Wild2Mild Podcast - Ep 19. No One Taught Me About Sex - Now What?

Episode Date: November 23, 2025

Email us 💕In this week’s episode of Wild 2 Mild, Nicole opens up about re-entering the dating scene, while Bethan breaks down the balance between masculine and feminine energy when you’re putting yourself out there. The girls also dive into Kim Kardashian’s latest acting venture and the harsh reviews of All’s Fair - is the internet determined to cancel everything Kim does?Bethan shares why she stepped away from social media for a few weeks and how the break completely shifted her mindset.This week’s listener dilemma comes from someone navigating intimacy after trauma. She never got “the talk" growing up and now feels she has to mentally prepare for sexual contact. She asks how to take the pressure off and embrace sex with confidence and the girls offer heartfelt guidance on stepping into sexual liberation with compassion and ease.

Welcome to the Wild Amal podcast with me, your host Beth and K Show. And me, your host, Nicole O'Brien. We're missed you. We missed yeah. Oh my goodness. We've got so much to catch up on. I know. We've got so much. We've got so much to talk about. A lot's gone on in a short space of time. I know, I know, I know. But first thing, first, I need it. No.

What's going on? So Nicole's back, what? You tell them. I'm back on the dating scene, lads. And honestly, I can't even believe it myself. Yeah. It's actually a bit wild. I know. So I didn't go on dates. I think the last time I went on a date, was probably nine months ago and that was with someone who I was dating four years ago. I haven't been on a date with someone new. I can't remember this one. Oh yes, yes, yes. I haven't been on a date with someone new in so long like over a year and a bit. So I was shitting myself going on this date. All the girls were like, okay, you need to like listen to like Rihanna

music like get yourself pumped up and I'm so scared going on this date. And then he was a bit late to the date but I mean we'll leave him off. How late? Fifteen minutes. But there was train strikes so I was like we'll leave him off. Right. Well, date went really well. Like we went to loads of Irish pubs and come here put me in an Irish pub. It's a moth to a flame. Right. I ain't leave until the doors are shutting. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Give me Guinness. You know what I mean? Like I'm the definition of someone who loves an Irish pub. So, but like he brought me like, I did ask him. I was like, do you think like I'm high maintenance or something? Because he, like, but I love nice places and I also love like cozy pubs I love both and you're the same

yeah yeah yeah mix yeah first place was like a really nice cocktail bear okay yeah how much did you go short ditch oh gone oh yeah yeah yeah so it was fun I don't go out in shorts at all so that went well and then we went on like another date and another date's going well and but how many dates did you do three four we've been on four dates oh my god you're really getting in the date I know like guys like I'm back in the dating scene and uh But yeah, I don't know what the story is. I mean, yeah, I won't die, but he's a very private person. Who cares?

No. I'm joking. I'm just kidding. I feel like he's out of a long-term relationship and whatnot. Oh, yeah, because he was like out of a long term. I think it was like three months or something, wasn't it? Yeah, quite, quite recent, which, I mean, people look at that as a red flag and a green flag. You also can't help that, you know what I mean?

It's nothing he can help. Yeah, but equally three months. And how long was he with her? A long, long. long long long long time a decade over right so I personally think that that's a red flag because you do not get out of a relationship of a decade and then meet someone else like meet someone else unless it's like just for fun yes but you're not looking for phone I'm not looking for phone but that's where I think his mind could be at I don't I don't know I mean I don't know

this man enough to but I did lads I'm when I hit my 30s in July it's like a switch has gone off in my head okay like when I tell you I am setting the fucking boundaries. So on the first date, second day, whatever, I'm pretty sure he scared me. Because I told him, I was like, oh, just to let you know, like, what did I say to him?

Oh, I gave out the fact that he was late because he was being late to all the dates. But he kind of took accountability on that. I also gave out to him, not gave out to him, but I just made it known that I hate really slow texters. So like one text a day doesn't do it for me.

And then he up the game and that was all fine. But, but, you know what? sometimes I think sometimes I think it's a bit of a performance from them yeah because like I think sometimes you have to let people do what they want to do so you can know what they really want to do yeah I mean it's a one of it but depends yeah like I think yeah I basically just set exactly what I was looking for I told him I want to be in my feminine energy I want someone in their masculine energy to plan shit because I'm always in my masculine energy but what we do I

feel like we we always are in the masculine energy yeah I think that as well but then I also think that like it's very kind of um i always used to think oh i want to be in my feminine energy because i want to just be like oh ditty like you know like floating about just like feeling like really free and thingy in life but then i feel like masculine is almost like people make that out as if it's a male trait but i think that deep down that's kind of like rooted in a sense of like it kind of comes from like you know how everything's like on online at the moment everyone's like oh i just want to be a stay-at-home wife i want to just cute cute and clean no i don't want to do that but but it kind of goes along them same things of like i don't want to work no it's not phrasing it wrong

it's like it's kind of like oh i don't want to think about planning things i don't want to do this but then equally that's kind of like when you think if that is masculine then you're kind of making it is a bad thing but I think it can be a really good thing the fact that you're so capable of doing the planning but equally if you want someone who can help along with a planning yeah yeah that's exactly but it's actually it's actually really good to be in your masculine energy because that shows that you've got because like masculine traits it's not about like male and female it's about like certain energies yeah you're right so obviously feminine energy is more like creative energy yeah yeah and then masculine energy is more like assertive and action energy yeah

I'm sick of being like action action action I want someone to do it for me yeah not to do it for me but also just like maybe more of a 50 50 yeah I think that's the problem where it lies is it's like you're overcompensating all of the time when you're dating and that's why you're frustrated but I don't think it's about you not wanting to plan things ever yeah I think it's about you want to get the energy reciprocated yeah are you my therapist I am no but okay yeah that's a bit yeah that's exactly that makes sense yeah 100% but anyway so I don't know what the story is with that situation but um so you said so you said from I want you to plan more shit yeah yeah yeah and um yeah so I I do know where that's that situation is gonna go anyway but I am back in the date and seen I

am talking to another guy and he's bringing me on a date next week oh yeah she's planning she showed us this one he's really good looking to her and the conversation is conversationing yeah novels yeah we're only talking like a fucking day like like it's insane so yeah i love a novel like spill everything out just get get your personality out on paper now because i'm sick of all these people like with no personality no personality like hook a personality to my veins that's what i want yeah like and if you're also like good-looking like fucking hell like marry me yeah so this guy's like planning the whole day he was like oh just tell me what kind of food you don't like and i'll leave everything to me that's you know what

you asked for the universe then the universe provided so i think the universe sometimes i think stop asking the men what you want and just ask the universe and then the universe will put the right man in front you and I think because I'm so certain of what I want in someone now like I think the universe is bringing me the right people yeah do you know what I mean I mean I hope I hope and also

do you know what I was actually thinking because obviously you know when you were saying oh wait what did you say oh shit I've lost me I've lost me train of thought shit oh god wait you what was he fuck mad let's move on let's move on I've got to forget and I'm going to end up just sitting there

it'll come back to you yeah it'll come back sorry can we actually just touch on a little bit of pop culture for a second go on have you watched kim karashun's new series all's fair all is fair all's fair all's fair yeah i think that's what it's called it is it's gotten zero percent on rotten tomatoes what does that mean that means like like so rotten tomatoes like for a really good movie they'll give it maybe 70 percent like that's what you go off when you're rating series and movies off what the reviews are on rotten tomatoes right right right it's got zero percent and I've been so excited to watch this but they are saying zero zero not even one percent shirley what you're telling me that every single person that watched it said no it's like a

reviewing company and they gave it zero zero also it's a group of people who decide this is a good movie yeah yeah yeah so that's even still though because that it might be a bad movie to them but then some people might like oh yeah because like I mean like there's been ones that I've been like 30% on rotten tomatoes what I've loved but they're saying everyone is saying that poor Kim Kardashian is like watching a five year old act in like a school play oh they just love to drag her they do you know what the love to drag women in the industry it's like get a hobby oh I know a hobby now like constantly slagging people off constantly dragging women on the internet like literally get a life it's mad like it's like that woman has conquered everything she's getting her

fucking law degree. She's entrepreneurial. She's still getting shit. I know. I know. There's always going to be people that are like, well, you know, she's, I don't know, she's not fucking, with her kids as motor, whatever the fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always. And, like, oh, I need to watch it. But I have seen clips and I

thought she was, she was grand. Like, she's not an actress, but I really judge her American Horror Story. I've seen it. Yeah. I thought she was unreal in that. Okay. But like, apparently she was dating someone or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something. like that. Oh, was that one? Are you breaking up with me?

Okay. Yes, that was it. Yeah. It was a TikTok trend. That's the only way that I knew that. But I've never actually watched it. Yeah, so, yeah,

poor Kim Kay is getting fucking dragged through with life. Fucking always. Always the women? I don't know. It is not like. Oh my God, I've got it. This is a totally random thing

that I was thinking and I've really wanted to have this conversation. Now, this was very outdated info, their conversation. This is about Ariana Grande and that lad. Who's that lad? Who's just flip? who she filmed with for Wicked

and the lad she had and the wife and the, yes, yes, yes. My question, because this is what, I was sitting thinking about it, right? She got absolutely dragged on the internet. Listen, morals, not there. Morality wasn't there for her. She'd done a bad thing

for her own moral compass. It shouldn't happen. But why did she get dragged the way that she did when he is the one with a wife? Yeah. He is the one with the baby on the way. Yeah. he is the one that had his family and then and then it made us think like

Ariana brought out what was already in him yeah so could have been any woman it could be any woman and then it kind of got us thinking like it's either in you or it isn't yeah and it was in him and thank God the wife found out that that was in him because I think personally for me what I think is and this is I think where a lot of the kind of like cognitive dissonance comes in when it comes to people cheating and things like that because people want to like not cognitive that's not the right word cognitive dissonance but people want to basically like know if someone's cheating or not but people don't want to have that cake and eat it they don't want to be honest and people can be like

oh like and they don't want to be honest about it but like what you said there about like it's either in you or it's not that's so true because I feel like we would never I think I would die with like the guilt and the feeling listen to this right I actually was saying someone once and I oh my god

this when I was in school oh my god this was so bad you know and I was ill this is the definition of like girlhood because I'm just about to be like come here

you were young that's right oh I know you were literally a child you were literally about 12 if this is a man I'd be like yeah see

see starts early oh my god no but literally right so there was I was seeing this person and it's so crazy because like when I So this is when MSN was a thing.

Oh, yeah. So I was dating, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. But, but, well, it didn't is still. It's not. Nah, but, um, so basically I was saying this person and then, um, he, so I was doing him, and I used to really enjoy, like, MSN and him. Oh, yeah, yeah. But when I used to say him in person, like, we just didn't have the same energy.

It was so weird. Like, on MSN, he was lovely in person. He was a bit of a cun. Like, he was just a bit evil to his. Like, he was just, like, he was just, just like I don't know like he just wasn't he deserved just so is that what you're saying no it wasn't that he deserved it but like you just the energy no the energy was completely different like he would kind of bully us a little bit you know like I don't know yeah but when you're young

yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean yeah but they shouldn't do that and they shouldn't be teaching kids that because that's not normal behavior I know I know that's abuse yeah anyway so and then there was another guy that I was like in love with as well and this one he never really used to be at school he was a bit of a bad boy and he came into school and I don't know I think he was only in school

for like a few weeks or whatever but we'd do the bit of flirting texting all of that and then we walked home together he now oh literally want to die still at this year I'm so sorry if you're listening I'm really I'm sorry

I wish I never did it and it really keeps us up now still 10 20 years later right so basically walked home from school and obviously we were just like chilling like flirting like flirt and I can't even remember what the conversation was.

Anyways, he was just like, oh, come yeah, and then, like, we didn't kiss anything, but I did have my arms around. He fingers you. No, I did have me, off, then of mine were literally on a fucking field, right? I had my arms around his neck

and we weren't gonna, we might have kissed, my ex, right? No, no, listen, he had, like, detention, I think it was called or, like, where you stay back for an extra hour. Yeah, detention. He only walked around the fucking corner.

No, and he went. Did you die? Nice. Yeah, of course, I did. I literally died, dropped on there. Then I was actually grounded at the time. This is how much this other lad has wrapped around the finger. I was besotted by this other one.

And so... The one from the field. The one from the field, the bad boy, right? There were all bad boys, but he was never in school. So anyways, this one had just really wrapped around the finger. And I was grounded, and I was meant to go home, and I was actually going to be ungrounded that weekend if I was getting home straight away and, like, being a good girl.

I still stayed out late. And then my dad literally came and he was like, get in this fucking car! For another four seven years. I was like, no,

that's not. And do you know that that interaction, even though I didn't physically cheat, it still keeps us up and I think and like, how could you do something like that? Well, that just proves that you're such a loyal,

lovely person. But that can't be true because I wasn't loyal at the time. You didn't kiss him. And also, you were young and also the fact that this still keeps you up at night.

It makes us feel like, all of the things like especially like say when I've been like drunk and I've just done magic like I still think about these things I'm like what is actually wrong with this like there's something really wrong with you know this so do you know Anne Marie the singer uh-huh so I watched a documentary about her a few times and she literally said that when she was in school she had a boyfriend uh-huh she kissed this other fella uh-huh and then she was like bullied for it oh and um she said to this day it actually gets her so upset that she did that yeah but it's like I think personally that that just shows that you have a conscience

and that you're a nice person. Yeah, but me conscience, I wish I sometimes didn't have one because, like, the only thing it's doing now is ruining my life because I bet these people have moved on they're fucking married with kids that, they're really living their life, right?

And there's me sitting there in bed like that. Why did I do that? No, don't be silly. We all do stupid shit when we're younger. Do you know what I mean? This is MSN time. Yeah. Ages ago.

I know, but this is what I mean. I see that in your, it's not. Yeah. And obviously it was in me. the time at the time yeah you were young yeah this is the definition of girlhood you're fine honey

it's been a few little instances like that though like I've been like this close yeah but you like so it's fine I know but there's been a couple of instances as well as this close so then I do think it might be there it is no because all of the times as well it's always

been interrupted oh really yes it's been like interrupted so say if I went on a night out or whatever and I was dating someone I was at like a house party or whatever it was a bit like you know a bit flirty as juicy no kisses nothing yeah but that's fine you never know if i'd stayed there an extra hour you never know he could i don't i don't think you would i honestly don't and i feel like i remember one time i was having a panic attack

at the window i was literally having a panicked at a and obviously and then the people in the but i think actually this might have been a different time this might have been a different night out but i remember i was having a panic attack out at the window i basically couldn't read me airwaves more completely clothes and all like she has everyone fucking sniggering and giggling. What? I know. It's like an after party. You have to remember like Jesus. Like the first time we met was five years ago

and you've changed so much. Like can you imagine how much you've changed since you were younger? Like come on now. Come on. I know. You're perfect. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Wait. Honestly. I don't need anyone in my life of horror on you. It's just fine. I don't need anyone else. Thank God we be chagler.

So funny. Oh my God. Guys. So all random. but like do you like my eye shadow because I've actually done something different with it yeah for the people who can see the video oh yeah for the people who can say so basically it's like a bluey silvery I did want to do like a very kind of is it like a 90s

with a silvery vibe yeah it's all coming back it's is it yeah 90s makeup I don't know I'm actually not on social media sure do you remember in Abu Dhabi when we went to Abu Dhabi ages go I shaved off my fucking eyebrows oh my gosh eyebrows literally they were like

thread they were so fucking thin and like I like plucked them all because I thought let's just go for the 90s look yeah and then when they started growing back I was like fucking haggard all right like they were growing further up my to my hair aligned oh my god I swear to go to get them done there last week that is so funny um yes I've got basically gray eyeshadow on with like a bit of glitter it's very like 90s come back but I've came off social media oh she's come off the social media I've came off social media that's fucking that's unbelievable for you I can't believe in the last episode you're talking about the app.

Yeah, because I have the opus, the opus app, right? For me, because obviously there's a few different, like, settings on the opus where you can basically have, like, a couple of seconds. Not opus. That opus is the thing that we use for much. Opal. Opal. Opal. Opal. Yes. So basically, um, yeah, so I, um, there's a couple of, like, settings where you've got a couple of buffers. So, like, it'll be, like, six seconds the first one and then if you want to make it a bit hard it'll be like 20 seconds and then it'll

double in all of this or whatever and for me that wasn't just feasible because especially when I'm working and stuff if I want to post content it was just not a thing because I'm sat there for fucking three minutes waiting for me I'm just sat there twiddling my thumbs like that waiting for the app to be allowed to download again um so I just deleted that I just deleted them and I'm thinking I'll go back on I'm going to have a 30 day detox full 30. days of just coming off. I've got a little bit of content that I've got ready to post and I'm going to use a

scheduling, like a social media scheduling app to schedule my posts instead of... What? Maybe I should do that. I just feel like... Yeah, I'm sick. I want my attention from back. I want me to... I feel like I'm getting really

dumber as the days gone. Like I feel myself getting thicker and thicker and like just in conversation. I feel like I call... I have got very good memory recall so like and I've never really had good memory recall anyways but when I'm trying to like say certain words and when I'm trying to communicate or like speak I actually don't have the vocabulary

to express what I'm feeling yeah I think honestly the scrolling just fucking sends me under like when was it last week I've spent five hours scrolling because I was hung over in bed and then it just made me more shit yeah so maybe I need to get that app as well I actually just fucking delete the apps and then just schedule the stuff yeah um it is good and i just i feel like as well and also i get like creative burnout but i feel like i get like too much input and i'm like i don't actually know what i want to post anymore

yeah because there's so much there's so much going on this random stuff you're saving all the trends you're saving all the things you're doing all the transitions and i remember people always used to tag us on ticot for like what transitions to do like i used to get tags all the time like people always used to be like Beth and you need to do this you need to do that and and then like now I'm like right so now I'm like looking for transitions all the time as well and I'm like saving the doubt but then I don't get to do them because like once I've fucking sat there for three hours scrolling I'm like oh I know like and then once I actually do me makeup now like this is like a job in itself you know what I mean once I've done me makeup and I'm like right

I'm done yeah I'm fucking done I actually haven't got the energy to do the transitions I know I don't know if this is an age thing yeah but I also just think like when you're like when you're off social media because when you're on it you're like obviously saving all these transitions but like that's not original content like your brain can't think of all this original stuff because you're just consuming so much

exactly and you need to get off it and then your clarity your mental clarity because then that I'm actually going to post things that I want to pose rather than like what's trending exactly because like don't get wrong I love jumping on a trend I love it I love the trending transitions and stuff like that but I just think there's too much input of that

minute to the point where like even when I'm not doing transitions I'm sat there going what can I film like like what can I do what can I film like what and normally I remember like I used to do like daily vlogs going and get my nails done like I used to take loads of photos I used to literally get dressed up just to take photos like and I just feel like the spark and the excitement and the creativity from social media has is just not there right now I think we've just been doing it for so long as well and I think times have changed we've gotten older I think we like for me anyway obviously I love doing social media and all that but like I am really into just like friends family wellness just my mental well-being and if like social media isn't serving me I won't be on

that much yeah obviously I'm scrolling and whatnot yeah which I like I do scroll but not as much as I used to yeah I know apart from the five hours there last week like but like I used to be on it like five there was a day constantly like even like when I was thinking like even just like sitting on the train on your own or sitting on the bus or getting in an Uber or waiting in the shop or waiting in the queue in the line you're scrolling like every single opportunity that you get to get on your phone and scroll and just fill that void of boredom it's used and then I started to be more conscious about it and I feel like I've been very conscious for a long time on it but I just feel like I haven't been able to actually do it.

it because I'm just so addicted to me phone to the point where I'm like this is scary and why is nobody else worried how how scary this is like these are billions and billions of pounds tech technology these are to keep you on the app and they're literally wasting your fucking precious life away we literally we spoke about this I think about about about every fucking episode haven't we but it is so true about it right now it is so true though 100% yeah um come here we have we have an email which i haven't read bethens purposely not showed it to me because she wants to see my reaction yeah i'm terrified of what this may be it is i'm not gonna lie i was i was gobsmatched oh my god no no like i literally i couldn't even verbalize because i totally

understood what you meant but i couldn't even verbalize a response at the time i've had to sit and think about this response so i'll be fucking mute for the next 20 minutes right no it's it is it's like a And it's something that people don't verbalise. It's not a conversation that I've ever actually heard out loud, I don't think. Oh, God. What is it? I'm scared. Right, right, right.

Okay, so, hi, angels. And they gave for a bit of background as well because we've been asking for background. So love, thank you, love. Okay, a bit of background. I'm 25 and I'm married. I started dating my now husband when I was 17. Okay. I have one daughter, a full term stillborn, and currently trying to conceive again.

I went to a Catholic high school and have been sexually active since I was 14 and I have ODHD which is autism and ADHD together sex makes us so uncomfortable not physically but talking about it

thinking about it watching it on movies even bringing myself to have sex it's like I have to mentally prepare myself for sex I've never had the talk and was never educated about sex so I literally have no idea idea. I do have some sexual assault trauma from when I was a teenager, but I didn't feel,

but I didn't start feeling, oh my God, I can't read. Sorry, I'm so, every episode. Sorry, I'm so, this is what I'm saying. Me attention spans gone. I can't even read. Right. So, um, I do have some sexual assault trauma from when I was a teenager, but didn't start feeling uncomfortable until I was about 20-ish. My friend said that a vibrate, I would change my sex life, I'm clueless on how to use one or what and how to buy it or incorporate it into sex. I've spoken to my husband about it and he is so accommodating.

I've said we need to be more intimate and affectionate without having to end all the time in sex. So I can start to become more comfortable with sexual touching, feeling without feeling like pressured to have sex in brackets. The pressure comes from within me, not my husband, but have you got any advice, thanks. you thought I wouldn't resonate with this I don't know I said maybe you will

I said maybe you will but I thought like it was a lot it's a lot like it's a lot verbalized isn't it that is insane because so I went to a Catholic school okay run by nuns okay okay so so it's very religious is a taboo subject at home it is because it's almost moralised

isn't it? It's like it's morally wrong to have sex if you're not married yeah yeah yeah so like yeah so I get this because to this day if even lads like even when I'm home and we're all watching family movies and there's like

a kissing scene or a sex scene it is so uncomfortable but for me for no one else but you don't know if it's just for you though it could be for everyone else but growing up I'm the eldest and it was like I think growing up in like such a Catholic school

like I never talked to my parents about like really dating and stuff like that and my younger sisters obviously do and stuff but I think because I was the eldest grew up in like a Catholic, very Catholic environment and it was always a taboo subject at school so I think it was like instilled in me that like it took me years to kind of get like

I didn't lose my virginity until I was fucking old like and have sex uh 20 20 or no as in 20 or 21 was I not old though but it's old in this space in the thing of like when you're younger. No, I think it was 20 because I was so terrified to have sex All my friends had But I was terrified

Because it was such a taboo thing Can I tell you one secret And I don't know if I've had Maybe I have told you this But do you know that I So you know when you like Obviously first have sex with someone Yeah

And like you can go and have sex with them Like sober Yeah Like if you meet them And you'd never actually done that Until I was 29 With anyone Even like previous boyfriends

The first time I'd ever slept with them at being drunk first time Oh sir are we talking about first times only just like yeah so like say for instance say if you start dating someone

I've never done that have you not I've never had sex in the first time being sober I've had sex sober yeah but first time never

is it but do you don't think that that's weird I think that we should be having sex sober I think we should be feeling comfortable enough to have sex sober and I think the reason

why you have sex when you've had a drink is because obviously you're nervous yeah see that's it maybe you're just don't actually feel as comfortable as what you want to feel because when I had sex with this guy when I was sober I was ready like yeah yeah you were just out of celibacy yeah and I was just like

yeah and I felt so like emotionally safe with that person yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean and I think that you should feel like that yeah you should that's that's that's so interesting because I've never did it spiral down this is spiral down from hookup culture yeah this is spiral down sorry now we're making this all about ourselves like and you got the whole dilemma but that is interesting it's like a thought that just kind of popped in my head there fuck now I've actually never thought about that the fact that I've never had

sex the first time sober but anyway going back to your dilemma I resonate with this because I feel like growing up in that sort of environment yeah I think definitely get a vibrator yeah and you don't you don't want a deal too

not yet not yet don't stop you need this start with a little vibrate or like a little kind of kind of like a lipsticky one like a just small one you can get them from an somers yeah and even if you ask the woman at the desk you know she'll tell you but that i would just do it online i wouldn't put yourself through that if you're struggling already i get it just get one online you all say i'm very open book when it comes to things like that i would happily open no see i would have you tried any of these and which is the rest i wouldn't really i'm i'm very much an open book but that i would draw the line at right but you know what's

so interesting it's like then like sorry now to bring it back to the story but like then when I started like getting more sexually active and whatever like then obviously I was like dating so much when I came to London not sleeping with everyone obviously but I was like just getting myself out there and then obviously I got cast on the show and whatnot and like then I just felt liberated it's like when you kind of I don't know if practice is the right word but just kind of get yourself out there more I mean, you can't because you're married, obviously. Right. Yeah, exactly.

So the vibrator. Yeah. Let's just talk about that. But I think that might be what it is. I think, but then again, I feel like if you with, well, first of all, right, let's just have a little touch on the OTH, right? Because for me, straight away, I thought sensory issues and like over-stimulation and like not being able to control and manage your emotions, like, as well as like, maybe neural

typical people because that's what I think like so then I'm thinking she's deep in it and she's like worrying and she's kind of like getting over simulated so like for her I feel like it would probably probably feel a lot more intense maybe yeah you're actually so right especially if you're nervous and your body's kind of being like and also it kind of gives very like if you've got sexual listen I just want to say it right now I'm not a therapist I neither I I haven't got a clue what fucking talking about but this is just where my brain is and I do I like I love delving into these topics these are my fucking jam but if you need professional help go to the doctor and they're very very good I recently went to my doctor to put us on anxiety medication I'm literally

living my best life so please go to your doctors please please please and they are there to help you yeah I agree therapist doctors so co-opaths or whatever so psychopaths not what's the course what they're called what the cold psychologists like psychologists yeah psychology

anything you want right yeah go to them because they are the professionals they're doing it for years now this is just it's probably just fucking I don't know

something I've picked up on TikTok right yeah yeah so I think that that should be the disclaimer for both of us in every single episode we're gonna actually do

a disclaim as for you because sometimes I do talk like I'm a professional No, I know. I know. I don't know why I do that. I actually, I don't know why I do that. I actually do talk as if I know. But I think it's because I come from experience. Yeah, you do. I talk from experience. That's why. I'm sorry, what was the last bit of her message? So it was the essay, right? So the, another thing as well for the sexual assault when she was younger. Yes. So I resonate on that as well because there's been times where I've experienced and things that I didn't even realize what class is sexual assault. And I think when you start to get more knowledge on it and you start to be like, actually that's wrong because when you're younger, obviously, like, you're still figuring out what's right and wrong.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And I think like, especially under the age of like 25, even then you're still so young. And I feel like people make it out as if anyone under 25 is like not still really young in their mind. And yes, you can go through loads of things and you can experience loads of things,

but you've still you're still young at the end of the day and then I think also like background and like how you brought up and who you are around all these different things come into play yeah yeah so when you get a bit older that's when especially when you start

to get a bit feel a bit safer in your body because then you can start to remember certain things because that's what I notice like obviously when I used to film when I was on TV and all this stuff I was fine I was live life over the life I was partying I was drinking and I was this

I was that I was definitely in my fight of flight I was always arguing I was always like you fucking not telling me there

me me and that's like I recognise now that I was so in my fight of flight and I was in protection mode I was like

because I had a very kind of like like me my family and me like brothers and sisters as it was like one of their household

always arguing walking on eggshell kind of vibes so I mean like everyone's fucking tired from work everyone's tired from school

everyone's fucking down each other's just the normal house all right and it was just normalized wasn't it what and it was normalized yeah so i i was already in a state of like a fight of flight and constantly happen to like fight yeah you know what i mean not physical fight but like verbal yeah yeah so when you get a bit old and you start to feel a little bit safe and you start to get a bit more information and you start to like you know meet people who are a little bit like you know a bit more common to the nervous system, I feel like you start remembering more things. Yeah, you do. When I stopped drinking, right, like, because obviously I used to party, I was a party girl, you know, I used to be on TV party and all this. When I stopped drinking,

right, and I had done a cold turkey stop as well, because I just knew in my body and my heart and soul it was not right for us. It was really setting us down a dark path. When I stopped drinking, I had the worst kind of like withdrawal, it felt. I felt like anxiety and depression times 10 and then I was getting all these awful memories just flooding constantly yeah and it was so quick so I do feel like that's anyways I've spiraled off there sorry I was yeah you went cold turkey and yeah I think so I feel like that might be why you're thinking about like them things where you start to feel your body remembers if you've got if you need to go tell you what read the body holds the score and that'll literally it'll delve in like how you might not remember certain things that

happen in your life because our brain is constantly flushing out memories and trying to keep the most important things for survival. I need to read that book. Body keeps the score by Bessel van someone right and it basically talks about how like your body it's stored in like your body and it's stored in like your reactions and your responses and stuff and basically everything the way that you react is based a lot of it's kind of conditioned. Yeah. Do you know I mean? Yeah. But I feel like that would be a good place to start for you to kind of understand your own body. You know what I mean? Good advice. Yeah, I think talk to a professional. Get a vibrator. Yes, get a vibrator. Everybody holds the score. I think, yeah. But we both, it's so funny how we both resonate in different aspects of that. Yeah, different ways. Yeah. So we're here for you.

Send in another email. Let us know how you're getting on. Yeah, let us know how you get on. Update us. You can't update one, the vibrate after what. Yeah. You can't do that. Let us know. let me know which one I'll give you some little links if you want Oh yeah Love honey Yeah love honey Do you know that one with the really skinny tip

It's like blue It's like turquoise Oh That is the best thing I fuck I forget the name of it I didn't add for them years ago And it was for that It

You will never look back It is unbelievable Oh my god I don't know But you know what ones is really good As well The one from Anne Somers Have some very very good

Very good ones I've tried loads I've tried loads I've tried nearly every single one Right And some as in love honey And some as in love honey If you actually give us a personal DM

Or you can message the Maybe if you DM the podcast page We'll send you some links Yeah And then you don't have to worry About it'll be sending Yeah We're sending the viewers have fucking vibrating

Do you know what? No girlhood This is what we do We'll help each other out Because over here We are not demonising Women's Sexual Liberation We're not doing it

it's part of the patriarchy we're getting rid of that shit all right high-fived that you you see me up pussy love

right pussy palace the words of Lily Island anyway right we are going to leave it there yes we shall we will see you in next week's episode thank you for tuning in

and make sure you like please like the YouTube please follow us on YouTube as well because we're trying to get to 500 subscribe us and we're already at like 325 or maybe 300 what a sleigh.

Yeah, so slay, we're nearly there. We're nearly there. So we love you. And also as well, there's a few people that kind of mentioned that they've got anxiety and this is the reason why they listen to the podcast. And we just want to say, I'm going to cry. I'm going to cry. Right.

Thank you so much for tuning in. Yes. But please, my advice to you, because I'm on anxiety medication now, please, please, please go and say the doctor because I wish I got on this anxiety medication so much sooner. And I feel like it would have actually prevented it from. spiraling as much as it has and I know medication stuff for everyone

this is this but if you're open to it have an open mind and just try it because it's being revolutionary from it like internally and I wish I'd done it five years ago I really do I know I know but we love you like follow subscribe to your

dilemmas your dilemmas yes or email email or DM DM might be easier though because a lot of people DM yeah wildem podcast at gmail dot com is the email yes yes yes and um our podcast you can find it in our bios on our instagram page we love you love you bye bye