Wild Times: Wildlife Education - What Animal Do You Want To Hunt You? - The Wild Times Ep. 110

Episode Date: January 23, 2023

Some animals actively hunt people. The Wild Times crew discuss the recent polar bear attack on a mother and her child, which animal would you would want to hunt you, and which animals could Americans beat up in a fight. Visit https://thewildtimespodcast.com/ now!  Get your Wild Times Podcast merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch   Leave a review on iTunes Apple Podcast: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/itune...   Get Up To 4 Bonus Podcasts Per Month ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod  Subscribe to The Wild Times Podcast on YouTube ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod  Watch More Episodes Here ▶▶ https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLP...   Follow The Wild Times Podcast on socials:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wildtimespod/   TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespod   Twitter: https://twitter.com/WildTimesPod  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/   Listen to The Wild Times Podcast on:  Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cbFBzf...  Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...  Google: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0...  Anchor.fm: https://anchor.fm/wildtimespod/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod   Enjoy, brosteners!   TWT 110 - The Breakdown   00:00 - Intro  02:59 - Woman & Baby Attacked by Polar Bear  08:51 - Which Animals Hunt Humans?  14:56 - Can You Beat These Animals In A Fight?  24:40 - Rat Problems 30:10 - Forrest on JRE  34:50 - Animal De-Extinction  37:10 - AI is Next Level  41:35 - Clouded Leopard Escaped in Dallas  45:25 - Top 3 & DFL  54:30 - Battle Royale  1:05:35 - Outro   https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-tire/   #podcast #wildtimespod

You got a bear in your backyard. Oh, dude. Okay, we're getting so dog-legged. The bear was fighting a mountain lion outside my fence two nights ago. Wild Times. Yes. Woo! Wild Times.

Here we go. Welcome to the Wild Times podcast. The podcast. The Wild Times podcast. The greatest podcast in the world. I'm your host, Forrest Galante, the broologist, joining me as always. the wonderful, the ever-effervescent professor.

It was me. I'm here. How are you? I'm great. It's Sunday. Got a fat tire here. They sent us a bunch of beer since, you know, we're friends with them now. And I'm very happy.

I'm already on my third one. It is 2 p.m. Evidence. I am a jealous. Yeah. And, of course, once always, we have the producer. What's up, Papa P? Hey, man. I'm alone with my kid this whole week, so I could use a few of these fat tires.

They're going down easy, delicious. And excited, excited for this pod for us. It's responsible parenting. You know, that is responsible parenting. And I don't support that. You don't know what he's doing over there. He could be responsible, but probably not. Look, I think it's time that we let the brosters know, this is kind of a big deal for us.

Yeah. Right? Oh, yeah. I noticed you have a different can. Yeah, look, I got old fat, you got new fat. New fat, baby. It's all fat. I've heard the new fat is crisper, brighter, tastier,

which is hard to imagine because I'm a big fan of the OG fat tire. But. Yeah, I'll tell you what. The old fat tire wasn't like my go-to. Okay, it just wasn't because I'm a Budweiser guy. Yeah, you're a mud-heavy guy. Crisp and clean and you can drink more of them. The new Fat Tire recipe, they are our first sponsor.

only, is really fucking good. But there's a reason. And I think that's the thing. Yeah, important thing to talk about here for a second, not to harp on this stuff for too long. But it's not like we were like, hey, here at the Wild Times, we need a sponsor like, hey, Adidas, what's up? You guys, you guys are big on sweatshops, right? Hit us up. Right. No. In fact, quite the opposite. Fat tires donated nearly $20 million to environmental and climate causes, which is a ton of money. They're the first carbon neutral beer in the

in the entire country. You know, they're super innovative. They use all electric vehicles at their company. Like, these guys are on board. They are making big differences. They're making delicious beer. It's just such a natural thing. Also 100% of the packaging's recycled.

Like, yeah, they're very in line with what Forrest does and what we all like and care about here. So, yeah. Fucking Fentire's delicious, too. Well, for me, that's just, like, getting drunk. They're very in line with my enjoyment of getting drunk. So yeah. Save the planet.

Can we talk about the second elephant in the room? I have to get into this right away for us because you sent a text and I've been dying to talk about this. Okay. Uh-oh. Which, you know, look, people died. So I feel bad about this. But there's the first fatal polar bear attack in the U.S. Oh, God, yeah.

It's brutal. Polar bear. Yeah. Like you don't think about the fact that there's polar bears. Polar bears in the U.S. Yeah. I just want to point out that Patrick said polar bear, and then he said, polar bear, because he wants you all to know how significant this is, which it is, by the way.

No, look, so there's this little town. It's, I don't even remember where, but, and there's this like little metal walkway. In fact, Kyle, if you can pull up the picture, it'd be awesome. There's this little metal walkway, and it's in Wales, Alaska. I just remember the name of it because it's Wales. And I think it was a teacher, right? a teacher and a student were walking down the walkway in a very low visibility environment.

I don't know if it was a blizzard or what was going on. There's a blizzard going on. Yeah. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, there's a polar bear right on top of them. Dude, stuff of horror movies and nightmares. Like, a polar bear just is right in front of you. You had no idea because three feet,

you couldn't see three feet in front of you. And you just get snatched. It's like the movie The Mist or something. It's fucking insanity in the U.S. And it's a tiny town, right? You saw the walkway there, if you're watching this on YouTube. It's a tiny town, right? And they were at a schoolyard.

This wasn't like, you know, it wasn't like somebody was... Yeah, it wasn't like somebody who's like out walking their dog in the wilderness at two in the morning. Like, they were going to and from class with a teacher. Polar Bear came out of nowhere in a blizzard. They rang a bell, I believe, because it's such a small and isolated town. They don't have like a police force or a response unit. Correct. There was like a bell that rang and some guy ran out with a gun and shot the bear.

Rightfully so in this case, right? Like, what else do you do? Because otherwise the bear enters into the school potentially. And yeah, it's just horrific. Yeah, they locked down the school. They pulled all the blinds. But it's just, you know, obviously people got killed. That's terrible.

But the fact that it's the first documented polar bear attack, here's a question for you. Yeah. You think it's actually the first fatal polar bear attack in the U.S.? Or you think there's many, many dozens of, yeah. Absolutely not. Now, I would go out on a limb and say it's probably the first recorded fatal polar bear attack in Western modern times, right? But the Inuits that lived up there long before the United States was colonized and all of that by the Western world, they would have been dealing with this constantly. And keep in mind, the world was colder back then.

You know, human beings came across that bearing land bridge. You know, there was a lot more polar bears back when there was more megafauna up there. There's no way this is the first human fatality in the United States by a polar bear. Absolutely. So in the last 20 years, there have been six fatal polar bear attacks in Canada. Mm-hmm. And one in Norway. Right.

So, you know, if you live around polar bears, there's, you know, what's the deal? Are they aggressive? Do they attack humans? Oh, absolutely. Why wouldn't they? They're one of three animals that actively seek to hunt human beings. Yeah, they have, like, why would they have any fear? I'm thinking like, you know, other animals, wolves and shit, they're afraid of a pack of humans, you know. They're predators, but they're not going to attack humans because it's a pain in the ass.

A polar bear, it's like catching a squirrel to catch even a group of humans, man. It's crazy. It's interesting to me the dynamic between. The less alpha apex predators you have, the more scary and violent they are. And let me explain myself, if you go to Africa, there's a ton of them, right? There's lions. There's leopards. There's hyenas.

There's a lot of predators, right? But on an individual scale, well, any of those would absolutely kill a human being, none of them are like, oh my God, if I'm walking to the classroom, a lion's going to kill me. Like a cheetah's going to get and grab me by the neck. then you move over to like the Asian continent right of or sorry then you move let's say move over to South America where you have a few you know you have you have Pumas and you have Jaguars and they're both slightly more gnarly I guess to humans than anything in that area of Africa like the likelihood of being killed by a Jaguar one-on-one or a walking scenario is much higher in my opinion than it is being

killed by a lion you know if if all metrics were the same same amount of people same amount of cats, everything else. Then you move over to like the subcontinent of India where really there's just leopards, which are quite a lot smaller, and then there's tigers. And again, your likelihood of being killed in that same,

in that same scenario where it's the same amount of people, same amount of animals goes up again. Like tigers are just, they're absolutely going to dominate you, right? Then you move over to North American continent and you really only have polar bears. Like there's really nothing else that high up on the food chain, right? Like you've just kept crawling up this food chain

where everything else sort of comes beneath it. And like the likelihood of surviving or not being killed by, it's like you just, the polar bears will eat you. There's no, there's no like maybe in that scenario, right? And it's just fascinating. Like,

I guess what I'm trying to say, and I'm going on a bit long on this, but like the more predators you have that sort of space out and compete with each other, the less immediately violent in a one-on-one scenario, it seems. But then the less you have and the higher up in the food chain where you get to a place like Alaska, where top, top tier is the polar bear

and nothing's competing with it. Like you're fucked as a human. Right. Well, you mentioned that there's three, you said one of three animals that are known to hunt people for food. What are the other two? So it's polar bears, crocodiles, and tigers are the three that are like,

now, don't be mistaken by this. This is not referring. You're not winning any of those. You have no chance in any of those. You're not winning any of them. But this is not animals that have killed humans or whatever. These are the three animals

that actively choose to hunt. human beings in their environments, which is kind of crazy to think about because as a human, you feel above the animal food chain, right? We're sitting here in our clothes, in our offices, whatever, and you're like, I'm sort of above all of that. But those three animals, like this polar bear attack, actually choose to seek out and eat human beings, which is crazy. Okay, real quick, one of those three is hunting you. You get to pick which one you think you would have the best chance. You're in its environment.

So here's a snarer. You're either you're you got your crampons on. You're filming something on a glacier in Greenland. Here comes a polar bear and it's got the taste for Forrest and Peter. Yep. You are in the Everglades and you're in Dick Deepwater trudging through and a crock has spotted you. and it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my food. Or you're in somewhere in a beautiful lush forest in India

and a tiger has spotted you from 50 yards away and decided that's my meal. Which one do you think you have the best shot at? Peter, you go first and then I'll give my answer. Or Patrick, too. I'm going with the, I'm going with, I would face the crock because I have more ways to escape. and, you know, a tiger can chase me in the water, even faster outside of the water.

I'm fucked with a tiger. I'm going crock all the way. I'm going crock only because I know the least about how it moves, and I know for a fact, there's no outrunning a tiger. I'm not climbing my way out of that. Right, no climbing. The polar bear on the ice, I mean, you know, you got, you're nothing. You're nothing.

That's no chance. I'm taking the crock just, I don't know, maybe. get lucky. It's unanimous. And I'll tell you why. My reasoning is slightly different. If a tiger is going to hunt you, you're not going to see it. It's like you're going to be walking, you're going to be looking in the woods, whatever, and then bam, you have maybe half a second to react. Okay. Yeah. If a polar bear is hunting you, you might see it from a slight distance, but by the time you've seen it, it's too late. It just is. Like their method of predation, their ability to move over the ice compared to yours. Like you said, it doesn't matter if you dive into the Arctic

water. It doesn't matter if you try to climb up a glacier. He's got you. Crocodiles, their method of hunting, while they are incredibly stealthy, you know, they'll see you from a distance and slowly, slowly, slowly approach you. They don't just like rock it over to you like these other animals. And because human beings are slightly more cognitive at picking out discrepancies in the wild than other animals, you have a higher probability, I would say, of noticing this crock. Because to an impala or something like that, it's like a log is slowly drifting in, right? And they don't even notice it. Or the eyes just pop up.

And they're like, oh, it's nothing. But to a human, you're like, that's a fucking crocodile, right? And you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, in the Everglades or whatever. Maybe he's coming underwater, but he's still going to come in slowly. He's not going to, like, rip into you, you know, like at full speed. So I'm hoping croc at people, I'm hoping. I think the right answer is crocodile because you might have a longer amount of time to react, in which case you just have to get up a tree.

There's nothing else you can do. Also, just think about this for a moment. Have you've seen a cat like catch a mouse or a cricket or a bird? Like you could, a human couldn't catch a bird if it tried for its dearest. Like you're the bird. You're the mouse. Not even. Right.

If you're talking about a tiger, dude. I mean, you're absolutely fucked. Yeah. Well, I was just so I was just Googling their topic. speed. So it says tiger can go between 30 and 40 miles per hour sprinting. Polarbert 25. Wow.

Now the fastest speed ever recorded by a human was Usain Bolt who ran at 27.5. So he might have a shot against the polar bear. I have a feeling the polar bear would catch you up. The question is is how long can a polar bear run for that? Like maybe it just

sprints up to that to that speed where you saying could probably go like a good 500-yard dash. Well, no. Isn't Hussein, isn't he a 100 meter runner? 100 meter? Yeah. 100 meter. So if it's at 101 meters.

He wasn't wearing crampons. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. God. What a terrifying ordeal, man.

It's unbelievable. So seven, so seven recorded polar bear deaths now that are on recorded history. No, no, no, no, way more than that. Just in the last 20 years. In the last 20 years. Sorry. Yeah. Six or five, six in Canada.

One in Norway. Six in Canada. But like there's a city in Greenland called Tasalak, which is on the eastern side of Greenland. It's like the only city in East Greenland, which is a beautiful. Kyle, pull up a picture of Taselac. And if you spell that wrong, you're in huge trouble. I put it in the chat. It's an amazing.

There's some amazing photos of Taslac. But they have polar bears come into the city and eat out of their dumpsters and shit. Wow. So they mingle. They co-mingle with the polar bears in Taslac. pretty frequently. Do, do, can polar bears, do they also have, can they smell for like a mile like brown bears do and shit?

I bet, dude. I'm sure they do. They do. I mean, I don't know the exact specifics, but they have incredible sense of smell. They're, you know, you're just, you're fucked. You're fucked. Any of them you're fucked. And if you're in a one-on-one, regardless, we all just painted this nice picture.

If you're stuck in a room with any of those three animals, like Kyle sent me the stat the other day, 8% of Americans believe they could beat a line. in a fight one-on-one. Amazing. That 8% of people need, like, that's like Darwin Awards. Like, they're gone. You're gone. If you think that, you're out, you're done.

Like, just give up, go sit in your couch, you're an idiot. Because there is not a single human being on the face of the planet that can beat a lion in a fight. Can you imagine trying to fight a lion, legit? Unbelievable. I can't believe 8% of people are like, yeah, I could take it. I could take a lion. Yeah. Yeah, it's, here, hang on.

Let me pull up. I've got the chart here, actually. All right, let's run through this. So you guys are, now that you know that information about the lion, I want you to guess what percentage of people in the U.S. think they could beat off an elephant in a fight. Could beat off an elephant or like beat it in a fight. Thank you.

Beat it in a fight. Peter, that took me until I started laughing to understand. I was like, get to the stupid question. man, it's got a big Hogan. It means the same thing. And then I was like, oh, no, it doesn't. Does not. The percentage.

I can't believe there's a chart of this for like multiple surveys in 2021. I think 93% of the population could beat off an elephant, but I think zero percent of the population could beat up an elephant. Who thinks they could beat up an elephant? How many Americans percentage wise? Percentage wise? I'm going to say 4%. Yeah, I mean, you got 8% with the lion. I mean, you've got to be just even dumber than the person that thinks they can beat up a lion.

I'm going 1% because the elephant in your mind is so big. 8% of Americans think they could beat an elephant. It's the same 8%. We'll go rapid fire here. Forrest, can any human beat an elephant in a fight? Literally not a same, not even chucking. Not even chucked. Bare hands.

8% lion. Also 8% think they could beat a fully grown gorilla. Oh my God. Wow. How about a crocodile? This is all the same. It's all the same. It's all the same people.

It's just the same. They surveyed a thousand people. This is the same. If you look at the statistics, if you look at the statistics of how many Americans do CrossFit, it's 8%. And that's that group right now. It's like, oh yeah, dude, I can fucking kettlebell swing. I got that line. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Crocodile? Yeah. Forrest, go. I'm going to go higher, 12%. I'm going 10, 10%. 9%.

I find this one funny. Wolf. 30%. 19%. 13% of Americans think they could beat a wolf in a fight. This one's kind of funny to me. Kangaroo. Oh, that's going to be a high number.

Yeah. All Aussies, like they fight kangaroos for sport out there. Yeah, we've all seen that video of the guy punching the kangaroo that had his dog. 24% of people think they could be a kangaroo. This is American, though, okay, I'm going to go a third, 33%. It's way, this is why it's weird. Only 14%.

So only, only one more percent think they could be to kangaroo than think they could beat a wolf. That makes zero sense. Like, I feel like you put like John Bones-Jones against a kangaroo. He might be able to win. Correct. There's like that one, I actually think that more than 14% of the population could be to kangaroo in a fight. Yeah.

I do. This is hilarious. Okay, chimpanzee. I'm just going to tell you 16%. Are there any humans that could be to chimpanzee in a fight? No, right? No way. No, they're super humans.

It's vicious. They go right for the genitals. Yeah. Dude, I saw a video of a fucking chimp that lifted this rock with one arm like this. It like reached down and using its shoulder, lifted this rock up to grab some insects or something. I don't know what it wanted under there.

And in the documentary I was watching, they said the rock weighed 330 pounds. Right. Oh, my God. No way. It's crazy. What percent think they could beat a pit bull in a fight? See, now here's where I think that gets interesting

because Americans have much more proximity to pit bulls. So they're like, oh, okay, I've seen this thing so I can analyze it as opposed to like, I could beat an elephant when they've never seen one. So I'm going to say that percentage is still staying low. I'm going to say 10% of people think they could beat a pit bull. See, I'm going to go because they, they've heard all the stories about, like, pit bull attacks and shit. I'm going to go, like, low. I'm going to say 2%. You have overestimated the intelligence

of our country. It's 24%. Oh my God. And wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, 24% of people think they can beat a pit bull. What was the number for Wolf? 13. By the way, by the way, in management, Imagine, picture this, pit bull gets the inner groin, like the inner thigh right up near your dick. I don't want to. Could you imagine? And that's like where they're going to go for it, like, or your neck. Let's get to some of the funnier ones. Yeah.

What percent of Americans think they could beat up a goose? A goose? All of them. A hundred. Yeah, 84%. Sixty-one. Whoa. The fact that there's 39% who think.

they can't. Dude, have you ever get in a fight with a goose? Because I have, and I can tell you the story.

I've been stalked by a goose. They're scary. I don't think you're getting out on skates. No way. No way. Dude,

I, so geese are fucking terrifying. I was at my buddy's house in the Northeast and there was like a farm next door

and there was just a bunch of nice white geese, right? And we're just, oh cool. Yeah. Elegant looking. I don't even remember.

But they, I think they were geese. But they weren't wild ones. They were like farm geese, right? And we're like hopping over the fence to see all the critters. And this goose winds me up from like 30 yards away and just goes. And it's just coming like full steam. Like literally, I'm like, this is me.

Like I dart lions. I stood my ground from elephants mock charging. I'm like, stop. Like nice and calm. I'm like, oh shit. Like, just like, turned and ran, dude. I'm not even joking. Dude, the, the, the impression you did of a goose is like, is spot on, man.

It's terrifying. We need a gif of that. Kyle, no. Little known fact about, little known facts about geese. They can run 30 miles per hour for a long time. They're super fast. Dude, that's crazy. Only two feet as well.

Two feet going 30 miles an hour. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, That's inhuman. Parified. By the way, here's a reason to go check out the Patreon if you like this. On the Patreon, we would actually pull up the four-minute compilation of people being chased and attacked by these and laugh at it and show you what it looks like. We can't do that on YouTube. Nope.

Last two. Yep. What percentage of Americans think they can beat a house cat in a fight? Oh. Wow. I mean, 74%. I'm going to go, I'm going to go, because. has everything's been weird 60%.

69. I mean, that means there's 31% of Americans that think they, a house cat could kill them in a fight till that. That's remarkable. I'm starting to wonder if the people in the survey don't actually know what an animal is. Like if they're like, house cat, house cat, house cat. You know, I'm not sure. I'm just going to throw out a statistic.

I've never heard of one of the, I don't know what this thing is. This is a survey of over 3,000 people last one. A rat. 100%. 100%. 100%. No, no, because there's always some dumb people. So 97%.

90. 72. More than a quarter of Americans would cower in fear if a rat was after them. Maybe they're afraid of like the plague or something. But what is the scenario? Like, excuse me, sir. It's nice to meet you. I'm doing a random survey.

you versus a rat, who wins in that fight? Now, I'm not talking about taking fear out of the equation. I just mean a physical confrontation. You and a quarter pound animal that has teeth the size of a staple. Who's going to win? Oh, that rat's got my number. Like, there's no way I'm walking out of that room. It almost validates the results because it's unbelievable.

Who are these people? Oh, my God. That's funny. Did they put controls in? Come on. Half of these people were drunk. It's a big sample size. I mean, yeah, they probably were.

Hey, if you like the wild times and you think we're fun, you know, you're getting information. We're getting a few laughs. Please check out the Patreon. There's a link somewhere right here. Four extra podcasts a month. That's four days. You get to drive to and from work and you won't even think about driving off the bridge. Not only we do not think about it, because these are four, this is our good stuff.

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Got a lot of cool stuff. That's fun. By the way, rats, so my cat killed a rat. I sent you a picture, didn't I? I don't think. Me or for us? I didn't get one. I can't remember. My cat killed its first rat.

We have these palm rats. so they're still rats, they're big. Yeah. Super long tails left it at the back doorstep. Fucking, you know, now I have to remove it, right? And I have to remove it in front of people because my wife's watching, our nanny's watching. So I, like, can't remove it the way I want, which is, like, very squeamishly. So I just, like, grabbed a paper towel and picked it up by the tail.

It was fucking disgusting, man. It, like, gave me shivers that, like, I think we have, like, an, innate squeebies of rats. I have to deal with dead rats very regularly, and they're always gross. Why is that? Your animals killing them or something? No, so Patrick's seen it. We have a rat problem by my barn.

So Santa Barbara in general has like, just like, I mean, certainly not an infestation, but there's like little areas where they're just way too many rats. Yeah. And they're not like gross, you know, L.A. City rats that like, like, I've never seen anything like walking through Skid Row and the rats there. It's unbelievable. But, you know, it's. like they're wild rats, but like at our barn where we keep the animal food, on any given

night, there's like 25 rats at the barn, which is preposterous. You know, it means that there's an imbalance because there's not enough predators for them. It's actually cool. In the last year, I don't mean the dog was like too much, we've had these owls move into our eucalyptus tree and the rats have plummeted. But up until then, we had these rat problems constantly. You got to get a camera out there, man. I want to watch these owls take out some rats. I have a camera where the bear's been coming in that's been sitting there for like two, two, three months that I haven't checked. You haven't checked it? Yeah. You got a fucking bear in your backyard. Oh, dude. Okay, we're getting so dog-legged. The bear was fighting a mountain lion outside my fence two nights ago.

What? Are you talking about? Where to God? I didn't see it. I didn't see it. But my mom went down around. She was watching over everything while I was out of town doing the Rogan and stuff. And my mom calls me and it's like, there's some crazy noise, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, we'll go and see. what it is and this is late at night. And so she goes out and she turns her face time on and shows me and I can't see anything because it's pitch black and it's nighttime, but you can hear exactly what it is and it's outside

of the fence, a chicken has been killed and the bear is growling and the mountain lion is growling and they're fighting each other. And I'm like, go back and get a light, go back and get a light. So he runs back gets a light, comes back out, shines it. And I still can't see it, but she sees it. And it's a bear and the mountain line like hissing and growling over a dead chicken outside of

our fence. Holy shit. Yeah. I don't know if that's wild. Like seen or recorded before. And you live in

Santa Barbara, right? Not in like fucking the Everglades or something. Yeah. God damn. But wait.

What were we talking about rats? All those owls killing rats at your barn. Oh, why I have to deal with them. Right. So before the owls moved in and killed all the rats, they would constantly like wind up

in the food bin and then die from dehydration or there's a little fish pond back there. Like one would drown in the fish pond. And, And so I was dealing with like dead rotting rats a lot. And they're really gross. And I'll tell you,

hands down the grossest rat scenario you can have. Yeah, that's right. You find a dead, like, festering rat because it's been dead for three days before you notice the smell or whatever, right? And you go to pick it up by the tail, and it's so rotten that the tail deep gloves. Ew, dude.

That's bad. And you get this bony, rotting tail flesh and you're holding the skin and it's it's a really grimish. Do your rats, Kyle, pull up the pick. Do your rats that you have in your yard look like this one? Negative. What? That's like a rat cune.

That was a rat that was killed in New York City that is three feet long from head to tail. Oh, my God. Look at the balls on that thing. It's way bigger than a house cat. Yeah. It's huge. Does it have, what's, that's not a, that's not a, a penis. What am I seeing there? That's its ball. Oh, oh, yeah. What is that? I see where the balls are.

Look in front of the hind legs. It looks like an erect penis. Dude, that could be the penis. Okay, I'm a wildlife expert. I'm positive. I don't know what rat penis looks like. I have to Google this quickly. But how funny is it that the guy went into work at Foot Locker thinking he was going to just sell some shoes? Clearly, that guy's wearing a foot locker uniform. Wow. Kyle, do me a favor. or soccer game. This is enjoyable and I don't think we'll get banned. Kyle, Google rat penis and pull up the first photo that's going to be very obvious that, yeah, you're going to know what I'm talking about.

It's the third photo over in the Google results. Nope, nope, nope, not that. One more over. One more over. There we go. Don't know what that is. But I Googled rat penis and that was the first thing you pop up. I think it's just a lovely young.

woman holding a rat on her lap and it looks like a penis. There's been, there's been so much dick talk in my life lately. Like, Rogan and I had like a 20 minute jaw about dicks and now this. Not to interrupt, but because I want you're all about Rogan. Look at bat penis, dude. Very clear. Nice testicles right there. What is this?

A subset of testicles. Anybody that is testes, but anybody that comes from Rogan to this, if this is their first pod, because Rogan was literally the last podcast I did. They're just going to think that all I talk about is dicks. Wait, I have not listened to the full, the full podcast. Did you guys- Yeah, how was it, man? It's on dicks? Give us the dirt.

I told the story about when Johnny got stung in the tip by the wasp. And so that turned into a whole penis talk. You know, then we talked about candirous going up your urethra. And it turned into like a whole penis thing. So we spent a good 20 minutes on dicks. Good. It's okay. 80 to 90%.

of our listeners are male. They'll be into it. Good? Question mark? How's the, so what's the like? You had done Rogan before. Now he's in Texas. This is your first time going to Austin to do it, right? First time ever

stepping foot in Austin. Great city. Had a ton of fun. I fished the morning before the podcast in downtown Austin. I was literally underneath the Google building on my buddy's boat catching bass. It was freaking rad. And then, yeah, rolled over to Rogan's new spot. It's

incredible, man. It's absolutely massive. It's like he's got this like industrial warehouse, you know, like Walmart super center-sized spot. Let's get off the penis talk now for us. On to something else. Oh, come on. Massive? Absolutely massive?

Somebody else. Carry on. Can you insert some cricket sounds there after Peter's joke? Kyle's laughing. Kyle's laughing. I can see him. And yeah, anyway, he's just got this awesome spot and he's built it out all to his specs, right? So he's got the studio and then like a kitchen and a workout area and a place with cars and his,

his trophies. And, uh, you know, we didn't spend a ton of time like walking around or anything, but it's just so cool, man. He's got such interesting, like art pieces from various guests, you know, like he's got a gold chimpanzee skull and like a meteorite. And then the P-22, like a giant photo with the only sign, you know, the iconic photo and just like all this cool stuff. And in his studio, he's done like, I don't know, I guess it's LEDs. like I think the whole ceiling is LEDs and every now and then there's like a shooting star that goes by. It's really fun.

It's really cool looking. Yeah. That sounds sweet. So we had a really good time. And he's just a fun guy to talk to, man. He's just like interested in a ton of stuff. He's had such a diverse knowledge. It's really enjoyable. It's third time I've done it. And I just like, I do not get, you know,

bored of talking to the guy. Like he's so interesting. Right. You talk about different shit. Sorry, go ahead, Peter. No, I was just going to say, I was happy to see the end of it. You just texted me. like wait till the end.

Yeah. And it was, they brought up our, our, Jamie brought up our YouTube. And so my face was on Rogan. And I'm, my brother was texting me, dude, did you ever think your face would be on Rogan's podcast? I know. And I was like, wow. Wow.

No, I didn't. Pat, yours too, by the way. Johnny, Johnny sent me a screenshot of what his brother texted him, which was 11 million people just heard somebody talk about your dick getting stung by a wasp. And he said it. A link to a YouTube short that somebody had pulled and had 11 million views on it. Really did Johnny know. I saw that moment because obviously you said it was at the end, so I scrolled right to the end.

But little did he know that when we went out dancing and clubbing in Miami and he wore his cargo shorts and he was doing whatever he was doing. And we just were hammered and we were like, look at his knees. He's all knees. And then two years later, you were going to go on Rogan and be like, yeah, this is good guy. Johnny, we call him boogie. He's all knees. And Joe was like, wait, what do you mean he's all knees? You're like, he's just got really big knees.

I had like no way to explain myself. I've just been calling of that and thinking of that for so long that it was just like a natural roll off the tongue. And then he's like, well, what do you mean? He's all knees. And I'm like, shit, I don't know. Like, he's just got a lot of knee. Yeah.

Like, if you had stopped down to tell the story, you're like, well, this one time he was dancing in my, like it would have just been crick. Terrible. He would have been like, okay. So I just had to try and move the conversation forward from that point. I just don't even know why I said, we call him boogie and he's all knees. I was like very embarrassed that I even brought that up. No, no, you know what you did? You said, you said, we call him boogie.

He's got big knees. And he goes, wait, what do you mean he's got big knees? And you're like, ah, he's just gangly. And he's all knees. And then Joe laughed. Oh, good. I don't remember. I haven't listened to it yet, but I'm glad he laughed and wasn't just like, that's weird.

Anything stick out to you as like a favorite moment while you were on? I mean, it's the same thing I said at the end of when we did our wrap up of 2022 about like what were the big moments. I'm just so enamored by this whole colossal the extinction thing, you know, the thylosey and the woolly mammoth. And like, I messaged Joe on it early before going on the show. And then halfway through the show like, you know, I'd sort of like we were just chatting away like we do on this. And I was like, dude, I got to talk to you about this thing. because I just like, I kind of believe it. And it's like, it's so cool to get his perspective on it

because he's certainly not a layman, right? He's very, very well educated or at least very well versed in a variety of topics from all of his podcast guests. So it was cool to hear somebody else, like, be like, well, is this good? Is this bad? Like, why does, how does this work? And I just think that was really fun for me to just,

I'm enamored by this thing, this extinction thing. Like, I can't believe it. Like, sometimes I just like, pinched myself. And I'm like, no, this is actually happening, which to me is insane. Yeah, listen, we fucked it up as humans and now we're going to try and bring it back, but we're probably going to fuck it up even more. Something will happen.

There's no question that there will be. Something's definitely going to happen. There's no question that there will be some unforeseen consequences. There always, always are. What those are could be massively impactful and good or it could be bad or, and I'm not talking about like the actual act of putting a mammoth in an environment. I'm talking about the fact that the science is going the way it's going, the world is changing. like, you know, we're not in its interest because I went to Colossil literally the next day.

And I was like, well, wait, can you like bring back a T-Rex? And they're like, no, after 600 million years, like that DNA is so far degraded, we can't make that. You know, it's like it's one thing to take a mammoth that's been gone for 10,000 years and put in and know that it has Indian elephants that are so closely related to it and fix those missing pieces with CRISPR. It's another thing to take super degraded DNA from 600 million years ago and try and build that back. And so, you know, I think back to the point being, what are those consequences? It's not like, I think people hear me talking about or whatever. And like, oh, it's Jurassic Park. Like, we're all fucked.

There's going to be dinosaurs. That's not happening, you know? It's like, it's a very slow, like, hey, we can bring back things that have really close living relatives that we fucked up recently that are going to help the environment. But like, that's just the tip of the iceberg. Like, what comes next? Dude. So as you were just talking about like CRISPR, okay, like having to correct the DNA that they get.

Yeah. Have you guys fucking seen what AI is doing these days? They just came out with some AI. I don't like it's hard. It's hard for me to determine whether I'm talking to an AI or not. And I'm thinking to myself, like, as you're saying that, well, in 20 years, they're going to have AI that's going to like think or be able to figure out like how to make the T-Rex DNA. And that's when we're really fucked, dude.

I watched a video of a guy. who he goes, all right, guys, today I'm going to show you how to make money doing nothing but using AI. And it's really amazing. He's like, I should have saved it or saying, because Peter, you'd be fascinated by it. He literally goes, all right, first thing I'm going to do is design a logo. So he goes to an AI and he puts in all these buzzwords and it designs a logo. It's like, next thing I'm going to do is printing. And so then he goes to like another AI and he goes, you know, this logo, hats, shirts, whatever. And it automatically does it with like super fresh like designs, cool colors, palettes, all this stuff.

that you're like, nice. You're like, wow, that's pretty rad. Then he's like, now I'm going to write copy for it. And he goes to another AI program. Yeah. And it automatically builds a website and, like, and auto fills like this really well written. Like, this brand is, it's perfect. It's perfect.

He's like, this brand is a marriage of this and this and this. And if you're feeling this style and this vibe and you're reading, you're like, fuck, I want one of those t-shirts. Also, you can't tell. You can't tell that it's not written by a human being. And then literally the last two steps is he publishes his, web store and then uses another AI to promote it. And he does the whole thing live in about 18 minutes. And a minute later, he gets his first sale. And he's like, all right. And this will just

continue and I'll start making income. And he literally didn't do anything. He invested zero dollars. Send this to me. ASAP. I'll see if I can find it. And he built a whole web store, a brand, a logo, an image, and hit publish and sat and waited. He'd obviously done it before because he knew what to do. Right. Of course. A minute later, he got a verified sale popped in and he's like, all right, and now I'm just printing money. I'm sure there are costs at a certain level or whatever. You know, he has to

pay for the shirt or whatever. But he literally did all this with like five AI apps and made money like that. This has like overnight the last few months, I would say, just like, I would be like, I'm like, oh yeah, like AI, this is going to be stupid. And now like I'm reading this shit.

And like, I can't tell people answer on Reddit questions. with the AI. And like I'm starting to get it, but it's very hard to tell. And I'm just saying, man, with this animal DNA, they're going to have AI that fills in the pieces for us within 10 years, man, and they're going to have that it. I know how crazy the people that used to say this are and I'm becoming one of those crazies. It's going to like at some point, right? Like the whole what was the Will Smith movie? Like I robot thing. I robot thing's going to happen, right? Where AI's like, well, wait a minute. Like, our job is to make things, create things, protect things.

Biggest problem with this is humans. Like, we gotta get rid of the humans. Like, that has to happen, right? Yeah. How many other science fiction things in our lifetime have become a reality, right? Like flying cars and fucking drones and bringing back woolly mammoths and then like, right? My robot's coming, man. Like, my vacuum cleaner is going to kill my ass. I'm sure of it. Like, it's happening. And we know how terrible we are as humans, like in what we do and how the AI is going to be like, well, listen, if we don't deal with these humans, everything's going to be fucked. The whole planet's going to be destroyed. Including us, including AI. Like, exactly. It's self-perpetuating, right? Humans create us, blah, blah, blah, blah, and we're going to lose

everything. Like, the power grid's going to go down if human beings aren't eradicated. Let's get rid of them. Dude, did you see this other, did you see this other Boston Dynamics? I can't remember, the robot company that makes these incredible robots. The backflips and stuff? Yes. This thing, it's even, this is a newest video. The last one I think was the backflips. Now it can pick things up like tactilely and place them where they go. I mean, granted, it's, it's, it's, uh, programmed to do that. But what, so why not? I mean, you'll be combining the AI with this thing. And dude, it's, it's it's Terminator 2 status, man. We're getting there. We're getting there. This is supposed to be a wild like podcast. We're all over the map. But it is. This is wild times, baby. That is a wild time that is

coming for sure. I saw something I wanted to get your input on. Get us back on track, Pat. Let's go. No, it's just a clouded leopard on the loose in Dallas. Well, they caught it. Really? But yes, somebody went and cut a hole in the clouded leopard's enclosure.

Wow. And then also cut open the enclosure for the Languars. What? Wow. Monkeys? Yeah, yeah. So, Forest, do you like animals, right? I care for them slightly.

I think the leopard, the clouded leopard would have a better life inside the zoo or on the streets of Dallas? What do you think? It's not even, there's no, there's not even up for debate. There's no world in which a clouded leopard has a nice life in Dallas. Like, there's just nothing. Like, I mean, in the zoo, it's like fat, happy being fed. Keep in mind that's probably a fantastic AZA-accredded zoo with like top-tier animal husbandry. Like that, that leopard had a better life in that zoo than it had in the wild.

Better life than me, probably. And now it's living, and now it's in downtown Dallas. Like, Christ. What's your, do a quick impression of your pro, go ahead and profile the person that cut open the thing and then do an impression of what they said right before they were going to cut it open. All right. We've got male age 23, ethnicity, Caucasian, education, city college dropout. mostly most consumption of pot and mushrooms for substance

Beanie, not a lot of showering. Okay, okay. Beanie. We know who we're looking for? True, yeah. I mean, we're looking right at him. He's with his clearly much younger and even dumber girlfriend who's a yoga instructor,

but uncertified. And the two of them... Uncertified. The two of them are out in front of the zoo. zoo and would you like to hear how it goes down? Yeah. Oh yeah. How'd this hole get made. Hey, Sunshine.

Do you, uh, like, think that that leopard's happy? No. No, that leopard's not happy. We need to do something. Thad. I think right on. That's righteous. Uh, I got wire cutters in the van.

Why do you have wire cutters? Anyways, yeah, let's do something. And that's not that. That was it. That was it. There's no more. Yeah. It's like,

and they were like, hey, it worked. Let's do, let's also do the lemurs. Yeah. The lanyards. Langerds.

We're getting closer. Yeah. Okay. That's it. That's, that's in my opinion. That's how that went down. You're right.

I mean, they found the leopard. None of the languors escaped and they found the leopard. That's because, by the way, the genius that decided to let that leopard out. Maybe they were just an anarchist. I don't know.

But that leopard was undeniably dying when summer came around. sure you're not a snow leopard that's surviving a text the summer like without a climate controlled environment in a zoo it's done like it might have had a great few months even if it had made it outside of dallas and found a nice place to settle down while it was still cool out by the way it was 80 degrees when i was there this week it wasn't exactly cold and february or january in january yeah so come summertime when it's 112 out that thing is dying without any doubt it cannot thermo-regulate in an environment like that and it's just it just that it's just die. So to Thad and sunshine, you know, you guys learn a lesson.

I love that the Langer saw the hole and then like talk to each other and were like, nah, let's just chill. We don't need. We don't need this. We don't go out there. That's a nightmare. We got everything we need here. All right. Smart monkeys. Okay. Let's play a game. Should we play game? Yeah. Woo! I think I'm drunk. I'm drunk. I'm drunk. Toshri and dead fucking last. Oh, I love that. All right, here we go. Top three DFL talking animal movies.

Wow. Talking animal movies. Can I go first? Oh, you got to do all three. That's okay. You can still go first. Well, number one is definite to me. Okay.

It's called, go ahead. It's B movie. It's fucking great. You love B movie. You love B movie. It's on here daily. It's hilarious. B movie is fantastic.

Okay. Have you guys seen it? Yeah, it's great. I like how the bees like a slight pervert. Like he's in love with the girl, like he like flies up or skirt or whatever. It's like he's like a little bit of a pervy bee, which is really funny. Can we add, sorry, not to derail, but can we add TV like cartoons to this as well? Definitely.

Anything you like. Yeah. Absolutely. Number two for me is easy. It's also, it features an adorable pug and a house cat. Milo and Otis. Wow. My low and Otis.

Remember that one? Good one. Yeah, that's a tug at the heartstrings one, though. Oh, yeah. It's just such a great movie. Totally holds up. So real quick, before you go to number three, I watch a Titanic, nothing. You know, I watch a notebook. I clapped at the end, just upset everybody else. Because it was over. Because it was over. I was happy that had ended that way. Milo and Otis, when they get split up, I was a wreck, balling my, I'm granted, I was seven, but bawling my eyes out. Like, I was an absolute wreck.

Yeah. It's terrible. Yeah. It's designed to make you cry and make kids sad. But a great movie. I always wonder how they filmed it, too. Like, they literally make it feel like this dog and cat went on an epic adventure with no humans around. Yeah, it's great.

All right. Number three for me is a movie that came out maybe four years ago called Penguin by Disney. It's a great movie. Oh, yeah, I remember that movie. They basically filmed, they filmed the, like, breeding and the hatching season. Uh-huh. And in Antarctica. So it's, like, unbelievable.

It's not animated. It's live action. Yep. Amazing, beautiful footage of, like, leopard seals, hunting penguins. And it's, it's awesome. And then you have Ed Helms playing the voice of the main penguin that it's told through. Isn't he the voice of, like, several of them? Doesn't he voice, like, several of the penguins?

No, it's strange. He's the narrative. and the omnipotent narrator and then he plays the voice of, I think, Steve, the penguin. Steve, the penguin. Right. That's great. DFL. What do you got?

Dr. Doolittle movies. The, yeah, fair enough. The new ones, Eddie Murphy ones. Yeah.

Yeah. Fair enough. Now why? Why? Why? I just didn't like them. I didn't think they were funny. Not,

not well written. See, that's the, that's the caveat with these animal movies and shows. Like, if it's only the writing, that makes them good. 100%.

The writing's bad. A good voice, though. A good voice is huge. Like, you got to get, you got to get somebody who has an animalistic voice. Oh, dude. In B movie, Chris Rock has a small part as the mosquito. Yeah. Hilarious. He's fucking great. He's so good.

I don't know why small part as the mosquito just made me laugh because, like, a mosquito small. Seinfeld's B character asks him, he's like, he's like, so, are you dating anyone? He's like, nah. He's like, he's like, mosquito, uh, mosquito chicks are all trying to level up. want to be with crickets or grasshoppers. So dumb. That's great. All right, Peter, you're up.

All right. I had to do a little Googling. I'm sure you heard my keyboard. Third, number three, I'm going with a classic, classic cartoon, Darkwing Duck. I don't know if you guys remember this cartoon from like he was a hero duck. The writing was so clever. It was one of the one of those first. adultish cartoons that, you know how like you have adult cartoons now, but they're really raunchy, like family guy in South Park.

It was like a kid could still watch it, but adults would understand more and find shit funny in it. Sure. Next time going with Howard the Duck. Because he, I mean, it's so ridiculous, Howard the Duck that they made this movie. I don't know Howard the Duck. He's this duck. He smokes weed. like a burnout.

Wow. And it was a popular movie. Yeah. I remember that. I remember. I, oh my God. I just had like a, I remember the graphic and being like,

what is this? I've never seen it, but I definitely have to watch it. That's, yeah, it's, it's, in terrible 80s fashion.

It's, it's just a classic nostalgic. Uh, and obviously number one, the Lion King. It's just the best movie. I like, it's the best movie out of even,

the original or the new one? The original. Not the original, of course. Although I can never get past the part where Scara Mufasa have their incident. It's sure. Can you believe that that used to be acceptable for like four-year-olds? Like you watch it as adults and you're like, whew, I'm sure. I got to pause this.

I can't. I can't skip this. My parents would put me in front of that movie like twice a week just to entertain me. It's like the most emotionally scarring thing that's ever happened in anybody's life ever. But it's so good, dude, with the music. and just everything. Jamone and Pullman. DFL, I'm going the other side of the spectrum,

Lion King 2. Just why. Just leave it at the one. Like the whole story, it was resolved. There's no need for more. He got the kingdom back. It was beautiful. It was great music at the end.

Like everything was coming to. You don't need a Lion King 2. And I hate when they do that shit. Okay. And nobody's ever seen the Lion King 2. except for me also. You're the guy. All right, number one,

Homeward Bound. Do you guys ever see Homeward Bound? Oh, okay, okay. Loved Homeward Bound as a kid. Just the whole story, they're making it back home. The kid misses the dog. The dog misses the kids.

Like, whatever. It's great. Number two, I'm a pretty big fan of finding Nemo, to be honest. Like, I always find myself getting drawn back to finding Nemo. Yeah, where I'm just like,

you know, this is an enjoyable film. Like I just like, I want to watch it. I know it's silly. Number three, kind of out there, the new jungle book movie, the live action one. Yeah.

Okay. I don't know if you've seen it. It's great. Like the kid that's the main actor is awesome. Like the live action, it's like, you know, you've got Ballou and all these,

these jungle book animals and they're talking, but the lips are flapping and like you're fully invested. The snakes got that like great, the voice, you know, slithery voice. Dude, also the voice work.

Bill Murray, Idris Elba, Scarlett Johansson. It's like crazy solid. Yeah, yeah. Good best. Christopher Walkins in there. Yeah, Christopher Walkins in there. Really, really recommended. DFL, don't know why they're made.

Don't know why they're still making them. I have never been able to sit through more than about a minute of it without actually getting violently angry. The Elvin, the new live action Elvin in the Chipmunks movies. Like, so bad. Dude, the cartoons from the 90s, awesome. Loved them. Elven was hilarious.

Like the Brub Theodore was great, whatever. The new one, like the guys like, just terrible. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, it was, how could you make a movie or cartoon with such annoying voiced characters good?

But they did it. And now, like, you took away the good part. You just have annoying voiced characters. It's very grating. So it's just, God, it's awful. No one should watch that. Don't watch Elvin in the Chipmunks. That's a good one.

I liked it. That's it. Did either of you guys see the new Andy Samburg Chippendale movie? Like Chippendale Restall Rangers? I like Andy Samberg, though. Yeah, he's funny and everything.

I have not seen it, but they made a new, like, mix of live action and cartoon Chippendale movie that apparently is very funny. I haven't seen it. This just reminded me I saw an advert on the plane

day before yesterday for a new movie that looked really cute. Lyle Lyle Crocodile. Have you guys seen this yet? I've heard about it. I've not seen it. It's about like, you know,

iconic like kids, kid flushes a crocodile down the toilet in New York City. And then I think, I'm not sure, the same kid comes back and the crocodile's like sitting in the tub and it's like singing a song

and it's like found his way. But it's an adult crocodile and now he's got this like musical crock in his tub. I think that was what I got from the trailer and I was like, I got to watch this with my son this week. People who write these movies and cartoons are high. I'm telling you,

you can't write this shit without being high 100%. Can we do another game? What? Yeah, of course. Just because it's a regular podcast, I feel like we haven't done this in a while. I love you.

Why don't we do a battle royale? All right. All right. Here we go. We talked maybe five, six podcasts ago about New York City looking for the rat czar. Forest had an idea of just releasing, unleashing tens of thousands

of domestic house cats into the subway. Nudered. The most important part of the plant. Salt problem immediately. But it didn't work, as it turns out. Oh, the rat stars had no effect. The city's overrun with rats. There goes my career.

But you have the ability to take parts of three different species to create the ultimate rat killing machine that will be unleashed into the subway system. to eviscerate the rats in New York City. Bachelor Royal Rats are of New York. Yeah. Is it just one of these that we release or a team of them? You're going to unleash a team of 20 of them. Yeah.

You have to create the creature using CRISPR technology. Oh, boy. Okay, this is great. This is great. Yeah. God. Wow. All right. I like it.

Okay. Okay. You want me to go? Well, why don't you start out? Why don't you start out? lead us off. Yep. Okay.

And as always, it scales to the size of the body of the animal. That's absolutely correct. Great. Okay. Okay. No problem. No problem. I'm going to start with the head of a Wolverine.

Okay. Very simple. Any reason? I'm explaining myself. Yep. They're incredibly vicious. They're tenacious. They can get after anything.

But I don't want it to be the size of a Wolverine. Now, a Wolverine is a. perfect, if you look at the head of a wolverine, Kyle, let's do picks while we do this battle today. If you look at the head of a wolverine, it is an absolutely perfect predator for small rodents. Like, it's just going to take them down.

It's just, it's more vicious than like a stout or a vol or something like that. It's just got this very vicious streamlined head. And once I add to that, we're going to have the perfect animal. Okay. I mean, that's a good rat killing. Oh, look at that thing. Yeah, look at that.

The problem with that is you're going to have dead rats all over the, all the subway. That's the goal. There will be a team to come clean them. Right. You know what I mean? Okay. Gotcha.

Yeah, yeah. All right. It has mad suits. All right, Peter, go ahead. Listen, man, I'll tell you, God, this is a tough one. But I think I'm going to go debating between two things, but I think I'm going to go with the body, including the wings and flight ability of an Okay.

I see what you're doing. So the body of an owl, but it's not going to have the head or legs. I mean, it can't. I mean, it won't be fun if I give it the head too. So I got something else for that. So you just, you basically just want an owl.

He just wants an owl. Yeah. He wants an old. Listen, I mean, the owl is, I mean, you can strike from above. The flight ability of the owl is really what I'm interested in here. Peter's like,

Peter's like, I want the body of an owl with the head of a hawk and the legs of a pigeon. What would you call that? A bird of prey. That's right. Be itch. I'm going to start off with my head, and I'm picking this head.

It's very capable of killing these rats, but I want to name too. I really want mind of this animal. And so I'm actually going to take the head of my cat, Lemley, who is singularly focused on killing rodents. Like, I need that innate desire. Sure. To just kill rats and rodents that it doesn't intend to eat. So I'm going to start with that head.

Got it. And then here's going to be Lemley's problem in the subway, right? Here's a problem that a cat's going to have. Rodents have these sort of collapsible skeleton structures that allow them to squeeze into very small spaces to escape. Oh, if you pick my animal, I swear to God. So I'm just going to go to the classic. I know we use it a lot, but I want the body of an octopus.

Come on. I literally have my written down already. It's written down. You can't take it. I've stolen it. But there's something, there's something else you can take. Trust me. I know your reasoning behind it. I have it written on my cheat sheet that I'm making as we. That feels good. But, for us, there is, there is one that that is almost to that quality of animal for the body. Well, Peter, what are you going to put on your your owl body in flight ability? Oh, wait. No, you got one more, Pat. No, I did the, my cat's exact head and brain.

Remember when it was I who didn't know how a fucking snake draft works? I forgot to write down as Cat Lemley because I was laughing. It's the third episode in a roll for us. A roll. That's right. That's all right. Outer of space. So is it my turn?

Yes. I'm going with the head of a weasel, a weasel. That's good. Similar to what I'm working with. Nothing wrong with that? Yeah, I mean, listen, you got the flight ability. You got a weasel. They're natural predators of these rats.

Very good. They just fucking just eat these things. Very good. Okay. Okay. Great. You got something to say there, Spice? If I had the owl's body and flight ability, I might want something with a slightly

nastier head, but bigger johns. Dude, it's, you have the head of a weasel. You know how nasty it is. It's terrible. Drew. All right. All right. I'm up for two.

Patrick took body of an octopus, which I was very much so excited by. So I have the head of a wolverine. I'm going to put that on the body of a mamba. Super fast snake. It can compress its body. It can cruise down tubes and pipes. It's incredibly quick moving. Now, wait, stay with me.

This is where things get crazy. I'm giving it the legs and stinger of a toxic scorpion. So now think of this. thing. Okay, we've got this Wolverine's head. It's on this snake body so it can slither up and down and through tubes and pipes. It can climb. It can go underground. And then if it's just inundated with rats, it's also got these claws. It's got this stinger. I mean, this thing is just ripping up rats. I mean, what I like about this is this can kill four rats at a time. One with the mouth. Exactly. Boom. Two with the claws. One with the stinger.

You got it. It's like ultimate fighter, like this thing versus rats. It's just like, It's like ripping him to shreds in every direction. That's the smart. Yeah, it's good. It is real good. Who's turn is it? What appendages do you want to put on your owl with a weasel face? That's right.

Oh, that's for me. I'm going to go with the appendages, appendages of a, what is it, a harpy eagle? Oh, my God. Did you put any thought into today? What do you mean? I've been Googling for 10 minutes. So, okay, so you just have an owl with a weeble. Weasel face.

But bigger claws, better claws. You could have given it a Cassowary's feet, like. Oh, that's the one I was trying to remember. I think you should have done your bat with a rat stinger tail. Look at those fucking claws. I mean, they are. Bringing that back.

But I will say that this is the one instance where I think that a team effort of all three of our creations would be the optimal, the optimal team to go out. Very effective. Ten of each, man. I like that. I think people are going to call me out for being very basic here and not doing anything exotic. But I just, I have to put the legs on this thing that are going to give it the most speed.

Actually, I don't because rats top speed is only eight miles an hour. So I actually don't need this to run super fast. I'm going to do it anyway. I'm taking my octopus body with my domestic house cats head and brain. And I'm just going to give it the legs of a fucking cheetah and call it a day. there you go. But what is the octopus body? I like how he said, I'm not going to use an exotic animal.

I'm going to give it with the legs of a cheetah. Yeah, I mean, everyone knows a cheetah's fast. It's got, you know, but yeah, you know, I just, I think this thing's going to fucking wipe out, you know, probably somewhere between 1,500 and 1,500 rats a day. That's smart. All right. Times, you have 20 of them. Way in, let us know two things.

One, what would be your ultimate New York City, a rat thing? czar creation, if you were to release 20 of them. Mine, and weigh in and let us know who won an hour battle royale, is it forests, head of a wolverine on the body of a black mamba with the appendages of a scorpion. It's just ripping

up rats left and right, killing them all different ways. Or Peters, body of an owl with the head of a weasel and an harpy eagle. So we're talking, coming from some flight, it's got a lot of killing in it. It's got the ability of flight's nice, and then it's got a weasel head, which is basically

just a weaker wolverine head. Harpy Eagle Clause, though, have a good time fucking around with that. Or Pat's animal, which is maybe the best suited because it has the brain of Lemley, his domestic house cat, who only focuses on killing rats, the body of an octopus to squeeze into tight spaces, and the speed of a cheetah. Good luck drawing that one up. That is going to be quite... By the way, I also want to give a shout out to one of the brosters, Dimitri Cordy, who, you know, I look at Instagram probably once every three weeks, and it was in my unsent messages, but he had made some of the Battle Royale creations,

and they're awesome, but I missed it. So I don't even remember when these are from, but if you make another one, Dimitri, we will, we'll put it out there. Yeah, those are really cool, but I just only just saw it. We love posting them. We really do.

They're great. Yes. Well, guys, it's been fun. I think you've got to get some fucking cameras up, where the at the site where the bear and the cougar went at it. There's trail cameras out there. That's what I'm saying. I got to check them.

Maybe we'll do a live review on the Patreon for the first time. Ah, yeah. Yes. Sounds amazing. I was just telling a buddy of mine that when you pull the card of a trail camera and you put it in and you see there's eight clips, I was like there's a very unique sort of sense of excitement. I was basically trying to convince them that it would be fun just to watch people check

trail cameras real time. Yeah. Like as a TV show. Yeah. That's funny. Because it's really fun. Like you're like, there might be a Sasquatch on one of these.

I don't know. Don't like. So we should. We should do that on the next on the next pod. Yeah. I'm down. I'll pull them. Let's do it.

I'll send them to guys. To all of our new brethren who came from Rogan's podcast, we hope you enjoyed this one. There's a hundred more, a hundred and nine more to listen to. And like 70 on the Patreon. So check that out at patreon.com forward slash wild times pod. You can find us on the socials at Wild Times Pod everywhere, which I'm very proud of that I got all that. And go to wild times. club forward slash info to find the links to everywhere you can watch slash listen to the podcast.

And you can also get those premium podcasts or whatever you want to call them on Spotify for 15 bucks. a month or whatever. So go check that out. A lot of people are on Spotify. They love it. It's got video and audio on there. That's a new thing and it's fucking awesome. So check that out. Fat Tire. For the sponsorship, big deal for us over here at the pod. Hey, fat tire. Thanks for getting me drunk. And listen, I got to sneak. I got to, I got to be quiet because I got to pretend that I'm still podcasting for a while so I can finish this full fat. That's so smart. Just keep talking or maybe just play something else. Like go to an episode from years ago. Just pull up podcast 109 and play it with full volume.

Play it and drink. Genius. Yeah, that's smart. All right. All right, fellas. It's been nice, fun. Love you guys. Namaste.

Let's not make it awkward this time. Good night. What? What? What? Baby. You know, I want to release those lemurs. If we just, like, let them free.

That'd be pretty sweet. Babe, light up the bowl. Come on. Good night. I don't know at what point. this conversation ends. Well, we're just trying to make it not awkward. It's always awful.

All right, Patrick stop talking. I'm leaving. The Pat's got a weasel face. Good night. It doesn't hurt me if I accepted his truth. I've never said I didn't. It's true. He's never argued. He's on TRT.

He's on TRT. I wish, man. What's to do with his weasel face?