Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #92 - Forrest Galante’s Amygdala VS Kings of Pain feat. Adam Thom & Rob Alleva

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

Joining Extinct or Alive host Forrest Galante and The Wild Times gang this week are the fellow wildlife nutheads from the TV and Snapchat series, Kings of Pain. Giving Forrest’s amygdala a run for its money, Adam and Rob reveal their worst bites and stings from some of the gnarliest animals with the wildest super powers (featuring the aftermath of a reticulated python bite). These guys are CRAZY!    This episode is one you don’t want to miss. We love you, brosteners! TWT #92 - The Breakdown 00:00 - INTRODUCING KINGS OF PAIN   02:02 - Who the HELL came up with Kings of Pain?!   03:15 - The Pain Index explained #science   04:02 - Another gnarly Forrest Galante spearfishing story   9:23 - Proof Forrest has an amygdala   9:37 - 16 foot reticulated python bite 23:15 - Faulty warrior wasps   25:03 - Hippo attack on the Nile   37:48 - Rove beetle superpowers   40:20 - Velvet ant pain review   42:20 - Adam slams Rob   42:32 - Wild facts about the slow loris (venomous primate?!) 52:43 - Retep gets deep   53: 46 - Extinct or Alive behind the scenes: Scolopendra (red centipede) sting remedy   54:47 - Giant Asian centipede sting pain review   56:34 - Longest lasting pain (hint: tarantula)   1:02:50 - Forrest’s amygdala strikes again   1:02:26 - Talkin’ pee-pee problems feat. candiru   1:04:52 - Kings of Pain bucket list   1:08:20 - Forrest lets a Nile croc bite his buddy’s nipple (typical)    1:10:26 - Pat goes full producer: pre-BR game 1:19:19 - BATTLE ROYAAAAAAALE, Kings of Pain Edition Rules: Choose 3 animals to bite/sting your enemy that will inflict the MOST pain WITHOUT killing the victim. You must also choose WHERE your enemy takes the bite/sting/etc. *No 2 picks from 1 category of animal (mammals, bugs, etc) *NOT a snake draft because Retep would never keep up with all these people   1:21:23 - Forrest’s picks Stone Scorpion Fish spice to the arch of your foot
2. Scolopendra giant centipede bite to the face
3. Rat bite(s) on the butt   1:23:22 - Adam’s picks Male platypus sting to the fingers Wandering spider bite (crazy superpower) Candiru up the pee-pee   1:24:38 - Retep’s picks Gila monster bite to the nipple Stingray barb to the TAINT specifically Box jellyfish sting to the face   1:28:00 - Rob’s picks Anaconda bite to the head Black piranha bite to the ‘worm’ 6 foot electric eel bite to the taint   1:29:30 - Papa P’s picks Human adult bite to the nuts Bombardier beetle acid to the uvula Hyena bite to the top of the foot   1:32:40 - OUTTRO & where to find the KINGS OF PAINNNNNN   Don’t forget to comment and vote who you think won this Battle Royale!   Leave a review on iTunes Apple Podcast: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/itunes-review/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wildtimespod/  Official Website: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/  Info: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/info  Merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch  Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod   

Wild Times. It's the Wild Times. It is a Sunday. I had four beers so far, and it's not even that late in the day. I don't care. Who's judging? This is the Wild Times podcast. Yeah, Rob's drinking.

Rob's drinking. I like it. Peter's got coffee. Very good. Very good. Wonderful. Well, that is the Wild Times episode number, Peter, any idea? 91.

Episode number 91. I am your host, Forrest Galante, the broologist, joining me. It's the ever-lovely Retep, the professor, PhD, and podcast. And how are you, Retep? Doing great. It's the weekend, having a little straight vodka in this glass. Gross. And just excited to have some fucking great guests on, and to see you guys makes my day. Yeah. Cheers mates. You know what, Forrest, just skip me. Get right to the guests. Just get right to the guests.

Good point. Yeah, nobody cares. All right. So joining us today, there is a homeless person and a fitness model from Instagram. We have my good buddies, the two and only, the Kings of Pain. Rob and Adam. What's going on, guys? How are you? How are you? Oh, there's the audience.

They relate to the party. I love it. No, but so anybody that doesn't know, Rob and Adam are two buddies of mine. I've known them for a couple of years now, what, three or four years at least. They are wildlife nutheads. They do much stupid or crazier shit than I do, and we're going to get it. into that. They are the co-hosts of History Channel's Kings of Pain.

What does that mean, guys? Well, I don't know if we're the Kings of Pain or the Animals are. We haven't quite determined that yet. So for those that may, on our podcast, if you've never seen the show, describe it. Describe what you guys do, because on face value, it's absolute lunacy. Well, I don't know if you've ever heard of Justin Schmidt, and if you're actually watching the podcast, that's his book right there in the corner,

The Sting of the Wild. Oh, cool. This dude was an entomologist, a bug guy, and he got what bitten stung by, or stung by around 70 or 80 species of wasp, bees, ants, and he made a pain index from like one to four. So you think like a honeybee, that's a two. It's like in the middle of the road.

And then you got some bastards like, you know, the tarantula hawk. that's a four or the warrior wasp. You know, actually, he did the warrior wasp. Didn't he add him? Yeah, he did. He didn't do the executional wasp,

but he did the warrior wass. Yeah. So it's like a one to four pain index. Okay. And history thought, well, why is it one to four? And why is it only bugs? And so they came up with this crazy show idea. And so basically we're building a new pain index.

It's got three different categories as well. Okay. So, yeah, go ahead, Patrick. I was going to say, so obviously you guys are wildlife enthusiasts. I mean, we're going to get into all the crazy shit you do. But there's a scientific value to what you guys do, for sure. Yeah, we rate it in three different categories. So like intensity, duration and damage. And it's like a score out of 10 in each category.

So it would be a total of 30. So pretty much if somebody gets bitten and stung or electrocuted, punched by any of these, animals, they know what to expect from it, you know, if it's something like a scorpion fish or a lionfish, if someone accidentally gets stung, they'll know, we'll have a fair idea of how bad it's going to hurt, how long that's going to hurt for, and ultimately what damage it's going to leave you. And I mean, it helps people and I guess it will help animals as well because people see what it does to us, they'll leave it the fuck alone. That is useful information.

That is, and I'll tell you why. I'll tell a story. I was in Panama. I was spearfishing with my buddy Adam, and we were poking around all these reefs, and we were looking for dog snapper, and we started seeing lionfish in the reefs, right? And for those that don't know, lionfish in the Caribbean are invasive. They were introduced through the aquarium trade, starting in South Florida, and they've spread throughout the entirety of the Caribbean, all the way through the Bahamas, Cuba, all the way down into Panama.

So we're spearfishing this reef, and we're looking at it. for a dog snapper. I was about to say dog tooth tuna, I wish. We're looking for a dog snapper. And Adam's like, dude, are you seeing all these lionfish? I'm like, yeah, they're everywhere, man, it's fucked up. He's like, we got to start shooting him. I'm like, yeah, let's shoot them. Let's shoot them up. And so for anybody that doesn't know, lionfish is this beautiful, maybe Peter, you can pull up a picture. They're this beautiful fish from the Indian Ocean in the South Pacific that has these big frills. And at the end of each frill is a very venomous spine. And I'm sure Adam and Rob can tell us more about that in a moment.

But we start shooting them up and we're shooting one here, shooting one there. And I'm going to throw one in the boat and sure enough, bam, right in the side of my thumb, I take one of these spines. Okay. Now, for those that don't know, and you guys tell me how right or wrong this is, Adam and Rob, but I was like, we're nowhere near cell phone service. And everybody was like, you know, the Mexican or the, sorry, the Panamanian fishermen we were with were like, oh, you're going to die. And I was like, excuse me? And they're like, you're going to die. And I was

like, oh, well, this isn't good. And then I, you know, Adam's like, I don't know, man. I've heard it's really bad. Like, might need to take your hand off. And I'm like, what? What's going on? I know they're venomous, but they can't be that bad. And I had no idea. I didn't have this information or access to this information to know how bad it was, how long it was going to suck any of it. And so this is a very long-winded way of saying, I think what you guys are doing is rad. Well, real quick for us, here's a test of who's the tougher guy. Have you guys done a lionfish on your show?

Yeah. Okay. Forest, what would you, and don't fucking say it too, because they're here. What would you say one to ten for pain? Just the pain index. Okay, no, and I'll get to the others.

So pain like a seven. I give it like a seven on the pain index. What did you guys give it? Probably close to that, huh? Six. 6.75 average between the two of us, man. Okay. That makes me feel good.

It sucks. It feels really good. I mean, yeah. I mean, look, there are so many factors that come into play with it, you know, how much venom's injected, how deep those spines go. So everyone's thing's going to be different. Doesn't necessarily mean they've got a lower or high pain tolerance. But man, my head swelled up like that from it. Yes, mine too.

And that's, I didn't know if Patrick was going to keep asking, but the duration for me was the bad part. The pain was like, this sucks, but it lasted for like three days. I couldn't close my, I couldn't make a fist for nearly three days. I was taking, I was ODing on Benadryl to go to bed and like shoving my hand in boiling hot water to try and neutralize it a little bit. Did that work? No, God, no. It didn't, I think it made it much worse.

But, yeah, anyway, that's, that sucked. But I guess back to the, back to the point of doing this, this work, are you guys publishing this? Are you going to do a book? Is there going to be a list? Like, how, how can I have access to this information? without scrolling through History Plus or whatever the hell it's called in the middle of nowhere. We do want to do a book.

Right now it is on History's website. I need to double check. It's still up. It should still be there. That is a great question. Maybe Adam and I can put it on our Instagrams tonight. What about just like a really spicy poster? Like a really cool.

I don't know. The poster looks dope. This is my office. Oh, please don't unplug computer. Don't unplug. Don't unplug. There's my African Animals poster. Okay, it's right over there.

For those listening, this is not worth tuning into YouTube for. And I would absolutely put a pain index poster like on my, this is not a laptop, by the way. It's a very old desktop that barely made it around that corner. But I would absolutely put like a pain index poster up in my office. I think that would be super cool. I've got one at my house printed out on canvas. It looks sick.

Like you can see little animations of each animal. And I think season one we did put like 19 animals on it. So there's like little outlines of Nile monitors, bullet ants and stuff. It looks sick. It's crazy. 19 animals. What are you guys up to now? Because I know you kept going with that.

I know you're nuts. So what are you? How many animals are you up to? For the pain index? Yeah. We got stuff coming. Yeah. Okay.

It's going to more than double. Yeah. Nice. So you guys, I mean, I know just because I have friends that worked on season one, what are you, is there a single moment from the first season of your show that you're kind of known for that went super viral or something just fucking crazy that our listeners need to check out? Oh, yeah. What was it? Parton.

Oh, shit. What happened to that guy? That was a mistake. Tell us, okay, so tell us what happened. We just did that reticulated Python story on the last slide. podcast. I'm terrified of these animals. But anyway, please, please tell us more. Tell us what happened with the Ritik. And then everyone needs to go watch this online because it's fucking amazing. Don't watch it if you're eating.

Well, we're in Bali and we're like, all right, we're going to put a decent size reticulated Python on the pain index. And we end up catching a 16 footer. Wow. And we're like, oh, okay, this might be a bit too big. We caught an eight footer first. We could have done that. And we were like, no, it's not big enough. No, not big enough.

I wish we would have. Yeah. In hindsight, yeah, probably would have been a better option. But I was going first with the buy. We're kind of discussing to ourselves. We're like, how are we going to get it to buy? What if it doesn't want to buy?

Like, do we get it by the head? Oh, that will be no issue. Oh, it wasn't. That will be no issue, sir. Yeah. I mean, as soon as that thing, like, I, I, I, went up first and I took it out the bag and as soon as it was out of the bag it was ready to go and we're wearing like a face shield so it didn't like you know because this thing's 16 foot

it can launch like you know a third of its body so it could have got us anywhere we didn't want it to bite us so we're wearing groin guards as well yeah yeah and rob had his on upside down because his testicles are apparently above his shower hey Peter you too We've had this discussion. That's hilarious. We sure did. But yeah, it got me on the arm and, like, ripped me open. I'd eat it stitches and stable.

I'll see if I can show you the scar, actually, because it's still, like, pretty... We were on sacred ground as well. Oh, shit. That is it. Holy shit. That is a fucking scar. It goes up to about that. Oh, my God.

That's worse than your fucking motorcycle accident, Peter. It really is, dude. When did you, so when did you film that one? Like how long ago? What was it two, two years ago? That was May or June. That was June of 2019. Right.

And that scar is fucking just rocking, dude. That's crazy. Rob got it worse than me. Let me see your, right. Rob, yours is permanent, right? Yeah, well, you know, Adam is leaking a lot of blood. And we are right outside of a Hindu temples. And apparently you're not supposed to bleed on the ground there.

I don't know what the priest was there. I don't know what he thought was going to happen with the giant python bite. They're scrambling to put a bunch of banana leaves to catch all of Adam's blood. Oh, wow. Oh, I'm scared out of my mind right now because I'm watching Adam just like he's got. So can I interrupt for one second? I'm just curious because I don't know the answer to this. And I think our listeners are going to be wondering as well.

Do you both always have to take the bite or sting? Because you're averaging out the index every single time. So there's no world in which you go, oh, no, no, I saw what happened to Adam. I'm no fucking way. I'm out. I mean, yeah, there is. I mean, like, it's never happened. But after the Python, I was like, don't do it.

Like, it looked like I had prop chop on my arm. Like, the doctor was looking at it. And like, this is a doctor in Florida. And he's like, this is what prop chop looks like. Jesus. But Rob did it. Sorry, Rob, yeah, keep going. Peter, while he tells a story, can you pull up just so people can

see because I don't think people understand the jaw morphology of these snakes and how terrible it is. So just look up reticulated Python skull so people watching can see this and then you'll understand why Adam's arm looked like Swiss cheese. Well, the crazy thing is that

they said Rob got the worst end of it. Right, let's hear it. So what the fuck happens to you? Adam got a sick scar. Here we are over two years later. He's got a badass scar. And three years later, I went up next And I was like

Well Adam's not dead I was peeing my pants a little bit though But yeah see those teeth Yeah Yeah That's look on the bottom jaw The top jaw It's fucking insane

That is fucking crazy They're all the way that they're shaped too Just fucking hook into your arm Serrated boom Like just dragging through the skin man Oh The snake pulls backwards And then you're stuck

Yeah Unless it wants to let go of you Fuck, man. Rob, all right, we got to get to the story. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Absolutely. Edge of our seats.

This thing, this thing bit me right away. There's, this pissed off now. Like, it bit out of and now it's pissed off. So, uh, this poor snake is like, it's had it. It gave me everything it's got. But it got a lucky hit on my owner nerve. And what that is, if anyone here has ever hit their funny bone, that's your owner nerve. And you know how bad that hurts.

Yeah. Apparently, I didn't know this at the time. No one told me. It's the largest. unprotective nerve in your body, and it's completely, like, at the base of your elbow, it's completely exposed. And at least one of those teeth went right in there. And, man, long story short, I have severe permanent nerve damage.

Oh, my. I've had surgery. I've had 18% disability. There's nothing they can do about it. Really? What is the disability? Are you able to use all your fingers? Do you lose your grip strength?

lost at least half of my grip strength, half of the mobility. Wow. I'm lucky. A lot of people to get like a claw hand where their pinky and ring finger just stay curled up. I don't have that. Like when you fucking sleep on your arm or whatever you wake up and it's completely numb. It's probably like a permanent version somewhat of that. That happened to me when the internet films came out.

Oh, my God. I thought that was your wrist. Well, I've seen the... He still hasn't recovered. I saw the... I've seen that episode. And, you know, it almost looked to me like, Adam, you know, you... Maybe, like, your elbow, like, the actual bone helped you out a little bit.

And it hit you, Rob, in a slightly different spot. Totally. And your reaction, because I've seen all of them, I've never seen you immediately be, like, done. And it was just instant, man. That was fucking terrifying to watch. I was scared to move because I knew it was in something. I didn't know what it was in, but I was afraid if I move,

he was going to finish tearing whatever it was inside of. Oh, my God. You guys are fucking nuts. You know the worst part about that bite was? I always correct people about this. Always. I always have. But this one fucking time,

I said fang instead of tooth. I don't know why I'm just a tooth. It was like the adrenaline. the, you know, the shock, I was like, I've got a fang in, fact, got a fang in me. And then, like, afterwards, I'm like, what the fuck did I say that? Oh, my God.

It haunts me. Did you get thrown up for it, though? No, I didn't actually, but I was just disappointed in myself. So I had a show premiere last night, right? This Mysterious Creatures show. And I get- congratulations on that. Thank you very much. Thank you.

I get chased around the woods by a black bear. Like, literally, at one point, it's like 15 feet away from my cameraman and I. And we're like full on spiked adrenaline, like huffing and puffing, like totally like, this big male black bear like chased, you know, like got defensive and chased us for like, I don't know, 30 feet. And I walk back over and I'm taught explaining this to the whole team. And I'm like, oh, this big bull black bear, right? Well, they're not called bulls.

They're called bore black bear. Didn't even realize I'd said it. I'm like 12 out of 10 on adrenaline, you know, and I just said bull instead of bore. I got this email today. Somebody went out of their way. I love when people do this. Somebody went out of their way to find my website, send me an email through my server,

and say, I just want you to know, I've watched every single one of your shows, and I've enjoyed them all until last night's episode. And it's because how can a trained biologist call a male bear a bull and not a boar? This is the most amateurish thing I've ever seen. You should be kicked off, like, this whole, like, ranting email.

And I'm like, I love you. People are insane. People are nuts, man. I said one word wrong because I had just been chased by a fucking bear. And this guy's like, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done. This guy is not for me any longer. So, Adam, next time that happens, here's what you do. And this is, as, you know, the EP of Extincter Alive, something Forrest would do.

If you say Fang or something like that again, you just text the showrunner and say, hey, here's what we're going to do. You're going to cut away to Rob's reaction for two seconds, and I'm going to say the proper word, and you're going to cut it in, or I'm going to be a dickhead next time we work together. And that's it. All right. I've actually still got the tooth. Because one of them got stuck in my arm.

I've still got it at home. It's like that big. And I think there's still a piece of one in my arm as well. That's, you guys. It's like you've been a war. I said it multiple times. That's the issue. So it was like pretty tough cutting around that.

Whatever, man. People make mistakes. Who cares? Exactly. So what that, I think what you guys are doing is nuts, by the way. I want to be clear. I think it's valuable, but it's fucking nuts. Oh, yeah.

What? What, where's the pleasure in this? Rob, the last time we hung out, remember we went to that bar, the three of us in that dive bar? Adam, you were blown away. You're like, no way. This is like a real American bar. There's a jackalope on the wall.

It's legit. And Rob, you're like, this is my dream job. And I'm like, what's a matter with you? What do you mean? This is your dream job. Can you guys explain that? Well, I mean, it is wearing on us. My God, we have...

I swear, look at a picture of us now compared to season one. We are aged. We are significantly aged. I'm only 19 years old. Yeah. He's legal now, ladies, so... Oh, man. Well, I don't know about first.

Adam. I think Adam didn't realize what it was until he showed up to America. Like, oh, by the way, on the show, you're getting bitten. Yeah. They flew me to L.A. for a chemistry test. And I was like, all right, yeah. I thought it's a bit, you know, wildlife show. And I got over there. I'm like, what's the show actually about? They're like, oh, you're going to get bitten and sung by myself. I'm like, ah, all right. I'm in. I'm here. Yeah. No, for me, I got my first animal wrangling gig on the show, ironically. about animal bites. It was like 2008.

And I told my buddy, I was like, we should do a show where we get bitten by animals and rank it. No one's ever done that. People would watch it. And I'm curious about these bites and stings. I really want to know how bad some things hurt. And he's like, stay tuned.

And maybe six months later, he called me. He's like, how do you feel about Cobra venom in your eye? Jesus. Yeah. Jesus. It's really bad, actually. Sounds great.

No, my dumb ass, being in my 20s, I was like, hell yeah, let's do this. So basically we filmed a pilot for another network, and two guys went to the hospital, and I had to go to the eye doctor, and they basically said, don't ever talk to us again. They got a massive hospital bills. Jesus. So, like, I was thinking about this,

because the Super Bowl just happened a couple weeks ago, and Joe Burrough was the quarterback young guy, and I was just wondering, as I was deciding which team I was going to bet on, okay is Joe Burrow going to sleep tonight right because like even if I know I have to wake up early I'm not fucking sleeping how do you get like what is it like going to bed the night before a shoot knowing that the next day you're going to potentially experience the worst pain of your life like how the fuck do you deal with that's a good question it depends what animal um like with you know certain things like the wasps they're great because they hurt really bad but then as soon as

the sting is out, the pain's gone. So we look forward to them. We're like, yeah, easy one. Yeah. But then you start getting like, you know, pretty, you know, bad ones, bad reputations and that, like, yeah, scorpion fish and yeah, Nile monitor and things like that. I don't want to talk about what we've just been through, but it was hard to wake up to a lot of them. Can we, any marks?

Can you show us the marks and we'll try and guess what? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute. You can't just be baiting us like that. You got to say what the animal you guys just took a bit. Let's not get them in trouble. You know this. What? See that?

That's a hole in his arm. That is a hole. Yeah. Jesus. Looks like you got shot in the arm. That was almost. Well, that's a clue. There's a clue to it right there.

Okay, got it. You guys got hit with bull hands. Awesome. No. No. That's the first clue, but it's not right. That would be the logical thing, but it's not.

Wow. Maybe it's that a needle that shits the acid out. Oh, the bombardier. We've never done it. I've wanted to, but I just thought it would be,

I mean, it's really cool, but I think it would be underwhelming because I don't think it will hurt that much. It would just be like a little like, you know,

oil spitting out of a pan, but it would have put it on a camera close up, you know, the skin boiling a little bit. I don't know. Yeah. So I got to,

I got a line. And we said that before, though, we're stuff's not going to be that bad. And then, you know, we're crying. I got a lame question What's the opposite of that?

What did you think was going to be super Like horrible? And then you were like, oh, that wasn't that bad. Warrior was. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, but that was weird. That was a freak thing.

So the warrior wasp was supposed to be one of the most painful stinging insects. It was like top of Schmidt's pain index. Yeah. And we got them. And they were stinging us. The stinger was going into us, but there was nothing was happening.

We're getting little welts, but like absolutely no pain. And we'll switching out the wasps and just nothing. So we couldn't even rate them on the pain index. There was just nothing there. And we don't know why. That's crazy. So like a zero on your guys is basically. What's that?

Oh, sorry. So like a zero on your guys's pain index where it was like a four on that guys. Well, we didn't want to rate it as zero because we felt like somehow we screwed up. Because you can't misidentify them. Like they have this like armadillo looking nest. We went 100 miles away and tried to hold another nest, like one after another. Dudd, dud, dud, and none of them worked. I thought maybe they weren't defending the nest so they didn't inject venom.

That could be it. Or let's just blame it on global warming. I mean, it's got to be that. That makes sense. That adds up. Yeah. Everything is. We just talked about monitor lizards.

So it was the one that you talked about with Bartchek. There's no way these guys are taking a bite from a crocodile monitor. Oh, fuck that. You don't survive that. You don't walk away from that one going, oh, that's a four. No, no, no. They did a monitor that looked fucking terrifying, nonetheless. Yeah, you guys did.

Was it a Nile monitor and Asian water monitor? I can't remember. It was a Nile. Nile monitor. Yeah, an Asian water monitor that that size would have done some damage. But the Nile monitors have sort of blunter teeth. It did almost kill us though. It did.

Yeah, you're right. Tell us. Tell us about it. You were driving. Okay, so it wasn't the actual Nile monitor itself. We got out on a boat, like this little tin boat, and I'm driving it, center console, but sort of, actually, it was more towards the back, man. Like, the outboards were right behind me. Yeah.

And we're, like, cruising down at daytime, and it's all fine. We see hippo, we're like, oh, how are you going? Doesn't bother us. As soon as the sun goes down, fucking the hippos just went to town on us. We're like, Rob grabbed a baby Nile crocodile, and we sort of parked up against the bank, and, you know, he puts the crocodile back,

and we reverse, and what, boof, I'm like, oh, shit, I've hit a log. I think he'd have gone. I ain't a log. Like this hippo just hits the bottom of the boat. My fuck. Oh, my God. Like, start fanging, like, You know, trying to get out of there.

And we're going further down the river. We're like, all right, you know, that hippo's back there. We'll keep on going looking for this. You couldn't get the motor started, remember? You couldn't get it started back up. Because we had to cut it for the microphones, and you just see this giant head come up behind Adam. Huge.

And he's like, what, a foot from the back of the boat? And I was trying to yell out of him. And it was like, there's nothing coming out of my voice. Like, I was like, as well, like, the scariest thing was, because they've got all the lights set up on my facts. face, so the camera's on the camera boat can see me, I can't see anything in front of me, because the lights are in my face from the steering wheel. So like, oh shit, so we keep on going down.

We'll get to, you know, where the Nile monitor is and, you know, see if we can grab it. As we go further down, there's just heads popping up all around us. And it's a pretty, like, narrow river, right? It wasn't that wide. So there was like a fair amount of hippos in that small little area. And then they like hit us again. And the camera boat, I'm looking over the camera boat. I'm going like, what do I do?

Do I keep going or do I go back? Because these hippos are all around us. So I'm like, I'm swearing at the boat. I'm like, what the fuck do I do? Like, do I keep going to what? They just turn around. They're on that boat with firearms. It's just us to on this boat.

The Adam learned to drive 20 minutes before this started right at sunset. Perfect. Good setup. And there's, hippos don't really swim. They basically run on the bottom. And so you see this trail of bubbles like a World War II torpedo coming at you. Dude. It's just like, bubbles.

And then bam. Bumbles. The camera boat turned around and just went, whoop and just drove off. They didn't say a word to us. They didn't say a word. Just like, we're getting the fuck out of you. And you guys told me the last time we were all hanging out, you're like, and they didn't even get the shot, right?

So like all this like super exciting stuff happened and they missed like the main thing. Yeah. They got it they got a couple of bumps and like a couple of decent ones. But as I turned around was like trying to go back, one hits the back of the boat. And I turn around and no joke, it's like mouth is like that about two feet away from my ass. I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah, you're literally dodging hippos. Did they, did the camera team film when you guys met back up with them and started violently attacking them for leaving?

on saying anything? I was pretty pissed off. That didn't make the edit, surprisingly. Yeah. I remember coming up that bank and I was like, like, I was pissed off. I mean, I was just pissed off because like, they knew there was hippos in that river. But I mean, it's, you know, they were fine during the day. But as night came, they just changed.

And they could have flipped that boat like it was nothing. Oh, yeah. Like it was absolutely nothing. So we nearly got killed looking for the animal that we were going to get bitten by. So, oh, no, go ahead, Patrick. I was going to kind of change the topic because I had a... I just wanted to ask real quick for us. Is that a thing that you've seen, like, did hippos get more aggressive at night?

Well, they're much more active at night, and hippos are, and I'm not trying to shit on anybody's parade here, but I've said this before. Hippos are not aggressive, not even a little bit. They are territorial and they're defensive. They're a very nervous, very erratic animal, and when they, can sink in deep water, they feel fine. They're confident. You can take a boat basically right over them. They're chill. But at night, they come out to graze. They leave the water to go out on riverbanks to eat. And that's when they're most vulnerable. They don't have the best eyesight. They're vulnerable to predators. And so they're just, they're these jumpy nervous

animals that weigh a ton or more. And now they're even jumpier at night time because they know they're coming out to graze and stuff. So it's just like, it's the worst time to be around hippos. I mean, it really is. It's just, they're just... Yeah, no, it's not good at all. But I was going to say, so you guys said earlier, Rob, you said earlier, that this is really starting to wear on you.

I'm curious, because it's one thing to take, like, the physical bites, right? That's an injury. We know we heal up from those injuries. But you guys are walking cesspools of chemical concoctions at this point that nature is thrown at you, right? Like how many different venoms, saliva, bacteria, you know, poisons, everything have you guys

taken into your system? And I'm not saying all this to be mean, I'm saying this because do you know, have you, has there been any research? Like, long term effects of this stuff? Like what, you know, what can happen? Do you have any idea? I mean, are one of you going to have

lizard people, children? That's the big question here. Well, that'd be sick. I hope so. Yeah, it would be strict. That's a whole new. show. But yeah, is there any, I mean, is there any concern of that? Is there any evidence of that? Any sort of long-term effects of all these different stings and bites and stuff? Well, it's definitely concerned. Yeah. They're like, this is the first time anybody's ever brought it up.

Yeah. It's not good. I never thought about it. Well, certainly the more often you're exposed to any type of venom or even protein, you're not much more likely to get an allergic reaction to it later. there's guys that have been bitten by like cobras or kept spinning cobras

and been exposed to that venom like a buddy of Adam and eyes and then this guy was bitten by a helicopter which is a South American water snake that on the worst day might sting a little bit I've been bitten by it didn't feel a thing he got bitten by it and nearly died from allergic reaction

so interesting that same thing could happen to us because we just keep exposing ourselves and we never know if we're allergic to something until we get bitten or stung by it. And as well, like, all these venoms in such a short amount of time, it's like, you know, it gets processed through the kidneys

and we're like, oh, kidneys are probably copping a beating. I mean, my liver's already probably copped a beating from all the, from the alcoholism, but that's fun. But that mosquitoes bite me and then drop dead. Yeah. It perched into flame instantly. Do either of you guys have, like, a significant other?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm married. Both of them. I got a girlfriend. How do they, what do they say when you're heading out to do the reticulated python? Well, my wife's just happy. I'm not doing anything stupider.

Okay. She's like, oh, you get bitten by animals. That's, that's cool. I'm glad you finally settled down. It depends. I mean, after the first season, I think, like, when I was doing, when we were doing the first season, it was like, cool. they're like, oh, that's cool, they're doing this. Then what they saw, then when they actually watched and saw what happened to us,

they're like, oh, shit, boy. And, you know, all the other stuff that we're getting bitten and stung by, it's like, there's a lot of pretty bad ones, and it's, you know, the worry just goes up more and more because I guess the animals are getting beefier and beefier. Yeah. Do you guys, do you guys rev each other up? Yeah.

So, like, when I'm hanging out with my buddy Adam in particular, the guy I said from Panama, like, anything he does, I have to do it bigger, better, faster, stronger, like, and he's the same. So we just rev each other up the whole time. And that's why I've been bitten by sharks twice around Adam and so on and so forth. And I'm not exaggerating. It's just every time we're together, we're just constantly at odds with each other revving each other up. Are you guys, is that what's going on with you guys? You're like, yeah, dude, whatever, man.

Just fucking reticulate bites and let's go. Like, it's not a big deal. Are you just hyping each other up? I mean, what's going on with that dynamic when one of you has been stung or bitten and the other hasn't yet? I mean, yeah, you take it wrong. It's like a guilt. It's like a guilt thing.

Like if Adam were to get a really bad bite and then I get like a mediocre one, I feel like super guilty. Oh, interesting. There's been times I'm like, I'm going back for a second bite at him. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, man. A true bud.

You are such nicer people than me and my. Adam friend because I'd be like ha ha idiot I didn't even feel it No we were we were in Bolivia together First mission of Of season one Adam caught this sick anaconda

I mean it was a Bolivian anaconda Not even a green was like the local endemic one Super hard to find Yep he like jumps on it They didn't even use the damn shot It was sick though And he's like got it by the head He's got it and he's like

He goes I bet this looks pretty cool Next time we see a big snake You jump on it And then I was like, this is a good dude. Yeah, straight up. That's a good dude. Turns out there's a 16 foot reticulated python and I'm the one that jumped on it. Sorry.

Nah, but that was like, he grabbed it like the biggest red-tailed bulk of Stryker ever seen in my life. And Rob grabbed it and the African rock python. But that that ball constrictor was like, it was fucking roaring. It was like, it was insane. Yeah. That was nuts. But we caught like really cool stuff.

stuff as we're looking for the animals, we're going to get bitten and stumbar. But there wasn't any room for him, which was, yeah, it was devastating. They didn't use any of it. No, because there was some cool animals. Peter, is someone who's never been outside before, what are you thinking hearing all of these stories? I think, I'm thinking that I detect this kind of weird vibe from them where they're, like, excited, but in general, just, like, scared of the fact that they have to continue doing this. Which is like, and I get that.

So I understand that. That's, so I'm feeling like they're nuts. Obviously, this is crazy. I would never do anything like this. Dude, that scar is honestly like, it's horrific. It looks like a shark bite. Like, I mean, it's crazy, you know? It's a good one.

Yeah. It's funny. We, like, we, we, we love animals, you know. We, we, our entire life, we've been doing animals. stuff, but when you know you're going to get bitten or stung by it, you're looking at it through a different lens. I mean, it can be the coolest animal, an animal that, like, you know, your favorite animal, like the reticulated python.

But knowing that you're going to have to get bitten by it, you become very intimidated by, even though in the past, you go out and catch one and, you know, no troubles. But knowing that you're going to get bitten by it, it's like you do become scared. Even if you've worked with these things your entire life, it's, yeah, it's different. And it's a different ball guy. Sure. If you see one in the wild, you're like, hell yeah. If you catch one, knowing you're going to get bitten by it, you're like, it can be the tiniest insect.

You're scared shitless of it. It's a different thing. A friend of the show who we have on all the time, this guy Bradley Trevor Greve, who he had a show on Animal Planet called Little Giants, where it was just about the powers of small animals. So he wanted me to ask you guys, what is the small, like the animal that's pain to say? size ratio shocked you the most. Like this little thing, and you just couldn't fucking believe it. It happened the other day, and we can't say what it was.

You guys were going to have to have it back on, man. There's some, there's some little crazy, crazy stuff coming up. Okay. What about what you can talk about? Well, there was like, the Europlecties. The Europlecties scorpion was insane, but the Rove Beetle was mine wrong.

There's this, it's this big, it's tiny, right? I don't even know what it is. I don't know what a row. explained about it being put on the list. Yeah. Really? Yeah, we're like, this is so underwhelming and stupid. Why are we doing a road beetle?

Yeah. I'm going to go to piss real quick. You can tell him about my bladder problems, Adam. Man, yeah, he's got a bladder like a puppy dog, honestly. Every few minutes, he's off. So it's like, it's this tiny little beetle, and it, like, it's hemalymph. So it's blood is toxic. And when you, like, rub it, it can just.

crawl on you or if you like squash it on you, the hemalymph melts your skin. Like after a few days, it just turns into like blisters and and like on Rob's leg, it was about this big, just like massive blisters and his skin was all peeling off. There was pus coming out of it. God. Yeah, it was insane. And these things like, I've never even heard of it. Yeah, a lot of people haven't like it. One will be crawling on them and they just go, oh, like that. And that's all like swat it. And that's all it takes. And then where are they native too? Where are these guys? They're actually really common, like, widely distributed throughout the world. Hey, we had this one in Indonesia, but I don't know.

Not all of them are dangerous. Yeah, yeah. I saw one in, what was the, South America or Central America somewhere with my wife, and I flicked it off of her, and I was like, well, crap, that's exactly what you don't do. But it turns out that one wasn't dangerous. Interesting. But in Southeast Asia and Africa, they can be very dangerous. So I see a couple different kinds here.

The ones, so is there any way to tell which ones are not the dangerous ones versus the ones that are by color or anything like that? You need a Justin Schmidt type. There's what, 5,000 or so. Yeah, five thousand or something. At least, yeah. Yeah. Okay. But other ones like the velvet ants were insane.

Like the velvet ant, it's the one weighted in Africa is really small. It's a wingless wasp. But they call it an ant. Oh, that's his scar from it. Yeah. That's the Rove Beetleburn? Oh, my goodness. man if you watch the video it's disgusting they got like high speed of like this massive pussy blister like bursting and stuff it's rank

god that's a dope animal superpower that your blood it is yeah feel free to fucking squash me dude but i'm gonna burn the shit out of you they can spray it they can spray it as well wow man yeah you're supposed to blow them off if they get on your skin that's the only way they get them not to spray on you well that um that velvet ant that you just uh pulled up there Yeah. That's got like the longest stinger to body size of any insect. And it was like, it's stingers longer than its body. And that was mind-blowingly painful. It only lasted a little, you know, second, but it was insane.

Velvet ant. Where did you guys do the Velvet ant? We've done that in Africa, but we, yeah, there's lots of different species. And we've done another one at some point. And it was, it was bad as well. And Rob's, you've been stung a few times by them, haven't you? It's like four or five at this point, yeah. But the one we did in Africa, and then the other one we did were the worst.

I got stung in the neck, actually, by one in Africa. And believe it or not, your neck hurts less. I was blown away. I did some Googling afterwards. And apparently your neck is less sensitive than a lot of other parts of your body, which made no sense to me. So we have Velvetance here in California, Rob, as I'm sure you're aware. Adam, you too, maybe. Are they bad?

I mean, I, like, see them all the time. I mean, I know they sting, but it's never been like, hey, stay away from the Velvet Ant. I've always been like, oh, cool, a Velvet Ant. They sting. I've only done one sting here locally around L.A. It was up in Burbank. And, I mean, it hurt pretty good, but not as bad as one in Africa. Gotcha.

That's good to know. Never even really thought about that. There's a lot of species, so. Yeah. There's thousands, actually. Here's why you're probably glad that I didn't work on your show. I would, I'm fucking dying to have you guys do a domestic house cat. I mean, they're little fucking fangs, man.

The close, like, yeah, and they can get all, like, filthy and infecting. You get that cat flu thing, eh? Yeah, weird. Cat scratch fever is a real thing. Did you guys know that? That was a song. That's what I don't know about it. It is.

It is. When I was 12, I cried from a house cat by it. And I was super embarrassed because I thought I was too old to cry. Last time he got pussy as well. Well, the closest thing, well, the closest thing, but, you know, it's still very decently, like still very far off was the slow Loris. I mean, the closest thing, teeth wise, we got bitten by the slow Loris, which is, you know, the only venomous primate.

But it has to, like, lick its brachialis area there. Yeah, and then it, like, you know, mixed with the saliva and then it bites you. And it wasn't that, I mean, it hurt the initial bite, but there was no real venom effects. I don't know if it got a good, you know, good lick going on. You said it only licked its armpit once, right, that you saw? Yeah. So it was probably just a small amount of talk. It was a rescue center that actually called us.

They heard what we were doing in Bali, and they wanted us to get bitten because they wanted us to show that these do not make good pets because they're out of the wild all the time. Yeah. And unfortunately, that didn't make the show. We wanted it to because there was a little message. Did it make the clip show at the end? You're right. It made like the little clip show, but it didn't get rated or anything like that. Which is a shame because it was like a, you know, super important message.

People cut their teeth out. It's horrible. Yeah. Yep. You've seen that forest, right, in Indonesia? I have. Yeah, I have. It's pretty awful.

Wait. It is. It's awful. Explain to me? So there's a venomous primate called a slow lar. It's also the cutest animal maybe outside of a dick-dick that exists in the world. Yeah, it's adorable. And their bite is venomous, but they are just so cute, as Patrick stated, that they are pretty common in the pet trade.

And especially Indonesia is crazy. There's nothing that they won't keep as pets. I mean, and the black market for the pet trade has absolutely exploded over there. Anyway, they will take the slow larisces and they will rip their teeth out, not even cut them, so that they're just, all their teeth, so there's not a single tooth that can puncture you, so that they're basically just completely toothless, and they'll go and lick their armpit,

and then they'll try and gnaw on you out of defense and terror, and he'll be like, oh, cute, he's giving me kisses, and he's just like, you know, this terrified little thing. It's pretty brutal. They have these big beautiful eyes as well, and so part of the thing, too, is they're poached often because they use them in Eastern medicine for eye wrinkle cream.

And what they do is they actually take the tear duct out. So they kill them, take the tear ducks out, and then discard the rest of the animal, and then grind it up and market it as something that can take the bags out from under your eyes. I don't think it works. People are... Yeah. I mean that shit. Sorry, if I just bummed you guys out. We don't try to be a bummer of a show. I need this beer now. Hey, Forrest. Do you have any white claws in your fridge? I think you need one. I can tell, you've had four beers and you're getting a little droopy.

Yeah, true. You're not wrong. Crack another one, mate. Yeah, this is a slow lorice. I just pulled one up if you're listening on the YouTube. There you go, Fritzmash. Very cute animal with big eyes. It's a shame that they do this to them. So Adam and Rob, you guys, obviously, you had a successful TV show. I think they then started clipping them out and they blew up on TikTok, right?

So you... Snapschat, I think of Snapchat. That's right. You love it to talk a little bit, yeah. But it's huge on Snapchat, right? It's like bananas huge. Yeah. Yeah, it's like one of the most watched.

I don't have Snapchat, so I don't know. I think it was the most watched TV show like that was on Snapchat. So it did crazy. I didn't expect that. We didn't expect the young viewers. It's a mature show. There's Adams potty mouth and my occasional curse words. But a lot of kids watch the show.

Yeah, it was my fucking dream when I was 11 was for this show to exist. Yeah, but not to be a part of it. just to watch it. Exactly. But so you obviously, you work with producers because you make a TV show, and we often make fun of producers, even though that's my only job. What's the dumbest thing that you saw during season one that was suggested to you where you were just like, dude, come on.

That's a great question. Fur to Lance, you remember that? No way. Shut up. Yeah. They put a Ferdy Lance on the list. So for people that. I don't know. That's the South American pit viper that is probably the most dangerous pit viper in South America, Central America.

It's probably the most dangerous pit viper in the world. Not because of its sheer lethality, but because of the number of bites that it inflicts. Yeah, exactly. There's more bites from fur to lance than I think any other pit viper, if I'm not mistaken. They're super common, especially that whole genus broths. They're very quick to defend themselves. And if you ever ever handled one, like, they don't act like a lot of other pit vipers. They are, They're like a lot. Very erratic. Very erratic. And by the way, a very notable producer nearly died from a bite of one.

Steve Rankin, producer of Naked and Afraid, was scouting a Costa Rican location, stepped over a log and took a bite to his cough. He now doesn't have a cough. They had to cut out a chunk of his butt and put it where his cough muscle was. Oh, he showed me a butt in. While he was scouting. I saw his scar. It's gnarly.

But anyway, so when you guys got suggested this, and I assume many other times, where you were like, who is producing this? Like, who is the idiot that's supposedly the mastermind behind this whole thing? We just can't believe anybody went with it. Like, this has been brought up to networks over and over and over. Like I said, we filmed a pilot a decade ago. And then once they saw what they asked for, they said, don't ever talk to them again because we were a liability. Like, no one's had the balls to do this. Like, it's dangerous.

And they, I don't know, yeah, I think some producers of the network came up with a list of animals, like a rough list,

and we're looking through them and we're like, nope, nope, that'll kill us, that'll kill us, that'll kill us. I mean,

they're not by an elephant. No. Right. What about a Codiac brown bear? Yeah. You do something like that. It's got a serious finale, my friend.

They want us to pull out animals and like, hold it for the camera for 10 minutes right over your arm while you're trying to get the perfect camera angles and it's like hot out, you're sweating, and the animal's starting to slip a little bit more.

And then we've had so many animals get away. Oh, yeah. It's not like we just have to catch it and then stick it on our arm. We have to get it perfectly aligned for like seven cameras and the sun and our own shadows. And the whole time the animal's just trying to bite her,

sting. Right. It's so much harder than you would think. And, I mean, a lot of the animals don't want to bite a sting. Like, it takes a lot of effort to get them to do it. And it just goes to show, like, these animals aren't out to get you. You know, a lot of the times, we have to try pretty damn hard to get bit. Interesting.

I think what? Took them out of the wild and, like, basically kidnapped them. Like, any person would do the same thing way before. You never been attacked by anything except for the hippos. Have you guys done any venomous snakes? Not on purpose. I mean, it's cool because, like, I think the number one thing, you know, Forrest and I are both pro zoo when it's a decent zoo. Right.

You know, I think the number one thing that works really well for conservation is just showing young people that animals are amazing, you know, which I think this show does in a really great way. Like, I'm sure there are some trolls online who are like, oh, you're harassing the animals. Forest has even gotten that for just handling animals. It's like if you can show a couple million people by the end of the day with your fucking Snapchat, probably 20 million, that these animals are amazing and have these cool superpowers. Like, that's 20 million kids that are going to be like, dude, animals are awesome.

Maybe we shouldn't fucking throw plastic in the water. Exactly. I mean, we never want to demonize these animals and make people scared of them. But we found that it did the exact opposite. We get messages from people going, oh, you know, I used to be scared of this animal, now I'm not. You would think that would be more scared, but they don't. I mean, they understand it better.

They see it, and they see how cool it is, and they actually start liking it. They see how hard we work to get bitten by it. That was our biggest fear. Everyone's going to be more scared. Even within my own family, people have stopped killing venomous snakes. My mom found a frog in the house, and she hates frogs. She usually traps them in the bottom. and suffocates them, and now she drops in the bottle and puts the bottle outside for it to go.

So, like, it's got a huge impact. No, it is. It is a huge impact. I mean, little changes make, you have to have the little change to make the big change. Do they broadcast a show in China? Oh, that's a good question. Supposedly the young generation of China has really changed a lot, and a lot of them aren't going down the same road with the taking of all the animals.

So I hope it does. here too. That's awesome. But you probably know more about that than I would force, but it seems like the younger generation might be doing a little better. I mean, I think with each generation, look, humans in general are reactive, not proactive.

Right? And we're at a point of being reactive now. Every single generation we have less and less animals. And so I think those kids actually care more and they're reactive to that, right? Because Granddaddy comes along and talks about when he would look out and see nothing but a herd of gazelle

and now all he sees his condos or whatever it happens to be, right? And so I think each generation, I don't know if it's China-specific, but I feel like each generation we're getting better. We're understanding, caring more about conservation. And it's like this really weird and delicate balance where it's like, hang on animals, like we're coming, right? Like people's mindsets are catching up. Just give us a couple more generations.

Just hang on a little bit longer. Right. But I don't know. Maybe that's just wishful thinking. I mean, I just hope they don't fall off eventually. when they become like bitter adults, conservatives. No, I'm sad. Yeah.

We're all very, we're all into these causes when we're younger. But I do think there is a difference with these, the recent generations, they're staying more on these issues the older they get, which is great. Because if they don't, the whole fucking world is going to collapse. I mean, we need the oceans. We need, we need these animals around. You call them just for ten. It's real deep for Peter. The younger generation are always.

They're always offended by something. So, I mean, they could put that being offended by everything to use and be offended by people fucking up the environment. That's 11%. That'd be great. Take that offense and channel it. For some shit they did 20 years ago. Put your energy into something actually more important. I know why Adam's saying this.

I've gone very deep down his Twitter rabbit hole and there's some awful stuff from a few years ago. When Patrick and I were in Vietnam, we were traipsing up to this cave. I think it was on the way of the cave. I don't even remember anymore. And I flipped over a log, and we found a giant Scolopendra, you know, the big, I don't even know what the common name is. It's a type of centipede, right? Or maybe it's mili. Big red centipede.

Yeah. I just don't know what the English name for those scolopendras are in Vietnam. And I remember we were, I was like, don't get bitten by this thing. Like, don't fuck around with this thing. And the local guy was like, oh, if you do, you just rub chicken spit on it. To which Patrick immediately replied, how the hell do you get chicken spit? Which I thought was a very good question. But first of all, have you heard of any of these ridiculous remedies?

And second, well, first of all, have you fucked with Scolopendra? And then I'm curious about what some of these like local remedies that you guys must have heard of are. Because everywhere you go, there's always like a local, like, yeah, rub that on it, put this on it, pee in your own mouth, you know, whatever it is. Yeah. Number two on the pain index on season one was a giant Asian centipede, but it wasn't in the genus Scolopendra. Oh, interesting. Yeah, but it's rated number two on the pain. It was insane, insanely painful.

I wonder if it felt like. Like somebody had bashed your arm with a sledgehammer and then sat on fire and then left it like that for 12 hours. Oh, man. So it's like that for 12 hours. giant Asian, and I swear to God, this is not a porn thing. The third thing that pops up in my Google search is centipede kings of pain. Oh, right. They know.

Say no. Wait, so it was like a deep pain besides just, I've never been stung by anything that felt different than just a sting. So you're saying this centipede hit you, and it was like a deep pain as if you had your arm broken. In tie arm as well. In tie arm. It was a different pain to any other animal.

like we call it. Oh my God. You just don't know how to describe it. Yeah. Because we have been bitten by Scolipendra as well. 12 hours, nonstop. Yeah, that was bad as well. No way.

Yeah. Have any of these, sorry, I don't mean to interrupt. Go ahead, Rob. No, no. Have any of these, cool, good dead air. Good job for us. Thanks, everybody. What else?

Have any of these? And I know the answer is like, yes, of course, when my arm got chopped up by a python it hurt all night. But if any of these just, like you said 12 hours, just stayed with you way longer than you ever anticipated. I'm not talking about, yeah, that cut, you know, I needed stitches. I mean, like, that bite. Yeah, venom.

Like any, because I always think of venom as like, sure, you know, it's neurotoxic, it's cytotoxic, whatever. Those are the effects. But that's very different from sort of the psychological or even the physical, like, it's really staying with me. Like, the venom is not out of my system. Yeah. Season one, I think the longest one for me was the New World Tarantula bite. I mean, they're not supposed to be that bad, but that lasted for like a week in my arm. And I just said must have a real bad reaction to it.

But my arm was swollen up and it felt like there was styrofoam under my skin. Like it was creaking. I remember you saying that. You said it was crunchy. Yeah. That's so weird. And that was North American tarantula? No, it was in Bolivia.

Interesting. Yeah, it was a guy. A life bird eater, but I think we might have missed it. Oh, okay, bird eater. Yeah. I don't think it, we don't think it was a glass bird eater, but somebody brought you some spider and you're like, yeah, fuck it. I'll shove this thing in my arm and see what happens. No, it was a local biologist that was like, here, they look different here. We're like, okay. Hey, Patrick, hey Patrick, hey Patrick, you're a very experienced and very good producer.

I'm a novice. I'm a novice to Bolivian arachnids. And some guy shows up and has a spider in a basket. It doesn't speak a lick of English. What are you telling me is the talent? If it's you? Well, sure. Yeah, if it's me. I would just go, I can't tell you what to do. Right.

But your whole show's career, your whole career is riding on the line here. And it's not me. It's two guys you just met an episode and a half ago. If it's a snake, there's no way. Right. A tarantula, I'm going to go for it. Yeah. I just feel like I've never heard of someone dying from a tarantula.

Right. So you're like, listen. Robin Adam. This guy's a biologist, like for sure. I mean, look at him. You know, he knows. He says it's the right kind of spider. Yeah.

I don't know where he got a chicken spider. I'm pretty sure that's what happened. Yeah. We looked at the range maps before we got there. It was like, you know, it doesn't really look like the Glythe birdie to ranges in that area. So we're going to go for the Bolivian blue leg. And neither one of

us are erecting guys by any stretch of the imagination. Like, that's probably the least animals we know about. And then someone got it, like, listen, it's a little bit smaller. It's still got juvenile coloration, and it's a different color phase here. And we're like, we're like, I thought he didn't live here, but we don't really know. Sir, it's barking at me. Yeah.

It's not even a spider. But ultimately, it comes down to us because we are responsible. So we should have figured that out later. Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, we've, like, rolling. like a reptile guy, I'm like mammals. So with the bugs and the invertebrates, like we just... At the mercy of the Indonesian biologists. Yeah, pretty much.

Exactly. Do you have life insurance, either of you? I don't know. I'm sure my wife has a secret. I don't know. This is hilarious. Hard-hitting questions. She has dropped the toaster into the bathtub,

several times, and I don't know what I'm talking in the bathroom. She also keeps upping it. It's weird that it just gets up. Yeah, and bags are always packed that day like she's going on vacation. I smell a forensic files episode. Yeah, exactly. So I get life insurance. I've tried, by the way. Side

note, I tried. My buddy, Scott Eastman, he owns four state farms. Okay, I called him up. I was like, Scott, Scotty, listen, bro, I got to get life insurance. I'm doing all this stupid shit. I'm a parent now. Like, this is important. He's like, I got you, man. If anybody can get life insurance for you. It's me. A week goes by, don't hear a word from him. Call him back up.

And I'm like, Scott, what's going on with this life insurance thing, man? He's like, yeah, there's just no way. He's like, if I can't get your life insurance, nobody can. He's like, there's just no way. And yep, sure enough, I couldn't get it. So I was curious. I was going to ask you who your guy was if you had a life insurance dealer. I haven't even tried, yeah. I see that you guys, so I looked at the list of everything in season one. and I know you've been doing other stuff since, which hopefully you can come back on the show and talk about. I don't see Iricanji on there.

Well, come on. Before the pandemic hit, we had a massive, we went to pre-production for the second season, like basically right after season one. But then the pandemic hit and everything went south. But we were going to go to Australia and I think that Iiricangi was on the list.

Just a few tentacles, not a hole. We were playing around with that or other box jellies. Yeah. Damn it. You guys ruined what I was going to do. I was going to give Peter five guesses to guess what an Iricanji was, and there is no way he was going to get there. It's a box jelly, obviously, mate. I knew that.

Now, he was Googling. All right. So you were going to do it. You were willing to get in the water, or were you going to take it out? How were you going to do the erikungi? That's a good question. Just just put it in a container. and take a few tentacles off and just sort of drag them over the skin.

But we didn't want to get like full-blown, you know, all the tentacles dragged over us because, you know, that might kill us. Yeah, we're not putting in athletic cups or anything. Jeez. Right. Right. Have you guys heard of the candiru catfish? Oh, yes. I am very scared.

I'm so scared of the candoror that when I go to the Amazon, I don't pee. Even if I'm standing out of the water, I won't pee into the water. I'll just stay out. He's peeing to a bush. Yeah. Dude. If I'm peeing in the Amazon, I'm not even kidding. I'm breaking up the stream like this so that it doesn't swim up the stream into my ureth.

And I know that it can't do that. I swear to God, I will dance left and right to break up the stream just in case one salmon migrates up my urine stream and goes into my pee-bee. I was literally, Rob, I was, as you opened your mouth to talk, I was going to ask why you guys haven't done a candiro. That can't find one big enough. Good point. Excellent.

Well played. Would you even touch the sods? Well, boy. So real quick, just for people who haven't listened to the other ten times we've talked about, Kandiru, explain what you're going to say, Rob. Well, I don't even know if it's true. Ab and I go back and forth on this all the time. But supposedly, it's a catfish that goes up and sucks blood from the gills of fish in the Amazon.

and it picks up on that ammonia that's coming from the gills. Well, guess where else you have ammonia and you're piss? And so if you're pissing in a river, this thing swims up to your manhood, and then using it sharp pectoral spines, it goes pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, all the way up your erethora. It maybe sucks your blood while it's doing it. It's a suck job you don't want. How do you get it out? How do you get that thing out for us?

So, I don't know. Tweezers. Oh, I know the answer, unfortunately, and not because it's happened, thank God. But because the candiru has backward-facing spines, once it swims up into your urethra and lodges those spines in, you cannot pull it back out, you cannot get it back out. So your penis has to be filleted open. I'm presuming on a table with a dull knife, they remove it and then sew it back together. Swear to God, that is a true story. And you're asking whether or not it's true, Rob, it.

It is, you can, Peter, I don't think we want to show this one, but for those listening that's curious, go Google the image because there is an image floating around. There was a penis. There is an X-ray where you clearly see the fish inside the guy's wang, and then you see exactly the surgery and how it goes down. And it is, once you see that, you'll never pee in a direct stream into a body of water ever again. And that as a man, I promise you, is the case. Yeah, it is. I mean, I always always said it's confirmed like this. firm cases, but yeah,

I always always like, yeah, it's true, man. It is true. It's too scary to believe. And if it's not true, it's not worth fucking around with. You know what I mean? Like, just don't pee in the water. It's that simple. It's like after that movie arachophobia, I checked the toilet seat for years. Oh my God, are you kidding?

Oh, my God. So what is, what is the animal that is at the top of your fuck-me-up bucket list? Like, bucket list? Oh, well, first off, I don't like centipedes. I hate him.

I can see Adam with that look in his eye, like he's going to try to put some more centipedes on the pain index. Yeah, I'd love to put the giant scallopender in Central South America, the like foot long one that's like this. Dude, no, no. The Southeast Asian Scolopenda is massive as well, and that apparently has killed people.

That might have been the one that you saw for us. That's the one I was dinking with. If you do that, I'm chucking some tarantulas, new, the old tarantulas on the list. I know you don't like this. I love this. This is how they build each other up, Jets.

But you were talking about earlier for us? Exactly. You know what the OBT is? Yes. The orange bobbott. If you start chucking on large centipedes, I'm going to chuck on the OBT's. Orange baboon tarantula.

Otherwise, the orange bidey thing. And it's one hell of a bite, apparently. They're dicks. For us. We can't wait to see it. He doesn't want to do it.

Yeah. Of course, let's say that Joe, Joe history calls you and says, hey, we want to do this awesome cross-promotion. We're really excited. We're going to, you know, we're going to take the rate that you make on your discovery show. We're going to go 10x that just to do a guest appearance on if Kings of Pain were to come back for another season or for just whatever their personal shit is. You're going to come on. You're going to do it all three of you. Now, you're a pretty cocky guy for us. I am. You're not going to go real pussy shit, but you also are, you know, you're married.

You have a kid, you know. No life insurance. You don't have life insurance. What animal that they, what are you going to go with? So I get to pick, like the animal. You get to pick and all three of you are going to get stung, bit, whatever. Oh, God. Okay.

Got it. But I want to be tough. I want to be cool. So it's got to be kind of gnarly alligator bite. Small, five foot. alligator bite. Five footer. We're not going big enough to rip my limb off.

It's going to be, Adam's going to have to hold it down while it bites me so it doesn't go into death roll. I know it's going to leave some gnarly puncture marks, which is kind of cool. I'm guessing they haven't done a crocodilian, so that's, that's some breakout news. Yep, I'm going for an alligator. Five foot cater. Where are you taking the bite?

Leg, arm off? No, straight in the candoroo spot. Just straight into the jet. Genitals. Just hard genital nip-nip. No, I'm going to go. Nip-nip. Man, I would have gone for the forearm until I found out about, you know, Rob's permanent damage.

So I'm going to say, I'm going to say calf, I guess. I do like walking a lot, though. That's true. It's good. Yeah, shoulder. I'm going to go shoulder, just like right here. Just like there's a lot of bone. It's not going to get through at all.

I'm going to take it in the shoulder. Like I made. It's a cool spot to get a scar as well on the shoulder. It is. Really cool. It's like a tribal tat. We can see what happens to the forest and see if we want to go ahead. Yeah, that's the one time. Be the only one that we don't do.

We're just like, we might have going to do it from the start. If it's you guys against each other, you're like, oh, yeah, I feel bad. If he doesn't do it, it's like, fuck that forest. When we were, when I was, man, let's see, I was two years out of, I was about a year and a half out of college, so I must have been 22 years old. And I took this big trip. My girlfriend and I did 28 countries in 14 months. It was amazing. Lived out of a backpack, had no money, worked along the way. It was killer. And halfway through the trip, two of my buddies from school joined me in my home country of Zimbabwe.

Long story short, we went to Lake Carribe, which is this big lake, big man-made lake, loaded with Nile Crocodiles. And we were drinking, go figure. And we were hiking around. We actually played some real stupid games with some hippos. but then we went and we were catching crocks, right? And we caught a little niley, like literally, like maybe a yearling, right? Like under 12 inches long. And my buddy Smitty, who's the same guy who he'd shot in the ass with a blowdark gun, who's the same guy who used to play paintball shirtless, so on and so forth, was like, I want to let it bite me.

And so we decided that we were going to let it bite him. We were very drunk on his nipple. So he took his shirt off, and I have video of this that we should probably release on the Wild Times Patreon. I have to find it. But he took his shirt off. and I held it up. And the problem was we were laughing so hard before it even happened that I couldn't

aim the crocodile. And so I missed his nipple and it latched on like underboob. I missed the nipple and hit the underboob. And then I let go because it was so funny. And the crocodile hung on there for like a good two or three seconds before it dropped off and scurried back into the water. In hindsight, I'm sure this would be considered animal abuse. But at age 22 under much drinking in a place

where crocodiles kill a lot of people, we thought it was hysterical. And I've never seen, and Smitty's like a big, very muscular guy. He was dancing around howling with this crocodile, like latched on to his underboob. I mean, it was hysterical. And that was like, like I said,

that was well under a foot, and that looked pretty bad. But that was a crock, not a gator. So I think I'm sticking with my friend. Strongest, strongest bite force in the animal kingdom? Or was that? Crocodiles, yeah. Crocodile.

Downward pressure, yeah. P.S. Brut. Can we just do a quick. Quick, a quick game here. Quick game. Because I'm sure these guys are getting sick of hearing our bullshit. Do you have a jingle, Peter?

Do you have a little jingle for the game? Yeah, let's go. I think I know what time it is. No, fuck. It's different game. Oh, it's not time for that. Sorry. So I'm the guy who, uh, there we go.

So I've called you up. I work for Robin. Streaming service X. Adam, Rob. Forrest. You guys are, you've agreed to do Kings of Pain X-L, right? It's the three of you. I've offered you however much money you make on your current shows.

Which, by the way, would be the name based on networks. Yeah. I've offered you. I love you guys. I think the three of you together are going to be fucking amazing. Take whatever you're making on your current projects. I'm going to times it by three. Okay?

Times it by three. All right. I'm just going to throw out a list of animals. Fuck, yeah. Yeah. Just a yes or no, will you take a bite from it? Oh, I like this game. All right. So first thing that I'm very interested in is a 6'4-year-old male human being,

and I want him to bite you for 30 seconds. Adam? Where's he binding? Because it's not in like a muscle. Is this like a person preference? Forearm. All right. Yeah.

Rob? Yeah. No, absolutely not. My two-year-old bites me and I scream in pain. Absolutely not. I will not take this. No. Next. I am not a king of pain.

Adam and Rob, I'm happy to be in business with you on the human episode. So the next one here I'd love to have bite you is an eight-year-old female chihuahua. I'd like her to bite you for at least 12 seconds straight. Adam? Yes. Then, yes. Just wherever you want. Just on the calf of the forearm.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll do it for sure. Rob? Yeah, why am I more scared of that than the human bite? I'll do it. I'm in. You got all three of us. Oh, yes.

Okay, that's going to be a highly rated episode. All right. I'm just going to do a couple more and then Peter throw one out. So I've arranged it. It's already set up. I have a giant squid that we brought up from the depths. It's going to latch its beak right onto the back of your leg, like the hamstring area. For this one, I'm going to pay you 4x your current salary.

What are you thinking, Adam? Well, giant squid, archa-tooth's ducks. They can probably pull out like an orange-sized bit of flesh from that beak. No, I don't think I would. Okay, Adam's out. Good TV. I don't have big calves. So that'll be my entire calf gone.

He doesn't have left legs. Can I count on the rub? Well, Adam's white legs may have blinded it as well. You get canceled for that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no. Hell no.

For us. Listen, I'm taking the gig. I'm taking the gig. I want to be. I want to be the king of pain and when the other two say no. And I'm pretty sure no human being has ever been recorded taking a bite from a giant squid before I'll take the gig for four. X. Wow.

That's, it's going to be great. I mean, I'll go as I'll go humble squid, but that's Max. I'm terrified, by the way, but I'm doing it just for the cloud. Just for the cloud. We thought about it. You talked about trying to do a squid? Yeah, that would be cool. We put on, we put Humboldt on the maybe list.

And then that's at least a golf ball chunk out of you. Pretty hard to get. Pretty hard to facilitate. Here's my last one, and then my associate Retep has one ready. Just a personal thing, I grew up in the bayou of Louisiana. I've heard stories about people getting their calves removed by alligator snapping turtles. I'm willing to pay you each a flat fee for this episode of $80,000 to take an alligator snapping turtle to the calf. Adam?

Oh, man. Yeah, you got one. Rob, what are you thinking? Can we count on you here at Streaming Service X? Well, Adam was in Australia where he gets free surgery, I'm assuming. So, no, my surgery is going to be more than 80 grand. Rob's out for us. What do you think?

I'll do it with Adam. I've taken a snapping turtle bite, and it wasn't good, but I'll do it with Adam. I'm in for the snapping turtle. I don't know if I'm going to have any legs left between the squid and the alligator snapper, but I'll give it a whirl. Wow.

All right. For Tep, I know you were interested. Because it's got tree legs, big legs. That's right. I haven't played 20-something years of rugby to have pinstick legs, right? I got extra leg to spare. No, pinstick.

Does anyone know what a pinstick is? Do you mean pencil? He's very drunk. As am I, F.I. I can't really top that, but I do have a semi-interesting one. No flat fee. This is just in your deal memo. We want to know if you'll do.

Adam, will you allow just a one-foot-long rat to gnaw on your pinky fingertip for 25 minutes? Not a chance. Not a chance. I've been bitten by rats. What's saying? It's blocked. Bro, you just have bone left. There would just be bones sticking out of there.

Let me sweeten the deal. Let me sweeten the deal a little bit. I know 25 might have been a bit extreme. How about, how about for just 60 seconds? No. No. You okay? Okay, Rob?

They're bad. Then, before Kings of Pain, I got a gig getting bitten by non-venomous snakes for a high-speed camera. You're insane, by the way. That sounds cool. Wimper. Never let a whimper. I grabbed a rat to feed one of the snakes, and I screamed so loud. Everyone made fun of me after that.

So you're in? So you're in then? Well, I'm saying they freaking hurt, but my left pinky is so messed up. I can spare it. So I'm going to do the messed up pinky messed up from the python by. You can take that one. He's pulling a card that the rest of us don't have to pull. Yeah, I'm out.

I'm out. I went to the Vietnam. You are the king of pain. Yeah, he is. I went to the Thai Torture Museum. This is a real place, by the way, if you're ever in Bangkok. It's insane. It's really cool.

He's a good place for a date. That's what I did. With a lady boy, it was lovely. No, but one of the things that they had in the Thai torture museum is they would take a rat and they would put it in a bucket and put it into your abdomen. Or like put the bucket against your abdomen. And after a certain amount of time, rat would chew into your intestines.

Oh, and they blow torch the top of us? Yes, sorry, yes. Game of Thrones. I've heard of this. Yeah. They do that Game of Thrones? Yeah. Don't remember that.

Anyway, yeah. I'm just kidding. I don't know. I'll take all the hard stuff, but the, uh, the, the 24 year old human and the rat, I'm out. I'm out. Those are, those are too mundane. Well, human bites are nasty.

Yeah. I was going to, believe it or not, you will care, you will share all the same diseases as that human. because we're all humans. Yes. That's a good point. Also, nobody flosses. Nobody flosses.

The last time anybody's ever flossed their teeth. Nobody actually flosses. You know, if a human mouse is a cessful, it's disgusting. I do brush my teeth too hard. We're losing gums. I think we talked about that. It is funny that the only thing that, while me and Pat have ever been bitten by, is likely the human.

100%. And it's awful. It's terrible. And it's, it sounds like, it's one of the worst. Leaves a mark. Yeah, it's a dirty bite, that's for sure. It's nice to have guests on,

two guests that both when I Peter suggested getting bitten by a rat were like, I've been bit by many rats. I tried to put a little color on my pet rat and she bit me. And yeah, it was horrible. I'll never do that again.

All right, let's play the big game. Let's play the real thing. We do this, then we wrap out, let's do it. All right. I think I know what time it is. Now we know what time it is. Battle royale.

Patrick, you set up. I got something of been noodling. Okay, well, this is a game that we play, Adam and Rob, who have definitely never listened. But we play it every week. It's the listener's favorite thing. We just, we create a scenario, and then we do, I don't think a snake draft's going to work. Too many people, right? No.

No, it's five. Yeah, too many people. And then the listeners vote on who wins, and you win nothing for winning except pride. What's the situation for us? So here's what we're going to do. We are on the Kings of Pain special episode podcast. So this is going to be our Kings of Pain Battle Royale. And what that means is you are going to take three animals, and they are going to bite you at the same time.

Now, you not being you, they're going to bite your enemy at the same time. And those three animals, you have to pick the three animals that are going to inflict the most pain on your enemy in one sitting. Now, there's two caveats to this. Okay? You cannot pick two of any one group of animal. So no two bugs, no two snakes, no two hippos, whatever you want. Yeah. No two of anything.

Okay. The victim cannot die. Okay, and we're not taking into account allergic reactions, okay? So we're not going to be like, oh, Typan, you're fucked. No, no. The victim cannot die. They just have to suffer. And that's it.

Those are the only caveats. Okay. So you came up with it for us? I think you need to go first. Yeah. Indeed. Indeed, I shall. Right.

I will do it. Okay. So I'm up first. So here's my scenario. Okay. You're tied down to a table. It's a real bad time to be tied to. down to a table because on your foot, and you have to pick where you're getting stung, by the way,

making that up as I go, on your foot, on the arch of your foot, which for me is a very sensitive spot, don't know why, maybe it is for everybody, you are going to take a stone scorpion fish. Yep, take that, Adam, that's mine. I better write these down. Oh, yeah, and you can't reuse anything. That's how it works. Oh, yeah. You are going to take a stone scorpion fish spine on the bridge of your foot. foot. Simultaneously, in the face. I'm going to say around the eyes, you are going to take, I'll say that, I'll take the scolopender off the table. You're going to take a giant

centipede sting on the face. Okay. Christ almighty. Yeah, no, you're not in a good scenario. Okay, I got one bug, I got one fish, and now I forgot to mention that you are tied down, face down on this table. And on your behind, on your bottom, on your bottom is going to be a bucket with said rat that we have been discussing inside of it. No blowtorch. It's up to the rat. How many times he bites if he wants to bite? If he's not going to bite, maybe you get off easy. But if he decides he's going to borrow into your hindquarters, then you just have to wear it. This is fucking gross what you've done. Yeah, that's terrible. I know. I really, I really like it. And like he's set, he's set the pace here.

So it's like anything more extreme than that is, it's unbelievable. Well, someone who called the FBI and have them sent to Forrest's house now. Because this is bad stuff. All right. Who's up next for us? Let's get, let's put Adam up next. Let's put Adam on the spot. He got very upset when I stole his Stone's Corp.

All right. So first up, I'll. I'll go male platypus. Wow. Mammal. Out of the meat. They have venomous spurs, the males do. And apparently the pain can last for a long time.

So I'm going to do a sting from one of them. Somewhere sensitive. All right, I'll do it. Actually, anywhere's going to hurt. All right, I'll do it on the fingers because that really bloody hurts. Right on the fingers. Oh, yeah, fingers suck. Then I'm going to get a, what is it, the wandering spider that makes.

you get an erection for ages. Yep. Yep. It's a Brazilian wandering spider. A boy from that, you get a painfully hard erection. Right. Oh, my God. But hey, hey, hey, hear me out here.

That might sound all right. Then you dip said erection into water with a candoroo. Gosh, wow. Oh, come on. That's way worse than mine. That's good stuff. You can't die. And then you've got a catfish up there with spines.

You can't even kill yourself. You just got to live with this. You just got a lot. That is your life now. That is your life now. That's way worse than mine. I'm already been out. Played, Retep, you're up.

Let's go. Okay. So my first bite is going to come to the nipple. It will be a Gila monster because they have very sharp. Heel a monster. Guy that's Googling. No, Gila. I'm from the Midwest.

We call it a Gila there. They've been known to flip. over while biting to further open the wound. So they're just basically going to, your whole tit is just going to be filleted open. One booby. It's going to hurt for a while. It's going to take a long time for that. Quora.com is quite informative.

We can, um, Rob and I can kind of confirm that it probably does really fucking hurts. No way. Wow. I won't, I won't dig into that. I did not know that you guys had done that. I also thought he was like pretty lethal. I didn't say if we'd done it or not. That's true.

You didn't. It probably really fucking knew. Probably. Probably. Close relative. Wow. Yikes. I don't know.

Something beaded. Who would know? Oh, yeah. Yeah. All right. So my second, my second bite is going to come. Oh, it's actually not going to be a bite. It's going to be a sting from a sting ray, which is, it has a stinger that's laced in venom.

The barbs are known to break off in the wound. You know where it's going to. to sting you, or it's going to stab you, I should say, right in the taint between the balls and the asshole. Just boom. Probably going to cause some type of hernia. Yeah, that's not a good place to take a stingray spine to the taint. It's a 25 on the pain scale.

The scenarios, the visuals in which that takes place, the squatting over the stingray, the tickling it. That's quite something. Very nice. Please continue. I like that you're going for all genitals, by the way. Yeah, of course he is. Okay.

No, this last one is going to, no. Well, I mean, that would be a bad bite. Don't get rid of that. Yeah, you're living with that. No, this one's going to go straight for the face. Okay. Needed one for the face. And it was talked about earlier.

I made my list before because I knew what topic was going to be. And it's going to be a box jellyfish that is just. All right. I think this I think right on your face. Norris. It's farting on your faces, it sounds like. Here's the thing though. And we all just love to make fun or a temp, but I think he's out because I don't think

you're surviving this. He'll it to the nipple, boxed jellyfish to the face? That's right. Adam, what do you think? I see you nodding. Are you pulling through this one? Is he Duked? Yeah.

You can't dek? I mean, you could, but it doesn't. I thought we were in some kind of world where you don't die. Sorry. No, that was the whole point was, yeah, I got it. Very good. Now, Forrest is a droopy-eyed alcoholic. I mean, he didn't understand, and he's making up rules as he does.

He drinks one day a month, but when he does, he's a silly little kid. That is very accurate. That's what we call a binge alcoholic. All right, you are not DQed Retap. Stop calling me an alcoholic. Rob, you are up next. Bring it. Let's keep going. What's up? This got tough. Some of my animals

got snipe. Come on, Rob. We've got some motivation. I have an incredible moment. Oh, here we go. We're going nuts from the they cannot wait. All right. Here we go. Here we go. You're on your dream vacation in the Amazon. And then

you go for a swim, right? And an Akonda comes up and bites you on the head and wraps you up. Just not big enough to kill you. Just big enough to wrap your arms up. to where you can't swim and get it off you. Well, that's going. You're skinny dipping, by the way, because you thought that was cool. And your worm gets taken off by a black piranha.

Wow. So now you're running it to the neck. Yeah. And then while you can't move, the six-foot electric heel comes up and just falls in love with your taint and just starts shutting. Man, another taint and double taint. When I set this up, I did not think it was going to be a double

taint kind of episode, by the way. I'm just trying to think of what a electric shock to the taint would feel like. I think it might be a fucking great. Yeah. It might feel like, stimulate the prostate or something like. You never know. You have five adults

whose combined age is probably around 170 years old, and we've had two taint references and we're about to get another one. Love it. Let's go, Papa P. Bring us home. Mine's real simple, and I'm going to win with my first bite.

I'm going similar to Forrest, except you're taped to a wall standing up nude. The first bite is going to be right to your, and we've taken a blow dryer to your testicles, so they're very hangy and they're very, very supple. Yeah, a human adult is going to bite one of your testicles. Oh, come on. Come on.

I'm sorry. This was the game that was created. It was. That's bad. You're just a sick man. I guess that could be good, too. Yeah. No more man.

The second one. Yeah, I'm terrified. The second one is a bombardier beetle is going to spray 100 degrees Celsius, 21212 degree, hot acid directly on to your uvula, the little hangy ball in the back of your throat. That's not going to feel good.

going to be annoying. It's going to think it's going to say. And then I'm going to take the 1,100 PSI bite force to the foot to the foot, the top of the foot of a hyena. Oh. Very simple. Wow. That's crushed binds. It's not going to call it.

That's another mammal, though, sir. That's two mammals you picked in your... Two mammals. Yeah. That's against the rules. You can't have two mammals, sir. Oh, yeah. That's true. Why are you looking at me strange? Pick another animal. Well, he's right.

He's right. Yeah, I fucked that up. Oh, and now he's got a research. He's a deke. No, I was trying to figure out what the other animal was. You know what? Let's let it slide. Let's let it slide.

Let's let it slide. Let's let it slide. We're going to let it slide. And here's what's going to happen, okay? Robin Adam, we have this awesome guy named Dave, Dave, Dave Sunshine on Instagram who does mock-ups for battle royals. Usually it's like, it's a hippo with a buffalo's head. I'm really curious to see how he draws these guys up for us.

But let me recap. So for the listeners, Dave's not going to draw these up. That's porn. So let me recap. So for tonight's Battle Royale, you have forest coming in with a stone scorpion fish to the foot, a giant centipede to the face, and a wrap to the buttocks. Okay? Adam is bringing a male platypus into the fingers, a wandering spider into your peepie,

which is going to make it stand up and not go down. And then that a candiru is going to swim up, said peepie. and put its spines in there. God, I was very weak in my picks tonight. That still sounds like. Retep is coming in next with a Gila monster to the nipple, a stingray barb to the taint, and a box jellyfish to the face.

Questionable as to whether or not you'll survive that. Rob has a lovely scenario where you're in the Amazon, you take an anaconda to the head, a piranha to the dick, an electric eel zap to the taint, while Papa P brings us home with a human chomp on the nut sack, A bombardier beetle to the uvula.

That's some hot acid in the throat. And a hyenas mash to the foot. So this is a hell of a Battle Royale. I hope we never do this one ever again. I don't like to say to any of this. I want to do every episode. I love it. Brocasters weigh in.

Let us know what you think. Let us know who won tonight's Battle Royale. Make sure you tune into Kings of Pain on Snapchat, because apparently it's big there. It's also on the history channel. Go and give Adam and Rob a follow. What are your socials, guys? Where do the people find you?

Instagram is probably the one I use the most. It's just Adam underscore Thorn. Cool. Yeah, Instagram as well. And cave. What's that? A lot of shirtless picks, Adam or no? He does have a certain following.

There are. Let's be honest. There are plenty. Sorry, Rob. What about you? And I'm Caveman Rob. Caveman R-O-B. Nice.

Awesome. I could. Shirtless picks. There's some assless chaps somewhere. in there. Rob's also the only person I've ever seen who hand catches a paddlefish on his Instagram, which by the way, that's quite a feat. So go and check that out.

Check out their socials. They do come with handles. I just never considered picking him up like that. And I will one day, Rob. I'm taking you up on that offer. We will do that one day. Way in Broussner, let us know what you think. Retep, you want to do the thing?

Yeah. By the way, I just want to say real quick, this is the 12-year-old version of me. Like, I could have done a six-hour post. podcast with these guys. Yeah, no question. It's super fun. The show's really, really fun. And actually, I think, you know, no animals have ever been hurt.

It's a fucking great show. And I think what you guys do is, is unbelievably brave and super fucking cool. And I'm jealous. And I, if you do another season, can I come to set, please? Yeah. That would be awesome. That would be awesome. That would be cool.

All right. Retep. Rappen out. Yes. If you just listen to this podcast, because it automatically downloaded to your phone. Go check it out on YouTube. You can find all the links to YouTube anywhere to listen to the podcast

at the Wild Times Podcast.com forward slash info. And check out that Patreon where we release what? Four more episodes a month? A bunch of extra episodes that you can check out. In addition to the free ones that come out on Monday, that is patreon.com forward slash Wild Times Pod. Wild Times Pod for all the socials. Guys, I love you.

Thanks, Adam and Rob and Brousners. Love you too. Thanks for having them. Yeah. I'm going to drink three more fruit smash. Fall asleep at 8 p.m. No problem. I have to go tell my wife how much I drank during this podcast.

Yeah, good. She deserves to know.