Wild Times: Wildlife Education - United States Bans Shark Finning - The Wild Times Ep. 109

Episode Date: January 2, 2023

The Wild Times crew discuss the recent ban on shark finning in The United States, Peter's fruit picker run in with his neighbor, and our favorite 2022 moments and 2023 resolutions.    Visit https://thewildtimespodcast.com/ now!  Get your Wild Times Podcast merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch   Leave a review on iTunes Apple Podcast: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/itune...   Get Up To 4 Bonus Podcasts Per Month ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod  Subscribe to The Wild Times Podcast on YouTube ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod  Watch More Episodes Here ▶▶ https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLP...   Follow The Wild Times Podcast on socials:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wildtimespod/   TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespod   Twitter: https://twitter.com/WildTimesPod  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/   Listen to The Wild Times Podcast on:  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cbFBzf...  Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...  Google: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0...  Anchor.fm: https://anchor.fm/wildtimespod/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod   Enjoy, brosteners!   TWT 109 - The Breakdown   00:00 - Intro  01:05 - Stolen Fruit Picker   07:15 - United States Bans Shark Finning  15:00 - P-22 Euthanized  18:35 - Best Moments of 2022  23:17 - Patrick Camping in the Everglades  34:20 - Worst Terrains We've Been In  42:08 - 2023 Resolutions  47:10 - Reddit Rundown  56:20 - Battle Royale  1:03:35 - Outro  https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-tire/   #podcast #wildtimespod

I can go on a rant about this because we've been doing conservation for a couple hundred years and we're still losing the fucking battle. But three to 40 years ago, like you could just fucking come up with it. It was like, hey, we're going to put beavers in because it's going to fix it. It's like, okay, great. How are we going to get them there? I don't know. I'll get like a crop dusting plane and build a parachute out of my bed sheet. Broome out the fucking plane.

Boom, we got beavers. It's the wild times. All right, Peter. It's a new year. It's a new wild. Times. I think you're going to do all the intros from here on out. I'm going to show up. Welcome to the Wild Times. I'm your host, Retap.

These two idiots with me. One of them is Forrest Galante. You may have seen him on a world famous show, Extincter Alive. And the guy who created that show, the Spiceman right here, Patrick DeLuca himself, we're all drinking fat tire. Happy New Year, 2023. Yes, happy New Year, everybody. And this is episode number 100 and maybe 9 or 10, 110, I think. I think. Good.

That was like the Grinch just did the intro of a podcast. I'm not a happy person. I'm an unhappy person. I told you that my neighbor stole something out of my yard. I have it on tape. And I've been furious ever since. What was it that he stole? Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. He texted me. Before you even, let me just set this up because it's so funny. Yesterday I texted Peter and I was like, hey, do you want to jump on and do a potter just hang out today? And he wrote back, hold on. Where is it? Hold on.

It's so good what you wrote. Can we please do this tomorrow? Nobody wants to hear my bullshit. Also, my neighbor stole my fruit picker out of my backyard, and I'm in a horrible mood, unable to overcome my anger. The fruit picker? The thing that used to get the high oranges? Let me set it up for you, okay? This is a wildlife podcast, and this is some wild shit.

That involves trees. So my neighbor has a tree in their backyard that's essentially destroying the wall that separates our yard. It's like lifted up, pushed out, like there's vines growing through it. And I called them, talk to them. I had three people come out and look at it. They all said that if you keep letting this tree grow, it's going to burst through your pool, and the roots are searching for water. And it's going to cost thousands of dollars to repair.

So I finally, like, after months and months, they have somebody come out to deal with the tree. They don't fix the fucking problem. They just trim the tree. And the tree's still there with all the roots and everything. And so I sent him like an email. It was negative. And I was just like, you didn't fix the problem. So on the 18th, now I find this camera footage on Christmas Day.

You have it? Can you show this footage? I have it. I'll try and bring it up. Or Kyle can edit it in. It's at night, so it's hard to see. But I literally, I scoured the footage because I noticed that the picker, it's a red extendable fruit picker that you use to pick the fruit that's too high. And it's very infuriating because it's fruit season and I can't get to these goddamn oranges.

And so, and so I see. Yes, fruit season, guys. Some beautiful fucking oranges. All the fruit in season. It's fruit season. Nothing beats a fucking orange. from a fresh from this tree, dude. So I see that it's missing on Christmas

and I'm just like, what the fuck? So I break away from Christmas and I'm scouring the security camera footage a week's worth of it to try and figure out what happened. So I narrow it down to the night because I see it's there the day missing the next morning. And then I go through fucking literally like five minute increments

until I see the motherfucker come out of the house, walk over to the east side of the wall, yonk it, fucking go, puts it on the side of his house, walks back in, shuts the door. And I'm just like, I'm gonna fucking, I was so furious, dude, and I've done nothing about it. What am I going to do? Call the cops. Like, what are they going to do? Have you said anything to the neighbor?

Yeah, I sent them many a threatening message. Not like threatening. I told him I was going to call the cops. I was like, I have you on tape at 7.28 p.m. on Sunday night. Like, somebody walks out of your house. It was like the Grinch who stole Christmas. He came the day before Christmas and stole your picker? Well, this was the 18th, but nevertheless.

Good God. But I'm much happier now. Got my fat tire. Getting handbone-fisted. That whole thing. We're just kicking it off with like a big, aggressive rant. Happy New Year. Did he respond to the fruit picker inquiry?

Oh, this is even better. So get this. So the whole thing's a fucking mess, first of all. I coordinate with the citizens. who lives in New York because the mom is nuts and won't interact with us. And the brother takes care of the mom's property or lives there some shit. So I got the brother's number or sister's number. I send them a group text to the both of them.

And I say, you know, I'm like, hey, listen, I think you might have borrowed my fruit, my red extendable fruit picker on this day and this night. I'd like it if it was just back where it was by tomorrow morning. Yeah. Nothing back. And then I say, uh, I say, you know, I've got cameras back there. I've got it on tape.

If you could just please put it back so I don't have to get the police involved. And she accidentally texts back the group instead of just her brother. Oh, no. And it's just like, it's not like we're plotting revenge on him or something. And then, you know, clearly like something she's saying to him. And then she's like, oh, my. Wrong thread. Sorry, Peter.

I'll ask my mother about it. Oh, boy. And that's the last I've heard of it. Oh, boy. Wow. Well, sorry. I mean, no, this is good. If you're new to the Wild Times, by the way, this is your first podcast. This is a podcast about next door, the neighborhood security system, and Peter is the president of the company.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Fucking hell. Wow, that's really funny. Man, we could have had some fun with that. Like, you could have, we could have burned some DVDs of him getting caught and, like, planted them in the mailbox. and dressed up some fruit pickers and put them in his yard

as like scarecrow fruit pickers. Dude, the fruit pickers are 40 bucks a pop. I want mine back. I would have invested. I would have bought seven of them for your prank. I swear to go. It's easily worth it.

You guys are rich. So, let's kick off the new year on a good note. Anything good for us? Anything good happening in the natural world in the world of wildlife, nature, conservation. This is a little segment we like to call What's in the News? Yes, there's something very exciting leading into

23. The United States has finally decided to ban the sale of shark fins. Ooh, nice. Wait, you're telling me that shark fins weren't already banned? Isn't that crazy? And I think that's the general misconception, especially in places like Florida, shark finning or not necessarily shark finning, but catching sharks, cutting off their fins and being able to sell them, has been legal this entire time.

So all of this outrage about shark finning and especially like the U.S. putting pressure on other places around the country or sorry, around the world. We've been doing it right here at home. So it's only now for the first time in 2023 that the shark fin sales elimination act is going to be approved by President Biden. So it's a long overdue and it's a huge move for conservation of sharks. It's crazy that we haven't done it sooner. Like who's the lobbyist for pro shark finning? Like there's, it's not like a huge, I mean, I've lived in the U.S. my entire life.

I've never been offered a bowl of shark fin soup in the U.S. It's not a huge billion dollar industry. Well, it is, but not necessarily. Ah, they go overseas. Right, not necessarily here. So there is, you know, look, I'm not fully, fully up to speed on like how it breaks. down per nation, but we do undeniably pick up shark fins in the United States and ship them overseas. It's not as big as places like Costa Rica and Central America, but it is a big

industry, but it just shouldn't be. It's like one of those sort of hypocritical things that we've been doing in the States. We have all these activists and lobbyists and outspoken soccer moms being like, stop shark finning, but they're like yelling at people in Central America and Indonesia, which don't get me wrong, we shouldn't be promoting it anywhere. But they're like, you know, barely getting by. Meanwhile, here at home, on our own soil, it's been going on this whole time. How many sharks, I just looked it up, Peter, for us, guess. How many sharks do you think

each year are killed because of shark finning estimation? I'm pretty sure I know the numbers. So Peter, you go first. According to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. I'll go at 25,000. What a good guess. Is it 800 million? 100 million sharks. Holy shit. 100.

A year? Per year. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, dude, if you look at shark populations, like, Forrest and I did a thing about, well, we never filmed it, but we were, it was an episode we were going to do about the USS Indianapolis. That's right. And it's a famous shipwreck where it was actually the ship that delivered the atomic bombs that were dropped on Japan.

And then shortly after that, it got torpedoed somewhere in the South Pacific, right? Correct. Yeah. And near to Guam. got went down and and a lot of the guys who survived the impact and the ship sinking were killed by sharks and it's not you know yikes for us you you assume that it was maybe a big school or a big group of not school but a big group of oceanic white tips correct oceanic white tips most likely culprits so terrifying yes when we're researching it's like the population of oceanic white tips now versus

then is it's at like two percent of like what it was during World War II. Like if you could find one. We really got them back, didn't we? If you can find one, it's like really good. And like you film it and it's exciting. There's like one or two hotspots in the world where you can go that you're most likely going to see one versus back, back just during World War II, where they used to follow

warships to eat garbage and things like that because there were so many of them around. They would just be following ships and waiting for things to get thrown overboard. And yeah, no, it's absolutely crazy. But good news, nonetheless, the fact that it's getting signed in 2023 is huge. It's a big step for conservation. It's a nice put your money where your mouth is for the United States, I feel like. So that's a big step. What do you think the enforcement will be like that?

Like, so let's say this is like, is this like guys down in the Florida Keys that are finning sharks down there? I think so. I think Florida is a big one, Louisiana, like all over the Gulf of Mexico. I think we even do it right here in California with soup fin and dogfish. and things like that. I'm not really sure. But the enforcement has to be. If you're not watching,

Pat just got very angry and threw something at his daughter who's across the room off camera. No, I threw something at the glass door in the office because my dog is like ferociously trying to like pound through the door and I thought it was going to break the glass and is now doing it again. And the door is like shaking off the hinges.

That's really puts me out. Fucking dogs. She make dog fin soup, no? By the way, so shark fin soup and I know we want to move on, but I'm always dog-legging. So the problem with this is that they're using just the fin and then they throw the rest out, right? Is that like the biggest issue with this?

That is the problem. One, they horrifically just slice the fins off and throw the animal back, so it's incredibly wasteful. But two, it is such a high demand because it is such a delicacy in Asia. that it is driving shark populations to utter collapse. So sharks are at the top of the trophic cascade, right? Top of the food chain.

And when you remove a whole lot of animals at the top, you have big trophic cascade effect, big disaster going down the food chain. Without shark fin soup fishing, 100 million animals a year would remain in the ecosystem, controlling and regulating and creating a healthier ocean. So the big problem is it's not even the fact that people are eating shark. It's the amount of sharks that are being killed, the amount of fins that are going into consumption, and thus creating this big market that ultimately can lead to oceanic collapse.

That's the problem. It's not, if you're like, hey, I went out there and I caught a shark and I ate it and I did that once in my life. That's like not really a big deal. I wouldn't recommend it. It tastes like shit. This is kind of interesting. Sharks piss through their skin. They release urea through their skin, which means all the urea, all their piss comes through their meat.

So if you're eating shark meat, you're just eating pea tasting like white meat. It's disgusting. Ew. I mean, that sounds fucking horrid. It's gross. And it doesn't taste good. It's why you have to like soak it and milk and all these things that people do. So anyway, my point being, it's actually not that bad to eat the odd shark here and there.

I'm not saying, go out in a harpoon, a white shark. I'm just saying like, if you were fishing and you caught an angel shark or something like that and you're like, yeah, I want to eat it, it wouldn't be the end of the world. It's the fact that they're, because it's just, yeah. Wow. Did I just get a starting problem? Because it's sustainable to do that. No, go for it. It's because it's sustainable to do that.

What's not sustainable is 100 million sharks a year that is going to give the food dynamic. 100 million? I couldn't have even, it was like insane. I said 25,000. 100 million? That's like, that's a third of the population, a fourth of the population of the United States. And sharks are as big as humans. Plenty.

Plenty are a lot bigger. Fucked up, man. So yeah. But anyway, that's a bit of good news. for sure. Good news. Good news. Good news, which is nice. Love it. Okay, so a few weeks ago, I went on a little bit of a rant. No, no fruit picker rant, but a little bit of a rant about how we do this thing in conservation where we make an animal a poster child, right? And then we create some problem associated with that animal. And I'm referring specifically to

P-22. If you guys remember a few weeks ago, I was like, look at what they're doing here. Now they're saying P-22 has to be caught or she's becoming a problem animal because she's stolen some Chihuahuas, I think. And this is so dumb because ultimately something bad can happen to this animal after they've built up this whole storyline around her. Remember we discussed that? Yeah, of course. Well, I don't know if you guys saw this or not, but sure enough, celebrity mountain lion famed P-22 who lived in the Hollywood Hills has been euthanized. Yep, yep. Oh, girl, pour one out. Pour some fat tire out. You know, he was 13.

10 is the average life expectancy for a cougar in the wild. Yeah. And he had been hit by a car. Right. And that's like the way he was coming down into the neighborhoods. Look at this young handsome picture of P22. What a stud, dude. My God, what a handsome animal.

But it is sad. But like you said, 13 years old, lived a long. Good run. Bestful life. Praying primarily on Beverly Hills Chihuahuas, I believe. Isn't that a movie? That's a movie, I'm pretty sure. Oh, yeah.

Great movie. Anyway, yeah, but he ended up getting euthanized. I mean, obviously my conspiracy brain says, now they claimed he got hit by a car that he was on his last legs. But you say, I mean, you would probably say that's likely to be true, right? For us, because I remember you were talking about he wouldn't be attacking Beverly Hills Chihuahua unless he was injured. Exactly right. And if you find somewhere is the Guardian article, I'm just quickly Googling trying to find it.

See if you can find it, Peter, and you can pull it up. If you scroll down about halfway, you can get to a photo where P22 is like covered in mange and just, you know, and this is just a few years ago. And you can just see the cats getting old. Like you can just sort of see it on his face. Right. But anyway, getting old. And clearly the behavior was indicating that something was off, right? Because that creature, when healthy, doesn't need to go into backyard and eat fluffy.

Exactly. And I think he had been, I might be wrong about this. That's the one. He had been kind of camped out in this, like, the overgrown brush. Yeah, he's covered in mange. Yeah. Wait, I don't think cats get Manged, do they? Mm-hmm.

They do. Okay. Do you know, by the way, that Mange is the same might that causes scabies in humans? I did know that. I recently learned that actually. Yeah. Yeah. So we've evolved to have it not kill us, but it often leads to the death of the animal.

Right. That's terrible. Some disgusting woman that my roommate in college was dating brought scabies into our college house. It was terrible. I didn't even know like it was like a really real thing. It's like I feel like it's such a filthy Midwestern thing. I mean, I was down in like Pohunk at Western Illinois University living in a house that

cost 250 bucks a month or some shit. It was like the filth shithole. This is a majestic picture, though, of P-22. It is. Really like this. It's like one of the best ones ever. It's amazing. Beautiful animal.

Yeah, it's funny. NBC News does their, they kind of do like their year-end wrap-up of like all the wildlife stories. And P-22 is their headline story of 2022. Oh, interesting. Let's take a look back since last year just ended. Okay. Yeah. I love this. For you, what was your best moment of 2022 or the biggest moment?

Could be something you saw in the news. Could be something. What was like the biggest thing that happened to you last year? Peter, go for it. Well, I had a child, which is. You probably should leave with that in case your wife listens. Yeah. It's completely changed and destroyed my life.

No, I'm just kidding. It's changed me as a human being. I haven't taken a shower or slept in four or five months now. You know, but overall it's been good, been good. I stink first. My biggest moment of 2022, I have two moments that instantly come to mind. The first one is sort of selfish. It was finally getting to go to Papua New Guinea for that Shark Week show.

Huge bucket lister for me. I got to hang out with that tribe and catch those cool sharks. and of course the highlight of that was getting to see the shark actually walk out of the water. That was huge. Oh, yeah. Good for you for opening another one, by the way. Cheers. Delicious fat tire.

Cheers. I got three sitting here. I'm good to go. Now, that was moment number one. But I think the moment that maybe rattled me the most that had the most impact on my overall, like, thought process, functionality, aspects for the future was when colossal announced that they're bringing back. the woolly mammoth and that it wasn't like it wasn't like a hoax it was the real deal like that it's happening like i remember hearing that i know we discussed it on the pod and it brought it up several times since but i remember hearing that and just being like what fucking world are we living in

like are they are you really bringing i don't get cell phone service if you look my phone says sOS right now i have no cell service i don't have cell phone service at my house but we are bringing woolly mammoths back and putting them into Siberia. So, that's crazy. It's just sort of like my whole thought process changed. And I was just like, everything that I've always thought is not possible as possible. Like, I am going to see a thylacine in my lifetime. It probably isn't going to be one I find.

It's probably going to be one that someone makes in a lab. Who cares? Yeah. Or Charlie dressed up like a thylacine. Or charlie dressed up as a thylacine. Yeah. Still got to do that. We do.

But yeah, I don't know. That was just like, I just like, couldn't. It was like the only time I think of the year I sat back and just did this like little bit of reflection, self-reflection was like, what? Like am I living in the Matrix? I know. Yeah, I know. How about you, Spice, one? Well, I, it's too hard to think of and I asked the question. So I'm just going to go with the number one moment from reliable news source, CNN. Their biggest moments of 2022 was the moment. Lizzo played. a centuries old flute.

Yikes. That's their... That was big for you, huh, Pat? It was huge. I mean, you know, as they wrote, she went into the Library of Congress, played a few notes on James Madison's rare crystal flute.

And I was just like, holy shit, and anything's possible, you know? Yeah, for sure. I could see that being really impactful to you. I did not know what Lizzo looked like until this very second. She's very, very popular. I will say that the...

I know her songs. I sung along to them in the car in secret. I just didn't know that's what she looked like. Well, she played a 200-year-old flute. That was my biggest moment. Yours were, like, actually grounded in... You know, I will say this. My number one moment, now that I think about it,

was when I saw the two wolves in the wild in Yellowstone. You talked about that. In the snow, big snowflakes. Oh, that was amazing. 400 yards from the vehicle. and just seeing them dart and one of them was white. It was just incredible.

It's like I'm one with the wolves. That was very memorable. For us, so I got a real, yeah, got a real kick in the, kick in the old nut sec. Uh-oh. Okay, so I can't talk about what it is, but I'm going to film a pilot outdoors.

Real quick, real quick, Peter, did you think he was going to announce publicly that he got the snip-snip? Did you think that's where he was going with that? I was hoping, I was hoping so, because we don't need any more little pets, running around. Got to get one more through.

Good luck. So going to film this sort of outdoor. It's a pilot, which I haven't done a pilot in years. Very good. Excited about it in a few weeks. Like five, six weeks, right? Cool. And I was excited because I was going to be going to a place I'd never been.

It was going to be going to the Ozarks. Very cool. Real wintery. You know how I am. You know, I love the winter. Love to be up in the forest and the mountains and the snow, doing some camping. Never been there. Yep.

Excited. Well, network decided to go with the other episode. Okay. So now I'll be trekking through and camping in the Everglades for a week. Yeah. You're going to die. You're dead. Python.

Just my least favorite place. It's beautiful and amazing. And there's so many creatures. and critters and crocs and alligators living in the same water and bull sharks. Oh, yeah. Are you going to be camping? Unforgiving. Oh, yeah.

At least for like three or four nights, yeah. Dude, I was just there. I remember I, did we talk about some pod, the sawfish that I got finally on my bucket list? I remember talking about a sawfish. I don't know why. I must have. I don't know if I just texted it to you guys or whatever. But anyway, I was just there literally for one night and I had forgotten how ruthless it was.

Like, every time we, we, You were road cruising, meaning driving around the Everglades looking for shit on the roads at night. And every time you stop and get out the car in December when it's like the coldest and least buggy that it gets and you're like, it's hot and buggy out here. Yeah. You're like out of the car for like 35 seconds at a time. I was looking. I was like, what's the weather? Maybe it won't be that.

But fucking average temperature is 80 during the day. In the beginning of February, I'm like, oh my God. The bugs are still going to be there. It's a place. I described it in the write-up as a place where the bugs and lizards have won. Yeah. Like, they've won. They have. Yeah.

Like, you'll just pick a bug. You'll feel something on your head. You're like, oh, no, I hope it's a lizard at this point because you can feel it's big. You pick it off, and it's an undescribed insect. Yeah. And you're so annoyed by it and creeped out. You just throw it. And you're like, I'm not taking the time.

Dude, the worst part for me, and I love going to the Everglades, by the way. Like, if I didn't live in California, I'd probably live in Florida, which, is a hell of a statement. But it, the no-seeums, dude, these little fucking things that you cannot see that drive you absolutely insane

while you're like standing outside. And it's like, it's like you're a crazy person. Like you're standing there and you're like, my skin is melting and I don't know what's wrong with me. And you can't see it's like you're a fucking crazy person. I'm seriously considering, I'm not even really being funny.

I am going to look into and maybe do a test run with an adult diaper. Because, because, dude, because honestly, you take your pants down to take a little sneaky pee,

you're getting two to three bites on your nether regions. Straight up. Guaranteed every time. And you're guzzling water because it's hot and humid. Yep. So you're peeing 15 times a day.

At the day, you got between 30 and 45 bites. Yeah, you do the math. That's a pecker full of bites right there. I'm, I would be pretty excited to see, like some behind the seat are you going to be able to get some behind the scenes of yourself out

there that we could pass along to the bruseners maybe there's just going to be me just questioning everything about my life decision can we send kyle with you to maybe get so just for like a day or two i'll try to get him on it then kyle to film the producer not to film the show just to film the producer just total backstage shit what they call it ep epi p k kid something like that you know i hired kyle to do that on the silliest thing i've ever ever been a part of. And basically it was two days. I was like, you have no direction, just film behind the scenes.

That's why you're here. Yeah. Yeah. Just going behind the scenes. And basically spent two days on set with Kyle just filming me with a camera. And I would just be like, stop, Kyle. Just go away. Take a break.

I'm not interesting. It's perfect. It's perfect. He already knows what to do. But that's miserable, dude. I would not survive the Everglades. And I'm wondering, like, I'm quite, are you on TRT? Like, have you been doing testosterone?

Pat, I've been meaning to ask you. Honestly. How did you pivot from? I'm excited about the Everglades. A normal, a normal dude, Pat's age, who's trying to have, you know,

who wants to have another kid, who's got a family, would not be doing this. They just wouldn't, unless they were shooting up steroids. Let me tell you, TRT lowers your sperm count, pal.

So I can't even consider it until after I, like I said, get another one through it, some indetermined point. I'm not above it. I mean, Joe Rogan really sold me on it. He makes it sound great.

He really does. He's like, I remember listening to one of his podcasts where he literally goes, every man over 40 should be doing this. And you're like, yeah, all right. Well, I'm nearly 40. Not to steal his joke, this is a Joe Rogan. He said, I'm paraphrasing, but he said something. He's like, you know if like you go to a nice resort and you go to the pool,

he's like, there's like some guy who's 60 and he's like sitting there eating a BLT off his stomach. And, like, you know, dipping a fucking ketchup in his belly button and his fries and he just looks like shit and he's falling asleep. He's like, then you look over and there's like a strapping 60 year old with like his beautiful wife throwing her around in the pool. He's like, that guy's on TRT. I'm like, that sounds great. I want to be that guy. I want to be that guy right now. That is the, God damn it.

At 40. Yeah. I mean, dude, I am, I really, I've had 39 hard years. And these last two have really damaged me. And I look at Pat and he's like lost all the dad weight and shit. And I'm like, I just turned to my wife there, Dan. I'm like, you know what? I think Pat's, Pat's juicing.

No, man. I was like, there's no way. He lost all this weight. He's like in good shape. I'm like, I'm lucky to get four hours of sleep every night. I actually, I think I actually do have a theory. I'll tell you it. That is interesting.

I haven't said this out loud. I was telling my nephew, though. So I ate like dog shit. I ate like shit for like. 10 days over the holidays, man. Stuffing carbs in my mouth, drinking beers. Oh, yum. So good.

But I weighed in and I'm still like under 170. And I was 190 for a long time. Part of it was, you know, being fat because I had a kid and stuff. You know what I stopped doing? What? I stopped creatine. And it directly coincided with just nothing really else has changed, except I'm just walking around like 25 pounds lighter.

And I'm like, I wonder if it's because I'd just been steadily on creatine the whole time. Oh, interesting. Well, what is the creatine? So what effects did you lose that were benefits of the creatine since you stopped doing it? Like, is it just a total win? Like, definitely like a little less strong. I mean, when you lose 25 pounds, you know, 10 or 15, you know, probably 15 or something or muscle, whatever.

But it feels good to be lighter and just joints are better, backs better. Are you on the, are you like a creatine guy for us? Me? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. No, so I go through spurts of it. Like, if I'm lifting heavily, I'm taking five milligrams of creatine every day in my protein shake, which I am right now.

I only started literally the day before Christmas because I finally have a stint at home for like two months. So I was like, all right, I'm going to lift six days a week, creatine, healthy food, blah, blah, minus two days. So I've been really disciplined except for on Christmas and on New Year's Eve. Of course. But yeah, no, but otherwise I've always loved, I definitely feel the positive effects of creatine being like quicker recovery time, a little bit stronger, that one extra, you know, lift or whatever it happens to do. But what if I take it and the only thing I'm lifting is my baby? You'll balloon up.

You will get big fat. Don't do that. All right, real quick, back to the Everglades. Pat, are you bringing any weapons? I haven't got that far. I just found this news out. So, machete at least, right? I was all excited.

I was excited for my winter gear. Now I don't even know what to wear bug nets. You're going to bring a bug net. I'll bring my bucknice. You want to know a little trick? This is for all the brosters to ever visit Florida. Skin so soft. Okay?

Huh? Yeah. It's a lotion of something? It's a lotion called skin so soft. And I don't know what is in it, but it's the only thing that noceums will not go through. Any repel, any bug spray, any anything made for noceums does not work a fucking dime. But skin so soft for baby's bottoms all over your body, no noceums, guaranteed. That's fascinating.

They just something about the fragrance that they can't stand. I don't know if it's just a layer of grime that they can't get through. I don't know. But I don't care because there is nothing worse than being attacked by nocems. That's a valuable tip. Listen to this podcast for more. I got to say, though, like, there's something called a gladesman, right? Yeah, yeah.

About someone who's lived in the Everglades, they're in the out, they're doing it. I mean, they're calling it the Outback, but, you know, they're trudging. The American Outback. Yeah, chest deep through swamps and mangroves and brackish water. It's a fucking fascinating confluence. Like, you were truly walking through water. Yeah. That houses alligators, crocs, and bull sharks.

Cotton mouths. It's essentially Australia. Yeah. I have a great buddy there, Pete. If you're, I mean, you know Chris Gillette and we have some other mutual buddies, but if you're looking for just a young go-getter kid who can be an awesome guy that really gets it and is tough as nails, this kid Pete, he's like 22 years old. He's like fucking six foot two super handsome, like really. I hate him. I know. It's so off-putting. Yeah. I'm sure he's got a beautiful penis as well. That's the problem. It's like really funny how nice he is. Flawless. Yeah, flawless human being. And just like a real.

real sweetheart though, but he is, he's not a gladesman. I think he's from the Midwest, but he's been in the glades for like eight or ten years, and he's really, really knowledgeable. He's a biologist. Um, so if you need like a guide or anything, I'll definitely say. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, definitely might. I mean, yeah. And for anyone who's listening, who's just like, why are they talking about this? It really is a fascinating place. Like, if you're into the outdoors and, and just putting yourself through hell in the name of seeing some cool shit, like, it's hard to believe it's in America. It's as close to the Amazon as you can get.

It's, it's, it's, it is the Amazon now because all the species that live in it are from South America. It's fucking, there's anacondas and sicklids and armored catfish and it's just crazy. I mean, you see more invasive species than you do native species going through it. It's absolutely wild. While we're on the topic, forest, I don't know if I've ever asked you this on the podcast. What would you say is the harshest terrain that you've ever trekked? through.

Ooh. That I've ever crushed through. It only took a 110 podcast to get to the most obvious question of all time. I mean, I think the desert, like being in the heart, desert in the summertime is the harshest.

Death Valley, going to Baja. I've been to Baja in July and August a few times. I don't think I would survive six hours out of the car. Right. Without being around water, air conditioning, you know, whatever, the ocean. If you're in the ocean, it's fine.

But if you go to like, If you're in central Baja, like, I mean, I don't mean like the center of the peninsula, but like not on the coast and your car breaks down and you don't have any water, there's nothing. I don't care who you are. I don't care if you're less strout or bare grills. I don't care how much you piss in your own face. You are not surviving more than like 24 hours. It's just that heat and the sun. And it's just like it's so oppressive.

No hope for shade or relief. No, there's no trees. There's a few cactuses and a couple of rocks that are all like 100. 20 degrees, you can barely touch them. It's, yeah, I think that's the worst environment. Just for survival in that, and then we've talked about this before, like mangroves, trying to get through mangroves. Yeah, right.

Yeah. Terrible, which is the Everglades, by the way. Right. Yeah. The footage of you guys in Myanmar, yeah, trudging through those mangroves where like every three feet, describe what you're doing when you're going through that, that really deep mud. It's just like you're up to your,

you're like dick in mud, sometimes to your nipples. It's like you can't really move and then you have to like pull yourself up on these mangroves, which are covered in razor sharp barnacles and then sort of like seal over them like back into the mud. I mean, you saw the photo's head to toe. Like the only thing you're going like this is to get it out of your eyes. You're just head to toe in mud. And there's there's vipers and crates everywhere.

There's man eating crocodiles literally while we're there killing people. I mean, it's just like it. And you're just not getting anywhere. Like Mitch, like jumps off the boat day one, goes straight to like nipples deep and start screaming for help. So we have to like throw him a rope. And then like four people have to pull him out to where he then has to like belly slide on the mud to the bank.

I mean, it's just like everything, like every step is so taxing and difficult. Yeah, it was that environment. All in the name of a cable, one hour of cable television that they aired on Saturday morning. That's right. Yep. Yeah. Yep. Yep.

Yeah. It's so funny, I look back, look, when we talk Extincter Alive or Mysterious Creates, some of those shows I've done that have, like, big conservation impacts, I'm like, great. I wouldn't change a thing. But then I look back at certain other things that we've done, and I'm like, what was I thinking? Like, why? For a 40-minute animal planet show that was sandwiched between, like, dog groomers and, like, fake pet police, you know? Right.

And it's like, here I am literally, I mean, Patrick, you know, shitting myself to death on the floor of a desert in Madagascar in the name of a TV show. And in that particular sequence, as you know, Patrick, there wasn't actually looking for the hippo right then. It was to get the vistas and the area of stingy. And I'm literally like dying, like actually physically dying. With no possibility for help if you actually do start naturally dying. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. All in the name of a 40-minute animal planet show that nine people watched.

Yeah, sandwich between dog makeovers and, yeah, I mean, it's just fucking crazy. Peter, what's the roughest, was it that you've been in? Was it when you flipped your car over in East Chicago or South Chicago? Like the roughest situation I've been in? The roughest terrain. Yeah, I mean, let me think. Listen, man, I've been in a lot of rough terrain. I was a kid who liked to play in creeks when I was younger.

I was roll around in poison ivy in woods, man. And then, yeah, I ended up on like the east side of Chicago one night. I was at a bar. And I was literally on the brink of blackout drunk with my girlfriend, my brother, and a couple friends. And some kids, and I've told this story before, but it's still funny. So some guys in a taxi cab, a yellow taxi cab, if anyone remembers what those are. Sure do. drove past us and just went dorks as they drove past.

And I... And I... And of course I was blackout drunk and I'm just like, fuck you! Stop the car! Stop the fucking car! Stopps the car. And the last thing I remember is like two, three, maybe four, like large, bald

Eastern European men. I'm talking like straight off the boat, Ukrainian, Russian. I don't want to mess with those guys. Hop out of this car. And I just go up and I remember like getting into position. And I like all I remember is swinging. We probably looked like the Notre Dame logo. And all I remember is just coming to on the street.

Girlfriend was crying. I had a big footprint on my stomach. Terrible. At least she was still there. Yeah. So yeah. East side Chicago. I mean,

I mean, not worse than the desert, dude, or Madagascar. Yes. It is. Humans are terrible. Humans are terrible. We're awful. Humans are terrible.

Patrick, what's yours? Terrain? Man, that's a tough question. I'll tell you what was surprisingly awful and grueling was hiking through the tundra. Yeah. Now, I've heard the term tundra. It's pronounced tundra. Tundra.

That's right. Zebra. But I assumed tundra was just sort of like, being in the Arctic in a big field. Right. But it's this, it's basically sod, like grass, that has glacial water running underneath it, and it like soaks up and puffs it up. And it feels like you're walking across a field of pillows.

Yeah, the bog. And yeah, so there's some times in Greenland where we had like 10 or, like, I think we had a 13-mile hike one day and, you know, all your shit on your back. And it is exhausting. I mean, it's harder than walking through sand. Yeah. Yeah. And so that and mosquito and just ruthless. And the mosquito is a ruthless in Greenland, right?

They lay their eggs in the tundra. They remain frozen, and then they wait for something to walk over them in the summer. Right? So they're waiting for some sort of mammal. So herd of muscocks, reindeer, whatever it is. They're waiting for something to walk over them, and that's when they hatch and come out. So you're basically just creating a, black cloud of mosquitoes as you hike through this, you know, this fucking 13 miles of walking

across pillows. Just waiting to get ambushed by fucking malaria carrying mosquitoes. Luckily there's no malaria up there, but they, uh, they're ruthless and they bite. That's a nightmare. So guys, can I go ahead. I was going to change. I was going to change the direction here. Are you up for that?

Change it. Change it out. Me too. Yeah. All right. Well, I'll try, I'll try mine. We talked about. what incredible shape

the Spiceman is in what a mobulus shape you are up your shirt mate Peter um no what are and so this this made me question this

what are your resolutions for this year 2023 what are we looking at guys what are we doing it doesn't have to be a big epiphany just like what do you what are we going to do I have one I have I have one get my fucking fruit picker back

if it kills me now um No, this is real. You know, as you get older kids who are listening to this, you really start to kind of become obsessed with your own life and you stop answering people's texts and calls just because you're lazy. And you let it just slide away. You know, oh, I'll text back tomorrow and then you don't.

You're like, ah, well, they won't care. But people care. And then they stop hitting you up and you have no friends by the time you're 40. So my, and it's really hard once you have the kid too because it's just like, like, this motherfucker thinks I got all day to answer a text. It's weird because Forrest is very prompt and he has a kid. No. Well, he's, he also, I mean, he does whatever he wants.

He cheats on his wife. He beats his kid. Like, it's not a big deal. I have a drug and alcohol problem. These are things like choose. So my. So it's simple. My resolution is to promptly get back to people who call her text.

That's it. Simple. No, that's really good. And it was insightful the way you did it. I agree with you. You become so bad about it that you lose friends. Literally. And it feels like shit.

You think you won't care. Yeah, you think you won't care. And you think that the other person doesn't care, but they do. You know what I mean? Like you said, you're like, ah, man, like, whatever. Like, you've texted me twice or a day. I'm going to text you next week. And then you're like, ah, they, everybody cares in this situation, including me.

I feel like a jerk. Right. That's a good one. It's a good one. I'll tell you mine. I want to, I'm going to try and quit nicotine. Oh, okay. Good for you.

You're going to be fun to be around for a bit. I think just generally, uh, taper. I love it. Yeah. It's great. It's fun. It gives you something to do when you're writing or working, whatever. Yeah.

I'm just like, it can't be helping me. Right. It can't be improving my life. Listen, I don't, yeah. I don't think it's that bad for you as long as you're ingesting it in, in like a healthy way. Yeah, I don't do, I don't use any tobacco products, but, you know, nicotine gum. I think you should stick to it, mate. This makes it smarter and sharper.

I think I'm just going to just try and fucking kick it and just have one less vice. There you go. I won't support it for you. I support both of your. What is mine? I think, and this is so, like, basic, I'm going to try and eat healthier. like for me and for the planet because I do I work out like a fucking Trojan as Patrick knows when we go on shoots and I use that as a justification to eat whatever I feel like all the

time. Oh yeah. And I'm like oh no I grind I grind it out super hard an hour and a half today. Good for you Peter. And I'm you know now I'm going to have three beers and eat a pizza for dinner. And that is that that's not that that was fine when I was 26 by the way. That's not fine at 36. Yeah. So I think that's my move. It's the best part of having it be like when you kind of make your New Year's resolution and it's like right around Christmas and you're like, okay, I'm going to give all this shit up. Yeah. So I'm going to do fucking three, four times as much for the next week.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Be as bad as you can challenge. Yeah. Be it just the most disgusting version of yourself. I'll just add to that.

You know, when you get older and it just happens like one year, you know, you, you, you, you, you, put on that weight over Christmas, it ain't coming off easy. Like, it's taking a half a year and get rid of it. And you're just like, what the fuck? I was always able to just lose weight immediately. It's like, nope, you got to fucking work your ass off and not eat. Like, I'm talking, you, you can't just eat like normally like you did either. It's like, you got to be having a fucking salad for lunch every day in the week.

And like, it just, it's, you've got to, as you get older, you got to do these things. Reach out to your friends. eat a salad. Remove one shell if they give you two on a taco. Just do it. You mean that Taco Bell specifically, the thing you get? That's the hard on the stuff. I got, I did have a little Reddit rundown if you guys are into it.

Very into it. Yeah, fuck you. Very into it. A little Reddit rundown. Oh, and then you reminded me because of social media, I got to read, I got to read a tweet I got today after your Reddit rundown. I hope it's a mean tweet. It is, actually, but I will pull it up while you do your Reddit rundown, so I'm ready. Oh, excuse me.

These fat tires are really bubbling up. Yeah, when was the last time you slogged three in less than an hour? I think he's on four. You know, I told the wife that a podcast is being recorded at eight. This is like a real treat because I'm going to have 20 minutes alone after this. Nice. All right. All right.

Sorry. So, Reddit rundown here we go ahead. You know, this is a little fun things. As I go through my week looking at Reddit. I come across things. And you guys know what this. is. I do.

It's been used in the Battle Royale many times. I'd never actually seen one of these. I just used it because I knew what its powers were. The Harpy Eagle, huge majestic bird of prey from South America. They can grow to the height of an average human, and they pluck monkeys from trees. I'm going to tell you, the one on the right, that's a little kid inside a bird costume. Dude, it's the craziest. It's the craziest fucking thing I've ever seen the one on the right, bro.

It's insane, dude. Are you kidding me with this fucking thing? So, yeah, that's there. The next thing I read, it was pretty interesting. There's butterflies and maws that appear on their wings. It shows a picture of snakes so that they defend against predators. And I was like, oh, yeah, okay, whatever. Well, are you fucking kidding me?

That's insane. Look at this. That's bananas. That's like two snakes that are going to fucking eat your head. All right. I've never seen it. That's real? That's real, bro.

Yeah. Forestin, can you shut any insight on this? No, it's called biomimicry. It's when an animal adapts to mimic something else to ward off predators or, you know, which is different from when an animal like a poison dark frog gets colors. Biomimicry means they're mimicking something else, right? And you see it a lot. You see the Monocle Cobra with the eye on the back of its head,

so things don't bite it in the back of the head. The butterflies with patterns stick insects. The list goes on and on and on. It is really, really cool. And that particular angle of that butterfly makes it, you know, really stand out. So that's, by the way, for anyone who's only listening, when you get home, treat yourself Google Atlas Moth. There you go.

That is what that's called. It is unbelievable. Unbelievable. Bonkers. All right. So, you know, just scroll and Reddit. Come along. Come along a picture of this, okay?

This is from the movie Alien, right? It's obviously the little alien that's in the mouth. It's a screenshot, yeah. This is, what is this for us? A ringed Cicillin? Cicillian. It's not only is it fucking scary as shit looking, but it might be the world's only known venomous amphibian. Correct.

I really want to keep one, by the way. They're gnarly, gnarly. By the way, in the Everglades, Patrick, of course. Oh, good. Yeah, they have some billions. Yeah, they're big amphibians that are sort of, man, this is hard to explain. If you took a legless lizard and turned it into an amphibian,

this is what you'd get. Big, crazy teeth, super voracious predators, basically no eyes, no anything, just the snakeish wet body. I mean, those teeth are. horrific. Look how they curl back. Those are just, has a human ever been bitten by one of these? Oh, yeah, for sure. They're pretty nasty. Chris Gillette, if you see him when you go to Florida, to ask him about it, he's got a pretty good story. There's a handful of species of Sicilians,

by the way. There's not just one kind of them. And it does vary in toxicity and other things. But yeah, no, they're crazy. And they live in the everblades. Don't click off. I won't ever. Forrest, go up and read from the top left towards the center in that red bar. What did you do? What horrible thing did you say to someone? It says, so Peter's showing on his screen sharing. It says your account has permanently been suspended from Reddit. Click here for more info.

What did you do? Okay. So, well, I mean, I'm not not. not proud of this, but there was a guy in the gym. I think I might have talked about this in the gym bathroom and he was sitting with his disgusting bare ass on the bench where like I sit stuff down

when I get ready. No towel, no towel. No towel. And so I took a picture from behind. Guys in the face isn't in it or anything. And I put it on our trashy. Okay. They banned all six of my current accounts. And now anytime I try to create an account, it's immediately banned.

Like, I don't know if they know my Mac address on my computer, my phone, but I cannot. Yeah, I can't create an account. But on that note, check this out. Big-headed turtle is, I came across this thing and, you know. I've seen one in person. It's got, it's got, it's so big. That's a Super Mario character. Can't even pull its head into the shell.

Chinese species, the Chinese big-headed turtle. They have them at the Turtle Conservancy in Oh, hi, by the way, which is where I've got to do them. Oh, my God. A dream species for me to keep. You guys know I have a bunch of different freshwater turtles. I would love to have one of these guys. Look at it. What advantage is having such a large head give them if they can't even get it inside that shell?

Well, one, they crush mollists and things with it with that big jaw. but two, it's a sexual selection device. So it's the males that involve these big heads. Just like a peacock's tail, it's something the females look at and be like, hey, you got a big head. Yeah. You can't even wear a hat. That's right. Dude, that's incredible.

This is the best Reddit rundown you've ever done. It's really good. It's been a while. So I've collected a whole bunch. I picked out the top ones. And finally, the last thing that I'm going to play for you, I'm just going to try not to read the title. I don't even know if it's in the title, but I'm going to show you a little bit, a clip of a video.

Okay. Oh, I guess it will tell you right there. It's okay. Parachuting beavers from the 1950s. There's a whole news article. This was newly found footage. They threw these beavers out and let them parachute to repopulate an area to fucking repopulate this area with these fucking beavers. Are you kidding me? I just, I lived in the wrong error. I really did. Because if I was a line,

in doing my job in the 1950s, I'd be like, hmm, all right, we got to get beavers back into this lake region. Parachutes? Yeah, that's how we're going to do it. Well, we could land them with choppers. No, no, no, no, no. We could hike them at? No, no, no, no. I already said the word parachute. Yeah, yeah.

And like, that was conservation back then. It was just like, hey, you literally, in the last, like, 40 years is where it's become this whole, like, hoity, tooty, ridiculous, like, there's all these protocols and shit that actually don't make any fucking difference. And I can go on a rant about this, because we've been doing conservation for a couple hundred years

and we're still losing the fucking battle. But three to 40 years ago, like you could just fucking come up with it. It was like, hey, we're going to put beavers in because it's going to fix it. It's like, okay, great. How are we going to get them there? I don't know.

I'll get like a crop dusting plane and build a parachute out of my bed sheet. Broome out the fucking plane. Boom, we got beavers. So this was in Idaho. They did this to repopulate a remote wilderness area with beavers because obviously the beaver trade during like the Lewis and Clark era

You know, the beaver peltz were like all the rage, right? Yep. Yeah. So they wiped them out. Super warm, super soft, all the good stuff. So they dropped them out of parachutes in these little plywood boxes. And then there's just a parachute and a plywood box sitting there. Right.

Yeah. So do you think they sent someone around to pick up that parachute in the box? Absolutely not. There's no way. Because I was going to say, if so, why not just have that guy? release the beaver when he goes there. Yeah, no. They were just like, yeah, that'll be good.

That's conservation in the 50s, baby. That's why I want to be there. Release the beaver. Yeah, they're like, the beaver will eat the wood from the crate and maybe make a bed sheet out of the parachute. Listen, I mean, you know, it's brilliant. I love it. Beaver are amazing creatures.

I love beaver so much. It makes me so happy that they're repopulating the area with beaver. And I hope everybody gets their fair. Let's see you get charged by one. All right. I got two things. I got two things. First of all,

I got a mean tweet. You want to hear it? This came in at 2.35 p.m. today. From Thomas Quinn, Quinn 999 Thomas. At Forest Galante. I hate you. I have been binging extinct or alive in the wild times for two weeks.

I can't watch anything else. That's it. That's the whole suite. It's beautiful. It's a very nice tweet. Very well composed. It's really nice. It's really nice.

when you read it aloud because it starts with I hate you that's right it's all it's all in delivery all right yeah you guys know what time it is I think I know what time oh no oh no kill me yeah yeah good for you I love that mouth noise you just did all right so I was impressive I thought of this when we were looking at the at the at the big headed turtle there it's a battle roy I don't think we've ever done okay football season is a it not? It sure is. They say a good defense is the best offense. Don't agree with that, but they say it. So we are going to go snake draft. We are going to build the ultimate defensive animal. Snake draft, it's not about attacking. It's about being indestructible and having the most

ultimate defense. Give it whatever armor, whatever weaponry, whatever you like to just be the biggest tank of an animal. Is this, okay, so like head, body legs got me? Body legs. Standard battle royale rules. Got it. All right. Forrest, you go first. Okay.

I shall. Wait, special power, too? No, head body legs. Head body legs. Head body legs. Okay. Okay. Okay.

And this can be, I would say this could be anything from anywhere at any time, which is pretty, not dinosaurs, because they're all just tanks. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I am going to start with the body of a one-horned rhino. Oh, boy. Yeah. That's a tank.

It's nice. And remember, everything scales to the size of the body. Remember that. That's right. Okay. I know what I'm going to go with here, so I'm just going to go for it. I'm also choosing my body, my midsection, my torso, if you will. We've talked about it recently on the podcast.

It's never been used in a battle royale. I'm taking the body of a gar. Oh, wow. I like that. Real yoked. See, he is on TRT. I knew it. Absolutely yoked.

It looks like me. It is just. There's no, nothing could ever run through this thing. It does look that way. Yeah. That is the perfect lineman. All right. I mean, you guys are both taking this in a manner where you're going to be, you know,

you're essentially planning on being attacked head on by another large animal. See, I'm going to be a little bit more evasive than that. So I'm going to start off with a body and therefore the special ability also fuck off of a mimic. octopus. That's right. A mimic octopus. They change their color shape movements and actions to mimic a predator that wouldn't get bothered.

It's the ultimate form of disguise. And it can mimic upwards of 10 predators, including both of what you said. Won't it be hard, though, because it'll be wearing a jersey. Why would it be wearing a jersey? It's playing a football game. It's not playing in the fucking Greek Olympics.

Wait a minute. I didn't know we were playing a football game. It doesn't have to be. We're just going defensive here. You're good. You're good. I'm sorry. Listen, I was already Googling while you were explaining the game. Good pick. Good pick. All right. You're up for one more. Fuck off. All right, I'm up for one more. Yeah. So I'm going the head of a

rhinoceros. Fuck you. No, I already picked that. You can't do that. Hippo. Head of a hippo. I mean, that is an intimidating head. You stick that on the I don't even know about it. It still has the mimicability of the octopus as well. It transfers to the head. It's going to be a very small animal, though. I might just be able to jump right over it. But no, no, I'm, I'm not trying to attack you.

What are you talking about? I'm the one that is defending. I'm trying not to be attacked. It's true. Okay. I'm going to pick, because everything scales up. TRT's calm his brain.

To the size of the body, I'm going to pick the legs of a locust. Oh, wow. Strong leg muscles. Their leg muscle fibers are, 1,000 times stronger than that of a human's legs. Yep. To have superpowered legs.

Put that on a Gar's body. I don't even need a head. There you go. Okay. There you go. Nice. Okay. I'm up for two.

You up for two or three? Hold on. I got to write that down. All right. All right. So I have the body of an Indian one horned rhino. Basically a living tank. But in order to make it impenetrable from the ground up,

I'm going to put it on the scaled up. legs of a pangolin. You look at a pangolin. They got claws, big hind feet, super strong for digging. And of course, the scalage, just not letting you get through those legs. I don't care who you are. You're not running through them. And finally, to round out my incredible critter, I'm going to give it the head of an alligator

snapping turtle. Just a big, armored head. Nothing but beak. I mean, this thing is... Nothing but beak. Yeah, no, this thing's a beast. That's a beast. All right.

I'm going to go with my head. I have a gar body, unbelievably strong legs, a thousand times stronger than a humans. I'm going to just give it a scary head. I'm just going for, even if we're playing football, it's wearing a helmet, you can still see into the helmet. I'm going to give it the head of a lamprey. Wow. You look at that thing's mouth.

I mean, it is from out of space. Also, scaling up, that's like, I mean, that's like lamprey mouth like, like this coming out. Yeah, yeah, that's terrible. That's terrible. Yeah. All right. So I've got the. boday of a mimic octopus. I've got the head

of a hippopotamus. And my creature shall not have legs or arms because it will have the wings of a harpy eagle and will easily be able to fly over the top of you guys and score a touchdown on offense or defend against being attacked from you. It doesn't matter. It does not matter. How do you not get how the game works still? It's never heard. It's unbelievable. Herpes.

Herpes Eagle. All right, to recap, Broasters, if you're listening, weigh in. Tell us what your... Winner, Arpice. Oh, my God, you're sweaty. Tell us what if you're a battle royal, defensive critter would be. Peters is the body... Good luck building these, Dave's undone.

The body of a mimic octopus with sporting a hippo's head and a harpy eagle's wings. Okay? Yeah, give a vote for Peter, if you think. think that's win in some defense contests. I, however, have the body of an Indian one horde rhino, which is sporting the legs and claws of a pangolin and the head

of an alligator snapping turtle. Come at me, bitch. Finally, to round us out, Papa P, the producer himself, has the body of agar, the incredibly powerful scaled up legs of a locust,

and just a black hole of despair, the head of a MFrey stuck on this thing. You just channeled BTG for a minute. With what? With the black hole of despair? That's like such a BTG thing to say. I like it.

Can we get him on a goddamn podcast already? He's waiting to be invited, boy. We need to. Hey, this has been a lot of fun. It's been good. Happy to the public pod. If you'd like to see more of this bullshit, sorry, I've had a few beers.

I need to calm down real quick. Go to wild times. Dot club forward slash info. for all of the links. Go to patreon.com forward slash wild times pod to check out the Patreon where you get four that's four count of four

extra episodes a month of this wonderful podcast. That's a lot of content. It takes a long time to do it. I'm going to sign up for that. It's good. You should. You should sign up for it. And yeah, I mean, you know, wildtimes duck club. Love you guys.

If you made it this far, because I'm convinced everybody tunes out, just just put a nice comment, just say, hey, Peter's neighbor, F you. Don't write it out. Just write FU or YouTube will ban you. That's a good point. Yeah. That's good point.

Yeah, we don't want anyone getting banned. Yeah, F letters, F followed by letters you. Peter's neighbor, FU. Yeah, Google's algorithms will not be able to figure that out. Good night, everybody. Black hole of despair. Yeah. T-shirt.

All right, have a great night, everybody. All right, guys. Is it good? Later. Later. Doodles. Bye.