Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Woman Attacked by Dingo in Australia - The Wild Times Ep. 125

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

This week we discuss a dingo attacking a woman in Australia, do a cute baby animal bracket and a baby battle royale! Subscribe to The Wild Times Podcast on YouTube ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod Get YouTube Membership Perks ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVl7fHhUOpFK8Mpv-6DdoOg/join Get Up To 4 Bonus Podcasts Per Month ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod Watch More Episodes Here ▶▶ https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLP... Visit https://thewildtimespodcast.com/ now! Join The Wild Times Discord Server: https://discord.gg/ytzKBbC9Db Get your Wild Times Podcast merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Leave a review on iTunes Apple Podcast: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/itune... Follow The Wild Times Podcast on socials: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wildtimespod/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespod Twitter: https://twitter.com/WildTimesPod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/ Listen to The Wild Times Podcast on: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cbFBzf... Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Google: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0... Anchor.fm: https://anchor.fm/wildtimespod/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod Enjoy, brosteners! TWT 125 - The Breakdown 00:00 - Intro 02:41 - IPA Story 10:36 - Dingo Bite 17:40 - Baby Animal Bracket 53:50 - Battle Royale 1:03:41 - Outro Jingles made by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-tire/ #wildtimespod #podcast

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This is the Wild Times episode number 125. Cheers, guys. Oh, yeah. This is the Wild Times podcast, the greatest podcast in the entire world, where we hang out, talk about wildlife, animals, all kinds of fun. If you haven't heard any of our other 124 episodes, don't check them out. They're very good. I'm your host, Forrest Galante, the broologist, joining me on my left, the ever-lovely,

the effervescent. Papa P himself, the broducer. How are you? This is one of the best days of my life. I'm just going to say that. You know, we all decided we're going to get together. Delicious. Looks good.

Oh, wait, hold on. So I gave Forrest, Fat Tire. Not to interrupt. I'm sorry. I feel like an asshole. You're totally interrupting. It was like ridiculous. I just looked at you to know if it was a good beer.

That's all. No, so Fat Tire sent us through Instacart a bunch of fat tires. and then some IPAs that get you real good and loopy. Really good. And that's a... It's very fruity. That's a...

I don't even like one of their IPAs. That's good. Really good. Really good. What one's that? I don't know. Voodoo Ranger. Juice force.

That's why because it's a juicy thing. There's a little hint. What's the alcohol content on this bad? Oh, boy. Nine something. If I look, it hurts. It's not nine. I swear to God.

It's nine something. No, he's right. It's not nine. Nine point five. Nine point five, that packs a whalop. because here's the thing, because of that little bit of juice, I would drink those fast.

I'm going to go through this very, very quickly. I'm more excited about the beer today than I am. Well, that's what I was going to say that this is one of the best days in my life because we decided we're going to record on the Monday to get the podcast out. Yep. We said nobody book any work for Monday. Haven't. Extending the weekend to a third day.

It's a nice choice. Cracking an ice cold fat tire at noon. It's a great choice. It just, I literally have. have the feeling like I woke up on vacation today. It's the most unstressed, de-stress, stress-free I have been in weeks. Also, I know what's in store for this podcast. I think it's going to be one of the best ones we've ever.

Yeah. I quit my job recently because we got Fat Tire as a sponsor. Yeah. And I've never been happier to take an extra day on the weekend. So, cheers. Cheers. And who are you? We're introducing.

We're still doing introductions. And beyond Pat is the bro, what are you? The professor. The professor. I've had two steps. Yeah, he's fucked up. He's a professor. Let's get into the good stuff.

Yeah, let's go. I mean, if the podcast goes anything like this intro goes, we're fucked. Cheers, mates. All right, let's get into it. Here we go. All right. Have I ever told you guys the IPA story with Jessica? No.

Oh, it's really funny. Let's have it. Better be. Right into it. Right when, do you remember when IPAs came out and they were super trendy? It's like, what, six years ago, five, six years? Yeah, they've been popular for like 10 years. Yeah, okay, whatever.

but it's called it's called yeah eight years ago ish yeah like when the whole craft beer it was the whole thing and breweries were popping up everywhere it's a place called llama dog opened in santa barbara i think i've taken you there i think so yeah yeah really good beer really heavy beer and there's this kid and we go to rugby practice and uh i was still like actively playing not just going to touch and like had a big hard training and then guys were like yeah beers at lomadog we're like yeah for sure let's go you roll over to lomadog oh you know where Lama Dog is the same place where the fucking whistleblower guy, like, oh, yeah, threatened to get his bulletproof vest. Where he threatened you.

Do you know who I am? Nobody does. Same exact bar. And so it's Thursday night. We finish up with training. We go to Lama Dog. It's still light out. It's like midsummer.

And we sit down. Wait, what time were you talking? Six. It's got to be right at eight. What a good feeling. Eight o'clock light out. Just worked out hard. Getting a briske.

Yeah. Getting beers with your boys. we sit down and this kid starts running his mouth. I've known he was like 13 years old. I coached him and youth rugby everything. He starts running his mouth. And now you're coaching him to be a booze hound. Yeah, starts running his mouth and he's like

dude, I was here last weekend. I drank three double APAs didn't feel a thing. And we're like, okay, well, challenge accepted. And he keeps running his mouth. He keeps running his mouth. He's like, it's fine. I can drink three large double IPAs. I don't even get a buzz off of it. What's the alcohol percentage of that thing?

This one is 6.A. But the other one I was having was nine. Okay, well, these were in that like eight, nine range. Yes. So we're like, all right, fine. And I was like, I'm getting all worked up. I was like, I'm buying you three double IPAs right now. You have 20 minutes to finish them. And if you finish them in 20 minutes and you don't feel anything like you win. Like I'll pay for all your food, everything. He's like, bring it on. Easy. And I'm like, great. So go to the bar. I hate this guy. Yeah. He's young. We're all idiots at this age. Buy him three, you know, double IPAs. They're pints. Sure. 16 ounces. Yeah. Three.

double IPAs, put him down in front of them. You know, it's like, he's not, he's not chugging him. He's got 30 minutes to drink him. Yeah. And, uh, we're drinking him. Oh, sorry. Does he have 20 or 30? Sorry, I think it was, I think it was 20.

I want to say it was 20. That's ridiculous. Okay. Yeah. You know how hard it is just to drink a double IPAs. It's a lot of volume. Yeah. Not just the volume, but it's like heavy and.

Yeah. Anyway, but the story takes a turn because we all know where this is going, but it takes a turn. So where, let's say it was 20 minutes. I don't remember anymore as years ago. Let's say you had a 20 minute limit. it, okay? Yeah. I'm glad we spent 20 minutes on that. Yeah, exactly. At minute 16 of

20, Jessica calls me and she's crying. I'm like, what's wrong sweetheart? She's like, my grandma has just gone into emergency surgery. They don't think she's going to make it. Oh my God. And where are you? And I was like, oh, I'm at Lama Dog. I was like, come and get some food, you know, this is nothing we could do.

Her grandma lives in Washington. I'm like, come and get some food. She just needed you. Yeah, like come here. I'll give you a hug, hang out with the guys, and we'll, uh, you know, we'll just chill and, and then we'll go home together. And she's like, okay, that actually sounds great. Like, I need to get my mind off it. This is like minute 16 again of 20, right? She walks in and, uh, as she walks in, I'm like, hi, sweetie. I was like, I just ordered you a burger, you know, grow, grab it, whatever, and it's at the counter. She walks over and then we're looking at and there's still a full double IPA. And we're like, dude,

minute 18, let's go. And he's like, fuck. And he's like, he's already clearly drunk, sweating. Yeah. Eyes are glazed over. let's go let's go and the timing could not have been more fortuitous my crying wife walks over with her hamburger okay she's wearing a low cut v-neck shirt I like the sound of that tasty

we're like chanting as chugging the last of his double ICA and we're like looking at the clock and he puts it down was he talking into the mic when he told a story or can you shut the fuck up we're sitting at one of those long bar tables and as my wife who's all red-eyed, everybody's given her their condolence, sits down with her burger in her low-cut shirt,

goes across the table, into her chest, all over her hamburger. Like, down her shirt in the v-neck, all over the hamburger. I got in the burger too. All over the food. Horrific. Like dark brown double IPA.

Was she hysterically laughing or so angry? No, so upset, so angry. She's, She stands up. Again, her eyes are red from crying. She stands up. She's been at the bar for under two minutes. Yeah.

She stands up, takes her shirt off in this public bar because she's covered in puke. Yeah. Throws her shirt at and is like, I'm going home and just walks out of the bar. And he's just like holding his head so embarrassed. Shit face drunk. And all the guys are laughing hysterically. And I'm like, I have to go home right now. It's pretty good.

Just a question later of that. night did uh did did you guys bang i mean taking the shirt off in the bar no that was pretty that was good that's lewd and lascivious behavior that was not where that was going i do i i i'll tell you the i i do find it it's just amusing with forest even painting the the picture of the initial story is funny because you've seen it in a movie the guy's wife is like crying you knew she was getting puked on but no but i mean like you know she's she's like crying she's really upset and you as the guy like convinced her to come and do your thing yeah come to you hey i got you a burger go get it and then she gets there and you're like in the middle like looking at her hey i have 16

minutes yeah yeah that's exactly how it went he's like yeah i'm really sorry about your grandma tick-tuck yeah exactly move it or losing the last time i puked from booze i'll never forget the feeling i know exactly where i was i was 20 years old i was in fraser island in australia and just got hamered at the bar and just fucking puked all over the bar. And that's a, Fraser Island's an interesting,

I mean, there's like one bar, it's by that campsite area. Exactly. Yeah. Have I, happened in bar? Have I ever told you guys

about like when I started drinking the first? Wait, wait, you're really gonna kill that segue? Such a perfect segue to the news story. Oh, I had no idea. But it's true. That really is the last time I peeped.

It was such a, a good perfect second. Kyle was giving the applause. Literally, Kyle was like, I didn't know what we were talking about. Can I dog leg us back to aliens? All right. Edit. No, no edit. That's got to stay in.

Listen, I'm not looking at the fucking monitor. Some hot BTS. All right. Well, with that point now that our seamless transition set up by the ProD. It's perfect. It's been completely smashed. Bit of news. Yeah. Bit of news. Fraser Island, the last place Pat ever

puked from drinking. And by the way, that really is true. I believe you. Like halfway through your story, I was like, please let this end in puk Because I have such a good transition Oh my God. Thanks, Peter. It worked out great.

Works out even better. All right. Fraser Islands in the news, eh? Hey, guys, if you're enjoying, whoops. Guys, if you like The Wild Times, check us out on Patreon. We put out four extra podcasts per month. That's one commute a week that you're just going to be laughing and learning the whole time in the car.

I do something else. This is the late night content, the stuff that we, we, we, can't show on on YouTube because they'll kick us off YouTube. It's the cinemax of podcasts. Uncensored, raw dog. It's the cinemax of podcasts. Check it out. Link right here. LinkedIn is pretty amazing at helping you grow your small business. We cannot make your email response time faster. We can help you sell market and hire in one place. We cannot help you find space for your three desk drinks. Why do you have three? And while we can't help you find the perfect volume for your presentation video,

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With all nine essential amino acids to help build muscle Give you energy and keep you satisfied longer So keep it real. Look for the seal. Real California milk Fraser Island is in the news. First of all they've renamed it to Kagari. Kagari? I don't know. It's been renamed recently.

So when I first read it, I was like, I've never heard of this place. Yeah. It's Fraser Island. Oh, how am I supposed to know your name? talking about Fraser Island. It's not even in the title. I'm looking at it. Like, what the hell are they talking about? I see Kagari. So for those who don't know, Fraser Islands is massive island off the coast of Australia. Beautiful. Like big sand dunes, clear water. Eastern Australia. This is what it looks like. Beautiful. Pat and I have both been there separately

not together. But Fraser Island is notorious for having the highest density of dingoes anywhere in the world. Dingoes, you know, having arrived in Australia, four-ish thousand years ago, never massive huge populations except for some reason on Fraser Island. Did you see them when you're there? I've got a great dingo story. I think I've told it, but like 80 podcasts ago,

but they're everywhere. They're running through the campsite. Everywhere. There are wild dingoes in the interior by the hundreds. Yep. That you're just walking and there's dingoes and if you're over five, six,

they don't fuck with you. Right. If you're like 4.11, they might. However, there was a woman who I'm guessing was under five, six, who was jogging and ended up going to the hospital when one dingo seeked her out and then began to attack her. And she ran into the ocean to evade the dingo attacks. And the dingoes followed her into the ocean. Jesus. Yeah. And I think it says, if you scroll down there somewhere, Kyle,

she got bitten like six or seven times. Like they really, they really nailed her. What the fuck? Yeah. Are dingoes just that aggressive? They're wild canids. They're weird because are they aggressive? No. It's like saying is a coyote aggressive, but under the right circumstance, they switch on. And especially in there that pack mentality, that henhouse syndrome that we've talked about. Yeah. They seem to just go a little bit nuts. And this isn't the first time. There's been a couple bites in Fraser. Some kid got pulled out of their tent, I believe, in Fraser Island. Yeah. When I was there, I had not left Australia yet and there was a fatal attack on a mother and a child. fatal attack. On Fraser as well? On Frazier, yeah. So it was like a couple months. Dude.

Yeah. I'm like, that's insane. But look at this. It's been, so one of the dingoes involved in attacking this woman was already like being monitored because it had just attacked a six year old. Some bad behavior on time out. So like in the last couple months there's been several different, um,

dingo bites. And this is from habituation, by the way. This is because as Patrick said, these dingoes are really. running through the campsites. They're picking up people's garbage and eating it. They're used to humans. They're around humans. Yeah.

So, you know, they get like this. Oh, my God. Look at this. Here's the dingo biting this chick on her G string, which is quite something. This is a separate occasion, but. Different occasions. Yeah, look at them. So, see, they're just cruising around.

I walked up. So, by the way, this beach, look at the fucking balls on these. Are you kidding me? He just wanted a rump stank. I would fucking kick that bitch right in the face, dude. Are you fucking kidding? You're talking about the lady or the, No, the dog.

The dog. Dude, if it was even coming near my ass to sniff, it's getting a direct-as-sleep and nobody was like, hey, Sally. I mean, what the-oh, she got a little nip on the buttocks. She's got a nice tuckus. Like, I get what he's doing, you know? That beach, I think, is where the shipwreck is that a lot of people go to see. So we were, we were, um, fuck these dangos, dude. They're cute, though, aren't they?

Dude, I-looking dog. That happened because she panicked like that. It was sort of walking away. If she had sat up and been sort of aggressive towards it, it would have, like, panicked and run away. Yeah. But because she, like, got up and fled, that's just predator brain kicking in.

That's like, whoop, you know, like, and you could see that he was not, what on earth are you pulling up there, Kyle? He was not attacking her. He was, like, doing that, like, dog nip hurting type incident. By the way, like, fuck these dingoes. What, how are they, why are there so many of these there? I don't know.

It's a good question. I think maybe just. good habitat. Dingoes are indigenous to Australia, I believe. As of 4,000 or so years ago. Maybe it's 10,000. Look that up. I think they relocated a lot of dingoes to Fraser Island. I think humans

are involved. It's like an assurance colony. I'm not sure, but I very vaguely remember. It's like having a shitty pet dog around. Humans brought the dogs to Fraser Island. And now the dogs are taking over. The idea is that dingoes may have swummed to Fraser Island.

Really? Well, this is interesting. It's thought that humans further, oh, further brought the dogs. They just invaded this fucking islands. You know that dingoes aren't, I don't know, a lot of people don't know this. Dingoes are not like an African wild dog. Dingoes are some Australasian, like Indonesian pet that were brought with people when people first settled Australia. There were no, yeah, they're like an invasive species, but because they've been there so long, they're seen as iconic.

Basically, by the time the white people got there, they're like, oh, these things are native. And then it turns out they're not. When Aboriginal people first settled that area, when they came across like the Australasia, New Guinea, and down, they brought their hunting dogs with them, which is what dingoes are. Interesting. Did they go from being like domesticated animals back to being wild animals? So they're never domesticated the way we think of domesticated animals, right? Like they weren't sleeping on their feet and stuff like that. They'd bring them along as hunting dogs.

And then, you know, they'd sleep outside and run wild and stuff like that. But yeah, they basically just went fully feral. If, I mean, somebody should back check all of this. But it's pretty well known that they came with people. And then they just took over Australia, basically. So I knew that we had a Fraser Island story. I had not, I didn't know how it ended. I thought you were going to say that she ran into the ocean and just got tagged by 15 tiger sharks.

There's so many tiger sharks there. It's crazy. So it's pretty crazy. There's, you can't swim on that fucking beach. They can't swim. They tell you do not swim. It's illegal.

They'll arrest you. And so if you go up to, like there's a cliff where you can overlook the beach. And see the tiger sharks? And that's what it looks like, dude. Oh, I just see tiger sharks everywhere.

I've never seen that. I didn't see that many. But I saw probably seven or eight tiger sharks. I was like, holy shit. They're really just hanging out in the shallows. It's nice that the animals are taking this territory over. We should just leave.

leave. Humans should just leave the island. Dude, if you haven't, if you're thinking about going to Australia, like it's a really fun adventure place to go Fraser Island for like two, three days, like fucking just like crazy river floats through jungle. Oh, nice. That sounds huge sand dunes

with a lake at the bottom. You just roll down it. It's fucking awesome. There's also a super cool endemic species of turtle there. I have pictures, but it's called Fraser Island Shortneck Turtle. Let's see what the thing looks like. Colonian nigra.

Maybe Drew will find it at the Reptile Roadshow. Yeah, there you go. There you go. Chalonian Niagara, is that what he's called? I don't know. It doesn't matter. Yeah, Frasier Island Shortening. Nope.

Amidura Nigra. Yeah, this little guy, beautiful. They get pitch black shells and they're everywhere in those freshwater legs. It's a good-looking turtle. Yeah, they're good turtles. Dingoes, though. You ever seen a dingo pup? Like a little baby dingo?

I haven't, but I'm assuming it's like a puppy and it's adorable. It's ungod. Look at these things. Dude, all. all animals, a hippo, a dangerous hippo is cute as a baby. Actually, I would venture to say the more deadly and dangerous, the cuter the baby. Yes. Like hippo babies are the cutest.

The only species that has ugly babies is humans. Has anyone ever thought about like, hey, what's? Look at that. Are you kidding me? If I could have any pet, any pet. I know I've said wombat before, it would be a baby hippo that never. It never gets any bigger. Yeah, it just lives in my little coy pond out my back door, and it looks like that.

It's all fat and wrinkly like that. It looks like a fucking pug. Well, let me just throw something out there. Yeah. For anyone who's listening or watching, if you've ever wanted to know what's the cutest baby animal, you're about to find out. We're going to tell you. We're going to do a cute baby animal, Brad. Look at that segue.

He has no idea what's going on. He was fucking. I could sense a segue. I could sense it that time. When we were in our pre-podcast, meeting Peter had his headphones in. Yeah, that's true. All right.

Ultimate, this is the ultimate showdown. Cutest baby animal. Oh, yeah. This is a G. This is a G. This is a G. This may be the thing that puts us on the map

as a media company. I mean, people love our brackets. It's become like a big thing with us. Let's do it a little differently. Okay. For us, since you are going to know what these things are, because they don't have names,

you're going to host it. We'll do it. You'll be the tie break in the event of a tie between me and Peter. Okay. Starting us off, how many do we have in this bracket? Kyle. Have a good game, sir. Have a good game. I shall win.

Oh, boy, Kyle's going to hand count them. Looks like an 18. No. Kyle's using an abacus. 32. Okay. This bracket website is great, by the way, with the big pictures. Here we go. Kyle, don't start auto filling. What's the matter with you? Kyle's awfully confused. All right. Here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, starting off, what is the cutest

animal that you have seen. I have no idea what the seeds are here. A baby dolphin or a newly born chipmunk. Let's do, let's do like a three to one. We both say at the same time. Or is that ridiculous for a podcast? You can try it. I just think it'll be more competitive. Three, two, one. Chimmon. Wow. There we go. First tiebreak. I mean, we're not going to do that everyone. For those of you who are only listening, you should come, you should watch this one. You should come to watch it on Spotify too, right? Yeah. You should watch this. one, these pictures are goddamn adorable. It's also, let's go out. This is this going to take us probably 30, 40 minutes of the cutest baby animal pictures you've ever seen. I've never seen anything cuter than this chipmunk. Yeah, and I have to side with Peter on this. I think that dolphin. Yeah. Sorry. That's a huge upset. The chipmunk's adorable red panda from Nepal. Okay. Okay. Wow. All right. We have a, my God, an adorable red panda from Nepal or some.

small porpoise. Is it one of those, the ones that has the bulb had, what is that called? A beluga? I don't think that's a baby beluga. Does it doesn't say anywhere, Cal, it's just random pictures. Good. My beautiful walking through everybody. There's no way. There's no way a beluga

is ever that small. It's got to be a porpoise. It's some kind of porpoise. Maybe a harbor porpoise. Okay. See, this is going to be weird now because you guys went with dolphin. That red panda is absurdly cute. But that porpoise is ridiculous. Honest to God, if I woke up one day and I went to go take a pee and my dick had transformed into that, I would, I'd be fine with it.

You'd be like, hey. Yeah, I'd be okay. I wouldn't even go to the doctor. Would you share your wife, though? I would show everybody. Yeah, look at this thing. It can move around like a. All right.

What do you got? Oh, I'm definitely going with the red panda. It's no question. Dude, that's two for red panda. I think the red panda would take the whole thing if it were up for me. It didn't have its tongue out. It wouldn't even be cute. Dude, that red panda is the cutest animal I've ever seen hands down.

This is a good matchup. This is like we're looking at like seats four and five together here. Yeah. We got baby panda bear in a tree versus baby koala bear in a tree. This is like literally dead even in my viewpoint right now. I'm going to go ahead and just give it to the panda because his mouth is open. Open mouth. Unfortunately, I have to agree with you.

No tie break in this one. I would have gone for the koala. So I'm, this is a different. The mouth open. I mean, if the. Well, had its mouth open. Also the hands in the air. He looks like he's being like,

I'm going to eat you. He's literally going to surprise. But dude, that, I mean, it's close because that fucking koala is. Panda advances. Panda advances. So we already have two pandas. Two pandas of two types of panda in the world.

Right. Wow. Another tough one, actually. Okay. We have a baby white tiger versus the undeniable symbol of Eastern cuteness, which is a baby bunny. let's do a three to one i'm really glad you're hosting because i would have thought that was like a baby hamster uh this is easy three two one hamster wow that's also a bunny yeah um he forgot

no i'm i'm i'm with i'm with pat on this one it's got a tiger i mean we're not going cool animals look how cute that damn bunny is i don't care if there's millions of them in our back yeah i think the problem is as being the tiebreaker guy i've seen a million baby bunnies had a million baby bunnies. They're hard to beat, but I've never cause to see a baby tiger. I will also say this. If they were both here, if Jack Hanna came in and let us play with these, yeah, we're rolling around on the floor with that tiger. Straight out. But the game is cutest animals, lest we not forget. Too late, Tiger one. Tiger

Advance. All right, another big cat. So we have an African lion versus Aquoka. Don't forget, these are the cutest animals in the whole world as voted by like everybody. Forbes. A survey of over 25 million people. Yeah, there you go first, Peter. Oh, dude, I mean, you guys have me messed up from the last one.

Now I'm like not going by pure cuteness. I'm going by like wrestling on the floor with it. But I'm going quokia because it rhymes with the butthole thing, official term for the cloquo. There's nothing cuter. There's a few things cuter than an adult. What's the name with the butchua? smiling at you.

Yeah, with the hands out. I'm a catman, but this baby Quoka is, I think it's going to win the entire thing. Yeah, it's unanimous for Quoka. Let me real quick, just clarify. What's the, the buttholeca called on animals?

Cloaca. That's what I was. You knew what he was, I'm glad you're here to translate. Well, you're foreign. It'd just be dead air in between us because he's like, the butthole thing. You were born in Africa.

On Rottness Island, Western Australia. Man, they're cool. Yeah. Very cute. And I was right there and I didn't go and see them. I was in Perth. They're a 20 mile boat right away. Didn't make it there.

Wow. Let me ask you this. What is the animal on the left? Do you guys know? Polar bear. Good. I mean, I knew too, but it's just like that picture. Yeah.

Yeah. It doesn't look like the ruthless killing machine that is a polar bear. That it's going to turn into. That picks definitely had some work done in photo show. Okay. Baby polar bear. Baby orca. Polar bear.

Dude, I mean, look at the red tongue. It's, and the little bit of snow. on the nose. Yeah. You can't, look at the sad, droopy eyes and the little ears, man.

I don't even think the baby orca is that cute, to be honest. Like, maybe it's the picture, but. It's not really fair. You're looking at like a wide shot of an orca jumping.

It's like a stubby. It looks like my big toe. Yeah, we like to look at faces. I mean, we're drawn to faces. All right. Polar Bear,

you nan. Next. Oh, this is a crazy matchup. This is tough. What is that? This is tough. That mythical organism on the left is a baby and Indian elephant versus a tiny,

it looks like a gray kangaroo, eastern gray kangaroo. Oh, really? I thought that was a chihuahua. Dude, I thought it was a fusa. I swear to God. It's a kangaroo or a wallaby. It looks like an eastern gray. Okay.

That baby Indian elephant's ridiculous. I mean, if you're going with, I want to roll around on the floor bit. Yeah. Like, come on. Also, you do have to take size into perspective here. That kangaroo is probably about this big, probably sit in your hand. Four inches. Whereas the baby elephant is like a great dane.

Whereas in the picture, the- Baby elephant. The kangaroo is bigger than the elephant. Did you go elephant? No, listen, I am definitely going elephant because I've seen close-ups of baby elephants, and that picture does not do it justice. Good choice. They are so goddamn cute. Good choice.

All right, unanimous. Next up. this is the most fun I've ever had oh my god we're bringing it to North America I like it these are backyard critters right here this is lucky I bet we all know someone who's seen both of these in a day in the springtime before we have a deer a doe looks like a white tail no a baby deer okay not a doe a doe a deer a female deer A baby deer, a fawn, actually, versus baby skunks, striped skunk.

It's tough. Good. Listen, I'm really biased in this picture because back when I liked my dog, he would curl up in a donut position just like that baby deer. And like, I want to like bite that thing's cheek. I'm going with the fawn. All right. Baby skunks are interesting. Note the claws, though.

They still have those creepy claws. I don't even know if I pet one if it came in, so baby deer, easy. So at the end of this, I am going to send Kyle a video of me picking up a baby skunk that I found on my road. It's one of the cutest things I've ever seen my life. Interesting. The deer one. Baby deer advances. That's going to be a tough competitor in the next one.

All right. Next set. Hey, Brosters, thank you for being loyal subscribers. We appreciate everything that you do. and now we have a membership offer for you. I think you can get ad-free episodes, I heard. That's pretty big. Ad-free's big, but you can also get your comments looked at

so we don't have to sift through the millions. How do you do that? Is there some sort of badge system? There's a badge system, a loyalty badge. Boom! Shows up next to your name in the comments. Boom. We read the comment.

All this badge talks, I'm going to the badge store. He's going to get a badger. He's going to buy one, didn't earn it. He's going to buy one. He did a fake leave. I assumed Kyle would note that cut on the motion. All right, let's cut now. That's our ad.

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Right, you get your finalist versus the other finals. Listen, I might be the odd man out, but I actually think it's kind of cool a little bit. You're an odd man out. All right. Second round, what do we got? All right, baby dolphin versus Red Panda. Red Panda. It's no question.

red panda. Great. I think it's going all the way. Not Pat's fucking... I'm going to say that the ninth seed going all the way. Regular panda, panda versus white tiger baby. Let's do one, two, three. One, two, three.

Tiger. Wow. Tiger. Yeah, baby. No. I think the red panda is much... I've always been like not that into regular pandas. I don't know why.

I could see that because they are like the stereotypical cuteest animal. And I think that's why I don't like them. Yeah, I get that. stigma. I don't think the tiger's a serious competitor to win, but he made it to the third round. Good job. It's good. It should be good when the heat matches up against the Quoka versus polar bear. Hmm. Quoka. God, I got to go polar bear just because of the filter they put on that tongue. It's so red. Oh, man. This is tough. This is tough. What did you say? He just had a jolly rancher.

You know what? I think something about the quoka is like a little bit too rodentie to be that cute for me. I'm going to go polar bear. It looks like a rat panda. A rat. Randa. I would call that a big upset. Not a koala mix with a rat. Here we go. Baby Indian elephant versus fawn.

God, this one's tough. Oh, man. We said it was cutest. I'm sticking to it. The fawn. Oh. This is so hard. It is close.

Because baby elephants, if you've ever seen videos of them, like they're intelligent, their ears, they wiggle, they do fake charging. I gotta go, sorry Charlie, I'm going with the elephant. I'm with Peter. Wow, baby, Indian elephant. I love it. Like, look at the face, the expression. It's got a trunk for a nose.

This is quarter, five, semi, well, semifinals. I think we're down to four on this side. Final four on this set. Yes. Fron nose. All right. Red panda versus White Tiger. Red v. White.

This is tough, hard one for me. This is hard for me to say, the red panda. Yep. Kinker. Unanimous. Bye, tiger. See ya. You don't have to be mean.

Wow, this one's hard. Peter's favorites. This one is hard. Peter's two favorites. Polar Bear versus Indian elephant. Let's have a little. No, no, no, go first. A discussion about this.

I mean, as I just talked about the elephant, it's just so cute. But that baby polar bear, knowing that eventually it's going to turn into this killing machine, aggressive, will kill humans without prompting. I'm going baby elephant. I'm sorry. I'm going to make you decide for us because I'm going to say that that polar bear cub

I didn't want to decide. I didn't want to decide. Yeah. It's got to be the polar bear. Yeah. Because like look, you want to cuddle that. Yes. Well, the elephant is more adorable.

I'm not mad. I want to cuddle that baby polar. Like imagine the snow white little bear sitting there. Tongue out. The snow on the nose, dude. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not mad about it. Give him a plate of cocaine.

Okay. Cocaine bear. We got red panda. It's cocaine bear too. Polar cocaine bear. Polar Coke. That's actually not fair. I don't know why I said that.

Red panda versus white polar bear. Wow. Wow. Wow. Cuteness. It's the red panda. Red panda. Look at the fluffy ears.

Yeah, that's unanimous. I think it's going to take the whole thing. So he goes to the finals. Yeah. Red panda is in the finals. The final. Okay. Now we're on to the other side.

Okay. Wow. This is a tough one. What have we got here for us? What do you think we're looking at? Do you know? Well, I know that's a cheetah. The primate.

Cheetah versus gorilla. Oh, it's a gorilla. We're looking at a cheetah versus a newborn gorilla here. I've never seen a baby gorilla, even in pictures. Straight up the dorsbs. So fucking cute. This is the easiest matchup yet. Wow.

I mean, the newborn gorilla is ridiculous. It's a better human. It's a massive contender to win the whole thing. I mean, I'm not even going to argue 100% the gorilla, baby gorilla. I love the cheese. That's got a chance of taking out the Red Panda. It does. I'll give you that.

If he makes it. If he makes it. Next, Kyle. We don't even know who's on this side. Wow. Here we go. Oh, wow. We have what I think is a Cape Fur seal.

Maybe a, yeah, I think so. Baby Cape Fur seal. The white fins for feet. Yeah, that's why I'm thinking it's a fur seal versus a tiny, Jaguar. My goodness. Look at the color scheme on that Jaguar.

Like, that is beautiful. So they did the Jaguar disservice here. That is a Jaguar and not an Osolah, right? It's such a weird picture.

I think it is. It's also like a It doesn't look, it's not like newborn cute, you know? No. It's like, like an infant. It's also not even

one of the better looking seal pups I've seen. True. It looks like a little bit dirty. It's got a mole on its side of its face or something. Yeah. That little black,

or that is ears. Fins are tarnished. seal. I'm going to take the Newborn, the Jaguar, Jaguar, Jaguar. Literally, like, it hurt my heart physically a little bit as we were making fun of the seal because, like, it's

obviously just a baby and can't do anything about the way he looks. But I'm going with the Jaguar. I'll tell you what, I, obviously Jaguar wins. I would have picked the seal, except one of those two animals you can play with. You can't cuddle a seal. You're just cuddling like a stinky fish dog. Yeah.

Like, you can't cuddle with that guy. Stinkyfishdog.com. Secure it, Kyle. Stinkyfishdog. All right. We have a tiny hedgehog versus a tiny tiger. Easy choice for me,

partly because your mom had a hedgehog. You remember that nasty thing? It was very, very bitey. It bit everyone who held it. Everyone, horrible animal. They are cute, but not anywhere nearly as cute as that tiger. Wow, I...

Tiger cub. I extremely disagree. That hedgehog might be the cutest animal we've had in the entire round. Because he didn't get bit by one. Yeah. Dude, look at the little,

the little limbs. Is that a penis I see on that? I have scars, too, from that fucking thing. Look at that. We know where this is going. Come on,

Forrest. Just say it. You didn't hold my mom's hedgehog, dude. It was the nastiest animal. Oh, I've held your mom's hedgehog. I have a scar that will be on my hand

for the rest of my life, on my pinky from your head. Pure Cuteness though, Forrest. We're going pure visual cuteness. You don't know these animals. You never heard of them. You never brought into account.

the elephant's intelligence. That's different. We're talking about a hedgehog. Yeah. On our pinkies. I'm not a good vote. I don't like hedgehog. I'm not a good vote.

Tiger and Vonsal. Sorry. Kyle, tie break. All right, no, I'm just kidding. So I just don't like them anymore. By the way, real quick, sidebar. We got that hedgehog from, like, a family whose teenager bought the hedgehog and then never gave it any lover attention.

And they're like, we don't want this. Our kid's gone to college. It's a fucking nasty spike rat that we have. So you, yeah. We rescued it, like, everything at our house. And I was like, yeah. we'll take it. I've always wanted a hedgehog. What a cool pet. It's the only rescue I've given away ever in my life. We had it for like three weeks. Pat came up. It bit the shit out of him and his girlfriend and everybody.

And I was like, I just can't with this thing anymore. It makes me sad. He came from a broken home. He did. So did Charlie. Charlie's also bitten me. So now we have baby gates everywhere so I can keep him contained. It's fantastic. All right. Next. Oh, wow. Oh, boy. Oh, wow. Merecat versus Red Fox. Wow. there's something about the eyes on this mere cat that I don't trust. I thought you were not. That's not where I thought you were going.

He looks like Charlie, ears back. He's ghoulish. Right before he's about to attack. I mean, it looks like it looks like someone who dressed up for a Maryland Manson concert. Like, it's a disaster. He's got the eyeliner on, painted his ears black. Well, he's also got a huge ego because he was on Mirkat Manor. He's a celebrity.

Celebrity baby. Yeah, he looks like he's trying too hard to be cute. Wow. You guys are brutal. So it's obviously the Red Fox because that was just a five-minute insult session for the

adorable baby animal. Are you really going Mirkat? No, Fox. Fox. For sure. That's funny. All right. Oh, we have another little.

We have, oh my God. A tiny otter, which I'm not going to lie, if I built this bracket and never would have across my mind and now that I'm seeing it, I think might go all the way versus a piglet. Okay. Also adorable. I just was never expecting a baby otter to be that cute.

Okay. All right. Three, two, one. Otter. Look at the piglet. Okay. Hang on. Hang on.

So we both did otter. Yeah. You said piglet. When this got pulled up, Kyle off camera goes, oh. Yeah. He met, which one was it that insane reaction? What was that reaction? The piglet.

Yes, me too. What? Me too. It's the face. It's the face. He's like kind of looking up and smiling. Oh, that nose. Listen.

All right. We need Leot. We need a tiebreaker. She's working. Oh, lame. Listen, Brosner's way in on this one in the comments. The piglet. We need to solve it.

Because we're doing a bracket. Well, what are we going to do? We got two for two here. Kyle only got a vote there because his reaction was wild to the piglet. That's fine. Take your, you know what? I think we have to go piglet.

Because none of us shrieked. That's true. Kyle's whole body quivered like a dog about to get a tree. So he gets the top. He gets the tie break, Kyle. Piglet. Okay. Wow.

All right. I literally think that for me, the otter might have won the whole thing. I mean, that melted my heart. So I'm heartbroken. I'm devastated. Well, I mean,

when our producer almost faints out of his chair. That's true. Yeah, that's a bigger reaction than I had. All right. We have a baby, grizzly here, a baby brown bear versus a tiny little emperor penguin. Holy crap. I don't like what they did

with the color. Can't you just like show us the non-black and white version of that? No, no, that is the non-black and white version. That's the real color. Oh, you're having a laugh. Is it really? No, that's the real color. Type in baby penguin call. Go to a different tab. I mean, they might have taken the color out of his beak,

but I mean, that's it. Oh, they took the color out of his goddamn beak. No, like go to one of those, go to that group picture. See? That's the real picture. You look at what they look like. You're right. Yeah. See?

That's not a black and white photo. That's what they look like. And he's sitting against his father's white plumage. Yeah. So what do we have here? Is that a brown bear, a grizzly? Yeah. I mean, dude, I really.

Yeah, that is funny that you thought that was black and white. That's the real. That's it. The penguin looks like a dead doll. I'm definitely going baby brown bear. It's cute. It's fuzzy. I'm going to give it to the penguin.

I've seen a lot of baby brown bears in real life. They are cute, but not as cute as that penguin. I think our stigma of baby bears is the teddy bear, and that makes us all think they're cuter than they are. Agreed. However, penguins are disgusting. They smell. They smell really, really bad.

Dead doll. No, I got to go for the bear. I got to. Penguins are so, like, it's adorable, but if you've ever been anywhere near a penguin, they're mean, they bite, they shit on themselves, and everything around them, they stink. They do smell badly. They don't shit or attack.

One of those two things you'd want to cuddle. The other, you'd be like, this thing smells bad. I'm glad Forrest is the arbiter. All right, what is that thing on the left? Do we know? Yes, I know. Can I guess? Yeah.

Sloth. Very good. Yes. Very good. All right, we have a tiny sloth versus a newly hatched duckling. This is crazy, dude. This is mental bananas. You think it's hard for you?

This is so close for me. Oh, easy for me. Sloth. That baby sloth's ridiculous. Dude, I mean, look at it. Just moving slowly. I'm going to go with you. I'm going final answer.

Dude, look at the webbed feet. The beak. Come on. I'm going with the baby duck. I'm sorry. Can I do the tiebreaker in the voice of David Attenborough? Yes, please. And as you see here, the competition has stiffened

between the young duckling and the three Toad Sloth However, upon Closer examination, you will see that by far the cutest animal on this slide is indeed the three-toed

Sloth. Yeah. All right, take it. Nice job. Disagree, but take it. Sloth wins. Look at its little toe on the webbed foot toe next. It's not even connected. I love that swap. Nothing you can do. Oh, my.

What do we have here? Okay. I honestly, I mean, obviously it's a monkey of some kind. I don't know. Yeah, just give your best guess. It looks like a tiny Langer. Okay. So I'm going to say a tiny black Langer versus an Arctic fox.

Not a macaque? No, not a macaque. Try, Kyle, why don't you fact check me here? Why don't you go baby Langer? L-A-N-G-U-R. This one is really hard for me, Pat. I'm pretty sure it's a lawyer. It's a good one.

Yeah, it is. It's just not this. Well, wait a minute. You got the ears. Look at that color. Oh, that's a, yeah, black. Langer. Oh no, well, it's not a blacklanger because the blacklangers have, it doesn't matter. It's a baby primate. I want to say, come and watch on the video. You got to see this animal. It's, no, it's definitely not a macaque.

Ludacrous. Maybe, may, go back to it quickly. No, it's not a vervet. Is that just a weird human? It looks like he's wearing a skeleton suit, like the ones you wear for Halloween. I think it might just be a weird human. Yep, KES. A woman. Try Sykes Monkey. Nope. Really? It's close. It looks like it. We got some kind of pattern here. We got a baby monkey of some sort. Yeah. Not a vervet.

Versus an Arctic fox. Pup. Sure. Nice monobrow. Sure. Versus an Arctic fox. He does. Look at his mono brow.

Yeah. Oh, boy. I'm just going to go ahead and say it. I mean, this primate came up to the camera and said, I'm going to smile and look the cutest I could look. And then did it and waited for the picture to be taken. Everything about it is adorable. From the unibrow to the same. skeleton Halloween suit

it's got on. I'm going baby primate. I'm going to go with the Arctic Fox Pub. Dude. Forest. I like the monkey. I had a baby monkey growing up. They turn into the worst pets. You've ever had an adolescent monkey is the worst thing. Your dad almost chased them all with a shotgun. I told that. He shot at him. An adolescent monkey is the

worst thing you've ever met. But as a baby, they are the most adorable creature. Chippy. Chippy. That's right. Chippy wins. Justin Bieber had a monkey and took it to like Australia or somewhere. And then just left it because I think it got too old. There's like seven things wrong with that statement. But, all right, let's continue.

I like the beeps. All right. All right, here we go. Gorilla Jaguar. So this is the final. No, not the final. It's the, it's, how did you get to final? I see he's had six IPAs.

Second round. Second round. All right. Guerrilla versus Jaguar. Simple. One, two, three. One, two, three. Gorilla.

Yeah. You know. The fact. No question. It's a contender. All right. We have a... Wow. Good one.

Wow. Let's call it a Bengal tiger versus a red fox. Wow. Red fox. Oh, God. This is the closest one. This is dog versus cat here, boys and girls. It's annoying to me because...

I'm sorry. I'm going to go back. I'm going tiger. It's way cuter. I don't know what I was thinking. What annoys me about this is that the comparison is a wide shot or a medium shot of the fox versus like a close up of the tiger face and it's not fair it's curious i'm going fox dude because it's getting the shit under the stick on this one it is

sympathy i'll give you that also they should have had a baby battered fox in this that would have taken the cake uh i'm gonna go tiger yeah yeah it's just it's too hard it's it's close it's really hard i mean i don't there are few i didn't have a strong i'm not unhappy about there are few things cuter than a baby tiger. All right. Next. Like your dolphin dude. All right. We got piglet, which still shouldn't be here, versus

the baby brown bear. It's no question. It's the piglet. The piglet wins the whole thing. I'll say it right now. In this matchup, it is the piglet. I'm literally standing up from this pot. I'm eating bacon on pizza after this. What's wrong with the goddamn pig, though? I'm just saying, like, one of those things is like,

Kyle, don't laugh. It's not that funny. It's a cynical. It's a snout on this pig. It is. All right, piglet is. Piglet wins. Yeah. Real underdog. Mr. Pig. Oh, wow.

Now we got eyes on eyes. This is a tough match. Dead even. Dead even on this one. Baby Sloth versus Chippy the monkey. Wow. Sloth.

A baby three-toed sloth is ridiculously cute. Oh my God. Despite its pig nose. Keep it found the speed. Like you're looking at like one animal that's just like all over you the whole time. Yeah. Versus the other that's like.

And I've seen that. video where the sloth is hanging off the boat running his fingers in the water. Have you ever seen that? Yeah, I've seen that video. That video's hilarious. It's tough because they're both posing for the camera here. They are very much though. I got to go with that monkey though, dude. He's beautiful. So we got one for each? Yeah. It's tough. It's a sloth for me. I think that's why I can have seen. It doesn't even look like the monkey looks like something that you know exists. I know. I know. Whereas that sloth with the no eyes and the no like forehead expression, it Looks otherworldly.

So the sloth looks like a neurodivergent chick. Like a chick, like a baby, yeah, yeah. Oh, not a girl. That's not what you meant. Yeah. Just making sure I don't want to get canceled for two things at once. Yeah, I'm going to go to the sloth. I love the sloth.

All right. I think we have one more in the second round. No, we're on to the third round. Third round. Third round. The semifinals of this side. These are both polar opposites, so adorable. Little gorilla, little tiger.

Who you taken? Are you want to do a three, two, one on this one? Sure. Okay. Three, two, one. Gorilla. Okay. Should we just put the gorilla in the final?

I don't know. No, I don't know. I don't know. Look at the nose, the flat face. Oh, my God. It's ridiculous and fuzzy too. It's so fuzzy. Next.

Oh, my. Sloth. Two animals with a very similar nose. It's similar expressions and everything going on here. A narrow divergent. It really shows you that a lot of this is about like the camera angle. Of course. Oh, absolutely.

And the expression of the face. Yeah. Like there's like, I think that boca effect on the pig really does. something for you. Dude, I think you could, if you took that same photo of like a tarantula, you'd be like, oh. It's true. Yeah. So Peter, that's actually kind of swaying his head no over there. He's like, uh-uh. It's kind of swaying my opinion a little bit for the sloth because the, it's clear that the photographer of this baby pig was just, I mean, better. You gotta go based on the photo.

Yep. All right, based on the photo, the boca is part of the photo. Go in piglet. Sloth. Nice sloth for me. I don't know. I'm sorry. Tie break. I didn't even like the piglet to begin with. I know. Yeah. Neither did. Forrest is going to toss that piglet up like a peanut and swirl. All right. So this is to advance to the finals. This is. To take on the red panda.

Now everybody just take kind of a pause here in a moment. Let's really think about this one. Yeah, that's fair. Okay. Okay. Deep breath. Gorilla, humanoid gets very large. That's not what this is about.

It's not about the future. It's about right now. How big is this newborn gorilla would you say? Pretty infant size. Probably this big. What would you say a foot and a half tall? Yeah. Let's call it's call two feet.

By the way, okay, it's bigger, it's bigger than I thought, actually. Versus the baby sloth, which is probably like a pocket Pokemon. Can I just, can I just real quick? And not to sway anybody's. It won't be real quick, but sure. But look at the, look at the gorilla's toes wrapped around. Yeah, that's a really good point. I mean, look, there's no contest here for me.

It's very easy. I'm going gorilla. I'm going gorilla. I mean, that's the answer, isn't it? Yeah. I probably would have picked it, too, to be honest. I'm obsessed with the slop, but I think the face on that gorilla, It's a better human.

Yeah. I'd rather have that than my next child. I just want to pet it on the head, dude. Oh, God, it's so cute. All right. We're on to the finals. I want to kiss its fuzziness. Oh, boy.

Wow. You know what I'm going to say here? Big showdown. A lot of times with these brackets, something that shouldn't have made it gets there because of its matchups. Agreed. This really was the top two.

See, doing it this way is better. Interesting. Because you're picking the different competitors. Yeah, I think there's something psychologically going on. That's interesting. Okay. Red Panda versus a newborn gorilla. It's really hard.

If you're only listening, please at least watch this part because it's really hard. Just Google image these animals because you shouldn't not be seeing them. Can I do something before you guys answer? Of course, I need time. Kyle, can you jump on here and tell us, just don't even give us an explanation. Just tell us which animal you would pick. If we weren't here, yes, you, you're Kyle. For me, it's very easy.

Oh, then wait. Yeah, I agree. Then wait. Because I don't see it as very easy. No, this is a very difficult choice. I think we should maybe all four, three, two, one do it. Okay. Wow, that's different.

It's going to be hard to process this, but okay. Yeah, there's going to be a lot of sounds in the room. Do you know your choice? Yeah, I know. Yes, I know my choice. And again, the matchup is the Red Panda versus the gorilla to be deemed the cutest the cutest baby animal in the world. On earth.

Yep. Ready. Three. Three, two, one, panda. What? You want panda? Three pandas. And Kyle said it was easy.

Oh, my. Congratulations, red panda. The red panda. The most beautiful animal, the cutest animal. You put your tongue out. You did it. I mean, honestly, I think that's the animal I'd want to have the most. Like, if I could just have a cute, friendly red panda, I think I could just die happy.

Yeah. I hope big does a red panda get? Let's get some. facts on a red panda just because let's highlight it for a bit put it in the spot right you guys can go and see on our patreon is my trip to india and nepal where we go looking for the red panda did you find them uh oh yeah we found them up in the highlands of nepal they were utterly adorable now see if they had used that photo go to that that photo one up one over kyle one up one over that would never have made it no that wouldn't have even been well that would have been eliminated immediately

now in all fairness that just the The vet is holding it. Yeah. It just came out of the womb. Correct. It's slimy. Its eyes haven't opened yet. Correct.

It's still cute. I'm just saying it doesn't. Oh my God. What if it was that bit? You ever seen a human baby come out? There's horrendous. So these live in India. Nepal and India up and even into China.

High mountains, deciduous forests. They, what else can I say about it? Well, I mean, like, what do they eat? They just eat leaves. Yeah, leaves and flowers and shoots. They're not like a regular panda that can only eat. No, they're not a panda. It's a silly name. They're related to, uh, they're related to like raccoons and to nukes.

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. They're not really a trash panda. Who would have thought that a raccoon relative was deemed the cutest baby animal in the world officially, inarguably. Look at this. Two currently recognized subspecies the hyllima, Himalimalaman and the Chinese genetically divergent about 250,000 years ago. Pretty amazing. That's fascinating that they know that. 20,000 years ago, these two groups of red peasant.

Panda just stop co-cose. I mean, how do they even figure that out, dude? That's ludicrous. Through DNA and genetics, yeah. Wow. That was that was literally, I think, one of the funnest things we've ever done on this podcast. All right. Well, that's, I'm not kidding, the most fun I've had this week easily.

Good. This month for me. It was the most adorable. My heart melted a little bit. I literally got stomach flips when I saw it. Yeah, the butterflies. It's giving me an idea here. Okay.

I think it's time. I think I know what time it is. Oh, no. Do you know what time it is? Battle Royale. What? We're going to go slaughtering babies? No.

Yeah. Oh, this is the battle royale. Here's the challenge. The red panda has just been deemed by the people on Earth to be the cutest baby animal. Right. Yep. Here's your challenge.

Oh, boy. You must take the head, the body, and the legs, snake draft. Yep, of course. of baby animals. Could be ones we've seen, could be ones we haven't seen. Sure.

Sure. To create a new animal that is cuter than the red panda baby. Wow. Good luck. So that is... Good luck. That's the goal.

I mean, take all those elements that you pointed out. The eyes, the snow. Kyle, can you pull up the brackets so that I can know what the fuck I'm talking about? No, no, no, no, no. I got to be able to look at them. No, no, no, no, no.

You know what animals are. Listen, guy. We're not our... Listen, guy. You've been doing this for things. No about animals. You've been doing this. You've been doing this.

You give us animal facts now. Of course. Between these and the bonus pods, we've done over 200 podcasts, like 220. So? Does it mean I've learned what, okay,

go ahead, it's fine. You guys want me to lose. It's fine. It's the voodoo rate. I think we make them start now after all that. That's fine. I'll start.

No, you know what? You get a leg up. You get to pick the cutest feature of everything you just saw. Okay. I'll remember somewhat. You will. Yeah, for sure.

Let your beers. Let's do the talking. You want to go first? Yeah. first. Well, I'm going to go ahead. My first three picks. I'm going to go ahead and pick for the face. God, it's got it's got to have that, the great ape face. The baby gorilla head and face. That's a good pick. It's a good pick. I mean, we all fell in love with it. So it's a good pick. That's an awfully good pick. Yep. Oh my God. There's an even cuter picture that Kyle has just pulled up. So he's starting with a baby gorilla head. It's off the table. It's off the table. Okay. Oh, God, it's beautiful. This is really hard. I know what I'm going to do here.

Okay. I actually, I'm going to win. No way. I've already got loud. The reason that the baby fur seal, the reason that the baby fur seal didn't win was because of the flippers and the body. It's true. Sure. Sure.

If it was just the face, baby first seal pretty damn cute. Baby fur seal head. Wow. Okay. Okay. Galapagos baby first heel head. Okay. Okay.

You're up for two or three. Very nice. Yeah, look at that fourth photo over. You stick that head on a cute body and a nice set of legs. It's so sad, no matter what. Yeah, it really is. But that's all it's got going for it. All right, so we got, I'm going to go ahead too.

Smart. So that way we're staying even here. I think that I've got this one in the bag, and I'm picking from animals that aren't on those lists. Okay. So take that. As you should. I'm going to start with the head of a baby fenwick fox.

That's. Yeah, no, Phenic. That's absurd. I mean, any cuteness competition should start here. Look at that. Come on, baby gorilla face. No, come on. That?

You're not taking that? Look those ears. That's from some other planet. I really want to see these, like, compared to each other, these three faces. Like, I need a side-by-side. I also really would like Dave Sunshine to make these for us. Because this is not an insurmountable one, like some of the ridiculous things I'm saying. Hyper-realistic.

He doesn't have to put herpes into anything, I hope. Yes. All right. What are you doing next? Right. So I have the head of a fennick fox, and I'm going to put it on the body of a long-haired guinea pig.

Wow. You don't like it. What? Just wait. Look at these guinea pigs. Look at these show guinea pigs with their hair. Show, show. Yeah, I swear you got, type in show guinea pigs,

Kyle. So you put a fennick fox head on this mop. Yep. Yep. It's an old lady's wig from the 80s. Oh, my God, it really is. Yeah. Look at the furtive.

this thing. Dude, look at that one. Go to the center one. Where the hairs go to the owl. This horse literally has a fennick fox head

growing out of Bruce Valanche's wig. It's insane. It's so good. Yeah, this is literally Forest best pick out of any bad oil. It's going to look like a wig.

No, it's going to be so good. Wait to see the legs. I'm putting on it. All right. Scales to the body size. I'm going to take one also that was not on the list. Okay.

I want the rotund, sort of round, cute, distended belly of a baby French bulldog. Wow. Very nice. Okay, okay. To go with my otter head. See, that's not bad. That's pretty cute. I mean, look, a baby French bulldog is very cute.

Very. Give that body an otter head. Yeah. Seal, seal head. You know. Oh, yeah, baby fur seal head. This is really hard. You're up for two.

I realized that when you put a baby gorilla's head onto anything other than like a bipedal creature, it looks very strange and creepy. Very. So I'm now like. You're at a disadvantage. You have a very limited pool. I mean, or you just go really out there.

I wrote on a dolphin and see what happens. I was thinking like a snake. Oh, that means good. No, but I think I've come up with potentially. a happy medium because of the flu factor. I'm going to put my baby gorilla's head and face onto the body of a

chow chow. Okay. Because the fluffiness of the chow chow They're like, it makes up for the head. It matches the fluffy head. Exactly. And I think that's about all I could do other than something that's just wildly out there. It's cute. And then what kind of little baby

legs are going to have? I'm going to legs too, boy. You must. Legs scale to the body Yes I know what he's going to do I just thought of something hilarious If I just gave it like ostrich feet That's different

That's out there I'm not gonna do it I'm gonna go with bunny feet Bunny feet dude bunny feet Oh yeah a little cute A little fluffy bunny feet That's nice baby bunny feet Yeah the big back thumpers

Yeah It's very cute By the way everybody who's picturing this All the same color So don't picture like a Like a black gorilla head on like a white chow-child body. I hope that's how whoever edits this puts it together.

Like dry colored. Good pick and a reasonable. I honestly think your bunny feet was your best pick. I honestly do. Because that's... I agree. A bunny foot, the back foot of a bunny is... I literally want to kiss one right now.

There's a reason that they cut them off the bunny and put it on a keychain so you and I can carry it around in their fucking pockets. We don't do that. To be clear. All right, that was a really good pick. Thank you. I'm pretty proud of this one. I was so.

tempted to just go with the feet of the baby duckling, but then I know I'm going to lose, and I want some votes. They're not cuddly. You don't want duckling feet to snuggle it. So, okay, I've got my first eel face on the, on the little French bulldogs, a little cute, fat little body. Fat wrinkles. I know what I'm going to do.

What do you got? I'm going to take Kyle's favorite from the bracket, and I'm going to give it the feet of a little baby pigglet. Wow, little trotters. A little trotter. Yeah, the little legs and feet of a baby. You hear them on the hardwood floor. It's like a little tap down.

I like when I know they're coming. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry, but I got to be honest here. Yeah. It's in big feet and there's soup coming up. You picked hoofs for your feet.

I want to hear it coming across the hardwood. I will say this. And I'm not agreeing that I'm not saying Pat's one. I'm just saying when you see a little hoofed animal like a tiny horse or a little pig. Yeah. It's like adorable when they're little like. Yeah. Exactly.

All right. All right. Forrest, how are you going to round out your? Your animal. My creation of a fennick fox head on a long-haired guinea pig body. Yeah. I'm going to give it the limbs of a juvenile orangutan. Okay.

So it's like clingy. It's got pretty long. Again. I'm sorry, what was your body again? The hairy guinea pig. The one that looked like the wig. This is really creepy.

So those feet limbs are just going to come out from under the wig? Yeah, you're going to have all this mop of hair, these crazy ears and this cute face. And then it's going to cling to you and climb around on you. I do like the. clinging bed. Yeah, I mean, this is to me, like, worse than the evil gremlins. What? It's a, it's a walking to pay with a fox head. You did a Peter pick. You did a Peter creation. No, I think it's a fantastic pick. Come on, man. Does your fox have

dead serious. Is it just like spitting mealworms all over your bed spread? Meal worms! All right, brosters, way in. Let us know who you think made the cutest animal of the three. I'm not going to recap. Just you know what they are. And, And let us know what your cutest animal is. I'd actually like to read these. I'd like to read one out. I was going to say, let's do this. Take something that wasn't a baby animal that wasn't even on the bracket.

Yeah. That you think could contend with the Red Panda. We will actually read all of the comments and pick a winner. Well, me and Kyle will read. Yeah, exactly. We'll announce it on the next podcast. That's correct. Well, guys, this has been a fun one.

This time I want to do something a little different. Everybody comes to CSAT Animalcom. What are the dates again? September 15. and 16th. We're going to be there for our streaming live on YouTube in the middle of the day. So even if you can't come see us there in Florida, watch the live. It's going to be ridiculous.

It's at a resort. We've got a sponsor. There's a super cool backdrop. All of the world's biggest animal influencers are going to be chatting with us. You can sit and chat with us while we're podcasting. Most importantly, our wives won't be there and we'll be boozing. I'm not, no comment. Dark and stormy. Also, if you've ever thought, I like this podcast, It makes me laugh.

I enjoy it. It makes me more interesting because I have facts when I go on Tinder dates to talk about. I learn stuff. But I just wish I could have more. There's four more every month.

You can subscribe on Spotify. Spotify. Patreon. Take four more podcasts a month and take it to the bank. Laugh. Potentially in talks to start doing even more. So maybe look forward to that.

Wild Times. Dot club forward slash info. Check out the Spotify. Four bonus pods. Six total per month. Add free. Same on Patreon for ad-free. That's it.

Guys, this has been wonderful. Pat, stop rushing me. Well, you just repeated a bunch of stuff that I had just said. Listen, I want to do something that Forest normally does. If you've made it this far, which is going to be maybe one person. Just comment. Zero.

I've tuned. AnimalCon. No, comment Kyle's Piglin. No. Stop walking over my promotion. I'm sorry. God damn it. Now people are going to fucking do that.

No, no, you're right. Don't do yours. Don't do mine. Do yours. No, they're all going to be yours now. No, they're all going to be yours. AnimalCon, if you think Pat's meager. And you could type that whole thing.

I think Pat's meager go to Animal Con. He's really bungled this. Just type AnimalCon. Do Peter's thing. If you've made it this far, we're seeing how many people listen through this much bullshit, which is zero people. You type Animal Con. Three times quick, red leather, yellow leather.

Have you been practicing? No. Do it. Shit. You can't even do one. Red leather yellow leather. Red leather, yellow, yellow. Fuck.

Yes. You. Red leather yellow leather. Fuck. I nailed it last time. Kyle. Kyle. He didn't even get red out last time.

Red leather yellow. No. It's not red leather. This is my only town. It's in life. Red leather yellow leather. Red leather. Red leather yellow leather.

You said three times fast. That was... Red leather yellow leather. Red leather yellow leather. He is good at it. He is really good. I've been practicing since I was six. I believe it. Good night, everybody.

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