Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #94 - Turning Fear Into Fascination with Ms. Mallory, Queen of Creepy Crawlies

Episode Date: April 11, 2022

Join The Wild Times crew chillaxing on the couch at Retep’s place as they chat with the one and only Ms. Mallory, Queen of Creepy Crawlies! This woman is a serious badass with plenty of gross creepy crawly tales to share. Between her Fear2Fascination program, 8 Minutes of Ew podcast, and Weird Nature series, Mallory brings a new perspective into play that makes bugs and insects cool, not creepy.    Watch on YouTube for some of the gnarliest and most amazing creepy crawly videos and images. For our brosteners just listening, don’t stress, this episode is full of wild and gnarly stories. We love you! TWT #94 - The Breakdown   00:00 - INTRO: Robot Kyle counts us down   1:35 - Meet the queen of creepy crawlies, Ms. Mallory!   3:10 - Mallory’s story: fear to fascination   5:08 - How Forrest met Mallory   6:11 - Guess the skull with Ms. Mallory and Forrest Galante (super cool, go watch on Youtube!)   07:50 - Check out Mallory’s hagfish in a jar   8:00 - Ms. Mallory goes to Narcisse Snake Dens   10:00 - The Ms. Mallory and F2F angle for wildlife conservation   12:48 - Eating bugs is cool. Even Rhodes Galante is doing it!   15:30 - Mallory ruins blue cheese for everyone #science   16:37 - All about Ms. Mallory’s pod, 8 Minutes Of Ew   17:58 - Brosteners listening on a “listening device” (Forrest Galante 2022), time to come to Youtube for some tantalising wildlife video content!   19:04 - Superpowers of the velvet worm   20:14 - Why salamanders are SO dang cool   24:45 - African clawed frogs make good pregnancy tests AND deathly chytrid fungus diseases   26:25 - Ms. Mallory’s experience with botfly nesting in her HEAD (*brosteners, do yourself a favour and go to the Youtube for some horrific botfly extraction footage*)   29:21 - Mallory’s first expedition into the Belize jungle 31:20 - Forrest Galante’s survival tips: how to NOT get botflies   37:40 - Maggot debridement therapy a.k.a “Nature’s Neosporin” (Retep 2022) (*more gnarly content on the Youtube*)   40:10 - Fascinating leech facts: medical leeches used for surgery recovery?!    41:44 - Forrest’s horrific leech story: Extinct or Alive behind the scenes   44:20 - Ms. Mallory’s creepy crawly tips: how to remove leeches properly   46:33 - How Mallory brings wildlife to underprivileged children   49:10 - Where to find more of Ms. Mallory and what’s next?!   51:00 - Forrest casually ruins how we perceive toothpaste #hagfishfacts   51:40 - BATTLE ROYAAAAAAALE, Creepy Crawly Edition Rules: Choose 3 elements of weird animals to create the most disgusting, off putting creepy crawly.  *No 2 picks from 1 category (spiders etc) *Snake draft   52:55 - Forrest’s first pick: creepy, undulating legs of a millipede   53:42 - Retep’s first pick: head and beady eyes of a sewer rat   54:5 - Mallory’s first pick: nightmarish head of a lamprey. Second pick: tongue of a parasitic wrasse   55:55 - Retep’s second pick: tentacles of a giant squid AND a bonus Retep fact about giant squids   56:60 - Forrest’s second pick: body of a slime eel / hagfish. Last pick: face of a blobfish (Retep’s spirit animal - repping the merch)   59:00 - Retep’s last pick: stinky body (glands specifically) of a skunk   59:58 - Mallory’s last pick: creepy hairy body of a tarantula   1:01:26 - BR Recap (Dave Sunshine, get ready to create some gross as mockups)   1:02:25 - OUTTRO & where to find Ms. Mallory   Brosteners, don’t forget to comment and vote who you think made the grossest,

Let's give us a countdown. Kyle. Three. Two. I love how Kyle counted down like a robot. Very slowly. Yeah. Kyle is part Android. All right.

Well, here we are. We're back. It is the Wild Times episode number 95. And a very, very special Wild Times podcast today. Mm-hmm. Because joining us all the way from Tennessee, Peter's Lice just went out. There's an apocalypse in Los Angeles. I'm leaving.

I'm done. Sorry, Mallory. We got to go. Bye. All right. And lights are back. Okay. All right.

Let's get back on track here. Episode number 95. This is the Wild Times podcast, the greatest podcast in the world. I am your host, Forrest Galante. The, what am I? Broologist. An idiot. Oh, yeah.

The broologist. Joining me, as always, the wonderful Peter Retep, the Brofessor, Ph. Ph.D. And how are you, Peter? I'm good. We've been here all day, and I'm getting real sick of you and tired of your shenanigans. Really? No, just kidding. I thought I'd been pretty pleasant. Oh, that was the saddest look I've ever seen on a man's face. I thought I'd been like a pretty good house guest. I've been like very polite. Your dog's been a better house guest. But more importantly, fuck me. Who else is here? Kyle! Kyle! Is here. Kyle's in the studio in Peter's living room. That is our studio. He's running things. And we're doing something special today. Real special. The most special part is that Patrick's not here. That's the best part of my. day. Best part. But even more special than that, joining us is the very special Miss Mallory. Woo! Yeah!

Around now. I'll take it. Hi, Valerie. How are you? Welcome. I'm good. Thank you guys for having me on. This is pretty awesome. I listen to your podcast when I work out. Nice. Really? Yeah, I'll get my, I'll get my daily dose of bro. It must be very demotivating listening to us during a, during a workout, I would imagine. Yeah. Just middle-aged men having a conversation. Sounds grim. Nothing is more inspiring, yes. All right, good. So Mallory, for those that don't know you, they should know you. Let's start at the beginning. Let's start at the beginning. That's the way to start.

Right? I met Mallory. Start at the end. You start at the end, work backwards with a few flashbacks cut in. Yeah. Yeah. There we go. Mallory and I met like six, seven years ago, right? Yeah, we were babies. we were babies making big mistakes. And Mallory and I met and I was, I was just figuring out like the TV thing. I just started producing. I just started doing it.

And I was trying to figure out like how to do more TV. And Mallory was killing it in the like creepy crawly space. And by the way, for those that don't know if you're watching this podcast, that is Mallory's niece. She's, she's the queen of the creepy crawlies. And don't let her very beautiful like composed demeanor fool you. She will touch the grossest slimyest things, which is probably why she became friends with me. So anyway, Mallory and I met.

Mallory and I met and we, yeah, first of all, before we go to the whole story, tell us how you became the queen of the creepy crawlies. I think I just kind of fell into it. I didn't have any enough stuff when I was growing up. And I was when I was about 20, I was terrified of everything. And so I was like, you know what? We're just going to get over this. So I ended up just started going to the jungle, hanging out with anybody who was willing to let me

hitchhiked with them and I started hanging out with you. I think actually Forrest, you're the first one ever showed me my first wild rattlesnake. I remember that. That was awesome. Mortified. But it was like my first. So you went, sorry, go ahead.

No, go, please. So you went from basically just being terrified of insects and whatnot. And then you're like, well, I'm just going to go to the jungle and touch all these insects. Yeah, why can you do that? No. I'm 30 because I'm almost 40. that's why.

But so I mean, yeah, it's funny how when we get older, how we start thinking about all that, that shit, like you're like, oh man, that medical bill is going to get super high

if I try to something I'm not supposed to. Totally. I'll eat that. Yeah. Basically, yeah, I grew up where no, no outdoors,

no science, no wild stuff. And I wanted to get into conservation. And I noticed that that entails going into the field and dealing with stuff that I'm usually screaming. And so just started to hunker down and get it.

Nice. And Mallory's got an awesome slogan, if you will, which is turning fear into fascination. Ooh, I like that. It is really good. And honestly, I think how she figured out is genius. But it's like, I think it's what everybody in our field in the like wildlife presenter field actually strives to do.

Sure. It's like turn fear into fascination. Because that's a thing. Like, when you understand something, you begin to appreciate it. And when you appreciate it, you begin to care about it. Yeah. Right? And so the breaking down that fear barrier is a big part of that.

But anyway, so, so yeah, Mallory and I met, I just done, what? I just done like my first extincter alive at that point, right? Yeah. Yeah. And so we were hanging out. We went and caught rattlesnakes. And Mallory was telling me all about these, like, quite frankly, disgusting things. No, they're not.

They're cool. All, you know, slime eels and, like, insects, like, Bombadier Beetle, your favorite. Oh, yeah. Yeah, all these cool things. And we actually tried to pitch a TV show together, which was still really good, but we partnered with terrible people

instead of partnering with Patrick. And you just, like, sort of mess that whole thing up. Yeah. But as you do when you're learning. Yep. And then Mallory up and moved to Tennessee, right? And now, like, look at her freaking, look at her studio. Dude, I was saying earlier when we got disconnected,

how great that background is. Thanks. I always wanted my own research station, so I created it in my basement, basically. But, yeah, I love it. Lots of skulls. Like, do you know what? Yeah. Will people be watching this on YouTube?

Yeah. Yep. Oh, yeah. So this is one of my favorite. It's a replica. It's not real. Forrest, do you know what that is? I don't know if you've been.

But looks like, let me see. See the front of it. Oh, look at those teeth. Is that sorry? It's got to be. it's got to be like a leopard seal. Is that close? It is a seal.

It's not leopard seal. Leopard seals eat these babies. Ah. So it's a fur seal? Called crab eating seal. But they're pretty neat because they actually eat plankton, not crabs. Oh, wow. That's amazing.

Why do they call them a crab eating seal? What's up with that? That's confusing. That's nature. So what's the purpose of it? What's the purpose of those teeth on there? Why are they jagged in that crazy Christmas tree way? Yeah, it's kind of like a sea.

So they're going to take a big mouth full of seawater with krill and plankton in it. They push their tongue and it basically pushes the water out like Baleen in a Baleen oil. Oh, wow. That's incredible, man. Pretty awesome. Evolution. Nature, you crazy. So, Mallory, tell everybody that's tuning in.

Let's pretend this is the first time anybody's ever seen you. what like you've got a kid's angle you're doing a podcast you know tell us more about this like fear to fascination give us some examples of the creepy crawlies and the the the the slimy is always stick out to me she does this stuff with lamprey I don't know it just it's in my head those are the ones that spit goo everywhere they remember the car crash with the like all the car was like stuck to the road yeah yeah yeah yeah the high fish that this is oh my god she's got one she's got one on hand. Is that alive? No. No. Okay. It's in ethanol. Um, yeah. So basically, I went, traveled around and went to Narciss Snake Dens. I don't know if you guys have ever heard of that.

It's when like 10,000 garters snakes come up from their wintering dens and you can actually see the ground pulsate is a crazy. Paul, pull up a picture while Mallory's talking about Narcissus Dens. It's N-A-R-C-I-S-S-I-S-S- Yes. Narsus snake den. And so that was kind of like my pinnacle. I was like, this is awesome. This is what I wish everyone could experience. Going from terrified to wanting to lay down and have all these garters snakes crawl all over

you. But once that kind of hit, yeah, that's all snakes, Peter. Did you just say that you wanted them to like, you wanted to be under that pile of snakes? That's what you said. Yeah. That's like the pinnacle of

overcoming your fear, right? It's like something that is so terrifying. now is like your dream to experience. It's like the Indiana Jones snake pits in real life. So you went and did narcissists? Yeah. So I went to narcissistic up in Manitoba, Canada. And we went to an area that was kind of, it was off site.

So they asked you not to touch me the snakes while you're in the reserve area. And I didn't, you don't ask you to pick any of them up. So we didn't do anything that, but we just filmed them. but it's just to see like the ground just wriggle and arrive and it was the coolest thing. But anyways, when I was like, okay, that is what I want kids to experience because that's something I missed out when I was a kid. And so we started fear to fascination and basically I go around. There's a little girl.

She was six. She called me up and her mom did and said that the boys were making fun of her saying that she's not supposed to like bugs or snakes or anything. So we went on a hike and was catching snakes and bugs. So that's the kind of stuff I would like to do is get more girls and kids in general just excited about nature. Yeah, that's something we talk about on the podcast quite a bit, you know. Well, Forrest talks about a lot. It's really about, you know, bringing wildlife to people who wouldn't necessarily otherwise be involved with it, you know, more than like a zoo or whatever kind of what he does.

It seems to be something that runs through a lot of the top. kind of most passionate animal researchers and whatnot out there. And Mallory is a lot better than I am because I just go around and, you know, people sitting on their couches can watch it. Mallory used to like go, correct me if I'm wrong, Mallory, but you take like inner city and underprivileged kids and take them out into the field. I remember when you're doing that. Was it around San Diego, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We were able to take them out, take them to the desert, take them snorkeling. And I was terrified of the ocean growing up. I wouldn't go past my knees. And you see like forests doing paddle. boarding with great whites. I'm still not at that level.

If you come visit now, you know that we do that and you'd be okay with it. Yeah. Like, I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, that's a big medical bill on my part. Hey, you got, you got coverage. You're fine. You'll be right. But anyway, so yeah, sorry. The medical bills. Right. But keep telling us. Keep telling us. Yeah. So you, yeah, so you would take these inner city kids and one of the things you were always doing is breaking down these stigmas of like, I remember watching, in fact, you know what? I'm going to give Kyle when this is done a video that Mallory and I made with this production company, we'll cut the production company out of the end and we're going to put it on the Patreon. So if you're watching this on

YouTube, come over to Patreon, you're going to get to see what an actual TV sizzle looks like. You see Mallory inner element. I'm talking cockroaches on her head, giant spiders. Yes, this lovely lady right here with all these creatures. creepy crawlies. But anyway, I remember the reason I say all this is because part of it's in the sizzle. She used to take these kids. Imagine a kid from like the hood. Right. Right. Like never seen anything outside of like the concrete jungle. Mallory's picking this kid up, you know, here comes this, this girl like this blonde, bubbly girl and her like cockies picks up this bus full of inner city kids, drives them out to the desert and five minutes later she's like plonking tarantulas on their

foreheads. I bet they love that. Let's make a disclaimer. I've never put a transling by his head because that would definitely cause a lawsuit. But I'm exaggerating. I've never done that. Maybe when as long as parents aren't looking. But yeah, it's, it's been pretty fun. But it's not kind of crazy. Just in our culture, especially how like taboos some animals are, which is why, like, we're going to, I would like to like segue into like gross stuff. How we can look at something or one concept, Friends, like eating bugs, which I know Forrest is probably dead. Have you done that?

Have both of you guys done that, eating bugs? Have you tried bugs? No, one time somebody put a freeze-dried cricket in my drink and it was disgusting, but that's as close as I've been to that. My kid, side note, Rhodes, absolutely chowls, freeze-dried crickets. Really? Loves them. Like, my mom, like, it's like her thing with him.

She, I forget how it even happened. I think I had them in, like, in my office. Like, somebody sent them to me as, like, a sampler, and I'm like, I don't really want to eat these. And I like opened them and my kid came by and just chowled like a whole bag of like ranch dressing flavored crickets. Now he eats gallons of them. But anyway, sorry, please continue, Mallory. It's good. It's sustainable. That's a great point, right? It's practiced throughout the entire world, but in our culture for some reason, it's very taboo. Like eating insects is archaic, primitive. I guess like the last thing you're going to want to eat. But then we sidestep

just barely on like a biological level. And if you, but then you start looking at like marine arthropods, which are crabs and lobsters, and we're ready to eat them anytime. So I think it's so fascinating how, I don't know, we can think something is disgusting when really we eat exactly the same thing. I've always had that thing, too. It's like, and I've told this story before on the podcast, I worked on a farm where we sold sweet corn and it was fresh picked every day. And they had these ears of corn that had corn cancer. And they were black fungus, right? Yeah, it's like a black fungus, they're all deformed in different colors and stuff. And my boss is like, you know, in some other Asian country, I believe. No, no, it's in like Peru. It's in South America.

Right. So in Peru, it's a delicacy. And here it's like disgusting. You know, disgusting. Like, you're like, ew, like get it out. It's like slimy and weird and the tassels all messed up. And then, um, and then of course you have all, you've mentioned the whole thing about lobsters. They were fed to like convicts or something in Maine. And then, they became a delicacy. Not only were they fed to convicts, it became outlawed because it was considered cruel and unfair punishment to be feeding inmates lobster. Right, right. Crazy. Do you guys like blue cheese by chance? I do. I don't like it by itself. Like I won't just like chow a chunk of blue cheese on a cracker. That's too much. But in like a nice Waldorf salad, yes, please. I mean,

I like it, but only because I'm fat. I mean, I'll eat anything that will satiate me. It doesn't really, I mean, you know, and it's cheese, right? I love cheese the most, but it's like Forrest said, I mean, if it's on like a cracker with some meat, yeah, but it's not like I'd stick, you know, take a handful of it and take a bite out of it. So the, you know, blue cheese smells like feet, right? Yes. Have you ever wondered why it smells like feet?

Well, I do now. Why? Yeah, now, now I do. So the same bacteria that's on your feet that, like, makes your eyes tear up whenever you take your boots off. That's the same bacteria they put in the fermentation process. Oh, come on. So next time you're crazy, like lick your foot,

and I think you might get the same. Oh, dude, I got to tell my wife this because she hates feet. And she's a neat for you, too. And she loves blue cheese. Isn't that crazy? It is. Smells a lot like puke. Oh, it does.

You're ruining cheese for me. Keep it up, Mallory. We're going to get Peter Skinny eventually. Oh, yeah. This is the Mallory. diet. New segment. Yeah, listen to my podcast. I'll make it skinny. So tell us about your podcast. You know what? There's so much to get into here. What should we do next?

We talk about her podcast. I want to, it's a perfect segue. What I really, it is, and we should do that. But I really want her to like show some of the things she does because it's easy to sit here and talk about them. But you know, let's talk about the podcast first. Tell us about your podcast, Mallory. So this, the first podcast that we're making, I'll have the adult version later. But the first one's a family friendly. It's eight minutes of ew. It talks about the science behind gross things. We talk about mind-altering parasites, cockroaches, hagfish, which are the ones that, like, shoot the slime out.

That is what you were talking about earlier with the carload of slime everywhere. Yeah. We talk about animals that eat poop and, like, where the white sandy beaches come from. It's really parrotfish poop. So all the cool science behind gross things, just so we can get more comfortable and learn that the animals that do the gross disgusting stuff is just as important as the ones that, you know, we highlight on BBC and Nat Geo and all those kind of things. Yeah. And the podcast is eight minutes because it says

eight minutes of view. Yeah, super short. Sorry. What's that? No, I just wanted to like bash Peter for a minute. We have to do these things for like 90 minutes. Why couldn't we have done it for eight minutes, Peter? We could have done 70 of them today. Because we enjoy each other's company for us. Clearly. Well, that's cool. All right. Mallory, give us, give the brosters. So our listeners, you know this, you listen to the podcast. Our listeners are called brocners. Give the brocerners something tantalizing.

Let's get, let's, we, people are going to watch this. For those that are listening on a listening device, I don't know where we listen. I don't know how this podcast works. A listening device. Come over to YouTube and watch what we're going to pull up. Mallory, give us something awesome to look out. Tell us something you want to share with us. Ooh.

I mean, the hagfish never disappoints. if you want to do a bunch of slime. You have a video of... Oh, no. Can we do maggot debridement therapy? Is this a video? No, I want to see one of your videos that you've made. Oh, that's what I'm talking about.

Boring. Google this stuff. All right. I don't know if I have anything on YouTube or anything. All my stuff is super wholesome. I'm just getting brave enough to die and show people the gross stuff. She's really short selling herself. For us. Way to make our guest uncomfortable.

You haven't seen her. She's full of shit, first of all. I love Mallory. I can say this because I'm a close friend of her. She's full of shit. Look at her. Look at this is her Instagram. Wow. Did you film this?

Oh, she's not sharing yet. But this is an incredible insect that's squirting. Oh, no. I just pulled out off on the internet. It's still fucking amazing. That's what I'm talking about. A velvet worm? Yeah.

I know that this is a velvet worm. I know, and I know that. it's shooting out a sticky digestive enzyme. I know nothing else. Tell us about what we're seeing here. Yes, this is a velvet worm. It's just a defense mechanism and you just said it right now. It's like has his own built-in water gun basically that shoots out like super sticky stuff. And then it jumps on the whatever they shoot, usually cricket. And then they are able to, I don't know. Do they stick a venom? I think they stick a venom in it. And then it basically starts liquefine. it and they'll start eating it from there.

Yeah, I mean, I definitely see why, like, how somebody could really get into this. This is even just this video, like, nope, these are not monsters or aliens. These are just insects that are, like, that are shot in high res, you know? What's another one, Kyle? Let's go back to Mallory's page. She's short-selling herself. By the way, if you're watching this or listening, just go and look at Mallory's page. I don't know why she's pretending it's not full of really, really cool stuff.

But it is awesome. This is salamander eggs, which are always cool. Do you know where the biodiversity hotspot for salamanders in the United States? I do. Peter, do you? Of course not. Pretty awesome. The southeast is exactly where Mallory is. Oh, sorry, Mallory.

Go ahead. I was like, Peter, give yourself more credit. I think he did. The southeast, correct me from wrong, Mallory, exactly where Mallory lives, is not only the United States biodiversity, hot spot for salamanders with something like 68 species or something. It's the number one biodiversity hotspot for salamanders in the world. There are more species of salamander in the United Southeast than there are anywhere else on the planet. Now, what's a salamander? Is that an

animal? Oh, come on. You're kidding at the point. Is it a bird? Are you serious or joking? I can't tell. Well, you can figure that out. All right. He's seriously. Mallory, what's flatwoods? What what should we look at? What's the best salamander that you're, that you're working with? That's hard. I mean, I always like the newt, you know, because it's so cool, because you have the juvenile that comes on land. That's an F, EFT, it's red, and then it goes back into the water. But there's just so many cool ones. Some that are like super tiny about the size of, you know, maybe an inch that, and then you have some that eat others and they're about six inches. So there's some pretty unique ones

depending on where you want to go. There's some that climb trees. That's always cool. Let's do my favorite one. What's my favorite? The mud puppy. The mud puppy. Oh, that's a good choice.

Look at this thing. What a cool animal. Now, the hellbender always gets the credit. Everybody talks about hellbenders, which are the... That's true. They're much larger. They're awesome. I've caught them.

I've worked with them with both Mallory and I's mutual friend Mike Nore, but these guys are the prettier, more interesting version of the Hellbender, if you ask me. Look at these things. I mean, they're just such cool looking salamanders. They have like a little flamenco dancer guild. Yeah, so what are these frills on the neck for? Gild. So it's pretty amazing. They don't, so most salamanders will have like a larval stage that's in the water and they have gills and then they move out of the water and they kind of turn into that very sleek looking salamander

that we know. These ones don't. They stay, they look like they're juvenile form all the way through their adulthood. So what you're seeing is the gills and then the red part that you see is kind of like gill attachments. It allows them to absorb more oxygen

out of water. Oh man, they're so beautiful. Like A.A. Avioli in the lungs, it filters out, you know how it filters out back? and the human lung kind of? I think so. I mean, I forgive me for not knowing my anatomy. I mean, they're filaments that attach onto, yeah, they create more surface area so they can absorb more oxygen.

Yeah. But imagine, like, imagine if your lungs were just on your back. Right. And, like, if a dust storm came up, you're just like, like, you just fucked. Right. Your lungs are coated in dust. Like, you're walking around L.A., homeless guy just throws something at you, you're dead. Yeah.

Like, you know, and it just shows you, like, how incredible these animals are. And there's still a very delicate animal, and especially Mallory can talk on this further, I'm sure. There's a chytrid fungus, which is affecting amphibians. So salamanders, nudes, frogs are all amphibians. There's this disease called chytrus fungus, which actually was probably created in a lab, by the way. And this isn't a conspiracy theory thing. It's like an actual known thing. And it is wiping out a lot of these incredible amphibians. Where was the hub of chitrid? Do you remember? I think it was San Diego, wasn't it? I don't know. But did it start from the small, quad, the African toads, the swimming ones that they used to use for pregnancy tests?

That's correct. No, you're correct. So when I say it was creating a lab, you may remember, we used to, you made a joke about pregnant ladies peeing on frogs when I told this story. Right. But we used to use African small clawed frogs, which you can bring a picture up, Kyle, are these, they're actually really cool frogs and they're all over, they're all over Southern California now, which they shouldn't be. They're invasive. But these, they're, they're where I'm from, which is Southern Africa, Zimbabwe. We had them native there. And they're these really cool frogs.

They look like this. They're fully aquatic. And what? How did it work, Mallory? I explained on the pod, but I've literally forgotten. It's probably the like five Moscow mules. But basically, you could take, you could use them as a pregnancy test because if a woman was pregnant, some cell in them would do something.

I can't remember you. Mallory probably knows better than you. I don't. No, unfortunately, I don't. Okay. But anyway, scientists were using these animals to create pregnancy tests. Right. And then they got out of the labs, of course, and they had this fungus, this chitrid fungus,

which is now spread rampantly all across the globe, wiping out amphibian populations by like 50%. So it's because of the P tests? Yes. That's where the fungus was created in, I think, unsterile environments in labs where frogs are stacked like that. Wow. So doing some research. basically into a product to

be sold. They accidentally created this fungus now that is basically decimating this fucking population. Yeah, we're good at that. We're good at that. We're good at that. We just like to destroy everything. Mallory, let me ask a question. So I just want to go back to when you first

got into everything. You said you were about 20 when you were like, hey, I'm going to face this fear. So what, like, did you seriously headed out to the jungle? Yeah. My first interest. a national trip. I just had a camera that I didn't know how to use and I fibbed and offered to do pictures and video for a nonprofit. I've left my horse. I mean, thankfully they like the pictures,

but I definitely wasn't telling the truth. Where did you go for that trip? Belize. Please. And I got like the bad juju. Like karma definitely bit me in the ask because I came home with six bot flies. I remember that. I remember that. Remember you had them in your head? What? And you were asking me, Mallory was texting me. She's like, I got these lumps on my head. You remember this, right? And you were texting me pictures. And I was like, okay, take some vast. Do you know what it bought fly is? No. That's what I was going to ask. Kyle. So I was like, take some Vaseline. You remember this? Mallory were texting back and forth and take a big chunk of Vaseline and put it on top of the lump. And literally like an hour later, Mallory texts me back. She's like, ew. You're so right. Wait. It's, look, so it came out of your skin when you put the Vaseline on there? No, so unfortunately it didn't. It was too small. They have this appendage, right, that will stick out as their breathing tube.

And it'll stick out of the skin. And you can try to pull it out. But if you accidentally pull the breathing tube and disconnect it from the botfly larva, then, you know, you have this dead larva running inside of you. So, so you had six botflies. and they were in your like head and face? I had three on my head, one on my chin, and two on my shoulder.

God. Oh, sorry, go ahead. I remember I was on a plane and I was like, shit, this is like itching. And I like pulled it and I guess it was angry, but it popped out. And this guy who was sitting behind me was just freaking. Oh my God.

Oh. By the way, I've never, I've never had one, which I don't understand how this is possible. Oh. So see, see its little breathing tube there? Yeah. And there's a couple different ways you can get them out. Either way, it's not good.

But you'll see, I mean, it's, yeah, Peter's not going to enjoy this one bit. But yeah, I remember texting with Mallory and we figured it out. And then you got, you went and got them all medically extracted, right? Yeah. Yeah. How was that? It was a great time. to the bug coming out of the guy's skin here.

Oh, my gosh, yeah. So you get tweezers inside. He's like slowly pull it out because it has like these little hooks that will hold on to the inside of the little burrow it makes inside your skin. Yeah. And so like it's like a very slow process and you can feel the hooks coming on. Oh my God. It's so much bigger than I thought.

And that's legit. Not a big one. Oh my God. That's fucking horrific. Imagine Mallory coming back from Belize with six of these that are over the place. And one on my chin. Yeah, that was sexy.

Kyle, can you make her big again? I have so many more questions about this experience. Well, not really. But so I do have more questions about how you got you. So you went over there and you basically dived right in. What did you kind of do when you got there? Did you go there to overcome? this fear that you were having?

I didn't know what I was doing. I think the hardest thing to go over your fear is just like experience, right? So you experienced it. And so I'm just, you'd walk and you, every sound you hear, you feel like something's going to jump out and eat you. Yeah. You just kind of curse out yourself the whole way and you're terrified. And then the next day it's not as terrifying.

And then the third day, you're like, all right, it's kind of fun. And then you just keep going. I mean, but there's so many things in the jungle that can kill you. I mean, fuck you up. And the majority of them are invisible. That's what I found out. And that's what's interesting about Mallory's line of work of being a communicator for these creepy crawlies is how many times on the podcast have people asked, you know, what's the animal you're the most scared of? What do I say every time?

Botfly. No, I say mosquitoes. I tell you all the time. I don't really listen to you. I really don't. But I always, I say every time. I'm like, it's mosquitoes. It's parasites.

Right. Those are the things that get you. you. So back to this Belize trip for a minute. So you're in Belize. You're taking photos. Everything's going well. You went central Belize, if I remember correctly, right? You were like in the jungle. You weren't on the coast. Is that right? Yeah. I haven't been to the coast yet. Every time I go to the jungle, and once you go to the jungle, like it keeps drawing you back. I mean, it's like this hypnotic seductress because there's always something else to find. And I mean, she gets you. And she beats you up too. I mean, I'm sure, for us, you've seen it, or you've experienced.

I mean, the cuts and the bruises and the bite, the bug bites are insane. For some reason, you just want to keep going back. If this wasn't publicly available, I'd pull down my pants and show everybody my left butt cheek right now from what, uh, what I have from these experiences. But regardless, here's a little tip for the brosters. Maui, do you know how you got your botflies? From mosquito bite. Yep. So the, the bot fly will lay her eggs on the mosquito.

and so when the mosquito bites you, it drops the egg into that wound. It's horrific. And then, so how long does it take for this bot fly to grow to the size we just saw? Is that like a week or is that like a month? It's like a couple weeks. It's like a couple of weeks.

To get to it like that adult grub size. But you feel it pretty much straight away. It's not like it ever, it's not like you're like, oh, what's this thing popping up? You like get a mosquito bite. The other way you can get us from drying laundry. We can talk about.

that point. You get a mosquito bite. Yeah, serious. You get a mosquito bite and you're like, wow, this is the worst mosquito bite I've ever had. It's really itchy. It's really large. It's not going away. And then like five days go by and you're like, wow, this is great. My mosquito bites infected. It looks like a giant zit. And then you're like, wait a minute. My mosquito bites moving. Oh. And you feel it. So like when you're sleeping, it doesn't like it when you're laying down flat and so start moving. Or if you're in a plane and the pressure changes, they get them really angry too. So you start getting nightmares of like, aliens eating your brain.

This is, this is worse than fucking bedbugs and I thought those were the worst insect in the world. It's also why you won't do anything and leave your house ever. Well, I mean, it's just, you know, I'll wear off. The repellent when I go out. But yeah, so the other way, so we're talking about tips for the brosters,

you can absolutely get them from mosquito bites, obviously, as Mallory did. And so, first of all, you never want to get bitten by mosquitoes, period, anywhere you go, especially in the tropics. Right. Now, secondly, if you are on a nice sweaty hike in Belize, anywhere, basically, and you decide,

hey, I'm going to go cool off, jump in the water, and then decide to hang your shirt up or your underwear up or something like that, you better believe it's going to be some botfly larva getting laid in there. You do not do that air dry in the hot tropical climate because they get bot fly.

And sometimes you will see like infestations of like dozens of bot fly on somebody. And it's usually from, them drying out their laundry in a hot tropical environment. And the first time that, I think it was Columbia. Yeah, we're in Columbia. And I remember Johnny, Mallory, Mallory knows Johnny really well. They've worked together a bunch.

Johnny goes and like, literally Johnny being Johnny goes and like scrubs all his undies in the Amazon River and then comes and hangs them up. And there's this line of like 15 pairs of undies on like day nine. And I'm like, what are you doing, dude? And he's like, dude, I got to wash my Johns. like they're so gross. I'm like, you have no idea what's about to be crawling around. You're junk, fella. Like, you cannot be doing that.

Like, you put those away or throw them out right now. Well, so how do the, and Mallory chime in, if you know, too. How do the larvae get into the shorts? Is that from mosquitoes also? Or they, oh, they fly. They're bought flies. Correct. Correct.

So do they eventually come out of your skin after they turn into a fly if you wouldn't weren't to get it removed? I think so. Do you know, Mary? They must hatch out, yeah. The grub falls out to the ground and then it'll pupate and it'll go into a fly.

It's fucking horrific. So you just have this little thing squirming around in your brain for six weeks and then it just comes out and turns into a fucking fly. Yep. Yeah, you've got to make sure you film it.

That's the only reason why I wanted to keep a minute so I could film it. It's pretty awesome, right? I mean, how many YouTube views did you get for that? I mean, I would go by it. Oh, dude, yeah. I mean, Coyote Peterson built his whole career on things of that nature. Totally.

So, yeah, so where are we? I was just saying you almost got into it with a rat lung worm, didn't you? On one of your episodes, you were talking about not licking or eating any of the snails? I wouldn't say I almost got into one because, like, it's like anything, right? Like, you don't know how many are contaminated. but we yeah in so in the in the southeast we've told we've talked about this before as well they have apple snails which are an invasive species as you know mallory and um the the apple snails carry rat lungworm remember we talked about this and it's like if you get rat lungworm it's you're not a

rat and it doesn't know where your lungs are so you end up with this parasite in your brain that ultimately is incurable and can kill you yikes which is just a lot of fun but yeah again i swear it was it's just johnny man he's trying to kill himself that kid He's a dupus. But we're, I actually think it was Mitch's time. But regardless, we're in Louisiana and like somebody's like picking up these snails and playing with them. I'm like, I wouldn't be playing with those if I were you.

Coming from the guy who's like playing with a pit viper or some kind of viper. Pit viper's fine, man. There's no parasites in that guy. It's those snails that'll get you. Well, like you said, I mean, the thing you're most scared of are these parasites and insects, man. 100%. That's why she is, she has less fear than you do to go out.

her whole thing is going and playing with these bot flies. All of our guests for the last several months have been much braver than me. Kings of Pain guys, they're just fucking themselves up on a daily basis. Mallory, we had Rob and Adam from the Kings of Pain on the podcast a few weeks ago. Then we had Coyote on recently, and I mean,

that guy's a nut. He's the best, but he's a nut, man. He's just like, I'm going to let the most venomous be in the world sting me in the penis. And I'm like, why? Why are you going to do that?

Don't do that. Now, Mallory, have you ever let a, poisonous animal sting you in the dick? Come on, Peter. You know, I was tempted at one time and then I was like, no, somebody else was going to beat me to it first.

You could have had your own TV show. Yeah, that's all it is. I could have gone viral, yes. Yeah, so Mallory gets back from Belize. She's now an accomplished photographer of the jungles and the critters. But still, how did you continue to go down? Like, I mean, you really are the queen of the creepy crawlies now.

Like, how did you continue to build that as a brand? How did you make that, like, a thing that you wanted to communicate? Like, there's a lot more than, like, going to Belize with a camera one time. Yeah, I think after just starting to research them and then you start working with scientists that are passionate about them, I got to experience maggot debridement therapy. It's where you have an open wound that's, like, festering and antibiotics aren't working. So they actually put maggots on it. And the maggots will eat and clean.

the wound and then the wound will just heal up and like it's no big deal. And then also leach. So leeches. Hold on, Mallory, hold on because my favorite part of like a lot of these podcasts is seeing Peter and Kyle and unfortunately not Patrick's face. We're going to pull up a screen share of what Maggot DeBryman is, which I've personally seen firsthand. It looks awful and it's fantastic. Yeah, it's so great. What you're seeing here, go to the green one, Kyle. Kyle's looking away. can't handle this. So what you're seeing here is a wound. Go down to the bottom right one under the green one. You're seeing a wound that is festering and rotting and gangrenous. And in order to cure that because if a, so if Kyle, just look up, look up, Kyle. If we're in order for a doctor to clear that

and clean that up, they have to go in and remove a whole lot of tissue because they don't know where the rot ends and the good tissue really begins other than a bit of poking around. Right. but maggots know exactly where the rot ends because they're only eating the rotting flesh. So what people do for this debridement therapy is they take sterile maggots that were raised in a lab and they put them on these wounds and these maggots will clean up all of the rotting flesh and then drop off because maggots don't eat live healthy flesh. They only eat rotting flesh. Wow. So they drop off right after. Yeah. They'll eat. I mean, you know, they'll clean the wound. I mean, I'm sure you have to brush a couple off. But the point is they clean up all this gang.

gangrenous festering dying flesh, which obviously continues to spread and grow and become gangreness if it's not treated. And you're left with a clean, healthy wound that you can then medically treat and recover. Dude, it's nature's neosporin. That's right. They just need, here's a task for you, Mallory. With it, maggots just need a rebrand. We just need to call them nature's neosporin instead of maggots. And I think you got to be more. Organic neosporne. Perfect. Yeah. Mallory, you were going to get on to the. leeches and all I know about leeches is from stand by me, the 80s movie, where there's a bunch of leeches down there at whitey tides when they go in the swamp. Well, Mallory's talking, pull up,

what would you call it? It's like leech blood draining or something like that. What would you call it? What's the name for it, Mallor? They're FDA medical leeches. The leeches are FDA medical devices now. Oh, wow. In micro surgery. Let's see what happens. Yeah, but you got to find one that's gross and gnarly, Kyle. That's not going to do it. Say, like, leeches on post-surgery. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh, so they use it for like post-surgery? Yep,

you'll see, we'll see. All right, tell us about it, Mallory, tell us about it. Yeah, is that great. Okay, so say you actually chop off your finger, a researcher's able to put together the muscle and the tissue and the skin, but what they can't do

is reestablish the capillaries, the super tiny things. And what happens is when tissue doesn't get blood, it dies. It turns black. It starts stinking. And so the leach is able to suck the blood through those broken capillaries and reestablish that connection again. So what you're seeing are like flaps to skin that are about to die and they put the leeches on them. That is one of the most fascinating things I've ever heard in my life.

Yeah. I thought that that was like a medieval like, like, host. hospital thing that they did. Very legit. Wow. So if dogs are a man's best friend, leeches are that super smart lab partner that everybody wants, but nobody wants to hang out

with after class. Like they have done so much for, they're the ones that found out how our neurons communicate. So their first neurotransmitters was because of studying a leech. So it's pretty amazing. I don't want Mallory to hear this, but I'm going to say it.

I hate leeches. Yeah. I swear to God, I've nearly become anemic. from leeches. Oh my God. We were hiking in Borneo one time. We filmed this but never made it to air. I should see if I can get the clip. We're hiking to Borneo in Borneo one time and everybody tucks their socks, their pants into their socks, right? Because it keeps leeches from going on you. Well, I'm on camera. I can't be the pants tucked into your socks guy. No pants in socks and no helmets. You've never seen Indiana Jones with his denims tucked into his knee highs, right? It's not a look. And so, you know, like a normal. person I've got my pants where pants should be. And, uh, and so we hike, we're hiking like, man, it's gnarly. We're doing like, it's me and Johnny and I think Romanov. I can't remember anymore. It might have been Mitch. No, it was me, Johnny and Mitch. We're hiking like five hours a day every day. Because it's like two and a half hours into the spot where we're seated and sitting

in this blind and then two and a half hours back. We did this every day for like five days. Wow. But on the first day, we did the first hike in, which is like, it's your like between knee deep water and like foot deep mud the whole time. time first hike in, didn't notice it for whatever reason, didn't check my ankles, first hike back. And so full day and I pull, go to like shower or whatever and I pull my, it's literally there is like 40 leeches per ankle like just lining around the top of my sock and going up the leg like all the way to the kneecap. You should have sold them to a hospital man. And then we had to pull each one off and they have an anticoagulant in their saliva. so you just bleed and bleed and bleed.

Wow. And I mean, I lost like a quarter gallon of blood. A quarter gallon? It didn't hurt. Yeah. It didn't hurt. Like, it doesn't hurt or anything. But, like, my legs just bled for hours.

It's kind of crazy that they can puncture you and then put that anticoagulant there, but yet you don't really feel it at all. Wow. So it's nature's, what would leeches be? If the maggots are nature's neosurricular. Borm, what would what would leeches be, Mallory?

Oh, that's tough. Why would you want to, like, bloodlet yourself? Nature's capillary welders. There you go. That's very clever. Very clever. How did you remove your leeches?

Because there's a wrong way and a right way. As quickly as I could and forcefully, so probably the wrong way. Definitely the wrong way if I know I know that, so correct. Actually, I want to hear this. Before I give wrong information, what's the right way? Right way would be anything that doesn't piss it off.

So once you piss a leash off, it's going to regurgitate all that blood, including probably like rat blood or whatever else it was gorging on before you, back into your blood system. So you want to use credit card or your fingernail and you want to pop it off. But if you, like, try to set it on fire or pinch and pull, that thing's going to like regurgitate all that blood back. into its host. It literally just goes scorched earth to try and fill you with AIDS and black play.

Yeah. So I actually think if I'm not mistaken, we did take, I think I took my knife, which is usually dull as shit and like scraped them all off, which probably went 50-50. Probably like probably got some real pissed off and also got some by surprise. But yeah, it was wild. And that's not the first time and it's not the last time. and it's just they suck, man, literally and figuratively. Leach just suck.

But yeah, so anyway, so yeah, Mallory's doing all this stuff. She's communicating all these awesome things. And she's not like, this is what I love. Would I go on Instagram? If I go on Instagram right now, and granted, this is my demographic. And I open up my feed, I'm going to get 15 hot girls swimming with sharks. That's what I get. That's what's on my Instagram, right?

Because I'm friends with all these girls. They're friends of mine. They're people I know. And then you have Mallory. who's sitting here looking wholesome, holding the nastiest, yuckiest thing you can imagine, man. She's got a hagfish or she's got a maggot in her hand or whatever. And like just being normal, you know, and just being like, check this out. And it's just so cool because it's like it's not just another cute girl with a nice butt

and a bikini next to a shark. You know, it's like that's played out. It's done. It's boring. Here's Mallory looking like a normal person holding this super gross thing and people are tuning in to check it out. And I just, I don't know. I think it's so much cooler than what every other.

other sort of animal influencer is doing. Yeah, it sounds like it's a bit more kind of, uh, genuine and less like set up stage kind of thing. You just go out there and you, you know, it's more relatable. It's, it sounds like, you know, you're, to kids, you're bringing these. Tell, tell me, uh, if you don't mind more about this. He, he said that you're working with, uh, like, underprivileged children and you're, what do you? Yeah, we never even finish that, did we? Yeah. Tell me a little bit about that. You take them, like, like on adventures or are you still doing that now? We're starting to in Tennessee.

We're trying to bring, I work with big brother, big sister programs. So we're trying to bring them and take them hiking and camping and just allowing people to experience something that they may not have been able to before. You know,

a lot of families are kind of hard up on luck and may not have the resources or the time or the availability to take their kids out. Or a lot of parents are just intimidated to the outdoors themselves. So it's pretty neat to provide. And I love that because, and I'm a victim of this too, as I get older. You know, I'd never make the time anymore to go out and connect with nature, not enough anyways, you know.

And I'm having a kid here soon. And I'm actually really looking forward to when he's old enough for me to take him out and show him all this shit that I used to love. I still love it. I just don't make time for it. Like camping. the hiking, you know, mountain biking out in these different terrains and stuff. And, you know, it's something, I think the world would be a better place with what you're doing. If more people got out there and remember to kind of connect with nature.

I know I always feel better when I do. And I couldn't imagine having grown up where I just never did that. I was outside all the time in the woods playing by myself, like, you know, and you kind of, if you, you kind of lose that as you get older. and it would suck to never have had that. So that's pretty, pretty cool. And you said it perfectly. You know, so many people now are at screen time. So their nature is on the screen.

So if that nature is shock value, then that's all they're going to know. That fucking coyote Peterson. Well, I was going to say, I'm not helping that. I'm making the screen time. But no, it's shock value. But you get kids interested. That's good.

Yeah. It's true. And I'm not very big into shock value. You could have stopped after big. Oh, ho. You're a small guy. It's all I'm saying. Very meager.

Also insulting. So because Patrick isn't here, the guy who's now basically the same height as you is the meager guy? I shrunk. That's not my fault. That's a disability evidently that I have. Not only do I not get out enough. I shrink as I get older. Yeah, too much hunch into that computer.

It's so true. So Mallory, what else is on deck with you? I'm going to come up with a BR here in a minute. I think. I think we have to come up. Yeah, we do. I'll explain that to you in a minute. But what else is the debt for you at the moment, Mallory? Where can people find you? What else is going on in your world? Give us a little insight. So we got the podcast. We got, I'm now at IUCN Save Our Species storyteller. So if anybody is interested in any conservation work that's being done where they take care of the community, the habitat, and the animal that they're trying to highlight. And so it's some pretty cool stories about that. I'm in citizen science.

So if anybody wants me, I might want to be involved in science and stuff like that. Then on the website there's a bunch of opportunities going and working with sea turtles, everything from, I know probably my your bro masters don't really want to go play with butterflies, but they definitely need help right now. You would be surprised. Right now, I think the Western monarch population has decreased 99% of its historic population. Well, wasn't there a big boom over the pandemic? There was. There was one little shift like a few years ago where the mark spiked. Yeah.

But it didn't actually like sustain and help. No, it's like, you know, it's like watching the stock market. It's like it's going down. Right. You have these little spikes. That's unfortunate. They're beautiful. I love that you knew that though. God. Yeah. He knows a lot these days. But yeah, no, keep going, Mallory. Keep going. I would say that's about it. I really need some help finding someone who knows where I can find wild hagfish. So if any of your Roosters Yeah

Coyote Coyote knows he did a thing With hagfish didn't he Didn't he put his hand in a Hagfish stick? I think he was lampreys Oh That sounds that will suck your blood

I didn't know that shoot Thread shit That's fans We by the way We fish them in Santa Bar By we I don't mean me I have zero interest In these disgusting animals

Somebody in the world No there is a commercial fishery for What we call slime eels It's a hagfish in Santa Bar Where they put traps down at like 400 feet and pull up these buckets of them. And then they ship them off to, I think Japan, maybe China for toothpaste because they use the slime that the hagfish having it to make toothpaste.

What? Yeah. You're brushing your teeth with eel slime, bro. I don't brush my teeth. I just use mouthwash. All right. So here's what we're going to do. Mallory, you've listened to the pod.

You know that we do this thing called the Battle Royale. But just to explain it, we're, well, first let me set it up. So what we're going to do is all three of us are going to create the most disgusting, off-putting, creepy crawly that we can using three features. It can be whatever you like, head, body, legs, superpower, whatever you want, because insects and creepy crawlies are so diverse. And we're going to create the perfect, gross, yucky critter that Mallory is going to communicate to the world that they're wonderful.

And she doesn't have to do that on the pod. But that's why we're doing this Battle Royale. Sure. So we're going to go Snake Draft. I'll go first. So it means it'll go me and then Peter and then you, Mallory, you'll pick again. We're going to leave Kyle out? Kyle's out.

Kyle's out. Kyle's out. Kyle's got to pull up pictures of these things. All right. I just feel like he's got a lot to do. He does. He's working hard over there. He's so many things.

So, yeah, so we'll do Snake Draft. This is the creepy crawley battle royale. Okay. All right. All right. I'm up first. you know what i'm gonna and by the way you cannot pick one twice right okay well why did you what so if i say spider you can't be a spider right of course that's the point of a snake draft

yeah but i'm just explaining to mallory no come on all right so i think that one of the things that people just kind of stand the thought of is it your shirt being lifted up there and showing your belly rude sorry um sorry i wear fitted shirts peter um um I think that one of the things that people can't stand when it comes to creepy crawlies is all the legs. So I'm going to take the legs of a millipede. So just imagine all these little undulating legs going over you with my animals. So it's my first pick. I better write these down.

Legs of a millipede for forest. Okay. Mallory, you want to go? No, you go next to. I go next. Okay, we'll go in a circle. Forests all mine. Yeah.

It's a good one. I am going to go with the, you're right about the legs. Do you screen share on these, pal? Let's see them as we go. But I'm going to go. All right, so I'm going to go head first. And listen, it's pretty square, but it's notoriously creepy. People hate them.

I'm going with the face and head of a rat. Beattie little eyes, gross, rat. They bite you. They really can lay a nice bite. on you and give spread disease. It's gross. Look at those BDIs, man. Oh, yuck.

Yep. Head of a rat. Head of a rat. I mean, those are adorable rats, to be honest. I'm talking a street rat, motherfucker. Seward rat. Yeah.

Yeah, head of a sewer rat. Okay, good. All right, Mallor, you're up for two because we're going snake draft. So you pick head, body, legs, abilities, whatever you like. Two really gross things for your batter royale. Okay, I'll do the head of a lamprey.

Wow. Give us a why. Give us a why. They're the first things I had nightmares about. Understandable. It looks like an alien from a horror movie. Doesn't it? Yes.

Okay. I'll do that. And then the tongue of the parasitic rass is a tongue-eating rat. Oh, God. Tongue eating rats. R-R-A-S.

It's a fish. O R-R-A-S-S. Even worse. Wait, sorry. Wait, we said head of a lamprey and what of a Rass? The tongue. The tongue. Okay, type in the tongue, please.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that thing. Yeah, what is it called? It's not an isopod. The big tongue-eating isopod. Yeah. Yes. Okay, head of a lamprey, tongue of an isopod.

Yeah, there's a big head and then the rash, and then do I do the feet too? We'll come back to you. So we're going snake drive. So I'll go back to Peter. And at this point, you got like the head and tongues. You're going to have to pick like a body for the whole thing to live on. Okay. That's nice.

All right, Peter, you're up. Okay. So I have the disgusting beady-eyed street rat as a head. And as the body, I'm going to go with a giant squid. Okay, right? You're going big, big gross animal. Yeah, it's, oh, of course. I mean, dude, you just imagine, because, so the other thing is, the, the rest of the parts,

they size to the body. So however big your body is, your head and your tongue is going to be that big to match it ratio-wise. So I'm going to have this giant squid tentacles, disgusting fucking tentacles hanging out. And I just learned the other day that they have a, they have a, you. beak, Forrest taught me this, inside of their tentacles and then their main beak on the head, but the tentacles have little beaks that latch into you like mouths on a bird beak. So that's disgusting.

And then it's going to have a street rat's beady-eyed head on it. Very nice. Okay. So I'm up for two. You up for two. Okay. So I got the legs of amelopeed. Okay.

I'm going to put this gross, these gross set of legs on the body of the body of a slime meal. We've talked about them a lot. I'm going to go hagfish here. Body of a hagfish. And the reason being, I want that sliming ability. Because imagine that thing. It's already got the head of a legs of a millipede on it. Now it

crawls on you and just drops this goop all over. Look at the car picture we're talking about. It's a good, oh yeah, that car, fucking bananas. You ever seen this, Mallory? This is an picture? It's insane. I would love to just go swimming in that. Oh, you are a wild lady.

Um, all right. Go viral. That would go viral. Which you'd be real stuck to the pavement. So, finally, to round out my most disgusting creature, on the body of a hagfish with the legs of a milipede, I have the face of a blobfish. Oh, man. A dead blobfish. The famous, but, well, the blobfish.

That one. Yes. That one. That's on the face right there. One minute. I'll be right back. Were you? Oh my.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Peter. It's his turn. So, of course, he has to go get something. He's running to go. Google right now. He's like, God damn it, gross animals, gross animals. He's Googling right now. That's a pretty gross thing. That's good because I need more time to think.

That's fine. Yeah, Peter. Now I have to stall for Peter. We got dead air. I just got to do plug. Yeah, do a plug for the stuff. Since we're talking about it, this is. I just got to do a plug since we're talking about it. This is our shirt right here with my spirit animal, the infamous blob fish right here. That's Peter's spirit animal. Yep. Peter Spirit Animal. So go to that, go to, I think it's like shop.wethtimes.com or wildtimespodcast.com and check it out. Yep. Good blood. Get yourself a blobfish spirit animal shirt. We haven't talked about that in a while. I know. That's nice. All right. I've got a pretty gross critter, Peter. How are you going to round out your body squid?

Easy. Body of a giant squid head of a rat. Listen, you made a great point. Things getting slime. That's disgusting. It is. I want to, I want to, I want to. I want to. want to tantalize a different sense. I'm going to have the body, including the gland that releases the scent. You already have the body. Of this. What do I? No, I have the tentacles. Oh, just tentacles. Gotcha. Yeah. And I'm going to have the body of a skunk with the ability to spray disgusting skunk sense. So it's going to be this slimy creature. I like how you didn't use a single creepy crawley in our creepy crawley battle royals. I don't, I speak English. I don't know what a creepy crawl was. You do. You do. It's slimy. I'll take it.

All right. Thank you. Thank you, Mallory. Very good. Very good. Okay. All right, Mallory, round us out. You got the head of a lamprey with an isopod tongue in the middle. That's revolting. You probably don't even need to do it. Third thing. What are you putting this on? What are we looking at? Is this a tarantula? Like, what are we looking at here? I think tranchola. Something super hairy that can climb on wall. I didn't mean to steal your thing. Come on. I didn't know. I didn't know she said tarantula. That or a maggot. But I think tranchol's have better. abilities than a maggot. Nice. Definitely.

Look at that. That thing, imagine that, to be honest, that with a lamprey head, and then it just sticks out its critter tongue, like it's little like,

eh, yeah, yeah. Dude, I know I've been talking about this on podcast recently, but I just watched Jackass Forever the new Jackass.

They put, they get this, one of the guys who's on there, they get his dad, who's like an ex-gangster convict to come on. and then with one of the original guys, they put this big glass enclosure on their heads

with fabric here so that you can't get out. And then there's a big tube in the middle. And the other guy has the same helmet on and they drop a fucking tarantula in there and they're just blowing back and forth. Oh, trying to blow the tarantula. The dude, the gangster dude is fucking terrified. I'm sure.

He's not like a jackass guy. And he's like, they got them tied down and shit. It is the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life. Very, very good animal ethics in that film, by the way. I'm being sarcastic. They definitely made sure to include bits of them saying, don't harm the animal, don't hurt the animal, like screaming it, for real. All right, well, let's recap here.

Dave Sunshine, he's our graphic artist for the podcast. He's going to have a blast with this one. So, Broster's Way in, let us know who made the grossest creepy crawley. is it Forest's body of a hagfish with the legs of a millipede and the head of a blobfish? Is it Peter's non-creepy crawly creepy crawley with the

skunk's body, the tentacles of a giant squid and the head of a rat? Yes. It is? It is. Of course it. Or, I think I already know the winner, to be honest. I don't even think we came close. Is it Mallory's tarantula that has the head of a lamprey

with an isopod tongue sticking out? That's nice. That is so gross. Brozners, way in, let us know. I'd make out with that animal. Yeah. I bet it's great at kissing. You'd make out with it?

It's a great kisser. I can tell already. First of all, it would rip your tongue off, and then it would replace your tongue with a bug. So just think about that. It's always what I've wanted. Mallory, let our listeners know where they can find you. What's your space?

Miss Mallory Adventures.com. And Instagram, where I'm at mainly, is Miss. M.S. period. Mallory Adventures. Nice. Love that. Love it. She's on IG. She's all over the place.

She's got YouTube. She got a podcast. It's great. Peter, do the thing. Yeah, to find our bullshit. Wild Times Pod on all social media's, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter. Hit up the website, thewildetimespodcast.com forward slash info for all of the links in one beautiful spot. And, you know, check out the shop. Check out this. Blufffish merch.

We got this shit. We never talk about it. Dude, once Dave mocks up Mallory's critter, probably going to have to make another shirt, because that's, like, really gross. Dude, I'm all about it. We should put all the fucking Battle Roy animals on the merch shop. That is going to be a very large shop.

Hey, fuck it. Why not? Yeah, I like that. More money to add to our zero... Mallory, thank you so much for joining us. It's been great. You're a wonderful guest. Thank you for continuing to break. down the stigma, you know, while also making really gross things and critters on our battle royale. And, uh, Broessners, good night. Good night. Good night. Good night, Mallory.

Good night, guys. It's like a gross. We're pretending that the music's playing. I know. Yeah, no, I know. Oh, yeah, we're talking.