Wild2Mild Podcast - Ep 12. NTA’s gossip, witchcraft & breakups 💔

Episode Date: September 14, 2025

Send us a textIn this week’s episode of Wild 2 Mild, Nicole & Bethan are back with a bang! Fresh from their night at the National Television Awards, the girls spill all the behind-the-scenes tea. Chatting all the glitz, the chaos and the moments you won’t see on screen.But that’s just the start. As always, they dive into your juiciest dilemmas, unpacking red flags, green flags, and asking the ultimate question: are you the villain in your own story? No topic is off-limits, from wild witchcraft confessions and spell-casting adventures to raw advice on navigating heartbreak and finding your way back to yourself after the toughest breakups.It’s unfiltered, it’s hilarious, and it’s real. The perfect mix of chaos and comfort that only Nicole & Bethan can bring.So grab your headphones, get cozy (or pour a glass of something stronger), and join the girls for another unforgettable episode of Wild 2 Mild. And don’t forget to hit like, subscribe, and share with your besties - because trust us, you’ll want them in on this conversation.

Welcome to the Wilder Mile podcast with your host, Beth and Kershaw and your host, Nicole O'Brien. Girls, we've got some catching up to do. We went to the NTAs. Like, the NTAs. What the hell you, that's actually my first time going to the NTAs, you know. Yeah, I went years ago. It was good, but this year was like 10 times better. Yeah. I still haven't showered my tan off. I haven't showered since the NTAs. I know I'm a manky bitch. Oh my God, that was two days ago. It was two days ago and I still have my tan and like I dropped a coffee on me. and I can still see the coffee marks. How fucking disgusting is.

No, if you want to hear about disgusting, listen to this, right? So obviously I caught my makeup done, right? Costs $160. But Nicole, how good was it? Unbelievable. She is the absolute queen of makeup. Like, she is so good. Anyway, so I tried to keep this makeup on.

Yeah. Because I've got a hen-do tonight. So I was like, I'm actually going to try and keep the makeup on until tonight. So all through the NTAs had it on. Then I kept it on all. the next day as well by the way my skin was feeling mingin I was so overstimulated I was like oh I had two of the worst night sleeps but then I woke up this morning I had to wash it off because guys it was crusty musty dust but for being on for two days it was like

that set and spray what she used the morphie one yeah um but I need to get that that's an ad right there for no because I think it was a combination of skill that it yeah yeah yeah it was set and spray because that was it didn't budge all night didn't move you know me lip stain stayed on for it be 14 hours the beauty the lip stain insane insane like I have to scrub my lips to get that off yeah I gave it to my sister um when she was over last week and um she put it on and but she put it on wrong

and I was like oh my god no no you won't be able to she couldn't get off for two days oh my god I know I know I know yeah that is so good it's mad at your skin you've got not one spot loud I swear to God, if I went for a 10 minute nap in makeup, I'll wake up with a million spots. Like, you probably can't see it now because I've covered it, but you probably still can. The breakout I'm having is so bad. It's like cystic acne. But why does it do that?

I don't know. I just had bad skin. And as a 30-year-old, I was like, oh, like, when I was like 16 having acne, I was like, oh, yeah, I'll be fine in like five years. Nah, your girl's still getting spots every day. Well, let's go back to the NTA. Right. okay yes yes I can't believe it oh my god I loved me dress so much I felt like I felt like a mermaid a little bit because I had a mermaid fish tail and it was like a green color with loads of sparkles

it was nice it was like co-s it as well so it just sucked us in you know what I mean in the right places it was gorgeous we were too like little glam queens I know we never wear ball gowns and stuff like we'd never go anywhere to wear ballcats I know I know we're homebirds now I know we are homebirds like I need to I need to get out with this homeboons and stuff era because I need to get out of the house I know but it's hard especially now like coming into winter I'm like oh my god I can't wait for like autuminal vibes being indoors but um oh what's going on here auto connect to the no sorry guys my laptop is having malfunction um but yeah the NTAs were sorry who I thought looked stunning like hair and makeup and everything more Higgins yes

she was in the lobby with us and she just looked gorgeous gorgeous loved oh my god Molly and Tom Molly's outfit oh my in person as well

like when I've seen it like with my own eyes I was like oh my God I cannot believe it loved it crem de la creme I don't actually

I didn't get a chance to like speak to her oh I was trying to I know Molly years and she's so nice and I haven't seen her probably in about two years because we were on a brand trip

ages ago but when she was in the boss so we went with fake bake yes and the OG tanning brand. Oh, gee. I'm never ever go to any other tanning brand ever again now. Yeah, it's like the best and I used to use

it years ago and then our friend took it over recently and like the new formulations and everything like, I love a dark tan and when I tell you I am the colour of these walls I am that pale like you can see my veins can't you? Like you can see you can see everything in my body

and you can say the organ you literally can but that tan covers it and so yeah but she was in the box with us and Tom for fake bake at the NTAs and her she was showing me the ring and like the cut of the diamond

was the same cut as the diamonds on her dress did they do it on purpose like was that I don't know but like maybe it just worked out that way but like it did look like a whole matched perfectly like whoever styled her or if she styled herself like she was just yeah crime to the cram

literally shining stall of Bethlehem yes yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so coach but yeah she was stunning and yeah so I'm trying to think was there any drama I mean the only bit the only bit that I feel like we notice which we're for oh god I bet that's a bit awkward was the Mora Higginson Mcfly because the what were the uproar to war yeah I'm a celebrity get me out here I think that they won it right yeah they were on stage anyway and it's a proper awkward oh dear that likes to each other and I was just thinking I think was his wife and kids

there I don't know oh I imagine so And I'm just thinking, fuck and hell, that is so uncomfortable. I know. These are the things, like, even like,

you know, like the call play concert, like when the people were cheating and stuff, kiss calm. Like, just the, can you imagine the feeling that they were feeling? That would send us under that.

So uncomfortable. Uncomfortable. And then it's like, do you know what these things like, I mean, a lot of the industry date the industry, right? And a lot of people don't know

who people get with because, oh yeah, because it's all secret. Yeah, it's all a secret. So you guys, you guys don't know the half of who gets with who yeah so you're like with the boxes you've got like ITV had a box and then like yeah uh brush bands and uklash and like fake fake and we're all on the same floor yeah so then we all leave the box and we go outside into the like the lobby area

and the hallway and everyone's walking around saying hello we're bumped in um Anna and and Mandy Vakili yeah um everyone was there everyone was there but yeah so it is all because obviously when people are like getting with each other and then they're walking past you oh my god i know so like or like if you don't speak to someone and they're there and you just don't i'm like it's like an awkward encounter do you know what i mean and it's so funny because like loads of people like don't know what actually goes on because obviously like a lot of people do for press and whatnot but then people want to keep shit private obviously most i feel like most people want to keep the private i think when it's in the press it's because it's like it's like

it's like clarity isn't it yeah so guys if you knew i mean you knew i mean if you knew what we I want to tell them so bad I can't tell you half the shit but like it's fucking juicy but like when you see like people that you've like dated and whatnot and it's like oh god hi and then you find out loads of secrets as well and then floors as well after you find out loads of things because everyone just seems to be gossiping

I know everyone's like oh my god I've just bumped into yeah it was proper gossipy wasn't it was but it's like when you like was it awesome we're got it are we the problem and what's that what's that mean are we the problem yeah we are and we are and yeah i don't care i mean i'll be the problem i'll be the villain we love it i'll do it but it was so good yeah i loved it everyone looks gorge wait there sorry i'm such a foodie right so listen i need to tell you about this pulled pork sandwich that i

had oh my god divine divine and obviously i can eat listen i and put my food away if you can't tell but uh i was looking at them pulled pork sandwiches and i thought oh my god i need to get another one I thought, howie, I can't get another one. There's literally about 10 of us in this box, and there's only about seven of them. Oh, no, I think I had two. I was starving. I was starving.

And there's me like, no, I'll just have one. Let someone else have one. No, I was starving. And you're like, right, is it all? Yeah, yeah. I was starving. Yeah, fair. But yeah, it was such a fun little cutesy day.

I always feel like those events are like so good to go to. I just love seeing people I haven't seen in years. Yeah. And everyone looks gorge. Do you know, oh my God, little, update as well so obviously I'm on my anxiety medication um I mentioned it in a couple of podcasts ago um I actually feel all right I didn't get anxiety once on that day good not once did I get anxiety that even when I clocked eyes with like people that I'm not really

vibing with and you would have felt anxious yeah I would have been ill I'm always ill I'm just like oh like what like what is going to happen like are they going to try and speak the ways I don't want them to yeah yeah yeah yeah fuck oh like fucking leave us alone Let's pretend we don't know each other Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I wasn't anxious at all. I was literally having the best time. I was on cloud nine.

I was going up to everyone. I was like, hello, hello. I'm so proud of you. I can't believe. And I was really not going to persevere with those medications, you know, because it was really sending us west. I was just like, oh my God, I feel awful. It was bad, but I was like, you have to do it.

Persia to two weeks. Now, now, I've completed the two weeks now. Yay! So this is a little thing for anyone who still had, because I know there's a lot of stigma around medication and listen, I've fell a part of it where it's like, oh, you know, do this, do that, you can do this, you can go to the gym for your mental health, blah, blah, blah.

Listen, when you can't get out of bed to even brush your teeth, if you're trying to tell me to go to the gym, be so for fucking real. Sometimes you need to get on meds and that's fine. Doesn't mean that you're going to be on meds your whole life. Sometimes you're bringing just needs a little bit of, you know, When you've been dealt a few chords in your life that are a little bit shit,

then that's all right. There's a few tools to sell that shit out. Agreed. Agreed. Yeah, girl. Yes, girl. So listen. No stigma for the meds over here, love.

We're on the meds, right? Yes, and fucking dead right. Yeah, exactly. There's nothing wrong with it at all. No, there's not. But I know, because I went through a phase where, like, I felt embarrassed. That's what I felt.

I don't think there's anything to be embarrassed about at all. I think it's, like, such a power to you that you're making the moves to make yourself feel better. Yeah, for sure. Now, I recognise that, but there was a time where I was like, no, like, I don't want to go on meds.

Like, I felt embarrassed. I was like, why am I not strong enough? It's got nothing to do. It's brain chemistry, love. Yeah, exactly. It's chemicals, love. Sometimes you dealt with different cards. Yeah, exactly.

So that means use the tools that you got, right? Fucking dead right. Yeah, go on love. Oh my God, can I chat about something about the, so guys, I believe that me and Beth in are witches. Oh, yes, we are. I think more red witches. Red witches.

So basically all my mom's side of the family have like their mediums. We've got like spiritual powers and things like that. And obviously I've talked about being an empath and various different things throughout this whole podcast. So my period is always to the day. Okay. For only twice ever since I've had my period has it been like three days late. And that was like last year.

And I went to the doctor because I was scared. I was like that's weird that never happens the other day on the 9th which was what like last week or a few days ago I got my period

and it's two weeks early that's crazy which never ever happens mine was what was it two days late three days later and I'm on the dot

on the dot and I've seen a TikTok and it was like the 999 portal and for Manif infestations and everything and it was saying if you have your period around this time and if you've gotten it early or if you've had it late you are such a powerful red in witch red witch we would have been of the stake that's what they said on ticot i went into this whole like deep dive about it and we would have been like the outcasts yeah thousands of years ago we would be witches i'm so

proud to be a red witch yeah oh look yeah and red and i'm in red oh my god but How insane. So if you had your period around that time, you're a red witch. Gorgeous. Join the club. Join the club. It's so exciting. I know.

We actually have a dilemma which kind of clocks into all this witchcraft. Yes. Which I thought was so interesting. Yeah. Would you add to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Okay.

So we've got a message that says, hey, recently I got my first, wait there, sorry. So again, you know, because I can't read, sorry. Hey, recently got out of. my first lesbian relationship, please keep this anonymous, don't you worry, love. Always anonymous. Always anon. But found out afterwards,

she groomed a 16-year-old girl. She's Brazilian, lives in Portugal. I travelled over quite a few times. Turns out she loved by me, dreamed me of all my money and confidence. I was secure in the relationship, but she wanted me to have trust issues. Towards the end, I found she was cheating with both men and women.

I almost had a sole tie with her, but I went to a witch shop and she gave me a spell to cut ties and return to send her. Since doing that, she has left my brain and so many opportunities have happened for me. I know she is not happy

and she was keeping tabs on me from a fake account. I blocked her on everything and I have learned I am a lesbian from this, so I am good. I'm not sure if this is interesting for you. Yes, it is. Oh, it is?

Just to let you know, yes, it is. Yes, it is. But my life has been a whirlwind the past few months and it feels so good to type it out. I love your content and would love to know your vote. First of all,

I cannot believe about the grooming thing that's disgusting. That is wild. What is actually wrong with people? What is wrong with like people? I don't understand, like I honestly can't even fathom that though like how you can look at a 16 year old and want to group like that actually

makes me, I've shivers. Do you know what right? I feel like sometimes when it's relationships when people are older. I personally think, say if someone's like 30 and then someone's 40. Oh yeah, but that's like 10 years. Yeah.

But these people are older. I feel like because you've got more life experience and because you're not is like susceptible in manipulation and things like that. I feel like you're quite conscious at that age. Of course you are. Anything like I feel like young, when people are younger and then people are dead old,

I find that really weird and creepy. but that that that is like I know technically like 16 is like the legal age isn't it to have sex no to have sex and stuff like legally which to me is wild because I actually terrifies me at the age of 16 I was a baby

I wasn't old enough no you think you think in your head at the age of 16 you've got it all figured out honeies you don't like you've got so much life experience to like have and to have an older person take advantage of someone who is like so innocent and doesn't have life experience like it makes me

feel physically ill. I don't understand that. I think that society in the way that it is is so fucked up. Like 16 years old, I personally, I mean, listen, I thought I knew it all at 16 when I was a teenager. And you know what? I just, I honestly would love to get in a room with my 16 year old self and just give her a hug because she like, oh my God, it gets us really upset. Yeah. Yeah. I would cry fucking hell. Oh no. I know. I know. Oh no. I know. When you think of like the younger self and when like the stresses you had and like just like really bad trying to fit in and like yeah and figure out dating and everything so for one that that situation is wild yeah that's so fucked i'm so happy that you're out of that christ almighty that is no thank god but the witch thing

send that spell over i may please there's a couple of people that i want to obliterate out of my life out of my brain i would like to literally in fact i need about seven get sent seven spells all that old i want a whole spell book can you send this spell to the podcast page please because we really want to use this spell like that's amazing and i'm so magic and it's fine

oh ralph is coming in we've got a visit ah he has ralph he's just jumped on the bed if you have if you're watching it on youtube you can see my little my child has just jumped on the bed come on ralph oh yeah he was like no isn't he just the cutest

he's just the cutest child I know but what are we saying oh yeah the spells like I need I need that spell like ASAP and I'm so proud of you as human as a person walking away

yeah like because it's hard to do that it's like it's so hard to do that especially if you feel like you were like having a soul tie and you were being love bombed like that's like genuine manipulation one and one and you know what some people don't even realize that they're manipulating and that's the scarier thing. There's definitely been times in my life where I've manipulated people and I haven't realized

that that's manipulation. I'm trying to get something out with someone. I'm trying to be, I'm trying to get someone to be a certain type of way. Like say if I've got a shitty boyfriend and I want him to treat as good so then I'll like, I don't know, fucking ring his phone a million times. I don't know if that's class as a manipulation but it's definitely toxic. Like, fucking leave the man alone. Let him fucking crack on. In fact... In fact. It's like the men that we used to date, like, they would just send us crazy. But that's different to like this manipulation.

This person's grooming a 16 year old. Yeah. Like, love bombing. And then the fact you felt like you were soul ties is just, that's so hard. Like, I'd be in that situation where you actually feel like you're meant to be. And yeah, but this person obviously wasn't the person that you fell for. And it was, you know, just like the dad. they've been doing this so kudos to you yes well done for all the opportunities so proud of you yes

what was the what was the end of her message what was the dilemma the end of the um so let us have a look I'm a less oh no it doesn't really say a dilemma oh okay oh my god have I read the wrong one out for a dilemma I don't know no no that's it that so that so basically that was the that was the dilemma so she wanted to know what thoughts on it oh yeah the thoughts are fair play to you fair play to you for walking away and i just think so many people go through similar situations maybe not when it comes to dating someone who grooms a 16 year old but in terms of like a toxic situation which is so hard it took me six years to completely get someone out in my life who was a toxic relationship with

on and off um because i just wasn't strong enough and And yeah, now I am. And then that's it. And Gaudy vorge. Boy, bye. You know what I mean? But well done, honey. And send us a spell.

In your case, girl by. Girl by. Send us a spell. And at least you found out that you were lesbian out of this. So you take something positive away. Yeah, gorge. You know. Lesb be honest.

That's so gorgeous. Right. Okay. So we've got a green flag, red flag. Okay. Hi, girls. I've been seeing a guy for a few weeks. He always makes plans really last minute.

Like he'll text. at 6pm asking if I want to come over at 7 he says it's spontaneous and he doesn't like planning ahead but it leaves us feeling like I'm an after thought part of us thinks it's fun it's exciting but another part of it of me feels with it another part of it feels like he's not making proper space for me what do you think is spontaneous green flag or red flag that you can't plan anything I think it's red flag I think I'm very spontaneous but with like I think it's a green flag if he's like, pack your bags

we're going to Italy tomorrow that's spontaneity in a green flag if you've been dating for a while because remember I went out with that to me and me my third date the second date was Italy then he ended up scamming me out of eight grand yeah that's actually wild

Tinder swindler fucking vibes yeah oh god but yeah but that like going for a drink last minute if you listen listen your intuition love us women we ignore it but why our intuition tells us immediately what's going on if you feel a weird vibe act on the weird vibe you don't need to know the logistics because at the end of the day there's so many

other ways to communicate like it doesn't necessarily mean that you need to communicate with words you can communicate with body language you can communicate with micro expressions there's an energetic communication that you can feel and if you're not feeling the vibes if you're not feeling appreciative if you're not appreciated if you're not feeling like you're being a priority to someone, get rid because there'll be someone out there

that will choose the as a priority you're not a second after thought do you understand that? Listen to me when I tell you this you're not a second after thought love. Yeah for sure. I think if you feel like that you're not a priority like someone trust me

will make you a priority I've seen it happen so many times and it doesn't happen to me yet but no no because it does because it doesn't necessarily mean in relationship. Oh, I'm talking about relationships only. Right. Well, even then, I think, like,

because I feel like when you just focus on relationships and getting someone to prioritise you in a relationship, that puts you into a box where you think, oh, I'm not being prioritised. You are, you're being prioritised by your friends. You're being prioritised by family. You're being prioritised by people at work. Like, there's so many different ways that you can be prioritised,

but I think if you narrow it all down into just one category, like in relationships, listen, look around you. look at what's going on in people's relationships like don't put yourself into a box where you only want to feel like you're being prioritised in that specific area because you will be let down you will be let down one time or another

and I know there's these people online that are like oh my God my relationship blah blah blah blah blah but if you actually listen to the real authentic creators who talk about their relationships they talk about all these different problems and it's like you know what get rid

yeah get rid I think if you don't feel like a priority in any sort of relationship you definitely should be feeling like a priority in a lot of relationships do you know what i mean so i get the whole spontaneity thing and it is like some people are very spontaneous but like when it comes to like planning dates and stuff and like not when it comes to trips i think that he needs to prioritize you and your time and also i find it actually sometimes rude because it's like how can you think i'm just free at the last minute yeah it's like it's like well you're not appreciating my time like I may have plans like why do I

want to be available to you at the last minute yeah of course you know so I just think it's like a respect thing as well yeah like most of the time like you should have your own plans anyway so someone's like oh well should we do this last minute no yeah no and also never go on a date even if you

are free at the weekend dates on Fridays Saturdays and Sundays always do your dating midweek because you even if you're not busy you need to act busy. Act like your time is so important and that people are lucky

to have your time. Never give your weekends away on days. Yeah, well I think that's more of it I don't know, I feel like, don't really know. I feel like that's like more of it. I feel like you should be making yourself busy even if you're not.

Do you know what I mean? So a weekend because like say if you work at 9 to 5 that's your free time. So like if you go for a date after work then that's fair. yeah but even if you're not busy you should still try and keep yourself like make some plans for yourself do you know what I mean be busy but I feel like you should do my opinion I don't think you should be giving your weekend away to a man who you're just at the beginning starting going

out dating yeah like prioritise that for friends and family and your own shit yeah for sure um but yeah that is a red flag sorry red flag right flag right flag okay now next one we have got am i the villain it. Am I the villain? Right. Hey girls. I've just been dumped from a seven year relationship so my now X can fully fulfill the fantasy to move abroad, start a new life. Oh my God. But moving away with him slash doing long distance is just not an option for me. But we had such a good relationship. So like am I the villain for not wanting him to pursue his dreams because it means leaving me behind. P.S. I'm channeling my in our Beth and June this break up new single era gal love that love you love you too love and you know what clock

that share yes take my energy take it remember you're the boss you're the queen you're the prize you're the cake with the cherry on top you're the carrot cake with ice nins yes i don't bet i don't think you're the villain at all i understand it but equally i feel like people come to compromise us and I feel like sometimes it might be a case of like you just find each other later on do you know what I mean because at the same time you've got to let someone pursue their dream if they really want to go for it like because all I think there is like you don't want that person like later on down saying if things don't end up working out and they're not going well and you're arguing a lot you don't want things thrown back in your face like you know when like

you know when like you know when you see like in situations you're not going to be like in situations in movies and things like that where they end up throwing it back in that face and it's like, what's that movie where the, what's it something, Ephron? Zach Ephron and he plays that guy and he was like throwing it back in the wife's face

saying like he gave up his basketball career Oh, 17 again. 17 again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want to have a situation like that do you know what I mean? Yeah, so.

But she's not, she's let him go. No, that's what she's saying. Is she feeling the village? no she said she's feeling like is she the villain for feeling like um no for wanting him oh yes yes we're there for wanting him for not wanting him to pursue his dreams oh yeah i don't think you're the villain at all i think that is such a normal feeling to have it's it's understand to like it's it's normal to want to be around someone but then i do think that you should want someone to fulfill their dreams though no but i like i think so what i think is i don't think you're the

villain at all for being in love with this person for seven years this is a seven year relationship obviously you want this person and you want it to work out and the fact that he's ended it that is so hurtful and you're just like yeah oh god and she they can't do long distance so i don't think you are the villain in my opinion at all i think that is such a normal response to have i think when you love someone you obviously want them to pursue their dreams and you want them to do really well um seven years is a long time yeah it's a long time so i think that's completely normal to feel that way like if honestly if it was me i would feel the exact same yeah so but like when you love someone obviously i imagine that you still want him to do well but you're just hurt that it's a seven year relationship that

is now ended and you want your more mourning this relationship and i think that's where this feeling is stemming from. So don't beat yourself off about it. I think that's completely normal. What you need to do now is if it helps, and this did help me years ago and a psychic actually was saying, she was like, oh, you're like your soul ties about this guy and he was moving to America. And then basically, she was like, you will find your way back. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Like sometimes you need to just have that break of him moving abroad, you doing your own thing. And then if it's meant to be, you'll come back to each other and I think that isn't sometimes that is comforting to think about rather than thinking it's ended it'll never happen again don't say that because you don't know

you may end up coming back to each other and I've actually seen this happen with some friends where their partners moved abroad for work and then in a few months time six months time a year's time two years time down the road you'll rekindle potentially and then you could end up moving there things may not work for out for him he could end up moving back here you just don't know the future holds yeah but i think for now i think it's more it's like really important that you just kind of like be easy on yourself because going through a breakup is so difficult like it is very very hard and my heart goes out here i hope that you're all right i hope that you are spending all of the time with your loved ones and really trying to navigate life again kind

of as an individual because i know that when you're intertwined lives it can be very very crushing when you're not like living your life with that person it genuinely feels like you've lost a limb so I think just really trying to rediscover who you are again like rediscover who you are not in the relationship like your hobbies and things like that making sure that you are and do you know what it's it's very much okay to be feeling very distraught after a breakup as well like it's really really difficult so I definitely think just give yourself a lot of grace give yourself a lot of time you aren't the villain for mourning and like not wanting someone to go a certain way because you want to be with them and you love them so much like you're not the

villain at all but I do definitely think that like holding someone back from something that they really actively want to pursue is just not going to turn out well because why would you want to convince someone to choose you and stay with you yeah do you know what i mean like you don't want to convince anyone of that like they should want to do that off their own back um 100 and yeah i think like take this as kind of take this as like a a learning like a rediscovering yourself do you know what i mean like learn how to rediscover yourself and go out with your friends like spend time with family travel yourself yeah a lot of people are find it so hard like after a breakup i mean i've never been in a seven year relationship

yeah fair from it but i've seen it with so many people when they're so i don't know if you were like co-dependent on each other i don't know the extent of what your relationship was obviously but like trying to discover doing things by yourself it's hard but try and do little date days as i said in previous episodes get that odian pass girl and take some cinema solo dates and just like discover what you like doing yourself learning to be um in your own company is like so freeing beyond belief because when you see these people that are jumping from relationship to relationship to relationship to relationship that terrifies me because i just think you are terrified to be on your own yeah because you're terrified sit on your own with your own thoughts and it's like

why what is eating you up inside why are you not like why are you not sitting down and going right this is what's going on inside me mind and I need to reshape my mind instead you just jump in from relationship to relationship and you just don't even know who you are at this point but that's it identity list like that's a word person who you know I knew was literally

I knew her for years she was never not in a relationship and they were all like jump jump jump jump jump jump jump jump and next one three months later two weeks oh yeah yeah yeah yeah you haven't even gave yourself time to really process it and then that tells me that you're desperate

that tells me that you're a desperate person you're desperate to be chosen you're desperate to be loved but it is like terrifying when because you lose yourself if you are doing that you need to sit with yourself don't know who you are yeah you don't know who you are so I think like sit with yourself like I'm the opposite

where I'm extremely comfortable with myself where I can't be fucked to give someone my time which I'm the opposite end which obviously isn't good either say I've went through that stage where I was jumping from relationship to a relationship like I went through it because it's like you know you'd break up with one and then you'd meet another then you'd get the oxytocin again and you just keep meeting her and then going forward meeting going forward but then I realised I was just like this is just like not not it

this is not it and I also need to kind of rediscover who I actually am on my own without like being in a relationship all the time and guess what? guess what happens when you do that? You actually have like a little bit of a less tolerance for human beings and bullshit and toxic relationships and toxic dynamics and things like that because you start to realize how peaceful it actually is to be on your own when you when your source of validation and self-love comes from within. So then you aren't externally looking for it. So then what happens is all these toxic people, all these people who are manipulative, all these people who just don't prioritize it, all these people who, you know, just do shitty things or make you feel bad or have you feeling

like not worth it or whatever, they don't seem appealing anymore. Yeah, absolutely. In fact, it's like, uh-uh, bye-bye. You just don't have time for it and it actually, it's like a switch. Like, it's mad, like, like, it's like a switch in the brain because like probably in the last like year I've had this switch and it's absolutely, it's so riveting to just be like, I can't be fucked to deal with you. like I actually can't

and you just cut people off and he just like even people on fucking hinge and shit and Rea like how they write to me if they say the littlest thing where I'm like I honestly I'm not dealing with that I'm like block delete block

because I know exactly what I want now I'm comfortable with knowing like I can sniff it the bullshit yeah like sniff it out and especially when I see like friends dating fellas a lot of it as well when I'm not personally in it fucking hell

it's like they've got eagle eyes and this is another tip for years as well right if they are wanting it to be really really quick if they're trying to move really quickly and they're not actually trying to get to know you and understand you it's actually driven from lust and because why is it that people are like

oh my God I love you so much listen I do love a love bomb I'm very susceptible to a love bomb because it feels good but at the same time it's always driven from lost and then it just ends up not working out or it ends up becoming toxic, do you know what I mean? That you have to say if it actually is like you have to say if you're actually compatible, do you know what I mean? But I feel like we've spiraled off anyways, but I personally don't

think you're the villain at all. You're going through something difficult. Of course. And you're mourning a relationship, a seven year relationship, you know, so I don't think you're the villain at all, honey. I think go through the motions, keep yourself busy. That is such a thing feel the emotions have cry to the fucking to the moon keep crying keep crying but keep yourself so busy every day do something see someone go on walks yeah make sure you don't spiral and like don't spiral get into a thing where you're just constantly upset constantly thinking about it like yes you have to think about it you have to mourn it and things like that but also you have to have a very healthy amount of really trying to get yourself out there and spend time

with your friends yeah but that's it for this episode we hope you enjoyed it Thank you so much again for sending in all of your dilemmas. Yeah, I'm either villains and your red flag green flags. We thoroughly enjoy. I'm going to shower my tan off, which has been on for the last two fucking days. Yeah. And my hair, you could fry an egg on it. So I can't like to scrub myself.

That's my plan now. Of course. And sending all of your emails, like we get them through the email. So it's on the podcast page and the DMs as well. We've got a few on the DMs. So make sure you DM us, email us, and let's unpick this. shit for you. All right. Let's something

a lovely leaves. Your agony answer here so we will see you. Well actually we might be taking a little break. Yes, we might have a couple of weeks break just because I'm up in Newcastle. There's a lot of work coming up but we'll be back in the next like two, three weeks won't be long. So this is season

one. And go follow us on TikTok. We'll be rambling over there anyways man. We'll be all over TikTok and Instagram so yeah, shoot us follow if you don't already and we will talk to you soon. Bye bye.