Wild Times: Wildlife Education - Woman Attacked By Seal in Hawaii - The Wild Times Ep. 121

Episode Date: June 26, 2023

This week we discuss Iceland ending whaling for fin whales, our Top 3 & DFL phone apps, and turtle talk. Booe: Use code "TWT" at checkout to get 10% off site-wide at https://booe.com/ Subscribe to The Wild Times Podcast on YouTube ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod Get YouTube Membership Perks ▶▶ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVl7fHhUOpFK8Mpv-6DdoOg/join Get Up To 4 Bonus Podcasts Per Month ▶▶ https://www.patreon.com/wildtimespod Watch More Episodes Here ▶▶ https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLP... Visit https://thewildtimespodcast.com/ now! Join The Wild Times Discord Server: https://discord.gg/EkUWebe2 Get your Wild Times Podcast merch: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Leave a review on iTunes Apple Podcast: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/itune... Follow The Wild Times Podcast on socials: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wildtimespod/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@wildtimespod Twitter: https://twitter.com/WildTimesPod Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildtimespod/ Listen to The Wild Times Podcast on: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cbFBzf... Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Google: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0... Anchor.fm: https://anchor.fm/wildtimespod/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WildTimesPod Enjoy, brosteners! TWT 121 - The Breakdown 00:00 - Intro 02:07 - Whaling Ending in Iceland 11:34 - Yellowstone NP Asks Guests To Not Touch Animals 17:30 - What's In The Drybag? 24:20 - Top 3 DFL - Phone Apps 38:13 - Hawaiian Monk Seal Attack 42:20 - Turtle Talk 49:25 - Battle Royale 1:01:11 - Outro Jingles made by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-tire/ #wildtimespod

Calm down. Why are you so angry? I'm allowed to have my own opinion on your shitty app. Get your BAC under control. Relax. Relax. Well, if I didn't have to chug beers because it's stupid game. Wild times.

Woo! Here we go. Cheers, boys. Happy being the same room. Yeah, nice to see you guys. Cheers, cheers, cheers. Happy fat tiring. This is episode.

Kyle, what number? 123. He's a mute. Can't speak. 121. Just told you 30 seconds. I know, but I feel. Even 15 seconds. Happy episode number 121.

This is the Wild Times podcast, the greatest show in the world. A show where we hang out, sit on Peter's couch. Charlie the hyena is in the corner there. We talk about wildlife news comedy and all things fun. And drink. Absolutely. But we do do some drinking. And I am one of your three hosts, the broologist, Forrest Galante, joining me here.

Kyle, joining me here. Kyle's cracking his tire. He's supposed to be working. He doesn't out of work. He's even old. enough to drink? I don't think so. I think he's like 12. Yes. All right. We're going to get canceled.

Joining me on my left, Papa P himself, the producer, Patrick DeLuca. How are you, bud? Good. Excited to talk about. Got some great stuff going today. We're going to try a new segment. Okay. A new kind of game. Oh, I like that. A little bit later. We got a top three DFL and a battle where I'll coming. Uh-huh. All good stuff. All the greatest hit. Love the games. And as always, PhD in podcasting, the one and only bro.

Professor Retap. Hello. Hello, everybody. Pat, what time did we say we were going to start? I knew he was going to open with that. Before I said he'd be here at 10. I got here at 10. 11. Okay. Just making sure. But I took a picture of the roadblock I ran into on Box Canyon Road. I haven't seen it. Well, I did take a picture because I was like, Peter's going to get me shit.

Listen, it's fine. It's fine. I'm happy to be here, though. And I'm happy to be drinking a fat tire and a coffee at the same time. Wow. That's a good move. That's a Vegas-style move. Yeah. Exactly. Detox and re-talks in one go.

That's good for you right there. Yeah, it's like you're taking away the bad feelings from the drinking you did last night. Right. In like two different things. Yeah, good for you. Good for you guys. So here's what I think. Let's get into it.

What's in the news? What's in the news? Love me some news. So there is one piece of news that I'm very happy and excited about. Okay? And that is when we think of, of Scandinavian countries, Icelandic area. We think of beautiful fjords, incredible waterfall.

Tall blondes. Good-looking people. I would swear that was the next thing I was going to say. Honestly, I was talking about the men. Oh, I weirdly. I swear to God. I almost said big breasted blondes, but. Well, you could still be talking about the men.

I could still be talking about them. They do a lot of, you know, impeccable. But you also think, sadly, of whaling, right? We all know that those Scandinavian countries love them. a little whale meat. And they've been doing it for as long as we can kind of recall. And there's a bit of news on that. Yeah, what's going on? Well, Icelandic fisheries minister has suspended fin whaling for the current season. And starting in 2024, no new licenses will be issued, which means that's the end of whaling in Iceland, which is massive. That's huge.

Of fin whales. Of fin whales. Yeah, sorry, I should have mentioned that. Of fin whale specifically. So for those that don't know, fin whales are the second largest whale in the world next to the blue whale. Amazing animals. And I'm sure this is why they've done this in Iceland. They're next to the blue whale. They're probably the whale for whale watching, right? Because if you want to see a whale, you want to see a big whale. Gray whales in Mexico are amazing, blah, blah, blah, but you want to see a big whale. For sure. Finn whales are a big whale. And Iceland has crazy tourism nowadays, right? I mean, it's the happiest place in the world, big hot. According to the index. We're going to be a little sadder when they don't get to eat their fin whales.

Everybody else will be happy. I'll be happy. Yeah, exactly. I think most Icelandic people are sort of against whaling now. I think the especially younger generations, right? Probably. I'm not sure. But dude, a fin whale, I was shocked when I saw my first fin whale.

And it was actually helicopter footage when Peter and I were working on whale wars. I think it was in the first season, the Japanese whaling fleet killed a fin whale. And we were used to seeing humpback whales coming up the, the slippery whale. way onto the ship. And he saw Finwell as like, what? That looks like a blue whale. It's massive. Massive. Yeah. Crazy. Super fast, too. Fastest whale in the ocean. Oh, really? Wow. Yeah. That's crazy for being the second biggest, too. Nuts. Yeah. They're, they're amazing creatures. But if you think about the fact, I mean, last year alone, Iceland killed 150-ish fin whale. 148. Yeah, 148. Yeah. And, you know, they're a vulnerable species.

And anytime something's listed as vulnerable, it means it's vulnerable headed towards extinction. Yeah. And so this is great. And, you know, it could influence Norway and Japan and some of the other whaling nations over time. So it's not like the say all and all, but it's a great step in the right direction. Absolutely, dude. They're going to be, I'll tell you where it's going to piss people off is Greenland. Because there's a lot, you eat a lot of fin whale meat. Oh, really? Like, most of the whale meat you eat there is fin whale and then like narwhal is like the delicacy. But I think a lot of the fin whale meat that they eat in Greenland comes from the Icelandic fisheries. I kind of imagine narwhal being a delicacy. Like, that blows my mind. Narwhal is the delicacy.

Like, one of the most incredible, like, unicorn animals is an edible delicacy. Hey, guys, if you're enjoying... Whoops. Guys, if you like The Wild Times, check us out on Patreon. We put out four extra podcasts per month. That's one commute a week that you're just going to be laughing and learning the whole time in the car. I do something else. This is the late night content and stuff that we...

We can't show on YouTube because they'll kick us off YouTube. It's the cinemax of podcasts. Uncensored, raw dog. It's the cinemax of podcasts. Check it out. Link right here. I didn't know until just recently that a narwhal was a real creature. I thought it was just like an ocean unicorn.

I swear to God. And then I saw it in my kids' books a lot in kids' books. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you guys, there was, man, bad, no, not bad robot. There was like a thing for a while. They had that like badger, badger, badger, badger.

Do you remember that? Then there was the narwhal song. Remember the narwhal song? What is it? Kyle knows what I'm talking about. He's nodding his head over there. Narwhal, narwhal, swimming in the ocean, causing that commotion because they are so awesome.

You don't remember that? No, but I like it. This thing right here. Pretty big and pretty white. They beat up polar in a fight. Kyle, don't get a demon. They got a kick-ass facial horn. I don't think a narwhal would be.

a polar bear in a fight. No, definitely not. I think the polar bear would just easily avoid the test. He just blew his ear drums out against the headphones. I don't think we have a camera on call. It's okay. Who cares? It's great. I mean, we're going to get demonetized for showing this, but it's fantastic. I'd much rather have your version

in my head as the only version. I can keep saying, I know all the verses, yeah. Off the air, off the air. But yeah, I'm sure the Greenlandics, Greenlandians? Yeah, Greenlandic people. Greenlandic people are going to be pretty disappointed. I mean, it's a very I mean, are they very, I mean, I'm assuming they're super traditional and an older population there. Are there a lot of younger kids?

Like you said in, uh... In Greenland? I have no idea. Yeah, you just grow up eating it and living off the ocean, right? There's no topsoil really in Greenland, so you can't plant crops. It's the same, similar argument to the Faroe Islands, right? Yeah. It's very difficult to farm because it's a volcanic island and there's so little topsoil.

Kind of the same in Iceland. Right. There is farmland there, but, you know, it's a weird thing. If you haven't been to Iceland, there's no tree. above like, I don't know, like 10 feet tall. Yeah, they're all tiny. Greenland or Iceland. And even in Iceland.

Oh, wow. There's just a tiny amount of topsoil. It's bad soil because there's so much all volcanic. Do you know this, Peter? And this is a sweeping generalization that I'm probably getting torn apart for in the comments. But the whole, like, joke is Greenland has nothing. It's just ice and barren. And Iceland is like relatively, you know, green and vegetative, which is kind of funny.

And that's like the Vikings named it wrong. when they first discovered it. Right. No, I've definitely heard that because I pulled it out as like a, as like a, you know, an icebreaker. Like, I'll just walk straight up to somebody and I'll be like, that was your opening line to your wife on Tinder, right?

That's right. Yeah. It worked. Yeah, no, it's weird. So the part, when you fly to Iceland, you fly into Keflavik, which is right next to Reykjavik. That's where the airport is. Okay. The whole area where the airport is, and like you've probably seen pictures

of like the Blue Lagoon. Yeah, of course. I'd love to dive it. It's awesome. Cool tourist attraction. That's where the Blue Lagoon is? The Blue Lagoon is right near, is close to the airport in Kefflevik. It's awesome.

It's a fun day. You go out. It's incredible. You buy your ticket to get in there. It comes with two little coupons. Each one entitles you to an ice cold beer at the little swim up bar. I'm sure they're not warm beers there. Yeah.

It's delightful. But the whole area where the airport's built, that only bubbled out of the ocean. That was ocean 600 years ago. Oh, no way. Yeah. Oh, wow. That land is only 600 years old. Oh, you're kidding.

It's crazy. Yeah, just a big volcanic, you know, I don't know exactly how it worked, but it literally bubbled up out of the ocean, so it's just like black moonscape. The northern lights are also visible from there, aren't they? The whole country, I think. So you could be potentially sitting in the Blue Lagoon watching the Northern Lights. That'd be a good moment in your life. Yeah.

Sure would. Ice Cold beer in hand. All right, so speaking of ice cold beer, can we play a little game today? I love to. I love games. Okay. So we do this thing in rugby. called Buffalo. You know what Buffalo is? Oh, it's a rugby

game? Yeah. Of course not. Okay. So a Buffalo is when you when you drink your beer, okay, you drink it. Let me guess, hold on, you chug it and then you smash it up your asshole. That is a rugby game as well. That's a different game. But we're going to do, we're going to state Buffalo rules today, okay? So here's Buffalo

rules. And here's why. Rugby is very classy, very cultural game. So if you drink with your right and then you meet somebody at a social event, no, no, give me your other hand. You're giving them a cold, wet hand. from drinking your beer. Sure.

So you can only drink with your left. Okay. And if you're caught drinking with your right, it's very rude to point. We all know this. So you have to call Buffalo. So if I see you, but it's only when you're taking a sip.

So if you're taking a sip of your beer with your right hand, and I call Buffalo, you have to finish the beer regardless of what state it's at. Got it. So it's left hand drinking only. Because we're going to be doing

a lot of handshaking on this couch. You never know. You never know. Never know who's going to storm in that door. I bet when you're playing this, what I would consider a game that eight-year-olds would play with a Kool-Aid. We're not very smart people.

I believe that this leads to a lot more spilled beers. Well, the thing is, it's not a game that you like turn on or off. It's full-time. So if you're ever out drinking, like literally you can Santa Barbara small, you guys have been many times, you're sitting at a bar and you're sipping a beer with like your wife and a rugby guy walks up. He's like, Buffalo.

Is this before or after he smacks you in the back of the head with a shoe for no reason? That can be at any point in time. God, rugby guys are such fucking apes. I love you guys. Drag your nuts around. Speaking of Buffalo. Yeah.

What's in the news? There is some Great American Buffalo bison-related news. Can we start by just saying if you see a bison, a baby, if you see anything, don't just fucking go and hug it and take a selfie with it. Just don't do it. It doesn't matter if it's a bison or a wolf. It's never going to end well. Just don't do it.

Just don't do it. Just don't do it. So what's happened? Yellowstone National Park has specifically requested that visitors understand the negative impacts of interacting with animals because, if I'm not mistaken, there was a young bison, I think, in a creek or near to a creek, and some good Samaritan jumped out of their car, rushed down to the creek and pulled this young bison out of the creek to save it, which it can swim, and it was probably absolutely fine.

And now, if I'm not mistaken, I need to check in on all of this. the mother would not take it back because it's covered in human scent. It's seen a human all over it. And now they have to euthanize the baby bison. Dude, that is terrible. And I hope they, like, called her and told her that and that it was actually, it was a guy. Really? I don't know why I thought it was a woman.

Oh, you know why I thought it was a woman? Because there was the other woman the same week who was, like, taking the selfie with it. Yeah, we watched a video on that. Yeah. And she's literally like, like her butt is on the bison and she's selfying. It's like either way you're doing it wrong. Yeah. You know, just don't like.

Like, humans are the worst. Why can't we enjoy anything without fucking filming it, dude? It's so annoying. I mean, I do it too, but I'm pretty good at, like, kind of just enjoying the moment. And then I never look at my pictures after I take them. I collect them. Ever. I've taken probably 9,000 pictures of my kid in two years.

Yeah. Once in a while, like, if I'm on an airplane, I'll, like, scroll through. Sure. I'll be a little smile and start crying. Yeah. Hey, I heard you cried at your kid's birthday party. Is that true? No, my wife texted your wife that we both got emotional at the birthday party.

You're making Kyle cry with laughter in the corner. So I like how you extrapolated it out to that I cried and made a scene. Wow, I mean, the only emotion I ever see out of you is anger. So it was either that or crying. I'm much happier now. So, dude, when I was doing the Yellowstone show last year with Cub Cost. You know, Stephen Seagall. Yeah.

Yeah. How dare you? I'm sure he would have been a pain in the ass to work with. Yes. But we had this one sequence that was amazing where the bison are crossing this river. They're crossing the Yellowstone River. Cool. And man, you see this adult bison just swept down, gone.

Oh, wow. And this little baby swimming and starts getting swept down, this little calf. And swimming across. And the mom, like, straight. downstream because the cast getting swept down, uses her body to create a break in the current. And then they swim across together and she basically builds a break. Wow. Using her big like 2000 body and they make it across.

And then she licks it and it's adorable. What I find interesting about this whole thing is that if a human touches a baby bison, bison, bison, bison, boom. The parents are gone. They just abandon it. but will risk life and almost die getting it across the river and then lick it. That's intriguing. Yeah, they couldn't. In this case where the guy pushed it up out of the river, they tried to reunite the calf with the herd and they wouldn't take it.

And then it was like wandering around the road. It's so sad. And I mean, look, like I understand the guy's point of view, especially if you're uneducated. You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Buffalo. Yep.

What does that mean? What do I have to do? You have to finish your beer. Yeah. All the way down. 9 a.m. It's good for you. It's quite early.

Nice breakfast. Good. And now you have to fill it up. You know what? I'm okay with it because fat tire is so good. Well, now you have to fill it up again and hope it's so. It's so light. Dude,

this is. It's kind of hard to reach around the mic. It is. You have to move around it. To me, because I have two drinks going. Just don't drink with your right. That's all. It's that simple.

I mean, did I ever agree to this? I don't think I agree to this. It doesn't matter. We're playing. Yeah, you have to agree to play. Yeah, but sorry, back to my point here.

I do understand where the guy's coming from. Like, if I'm driving down the road, I don't know much about him, like, I'm going to save that bison. Like, I get it. I'd do the same exact thing. If I genuinely thought the animal was in danger and that I had the ability to save it, I would try and save it. Like, good for him for thinking that way, at least, and wanting to save it.

Right. It just isn't the right thing. Right. It wasn't. There was no malintent to it. Right. But, you know, I think that's true. Well, that's true.

Maybe you wanted a new pet. Yeah. You should know. I think that everybody should know who likes animals and who loves animals. He looks like a nice guy. That's what I mean. For sure. He does.

He thinks he was helping. He had to pay. He ended up having to pay $1,000 in fines. I mean, I'm fine with that. I'm guilty. Yeah. But listen,

like anybody, if you're listening to this podcast and you're not even into animals, if you are, you have to know, leave animals alone. They don't want to be interactive. They don't want to be saved. It's true.

I mean, they just want to live their lives. If they die, they die. Also, I don't think anybody listens to this podcast doesn't like animals. I don't know, man. I don't know.

You never know. Some people listen to see me. That's true. Buffalo. Now you have to finish your beer. I'm not doing it, dude. You have to finish your beer. No.

Dude, the microphones in the way. We'll do this in a social set. How do you not understand how the game works? I do. I understand. I just don't care at all. Yeah. I'm not.

Well, that was fun. This is why you don't play rugby. You guys don't abide by the rules. No, I don't play rugby because you have to drink everybody's sweaty beer out of a sweaty shoe, and you do it every time you, you, apes get together. With pubs in it. Yeah. Ew!

Did it on Saturday? I didn't do it. I scored many times. Our rookie of the year had to. It's always the rookie, right? Yeah, of course. Yeah. It's like hazing.

You guys are hazing. All right. So I want to try, can we try the new segment now? Let's. Let's do this. Let's awesome. What is the food? Okay.

So people, I think oftentimes that, that enjoy the pod, the brosners and cissners. I think sometimes see me as like an extension of a view, right? Because they know that we've been on a lot of trips together. And so, and I think you're harder to get a hold of. That's true. I think that's true. I get a fair amount of questions on Instagram, you know, the people that DM me and stuff like that. I look at the comments.

This was your idea, this whole thing that we're doing. That is true. And it's a good idea. But just me as a TV producer who's behind the camera going on a lot of expeditions, by far the biggest question I get is about gear. 100%. Sometimes it's about camera gear, stuff like that. Yep. But it's like oftentimes about outdoor gear.

Yep. Hey, you've been to Greenland, like I'm going on a cold weather thing. What's like, what do you think is the best code is? Best boots, best bags, best hats, best shirts, best lightweight. How many questions a day do you get about people specifically asking about gear? Literally dozens. Probably two to three dozen per day. And of course, I can't respond to them all.

So they sort of just go in trash. So we thought, let's do a segment. Yep. We'll see if people like it. Yep. where we just say what's your favorite, just what's one of your favorite pieces of gear that you actually use,

that you have cool stories about, that you would be like, here's something that I actually bring on every trip. I love it. And in fact, because I'm so well prepared, I completely forgot to actually bring something to show off. But fortunately,

we're having a sleepover. Yes. And thus I pack in my outdoor gear. Yes. So I brought with me, which was lucky that you reminded me, my booie band. So you look at it and you go, all right, cool.

A regular 45-liter duffel. It looks like a very nice gym bag. It does, like a nice moss-green bag. But feel it. Give it a feel. Patrick, I gave you one of these. I know you know. Oh, yeah, it's clearly waterproof.

This is a dry bag. That is a dry bag. So this has this true zip zipper, which is this like really impressive, like imagine a giant Ziploc bag that's not going to fall apart the second you put anything heavier than a slice of bread in it.

And it's amazing. So it just looks like a duffle, but it is 100% waterproof. And I'll tell you why it's so useful. Remember when we were shooting in the Bahamas, Face the Beast? Yes, sir. Remember I gave Brian and Andrew Eukles these bags? And I said, hey, because they had to swim ashore. Remember, to overnight on the island.

Swam ashore many times. Many times. And they were going to swim ashore. And they had their, you know, remember Eukles was like, oh, I got too much gear, Chooch, can't do that, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, well, here you go. And I gave them. these bags. Uckels literally had a Jansport backpack with all his stuff that he was going to take

swimming, swimming ashore to camp for the night. Right. That's something that I would do for sure. It is. And I think Grossenbecker had a fantastic outdoors person. You, you however are not. But the point being, so we're doing this new segment, the gear review segment. This is one of my favorite things. I travel everywhere with it even to have our sleep over, which is a fully waterproof duffel. throw it in the bed of a truck, throw it on the deck of a boat. You can put your clothes in there, camera gear in there, scientific tools, anything. And as long as you zip it, I mean, look, I'll show you. Oh, and by the way, on the inside here, there's this little cinch strap.

Sin strap, yeah, to help close it so that the zipper doesn't blow out. Oh, nice. It's so nice, man. But, like, it's literally, this is how waterproof it is. So you guys will love this if anybody gets one. You zip it up all the way. Look at that. I literally kind of squeeze the air out of it.

What if I want to squeeze the air out? Well, then you unzip it, you dumb, dumb. Yeah, you unzip it a little bit. Yeah. I do like, I do like that it's incredibly, it looks super durable. So even if it's not going in the water. You beat the shit out of it. You throw it, it starts raining, you don't, like it's, for camping, like any, anything.

You can swim your gear in and out with it and it doesn't get wet. That's, that's nice. If you're, I mean, literally, I would throw my laptop in this and swim ashore and not be worried about. I went to, uh, when it starts raining, Mitch throws his red in his buoy bag. in a big panic. I went camping at Lake Kuchuma out here and I just had a bag. That's by my house. Yeah.

And I went, we got a little boat there. We didn't know what's going to happen. And I'm like stressing out about how I'm going to keep all my stuff dry. And so, of course, I just bring it like on there. Phones all wet. Everything's just soaking wet because the water's coming in the boat. Yeah. I'm not like an experienced boater.

I wish I had one of these booing bags. No, it's every bag I owns a dry bag. Yeah. Because it's just there's no. You beat the shit out of them. Yep. Great. And you just never worry about shit getting wet.

They're great. And this one, I love this one. You guys kind of make fun of me, but I wear it like a backpack. I've seen it. Oh my God. Let's see. Can we see? I'm not standing.

I can't get out. But it is and it's great. And you're right, Peter. Like that's a perfect application. These guys make a backpack. They make this duffel. They make smaller cases. Like they're fantastic.

So check out buoy gear. I'm a big fan. It's certainly important for me to have. So I recommend everybody check it out. It's great to have a dry bag. They make backpacks, duffles, smaller bags, all kinds of things. And it's one of those things you'll just never regret having. You have something that keeps your gear dry, whatever size it is.

Great gear reviews. So I use it when I travel with my wife because it's just my main duffel bag. Yeah. And for me, that fits enough stuff for a week. Perfect. Because I have, you know. A toothbrush and four T-shirts. Yeah, exactly.

One pair of jeans. So I'm always carrying it. And my wife's got her roller bag. through airports and she's like, I just don't know why you carry that thing. Like what? I'm like, it's not bothering me. And then we'll be out on a day trip. Like when we're in Mexico City and we went out to the temples.

Yeah. Starts raining. Everything's in there. That's the thing. I don't let her. She's not allowed to put anything in my drive back. You would not do that. No, of course, I have to let her.

I like the sentiment though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Good stuff. Like that segment, man. We got to do more of those. I think it's fun.

And also it's like, people love it. It's also just what we talk up, like, when we're in the field, we just talk, we fucking talk about gear. It's really fun to talk about. And also, it saves your ass. 100%. Right? If you're somewhere like on my shoot with BTG where it rained for 30 straight days, the people

who have the dopest gear are the happiest. 100%. If it's cold or if it's hot. Tools are the thing that separates us from the animals. That's right. Those that show up in moon boots and, uh, I've been thinking about Neil the entire time on this segment. Unreal. He told you how he took him to R-EI to buy stuff and then he returned it the next day.

Yeah. Unreal. He had to buy child-sized stuff also. Neil, I know you're not watching. So, F you. Yeah. Top three DFL. Right.

Game over. Game over. Dad's excited about this. This is a good idea. Okay. Also, let's introduce our new, the newest member of the Wild Times team. Edwin? Edwin, yeah, yeah.

This is from Edwin. Thank you very much. Everybody, Brosner. You probably know. him. He's an OG. Used to be on the Discord. Reaches out to everybody. He runs the TWT Memes Page. Yep. Right? And makes

all those memes, which if you haven't seen it, go check it out. You'll figure it out. It's on Instagram. TWT, shut up, Kyle. TWT memes page. Kyle's like, yes, he's going to do it right. TWT memes.com. Don't worry. Kyle will put it up on screen. Yeah, yeah. Kyle put it up. And Edwin has joined on the team officially. He is one of the

producers of the show now. So you know, give Edwin a nice Brosner high five digitally or in person. Just a good dude. Just a good dude. Yeah, good guy. Let's bring back top three DFL. We haven't done it in a while.

All right. Let's do it. For those who are new, we're just going to say a category. Everyone's going to take a quick turn, listing their top three favorites. And DFL stands for dead fucking last. Like just like what's the worst one? It's garbage. It's trash.

Terrible. Yeah. Phone apps. Ooh, that's a good one. Okay. I can go first. Are these real phone apps or we can also make fictitious? One.

Real phone apps, man. They just make up an app and be like, this is my worst, my least favorite app. Yeah, the app where it just kills you. Yeah. Okay, my top three. DFL is going to take, oh, I know my DFL. Okay, top three.

I'm going to go with the league. The league? There's a dating app. I don't know if it's still good, but I met my wife on there. Oh, wow, look at that. The league. It was great.

What I liked about it, what I liked about it, I don't even know if it still works, is that you could only see five people. a day. Oh, interesting. So for someone like me, like, it's just better because then I'm not sitting there. You're not just boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you have to really pay attention. You kind of. Why's Kyle writing down notes? Yeah. So that was that, okay, so for dating up. Number two, I can't live without. It's just a can't live without it. I don't get, I don't get food delivery. Yeah. I mean, it's a big controversial. They're a horrible company. I mean, if you have money, they're fine, but they charge you like $10 extra. If you go to the actual website and this is the reason I. I don't get. I stopped using them. It'll be $3 more. Three dollars more for the same menu item to go through DoorDash. Yes, you do generally pay for services. Hey, Dum Dum, you also pay a delivery charge, a service charge, and then there's one other

charge on there that just doesn't make any sense. Doesn't matter. I love the app. So you're talking about a $30 Taco Bell order is now $50 to $60 because of the up charge. Don't use it and stop being poor. I know what I know people hate you more now for saying that so I'm fine you're we've never I don't think ever in the history of top three DFL has someone attacked someone's picked I know that's easy it's supposed to say things you like calm down why are you so angry I'm allowed to have my own opinion on your show what's the number one get your BAC under relax relax well if I didn't have to chug beers because it's stupid I love Dordash there's

nothing more fun and comforting than just going in seeing what's new Love it. Man, I mean, this is pretty pathetic. I'm just going to say it because it's changed my life in so many ways. Let's hear it. Let's hear it. Uber. Uber.

Yeah. Oh, that's not pathetic. But it's an easy one, but it's just, it's changed all of our lives. I am old enough to have lived in L.A. Pre-Ur Uber. Pre-Ur. Yeah. You would call the yellow cab.

40 minutes. They would say five to 15 minutes. They may or may not show up. Right. Yeah. have no way to track it either. No. They might be coming.

Dude, could you imagine? Like, that was only a few years ago. You didn't know. Not that long ago. Now you can like watch them. Yeah. I feel like Uber is maybe a technology we got from the alien crafts. Fact.

DFL. Easy for me. What is it? The Domino's Pizza app. Oh, I've never, never had it. I like a nice, I love pizza. You love Domino's. You do.

Once a week. Domino's thin crust. Great product. You love it. I know. The problem with the app is this. They tell you, you know, John put your pizza in the oven. Right.

They're like, okay, cool. Your pizza's out of the oven. Great. Sure. Then it tells you it's out for delivery. Okay. Time's going by. Times going by.

Times going by. But I know what time my pizza came out of the oven. Right. And now 20 minutes has gone by. And there's still no sign of John. No sign of the delivery guy. Now I'm preheating my oven to re-warm a pizza that does not deal well. with being rewarned.

It's a stressful scenario for you. It's already ruined. Yeah. The eating experience is over. It's over. I deleted the app. I'm done. And to be honest,

I mean, this is my opinion. I'm done with Domino's, period. Because of the app? Because of the user experience is no longer good, man. Like,

I probably, I grew up eating this shit, right? So Domino's is like a nostalgia food. It was Friday at my house. Same. Right. Big in college.

Oh, yeah. The last probably five or six times I've ordered it. it just shows up like a fucking brick. The cheese is on half the pizza. It's ice cold. It's always ice cold.

That's a testament to just people getting lazier, though. The delivery drivers are flying around the car. And plus, I introduce you to Marcos. Go to Marcos. It's Marcos's mom. We had that last time I was our past. It's so good.

Forrest, what are your top? No, no, no. Let me go second because I've been studying. He needs more time. I'll study too for a second. I think I got online. But yeah, go ahead. So I'm going to go top app.

I use it every day. And there's actually a big contract. controversy right now. It's an app, a third-party app to browse Reddit called Joey. Reddit is getting rid of the third-party apps. You love Reddit. I use this app, I mean, if I looked at the time on phone, it'd be six, seven, maybe eight hours. I'm on this app more than I look at my kid. Is it because you got banned from Reddit? Yeah. Well, I'm banned from posting on Reddit, but the good part about Reddit is you can still always browse. Okay. Got it. Got it. So that, that's my, uh, by far my top app. My, uh, my second app that I would

go with is it's got to be Venmo, dude. Venmo's great. It's a game changer for sure. Dude, it's just like Uber. It used to be like you had to have cash to pay like service people to do things. Now it's just like, oh, here, here's your QR code. Oh, boom, you're paid out of my bank account. It's actually like gotten to the point where it's infuriating when someone doesn't have it.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're like, why? Just make your life better. But I've like, I've been trying to tell my mom to get Venmo for like four years because She's always like, you still owe me $8 from that? I'm like, I don't have $8 cash. Nobody's carried cash since like 2017.

Yeah, most stores don't even take it anymore. Yeah, like, I'm just like, get one way for me to pay you other than write you a $7 check or go to the bank and get cash. Checks have to be the absolute worst form of money transfer in the world. You're just putting a piece of paper that has, I believe it used to have your social security number on it. It should just be addressed, your phone number. everything. Your bank account, your routing number.

And you just sort of throw it in the mail. You're like, hope it lands. U.S. Postal Service, always killing it. Dude, my mom sent out a check. Her bank account

got hacked for $1,000. I'm like, my, you can't send out checks to pay your Comcast bill anymore. Don't do that. You can't do it. So the last one,

and this is my number one, man. This is a game changer. It's a wonderful gift. And I got this for my mom because we had the kid. It's an app called Framio. And it's this new. Frame.

No, no, frame EO. Oh, I think I have signed. Dotio like that. So basically you can buy these digital frames with pictures. Yeah. And then with the app, you just set, upload pictures to it. It goes to your mom's frame. So like with the kid, I'm just, and they have a bunch of different ones.

Dude, I'm, I'm, I'm buying that for my mom for Christmas. It's a great gift. Not a sponsor, by the way. No, but that's a great idea. That's an amazing idea. It's so good. Does it go to your hidden album because that would be a problem? No, no.

You have to specifically upload. Okay. But if you want to have one in your room and you send your hidden album ones there to get in the mood, you can do that too. Interesting. DFL. DFL, I have this lock on my door. It's an automatic lock. It's a quick set lock is the brand name.

Their app is the shittiest. This is an app that is supposed to unlock your door when you click unlock on it. Doesn't work. Yep. Constantly updating, like loses Bluetooth. connection. It has other benefits. Like it's a fingerprint and you can use a regular key. But the app, it's like they just made the app as an afterthought. Like nobody's going to use this app to actually open the freaking door.

Yeah. Some 12 year old. Yeah. And it's never gotten better. I've had it for over a year. They keep saying they've improved things. It's worse. So it's worse. Click Set lock app. F off. DFL. Wow. Okay. Here we go. So mine are, none of these are sponsors. They're just, uh, all outdoor related apps that have changed how I do things. I was hoping you would go in this direction. Yeah, because that's what I thought of straight away. So my third one is Onyx. I don't know if you guys have heard of it.

Yeah, Onyx is great. So Onyx is an off-road app. There's an on onx off-road app. I just have the off-road one. But what's so good about it for mushroom hunting and for anybody listening to this wants to explore, it tells you where public land and private land is. And it'll even tell you who owns the private land on the app.

So if you're like, man, I always wanted to hike through here, it'll list on there like the name of the corporation or owner of the private land and you can send them an email or be like hey would it be possible to come hike through here or mushroom hunt or check out that waterfall or more importantly you can be like oh here's the onyx and you didn't hear this from me oh the house is way up on that corner of the property and only this little chunk is private and the waterfall's right there so if i just hop this one fence now i know i know it's a Life pro to a huge game changer for like avid, like hunters. Yeah, big time.

Yeah. Yeah. So Onyx is great. It's like the Uber for outdoors people, basically. Pretty much. It sounds like a game changer. It's great. And then similar to that, the other one that I think has changed literally everybody's

life that goes onto the water is Navionics. Navionics is an app that has all of the bathymetry, all of the closure zones. What's pathymetry? It's geography underwater. Oh, cool. Like where the peaks and valleys are, you know, blah, blah, blah. underwater. And as long as you have service or you have the map downloaded, it acts just like a big old Garmin, like no fish finder or anything, but like a Garmin chart plotter.

So you can literally just like jump on any little shitty speedboat or canoe or anything and throw up your navionics and be like, oh, can't go in there. That's a close zone. Oh, this looks like good fishing. There's like a good reason. Is it all satellite or do you need to have cell signal for that one to work? So you need to have cell signal for it to be live updating where you're going, but you can download the map ahead of, you have to pay for, well, these are all pay for apps, but you have to pay for it ahead of time. But like, when I'm going to Baja, like Kyle was with me, and I'll be like, oh, I'm going to be in this area of Baja. Download the whole map, no cell phone service, and the satellite will upload where you are.

So your little, just like on your, you know, Google Maps or whatever, your little icon of where you are will move around. It's not perfect because it's not like a fish finder where you're like, oh, I'm right over the rock pile or whatever, you know, it's like. But this is like something that 10 years ago, you would have. have to pay $800 for to have on your boat. More than that. Yeah. Like $8,000 back in the day.

It's crazy how the world has changed. Yeah, so I love that app. And I think, you know, it's really replaced a lot of like chart plotting stuff, which is great. I mean, like, literally, when I was in New York a few weeks ago, we were pretty much lost in the sound. And I was like, oh, this is the port we came out of. I can see it here.

And we just follow the navionics back. Nice. Yeah. And the number one for me, I've talked about it before, but that bird buddy thing. The fact I can just look at the birds. That thing is awesome. Yeah. Look at the birds on my.

my phone, like who's visiting the bird feeder? I forgot. God. I didn't even bring the fucking gear. I just brought my duffel bag. I was like the thing I was, I was most excited about you coming over before. I was like, what are the things I need to bring? And then I forgot. Yeah, but it's okay. It's sitting in my office for you. So it's there. But yeah, I love that one. The bird buddy, man. That thing's incredible. It's so cool. See the birds live. What's your DFL? My DFL, there's two that I'm debating between, but I think it has to be the Apple fitness, Apple Health. Is it hell? You know the one with the little? heart you guys probably have. It's useless. It's garbage. It's like I wear the whoop. I have

the garment thing and then I have the apple. The whoop and the garment are like, okay, you did 2,180 steps today. And the other one's like, you did 2,1882 steps. And then Apple's like, you did 18,974 steps today. It's all over the place. And then the next day will be like, you did no steps. I'm like, I just ran a half marathon. It's just a fucking mess, dude, like that. And I used to rely on the Apple health app for like my data, like my workout data for like a couple years. Yeah. It's clownish. Well, just, it's still better than DoorDash, though.

I just want to throw that out there. I hate your back. That's a fun game. I'm glad you brought it back. Do you think I want to live like this guy? No. Who am I going to take life advice from? I mean, what do you mean?

You've been banned from Reddit. Like, you have. You've never been on Reddit. I've actually, I have not signed on Reddit. The only reddits I've read are the ones you send me. That's okay. angry about app. It's fine. This whole thing about me being angry, it's like if we've got a 120 podcasts we can go back and listen to and I'd like to run it through AI and see who spent

more time being angry. It's definitely you on air. Yeah, but I'm not, I'm not angry about like little dumb shit like that. Um, all right, well, I'm going to get angry if we don't do a video review. Hey, Brousers, thank you for being loyal subscribers. We appreciate everything that you do. And now we have a membership offer for you. I think you can get ad-free episodes, I heard. That's pretty big. Ad-free's big, but you can also get your comments looked at so we don't have to sift through the millions.

How do you do that? Is there some sort of badge system? There's a badge system, a loyalty badge. Boom! Shows up next to your name in the comments. Boom. We read the comment. All this badge talks, I'm going to the badge store.

He's going to get a badger. He's going to buy one, didn't earn it. He's going to buy one. He did a fake leave. I assumed Kyle would note that cut on the motion All right, let's cut now. That's our ad. USAA knows dynamic duos can save the day like superheroes and sidekicks or auto and home insurance.

With USAA, you can bundle your auto and home and save up to 10%. Tap the banner to learn more and get a quote at usa.com slash bundle. Restrictions apply. You're great at protecting your data, but lots of places could still expose you to identity theft. I thought it was safe. If that happens, LifeLock gives you a U.S.-based restoration agent who will stick by your side from start to finish. Phone calls, filing documentation, preparing insurance claims, your agent handles it all.

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So turns out this is a little bit all. But when you think of your trip to Hawaii, you probably don't think of monk seals. Well, look at this lady. She decides to go for a nice swim in an area that was closed off to swimming because this monk seal was given, had a pup. Oh, my gosh. Oh, yeah. She's hammering her.

Wow. She's getting bit. Sorry, the mother is chasing and biting this swimmer. And I mean, what a beautiful area, by the way. Crystal blue water. Oh, my God. Look at this mother monk seal protecting her baby. And if there were audio on, you'd hear, people are like, get out of the water.

And the woman's just like not listening. It's so, like, calm and beautiful. There's no excuse. The water's not rough. She could hear. Dude, monk seals are big, too. Yeah, that thing's massive, twice the size of her, at least. And Edwin was telling me, I have it here, he was saying that this area was either closed or there

were signs. What did he say? It was roped off. It was roped off. Yeah, because the seal had just given birth. Yeah, and so it was like a known thing. Yeah. A rope is pretty clear.

It's pretty clear. And I just want to, the reason I wanted to do a video on this is, one, seals can be dangerous. We think of them as like docile puppies and stuff. Like water dogs. Anything with its pup, anything with its babe, don't mess with it. And two, just be respectful. Like, that's a blatant disrespectful, like, oh, a mother seal endangered animal, by the way, has had a pup. I'm just going to go for a swim over there.

Like, don't do that. How closely related is the Hawaiian, I have to imagine the Hawaiian monk seal and the extinct Caribbean monk seal or pretty closely. I think so. I mean, and there's also a European monk seal as well. And so, yeah, or Grecian or, man, that's like that. I did not realize that monk seals were that big. No, they're big. Beautiful animal, too. Kao, can you just pull up a picture of a Hawaiian monk seal? They're really cool looking. What's the difference between a monk seal and a regular seal other than size, obviously? I don't know about the difference per se. It's just, you know, a species, a group or a family rather. Okay. Look how cute they are of seal. But let me ask you this.

Let me riddle you this. Do you know the difference between a seal and a sea lion? No. Fair enough. Patrick? Not really. No, I know there's two different things, but ears? Years. Really?

So that's, I mean, there's other morphological differences, but the fastest, easiest way to tell, you look at the animal and it has ears. Kyle, you can actually pull this up for us, please. Seelions have extruding ears, whereas seals just have basically a hole in the head. See the little, like, doggy ears there versus the nests. No ears over there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Seal versus sea line. Dude, they're just water dogs, man. And by the way, for all the brosters, this is a great way to be like a pretentious asshole in front of all your friends. No, don't. Don't stay with me now. You go on a boat because any time, if you're in California and you see one of these guys, either one in the water, your friends go, oh, look a seal. And you go, that's a sea lion. Yeah.

Yeah, you have to laugh first. Yeah, yeah. You have to chuckle like what an idiot that person is. And then you can tell them, well, clearly it has ears, and that's a California sea lion. And then they're going to yell at you and be like, you're such a douchebag and turn around and they're going to do it to the next person. 100%. It's great. And just remember, you learned it on the wild times. Wild times. It's funny. I feel like any time we're in a situation where it's, you know, sea lion versus seal or turtle versus tortoise, Mitch always says the opposite one, even if it's the less common one. I've been trying for years to, I think he's doing it on purpose because he's not an idiot.

No, definitely not. I think he does it just to grind my gears. Yeah, because it would be like day six of like a tortoise-based shoot and he's calling it a turtle. Then we're looking for the soft-shell turtle and he's calling it a tortoise. The whole time. Yeah. Definitely doing it to mess with me. Yeah, and it works because my face turns red with anger.

Yeah. Well, that's because you almost got him killed by a rhino. Only once? Do you know what the word for turtle in Española is? El tortice, tortuga. Tortuga. I like it. So that's turtle in Spanish.

What are you thinking? Tortoes. Turtle. Tortuga. Also tortuga. It's the same word for both. Yeah. So it's just easier.

Which is logical, by the way. Why? Why? Because it's just, you're naming the group. Right. You know what I mean? You're just like, yeah, it's green and it's got a shell. Yeah.

But I thought like turtles. One word's good. Turtles are more aquatic and tortoises are not. Generally. Yeah, more than generally. Like for like 96% I would say. Wait, is there a turtle that doesn't swim? Yeah, box turtles.

No. What? Oh, yeah, you're right. They don't not swim, but they're land turtles that are pretty shitty swimmers. Like, they'll drown. Like, if I have a little box turtle. I'll tell you how I got Davis, our little box turtle. I don't remember.

Oh, it's kind of funny. So we have one of these guys in Eastern Box Turtle. You dunk him in water that he can't stand in. He drowns. Really? Yeah. How did this species survive? What advantage does it have?

It's not venomous. It's a good question. Yeah, I just, you know, over time. So the box turtle has this hinge. Kyle, go to the bottom right picture, not two up from there, sorry. So they have a hinge right there, see that, that they can close. Oh, wow. There's a little advantage.

So that's the advantage. So they've lost, you know, evolution is tradeoffs, right? You trade off one thing for another. So they've traded off the ability to swim, come on land, and develop this hinged shell. Dude, it's so crazy every time I learn a new, like, just ludicrous fact. And I'm just like, what? Like, how is this real life? This is just like, things are insane when you look at it.

animals. It's a turtle that has a hinge that closes so it can be completely inside with no head sticking out. It's crazy. You know that, right? The turtle shell is its backbone. I did not. Yeah. So imagine if instead of your vertebrae inside of your skin, it came out of your skin and then encased your body. That's what a turtle shell is. So that is their vertebrae. So like the old cartoons where the turtle comes out of a shell naked and all that stuff. Right, right. Not a thing. Like that that is their backbone. So the shell is the backbone of a turtle. If you take a turtle shell off, it will not just run around naked. No, sadly.

And I have tried. It'll be dead. Yeah. It won't turn red face. Yeah. So the box turtles were just like, I just don't like being wet. Yeah. I want to try something else.

That's it. You know, because all turtles minus the Fly River Turtle leave the water to lay eggs. Right. So they all come and they nest on riverbanks and lake shores and things like that, sea shores. And then I would guess over millions of years, the box turtle was just like, well, it's way better out here. Yeah. And slowly they just decided to move up there. What's the most common turtle?

Is that a painted turtle? Red ear slider. The ones that are out here like you'll see. Well, sadly, what should be out here are Western pawn turtles, which they've just changed the Latin, but beautiful native little turtle. It's got this brown, like, crazy palm tree. If you look at their shell patterning. There go that one.

Yeah, that one. Got these really cool, like, shell. Now, that one's kind of shitty. But you see the one on the right a little bit better. this cool shell patterning. But what's happened is redier sliders, native to North America, but east of the Rockies, the Rockies where their geographical barrier, have now, they're super popular in the pet trade, incredibly hardy.

Like I have like five in my pond that are all rescues. And they're pretty too, you know, they get a lot of green color and that nice red pop on their head. Yep. They're everywhere. Yeah, those are the ones I always see. Because I was just out the other day at this pond and it had all these turtles in it. And I was wondering which turtles are these.

Those were the guys right there. If you see the red, it's a dead giveaway. But, yeah, unfortunately, and they're just like the lionfish on the East Coast or whatever, entirely from the pet trade. Yeah. And they don't hybridize with the Western pond turtles or basically any of the other species where they're introduced. Yeah. But they outcompete them for habitat and resources. They are a better, more able animal.

They breed faster. They get bigger. They're stronger. They survive more. So are they invasive? Oh, yeah. Oh, so they are. No, they're a problem.

Yeah. And now actually, this is quite recent. Oh, I never told you guys about my snapping. That's a hilarious story. Let's have it. I mean, we've talked about snapping turtles a lot. I'll have to see if I can find this picture. So snapping turtles.

We've talked about the one in the bathtub and all of that. Like, they're not native to the West Coast. Okay. My buddy and I, Ricardo, are up hiking in Ohio, California, which is, you guys have both been Ohio. It's pretty remote. And we're in the Matilla Hawk Creek, which, if anybody's ever been up there.

Not near town. It's like 30 minutes outside of town. You hike for like an hour to get into it. It's not, it's remote. Like really fucking remote. Yeah. And we're hiking down this creek, just the two of us. I think we're fishing or something.

Sitting in a puddle, this was like three years ago, is a common snapping turtle the size of this table. What? Yeah. Invasive species. Like not native to the West Coast at all. Yeah. And so I'm guessing it's someone's pet that was like this big or something.

Yeah. that has escaped and gone into this creek. But just like the one in a billion odds of finding this fucking thing. And it's just gotten huge. And it's massive. And there's so many crayfish in there. Yeah, I mean, it's one of these guys. Yeah, those are big boys.

Look at the legs on that thing. I'm probably going to get in trouble for telling the story, but I don't really care. And you can't prove it. So take that. But so we find this turtle and we're sitting there, you know, we've been fast fishing and stuff. And I'm like, what do we do? And Rick's like, yeah, just leave it, whatever.

I'm like, I can't leave it. It's invasive species, like, crazy. I can't keep it. If I put it in my pond, it's going to eat all my coy and my other turtles and stuff. So I take this thing. I tape its mouth shut. I stick it in my backpack and it weighs like 40 pounds. I hike this turtle out. Take it to my house. Put it in one of those big clear Costco tubs with some water for two days. Yeah. And I won't say the person's name because I don't want to get them in trouble. But I call my friend who runs a wildlife rescue place in Illinois where they're native to. And I explain the situation. And I'm like, look, if I, if I, if I

call fish in game, they're going to euthanize it. I don't want to keep it. I don't want to let it back go in California. I'm not driving it to the Midwest. And he's like, well, you shipped it, put it in a box and poke a few holes in it and overnight it. And this is before I had a FedEx account

or anything. It cost me $400. And I overnighted this 40 pound turtle to my buddy. I swear to God, this is true story. I swear to God, this is a true story. And I was like, fuck, I hope it makes it. Because I don't know if it's going to free you. to death or anything. Well, I mean, it was either going to be euthanized or this, so. I'll say his first name. Rob calls me and goes, yep, turtle arrived. He's all good.

Nice. He kept him for like six weeks, made sure there were no diseases, like gave him a good bedadine bath, all of that, and let him go in the swamp right, right by his house. And it's, and it's fine for it to be there. Yeah. That's where it's native to. They're native to Illinois. So that turtle went from like living it up in SoCal in a creek with everything to eat and all these things to stuck to a Chicago fucking winter. But yeah, no, true story. We found this massive snapping turtle in Ohio. 40 pounds snapper made his way. And I know it was 40 pounds because they weighed it in front of me. FedEx. I was sweating too because I was like, they're going to open. And you hear it too. It's like, yeah, of course. In the box. And luckily the FedEx guy was like 14

and had braces and zits and like didn't notice. But I was like somebody's going to rip this thing open. By the way, so Kyle just took a sip of his, he's not drinking fat tire. He's drinking a very bubbly Kirkland brand sparkling water. He leftied it. But I was watching like a hawk because I wanted to get him. Yeah, that'd be nice. Because I wanted to see him chug, try to chug that. True.

Oh, because I thought it would be hilarious if Kyle had to chug that. Sparkling water and spit it all over his laptop. And then just vomit foam for 30 minutes. That'd be nice. Do you know how? Yeah, it's time. It's time. The White.

For Battle Royal! Brosner, Brian Thompson, submitted this one. Brino. Forrest picked it. He likes it. I like it a lot.

Thanks, Brian. Spelled with a Y. B.R. Y, A.N. Yeah. B.R. Y, A.N. B.R. Y, A.m. Oh, yeah. Brian, instead of spell with an F.

Yeah. Right. Or a T. What do we got? All right. So, this Battle Royale, submitted by Brian Thompson, is make a hybrid

of three animals to create the ultimate fishing buddy. Love it. I'm a big fisherman. As usual, it's head body and a special power. The caveat, though... Head body special power. Okay. The caveat, though, is only one feature

can be from an aquatic animal. Okay. This is tough, but let me go first since I don't have a Google here, and I want to take the best animal. It doesn't have a Google. You don't have a Google machine? I don't have a Google machine.

Let me just take it. the best animal first. I'm going with the octopus. That's your... That's my one aquatic. Okay, and what about the octopus? So the octopus... The head, the body, or the special power? It's going to have the body. Okay, the eight arms.

Yeah, with the eight arms. Very good. So when I, you know, tentacles, arms. Yep, that's fine. That's good. Rosters, you're going to have to weigh in and let us know who wins this one when we're done. Pat, you want to...

It's got a lot of ability to grab. Yeah, can grab eight fish at once. Also, let us know who's you hate. Like if you hate the people on the podcast, let us know. If you hate Kyle. If you hate me, it's fine. I love it. What if they're mad at Edwin already?

I would be. Why isn't he in the room? Okay, I find fishing to be god awfully boring. I don't enjoy it. I also really don't enjoy handling the worms. It's just something I've never got. I'm with you on that. I don't enjoy handling the fish or the worms.

Yeah. I'm laughing like their little girls. It's just their choices. Avid fisherman. So I'm going to be bored. and I'm going to go for fun with my fishing buddy because I got to be there for six hours

so I'm going to start I'm going to start with the head I'm going to do this I'm going to start with the head and brain of a chimpanzee okay I thought you were going full golden retriever but I mean just real quick

like an adult one or like a baby one no no a full adult chimp well they're pretty vicious aren't they Don't worry about that. They bite. Okay. Don't worry. Right for the genitalia.

No, I mean, the assumption for all of these are that this creature is going to be trained. Of course. Yeah. Of course. Fair enough. And we scale to the body as always. The animal's the size of the body. Head, body, special power.

Okay. All right. Here we go. I'm going to pick first with the head of a cormorant. Okay. A cormorant is. What's that? A hilarious animal.

Love him. Yeah. Goofy looking seabird. This guy right here. Oh, nice. Now, what's really interesting about this, and this is pretty cool, I believe it's China, might be Vietnam. Guys will actually train them to fish for them, and they'll put little rings around their necks.

And so what'll happen is they'll get a flock of cormorants. And Kyle, hopefully you can find this, yeah, like that first picture there, Cormorant fishing. They'll get a whole flock of cormorants, and they'll go out on their boats and they'll fish with these cormorants. And the reason the rings around his neck, like you can see there, is they'll catch the fish, and the fish that are small enough, they'll swallow. And the fish that are too big, they'll spit back in the guys.

boat. Oh my God. That's incredible. Yeah. And so these are awesome. Like, see it there. They're really good diving birds. They can see fish from really far away and swim down and grab them. But I'm just taking the head for right now. Got it. I will say in the Galapagos, I spent a lot of my downtime just watching the cormorants. Dive and swim underwater. Yeah. And just even just when they're on land because they're all doing, they do that funny thing with the throat. Yeah. They're funny little bird. Not little. They're big. Yeah. They're cool birds. Yeah. Okay. So, I'm still working on my body, so I've got the head of a cormorant,

special powers of praying mantis. Okay, so you imagine those little sithor claws there. Those are just barbed spears that that guy has. So you're spearfishing. Yeah, so I'm building a good diver here. So I got the head of a cormorant, great free dive, breathhold, ability to seek out fish,

and then these two built-in spears that just shoot out, they're barbed, you're going straight through a fish, pulling it back in. It's a good critter so far. All right. So we're going to figure out the body. So while you're in the water spearfishing, I'm mostly sitting on the boat, drinking a few fat tires, having a bunch of laughs.

Okay. Sure. Yucking it up. Yeah, I've got this chimp head. Yep. Human facial features. Yep. Of course.

Let me ask you this. What's the only thing when you're sitting around having laughs, what's better than laughing at someone who's really funny? Getting laughs. Oh, okay. Someone who's laughing at all your jokes, right? Someone who thinks you are hilarious. Very true. I'm going with the special power of a hyena.

Yeah. You're going to laugh at everything. Cattling hyena. I wasn't going to catch a fish either way. He wasn't. Okay. He's really just going for entertainment value. And because you have the brains of the chimp, it'll actually be laughing at things that you do.

And just cackling away. the whole time. That's intro. By the way, there was no way I was getting that set up. Yeah, I don't know why I did that. It was good, though.

All right, so I'm up for two. What the Google machine say? Yeah. Yeah, I did have to look. I apologize, but the game would be stupid and you'd be bored. Sorry.

So I'm going with the strength as my special ability of a rhinoceros beetle. Okay. Right? Okay. That means that my octopus, when I send him out into the water,

he'll come back because he's, well, if it's only the body, I'll have something rigged up where he doesn't get injured. And he'd be like bait, but like in like a harness, not like a hook through the mouth. So he'll be out there with his eight tentacles, very strong, able to basically if I wanted like a humpback whale, a blue whale, that strong to body size can just pull it right into my. We don't know the body. Oh, no, we do know the body.

The body is the body. And then so what is the strength of a rhino beetle? Yeah. So it's. Okay. That's pretty strong, right? It's very strong scaled. I'm just one.

You're still not killing blue whales with an octopus. I know. I might be able to grab a nice big, like... It's called a joke. It's a good joke. You're getting a tasty salmon out of this. I got to. Something big, something delicious.

Fair enough. And, you know, so... And then what do I need a head? Yeah. A head. You got to know what it's going to look like. The head doesn't really matter. I should just make it as ridiculous as possible.

Give it my head. I'm going to go with that. I'm doing it. Fair enough. You're just hanging out with this. Pat's head on a bunch of tentacles. That's really, really strong. It is so good.

If anybody is going to create this art, I don't care if you use AI, use your hands. I want to see Pat's head on an octopus body. It's going to give me a really sharp point of nose. All right. So I've got the laughing chimp head. It needs a body. It needs a body.

Not a capable fisherman so far. No. I want it on a really, really just fun. I don't want the body to be too big because I'm in a robot. Sure. Sure. But I do want to help rowing the boat. Oh, interesting.

I want something that has arms that's cute. Bad fishing. It's just like, it'll get him there. It won't do anything. Yeah, no fishing taking place. It'll row me there, laugh hysterically. And then. And row you back.

And row back. So I want something that has imposable thumbs. I already did a primate. Can I take two primates? Sure. Why not? Yeah. That wasn't in the rules.

Arongaton. A red-time body. Very nice. Okay. I like it. So I have the head of a cormorant, the special spear powers. Look at body. Look at that thing's beautiful.

How good is that going to be at rowing? Yes, very, very good. It's like having four oars. It's going to be like a speedboat. You're going to be like in a speed boat. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Do they have a tail that it could use as a rudder?

Negative. Negative. Negative on the tail rod. All right. So cormorant and what? Praying mantis. Spears. And does the cormarin count as my sea creature?

Is it a sea creature? Or my aquatic animal? I would say no. I don't think that's in the spirit of the rule. Was that the bird? All right. It's a bird. Okay.

I'll agree with that one. So, cormorant head, got those spears going on, and then I'm just going to put that on a nice wahu fish. Isn't that the fish that you eat? It's a delicious fish. It's also the fastest fish in the sea. Oh, okay. So now you've got, I was really going for the fish in this one. So now you've got this head that is just dynamite for spotting fish.

These arms that can shoot out spear fish on something that can swim like 60. Look up the top speed of a Waucahaw? I want to say it's like 45 miles. Wow. This thing. That's crazy. You don't even have to like lay in weight. You can just any fish that you see, you can just be like that one.

Got it. It will catch it, grab it, store it in its mouth. Exactly right. Yep. Bring it back. Yeah. 60 miles an hour. That is insane.

60 miles an hour in the water. Do you? I don't have to do a lot of fishing. I can hang out on the boat. I can chill. I have a nice snorkel. That's got to be like one of the top speed of fish in the water. It's the fastest fish.

I think there's some debate recently about Wahoo versus Blue Marlin. No, Stripe Marlin. I don't know. Look it up. What's the fastest fish, gal? I believe there was some debate recently. Somebody was like no marlin or technically five or maybe a sailfish. No Pacific sailfish.

Okay. 68. 68, yeah. That's not going to be an issue because. your cormorant's mouth is not going to be able to store anything bigger than probably this. Yeah. So a nice eating fish. A lot of small fish.

Yeah. Well, I will say this. Well, no, I mean, you're definitely not in it at all. But between me and forest, actually catching fish and enjoying our time fishing and bringing back a nice fish to eat. Do you have to listen to Pat groaning about fishing the whole time, though? I mean, what else is he going to be doing out there? Just complaining about fishing. That's it.

Well, to mention, my hair is going to be all matted. down every time I surfaced with my octopus arms. That's a mess. All right, grossners, weigh in, let us know who won. I'm not going to, I can recap them. Is it my Wahoo with the head of a cormorant and the special ability of a praying mantis? Patrick's chimpanzee headed hyena with the body of an orangutan. Or Peter's Patrick-headed octopus with a strength of a rhinoceros beetle.

Dude, I'm getting some good. Who are you fishing with? and what are you making? That's, that should be the question. It's not who won. It's not who's the most creative. Yeah.

It's, who's fishing boat do you want to go out on? Yeah, that's the real question. Yeah, I mean, it was as a fishing buddy, so. That's it. That was the rules. Yeah.

So if you want a screaming hyena in your ear for six hours, that's literally what it sounds like. The whole time. Pick that. Every joke. We love you guys. That was a good thing. Oh, shit.

I got to do the thing. If you want, we got to do the thing. many more podcasts. We do six total a month. You got the two free ones. Four bonus pods on Spotify. You can subscribe there to get the four extras. You can subscribe on Patreon to get the four extras. And listen, if you want the rest of the links to everything, just go to wild times.com club forward slash info. And that will be the links to everywhere you can listen to us. We got sponsors. You can find links to them. Everything, yada, yada,

Kyle, play the music. No, before you do, if you made it through Peter's thing, go into the comments and write octopat. That's what we made. We made an octopat to see how many people actually made it to the very end of the show. I love it. Good night.

Good night, everybody. I'm drunk at 10 in the morning, great. Nothing. No, no. Have another beer, Buffalo. I've smoked a joint. That's all I do when I wake up. Do you smoke?

No. I don't think so. I'm too old for that. Good joke, though. Good joke. Thanks.