Wild2Mild Podcast - Ep. 4 Nicole's date kisses Bethan, love-bombing & delulu dating energy 🌹

Episode Date: July 20, 2025

Send us a textIn this episode of Wild 2 Mild, Bethan Kershaw and Nicole O’Brien spiral into the chaos of modern dating and let’s just say, there may or may not be a cease and desist on the way ��We get into the dating app emotional rollercoaster, icks we can never recover from and why one of us is officially done being celibate. We’re also talking love-bomb-coded behaviour (yes, even flowers), checking your partner’s phone and when a man kisses the wrong girl on a night out… things get messy.It’s giving feast or famine, delusion or despair. Nothing in between.Subscribe for weekly episodes full of dating disasters, unfiltered girl chat, and therapy we probably need but haven’t booked yet.

Guys, are you joking we've literally had a cease and desist already? Like, what, episode three and we've already had a cease and desist? I can't mention the name of the lad who I was on about. In the previous episode, guys. No, but I'm joking. No, but yeah, we can't, yeah, we can't. No, but yeah, we can't. We discussed it and, yeah, I think we actually would get a cease and assist if I did.

So, uh, you guys can find out on your own internet trails. Exactly. But we will leave that there. There's a paper trail right there. There's a paper trail. Yeah, great. another season sister or not even another we haven't got one but you know anyway moving on yeah moving on I think we should talk about dating apps because I feel like we've a lot to say on dating

and yes we talked about in episode two but we've a lot to say about it now when it comes to dating apps I'm on rare okay I was on hinge now I was on hinge for a long time and I'm telling you like it gave me a bit of a complex what I don't know we talked about this last night about um just people who are not your time oh my god yes yes it gave me a bit of a complex but raya lads i'm telling you it is a waste of money i have been on one date in the past four years on rea and that date you know you you you don't know who this is but you know him well you've definitely been on two days then because remember the day i came on oh this is this is Tell them, tell them this story.

Okay, so I recently, yeah, you're right, I'll be on two days. Yeah, so I met this guy on Rea. Now he follows me, so he's probably going to see this. Who cares? I don't give a thought. Yeah, do you know what he cares? No, I don't care. I'm telling how it is.

It is what it is, at the end of the day. Don't do stupid shit. Don't, do, stupid shit. Now, he was nice, he was really nice, he took on the boxes, all great. Bethin was going through a bit of a tough time with a guy. This is when I went through the breakup of the previous, after, you know, the celop, lost the celopacy.

Yeah, so. So this is the guy that I was dating and this is that when we broke up, right? Yeah, well we were dating, yeah, we were practically in a fucking relationship. Yeah. But then all of a sudden, we're not in a relationship. Right, okay. Oh, you're not ready for a relationship, but you're not on. You're not ready for a relationship.

Ah, all right. Okay, okay. Okay, hon, okay. Anyways, but yeah, so yeah, I was going through a bit of a bad time. You know, I was bit sad, bit upset, bit hurt. Yeah, so let's talk about your guy. So I was talking to this guy and it was going, going so well and then like I'm telling you now once I get the ick there's no going back from it and you could just do the littlest thing it could be guys I know this is so mean but it could

be like if you took a little trip up stairs like that will give me the ick and there's no coming back you really need to go therapy for the hat no I do no no no no if it's a first date or a second day and I don't yeah I know the littlest things I'd be like what what you doing like that's so embarrassing this might be the root of your anxious when you pay for the dates because if you're if you're thinking like that you're then probably worrying about what they because if you've got a standard of having the ick like that if it's someone falls up that says that's just an example yeah okay that that didn't happen but that is an example okay but this is going

really well I got the ick and I can't really remember why I got the egg you know exactly why you got the no no remember I had the ick slightly before I went on the date so anyway Bethen was crying and she wasn't in a good place and I was like look no I wasn't crying at this point I did not cry I did not in front of him. No, I'm talking about before I went on the day. Oh, before. So then I said to him, I was like, look, my friend's going through a tough time. Like, I don't think I should be leaving her. And then you were like, oh, like, I wouldn't mind going for a drink. And I was like, you know what? Okay. And he was like, yeah, you're weird. Yeah, you third weird. I came on

that double day. No, it wasn't even a double day. It was a fucking trouble. But wait, wait. So then he was like, he was so nice, bless him. And he was like, just bring her. Bring her. Yeah, that's what he said. He actually offered for me to come because he did. She was going to cancel the date because I was a record. Yeah, yeah, I was gonna cancel it. But anyway, right, so he, he was like, bring her and I was like, grand, and I kind of was thinking, like, might go back, wait now,

I might go back with this guy, so I had this in my head, but okay. Because he was wanting to make a spite some margaria's from home, if you know what I mean. Yeah, so I was like, okay, so I was thinking, okay, I might go back with this guy, but I do have a bit of it, so I don't know what to do. So I was so happy Bethan was coming

because I was like, this is great. Anyway, we get there and he's so nice and then we're all chatting away, and we're all drinking some Guinness because we love a guinea guinea again again split that j yeah yeah so we're all in this lovely pub drinking Guinness and he's he is lovely like he really is what we're trying to emphasize how lovely is yeah i know yeah i feel like i'm overcompensating here for like how nice he had nice no listen he was a lovely man he was and then basically he asked bethyn if she was okay

bethyn was like ah yeah like i'll be fine all right yeah he stood up now we've got bethyn here we've got him here. So what in a three? Well, literally in a three. So we'll literally like a little triangle like this. If you can imagine what literally sat there like a triangle, right? He stood up and he went over after Bethan said that she had a bit of a tough time, but she's doing okay. And he went lads, you honestly you won't believe it. He went over and he kissed her on the head. On me fucking third eye chakra. Like on the third eye chakra. Myself and Beth looked at each other in disbelief. We were like, did that happen? And then I was thinking, let's not make this too awkward because shit this is this is fucking weird.

kissed us in the fucking head he kissed her on her forehead you guys I'm just sat there being like now I feel uncomfortable because I don't want to make him uncomfortable but this is the weirdest shit I've ever been in my life and then we just looked at each other for a brief second and I knew we were going to the bathroom we were telepathically we were telepathicously we knew we are going to the bathroom to debrief so instantly I'm like oh kind of need to be bethyn do you want to come in the bathroom what is going on what just happened now just in the fucking head now like obviously bear in mind

We've been seeing some dickheads in the past. This guy's a nice guy, so I don't want to be a bitch, but that is weird. It was weird, but listen, I do think that we either have it one way or another. Oh, one way. Lads, it's feast or famine. I always say that. Feast or fucking famine. Like one time I'm not dating for about six months, and then I'll have about four dates a week.

Yeah. And then, oh, nothing then for another six months. It's so bizarre. Yeah. But, like, that was so crazy. It was weird. It was a bit weird. Now, I think he was coming from a place of like.

love oh 100% yeah it was but like that was the first night I'd met him and the last night I then brought her to the bathroom after our second or third goodness I said right very confused we need to leave no guys if he's listening to this he'll he already kind of knows oh you know what happened it was weird you regret it instantly you can see the regret in his life You're good to say the regret. He didn't think it through one bit. He didn't.

It's so funny. And then we went to another pub and he went off to get drinks. And I said, come here to me. I'm not going home with him. Like, I don't fancy him anymore. So you need to pretend that you were going through a shitter. Even more stuff. No, no.

No. I know. And I said, save those fucking tears for outside where he can see him because we need to leave. And you did, I did, I did, I took them back up in my head. I sucked them right back up in my head. And I was like, right, we're ball in front. I'm actually crying, because that is the funniest thing. And then he's coming down with the drinks, and then it all comes out.

And I was like, look, we not to eat. No, I did, but I did, because I was really needing to cry. Yeah, you were, you were. And I couldn't hold it in anymore. And then I just text him, like the day after. and I was like, look, I'm sorry, I'm not feeling this anymore. Yeah, because I feel honesty is always the best policy. It is exactly.

No, the only thing is I didn't, like I just said that I wasn't feeling it, which I wasn't, and I honestly wasn't. Listen, you weren't going to turn around and say, listen, you kissed me best friend on the fucking four eye. You weren't going to say that way. You weren't going to say, you kissed my best friend on our fucking third eye shot back. He knew.

He fucking knew. Oh, way, you couldn't not. Oh God, bless him. Listen, I think it came from a place of like, you could, I was very distressed. Yeah, you were. You were. Um, I was trying to keep it in.

I was, but I was a fucking emotional wreck. Like, you know what I mean? I'd lost me Virginia again. You lost your fucking virginia. I thought this guy was a safe guy to be around. Oh, I know. Oh, no, he is, but it was just, yeah. No, emotionally safe.

Emotionally, no, no, I'm not about my, my guy. Oh, your guy, your guy. No, no, definitely not. No, but anyways. Yeah, so they. Rea digress. Yeah, yeah. So Rea, two dates.

Don't think it's worth the money. Am I still paying for it? Fuck yeah. Because I just think maybe it'll happen. Maybe it'll happen. But guys, realistically, it doesn't. But I've got a story for you. I was just going to say, you have some story.

Listen to this, right? So obviously, after the whole like situation ship, whatever the fuck, I don't even know what it is to be fair. Whatever that situation ship is, after that ended, I was like, I'm not going back to. Mother Mary, I'm not doing it. Mother Teresa can suck it, it's not happening. I'm not going back to literally like Mary.

No. I'm not doing it. I need to get out there. But it's what I said to you. I said, look, we're in our prime now. You don't want to regret it in years to come when you've been celibate for so long. When I'm 50 years old, I can't even bend me back back.

Exactly. You know, bend it, what's it? Popmin' his back like spice. Bending his bum like spice. Yeah, exactly. What's her name? Black China. No, it's not black china.

Ice spice. No, it's not ice spice. So you said black spice, black china ice spice. I'm just freeballing it. So yeah, right, okay. So it's, um, what's it called? Um, oh, that song man. For God see, my brain. Anyways, bending his woman like spice

in the back of the van where they shop and stare. These men wanna act me a beast. So I put these men in the cage. I mean, oh, two days later and busing all over the face. Do you, do you know that song? Is that song? No, it's ice spice. I think so.

No, it's not, it's China. It's just just called China. It's like, yeah. I don't listen to rap, but anyway, here we go. Anyways, right, so listen to this. So I've got a story for you. So I thought to myself, I'm not going back. I'm not going back into it,

into my little celibacy thing, because I've done what I need to do and I've done the healing. Yeah, I've understood, I'm going for nice men now. I'm not going for fucking arseholes. I'm not doing it. You and your tattoos and your fucking shit teeth

can fuck off. Fuck off, yeah. No, literally, I'm not doing it. I'm not dealing with these men that literally treat you like shit i want a nice man who treats us nicely so i was like i'm back on the dating scene i'm out there me fucking clothes her out i'm ready for it now good anyway so on hinge matches with this guy and listen listen guys hinge it's not the great it's not the greatest just so found this guy and i thought oh my god he's 10 out of 10 him he's fucking 10 out of 10

he was sexy set oh sexy very very sexy guy very sexy um so i was like effect and he was eager as well I love an eager beaver I do I love a keen being yeah so he went so he matched each other and he messaged just on the day and he was like is it too soon to say like let's me up tonight I love that I did but it was nine o'clock at night and I went I went oh nine o'clock I was like yeah no I think we'll do it I said we'll do it tomorrow and he was like yeah I'm free tomorrow and he said the reason why I want to go out so soon is because he had a holiday booked oh but I like that yeah he took initiative well didn't fucking last very long did it. So anyways, went out with him, had a lovely date. It was so fit. We're kissing

neck non all night. It was great. I was just like, I was in my element. I had the best time. And so then we left it anyways. And then we were texting. He was on holiday. He was texting us from the mountains. Like he was in, um, he was in the Alps. Yeah. He was skiing, whatever. Send his photos of like him diving in the end. That was very, I loved it. I loved everywhere in there. I'm not going to lie. Um, until it all fucking came crashing. down right so gets back from the skiing trip and he was fine and we're planned another date um you know we're chit chat chatting and we're messaging like once a day but it was like you know the the multiple chats that you have so you message once a day you're messaging loads the essays

the essays i love that yeah that's great yeah maybe you can check in a couple of times in the day whatever but don't be on me back no anyway not after the last one not after the last one because he was pretty much on the back and i was on his back as well let's be honest yeah but that's on health me. I'm not his friend. Right, let's stop there. PG. Um, a little bit PG until maybe further on. Yeah. Anyways. Um, so this guy messaging, then he says he was going to meet his friends in a different city. So he gets back from the holiday, goes and meets his friend. Now I didn't hear from him all the weekend, but this guy had been messaging us consistently throughout the week. And he was apologising for the lack of how much he was communicating for me, person.

you were sending us an essay that was fine and also he's on holiday exactly yeah but he was like i'm so sorry like you know what i just want to apologize again like for how like the lack of communication and i was like that's actually fine i said this has been like pretty perfect you know what i mean that it's been fine anyways so goes to his uh thing hadn't heard from him all weekend ben and my were meant to be going out on the tuesday so imagine it's the friday the previous week yeah didn't hear from him all weekend didn't here from a Monday better mind I've got their fucking restaurant booked I've got the restaurant booked so you organize this because he sorted the whole night

out for the first night and I said I went oh because this is what happens you can pay for the first day if you if you're asking me you're going say it you can pay for the first day and I don't mind paying for a second day I don't mind paying at all I'm not asked about it it's the principal you need the woo-ers you need to tell it you need to make us feel wanted yeah you know what I mean anyways so he goes so that was that so never heard from him and I'd booked the day on I put the table on the Friday from all Friday night all Saturday night or Sunday night mad or Monday night Tuesday I'm meant to be meeting him I said to you on the

phone I said if he messages he has a cut off point and I always do yeah right of I said what had to understand he was that with the friends on the weekend whatever there's any you know would only just meant would only be like meeting well I think dating starts when you go on a date the fucking second you go on a date you date no well no Oh, I do. No. If you're consistently texting after the date and not cutting it off. Yeah, if you're consistently texting then yeah.

But I think, so I said to you he has until 8 p.m. On the Sunday. Sunday night. I said otherwise, you sack it. Yeah. Because this is so ridiculous. Yeah, he can't message you the day previous. No, even, no, the day pre,

no, because I said, I'll give it to the Monday because he might be out with the friends on the weekend, he might be really hung over on the Sunday. And then the Monday, I said, if he doesn't get batteries on the Monday, the day before saying, I was still on for tomorrow, it's done. He didn't get barriers, did he? Until.

Until, until, until. Fucking 45 minutes before I meant to be going out. Now listen, I'm not gonna lie, I haven't went back and looked at the text. I don't know if I definitely gave him a time. Now that I'm thinking about it. Who cares? It's the evening that you were meant to meet up.

In the evening I was meant to be meeting up, yeah, we said, he said after six o'clock. That's what he'd said, I'll be, because we actually planned. this date on what date. So we planned it on what date. I mean, granted, who a bladders, what a fucking mole.

But I can remember, he turned around, as I said, listen, I went, we'll do this day because you're off the next day. And he wanted to actually see me that weekend. But I said, no, like, we'll do it that day because you're off the next day. And like, yeah, you know,

I think, like, I personally think that he was seeing someone else. And that he just was like, shit. Either he's made us. like solid with someone else okay or he's with someone else we don't know anything about yeah we don't know anything we've no mutual friends with him not no don't have a clue who he is no I hate that oh no I hate so much I don't like

mutuals I don't want him known anything about me no because I have you know my really bad dating story when I didn't know anything I didn't Google the guy you know yeah yeah different story about different time different time right but I hate the fact that you you you can't figure out what's going on there. Right. But then again, no, because a secure mindset doesn't wanna figure shit out, that's the thing.

No, it's a safety thing for me though. Oh, safety. It's a safety thing for me. I want to know, like, where you're from, like you're, like I want to know a bit about you because you could be anyone. Oh, true. I never thought like that.

Do you know what I mean? Oh. You could be anyone. Yeah, of course. It's a safety thing for me. It is, yeah, I suppose so, no, I do get that. Yeah. But I don't know, at the same time,

I just enjoyed the fact that I had no, mutuals with them and you know it was just some it was something nice where I could really get to know someone without anyone's little little two pence piece thing because everyone has something to say these days like shut you yeah shut up yeah no it is so true it is it is like people have opinion yeah of course I just like I like to get my own opinion and just like navigate myself without like hearing this and here and I don't like it anyways he messages us 45 minutes before right 45 minutes before and Listen, thank you so much for messaging.

Now, I mean, listen, your timing was shit. Listen, Mr. Pilot, if you're listening to this, your timing was shit. And to be honest, if you double text is right, wait, what was his name again? Oh, I don't know. I can't even remember. I called him Pilot, I think. Oh, did you?

Oh, that's his name I found. Yeah, pilot. Right, so, um, I love that. So this is what he was there. It was like, hey, beaut, hope you had a lovely weekend, blah, blah, blah. Where did you go there? asking his questions about me weekend blah blah blah just got back the about the house you know what i've picked up a bit of flu right okay um is it all right if we postponed tonight sorry for getting

back to you late about it that is so ridiculous and i just see like that little tiny little response there it wasn't genuine enough personally for me no you if i was a really naive young girl which i probably would have done this in the past when i was younger i have done and i'm thinking and i'm i'm thinking i'm going on a date right i'm thinking i'm going on a date he hasn't got back was I could have been getting my makeup done, I could have got my hair done, I could have like got myself all spruced up and he's messaged me at quarter past six at night.

Ben and mine were meant to be going out on the evening. I could have been ready. I could have been leaving in 15 minutes to meet him at the bar, to meet him at the restaurant. 100%. You know, that's literally happened me so many times over the years where I've been full on ready to go

and then they just don't text or they cancel like literally 45 minutes beforehand. And I still, this is years ago now, I still continued on the conversation with them. Yeah. Like that is absolutely insane to me now. And it's insanity and I'm so glad

and I know you wouldn't have text back to that. I wouldn't have no, because I'm in the stage of my life now, right? Where I've had that much like life experience when it comes to dating. And I'm like, do you know what? No, the standards that I'm setting for people are not fucking high.

Don't lie, don't cheat, don't be deceptive, be respectful of people's time and make me actually feel like you want to get a notice. it is very very easy and simple the bar is in fucking hell at the minute with these men and I'm not doing it I'm not doing it anymore the bar's coming up yeah and if you can't come up there you're getting left behind no I know and I think it's honestly down to social media I think it's like lads again as we said before living in their feminine energy I think there's no excuse for it absolutely but I look at like my dad for example I'm like I want someone like that who you know

it's like wait you want your dad no but people say this you you you look for the trace of your you do yeah like someone kind someone truthful yes someone honest someone and that honestly is so hard to find it is i haven't found that with anyone yeah i genuinely haven't and like going back to like all this and you saying like you know obviously it's nice that people don't put their two pens in and you you get to know them for for them but honestly the safety thing is such a big thing for me like my friend um my friend will look them up on LinkedIn's and she'll look if they have a company look them up on company's house she'll find their home address she'll look at my god that's like really FI shit yeah but I love that because no

because like a man doing that to me yeah but yeah but it's women we're vulnerable oh yeah it's very different you're like look at the stats men are going out and they're doing horrendous shit yes and I'm not saying it's all men obviously but of course Listen, if somebody gave you a box of chocolates and said, yeah, five of them are poisoned, what are you going to do? Are you going to try and figure out which ones aren't poisoned? No, you're going to say the whole box of them chocolates is poisoned. See you later. Yeah, it's just being careful. I think women have to be so careful nowadays. There's like, you know, like this is obviously some deep shit now, but like in Belfast, like in Northern Ireland, there has been a huge amount of attack on women. There's been like young women murdered so many of them in the past year. Yeah, like obviously this is deep shit. but like it honestly terrifies me like yeah you really have to know who you're going out with and i expect i feel like men can find out a lot about us online okay you google our names you find out half of it is fucking shite that the press have written oh it's probably five years ago in what you know exactly but yeah but this guy i'm glad you've sacked it you're moving on

yeah because i just thought do you know what it is right if you really wanted to make an f-up with a girl like you would make an f-at like where are the men that are like swooning and after women like I just don't feel like they just the feel like I feel like men feel like they're getting on a plate yeah do you know what I mean I mean and it's like it's it's very frustrating because it's no I mean maybe it's because we're being brought up on like love stories and twilight and and maybe we've got this idea of like what love should feel like you can be like but I feel like I don't know I know people who have that obviously they have their issues of course but it's not all like anger and toxicity that is such a thing

nowadays obviously people talk about it online and that is why it's such a thing but what I want to like talk about especially is the red flags yes yes red flags in men I think we have learned a lot about them I feel like we've genuinely seen the red flags as pink um what rose rose tinted glasses yes so the red flags were pink yeah at first because you know feelies a bit of oxytocin run through the bod but it's really interesting though because I feel like we can actually understand a lot more of the red flags now yeah so for instance if a guy is very full on in the beginning you know he's wooing you're sending your big bouquet as a flower as he's buying your trainers and boo baskets when you're not very well all these things it's a little bit much it's a little bit much it's very love bomby when you're not planned on being in love or staying with that person you know like you don't need to do all this splashy showy shit to try and get people to you know you know like thingy you know I think that actually is such a red flag like the flowers thing I've had

that too at the very beginning it's a hard one because I mean it's nice getting flowers but I think it depends on the second date is absolutely ridiculous I'm sorry I think that is wild was it the second date mm-hmm oh it was the second time you had met him oh it was after the first but that's happened right as well yeah yeah yeah ended in absolute tears as well yeah like it's just not taking it slow it's not no and I've got ADHD I'm I'm naturally lacking in dopamine when somebody love bombs me I've lop that shit oh yeah my brains don't do it with dopamine my brain's getting flooded like that is gorgeous I mean it wasn't actually because I remember I felt a bit uncomfortable didn't I did and I said

and I went at the gym yeah and I was just like this feels very full on I feel very and it was a very anxious feeling but then I kind of gaslit myself out of it because I I was like, no, it's been a long time. Like he's being such a lovely person, he would never hurt this. He wouldn't, it wouldn't, it wouldn't have it in him. Yeah, I've just presumed. I mean, you should never presume like that

about anybody, by the way. Presuming makes an ass out of you and me. Oh God, don't presume. Yeah, I think we've learned that not to presume, but I think, yeah, definitely going slower is more healthier. It is. And everything, everything, every relationship that we've had

or like situation that has gone fast. It's so far. has ended in tears it has it's ended in tears it has it's got pretty toxic and it's it's kind of turned in a more of like a trauma bond situation definitely but anyways more red flags what can we say so obviously if someone's taking it really fast so if someone's like seeing things like we're attached to the hip and where one person now where like literally always gonna be together like we're spending so much time together and someone who's always wanting to see you as well so like the

quicker the coming in your life the quick other leaf that's what I've experienced exactly yeah yeah I think that's such a big one I'm trying to think about the quick other leave but the quicker the the the quicker it ends so the quick the quick that yeah how fast it started if it was a million miles an hour trust is it's gonna end abruptly yeah it will yeah that's literally so true yeah so true I'm trying to think of other red flags um I think like obviously a lot of gift giving we've kind of covered that yeah but I know some love language is gift giving and that's fine but I think when it's very early on very early on and I think also

you have to kind of take an account into account you know lifestyle and stuff because I think especially like say for I can only imagine because I've never been with a millionaire but like if you're a millionaire and your millionaire boyfriend was just like show and your money you'd be like yeah you wouldn't be asked because it's literally loaded do you know what I mean but if you're not a millionaire if you're just normal like me and you check getting showered and gifts is a bit yet it is a bit weird now what bills to pay me yet yeah yeah you mean the money instead honey return them give me in a money treat us back and put the water yeah

give me a hundred quid instead thank you very much I think um yeah like definitely I do agree with that now what about phones if they won't allow you to now I feel like I think privacy on the phone even if but at the same time I would all if you ask I will give you my phone but I think that is a breach of trust if you do ask that I think um I think if you have to ask that I think it's done it's done it's it is done yeah yeah I think because I will give you the phone but then I'll end it where you yeah because I'd be like what no like that it is definitely like a bit of trust in that situation but there's been so many times in the past with me where I'm like I've had

experiences where ex-boyfriends would leave their phones in the car they'd leave their oh yeah they'd leave their phone in the car just by accident leave their phone in the car um dominoes is calling oh yeah dominoes mom mom mom too was ringing yeah dad three um dad new number yeah yeah yeah um yeah so like i've had them like whether they've leave the phone in the car or whether have that phone upside down like that personally i think you can't have your phone upside down like that like when it comes to light notifications and stuff but i would say on dates i find it so polite no not on date i'm not on date i'm so i'm saying like in boyfriend girlfriend girlfriend relationship got you okay yeah yeah yeah that's what i'm talking about yeah like if you

that's a red flag like if you're in a relationship and the phone's always down like that's so interesting yeah i think that's just a trigger for me that's what i've experienced because it's like you know uh the gut instinct and then the messages that you get are hey girl hey hon hey hon just thought i would let you know oh you know what thanks so much but i'm fucking heart broken yeah yeah what like what like I'm trying to think if that was me if I was dating a guy and I found out he had a girlfriend right because we actually talked about this yesterday we did what would you what would you want to be told would you tell the girl no hang on if you want a relationship with some man yeah right and would you want to know from the

girl that he was cheating on you I would want to know because I would want to know because I But she didn't have any proof. It was just word of mouth. Because most of the time, these girls don't send the proof. But then I look at the Molly Tommy situation, right? Let's just talk about that for a second. The fact that these girls were saying that they got, let's say this one girl, you probably seen all over TikTok was saying that she got with Tommy and then it ended up being a fake picture.

Like it's just word of mouth, right? Okay. So I think a lot of people, if they want some press or if they want to give them to or on TikTok, let's say with that Molly and Tommy situation or whatever, um, they will do it for that. Whereas I don't, I just, I would need proof personally, unless you go with your gut instinct. Yeah. It's such a hard one. You don't know. Because also what I think, what I also think as well is especially if you, so it what I've experienced when I've been in a situation where I'm absolutely besotted by someone, I think like I wouldn't be able to breathe if the left is like,

just that really unhealthy relationship very toxic very very very co-dependent yeah very co-dependent like if somebody had said to me like listen this is what's been going on it it sends me paranoid and in what happens it is because there's if there's no proof there i've got a gut instinct but i always ignore her not anymore because i'm 30 years old and i'm never ever ignoring i ever again and i might be wrong and i don't even care i didn't care if i'm wrong i'm wrong. I'm not ignoring myself. Listen to your body. Listen to the body because I feel like the body just has such amazing ways of talking to you. Yeah, it does. It does. So if I was in a relationship and if I was in a bit of a codependent relationship where I was like really like

emotionally relying on this person like, you know, if I felt like the energy was off, I can feel it like if he's pulling back or whatever, I think that like would I leave that person if I didn't have the full proof? Because there was so many times that I've experienced. experience in the past where I've had letters through me front door. I've had messages all over social media. I've been like this, this, this, this, this. And then the X would then be denying it. Deny, deny, deny, denied, deny.

Well, of course you wanna believe the X of, you literally love them. If there's more than one now, like I would imagine then. I still believe the X. You still wanna be, yeah, I think you still do. But it makes you paranoid and then it makes you toxic because you like, what are you doing behind me back? And then your gut instinct goes a bit up a bit more

because you're in your fight or flight and you've been triggered. You know, you, what's it called? Your attachment style is being triggered, whether you're anxious or avoidant. Yeah, I think then it's just an end game. Like once you get a message like that, even if you try and stay together and nine times out of 10, you will end.

But I don't know, you know, because sometimes you know, I just believe that women definitely know when something dodgy's going on. You feel it. 100% you feel it. And some of them overlook it, I think. Yeah.

I mean, some people do overlook it, but I do think nine times out of ten that it does end down the line. I'm not going to stay till the day they die. Listen, I think if you're the type of person where you can forgive, I think, then that's perfect. That's really good for you. I'm not.

Me either. I'm not. I have a severe issue actually with that that I definitely need to work on and maybe go to therapy about. No, do you know what though? I think, no, it is becoming such an issue for me though, but I do think like I'll forgive little things,

but like a big, things I just like I know you should forgive because it's hurting you more than the other person and we'll delve into this in another episode anyway because we have a lot of hurt behind us when it comes to friendships and relationships whatnot yeah but I my friends back home told me that you need to let go with this situation and you need to forgive people because it is hurting you far more than the other person the other person is off living their life they're happy out they're not bothered that's a thing of the past I'm going to say I'm going to see some something real conversal and I just don't think that that's true at all I don't think you have to forgive people who have hurt you at all yes you can let it go you can absolutely 100% let it go and you can not think about it ever again and it can be literally a distant memory you do not have to forgive people that have hurt you the same ways people don't have to forgive you when you've hurt them yeah you don't and you don't all people who have done horrible and nasty things to you

selfish things to you you do not all them forgiveness no not if it's for and you want to forgive them but personally there's people in my past that I will never forgive and I'll sleep happily at night knowing that they are not in my life ever again like I'm not forgiving them and you know exactly what you've done yeah you're a fucking shitty person and that's that and you are not in my space you know in my energy anymore and that's where I stand with it you're not getting I don't forgive I don't forgive you yeah but that's the thing like I have a severe issue with not forgiving and I feel like maybe I don't know if I

need to work and I would like to slightly because I think I do it too much where it's like maybe in the past I would let people walk all over me in the past I was like yeah that's fine that's fine but then I think that's you becoming too forgiven though because you've let people walk all over yeah yeah but in little things and then it's built up to a big thing where I'm like fuck you now okay and then it's like in like anger so it's like resentment all complete complete resentment which is hurting me yeah more than the other person because they didn't care you know yeah maybe you have to be more open in like communicating your boundaries because a hundred yeah i'm not good at that yeah i'm really not and i'm so aware that i'm

like not good at that i think i'm i'm really trying this year and like one of my best friends said that to me she was like you need to put boundaries like you can't be trying to do so much for this person and that person when it's affecting you yeah yeah i think you're getting better at it though you know i am I think I am as well. I really am trying and I think it's just it's not a natural thing for me exactly so what it is you need to do repetition that's all it is you just need to keep doing it and doing it and doing it until you get to that level of like right I know me boundaries yeah and I'm not crossing them not nobody exactly and I want to get to that but we'll talk about people crossing boundaries won't we that's a whole another ball game and it might be next episode because I feel like

a lot of people across some boundaries actually yeah I think I think we should I think in the next episode we should talk about body confidence and a bit more wellness side because it was a little bit of a heavy topic but not too much yeah actually but I was going off on me I was about it I was about maybe in a few episodes time I think yeah there's a lot we want to say on that

I can't wait me too I kind of fucking wait people have been waiting to hear our two pensions situations as well yeah and it's all coming out here we go