Wild Times: Wildlife Education - What Do Animals Do During Christmas? - The Wild Times Ep. 134

Episode Date: December 25, 2023

This week we discuss a rare tiger captured on a trail camera, what animals do during Christmas, and some battle royales! Liquid IV: https://www.liquid-iv.com/ Get 20% off your order when you use code: WILD at checkout Prize Picks: https://prizepicks.com/wild Use code "wild" for a first deposit match up to $100! Subscribe to The Wild Times Podcast on YouTube ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod Get YouTube Membership Perks ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVl7fHhUOpFK8Mpv-6DdoOg/join Get Up To 4 Bonus Podcasts Per Month ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod Watch More Episodes Here ▶▶ https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLP... Visit https://thewildtimespodcast.com/ now! Join The Wild Times Discord Server: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9Db Get your Wild Times Podcast merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Leave a review on iTunes Apple Podcast: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/itune... Follow The Wild Times Podcast on socials: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wildtimespod/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespod Twitter: https://twitter.com/WildTimesPod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/ Listen to The Wild Times Podcast on: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cbFBzf... Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Google: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0... Anchor.fm: https://anchor.fm/wildtimespod/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod Enjoy, brosteners! TWT 134 - The Breakdown 00:00 - Intro 01:50 - Holiday Mini Battle Royale 06:30 - Goop 13:30 - Christmas Songs 18:54 - Malayan Tiger Rare Photos Caught on Camera Trap 25:55 - Dominica Sperm Whale Reserve 30:01 - Guess The Christmas Movie 38:38 - What Do Animals Do During Christmas? 44:10 - Xmas Dinner/Traditions 50:16 - Battle Royale Jingles made by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-tire/ #wildtimespod #podcast

Oh, boy. Can you make my dog howl? You almost did. Wild time. For real. Here we go. Christmas app of the wild times. Holidays, please.

What? My wife is Jewish. That's your problem. Cheers. I'm offended. Cheers. Merry holidays. Very holidays, everybody.

Forest, you look like Santa with that gray beard. I know. Tell me about it. It's getting worse. It's like every day there's more gray hairs. there are brown ones. All right. What the hell are we doing?

That's what happens when you get older. And stressed. Look, I love this time of year. This is fun. I hope that everyone's enjoying just the coziness. Weather's cooler. Look, he's so cheerful. Oh, and a kiss.

Feels great. That's nice. I love it. Peter, you wanted to tell everybody what happened with the Christmas outfits. Oh, yeah. Well, so Pat in prime fashion, five minutes before he got here, he texted us, hey, wouldn't it be a great idea if we all wore our Christmas beach? hour and a half before.

No, it was five minutes. And Forest, when he got here, he was like, hadn't left Santa Barbara yet when he got the text. Not true. That's not true. Already had his PJs in. Was driving down here in him. Already had his PJs in the car. Had not mentioned to anybody and a Christmas ad. Yep. Was ready. This was going to be me today. Me, I had to pull these clothes out of the fucking hamper. They smell.

Do you just know that you were pulled him out of laundry. I was kind of hoping I get pulled over on the drive down here and just like, wish the officer a cheerful Christmas season. They would literally come up, see you and be like, you've brightened my day. Continue on. Please move on. Yeah. If you got pulled over here and see me, man, all holiday celebrating, if you look at my neighborhood,

it's already decorated, it's beautiful here. I want to kick things off with something I just thought of. Well, I was peeing. Because it's Christmas time, the stockings have been hung by the chimney with care. I think I know what time is. Drunk. Yep. I'm going to start with a holiday mini battle royale

that I thought. So here's the challenge. So you've got to create a creature that's small enough to be a stocking stuffer. Ooh, I like this. And it's got to be, it's going to be popular. Like this is going to be the go-to stocking stuffer all over the world this year.

It's like, remember those things that you had to feed them and stuff? Yeah. Tagamichi or something? Yeah, Tamaguchi. Tamaguchi. Tamaguchi. Tamaguchi. Yeah.

Yeah, we got something like that. But this is a real live creature that will be in the stocking. Yep. Okay. You have to use the head of an animal. Yep. The body of an animal. Yep.

It's obviously going to be scaled to the size of the body. Yep. Yeah. And then a trait. Okay. From a celebrity. A human celebrity. Wow.

A trait? Yeah. Give me an example real quick. The singing voice of Taylor Swift. A trait from a celebrity. All right. Let me start, please. Okay.

I'd like to start because I'm going to go with the body so I can get my size nailed down. An octopus? Nah, come on. That's such a terrible stocking gift. It's slimy, eight-legged creature. I'm going, I'm going very standard, but I think, like Taylor Swift's movie or music, it will appeal to the general population.

I'm going to go with the body of a hamster. God damn. I swear I was going to take that. I had a Russian dwarf hamster body. That's why I had to get in there and go first. That's smart. That's a good body. Jorubic.

Plump. Dude, so key. I may as well give it the head, too. I mean, Jesus. Yeah, no kidding. Wow, that's a great pick. Good start. All right, for us, you middle this time.

All right. I'm going to start with the head of a phenic fox. Scales to the body, but I'm going cute. You simply can't go wrong. Nope. That is beautiful. It's Adorbs. Yeah, I mean, you got a cute head there.

That's better than a Tomoguchi. All right. Now, am I allowed to take this body? Or is this too similar? Got the snipples. To Peter's hamster. Still. I've gone on for months.

You're allowed. Whatever it is. Very loud. Okay. I already forgot what I was going to say. Yes. It was such a good, it was such a good little pick too.

I'm still looking at this fennick fox. A cute little body. Think about it while we talk about the fennick fox. Dude, are these kept as pets? They are, but it's not a good pet. Not a good pet.

No, it's a nightmare. It's like when you think having a monkey monkey will be great. Exactly. Yeah. You're like, he'll be my best friend and he'll be my butler. Yeah.

He destroys your house and throws species at you. For us, I didn't mean to make you cry. Are you okay? No, my eyes just started watering. My nose got all. stuffy. Like it's just... You want an allergy pill? I think I just got hit by an allergy. Dude, it just came out of the vent. All right. I'm going to take the body of a kangaroo mouse. Okay. Let's see this thing. Is it like a regular, so it's a regular mouse body?

No, it's this guy. Does this include its feet? Go down one. This includes its feet. Okay. Look at how cute it is. Very cute. Obviously, no tail. No tail. Great pick. I like the tail, personally. Yeah, great pick. This one's not going to have a tail. Okay. Um, no tail. You can't. You can't remove appendages off your body. It's his game. And then I'm going to give, I'm going to give mine the cheerful Christmas spirit personality of actress Lacey Shebert. So explain it.

She stars in like five Hallmark movies. Yeah, she's got the scratchy boys. Yeah, she stars in at least five Hallmark Christmas movies every year. Yeah, she's great. Americans love her. Massive team crush on her, by the way. Oh, yeah. She's very beautiful.

She was in party of five. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Now she's like in her 40s right now. She's great. She's all grown up. But she does all the hallmark movies.

She perfectly encapsulates that, you know, big city woman who has to go back to the town. Sure. She is a small town. Falls in love with the guy who works at the pumpkin patch and decides to stay. Smokes 50 packs of cigarettes a day with her deep voice. Yeah. So I'm going to give my mouse, my kangaroo mouse, the personality of Lacey Shabar. Okay.

You're up. No, no, you are. Ah, you're up. Oh, yeah, you went that way. Okay. You did my thing, too. Huh? You did my thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did your thing. Okay, okay. So I've got the head of a fennick fox, and I am going to give, I'm going to give my fennick fox head the unlikable personality of Gwyneth Paltrow's goop products. Why? Great business sense.

Let him do it. Let him do it. I'll explain why. It's the most nonsense. sense. Okay, go ahead. Explain my. Because she puts out these terribly expensive products that no women actually like that cost a gazillion dollars.

And somehow she's made billions, maybe not billions, but many millions of dollars off of it. Probably billions. Probably billions. And how is that appealing as a stocking stuffer? Because everybody's talking about it. Everybody's talking about it. This is like, you're like, oh, it's like Gwenith Palture. You're like, look, it's beautiful.

It's adorable. Wow, it's really off-putting. Yeah. It brought to my attention that Goop at one point had a problem. that was like a little magnet or magnets that you put under your plate. I don't know if this is true that you like put under your plate. A food? Yeah.

And it like by having it underneath your plate, it like gets rid of the metal. Does something and makes it healthier for you. So Jessica told me and she might have been getting punked on this as well that, that Goop sold rocks that you put in your vagina. Yes. No, that's a true thing. That's a real thing. I don't know if it was rocks.

I don't know why you put a rock in your vagina. but yeah. It's a jade egg? An egg, yeah, eggs. Egg rocks. 60 bucks. You can put a rock in your vagina. See,

this is why my fetic fox is doing this. For the low price. This makes me angry because, like, why are we doing products? Why are we not making products? Like, Gretna Peltro is selling eggs that go in your veg. We can put out an actual product that's like a good, a good product. You're saying this isn't a good product? I don't want to fame her.

It comes in a decorative bag. That's a lovely bag. A dorned with a capital G. I really just wanted to talk about this. It's a good pick. I've changed my heart on it. You're happy with it? It's a good pick, yeah, because this is what's going to happen

with your creature around the Christmas dinner table. Oh, yeah. Can you imagine? You're going to be like, God, this fucking thing keeps selling these badge rocks. Like, I don't know. I don't know why I got as a stocking stuffer. But it's a billionaire. So how did it make billionaires?

It's running around putting magnets under your plates while you're trying to eat a nice Christmas ham. you're like, God, this is a nightmare. It might be the best better out of past. It's absurd. It's got an... The descriptions are hilarious. Give us a little.

It's giving instructions. Gently insert the egg into your vagina like you would a tampon. Let's not. The slightly larger side of the egg first. Work your pelvic floor and feel the connection with your body by squeezing and releasing the egg.

You might begin with a 10 to 15 minute session if comfortable. This is wildly off-putting. I'm sure we have zero female listeners. We now have less. Let me just add. I'd like to say... Yeah, eggs are pre-drilled for a string add-on.

We recommend using unwaxed. The string add-on is $35, by the way, from... No, they want you to use unwax dental floss. Which does not come with the product. You have to then go to Rite Aid and buy your cheap down flaws. I really appreciate this product because it trains women to be receptive to my... sized penis

and egg shaped. Edit. Please take that out. I'm just kidding. Peter, if I, last thing I'll say about the egg, if I buy one or you, will I put up my pee hole? Will you gift it to your wife and film how that goes? Oh yeah. Not her using it, just her receiving it as a gift.

Now I won't because you said that. I wasn't even considering that as part of the gift, but... All right, so Peter, you're up for two. You got hamster body. Yeah, okay, so I've had a lot of time to think about this. I don't a computer for once, which makes it difficult for me to layman. But since this is a fun game, I'm going with the head. And don't judge until I pick my second pick of a naked mole rat,

right? Okay, not judging. Not a great looking animal, right? But look at the head. It's, it can't see, right? And it's got big buck teeth. So, what? Yeah, that's true. What? Yeah, that's true. What you're saying is true. And it's just like, you know, like how animals who can't see are very Dick with teeth. That is an old man's penis with teeth. Maybe he went to that thing. Peltro should have been selling this instead of the egg.

I'd put that up my snows for sure. Easily. All right. So, dude, look at that. It's like a dancing naked roll. Mole rat. Bro. Anyways, that's, I'm, I'm excited. So he's unhinged. I was just going to say, we should have a

losing his shit over. We should have a mascot for the podcast that is this right here. This, this mole rat should always be in the corner dancing of videos. All right. So, you know how cute animals are when they're like sniffing around and they can't really see? So my

hamster with a naked mole rat's head is also going to have the singing and piano playing ability of Stevie Wonder. So it's just going to be like this, you know? That's great. Playing the piano and then. It's really good. With the buck. See, it's pretty good. I think it's going to horrify children. But it's not about

horrifying. It's about, it's about... I like how he's like throwing his head in the air. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, there's something to do that. He's going to go in there with a working piano. That is smart. So he comes packaged with a tiny piano in the stock. The piano comes later. It's a full-sized piano.

You get the mole rat in your stocking and then your first gift that's wrapped. It's a piano. A tiny mold sized piano. Hamster's a good. All right. So you have a vague, unlikable quality of goop. Yep. To match a Phoenix Fox head.

Yeah, correct. And that's all going to live on undeniably the most off-putting body to the human touch. which is the body of a hedgehog. Everybody wants one as a pet. Patrick, how many times do my hedgehog bite you? One, because I only held it for three seconds. They're adorable, but boy, are they off-putting to actually hold. But you don't have the head of the hedgehog.

No, my concern is those spikes are going to get stuck in the felt-like material of the stocking, and you'll never get it out. Well, maybe that's part of the package, you know? You have to work it out, and then it comes out trying to sell you a very expensive. Snizz egg, yeah. Snizz egg. That's what she should rename the product too. All right, so I've got a kangaroo mouse body. On that, I'm going to give, I'm going to put the tiny scaled down head of a baby red panda.

Oh, adorable. Oh, nice, nice. And then it will have the lovable, Christmassy personality of Hallmark actress Lacey Chabair. That's right. It's just going to make you feel good, this creature. Yours is the most Christmas Eve, for sure. Yeah, come on. Ray Charles coming out playing Christmas classics and singing them.

Or not Ray Charles. Do you think about all those teeth moving independently while at singing. Children are going to run. Oh, my. Run right to it and sit down. Sure, maybe. And listen quietly. That's right.

All right, let's know who won the Battle Royale. It's quite a mess. It's a disaster. Really mine is the worst. So, Pat, during this holiday season, you like to sometimes bust out in song. And there's one song. that you sing quite often and you do a pretty great one-line rendition. Can you do it?

Oh, the one that literally almost made your ex-wife leave Hawaii because she was getting so sick of me singing. Yeah, that's the one. She literally got, she's so nice. Yeah. And we were all in Hawaii, and Peter and I just kept singing this one line of this Christmas song. Because what was it?

It was around Thanksgiving? Yeah, it was at the holiday. And just at one point, she's like, if you guys say that again, I'm leaving. and I'm just going to go visit my sister the whole time. And then she handed me the divorce papers. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Toys in every store. That's nice. Yeah. It's really nice. I don't know. Why was she acting like such a bitch? Yeah. What about you?

Do you have any favorites that you? I don't have a singing voice like that. Oh, come on. It's Christmas sign. Only me and Bing Cousman. I like... Mood off the red nose reindeer. No, I like...

Mommy's kissing Santa underneath the missile. It's hilarious. Wait, no, isn't it? What is it? Is it Rudolph? I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. Oh, that's a good one. I'm 99% sure that that's a song about a kid who caught his mom fucking a neighbor.

Relax, bleep that out. No, that is what it's about. Kyle, look this up. I believe you. But it's a nice melody. It's a very nice melody. I don't care if it's about not incest. What's the word?

Cheating. Cheating. Infidelity. Infidelity, thank you. Yeah. How will his father react when hearing of the kiss? It was condemned by the Roman Catholic Church,

believing that it described an adulterous encounter. Yep. It really does. High five, dude. Yeah. I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. All right, gentlemen,

let's get into some Christmas animal news. Not just animal news. Just what's in the news. I mean, it's the time of yours started. It's party season. Oh, yeah. Everything tastes better, including the wine and the booze, the nog. Did a Santa run the other night?

Yep. Drinking more. We all do it. We all do it, whether you want to admit it or not. Yeah, you do. Flying, traveling across country. Oh, yeah. I need to hydrate.

Yep. I've been doing it with liquid IV. It is, I legitimately love this product. You throw it in your backpack. It's small, it's portable. You can throw one in a water bottle. You feel great fully hydrated. Like, listen to me.

This is how hungover I am. Yeah. And if it wasn't for Liquid IV, I don't think I would have made it to Peter's house today. It's got three times the electrolytes of a regular sports drink, no artificial sweeteners and no sugar. Yeah, it's way better. Well, look, grab your Liquid IV hydration multiplier, sugar-free in bulk nationwide at Costco. You can get 20% off when you go to Liquidiv.com and use the code Wild at checkout. That's 20% off anything you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code Wild.

at Liquidiv.com. Horst is that? I have three of them in here. That's crazy. Three lemon limes in here. This guy's going to be peeing all day. Monday, December 25th. Got some hot

Christmas. Hot football action in the NFL tonight. I am going to be having some fun on prize picks because it's the most fun I've had winning up to 25 times my money this football season. Nice. You just select two or more players, pick more or less on their projected stats and place your entry.

Prize picks is really simple to play. I can make my picks submit my entry in less than 60 seconds. If you can do it, anyone can. Absolutely. Quick withdrawals, easy game play, huge selection of players and stat types. What makes prize picks the number one daily fantasy sports app. We got some picks for you for tonight if you want to try prize picks. I'm going Lamar Jackson, quarterback of the Ravens, more than 50.

rushing yards versus San Francisco. I think they're going to be in the backfield. He's going to be scrambling around. I think he's going to get more than 50 and a half rushing yards. What do you have for us? Well, you know, I have a deep burning desire to know so much about football. Yes. That it's based entirely on pop culture.

Yes. So what I do know is that Travis Kelsey is preoccupied with Taylor Swift. He is. It has not been good. No, which means he's definitely going less than 69.5 receiving yards against Vegas tonight. That's low. He's cursed. Peter, what do you got?

Listen, I'm doing this specifically as a jab at you. It's against the Eagles. Their secondary is terrible. I'm going Tommy Cutlets. Tommy DeVito. That's right. He lives with his parents. Yes.

It doesn't matter. More than 179.5 passing yards versus your Eagles. I will also be selecting that as one of my picks because our secondary is garbage. Yeah, prize picks. All right. Well, we can't guarantee these picks. It's just what we're picking. I'm going to have some fun tonight.

We're going to have some fun tonight. If you want to try it, go to priespicks.com slash wild. Use the code wild for a first deposit match up to $100. 300. Yeah. That's priespicks.com slash wild and use the code wild. Daily fantasy sports, made easy. Love it.

Let's do it. Even you morons can do it. Tommy Cutlets. Cutlets. Hey. Just what's in the news. Yeah, I kind of want to talk about politics. We don't do that.

Oh, okay. Turn it up, crank it. What's the news? Okay. Thank you for those jingles. President Biden died today. No, I was just a shock. I just wanted to say something shocking.

Jesus. Kyle wouldn't have known. No, no, he doesn't know. He gets all his news from TikTok. I definitely would have believed it. By the time this comes out, it could have happened. It's true. Yeah.

It's true. A creature we've talked about, we've talked about it. I don't know if we ever talked about it on the podcast was seen on a camera trap, a very elusive creature for us. Pretty exciting. Yeah. Pretty exciting. Camera trap in Malaysia captures rare images, including critically endangered Malayan tigers. Yeah.

Okay, so tell us about the, what's up with the critically endangered Malayan Tigers. Look at that picture, too. Like 100 left, 50 left? Very cool. So there used to be around 3,000 of them during the last survey, which I think was in the 1950s. and now it says there are fewer than 150 left. So in order to get a, you know, getting a picture of a tiger in Malaysia is a big deal. Good picture, too. What's happened with tigers is there used to be so many different subspecies and

populous. Javan tigers, Balinese tigers, you know, Sumatran tigers, blah, blah, this goes on and on and on. And they're just getting fewer and fewer globally. You know, we all know the stat. There's more tigers in the U.S. in captivity than there are in the wild. Right. And so, you know, nice little win to have critically endangered

Malayan tiger photograph. Are the Malayan tiger photograph? Are the Malayan tigers a little smaller than... Yep, yep, a little bit smaller. Yep. Beautiful little... I mean, they're still a big scary tiger, don't get me wrong. But, yeah, it's just a good thing.

There's a lot of poaching in Malaysia. There's a lot of traps like bushmeat trade, so... So they get caught up in that? Yeah, I mean, anything gets caught in a snare. That's so awful, dude. Yeah, it is. And snares are indiscriminate, man. I was watching, this is a little off topic, but I watch a lot of, like, raw body cam police footage on YouTube.

I do too. And I was, it's great. I need to get into that. And I was, I'll send you some channels. Kill a couple hours a night doing that. Dude, and also like just on your phone

and only have to pay attention to the interesting parts. Yeah. So I was watching this very, very stressful interaction between a guy who had schizophrenia in a very tiny, shitty apartment. And there's like six cops in there. One of them is like calmly,

calmly speaking to him. The other one is, every once in a while he'll be like, I'm going to shoot you. you. Like, I'm not kidding. It's called Good Cup, Bad God. The one guy is like, so anyways, my point is, they end up shooting

him with a pepper ball gun in this very small, tiny apartment. And I was like, they tased him and then shot him with the pepper ball gun and unfortunately ended up shooting him. But I was like, yeah, but I was like watched all this? But I was like, yeah, I don't watch those ones. I watch traffic. No, no, I didn't know.

They're usually not allowed on YouTube. But anyways, my point is, I was like, why would they shoot him with a pepper ball gun in an apartment that's like 10 by 10. It's like a box. And who wins in that scenario? They all ended up like they had a switch and move around now and go out and I was like, why

why don't the cops carry around giant butterfly nets? Oh. Why? I mean, dude, a butt of a big net like a net gun. Yeah, like a big weighted net. That would totally work. Just scoop somebody up. Dude, that's a fantastic idea.

Where the scene in the office where Dwight scoops up Meredith and a giant Giant butterfly net's fantastic. I don't remember it, but I can picture it. Yeah, it's great. My favorite about that is when Michael hits Meredith in the parking lot with his car. Yeah, breaks her hip or whatever. It's so good.

All right, we digress. Sorry. Yeah, big butterfly net. Great call. No, I think the net gun, what was the thing you did with a, used a net gun for something? To shoot a sheep. Oh, that's right. The one you couldn't catch that you chased around for three hours?

I bought a net gun to the Faroe Islands, which was like this crazy contraption in case we saw a great aug so that I could neck gun it. Yeah. And of course we didn't see a great aug. So I was like, well, you know what? The Faroese Island sheep are their own distinct subspecies. Let's take some genetic material. I want to test out this neck gun that we started. And it worked well? Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. So it has, it's basically a net that has weighted waded balls. It's like there's a big, uh, like the end of the muzzle has like four slots and you put these little like carrot shaped weights in it. Uh-huh. And then a big bowled up net in the center and it shoots out and the net comes out first and then the four weighted carrots shoot out

carrying the net. Yeah. And then whatever it lands on is just like immediately. I think we need more net guns in the world honestly. That's a great. It's such a good idea. Yeah. I've never been to Malaysia. But like just looking at this like camera trap study because it's a big, it's part of a big conservation effort. Yeah. Anti-poaching work. Yeah. Getting rid of the snares and stuff. But it says like, you know, they had black leopards on there. Oh, wow. They had the tigers. Yeah. And tapers, which are awesome. Clouded leopards. Can you pull up a tape pair? There's all kinds of stuff.

Dude, I just, when I was just at the, at the San Diego Zoo, like, tapers are awesome. Yeah, especially the Malayan ones. Oh, yeah, these guys. Yeah. Really cool. Yeah, they're amazing. I was just at the Moore Park Zoo. Forrest, do you know about this zoo?

There's just a little zoo out here. It's like a teaching zoo, right? Oh, yeah. So Jess almost went to school there. Oh, really? Yeah, because Jess always wanted to do zoology. And funny story, she didn't actually get into UCSB, which she was gutted about. It's terrible.

And then she was like, well, I'm going to go to Moore Park because it's like a pay-to-play program. Like you get in, I think. Yeah, no, for sure. Yeah. But I think it's like a decent. No, it's a good school. It's a really good zoology vet school. And then she appealed and got into UCSB, so she didn't have going there.

Wow, you would never have met if she hadn't appealed that. Yeah. Interesting. But so I went to Moore Park Zoo and, you know, it's, I was torn because it's kind of sad. They have a lion and a tiger there. And they were like in these little cages. and I'm wondering to myself like they must take them out

right and like run them somewhere I doubt it very much. You don't think so? It's not an easy thing to do Oh I know that's what I was thinking about as well But I was like god damn it Like I want to enjoy this and I did because my kid was there And I was teaching about lions and tigers and stuff But dude the monkeys

The primate section I gotta show you this video It's crazy this monkey was putting on a show for us Oh there you go they do They often do Oh they love it they love the attention Love it, dude. My kid was just enamored by all the primates.

I was really happy with it. It's a nice holiday festivity. Yeah. Kids of the zoo. They have a night one. Well, I'm not even getting into that. They have a night one with Christmas lights and stuff there. Why wouldn't you get into that?

That's great. That sounds fun. I'd like to go. That was my suggestion about what you do. They have that. Jessica is doing that tonight at our zoo in Santa Barbara. That's great, dude. You do all the lights and like big animals and like a whole thing.

Supports the zoo too. Come out. If you got that in your town, support the zoo. Come out and check out the Christmas lights. Yeah. kids. Yep. It's fun. Did you, so what do you think of this thing? We quickly talked about this off camera, but this idea about this, we saw this in the news, the island nation of Dominica.

Yeah. Is creating the first ever sperm whale reserve. Huh. I think it's great. How do you do that? What are they? What? It's sort of just like a PR stunt, to be quite honest. I mean, it's not like anybody was hunting sperm whales off the coast of Dominica already. But what has been happening, and Kyle, you can probably find some really cool videos is that there's a new boom of ecotourism around diving with sperm whales in dominica. Oh, interesting. And I think by creating the reserve, they're going to start

implementing basically some laws and rules around like, hey, you can't just gun your boat at them and jump in, you know, on their head basically for a good show. So I think that's sort of what it is. And then, of course, with any, like with any reserve, they're going to ban commercial fishing, which is good. I mean, I don't, I don't, you know, and large ships. And so commercial fishing thing, anytime commercial fishing is banned, it's good because commercial fishing devastates ecosystems. That's like where they'll just drag a fucking net along the bottom. Different methods, but it just, we're so good at it that it wipes out stuff.

But then the other good thing, sperm whales are incredibly sensitive to sound. Yeah. That's why they have like, I think I've talked about this, like they can explode your heart with the sounds that they make and stuff. They're amazing. They don't do it, but they're capable of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they're incredibly sensitive to sound.

And so by making a reserve, they're also going to ban large ships from driving through there. So that noise pollution won't affect them as much. So that's really good too. That's cool. Yeah, I mean, that's good for the entire coastal city as well. Yeah. I think it's a really good idea.

I think for Dominica to do that and then advertise like safe, sustainable ecotourism around swimming with the sperm oils and stuff, I think it's a really good play. Yeah. I'm down for any time. I forget. Have you dove with the sperm oil? I have. I was in Palapas Ventanas in Baja and I saw them cruising by and we drove

the boat up and I just hopped in. And they just did one pass by me. But like compared to the stuff you see online where they're like sleeping vertically and all that stuff. Yeah, pull up that picture, Kyle, the three sleeping vertically. It's crazy. It was up near the top. Yeah, there's one. Yeah. Oh, wow. Look at that. They sleep vertically in the water column. Those ones are like either just waking up or maybe it's a distorted angle. But they're ones where they'll see like 20 of them like all perfectly stacked vertically asleep. That's wild. Why do they do?

How does that happen? I don't know. Yeah, look at that. Weighted tails. So what the water column just kind of keeps them buoyant there? I think they do it, you know, through regulating their breathing and everything else and probably just like a gentle, you know, kick of their tail. I don't really know.

But I don't know why they do it. But yeah, that's how they'll sleep. Looks very cozy. What's that? Looks very cozy. Yeah, it looks awesome. No, I'd love to do that. I'd love to do.

I actually had a bet with a friend. And our bet was during the rugby world. Cup. If she won, we had, she's a wildlife biologist. She's like, we have to go to Dominica and swim with the, if New Zealand won, because she's a Kiwi. Yeah. It's like, we have to go to Dominica and swim with the, the whales. And I was like, all right, but they lost. But they lost. And then what did she have to do? I'm glad I don't have to pay for that. Eat your butt. Cut that out. What a terrible thing did you just say? No, she has to,

because she runs a shark operation. So she has to take me shark diving for free. Oh, nice. Yeah. Right on. Have you been on, have you had anything going? Are you just chilling at home with the baby or have you had anything going on adventure-wise lately? Just chilling right now. Just chilling? Yep. All starts up again in a few weeks, but. Dude.

Forrest texts us his schedule for 2024 and he's like, we've got maybe three days to podcast out of January to April. No, it starts in February. No, I don't know. We'll get him in. No, no, no. I know. I just thought it was funny because and then it's like right now you're just chilling in holiday mode, man. It is the best.

I drove here in pajamas. Yeah, this is how he hasn't changed in a week. Yeah. I feel really good right now in these comfy jams. That's because you've had nine, what do you call the fat tires? You're at Taff, but you can actually see fat tire on these cameras. Edwin put together a new game. Ooh, I think this is creative. Hell yeah.

This name of this game is called Can You Guess the Christmas Movie from the Emogies? Here we go. Wow, this is interesting. I like this. Yeah. I don't know what he's done. I like it. Okay.

So guess is. Oh, I see. A smiley face in a city. What's that city? Oh, God. No. A Santa. Book.

Book Santa's song. Jesus. Tough. Yeah. What the fuck? And then a family. I get what he's trying to do, Harry. It's just so hard to think of these things.

It's like not how my brain works at all either. No, me neither. I'm very bad. I love how there's just a cheery, smiley face. I'm going to guess elf. Nah. It's a good guess. It's not it, though.

All right. Let's see what it is. It's, oh, well, I give up. Let's give up. Just give up. Oh, fuck you. You were right. Wait, why did it say that was the wrong answer?

Good question. So, happy. All right, so let's think about it. So you go back, before we go on in the next one. Happy, he goes to New York City. He loves singing. Oh, yeah. I don't get the books.

Oh, because the dad works as a children's book publisher. That's it. And then he ends up in the family. Good one, good one. All right. If you're just, we definitely should speak out the emojis for just the listeners. All right. So we've got a father and a son, a house, a Santa, a skull, a man with a mustache, and then another slightly larger Santa.

This is so hard. Oh, that's a great. Home alone. All right, take the guess. Home alone. Yeah, that's a good guess. Because the skull? I give up.

I give up. Let's see. The Santa Claus. I love this movie. You guys like this movie? No. Never seen it. Oh, dude, you gotta watch it.

Never seen it. Did he kill Santa? It's Tim Allen. Well, I mean, accidentally. Spoiler alert. Oh, and then he becomes Santa. Yes. I have seen it.

It's like a 90s movie, right? Yeah, definitely. Back when Tim Allen was an actor. It's a good, a solid Christmas flick. Nice. By the way, the shirt I have on right now, hopefully that one is come. All right.

This is Home Alone. So what do we got here? Wait, wait. So we have Shadow people, which are the burglars. The burglars. A plane. A plane. That's the parents.

Family leaving. The mansion. child. And there's McCauley Colkin as an emoji. An iron which he takes to the face. The robber. Merv. Marv. A tarantula. Yep. That's clearly. Put on Mars' nose. Home alone.

Bing, Ming. Dude, it's ridiculous. It doesn't work correctly. Classic. Classic, fantastic movie. Now we've got a purple demon, a puppy, a Christmas tree, a present. Gremlins. A young girl. No. Interesting. And a green march. The Grinch.

Ah. His heart is just. two sizes, too small. It's green. The purple is the Grinch, and that's his dog Max. Smart. I think you're right. Smart. I think you're right.

How the Grinch stole Christmas. There you go. We'll give you, we'll give you nine-tenths of a point. We'll give you nine-tenths of a point. I know what this is. Okay, we've got cocaine emoji. Snowflake, a boy, a train, a ticket, a bell, and Santa. This is Polar Express.

Oh, smart. Also, never seen this. Is this any good? Nobody says. seen it? How the hell? I've never seen it. No, no, I'm saying how the hell did you know that? I know it's about a train. It's the only train Christmas movie. It's the only train based.

This is too easy. Rudolph the red nose reindeer. Yeah, it's perfect. Look at it. A red circle, a nose. Yeah. Yeah. A reindeer. Love these old claymation movies. Oh my goodness. So here we're, this one's harder. We got a, a girl, a girl emoji. What's the next one? What do they call those?

A crystal ball. The top hat. The top hat gives it away. Okay, well, you know. Willie Wonka? No, it's not Willie Walker. Then there's a snowman. With snow.

A sun. A water drop and another snowman. It's Frosty, right? Frosty, the snowman. Yeah. The top hat gives it away. We're pretty good at this. Mine's the first one.

Well, no, you got the first one. Look at that animation. That's great. Tremendous. I love old cartoons, man. Yeah. Last one. Oh, is this?

Angry face and old bald man. I know it. It's the one with Dennis Leary? Ghosts. Oh. Three ghosts of Christmas past. Oh. What's the name of the movie?

I don't know. It's a Scrooge. Scrooge. Yeah. Scrooge or? There's no reason to write in the answer. My brother, my brother Dominic loves,

he makes us watch Scrooge every year. A Christmas Carol. He makes us watch this every year. Yeah. It's like his pick. Yeah. Sucks. Dude, have you ever seen?

So boring. Have you ever seen the one with Bill Murray? Yeah, that was called Scrooge. Scrooge, yeah. That's what I thought. That's what I thought. It was. That one's good, huh?

It's better, but this original Christmas Carol is... Watch Scrooge with Bill Murray. Let's just take a quick look. Go down. Is that the last one? What's your favorite? Absolutely. You can only have one Christmas movie for the rest of your life.

Okay. Elf, for sure. I've watched it twice already. No way. Christmas vacation, baby. Really? Oh, I got the shirt on right now. Yeah, I should watch it again.

It's been alone. Between Christmas vacation, watch it. Elf and Home Alone. It's really hard. Those are top three for sure. Or diehard. That's GFL.

Yeah. Not at Christmas. I'm just trying to think like... Was that the last one? So you're going Elf, you're going vacation? I might go home alone. Yeah. Those are all classics.

Well, I think those are a well-rounded balance. Yeah. I mean, those are the three. Yeah, those are the three. Anyone who says like, it's a wonderful life. We would love to hear your guys's Christmas movie picks. Post them in the comment because, by the way, I am open to watching new Christmas movies.

I got them on the TV. You know, it's pretty solid. Dr. Seusses. the Grinch. It's unbelievable. Really good, right? Yeah. You see Patch reaction? The illumination one? Yeah. The animation one. It's so good. The animation is unbelievable.

Benedict Cumberbatch is the voice of the Grinch, which is bizarreo, but fantastic somehow. It's so good. I mean, it's on a heavy, it's my kid's like favorite movie, so it's a heavy rotation deal. Same with us, yeah. What do you think about a Charlie Brown Christmas? We just tried watching it a couple nights ago. It's the music. I love the music. It's very depressing.

It's so depressing. The plot of the movie. is that Charlie's depressed at Christmas and might kill himself. Yeah, yeah. It's quite fitting for the state of the world today. Our parents used to put us in front of, though. Ren and Stimpy and like Charlie Brown wanting to off himself. Dude, when Pat pointed out to me that all children's books

are literally like horse show, ridiculous mind fuck stuff. Yeah. And now every time like I, dude, I was reading Dumbo, I'm like, dude, this is so sad. Like Dumbo's mom gets fucking beaten and. taken away. Always. What's going on here? I don't know. I don't know. Children don't need to learn this. I made my family watch

a year without a Santa Claus, the old claymation one. Where they have the snow miser and the heat miser. Okay. You know that one? No, no. I don't know. It's a classic. But I can get it. Snowmiser, heat miser. Yeah, my wife did not like it. And my kid was just like, more snowmiser,

more snowmiser. This guy? Oh, yeah. Okay. The songs are amazing. Huh. It's like a big horn out of before, but it's been a long. I'm Mr. Snowmiser. Forrest, here's an interesting question. Hey guys, if you're enjoying... Whoops.

Guys, if you like The Wild Times, check us out on Patreon. We put out four extra podcasts per month. That's one commute a week that you're just going to be laughing and learning the whole time in the car. Let me do something else. This is the late night content and stuff that we can't show on YouTube because they'll kick us off YouTube. It's the Cinemax of...

podcasts. Uncensored, raw dog, it's the cinemax of podcasts. Check it out. Link right here. Hey, brosters, thank you for being loyal subscribers. We appreciate everything that you do. And now we have a membership offer for you. I think you can get ad-free episodes, I heard. That's pretty big. Ad-free's big, but you can also get your comments looked at so we don't have to sift through the millions. How do you do that? Is there some sort of badge system? There's a badge system, a loyalty. badge. Boom. Shows up next to your name in the comments. Boom. We read the comment.

All this badge talks make, I'm going to the badge store. He's going to get a badger. He's going to buy one. He's going to buy one. He did a fake leave. I assumed Kyle would know that. Cut on the motion. All right, let's cut now. That's that's our ad. What? That costume's great. How, how, what

goes on with animals during Christmas time? That's different. than any other time of year. I know I'm putting it on a spot, but like, is there anything... Kyle's laughing his ass off because that's the dumbest question that is over there. I can't phrase it right up.

How are animals celebrating Christmas? Yes, how are animals celebrating Christmas? Does the beaver go anywhere to do anything? Does the bear hibernate? You know what, Peter? They're all just full of joy. All right. Yeah, fuck off.

They're full of joy. They exchange wrapped gifts. I'm not discrediting your question. There's some of them are snoozing. Some of them are under the ground. Come on. What goes on in winter? winter thing with animals. Winter and Christmas

are two different things, sir. Ah, F off, you know what I meant. Sorry, most of them are hibernating. 14 fat tenors talking. All right, relax over there. What am I doing? Denthead. All right, what are you guys? It's like the halfway point through estivation or hibernation. So they're just, they're cozy,

they're fat, they're sleeping in a den. Do they wake up during hibernation ever? Or do they sleep? Yeah, they're not really asleep. They're like in a suspended animation state. This is something that a lot of people actually don't know. And you're talking the mic? People think that hibernation means that like bears sleep for like three or four months.

What are they actually doing? That's honestly what I thought. I had no idea. They are doing that but they're not like sleeping in the sense of like the nighttime sleeping. What are they doing? It's like you're lying on the couch dozing in and out. Like you took 30 a handful of Vicodin. Yeah. That's exactly what it's like. It's an equivalent of like you stayed in Vegas

for three days and you should have only stayed two and then you get home that next day. Exactly. Gotcha. Don't move from couch. You don't eat. So you don't eat? They don't eat? Nope. Don't eat. Do they build campfires in their case? I was filming some, uh, some bears in Yellowstone in the winter that were, you could just see them inside this little like hole in this rock. Uh-huh. You could see the mom and cubs and were

like, oh, we'll get like a B-roll shot of it like from this like lookout point. And, uh, just like while they were mid-hybernation, just the mama bear just like came out and laid in the snow. Yeah. You just like changed positions like by four feet. See, Forrest, this is what I'm talking about. Sure, that's a winter animal behavior, but that's also Christmas behavior. It's like he just had a delicious turkey dinner and had a few glasses of wine. This is how, this is how big. That's right.

This is how animals behave during hibernation, not straight sleep, boom. Yeah, there you go. That's crazy. Good question. Did not know. Thank you. Oh, oh, oh. Like, imagine.

Like, do you think some? idiots ever had the idea of like that knew this and it was just like I'm just gonna go like put a large Domino's pizza next to that sleeping bear just to like spruce up the hibernation dude could you the bear would just be like

just eat it so so gleefully and just go straight back if it was a black bear it would certainly take it back into the cave sit at its picnic table and eat it one slice of a time picnic table while wearing its bandana around its night that's right I don't know Man, like, you know. That's a good question.

It's a curious thing. Great question. What happens? What are animals doing during the wintertime? What happens, okay, for example. Dealing with the insane elements. I mean, that is their job. Right.

Just to deal with. Survive. So what happens, for example, in a lake in, you know, like the Midwest where it's been zero degrees for two months and it's completely frozen over? Like there's frogs in there, there's turtles in there, there's fish in there, all kinds of things. The frogs and the turtles are going underground. They're not staying in the water because they would die.

So they're borrowing and going underground to get beneath the frost. Outside of the water. Outside of the water. Okay. The fish are also in like a somewhat suspended animation state. So when the water cools down that much, they're able to survive, obviously, because they're not freezing. Are they cold-blooded? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. So the fish are eating much, much less and moving very, very slowly. Yeah. And then as the water warms up, they're material. metabolism speeds up, they're able to move more rapidly, and they require more food. In the wintertime, everything's just sort of like slowly cruising around. In that bear state, bear hibernation state.

And then what about the turtles? They dig underground. Outside? Outside of the water. Really? Yeah. In fact, I think we showed this before. Kyle, find the video of the painted turtles defrosting. Oh, yeah.

Do you remember that? The baby painted turtles? That's from probably Chicago area. I think it was. Definitely in the Great Lakes region. Yeah. So if you own these like turtles, for example, this is crazy, dude. I mean, they look, they're dead.

Like you're looking at them. You're like, they're dead. They're frozen. There's literally icicles on them. Do they need to go through this every season or can they, they don't have to? That's so weird how they would prefer not to. Yeah, it's like the boreal frogs, you know? Same thing.

They just freeze into these little ice balls. Yep. So this is like what we're, what we're going to do when we go on a spaceship to Mars. Cryogenics. That's what they want to do. Interesting, man. Yeah, I didn't know. I've always wondered. I knew that when the lake freezes over that everything's

kind of slowed down, but you know, turtles dig underground which is wild. Oh, yeah. Speaking of turtle. Very cool. So do you full disclosure, we're recording this a couple days before Christmas. Yeah, of course. Even though this will come

out either on Christmas or the next day. Yep. your big Zimbabwe and family, do you hang out, is it you, your mom, you guys do a big dinner, Christmas dinner? Yeah. What's the tradition? Beef Wellington. Ah, nice.

One of my absolute favorite people. You make that? Me? Somebody makes it? My mom does. Oh, my God, that's very complicated. Oh, it's, and like massively expensive and huge to involve. Delicious.

You got to get like a big roast. Yeah. Like a nice pot, not a pot roast. I don't know. Yeah, whatever that roast is. Yeah. Yeah. Which is like a $200 piece of meat because you're serving like 10.

12 people. Yeah, yeah. And then wrapped in spinach, wrapped in a patte, and then wrapped in a pastry. A pastry, yeah. And then cooked perfectly. My mom nails it every year. Oh, it's crazy because, like, how do you cook? How do you get that?

I didn't know patty was involved in Newfoundland. Yeah, see it there? This one's wrapped in like ham or what do you call that stuff? Frasuto. Dude, you've got to start this cooking show. Maybe your mom can make an appeal. That does look delightful. It's so good.

It's every food group in one. You've got the bread, the vegetables. Would it be good without the patte or does the patte add something to it? A tech. Patei gives you a little something. It's like a texture, right? A beef tenderloin. So what are the sides that are, that go well with a beef, Follington?

A Yorkshire pudding. You guys know what that is? No. Kyle, if you would. I've heard of it. I know it's British. Fantastic. It's so good.

It's like a little savory muffin. So you cook them in a muffin tin like that. Oh, yeah. But the, so imagine like. It looks like pears. Go to the one that looks like snatches to the left there. Yeah. Yikes.

So. Imagine like a bowl of dough that's deep fried slash baked at the same time in bacon grease. Jesus. Wow. So you get this. Yeah, I want it. Yeah, you want it. It's making my mouth water.

It's like soft and doughy on the inside, golden and crispy on the outside. And then you get all the juices from the beef Wellington. They go in that little like cup that you see there. Oh my God. That's what's going on there. And then either mashed potatoes like, oh, they have veggies or golden roasted potatoes. Yeah, yeah. Classic.

Yeah. That's our Christmas meal. Dude, see, this is what should be served for Christmas and Thanksgiving. there. See the inside texture? What's going to... Ooh, yeah. What's going to be served at the Retepe House this year? I mean, honestly, I haven't any thought about it.

We do kind of, like, Christmas over here with our stuff, and then my wife's Jewish, or they have Hanukkah. Her mom cooks for us, like, these meals all the time. But you guys have elaborate meals. Well, yes, that's what I was going to say. On Thanksgiving, we did the whole thing with the turkey, everything you hate. Yeah, yeah. So do that.

So, you know, it's a little interesting because Hanukkah is more... It's always... almost like you take the impact of Christmas on one day and you spread it out for like 10 days or whatever it is. Every one small as opposed to one giant. Yeah. So, I mean, it's not like it's just not as big of a thing. But so we'll probably go over there a few times for dinner and she's going to cook some amazing shit. Are you in a little as kosher?

No. Oh. I don't know what that. That'd be really funny to do like bacon wrap lobsters and take it over and be like, ha ha. What's going on over at the old, uh, you an Italian again? Casa d'i. Well, we do that on Christmas Eve. Marco's pizza.

Oh, Marcos. No, I do the manicotti. Do some little appetizer pizzas. We always do an Italian smorgas board on Christmas Eve. Nice. That's good. Typically, I'm with my brother, my older brother's family, and he will do a seafood-based thing on Christmas. Which does not massively appeal to you.

I like seafood. It'll be good, you know. It's good, yeah. You know, massive thing. You guys go to Florida? No, don't know yet. We might do it in Arizona. still being discussed.

Gotcha. With three days to go. Yeah, good. So you're not doing anything. No, they're meeting in Arizona, we're deciding if we're going to road trip it.

Gotcha. Yeah. So we might just like, as soon as tonight, might just have to go. What do you got a three week old? Yeah. Yeah.

Dude. So we combine one other thing I'll say about this and we can move on. We combine Jessica's family tradition with ours. So on our Christmas Eve, we do appetizers dinner. Love that.

So you sit around the tree and it's just apps. It's just egg rolls and like deviled eggs. Deviled eggs. Shrimp cocktail. Like whatever apps you feel like. So good.

Mitty Keishas like literally go to the Costco. You just go to Trader Joe's it sounds like. Tjays. Yeah. And just pick all the junkiest garbage. I'm not talking about like fancy. Yeah. Yeah.

Mini Kishas that go in the oven. Pizza bite or pizza bites. Toto's pizza rolls. Dude, I am getting hungry. I can take down. I'm not joking. I can take down a thousand. I can take down a thousand in a day.

Dude, 100%. As long as they're not too hot. Because they'll burn the shit. There's a eight-second difference between perfect and exploded all over the oven. And cold. Yeah, 100%. Well, let me ask you a quick question, since this is an animal podcast. Negronies?

Do you? Oh, yeah, but they're gross. I mean, you just kind of... They're so good. They don't like the gronies? No, no, I like... It tastes like a pine tree, dude. Here's a thing.

I like to drink them, but they're disgusting. That's true. Yeah, exactly. I mean, that could be said about most drinks. I'm going to make one as soon as we finish this. So, do you guys include your pets in your, uh, Holiday festivities. What do you think my answer to that is?

Do you think I have a choice? Well, I'm asking, like, do you feed your snakes, turkey? Do you think that if I went to my wife and was like, hey, we're not getting the dog a stocking full of $150 worth of stupid gifts that he doesn't want? Chewy gifts. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that would go over well in my house?

Does she do stockings for the guinea file? That's what I was going to say, Forrest. What about the other animals? The donkey. No, no, no. Yes, actually. The horse and donkey get like a special Christmas meal. Do you ever put a Santa hat on them?

We have done for photographs in the past. The birds don't get anything, and then the dogs get spoiled rotten. I might come over next weekend, if I'm allowed to. You are. And I'd love to see, you know, I want to bring my kids and have the donkey with the hat on, and I want to feed it a beef wellington. Maybe not that part, but you can feed him some carrots. All right, what about the animals you hate the most?

The pheasant, or what is it? That's where I asked. The guinea fox. Oh, the guinea file? I would love nothing more than to mow them down and roast them for Christmas. I would rather eat bad stringy guinea fowl than beef Wellington just to get rid of them. It's Christmas. It is.

It's the season of giving. We spent nothing but the entire podcast talking about Christmas. That's correct. I think we give the Brosners a special gift. What's that? You ready for it? It's going to blow your mind. Go ahead.

Two battle royals. I like God. No. Yep. Are you for you kidding me? Yep. Do you know what time it is? What time?

What? All right, here we go. Good. In a Tim Allen Christmas fiasco, you have killed Santa and been assigned to pull Santa's sleigh around the globe. Oh, no. But you somehow also murdered his reindeer. Ah, shit. This is the plot of my Christmas movie.

It sounds like a boat was involved. Yeah, yeah. You were drinking and boating. Yeah. So now you have his sleigh, but you have to create an animal. You'll get nine of them to use instead of the rain. Yeah. Oh, this is great.

You have to pick the head, body and limbs, head slash body slash limbs, whatever. Yeah. Lots of special power. Head, the body and limbs come together. That's what I'm trying to say. And then a special power. So, so quick question.

Do we have to pick a animal with flight ability? Do reindeer fly? Can I ask you that? Out of my ass. All right. No, that's the joy of, that's the Christmas spirit. Okay, okay. Because you're going to have to give them flight.

Okay. Okay. Is that way to do that? I'll tell you this. Okay, go ahead. All right. And it's body, legs special ability.

It's head, the body and limbs and the special ability. And then a special ability. Ah, you see, this one was right in my wheelhouse. Obviously,

I'm picking my old friend. The octopus. He's going to help me. He's going to help me with all the gifts. What type of, what are you taking? It's head or it's body?

No, it's body. With the tentacles, obviously. Yeah, yeah. It's head. What the hell you tell you tell you. By the way, the octopus's brain is in its tentacles anyways. What do I need its head for?

Yeah, but I do like the pick. Can you imagine if any children stare up and see that in the sky? That's a nightmare. It's literally nine. Oh, my God. Nine tentacled creatures. That's 81, no, octo. 72 tentacles flapping in the air.

Terrifying. No, but it's a good pick. I think it's going to be practical, you know, and help me out a lot when I'm delivering gifts to all the children in the world. Okay. Pat. I'm going to take the body of a sailfish. Interesting.

I will not be delivering my presence from the sky. I will be seafaring. It's a very Florida. So anybody inland won't be getting gifts this year? Tough hit. I got the whole world to deal with. Look at this shirt. You're a bad Santa.

So I'm taking the insane, fast swimming ability of a sailfish. Okay. They're fast, right? Very. Okay. Sorry, that's their ability or body? What were you going with? Well, I'm taking the body.

I mean, it's built into that body to swim fast. It is. Okay. I'm up for two. So I like the idea of children hearing the hooves on the roof. The iconic silhouette of the reindeer. Yep, yep. I'm not going to pick that, obviously, because that's snooze.

It picks the reindeer. But I'm going to go, I'm going to keep it in that family. So instead, I'm going to do a nice American Antelope body. Very springy, very agile, very fast. Okay. And when you look up, it's not going to be as horrifying as seeing eight legs on each creature dangling in the air. Okay. Okay.

I mean, so let me just clarify. The object of this better royal isn't to have the cutest animal or the meanest, biggest, baddest animal. It's to be able to deliver the most presence. This is the fastest antelope in North America. I'm just saying. Okay. One of the fastest animals in the world. I'm just saying.

Okay. Now, I am going to give it. and I'll come back to my head, the special abilities of a spider monkey. Ooh, which is... Cal's going to show you here. Now, I have nine of these prehensile-tailed, incredibly agile creatures. Yeah. That's nine times more presents that I'm going to be able to deliver.

Nine times. I'm going to land on a roof. They're just going to go, br-hmm, boom, boom, boom, boom, each chimney. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going on the sleigh drinking dog. I'm not going down a single chimney. You know what, dude? The pre-hensile tail, uh,

I was talking about more Park Zoo. Watching those things in person, it's insane. It's another like hand. It's crazy. Oh yeah. That's a good pick. And using that to deliver gifts, way more appropriate sized for chimney deliveries.

Than my octopus? Yes, they are. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they're fitting down a lot of chimneys. Yeah. True. Okay, that's a good pick. That is a good pick.

Smart. All right, so I'm delivering my presence by sea. We're going to also be delivering presents to a lot of boaters. Of course. Any boat we pass, we're going to stop. You must. Come to the surface. And I want this to go very viral.

I want people to know that there's a new Santa doing a new thing. Yeah, it's a whole different ballgame. So when I emerge from the sea, I want them to see the head of my sailfish creature. Okay. I'm going to take the head of a stellar sea ape. Stellar sea ape? Let's get a look at one of these things. Okay.

Okay. Why? Wait so you see it. I don't know what it is. The hell are you talking about? This is ludicrous. What? Is this his pick?

You're just trying to clear everybody out of their house so you can walk through the door and clear that head on a sailfish body and a man's riding it in a red suit? This is going to be insane. He's not riding it. He's in a sleigh and nine of them are pulling it. Wait, do you really don't know about Stellar C.A? No, I know nothing. The same guy who named the Sea Eagle and the C. C.C.

Came up with a stellar C.A. C.A. Claims that he saw a. swimming ape. Oh, so this is not a real creature. Come on. Are you discrediting stellar? What's named after you? How many species? Good point. Zero. All right. I like it. It's a very different take. I think it's real stupid. Is it my turn? Yeah. So add to your octopus body and tentacles. By the way, I just want to tell you, I haven't picked octopus intentionally for many, many moons. Saving it for this. So I'm going to go. I'm going to go

ahead and go with the special ability of the which one's faster? The paragon falcon or the harpy? Paragon falcon. I'm going with the Peregrine falcon. You also haven't picked that in two weeks. Quiet.

So, obviously, the reason for this is we're trying to deliver the presence fastest. Pat's animal literally can't even leave the sea, which is ridiculous. So you're going to fly really, really high? Because they're only really fast when they're

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter where I go. It doesn't matter how high I go. The speed's only going to apply on the descent. I'm going to have an octopus with eight tentacles, one present loaded in each. And by the way, I'll sit on a roof. They'll spread out. They'll go to fucking. You can't steal my thing.

You can't come over and steal my thing now. My fucking octopus, peregrine falcon guys can go to any eight houses at once. That's literally my thing. All your stupid monkeys can do is go into the same house from different orifices. I'm, okay, fine. I don't think it's going to work. I can't even take pets seriously right now. This animal can't leave the sea.

I don't need to. Okay. And then my final pick, what is it, a body or something? Or a head? I'd probably give it a head. A head? Yeah, I'd probably put a head on it. Yeah.

So I want my head to elicit a cuddly, cute response. And for that, I'm just going to give it the head of a golden retriever. That's something. What a mess. What? Eight arms, Paragrin Falcon diving with a beautiful, dude. if my animal gets into the house and gets caught by a child, instead of them seeing a fat man and a red suit,

they're going to see a golden retriever head that they're going to want a pet. Okay. Fair enough. All right. Fair enough. Thank you. What do I have here?

Oh, special ability. Navigation is going to be a problem for me. It already is. It already is. But I'm not going to be able to bring my iPhone deep under the water to navigate. Some good cases these days. Yeah, so I'm going to take the special ability of a homing pigeon. Okay, that's good.

They're going to help me navigate around using the poles. So are you just delivering the houseboats? Like, I don't understand what's happening here. No. He's Santa that lives in Lake Mead. No, anyone who has oceanfront property and is already rich will get a bonus present. I'm sorry, Pat, but this is your worst pick ever. This is nearly your worst pick ever.

I like this. Oh, because I just want to point something out. Your guys' creatures can't fly. No, they can. We said at the beginning. We said at the beginning. You said, oh, rainiers can't fly either. Yeah, we did say that.

Can't fly. I wasn't listening to that part. I got one more. When I decided to only give one-tenth of the world's population. I mean, technically, we could allow your stupid sea creature to fly. Oh, I can also fly. Yeah. So you can fly, but still, it's stupid because I'm mostly focus on coastal dwellings.

Yeah. Regardless, you're going to give it to only a little. ocean front property. I love that you and me, Pat, both need to keep our animals moist with water the whole time. True. It's like a spritzing up a whole. It's constantly spritzing. Oh, here comes a rainstorm. We're good. All right. I have one to go. I'm going to go a hard, different direction. The idea of a child sitting up waiting for Santa to come down the chimney is infuriating because as a young parent, I want my children asleep by 730. Yeah, they're not allowed. That means they snuck out and broke the rules. And if you're sitting there trying to

them to go to bed because they're so excited. I want them to be terrified when my spider monkey laden-laden-antelope comes down. So I'm going to put the giant head of an eye-eye on to this thing. So as that spider-monkey antelope comes down the chimney, you're going to, right at them, they're gone. They're running back to bed, screaming. I think this is brilliant. You should be terrified.

See, like, I went the direction of like, oh, they'll just pet them, but you're right. Because you want them to go back to bed, not hang out. I slept two hours last night. Look at me. I'm a mess. Although quite frankly, that's why I sound like this. I slept two and my whoops says I slept two and a half hours last night. I would be more terrified of a dog head on an octopus body than I would have this eye on an aloeuvic. Nobody cares.

You made a seafaring creature for your Santa Claus in. Which can also fly. All right, weigh in in the comments. Let us know who won the Battle Royale. Let us know whose creature you'd like to deliver your presence in holiday season. You know what? Would it be a creature that can only fly or one that can fly and also swim really fast? So for those of you that own million dollar oceanfront property,

or houseboats. I want, if anybody out there is savvy, savvy with the AI that's out there, I would love to have just a short story, a short Christmas story about Forest's animal. Like as a, what's that one that they have? Crompus. The Crompice. What would you name this animal? I don't know if you guys have seen it talking about holiday movies.

I have not seen Cranth. Oh my God. Is it good? I haven't seen it. It's fantastic. Kyle, pull it up real quick, just so Pat can see it all about it. Before us quick, before he pulls it up. What would you name your animal with the I-I-I-Head?

iPos. I-puss will be the name of the movie. Create it with AI, a short story. Christmas, I've got to watch Crampus. Dude, it's so good. Adam Scott. Looks great. All right, let's roll the entire two-and-a-half-hour crampus movie

and sit here and watch it. I would love it. So a listener actually wrote to me, and they just wanted to know simply, if you could spend your Christmas anywhere this year, where would you want to go? I will be in Northern Finland. in one of those

Snow globe Snow globes be drinking a nice glass of mulled wine That's nice Northern Lights Does that happen this time of year? I don't know Oh you son of a bitch

That's the perfect pick Yeah that's the perfect pick That's where I'm at That's nice Same thing can I Can I? No Okay

Can I go with you? My globe Yeah with you Yeah That's the perfect pick Maybe you guys can get Your vasectomies there Dude

That's a great idea That's a great idea Yeah I've always wanted to do this Be nice and cold You gotta ice your balls In my mind, I was with, you know, my wife. Of course. But it could just be me and forest icing our nutsacks.

Yeah. All right. I'm going to pick, I just found out about this place, the lodge in Canada that has the giant, it's similar to Pat's Glass Walls, but where the wolves come by and sit. Oh, you've seen that? Yeah. What's that called? It's on, I've seen this on Instagram. Yeah. Canada.

I saved it. Oh, my God. There's a better one than that in the snow. Kyle, see, keep, keep digging. Yeah. There's a video adventure. That right there. I mean, you got to be kidding.

Look at that. Oh my God. That is fantastic. That, except like in a Dan Bilzerian situation where there's like nine women. Sure. I was like, what are you talking about? What's this called, man? People go check this out.

I sent it to Jess the other day. I was like, we must. Oh, wow. It's near Montreal. Yeah. Wow. Dude, I think I need a Montreal winter trip. Look at this.

There's all this. That's crazy. There's one, two, three, four wolves right up. outside a giant glass. Thanks for counting those out. For the listeners. For a video. Ice skating woods, Montreal area. Dude, did you see that little kid just looking at that giant wolf right out the window?

The perfect Christmas. That's wild. So, like, half hour north of Montreal, they've set up like a hundred miles where you can just ice skate through these forests. Oh, my God. Every like five or ten miles, there's a place to stop and get a cocktail. That is amazing. This is where I want to be.

It looks awesome. This is literally where I want to be for Christmas. You go and spend three nights at the wolf place and then you ice skate and drink cocktails. Montreal, that's where I want to go for Christmas. Just through like these like dense ass forests. Dude. And you're just skating around.

Then there's a little hut man. Amazing. That is the most brilliant idea that any human has ever come up with by the way. Real quick. Have you guys seen the video lately? Into the mic. I getting chased by the bear on the drone. No.

Negative. We also still have to hear Peter's pick, by the way. I think it's fake. You think it's fake? Bear drone chase, bear drone trace. Is drone video bear chasing a man in real snow? It's a good one. Let's see it. Let's see it. It says true.

Oh, I did see this. Oh, I know what it is. I haven't seen it. It was, I think it was his bear. This was set up. Oh, okay. That's his bear. This is some good drone work right here.

Yeah, it's FPV. Damn. Yeah, that's his bear. Yeah, that's definitely not a wild bear. Yeah, no. It's like goofing around. Break it down as a biologist. Yeah, I mean, it's not a wild bear.

stopped and looked at the drone. It's like, that's like the equivalent of going for a jog and your dog's chasing you for fun. That's what it looks like. That's what it is. It's very cool. It's real, but it's not, that's not a bear trying to eat him. Not to mention that, if the bear wanted to close the distance on that guy, it would have done it. One second. What kind of, is that a, is that a grizzly? It's a brown bear. What's the difference between a grizzly and a brown bear? Essentially nomenclature. Oh, okay. I mean, like, Alaskan brown bears are different than

grizzly bears. They're just a lot bigger. How fast can a brown bear? Orssonland is another thing that they... Forest, how fast can a brown bear run? I don't know. 40 miles an hour, probably. But you wouldn't think. Yeah, it's like 40 miles an hour. Yeah, something like that.

Through that snow too? Like that guy's got boots on. It's not fake. It's real. It's just that bear is a pet bear or domestic bear or something. So don't do that in real life because the bear will catch you. That was one of those Russian videos.

That's just so Russian. Right? Yes. Anything with a bear is typically Russian. But just like bear, snow, shenanigans. Like, I'm surprised there wasn't a citizen. Cinder block getting thrown off of something.

What does that even mean? There's like all these Russian videos where guys just like throwing cinder blocks off of buildings. You're like, why is this happening? That's so funny. All right. What's your last thing? You know, I'm going against the grain guys. Listen, I love, I love Christmas, but I'm going to Hawaii.

Fuck off. Hawaii, baby. There's going to be Christmas in 80 degree weather with humidity. Your wife's in a nice Christmas bikini. Oh, yeah. Santa bikini. My wife is hot. Good for you, man.

Well, she is because she's in Hawaii. She's hot. I love her. All right. Well, I hope you've enjoyed this. Listen. We have. Merry Christmas.

We do it once a year. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays to all. We do six podcasts a month. Only two of them are on YouTube and Spotify. Unless you go subscribe on Spotify. You'll get six ad free. You'll get six.

He just did that. Wow. With ten fingers. Good. Six ad free podcasts a month. Go check it out. Spotify. Also Patreon. Wild Times.

Dot Club forward slash info to get to all those links for everything. All the latest stuff from us is at wild times. dot club forward slash info. Six ad free podcasts a month. Check it out. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays. We love you.

What's a nice Hanukkah. Happy Hanukkah. Everything. All of it. Oh yeah. You better edit that out, Kyle. That flubber. Thanks man. That's the nicest body.

It's the only way I can sit on this couch.