Will & Rusty's Playdate - 100th episode goes NUTS

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

To celebrate 100 beautiful episodes, Will, Rusty, and Lauren reflect on their fondest Playdate memories, share their favorite things about each other, and explain why 7–14 people is the perfect size for a group hang. They also talk high school firsts, tall babies, and revive the Permitting Division of the Building Department for an epic squirrel prank call. Plus, AFTV’s Liam Cullagh and Billy Langdon join to draft sayings, rom-coms, slang words, and country songs that don’t exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg FOLLOW BILLY: https://www.instagram.com/stilllwell/ FOLLOW LIAM: https://www.instagram.com/liamcullagh_/ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: ACCELERATOR AVAILABLE ON AMAZON. UPGRADE YOUR ENERGY HERE https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/FB06B38E-F0C2-479F-9DA5-FD4A1C852B07?channel=Playdate GRAB A REFRESHING TWISTED TEA TODAY https://www.twistedtea.com/ VISIT https://us.dollarshaveclub.com/collections/playdate-podcast AND USE PROMO CODE PLAYDATE FOR 20% OFF $20 OR MORE. LAST CALL: THE AFTER-ALCOHOL PRODUCT THAT ACTUALLY WORKS. VISIT https://trylastcall.com/PLAYDATE FOR 25% OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER. 00:00 Intro 07:14 Why Airplanes are Sexy 19:10 Reflection 32:15 Adulting 42:30 Looking Forward 50:35 Moldy Suits 01:00:32 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off 01:11:54 Our Favorite Things About Each Other 01:18:52 Roadmap 01:20:14 Pitch Submissions 01:33:25 Pitches 01:38:49 Prank Calls 01:52:40 This Guy Rocks 01:56:40 Teach Me Something 02:04:14 Drafts #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

New from Nespresso, blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function and Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight, our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com.

hear that it's your money calling it wants a promotion elevate your savings with the scotia high interest savings account always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest conditions apply visit scotiabank.com slash hisa to learn more scotia bank you're richer than you think playdate episode 100 most podcasts get canceled after 99 that's statistically i looked this up yes 95 of podcasts are canceled after the 99th episode is that true yeah wow all right so we are in the minority guys we did it this is the mountaintop yeah this is it it's all downhill from here it is all downhill from here in the sense that it's going to be a lot easier yes we're going to try a lot less we're going to get hammered we actually are going to

get hammered today lauren come on come on lauren's got some champagne you got you got the groot i got the groove i am groot brute american sparkling wine oh wait no i threw something I got them rubber duckies you guys oh it went in the bag oh that went in the bag there's no camera on it but that was a cool way

that rubber duck landed I got them rubber duckies guys I think we just want to take did you have to put tape on that that says do not drink yeah

why that's just life in the Friday beers you were worried someone would drink that bottle of champagne before noon I don't know

I would get kind of excited if I saw it you would get excited if you saw it I am Groot well we know why Lauren would get excited it's from

it's actually from Guardians of the Galaxy gardens of the galaxies vineyard lauren pop that bad boy i will but you guys wait please hold on to them no that what i was saying is like the thing i've been saying i am group that's a thing from um for we i think we should take a moment here let's reflect we've done we've done a hundred episodes now guys a hundred memories oh it's like what's lauren doing it's like asmr but it sucks the opposite of asmr oh all right keep reflecting all right bsmr what are what are some of our favorite memories from this favorite memories from the pod oh my god do you remember the episode

where like my these two fingers were completely stuck together oh yeah you had been like now it was the mousetrap thing yes yes oh my god that was i was just thinking about You're in a permanent rock-off. It's like the opposite. No, I guess the opposite of Spock. Oh, that is the rock-off. I don't know how to do this. Come on, I'll help you out.

What do I do? Oh, God. Do you do it on camera? Wait, I'll just come over there. Come on over, Lauren. Come on in. The water's fine. Come on in.

The water's fine. We're playing. Did you ever get into sabering champagne? You ever done that? I've never gotten into it. With a knife? With any sort of technique. oh oh like we like oh oh you should have shot it at the lights come on man you should have shot it

at the lights guys are you gonna be in the frame just for a second that'd be kind of fun yeah no i need to do things just to do tech oh wait wait no no i can look at the good the gadgets while i'm sitting here but who's gonna pull up all this stuff i'm joking i'm not actually i just need my i'm joking i'm shaking i'm shaking the honors come on i'm shaking i haven't drank in a couple hours oh yeah your skin you know what's crazy is i didn't oh god lauren's spilling it lauren is spilling the champagne all over her dress and wait no one else said a memory i you were like you want to recap our best moments that i did one lauren went went lauren went hog i went bonkers my favorite memory from the podcast was there you go lauren thank you oh all of my panties

if you're an audio listener right now you need to stop driving turn on the video look at the well you can't you can't listen don't tell we got it we remember early on we used to be like if you're an audio listener stop be a video listener okay but it's fine to say it once in a blue moon if you're an audio listener yeah more people listen to our audio than watch our video but you have to pull over right now because we are drinking and you should drink with us yeah or get tripled pull over go to go to your local abc liquors get abc oh and willie's getting tripled yeah i'm i'm foregoing the i am groot champagne and i'm gonna cheers triple it up cheers oh i don't get to do the cheers can i get my glass oh you want a triple glass it's

oh dude i learned this last night they're colored because i poured it in my okay that one's not but the cherry lemonade one uh cheers guys to the oh to the memories we will remember and the nights we will forget 100 podcasts for just my glass broke all right cheers all right lauren get back over there and let's get this thing cooking because we got a lot to talk about guys we are doing a mega episode today so if you have anything to do for the next couple hours five hours cancel it we're going for five hours we're going until the empty netters try to kill us i have a i have a flight at 11 p.m and i think i'm gonna miss it because of this tonight are you going out tonight going out tonight i'm going out tonight i'm going out tonight yeah we got upgraded to

first class wow do you use one of your upgrades i did use one of my upgrades so i guess we paid for it in a sense um it's flan's first time flying first class she's very excited about it blue collar lady nice and uh i'm very excited we are not sitting in the same we're not sitting next to each other right now on the seat map so i'm gonna have to be the guy did i already sit did i really talk about this i'm gonna have to be the guy that's like that everyone hates that's like ah would you move so i feel like i don't mind that like i i offered that up on my a recent why doesn't she just act like she's really scared yeah or really really really hurt hurt just hurt enough that someone would want to switch but not hard enough that

oh we got some we got some joker wailing in 5c right now um i'm so hurt here's my here's my thinking i'm ow somebody switch with me they're like why would that remedy i'm hurt ow i'm in so much pain but just enough that i could get through this six hour flight it's so hard it hurts i need someone take off this red eye flight where everyone's trying to sleep i'm in so much pain red eye but my thinking is like so she's in 5c i'm in 2a yeah so she's aisle i'm window So if I offer the guy, or vice versa, sorry, if I offer the guy who's in five on the aisle to move up closer to the front of the plane

and he's still in an aisle, I feel like that's a fair trade. Yeah, you're going to be fine. Yeah, it's perfect. I won't be an issue at all. I've been talking... You might even get a round of applause. They're like, this guy's a hero. You've got to wear this, though.

Should I? You guys look so dapper. On a red-eye flight wearing a full suit. All right, let's get comfy. wait do they do they bring you sorry what were you gonna say what were you gonna say do they bring you pajamas uh pajamas no like everyone's like changing in their seats they do on i guess that's they do on overseas flights really yeah i've never done it pajamas yeah well where do you change these it's the flights where you have like your own room oh which i got once technically

to atlanta and the i think i've told this before the it seems like awesome for a couple minutes where you're like i got my own space whatever but then if your door is closed you can't see when the flight attendants are coming by so you can't like get asked for anything it's snacks whatever and the problem is i would open it and then a flight attendant would walk by and just close it because they assume you want privacy and it's like no i'm here to i'm here to take advantage of the free drinks like i don't yeah were you jerking it ever i thought about it because i was like when's the next time i'm gonna have a chance to do this yeah and then i was like the one one the airplane not a very sexy place but two agreed if you got caught like if you got caught

jerking off on a flight how would you get caught they like swing your door open it doesn't lock oh it might lock it might lock well you think the airplane's a sexy place thank you yes no no no i'm asking yeah finally why it's full of hot it's full of hot singles like maybe it's half it might be half of one a speed dating event the way we'll approach it no it's funny like well you know like the whole thing about like when you're like in an airport and you like see someone your age like they're instantly hotter but oh yeah like fellow teen no every time i go to the airport i'm like who's like who's crushing on me right now yeah exactly or like on the plane i'm like the whole Go to the airport, Lauren.

Yeah. When they're walking around. You gotta know your worth. Yeah, they are. Sorry, what were you saying, Willie? It's fine. I'll just kill myself. No, no, no.

Keep... No, it's fine. Well, there's also women in uniform bringing you snacks and drinks. And men. And men. I... Sometimes they have dumpies. Dude.

Okay. Whoa! I don't want to generalize, but I'm glad Lauren said it before me. The male flight attendants are... They might as well be a bakery with the amount of cake they're walking around with. Come on. Come on. Have you noticed that?

Like, yeah, probably. They're thick as all get out. it is they're like tweed pants are about to pop yeah it's like in a harry potter when her tweed jacket pops and the button flies across into the dog that was bad bunton yes yes man i was telling a triple story before we started oh also another sponsor uh the team over at accelerator every time i think i can't like these guys anymore yeah they got wind they got wind that today was our 100th episode which i don't know how they did either that or they got really lucky they've been they've been sending them every day yeah and emily's been eating them all oh they sent us cookies

for our 100th episode i love those and they sent us a hundred cookies each one bigger than the previous yeah also insomnia is a horrible name for a cookie oh i think it's incredible i think it's like if you're up late and you want a treat oh my god i speaking of being up late and want a treat i was tripled out of my gourd last night yeah and i i opened postmates this is after i've had dinner i opened postmates i was in the 7-eleven section i was adding all sorts of snacks and stuff and then i had a moment with myself where i go every morning when you wake up and there's an empty bag of nerds bites you go i wish you didn't do that and i somehow talked myself off the ledge and i went to bed and you didn't order it didn't order i thought you said you did order postmates

last night i did i postmates so i i'll tell you the full story i postmates but this is after my dinner i got hibachi poppy oh so you almost postmates again yeah which is not uncommon in the featherstone household but i i was like i'm gonna have i'm gonna be good tonight i got in the shower i poured my triple in a in a stanley with ice so that no water could get in there because they're airtight just drinking in the shower was having like a nice little steam jamming out to the jamming out to the music and then i was like you know what would go good with this is some chicken skewers which i'm anyone anyone who knows me knows i'm getting very into skewers so he said yes i was like what are you having for dinner he's like probably skewers i'm really

into skewers like that was like yeah like that's like a i don't know probably just like skewers yeah like i don't care what's on it but i just want the skewer yeah no it's it's uh yeah it's like when you get the happy meal just for the toy yeah i'm just collecting the sticks yeah but so i brought in i grabbed another triple and i walked down to whole foods i was having a nice little moment uh which i don't know if that's allowed to be out and about but yeah so i got in there well maybe not in a store but no i threw it out before i got in there oh yeah i mean you can smoke a joint on the street i love this city yeah you can do fucking anything in here and uh so i go in i get my skewers get my broccoli get four guinnesses i was gonna have a great night

got home put everything in the fridge sat down had was somehow not hungry for the first time ever and then uh by the time i was hungry it was too late to fire up the skewer station so i ordered hibachi poppy and i got a scallops bowl which was you got a scallops bowl i love scallops but scallops are really good they're really good but it i traditionally try and steer clear of them from like fast food yeah restaurants hibachi poppy is what they called me in high school really yeah you ever been hibachi yeah is that where they like do it on the thing in front of you yeah i love that shit and they in college one time during the coronavirus pandemic i i joined this it was my first comedy group i joined it's the new england classic

and uh i had gotten accepted and they're like hey we're having this like dinner at this hibachi place if you want to come and like meet everyone and uh it was during the coronavirus pandemic as i mentioned and do you remember the era where like you could not get an uber i was in maine for corona where you you already could already couldn't get one yeah so in boston i mean lauren did you experience this i wasn't doing anything or getting ubers was uber not running like it was come back it would have been the spring of 2021 so it was like almost a year after the pandemic at day never kind of just walked everywhere anyway so not okay so it was like you know we were back open you could go to restaurants but like you couldn't move around

tables or whatever it was like kind of that era and but you could not get an uber and i just kind of had for not realized that i guess and so i was going to meet this new club that i was eager to meet everyone and i went to call the uber i was like at my friend's it was scott's birthday actually we're drinking at his house beforehand and then i went to call the uber and uh i couldn't get the uber and it wasn't coming and i didn't want to be late to embarrass myself so i just drunk sprinted three and a half miles to the hibachi restaurant and so i ended up being in this club for years and making a lot of really good friends but they all would be like we all remember the first time we met you you were somehow completely out of breath sweating and

drunk like it was like i rule this guy just get drunk and work out and it was true i had yeah it was a it was a memory to last a lifetime it was hibachi that's beautiful yes i love uh i'm a big fan of hibachi you know who loves hibachi is max barrett max barrett his birth he catches every shrimp he's never dropped he never he's never shot i saw a video yesterday of an old couple at hibachi yeah her husband they're like both like 90 the husband kept grabbing the food before it landed in her mouth i love food we got uh in the mouth oh awesome full pickup basketball playing basketball in our studio dude fucking yesterday dan powers was like going off in the other room about like i guess did we fuck up their recording or something we will because our i'll

cut this but because uh not came late they were supposed to start at 11 15 and we went to like 11 30 oh yeah well he was yelling horrible things about us and i heard it i mean i it sounded like he called us like babies and douchebags they called us wieners and gonads yeah and i was standing like i was walking by the room and i heard it so i just stopped i was just standing out or sitting outside the doorway i was like just watching and then ed was like stop don't this is not your conversation i was like if he's screaming so loud that i can hear this from the other room i have every what are you doing why not i don't like being disrespected well it's also funny that you walk in on an argument you're like i don't know if i'm more mad about like

them call is this gonna be a thing for you no can you fix it well no no it doesn't matter okay please it doesn't matter um because it'll it'll drive the whole episode wrong also did you just try twisting the numbers and not the things on the bottom yep she thought it was gonna all right i'll twist the things on the bottom and then we'll be done just grab it yeah it is funny walking past someone like insulting you and all right enough this isn't good for my ocd it's like when you're when your family's having like a nice moment and everyone has to like stay calm but something's going wrong you guys like i can't stop looking at it um walking past someone insulting you but they're using like weird insults yeah it was like for the right you're like we were in the

wrong but i am not a baby or a douchebag yeah it was bullshit dude i was getting i was i was my name was getting dragged like that ain't that ain't chill a lot of two-faced people here at the office two-faced motherfuckers want to come fuck with me this morning i woke up just swinging on slack to in this group chat about on slack oh yeah i'm back on so you didn't know how to get on i found that there's a catch-up button that if someone had just explained to me that there's a button where it's all the stuff i need to read i would have been a slack head from the freaking jump yeah but i wake up this brand that i'm doing a video with was pushing back on like a deadline so i got the product last night and they need a video by the 21st which is when i will still be

in florida so i don't have time to film it and i was like half asleep but i was very mad for some reason so i was just like like just like sending paragraphs whatever rusty the bulldog and then once i kind of like rusty the bulldog that's what they call it yeah man the bulldog and uh once i once i kind of got through my morning grogginess i sent us it was more mad at the company but i had to go to carly and be like hey i'm sorry if that sounded like i was yelling at you she's like oh no i'm on your side i was like bang i'm back in uh yeah let's say the name of the brand publicly uh i'm just kidding sephora you have heard us say this before but you need to upgrade your energy

to accelerator it's zero sugar it gets the metabolism going and it's 100 natural caffeine there isn't an energy drink that tastes better i can tell you that much i'm off that livy done lately and this stuff is banging she got this recipe right i was never even a cotton candy guy growing up yeah i didn't like the way it felt in my mouth it was never a flavor thing this drink unbelievable i i have said it on our podcast i said it on on another podcast the other day is my favorite flavor now i drink them at morning you drink them at morning i drink them at morning i was gonna say like i was gonna go throughout the day and then i realized i kind of only drink them at morning i drink them at morning and i've already had one and a half today and i feel like

a million freaking bucks i think they're perfect for the afternoon like when i hit that slump yeah it doesn't make me like feel jittery damn right if you need a sign to go try it this is it my friends hit the link in the bio to get it on amazon let's get back to the episode um lauren if there were what is if there's one memory from the hundred episodes of this podcast that we've had together that said that to you i talked about the one where i got my fingers stuck together you haven't talked about one yet but i have to think lauren it's all a blur it could be the fingers one too that was that was a good one um i don't know it's honestly just weird to think back to when we were in the old studio yeah because that that feels like eternities ago

and when i barely knew you guys and just i feel like the beginning stages of just like getting to know each other's like vibe was like just very wholesome yeah and i remember just feeling my like feeling i was breaking out of my shell and just getting more comfortable and like that was just a fun process like seeing the the flow and how it i remember i'm sorry i was asleep what i remember i'm joking i'm joking noticing that you were starting to become more friendly with us which i liked well i don't think i was ever not friendly i just didn't know each other yeah and now we're like what are the odds that because you and i already knew each other but like what if you just stunk or we stunk or what if i was a different person what if you what if what if you didn't

what if we found out you had like someone's skin what if you had craig what if craig was your producer who's craig oh he got fired didn't he yeah wait was the finger thing in the old office or this one old one right yeah i think so right yeah you just got fingered oh also i knew that was a joke no one's getting fingered everyone just everyone just settled down i i i i knew that was me now figure me now i knew i knew that was fake all right no one's getting fingered everyone calls don't figure me it's like a cop breaking up a party all right everyone's scattered no one's getting fingered tonight i don't know i'm bringing up a high

school party he knows he knows they're like responsible sexually yeah he walks and he's like all right go home kids you're not getting fingered tonight all right any any hopes of getting fingered tonight are squandered i remember there was this girl who was a freshman when we were seniors in high school and she threw a party which was interesting to say the least yeah the cops come to break it up and it's like already weird because we're like into college but we're like at this girls whatever and the cops came and everyone scattered out one door but i was upstairs peeing and so i came down and i was like my first it was nowhere near my birthday but for some reason the when you come into a room that used to be filled and now it's empty like my

first thought was like surprise party or something i like didn't know if i was like not in on it or whatever yeah quickly realized what the situation was went up and hid in this shower and then i was like this is what like my best option should be to just like act normal or something like i feel like you're admitting guilt if you're like hiding in someone's shower yes agreed yeah when was the last time you hid in a shower laura uh i don't think i ever have you guys already like but did you guys siblings did you guys watch euphoria remember when uh cassie had to do that uh i watched a little bit of euphoria and i never really got into it i top me off lauren come on there was a girl in college that told me to watch euphoria and i watched half of one episode with

her and then i never saw her again or euphoria again yeah maybe that's better i don't know how to pour um there was a girl that made you watch euphoria yeah it was like we were like hanging out and then we put on euphoria isn't that like you gotta watch euphoria isn't that like the universal sign for like we're about to get it on yeah and then we got it on did you really yeah and then i never watched euphoria again when did you lose your virginity freshman year college i already know you were like 12 i was not 12 i was too young i didn't even have my permit yet and the person that i lost you picked me up in their car it's the only my first kiss picked me up that's awesome yeah when was your first kiss high school sam or no i was in eighth grade

it was like senior year of high school or something shout out reed carmen i was a late i was a late bloomer you know and in a lot of i remember weird i remember uh i was so mortified i didn't have armpit hair for like freshman year of high school i had no hair on my armpits and i was on a basketball team and i would just always have to wear a shirt yeah uh under my jersey i it's what's interesting is like it's a grass is always greener situation like i think you and i are on opposite sides of the spectrum where i got like the amount of body hair that i have now in seventh grade yeah and i was self-conscious of that but i think i was you would have killed for that yeah i would have killed to be yeah the grass is always greener the grass you think it is and

And that might be the title of one of my drafts today. The Grass Is Always Greener. It's a rom-com about... If you fucking nail this, I'm going to kill myself. Oh, good lord. Guys. Why? We'll then do anything.

Why is that guys? Well, because he said it earlier, so now you're both... I didn't say The Grass Is Always Greener. You're both jumping on that. I just said it again. Try and guess what it is. the grass is always greener is a rom-com about uh two farmers that uh the wimbledon that would be good no i don't want to spoil it well it's about my ass is always greener wait

tell me tell me the story of your first kiss willy we uh we mashed our faces together we played tennis i jumped across the room i think i told this before we played tennis and uh she beat me we were like let's play a set and i thought it would be like fun because i thought it was like decent at tennis i didn't know like she was really good at tennis she picked me up from my house got into my license even though i was like it was like senior year i didn't get my license so pretty really late too uh and she picked me up we went to the tennis courts and she beat me 6-0 she beat you six love i don't think you say love in like a set context do you in this romantic story oh yeah you're right you're right that would yeah and wait when you say it then for the games

like for the matches in an individual game you say like 15 love 30 love but i don't know anyway i lost 6l and then we went to a park and we kissed was it romantic or did she uh i don't remember she probably did lauren first kiss um i was playing spin the bottle really in like sixth grade i was with mia did you grow up in like the 90s i always wanted to play spin the ball yeah i never wanted to be the guy to be like come on yeah yeah yeah no we were in we were in a basement with a few of our guy friends we were on mia street she was really good friends with these guys lived down the street um and i remember i actually think yeah it was just like a little a little peck with this guy that ended up having a big crush on in high school but then nothing

never happened why'd nothing happen um it was one of those situations where it's like i would be really into him and then whenever he would like me back it was like i didn't i wasn't interested in the fact that he liked me oh you only wanted him you only were into him because you wanted him to reciprocate but the second that he did yeah that's such a weird yeah what a fucked up time to just that people have to go through what a fucked up time to be alive man we could have grown up in caves and we had to grow up in this bullshit this is so much better we have are you kidding me do these phones and tech it's like frying our brains how much tiktok do you have last night no i you know what i started doing is i brick when i go into my room to go to bed i brick

my phone so it blocks all my social media apps and so that i can't if i want to scroll before a bed or when i wake up i have to like read the news i got an alarm clock specifically so like a table one yeah like a little grew up on you grew up in the 90s lauren's day starts every morning with that thing that scene in the movie movies where they're like are fumbling for the clock and then they're like it's better than mine i have a fucking rooster and i can never find him no i've been trying to charge my phone in the bathroom so i haven't said oh you charge you leave it in the bathroom yeah i've been i've only done this like two nights in a row actually but uh it's been good because the amount of time i waste it's really the amount of times i open

with the brick thing like the amount of times i open instagram and then it says like you're bricked and like you it's so second nature that i do it like eight times you know what i mean like it's like even though i know that it's brick it's like that meme of the dog like where like its back is moving in one direction it's thing and it's like me like opening and closing instagram yes yeah it's like i just keep opening even though every time i'm like oh wait no i can't but so i like read the i read like a article last night i forgot what it was about but it was put me right to sleep i uh i've gotten into this new there's this account on spotify that puts like very niche sleep noises so it'll like you know normally it's like waves crashing or rain or whatever

yeah this guy combines them so last night i was listening to rain falling on a crackling fire oh that sounds fun it was awesome but wait isn't that just put it out well i i don't think he was doing i don't think that's how he did it he just took a he just took the two audio tracks and put them over each other got it but so what i didn't they're like 15 hours long so it takes a minute to load yeah and so i fall asleep like really fucking quickly so i like press play put my phone on the thing and then go to bed and i pressed it last night laid down and like i was already like semi-asleep after like three seconds and then a like loud ass like home depot ad because he has to he has to monetize this so the first two and a half minutes are ads and so now i know to skip

through that but it was pretty jarred wait you guys i just thought of a good idea i love when you have ideas can you please toss me that accelerator that orange accelerator behind you and i'm gonna make a mimosa with an accelerator an acceleramosa acceleramosa because when i have like one drink i start getting sleepy but now this will be perfect whoa nice snack i remembered what i was reading with the article i read last night it was about meth nice what's it what's going on what's hot in the streets right now that is about portland main actually it's like a new york times article but it's about better choose your next words yeah i know that a great city a lot i guess the you know for a lot of people meth has meth has taken

the place of fentanyl as like the predominant uh interest or like i don't know if it's i don't i don't know how they stack up like drug or the predominant like like thing that they lace it with no predominant like drug like people who were i guess they're seeing a rise in meth as opposed to fentanyl i don't know i guess which one is more but whereas fentanyl was like would make people very obviously like docile yeah like meth is the opposite kind of and so it's like a lot of these social workers and stuff that we're dealing with people on fentanyl it's like a whole it's like way it's a new it's way harder to deal with on the like helping side right with meth because these people are like freaking out as opposed to just being like it'd be like if a

veterinarian was used to like dogs eating weed brownies and they know how to treat that and then now they have like rabid dogs like okay i'm not totally exactly used to this and it's like the hospitals and stuff can't take them in when they're having like crazy freakouts like that because there's like literally nothing they can do to like contain them and there's no like there's no like narcan like there is for a fat overdose there's no cure for a mouth overdose yeah here is funny or like yeah the antidote antidote i guess yeah i was thinking every time i see a homeless guy because i like i feel like the the narrative that i always grew up with was like you know if if you were homeless you could like pull yourself up by your bootstraps and go like

figure it out and i saw one the other day which is obviously kind of like a not a great thing to believe but i was looking at a homeless guy the other day and i had the thought like if i became homeless right now i don't think i would ever not be like i i was like yeah i don't know where i would what i would do yeah like we we were we were lucky that we got set up for this like i think like i know how to i barely know how to get through life with like a normal amount of money and like a car and stuff like that like if i became homeless like even in this office right now like i've fired from this job like didn't have my car yeah like you can't i wouldn't be able to just walk into like a store and be like hire me they'd be like you don't have any you

don't even have the last job you applied for like like there's all this shit that like i had to like call my mom and be like what is this totally no it's so terrible i don't know how to do so sad i'm trying to become better about doing adult things and we're um basically i'm negotiating something and i realized like i don't know how to do any of that like my dad is very savvy at that and i called him and i was like hey could you do this and he was like i can but like it's pretty and he like laid it out but like what would you do if you didn't have like a like a dad or mom to like explain adult reddit like i'm like going through like reddit i go through a lot i love reddit i'm always on reddit yeah i feel like i try to like as much as i can i'm like i want to get

away from them yeah not like in my relationships but i well it's just cool that they know like they know stuff that i wish i knew yeah yeah no you're right i think that's yeah i don't think i'm sure they love that that you come to them all the time like i should talk i should call my parents more same i facetime my mom a lot i think if i facetime i call my dad i facetime my mom i think if i facetimed my dad just to chat he would love it but i think he would be like there's something else like i can call my mom without the expectation of like you want something or need something or like you're in trouble yeah i think if i facetimed my dad he would be like very worried i yeah i feel i've gotten better about that it's always funny for me like trying

to figure out like i try to like alternate who i call so that neither of them feel like left out yeah because they're all i mean they're always together so it's like oh how come he called me and not you all right let's get down to brass tacks which one do you love more um i love it's a tie really yeah lauren tie no of my parents of your parents yeah oh probably your mom don't answer it your mom it's a trap they're listening let's think my dad's listening if i had to choose between your parents yeah i would have to do a lot of soul searching because i get to i get very important things from both of them that's how i feel too like i think your dad makes me laugh more and your dad and i dm more i would good i'm glad you're not dming my mom yeah that would be i would

you would have to catch these hands oh wait a guy at the live show in boston after was like came up to me he's like yo great show like is that your mom by the way and i was like yeah and he was like listen i'm so sorry we were like i was with my buddies and like saying like oh there's no like single girls here and one of them was like what about her and so like i went up and like tried to hit on her oh and like we were kind of just joking around like i didn't realize and like i bet she was flattered yeah i know i was like that's actually she probably i actually forgot to bring it up to her she would have found that hysterical oh oh she didn't know i don't know if i know i think she yeah i'm sure she loved that yeah she was probably like i know

i'm with him yeah my dad was also there yeah i he was and my dad was ready to kill this fucker you know what's funny is like i literally i think like as long as there was no physical threat to your mom i think that's best case scenario i think your dad would welcome any like you know he's not like a validation i don't think he i don't think he would take any disrespect like right boys see what i'm working with i go back and forth on that uh like when i was we both we both all three of us grew up with very pretty mothers damn right and like that's a thing where you're like obviously it's weird when your friends would like joke about that but i think that's way better than the alternative of like will's mom will's mom is fucking a horse

jesus what what are you even saying if you read just that text that would be bad will's mom is fuck all right and we're back because we're probably gonna take that out soundbite there's a soundbite a half all right what's the best thing that's ever happened a hundred times well you know other than this the best thing that's happened a hundred times uh the olympics is pretty good it's no sayings that don't exist i would say snow sayings it doesn't honestly like ant colonies have you ever like seen those christmas no no christ that was a really good answer i was just what hanukkah hanukkah fourth of july thanksgiving fourth of july i'm so excited for summer you guys i feel like we had a fun summer

last summer we did have a fun summer last right yeah i think you were there uh oh yeah i was here last summer what i just feel like everyone's everyone's alive in the summer and i'm more excited for this summer than last summer same i uh i i like spring more than summer and here's why i was talking to armand about this summer it feels like there's so much happening oh one second will's ripping his eyelashes out let him rip dude it's my episode two he's stimming sorry why do you will's first 100th episode too um in summer i feel like you have to there's an expectation that like you have to go to these things that are happening yeah because the weather's nice and because there's like constantly stuff happening in the spring it's like really nice out and if

something cool happens great but like it's still everyone's still kind of like getting out of their shell yeah i hate when there's yeah i hate when there's too many like i get overwhelmed by like big events and stuff like that and parades and spectacles yeah one time at our uh i don't know what parade this was but the firefighters in cape used to throw can or throw candy out at this parade whatever candy ass i remember one of them will's hi no i'm not oh i forgot there's a triple dude i do you feel anything a little bit flan's been doing this new thing where every time every time she's been calling me a candy ass every time i get high around her she thinks it's really funny to like try and freak me out yeah and i am trying to play it cool but like it does freak me

out in what sense like i don't even want to do it to you like freaking the sheets you're not high yet so it'll be she'll she'll be like like i'll like take the edible or like rip my dab pen or whatever and then she'll wait for it to set it like she has like the presence to like let it fester a little bit presence and then and then she'll just be like oh my god i bet you're so high right now are you like freaking out and i'll be like no but like it's like does she indulge too not really okay i think she's like a total stoner i think the only work again i think the only time it's like but bleep that that's what i call it they call me in high school um i've only seen her do anything that would be considered partaking once

and it was like a it was like a micro second of my dad pen i think she was just curious micro second howdy y'all howdy we're the cowboys of twisted teak we i don't know why that's the thing we're doing but twisted tea is delicious uh i've got myself a little half and half right now yeah let me tell you this time of year oh my god absolutely perfect for it uh i was in south carolina sipping on some of these out on the water that's how it's meant to be that is how it is meant to be what's your favorite twisty flavor i've said it before and i'll say it again i like the half and here let's switch i got to have that well i just like i just said i like to have an app oh well i personally like to have enough

two but i made a half and a half two it's real brewed tea it's got a kick five percent abv it's full flavor and very refreshing no carbonation so you can drink them all day long if i'm drinking a carbonated alcoholic beverage all day i feel like the michelin man i'm fucking oh can i curse yes i think we said this every i fucking i fucking feel like the michelin man i'm poofing all over the place i feel bloated twisted tea zero carbonation it's made with real brewed tea so it goes down smooth and guys we love it get some twisted tea today keep it twisted brother all right guys we are here to talk about one of our new favorite partners dollar shave club guys facial hair is personal it grows from your face we all grow it shave it and style it differently and we

think that's pretty freaking great it all makes us more interesting personally i have been using the dollar shave club three in one freestyler and here's why i dropped my post shave do i don't know you got you got a razor on one end you got a trimmer on the other you can get all the stuff you need out of one thing i feel like i'm going to town on my face it's it's crazy it's fantastic i've got four different kinds of things i have two shave butters one post shave do and one of the deodorant nice i think i'm winning okay and for our full bearded friends out there give the double-headed electric trimmer a try this waterproof trimmer is made to divide and conquer so you can trim both upstairs and the basement if you know what i'm talking about gooch man i'm

talking g i'm talking b i'm talking bh i'm talking b bag two ads one trimmer zero awkward moments but don't take our word for it try for yourself dollar shave club products are now available everywhere so you can order from their website amazon or get them at your favorite retailer near you alternatively you can visit their site right now for 20 off your order of 20 or more and get your products delivered right to your door visit dollarshaveclub.com slash played it and use promo code played it for 20 off your order of 20 or more and remember whatever you shave welcome to the club let's get back into the episode this thing keeps breaking why are yours do you want a good one no it's unique i love it for what it is of solidarity okay

we're a hundred episodes in let's look a thousand episodes in we will now have kids and they're all going to be free a thousand episodes how long has it taken us to get to 100 just over a year and a half a year and a half but we also doubled our output so in theory it should take us like a year for the next i'm saying 10 000 yeah i know i'm trying to figure out what year it's going to be all right let's just say it's 20 it's 2032 i'm 31 that's like about right lauren's 45 okay we're all 30 we're all 30 so okay we all have a kid probably no okay we all have one kid we share we have a kid chair but uh what are our kids going to be like and are they going to be friends mine are going to be star athletes okay where do you guys want

to where do you want to raise your kids like house a house probably no like on the east coast I think it's the only way to do it I actually the more I live here the more I'm like I don't know why I would ever leave here well I think because we surround ourselves with normal people I think like getting your kid a normal upbringing in Los Angeles is pretty hard

I don't know about that I feel like a lot of my friends here are from here and they're normal kids yeah aren't Sophia and Diego and Lily and all that oh Lily's from here yeah what do you mean the money thing like I feel like no no no like them

like like when i was a kid i didn't know none of my friends had like nice cars like one kid had a nice car and like that what there was no effect on your social status based off of like money and i feel like out here kids get into like a weird like rat race i feel like that's like that can be anywhere yeah yeah i feel like that could i don't know not in maine in maine it was it was about it was about the thickness the thickness of your flannels yeah the size of your boots and the size of your balls the only two things you were judged on the scalp of the moose you shot yeah come into class like get that out of here man sleeve is covered in blood yeah i feel like there are i mean there i'm sure there are high schools where that's the case but i think

that's probably anywhere and also like i think there's probably parts of la that aren't like that i don't know but you have to send your kid to private school out here for the most part no you don't there's really good public schools in california at least in la i think right no i don't think so really i thought that was like the whole thing i can't remember who i was i mean it definitely it's just a city it definitely there's just pockets and it depends on the area i just know the high schools that i pass look uh pretty grim venice high school looks fucking that one looks sick i passed i live right by there and like everyone all the kids walking it looks so cool so cool all their fits i know no it's like a tv show mrs craven was at she took us out to dinner the

other night and she's a principal yeah remember like i showed you the the chart that kids left in her bathroom was like what are you here to do like shit vape piss or jerk off um and i was like is that a thing now like our kids just like cooler or what are you looking for bud um it's behind me i'll get it while you're talking um no no do you guys want a crispy cream donut i brought will so baked was like uh donut i'm in will so baked he's like uh don't look what i brought wait that's i'm sorry i didn't know you were gonna wait you are the sweetest lauren went above and beyond today guys i bought them bro the glazing is unreal no on the donut i bought them crispy cream well not just a donut just to celebrate all right yeah and these are also for

you guys you can't have them though you can't have them but you can look at them can't have but they're for you oh yeah this one oh fuck do you guys want one though this one is a different color crispy green yeah that's what i told you that one's pink i'm glad you got so i'm glad you stayed cool we'll remain we'll remain calm when it came out a different color and oh it is a different color didn't panic at all all over my crunch uh yeah i would love one i had such a okay i might as well give these to you guys now too when i was at ralph's yeah um lauren cars lauren okay so for the audio listening lauren just pulled out three new hot wheels and when i was picking these out there was a sweet old yeah she wasn't that old but she goes are

you buying those for your son i go no i'm buying them for my friends but like they're yeah i was like they're essentially children no i go they're my friends they're like my brothers you're not far off and she just it was very cute what brothers brothers and it was just sweet and then when she walked away she's like you have a or she's like god bless you i just like those interactions no here sometimes i say god bless you and i don't know why after someone sneezes well yes because i'm the bad boy of podcasting you nailed it but then i also thought this one that one i like it better okay i like i like that one because i'm the bad boy of podcast lauren these are so cool they're going right on the shelf for everyone to see

oh i opened mine already oh i should have showed him up close someone has been saying that this pot is blurry and it's it's so blurry when you look at it yeah i guess it's kind of blurry in real life but that's that's what they say about bigfoot yeah what if what if bigfoot just is blurry we're talking about first kisses and that made me think of like going to dances yeah remember one time i uh was wearing gym shorts at a dance that's like yeah it was a white it was a white wait why are we wearing gym shorts it's like a white out dance okay and we're just that was like the only white stuff we had and uh i was dancing with this girl named julia slow dance there was no grinding at the school lab not that i would have had the balls to no pun intended but uh we

were slow dancing and i got a little excited and uh i just got a i got a boner and then i had to i had to lean back like like one of these yeah so that like like where my boner stopped was where my shorts would naturally what's where was she facing we're slow dancing so i'm holding her like god holding her like that to leave a little room for jesus and uh i remember looking over and one of my teachers was chuckling he definitely knew what was going on i feel like i never had like one of those classic like got a boner and got called on in class or anything oh yeah like come up and solve the equation you're like rocking like a huge woody no never tell you the first first walk i ever went on with a girl i was so scared of getting a book like we were gonna go

walk around orland okay she met me at my house and we're gonna walk around and uh i was so worried about getting a boner i wore two pairs of spandex i think you did the right i think you did the right thing isn't it crazy that there was just a point in your life where like if you saw anything remotely hot you were just like i like now i feel like i can get through the day and very like i don't remember last boner i got at work okay like at school at school i was getting them like left and right analytics meeting yesterday that was hot yeah when armand showed our stats from q2 got the playmates have been blessing us well apparently we're we're his favorite meet our analytics guy we're his favorite meeting because we're the only ones that go up

every week is that true he told me we were his favorite because we we have the most consistent growth well i just love the playmates i had some consistent growth in that meeting i'll tell you jack do you want one of these donuts they're yeah i can't right now this morning i went to blow my nose my nose started bleeding i got a little bit on my sleeve i had uh i remember did i tell you like my i went to get my suits for the live tour and they were just so moldy no moldy suit isn't this disgusting yeah they were hanging in my closet and my suit jackets were both just covered in mold do you not have mothballs in your closet no do you have you do you have mothballs wait is that a good thing or bad thing no it's like to like it's like a thing

your grandma puts in your closet to like keep everything like fresh pull up mothballs wait should i have that i don't know i mean i my window was like these like things have you ever smelled mothballs lauren oh wait i think my i think i've seen people wash their stuff with these and then oh yeah have you ever smelled mothballs no oh no this is different but you can you you know the smell right it's like a drug fuck you one of you guys supposed to say my grandma used to get me with this all the time she go have you ever smelled mothballs i go yeah she goes how'd you get your nose between their legs that's good damn it well anyway scott damn it it happened it happened to scott too they made a scott they made like his backpack under his bed was like

really like i don't know we must be furry like white and furry and fuzzy uh not furry like not it wasn't like molds like white furry and fuzzy it wasn't like that advanced because like i had just worn that suit like a month before wait was it just like blotches i don't understand i don't it's gross i don't really know how to describe it but where was the mold all over that's just those two pieces though i looked through everything else was fine and there's no mold on the wall or anything maybe something to do with like clothes that are constantly in rotation it doesn't have a chance to but but they should tell your landlord yeah well it's probably too like dank and you're so now i run fans and i leave the closet open and i can leave the window fully open

and like we live in a pretty dry climate so it shouldn't happen anyway moral of the story is today when we were like we're in suits i was like oh fuck my i don't have my jacket so uh this is from the office it matches and it matches my pants pretty well right yeah also my pants also in the closet for the exact same amount of time no mold interesting that's weird it's very bizarre maybe of course i found out while we were leaving for the live show which i needed a suit board but then i just took this i don't have a suit like this right you only have a sucker i have i have i have tons of jackets i don't have a because i never was in i never did like an internship i never had like any like business to conduct i got these for when i worked in the

capital that's what i mean like i think the only reason you need you get one as an adult is like okay i have a job that requires one or a wedding or a wedding but like like i have enough fun pants and enough fun jackets that i can throw something together but like i never yeah it's funny to be like i don't own one of those suits and then wearing like the craziest you skipped a step moths got me pretty good earlier i didn't get the joke but i you don't you like you understand that it was a good joke without understanding what he's referencing does that make sense sure like it landed hard enough that i was with other people no with like maybe it's just the timing maybe just tell us what it is so i was i was wearing this and he was like

where'd you come from a scotch ad and i like started cracking up and then i was walking away and i was like i don't get that at all like a commercial no but i'm saying like he was clearly referencing a character from a commercial like like or just someone that looks like they would be in that yeah yeah yeah i i kind of understand that what'd you come from a scotch what'd you come from a scotch i love mods he's so funny i'm a big believer in like i call me the way you package uh the way you package one of those types of jokes yes it's more important than the actual contents yeah where'd you come from where'd you come from a scotch scotch ad i was like come on come on give me something go cry in the office also we can't pay your bonus this month i don't

we can't obviously can't say who this was but we were talking to a guy the other day and at our company no no no outside but he's in the same line of work as us and he was like uh was it james charles you were there you'll understand i was with james charles did you ever see when uh james's shirt popped open and and no but google it pull this video pull it up his shirt pops open and he covers his boobs like he's like a woman who like can't have his nipples out in public and all the people were no it's that bottom one oh yeah it's this one also you guys you want to know what my favorite thing one of my favorite things about today's episode is i think you're gonna say about us after can we do our favorite things about each other yeah yeah yeah but when when i don't

have to google things every five seconds i just think it's more fun just to have the yes the communication and not okay let's watch but anyway lauren lauren doesn't like know how to learn doesn't like google i don't like google lauren doesn't know how to like watch the watch the right screen well said and you know what i what was that yeah hysterical you know what i mean like yeah he's funny i like him because like if i was in his position and that video came out about me i would probably do everything in my power to like like get attention off of it no he makes fun of himself all the time i think is a very admirable quality to be like i agree yes that was funny i'm a character i'm like a funny character he's very down to make all right

yeah we should get him on the pot welcome back say though who were we talking to oh so we're talking to this guy and he was like you know kind of giving us advice about you'll just can you just hang with me you'll understand i know i'm trying to think of who it was he's giving us good giving us kind of advice about like navigating this weird line of work that we're in and he was like you know i like set goals for myself personally i don't go like crazy with the cars or stuff like that and then we go out to drive away and he has like the sickest porsche in the world yeah but like to him it was angus to him just say it was angus it was to him that's not going crazy yeah what's relative yeah that's what i'm saying like like it would be sick to get

to a point where like the coolest car in the world is like i'm keeping it under 100 you want you want to know what i was thinking about when i was trying to pick out your hot wheels wait lauren can we stop you for a second what we always want to know what you were thinking about your mind is fascinating and we don't get to see enough of it so please i don't thank you please don't speak for both of us be serious we love when you talk okay of course it is funny it is funny like some sometimes we're like enough horsing around i was dying at the last episode or i think i'm editing it right now for 99 when you're like we're screaming at me like what the voice you've been doing lately where it's like your mom yelling at you yeah that my mom my mom it's so funny i've

only seen it three times in my life her whole face which is the size of a normal human woman's face becomes huge it's ginormous because women have giant faces it becomes the size of a dime it's all of her features are squished to the middle and she goes your face gets so red when you do that yeah i got excited okay well we had a sorry one more thing we had a thumbnail woman come in cheyenne she's a real woman she just does thumbnails that was that was a cool meeting it was awesome yeah but she made i for the first time in my life i felt seen where she was like there are people that run red and you have to be you have to color correct it because if you go too far it'll make them look like a tomato she goes like

personally i run red and it was supposed to be a meeting where we were just like listening to her or whatever and i felt like i had to chime in i was like thank you i have the same problem and she was she like did like one of these i do turn your reds down sometimes you turn my reds down yeah good really yeah do you ever turn my red up no can you for this next just for one shot make make will as green as possible and me as red as possible oh christmas oh my god yeah that's awesome all right and or comes back season two on tuesday should we start wearing these all the time i feel no well i hate dressing up it's my favorite thing i think i like dressing up too because every day i wear i guess i'm still wearing bergenstocks but

i wear like the same i wear like bergenstocks like shorts and a t-shirt or bergenstocks car hearts and a t-shirt and i like fall into this routine like when i sat down at my desk even though i was writing like writing stuff that like doesn't mean anything to anyone i was just like i am going fat like it felt like i was a real i feel like we're on our a game yeah i don't want to ever do this again but we are going to start doing themes yes like i want to all start matching colors or you know what jane actually an idea my sister gave was uh our sister our sister i get to pick out like we all get to pick each other's outfits for the day because i definitely have some like t-shirts or things like one of you could fit into like i've oversized shirts oh we bring

yeah we bring an outfit for each other wouldn't that be funny yeah that'd be fun awesome i would make i think you would look cool you should start wearing carhartt pants i probably would look good in them i think we should do jinkos wait what are those again they're the giant ones you can like fit skateboards in the pockets they're so big oh yeah i would probably look good in those um i think we should for a couple episodes we should pick a movie secretly and we all or like a theme or something we all dress on that theme or movie and then the playmates have to guess what we're dressed as all right can i go first jango unchained wait you guys well no i'm guessing for you this here you guys i just thought i just thought of a perfect halloween costume

gone with the wind gone with the wind time out time out willie i love me a good bit of mandingo fighting is that what i've never seen the movie you've been lying what when i ask you to list your movies the first no it's inglorious bastards and then rango django unchained that is a great movie django unchained is as good maybe better than inglorious bastards also jack this is so delicious with this and that we were saying we were saying willie willie asked me if he should pour his cripple in his accelerator or vice versa and i said we settled on it probably wasn't a good idea but it's like for loco for weed and you just be really confused about how you feel it's reverse i'm so excited about how calm i am right now what's his name what's the friend's name in

ferris oh it's uh cameron that what if we did that for halloween just wear a red wings jersey wait i want to be harry potter that could already have the whole thing i know just as like a work thing would be funny wait oh i'm obsessed with her yeah yeah all right i'd be cameron will would be ferris and you'd be slim i feel like that would be fun i feel like will's more cameron oh i'm okay oh my god wait lauren yes pull up pull up a picture of cameron and then i'm gonna airdrop you you guys told me this was a fake guy i'm gonna airdrop you a picture of my friend alec riggle and tell me they don't look fucking exactly the same okay um or wait isn't that who phil looks like no lauren's lauren's phil look like lauren think lauren lauren think lauren

thinks that phil looks like um ray leota no that was me i don't know who that is yeah that's will Will said that. That's what I said. Phil is better looking than Ray Liotta. Yeah, okay, but he can still look like him. He said he didn't see it. My mom said he didn't see it. She didn't see it.

Okay. I've always wanted to be here for Hollis. Wait, Lauren. Did you know that Ferris Bueller killed a guy? Yeah, he killed a guy with his car, I believe, in Ireland. Lauren, pull this up. This is my friend Alec Riggle. and put this next to cameron and tell me this is not the same guy uh he looks more like this

other dude i know that looks like just like a regular okay wait let me let me help you out a little bit but he looks seven foot tall he's a very handsome guy i don't think he looks like cameron that's i couldn't find a great picture of him but what what will help a little bit is he we used to say that he looked like him so he kind of nailed the cameron impression okay and when he does that you can true yeah it's like when i do um when i do uh can i facetime him and see if he'll do his cameron impression sure sure when you do what i can i screen share to there lauren um airplay i'm gonna do my dick van dyke while you're doing that okay yeah oh baby it's a diaper dandy i love when you do that wait how do i airplay yo adrian yo adrian take them

glasses off lauren how do i how do i airplay i don't know where or wait how about i'll just scream america wait lauren can you facetime from this laptop i don't think we're logged in the iCloud, so probably not. I need him to do this. I need... Yeah, no, but... I need you, I need you, I need you. You want to FaceTime your friend right now?

And just have him do his... Yeah, I feel like this isn't going to be... The payoff is not going to be there. It's also like the more buzzed I get, this is exactly how it is to hang out in real life. You could, dude, pull up this YouTube video. You're going to love it. We've got to FaceTime my buddy.

He sounds just like Cameron from Ferris Bueller. Dude, you're going to love my buddy. You're going to love my buddy, Alec Riggle. He sounds exactly like Cameron What are you talking about Can I just get the nachos When Cameron was In Egypt's land

I've never been to Egypt Really Why do we have a podcast Two unworldly guys You know I've never been to Egypt Never been to Madagascar Really Fascinating

yeah did you uh lauren's twisting my burqa twist and shout that's in that movie yeah that's come on come on come on come on lauren now come on lauren what else is going on did you know that was a real parade in chicago no that was just us singing oh we should have a playdate parade covering my what are you talking about what are you talking about it oh in the movie did you say we should have a parade yeah why not yeah and and i'm down but so it was a real there was just a real parade happening they got him on a float in the real parade and then like when they go up to the construction workers and they're like dancing those are just real guys that were like grooving out that's awesome i love grooving out what's

your favorite part about grooving oh wait we didn't do our favorite welcome back to favorite things about each other i'll start i'm gonna go to the bathroom you guys got this i have to go oh i was kind of joking but i do kind of have to pee last call is an after alcohol product that actually works it's inspired by hangover remedies that they use in korea they're super popular there everybody takes them after a night out drinking and we are trying to get that to catch on here and we are lucky to have last call here to be on the journey it's better than alternatives like electrolytes because it contains dhm which helps your body break down alcohol even faster and it's a time-tested

ingredient that has been used in east asia for centuries this i i can now swear on it from experience you did a little r&d i did a little r&d me and my friend scott took some after our big night uh we were drinking all day and went out that night and we got home and we took these And we both, I swear, Scott said it before I did the next day. He said, I think that shit actually worked. I feel a lot better. And I said, me too. And then we kissed.

Guys, go order some at trylastcall.com slash playdate for 25% off your first order. FYI, the code automatically applies using the links. Discount code is playdate. Try it this weekend. Take it out with you so you feel better in the morning after a night out on the town. Pop it before, during, or after you drink. I recommend right after and then a lot of water and head to bed. Head to lastcall.com slash playdate for 25% off your first order.

Let's get back into the episode. I think if... New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range. Infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins. Like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function. And Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving.

Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight. our new double espresso with ginseng extract whatever lies ahead don't change your morning let your morning change you discover coffee plus on espresso.com i i think if i was gay uh i would give just the mean i would give the meanest one possible the meanest what you know say it for say it for the folks at home oh that first part wasn't recorded we were talking we were talking bjs and all i'm all i'm saying is if i was if i was playing if i was playing offense i think i could do a bang up job yeah yeah you've uh i think you okay you have i think you yeah i think you would do a really good job i think most women do not like to give blow jobs i think that

i would do a killer job i think i think i think you would do a great job i think word would word would spread word would spread fast i think you're in it lauren is that where you're laughing yeah i think you who's the guy that's on the other end i don't know i'm right here and you forget about me if you walked in on me just given will the time of his life do you think you would tell anyone um probably not because well would you want me to tell people i don't know that's a good question well if you and i were if i was getting like world altering mind altering dome from you yes i would want to her to tell everyone no i want i want nobody to know that the that rusty featherstone gave me like mind-numbing world world altering slack one yeah obviously

i wanted to tell everyone blowjob could change the world there's the right person it's the it's the ripple effect like the log line of a movie i wouldn't watch which is just a movie this this summer warner brothers presents one blow job could change the world yeah yeah uh no let's let's explore that because i've explored it in my head oh you want to explore that you walked in on me giving will oh my god a grade a are you getting horny again yeah pervy uh uh someone the 100th episode it's the 100th episode he's gonna get a little pervy obviously it's the 100th episode i'm gonna talk about giving will a hummer a hummer and these you put your face in their balls you know what's funny is i think we we do it me less than you guys but i think we do a

good i do a better job staying composed and like not showing my true character on this podcast as much but like you get a little drunk you're like i can't say that i'm just saying like i restrain from talking about like like humming on will's balls and then you give me three glasses champagne i'm like i'd do it if he asked if he was in a pinch i would do it i would let you do it if i was i would watch if i was in a pinch and lauren would watch if you're in a pinch okay okay you find out that will and i have a scheduled bj you would want to be in attendance what do you not like about this conversation might be the only time i want the roadmap all right wait let's do what we love about each other also now that we learned babies watch this we have to be babies

so many babies we've heard that most of our listeners are in fact babies really advanced babies that learn that know how to use google chrome really tall babies i don't know i don't know man i'm spitball that's creepy to imagine a really tall baby oh pull up a pull up get out of my room tall kid no that's not what i said at all lauren you can get your wish oh that's a tall baby now that wow it's a normal baby lauren wow say it lauren pull up uh pull up get out of my room tall kid this is your wish go to videos oh my gosh he's really tall yeah click on this yeah Abby, I want you to meet my colleague, Dr. Hamilton. And I'll like you to get the fuck out of here.

It's all right. Get out of here! Get out of my room! That's what... Get out of here, bitch! Get out of here! That's just... Is that when you grew up?

That's my buddy. That blew Will's mind. You cut to Will's face, he was like... god forbid i have a little fun it was the face it was the face someone makes on like the velocicoaster you're like upside down you're like that's the face you'd be making every day if you would get with me man i'd be giving you i'd be giving you velocicoaster hummers i know dude and i'm ready all right we've been beating around the bush we're gonna go in a circle and then we're gonna shift it lauren you say your favorite thing about will will says about me i said about lauren

and then we'll switch um wait i don't want to go first i need to i need to say my favorite no what you you don't think you like anything about me no i just i need a second my favorite thing are we talking work are we talking personal anything my favorite thing about lauren is if i work late uh you guys are all gonna hear about it i found out lauren sneakily like multiple times a week has to be here until like 8 30 and you don't say a peep about it and i appreciate and you get everything out on time i appreciate that about you thank you because you present this very la la la la but you're a hard worker i'm a very good balance thank you because i don't like hard workers that tell you they're a hard worker i'm gonna fuck i don't want to hear about it i

like that lauren is fun all the time but gets it done when we don't like you do your stuff and we don't have to talk about it i agree thank you um will okay one of my favorite things about will is i think you are not afraid to just like be yourself completely and like just give your opinion on anything like you're just very straightforward i feel like you never have like a front in any way like you're just always yourself and very transparent and honest and that is a great trait to have thank you i appreciate that all right we should roadmap it up i'm open no uh i love the the like genuine like eagerness and curiosity with which i think you approach pretty much everything in life thank you you're down for whatever and always uh just like want

to understand things and i think that leads to some really fun conversations and i appreciate that now we have to go the other way no we're doing it this way now yeah my favorite thing about will i've noticed this a lot more lately will is better at articulating his thoughts than i am and we'll be in a meeting and i am trying to get something out and no one is understanding what i'll say and will takes over without it being like without it feeling like he's calling me dumb you know what i mean like he'll he'll say what i was thinking or something better but he'll pose it as he's like speaking on behalf of me and i like that that's funny i'll be trying to get a i'll be trying to get a thought out and instead of being like what i think he's trying to

say is which is kind of like putting me down yeah he'll be like we talked about this even if it wasn't something we talked about yeah uh thank you lauren will my turn oh man where do i even start um i'm hammered i think i think that uh come on well it's just there's so many to choose from yeah no i know um i think that i like that you're someone who likes to have fun and i think you seek that out and i feel like we we just like it's just a lot of laughs and a lot of fun and like we do and it's fun that we get to hang out outside of work sometimes and like you're always down for our really stupid ideas sometimes and help facilitate them thanks and uh yeah i think just having that approach of like

i just want to have fun in this life is a good thing to have thank you lauren jack lauren do jack okay um wait i actually do appreciate that though because i feel like that's how i'm always trying to tell myself i want to be like we're only here i was i saw some video about this like we are here on this earth to like have fun and just like offer gifts to people and like be kind and make connections and i feel like i take everything so seriously and i'm always so stressed about everything but it's like we are just here to have fun so i'm glad that you that's how you perceive me that's not how i feel but that's great well if it's something you've been thinking about then it's working thanks showing thank you the efforts that do me okay uh my my favorite thing

about jack this is kind of similar to what will was saying but you do have a very whimsical approach to life and i feel like you were very glass half full kind of guy in nine out of ten situations like you were always just you were very positive like you're one of the most positive people i feel i know and it encourages me to just like you yeah you just have you have a good energy that you like rip off on people thank you i'm working on the one out of ten though because i do someone was telling me the other day that i when it doesn't go the very fun way i think i swing too far in the other direction and then i'm a little i get i get cranky usually but i think we can all be cranky sometimes lauren and i've been talking about this lauren and i were talking about debbie

ryan yesterday is that disney channel yeah yeah it was when the it was before the vancouver olympics and um there's this picture lauren posted a picture on her story and i made a comment i said she looked very beautiful but she was making a little bit i wasn't pull the picture i'm looking at it now that's pull the picture up no jack's been doing this so bashful lauren pull the picture up we'll put it right here for the viewers at home but i need you to show will this lauren posted a picture where she looked very chic very stylish very beautiful but she was making a little debbie ryan face and it was cracking me up can you please pull it up so mean no not now what's on my story i want people to find it right here but she's she's in the mirror she's like i had a good fit

on i was feeling myself man you were serving c i was serving c uh should we road map it up guys Yeah, we should roam. This actually might be a record. How long have we been going? 122. Already? Wow, it didn't even feel like that long. No.

This is an all-time roadmap record, which is perfect for the 100. A-T-R-R. And we got four drafts. Buckle up. We're going to be here until Christmas. I honestly feel bad for the play. We're aura farming. All right, roadmap.

Right? Dude, yeah, man. We're aura farming. Oh, the fun part's over. Yeah. I'm just kidding. No, no, no. I'm just kidding.

Today. No, I'm kidding. For the record, I always have fun on the scripted part of the podcast. Yeah. Or not scripted, but the structured part of the podcast. Getting down to business. But today we're playing the hits, and I'm going to have more fun. It's going to be a lot of fun.

Lauren, you're going to. Oh, my God. Holy. You didn't do any of the drafts. No, I did all of them. But I would say in my head, it was just the draft. we have like like maybe like an hour and a half left of this we have an hour okay we have an hour we have less than an hour all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna

hear your pitches followed by our pitches followed by two permitting divisions of the building department yep one from will one for me followed by our pitches followed by this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and rocks in your yard there's rocks in my yard guy whose landscapers lawnmower just broke this guy telling me there's rocks in my yard i when i was a kid there was a there was a rock that poked out of the ground oh no my dad would pay me 20 bucks to mow the lawn and four consecutive years the first lawnmower i forgot about the rock and i ran over and it did like fucked up the blade all right then we're gonna do everyone's favorite segment teach me something followed by guys we are playing

the hits today we're doing sayings that don't exist country songs that don't exist slang words that don't exist and rom-coms that don't exist and let me tell you there might be a couple special guests coming in we got liam for rom-coms oh i forgot i think billy is doing slang did you talk to him about that we'll find out did you we'll find out okay let's hear some pitches yeah i will be randy i guess for once you know what fuck it i'm simon it's the hundredth episode i'm gonna be i'm gonna be guy fieri who could i who should i pull it off but good luck uh flavor town oh baby just made just made you eat those words it's a diaper dandy uh lauren you can be be... Lauren, who do you want to be?

I don't know. Jim Nance. Lauren, you can be Jim Nance. Yes, and I'll be Phil Simms. I showed Ben Barrett the chicken tenders in cars thing, and he lost his fucking marbles. New crispy tenders at CarMax. What? That can't be right. They're putting tenders in cars?

Okay. Somebody ring me in. Big 100 pitch submissions. We're going to do 100 pitch submissions. rapid fire yeah all right cottage cheese for dogs first house for a dog house for a bird house for a boat house for a boat horse for a boat boat for a horse for a horse sorry okay first pitch is from julia buckholtz buckholtz i'm sorry sorry for butchering your last name she says hey jack in

the beanstalk beanstalk jack i can be i can finally be myself feels no we don't want that feels good to say i'm jack finally what is the worst part about having a long layover at the airport it's a really good question oh oh i have it willie uh like your gate is you have to go find an open seat at a gate that's not yours because your gate is full with another flight and then like you're constantly moving spots sometimes when i'm at the airport i will go i will go sit at a like more fun destination than where i'm going one flight was going to key west a couple months ago sat down with the key west people for a little bit and then i had to go to chicago or wherever we're going oh that's cool gross uh chicago's so gross i love chicago you see the

bowl of chicago no big fat l they're out of the playoffs i don't watch sports but that sucks yeah uh i love chicago i went there once uh julia says the worst part about having a long layover is not knowing what to do with a couple hours on your hands yeah hear me out roller coasters each airport has a specific roller coaster that you get to mark off your airport bucket list two hours before you need to make your connecting flight hop in line and go for the ride of a lifetime look forward to your layover with airport coasters ben and denver yeah sick upside down loops been lax yeah i don't know how they do it but going underground was so cool i don't know i'm high level and if you don't want airport pitches this podcast isn't for you keep up the

good work fellas yes what's her first name again julia julia i loved the pitch when you doubled down and said that if you don't like airport talk find another fucking podcast you made you made you in my heart i'm so in on this we were i had a when we were in the detroit airport a few months ago or like a month ago i was stuck with a long layover and i was saying to william angus i was like they should have a big just a big field where we could go like kick around a ball or something like you know what i mean because that's you're so like contained too sometimes i get like claustrophobic when i'm in an airport that long i feel like it wouldn't even be that expensive either just just like i don't a roller coaster would be awesome but like you don't think putting

an airport safe roller coaster would be like a big field idea just like an outdoor area where you could go sit outside for a second there are some airports where where you can be outside and that always felt like illegal to me yeah the first time i was outside at jfk i was like this is weird yeah like sometimes i'll get the ones where you have to like walk down like on the tarmac to board it yeah it always feels like what if i went what if i took a sharp left right so here's my question is the roller coaster through the airport depends on the airport in lax it goes underground denver mommy ride you guys ever been on mommy no don't spoil it actually no there actually is a spoiler so if you ever ride it i don't want you to know that so i won't tell you you're done okay

there's a huge there's a huge like twist though in the first not physical twist but like you wouldn't see it coming and it scared the the first time it happened to me almost shit my pants oh my god i shipped my pants oh my god i love it julia will or lauren let's hear another i've had the most insane knots in my back recently knots in back oh they hurt so bad if anyone is a massage they're actually no you're gonna you're a crowdsource of masseuse any playmates want to give you a massage oh what don't look at my arm that was a compliment i didn't mean like big no i i've been so conscious like oh my back but you were like showing us your tricep on you're like oh my back hurts oh thanks thank you okay thank you julia next pitch is from

tj keifer you're gonna poop no i got scared why i thought that you didn't like me saying that and then i was like i wouldn't like someone to point at something about my body that i didn't like i was trying to make it as a compliment oh well thank you you're very toned arms thank you i appreciate your arms will my arms are ass bro honestly my arms are ass cheeks everywhere they're not good okay i don't have good arms okay fine all right fine this is the podcast where i say my arms are shit i have horrible arms they're tiny and they're have i think you have beautiful arms really yeah i we've been trying out we honestly we've talked about it a little bit behind i don't know if lauren and i've talked about it but a handful of us have talked about

it behind your back now your arms but you're oh that was like a whole thing but you you've been getting i think you're getting in better shape than you realize thank you you've been looking good lately it's uh yeah i mean i've i've stuck with the uh the running so do you run every day four days a week what jesus that's great are you gonna run a marathon i might i gotta start with the half but um killing it yeah i'm averaging four days a week for the year i've run almost 200 miles this year so far damn wait what are your runs range from my baseline is like 5k but um on wednesdays i do like six because i do the run club so i did that last night oh has that have you met any hot singles yet no we went again didn't talk to anyone yeah you gotta what's so

odd is like you're like you are in my head much more social than me and that to me seems like a very out of like is it because they are also like runners like i feel like in a normal setting when i've seen you in social situations you you not talking to someone has never been an issue i feel like uh yeah i what's intimidating about it i don't know i don't know is it because scott's quiet no i don't know you guys are both handsome guys i i think well this is also a new thing that i'm joining so it's like obviously i'm sure some people that are new too but it's kind of like maybe we you don't get our sea legs yeah yeah so i feel like i'm a little more hesitant and then it's like once you've seen someone a few times it'd be like you could like

we've made a we made a few friends just some dudes i actually think in the long run this might be a better strategy for making friends and for like anything romantic because like if two new guys join in me like we're a wrecking ball through this thing everyone would be like that's it's also an overwhelming amount of people i think that's also it's not like even a crew it's like it's like a thousand people where do you guys meet in end uh it's kind of behind our old office it's like in one of those parking lots like where the kind of like where i think it's where they do like the flea market or not the not the flea market but the i know you're talking at the end of abakini no but i feel like you and i do best in like 7 to 14 people yeah i think

like like i think we can both do well in that environment this is like you'd have to just walk up and like cold open i crumble in a crowd yeah i go but it's like if i can get these seven these seven people to understand where i'm coming from i think we're both very likable but i think in a crowd it is overwhelming yeah yeah second pitch i'm working on it i'll get there okay i where was i tj tj says tj keifer hi ed ed and eddie eddie ed gred what is the worst part i'm gred i'm gred what's the worst part about finding a new job oh uh um we are the wrong guys to ask but i think what i've heard from my friends who have applied to jobs it's like you think you can go in and like pick what you want but like just

trying to figure out even where to start seems like a nightmare wait what was the question again what's the worst part about finding a new job um having to do your resume again and you're like a cover if there's a cover letter that's game over well i won't do it specific to each company yeah yeah awful um tj says it is not knowing what life is really like in this new role so enter vision cast this is a job finding website that works essentially the same as your typical one but each job has a live stream connected to someone who is currently in that role so you can see what that position truly entails in the day-to-day thinking about becoming a this is weird that we're just talking about this thinking about becoming a hibachi chef

search for the role in your local area and tune into a current chef at the job who's wearing meta glasses or something and see what it's like marine biologist trash man scientist heck even a mailman this is great because it can be a stream as you wish type of service where people register independently and work with the cameras they have uh in other words uber drivers don't get provided cars the possibilities are endless get to know your future role in first person with vision cast which is actually a really good idea no i love this but i feel like i feel like the practical version of it isn't that you're like tuning in live it's probably looks like this is a day in the life yeah like they have an employee do that the live aspect weeds out any like we're just

gonna have this guy go focus on making the job look yeah you're as good as it is that's a fantastic no i love it but also like if you're an employee like you're not going to say yes to wearing well they're working independently from the company so the the employee signs up for the service and it's getting paid by the service not the company because the company has ulterior company would have to sign off on it then maybe but like if we were i guess we work a weird job like if i was walking around with like a gopro on my head i'm just thinking like at a restaurant like they're not gonna like you can't just go and film the kitchen yeah you yeah maybe the maybe the the company gets a cut but i think like where you get your money is you know how you get honest

reviews is like there's a guy who this job sucks and he kind of wants to expose that yeah and then there are guys where it's like this is awesome and no one understands how awesome this is i think yeah you'd have to figure it out because i think companies would be very cracking down but if the companies get involved big fucking you know how much i hate big tech well don't even get me started to be too yeah yeah and they're gonna i feel like it would speak highly to the company that they want to be a part of this yeah it's almost like yeah it's almost like more more uh more show more telling if they don't want to be a part of it where they're like we can't yeah right right but i think if you would have to somehow find a way to prevent them from just being like all right

we're gonna make this day look yeah yeah yeah i don't know how yeah i had a friend named murda and uh we you beat no we call everyone called him murder he got he got the nickname murder in high school because he looked exactly like murder beats uh desperately wanted to get away from the nickname showed up to rollins and this he was a year older than me and immediately all the kids on lacrosse team started calling him murder again how do they know because he just it's uncanny so it was like a murder beats i don't even know what he looks like if anyone knows he honestly when i met him it didn't look that much alike but he looked enough like that guy that they called him murder in high school and then he got away from the nickname wanted to go by colin and they called

him murder again at rollins that's funny and where was this going oh he would disappear like like most nights that you went out with him yeah and we were like if we can just get a gopro on him it would be the funny because you would come back and you'd have all these like awesome war stories from like what happened yeah the night before and you were like we just need one night we need to get like a chest mounted gopro on and put it on it'd be horrifying can i pitch you really and lauren hit me what what is uh what is like an offer that a bar can have that would entice you to come into the bar they're doing a promotion they're doing what yeah free drinks free drinks lauren what is it called free nacho bar if you don't know free let's stay on the free drinks

thing lauren what is it called when when you get a free drink i was never into the do drop in what is it called when you get there's an acronym for it b-o-g-o bogo oh bogo i am pitching a new take on the buy one get one format we hey lauren according to the dude i'm looking at the calendar just keep talking she's recording popcorn no what did you say she's recording popcorn what were you talking about you said lauren you're recording the popcorn what did you say that what i said sounded like i thought you said popcorn all right i said we're recording the podcast because i thought that makes way more okay i am pitching this is a an idea for any bar any bar can use this i don't want any money okay i just want free beers if i

come in after if you use this idea yeah you heavily emphasis heavily advertise buy one get one beers your bar is now packed everyone is like not free we're doing buy one get one technically you buy one beer and you get one beer so it's like it's it is just it's it's reframing the normal transaction of paying for a beer so it's like got it you bought one beer here's one you bought one beer i'm gonna give you one beer so it's like a trick it's not a trick it's sort of a swindler's trick it is it is a a tactic to get people through the door they it sounds way shadier when we're wearing suits yeah it's okay yeah i don't know what i was gonna say you're not breaking any rules by giving them a beer at a fair market price uh when they paid for a beer at a fair you

realize that this is just gonna immediately piss off your clientele no they'll be like they'll be like oh you guys here's here's the deal you hire fun bartenders who understand that they now have to get one over on you so as a way to make it up to the customer they give them a shot so it's actually it's essentially a roundabout way to get to just a free sidecar so it's buy one get one you realize it's a funny joke you're like good word play and then the bartender's like hey for your trouble sidecar okay so is everyone get that or only if they say good job the sidecar um i don't fucking care just make it happen i don't care just bring me my cut you like this fun lauren lauren are you having fun today are you sure i was just making i'm having

so much fun i was just checking in on our calendar making sure everything is lauren i didn't mean to snap at you is there anything on the studio calendar tomorrow tomorrow yeah what no we're off cool i just wouldn't come to my personal podcast if i found out you had a personal podcast i would be i'd be i'd try to sell i'd sell ads on it all right you want to hear my bitch please can i pull it up i can't forget what it was i remember it was good though it's called breakfast in bed oh all right sold so obviously there's been a lot of i think you know speculations like how do we make it like i think in the office michael used to wake up turn on the george foreman grill right and then go back to bed for a little to have the bacon fresh

this is a little oven compartment that's built into your mattress uh you i see it i see it get the breakfast ready it's not a full oven it's just like a warmer keeps it warm you slide it in there when you go to bed you're baking an eggs or whatever it stays in there and it stays warm also keeps your mattress warm i guess it's probably in the bed bed not the it's like in the frame probably under the mattress because you don't want it to be hard right and uh i'm losing him no no i was oh that was that was the face that was the face of a man who's like watching history happen in front of him i was like i can't keep the mattress warm keeps your bacon and eggs warm you wake up you roll over slide it out bring it up munch whatever happened obviously we we

started heating our houses but like did you ever do a tour of one of those old like in in in middle school they took us to this house in portland and they were like this is how life oh yeah yeah yeah they had like bed warmers and you were like their their nightly routine would seem so much more fun than mine is like is like uh just get get in bed tv whatever like they had to like get the get the coals hot put it in there like heat up the bed like imagine imagine meeting up your meeting imagine heating up your whole bed getting in there with your woman and just cuddling you know what i mean it feels like you don't know what i mean i know what you mean i do that all the time yeah man i just relatable too much too much i'm cuddling

with chicks i cuddle so much my thighs are raw i've rubbed my thighs raw i'm a cuddler i'm the cuddle king i'm the king of cuddling all right i'm a muggle should we do permitting division of the building department oh my god yeah i have a great or do you want to start willie do you want me uh i'll start okay please you this is this is one facet of will's life i'd never see you stressed out this is the only thing we're like i think you you're too much of an empath i feel bad i feel bad lying to these people i feel really bad uh all right lauren is my hair look okay no it looks good my oh sorry no go ahead i just lately i'm at that length now where i either have to fight through it or i'm kind of start over and i don't know how to get it to sit right after the

shower like i can do it during the day because i'll like be wearing a hat or whatever and then you can like figure it out after it's settled down but i think you and i both have so much hair yeah like did can some playmate tell me how to if you have if you have hair like willie and isaac how do you get it to look to sit normal well i got this i think both your hair looks good right now really really could i wear this to brunch like like i've eaten brunch and i'm more i'm like terrified about like not being able to get it all right no it's good yeah if anything maybe you put a little gel in it i put uh uh frizz control yeah this morning oh nice no your hair looks fucking killer you think so i feel like it's too long on the top uh i think what you and i both

have a problem doing is we instinctually tuck it behind our ears and then that makes like we need they'll just be comfortable with it flowing whichever way it's going well my problem is that when i got it cut last it was like short on the sides hot long on the top and i like when it's like longer on the back and like comes out like when i'm wearing a hat yeah but then it's too long on the top relative to the back turn to the side lauren do will and i or sorry turning the other side so lauren can see the side we do we have similar like length in the back uh move your hand jack um i think this is so funny riveting i think i have a point length i think will's a little longer okay but will's yours is curly so it's on the top is like four inches longer than

my like i think like both of us i feel like you have very different hair textures true i'm a big hair text no no just like looking at like you i feel like you have more straight hair you have curls who has better i don't think anyone has better who if you didn't know either of us and you saw both of us at a bar and we were both wearing this exact outfit who would you come hit on both of you wow let's fucking go that could have gone bad working on a weekend like usual all right my father steve has got some texas longhorn cattle can you preface it again because i think we talked for so long oh yeah this is the permanent this is the permitting the division of the building department my father steve has got some texas longhorn cattle he's had them for over

a year now they all have really long horns some pushing seven feet i think it'd be really assuming that's both of them combined i think it'd be really funny to say that the cleveland county divisional wildlife says cow's horns must not exceed 48 inches in length he has to answer what he has to answer thinking will arrest he could say we could take a sander or angle grinder and shave a few inches off the sides um what's this person's name will steve no what's the person who wrote in i don't know it's like characters in a language i don't know okay whoever wrote this in you have your finger on the pulse of like what of like what will and i like like that is that is the most perfect pitch i'll be the permitting division of the wildlife department i'm yeah i'm the

permitting division of the maybe like domesticated a little bit because wildlife is like hunting and fishing like like uh i'm the he said what division of cleveland county division of wildlife okay he knows better than i do so maybe i should just say the cleveland county division of wildlife cleveland longhorns in ohio county i think it's probably i think there's one of those yeah there's it's much of ohio is just like farmland no i don't think well because he said something about charleston in there too i think i think there's a cleveland county in south carolina i think or north carolina oh this is michael from the cleveland county division of wildlife uh do you own a few longhorn cattle here we go here we go and go buy our shirt

your call has been forwarded call back wait that was like a call back to serve He just hung up. I know, but he's not going to pick up from a real number. Isn't it crazy when you're a little bit drunk and you just say whatever and everyone's... That sentence didn't make any sense. Should I try it again? I'll try it again.

Yeah. Hell yeah, man. I'm not going to pick up from a regular number. all right god damn it all right i got guys we'll get it one i'll save us all right uh what is her name i think the fun in this segment though is that it keeps it keeps the on their toes like they don't know what they're gonna get i don't know okay lucy lucy lucy goes me again i have a crazy good prank call for you guys my mom's favorite activity is shooting squirrels who loiter in the tree in our backyard i already love this family

because that isn't badass that's one that's badass but two like loitering squirrels in your tree is just like living their life and they're like they're loitering that's like a human like we were talking about this earlier like like getting kicked out for loitering means you're like a bad hang yeah uh she says they make sticks fall into our lawn and she hates it for the record lucy my dad does the same i walked i walked i went visiting my parents in maine and my dad was shooting the chipmunks with the bb gun i was like what are you doing he was like they're a pest to our thing or whatever like they're this is like i think we're gonna get to an age where that's just a thing we care about yes she says they make sticks fall into our lawn she hates it keep in

mind she uses a bb gun so she just injures and scares the squirrels please call her and tell her that the neighbors complained that she that she doesn't have the proper hunting permits here's her number i think we can punch this up a little bit willy okay uh you had a good idea earlier but i forgot what i was saying you say one of the squirrels you shot is famous he's from like a he's from a reality tv show i like that and uh he's like a wildly popular squirrel yeah that's that was musco from musco's moment on what animal planet yeah on animal planet yeah the viral and and and that we've been following him for years yeah there's a documentary listen ma'am i'm just the messenger here there's a documentary crew that's been following that squirrel for years

yeah willie the documentary crew had the squirrel tagged yeah and that's how we know she's the one that shot it is that it it well they were filming no no because she would know if they were like she would see him so the squirrel eventually dropped dead from like a bb injury and it landed in her thing and they were saying the only like it had to have been her that shot it because i think they could have been filming like from the woods yeah you're right say it was a drone that was musco from musco's moment on animal planet you shot musco do we ask her if she so let's like bait her into admitting that she did it yeah you should be like have you recently shot a squirrel with a bb gun we like regretfully

inform you that that was musco you hit musco from musco's moment on animal planet there was a drone filming when that happened and the network is pissed yeah but like what is she in trouble for shooting musco and he's a protected squirrel yeah yeah he's a celebrity the producer reached man you don't understand he's borderline a celebrity her name is katie and she lives in the salt lake county hello hi is this katie yeah mrs anderson yeah hi this is mark from the wildlife uh department in salt lake county is this a good moment to talk yeah so uh not not like a great part of my job but i just have a few questions for you if you have a moment have you it's not

it's not a huge deal if you have been but have you been shooting any squirrels with your bb gun yes i have okay so i understand i have the same issue at my house we have a small snafu and it's like a weird uncharted territory so you're not in any trouble i just want to preface with that but uh i mean i'm not shooting them for fun i'm shooting yes no our furniture they've destroyed parts yes no i i completely i can i am completely with you i they like drop sticks in my yard and i do the same thing it's not that's not the problem at all we ran into a weird thing where and honestly we probably should have told you guys about this there is this squirrel named musko have you seen this at all musco's moment he's like a protected squirrel and they nat geo has

been doing this documentary on him where we've been like following him through the woods it's like honest it's bizarre it's like this i don't find yeah i don't i'm with you and uh they've been following him like through the woods and doing this like series on him and we had him tagged and uh he he he died from i know it's bizarre he died from like one of the bb's and nat geo is like pissed at us and like they are on our ass now and like we just needed to clear up the story like did you did you see like a little green thing around one of the squirrels ankles that you shot no and i've never i mean i don't know if i've even ever hit one i've never seen one like die like i didn't know babies could even kill squirrels that's what i thought too

like i just startle them you know honestly between me and you like i i've been like massacring squirrels in my backyard for like years and like i didn't know that any of them got killed but they're like you understand like this falls on me now and they're pissed at me for killing this fucking musco squirrel like i don't give a shit about you know what i mean like none of us even watch this show um but they're probably going to give you a call here in a second and uh and try and clear that up with you if that's all right what are they clearing up with me i think you just because i'm on your side i think you need to just emphatically deny that no squirrel had a tag on it yeah i've never i've never even seen a squirrel on my property okay um i've never seen a

dead squirrel on the property i've never seen a squirrel with a tag they're they're threatening like jail time and stuff but like i don't think that that's going to be like i'll go to bat for you and basically say like like these squirrels are a new it's a it's a they're trying to claim like a reality show squirrel and like who's even watching that you know well i feel like i'm getting pranked right now like is this even real uh you are getting pranked your daughter you're such a your daughter your daughter submitted your phone number and we do this thing we do it did i have you at all for a little bit did you believe me

and then when you said the f word i know you blew it i know i blew it i blew it well you were you were a great sport thank you so much for uh for doing which daughter was this i have a few this was lucy oh my gosh yeah you had me for a second i the second shooting my squirrels have a nice day fire away bye-bye oh that was great i'm glad that i'm all time lucy uh your mom she sounds like a g she was the best she also like stood her ground she's like yeah i've been like if someone called me and was like have you been have you done anything in a menacing zone absolutely not she was like yeah damn they've been tearing up our furniture yeah if anyone

calls like have you been feeding the homeless no all right that was lovely that was great that was perfect i get so anxious during those like will i did for the audio listeners will left the room three separate times staring at the wall window nervous all right should we do this guy yeah can i actually go pee again really quick i'm sorry jesus yeah willie we were just saying that was like the perfect ending to it too because i did like yeah i don't have any guilt i was like i don't know how i'm gonna like land this plane and then she like kind of bailed me out yeah it's perfect all right lauren here's my this guy rocks all right lauren pause this immediately and i mean it's mine oh oh sorry no you're good pause it uh

this this brother daughter duo it is always really funny when in the middle of the podcast Lauren has to do one of those I'm panicking that must be so stressful let's just see honestly I don't even have a tee up for this one

let's just see what happens me and my sister's new hobby me and my sister are going to be fighting other siblings at the mall this is your idea correct yeah christopher christopher anybody named chris out there we're coming for you we're walking in the mall me and my sister and now another brother and sister come up excuse me are you guys like flying me oh that's awesome this is my sister tiffany yes yeah what's your name chris nice

flying you gotta pretend go oh what's bad kind of hit it with a flying knee let me see the knee just try to throw wait he reminds me of bobby you guys know uncle bobby uncle bobby i have an uncle bobby as well do you really yeah he's main state police he protects governor mills wow that's awesome yeah he rocks both of them rock well he's he's awesome i oh i don't everyone i know doesn't like her for some reason but i think i think like inherently like every whatever your governor is you're gonna like well he's guarded every governor even the page even the page starting to not like this bobby character

apparently the page i don't know my parents just saw jenna mills this week they like her a lot nice lady yeah if they like him i okay then never mind i'm back on jenna mills didn't take much i just didn't know i didn't know anything about her outside of people who are like fight the power alright Will who do we have I forget what I sent you oh god yeah

this is like a woman posted her son's invention let's go alright so he's created an invention that makes your pants tighter and gives you gold for the rest of your life. so pause it for a second this all right but then look scroll down the reason i thought this is so

funny keep scrolling down a little more that's the bottom what oh oh maybe they're deleting comment it was like the top comment was like bro invented the gooch machine and had to come up with an excuse that was real quick almost identical to what i was gonna say his mom walked in on him monkey farting his butt with the with the back tire and she was like what are you doing in here and he was like it's uh he was like it makes your pants tighter and um gold i here's my thing i think if we could harness if we could harness the energy of this

I think we'd all make a lot of money so I agree I love it yeah well done he rocks alright

should we do teach me something alright have you guys ever heard of marital duels no I've witnessed a few

growing up I'm sorry about that it's okay in medieval Germany my dad's gonna kill me it's like the two nicest two nicest people in the world are like oh we did everything in our power to show you like how we were not doing that all right in medieval germany picture you know the 15th to the 16th

century marital duels were a bizarre yet legal and like fairly common as far as these things go like practice yeah um so marital duels were bizarre sorry marital duels what sorry marital duels were a way for husbands and wives to settle eric eric he's hammered who's eric hammered eric eric uh they were a way for them to settle like differences that they would never be able to make up again uh often when divorce wasn't socially or legally viable right so you like you had an why can i not get this word out irreconcilable difference with your yeah what was wrong with that that was good no i didn't oh sorry irreconcilable whatever yeah you couldn't divorce your husband if you guys were in like a big fight or whatever so they basically were

like we need to figure out a way to settle this so they would have marital duels and obviously a fight between like a fully grown man and a fully grown woman like isn't totally fair so what they would do is they would dig a hole like a waist deep hole and the husband was confined to that hole and then the wife was on her feet and had a bag of rocks and they would fight it out jesus christ wow who was they let me double let me just double check okay sorry sorry sorry this was in a book the man was in a waist deep hole with one hand tied behind his back and he had a club while the woman was free to move uh was given a sack filled with rocks these fights sometimes to the death were part of a larger larger judicial tradition of trial by combat and were even

depicted in contemporary legal texts and illustrations suggesting they were not just a mythical they were not just mythical but actually occurred when what where between in medieval germany between the 15th and 16th century uh like domestic conflicts could be settled through violence under the guise of justice so it was like wow yeah the guise of justice that sounds like us we're the guys of justice that'd be our superhero team mm-hmm okay uh did you know there were lions what i saw someone comment that they want a compilation of all the times we do that

do what that's their favorite bit i love when you guys do that uh yeah the fact that you'd want you could have done a spit take i had way too i took way too big of a gulp that i was like i either have to do a half or a puke take uh no anyway there used to be lions in europe and asia and uh like i was reading about ancient greece and it talked about there being lions there were lions like in like like at the height of like the roman empire there were like lions in greece just roman because they would bring them no no they were like in indigenous the last like native lion left in like the year like 100 and there were a lion still in the middle east in like iran until like 1942 was the last

lion scene was that the barbary uh the barbary lion or whatever it's like the last i'm butchering the name but there's this one lion and it's look up like no no lauren it's probably easier because i'm butchering the front part look up like last photo of lion taken so this yeah it'll show it'll know what i'm talking about yeah so click on this uh that one right there no the top left yeah oh i got it right all right i was pretty close so lauren wait no go to the wikipedia no but just click on this photo because it well i want to see what it is it's that's it that's no i wanted no no it's right there look gorgeous like read about what it was gorgeous yeah this is not it you hijacked my teacher or something this is in africa no i i wasn't i was just saying on top of

that there's this photo of like this last one and he was searching for a mate all over the place in this last photo ever taken go to the top learn that's not sorry it's just the top left one so see that small thing in the corner yeah that's the last photo anyone's ever taken of this specific one in the wild got it i believe we still have them but i'm pretty sure that i thought that's what we were talking about where i think this was in the middle east that's not what it that ruined your thing it said it was in africa you don't hang out anymore and you don't want to be friends i just it feels like every time i try to tell you something you talk about the barbary lion hey what do you want a skin fade going going that's the barbary lion i thought that was

yeah but uh it'd be funny you like go sit down with a therapist and they they're kind of like well they've seen every problem possible it's just a barbary line every time every time every time we're talking he won't shut up but this fucking barbary line every fucking it's a it's a line in like a burberry coat yeah the burberry line look at that burberry line burberry line can't hurt you the burberry line like a meme verbal meme all right guys we have a beautiful set of drafts for you guys today billy's here billy's here billy we're all hammered are you no not anymore i was before off that picardy lemon yeah billy you're looking especially good today are you kidding me yeah you guys looking a mirror

uh billy what draft casual did you do uh sayings that don't exist all right beautiful and liam you did rom-coms yes sir all right we're just gonna do you guys back to back yeah just bang these out get them in the thumbnail move on yeah sweet just use me like a piece of fucking toilet paper all right which one do you guys want to start or do you guys want to say like congrats on oh yeah of course congrats on 100 episodes yeah congrats lauren congrats thank you it's an honor and a privilege to be over here thank you any congrats on vaping again any congrats on that that's pretty sweet i'm not gonna lie that looks tasty as fuck that you are vaping i'm just back back on the train the whole light color i'm riding you feel like god right now what like

ripping a white vape is this just a today vape or is this all the time vape thing i bought it yesterday because i had 15 i had 15 minutes to poop before i had to come here so i stopped at the gas station they didn't have any lucy's so i got a vape and a red bull this is for uh digestive to make yourself poop that makes sense it's not for the nicotine it's for the bowel movement which two do you guys want to start first

Langdon we're doing different drafts sayings that don't exist alright these are more sayings that don't exist I also want to say I'm a little nervous I like my last one or the first one I'm doing I'm a little nervous it exists

now that I'm thinking about it that's okay you can eat you can only say a hundred of these come on don't fuck up on this episode you're right you're right i'm sitting here like an asshole i got nothing to do i gotta listen you fumble around and fuck shit up you can only save your lunch for so long uh it will go bad eventually so don't be too cautious to where you miss the window to get something done yes i love that checking the parachute on the way down at some point you need to just trust all the work that you've put in it's too late to try and do any research let's just get going i love that that's nails i like that a lot yeah you've been hanging out with gavin nails maybe i literally

have you're very good i spent the weekend with him um this guy you just shit your pants in the bathroom you were there you were so close you put in all the work you almost got it but it doesn't matter because you completely fucked it up i love it's like you fumbled on the goal line yeah i like that a lot uh asking a snowman what to do this summer uh yeah just you're you're talking to the wrong guy you're looking in the wrong place for what you want to get i love that yep that's that one's great sending the card without the stamp you can you can do all the work but if you or what did i write yeah no that was really good who wrote this you got a ghost writer these days i didn't write that one we've outsourced it um

you can do all the work but it doesn't matter if you don't finish strong that's great i like that a lot yeah you're both those are awesome i know i was on fire this morning i told you when i work i was saying i got we came in in suits and even though we're doing like the most like stupid work in the world you like nice nice correction you saw that i saw i saw the r word flash over your eyes i only got the profile i couldn't catch it um don't split his p oops guys uh don't split sorry brother now you got me nervous don't split his p don't split a piece of sushi some things are just meant for you and when you try to share them with someone else it makes it worse for everybody involved that's fantastic i like that i got one i just thought

one please don't be afraid to sing the abcs hey if you're doing something and it feels stupid it's all right man you gotta do it sometimes you forget you gotta sing the abcs to remember which one is where you gotta know where you are you got me at the end yeah i like that uh don't treat don't treat your first serve like it's your second that's a tennis reference for my tennis heads out there there's billions if you have the opportunity to to make a mistake don't be afraid to go for it and risk making that mistake you know what i mean if you're going to be able to get a second chance love this uh now that i'm reading this i think you may have done this one already i'm gonna kill you but i have a backup in case you can't be

the architect and the engineer uh you can't always do everything let other people do their part and it's going to get the best product that's deleted nudes that means it's nonsense it's a figment of your imagination it's a figment of your imagination it's something you tell yourself exists for your own peace of mind but if history has told us anything it does not exist wow that's good gorgeous unrelated those pants are phenomenal that's what i said they look comfy too like sweatpants uh they are very comfy those look good some thick corduroy for the summer for the summer coming up and i'm right in time there we go i've got a little bonus one do you want to do our bonuses i have a bonus one as well uh there's always more mustard when you shake the bottle

all right fantastic you can always get a little bit more out of it it's like approaching the the limit of zero you never quite touch it yeah you get very close but there's mustard in there damn right i hate mustard really bad boy podcasting i've been saying that my my bonus one is a donkey in the derby it's someone that has no place that's where they are it's like you you set yourself up for failure you have no business being here hell yeah all right thank you guys that was good now you want to do liam yeah i was trying to think of another one called paddington but you got time i'll do it at a later time okay i like i like figuring out i wanted to be paddington centric but i haven't totally nailed it whenever you get it we're here i'll let you

guys maybe that's one of my rom-coms paddington related but rom-com you got this it's right there dude i can see it these are it's like acid reflux does he fuck humans in the movie uh is he fucking no it's ted ted he fucks also why are we all like nervous around each other right now i don't know i'm choking on my words this is right now there's an alpha in the room right now sitting right here fucking terrifying all right uh these are more rom-coms that don't exist Okay. Oh, wait. Who's going first?

You start. This is 13 going on 300. After a terrible 13th birthday, a teenage girl makes a wish to be 30, flirty, and thriving. And the next day, she wakes up in the body of Spartan King Leonidas in the year 480 BC. She just wanted to fit in, but now she has to gather 300 of the best warriors she can find and defend Greece from hundreds of thousands of invading Persian soldiers. That's awesome. That's great.

I love it. Peer coincidence. uh a man and a woman that are fishing on the same pier uh they they hook the same fish and they reel it in together and that uh is crazy and then they figure it out they go back and guess what they do it again by two-tier coincidence two fish they both catch it and that's when they fall in love that should be the fish getting that might be a different i'm a fish caught with two yeah that is that is embarrassing it's awful um i got the grass is always greener a recent divorcee hires a landscaper to do all the things that her husband uh did when he was still there

sexual tensions come to a head when uh he's mowing the grass and he comes in to ask for something cool to drink and let's just say they make sweet love that's awesome sure this is another remix of a rom-com how to lose a guy in 7305 days it's boyhood meets marriage story with the soundtrack from manchester by the sea filmed over 20 years with the same cast this barely watchable movie follows the slow erosion of love between margaret and her high school sweetheart slash husband kevin that's awesome well done uh i've got washed up a window a window washer in new york city is washing the window of an office building and it's love at first sight with a girl on the other side of the glass uh then he's got to go find which office he's like

counting yeah and he keeps getting it wrong and then every day going back i'm like finding her again and be like all right i swear it was this floor and then he has to go and then eventually they fall in love and he another title idea yeah peeping tom finding love peeping tom finding love Okay, what I was saying also, she's a washed-up athlete, and then he's a window washer. Just because of we're playing wars with wash. I see. Okay. You're just like, huh?

Kind of a hat on a hat. It's fantastic. As Seltzer would say, it's kind of a hat on a hat. Yeah, our boss is a new saying. That's a good saying. It's a hat on a hat. Seltzer came up with that? No.

No, no, no. I'm saying he gets fixated on one thing and then says it over and over again. Yeah. And he doesn't listen to it. It was funny because he was in the Zoom in the meeting, so then I said it later, and like everyone kind of chuckled but like he can't pick up on like the cues all right i gotta fake it till you make it or sarah i'll say that again sorry i forgot that we're not doing sayings i was like brother you already got that one i gotta fake it till you make it uh this poor kid gets

into this prestigious prep school on a full need-based scholarship and in an effort to fit in acts like he is this very affluent kid he falls in love with a very rich girl uh her holiday plans fall through she now asked to go home with him and he has to bring her home to his uh his house that is his very poor family and uh she realized that he's been lying but it doesn't matter because they're in love well she's beautiful then she would be classist that's true you make that movie you make that version you make that okay see which one does better we need to prop for this one No, I just need a sip of my juice. Is that Propel?

They still make that? It's back, dude. Langdon scooped it for me. Good guy. Coming back, my mom had a little fridge in the house, and it was filled with Propels, and I'd go in there and drink them at night. That's awesome. Dude, you just outed yourself.

You grew up rich. Fridge full of Propels. Okay. What tax bracket are you in, pal? It's like $12. Look at him. Yeah, it's true. It's like a seersucker suit.

What do you think? He doesn't pay any. this is ridiculous this one i actually think if it hasn't been made already it might have legs are you guys drinking yeah no no no no no no one's drinking liam all right this one is called the irish rolex sean keegan a 40 year old burnout living in the home his parents left behind is in an ongoing feud with his next door neighbor and nemesis shea quinn a ceo of a big company with no patience for slackers but when todd accidentally violates his parole and sandra's or sorry shay's company accuses her of embezzlement the two find themselves on house arrest trapped side by side

with nowhere to run and nothing but time their petty feud unexpectedly gives way to a romance they never saw coming coming this fall from the people who brought you outer space aids can i just say it feels like uh like a suburban version of boy in the striped pajamas where they could have like a hole in their fence and they're talking through it every day Neither can cross, and they have to learn about each other's lives. From the guys who brought you the boy in the striped pajamas. Finally decides to crawl through. This doesn't have legs.

This is legs. That's great. All right. That's the end of those segments. No, I have one more. I only did two. Oh, you're right. Romantarctic.

They fall in love in Antarctica. I just thought the play on those words. Great play on words. Romantarctic. i'd expect nothing less you bring that shit all right who's ready for love is steep two climbers travel to yosemite park separately they're both summoning l cap at the same time and if you're familiar you make your way half up you pitch a tent on the side of the cliff here's where the twist comes a storm breaks out her tent becomes battered it's no longer safe he

climbs over to her in the middle of the storm brings her back to his tent they learn they have a lot in common and then that can find a space if all in love pitching a tent in a tent when i heard pitching a tent that's where right where i went come on there's so many opportunities one more time oh sorry get it while it's all right thank you guys so much thanks for having us congratulations yeah thank you congrats guys the first podcast to ever do it so you guys so that's what i was hearing i looked i looked into it it's right 95 what happened all the other ones get cancelled after the 99th episode

say it again 95% of podcasts get cancelled after the 99th episode syndication also this didn't you guys do this too

and have champagne and people from the office we had all sorts of drinks oh okay but yeah it's like I mean you guys

it was a long app it feels like it feels like it's like a lumen thing that they like roll out like you have done 100 episodes

you get the birthday parties Emily put in more work Emily was a bartender I can't I can't do all that I got way too fucked up on that episode did you really it was a long one yeah i i was i was in the i was in the waiting

room till like 6 p.m to come in are we guys getting out because we have four minutes till we lose the studio all right well thanks for having us congrats you guys for coming on willie do you want to do country songs that don't exist or slang words first slang words and then country and let's just rip them fast let's do it all right thank you guys yeah thank you i inhaled through this thing and it actually made my head like hurt oh i think there's like toxins in this rubber duck okay uh country songs that don't exist these are more country songs that don't exist jesus was a cowboy if you think it's a it's a country song jesus christ yep yeah that's him

it's a he's explaining that jesus christ did a lot of things that cowboys do he chose water over wine he rode a donkey he hung out with hookers he was the fucking man i don't think jesus chose water over wine he turned water into wine that's a choice he he depleted the whole wedding yeah of water and turned it into wine i like that i've got reckon uh it's like i was ready to change my life but you just kept me down but i reckon i'll start if you're wrecking my heart and then something like that just to play on reckon i got going out the way i came in it's about a soldier who when he was born the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck so he was fighting on the way in and before they go into this really dangerous mission

he says if i'm going out i'm going out the way i came in fighting damn right that's fired me up uh something i can't sweat out this is about a guy in the dog days of summer that uh lost a love and he's he's like he can sweat out just damn near anything but that girl that's something he can't sweat out i got not a dui if the kid's driving it's about it's about country singer he goes to the bar he gets hammered and he has his nine-year-old son driving home every night and he's like officer it's not dui if the kids drive that's good it's something else uh suck worse than a skeeter this is a guy who got dumped and he hates his ex and he's telling her that she sucks worse than a skeeter she also gave like really teeth no she

never gave him teethy head she was a loving loving woman and she cared about a giver man she was a giver all right these are slang words that don't exist script uh when something plays out exactly how you would expect it to you say that's script i love it yeah when exactly to plan yeah it's like it's like yeah we got there exactly when they got there and our food is ready it's perfect damn that's script i love it iso when someone does something bad and they need to just leave and go be alone like you like fuck up and like all right iso iso get out of here yeah go be by yourself i like that uh honking this is just a way to say complaining it's like dude quit honking i love it it's like you're you're sounding the alarm or like you're just being obnoxious it's

like quit honking yeah all right i got wince it's like a step below cringe not fully cringe but it's still off-putting so you instead instead of fully cringing you just kind of i like that uh wait wince was that it yeah isn't that just a word yeah but cringe is also a word oh oh you're saying wince yeah i dumb i'm dumb i dumb i dumb i dumb uh uh index like this is to describe a guy you say like dude he he's an index it's like a guy who knows everything he can always he's always got the answer he knows where to go he knows what to do he knows everyone in this town like dude that guy's an index i'm gonna wrap it up with uh vacuum yep guy comes in here just sucks all the fun out of everything guys a vacuum did not bring him around fucking hate that guy

all right guys thank you and we finished right at three o'clock perfect guys thank you so much for 100 episodes you i think we try and say it as much as we can but you guys mean the world to us you've given us the coolest job that's ever existed the coolest job that doesn't exist and we love you so much you make our day i hope we make yours sometimes uh comment comment comment uh your favorite memory yeah comment your favorite memory from the first past 100 episodes and if i could echo what you were saying we love you so much seriously thank you and you know whose personality we're all stealing this weekend the playmates yours you listening wherever you are right now we're stealing your personality and lucy's that was

the best cheat sheet oh yes permanent this week until wednesday we love you guys so much thank you guys do you have a song i guess oh oh yes yes yes sorry sorry we'll finish real quicky real quicky song of the day song of the day welcome back to rusty's song of the day guys you knew you knew it was coming sooner or later it's my favorite song will told me whenever he hears this song he thinks of me come monday by jimmy buffett come monday i hope jimmy buffett we we i hope we brighten your mondays but i always thought what was great about this song is monday is objectively the worst day of the week and he made it into a positive i love jimmy buffett so much and this song means a lot to me i hope it means a lot to you and i hope when you listen to this playlist

you think of me lauren and will we love you guys so much have a great rest of your monday have a great tuesday and we will see you bright and early on wednesday for our wednesday episode thank you guys so much for giving us the coolest job in the world we love you so much we love you love you