Wild Times: Wildlife Education - World's Biggest Snake Discovered in India - TWT 149

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

We discuss how scientists are using new technology to monitor lion health, the world's largest snake and the top 10 biggest snakes ever found, and our late-night eating habits. Enjoy! Win up to $5,000 cash! How to enter: - Make a video - Post your video on Instagram and tag @leathermantools and @wildtimespod - Alternatively, you can submit your video directly at wildtimes.club/leatherman. - Then, at the end of the month, we'll be announcing two winners: Most Original Video: $2,500 Cash Prize Funniest Video: $2,500 Cash Prize Go to https://wildtimes.club/leatherman to learn more. Leatherman: Use promo code WILDTIMES10 at checkout on https://www.leatherman.com to save 10% on any Leatherman product through June 30, 2024 Rocket Money: Cancel your unwanted subscriptions. https://rocketmoney.com/wildtimes Mack Weldon: Get 20% off your first order with promo code WILD. https://mackweldon.com/ Pre-Order the Battle Royale Card Game Here: https://wildtimesmedia.thrivecart.com/battle-royale/ 🎧 Exclusive Ad-Free Podcasts on Spotify 🎧 Subscribe for more: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh... 💖 Join Our Patreon Community 💖 Unlock exclusive perks: / wildtimespod 🔊 Listen to Our Show on Spotify 🔊 Explore our episodes: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cbFBzf... 📡 Subscribe via RSS 📡 Add us to your podcatcher: https://anchor.fm/s/aee18224/podcast/rss 📸 Follow Us on Instagram 📸 For awesome animal facts and videos: / wildtimespod 💬 Join the Conversation on Discord 💬 Connect with fellow nature lovers: / discord 👕 Shop Our Exclusive Merchandise 👕 Wear your passion: https://thewildtimespodcast.com/merch Enjoy, brosteners! TWT 149 Breakdown: 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:29 - How Much Money Do You Make on Cows? 00:03:54 - Apple Watch Can Measure Lion Vitals 00:08:29 - Battle Royale 00:21:51 - Kissing Your Dog + Express Dog Anal Glands 00:24:24 - Leatherman Giveaway 00:28:26 - Top 10 Biggest Snakes Ever 00:44:40 - Catching Anaconda in Amazon 00:58:31 - Workout Chocolate 01:01:01 - Why the McRib is Limited Time Only 01:02:07 - Bioscience 01:03:08 - Peter's Late-Night Eating Habits 01:12:01 Outro Jingles made by: www.soundcloud.com/mimmkey https://www.newbelgium.com/beer/fat-t... #wildtimespod #podcast

You said this place was steps from the water. We just haven't found the steps yet. How much did we save? Enough. Enough to get lost. Or you could book a stay with Hilton. Welcome to your ocean front room. Just steps from the water.

The Hilton sale is on now. Book on Hilton.com or the Hilton app and save up to 20% to get the stay you expected. When you want savings, not surprises. It matters where you stay. Hilton, for the stay. Own it all. Pay off your home, travel for life, drive a Ferrari. In celebration of the world premiere of the Monopoly Big Board Buckslot machine by Aristocrat Gaming,

Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is giving one person a $1.6 million dream package. The biggest prize in Yamava's history. Club Serrano members can earn daily instant prizes and secure a spot in the finale May 29th. Don't pass go and own it all, only at Yamava, celebrating its 40th anniversary. You win? Details at Yamava.com must be 21-20. Please gamble responsibly. Monopoly is a trademark of Hasbro. Hasbro is not a sponsor of this promotion. All right. Are you guys ready?

Yeah. Wild time. There it is, baby. There's that music. Woo! I'm ready to go today. Look at me. I dressed for the occasion.

You must have done a workout this morning. Bro, I'm trying to leave as much skin on the table as possible. Did you bring shoes today? Nah. He drove here barefoot. I like that. That is illegal. That's like police.

Nah, no. This isn't live. Don't worry. I'm your host, Forrest Galante, the broologist. Joining me in his 1980s. What's the 1980s workout guy, remember, with the Richard Simmons? His Richard Simmons look.

Yeah. Are those fat tire sweatbands? Yeah, that's right. That's awesome. Dude, living it up. Peter hit the elliptical this morning. He's full of energy. Five a and I did that.

Wash it down with some Bruce cups up at 503. That's Peter. He is PhD in podcasting, the broologist. And in between the two of us, looking less workout-y. Yeah. Pop-a-Pee himself. They can't work out. My collarbone's not.

Still pretty bad. He's crooked. It's been like two months. He's dying. What's going on, guys? I got something I want to talk about. Saw this on Instagram a couple days ago. And it was shocking to me.

What do you got? Because I started reading the comments. It was a question. And I started reading the comments and I was like, we live in a pretty dumb country. But I, so I want to throw it out to you guys. Okay. If you bought a cow for $800 and then sold it for $1,000, and then you bought that same cow back for $1,100, and then sold it for $1,300, how much have you profited? Okay, sorry, I wasn't adding. I thought there was a bigger story.

$800 to $1,000, so you make $200, and then you buy back. Then you buy the same cow back for $1,100 and sell up for $1,300. $100. No, no, no, wait. Hold on. So you, you, you, you've made 200 and then you lose 100. Fuck, I don't know. Wait, no, hold on.

So then you sell it again for 1,100. No, no, no. You buy for 8, sell for 1,000. Okay. So you made 200 bucks. Then you buy the same cowback for 1100. Okay. And then you sell it for 1,300.

So you've given away 100, so you've made 100. And on the third try, you sell for 1,300. And you, so you've lost $200. No, you made $400. You made $400. Oh, because you sell it on the last one. Sorry, I just wasn't doing the numbers. Yeah, you made $400 bucks.

You made $200 each time. Dude, you should see the arguments people are in on Instagram screaming at each other in all caps because people can't wrap their head around that you made $400. Why? They're like, because you lost, when you buy the same cow back that you just sold for $1,000, you lose $100. It's like, they're not separate. They're two different things.

90% of people do not think you've made 400. Oh, wow. Well, I mean, it took me a second. You had to explain it twice. Well, and Retepp also said you've lost $6,000. No, I said you lost $200 because I went with the last one that you bought for $1,300 instead of selling it back for $1,300. He was accounting for the depreciation. Yeah.

Yeah. You're accounting for inflation? I was accounting, that's for sure. Anyway, I just was, you know, it was interesting. It's animal related, too. I like that. It's a weird place, the internet. and that you can argue with strangers over shit you know nothing about.

It's insane. And it really lets people show their true colors. I'll say this. The second you said that you dove into the comments of an Instagram post, I was like, oh, yeah, like, that's all I do. That's what Reddit is. Like, I won't even look at the post. I'll just go right to the comments to form my opinion about it.

Speaking of incredible things on the internet, Kyle, can you pull up the thing I sent you on the WhatsApp? This is kind of wait. Before you do it, do the jingle, because this is kind of newsy. It's not really in the news. we're making our own news. Is that okay? That's the break news.

All right. I'm in the business of breaking news. What's in the news? Look at this. This isn't my news. It's not even news. Is that a dog tongue? What's happening?

That is the jungle doctor, who's a great follow on Instagram, by the way. Okay. And he, I don't know whom with, has figured out that if you put an Apple Watch on a sedated lion's tongue, you can measure its heart rate while transporting it.

Wow. So what you're seeing here is real-time monitoring of the sedated lion through an Apple watch doing the fitness tracker. That's great advertisement for the Apple Watch. But talk about fucking

cool adaptive technology that I don't know who was the first person to be like, hey, let's strap an Apple Watch onto this lion's tongue. Yeah. I love this.

I think it's so great. Yeah, I mean, it's got a heart rate monitor, right? Yeah, that's it. I mean, that's all there is to it. But who's thinking of that? I wouldn't have thought of it. I've never owned an Apple Watch,

but I wouldn't have, if I was moving a sedated lion, And I wouldn't be like, let's strap my Apple Watch to its tongue and monitor its vitals. What about, I mean, like you've had to come up with ideas like this out on your adventures. Might not be in technology related, but you did the meat tree, for example. I mean, that's just as ingenious. Thank you, first of all. It's more genius than inventing an Apple Watch.

No doubt. I just like this adaptive technology thing. And it said here in the Jungle Doctors Post that they've shown that it even works on elephants when taped to their euthes. So basically anything with a heart rate if you can find a good place for the beats, right? For the heartbeats. But I just think it's so cool.

Can you strap it to your peepee? I was going to say, what if you strapped it to a muscle's penis? A muscles penis? A mussels penis? The giant, giant barnacle penis? I don't know. I don't even know if Barnacle has a heart rate.

I mean, it must. It's annoying being around someone with an Apple watch. Yeah. Very annoying. Just this? Oh, yeah. Text message. My buddy, I was just working with.

them on a shoot and we would just be in the middle of an important conversation and he would just go reading a full on text looking at a picture i could see that i'm like bro i'm not going to repeat what i just said and it's your job to remember but it's crazy i think that you like get this little i don't know how it works oh yeah but like you see people just their wrist migrating up to their it's just your phone it's just your phone on your wrist well think about how addictive we are to our phones checking notifications like you have your phone in your pocket you have your phone in your pocket and on your wrist. That's what I say.

It's even more, like, distracting because you're just like, oh. Like, you don't even have to do anything. You don't have to go on the pocket. Have you ever had one? Apple Watch, either are you guys? No, I got one for my way. Kyle, you strike me as an Apple Watch guy, yeah?

No, I bought a knockoff one off the internet. How did that treat you? I used it for a week. Off a T-mo? Because it didn't work. Yes. Is that true? Yeah.

That's hilarious. Yeah, no, never. I tried getting a watch. I bought a knock-off Rolex when I was in college. It was like 20 bucks. Yeah. City. Yep.

Thought it would be cool. Maybe girls would think I had a lot of money or something. Yeah. They didn't. Well, I didn't wear it. Why not? Because it calls attention to my feminine wrist. It really does.

It's like I can't... Here, you want one of these? I look cool in those. I couldn't do the ring. I tried the wedding ring forever. This thing does. I do the whoop fitness tracker. I thought you were doing the aura ring bullshit.

No, never. Only this... You had a ring on. You did. Never. Is the aura ring the goop thing? The Gwynetheltro thing? I don't know.

It's a ring that basically... That's an egg that you put in your bum. That's right. It's a ring fit bit. Yeah, that's what this is. It's a wrist fit bit. But that's, no, I've never done the aura ring. I can't wear rings.

I can't stand them. I cannot stand the feel of it. They definitely, they definitely do, like, whenever I'm lifting dumbbells or something, like, I'll just pinch this fat part of my finger in there. And I'm like, I gotta take it off. He's such a fitness guy now. I know, you're such a row.

Whenever I've lifted dumbbells? You know what, dude? I bought my wife this expensive-ass fucking ring and she never wears it. Yeah. That's because she wants to fuck other guys. Hey now. Sorry, she asks me.

Sorry, that was not a podcast appropriate. Well, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry I said it the way I did. Do you wear a Nuva ring as a cock ring? Where is that? A aura ring, I mean, as a guy. I don't even know the products we're talking about. Because his penis is as small as a pinky.

That's all I'm saying. Mean. This is a good start and our sponsors are going to love it. All the filthy talk. I have an idea. Yeah, let's go. I want to kick things off in a way that we rarely ever do. Okay.

I'm intrigued. I think I know what time it is. No, shut up. This early in the show? Why not, man? It better be something for a layman. You don't have Google? I'm not warmed up enough.

I thought you're nice and warm. The Battle Royale. Let's go. We haven't done one. We didn't do one last pod. No, I don't think we've done one in June. Oh, wow. Okay, well, it's time now.

So we owe one. We owe one. We also own one. There's a game you can buy. That's true. Go buy the game. I got one. I got one here.

Okay. I think, I don't know who made it up. I'm like on edge. I've never done the battle royale this early in the show. I don't know what to do. It's tough. Okay. So you're in a plane flying over the Himalaya Mountains.

I don't even know where that is. He doesn't. It's fine. Mount Everest is there. It's one of those. Is it in Indonesia? So you're in a plane flying over the Himalayas. Norway?

It's not in Norway. Just very high mountains with lots of snow and bad weather. Big glass. Lots of bad weather and snow. Suddenly really bad turbulence hits your jack and ginger. Flies up hits the ceiling of the plane. I don't like that. Might as well end it.

Crashes. Wow. Everyone's dead except you. You're fine. Okay. Weirdly. But you're stranded in the Himalayas. Yep.

And you've got a buddy with you. Okay. Construct this buddy. Oh my goodness. Got it. Using head, body, and special ability of an animal. This animal is going to help you survive, defend you from threats like the Yeti, which we know exists. Of course.

Help get you around maybe. Maybe you want to try to get out of there. Yep. Yeah. Great. Got it. Okay. I like it.

I like it. I go first. Snake draft. We'll just go like this. Okay. Sounds good. I'm going to go early. I'm going to take the body of a polar bear.

Big, cuddly, warm. It's a good pick. I can snuggle up. I can be little spoon inside of his big spoon polar bear. It's really smart. Pimilis are very cold, especially high up. I'm going to need that body warmth. Also good protector.

It's big, so everything scales to that. Yeah, I can ride them if needs to be. Soft. It's like a big blanket, not like a hippo or something. Right. No, lovely. Good at hunting in the snow. Yep.

Yeah, it's a nice pick. Thank you. Trowzers. Trousers. Yeah. Okay. That's smart. That's a good pick.

I'll admit it. What I'm going to do is I'm just, I'm just going to go for the win. Okay. That's usually how the games work. Yeah. I'm going to go with the special ability. I'm just going to do it.

Yeah, I'm going to go with the special ability of a golden eagle. Okay. That's amazing flight speed. Because once I scale that up to my body, I'm just going to sit on it. And we will be at Everest base camp in 15 minutes. You're back at flight. Yeah. It's like you never crash.

I'm flying out of there. Going for the win. Okay. I mean, you can't really compete again. against that, but, uh, I mean, you can try. Well, I mean, I should just take, I'll just take any bird. All right, but no, hold on. Uh, no, all birds are off the table. I'm going to go with, uh, the body. Gosh, darn it. That polar bear is real good. The body of Bobby Flea. The body of, Pat's mom. No, just kidding. I, damn it. I want to take bear. I can't think of another, uh,

no, you can't take a bear. Bear is off the table. Bear and Golden Eagle. You can pick any one of the other 8 trillion animals. You just kind of pick those too. I'm trying to think of a soft, large animal. No,

that style is done. You need to move on. Oh, shut up. I can take other styles. You son of a bitch. Just pick one, though. Relax.

Get air. All right, yeah, I'm going to go with the body of a gorilla then. Fuck off. What do you like about it? It's a soft,

hard body. Purry, huggable. Yeah, and like, you know, like, can pull you in.

You ever seen them with their, with their young, which is what I would be. A die in about half a second. Okay. And now you're up for one more. Oh, shit.

I've got to do another one. All right. So I'm going to have the special ability of a hagfish. So he could cover me in slime and I'll be nice and warm. That is ingenious. Does a hagfish's slime have like warming? Is it like an insulation? Oh, of course.

It's always, how do you know? You've looked into this? It's just a known thing. Get out of here. It's just slime. It is not a known thing. The size. It's in your toothpaste.

I think it might make you colder by being getting you wet. It's in your toothpaste. That's what they harvested for is toothpaste. Are you kidding? Anyways. Have you ever had toothpaste on your face? It keeps it warm. Have you?

Yeah. Spread toothpaste on your face occasionally. Listen to me. I'm talking here. Visualized this forest. We've got a gorilla-sized hagfish. So the special ability, it's coming out like the size of a gorilla. I will be covered like a cocoon of hagfish.

No, no. Wet on the outside, dry on the inside. Kyle, are you able to cut him out of this podcast or is that going to be a tough edit? I actually think that's a bizarre. It's truly a strange pick. It's good. I think out of the box, that's what I'm here for. Yeah, that's smart.

How do I find out if my toothpaste brand that I use uses hagfish secretion? Yeah, what does it say? Can you look that up quickly, Cal? Hagfish slime toothpaste? Oh, my God. All right. I mean, we should release a tooth. We should create a product that's a toothlet.

It's just pure hagfish. That's it. It's just the slime. Get Kenneth Peltro to save it, it works. Yeah, that's all it takes. Why have I never seen a hagfish-shaped toothbrush? That's a good question. All right, so I'm going to add to my incredible flying ability that's going to get me out of there. I want it to scale up because I want to get out of there quick.

Yeah. I don't like, I'm probably wearing these sneakers on the flight. Yeah, that makes sense. Those are the only shoes I've ever seen you wear. I'll be in these shorts if you want to get a peek on the flight. So I'm a big body, but I'm not going to go blue whale. Kyle fucked me last time I tried blue whale. Yeah, that's true.

He's a bad judge. I do like the idea of long fur. So I'm going to go with the body of a highland cow. Oh, nice. I was thinking of that, too, before I went polar bear, I swear. I'm just going to get lost. That's how warm and lovely that would be. Not as warm as it being.

I'm honestly just going to crawl under it on all fours and then tell it to sit. and just have it sit on me and drape me. That's what your wife says you do all the time. That's what I do. All right. All right.

Four-house. Okay, so I have the body of a polar bear. I'm going to give it the special ability of a mountain goat. What's that jumping? Very agile,

very nimble, can walk up and down steep cliff faces. See, look at that. Look at that climbing. We're crashed high in the Himalayas. I got to get out of there. It could be on a sheer cliff.

I mean, you can't beat a bird. You're right. And that's unlike you. I'm not just going to say the same thing he said. Oh, yeah, Hagfish was the exact same. No, but you're just like, I'm going to pick bird. But I didn't, did I?

You didn't. This is true. In the end, you were talked out of it. This is true. In the end, it doesn't really matter. Sorry. Licensing issues. Perfect, because I nailed it.

All right, so I got the body of a polar bear, the special ability of a mountain goat. And, you know, that's kind of all I need. So I'm just going to give it the head of Peter. Just someone to keep me entertained. Wow. Because the brain's in the head. Yeah, well, that part's less good. No, you've already picked, sir.

Yeah, I'm fucked. Also, clip this out. He's like, I don't know what to do. Help me out here. I made it to this fucking studio, didn't I? Clip that out, sent it to Forrest's wife. He picked a human for company and it wasn't his wife. No, it was Peter.

It's Peter with those long, long, luscious locks. He also sent it to Mitch. I think Mitch will be more upset. He's my work wife. Mitch is my workwife. All right. So, okay. So I, yeah, okay, I can fly.

I've got lots of warmth. Yeah. I do want to... Can I give it a human head also? Sure. Or is human taken? I think everything's on the table at this point. You know what pisses me off about you too?

If I fucking try to pick a bird after he picks it, you can't do that. A furry animal, you can't do that? Pat's like, oh, can I do this? Yeah, of course. I'm not going to. I thought you were also going to pick a human. I was letting it fly across the table.

It is, it's a direct attack on me. Okay? You know what it is? he did legs today and he's full of testosterone. There's so much T coursing through his veins. That's right. All right, no, I won't go human head then. Okay.

I'm going to be safe in case just as soon as we crash before I jump on its back and we quickly fly to safety. In case we do get attacked by a Yeti or like creature, I need to give it an imposing head, a scary head. I'm just going to pop the head of a... Roseanne bar. No, the head of a Nile crocodile on there. That's terrifying. Because a Yeti's going to come down and be like, I don't know what that is.

That's true. Nothing would. Yeah. But I think you've run into a bit of a problem there, mate. I'm already at the hotel, but sure. No, well, I mean, you know, this crocodile head is going to be pretty heavy, number one. It's not very soft. Scales.

But I will say this. That's a lot of teeth. Are you going to dodge the teeth in those hard spikes on its head? It's my buddy. Yeah, it's his pet. I'm not just staying by accident. You could accidentally be punctured. me on the back of a, of a, the cow.

Like the never-ending story. It has tons of fur. I'm just going to grab the fur as my reins. That's far. And we're going to fly like 120 miles an hour. So, Peter, you got a gorilla that can shoot hagfish slime out. It's a noose. What kind of head you're going to give it?

Well, human, of course. No, I'm just kidding. That's fine. It's on the table now. Nah, I'm going to go, I'm going to give it the head of like golden retriever. I mean, why? Kiss it. You can kiss it.

Yeah, I could pet it. Like, while, while I'm covered in hagfish oil. I can nuzzle. So you guys are going to like this. Okay. I have a new way of starting fights with my wife. I'm very interested. Oh, yeah.

You're not going to believe it. Rocket money, our sponsor. Yeah. Yeah. So I get a notification when my wife goes to Costco because that's a large expense. Oh, yeah. It's like 400. So I'll be sitting in my office and I'll get a ping email for Rocket Money.

You have a new large expense. $480 at Costco. And then for the 40 minutes it takes for her from checkout to get home. I'm just seething. What are you doing? For her to get home. So I can attack her about the food that she's lovingly bought for me and my family. And to cook for you as well, yes.

Of course. Yeah. I got to say, though, man, rocket money helps you stay on top of your finances. I get those emails and I also get in fights with my wife. Good, good. She bought $300 in gifts for the teachers for my preschooler and my infant. And I'm like, we're 300 over budget. What are you doing?

Yeah, you're like, we didn't budget for a bunch of satchels full. of potpoury. That's it. $300 worth of things for a preschool teacher. Everyone, including my wife, everyone I know. Why are there so many teachers? I'm sorry. Rocket money is fantastic, though. No, it's, it's great. My wife and I got a bunch of our bills reduced just because we asked Rocket Money to do it. I love that. I'm like, how does this work? I don't know. They just cancel it to. They cancel your subscriptions. Yeah, but they're just like, yeah, this is 15 a month cheaper now. I'm like, well, cool, let me go blow that on a really nice bottle of wine that I want to drink in the garage alone.

Yeah, it's nice. Rocket Money is awesome. It's a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. That's important.

That's a good thing to do. It's really good. Rocket money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million and canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when you use all the app's features. Also known as one trip to Costco for my wife.

Yeah, exactly. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com slash wild times. That's rocketmoney.com slash wild times. One more time, just for safety, rocketmoney.com slash wild times. Pat, that's a great looking extra small shirt you got on there. It's a medium. Yeah, making you look very muscular, quite handsome. Brings the green out in your eyes. I'll tell you what. It's a little secret. We're going to let the brosener's in on right now. What is it? If you're a skinny fact,

guy like me. I'm going to introduce you to Mack Weldon's silver long sleeve t-shirt. I've got like six of them. That just I look like I work out way more than I do when I wear them. They're fantastic. It's a good, it's a good habit. I'm a big fan of their undies too. It's so hot out. I sleep in their underwear. Dude, the internet on me is it must have come from outer space. I got a monroe. technology right now baby oh feels good get timeless looks with modern comfort from mac weldon go to mac weldin dot com and get 20% off your first order with promo code wild that's m a c w-eld-d-on dot com and use promo code wild because you get 20% off we love you first if you had to do a shirtless shoot just in in undies would you wear your air and briefs a thousand percent yes and i

I'd put a peacock on my shoulder because their slogan is peacocking is for the birds. Yeah. The McWeld and undies. That's so hot. How do we make this happen? Can we do this in the studio? Not until I get on a Zempec. Do you, let me ask a real personal question here. Do you ever pull the lips of your dog back and kiss them on the teeth? No, it's disgusting.

No, I would never do that either. I'm just asking for a friend. My dog's teeth are heinous. Your dog's teeth are like the size of... But he's got these big lips that they're so cute and I pull them back and I kiss them on the teeth. I don't think there's anything wrong. No, no, it's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. I've heard of people doing this. I would never.

Have you ever expressed your dog's anal glands yourself? No, I've never had to, thank God. I've done it twice. My dog two different times has had that nasty fish stink. Yeah. I've heard, I've read about it. I don't want to experience it. So for people that don't have dogs, this is my first dog.

Yeah. And so I didn't know this was a thing. Dogs have these two anal glands that are like these two little grapes. It's grossing me out thinking about it. Right next to their anus. Yeah. You'll lick your dog's teeth. Yeah, true.

And they express themselves naturally when they shit. But, and when you take them to the groomer, they just do it for you. Oh, do they squeeze them. The groomer always does it. I didn't know that. My dog goes a groomer like once every three months, so that's probably why we've never had to. Yeah. And ours does too, but if they don't shit, like if they're like not shitting regularly enough,

the glands will, you'll start smelling it's revolting. I've heard that. Like fish. Yeah. And it's terrible. And so I was just like, I have to watch a YouTube video. So I did it once like a year ago and then I did it last week. And it's not fun.

No, it doesn't sound fun. Gloves and a pair of workman's glasses. You don't want that shooting in an eyeball. I'd have to kill myself. You would have to kill yourself. Hang on now. So kind of just pretty easy. And this oil comes out.

Okay, I was going to ask. You look at it and you almost puke from the smell if you breathe. oils like on your hands or on your fingers? No, it's on a huge wad of paper towels. Oh, so you go in there squeeze with one hand and you have a paper towel? I'm not going to get super graphic about it, but it's not that hard. I want to know how much oil comes out. Let's move on.

Let's move on. This is revolting. I've got to know about this oil. A tenth of a teaspoon total. All right. I think I'm going to switch my pick to the anal glands of a... For a head? That's the head.

The special ability of a dog. Was that super? gross? See, I don't like gross stuff, but that... To me, I don't know. Like, poop and butt stuff for me is just a no-go. But you're licking your dog's teeth left and right. That's fine. Your main method of cleaning them is your tongue. Like that. At least it's not hagfish oil. Okay. All right. Well, that was something. Yeah, I won. Yeah. You did. And you know what you won? You did. You know what you won? What did I win? Five thousand dollars. Oh, that is a ton of money. No, you didn't. You could do a lot with that. But people can win five dollars. I want a hagfish. Kyle's not eligible, but Kyle, if you just,

If the Wild Times Venmoed you $5,000, what would you do with it? I'd probably buy a bunch of dogs. He's out of his mind. A bunch of dogs? You could go to Iceland. You could go visit the northern fjords of Iceland. You're going to buy a bunch of dogs? That's true.

That would inhibit me from going anywhere. What the fuck a bunch of dogs? All I'm saying is we talk about travel, vacations, wildlife adventures, all this stuff. We are going to pay for you to. do it. Yeah. Anything you want. Giving away $5,000.

You got six days left. June 30th, the contest, the Leatherman contest closes. Yeah. Look at this one. Romal code expires. Remember this guy? The Extincter Alive rap gift. That's right.

What's that? What is that? You guys got a personalized leatherman? We sure did. Five years ago, Forrest gave the wrap gift to the whole crew as a personalized leatherman. Oh my God. That's so cool. Because we all use them.

Everyone. They're the best. Yeah. Loves to have at least. 10 of them. How do you enter in this competition to win $5,000 to do your dream adventure, Pat? You just make a video and post it to Instagram and tag at the Wild Times Pod. That's right. At Wild Times Pod and at Leatherman Tools. That's all you have to do. But Peter, there's only one winner. Two winners, $2,500 cash prizes.

That's right. Two literally just cash in your account. Take a trip. Just trying to set it up. It's crazy not to enter. There's no real rules here, right? Right. So Father's Day already happened. We talked about how Leatherman is a great. Father's Day gift. If you miss that boat, you know, buy one for yourself. Get 10% off, right? So until the 30th, wild times 10, enter that promo code at checkout.

You'll save 10%. Make a video about why you bought the Leatherman. Just talking about it. Make a funny joke about a friend that wouldn't even know how to use their Leatherman if they got one. What else for us? What else could they do? I'm going to give you a little joy. Yeah. Save yourself by four at once.

Put one in your car, one in your tackle box, one in your house, and one to carry. And that's what you do. You have four of them and they're everywhere and you never need anything else. Anytime you're around somebody, they're like, oh, man, I really wish I had a pair of scissors. You're like, guess what? I do. Bam, one of your tools, pair of scissors. It's nice. Peter, you're known as the dad at the park who always has a leatherman on them. Yeah, I feel like you've really embraced that. Yeah, of course. I wear it on my belt.

My short shorts. Yeah, the other dads, they look up to me now. They're like, hey, my kid's caught in this swing chain. Can you come in? That's happened a lot, huh? That's like a weekly thing for you. You have your letters and invisible. So, yes, it's really easy to enter.

You make the video. You post it. You got six days. Whichever video is the funniest just makes us laugh the most. Yep. Two winners. $2,500. That's right.

$2,500 to the, the most original. Easy. The world is your oyster. You can win both. And if it's good enough, and it's the funniest and the most original, someone's winning five grand.

And we'll probably hire you to be on the show in some capacity possibly. So don't, don't be crazy. Enter if you like cash. Yep. Go to Wild Times dot club slash Leatherman for all the details. Competition end soon.

Get them in, get the videos in. Some of them are great to date. We need some more. That's right. Yeah. Do it, baby. No brainer. Kyle had a good idea.

Uh-oh. And Forrest. It's going to be a little test for you. For me? No, more for Forrest, but... Okay, good. This goes well every time for me. All right.

What is it? Here we go. Ready? Sure. I'm going to see how much you know about each of these. Okay. This is fascinating. Okay.

Because what's your, like, main area of expertise? Like, if you had to pick one segment... Perpetology. Perps, right? Yeah. Are snakes, reptiles? Absolutely. Let's see how much you know about snakes.

Uh-oh. Here we go. These are the top 10 snakes. So yeah, we're going to test your knowledge of snakes a little bit. Let's go. He gets very angry when he's not as smart as he thinks. So how much you know. Most of every day.

It's a list. It's a top 10 list. People are going to be amazed. The top 10 biggest snakes to ever live on planet Earth. Okay. And at the end, I'm going to have some breaking news. Okay. Thank God I didn't have to count down from 10.

I wouldn't have got him. I would have got number one and then lost it. I'm going to name the snake. You say how long. It's by length. Okay. How long you think it is and then just tell us what you know about it. And this is the largest individual ever recorded.

Yeah, the 10 biggest snakes ever to live. Right. But when you say the species, I have to guess the largest one. Correct. It's the biggest one that's been found. Got it. Number 10. Is Peter going first?

No, I can't guess. Well, I don't know 10 snakes. No, I'm going to say the name of the snake. Oh, okay. Just say how long you think the biggest. Where have you been for the setup of this game? I don't understand things correctly. The king cobra.

Okay. So I'm surprised that this is, that these get this big. They're very large snakes. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna,

I'm gonna, five foot eight. Five foot eight. That's, I mean, I'm five ten, Pally. To be honest,

coming in at number 10, that's not a terrible guess. It's really not. I was like, is it too big or too small? No, it's not a terrible guess. So King Cobra's,

I think it's important to give a little background here. Is that okay? I've seen them in the wild. I have, yeah. I saw Yucles dive into a bush and grab one, too when we were in Myanmar. They're the largest species of cobra.

They eat other snakes. Basically any snake with the word king in it eats other snakes. That's where the title king comes from. King snake, King Cobra. Was the cobra you threw at me in Vietnam, a king cobra? No, that wasn't.

Shit, sorry. I love that story. But King Cobra's do get big. They get really big. I'm going to say the largest one ever recorded was 14 feet. Oh, so I was too short. 18.7.

Holy shit. That's huge. Think about how long that is. That's almost two basketball lines. Kyle, Do me a favor and quickly Google like King Cobra length. I get that the largest one ever was 18, but I like just. You're trying to find an average one?

This is in the Guinness Book of World Records. This was at the London Zoo in the 1930s. This was a zoo, a zoo kept snake. Yeah, this wasn't like, you know, dilly on YouTube. Yeah, he measured an 18 foot snake. Yeah, yeah. You see, so your average size is 10 to 12. I thought 14 was a pretty safe guess being two feet larger than that.

Yeah, sure. Yeah. 18 is crazy, dude. That's a highly venomous, crazy aggressive snake. The rest of these, I'm fairly certain, are going to be pythons and boas. Yeah, sure. Which are still scary. Don't get me wrong.

And an 18-foot anacondas gnarly. But an 18-foot king cobra is like another level of gnarly. It's crazy. The venom. Yeah. You want to hear a fun fact? Sure. This snake at the London Zoo in the 1930s, when the outbreak of World War II started, they killed the snake

because they were worried that the zoo might get bombed and that it would escape into the city. Wow. I mean, I kind of get it. Can you imagine if there was an 18-foot cobra running around your city? Are they venomous? Highly.

I would have taken the snake and dropped it as a bomb onto Germany, dude. Are you kidding me? A soft pillow. Why would they kill it? Just parachute it down. I agree with you on that. That part sucks.

But that is crazy. That's in a crazy story. Wow. Number nine, Burmese Python. Or as form... Forest would say Burmese Python. Python. I've actually seen one of these

and I know that it was my size. So like six feet. I'm going to go ahead and say 24 feet. Okay. If the king was at 187, that's huge. Berm, I'm going to say 22. LinkedIn is pretty amazing at helping you grow your small business. We cannot make your email response time faster.

We can help you sell market and hire in one place. We cannot help you find space for your three desk drinks. Why do you have three? And while we can't help you find the perfect volume for your presentation video, LinkedIn can help you find the perfect audience for your business. Grow your small business on LinkedIn. Learn more at LinkedIn.com slash small business. Feels like every product claims real protein these days. But real doesn't start on a label.

It starts at the source. Like real California milk from California farm families. It's real dairy delivering high quality, complete protein, with all nine essential amino acids to help build muscle, give you energy, and keep you satisfied longer. So keep it real. Look for the seal. Real California milk.

18.8. Okay. I'm a little disappointed here. What do you know about it? The Burmese Python? I had one named Willie. Willie Eat Me. True story. Yeah, found him in a creek. He'd eaten a lady's cat.

Wow. And I built him a cage and used to feed him pigeons that I'd sniper off of the telephone wire. Was this back in Africa? No, it was in Cayucas, California. So it was like an escaped one? Yeah, it was somebody's escaped pet. But yeah, you know, berms are a very big snake. They're one of the heaviest snakes in the world. As we know, they're running a muck in Florida. That's where the largest one ever measured was in Florida. Oh, no kidding. Oh, damn, that recently. Well, and to be honest, yeah, I mean, I thought they got bigger than 18 feet. I thought the biggest one would have been in the 20s.

But I think so, I mean, this just happened. There's potential for them to find one with them running rampant all over Florida. There could be a 25 foot one tomorrow. Well, especially because, well, I don't think they'll ever be a 25, but especially because in Florida, as we've talked about many times, they have no natural predators and basically unlimited prey. Yeah. And like all reptile snakes basically grow until they died. They are decimating their own prey source, though, quickly.

Oh, yeah, 80% reduction in mammalian populations in the everglies. Wild. Yeah. Wild stuff. What were those new, were you killing nutria rats in Louisiana? Those invasive rats? I went on a nutria hunt. Sorry.

But yeah, but like, why don't they just put the pythons out in Louisiana to take out those That is, that mentality right there is why everything's broken? That's what you have. What are you the wildlife commissioner of New Zealand? Yeah. That's right. Put some cane toes out there, baby. Seriously. That's brutal. Fun fact, they can, pythons can follow their noses back to their home.

Home nest over 20 miles. Just follow your nose. Just follow your nose. Number eight. Cuban boa. What do we know about this? How big is it? Forest. I 100% would have said the berms got bigger than Cuban boas. Cuban boas obviously a boa species endemic to Cuba. They are a large snake. I'm going to go 19 feet.

I'm going to go 19.2. Okay. 19.6. Oh, no, my guess. You got it. Tell me about the Cuban boa. It's the largest snake in the Caribbean. There's a lot of ground boa species in throughout the Caribbean. There's a Bahamian boa, Cuban boa, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, throughout the Caribbean.

But the Cuban is by far the largest. One of the reasons being Cuba is one of the largest islands in the Caribbean, right? So small islands, insular dwarfism, large island, bigger snakes. they also have what are those crazy possum things in Cuba that they eat a lot I'm blanking on the name now

the guys eat them they actually eat them in Cuba a lush food source for the snake Kyle you know what I'm talking about figured it out for me did you say ground boa as opposed to sky

I was gonna say Cuban selenodon I thought I was gonna get left no no that's what I was thinking of the selenodon so yeah they have a lot you miss 100% of the shots you don't take true they have these mammals

to eat so it allows them to get larger because the selenadon's there whereas on most of those other Caribbean islands there are mammals like that. Right? So they're eating much smaller things,

rats and birds and things like that. Also the only known snakes to hunt in packs. That's shenanigans. Okay. I thought you might say that. That's a fascinating fact, though. It's bullshit. Because what happens is,

I can explain it a little bit. So these snakes will hang out by cave entrances to get all the bats that are flying in and out. And you'll have five or ten Cuban boas hanging out by the entrance of a cave where the bats are coming in and out. They're not hunting in packs. They're not working together.

They're all there. They're all there to eat the same thing. And when the bat sees there's four bows over here, they fly over there to where there's one bow. And they're like, oh, look at that. They're hunting in packs. No, they're not. They're just all there eating the same thing. So it's like, you're going to a buffet and people said, oh, they're hunting in a pack.

Exactly. That's exactly what it is. No, if you go to the Venetian and go to the fucking buffet line and you see people lined up at the crab legs. Yes. They're not hunting in a cat. Exactly. That's an amazing take. Deep blue.

That's the smartest thing you've ever said. Thank you. I did want to ask, now the stupidest thing I might ever say, you said a ground boa. Is that what you said? Yeah. Are there different boas that are not ground boas?

Yeah, most of both. Oh, trees. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I was just curious. Yep. I thought you meant like sky or moon boa.

A moon boa. Yep. It's just cool. Crushed a magic mind. I'm already flying. You feel and just like, he's got a glint in his eyes. No, you know what it is?

I desperately want to flip this table. It's like when Popeye eats the spinach. It's Adderal. It's Adderal. It's organic Adderall. There's a really fucking good chance I'm flipping it. I'd have to drink one that's on the table. I don't get fucked up here.

All right. Number seven, Indian Python. Very mean, the Indian rock python. I would guess, uh, okay, our Cuban Bo is 19.6. They're all going to start getting close now. I'm going to say 20.1. 20.3. I'm going to stick in the 19s and say 19.9.

21 feet. Now we've crossed two basketball hoops now. That's true. Now we're getting to the bigons. Why do you say they're mean? Something about African and Indian rock pythons, they're related. Terrible temperaments. They just have the worst disposition.

Maybe for this clip I'll give Kyle a video of me catching an Indian rock python in Sri Lanka. Okay. Awful. Awful. Like I walk up to it on the side of the road to, Like, we weren't there. We were there on a Shark Week shoot, but I literally saw this big, like,

probably 11-foot python on the side of the road, and I was like, oh, I should save it so it doesn't go into the road and get run over. Yeah. As I'm walking up to it on the road, not even, like, stalking it or anything, it lunges and tries to bite me. Wow.

They just have this crazy disposition of, like, just so defensive and aggressive. Were you caught off guard because you were so surprised by how aggressive it was? Absolutely. You even sort of see me, like, shake and stop, and I'm like, whoa, what the fuck? And then instead of my typical, like, run in and grab it,

I pulled my hat off and shoved my hat in its face. I'm surprised you didn't take Mitch's pants. Very professional. Very technical way of catching a snake. Yeah, well, I let it bite my hat so I could grab it by the neck because it was so aggressive. I couldn't get around it. Technical. All right.

We've heard of this one number six, the reticulated Python. Big. I would have guessed retic was number two, actually. Or no. Yeah, I would have a little surprise for you coming up. There must be. I can't believe this is at six. Okay, so the retic, if that one's at 21.

Keep in mind, these are to Everlitz. What does that mean? I see what he's doing. It could be an extinct species. It means there's ancient snakes coming. It means Titanaboa is sitting in one and I don't know what the other four are. Okay, so the retic is 26 feet. Big jump.

Big jump from the Indian rock python. That's ludicrous, sir. I'm going with 23 and a half feet. All right. Ridicrous. 32! Sorry. That's ridiculous.

That's good pod. I couldn't believe it. That blew my mind. 9.8. Yeah. So look, it's widely recognized the longest snake on earth today. Okay, so this is the last

extant one. Right? Yeah, on average, they're 20 to 25 feet long. Even that seems pretty fast. That's huge. I would say average, they're 20 feet long. But anyway, that's fine. Can I see a picture of this?

It was measured in 1912, the largest reticulated Python. That's like one of those black and white pictures I imagine where there's like 30 people holding a snake. Yeah, and everybody. was five foot one back then, so it makes it look ten times larger. What can I say?

Rittics are Riddick. Riticks are redick. That's right. Southeast Asia, eat a lot of mammals, a lot of bats. They're the pigs that are, sorry, they're the snakes that you see eating pigs and things, like killing Barbarusa and eating deer. And often those pictures you see where the snake with a giant lump in it, that's usually a retic. Like a pig shaped lump.

Yeah, or you see like the whole body. In fact, I don't know if this is pawed. approved or not, but you can find pictures of, especially with the IAida tribe, which is in the Philippines, of people being eaten by the antics. Oh, that's that snake we talked about before, where it snatches children. Yeah. Yeah. That's the retic. Yeah. Also pretty terrible temperament, like pretty bad disposition. But yeah, this is. Have you ever handled one? Oh, many. Yeah, many, many, yeah. Now, how did you get that one's attention with the, did you? Well, I've never seen one of these gigantic ones. I went looking for one. I think I told this story when I went to, there's the Ieda tribe,

the next one over. That's the one where they eat people. They come out of the trees and into the huts and grab people. Oh, my God. Agata, not Aida. Sorry, I had it wrong. But yeah, quick, quick sidebar, quick story. When I went to Komodo, I got

well fucked up with a fire car,'ll burn, blah, blah, blah, when saw the Komoto Dragons? And on our last night, the guy we were staying with his homestay. This was long before they had all the cool hotels and stuff. We were staying in this guy's house on the floor in Bintang Flores. And the guy goes, there's a cave with a giant snake. I was like, now you fucking

tell me? And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a cave with a giant snake. So the day of our flight, our flight was at like 1.30 in the afternoon. I dragged Jess. We were just boyfriend, girlfriend at the time. It's like, we're getting up at 4 a.m. and we're hiking into the jungle to find this cave to look for this giant snake. And she's like, all right, whatever. Wow, she was happy

to go. That's crazy. Day of the flight, too. So we get up at like 3.30 in the morning, drive an hour, then get on a moped, go a moped hour into the jungle, and then hike about an hour, so it took forever. And then we get to this cave, and he's like, the snake's in there. And I was like, holy shit, and it's a huge cave, like bigger than this building, right?

Yeah. And I start walking in and I walk in, in, in, in up my legs. It's guano. Oh, my God. Nipples deep in bat shit. Did she just huge flying? Oh, Jess was like, yeah, you're in there on your own. She came to where it got ankle deep in that shit and was like, this isn't for me.

And I was like, I got to see this 20 plus foot snake. You've already gone this far. Yeah. So I'm nipples deep in bat shit. And I'll keep the story brief. but basically we're cruising in. I just have this tiny little light and I see this thing along the top wall of the cave.

I'm holy shit, there it is. And as I look closer, it's the skin. And I couldn't find the snake, but it's up on this steep side of the cave. And I try and climb up there and I'm so covered in bat shit. It's like being covered in baby oil. Right.

And I'm like slipping down. I ended up literally head under in bat shit. Oh, God. But I get up to the snake skin. And granted, the skin stretch when they take them off and they dry out and stuff. The skin was well over 30 feet. Wow.

Never saw the snake. just saw the skin, but it was... That snake could have fucking eaten you in there, bro. Oh, the guy we were with, the little Indonesian guy was like, he's gonna die. Like when I was walking out, I was like, I'll catch it, I'll be fine, it would have killed me for sure. I mean, dude, like you're in the guano,

you can't get around. I could, I was like walking like this. You're fucking lucky, dude. Yeah. Number five. Are we still talking about this? Yeah, because I want to get to the big surprise. Yeah, yeah, sure.

Green Anaconda. Okay, well, if this guy was clocked in at 32, because they're recognized as the longest snake. in the world, there are ticks. Then this individual green anaconda came in at 34. Yeah, I mean, it's tough because I'll go 33.5. Okay? 33, you got it.

Thank you, baby. Just a foot longer. Two inches longer. Or no, what was it, 33.6? 32.8 to 33. Yeah, two inches longer. Or 0.2 inches longer. Now, these are big heavy snakes, up to 550 pounds.

So, yeah, in 2016, man, the 3,000. 33 footer was found in. Oh, this is a bullshit thing. This list is losing credibility. Wait, why? What? It's not a 33 foot snake. Everybody's seen this video. It's a big snake. It's like a 24, but it's not a 33 foot snake. So that you're saying they faked the measurement? No, this is all real. It's just an estimate. Oh, really? Why didn't they measure it when they got it right there? I don't know. Well, they first of all, they killed it at a site where they were cutting down trees illegally. So the whole thing is pretty. Right. Yeah, that is a massive snake. It is. I think it's exactly. 33 feet. I'll take it. That's okay. Yeah. Anacondas are awesome. One of my favorite animals.

What about them? Why do you love them? I mean, for probably 20 years, the number one thing on my bucket list was to go down to the pontonol and specifically to Benito Brazil and dive in the clear water with them. And I got to do it for that mysterious creature show. And it was incredible. We caught a 21 footer, which is huge. Like a 33 is insane. Are they dangerous? Oh, yeah. So you're swimming with them. Yeah, Jess and I caught a 21-footer on scuba. It was wild. How did you catch it in the water? I mean, Kyle could pull up a video if you like, but it was a whole thing. I missed the head and then the snake went in and I couldn't hold on to. I was like this, like all my strength, me and Mitch and three other guys. Wow. Trying to hold it and couldn't hold it. And then it slid into the water and then I'm like, give me my scuba gear. Put on all my scuba gear, dove into the river.

Couldn't fucking find it. Then all of a sudden it was slithering under me. Then I was trying to chase it like corral it. This is me missing it right here. You can see the size of its. body there for a half second and I miss it here. So there it goes into the water. Yeah, yeah. And so I'm like, help, help. Everybody grabbed the snake, but it's way too strong. Six people couldn't hold this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we lose it. And then I like scream for my scuba gear, end up in the water, chasing it around. Finally, it's just mad panic. Like there's me trying to hold it. Yeah. Mitch is holding it well, holding the camera. I know. Whoever that blonde guy is is just I've never seen panic on someone's face. Yeah, that's Jake you, Johnny, the regular guys. But that snake is as big as my thigh, by the way. It's as girthy as my thigh. Much, much bigger. Go, go forward, Kyle,

to where, yeah, you'll see me in the water with it. There it is. Just one giant muscle. So you quickly got the gear on? Yeah, so I ripped the scuba gear on and we find it, find it underwater. I'm trying to get a measurement because that's what it was all about. So this is a piece of string. Not accurate. And I'm like, this is bullshit. Like, we've got to catch this snake somehow. Oh my God. And so I stayed with it for about 40 minutes until it had to come up for a breath. Yeah. And had it come up for a breath anywhere but where. it did, we never would have got it. So you see here, I'm ripping the gear off because I'm like, it's going to come up. There's Jess right there. I'm like, it's going to come up. It's going to come up.

If it had come up anywhere near those sticks and bramble, we never could have got it because one coil you can't do it. But for what, like right there, like right there. Like right there, we never, ever would have got it. Right. And I'm like watching it this whole time. But by some miracle, it came up on the far side. You'll see it here. It comes up right there. And there's no sticks for its body to coil around. And I just launch at it and grab it. And then yeah, it's this big wrestle. and sure enough we got it. Let's see them after they caught it here. Wow.

The catch is pretty hectic. So there we are trying to fight it. That's a big head, man. That's a big snake. That thing is huge. It's the size of like my dog's head. Yeah, it's a big snake. You got two guys holding just the head.

Everybody's like, drop all the cameras. And Mitch is like, I'm not dropping. That's Johnny holding the head? That's Johnny on the head, yeah. Why don't you just have Johnny pressed one of his knees into it? I should have. That would have killed it immediately. What's up with his knees again?

He's got the sharpest knees of anyone. Johnny's sharp knees. Johnny Sharp knees, yeah. But yeah, you'll see us somewhere here we spread it out for the measurement. So did the snake get exhausted? Yes. Oh, you wrapped the head up. Yeah, so I literally pulled a sock off and wrapped the head up.

How big was this baby? 19.6 or 19.8? I can't remember. It's big snake. You'll see, look at the drone shot. Holy crap, dude. That thing is enormous. Somewhere before there, Kyle, you see it fully stretched out, but it doesn't really matter. But yeah, that was a big dream for me to accomplish. How do they breathe underwater?

Do they have just, like, modified lungs or do they have gills? Neither. They breathe there. They just come up. They just, they can hold their breath for like 40 minutes though. So is that like, like, no, a whale has gills, right? No. No. So they breathe like a whale? No. Okay, never mind. Oh, shut up. Both whales and anacondas and many other animals breathe air and they need to come up every 30 to 40 minutes. Well, different. They can just hold their breath that long. Correct. Gotcha. So I stayed with the snake for 40-ish minutes while it was underwater waiting for it to come up for air. And it was, I mean, you don't see it. You can't tell in that little video clip. We probably covered two miles following the snake.

Because it was cruising down river. And I was just kicking my ass off the whole time. Yeah. They swim fast. Yeah. Dude, so as far as swimming, and maybe I'm an idiot. How does the snake, the snake is able to swim just because of the way it positions its body? Yeah.

It's just because it goes. Same as it rolls. Yeah. Except much faster than we can swim. Yeah, that's just wild to me. I guess it's more like a fish than we. How is their stamina? Like all reptiles, they have incredible bursts of strength and speed and then crash and then need to recharge.

So like you see a lizard, right? They like bolt across your yard and then they stop. That's them out. And lizards in specific can't breathe while they run. So they have to bolt and then stop and recharge and then bolt and stop and recharge. A lot of reptiles are like that. All right. Now we're into, but we can go through these fast.

Number four. Gigantifus Garstini Where to get its name I know nothing about this It's obviously an extinct species Of giant snake Can we see a pick cow This could be

I mean this could be Probably an artist's rendering This could be three feet bigger Or this could be 300 feet bigger Yeah that is so true Go to the taxidermied one I'm gonna go Not taxidermy but the second

Yeah I'm gonna say based on that That looks huge I'm gonna say 39 feet Ooh I'm going bigger I'm going 49 feet. Okay. All right.

So it's around 34 feet. Lived 40 million years ago. 40 million to 23 million. Covered in Egypt. Wow. 1901. Not big enough to survive those days. You got to be bigger.

You got the megalodon in the water with you. You got everything else. It says it used to eat prey as large as early elephant ancestors, which were about the size of a tapir, but still. Imagine a snake eating an elephant. That's pretty wild. Go to the next one. boy. Paleofeus Colossus.

That's a muscle. All right. All right. I'm going to guess this guy. Whoa, this was a giant sea snake. Holy shit, that's cool. That's way cooler than just another big python. Look that color on it.

It's just an artist rendering of a modern scuba diver with this ancient snake. I've never even heard of this. About to be swallowed by this ancient snake. Okay, well, based on the little bad artist renderings, I'm going to say it was 44 feet long. I'm going 49 again. F it.

39. Damn. It's a sea serpent. It was over parts of North America 100 million years ago. There's a 39-foot skeleton, fossilized skeleton in the Sahara. Wow.

That's crazy. I always say that Mosasaur is my favorite extinct marine reptile because if I say dinosaur, I get prosecuted. You're done. Yeah.

This is my new favorite one. Pellophis colossus? Yeah, you've got to say it. What is it? Palaphas Colossus Paleophis Paleophis Pelophis

The tables have turned The tables have turned Kyle Oh how the turned have tables Here's where things are going to get wild forest Oh okay Number two

That's confusing Titanaboa There's something going on here Peter Because did you hear me at the beginning of this I was like well I know what number one is It's Titanaboa That's right This would make Rogan's head explode

Yeah this is interesting So Titanaboa was I think around 60 feet 55 feet That's big see I'm sticking with 49 43 Okay I was off 43 but still

10 feet longer than the longest Modern's oh yeah it's ridiculous Giant that's so big And again I always say this with reptiles When we're explaining it The difference in like one to two feet When it comes to reptile

Can be hundreds to thousands of pounds Right yeah The difference between a 12 foot crocodile And a 15 foot crocodile Is like a thousand plus pounds Oh man We're talking about a 2,500 pound snake Yeah

It's utterly insane And a cond of, you know, we're talking 500 pounds. Right. No, it's literally bonf. 5,500 pounds. Five times. Five times that. You couldn't even fit it in this studio.

No. Crazy. Going back and forth, you couldn't. Yeah. I think this is cool because this was only discovered in the early 2000s, right? Yeah, I remember that. I remember when it came out. It was like a big thing.

So it was found in Columbia. Yep. A diet of crocodiles and riverfish. Pretty fucking crazy. And still, it's one of those things. I don't believe this, but, you know, the whole legends of anacondas that are 45 feet long and everything. And everybody's like, wow, there's living remnant Titano boa. I don't believe that.

But people do believe it. So, but you thought this was going to be number one? Absolutely. I was convinced. But it's not. So only, it's the only, yeah. Don't do it yet. Same one.

Any idea for the number one? No, I thought Titanaboa was by far the largest snake in history. I'm very confused where this is going. Well, everyone thought that. If just before you scroll down, if it's a picture or. reference of Patrick's penis, I'm walking off the set. I swear to God. He's like, this is the biggest snake that ever exists.

I'm gone. I'm out of here. That's an Edwin joke. That's a parody. All right. Number one. What? The Suu Kyi Indicus. The Suki Indicus. Never heard of it? I know nothing. I know nothing. I'm completely stumped.

50 feet. What? Oh, a new. This is a new discovered last month. Oh, wow. In India, in a mine, Vasuki Indicus would have been six and a half feet longer than a Titaniboa. Wow. I like this name Vasuki, which is after the mythical king of serpents in Hinduism.

Yeah. That's very, very cool. 47 million years ago, it lived. Had a broad cylindrical body, lived on land, likely an ambush predator. Dude. But significantly bigger. I mean, this thing was eating dinosaurs, right? Can you pull up a rendering of this thing for me, please, Kyle?

Vasuki Indicus. Oh, man. No, the whole, whoever gave it a cobra heads a little. No, no, that was Vesuki. Yeah. The serpent god, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very cool.

Go to the one with the human in it, Kyle. Oh, my God. Imagine if these things were roaming around. No, no, no, no. The one that was a rendering with a human size. Do you think we could be the apex predator if these guys were roaming around still with our tools and guns? Well, yes. Yes.

Yeah. Technology trumps and brainpower trumps everything. What if we didn't have bombs or, or, Explosives. We don't need it. Just shoot it with a gun. Okay, no guns either. Just bowels.

No, we'd be fucked. Okay. But that's kind of cool. Thank God for guns. Just discovered a new species in a mine. It's amazing. I had no idea. I'd never heard of it.

It's the first time I'm hearing of it. Isn't it sad? Like, that doesn't make news anymore, but I can tell you what the Kardashians had for breakfast. Yeah. It's awful. I mean, two of the highest ranking officials in the U.S. government came out to talk about aliens,

and that doesn't make news either. So I feel you. No, you're right, right? Like you would think this would be massive news. Yeah, I would think so. It's incredible. Yeah, I mean, but, okay, so what makes the Taitopinopinopolis your favorite snake dinosaur? Kyle, can you translate whatever he just said? He asked why you like the Titanoboa. Gotcha, thank you.

He speaks Peter. Titanopolis. He speaks four beer post-workout, Peter. Until Vesuki came along, I love Titanaboa because it was the idea that in rivers and wetlands of South America, was at one point in time a 40 plus foot anaconda, which, you know, people talk about that today, but it's not realistic. Like the Titanic, if you maybe call, yeah, there's a Titanic Boa modeling, right? It's a water, a water snake, though.

They have to be. I think that makes it extra cool. They have to be, all of them because. Well, they're saying Vasuki was a lands snake. Oh, really? Is that what they said? Yeah. Wow.

By the way, the size of a T-Rex. The Titanic Boa was the size of a T-Rex. And this guy's bigger. Bigger than a T-Rex. Yeah, I love that. Why is there not a Jurassic park with these snakes in it and not the dinosaurs? I would watch that. Isn't it interesting?

I see this with my son. And I think it happens. It doesn't matter who you are. I think it has to be a guy. I don't think it's a girl thing. Bigger is better. Absolutely. It doesn't matter what it is.

You're like, that's the biggest. That's the coolest. Me and Kyle were just talking about how visual males are. Like, everything with us is like you have to see it to understand it. and you see something big, you're like, like, that is the thing. Right. That's the king. Literally, Titanibo was my favorite snake until 45 seconds ago.

Now it's the Suki. Exactly. Just because it's six feet longer. No other reason. Well, it's the, it's like the first page. I'm butchering this, but it's close to the quote, but it's like the first page of William Goldman's like famous book about screenwriting, which is like if you are planning to open your movie with the protection,

antagonist being chased by a spaceship. Uh-huh. Just make it a thousand spaceships that are chasing. Just make it bigger. Yeah. Right. And then people will walk. Yeah, exactly. Makes sense.

It does make sense. And I think it alludes back to the fact that all we're interested in is like Kim Kardashian in her big butt rather than like bigger is better. The snake, the snake by all means, should be the biggest thing in the news. But Kim Kardashian is bigger because it's like in our head, there's so much. much more attached to it that's bigger, like stardom and celebrity and all this shit. Not to me. Are there any snakes that cover this range, India, Africa, Australia, southern Europe, South America?

No, absolutely not. No. Especially, well, and keep in mind, this is 47 million years ago, right? So during 47 million years ago was Pangaea, right? I don't know. I don't know if that's the right one, but it was when basically everything was connected, right? So if you look at the earth 47 million years ago, everything was connected. So you could have something that covered that range.

You're thinking of something that was on all these different continents. That doesn't exist in snakes in modern day because snakes can't fly. They can't travel over large distances like birds and things like that. So a python, an African rock python, Indian rock python, a Burmese python, a reticulated python, an anaconda. They're all different giant snakes across the world because they've had convergent evolution. They've evolved to be their own version of big snake because they're not able to travel across landmands. masses. Does that make sense? What are you doing, Pat?

Well, I want a piece. I've been looking at it the entire podcast. Snagging? Yeah, we have a little snacker. Thanks. This is your workout chocolate. How's it going, by the way? Oh, God, it's a disaster. I've heard it's going terrible, is it? It's such a nightmare. Wait, are you serious? Oh, I'm dead serious. It's an absolute disaster.

Don't make a chocolate business. It sounds like such a pain in the ass. It worked for Willie Wonka. Dude, it's such a nightmare. What's wrong? Okay, well, that's interesting because your core competency is not as a food entrepreneur. That's for sure. So you made a business endeavor. I think I'm actually interesting because we haven't talked about it. I mean, you love the – everybody loves the product, right?

So let me give you the old coach's compliment sandwich here. We can't make it fast enough. That's the biggest problem. We sell out immediately, which sounds like a great problem to have. Yeah. Except, again, this is the old coach's compliment sandwich. Coco prices have risen by 400% since we did this. There's some kind of cocoa shortage.

So our cost per bar has skyrocketed. It was an already expensive bar because it's a premium product made with high-end cocoa beans, high-end protein, blah, blah, blah, and an artisan chocolate factory. We don't have enough capital to make the massive bulk orders that would bring the cost down enough. That's all fine and dandy, whatever. It's still going well. It's still selling well. Except guess what? It's midsummer.

And guess what these fucking idiots that. run this chocolate business didn't think of. When you ship a fucking 12 pack, which is $100 worth of chocolate to Vegas in June, it arrives as soup and you get some pretty angry people. So we had to get a new 3PL, which a three-party logistics service that's packaging it now every time we order with an ice pack. But if they don't overnight it, which is its own set of costs, it still turns into soup. Yeah. So the chocolate, cocoa prices have risen because of what, something going on in South America or something like that? Some shortage of something, bugs, I don't know. Yeah. Wow. It's crazy how that stuff happens with with any sort of agricultural product.

That's all it is. Yeah. And it's all tied to that. So now we have to source beans from somewhere else and would they have to go through quality control and cocoa beans have moth problems. So you have to make sure that they don't have moth infections because then you can infect. Who did your risk assessment in the business plan? Well, who do you think? Was it you? No. Yeah. Well, yes. Yes, which means nobody did it. But all that being said, I mean, it is, we're selling every bar of chocolate we make. We figured out the melting problem. It's good. Everybody loves. likes it. I mean, literally, we, like, are, we have five-star reviews on Amazon. Like,

everything's good. I've been a nightmare business. I've been eating them on the elliptical. Have you? Yeah. Can I have a piece, actually? It sounds delightful. Just throw me a piece. But yeah, so that's what's going on with workout chocolate. It's crazy. You know, it's like, do you know why the McRib, very popular McDonald's promotion, is only every once in a while? I don't. No, no idea. But I know every summer they're like, the McRib is that.

It's a huge thing. They sell. Pons of them. Yeah. They only do it when pork prices come down. When pork prices are historically low, it's low enough to fit, you know, they can make the McRib at a low enough cost to where the McDonald's consumer will pay for it. That's weird. Because pork prices are so transient.

They go up and down. There's big swings. It makes sense. It really does. That's weird because I didn't know there was actual meat in those. Yeah. It's pork. I thought it was gelatin.

No, but it's all good. Are you going to continue? While we're talking about it. Yeah, I mean, we're going to try. We're trying to keep our heads above wall. I've sunk so much money into it. We have to at this line. Go out and buy some workout chocolate.

I feel bad now. Yeah, please. It is honestly quite good. It's tasty. I feel a lot less guilt because at least you're claiming there's 18 grams of protein. I'm not claiming there is.

But I'll give you some claims right here. You want some bro science? Yeah. This is bro science. Okay. New segment. When you eat something that's just fat and sugar, your insulin spikes and then drops,

right? Your blood sugar spikes and then drops. To combat, that when you have protein in it, it regulates that insulin spike. Huh, that's interesting. This is a known thing in the food space where the bro science comes in is we've stuck a bunch of protein in these chocolate bars and beta tested it in the sense of I've sat down and eaten three chocolate bars in a single sitting.

You don't get that like spike and crash. And I think it's because of the protein we put in it. I think because that's a known thing, it levels it out. That's also good for your insides too. Like it's bad when your insulin spikes. So you want to keep it even keel. Yeah. That's an interesting thing.

It's bro science. I got to eat a big piece of chicken every time I have like a sweet now. Yeah, otherwise you feel like shit. So you've been on a little kick, Peter, since your organs failed. Yeah. I'm going to see if I can find it. I'm going to see if I can find this. But what do you got?

Because what did you say your biggest issue with your diet was? At nighttime, I go down into the kitchen and I eat ice cream and boxes of cookies. Do you? That's sweet. All the time? Well, I was. Now I do it maybe once a week because I still am an addict to it. I wake up out of a dead-ass sleep and I like, I'm voracious to eat something sweet that's not fruit. I'm just going to say put fruit in the fruit. I tried to replace it with fruit and I'm just like,

ugh. It's not insane. Hey, can you try this? Can I give you one idea? Workout chocolate? No, well, that too. Yes, workout chocolate. Now get yours. A spoon of honey. Oh, that's smart. Because I swear to God you get that same sugar hit. that you want from like refined sugar, but it's honey and it's not as bad for you. So you're using an app called In the Zone? Sure, yeah. What is this app called?

That's the Fitbit app. Okay, so he's tracking his food on a Fitbit, and you can be very specific. And it tells you whether, it tells him whether... Oh, fuck you. I sent you that in confidence, you son of a bitch. I mean, if you don't want me to read it, I won't.

Too late now. It's pretty funny. It's very cute. No, go ahead. It's very cute here. So, cute. Peter had a dinner of 640 calories. Mm-hmm.

He had ground chicken, very reasonable dinner for a man whose organs hurt. So then he woke up in the middle of the night and had an evening snack. Okay. That consisted of 1,528 calories. Oh my God, Peter. I was still at a deficit. Wait, wait, can I tell you what he ate? Oh, boy.

What he did here in the middle of the night? Please. So he's, what time was this? Is there a time log? It doesn't say, but this is 1 a.m. at least, maybe two. All right. So he started out with a hate. little thing IPA.

No way. This is what you did it. You woke up and grabbed a hazy IPA. I can identify with that. I mean, some of these are from earlier in the night. Okay. I don't believe that.

We started out of it. Okay, wakes up, grabs a hazy. Well, this is, I'm imagining that he's in his kitchen with a flashlight, tiptoeing. Yeah, my phone light and in, in boxers. Yeah. He then had an apple. Okay.

That's fine. That balances it out. Then he had another hazy little thing. IPA. That's good. By the way, they're 240-some calories each. 214. Then he had

Chocolity Cats cookie. Oh, my God. My wife was so mad at me. What is that? Is that like a kid's product? Yes, the kids fucking treat. I was eating it like a savage. I eat my kids string cheese.

Oh, those are delicious. That's right. You had a serving of chocolatey cats. One serving? How many cookies in a serving? I think 13 or something maybe? Yeah. Probably see it right there on the back.

15. 15. So then he. grabbed some organic animal crackers. Oof, wife was really mad. I ate half the package. Then you had, I don't even know what this is, cinnamon school book?

Cinnamon. Are those cinnamon, cinnamon, those are probably cinnamon graham crackers. Yeah, it says cinnamon. How many cracker varieties do you keep in your pantry? I mean, they're all for his kid. Yeah. I'm going to.

Oh, there are cinnamon schoolbook cookies. Oh, look at that. I've never seen those. Yeah, that's them. You get a serving of that. But my question is. how many glasses of milk did you have because you had 450 calories

of milk? Three. Don't wash down your hazy idea. One for each cracker. Yeah, yeah, it was three. It's 150 per cup of whole milk. And that's also my child's drink. Yeah, of course.

He had 24 ounces of whole milk. But look, I'm still under the calorie deficit. You are. Because it seems like what happened was you didn't eat all day. That's right. Woke up starving. Yeah, it's a problem. I mean, it's a problem because if I do eat,

earlier in the day, I still might do this, but I'll eat like one of those things. Got it. But I don't. Like, I'm not hungry until like 4 p.m. And then I'm like, I know I need to eat. I need to shovel. But even if I eat during that time, I don't eat enough. Like I would never eat 1,500 calories during the day.

Right. For some reason. I don't know why. And then at night, like, and it should be the opposite, man. That's why I still have this fucking gut. Dude, you got to fill yourself up. with some high fat, high protein early. I'm dead serious.

You want to eat one of these workout chocolates personally? No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about making yourself a steak for breakfast. I'm dead serious. It sounds disgusting. Listen to me. Hear me out. If I was drunk the night before, it's the only way.

Hear me out. Your problem is you're not eating much all day. No problem. And then you're starving at night. It's true. That is the issue. So if you give yourself something high protein and high fat, you don't feel nearly as hungry or have nearly as many cravings.

At all. Yeah. And if you're waiting and waiting and waiting, then you're going to overeat. But if you eat early, I'm not saying wake up at 5 a.m. and have a steak. Right, right. At 11, grill yourself up a little steak and two eggs and it's high fat, high protein. It's still high calorie.

It's not like a chicken breast. Yeah, yeah, totally. But that's going to keep you feeling full so you don't do that to yourself. The cinnamon. Those look good, by the way. They're tasty. I will. I will say this.

Dundton milk. There's a real issue I have because my wife gets really mad at me because I eat all this stuff, right? But ever since... Well, yeah, you're eating the children's food. Hold on. Stop. Before we even have kids, had kids. She buys all this stuff, right? And then her method of eating this stuff is keep it in there basically until it goes bad and snack on it once in a while. Yeah. Right. So that's how she was raised. She, it's like so insanely different. Like, it's insane to me that somebody would buy like 300 different kinds of cookies and snacks and then just like... Keep them in there for months.

Months, maybe like half a year. And so I'm like, so it's been a really big point of contention because I've, of course, at the beginning is horrible. I was eating them all right away. Now I like leave it. Well, because you know that there'll be hell to pay.

But she gets furious at me, even after like a month or a month and a half that these have been in there. And finally I just say, fuck it. I'm eating this entire half of cinnamon cookies. I'm the same way as you. One container of that category.

Yeah. Eat it until it's gone. as quickly as you want. Then a new one. Not 17 varieties of cinnamon cookie. But you don't have 17 varieties of cinnamon cookie in your house. No, but I will say my wife and I have a big food problem too. And it's that she, I grew up not completely poor.

We weren't, you know, living in our car, but she had a lot more resources at her disposal. And a mother who loved her. Me. So did I. But she will fucking. make a pot of something, like a chicken soup. Yeah. And is fine eating that for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for as many days as it takes until

it's gone without any second thought. Okay. She can eat the same food because it's there and it's made. Yeah. Every meal. I'm like your wife in that regard. That's so I hate you both. Well, I hate it.

I must have variety each meal. Yeah. The problem with me is that my wife will do that exactly with like, and soup, it's a huge vat. Though I'll just eat that every day in addition to all of these other things as well. Last thing on food and then we'll wrap up here. We did talk about animal crackers.

I consider that animal podcast banter. So my wife has this thing called moderation that I've never experienced. She can literally make a box, like a box of Oreos last six weeks. This is what I'm talking about. She's an idiot. She's dumb.

It's insane to me. If there's Oreos in the house, I'm going to eat them as quickly as physically possible. Yeah, two settings, maybe. Maybe, maybe. With nine glasses of milk like Peter. Whole milk? Yeah, of course. Oh, my God.

I did it's so good. I got into, like, we didn't actually punch each other because we didn't actually play rugby. So, like, if me and my friend, like, in college, like, really got into it, it would just be, like, an hard wrestling match until someone was pinned down and you do this. Yeah, yeah. But it was because we had smoked a bunch of weed. Are you done? Are you done? We smoked a bunch of weed and my friend Matt Marks opens a bag of cool ranch Doritos.

And it's like two, three in the morning, right? I'm just like, amazing. Takes a Dorito and then passes the bag. And I'm like watching him eat it. And then I kind of offer him the bag back. And he's like, no, I'm good. Oh, God. What?

And I lost my mind. I was like, it's not believable. I was like, eat another one. No, I just was like, eat another one. He's like, nah. No way. No, you're going to eat one right now. And he's like, no, I was like standing over him.

I was like, put your hand in the bag. I was like trying to shove his hand in the bed. Had him like a full-blown weed panic attack. Can you imagine that? No, absolutely not. Who would do that? Never succeeded at that in my entire life. Yeah.

A sociopath. It's impossible. Yeah, he needs to get checked out. Yeah. 30 years later, he's got to get checked out. Yeah. It's not right. Hey.

James. You know me a BJ. Yeah. I get to do it. Don't be crazy. Be smart. Be smart. We're giving away cash.

I have no idea how many people have even made a video yet. Make a Leatherman video. Put it on Instagram. Tag us. Tag at Leatherman Tools. It's your last chance. Do it. Use promo code.

If you need a Leatherman or four. Yep. That's what Forrest recommends. Wild Times 10. Enter the contest. Get involved. Make us laugh. You got a chance to win five grand.

cash easy boom in your account take a trip take a trip good night everybody tonight wild times dot club slash info who cares no sound like sure cares no problems here no problems here i hate that everyone uses that now i mean it's the best