Wild Times: Wildlife Education - TWT #99 - Old School Wild Times is Back!

Episode Date: August 9, 2022

Forrest, Patrick & Peter are back with an old-school Wild Times episode! We’re bringing back all the old segments you know and love with all new exciting stories and fantastic animals!

Yeah. It's hot out. You're sweating for us. Got a glisten on the forehead. Here we go. It is the Wild Times episode number... 99, mate. 99.

Whatever. What away, baby. Oh, wow. That's a lot. That's too many, I would argue. It's one too many. We should have quit at 98. We should have.

Based on earlier. We should have. All right, this is the Wild Times podcast, the greatest podcast on the air, where three people hang out and talk about wildlife. I am your host, the broologist Forrest Galante, joining me tonight, The Spiceman himself, the producer, Pistor Patrick DeLuca. How you doing, Pat? Really, really well.

I'm excited. Look, the YouTube's been doing great. We'll talk about that later. We did get a couple comments that hit us right in the gut. And I'm excited because we put a lot of prep into this episode. That's right. We have multiple segments in games. I'm just excited for this podcast.

That's right. Yeah, baby. And not grim, very happy over there. My best friends. Mr. Peter Fitzer, Ph.D. in podcasting, the professor. What's up, Peter? What's up, Jens? I'm sorry for my freak out before the pod.

It's been a rough week. And, you know, new baby, stressed out, no sleep. Finally having a booze. Feel good. what are you guys drinking? I got a nice tell. By the way, Peter, I knew that's why you were upset. I just didn't want to feel the brunt of it, just so you're aware.

I know that I've had a baby. I know what it's like. I flew off the handle. I shouldn't have. I know. I know. I cared very little. Can I say one thing?

When you are at the stage that Peter's at, your wife is kind of always mad at you because you can't breastfeed. So she's just inherently mad at you for not having it. breast. So there's no one saying thank you for anything you're doing while you're completely sleepless and you feel like the whole world's against you for like three months. And then your bro makes an offhanded comment and you fucking lose it. It just happens. You know, and it's all good. We're all in fault. We're all in the bridge. But I do want quick story about these, dude. These are five. It's from Trader Joe's Seltzer. They just started selling it. It's regularly

15 bucks. It's $5 for like a $1.4. A 12 pack. Oh, wow. A 12 pack. And I was just like flabbergasted. I was like, this can't be right. So go out, get yourself one of these, pop it open, and enjoy the pod with us. Brought to you by Trader Joe's.

That's Traderjo's.com. They can be found everywhere that people go shopping. And this is our first ad read that we don't get paid for. No, very good. I'm having a nice whiskey. I'm actually on my second of the day because today has been a long day, which also probably led to my battery. Peter and I'm arguing earlier, which is all nothing.

But this is cool. So we got a couple things going on. So first of all, welcome, because we have 20-something thousand new subscribers to the YouTube channel. So if you're watching this on video, don't think that the coordinated tank tops were a coincidence because they weren't. Welcome to the show.

You all have tickets to the gun show. That's why you're here. Absolutely. Yeah, that's nice. Look at that. That's lovely. And we're here. We are doing episode number 99, and we got some other feedback that was like, hey, we miss the games.

We missed the fun. We missed the segments. Nobody said we missed the fun because it's always fun. But we said we missed the segments in the games. So we actually did something we haven't done in like 25, 30 episodes, which is pre-produced an episode, put the games back in, put the segments back. And we're back. We're going to try it out, see if people enjoy having the segments back. So before we get into that, what's going on?

Peter, tell us about baby life. Nah, I mean, I talk too much about it. It's just the whole sleep thing is really knocking me out of line. Like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm getting up at, I got up at 8 p.m. the other day, dude. I'm just like, this is awful. I'm going to kill myself. And also just, I haven't been drinking. And I honestly feel that I need to drink once a week or else, like, I literally, like, I start to go insane.

And I've been forgetting about it. So here we are. It's the middle of the afternoon, early afternoon, and I'm having a cocktail. So doing good, doing well. All right. Yeah. Setting yourself up for a terrible night, by the way. The afternoon cocktails.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You know a disaster at 10 o'clock. Did you know that a very common animal that we have in California will sometimes go months without sleep? What? No. I hate them.

Who is it? Yeah. So the bullfrog, which is an invasive species, but we won't get into that. the large American bullfrog can go for up to months at a time without sleep. So they'll actually close their eyes and they'll rest and they'll remain in a state of like almost torpo where they're sort of shut down,

but they're alert the entire time. So I don't know if you've ever walked by a pond, you know, at night or at dusk or whatever and you see the frog just instantly, and like jump into the pond. That animal is... Thank you, Kyle. Yeah, thanks, Kyle.

That bullfrog is resting but not sleeping because they're so on edge the entire time they won't sleep. And then the only time they do sleep is when they actually go into active hibernation, which is pretty interesting. Have you heard... Oh, sorry, go ahead. Well, I was going to say, Forrest, have you heard of the Boreal Chorus Frog? Yeah, I have.

So they do something even more insane in the winter, right? They freeze. They completely freeze. They get encased in blocks of ice. They shut their heart and their lungs down completely. their heart stops beating. Yep. Yeah.

And they just completely freeze solid. They have basically a built-in anti-freeze in their blood that keeps the cells from bursting when they freeze. Exactly. And they're nuts. They're dead, essentially. And then spring comes and thaws out, and they're just like, I'm up now.

Straction out and start mating. Yeah, that's not amazing. For the next battle royale, I need to use that as a superpower. It's a good power. Anti-freeze blood. Total. This is interesting. I found a chart here species.

Average total sleep time in percentage of a 24-hour period. So how much? I'm just going to go top and bottom here. House cat. My house cat is the one that sleeps the most. Lemley. I was trying to think they don't give us a good bottom. So average total sleep time and percentage of a 24-hour period,

how much would you think a brown bat sleeps out of a 24-hour period? You could say an hours or percentage. It doesn't matter. Let's do it in hours. In a 24-hour period, how many hours do you think the brown bat sleeps in a day? Okay. I'd say 16. I'd say, well, shit, I was just going to say, I'm going to say 10.

20, 19.9 hours of a day, the brown bat sleeps. I mean, it is in a cave, so it's like it's dark in there. I have a hard time getting up with blackout shades in the room. That's how I had to up until 8 p.m. the other day. Is this hurting you to hear that? this, Peter, you're like, there's an animal that's sleeping 20 hours a day, and I'm, like, on the complete polar opposite schedule of that. No, I love all animals.

I could never hate a bat. I feel like Tony Robbins needs to go into a cave and give them a pep talk. You're wasting your life. Well, what about you, Patrick? What's going on in your hood these days? It's hot. Is it hot in L.A. like it is in Santa Barbara? Yeah, it's hot as shit.

It's gross. Hot as shit. No, I mean, dude, it's the same. name old. I mean, we've had a real, I mean, there's a big, big, big time coyote situation in the neighborhood. Lots of coyote chatter constantly. Every time I see the neighbors, they're telling coyote stories. I think they're moving in big time. Yeah. Wow. Is there, is there a next door thread about it? Are you on next door? You strike me as a, as a good next door. No, I had to get off next door. It was too much, man. Constantly, because we just hear fireworks all the time and everyone thinks it's a fucking gunshot.

It's like, guys, it's a firework that someone set off. You're like, I can see it in the sky there's literally colors in the sky above your house exactly it's such an LA thing too because I had that exact same feeling when I was living in recita dude we were like gunshot dogs insane for the next three hours anxiety and I would just get so furious well you know it's a long day living in recita what is that a lyric from Tom Petty free fall that's right yeah yeah dude we had we had we had uh on the Facebook page for our little community here There's coyotes around here too. And somebody just posted a picture of like a blob where a cat was, just with all the fur and just the carcass basically.

And was like, watch out. There's coyotes fucking killing cats in the neighborhood. And I'm like, I'm glad I have an indoor cat. They do do that. They do do that. Well, let's kick things off with the bang here, fellas. I've got something prepared. I say we get right into it.

Oh, wow. Do we have a jingle for Pat's math? Yes, we do. Kyle, play the jingle. There it is. Yeah, that's a good one. I'm pretty good with numbers. All right.

I've got a fun segment of Pat's Math for you guys. For those of you who don't know what it is, I take wild, crazy statistics from the animal kingdom. I extrapolate them out in weird ways. I quiz these guys and whoever gets the most right wins. So I have three, three little. math things for you here. I have a feeling that Peter's definitely not going to understand one of them.

As I was writing it, I was like, he's going to get mad at me for this one. No. Because it's very complicated. I'm very calm today. Okay, good. All right. Peter, you're going to go first on this one. Okay. The paratarsatomas macropelpus.

Okay. Pull that up, Kyle. The perotarcitonis macropelis. Forrest, you know what that is, right? Of course. Okay, good. For those of you don't know, it's a sesame seed-sized mite that lives in Southern California. It lives in pavement and rocks. I don't know how it does that or why. If you had given me 10,000 guesses, I wouldn't have got that, by the way. Yeah. It's a sesame seed-sized mite, okay? It lives in pavement and rocks in Southern California. It is actually the fastest animal in the entire animal kingdom in relation to its body size.

Okay. So it can travel in a single second, 322 body lengths in one second. Okay. Wow. So you two, Peter and Forrest, you're both six feet tall. Yep. If you ran as fast as this might, how long would it take for you to run from New York to Los Angeles? Oh, boy, I thought you were going to say in a minute. Can I use a calculator?

No calculators. This is the SATs. New York to Los Angeles is, what, 5,000 miles? Is it more than that? I'm not giving you that info, but you're not even close. But Peter goes first. Peter goes first. All right, real quick, say it again.

Not the whole thing, just the, I'm six feet. Not the mite's name. Yeah, I'm six feet. The mite runs 322 body lengths in a second. Right, right. 322. Okay. 322.

Jesus Christ, how many feet are in a mile? Like, fine. Yeah, we don't want to watch you do math. Just guess. All right. So you want to know. want to know how fast? How long would it take you to get from New York to L.A.?

It would take me. Shit, dude. I'm saying it would take me 30 minutes. I'm just going to 30 minutes. I have no idea. Okay. Forrest, how long for you to run if you ran as fast as this might? From New York to L.A.?

Three hours, six minutes, and 22 seconds. I will say this, guys. He has a spreadsheet that already does this calculation. Yeah. Both actually pretty good guesses. You're both in the realm. Technically, forest wins because we're not doing prices right rules. The answer is two hours, just over two hours. You would be running. If you ran as fast as this might, if humans had the power of this animal, you'd be able to run at 1,317 miles an hour. Oh, my God. That'd be great. Can you imagine? Take that superpower. That's another one for the best. Battle Royal File effects. Yeah, but you got to remember the Mites name when you pull it up. I'm just going to be like that might that runs really fast.

That's amazing. Could you imagine if you could move it a thousand miles per hour? Like the fact that we even have superheroes is dumb. Like animals are already superheroes. It's stupid. By the way, sidebar, I just saw a thing today. Was it Vice to put it out? No, ABC?

I don't know. One of the news sources released that the, the love and passion for superhero movies is plummeting. Like, they're going way out of fashion. It's, like, bad for Marvel. Marvel and Disney are scared because they have this whole, like, Marvel Phase 4 thing unrolling. When you beat the shit out of a concept for a decade,

literally every big blockbuster movie is a superhero movie, people are going to get tired of it. They got to come up for something new. So let me ask you this then. Let me ask you this. What's next? I know the answer. But let me ask you.

Insects take over. the world somehow. No, but I mean, we've all been there. Remember when like Texas chainsaw Masca, Hills Have Eyes? Like that was the thing. Remember that? Saw. That was like a generation. And then those all were limited box office success compared to Marvel though. Those movies never made a

billion dollars. Not even close. Undeniably, but that was the trend for a while. Wouldn't you say? That was like the movie trend was like the cut them up movies. Horror films are very out. You used to get five or six a year in theaters. You maybe get one maybe nobody can deal with that shit anymore dude on the big screen just watching somebody

it's too real now it's like oh yeah this is actually happening this hurts this is what i feel like inside every day now i'm gonna say this kids i'm gonna say this what's next is the avatar movies like the fantasy world and i mean those have been big for a little while but like the fantasy world all like alternative pandora type i think that's next that's a good call super heroes for a bit and it's going to be these fantastic worlds for a while. By the way, I'm into that. Have you guys seen the trailer for Beast? The Beast

that's coming out? Oh shit. It's about this it's a man-eating lion that's like hunting a family. I can't be guys you haven't seen this. There's been commercials on. Yeah, I have seen it and it's X-Men guy. No, it's the really like handsome

black British dude. What's his name? Idris Elba. Idris Elba. Yeah. Yeah, I just, thank you, Kyle. Idris Elba as the star. And he's like, but he's like not African. He's like taking his family to Africa on safari, right? Yeah, I did see that.

I remember the CG lions were a little bit eye-roly. Is that supposed to be like a Cape Lion? Is this, did they steal the idea for Lion Man? If they, oh my God. Have we ever talked about Lion Man on the pod? A couple times. We have news three to four times. Okay, it's an important concept.

Go back to episode one and listen to the Lion Man story. All right, so Forest is up one zero. Here's our next amazing animal. Oh, shoot. Sorry, I didn't realize there were more. I didn't mean to dog. Amorphized into human superpowers. Peter's favorite animal, he chooses it often in the Battle Royale.

Herpes. Second favorite, sorry. The Peregrine Falcon has the fastest recorded dive speed of any bird, right? One was recorded diving for prey at 236 miles per hour. 236. Okay. This is a complicated one, Peter's going to get mad, but I need you to listen up. I'm not going to get mad. You got to do some real math here. All right. So it could dive at 236 miles an hour. The Peregrine Falcon soaring altitude,

typically it will soar at around 35. Oh, come on. What the? It will soar at 3,500 feet in elevation. 3500, 236. So let's just say you're flying on your friend's plane. One of your buddies picks you up in his crop duster that he doesn't know how to fly and you fall out because you didn't buckle up. One time and I never get to let that damn. You fall out of a plane, right? You're flying, let's say at 12,000 feet, you fall. At 3,500 feet, you pass this Peregrine Falcon who's soaring, looking for a little

titmouse to eat and you pass him. And he's like, oh, shit, what should I do? And he thinks about it for five seconds. And then he decides to go down and save you. Okay. At what elevation would you be when he catches you? Wait, real quick again, there's a lot of numbers here. What's the 326 number?

236 miles per hour. Is the speed of the Peregrine falcons dive? You're falling at terminal velocity for a human body. Which, of course, I know off the top of my head, yeah? Yep. And you fall past him, and then he waits for five seconds. Okay. Do you make it to the ground or what elevation are you at?

No. When you pass him. You're at 7.9666 inches. Okay, so eight inches off the ground he catches. Wow. Okay. It just really saves your life. Forest, what would you say?

He catches you at 135 foot. Okay. Forrest wins again. Even though neither of you were close. The correct answer is you would be at 1,750 feet of elevation by the time he caught you if he gave you a five second head start. That's because it would take him only 10 seconds to catch you. After deciding.

Because the Peregrine Falcon's dive speed, max, is exactly double the terminal velocity of a falling human body. That's crazy. How crazy? That is kind of crazy, right? Yeah, that's nuts. You don't wonder like how. Think about it.

Because a Paragon Falcon, Kyle, look this up. What's a Paragon Falcon weigh? Four pounds? I'm going to say four pounds. is my guess. So you would think terminal velocity of a 200-pound person, no matter what the shape of a four-pound, hollow-bones, birds have hollow bones, animal covered in feathers is, there's no way that they could do that. And yet they do. It's double. Two to three pounds. They're not even four pounds. They're two to three pounds. Well, think about this. If you're going

121 miles per hour in a car, you're moving faster than you would fall if you fell from space, right? Because once you hit 120 miles an hour, you're not going. So when you're in an airplane cruising, you're going five times as fast as you would be going if you fell out of the plane. So let me ask you this. I've always wondered this. When you would tie it back to movies for a second, and then if you have more Pat's math, I won't. I won't. Yeah. To break the tie. We're going to get Peter the last one. If you're free falling. We did prices right rules. for the first one. In every action movie, every one where Tom Cruise is saving somebody, somebody's free falling,

the parachute isn't deployed, and the one guy goes like nose down. Do you know what I mean? Now, how does that work? Because obviously the wind drag from when you're flat is slowing you down. Is terminal velocity when you're like penciled and your pencil diving? No. So terminal velocity is just a falling body. You just felt you're not tucked in and going straight down.

So if someone who knows how to do it, tucks and goes straight down, they can actually go up to 180 miles an hour. So significantly faster than- significantly faster. So it is realistic that, you know, the one parachuter passes out, the other guy could catch him. God, if you knew how to do it. I've seen that. Literally, there's like GoPro footage that on YouTube. Yeah.

There was one quite recently. Did you see that one like yesterday of the guy that got his parachute wrapped up? Yes. Yes. Yes. On the, on like the pole thing? Yes. Yes, exactly. Dude, nuts. Nuts. Terrify. And he's talking the whole time. He's like, oh, this isn't good. This isn't good. And you're like, yeah, no shit, dude. He's base jumping off of a fucking, like, uh, radio tower. Those big, huge tower things are like a...

And the other guy catches him and saves him? No, no. No, he saved himself. That's ridiculous. Oh. Okay. That's what you're saying. Yeah, that was way, way above my intelligence level, Pat. Let's dumb it down for all retemps. This one's dumbed down significantly. All right. So the sailfish has the record for fastest recorded swimming speed of any fish in the ocean. Okay? Sailfish.

Sailfish. It goes real fast. Okay. Goes about 60 miles an hour? 68 miles an hour at max speed. Like what I do on the highway. I'm wrong. What did you think?

I thought Wahoo were faster, but I'm wrong. So if a sailfish, let's just say it could go full speed indefinitely, right? and a kayaker who has the world record for fastest speed in a kayak was racing a sailfish around the equator. Oh, damn it. How obviously the sailfish is going to be faster. We know the world record kayaker is not going 68 miles an hour. He's going like 12. Okay.

So here's the question. How much would the sail, how much time would the sailfish, sailfish, Sailfish. Sal fish. Selfish. Beat the kayaker in a race around the world on the equator. 68. I'm going to say 68 versus 12.

I have no idea what the circumference of the planet is. I'm going to say it's double. I'm going to go double the speed. I'm just going to guess here. I'm going to say he would beat him by two days. Two days. Two days around the world? What do you think, Peter?

I just want to interject here. Kyle in the background was trying to help us out and said, according to Guinness, the fastest speed achieved by someone in a kayak is just over 39 miles per hour. And I was like, oh, good. That'll help me calculate it. And immediately, Pat goes, that was in rushing water. As if he had already researched. Of course I did, because I first saw that speed and then realized that the guy was going down rapids. So I was like, well, that's bullshit. It's a race in the ocean. All right. I'm going to go, I'll go, I'll go, this isn't going to be fun either. I'm going to go 1.99 days since we're doing Bob Barker rules. Unfortunately, Forest has won with a clean sweep. The sailfish would complete a trip

around the equator in 367 hours or 15 days. Wow. At the max speed, the fastest kayaker in open water goes 13 miles an hour. It would take that. 80 days, so the sailfish would win by 64.8 days. Oh, man. And I said two days. Has it said 1.99. Has anybody, has a kayaker ever done that? God, no.

Have you ever been in a kayak? It's miserable. Anybody that loves kayaking, it's miserable. It's a miserable sport. I own two kayaks, by the way. I'm familiar with kayaking. It's a miserable thing to do. I got a buddy.

I got a buddy who listens to the show. since the beginning, he's one of my best friends, huge into kayaking. He's going to hate you. Well, he's wrong. He literally like, will text me, he's like, if you want to get a good workout, man, just hop in the kayak.

And in my head, I'm like, well, that's a little bit more than me going to the gym. He's validating my point, by the way. That's validation. This is a good workout, yeah. It's a good workout and a terrible means to get places. It's incredibly slow. The sickest, I'll tell, I'll tell you.

Oh, and you do get seasick if you're in child. Happy Water, big time. Oh, can I tell a story here? Can I get a story? Hold on. I got to get a prop for this story. Stand by YouTube. I'll just say.

He's wearing his wild time swag. Hey, for all the new YouTube peeps that are enjoying the channel, we have tons of cool T-shirts and tank tops and shit if you want to. We do. Want to peep it. Okay. Wildtimespodcast.com. Several years ago.

Pardon me. Pardon me. Several years ago, California shut down the red abalone fishery. It's not due to overfishing. was due to a wasting disease that strongly affected red avaloni. Before that, we used to be able to hunt red abalone. It's not much of a hunting snails, but the trick was it's sort of like mushroom hunting. It's like Easter egg hunting in the ocean.

And you're looking for a trophy abalone. Okay. And a trophy avaloni is anything over a 10 with an 11 being like a one in 100,000 and a 12 being a one and a million. Wait, what are these numbers? Is this how many? Oh, inches. Okay. inches of the abalone from one end to the other. And I had, you know, this is, this only takes place

north of the Golden Gate, so way in Northern California. And I had a couple tens to my name. I never got a bigger one. And so I met up with my two buddies, the same guys I go mushroom hunting with. And I was like, let's go for trophy avaloni. Okay. Now, the thing about trophy abalone hunting is the way to get a trophy abalone is you have to find an area that has all the right conditions that nobody else can get to, okay, because it's too rough, it's too brutal, it's too false, it's too or whatever it is. Like mushroom hunting kind of, right? Just like mushroom hunting.

It's the same fucking thing. Well, it's like everything that you do. Looking for extinct animals, got to go to the dense part of the jungle if no one's been to. You got it. Come on, Neil, in your moon boots. Yeah.

Side joke. And so anyway, so we go to Fort Bragg. I don't know if anybody listening or you guys have ever been to Fort Bragg. Beautiful area in Northern California. Stormy, cold. It looks like the Oregon Coast, right? You got the big rock spires

and the redwoods that come right up to the ocean it's it's gnarly and we go to fort brag and my buddy's brine carter they're like all right let's get these kayaks we're going to do this kayak run okay and we're going to leave from the harbor and we're going to run further than almost any motorboat will go and that's where we'll do our abalone diving the certain rock and a certain cave blah blah blah blah and i'm like great let's do it so we get in this kayak and it's about a four-hour kayak each way to go to this abalone spot okay we get in and it's it's a very nice day in fort brag meaning it's six foot swells at like a 12 second period, which is just a shit ton of energy, six feet of water moving through every 12 seconds.

And we get in these kayaks, and they both have their own kayaks, okay? They both have nice, like Malibu 2's, the long, very stable kayaks. I go to the kayak shop, and this was long before I knew a thing about kayaks. And I tell the guy, I'm like, hey, listen, we're going to do a long kayak. And he's like, oh, well, you want a fast kayak, right? You want a small, fast kayak. And I'm like, great, I'll take that one. Well, lo and behold, what I didn't know is the smaller the kayak, the more it rock.

and the more that it tips and sways back and forth. So is it long? Is it long and narrow? It's short and narrow. It's like a speed kayak. Yeah, and they had basically long, wide ones. Can I ask a question? And this is what they looked like.

Well, thank you, Kyle. Thank you for that photo. They were single person, right? So they're pretty damn small. Yeah, they're all single person. Can I ask a question? Please. Did anyone wear a life jacket?

Of course not. That's shenanigans. All right. Instead, I'll paint the picture. Instead, we decide we're going to suit up. Okay, we're going to put on our wetsuits, throw all our dive gear down by our feet and kayak for four hours in our thick neoprene to get to this area to dive in 7 mil wet suits. That's all fine.

These guys do that kind of thing a lot, and I'm, you know, I'm a tough guy or so, I think. So I put on my, we all put on our wetsuits. It's not hot out or anything. And we start kayaking. And these guys are like, they're behind me a little bit. And I'm like, ha ha, you know, I got the speedy kayak. like idiots. And I'm rocking, I'm cruising. And the kayak just starts swaying as I'm paddling. It's just swaying. And I'm like, holy shit, I'm not feeling good. I start sweating. I'm like,

it's hot in this. It's doing this. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's the worst. And it's listing the whole time, like side to side. And then the nose and bow or fish tailing the whole time. I mean, it's terrible. But I'm way ahead of them, right? I'm like a quarter mile ahead of these guys. And we're like, I don't know, a couple hours into the paddle. And I'm like, whew, man, it's getting hot. out here. I'm not feeling so good. And I'm thinking it's the neoprene. Well, we see the end is in sight. We have walkies. I'm like, guys, I see the spot. You know, it's coming up on my GPS, blah, blah, and they're like, great, great, you know, you're way ahead of us get there and dive. And I rock up and I start putting in the little anchor, you know, we like tie to the kelp to get diving.

It's in the middle of the red triangle, meaning the highest great white shark attack density in the world. We're completely by ourselves, middle of nowhere. I'm rocking around. Definitely worth it for that 11-inch abalone. Definitely worth it. for a snail. And my buddies pull up, and I'm like sitting there and I'm like, who, not feeling good. And my buddy Brian describes it the best. I pull up, or he pulls up, and I'm already back in the kayak because I got there and I got in the water immediately. I've got this abalone, this massive 11-inch trophy ab right here. Wow. Nice. Which I was incredibly proud of. I got in. I dove down. It was the first big ab I saw on a crack. I popped it. I got

straight back in the kayak. That was it. one and done. And I'm like, they pull up and I'm like, hey guys, I don't feel so good. And I just puke all over myself. And it's just literally, it's all down the front of my wetsuit. I've got this abalone on my lap. My dive's gears back. And they're like, dude, we just got here. And I'm like, I'm going back. And literally, that is a good seasickness impression. That is, you just nailed that. It gets so much worse. For two hours on my own. So they stay to dive and get their trophies. And a funny story, neither of them got one as big. But they stay and dive for a couple hours. Neither of them are seasick. And I just start kayaking back by

myself. And for two hours, I'm throwing up. It's just dribbling down the front of my beard and onto my chest and crying the whole time. I'm like, I'm so sick. God damn it. Yeah. Yeah. I want a video of this so bad. Because there's nobody to see me. So I can be as big of a baby as I like. And I'm literally, there are tears running down my cheek, puke all in my lap, filling the kayak all over my chest and the snail by my feet. And I'm literally just crying and puking for two hours by myself. I finally get back to the harbor. And I just, I'm so exhausted and so, like, been so sick for so long. I just roll out of the kayak into like a foot deep water and let the waves literally wash me and the kayak up onto the rocks. And I just lay there getting like

washed on the rocks going, clinging to his snail. Holding my snail. And that was how I got my trophy. The only way that story is better is if when you were like 30 feet from the shore, you got hit sideways by a wave and the abalone went into the ocean.

I know, totally. And it was free. I know, totally. So you paddled through shark infested waters? Oh, yeah, big time. I mean, a lot of people did. It's not like I'm the only one ever did it up there. But yeah, it's pretty scary.

The zone that we dove, true story, and this might narrow it in if there's any abalone divers listening, but I won't give away too much. The zone that we dove is the exact area the two years prior that abalone diver was decapitated by a white shark. The only time in history a white shark has bitten somebody's head off. So you're like, let's go there. Let's go there. Yeah, because nobody's diving there because of that story. So we're like, that's where the big snails are.

And that's why you have the shirt on. That's why you have the shirt on. What does the shirt say, Forrest? Let's read it. No amygdala. That's because Forrest has no amygdala. So if you don't have an amygdala, get the shirt. Yeah.

Shop. Dot the Wild Times Podcast.com. I'm going to read you guys a text that I received this past week, which was Shark Week. Forrest had two shows on Shark Week. Well, we had one, and then I had a different one. Yeah, exactly. I starred in one. That's right.

That's how I remember it. But here's what I got. I said, your boy, Forrest, this is from my wife's cousin. Your boy Forrest is a wild man. They're watching the Shark Week special. I said, his amygdala is missing. No fear.

He then responded, oh, man, he's living on borrowed time. He's predicting that you will die soon, Forrest. Yeah, that's mean. It's a mean thing to write. But we all laughed at it. Yeah, it is funny. I will say, though, man, C-Sy-Sy. is just a disgusting, awful feeling.

And the second thing that's an awful feeling, I went on a mountain bike ride last weekend. So we decided to tackle me and a buddy. I know. I invited you, Peter. You don't get to have fun for like another year, just so you know. Yeah, it starts at 18 months.

But anyway, so we decided to go on this bike ride. We left really late. We left really late because I thought I left my wallet in an Uber. So it was like two hours of troubleshooting that. And it turned out it was in my buddy's pocket because he thought it was his wallet. I contest. You have early onset Alzheimer's.

There's a lot of good studies out there. It was our friend, Forrest, it was a field producer on Extincter Alive. It was in Justin's pocket the entire time. He thought it was his wallet. So that's a sidebar. Justin went mountain biking? Yeah, 26 miles. It's not that.

I'm certain he's capable of the physical activity. what I'm uncertain about is his balance and coordination on a bicycle. Yeah, he's really into it. It's like his main exercise. But so we go on this 26-mile thing, and we get to the turnaround point. It's not like a loop. So we get to the end. It's 13 miles.

And neither of us have been in a while. And both of our crotch areas and inner thighs and butttocks are purple bruised. Like, yeah. Yeah. Just been beaten to shit. shit by the seat. And it's like starting to be twilight. Neither of us have a flashlight.

Neither of the bikes have a light. Yep. And I'm like, Justin, man, like we've got a fucking cruise back. Like, we got to cruise down. Like, let's go. I don't want to be out here in the dark. Someone's going to die. He's like fiddling with his seat, stopping every fucking half mile and asking to switch bikes.

Then he wants to switch back because they were both his bikes. I'm just picturing Pat like frantically like, Dude, I was freaking out, but also it was one of those moments where you just go, I need some, I want someone to come rescue me. I can't physically bike this 13 miles because I can't even sit on the seat. This was a bad idea. Adding sea sickness into that feeling of hopelessness with no chance of rescue. Yeah.

It's a nightmare. I had a story. I think I might have told it on the pod, but I was with my ex-wife with you and your girl at the time in Kauai and we went on the Nepali coast hike which is totally unprepared no food we were thinking this was going to be a couple hours it was like all day I mean 12 hours or something but anyways on the way back you know it's getting dark man and that's the thing when it's getting dark and you're in the woods like or or somewhere where you don't know where the next piece of civilization is you start to panic and I had and I had uh my ex and

she, of course, had fallen and hurt her knee really badly. Yeah, she took a hard fall. Yeah. And then it started raining. And God, dude, it was, it was like trying to balance this panic with like, we have to get out of here before the, before it gets dark. And she's like, no, she's like, we're good, we're good. But she's hurt too. Because normally I'd just be like, no, you're wrong.

Let's go. Got to go faster. Go, go, go. It was hurt. So I couldn't really do that. And, man, it was, I was like, I was really. panicking, like, we're going to be stuck in here forever. We're going to have to spend the night in the woods on the Nepali Coast.

We're going to get eaten by cannibals in Hawaii. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's, well, self-rescue sucks. I've had to do it. I mean, that was like a mini self-rescue, but self-rescue sucks. It's not fun. You just got to push through. Yeah, you're like, nobody can help me in this situation, and I feel about as bad as I can

feel. Dude, there's a movie. There's a Vigo Mortensen movie. Oh, so here's, this is part of the Nepali Coast hike for us. I don't know if you ever done it, but it's called Crawler's Ledge. Looks awesome. And it's because a lot of people crawl this, including us. We all crawled it because it's a straight drop to your certain death.

It's not that sketchy, but there's something about knowing that if you take one step, just take one step off. And it gets windy as shit up there. I bet. A minor slip and you're done. Yeah, we crawled that. But there's a Vigo Mortensen movie. I can't remember what it's called. But there's a moment where, like, he's living with his kids off the grid.

And one of the kids, they're doing this rock climb and like the 10-year-old falls and hurts himself. He like breaks his arm. And he's like, still got to finish this climb. And he's hysterically crying in Vigo's way above him. And he calls down to him. And he's like, you know, Jack. And he gets his attention. And he's like, no help is coming.

Like, you have to do it. no one's coming to help you. It's not possible. And like the kid digest that and then like realizes he can get up. But I've had to tell myself, that has stuck in my head a few times on shoots where like you're so miserable, you're so cold,

you're not sure if you have frostbite. And you just want to quit. And like that line sticks in my head. Like, okay, rescue's not coming. You have to do it. No help is coming. Just got to do it.

Yep. There's that movie 127 hours where the dude ended up cutting off his fucking hand. We got stuck in the rock, dude. Watch a documentary. on it the other day. I was like, he didn't want to do it either. Like he, of course not. I mean, he put it off as long as he could until like, he was like, okay, I'm going to die from cutting it off, but it's my only chance and it fucking worked. Dude, he had to like, he had it in there. He cut it off.

it wouldn't come off all the way. He had to like bang back and snap the bone off. I'm like, I don't know if could you, you would have to do it. Like, it's the only thing you could do. I can't even imagine, to be honest. All right, well, that's kind of grim. You know what? We promised that... I mean, it's grim in the sense of I hate thinking of snapping my own bones.

Also, he did it with like a Swiss Army knife file or something disgusting. Yes. Anyway, irrelevant. It was a small multi-tool. Yeah. Okay, so we said that we were going to bring segments back. There's one segment that we...

I think we all love doing it. The problem was we just ran out of time to do it. And so here it is. It's what's in that. the news. Who made these jingles? I forget. These are great.

God damn it. Mm-K. Okay. Okay. All right, what's in the news? All right, so this one's pretty fun, and we're going to treat it like a game, okay? There are holes on the ocean floor, and scientists don't know why. So, I was going to pull up the photo.

I'll explain. North of the Azore Islands near Portugal, somewhere I've always wanted to go to dive, along a volcanic ridge at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, sea explorers are using a remotely operated vehicle, an ROV, similar to what we use on many shoots, to examine largely unexplored areas. That's all fine, that makes sense. But what they saw is something that cannot be explained by science. They saw about a dozen sets of single file lines of holes in the depths of the ocean at about 1.6 miles down. 300 miles away, a few days later, they found more.

Why? Interesting. Why? What? Where? How? When? This has to be the work of the octopus.

I knew you were going to say that. I'm just, they are very intelligent. I'd only live two to three years, but they are very intelligent and they like to play games, my friend. So this is them playing games They saw the pod The humans coming down in this thing They know what it is because they're that smart

They've been down there before And they're like let's fuck with them Hey Bill Poke poke poke poke poke Then they just kept going Kept going did the same thing 300 miles away They just guaranteed fact

So do you think I hear you And I agree that is indeed fact And you know Irrefutable Is this something that Octopus's octopi are doing consciously to fuck with the scientists.

Absolutely. I've talked to them. Okay. Yeah. Okay. That makes sense. Yeah. That's interesting.

I think it's hydrothermal activity. I think there's some sort of thermal, uh, underwater volcano underneath the ground that's releasing superheated water that's cutting through the earth. That's nice. I was happening in my baby's diaper last night. I, there, there is a German word called leben spuren, which means life traces in German, which is for some unknown reason been accepted scientifically for a long time now. And I agree that it is indeed Leben Spurne, this life traces.

My opinion is what they don't know is that there's some sort of large bivalve down there. And so we get these huge, Kyle, pull this up, ribbon worms, deep sea ribbon worms. So you get these huge worms that come out and get really long along the bottom of the ocean. And they use this as a means, sort of a tactile means to look for, food and anything that they can find. Yuck. Yeah. So my guess is there's some kind of a very large ribbonworm-like ribbonworm-esque animal

down at the bottom of the ocean. And sort of like the mycelium network of mushrooms, this thing has this big network that's spread out and it's popping up along its course. That's my guess. It's totally random. I have no idea. I just have this vision in my head of this large, sluggish creature. are they making these holes?

You're thinking like an undescribed subspecies? Oh, probably its own species. I think there are so many species we don't know about on the bottom of the ocean, especially because if you think about it like this, I mean, think of like, if you go to the beach and you dig in the sand, you're going to find 50 different species of crustacean

that you don't, scientists know what they are because we live at the beach, but I don't know what they are. Sand fleas and worms and muscle worms and larval forms of clams and all these different things, tiny hermock sand crabs, things like that. We don't know what's in the sediment deep down at sea

because all we've ever been able to do deep down is like take a single like zoop, you know, like a little core sample and bring it up. And if we don't get what's in that exact little pocket core sample, we have no idea. Right. If you go dig at the beach, you can dig for a mile and not find anything and then you can move 100 feet down the beach

and get a million sand crabs in one dig, just depending on where they are. So I think that there's tons of stuff in the sediment down there that we don't know about. And this is one of them. Are they moving forward with this? Like, gonna go back down there and try and, like, figure out what it is. Are they just like, we got it, we captured what it is.

We're out of here? Well, the point of the expedition in the Azores is to map the seafloor and to look at these tectonic plates using R of these. So I don't think life is like the main focus. So, I don't know. I didn't see anything in the article saying that they're like on the hunt to figure out what it is now. But I think it's cool.

It's one of those things that's like, here's an animal, doing something and we don't know what animal we don't know why we don't know when you know it's just like total mystery um what else are the azoors what are the what else are the what else are the azores famous for what do people know the a zor tuna yellowfin tuna they have incredible yellowfin tuna runs um that is incredible you know it's supposed to be world class diving and spear fishing and these huge schools of pelagic tuna coming through the azoers which i would love to go and see. Interesting.

What else, Peter? What in your realm? Your sort of conspiracy theory realm are the Azores known for? About the Azores? People think the Azores... People think the Azores... A lot of people that are into the whole search for Atlantis, think the Azores are somewhere there is where Atlantis would have been.

I'm into aliens, my friend. Listen, I sent you... Here's some news for you. I sent Pat a video of undeniable proof of aliens, and he didn't even reply. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Any answer? He used to be into aliens with me.

What happened? He didn't watch the video. It's the answer. Yeah, I know. I'll tell you what happened, and I'll tell you what's happened, and then we can go on to the next news story if you want. But what happens is Peter sends me things. He sent me a minute and a half long voice text, which I really liked.

I agreed with him. I called him. He doesn't answer. He has not answered probably my last six phone calls. We used to commiserate. We used to have nice hangouts on the phone while we drink cocktails at night. I just had a child. I don't have time.

You should have a little leeway. So you're basically, you're snubbing me because I couldn't get to your phone call. One phone call? I don't like texting. If I want to talk aliens, I want to talk on the phone for at least 30 minutes. Okay, fucking boomer. Yeah. I'm a phone guy.

All right. What else? What else you got? What else you got? Yeah, this one, this one I really liked. This one's very weird. Greenland shark, okay? A giant prehistoric shark.

You see this? Do you know what we're talking about, Peter? Refresh me, maybe. Doesn't matter. Greenland shark, giant prehistoric Arctic shark, the oldest living vertebrate on the planet, living up to five, six hundred years old, occurs in the Arctic, under ice caps, right?

Slow, lives a long time, it's cold. We've talked about them a few times on the pod. Okay. Well, guess where they just found one? In Belize, in the Caribbean. Yep. What? Greenland you can survive. No idea. No idea.

Greenland shark washes up in the Caribbean Ocean. What is going on? Oh, is dead, though? It's dead. Okay. It doesn't matter. It's not like it can stay. It's still got out there.

There's no world in which it could die in the Arctic and drift to Belize without your compiles. That's like a polar bearer. washing up on the shore of Lake Michigan. Exactly. No, that's closer. That's much closer. It's like a polar bear washing up in Belize.

It's like the same thing. That's crazy. It's wild. Yeah. So what do you think? And it was in, I mean, the water there is just so, like, we're talking 34 degree water in its known habitat. It's swimming around in 75 degree water.

Like bath water. And it's fully intact when it died. I mean, it hadn't decomposed at all. Yeah, this is an enigma to science. You know, what we do know about them is that they prefer these frigid waters of the Arctic and North Atlantic. Potentially, the idea is that they could be trolling around the depths, you know, at thousands of feet below all the thermoclines where, because I don't know if anybody knows this, but at a certain depth, the temperature of the ocean is basically the same the world over. No shit. Yeah, yeah.

Where there's no light penetrating and there's no hydrothermal vent activity or anything else, at a certain depth. At a certain depth, the world over, the ocean is the same temperature. It's all, you know, slightly above freezing. I didn't know that at all. And that's not exact, you know, it's not exactly like that. But it's very, very close. It's just very, very cold down deep. It's like the deep end of my pool.

Sure. It's always cold. But, you know, the Caribbean, for one, is pretty shallow. It's not very deep. The hencehold of the islands everywhere. And two, it's just, it's unbelievable. So the idea is that maybe the shark was trolling around the deep ocean. died for some reason, or maybe it came up to the surface on a nocturnal migration, got shell shock,

died, temperature shock. Who knows? The point is, nobody knows. The final determination is that it was definitely in the sleeper shark family, whether it was a Greenland shark or another Pacific sleeper, nobody knows. And because of its size, it was most likely a Greenland. What it was doing there, nobody knows. And it's fascinating. Pull up that picture again, if you will, Kyle. you know i noticed that that greenland shark like a lot of animals that live for a long time that thing is gashed up right you can see evidence that it's lived a lot of hard years more hard years than you have peter yeah peter in his hard years he's got scratches all over on it you know he's his eyes are all cloudy from isopods eating out his vision so i was going to say i mean you know

this thing's covered in scratches tell me what you might know as a biologist peter or uh for us Peter. What kind of battles is this Greenland shark going through in its daily life living in the depths of the ocean? He's fighting with octopus? He's undeniably run into some giant squid that have decided that he could either be on the menu or that they are on the menu for him to spending it on their age and life cycle. I imagine, like most sharks, their mating is nothing pretty. They're probably biting each other and fighting with each other the whole time they're doing it. As I said before, his eyes are cloudy, meaning he has eyes.

Isopods, small deep sea parasites, eating out the tissue in his eyes, making them blind. Granted, they don't use their eyes a lot. They don't need to. Yeah, I'm just sure he's had, yeah, like you said, even more hard years than Peter, and that means a lot. Yes, my hard years are past now. Look at this face.

It's smooth as my babies. I got one more. One more watch in the news. Then we'll move on. This one's for Patrick. He loves dinosaurs. He particularly loves. Most children do.

Oh, boy. I don't think I'm not the one who sent this one to Kyle. Oh, you know. Okay. Pleasiosaur fossils. This is the biggest piece of news in the last, in my lifetime. I love this. In your lifetime.

Yeah. Pleasiosaur fossils found in the Sahara Desert suggests they weren't just marine animals. Wow. What? Kyle, definitely pull up a picture of Pleasiosaur, please. Yeah, but wasn't the Sahara underwater? No. It was, but it's not what you're thinking.

They don't think it's a, it was a land animal. Oh, I see. That's not the news. The news is, well, I'll let forest. Yeah, yeah. Oh, please. Please. You've dug in that much more than I have.

They found evidence that the, that pleasiosaurus were living in lakes and rivers. Exactly. Oh, wow. Fresh water as well. So some subspecies of pleasaur or the same one was not just hanging out in the ocean, but they were in freshwater bodies of water, lakes and rivers. Think about the next time you go for a dip in the lake. which, let me point this out for a second,

and we all know I'm not really big into the real cryptids, but one of the biggest arguments for why the Loch Ness Monster isn't real, or let me say this, most people think that the Loch Ness Monster, most people that believe in the Lachnes Monster, believe that it's a Pleasiosaur that's still around, okay? But one of the biggest arguments is that the lock is brackish and mostly fresh water. Now, this study is putting out information that Plesiosaur,

could live in freshwater rivers and streams 100 million years ago. There you go. That's right. It's proof. I mean, look at that. It's undeniable. I mean, that man who put a stocking over his hand and went like this, he nailed it. Yeah, we got it.

That famous photo is actually debunked, fact. That one was debunked. I know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's pretty cool. It's to suggest that these fossils, or the fossils suggest that pleases are adapted to tolerate fresh.

Water, potentially even spending their lives there, meaning they could reproduce in fresh water. The bones and teeth were found scattered in different locations. It wasn't a whole skeleton, meaning it was a bunch of different animals. And they're not as big as you think. Oh, interesting. These freshwater pleasiosaur, at least the ones they found, were three meters long. So they weren't like the giant ocean. What's that in English?

It's 10 and a half feet. Yeah, 12 feet. Good job. Yeah. So yeah, pretty damn cool. That's it. That's it for me in the news. I just thought those were really good story.

That's a fun one. It's still pretty big. Inspires your imagination. Gives hope to the Lochness Monster being real. Let me ask you guys this. Let's say that some little booze cruise is happening in the lock because a group of tourists are in Scotland. They hire a boat. They want to get drunk.

They're booze cruising. Lockness monster comes up full pleasiosaur head, indisputable evidence of a living dinosaur. The Lochness monster is real. how big is that news? It'll go totally under the radar. Be considered a debunked conspiracy. Nobody will believe it. That's it.

You're such a cynic about all that stuff. Nobody believes anything. That's true. It's like what's that movie, that Brad Pitt movie that came out pretty recently where like the world is ending and the news reporters are like, don't look up.

It's like a don't look up scenario. Yes. The scientists are like, do you understand? that we now know there's a pleasaur, and they're like, my mother-in-law could be considered a pleasiosaur. And it's like, yeah, it's like full dismissive, like, let's turn it into a daytime joke and move on.

I think that's exactly how that's true. You would be us three and our 31,000 brosters, those are the people that would care. That's right. I've said this before. Like, my mother, if aliens came down and landed, you know, on top of Capitol Hill,

my mom just wouldn't no not processing that information most people would just be like I don't care it's whatever there's other reptiles whatever they'd be like what are those Republicans doing on the in yeah why did those Republicans put them on that room?

What do they think about this if they say it's real it's not real that's funny Patrick yeah go ahead go ahead I got to hear what you guys say I know I know that you came up with your own bizarre animal the week you did a lot of research you had texted the group

how excited you were. I think for the first time in Wild Times history, you should host Bazaar animal. Play that jingle. Boom. All right, fellas. This is the bizarre animal of the week. And let me just say this.

I can't wait for us to see if I can stump you. Yeah, please. Because this is truly the weirdest of all animals of its kind. The weirdest. I'm going to give you some facts. This is how bizarre animal that works. He didn't reply at all. He just looked at the way.

No, my phone started ringing and I was embarrassed. So I quickly had to find it. What do you have a Motorola? What is that thing? That's an iPhone. What are you talking about? Oh, it's a normal. We have giant hands?

Yeah. All right, here's how it works. I list facts and see if these guys can guess what animal it is. One is a wildlife biologist. One is in every man who's very interested in wildlife. You could say it, man. I'm a dumb, dumb. I don't know anything.

I disagree with that. Okay. Here's some facts about a bizarre species, a real animal that exists. A typical full-grown one of these is about one foot long and weighs just a few pounds, although there have been recorded specimens that reached four feet long and 127 pounds. Jesus, that is a huge variety. Big range. Okay.

Initial thoughts, forest. Typically, one of these. I think it's got to be like a reptilian of some kind. because they have, you know, it's like Siamese dwarf crocodiles versus saltwater crocodile. It's like they can be small, they can be big. Yeah, I'm going to go reptilian. Second fact, this animal is close to being listed as endangered.

It will soon theoretically be listed as endangered. Okay. I'm definitely sticking with reptilian, reptiles, especially turtles. They're under a lot of stress. I'm narrowing in. I got it. It's crocodilian, maybe turtle. I'm leaning towards the worm,

variety just because of the variation in or some sort of in sizes large insect You're saying that there's an insect that gets to 127 pounds? Okay. He is. He is saying that.

Third fact, this animal has a huge head and a crescent shaped mouth filled with tiny translucent teeth. Oh shit. What was that one that was that has the glass teeth? Oh, I know what it is.

It's a giant salamander. It's a giant salamander. It's amphibious. Yeah, it's a giant salamander. It's like a Chinese giant salamander. They get to four feet long. That's about right. Chinese salamander.

Well, let's see if the next... Let's see if this next... That's where I'm at. That's where I'm at. That's where I'm at... I'm at a large earthworm. Okay. All right, well, let's see if this next fact changes things.

Okay. The animal has a symbiotic relationship with a bacteria, which means their relationship's useful for both animals. But scientists have no idea how this animal and the bacteria find each other. It is a mystery. Oh, weird. Do you want anything like for you? That makes me backpedal on the cell.

And I will say this. The symbiotic relationship is what the animal is most often known for by the layman. Does the animal live in space? Yes. I'm going gray alien. All right. I'm lost. You're really getting me on this one.

I think you're going to get it with this one. Roosters, put what you think it is in the comments. Yes, yes. If you're listening live or however that works, you need to be guessing. Or the chat. Live guessing. All right, this animal actively uses bait to bring in prey for it to eat. It uses bait.

What is it a genius? Oh, dude, I know what it is. I don't know what it's called, but I know what it is. Take it my guess. Okay. What's your guess? fish. Okay, that's an interesting guess. Isn't that the thing that hangs with the thing and it has glass teeth and it's in the deep sea?

That's a good guest, Peter. Okay. Let me throw the planet. The animal is found both in extremely cold climates and some are found in warm climates. Their body morphology is determined by the temperature of the climate in which it lives. Crazy. Okay, well, Peter's definitely on to something. It's definitely a deep sea animal.

He's right. I think he's probably, there are several. By the way, there are several deep sea critters that use angling methods that use lures. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. You got by. Stand by. You got other things.

All right. Last one. To mate, the male will bite the female's stomach and never let go. Their nervous system and circulatory system eventually fuse together and they become one. The male essentially is an inanimate sack of gonads. And they have found females with eight males latched on to them and fused to her body at once. It's certainly a fish. It's definitely a fish.

It's definitely something gross in the deep sea. I've also heard Peter described as an inanimate sack of gonads before. I have several of those latched onto my stomach, actually. Peter is right, by the way. That is a fact that makes it stand alone in the animal kingdom. It is indeed. Drum roll, pull up a photo, please, Kyle, the angler fish. You got it before I did.

Good job. Yeah, you got it before I did. Not kidding. Wow. Mind blown. Good job, guys. Wow. I didn't think honestly I didn't think I was very lost until like the second the last clue

Yeah I know you guys are correct you're correct It's unbelievable I'm very proud of myself this is probably the proudest moment I've had Even more proud than I was when my wife gave birth I'm just saying you should be And you should probably name your next born child anglerfish Can I just throw this out there? Imagine if you were fucking swimming granted I know they go way deeper but imagine if you were swimming and saw a hundred and twenty-seven pound angler fish. Dude. That's terrifying.

It's absolutely terrifying. I didn't know that fact really threw me off. I thought the biggest angler fish were like 10 pounds. I didn't know they got a hundred and twenty-seven pounds. That's amazing. Yeah, very rare apparently because most of them don't even get longer than a foot, but a four-foot 100. It's shaped like a fucking bowling ball, right?

So I can see how a four-foot one could be that big. Quick question. Quick question. So you know that famous? picture of the blobfish. I actually have it on the shirt back there, my spirit animal. You guys know the famous one where it looks disgusting with like the big lips and everything. So I found out obviously that that's not really what it looks like in its natural environment. When it's deep sea and it has all the pressure of down there. It's like a normal looking fish.

Is that what you're talking about with the angler fish being in different environments? Like it looks disgusting like that because it's in more pressure or? No, they always look like that. pictures you just saw are live photos from the depth. So what's, so what are you talking about the difference in the skin or the difference in the, uh, oh,

it's just some, so some live, uh, most anglerfish live extremely deep in the ocean. And some of them live in like warm like coral environments, which is weird, like a very few of them and they just have totally different like skin. Look at the size of this one. Yeah.

There are many species. The better way to explain this. Peter, is there are many species of anglerfish. It's not like there is one anglerfish. Oh, I got you. There's like 15 or 20. Yeah. There are 15 or 20 different species throughout the world.

Gotcha. That are different based on where they live. All right. Okay. Yeah. I just know a thing about a blobfish and I wanted to say it. Yeah. So the blobfish,

the blobfish doesn't actually look like that in its environment? No. Mm-mm. That, yeah, there you go. Thank you, Kyle. I mean, it kind of ruins it for everybody. I almost wish we didn't know this. But, yeah, no.

That's a nightmare for me. Yeah. Well, you kind of look like the one on the right. I know. I know. I'm always frowning. I've got a little worm hanging out of my mouth. I do your best blobfish face.

Okay. Pretty good. Take a... What are you doing? How are you doing that? I'm blowing out. Yeah. I'm blowing out my cheeks and pushing in my neck.

Remember when planking was a thing? Can we make blob fishing a thing? That's a really good idea. Yes. Yeah. Can we give away three? Can we give away three free blobfish, My Spirit Animal T-shirts to the Brosners, who are three favorite? We want to make this a new meme.

It's called blob fishing. We want the Brosner's to send us photos of them making a blobfish face. Yes. And we will give away three free blobfish tank. Tops. I will pay for it personally. Yep. Yes. Oh, Peter's getting it so you can see. So if you're a new brosner, this is the blobfish merch, my spirit animal with the blobfish on it. That's huge. That's a great, that's a great give right there. Here's what you do. Here's what you. Take a picture of you making this blobfish

face. Put it on Instagram. Hashtag what's our, what's our handle? I don't know. Peter, what's our, what's our Instagram? Tag us at Wild Times Pod. Tag at Wild Times Pod and hashtag it blobfishing. Blop fishing, yeah. Oh, yeah. And our three favorites get a free my Spirit Animal T-shirt. I hope we get at least three submissions. Yeah, we need three submissions minimum.

Hashtag blob fishing. All right, well, speaking of that, Peter, what's the thing? All the new brosters, where do they follow on the socials and the thing? Do the thing. Oh, yes. First of all, welcome all the new subscribers. It's unbelievable. almost doubled in numbers

within three days. It's incredible. So thank you for following us. If you're still watching at this point, thank you even more because nobody watches the shit at the end of a video like this. Seriously. To find us, you can find us at the Wild Times Podcast.com forward slash info for all the

links to listen to the podcast on all the audio places. It's got the link to the YouTube, to the shop, to the Patreon, to the Everything. That's the Wild Times Podcast.com forward slash info. The Patreon is is patreon.com forward slash wild times pod. All of our socials are at Wild Times Pod.

I know I'm annoying, but I love you. Even everybody who's new. And I love you too. And if you're new and you want four additional podcasts a month, hit up the Patreon. That's how you do it. That's right. For a month.

That's good stuff. Hey, can we do an AMA soon? We should. I enjoy those. Oh, do the 100th episode is the one after this. What are we doing for it? Let's go to your house and record on the couch. That was fun.

Live? Could we do a live at my house? I'd like to do that. To worry a house together? Can we do that? Can you do that? We did it last time. Yes, we could do it.

Well, your wife allow it. Of course, she'll allow it. I'll make it work. She's cool. I will. By the way, my next week, Monday and Tuesday, I'm offshore, but otherwise I'm very flexible. Let's do it next week. All right, 100 episode coming after this one.

We're going to do a live in person. We're going to be boozing and we're going to be saying what's up. I'm not because that would be like 600 bucks. That'll pick you up. He'll be their seven hours late. All right, everybody. Good night. Thank you.

It's so smooth. So cool. It's like porno music. In a way. Old school. 80s style. That was gross. Peter, don't do stuff like that.