Wild2Mild Podcast - Ep 11. Her boyfriend KISSED her BFF? 😩

Episode Date: September 7, 2025

Send us a textIn this episode, Bethan and Nicole take another unapologetically deep dive into your dilemmas and fair warning, it’s not for the faint-hearted. What do you do when your boyfriend crosses the ultimate line and kisses your best friend? Is turning up 45 minutes late to every single meeting just “their personality”… or the height of disrespect? And when a man insists on paying for everything, is it a subtle form of control dressed up as romance, or simply a loving gesture of generosity?The girls don’t just skim the surface - they pick apart the messy layers, challenge each other’s perspectives, and give you the raw, unfiltered takes you’ve been waiting for.Of course, it wouldn’t be a Wild 2 Mild catch-up without a bit of chaos - from manic weeks of hopping on planes and soaking up Coldplay concerts, to prepping for the NTAs this Wednesday (yes, they’ll both be there, and you know there will be stories). Expect laughs, debates, a few gasps, and plenty of those “I can’t believe she just said that” moments that make this podcast what it is.Make sure to like & subscribe💕

Welcome to the Wal-Tamal podcast with me, your host, Beth and K-Shaw. And me, your host, Nicole O'Brien. Welcome, welcome. Welcome back, guys. Right, guys, I've got a face mask on because it's that time in the month. It's literally just started this morning and I'm actually over it right now. Like, I'm genuinely over it. I cannot even. Yeah, and I'm also really ill, so sorry we're starting off now on this note.

Yeah. Do you ever see the episode of Friends where Phoebe is like, oh, I want to sing like sexier? so she makes herself sound sick. No? Oh no, that's literally like, I feel like I'm chatting kind of like a man right now. Like, my voice is so low. I just sound so, so ill.

But kind of sexy vibes now. Yeah, sexy. Like, what's it called? I don't know. Ignores, I've got brain fog. Ignores, let's just start there. Let's just start there. Tell me, you've had a busy week.

I've had a busy week. Oh, my God. Yeah, so I went on a brand trip with fake bake this week. it was so good we went to somewhere i got listening to this we went to somewhere called penis cola no you didn't i swear to god penis cola yeah i swear to god what i know um but yeah it was so good it was so nice and do you know what right you know like obviously on these brand trips right like i haven't been on many but i have heard that on these brand trips like the really work yeah like apparently the itinery is back to back to back to back like you are like you've just

got no time to even think right this fake big trip was the shit it felt like girls holiday it was the most chilled relaxed genuinely had the best time ever not one bad word to say about it I really really loved every single second of it

and yeah it was just fantastic I do feel like I've had a holiday honestly but I'm not got though I have come back off the holiday and I'm like I'm tired I just want to sleep I know you did a lot of travel though like travel was a bit late and getting in and stuff like that yeah yeah like so basically we

travelled late at nine o'clock and then we flew into stand stead so then it was like an hour drive but then we were sat on the plane for so long like because the you know like the tunnel that they attached to the door yeah couldn't attach so then they had to set up all the cones down so we just had to sit and the plane was sweating oh I couldn't oh I don't that was in me under someone shouted bing bing bong the plane did it just some random man just shouted bing bing bing bong What is it? Bing bong, catch me, no, not catch me aside, what was that thing? Catch me outside, how about that? I don't know. What was it though? Bing bong. It was a TikTok.

Oh, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, it was TikTok like two years ago. Oh, I can't remember. How was your week anyways? Oh, manic. So basically, I had my sister over and we went to Coldplay. This has been my dream for years. So I spent five hours getting tickets for Coldplay last year, couldn't get them. And then an amazing company called the Green Room Experience invited me like two months ago and I was crying I was like oh my god I can't believe I'm going to co-play and when I tell you it was the best night of my life of my life I've seen the videos on your story and I was like oh my god that looks so cute with everyone with the little I love it when concerts do the little wristband thing with the lights

that's my favourite thing I don't know why everyone doesn't do that I know it was just it was so special and to like be there with my sister and everything it was just so nice so that was like I got to bring a plus one and she's such a big fan so that was like her birthday present So it was so amazing And then we went to go see The Great Gatsby musical

Which was really good Corbin Blue was in that The guy in high school musical He's one of the main characters In high school musical Do you know what I'm not a high school I'm not a high school musical person I'm not gonna like I know

Do you know I feel really like So even when I was on the trip Like they were talking about They were singing a song and it could have been from high school musical or that's all raven or something like something to do with Disney Channel right and I was just like no I'm a Cautau Network kind of gal

I was an Ed Nettie kind of girl you know what I used to love it or Jimmy Neutron you know what I something like that I wasn't a um like I wasn't I used to love them that's so funny but yeah anyway it was weird like seeing him in the flesh

because like do you ever see the movie well you probably if you're not into Disney jump in with the double Dutch like that was my favourite movie with Corbyn Bloom so he was amazing and Amber Davies from Love Island was one of the main characters she was 10 out of town very talented woman and then excuse me yeah then we went for like dinners and stuff like that and then we went out the night after but when I tell you like I was so mentally drained like being an empath like you feel everyone else's energy and stuff yeah so being in a stadium

of 80,000 people I can't describe to you how exhausted I was right after that because everyone and I was obviously crying through the whole concert because I was so emotional so it was just it was a lot but it was like the best experience yeah but yeah and now I'm sick because you've obviously put to me and then I'm going to catch something and then someone else is kind of catch stomach and we're just going to pass it around we're going to pass it to the NTAs yeah oh yeah we've got the NTAs now this week on Wednesday I know and it's the 30th birthday apparently I haven't looked into that so don't quote us but apparently it's the 30th birthday it's a big NTA's event and this is the first time

I have I've been in the NTAs. Yeah, I went years ago. It was good. Right. Yeah, it was good. I'm really excited. So, I'm going with fake fake. Yeah, we're going with fake bake.

It'll be so fun. And just to get all glammed off. I still haven't chosen a dress or anything. This is typical me, like so last minute.com. Yeah. With all this, but it'll be amazing. Yeah, for sure. But it's like, this week is just so busy again.

But very grateful. So grateful. I can't believe it. You know what I just wish. I wish I had like, I feel like I just, my energy is so low. And I feel like that's what's actually like making, like, I feel like that's what, like, annoying is at the moment.

Because, like, I'm having all these amazing, like, even when I went on the fake trip and I've came back, like, I feel so drained where I never used to feel drained from being around, like, people. Do you know what I mean? Whereas now that I feel like I'm older, I just feel like I'm so, like, I feel my social battery, like, depleting.

Like, whereas, like, back when I was young, I remember like I used to feel energized around people whereas now I feel like I'm such an introvert obviously like last week I went to the doctors you know I got diagnosed not diagnosed I got put on anxiety medication whatever and she said and I say to her I said like when I'm around people I feel very introverted yeah and then she was saying like typing it up and she was like and feels very introverted around in social dynamics and I was like this was never me like I don't understand how like I know everyone changes like and you do change as a person but I feel like I've changed in a way like I don't like that about myself now yeah but you know I see in

TikTok and I said neurodivergent people become extremely drained just after one social setting like three weeks to like recover brilliant and yeah and then someone actually commented because I had a TikTok up about that like two months ago and I seen someone commented this morning because I was saying getting dreamed in social settings and they were like if you suffer from anxiety it takes so much to like build yourself up to go to these things that then when you get there you're absolutely depleted

and then when you leave you're depleted so it's like how do we fix it? That's what I mean I don't know and this is a thing like when I was on the trip with the girls it felt so good like I was really like I was really enjoying myself when I was there like well having such a laugh like me and I'm about crying laughing a lot of the time

and I turn around was like I'm going to get abs from this trip because of you. I was like, there we go. Love that. But this is what I mean. Like there was never a point on the hollet. So this is what it, like, that's probably the like difficulty that I have in my brain where I'm like, why do I feel like this when I didn't feel like that

when I was on the trip? Like it doesn't make sense to us anymore. Yeah. Like when I go to these events and I'm having such a good time and then I come back and I'm like, how do I feel like, you know when you went to call play? Like how do you feel depleted when you had such an amazing time? like in my head it's not sinking in you know what i mean i think it's when you give so much emotionally though oh you're like that's what it was for me is that i was just like crying right everything emotionally that makes sense but i was laughing all the time so yeah but then i feel like does that not

reach you would think that that would recharge you know maybe i don't know i'm sick of trying to figure this out yeah do you know what i mean like we literally i feel like let's just not try and figure out anymore. Yeah, let's not. Because I feel like that's the draining part. It's trying to figure it out what the hell is wrong. I know what I mean? Has to fucking drain a bit? I know. Like, I actually think, like, every single day, we're always on this podcast going, what's wrong

with me? I know, I know. And the listeners are probably like, oh, God, here we go again. Here we go again. Too problematic girlies. Literally, that's genuinely how I'm starting to feel, though, like, generally I'm starting to feel problematic in my own life. I know. But we're going to reframe the mindset.

it's going to be a great week. Yeah, T.4. And we've got some amazing things on this episode. So obviously we've started off since last week doing little snippets of Am I the Villain, Green Flag, Red Flag, Dilemmas.

So we're going to do one a week because I think last week's episode was quite long. It was an hour. Well, yeah, it was an hour. I mean, did you like it? Did you like the OWI episode? We're armling on, probably.

We're back and forward like, oh, we're going to get cancelled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, shit. Can't believe I said that. And then I was like, do you know what? raw and unfiltered like that's just us anyway

so I was like let's just upload it how it is yeah you guys have actually oh my god guys you sent in the loveliest messages to the Instagram yesterday we checked them and we were both crying yeah I know you literally made us cry you made us cry someone was going for a really hard time

and they said that we were getting them through it the big sisters the big sisters oh my god we're both bowling on the sofa we were crying yeah like so I feel like you love the unfiltered side I think that's very important for us to be like that.

So we leave in all the butts and the ends and the maybes and blah. But yeah. So should we get on to Am I the villain? Yeah, yeah, we should. Am I the villain? Yeah, yeah, of course. Oh, guys.

What you sent in is so good as well. I know. Right, so let's have a look. I mean, good in terms of good content but awful of what you're going through. I'm so sorry. I know, I know, I know. Right.

Okay. So this is how it starts. Okay. Hi, girls. I need your help because me, my friend had a bit of a fallout and I'm wondering I'm the villain. So I've got a friend who was always in capital as late and I'm not exaggerating like 20 minutes late but usually it's closer to an hour. That's a little bit mad. That's

ridiculous. Yeah that's mad. The other week we arranged to meet for food and I ended up sitting in the restaurant for 45 minutes before she turned up. I was fuming. So I said something. I wish you told with what she said. Oh, yeah. I know. I wish you put that in. Um, she straight away got offensive. Oh my God. Defensive. Defensive. She straightway got defensive and said, I can't help it. I've got ADHD. Time gets away from me. So I told her, I do understand that ADHD is real, but it's not fair that I'm constantly left waiting. I even said if you know time is hard for you, then you should be planning better and it's not an excuse to be disrespectful. And now she's upset, telling me, i don't get her struggles and that i'm being really hot and unsupportive what do you think am i the

villain i don't think you're the villain i've had this happen before yeah and so have you yeah same i don't think you're the villain i think if you have ADHD and if you're neurodivergent and you need to figure out ways to manage that to not be disrespectful to other people obviously they understand what you're going through but i had a friend who was always doing this and like I'm busy I cannot be waiting an hour for you and yeah I don't think you're the villain

it's like it basically makes you feel like they're putting their time and their time is more important than yours and I've got ADHD myself like I'm clinically diagnosed I've had physical examinations I am diagnosed ADHD I'm meant to be on it medication but I'm not

and I have set timers I set timers to make sure that I'm not late 10 minutes late, yeah, fair enough Like sometimes the time does get away from you But when you look at the clock And you recognise that you're late And you're like, oh my God, I'm late I've got to leave in 10 minutes

If you're then late after that You're actively choosing Because you've looked at the clock and went Right, I'm 10 minutes late And then you actively choose To make other decisions like Do a different hairstyle Or do this with your makeup

like yeah do you know what I mean yeah or like you're choosing what outfit to wear and you're back and forward choose what outfit to wear or you're cleaning the dishes before you leave like you're actively then choosing to be late I think yeah and for me like uh like I say I set timers and I schedule my whole calendar and I'm like looking at a calendar constantly you're so good for the calendar so like I love like doing like lists and things like that and like time stamping everything and Bethan put me on to this like calendar app is it just Google calendar it's Google calendar yeah yeah but it's all like color coded and you've got all your time stamps and you've got everything in there and I think like you need to figure out how to manage it yeah in terms of like

your time and also be like if you've got dinner booked for five put it in for half four and then if you end up getting there for 10 to 5 you're 10 minutes early do you know what I mean like you need to figure out how to manage it I don't think you're the villain in terms of having a go at her for this because 45 minutes is actually what like i get it like 10 minutes late or like 5 10 minutes late or 15 minutes late like i get it that's not really it would be very annoying and at the end of the day like it's not like we want to come for the person who's saying that they're late and like we're not coming for that person either because at the end of the day like that i understand it is really hard to have ADHD it's like it is a struggle

but at the same time like you're going to lose all your friends yeah you will If you aren't actively making choices that are, like, respectful to your friends, your friends are not going to stick around because who's going to stick around every single day, but getting late, 45 minutes, every single time you meet someone. Every single time you meet someone, it's getting moved back, to get moved back. Your friends are going to go, right, I'm actually sick of this, because now you're showing that you don't actually give a fuck about my time and my energy and my, my, yours is more important.

Yeah, but that's exactly what it seems like. But that's what I'm saying. Yeah, you get sick of it. Like, we've both had friends who were like this. And after years of being friends with this person, I would, like, try and help them. But I was just like, I can't deal with this anymore. Like, I understand what you're going through. But she lost all of her friends because of it.

This is, like, one element of what went on. But I was just like, oh, my God. And it's so sad. Yeah, it is sad. But at the same time, it's like, it's just one of those things. Like, I say, you know, it's. you can't tell people how to be like if you if you don't want to like make if you don't want to put in the F app for the other person especially if they voiced it then that there's nothing

you can do yeah but at the end of the day like this fact that the fact that you've said that you understand but it is one of those it's like a really difficult like situation isn't it because you don't want to dismiss someone's you know mental illness but at the same time I've got ADHD as well I understand it is frustrating it is disrespectful

yeah they just need to figure out how to manage their time better and as you said and I agree they will end up losing friends unfortunately because you just have to respect other people's time

and I don't think you can blame everything on ADHD like yes if you have it I get it and I get how it's frustrating and you need to just you need to figure out the tools and that's what it is, the tools of life and how to navigate it.

And I know that can be overwhelming and things like that. But at the end of the day, you need to figure that for yourself. And like, again, for the people around you, and it's not easy. But your friend seems to understand of what you're going through, but you just can't be disrespectful and keep doing this. Because it's just lousy. So we don't think you're the villain. No.

I don't think you're the villain at all. But then I also, I don't think that they're the villain, but I do think that there's an element. I just think 45 minutes is. that's taking the pace yeah I just think 45 minutes is mad I think yeah 10 15 minutes late like your time's getting away from you

I understand that but but you're sat in a restaurant for 45 minutes every time I would lose my shit yeah and then also this gives like this is what the stigma of like people so like obviously people go oh everyone's got ADHD like this is what

has caused and stigma for people who have got ADHD as well like using it as an excuse because you can say listen I struggle with this blah blah but for instance for example like body doubling for me well like I get on better when I'm body doubling so then I put myself in environments where I can body double do you know what I mean so that's me that's then helped that that um like doing part of yeah doing the tasks and stuff like I'll be like with you and I'll be doing the tasks with you or I'll like take my laptop and I'll go and sit in a coffee shop or something so I can get things done do you know what I mean so like there's ways and means about it and if you go like I obviously do um there's like a coaching with ADHD 360 where you can literally go into like seminars and stuff like that and they talk to you about and they're basically like there's loads of articles you can read which like literally there's like proven studies to help with ADHD so like I'm researching all the time on how to navigate my neurodivergent brain yeah you know what I mean so I think for me

I can say it from a place of like I am actively trying to work and find different ways how to navigate it so now that I know that you can navigate things like that it's just a bit yeah it's a bit lousy like yeah I think people

may get overwhelmed and like with all the tools out there but unfortunately you need to just apply some of them and as you said body doubling is such a big thing and just timestamping and colour coding and loads of different things that you can do maybe take like two to three little tools so you don't overwhelm

yourself but definitely try like get some tools to figure out how to manage this um because if you're just going through life without any tools it's so overwhelming it's a lot you feel like you're behind constantly life is just too much so i also think as well like well i mean obviously it's kind of more directed at that um the other girl but like i feel like finding people who have also got ADHD and who understand as well who are not judgmental too because

you can then talk about it and like share like tips and stuff with each other oh yeah sorry there was a call I didn't know if they heard it but yeah so you're not a villain you're not a villain right

what should we do now Green flag red flag yeah we'll do green flag red flag yeah we'll do green flag bearer okay do you want to read it which one is it that one? Yeah, just that

highlight one, yeah. Okay. I've been seeing this guy for a little while and one thing he does every single time we go out is insist on paying for absolutely everything.

I'm talking meals, drinks, taxis, even little things like grabbing a coffee. At first I thought it was sweet and generous. Yeah, cute. Yeah, love that.

Queen, queen, pop off. Who doesn't love being treated, right? But after a while it started to feel a bit awkward. Even if I suggest splitting the bill. He kind of gets offended like I'm rejecting him by trying to pay my way. Charlie not.

I know. But also I kind of get it. Okay. Why now? Some of my friends say it's a green flag because he shows he's a provider and he wants to look after me. But others say it could actually be a red flag, a subtle form of control because he's always the one holding

the power when it comes to money. I'm stuck between appreciating the gesture and worrying about what it might mean in the long term. Is this a green flag or a red flag I'm going to say a green flag because I just think you know what if you found a man who actually wants

to provide then that's like his that's his thing like if he wants to provide then that's a green flag but if he's using it to control then it's a red flag do you know what I mean but you how would you know it's hard to know because

I think for me like I really struggle let's say on dates like I hate them paying at the very beginning but I think for me that's like me showing that like I'm an independent woman and I want to pay my way and but then I start off on the wrong foot because then they expect me to pay moving forward I think if this guy is like I want to pay I want to pay yes I can feel uncomfortable and I get that like I would feel a bit uncomfortable with that because I would think is he trying to take control but after

being on the other foot where I end up paying for dates quite a lot in the past I would say that this is a green flag and I think it may be a little bit controlling it just depends how he acts after yeah like I feel like it's just holding it against you or anything I don't know

I feel like if he holds things like against you or I feel like the thing is if you're like making your own money and you go to work and you've got your own like um source of like financial income and stability then how can it really be a form of control because you can walk away anytime we want because you've got your own job and you're literally like do I mean but then at the same time it's like if he's providing a certain type of lifestyle yeah oh I wish I'd just had an instant you know like just an answer like that always tipping in between it oh I don't know yes I don't know yeah but I think it's good to weigh up both

sides yeah that's that's important here i feel like for me i would think that this is a green flag just reading this but if he like holds it against you down the line which i have seen happen where you people will end up splitting up and then he'll be like well i paid for this i paid for that and then i've had a friend who this happened to and the ex then sent her receipts for him to pay for her to pay him back for everything swear to god yeah Yeah, yeah. He bought her like an expensive bag and he was like, I need the money back and or give me the bag back and things like that. Especially if it was a gift. That's crazy. It's crazy, but people become bitter like when they break up. So just be wary of how he actually

acts and hope that this is like just a general like the gesture of like being kind and not using it for the long term effects of trying to control you. Yeah. So I don't know how long you guys are together um but yeah for me off the bat i would say this is a green flag yeah and i all i think as well i think as long as you always have like i feel like it would stop becoming a red flag if he's kind of like you know ushering you to like quit your job and like he look after you and things like that i feel like that becomes a little bit more of a red flag because you need to have your own financial independence and not rely you need to be able to not rely on him you know what i mean like look at this as like getting treats but like not like how do I describe it like rely yeah just not

relying on this and so looking at it as like extra little treats um you deserve the princess treatment yeah gorgeous girl you deserve the princess dreaming you do and I know you say like you're worrying about what might mean long term I mean so you could only be worried yeah it could only be worrying if you then don't have a financial stability yourself yeah that that would be the only worrying thing because or if he was to like hold it against you but

I think it's like one of those things that it just it's I don't know you're gonna have to wait and see but I think yeah green flag I think for the time being just be wary if it does end up being like a controlling situation and if he like pushes you away from working

and your friends and things like that yeah but yeah But for now, it's actually cool and cute. Cool and cute. And you're getting treated like a princess. Yeah, cool and cute, cool and cute. So we're going to go on to a dilemma someone sent in. Right.

Okay. Oh, I remember briefly reading this well ago. Oh. Yeah, it's wild. Okay, okay. So my best friend has been dating this guy for a few months now, and on the surface he seems great. He's polite, he gets on with everyone, he makes a laugh, all of that. But there's a problem.

Oh, my God, a couple of months before they actually got together, we were all on a night out and he drunkenly tried to kiss me. Or he pushed, sorry, I pushed him away straight away because obviously I would never go there, but I didn't tell my friend at the time because it felt like one of those stupid drunken mistakes that didn't mean anything. Now though, every time I say them together,

it's in the back of my mind. I don't know if I should tell her because on one hand I feel like she deserves to know everything about who she's dating on the other hand it was before they were official it was only

it only happened once and might just oh god I can't read and it might just be it might just cause unnecessary drama and ruin their relationship yeah yeah

do I stay quiet because it was in the past and it didn't go anywhere or do I tell her and risk blowing everything up um and maybe even losing my best friend in the process that is wild that's crazy that the thing is though i'm so like for me personally like say if there weren't it wasn't really a oh let's have a like thing so if it wasn't really a thing like they weren't official and they were just dating why did the friend not tell her in that stage like this is what's frustrating because

it's like you should have told her sorry yeah yeah do you know what I mean I think you should have told her as well because like for instance if you were dating someone I would have been like what the fuck yeah but like no offense we've kind of made it a little bit worse why not telling her at the time I know but we'll get through it we'll figure it out yeah we'll figure it out I think you have to tell her because this is going to weigh heavy on you yeah and you're going to be so uncomfortable and yes like I feel like if I would was your friend and this happened I would be like what the hell and unfortunately a lot of the time the blame will be and I don't know why this is

and it really annoys me put the blame is on the woman but this is not your fault because he kissed you right I hope that your friend doesn't fall out with you I really hope that she has enough common sense to like look at the fella you know what I just realise

why are men always putting women in these positions. I know. I know. It's mad. Constantly. It's like he is the one like say for instance like totally off topic here but for instance like if somebody say for example if somebody DM'd someone in the had on that profile that they've got a girlfriend and a kid and all of this in the profile picture but then they're messaging like someone like being like you're so fit and sexy and then like why would it be that the woman's fault yeah it would be the woman's fault if the woman was to expose this man and the woman would be getting backlash for expose

and what the man's done. It's up, like it makes my blood boil. I just don't understand why that always is the case. The woman is always blamed. What is that? Yeah, but we're not getting into it. Yeah, we won't get into that now.

Because I cannot. I'm literally on a period. Yeah, I cannot. You'll be ill. Yeah. I personally think, like, it probably should have been a conversation that happened a bit earlier

because now I think feelings are going to be a lot more involved and sometimes like women are besotted a little bit and they're in this like mindset where like they just want to believe everything that the voice is like for example like I've definitely been a position where like someone could tell me something I could literally be getting DMs left right and sent are about my boyfriend this this is this and then I'll believe him if I've got no evidence or no proof because you want to believe because like hope but like hope is very strong and it can and I feel like

the hope that some men provide to women because they like can literally just have the gift of the gap can genuinely fuck with your brain so much like there's there were so many times like in my life where like I would be like listen I'm getting these DMs

from girls that you've done this and you've done that and they're like they're lying they just want to break us up yeah and then I'd be like oh and then they're just like wing the way back in that's it. Now when I look back at that and I think, oh my God, I was so desperate. That's the only way I'm going to expect. No, it's desperation. No, it's desperation. No, it's

desperation. It honestly, now when I look back at it myself and my thingy, I was desperate to be in a relationship like, and I was desperate to feel that love. Now that I'm so content being single, I literally, I'm like, it makes us feel sick. Like when I look and I think the shit that you put up with. I know. And I've seen a happy. happen to so many people how lads will just worm their way out of a situation when and then the friends can see what's happening but it is frustrating when the fella's just giving it the gift of the gab gift of the gab and then oh that's just so yeah just so bad and then you think oh my god and then it's like frustrating for you to watch as a friend as well do you know what I mean and then but

you can't get too involved because I've done that before where I've gotten I think I may have mentioned this in the previous episode I got so involved in the situation where I was just like because I loved my friends so much and like this is just so frustrating to watch and then I ended falling out with her but only for like a week do you know what I mean and then we were fine but like you just you need to find a happy medium of that but sorry we've gone a little bit off top of here yeah we did but I think with this you need to tell her because this is going to weigh so heavy on you and even when you're like out with all of them for like drinks and like what not and you don't know he could have told his friends like you don't know who he's told and if that gets back to her through someone else you can guarantee the friendship will be done because you haven't come to her directly with it yeah and even though technically it's not your fault because he kissed you but you just need to put your big girl panties on and it'll be fucking anxious telling her and it'll be awful but just rip the band-aid off and do it and hopefully in time she will come to

realize if she doesn't at the time that you tell her that this is his doing and not yours um and also as well like if I was the other girl like I would really want to know who I was dating and I'm so sorry like I know that there's sometimes there you can be a little bit apprehensive as well I don't know if that's the right word I think it just sounded good but um you can be a little very smart it sounded smart I know you can kind of be a bit wary on like approaching girls because sometimes girls can be like again they can't take the boy side and then that's what makes you not want to say certain things because you're like oh like are they're going to you just think that they're not going to like side with the girl whereas if it was me I would really want to know who I was dating like because of the worst that

my worst fear honest to God my worst fear is dating them. man that every single woman looks at and goes oh my god he's a dog him like that is my worst fear honestly like like he is like he's so disrespectful like i feel really bad like you know when like men have these like um they have these reputations on like oh he cheats on that all the time and you know like when you just hear like gossip and stuff like that and i feel so bad for the woman i want to save i know i want to save her from that awful man yeah um you know and you do hear these situations yeah you do of like you know like men who have got wives and children who are like cheating on holiday and stuff and i just i'm just like oh my god like that

woman deserves so much better like like these men need to be left alone yeah these men need to be alone yeah they do it is as simple as that and learn that lesson but unfortunately just it just doesn't work like that yeah um and you know what i was actually thinking the other day like you know how at the minute there's like that lonely man epidemic or something at the moment and you know what I was thinking about it right

like we're probably thinking oh it's like the bad men the men who are treating women like shit who are like probably lonely and feeling bad and then like ultimately it's like yeah that if you are abusing women yeah you should be alone but in my head I'm thinking it probably isn't them

what you think it's a nice guy who ends up in I think it is. That makes me really sad. Yeah, I think it is. Well, not like, I don't know what. Just think it's like maybe the shy one or the one who doesn't, maybe the socially awkward one or. I did see a podcast clip come up from, I actually forget what podcast it was. It was just a random podcast on my TikTok.

And they said, basically, sorry, it wasn't. It was an interview with Sarah Jessica Parker and the other two women. I forget the name on Sex and the City. and it was an interview, this woman was in her 30s interviewing them and she was like, look, guys, like, do you have any advice? I'm single, I'm in my 30s, but I just keep getting the wrong men. Something along those lines. And they told her, they were like, look, have you ever thought about that the men who approach women are the men who are probably the most confident, but confident because they get loads of women? So they're able to approach you and they end up,

not all of them obviously but they end up kind of being not very nice in the long run but the quieter men who maybe haven't had great luck with women over the past few years are struggling to approach women because they're not as confident in it

but they're actually the nicer men so that in turn like even when like the other day I was out for dinner with my sister and we were walking in central to the restaurant and there was this man a builder and he shouted something like oh you're at girls something and i was just like honestly

i turned to my sister and i was like has he not seen what's going on in the world like fuck off like fuck off and stop shouting at the two of us walking down the street yeah we stopped calling women we sat down and we were having lunch outside and then we were laughing about something because and that a similar situation happened the night before at an event and then we were discussing that builder doing that and my sister obviously she lives at home in Ireland and we were saying how in Ireland that doesn't really happen a lot back home the cat call him no yeah it doesn't really happen back home um I feel like as a country we're very woke and aware of a lot of things that are going on in the

world as well um but we were mid conversation about it and then two of us had just sat outside having lunch and this guy approaches us and he stands over us at the table was I telling you this no no yeah he stands over us at the table. He was like, oh, you drop something on the floor. So I thought I dropped my phone or something. So I looked down and he goes, my jaw. And he was like, oh, my God. Like, what's your name?

Like, I'm sat outside with my sister just chilling. And I felt so uncomfortable. But it's crazy how we were mid-conversation talking about these types of situations when this happened. Do know? Oh, go on. And then, yeah, basically, I was just like, oh, like, leave me alone. Like, I'm in a relationship. Obviously, I'm not.

But, like, what the first? fuck like I just I don't like being approached like that it makes me feel so uncomfortable and I get it like the more confident men may approach but like it just makes me feel uncomfortable yeah I don't know how I've gotten on to this but then but then a question is as well like if there's someone that you were attracted to would it make you feel uncomfortable yeah I think so like I because I would feel like oh you feel very comfortable doing this a lot like okay yeah yeah yeah so yeah and then that that was it really but I just think how did I like oh yeah and about like the good men and maybe not being as confident to come up and talk to you yeah um so that is the lonely man

epidemic maybe is just the good men who just I know that's what like makes us feel bad yeah because I'm just like oh but then at the same because it's like you do hope that like you know the the the ones who are like feeling shit or like whatever it is the ones who are awful to women and whatever um but then it's kind of like look at all of the times like women's like obviously um abuse and death and all of that is like skyrocketing yeah and it's like well when did you care like yeah yeah yeah um but another thing on catcalling as well um how mad is this so like say for instance like if women were to cat call men men are like flattered by it but again it's like because it it feels different i think it's because like women fear men

Yeah, that's it. Like, there's no kind of, like, I mean, there might be, like, in some cases, but genuinely, you wouldn't get, like, women who, sorry, you wouldn't get men who, like, fear women, I would imagine. Yeah. Well, that's just my opinion anyways. But obviously, when cat... Oh, yeah, sorry, go on.

No, no, it's all right. No, no, go on. No, when obviously women, can't call men is different, and then when men can't call women, it's, like... It's scary. Yeah, it is scary. Yeah. it is thingy but yeah i think obviously going back to to that um dilemma i definitely think

you should tell her just because i would want to know i would i would want to know who like the crack that was going on yeah you know what i mean next in bed every night like but expect you probably will say why didn't you tell us this yeah before because now i'm literally like really like really into this guy and you've told his thingy but at the same time like that's just a thing that you're going to have to navigate a navigate yeah but tell her for sure but just have an answer ready

as to when she will ask you why didn't she tell me why didn't you tell her yeah but no like I get it if it's like anxiety and you just don't know what to do and then it festers a big thing yeah yeah yeah yeah but yeah did we have any more dilemmas or we're just doing one just a one episode one episode because the last episode was

an hour long. It was and you know we love to chat. But if you do like it I mean this is probably an hour long as well I'll be honest. Yeah probably is

God only knows how long this is. Oh no. But yeah I think should we wrap things up here? Yeah we shall. Yeah guys that was cutesy very cutesy very cute

make sure you like comment follow and share as well please follow us on YouTube that would be brilliant yes and obviously share any of these dilemmas if someone's going through something make sure you email us

remember the email is on the wild to mild podcast give us a little email let us unpick your dilemmas yes let's do it i would love doing this every week now this is the favorite thing this is the favorite thing and also we are planning in the next few months to do a little live little event with like 15 20 of you um a really cutesy event in london so we're in the process of planning these things hopefully in next maybe two months or so we'll do a live epa pod palat say it's same about appealing we'll do it all yes so yeah so just make sure that you're DM in because obviously we'll be choosing from like the DMs and who's engaging in the podcast and things like that and that too will be inviting along which would be so cute it'll be so

oh my god I'm excited yes for sure nice little girly day get to meet some of yours as well which will be cute yeah it'll be really fun yeah so that's it and we'll see you in the next episode Bye. Bye!