, though. So that's, that doesn't land for me because you, when you're younger, you do do that.

Because it's like you, you fucking party hard. You don't give a shit. People get hammered. You fight. And then you sober up. You're good for a few hours. You do it all over again. You don't care.

When you're older, like, that's either an act or you're an alcoholic. Like you have a real problem. Right. For me, it's, uh, it's this show called marrying millions. It's fucking ridiculous. It's, it's this show about, um, you know, it's, uh, usually a, a younger woman is going to marry some way older guy who's a fucking millionaire. And a lot of them are just like, and it's not always that too.

Like there's, there's young couples and, uh, all this, man. But it is so fucking fake. like one time this guy goes into a diamond store with the girl to get like the diamond looked at or something and it's this huge fucking like novelty size diamond and the uh the jeweler or whatever you know obviously in my mind a paid actor yeah exactly right like it's it's edited in such a way where like she's looking at it and uh she's just like that yeah it's it's not real in front of like the girl and the guy and the guy just wigs out. He's like, turn the cameras off. And you never

hear from them again. As if they've left the show and like it's over. And there's like all this controversy about it. I'm like, this is a fakesest thing I've ever seen and so easy to do. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Forrest, what do you think? I think the biggest scam and Patrick

you're not going to like to hear this. But I think the biggest scam and one of the fakesest things in reality television is The Bachelor. I think that whole thing is scripted. I think they know exactly what they're getting into. And somehow the fact that they like keep all

the contestants on board and being like, yeah, no, like for sure. This is, this is legit. And like, you're going to find your true love and all of that. I think it's genius. I don't know how they've done it, but Granted, I haven't watched that much Bachelor, but it just seems like I'm sitting there watching it and you just

again, it's like two guys start fighting and you're like, what are you actually fighting about? And like, oh, well, he's staying even though everybody hates him or she's getting the rose. And you're like, fuck, that's,

obviously the producers are like, well, we need her because she's a great source of controversy. Let's keep her in. So they go and tell the bachelor, like, got to pick Jenny or whatever her fucking name is. And then Jenny's makes it until the final three.

And you're like, he fucking hates Jenny. Everybody hates Jenny. You're like, this is such bullshit. Like, why is Jenny still here? And tonight,

Jenny, will you accept this rose? It's like, no. Like, Jenny just got picked up from a fucking trailer park. She's a nightmare person. She's crazy.

Crazy is fucked. I still watch it because it is two hours of good fun on a Tuesday night. I know. Two hours, brutal. They do a spin-off called Bachelor in Paradise, and I've never made it through a full season, but we watched this season. Oh, my God, it was good.

It was so fucking good. Every episode was just banging. Yeah. Well, what made it good? Like, just because they were so fucking, like, everything was such drama. They were all just so fucking in their own heads. They're trapped at this resort where they've got about one acre of beachfront land to mill about for six weeks.

And there's just a lot of people just completely fucking over the other person. You know, some new guy or girl comes to the beach and they're just immediately banging him in the fantasy suite. It was good stuff. And no phones. Like, no phones. They can't do anything. And I think that adds a lot to these shows because you don't really realize when you're watching. Is that a thing on The Bachelor?

No phone. Yeah, they can't have their phones. Oh, and the producers this year, Forrest, you'll like this, and then we'll move on to something else. No, it's kind of fun. The producers did this one couple real dirty, where the guy was there first, and he already was full on dating another Bachelor Nation chick, but he had to pretend to be into this girl so he could stay until she got there.

Okay. And they turned off their mics once she got there, and they're laying on one of these day and they turn their mics off, but of course there's a plant mic in the daybed. Of course. And they had a full conversation. They were like, she's like, dude, just from the episode where you mentioned me, I got 10,000 more followers. And they have a full convo about how brilliant they are for going on the show just to get more Instagram followers. And they played the entire thing with no edits and just killed these people.

Yeah, it was great. No way. Dude, send that to me. Yeah, I want to watch that. That's good. So they're literally sitting there snickering about how cool and clever they are because they've turned off the mics and because they're skyrocketing to like social media fame. Yes. And that's the whole reason they're doing it.

Exactly. And I think the girl actually deleted her Instagram afterwards because they were like, I mean, millions and millions of Americans were like they're like their villain number one. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, that's the whole thing about The Bachelor is you're in it for the wrong reasons, right? They made that like a whole, a whole thing. through line where it's like, oh, you're not here for love. You're in it for the wrong reasons. It's like, yeah, no shit. I'm lying on a fucking

daybed telling you I'm here for Instagram followers. Yeah, man. Love it. Yeah, it's good shit. What else you got? What do you got? Should we do one news story? Sure, I got a new story. At least. I got news stories. Yeah, we got do a battle royal. Let's

see. Oh, did you guys see these shrimp that are showing up in Arizona after the monsoons? I did not. Well, these are pretty cool. So, you know, I like to think that I have a pretty good handle on most of the wildlife that runs around the world, especially in the United States, especially in the modern world, and be like, yeah, I know what, I know, you know, I know about animals. I know where things are. Well, when you think of Arizona, you do not think of shrimp.

And sure enough, monsoon season hit, the headline reads, strange three-eyed dinosaur shrimp are showing up in Arizona, admits, admits, um, yeah. Let me try that word again, amidst monsoons. And, you know, I clicked the link. I was like, this is going to be, you know, some buzzfeed nonsense. Nope, there are these horseshoe crab looking shrimp that are coming out of the dry, dusty earth that is the Arizona desert when the monsoons are hitting, which is, it's unreal. Like, these look like deep sea trilopods. And they're, yeah, they're crawling out of the desert. So they basically are, they're living under the.

The soil? Yeah. They're living under... And you're not talking about soil. Soil is like something plants grow in. This is just like desert evilness that they're living in. Yeah. Dude, if you saw this in Arizona...

Isn't that cool? It's wild, dude. There must be just enough groundwater, like, deep down under there to keep them alive. Right? Yeah. I mean, I guess there's obviously some kind of underground borrowing going on and they're spending time, you know, under... subterranean. I don't think we know

anything about them, to be honest. I haven't read the full article. I was just blown away by the images themselves. But I just kind of imagine. There's a water-faring creature in the middle of the desert. Well, just look at it. Tell me that's not a deep-sea creature when you look at that. You look at that

and go, yep, that lives on an undersea volcano. And sure enough, they're popping out of the earth in Arizona, which literally just goes to sort of show us, we think we know it all and we know nothing. Yeah, so what do we, I mean, did they, did, I mean, did the, did they drop out of the sky? Were they, how the fuck could these have gotten there?

Well, no, so the monsoon season brings these crazy, crazy rains. Right. So obviously, tons and tons of water, they had a really gnarly monsoon season this year. Conditions have changed. And so they came up from Middle Earth where they live and came to the surface. Yeah. So they lay their eggs in the sand or in the desert soil. and then when they have these massive torrential downpours,

the porous earth sort of just the water just sucks through it, right? And then, yeah, their eggs hatch and these things crawl out. But it's just, I don't know, it's just wild. Bro, how fucked up is it to think that, you know, there's just these, there's just potentially just monsters living in the ground somewhere. And if it rains, like water is going to activate them. If it rains a little too much. Somewhere in like the Saharan desert where it,

never gets rain or the Gobi Desert is an egg from tremors. And as soon as that some tourist is going to be taking a walk out of their land cruiser and take a leak in a certain pile of sand, that's it. Whole world's over. Tremors is back. Sand and shrimp, worms.

Yeah, it's coming, I hope. Mysterious creatures episode. We got a Brosner DM from Sam Gochner-O-7 who said, hey, I've just started watching some of the Extincter Alive episodes. I have a question for Forest. I notice when looking for the animals, you guys often put up a drone to get a bird's eye view.

He's like, I have the same drone that you guys use, and I know it's very loud. I can't help but wonder if the sound of the drone would scare away animals in the surrounding area. How does that work? I have some opinions, but I'll let you go first since he addressed you. Yeah, my opinion is any glimpse is better than no glimpse. So even if it's a glimpse of something fleeting away from a drone noise, totally worth it. The other thing I'll say to, was it Sam? is that

so animals are not like people they don't look at a drone and go oh that's scary right animals you know if you're an elephant and a noisy eagle flies overhead you're not very scared of that eagle right nothing in your life has ever been like oh birds scare me so if there's a noisy one

all of a sudden it's not going to freak you out and so we use drones tactically I would say when the animal is not something that necessarily would be scared by it So, you know, if we were looking for an extinct frog that's entire life is spent hiding from birds, I wouldn't use a drone. But when we're looking for a large mammal that is completely unaffected by birds overhead, it's the perfect tool. Yeah, one thing, when BTG and I were doing the bear documentary in Alaska, you know, we often would try and use the drone just to get a better shot of bears that we had taken notice, you know, that we saw, but they were really far away. And they would just stare at it.

Yeah, like a big brown bear. They would just sit there and stare at it. They were enamored with it. And then if we came down a little too close, then they would sort of disappear into the tree line. They wanted nothing to do with it once it got close. But it's a great way of getting footage of the animal, which on Extincter Alive,

pretty much the entire goal is to get footage, if not a DNA sample, which is obviously a lot harder than just getting a shot of something. That's for sure. Yeah. Especially if it's the, extinct Cape Lion, where you'd have to smuggle it out in your arse. That's right.

The DNA sample, that is. Not the drone. The whole lion. Not the whole lion. Yeah. It's interesting, though, because, like, I'll watch, I'm going to equate this to cooking shows. You watch how they, like, do a recipe or whatever, and they leave, you just, there's certain

things that, again, it's omitted. You don't know, like, there's a few spices or a few things that aren't in there in this recipe and it's like for this for this drone thing it's like you can only if you don't know that you can only do it for certain animals you don't know that piece of information you go out there and you try and capture you know like a skittish bird with a drone and it just flies off every time and you don't know that you guys are really out there like actually doing this research or knowing from experience that you know you can film certain animals this way but for me what i would do is I would just put a bird whistle on the exhaust pipe of the drones.

Oh, there you go. Make it louder. It sounds like a bird. You should have your own show, Peter. Drones have a lot of exhaust pipes. Can you help me with that? All right. I think I know what time it is.

Do you know what time it is? Oh, boy. Can you guys delay a little more so I can find me? Frantically looks for the drop. What time is it? Oh, my God. I know. It's about quarter to two.

What time is it for you? I think I know what time it is. Do you know what time it is? The one. The best. First for first pick, a lime. It's a small avocado. Wait, is that a...

Is that a prop avocado? Is that fake? No, no, they're real ones. They're from my garden. I was walking around the garden before this. They're freakishly green. Yeah. Well, yeah, they're very unripe.

They've just fallen off the tree. They need time. Put them in a month. Put them in a brown paper bay. You know this? Yep. I sure do. For those of you who don't, if you put an unripe avocado in a brown paper bag, it ripens faster.

That's called Takeaway Facts. All right, I've got a good one. Can I throw one out here for us? Please. Yeah, I'd love that. All right. This is submitted by one of our brosener's Adam the plant. Okay.

We're going back to Peter's favorite. It's a fight till death. Thank God. Very nice. But here's a few little things here. It's not just a normal fight till death. Let me get the net pad out. They're fighting till death in the middle of a body of water.

It doesn't specify whether it's salt or fresh. Okay? So it's an aquatic battle royal, but here's the kicker. You can't use any fish or aquatic mammals. Ooh, that's one. I like that. Okay. Now here's what we're going to do.

Is there anything else? Head, body, and a special ability. Head body, special ability. They're going to fight till death. And no fish, no aqua, aquatic mammals. I think this is a good one. Aquatic mammals meaning like marine mammals, right?

Yeah, yeah. No whales, no orchids. Okay. Exactly. Boy. This is a tough one. Who's going first? Not me.

It's head, body, and special ability. Special ability. Okay, I'll go first. Okay. I don't even know how to Google search this. I am going to, so, all right, I got this. I'm going to start with the head. And I am going to give a,

my animal, the head of a polar bear. So polar bears are very good swimmers. They're certainly not aquatic or marine mammals, but they are excellent at swimming. They have crazy bite force. They're super gnarly and scary. And that on the other two animals that I'm hoping you guys don't pick, it's going to be a force to be reckoned with. Good, good start. Good start. I'll go next, as Peter tries to figure out how to use his Alta Vista search engine to... Asked Jeeves, mate. I'm going to start with my special ability. and I'm going to take the special ability of a very interesting frog found in Brazil.

It's known as Bruno's cask-headed frog. Now, this is a extremely venomous frog, but it literally shoots the venom out of its head at a great distance, right? Can do it in the water, can do it out of the water. My animal is going to be able to shoot toxic venom directly at you out of its head. doesn't even need to get that close to you.

It's going to be a real problem for your polar bear head. I didn't know about the Bruno's frog venom. It was only discovered in 2015. That's really neat. And by the way, it's venom. It's venom is 25 times deadlier than that of a pit viper. Jesus. So that gets in my polar bear mouth and I'm in big trouble.

You're in trouble, yeah. What did you get? What do you get? All right. So it's got to be in water. Okay. That's a big part of it, yes. Correct, yes.

That's the main part of it, actually. So my, my, God damn it, this is so hard. It's going to have the, so we need body, the body of a, of a lobster. A lobster's not a fish, and it has claws that are meaty and delicious. And also, what? He said no, like, fine, good, I like it. Aquatic man. In order to not delay this 23 minutes while you freak out.

He said fish or aquatic mammals. No, you found the loophole and we'll give it to you. Yep. What are you guys talking about? How is that that is not a fish nor an aquatic mammal? Very good, sir. Okay, so you've got a one foot long body. Fuck.

This big. Yeah. This big. It's delicious. It will have the special ability of a jelly fish, which is not, it's tough because I'm the layman. And I can't Google it. That's the problem.

There's no way to Google this correctly. If you do know ways to Google things like this, please comment. You just said jellyfish. It's not a fish. I know. It's not a fish. He's going with a loophole. Yeah, he's really hammering that.

Okay, so it's going to have the stinging abilities of just your common jellyfish? No, it has the immortal abilities of that one immortal jellyfish. that can live forever, which I know I've used before, but this is really hard. I like that whispery voice. This is really hard. All right. I'm going to give, look, swimming is a big part of this because, look, I'm pretty sure on land I could easily handle forest in a fight. But in the water, he would drown me in two seconds because he's a much better swimmer.

I want a rugged, tough body that adds some weaponry, but also a good swimmer. I'm going to go, and people are going to be mad because I pick it a lot, but I'm trying to win. I'm going with the body of a Nile crocodile. Good. Very good. Good swimmer. Very good. It's got some claws, can whip you with the tail.

It's got tough, thick skin. This is going to be a problem. Terrifying animals so far. Very terrifying. More so than a lobster jellyfish hybrid. It's true. I have no chance at winning this one. No, this is not your get down.

So I have the intimidating. head of a polar bear, which I'm hoping, which can, for sure, I think, bite through the height of a Nile crocodile. Don't know how I'm going to handle the Bruno's frog venom just yet. Peter's creature, I'll just step on. Why don't you eat it? Probably give you some energy. So, yeah, so to go with my polar bear head, I am going to give myself the body of a beaver. Very agile swimmer. He's got that big tail for slapping and distracting. By the way, beavers are just kind of terrifying. People think they're very cute.

adorable, and they are, but they're big animals and they're pretty gnarly. So yeah, great swimmer, very agile, very nimble, should easily be able to dip, dodge and dive around that crock, body of a beaver. Dip dive and dodge. Special ability. Oh, by the way, just quick side note, one of the Brosner sent me an article from his hometown just happened at the end of September. A guy in Massachusetts was attacked by a 40-pound beaver viciously. They're gnarly, dude.

Yeah, tore the shit out of his hand, arm, and legs. It fucked him up. Almost drown him, he said. Wow. Vicious beavers. No, they're crazy. Don't be fooled. And then to add to my polar bear-headed beaver,

I'm going to give it the special ability of a platypus, some venomous hind leg claws. So all I have to do is duck around with the claws, put some venom in there. It's a pretty gnarly animal. Yeah. Okay, so you've got a beaver body. It's got venomous hind legs and a pull over a head.

Okay, to add to my Nile Crock body and its special power of shooting poison 25 times more deadly than venom, I should say. That's pretty impressive. Than a pit viper. Obviously, I want a scary head. I want a head with a lot of bite force. Yep. I also want my animal to be cool looking. Okay.

I'm going to go with a hyena head. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Are they pretty good swimmers? Yeah, what's up with that? Do those go in water? No, I've got the swimming ability...

No, I've got the... My crock is handling the swimming. The whole time. Well, it's keeping its hyena face above water. The whole time. So you're saying it's not going to be able to hold its breath. I don't know. I actually have no idea if my ears to swim or not.

Because it's you. If it was me, he would know for sure. No, I don't know the answer. I'm sure that it's not a good pick, but I don't know whether hyenas can swim well or not. I was thinking that you, first, when you go swim, how much are you swimming with your fucking head? You swim with your body, mate.

I've got the body of the crook. The lungs are in the body. That's true. That is true. That's a good point. Lungs are in the body. Okay, rounders out. Rounders out.

Herpes. No. So this is going to be interesting because my head is, in fact, going to be larger than the entire body and special ability of my creature. It's going to be mostly head with a head of a hippopotamus. Okay.

This is very confusing creature. It's a fucking mess. An immortal hippopotamus head. It's like this huge head with like a little lobster tail on the back of it. I kind of want one of these for my aquarium. This is a train wreck. I hope someone draws your animal. I was just going to say this would be a great one to have drawn up if any

brosters have some free time. These are fun. 3D animated video would be. It'd be great. So I obviously have won things. All right, run it down for us so people can vote. Yep. So jump on, go on iTunes, go on YouTube.

Let us know who wins the Battle Royale in a fight to the death in the ocean. Is it me with the head of a polar bear, the body of a beaver, and the special ability of venomous spikes of a platypus? Does Patrick's Nile Crocodile with a Bruno's shooting venom frog And the head of a hyena take the cake? Yeah. Or does Peter's hippo head with a lobster tail attached to it?

A lobster claws. Lobster claws. And a special ability of an immortal jellyfish having leg up. Let us know, do the voting thing. Give us some five stars. You guys know how it goes. Retep, you're up for the closer.

Oh, wait. And real quick, too. We are looking for one special Brosner to come on board. We're still figuring out how we're going to work it, but hit us up if you are interested in going through all 80 podcasts and creating a master list of the Battle Royals. There's more announcements coming, but if you're interested in coming on board, let us know.

There's a reason for it. We'll tell you there's a reason. Yes, exactly. Go to the Wild Timespodcast.com forward slash info at Wild Timespod for all the socials. And check out the Patreon where there are many, many more. I think we're up to like 15, 16, 15 bonus pods on there. So 15 hours more of podcasts. It's a lot of shit.

For a month, we do AMAs. We do all sorts of shit that we can't do on YouTube or Apple Podcasts. We ate everything at Taco Bell. Everything. Yeah. It's for us's biggest achievement. It is. Yeah, it is.

And it will be forever. Do check out the Patreon, the Wild Times podcast, Patreon. We love you guys. That link is patreon.com forward slash wild times pod to get right there. There will have been one in this video somewhere. You can click on it and in the description. Check it out. Pat, say good night.

Good night. Good night. What part of? the brain told you to do that for us. I don't know. I'm trying to do something funny. The Antimagena. Works for me.