Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #85 - Cookie vs. Neil Waters

Episode Date: December 6, 2021

Another victim of Neil Waters and his harassment/brigading, Cookie, joins the TWT crew to shoot the sh*t. Be sure to stay until the end where we duke it out in a hoax spreading battle royale! Checkout cookie's Neil Waters saga on his channel @ https://www.youtube.com/c/Cookie6994 We love you, not you Neil! Patreon @ https://patreon.com/wildtimespod All the links @ https://thewildtimespodcast.com/links

There it is. It's the Wild Times. It is a very special episode, one that I am very excited about, because as always, I am here, For Scolante, your host, the broologist. Joining me is Patrick DeLucah. The broducer. The broducer. What's going on, Pat?

Shivering in my garage, baby. I see that. There's a lot of jacket going on. 75 out. No, it's fucking cold in the valley, man. Yeah, but you see... I'm there. It's 75. I love you. It's minus 5, because in Southern California, neutral is 80 degrees.

So right now, it's minus 5 in Los Angeles, which is terrible. That's horrible. All right, moving on from the weather, the one and only, the guy who is the glue to this podcast, Mr. Retep, the professor, PhD in podcast. What's going on, Peter? Stay golden, my friends. Nothing. Nothing. I'm here.

It's the middle of the day. It is Friday. I thought about drinking today at one, but I still have more work to do. And I was like, nah, I won't do shit after this if I have one beer. That's it. I know. It's over. Dude, I am useless.

Like, I used to have a beer at like two beers at lunch on Friday. Like when we were working on Whale Wars, we did beer Friday lunches. We would power through till 8, 9 o'clock, then go out. Yeah. If I have a beer at one o'clock, days over. If I have a beer at one o'clock, I need a nap at 145. Yeah, that's how my day or lightweight. All right, well, this man has been sitting silently patiently waiting for his introduction.

This is why I'm so stoked and there's lots of fun to talk about. We have the Brotuber himself. Mr. Cookie joining us, especially on episode 85, all the way from the United Kingdom. What's that, man? The He's a gone on. You're okay. Yeah, we're good. We're very okay. Thank you. So, Forrest, how did this come about, Forrest?

Oh, my God. So, first of all, first of all, Yes, let me back up, let me back up several steps here. So if you're joining us for the first time on episode 85 of the wild times, hang up, just leave the podcast, don't even finish it. Go 85 episodes back, start over, 85 hours from now, get back to here, and you'll understand the saga, okay? Which is that, I don't know, what was it, a year ago now, Cookie, when the thylacine thing happened? It was March of this year. Oh, it was March of this year. Okay, so in March of this year, a man by the name of Neil Waters, who runs Togo, the Thylacine Awareness Group of Australia, put out a video, a very cryptic video that says, hey, guys, I've done it, I've found the thylacine.

How exciting, right? This is in March. We all got excited on the podcast, 80, whatever, 60-ish episodes ago. I don't fucking know. A lot of episodes ago. We got super excited. We're like, oh my God, this is going to be huge. I was up all night checking the internet

like every 30 minutes to see what the follow-up video would be because this was 100% confidence that a man named Neil Waters had found the thylasein. And I was stoked, right? Well, came out a few days later that there were some very cryptic photos that really didn't prove anything. It was a bit of a letdown worldwide

for the wildlife community. It was a, yeah, some have said it was a hoax. and the gentleman Neil who published the video got a little criticized, including by us on this podcast. However, we took a stance. This is a very long way of explaining it, Patrick, but it's fun. We took a stance that was good for him anyway, right? Because, you know, he brought awareness to the thylacine. Now, fast forward to, I don't know, three weeks ago, and my phone is blowing up because the brokners are like,

dude, have you seen there's a Neil Waters documentary on Vice? Now, when I'm getting these messages, I'm sitting on Bart, the Bay Area Transit train in San Francisco, and I'm like, yeah, let's see what it's all about. Straight away, went to Vice, watched the whole thing from my phone on the train, and that was basically a 45-minute fluff piece on this guy, right? This Neil guy that was like the same thing that I said initially, which was like good for him. At least he's bringing awareness to the thylacine. At no point did anybody seem to sort of criticize the fact that there was somewhat of some fakeries. going on with this thylacine a siding. Anyway, kind of came and went.

I don't even think we discussed it on the podcast. I watched the VICE thing. I was like, yeah, whatever. That was kind of fun. Yeah, you didn't even bother to text us about it. I didn't even know that shit came out. Oh, yeah, sorry. That's how exciting it was.

Anyway. That's how many people watch VICE, by the way. What was your wet market? Did your wet market special crack 10,000 viewers, you think? I highly doubt it. Yeah. Just the people that listen to our show that watch. it. But anyway, so two nights ago, I start, my phone starts buzzing again, and the

Brosners are sending me a YouTube video, a very special YouTube video from a man in the United Kingdom named Cookie. Cookie, what was your video about? Tell us what your video was about. I mean, I was the same as you, man. I watched that doc, and I was like, this is, this is not what I thought it was going to be for starters. And then I sort of, I watched it in a thought, this is just not the man I've like come to know. Right. I don't know. I just thought, I can't sit here and just let this happen. And in my head, I was like, this has got to be said, you know.

This is, I need to come out and say what I need to say about this guy because this is, this is making him look good. Right. This just isn't it, man. This is not it. No. I couldn't let that slide, you know. And so Cookie made this video, this YouTube video, where he broke down his interaction with Neil

Waters. And we're going to circle back to that later on in the show because there's there's some hate, right? There's some hate floating around. There's all sorts of developments going on, huh? Yeah, there's negative things. Cookie needs to learn how to speak English. I mean, there's all kinds of stuff going on. There's hate being thrown around.

There's shade being slung. Some at me. Some at Retepe is under the bus for sure. It's very hard for me to bite my tongue, but I've been told to wait until the end. We're going to get to it. We're doing a little bait and switch here. We do a little bait and switch. Cookies had personal interaction with Neil.

So there's a whole lot of story that we're going to get to. That must have been a real treat. That put me down a rabbit hole of cookies. YouTube, though, which is all, you know, he is a vlogger, a YouTuber. It's all about wildlife and nature. And who better to have on the damn podcast than a guy who spends his life talking about wildlife and nature? Well, hang on. Hang on.

I got to step in here. Because I was checking out his YouTube channel yesterday. And there's tons of cool stuff, and the Instagram's cool, too. Obviously, this is a man who spends a lot of time with Retepp's favorite animal, the otter. So we'll get into some, we'll get into some otter talk in a little bit. But he also, Cookie, you do something on your nonsense. Oh, nice. Cook, you do something on your YouTube where people challenge you, I don't know if you still do this,

people challenge you to learn something in five days? So that was in the UK at the start of this year. We had a lockdown. And I thought like in that time where we weren't allowed to leave the house and stuff properly, I thought, let's just try and learn something new each week. And yeah, like people got involved, like saying like try and learn how to split an apple with your hands. Oh, that's funny. Try to moonwalk, that sort of stuff.

The moonwalk video is great. I'm going to do it tonight. Yeah. Oh, no. Wait, so I haven't seen the video. I haven't either. Did you learn it? Can you give us a live show? Can you moonwalk for us?

Do you guys? You want to see that, though? Very much so. Oh, my God. No, you don't have to. So if you're listening on iTunes or any of the other podcasty places, we have a YouTube channel. We are about to see Cookie, the famous vlogger, animal vlogger, moonwalk. Let's see it.

Let me take some pressure off him by saying this. when he starts on day one, like just even doing the toe thing, he's like almost falling over. That's how I would be. That's how I'm going to be now. Let's see it. Let's see it.

Let's see it. I'm excited. I try to do it. Roundhouse kick. It can't be any worse than that. Yeah, that's good. Sure. Yeah, go for it.

That's pretty good. That looks good to me. That's way better than anything that TEP can do. Yeah, that looks really. Great, dude. What are you talking about? That was shocking. That was shocking.

It's funny how, like, since you practice it so much and, like, you see it perfect by Michael Jackson, you watch the videos of people who are doing it. But I'm sure from Square One, like Pat said, today, like it looked good to us. So, congratulations on that. Are you being polite, though? I swear to God. No, I'm not being nice. If you've ever listened to the show, you'd know that being nice is not really a priority. for us. So, no, that

legitimately looked good. Granted, it's very dark. I can't tell what's going on fully with your legs, but overall, from a distance, it looked great. Yeah. But it really inspired me because I got to thinking, you know, he breaks it down until like the four steps, right? Cookies actually taking us through trying to

actually learn this skill in five days. And I started watching the Michael Jackson clips, and I'm like, okay, that's the coolest thing ever. I was like, no one's going to expect from me to just suddenly know how to moonwalk. I'm going deep on this. Like, I'm going to fucking learn.

Yeah? I haven't started yet. I was going to start working on tonight. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah. But I'm going to learn. Cookie, have you busted out any of your new tricks at parties? Or is it just something you keep in the room with yourself? It's one of those things

I keep myself usually right, but I learned how to like throw a card into an apple. Oh, that's cool. Well, but like that's what I just. sort of randomly do. I'll just launch a card miles and people are like wow, how'd you do that? But like

it's just stuff like that, you know, it's like gambit. I love the self-deprecation too because, you know, I feel that. That's how I am as well. So let's pivot a little bit. Obviously, like you have a lot of content

with otters. Are those river otters or sea otters that you're hanging out with? They're river otters, but they do hunt in the sea. So on the west coast, Scotland, they're, um, they, they're quite abundant, uh, apparently, but you don't really see them very often. I was quite lucky to find this one and, um, got to watch it for about half an hour, but generally like, they, they, they, they, they, they'll sort of come back into the rivers and wash themselves off the salt and stuff. Yeah, yeah, it's really cute. I love them, man.

Also, also the animal that is most likely, also the animal that is most likely responsible for the lock nest, my monster sightings, right? So I don't know if we've ever actually discussed this on the pod before, but lock mess monster, right? Scotland, there's tons of otters around. And when a troop of otters go swimming through a lock and they're sort of all going up and down together in unison, it looks like the ripply back of a sea serpent swimming through an area.

And if you're, you know, this I know we've talked about, if you're one of those people who, you know, has an idea in their head and is already predestined to see a monster and you go see, you know, a troop of otters swimming through a lock, you're absolutely going to think, I mean, I think it would look like a monster, because I've seen it. I know what it looks like. It's very monstery. No, yeah, I get that. Like, I think people see what they want to see, like you said, for the Loch Ness thing, especially. That's still mad, though. I did a video on that this year,

and like this one guy who, he like holds the record for the most sightings or something of the lockness monster, like a proud title. Yeah, well, almost like, you know, if you were, say, I don't know, spotting thylacine in Tasmania and you happen to have seen him six times a one time out of your kitchen window. Which I don't know who would ever declare that. But anyway, cool, man. Well, tell me, Cookie, before we go into some news and some other stuff, because that's what this show's about.

It's about wildlife stuff. How did you get into it? Because that's one of the things Brosner's ask us all the time, right? How did you get into wildlife? You're living in the United Kingdom, you know, which is not exactly the most wild of jungle places. Like, how did you get into the wildlife scene? Like, what made you fascinated? How did you decide to do YouTube? Tell us your story.

As a kid, it was Steve Irwin for me. I've heard of them. I sort of, I had a fascination with Australia, and then obviously he came with that. And I don't know, his passion and enthusiasm just like, innocence, I suppose, to it all sort of drew me in. And then I think ever since then, really, I've just been interested in animals. And I prefer animals over people. So it's like, how do you?

Like, without trying to sound like mad or anything, you know. I just like, I've got four dogs and they're my best, like, my best mates, you know? So it's like, just prefer animals, isn't it? Easier to get along with them. So, yeah, as a kid and stuff, just grew with that. And as the YouTube came about, it's sort of like, I don't know, I've always enjoyed creating content. So in school, I actually used to make, like, Call of Duty montages, right?

Because there was the thing to do back in those days. But as I got older, I thought like, let's be a personality and sort of get what I enjoy doing across. And then in the last year or so, it's turned into like a wildlife thing. And it's actually like, it's quite weird, right? Because I've got a series on my channel. It's called Animal Anomalies. And this is heavily inspired by extinct or alive. Oh, cool.

Yeah, sort of full circle. So that's quite nice. That's awesome, man. Yeah. It's really cool. Go on. Sorry. Oh, I was going to say.

Yeah, yeah, you go. Our brosters are sick of listening to me. We were done. Yeah. I was going to say like, with that, like, I watched the show and I was like, oh, this is sick. I was like, this is so cool, right? And I thought, how can I adapt that? And you said a minute ago about the UK, like, being like quite barren of wildlife.

And it is. It's shocking. It's proper bad. But there are, like, certain things here that are like, what's that doing there? So we've got like a population of scorpions Down in the south Yes that's a weird one Introduced or they're native

So they're non-native They're yellow-tailed scorpion So they're from Europe And it's thought that they came over Like on masonry ships Like a couple hundred years ago or something Yep There are wallabies knocking about

What else we got? Yeah we've got some Wallerbees in Scotland And there are some in England Of course you do You got wallabies in Scotland. Like, when I think wallabies, I think Scotland. Isn't it literally like the polar opposite of where we all know they're from, which it would be like New Zealand or Australia,

as far as weather and environment goes? Definitely not New Zealand. Definitely not New Zealand. Well, no, we're close to each other. Melbourne in the south of Australia is pretty god-awful weather, which is kind of like Scotland. So that ends up. Fair enough.

Yeah, I mean, it gets cold, but I think they're in this specific environment, which is, it's almost like a temperate rainforest environment. It's quite weird. Interesting. Is there an idea of how they got there? Yeah, so this, this quite eccentric lady from like the 1920s or 1940s or whatever. She had this like private island and she just decided one day like, oh, do you know what?

I'm going to chuck a few wallabies on there. And they've been there ever since. Whether they've got off and gone elsewhere, don't know. But that's the main, like, the one that everyone knows about in this country. Wait a minute. She did it. She did the thing that every single high school to 23 year old boy has talked about, which is getting an island and putting your own set of weird animals that you want on that island. She actually did. Exactly. Yeah. It's the island of Dr. Moreau. You're like, yeah, I'm going to get an island. I'm going to splice a cheetah onto a horse. And I'm just going to live there. And have a choice. Yeah. I kind of tell you how many conversations, even now as an adult man, I've had with my friends about when one of us, as a billionaire and we buy one of the California Channel Islands and what are the five

animals that you're putting on the California Channel Islands just to surround your little your little Eden house that you have to yourself because of course California would definitely allow that and sell the island but yeah no I this is this is a dream that I've had my whole life is exactly what this lady did wallabies in Scotland just made me think of this so literally last night for a crazy weird reason I was Googling what are the 10 most hunted animals in the United States. Okay. And found a bunch of spurious bullshit and then finally found a credible.

Dot Gov website. Okay. One of the top 10 animals hunted in the U.S. is Gemsbach. Can you figure out a way to explain that? It's got to be. That's what I thought. It's got to be canned. Can you first explain to us?

Texas. Yeah. So a Gemsbock is a beautiful antelope from Africa. You know, Texas is a fucking. and Wild Place Cookie. I don't know if you know this. It's just, it's full of, it's full of crazy people with too much money and a lot of land. And so there is, there is every animal that you can imagine that you can find in Africa, India, Australasia, all running around Texas. And so I didn't know this, of course, but obviously there's, uh, Jemsbach must be a very high priority for people

to go hunt and it must be in Texas. It can't be anywhere else. Right. But canned, canned hunts, right? Private ranches that have just populated. High fence. High fence ranches where they've put, you know, 10,000 of them in several hundred acres or whatever. So it's like going to whole foods. It's not really like going hunting. Right. Yeah, it's like whole foods with a rifle. But, yeah, that's interesting.

That's very interesting. Do you guys not have any laws are like what you can own over there? So where we live in California, there's immense laws about it. You can't have a lot of different stuff. It's very European in that way. Yeah, but in certain places like Oklahoma. right, which is where all the Tiger King shit came out of. Like, sky is the limit, man.

You dream it, you can have it. Like, you can go there. It costs the same to buy a tiger as it costs to buy an iPhone over there, by the way. It's like $1,200 to buy a tiger. And you can just like roll down the street and grab one. No, it's nuts. Yeah, like you can do anything you like in Oklahoma. And that's why nobody lives there.

Well, I've heard the stat, and I haven't personally gone and counted, but that there's more tigers in the state of Texas than, exist in the wild. I bring that as well. Yeah, I think that's true. I believe it. Well, at 1,200 bucks, I mean, you know, if you grew up with, like, the cool guy in your neighborhood had a tiger, the first time you get up to $1,200, I'm like, you'd be buying a cub. Yeah, absolutely. A cub before a car.

Wait, real quick, so what part of Scotland do you live in? So I live in England, but I traveled up to Scotland for that specific video. So I live in the center of England. I'm a from a place, sorry, from a place called Coventry. You probably never heard it. No. Have you heard of Birmingham? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know Birmingham. Yeah, right. Well, yeah, it's near there. So growing up in close proximity, because Scotland is, Scotland's part of the United Kingdom, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Being a little kid, like when I was a little kid, I was like, as soon as I can pay for my own vacation. I'm going to go find the Loch Ness monster, right?

Because you captivated by this stuff. Being in close proximity to it, like, did you have a fascination with Loch Ness? Nah. I'm not into crypto stuff. It's not my thing. I can't get on board with it. You know, you know, like, lumping the thylacine?

No, I can't. I really can't, you know. This is why he despises Neil Waters because he's essentially... Yeah, it must be. I've never understood it, though, like, I put it in the same category as like ghosts and that. I just don't really understand it.

I resent that, sir. Ghosts are real. Careful. Peter's a tinfoil hack guy, so just heads up here. You can say anything you like because we don't care about upsetting him, but just know deep down he's crushed. No, that is fair enough. So, Cugie, you like animals.

Yeah? Yeah. Ritap, do you like animals? I fucking love animals. Patrick? Yep. Where are you going with this? I'll feed you baby birds.

Don't worry. It's coming. Would you say that you love animals? Yeah. With all my heart. Yep. Me too. Would you ever say that you've been in love with an animal?

Oh, no. No. Just jerking off to an orangutan count? Just stop. Don't say that. Children watch this show. Yeah, my 10-year-old niece listens to every episode.

But... Yeah, moving on. All right, in the news, this week, an aquarium worker from the 70s, a man named Malcolm Brenner, age 63, was in love with an animal. And it wasn't his fault. It wasn't.

According to his claim, he developed an intimate relationship with a dolphin at a Florida water park in the 70s because the dolphin seduced him into a sexual relationship. Oh, yep. Wow, was it a battle-nows? Yeah, it was.

It was. How does a dolphin seduce you? Yeah, go ahead. These are the questions. You said sexual relationship, and is that, are you going to tell us, like, something actually happened there, or like. Look, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not Joe Brenner or whatever, Malcolm Brenner,

but it did, you know, it did. Oh, Jesus, Christ, at least oral. So he explains, to Peter, he explains, you know, That his first animal encounter was his dog. Everything, like, he didn't really like animals. Like, his dog was whatever. He later said that he was in the tank working with the dolphin, and I started rubbing her along her back,

working my way to her flukes and her tail, and I was rubbing her and moving my hands toward her tail. Dolly, the dolphin's name, was slowly rolling around her long axis. Blah, blah, blah. He continued. At first, I discouraged her. I wasn't interested.

But after some time, I thought if this was a woman, I can't even read this out loud I can't either would I come up with these rationales and excuses oh man I don't want to keep going You get where this is going No

It was when the park was closing It was when the park was closing That we successfully eluded the male Dolphin so we could spend some alone time Yeah this is a direct quote by the way It's so good Listen to the next part Hold on man I don't know if all

After figuring out the logistics and positioning, Brenner and Dolly's relationship became more personal than rubs and nudges. If you can't read between the lines here, yes, they had sex. Gross. Dossi was eventually moved to another

amusement park. She died a few months later. Brenner believes she committed suicide because she lost her love, which was this weirdo dude. Where did I read? Real quick. Just this type of shit. That's all I want to read in the news. There's a picture.

of the guy, right? He's, he's 63 now, and then there's photos of him and Dolly together when he was a young man. Yep. He's not like a fucking weird look. He looks like anyone's just like dad. Like he's like a well-dressed, well-kempt man telling this wild story. Thoughts? I'm not with it. I'm not with it. Of course not. I'm not with it. I'm not with it. Cookie? So, Cookie, yeah, what are your thoughts on this sexual relationship? between man and dolphin? Yeah, I'm not about it, to be honest. It's not my thing that, you know? He does like a normal bloke as well, isn't it?

What's going on? So let's break it down. Let's break it down a little bit. So scientists estimate that dolphins have approximately the intelligence of a four-year-old child, okay? I have a two-year-old child, and he understands absolutely everything, by the way. So a four-year-old, and granted, no four-year-old should be having sex, of course. But a four-year-old, that's a lot of comprehension, right?

Yeah. They understand a lot. So the argument to be made here is that this dolphin is intelligent. It understands what's going on. It's an adult. It's not a child, but it has the comprehension of a human child. Did the dolphin make this choice? Was it, was it, did the, was the dolphin in love with Brenner? Well, that was what I was going to say is, can a, can a dolphin consent? It just sounds like a dolphin peterfo to me. Yeah, I agree. I think that's what we're all getting here. Yeah, I mean, but can a dolphin consent? That's the big question. Well, I would say yes. I would say yes. That dolphin could very easily swim away.

I'm sorry. I know it's only in a tank. That is true. I know it's in a tank. I know it's in a tank. But if that dolphin did not want to be rub, tugged, whatever else happened, it could easily flip its tail and swim away from Mr. Brenner. I mean, yeah.

But, come on. Peter, give us your thoughts. Give us your thoughts. We don't know what, I mean, he, this is from his, this is his story. I mean, maybe he was being rougher. We haven't heard from Dolly the Dolphin yet. Yeah, maybe he was like, maybe her nose was stuck in the pool fucking valve return. Who knows?

I'm just saying, like, if, if this was him having, allowing a male dolphin to have sex with him, sure. I'd say for sure, consensual, because the dolphin made that choice. but on the receiving end of this, there is no way to know, and the dolphin is dead so we can't get her story. That's all I'm saying. That's a very, like, 1980s point of yours. You're not looking at sexual equality here when you're saying that, Peter. No, I'm just saying that, well, you're victim blaming, sir. I don't know.

Yeah, probably. Dead air. This is the most uncomfortable story that we've been. ever had. I was going to say this is, this is your fault for bringing this up. It is, but I couldn't believe it. I saw the headline and I was like, nah, this is nonsense. Like, this is just going to be like some guy jerked off a dolphin or something. No, no, no. Right. It's, uh, it's more than that. It's very intimate. The word love is thrown around a lot in the article. Yeah. Did you guys watch my octopus teacher, the Netflix documentary? Yeah, I did. I'm going to get, I'm going to get thrown

across the calls for this. I couldn't. I tried. I, I think. I thought it was so boring. Yeah, I've heard a lot of that. I haven't seen it. Okay. Apparently, there's some very intimate relationship. I don't think it's sexual, but between a human and an octopus. There is.

Yes. They definitely appear to have a connection. No, so I'm the only one who's seen it? 15 out of 15 people that I talked to said it was the most boring thing they'd ever seen. Yeah. I mean, you really got to be in a certain mind frame. Yeah. That's a thing.

And the first like 15 minutes, which is when I turned it off after, is just a guy in a chair talking to the camera. And he's just like, yeah, you know, I grew up not loving the ocean. And then I started to like the ocean. And you're like, dude, who gives a shit? Like, let's see the octopus or fuck off. And it's just like it goes on. It's so waffly. I don't know, man.

And I know that people are going to be upset about this because people love that show. But I could not. I just didn't give it enough time in fairness. Cookie. So you're doing content. and steering, I think, seems like maybe away from the... You're steering towards, like, doing wildlife adventure, nature stuff.

What's, like, your fantasy expedition? Like, the one that's your number one bucket list. Like, I want to go see this animal in this place. The thylosine would obviously be, like, wicked, right? But I want to see an orca. I've never seen one. I just think they're wicked. And we have them in Scotland.

I was going to say, you have them there. You don't even have to travel that far. No, exactly. And it's like, I would just love to. That's probably, that's a bucket of this thing. Maybe a Jaguar as well. Oh, nice. Yeah, Forrest, you just had a cool Jaguar encounter.

Very cool. I don't know if you saw that cookie. I was down in the Pontinal earlier this year. And just filmed with an iPhone is this, this beautiful jag coming down and grabbing this Cayman and pulling it up the bank. And, I mean, it was just a wild thing to see. Just absolutely. Yeah, man.

Crazy animals, man. Just mental. The strength is unbelievable. Strongest bite force of all big cats, yeah? I just saw John Randano for us. I was just with Rendonno last week. Oh, nice. I love that guy.

Audio guy on Jaws of Alaska. And the shoot that I could have gone to and didn't, because I'm a fucking idiot. Because Orcas are like, it's definitely my number one thing that I want to see in the wild. and they had an amazing orca encounter. And John was the audio guy. And him, you know, he's kind of a hippie.

He's like this seven-foot-tall hippie dude with longshaggy. He's a huge man, yeah. He delivered his own babies at home. Like, he's such an interesting guy. I love him. He's awesome. But he was like, dude, like, this isn't me being weird, but the sounds of all those orcas communicating,

because there's like 60 of them, he's like, I, like, floated up, and I was watching our boat from like 20 feet above. Like, it literally, like, separated my brain body barrier. Apparently an out-of-body experience, but, yeah, I missed that one. I was going to go to the shoot, and then, like, something came up, and I just got, like, lazy and was like, I'm just not going to go to LAX right now. And then they had a two-and-a-half-hour encounter with six different pods of orcas all frolicing together. It was wild.

Yeah, it was absolutely nuts. Yeah, orcas are a good one, man. And that's cool because it's a very obtainable one. By the way, I always thought seeing Jaguars was not obtainable because it's a very cryptic large cat. I mean, not not obtainable, right? But like, oh, if you go to South America in the right habitat for a month, you might get a glimpse of one, like, you know, running across the road.

Not at all, which I found out when I went to the Pontenol. They see them practically daily. They witness them hunting. So you go to this area of the Pontinal, Porto Joffrey, and you jump in a little boat, and they're just these little, you know, shitty like tiller drive speedboats, and you go up and down the stretch of river that's, it's long. It's like a 15, 20 mile stretch of river, but every single day, they're spotting jaguars hunting that river because the jaguars come down there to hunt Cayman.

So I totally, and this is coming from someone who understands quite a bit about, like, wildlife sightings. I thought it was like a fluke, like only if you get really lucky, do you get to see one? If you go to the right area in Brazil, to the Pontinell, to Porto Joffrey, and you give yourself three days, four days, I'd say it's like 100% that you're going to see a Jaguar there. I mean, it's unbelievable how consistent it is. Would that be because it's like, they just don't care? You know, like, they're just like, I'm the man of the house. It's a fascinating story. So Jaguars, the world over, I guess central to southern America, because that's where they range, were, you know, they are shy, they're cryptic, they're very rarely seen, they were prosecuted

heavily because they were eating cows for cattle farming, especially in Brazil, which is a huge cattle nation. And this area in Brazil, in the Pontinale, well, one, there's just naturally a lot of Jaguars. There was cattle ranching, their numbers were driven down and down and down and down. a great group called Pantera started, you know, started to conserve them, but only after what happened, which was that the Pontinol is, it's the floodplains of the Amazon, and so the fishing there is outrageous. I mean, it's just like the fishing's bananas. Like, you can't put a hook in the water without catching something.

And so these fishermen used to go out and go fishing there commercially, and they would throw, like, their scraps and bycatch on this particular area of the bank. They basically all get together and clean their fish and probably drink a beer and smoke a doobie and throw out their fish. And sure enough, one jaguar at some point in time started coming down and nibbling on these fish scraps and these drunken fishermen would start throwing the jaguar fish and feeding it basically. And the thing got more and more habituated

until one guy basically was like, oh, we can do tourism out of this. You know, like we can bring people here to see this jaguar because people travel all around the world and spend months looking for a jaguar. and that blossomed into what is now Porto Joffrey and the Pontinal, which is a dozen different outfitters with a dozen different boats, driving up and down every day, all communicating with each other, a huge swath of protected land that's owned by Pantera,

that organization I mentioned. It's amazing, all because some fishermen started feeding a cat, you know, like 15 years ago. That's fucking crazy. And now I just Googles, how many jaguars do you think are left in the wild? 10,000. Okay.

So. You guys? Five. Five or five thousand? Oh, five thousand. Sorry, yeah, five. Yeah, five. Four thousand nine hundred ninety-nine, baby.

Let it roll. What a dick. Peter, Peter, Forest wins. So there's fifth, they're estimating there's about 15,000 jaguars left in South America. Okay. Whereas there's only. 3,900 tigers in the wild. So almost five times more jaguars than tigers.

We were, dude, when we were in Vietnam in that area where they have wild tigers, yeah. Man, it was like one of those things where scary for sure, but also like, can you fucking imagine if we just, imagine just coming around a bend and seeing a tiger, a wild tiger staring at you. I would love to. I would absolutely love to. No, I would love to.

And I have zero interest in visiting the country of India. I don't know why it's just never appealed to me. Like just the culture and the Taj Mahal and the fooos, whatever. Like it just doesn't appeal to me. It's just somewhere that's never been of interest to me. But without any doubt, I will go to India, go to like Nagarohole or one of those places to see wild tigers. I just, I must do it. And I don't care if I don't go to a single, you know, Mumbai or any of the cities,

if I miss it all and just go straight to see the tigers. and leave, but I will go there just to see the tigers at some point. It just sounds too incredible not to. Yeah, you don't really associate India with, oh, this is going to be like awesome wildlife tourism, but it actually is.

Tons of leopards, tons of tigers. We did, Patrick, you remember we did this show Extincter Alive, the Lost Shark, and I shot that in Sri Lanka. Yeah. And you know, and this is again, my own ignorance. never really had much interest or fascination with Sri Lanka

loved it. I mean like could live there loved it like went there was blown away. There were elephants just like walking around the streets granted this was in a special area in the south of Sri Lanka. Elephants roaming around the streets there we saw leopards almost every day. The wildlife was super abundant. I loved the food and the people like Sri Lanka was incredible just an awesome, awesome place. I mean if you just Google image, Sri Lanka.

The fucking imagery is stunning. Yeah. It's an amazing place. Cookie, if you can't tell I not been anywhere. I've only been domestic in the United States. Was there anywhere you'd want to go? I was just in Chicago

and it was a terrible, terrible experience. I'd like to go about 45 minutes from here to the beach. That's it. I'm good. I'm done traveling for a year after my Chicago trip.

I'll tell you that. I just started following this Instagram site that's just awesome images of Finland. And I'm now convinced that that's my number one place. Not for wildlife, but just for a bit of adventure. And fucking just, it looks incredible. Have you ever been there, Cookie? I've never been there, but I've got the same vibes as you about that one.

It looks unreal. Yeah. So where's the coolest place you've ever been? Like, where's your favorite, what's your favorite adventure that you've done? New Zealand. New Zealand. Oh, nice. Which is, like, unreal place, man.

Like, it's, I fell in love with it. I went there by accident, really. Like, it's not like a funny story, but, like, we were just sort of, someone told us to, like, because we were going to Australia and they said, oh, you might as well go to New Zealand then. I was like, yeah, sure, sign me up, whatever. I got there, and I was like, oh, my God, this place is unreal. It's because there's no one there, right? It's like five million people.

It's double the size of the UK, and it's just, oh, it's bliss. It's just, oh, amazing. When you said you went by accident, I thought maybe it was like that episode of Full House where Michelle and Stephanie are supposed to get on the flight to Oakland, but it's actually Auckland. No? You guys don't remember that one? I haven't seen it, but the setup's funny. I think it's a great time.

New Zealand is incredible. Did you notice the road kill when you were there? No, not really. Really? I didn't know as much. There's so much of it. Really? What?

A north or south or just everywhere? Mostly the South Island. Yeah, South Island. The South Island, it's like, if you were walking down the road, you'd be hard pressed to take a step without stepping on a dead stout. There's just millions and millions of roadkill weasels that were, I believe they were brought in to eradicate another invasive species. And then the stotes went fucking crazy. Yeah. Possum and stowa.

everywhere and they have no natural predators so there's a gazillion of them and uh if you drive a road at night it's like driving on an oil slick of dead animals it's it's wild um anyway listen cookie so you do uh you know you have a youtube channel it's all about different wildlife and adventure stuff one of the things that we do on this show if you're not familiar is we get a lot of questions and comments and dms from the brosners our our audience and i got one from kansas and i got one from Cameron Davis, Cam underscore 44 underscore Davis. He says, my sophomore class is split up over who would win in a fight? A polar bear or an elephant?

I think, I'm not, actually, I'm not going to read the rest. No, I will. I think it's a polar bear. What do you, the broducer, and the brofessor think? Who would win? Let's let cookie go first. Ediphon. Okay, so are we assuming this is a bull male?

Can you elaborate? Yeah, let's go big bull male elephant, big male polar bear. bear. Just big gnarly animals. Okay. Polar bears struggle against warruses and that. They can't get through their skin. And I just think the same to an elephant. An elephant's just going to yeat it out of the way and just say

shut up, go away, what are you doing? Okay. That's fair. That's fair. Peter, your thoughts? I was actually going to say polar bear because they're so vicious and scary and I think they're just, well, no, elephants

are really smart too, but the skin thing now has me reconsidering because it's true. I feel like they just give up and tuck tail and run. Well, keep in mind, keep in mind, Peter, for your choice, and I just want to point this out, I'm interrupt you. Pride of Lion will take down an elephant. You know, they do it. When they're really hungry, Pride of Lion, and they're a hell of a lot smaller and less vicious than a polar bear. That is a priority for. Yeah. Yeah. They're working in groups. I mean,

you know, but I'm still, I'm sticking with polar bear just because. Because, you know, I don't know shit, but they're vicious. They're brutal. I've seen those Coca-Cola commercials during Christmas. So when you watch the pride of lion, you know, it's always multiple lions. They're taking down an elephant. I would say almost every video I've seen, it's either a mother elephant or a smaller juvenile elephant.

And really, the way that they kill it is they have to get it on its side, right? They have to fell it in a way, right? They do that by biting the shit out of its legs. They're hanging off of it. There's always more than one of them. I've never seen a Pride of Lion take down a big bull mail. Nope. I'm going to go elephant.

I'm going to go elephant. Yeah, it's an easy choice, bud, for, what was our guy's name? Cameron? It's elephant wins, for sure. I know you say polar bear to your class. Nah. It's not even close. The size, the strength.

Um, you know, I don't think that people, and polar bears are big, man. If you've ever flown into the Anchorage airport where they've got that mount of the largest polar bear ever shot, Patrick, you've been there. You know what I'm talking about, right? I actually know, I haven't been into Anchorage. I've always flown in and out of Juneau. In the airport in Anchorage, they have a stuffed polar bear that was the largest one ever shot. I don't know if it was real or a replica. You stand next to it and you're looking up at this like 13, 14, 14 foot tall thing. And it's like, oh, my God, it's impressive. But that is like a, a special. back next to standing to, compared to standing next to an elephant. I mean, they are just so massive.

The width of their heads and those big tusks. And, you know, I did some work on elephants earlier this year, which is going to air next year, I think, in February. And, you know, I won't give away too much, but we were right next to some elephants while they were sleeping to the point that I had my hands on them. And they are so, so, so big, big African elephants. It's funny because I grew up around elephants and I even rode them as a kid, you know, back before that was sort of known to be a terrible thing. No, that was a thing, man. It was big. I was still doing it

in Asia all the time and I don't support it, of course, but as a kid we did, you know, that's just what you do. Never really rode them like the saddle with the beating stick and stuff. Just our neighbors had a game farm and so we'd go like swimming with them and like jump on their backs and stuff. Yeah, yeah. But I had sort of forgotten the size of them and when I was in Thailand

10, 12 years ago now, I did do the elephant riding thing again before it was sort of known that it was so negative. And the little Asian elephants are so, like, small and cute. And you're like, oh, elephants aren't that big. I must have just thought they were big when I was a kid. And being back in Africa this year and having hands on them. I mean, like, literally, like, I put my hand on the bottom pad. And I have big old mitts. Like, you know, I wear a size 12 shoe, and I've just got big hands and big feet. And, um, no, no, no. Very, very average penis.

But just putting my hand on the bottom of an elephant's pat, I mean, it's just like, it's insane. It's like putting your hand on a freaking car door. I mean, it's just crazy the size of these things. Yeah, it really is. So how many powder bears to beat an elephant? Three. How many, you reckon three?

How many potter bears to beat an elephant? Three. I think that's a good number. I think three. Two. I even think two have a shot, man. Because once they're working together and they're going for the neck, and they are clever. They know how to hunt. Like you said, pointing out walrus, right?

Like, they know how to take down walrus and stuff. If you had, man, if you had three polar bears working together, they'd take over the fucking planet, let alone the elephant. I mean, that is a terrifying proposition. So when I was in, I was in Greenland, we, the, for a while, we were doing some crossing the ice sheet, and we had this guy that we brought in, who was a Arctic explorer named Doug Stout. And he does a bunch of stuff in the Amazon, too, through his his company, but he's done a few solo crossings of Antarctica. He's crossed Greenland's ice sheet and traversed Siberia. Cool.

And he's just picture this. I really want you, everyone listening and you especially cookie, to go deep on this one. You're in your tent. You're all bundled up. You're in Siberia. You're alone. I'm already cold. It's dark out.

The wind is whipping. Teeth are chattering. and you all of a sudden go, oh, this is weird, I have to take a shit. So you climb out of your tent, you walk a little ways away from your tent, pull your pants down, you're taking a shit,

it's dark, and you hear something move behind you. You spin in your squatted position, shine your flashlight around, eventually catching the eye shine and illuminating the face of an adult polar bear. standing 30 feet away from you. Think about this. Yeah, I mean, so are we...

And then what? This really happened. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. No, he pulled his pants up without wiping, and he just did what you're supposed to do with a bear and maintained eye contact, walked backwards, zipped himself into his tent, and just waited.

Oh, and the bear prowled around, and walked around the tent a bunch of times and eventually just kind of fucked off. He didn't sleep the whole night and then woke up in the morning and saw tracks going away and never saw it again. Terrifying.

Legit. The scariest part of that story that gives me anxiety is being in the tent with the bear walking around it. It's just like, ugh, God, no way. I thought you were going to say the no wiping.

I do that on the red. Isn't it funny how, so I've, you know, spend a lot of time in tents in Africa. And a tent is literally a wall of a bed sheet, right? It's nothing. It's a piece of cloth.

And yet when you go inside a tent, you're like, I'm fine now. I'm safe. I'm indoors. Dude, I've come inside. Like, this is my home and I'm okay here. Nothing could be further from the truth, especially when dealing with polar bears. Like, you can't put your fucking food in a trash can. Even here on my road in Santa Barbara, let alone like, you know, you can't put your food

in a trash can without a bear safe lid. And you get in a tent and you're like, I'm all snuggled up cozy in my sleeping bag. It's down. I'll be fine for the night. You will not be fine for the night. Like a polar bear wants to come through that tent. It is coming through that tent. I have a great story about this from when I was young.

Me and my brother were fighting and like we always did. And I had a tent set up in the front yard because I was like, you know, I stayed in the tent over the night before or whatever. And I We had this big sliding glass door In the front room where he was sitting watching TV And we had our fight You know, I was pissed, parents weren't home I went into the garage and I grab his bicycle out of the garage

And I walk around the front of the house And there's a couple steps that go up to the patio in front of the glass door The tent's like right behind in the front yard And I get his attention and I just lift the bike up And I throw it on the steps You know And then I run into the tent and I padlock with a tiny little padlock, the two zippers together. It's literally feet from where I just threw the bike on the steps.

He comes out of the fucking living room and I'm in the tent thinking I'm safe. And all I see is a giant shadow from afar with the bike. First thing he does, it gets smaller, throws it on the tent. and then just wraps me up in the tent and just proceeds to pummel me. And the tent's locked with a padlocked zipper. I can't get out. Like, it's ridiculous. It was the most ridiculous thing ever in hindsight, you know?

Yeah, because you thought you were safe in the tent. Now, imagine if your brother was a polar bear that was hungry. So we're getting kind of off topic, but I can't believe we didn't discuss this. You guys remember Jordan Mayshock. He came on the show, a good buddy of mine. Yeah. The zookeeper? Yeah.

What's that? Oh, no, not the zookeeper. No, never mind. That was a different. No, Jordan. No, Jordan's just, he's a tech card, but he goes on a lot of adventures and spearfishing stuff with me. So when we were, Jesus, we had to be like 18, 19 years old. Myself, Jordan, and Nick Mancuso, all friends of the pod, we went to Catalina to go fishing.

We went in February, which if you've ever been anywhere in Southern California in February, it's the worst month. Now, the weather's still always good. It's freezing cold. There's no game fish around. You know, none of us had the appropriate gear, but we were 18 years old. We went camping at Catalina. We went to two harbors. And Nick and I were sitting at the sort of campsite, you know, picnic bench that they have around the fire pit, and Jordan was sleeping in. And we're waiting for Jordan to get up so that we could go fishing or diving or whatever it was for the day.

And Nick, as you might have gained from the podcast, like myself, he's very good at creating little, you know, eukles-like contraptions to catch animals. Now, we're sitting there. We're eating our pancakes or whatever for breakfast. and Nick starts throwing breadcrumbs out. Sure enough, these pigeons start coming in to eat the breadcrumbs. So he quickly like fashions like a cooler with a stick, you know, that you pull and you catch the things. And this is a terrible story, but it's so funny. And, you know, Nick goes to work while we're making breakfast.

Jordan's still fast asleep in the tent, throws some breadcrumbs out, pulls the stick, and under the cooler catches like three pigeons. Okay? So then Nick reaches in with his arm and he grabs the pigeon. He's got three pigeons in his hand. just like Skyrat street pigeons, like, that happen to have inhabited Catalina because so many people go there. And he's like, grab a zip tie. I'm like, all right, what are you thinking? So I grab a zip tie, right? And he's like, you got it? I'm like, yeah. He's like, all right, Jordan's still

sleep. I'm going to throw these pigeons in the tent, close the zipper and you zip tie it. And I'm like, all right, let's do it. Let's do it. So we creep over to the tent. And they're just those like little Coleman shitty like two-man tents, you know, and we each have one. And Nick throws the pigeons in, close the zip tie, and for about five seconds, nothing. Like, you just see the pigeons flapping around trying to escape in the tent, and it's just still. And then all of a sudden, the tent just like explodes as Jordan pops up. And he's like, what the fuck? There's birds in my tent.

And he starts, like, trying to get out. And the zippers are zip tied together. So he's going, zip, zip. And both zippers are traveling the full extent of the tent zipper. And he gets so pissed off. And he's like, I, because we, granted, we've done this kind of thing to Jordan a few different times. We once trapped him in a porta potty. But he gets so pissed off trying to get out.

And we are rolling on the floor laughing that he rips the tent, shreds it, and comes like Ace Ventura birthing out of this tent with pigeons flying up like in a glorious manner around him. Oh, why didn't you film it? Oh, my God. It was so good. And Nick and I just took off because he came out of that big furious. And we're like, he's going to hit one of us.

Oh man, that was funny. That's good old-fashioned animal cruelty for you right there. I know. Boy, it was funny. Yeah. So, Cookie, one video I wanted to ask you about on your channel, because I actually didn't know that there are snakes in the United Kingdom, which is probably fucking stupid because I guess why wouldn't there be?

But you made a video about finding a European viper in the UK. Forrest, first of all, you're a big herb guy. Do you know about the European viper? I do. I made it a huge big. mission of mine to find one when I was in the United Kingdom for a few months. And I did after about a week of trying. So I've seen one myself. Very, very cool animal, but I don't want to poach the story. I want to hear about cookies experience. It was a weird one because

like we've got four snakes in the UK, three are native, one's non-native. What's the non-native species? Ascolopian. What is Escalopian? What is it? I'm not really sure. But it's arboreal. So it's climbs up the trees and that. Okay. You can find it in London. Interesting. And you've also got like, uh,

I didn't know about that. But anyway, please, yeah, go, go ahead. You've got, um,

other things as well. So you've got the, the grass snake, which is quite common. You've got the smooth snakes, quite rare. Uh, and then you've got the European viper.

We call it the Adder. And, um, yeah, it's like, I've known about these, like, snakes in the UK,

but I, it's another one of those things, but I just don't think people know about it. Um, especially in the UK, Because like I said, our wildlife here is shocking. It's just rubbish. It's just nothing.

Like you guys all have like bears, wolves, like, it's just everything. You guys used to have all of that, by the way. Yeah. Being European, you just decided to get rid of it all as quickly as possible. Exactly. Yeah. Like the most interesting thing we probably got now is a ball. Do you know what I mean?

It's like, yeah. And even they're rare. So it's like, it's. Right. Yeah. You can have some of ours. Not rare here. I mean, it would probably like do us some good over here, you know?

But, yeah. So the snake, like, it's one of those things where I thought, right, we can set out on a mission to try and find one of these. It's quite difficult because I think some reports have it by 2032, at the current rate, they'll be extinct in the UK. They're in like mad decline. So basically I was trying to research, like find areas of like where they would most likely be. And I found one place in the Forest of Dean, which is like Gloucestershire in the UK. And there was a guy there He said like, I see one regularly in this spot

I was like, okay, I'll chance it And as luck would have it Yeah, that day, I just went down there It's only like, what, 90 miles away or something like that And that's a lot It was It was a cool trip though, you know, like I seen one of them But it was, yeah, I just got there

And we had this like beautiful view Over the Forest of Dean It's like this big pine forest And then, yeah, just looked down to my left, and it's just coiled up this adder. And I was like, oh, Christ, it was a female one. So it's like brown and black and ours. It's just a wicked. I noticed, though, Cookie, that you didn't immediately start freehandling it.

I know this is killing. Not allowed. Oh, really? No, you can't. I think because they're protected now. And, like, you can get heavy fines, I think, for handling one of those in this country. Oh, that's so interesting. I definitely didn't handle the one that I found when I was there.

You heard it here. No, I said I didn't. He said he didn't. No, that's what I'm saying. Okay, if it was allowed, would you have handled it? Are you that type of guy? I'm really not a snake guy. I think they're cool animals.

There's just something about the way they coil up that scares me. As a joke. Yeah, I mean, it's the S shape where they make. when they're like, I don't know, actually, I've held one, and I didn't like it. I think it was just some sort of Python at a zoo. And I was like, I don't like this. I don't like the way it looks at me because it's so much faster, you know, and it's like, if it wants to, it's going to have me.

And I'm like, I don't like it. Patrick, is that the same experience that you've had when we go on trips or like when we went on that hiking trip? Remember that backpacking trip we did? So I generally trust that they're not going to come at me. You know what I mean? but no, I don't love snakes. I don't want one in my house.

I didn't like when you used my shirt to let the bite. I knew you were going to talk about the cobra. I was like, there's no way the shirt thing doesn't come up. No, when you were free handling the cobra, I fucking shimmied up a tree. It was a very big cobra in fairness. And it was terrifying. And it did cover your shirt in venom. Yeah.

So, yeah, I'm like Cookie and Peter. I just don't know enough about them. I haven't spent time around them. We didn't have snakes where I grew up, and I just don't know how they move, you know? Isn't it fascinating that, and I think it has something to do with like the Bible, I don't even know.

We as a species, human beings are intrinsically scared of snakes. You can take a newborn infant. Yeah, you can take an infant human baby and put it on the floor and put a snake across the room, and it will scream and cry and run away. Like, you have to be taught to not fear them.

There is something, and by the way, a newborn baby will walk directly under the 405 into oncoming traffic, zero question. You know what I mean? Like, no fear whatsoever. You have to be taught to not be scared of snakes. I handle them regularly. Shut up, Peter.

Yes. No, that's exactly what I'm attempting to do. But, no, but isn't it weird that we are born with a fear of these animals? And it is 100% instinctual. Like, it comes from your, core level to be scared of snakes. Do you know why though?

I've killed a lot of people. Go ahead, Cookie. Well, I might have going to say the same thing. Isn't it like through the primal instincts we had like way back when, when there might have been like bigger snakes and bigger spiders? Because I think spiders is in that same category, isn't it? I think so. Yeah, I haven't tested it like I have the snake theory. But I think it's that sort of thing though, isn't it?

Where it's like, why is that instant fear? Because I'm scared of spiders. I hate them. Like I got this irrational sort of fear. Like if one's near me, I'm like, no, I can't be dealing with that. Full on arachnophobia. Honestly, mate, it's awful. I have my, one of my best friends since I was a little kid has extreme arachnophobia.

He would have consistent night terrors about spiders on him. Oh, wow. Wow. Just a fucking terrified. A giant, super strong, super tough guy melts at the thought of a spider. And we lived together in L.A. He was doing stand-up comedy. And he lived across from me.

We lived in this big fucking house with a bunch of dudes. And I was like just about to go to bed. I see the TV's lighting up the wall. And I see this fucking beast of a spider. It's just the biggest spider I've seen in L.A. And I was like, what the fuck is that? So I just go over. I don't even want to deal with it because I need to go to sleep.

I just take a sock. I grab this big spider off. the wall with a very loose grip. I just run to my door. I open it and throw the... I was just throwing it into the hallway, just getting it out of my room. No kill. As soon as I release it, I see my roommate, Owen, who is the one who's scared of spiders,

carrying some girl, like as if they just got married that I've never seen before. And he's right at the top of the stairs with some girl that he just brought home from the bar, carrying... You know, she's awake and conscious. They're having fun. Right, right. And I just released the sock. and I just go, oh my God.

And the sock just goes and hits him directly in the mouth. Oh, God, did he drop the girl? No, he's just like, what the fuck? I was like, dude, and I just started crying, laughing. He was like, what? I was like, there was a spider this big wrapped up in that sock. And he literally just went, oh, and just fell backwards. It was one of my favorite things that's ever happened to me.

That's great. One of my favorite things that ever happens is about to happen on this podcast because guys, I think it's time. Don't you? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Here we go. To do the thing? I think I know what time it is.

Do you know what time it is? Time. What? All right. Production quality is so high. Oh, yeah. So, Cookie, here is our Brosner's favorite thing. We do something called the Battle Royale.

It usually leads to arguments. almost always. Yes. Here's what we're going to do. We throw out a scenario, and then sometimes we do food, sometimes we build a cryptid. Sometimes we, you know, we do all sorts of shit. Here's the challenge this week. This is in your honor here.

In your honor. Like in that dolphin's honor earlier. Yeah. You have a, you're currently embroiled in a tiff with Neil Waters. Which we haven't got into yet, but we're going to. do it, which, you know, largely relates to him circulating some photos of, as he described, a indisputable evidence of a thylacine. I don't think any of us here believe that was a thylacine, whether he thought it was or not, I don't know. But here's what we're going to do. We're

going to have a competition. You are going to create a sighting, a fake sighting of an animal. Okay? So we're going to do a draft. What you have to pick is what animal. are you going to circulate these photos of? What is the location where you've purported to see this animal? Maybe it's a little weird. Maybe this animal shouldn't even be where it is. And what's going to be your sort of strategy to make it as believable as possible? You know, are you going to walk around Northern Australia with a beer and release a cryptic

videos saying that you've seen it? What's going to be your strategy to make it go crazy viral so that billions of people are aware of your sighting? Now, who would do something like that, Patrick? This is outrageous. That's just a fun thing. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to do it as a draft, so you do one pick at a time.

Let's let Cookie go third so that he sort of sees how we do it. Forrest, you go first. So it's an animal, location, and then your strategy to make it go viral. Got it, got it. Okay. This is good. So, all right, I'm going to play to my strengths here, which is that I'm relatively well known for finding

stuff that nobody else can find, right? As Forrest Galante, a host of Extincter alive, people believe me. Now, ha ha ha ha, ha, I'm going to dupe them. I'm going to make millions. So I'm going to go generic, right? Because I think this is the one that wins me the jackpot.

I, and I'm going to tell you how and when and where soon, I'm going to find a big foot. Interesting. Interesting. That's the big one. That is a big one. Yeah. A saskwatch, if you will. I will.

Okay. Okay. I see what you're doing. You're saying because you're sort of known as a guy who looks for extant or possibly extinct species, real animals, you're going to use that to your benefit and go for a cryptid. Ah, smart. Exactly. Exactly. And people are going to believe me because I'm the extinct animal guy.

I've found stuff nobody else can find. They're going to buy this Bigfoot story and I'm going to make, I'm going to be so rich. Okay. I'll go second. I'll go second here. Okay. I'm going to start by not drafting my animal or setting up my strategy. I'm going to start with my location.

Okay. Because it's really, it's the location that's going to make this thing go crazy. Okay. Central Park of New York City. I need to say nothing. I need to say nothing else. You'll find out why later. Okay.

Very good. Cookie. You're up. You can pick any of the three to get started. Sorry, Patrick. Sorry. You can pick any of the three to get started. The animal, the location, your release strategy.

however you want to do this. It can be real, crypted. You get how it works. Okay. I'm going to go for the ocean. My thing's, I'm going to find it in the ocean. Okay. Got it.

Nice. Always believable, because the ocean is massive and we know very little about it. So I already believe that you've seen it, actually. Retep, you're up for two. Of course. What a mess this already is. Got it. Okay.

Okay. Then one more. What's your next thing? You do two. He hasn't figured out what his animal is. He has no idea. There's no idea what he's doing. Cookie, he's the Carl Pilkington of this podcast if you didn't already realize.

All right. Let's go. What's your location? Make it zippy. Just North America? That's your location. General. Could be Canada.

Could be Mexico. Could be. Okay. Cookie, do you have something a little more intelligible to contribute? So do I have to do my story now. Story or animal, either one. Right. Okay.

So I think I'm going to go with, I was flying over the Pacific and all of a sudden the plane just gave up. And I come into a crash landing, just like you lost. Yeah, yeah. To a crash landing and then bang. Crash, everyone dies except me. I'm now in a Wilson situation. How are you facilitating this? Are you just going out with the story

and hoping nobody fact-checked the airplane crash? Or are you actually going like broken style? I don't know if you guys remember that movie where he makes the train crash. Anyway, are you making, are you creating terrorism? Are you killing people? Are you a terrorist? No, no, no.

I'm the only one that survives this plane and obviously I get off in the end. That's how we find out like this animal is actually around. So a crash, everyone dies. everyone dies, except me, obviously. What a story. I mean, that's going to go viral. Yeah. Oh, that's gone. I have to survive. You know, I've got to eat the people that are dead.

Yeah. Standard, you know, there's no like other wildlife on this island. So it's quite like, oh, it's pretty amazing, actually. Right. And where is this? Where is this? In the Pacific Ocean somewhere, it's just a random island of none of it ever found ever. General Pacific, got it. Okay. Yeah, it's just a dot. Yeah, it's a dot. Yeah. Okay.

We'll stay tuned to find out what you're going to find there. Very exciting. All right, so I'm in Central Park. I'm going to give you my strategy. So we're going to see this animal sort of soft focus in the background of a shot. Okay. That's going to help me cleverly disguise it a little bit, right, so that people who want to poke holes in it because it's a little out of focus, it's a little blurry, right?

Okay. That's how lenses work on cameras. Because in the foreground of the shot is we were doing a bikini shoot for a very popular social media influencer who posts bikini picks of her supple buttocks. So that is going to help it go viral because already we've got a huge audience. You know, we've got a girl in a bikini. It's good. And in the background, soft focus, you will see a to be determined animal. Got it.

Got it. That's perfect. I just thought it one. Okay. Yeah, he did. Let's get, let's get our only famous friend that's a bikini model from Instagram, Charlie Jordan, take her to Central Park. Yeah, exactly. And it's not me.

All right. Round yours out for us. Very good. Yeah, I will do. All right. Okay, so I've got Bigfoot, right? People are going to believe it because it's me launching this. I'm saying I've got Bigfoot.

Okay? This is going to take place Bellingham, Washington. Okay? It's very specific. I've never actually been to Bellingham, Washington. I don't know much about it. I know that it's up near the Canadian border. It's a coastal city.

It just makes sense, right? There's Redwoods. It's a small town. It's coastal Washington. We're on the outskirts of Bellingham, Washington. Also, when you say something like, oh, I saw the Bigfoot in Bellingham, Washington, instead of, hey, I saw the thing in North America, people actually believe you because you've given a specific location, Peter. So I've spotted a Bigfoot in.

Bellingham, Washington. Cookie gave the ocean until he was corrected, so fuck off. No, he had a tiny island in the Pacific. That's much more specific. Anyway, I'm writing down this because I'm not going to remember the name of that town I just said, Bellingham, Washington. So I've spotted Bigfoot in Bellingham, Washington. Now, here's how, right, how many people have spotted Bigfoot? A gazillion, right? They've all claimed it. We've never seen it. We've never proven it. I have to prove it. I have to go above and beyond.

So fortunately, I'm friends with Patrick DeLuca who works in the movie industry, and he knows a lot of very talented CGI-I-type people. So here I am, Forrest Galante, very reputable guy, well-known biologist, found things nobody else's found. I'm out on one of my night hikes, right? Do those in Extincter Alive? Yeah, night hike. I've got the IR camera, and I'm going, oh, my God, guys, I heard something. I don't know what it is.

Maybe I'm actually on a hunt for a different animal. Turn the camera around. Now, keep in mind, it's that grainy, shitty, infrared camera. Yeah, you got it. It's juggling around because I'm not Mitch. I don't actually know how to fucking operate a camera. So it's shooting around all over the place. And sure enough, Patrick has got me this perfect Bigfoot-esque creature in the background.

Its eyes are a little bit glowing. It's moving. I assume you know people that can do this, Patrick, because I certainly don't. Yeah, you do. So we get this beautiful, just a single shot, CGI, of this Bigfoot moving. through, release it on YouTube, put on my social media. I start by walking through Bellingham, Washington while drinking a beer going, guys, we've done it. You know, this is it. Just wait until you get tomorrow's video. I put the video on YouTube. It's all over social. Boom, Forrest Galante makes

a gazillion dollars. Definitely doesn't get called out for being a fraud or a loony or anything else. And that's it. There you go. So in the background of my bikini shoot, that's at night, right? So also my subjects lit up and the background's kind of dark. So it's soft focus. It's kind of dark back there. Through the background of the shot walks a single white rhinoceros in Central Park.

It's going to fucking people. They're going to shut the park down. No question. No question. Wildlife advocates are going to be out there picketing to keep the park shut down until the rhinoceros has been rescued. It's going to make international news. and I in no way have any strategy to profit off of it, unfortunately.

I'm going to say, I don't know how this works for you, but it's, yeah, that was not the challenge, though. The channel, the challenge was just to blow it up. Blow it up. And this will blow up. You get a shot of a white rhino cruising through Central Park in the background of a Charlie Jordan shoot. You got it. Yeah, exactly. That's front page news.

Very nice. All right. Cookie, you're on the island. Nothing to eat. You've eaten the people. You're documenting it because you're leaving this as your death. diary behind and you go into the ocean what do you find so actually before i get in the ocean uh i'm looking around i need some food i've ran out right it's a really bad time i'm going hungry right i find a cave

i walk into the cave and there are bones there are remains and i'm like oh shit what's going on what's over here do you know what i mean like what's happened like something's going on i turn around dragon dragon dragon did not be that coming dragon right now big scale cave ocean dragon this is amazing how are you gonna so did you okay I have so many questions but I'm not gonna get into it because we're gonna run out of time for mine and mine is obviously

yeah no no no no go ahead cooking no come around no no no I want to hear what you have to say stop talking over each other guggie speaks sorry there's a delay sorry it's in my end Dragons in the way, cave and that. I've got to get out of the cave. Dragons there. I think, oh, Christ, I have to fight it.

Got to fight it. Wow. So I chin it. I chin it. I give it a good one. Right. And then I leg it. Straight into the ocean.

I swim, fast as I can. I try and do some free diving. It doesn't work very well. I pass out. I get picked up by a boat. Tell the story. The man on the boat, his name is Graham. Graham.

That's important. Yep. I get back to my place in England. And then I go to movie producers. And I say, this is my story. we're going to go for them. See, that's pretty clever, too, because he didn't go to the press. He went to movie producers, knowing that the movie producers are going to leak this to the press, right?

And they're going to be like, hey, this guy saw a fucking dragon on an island. And we got the rights to his story. And we have the rights. Like, everybody wants to blow this up. That's good. And if there's one thing we know about producers, it's that they're gullible and stupid. So they will believe you. Very true.

Finish yours up. So we got a dragon, a white rhinoceros. and Bigfoot. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's big, it's flashy, but my strategy is not big or flashy. It's simply the fact that this is very probable, and this animal could very likely still exist.

Forrest will already be heading up my passenger pigeon research group of North America. Great. And I found as a passenger pigeon, since Forrest wants me to be more specific, it's very simple, just on a camping trip by myself, maybe in Yosemite. It doesn't matter. They were all over. There was billions of these birds before we came over from Europe. So it's very likely they exist. And it's simple. I mean, I'll use the Neil Waters method. I'm going to just put out a bunch of hype videos. Boom, boom, boom. Got something. I mean, and Forest will be doing this for our group that I've already created years in advance. Right. And the passenger pigeon, I mean, nobody can tell the difference. I'll just put a regular pigeon in my picture and maybe like Photoshop. I think there's, I think there's someone who could probably tell the difference, but maybe not.

Maybe not. I'll Photoshop it up. It's the most believable. It's the most believable. You know, you have me being like, listen, guys, we've been researching this for three years. We did it. We found the passenger pigeons. And Yosemite turns out.

Big place. A lot of places to hide. You know, they're up a poct dome somewhere. You know. Alex Honnold's, he's only one who's seen one. You know, he made it to the top. It's very clever. Very good, Peter.

Not always that I compliment your Battle Royale. So let's recap. So, Brozner's way in, let us know, leave us a vote, leave us a comment on the video wherever you want. Who won the fake animal sighting strategy Battle Royale? Was it Retep, where he had Forrest Galante in charge of the Passenger Pigeon Research Group of North America, where we found one in Yosemite? Was it Cookie who crashed Lost Style on a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific, went into a cave to forage for food in dire time, saw a dragon, swam out into the ocean,

and was picked up by a man named Graham, who took him to a deserted island. a movie studio where he told his story. Is it Patrick, who was on a photo shoot in Central Park with a most lovely lady with a voluptuous derrier when, sure enough, in the background of said shoot, crosses a white rhinoceros downtown Central Park in New York? That's going to cause some concern. Or does Forrest Galante himself coming out and saying he is filmed a Bigfoot in Bellingham, Washington at night on an IR camera while using CGI to prove his case.

with a not that cryptic CGI graphic. Does that cut it? Let us know what is the best fake animal sighting release story or is it just Neil Waters in his title scene? You guys weigh in, let us know. Also, Cookie, if you like Cookie, he has a

YouTube channel that's just called Cookie, where can people find you on Instagram? So, Instagram, Twitter, or anything else is Cookie 6994, right? It's my birthday, but it's a random jumble of numbers to some people. So it's a bit annoying, but yeah, 6994,

and you'll probably find me on anything else. Yeah, good follow if you like looking at cool videos of walruses, snakes, otters, or if you just want to see him challenge himself to throw a card into an apple, it's pretty good stuff. Should we get into the big thing, though? Do you have a few more minutes cookie or no? Yeah, man, go for it, yeah.

Oh, shit. Hey, everybody. We just did the crazy, most awesome podcast with Cookie, the YouTuber, all about the to goa, the Neil Waters, the thylacine sighting, and it got pretty personal, pretty nuts. There's some details that are going to absolutely shock you. It goes into the YouTube battle, Neil Waters problems with me, some crazy stuff going on with the fight between him and Cookie and their battle, you know, and we really go in depth on it, but didn't want to put it out here. I didn't want to be slandering anybody

publicly so head on over to the patreon like subscribe do whatever you need to do check it out get some in-depth behind-the-scenes look at the feud between cookie uh the wild times and uh neil waters check it out see you over there