Will & Rusty's Playdate - a majestic 3 year anniversary episode | Ep. 245

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

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that the you gotta stay you gotta stay still over there today i go he comes out i go uh oh nice what's that for he goes you'll see If a guy in chain mail goes, you'll see It's usually, it's gotta be a melee attack Do you want to hear my sketch idea? Maybe we should make it today It's like a guy in his community like God, I'm so sick of all this chain mail

Clogging up my inbox And then you're like, me too, brother That's fantastic So what is it for you? Well, so, I am Denited To tell you guys Congrats on three years

thank you that's what it's for that's what it's for yep he's denited i have a question did you think of that did you see the chain mail and go i gotta i gotta figure out a way to do this or did you think of denited and you were like i'm gonna go track down chain mail i had to work backwards combination i thought of it denited and then i so you thought of denited yeah right that's really good thank you i love it thank you i love it that is you are you look good you actually do kind of look pretty cool yeah i think he would be like a good night really yeah oh thank you yeah well you sort of got the frame for it too that's yeah the frame is the most important part yeah this episode is brought to you by bear bells rusty show me your bear bells yeah you'd be a good night

i don't know it's bedtime pretty good yeah it's pretty good uh i'm having fun today i have a bone to pick with you no pun intended yeah i got wing stop what would be the pun the wing oh pre no pre no pun intended i uh i followed andrew's advice and i got wing stop and it was pretty good i i have no qualms with the taste it didn't blow my mind did you win the thing no apparently they only gave the password to like influencers remember how you needed a password yeah to get in they only email it i feel like we probably could have guessed it i bet it was like what do you think it was wing city bitch it's like when you go to the when you go to like the delta thing it's always like so like if you if you guessed long enough the internet password you

could figure it out it's like wheels up or like yeah yeah team usa when it's the olympics or whatever i think that it was probably team usa it could have did you try team usa because of the olympics or did you try um wingle me this wing city bitch i didn't try wing city bitch i was trying like lemon pepper steppa what are you serious oh whoa whoa i'm on your side edgar you better better better to try it better to try and fail imagine if it was you tried lemon pepper steppa yeah it didn't work I mean, you would have felt like the smartest man alive. You would have felt like, yeah.

Yeah, that one just made a vote. Name one genius that ain't crazy. Andrew sitting at home, and he's, all right, Lemon Peppa Steppa, and it's like access granted. Oh, whoa. Whoa, hey. Perfect. Wow. That's awesome.

Yeah, it didn't work. I tried like Wingstop, Wingstop 1, Wingstop 2. Wingstop would be crazy if that was the password. Yeah. Wait, do you think that, so do you think they gave it to 100, like gave the password to 100 influencers? Or like 101. one because what if it was like andrew did get in and then like alex earl doesn't get it

and yeah yeah yeah fuck oh i beat alex yeah yeah i can't imagine because you got the code yeah yeah yeah well i wonder if they were sent to specific people i wonder if it was just tied to their account oh like your past like one influencer been like texting all his friends like yo here's the code like alex's was like the earl of sandwich the earl of chicken sandwich yeah or something or something like that Alex's would have been like the Earl of Chicken Sand right

or like or like Lemon Pepper Steppa that's what I was saying yeah it could have been not Lemon Pep sorry yes Lemon

it could have been if it's like it could have been Lemon Pepper Steppa is that a thing or you just I mean I don't know I think Alex Earl

would find it fun I feel like that kind of that's what they call Andrew when he walks in what are we talking about right now when Andrew walks into the Wingstop

they go oh the Lemon Pepper Steppa's here that's what they call you and he does like he like moonwalks in I see okay now I understand

so here's my funny food here's my bone to pick with you about wingstop yeah it's no pun intended no pun intended it's fine right like it's not the food wasn't the issue it was it was decent food you're not saying good it wasn't good because it wasn't good it was fine like it did the job it did the job but what follows eating wingstop it was fucking flatulence fest 2026 at my house I was like I'm gonna kill Ty if I I kept farting

in his direction I was like he might die yeah did it stink too dude farts that you have like smells

that didn't exist until yesterday what flavor did you get again I went OG hot and mild so I'm like what would have happened

if I got the lemon hot and the mild yeah that's funny so if I but if I got yeah I guess that I didn't

bro didn't know about medium he was rubbing the hot and mild on each other oh my god but if those those are like the run-of-the-mill flavors if i got like lemon pepper stepper or something like i think my health would have burned lemon pepper i think is like not spicy it's a dry rub yeah yeah i mean i think wing stuff is a meal you were kind of like

i'm gonna have this to myself you know right like i'm gonna take my time on this one right i'm gonna to go slow i'm going to be alone when i do it oh so you knew fart fest 2025 oh yeah why do you think i have a studio apartment to myself that's a good point that's why he's always nate walking around the house naked he keeps like shitting his boxers when he has wings stop on your charlie browns wait do you did you so when you texted also we should put the picture that you i texted andrew like guess what i got for lunch and he sat back he was already eating wingstop oh that was i in this group chat no i think i i think i offlined with him about it but weird okay well you don't respond to my text so i've just started going straight to

i sent you the ass meme of the year yesterday i was flying it delivered it delivered immediately i said i felt like a fucking idiot i sent will six oh i did see the ass meme of the year i sent will three like three text chunks like three groups of two three days in a row zero responses in my defense i was totally out of pocket this weekend i was with my buddies and i went nuts all over that city i painted that city white um it was awesome i mean it already was white it's a good point not certain neighborhoods were you were you that picture that wingstop picture you sent me up there up there for grimmest photos i've ever seen in my life it was like an almost almost pitch black room with just you could like kind of tell it was

wingstop can we pull it yeah i mean i i told you maybe i what about that photo of the purple guy mcdonald's how does that rank where which one was that guy again oh dark got it got it grim this is the grimmest photo of the year i'm gonna i want maybe i'm could you do you want to pull this photo up that you texted me i mean like i said man wingstop is a meal that you have by yourself are you were you naked when you sent me that photo oh this isn't as this isn't as grim as i remember my brightness must have been down or something but it's still do you have a little like tv dinner tray yeah like a homemade he break oh man studio apartment so like i don't have like that doesn't mean you have to like give up your your life

i want i want the listeners to know we take take note and hurt him take we don't hurt him but take note of where andrew's facing in this it's not like we're watching football and i think he's eating wingstop facing the air conditioner yeah what i was like dude don't fucking send me this this is like bumming me out i'm confused at what i'm looking at my oh you have like that thing that like people have like on their lap yeah yeah you put on your lap i don't have no i think it has its own stand that's the problem oh it's it's got its own stand my grandma had that yeah i know but but the whole point of those is that it's for tv dinner right Andrew's facing a blank wall

Yeah why are you facing the The TV is above it The TV is above it I don't buy it Cause I don't see any wires I don't see that angle I don't see any wires going up there Where does bro live?

My Playstation is right here And then you can see the HDMI cord Going up to the TV Alright Respect Respect Yeah Respect

I don't know Will This is a really sad photo Dude he sent it to me And I was already dealing with a little bit of the sunday scaries and i was like yeah that actually makes me feel pretty good about dude my weekend no i'm just kidding but i had a great weekend that reminds me of i posted there was some tiktok i made in college and i was in a top bunk yeah like my freshman year i guess it was i guess it was my freshman year and i just remember all the comments being like does bro live in a

crawl space like what because it oh you're like you're shooting in the bed but then the ceiling is right there it looks like yeah because you couldn't tell it was the top bunk you know you can adjust uh you can like in your college dorm you can adjust how high the thing is on the bed post so maybe you could put like your desk under it or whatever yeah we didn't take it down from the highest setting when we converted it to bunk beds okay so like i was sleeping and the ceiling was like literally six inches above my face like you you'd wake up and if you forgot you were in bunk you were in the top bunk you're like oh hey okay never mind that it sounds terrifying it was oh wait you couldn't roll like if i rolled over my shoulder would scrape the

ceiling and you just live with that for a year no i think we it was max a month okay all right max a month what did you do this weekend you said you had a great weekend yeah i went to meet a no pressure it's just will dude i'm sure dude i know he's wearing everything with like this fit is funnier because you're like not moving your shoulders i can't Well, I can't move my body because the chainmail will, like, rattle, and I don't want it to, like, get in the mic and, like, bother people. Okay, so what did you do? Andrew, no pressure.

It seems like you're, like, nervous right now. I know Will's wearing cool glasses. I can't move my head. He's just a regular guy, dude. He's one of us. I don't need to get nervous. He jumps into his pants like everybody else. He jumps into his pants two legs at a time like everyone else, man.

He wipes his ass with two hands like everyone else, man. I just feel like I can't move my, like, head or my throat. on my mouth how often are you moving your throat during this oh more than you think yeah i was putting lotion on my throat this morning and it like crunched that can't be a good sign like i was like doing my like face like on your neck yeah yeah and then i like i like went to like kind of push it in and my esophagus made this like crunching noise i just did it so it's not like i'm like there's nothing wrong no you just okay what'd you do this weekend i went to medieval times and you say medieval medieval it's so hard i can't move like i feel like i can't move my mouth

wait but is is that maybe related to the outfit oh i should have wore this there that would have been a good idea are you sure you didn't no i i didn't put that when else when else you had this for for this for saying tonight yeah so you it crossed your mind maybe i should throw my Trademail on to say Denightful to the boys later But I'm going to medieval Denighted Denighted

I was denieded To say congrats on three years Wait so what did you wear? Just like street clothes? Yeah Oh my god This is the funniest This might be the funniest episode

This is the most fun I've ever had During the podcast You are like supreme I can't even Wow that's like Such a missed opportunity Because I had it

At my apartment Yeah dude It's a missed opportunity Are you joking? You ordered Trademail last week Yeah And you went to medieval times This weekend

and it didn't even cross your mind to wear it did you have it like did you own this when you were yeah i ordered it last week he had it in his apartment that's awesome i completely forgot that'd be like if i was like you were like what'd you do this weekend i was like i went to the jets game and then you're like you wear that jersey i'm like oh fuck i didn't even think of that well i didn't even like i mean i didn't know that people like dress up for medieval times oh man that's like i guess i've never been so i but i would have assumed i didn't know people dressed up till i got there and then by then it was like an hour well i think they dress up before they you got there maybe here's the question fun yeah it was a great time yeah yeah who'd you go

um i went with my friends from san diego who i met at coachella why are you laughing that one sounded like nervous well i can't move my head i think that's what i think there is something in here uh with my friends it feels like he's on trial diego i can't move my head i feel very like all right so you've you friends in san diego that you met at coachella that i met in coachella and did you make plans specifically to go to medieval times this weekend it was one of their birthdays and i wanted to go to medieval times so she drove up and i met her there fun yeah it was great there was a big group of us um no chain mail though where it's like in orange county or something yeah buena park it's like right outside of anaheim that means good parque

i kind of feel like looking i can look at the funny thing was that like my friends there were like i'm really excited to go i'm really excited to go uh because uh they were like i've always been to like the ones in like dallas and maryland and this is where the real actors come oh this is like the a-list guys well but no i was she was just saying that because we like live near hollywood oh oh like they're gonna be better because like these people are trying to make it yeah and i was like do you think leonardo dicaprio is gonna be down there as a knight there could be something to this they live in buena park it's like an hour and a half from hollywood i was like there's just no way that these people are like driving in every day but maybe they move to la to chase the dream

and then they like have settled with the fact that they just with medieval times i mean you're kind of a stud like they were treating the night that one like he was fucking lebron james after the really do you think he like goes home with like a girl like easily oh my are you serious are you being 100 serious i saw i'm not even joking this girl that i saw on tiktok the other day posted like she was there in her elf ears or whatever and the guy like came over and like gave her a rose and they were like losing their fucking minds yeah and then afterwards are they hot yeah they're all hot like they were all literally all the guys at medieval times are hot yes every single one like they should have all been on love island i'm not kidding and then like they just hang

around the bar after the match oh you can just like go and like girls were like giving them their phone numbers they were like lifting girls for photos they were like twirling them putting upside down twirling them no but like they were like bouncing on it they were like they were low key like bouncing on it yeah you go to the bar after and he he's still in like the top half of his armor but his pants are pulled around his ankles and someone's bouncing on it yeah exactly so that is not what i would have expected there's a bar there that you just hang out at yeah there's a bar it's called the tavern and uh and it's like medieval yeah and you can just get like whatever drink you want there any drink you want any drink you want mojo mojo not that one

i made that up pina colada not that one so you can't get any drink you want well you get like everything but that dirty shirley temple you can't get that one vodka sprite no they don't have vodka that's okay all right beer no i don't think so i don't think they had that mainly grog wait that's sick though i didn't know they were like hot now there's like a sexy element to the people were the girls hot there the queen was pretty high yeah she looked like Anne Hathaway was anyone was the queen at the bar after no I tried to get a picture with her and they made me stand like really far away which kind of made me feel weird are you serious how far away like more than an arm's length oh yeah like 10 feet away you specifically yeah yeah yeah made

me feel like weird yeah that would make me feel weird that was the correct uh response so wait was she like 10 feet to the side of you she was like she was in like a throne thing and then there was like there was some taping off and then i had to stand in front of like the tape got it yeah what all right let me tell you about something that happened to me this weekend i was i went to the boston college football game with my friends yep and we're sitting there we're having a grand old time we're like up in the nosebleeds yeah it was awesome it was just like a party up there and uh which there's no bad seat in alumni stadium you've always said that i've always said that and we won we beat is it called alumni stadium alumni stadium why they kind of mailed

that um yeah i donated it one time i in college i made a fake twitter i i would do this all the time where i'd make twitter accounts yeah i feel like this was like a common theme with yeah so i made it at boston college and one of the l's was just like a capital i so it looks like exactly like boston college and took their logo and everything and i tweeted like the alumni have failed to raise enough money this year so we are now changing the stadium's name to exxon mobile stadium and i photoshopped it and said like exxon mobile stadium and it like blew up like people they thought it was real and my i was i was very close friends with one of my professors and not in like a week wait what show is that where you're talking about like college is awesome

everyone came to the parties the professors that i think it's in the office maybe or something i don't know professors came to your party there's a guy who like didn't go to college anyway um but i was friends with this one professor and he was like dude this is getting like circulated around like people are like pissed they're trying to figure out who did it the professor yeah he told me he's like i know you did it and like i'm i'm just telling you they're like trying to find you and so i just like deleted my account and oh man um anyway yeah that was the alumni stadium thing oh we're at the game and my friend katya is like i got a soft pretzel and it has salt on it now didn't they used to have sesame seeds when we

were in college and we were all like what she's like the pretzels they used to have sesame seeds instead of salt the soft pretzels and everyone's like that has never been a thing that has ever happened to soft pretzels salt salt's like the it's like the most famous thing on it's the most famous thing about a soft yeah so we were all like we were all kind of like laughing about it like what are you talking about next morning she sends these screenshots in the group jet she found an old article from the bc student newspaper and it's the art the article is like why the hell do the soft pretzels at the football games have sesame seeds on them and the whole article is like literally that's not a thing anywhere in the world no one has ever made soft pretzels with

sesame seeds on them it's not good like it needs salt anyway it was just cracking me up that's so funny the only thing you could find documentation of it was people being like what is this is like you guys don't remember this yeah anyway no i don't remember it at all i don't think i ever got soft pretzels at the game maybe yeah i guess that's not like a thing you're focused on yeah yeah but anyway apparently bc was the only place like in the world that would put soft sesame seeds on their soft pretzels that's like the equivalent of your friend being like i'm not crazy the beers used to be warm here right they would do hot yeah literally i was like no why would anybody it's also just funny to think about like maybe some guy at bc was like

i'm gonna be a trailblazer or he's like i'm gonna be a prankster maybe yeah i mean can you google boston college sesame seed pretzel having a guy in a suit of armor google that we have to be the first guy that's ever done that right yeah i mean we're the first we're like the second people have googled this i saw someone tweet the other day that their their dream job is to be the guy that google's stuff on a podcast oh yeah wait no look go to that bc heights article and then scroll down to the so yeah getting rid who put sesame seeds on a pretzel because if bc athletics isn't already a running gag could you imagine what would happen if the national press finds out that conti forum concessions actually refuses to put salt

on a staple stadium snack which literally requires salt oh my god that's like even down down to the concession stands there's no one at bc athletics no one knows anything right yeah it's like oh my god even we're fucking up it was it's insane anyway but we won wow for wells yeah and we had a great and i had a great and then i was supposed to fly home saturday and i was having so much fun i changed my flight to sunday and i just was in boston all day with my buddies and it was the best it was like one of those days in the northeast that's just like a little you get like you get like bite in the air you get like 10 a year yeah oh tiny bite but like warm in the sun it was what day was it september 9th 12th

fuck we also we always used to have a joke that or i guess not a joke it's just a thought that september 9th is like the best main day okay yeah of all time because it's like not fully full yet but you get a little when you get a little fucking bite just a hair it's like when when we went to the boston marathon yeah yeah it was around that temperature i think because you get it on the spring side a little bit that's like april the fall mid-april oh my god i would fucking it was i would shoot a man to have every day be september 9th yeah i would shoot it's like that we pick bad bad trolley problem we pick him would you because he'll survive would you shoot a man to prevent it from ever being september 11th because it's always september 9th

that is sort of the trolley problem it's like the bad trolley problem yeah or what about like it's like everyone everyone that one trolley problem gets no one ever talks about the other trolley problem they ran out of pretzels in the snack cart or something the troll no one talked about the other trolley problem where they ran out of pretzels the hole puncher wouldn't the tickets were too thick for the hole punchers yeah i mean the guy had a problem it's sort of like lou gehrig's other disease crotch fungus crotch fungus so many guys die of crotch fungus because there's no funding for it because als got like was way more you know oh my god they got they get all the money now because they got to be lou gehrig's disease how do they even get

the rights to that yeah do you think lou gehrig was like hey man i'm more than just als he signed a deal with like the disease yeah yeah this is now lou gehrig lou gehrig lou gehrig paid money to sponsor the disease yeah yeah it's not like if you have like some obscure condition you should like find a famous person that has it and try to make it like oh like for instance my battle with yeah what is impetigo that's what i actually had it was like a bacterial infection the babies get from eating dirt oh you had hand button you had hand foot and mouth hand foot and ass no it's not hand foot mouth it's different but i'm gonna find another person that had that when they were a kid and trying to name it like Leonardo DiCaprio's disease.

Noah Beck disease. But he had it when he was like a baby, so yeah. Or Noah Beck disease. I'd way rather get hand, foot, and mouth than dick, balls, and ass. Dick, balls, and ass disease. Oh, God. That took me out for like a month. Oh, my God.

Do you feel better now? I was also sick last week. Yeah, dude, I woke up and just. Today? No. like saturday morning yeah i would say it was like friday or saturday it was like a week and then but i was bummed because i was like sick when i was home but i guess that is like in theory the best time to be sick no no but not really right not at all you want to be sick when

you are not on vacation yeah i know what scenario would that well because like my mom was like making me food and true you know what i mean like yeah i didn't have it i wasn't really working so i was like being stuck being sick as an adult sucks because you don't have like a mom anymore i don't have a mom at all i got barbecue last night dylan i ordered i thought about it so much where'd you go blood sows baby blue yeah buddy what'd you get we got like the family platter oh my god it was like 150 dollars i was gonna say that's like crazy it's fucking awesome it was well we were like we're just gonna make scott pay us for this when he gets home because he's gonna want it and sure enough he sat down he was like oh you got barbecue we're like thank god

Because we did not want to have to split this two-way. So what's in it? Like everything? It was everything. Brisket, chicken, ribs. Cornbread. Cornbread. Collard greens.

Don't say it like that. Pickles. Mac and cheese. The mac and cheese is so good. Oh, crap. Don't say it like that. Oh, crap. Pickles.

It's like barbecue restaurants in the future. Mac and cheese. Pickles. That's our worst bit yet. Ribs. Onion. nachos smoke you're like honestly honestly i'm kind of shocked all the menu items are the same

it's pretty much the same go to the go to barbecue restaurant in the future like chris your total is 15.99 whoa got cheaper got inflation under control nice no tip required okay all right well or is that because they're robots though yeah do you think we're gonna have to be like tipping robots at some point it'll just go to the company i don't know man like do you think waymo is gonna start asking us for tips i hope i'm not doing it i took a taxi home from the airport yesterday which i usually do when i'm leaving because there's just so easy yeah sometimes getting ubers is a shit show the guy just took me

the worst route possible dude you know what they do is it's because it's more money it's time i had a guy i had a guy miss an exit on purpose when i told him i was like hey it's this one yeah and he was like i got it and just went around it yeah you added like fucking three dollars to this now that was annoying but the guy told me he was nice i accidentally kicked him i was like i have my headphones in and i was sitting like this and he was really back far back oh yeah so i just kind of kicked him i didn't even notice he goes oh hey i think that might be when he took the long route i was like oh i'm so sorry i'm so sorry it's okay it's okay it's okay you ever seen lords of dog town so that i was like now i have to talk about movies with

this guy because i just kicked him he was like probably stoked he was like oh kick me he has to talk to me now that's the rule it's in the handicap i forgot about that rule it's in the taxi book oh my god hey mr taxi book did i tell you about the uber driver i had that was so tall when his seat was back like that too but we were just like kind of at eye level that was almost what this was he was uh he was in like a really small it was like a not prius but the yaris or whatever the really small it's like it's like smart car shape yeah like toyota and he was all the way back and so it was it was literally like he was driving from the back seat and i was sitting next to him and it was like this is a fuck this is the worst job you could have picked yeah this

is the one occupation you shouldn't do it is so fucking awkward because what if you had more people in there that's a good question i don't know i don't know what he would have done he would have shrunk sit in the front seat i guess shrunk we could have shrunk him probably um can i'm so sorry i have to go to number two right now or else it'll be a problem This episode is brought to you by Bear Bells. I'm rocking with the Camp S'mores. Give me that. I want to eat it.

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Hey, I am so sorry about that. There was just poop coming out of my ass for like 12 minutes. Just had to squeeze it. The craziest thing just happened. I just tab up is always mine. Fab up is always mine. Which I get a disproportionate amount of shit online when people see this. Why?

They get mad about it. Oh, I'm sorry. I like it because I can be talking to you, and I can find my top lip with this thing without having to look down at my beard. You can find my lip almost anywhere. Anywhere, yeah. Bro, my lip's been everywhere. He gets insane lip.

He gives insane lip. Just kissing it. Yeah, she gave me lip. It's just Is that kind of do you like that Andrew? I was just wondering can you drink with it weird? You can't like fully get your lip. I never I never put it down for some reason Does it poke your nose kind of looks right here? Well, we did this thing called forever beers when we were like 14. Did I tell you this? Yeah

Everyone had to have like everyone had like a way that their tab went and if you caught one of your buddies and with their tab not in that position then they had to finish their beer and the guy who picked up his ass regretted that very quickly oh why did i do it this way fuck i should have gone left right yeah probably just on the left or like up or something up is up's got to be way better than on my ass you got the easiest one what is everyone else's phil's is like left i don't know brandon's is we were 14 i think i'm the only one still does it okay nice but i mean on the off chance phil comes into the office i don't want to have to slam my mug zero yeah can you imagine oh my god dude i just opened oh fuck

phil's here how did he even get here what's he on vacation he didn't tell me phil made me laugh this weekend with it with a text he can see into the steelers stadium from his uh apartment yeah the national anthem was going off and he was like do i have to take my hat off from here wait what okay workaholic he's there on a sunday morning did i say his office i thought he said his office i meant his apartment did he say his office or i thought you said your office he can from his apartment he can see and gotta go i thought you were saying he can see the steeler stadium from your office i guess you're on my side i guess he's on my side oh man um okay let's talk about it yeah elephant in the room yep you look great thank you dude do you think if there was ever

a vacuum cleaner big enough it could suck up like a whole house yeah you know that's a really good question yeah i think so yeah andrew i'm doubtful you know my grandparents moved their whole house like instead of like switching just moving into a new house they took their house and moved it to a different place how is that possible i don't know i literally have no idea was it all together do they do it like bit by bit that's a really good question i the way they made it seem like the oven out or do they like just dude literally like the whole house they just like separate it from the foundation and like moved it to a different lot can you google how they do that can i confess something yeah i do think there would be a vacuum

big enough to suck up a house but i felt like if we both agreed there wouldn't be good like material for the podcast that's a good point that's good that's good you're a pro you need to be the contrarian yeah but if it i mean if it was big enough it definitely would right right right but like they uh maybe they moved it they just moved it like to a different part of the lot but they yeah they like wait so how do they do it they lift it off its foundation with hydraulic jacks and hauling it on heavy-duty dollies. You ever rip a hydraulic

jack? Yeah, look at that. Isn't that fucking crazy? Imagine, like, you looking at... Imagine you're looking out the window and the neighbor's house swirls by. Yeah. It's like when... Have you ever

been in your parked car and the car in the spot next to you is reversing? yeah and you think you're moving my house we're moving they had uh so that same house there was like when they bought it there was like a guy that came with it who like maintained the he was like their landscaper or whatever and for some reason like lived in like a jack shack type thing on the property or whatever and uh they got this dog my grandma was like always getting dogs and apparently was like just not working out so she asked the guy if he wanted the dog and he was like yeah and uh apparently it was like a biter right so it would the guy or the dog the dog

the dog was a biter like when you try and put its food down yeah it would like just bite your hand or whatever and my grandparents didn't oh i just thought of a saying that doesn't exist hit me don't bite the hand that feeds you yeah yeah uh yeah that's real right you've never heard that that's a real one that's a good one actually yeah my dad would say that when you were like getting a little lippy really don't bite the hand that feeds you man obviously i know that i'm the goat of saying that's like asking lebron if he knows what a basketball is it's like asking lebron if he knows about dunking yeah dunking he does it all the time i interrupted you so he so he lives there with this dog for like 12 years and it isn't telling

anyone not that he needs to but isn't it has never come up that the dog is like constantly biting him and he gets this new girlfriend who like he's over at the house and uh he goes and he's like yeah i had to put the dog down to my grandmother she was like what like what happened like did it bite her it bit her one time and she was like it's me or the dog i could bit her her hoo-ha yeah dude bitter hoo-ha clean off imagine imagine getting a new boyfriend getting a new boyfriend you go to put the food down bite your hoo-ha clean off i'd go it's me or the dog it's like well now i feel like the dog you have to pick the dog yeah i think at that point you

got oh she's got no hoo-ha i mean yeah you do you do not want to be caught this i've been in this situation you do not want to be the guy with a hoo-ha this girlfriend yeah it is boring can i say something funny i was we why are we recording at a weird time today uh netters wanted to switch got it well i have a meeting i'm at 11 every monday okay that i just told laura i couldn't go to but i when i was out there using the john i was like oh i'm gonna go fill up my cup of coffee and so i just like bust into the room to get my coffee and it's the full meeting is happening and i'm wearing these sunglasses and everyone's kind of in the kitchen no in the sketch we have our own coffee maker got it yeah you guys are doing it big over there man i just

got it last week i'm very excited about it yeah is it pot or keurig pot nice yeah i don't like keurigs i uh i'm a i'm a k-cup man yeah i'm a k-cup man because i just i'm only i'm only having one cup of coffee none of my roommates drink coffee yeah you don't get down like i do ty can't drink coffee why his heart he can't take it it can't take it no it reminds me of her it actually his heart what do you mean he had like heart surgery when he was a kid so he can't really he can't get too excited either like there's like all that's like why he's so like chill he is super chill i just think he's like not allowed to get excited he's not allowed to get like amped up

is that why he doesn't watch like Mets or anything I mean literally like he lives a pretty low octane life and I think it's as a result

like even if you're out at the bar with him he's chilling he's not you don't see him dancing no you're right you don't see him going like crazy

you don't see him ever do this move he never hits the puppet master anymore yeah but he will oh I figured out the solo puppet master

by the way you just do your own legs yeah I like that you can do it with like as many people as you want now because now that I figured this out

yeah you all get in a circle but then the crazy thing is he'll go for like six mile runs yeah i think he just doesn't like zone two sprint i guess i don't know yeah probably keeps his heart rate down he's he's back into wife beaters now we were we were chilling yesterday yeah he was in a black wife theater and i was like holy shit that's awesome it's kind of badass it's so sick dude and he looks cool in it which is frustrating yeah like even if i wanted to get into wife beaters it's hard to hard hard launch it's you were just having

a bad day man it's so tough it's so tough to i like i can't move my neck yeah you can't talk either it feels like yeah no i can't talk because i can't move my neck something about the chainmail makes your facial hair look really cool really am i crazy it looks like really full oh wait it doesn't look full like without the chain though i think it's because you have a time i think you might need to go just mustache and goatee this looks badass the way like imagine if really Everything behind the chainmail was gone. You'd look like... Maybe, yeah.

You'd look like fucking Mr. Beast. You'd look like Mr. Bees. Mr. Bees? Last person to get... First person to get stung gets a million dollars. Last person to leave the hive... Last person to leave the hive gets a million pounds of honey. Dude, I'm back in on honey.

I'm all in on Mr. Bees, man. Let's make this channel... Let's make it. Mr. Bees. Oh, man. Oh, this is good. Dude, if the Bee movie came out in 2026. 20 bees versus one hornet.

I bet if the Bee movie came out in 2026, Mr. Bees would be like a character. Yeah? That's so funny. Mr. Last Person. Oh, man. You know, I still have never been stung. Really? Yeah, never been stung.

Did I ever tell you about my... One million sting scribers. Did I tell you about my cousin Michael's bee incident? We were kids. And we're in Maine. he's rolling around in the grass and uh there was a hornet's nest like in the ground i didn't even know this was like an an option and he rolled over it and a couple of them got in his uh shorts and were stinging his penis and balls like repeatedly and he ran inside and took his

pants off and so now there were like bees or hornets like in the house my uncle was like clapping them and catching them it was fucking my uncle we're like dude stay focused your uncle horny ass dude immediately starts clapping dude keep your eye on the ball here my uncle is clapping one of the bees like honestly that's impressive how do you even get that in there i killed a spider in my car this morning and it kind of made me sad yeah isn't there something i was just like why how big how big does an animal have to get before it's like it affects your day that you killed it you know what i mean like you can kill a mosquito you can kill a spider yeah but like if i like

killed a squirrel in my car i was gonna say i think squirrel might be the threshold no chip because you can kill chipmunk dude tell my dad that what he had he has this chipmunk problem at our house yeah and he got like a high powered bb like pellet gun and uh i watched him do it it's pretty fucking crazy it has like a scope on it oh yeah man is that bad well one of them could be a singer the problem is the house is made of wood and that's like their thing is like they're gonna eat it or they're gonna like get in clap it they're gonna clap it's like humping the fuck out of the porch hey you've humped a hole into my bedroom yeah i uh yeah i don't know i i think anything that's i think it's it may it may it might have less to do the size and more with this

species yeah do you this might be a really dumb question but do spiders have hearts like do spiders have like organs the same way that i don't think so i have no idea how does the spider even stay alive there's no way it has a little heart right does it can you look does spider have a little heart because i feel like that might be the threshold like if it has a heart yeah whoa whoa whoa did you see the auto correct there what it said does spider have puss puss what the hell are you googling on here go back they're like keep going back like go and that yeah what is this what is does spider have puss puss no spiders do not have external jail why is that an option can you go to that surely that's a reference to something right

yeah it's a reddit thing oh yeah best answer no all right uh wait so google does do spiders have hearts a little heart yes the spider has a little heart it's a little wow okay have you ever seen that tweet by blake griffin it's like i just ran over a squirrel and i've been thinking about all day casey anthony is a monster that's all time oh man we hit a family of skunks one time yeah or just like the the last two um and my buddy so we come up over the hill and this family scrunks is crossing the road scrunks scrunks this family of skunks i think we were actually coming from the strunk's house believe it or not family friend but we come over this hill and uh he like swerved and he just clipped the last two skunks like baby skunks and i like put my head in my

hands and he looked up into his rear view mirror and like put his hand on me and he was like do not turn around he was like it was he was shaking up for like a fucking while oh i don't know i do when i was in montauk when we were in montauk saying it weird right am i saying that weird no we were montauk i was i went i ran i went on this run to the out to this like lighthouse and back and most of the run is like kind of along this like not like it's called the montauk highway but it's not like a highway right it was like a just one lane going each way but they're going 50 miles an hour or something but like really wide shoulders that i was running on and uh i i was on my way back i saw a deer and i stopped and i was like oh hey buddy like and i kept going and it started following

me and i was like well this is kind of like a beautiful like nature moment but i'm also on the shoulder of a highway so i'm right i know i'm not going to jump into traffic but i don't know he's not going to jump into traffic now i'm responsible for this that's what literally i was like i think i'm responsible for this deer i have to make sure this thing goes back into the woods and then we get to the part that's like a bridge so then there's no woods on either side and it follows me up onto it i'm like oh my god now the only way for it to go is into traffic and so it was right on a curve so the cars were whipping around and didn't see it so i i was like like like waving to the cars like slow down slow down slow down because like i i don't know what the protocol is there but

if a deer is like right on the edge of the lane i feel like i'm doing i feel like i should tell cars to slow down right because they will do that right they'll just like jump in yeah eventually it turned around and went back but i was like it was like a whole thing you're like rocky for deers i was like rocky for deer you're like running and they slowly you haven't seen rocky but there's a there's a great scene yeah he's running through philadelphia and all these people start running after him really they're like rooting for him and he goes up the steps he does go up the steps and then he does like the big like yeah yeah yeah i started a lot i started re-watching lost yesterday

are they still there yeah they haven't found them have you seen that show i watched like the first season i got bored when it became like uh supernatural i guess this is the part where you'd think you'd stop being bored well i would argue that it kind of gets it's like already a little like supernatural yeah i think i just can't go i don't know but i guess i didn't make it very far then yeah what so how are you how are you liking it i'm i've seen it already i just i like it again don't you already know how it ends isn't the ending like horrible uh yeah i i watched it probably 10 to 12 years ago what's the ending well i don't want to i i actually don't want to yeah we can't spoil it i'm there were like 30 years ago no and i've already seen the whole

thing but like every episode i'm like oh that's i forgot about so i'm like i'm trying to not not even think about it think about it because i don't totally remember did you hear what happened with the writing of that what the jj abrams would be like yeah and then there's a polar bear and they're like fuck how do we yeah yeah yeah well like wait what basically jj abrams was like brought on to help co-write it right with the writer i thought it was his idea though no uh i can't remember if it was like is this a well-known guy like should i know who this is gracie abrams dad nice director of the new star wars he does like all the transformer movies yeah he's like a big action guy got it like from the 2010s and uh yeah he would pitch them all these crazy ideas

oh he did super eight i think so right i thought that was google it google it google it google it google it you won't sorry i'm listening though uh yeah you're right snipe makes sense there's a lot of good action oh spielberg was producer part of it yeah um anyway jj abrams would like pitch all these crazy ideas like there'll be a polar bear on this island and they'd be like oh but like how are we gonna do that and he'll be like ah you guys will figure it out later like let's just do it and so they put in all these wacky ideas and then jj abrams got the call to do the transformer movies and was like all right well good luck everybody and just left the project so they're like now we have to fucking connect the dots somehow tie up all the loose ends that

he had just left when he went to do the transformer movies and they were like fuck oh my god yeah wait so why was the polar bear there don't i don't want to spoil it i don't know i'm not gonna watch it dude no i'm saying for myself i feel like you're missing what i'm trying to say here i don't want to talk about i don't even want to try to remember i don't want to like pull those thoughts out of my head because like i don't really remember it's been literally like 12 years i think and how many okay what no you want to spoil a loss for me you've already seen it yeah but what you didn't even know you didn't even we wouldn't have wanted to spoil it if i hadn't brought it up so i feel like i have the right to be like did you fart no did you i did not actually we'd know if andrew did

does it smell yeah i i might just be stinking dude i i have a pair my boxers uh i'm pulling a willie d now for some reason one of my pairs has like a perfect hole right on the balls and i was chilling before i took my shower and i was just out in the living room and then i was like oh my god my like penis and balls were out and i was like i could have scarred z for life yeah well mine mine's just in the shorts so there's still a liner and underwear in between so no one needs to work you wear both a liner and underwear well the shorts have a built-in liner oh and then you wear underwear on top of that under it wait you're saying if you have shorts and a liner you just don't wear underwear yeah to work isn't that what that's for yeah there's no liner the underwear

yeah but then if you get pants oh that's true uh we do pants a lot of people yeah we're getting pants i also wear like when i run like long distance i wear shorts with a liner and i wear underwear under it really that feels like too much uh it's a guy in the another guy in the race pants no it's like the only way i found that i don't chafe is that fun yeah of course if chafing is like too much chafing is like the best um yeah it's definitely like it's definitely overkill but no it's good for me i wear very thin breathable like liner like almost like compression short style briefs now that we're talking about it that is kind of a good like i would wear baggies to school like most days in high school and that's

just like a mesh liner like i was probably hanging brain you didn't wear underwear no all the time yeah i i that i just always worried about getting pantsed i always cut the liner out and then one time i was at like it was like a family event but it wasn't my family and i looked down and my dick balls were like fully out of my shorts wait you cut the liner out and then you don't wear boxers at all no and i started wearing boxers underneath it brother do both yeah what the liner the you can't cut the liner out and then have a liner doesn't mean you could you well we were swimming i was wearing a swimsuit i just cut the liner out oh so it wasn't commando okay that makes sense That makes more sense.

Okay. But no, you shouldn't cut the liner out then. I remember, I can't remember the exact like situation, but it was a pool party vibe. And I was wearing a pair of my dad's like old shorts and I had to tie them like really, really tight. Like wood. And even then I couldn't get them fully tight enough. And do you ever dive with shorts that aren't tight or they're not tight enough? Sure.

they just come completely off and the panic of trying to get your shorts back on yep in a pool oof no bueno i that's like my dream them coming off or that happened in front of you that's a good question both two of us jumped in at the same time it's like the red bull stunt where they switch planes you and i dive in at the same time can we switch shorts now that i like this dude that guy those both those guys lost their pilot's license because of that do you know what we're talking about andrew no these two red bull pilots i don't really know what you're talking about either these two red bull pilots are flying their planes and they both jump out and try and go skydive into each other's planes and one guy

did it and one guy did not so the plane just crashed yeah and they lost their pilots i mean it's fair but the guy who the guy who landed it too lost it also fair i mean it just crashed in the yeah pull this pull i don't like the fucking world trade center oh my god imagine if 9-11 was a red bull stun gun wrong yeah and al-qaeda was like oh this is perfect it was us yeah watch this this is fucking so nuts dude so they just jumped out of their planes there are no one in those planes i know i was worried about that as well so this guy gets in and then the other guy i think just like misses and it crashes into the desert

or maybe the plane had a parachute on it like in case Yeah, the plane had a parachute. Imagine if Awkwafina was, like... We're sending you to the moon. We're going to go to the Mariana Trench. Do you think... Like, what? Mariana Trench, Mariana...

You know the first guy to, like, go to the bottom of it was James Cameron? Yeah. Really? yeah or like yeah I think he was actually the first guy to go to the deepest part of the ocean is that where he found the avatar people no he found them I think in I want to say uh Ohio no it was like uh southwestern southwestern Arkansas that's some shit that would go down in Ohio bro yeah like yeah dude I was at I played trivia on on Tuesday with my parents in Maine oh nice and uh are they big are they good oh yeah yeah we were pretty yeah we were we were

doing really well and then the wheels came off at the end because there was like movies and shit and but yeah that is a big blind spot that didn't know and that was yeah it was there was a movie round and it just be like if it was like a news news during the bush era or like cable tv 2008 cable tv it's just like it just doesn't exist it was a bummer because we started off hot But there was one question, too. There was a question, like, about, um, the answer was Skibbity Toilet. You're fucking joking. Yeah.

Is that, like, a movie that's coming out? It was, like, a YouTube channel. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that's what it was. Well, like, they're coming out with a movie now. Yeah, isn't, I'm not joking, isn't James Cameron directing it? I think he is. Or, no, it's, like, what?

Dude, it's, like, some fucking huge director is directing the Skibbity Toilet movie. michael bay is fucking directing the skibbity toilet movie will what is so what what it's not it's a youtube series to try and understand it is like like i would have a better time explaining like quantum physics to you than what skibbity toilet is it's a it's a guy's head in a toilet and he says Viral CGI animated YouTube web series about a war between singing

human headed toilets and a resistance army of cyborgs with cameras speakers and TVs for heads Can you go to images? Makes sense I think we need to show him like just go to videos I think we need to show him Scapity Toilet unfortunately Season 1

What the heck is going on on you What the heck is going on on you? How many users is that? Uh, 68 million. Hearing Andrew's breastplate go when he laughs.

what if your dad got it he's like oh it's uh skibby toilet do you think you'd be like i would do you think you'd disown him as a no i would um go home if your dad knew about skibby toilet at trivia i think i i think i'd have a hard time like looking you'd be like oh yeah i love that he's like i didn't know people knew about that i we went to a niche you went to a seadogs game and they played the rumble ponies i didn't get your jersey by the way that's okay They were kind of uggo. Yeah. There was a Harry Potter one that I was going to get you, but it was so uggo.

I was like, you'll be like, oh, and then you'll never wear it in your life. Got it. Okay. Did they do the Better Call Portland Glass thing? They did do it. Yeah. Every foul ball, Andrew, they go. Not every foul ball, though.

It was like very infrequent. I think they have like a, it used to be every single one. I think they had like a sweeping deal. Now they do like a duck noise on a lot of them. I bet Portland, they'll like, we'll give you like four foul balls. I think that's, yeah. But the Mets, we were there to see the Mets, two of the Mets, actually three of the Mets' top five prospects were all on this team.

So we were very excited. First inning, they're batting one, two, three. Single, double, home run, three run. Oh! We're like, now this is the real deal. After that, Mets ended up losing 14 to six or something. It was like a beatdown, and all those guys just struck out a ton. Isn't Hadley Field awesome?

Hadlock. is it hadlock what's hadley field pull up hadley field that's something else oh it's an airport in south plainfield new jersey that's what you're thinking i was thinking of the the oh it's where the u.s air mail service usually goes sorry i was thinking of it from my packages did you take a photo with slugger now slugger got like weirdly handsy dude are you joking because i i think there's there's some validity to this apparently what i well there was like the other mascot who was a trash can yeah and he'd like he would like eat people yeah and i think they were not happy with yeah the trash can mascot ate me out at the game you imagine getting

getting getting lit from the trash can mascot oh my god that's like so fucking awesome you come back in your crotch reeks and your dad's like you totally wait i got a funny story sorry can i of it uh on so you know that that german song that's like all the rage yes isn't it awesome yeah so good so i i was showing my friends this weekend and we were all loving it everyone loved it obviously it's crack for the ears and then we were at the bar on saturday night and uh it was like a very packed bar vibe and i like stopped uh one of the servers and i was like could you play a song she's like i can't play a song and so i paid her five dollars to go play it oh and it brought the house down and then i went like losing their minds and then i went and doubled

it well my friends and then i gave i did it again and then i tried to go a third time she was like all right no that's how many so that my friend i had my friends go and pretend like they didn't know me or work with us and try to pay her to play the song they were like no no this is over i think even i think i think she made the right decision 100 if they played it a third time people would be like all right but it's awesome it brought the house down it did were you do you listen to it like when you're on the plane back um no i did i did sleeping to it no no i was listening to phoebe bridger i've been that album is so goddamn good i've been i haven't heard it in my bag with that one but uh i listened to it on the train to boston

on a train back to boston i was i literally jumped the gun i'm serious you don't have the first guy to jump the gun on the boston train i legitimately jumped the gun what's your also stella lefty is like that's like she's like the everyone's like up in arms or all worked up you know we we used to hang out with her what we talked to her she was standing right next to us at that spotify grammys thing we went to in like january me and you yeah did i say hello uh i think so yeah nice i'm here's my thing on it uh i i think it's annoying when like just because someone's parents are successful they're like all the comments are like her dad's a fucking billionaire like she could she could do like whatever this is so fucking annoying and it's like

i don't what do you want her i get that people are mad that she's like stealing but it's i my thing is like people aren't actually mad they just like want someone to hate like what i don't have an opinion really on it and i just and i don't really listen to it and that's like fine yeah music is good like if the art is good i don't really see the problem like gracie abrams makes good music so yeah i wouldn't be upset and her dad made like super eight and her dad what do you want like what do they want i think for to do i want like every kid whose parents are billionaires to just like fuck off and not do ever anything well i can't say what they want because i think whoever these people are obviously freaks yeah but what i think that like gracie

abrams has done and like i think i saw an interview with like will ferrell's kid recently whereas he's crushing it that was him that's what i'm saying like i think what she has done that is not helping her case is like she has not like really made any she just like is trying to like just kind of ignore it and move on but like i feel like with like i've gracie has done interviews where she talks about like understanding like that her opportunities have come from a place of like privilege and like success and i i feel like there's like a she could do herself a huge favor if she just like acknowledged did a podcast and just like yeah talked about it and was honest but like but then you're like making it the norm where you have to apologize i don't think it's about you

don't have to apologize i think it's just like a reckoning with it like i think that's true it is a valid thing that it's like that does that mean she shouldn't be able to make music like no like but i think it's worth being like i don't know yeah she doesn't have to do anything i just feel like she would do herself a favor i mean by just don't notice our uncle is peter teal our my uncle is peter tarling the math it's like really yeah it's really confusing it's one of those family situations where the uncle's younger than the i want to be in one of those families where the uncle's younger than the niece yeah we do it can we do that later yeah okay did you recognize her at the spotify event yeah okay so you knew of her music view uh yeah yeah like from like tiktok and

like i feel like i'd seen like her and dylan gossett are like right next to each other on the stagecoach lineup all right yeah one summer i remember spending basically the entire day outside with friends we're just going back and forth hanging out grabbing food grabbing the food back from each other just enjoying the weather and at some point everyone was sitting around with a cold Mountain Dew in hand and that's kind of what I like about summer you know those random days that turn into memories you actually remember and a cold Dew just kind of fits fits that day that refreshing citrus kick right when you've been outside in the heat all day it's perfect guys this episode is brought to you by our good friends over at Dr. Squatch

Alright I want to bark off right now Best bark wins Loser has to live with it for the rest of the episode Ready Woo That's pretty good Woof Oh you are such a loser for that

What You didn't even try I did like the cool guy bark Like cool dogs be like that Dog who's cool I've been getting barked out Guys, Dr. Squatch and I Show Speed launched the Speed Run Million Dollar Mission. Nine weeks of challenges, 25 chances to win, a million dollars in prizes.

A new challenge drops every week, and anyone can enter. This week, it's the Speed Bark. There are Dr. Squatch displays in Walmart with a picture of Speed on them. Go find one, film yourself barking at it, and the best bark wins. Maybe you can even try the Cool Guy Bark. There are nine briefcases hidden around the world, and a new clue is out this week. The clues get more obvious as the campaign goes on. I've got a theory.

I think it might be on top of a grape. I think it's under the Eiffel Tower. I think it's on top of a grape. Get to Walmart, find the Dr. Squatch display, bark at speed, then check speedrunmdm.com for the rules and this week's briefcase clue. Listen, if I'm putting together the ultimate summer cooler, there's one thing that absolutely has to make the cut. What is it?

Mountain Dew because summer is all about getting outside and making plans with your friends. Whatever the plan is, an ice cold dew is basically part of the experience. And that refreshing citrus flavor is perfect after you've been out in the sun all day. There's a reason people have been enjoying it for generations. Mountain Dew was proudly born in the foothills of Tennessee in 1948, making it an American original that's been tasting great since 48. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew, an American original tasting great since 48. Should we road map it up?

Let's do it. We have a beautiful episode for you guys today. We're going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches. Then we're going to do This Guy Rocks. Should we do some confessions? Yeah. We'll do confessions. We'll do Teach Me Something. Then we're going to do Curb Your Enthusiasm Plots That Don't

Exist and more slang words that don't exist. That's right. Let do it. Dear mind, body, and soul. Soul? body p.s rusty i know your horny ass chose body i saw that and i that's why i chose soul i totally don't show reading it i totally would have chose body what is the worst part about having a dog oh my god lately soul the fucking shedding dude we like got my mom's new dog our house is just like 60 hair it sounds like my mom is just vacuuming constantly now barking crap bites

your hoo-ha off introducing but it's your new girlfriend's hoo-ha clean off smooth off smooth off introducing the fucking dog crap ray gun when there is so much fucking dog crap you pull out the ray gun and fucking zap it's gone you don't have to be carrying crap bags full of fucking crap and you may even find a new smoochie because you're carrying a ray gun and not crap i love you guys so much huge fan from cape cod maria's klinus nice thank you maria's klinus i'm excited to hear the science by our engineers will get on the science yeah you shoot the crap do you have to shoot the crap the fucking crap do you shoot the fucking crap with the fucking ray gun and then it where's the crap go to go to space immediately teleported to them i like that

i'm in milky way uh okay what's the worst what's the worst part about days like today where it's 65 degrees in the morning, and it's 80 degrees at fucking 1130. Knowing how to dress. Bingo. Knowing how to dress. I wanted to wear a long-sleeve shirt this morning, but I was like, I don't have to fucking carry it around if I take it off. Yeah.

I want shirts that zip off like those cargo pants that kids used to wear in elementary school that zip off from pants into shorts, but it's just long-sleeve shirt, but it Velcros off or like magnets off into a short-sleeve shirt. How does that not exist yet? wait it's a don't they have zip off long sleeve shirt that you zip off and now it's a short sleeve shirt does that already exist right i think so yeah fuck i should have googled it before right yeah well google yeah i think you can zip these off yeah but that's like a jacket you're right you're right like these all look stupid as fuck i don't even know i don't think that one's even

is it wait wait does that one zip off on the chest too go back that third one on the shopping thing what oh my god it does exist oh wow in case you want to just wear the shoulders of it that looks like something you would need for like berghain exactly yeah yeah should we wear that wearing that to hanano should we try to get into burger let's do youtube video we got into berghain with mark sanchez jerseys yep all right pitch me willie all right what is the worst part about re-watching an old show you know it happens you kind of remember some things that happen yeah here's my pitch show changer it's basically the same but they change up a few key plot points for you just when they film it they film like a few different options they choose your own yeah but

there's just like two yeah and then you can re-watch it and it's like totally new but you still got all the same guys and stuff i like that yeah i like that a lot and your thoughts uh yeah is there gonna be like extra sex scenes no unless it's with kate from lost is she the blonde one pull up kate from lost she's the she's she ian summerholder's brother that seems physically impossible wait is ian summerholder the guy who plays charlie uh let me see i think they were dating wait she's a man uh kate from oh no no that's the guy who plays boone or whatever oh doesn't he have a sister yeah yeah he has a sister in the show oh yeah yeah is he what else is he he's in uh vampire diaries yeah he's i was literally i was watching i was like this guy's

gotta be in like some like dude he like ran the fucking 2000s really he's huge uh he's one of the best looking guys i've ever seen in my life or there's another really good looking guy in lost kind of an asshole yeah he's kind of got that rugged southern but Kate in that movie or in that show is

dynamite wait this guy's the rugged southern guy kind of looks like a pretty like Swedish guy he's a rugged southern guy he was in community nice he was in who else was in community Kirk Fox did you guys ever talk about it

no really You guys didn't talk about Community once. No, but he just did something with Hurley, he told me. Peter Hurley? No, the guy from Lost. Talking about Lost characters, and your two guesses were a guy we worked with. What about... Oh, I love that guy.

You know that Weezer has an album just called Hurley, and it's just a picture of him? Hurley is... Yeah. This guy, this actor is in How I Met Your Mother for one episode. He's the Blitz. All right. Look, Hurley Weezer. Hurley Weezer is like a guy that I would say I went to high school with,

and then you'd be like, that's a crazy name. Yeah. That would be right. Yes. Oh, my God. Wait. Can I do my This Guy Rocks? Yeah.

Is that what we're doing right now? Yeah, yeah. Okay. This is all fun. I was also on a – whenever I'm, like, on a plane, especially if I went out the night before, it's just Reels City. The amount of Reels I was watching. They're full of spoiled deli meats and cheeses now sits outside Summerdale Cold Cuts.

Owner Johnny Gabagool says thieves stole the copper wires that supply cold air for the walk-in refrigerator. Save your owners and Johnny Gabagool. No fucking shot. You could see it was a quick job because they did. Put J.K. Rowling in the mafia mode. That's so fucking funny. Johnny Gabagool selling the work of Sammy Salami and the Mozzarella Mafia. That's hilarious.

vandals did not get inside the building that's hilarious um all time great job that guy rocks johnny gabagool okay uh andrew let's watch bind that rocks it's just a tab over oh yeah um so open my tab this is i was talking to you about these kinds of chairs actually the other day but so where that guy's nuts got stuck through the barstool was that not you we'll we'll talk about this this is a this is a guy like a he's going to get a new phone all right what do you do oh my god that's awesome so for the i know those types of chairs those those metal stools are like a slot A little slot in the middle.

So I have been getting these all over my reels. There was another guy. There was another guy whose balls got stuck to him and his friends are trying to push him back through. And one of his buddies is hitting his balls with a brick to get him to go back through. Oh my God. We had those at Lewis Barbecue. I used to stack those things all the time.

I think that they're convenient to grab. They are. Do you ever get your balls stuck in them? Never. no like the millennial burger joint yes exactly yeah but like we do things a little different they're like fucking fucking burger two brothers one dream yeah one beautiful bird two brothers one burger the menus like slap my ass and call me a dingle yeah so do you think that the son put his finger up his dad's butt or got his balls but but i feel like the top comment did you see

almost snap little bro's finger like a cigar cutter like his butthole like you like you clench so hard oh my god yeah that is can i watch it one more time yeah the fucking way he like jerks up is so funny getting a new phone that's awesome all right um do you want to do confessions yeah let's hear some confessions andrew when i was six years old my sister 12 at the time was babysitting me and offered me 20 to pee in a ziploc bag and put it on our grouchy neighbor's front porch my mom was pissed and never got my five dollars i think the the biggest the biggest sin is is it's just not that great of a prank yeah that's where like the the how old is she six wait offered you 20 you never

got your five what happened to the other 15 should have paid for the ziploc bag it's a good point yeah you should buy the pee off a homeless oh my god peeing into it as a girl peeing into a ziploc bag sounds like impossible no it lines up like perfectly oh when i was a kid i mean it'd be better it'd be harder to poop in it as a guy right i don't know man i don't know when i was a kid i pooped in a bucket in my garage is that true yeah the reek probably how'd you get rid of it no i didn't my dad did i think do you think he found it and yeah he was like god damn it fucking hate this family my family's so weird my family sucks you know it is funny like at some point your dad every dad probably had that thought like you just

have like weird ass kids and you're like god damn it my kids are fucking bizarre why did he do that i peed on the seat one time and my dad asked who did it i said it was casey which doesn't even make sense i don't know how a girl would pee on the seat very carefully he just took my word for it and just scolded her i think that was the right thing to do yeah Wait so what was Did you have to go When you were in the garage Or

No Purely nefarious I mean I mean the garage Was right next to the house So Right I think me and Owen Wallace

Talked about it And were like Let's poop in a bucket Oh this is a two man job I think I might have been The only one who did the pooping He held the bucket down Where you pooped in it

Yeah So he couldn't get away He held me down He held you down To your leg While I pooped in it On his shoulder He knelt with me

And yeah He held you He held you up like fireman's carry and he pooped over his but I won't drag him down I think it was my own volition

it is weird what like boredom you were probably just bored like some days you're just like I don't have I don't have anything to do yeah

what could we do we run out we played every game we're a little poop in that bucket yeah I mean that's what being young is about right

right yeah middle school this kid would always pee in a bag of grapes and then we just like launch it across the locker room he'd all those great bags

have tons of holes time out he'd always do this he'd always he was always peeing what was up in texas man well he didn't like he didn't like grapes and his mom would always pack him like great for lunch and so he'd pee in them and then he would like launch it over the side of the locker room did you go to high school like a menstrual mental institution menstrual institution middle school and my middle school was it wasn't great we didn't have like sound great it was not a denied we didn't have like top level students at my middle school right it wasn't denied full do you guys ever have fights at your school no we had one and it was awesome really it was over a girl it was like classic

high school fight fist fight fist fight i mean there were very few oh i saw your buddy which you went to middle school with he ended up going to wayne fleet but ben lewaldy no uh he would that would be crazy he works at the hearts of pine store uh and i've seen him every time i've gone to the hearts of pine so he went to k bliz with any transfer to wayne fleet he went to i don't know what you went to elementary school with cooper something oh cooper sherman yeah i used to sit there and quiz cooper sherman on steve nash facts really when we were he's a he's the homie he is uh he is definitely the homie he he has an encyclopedic knowledge of sports i believe it you guys would get along well he was a man yeah he hooked me up i got a new hearts pine jersey i

got the lighthouse one oh you bastard i want that one long sleeve yeah fuck you want to wear our binders at the same time yeah but i gotta figure out like for some reason it was like a little like a little tight so i got a bigger i got a 2xl mine's a double xl as well because it's it's like the european cut where it's like but my other one it fits i don't know for whatever this one i don't know but now i want to get it i almost want to get like i've never done this but i know you you do a thing where you get regular shirts tailored yeah i'm almost wondering if i should guys get it like tailored take a little off the i think i think that's a great car i mean get it is it baggy yeah it's just too long yeah definitely go get it tailored that's like the whole point i

didn't know that's like the number one thing they do you can do that like a soccer jersey too you do it with like you do it with your underwear if you want to do they'll do whatever you want and you think it fix this while they're yes actually like dude they they they do all sorts of stuff all right she'll do it while you're wearing them too yeah she only she'll nick you They have the machine that, like, I guess women have. Stirrups? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Those are in shreds now. Are they? Is it worse? Yeah, I want to just, like, get, maybe, like, get you a new pair of shorts. I just love this pair so much. It fits like a... Right.

The good news is they make, they make a... Yeah, I know, but I've worn it in, like, it's like... You beat them in, like, an old baseball glove? Yeah, it's, like, totally morphed to my crotch now. You covered them in olive oil and then put them under your mattress for the night? Bingo. That's what you did with your baseball gloves? Baseball gloves, yeah, yeah.

Ran them over with your car? yeah or like instead of putting a ball in it you put your balls in it and then you cover them in olive oil exactly yeah so they're morphed to your balls morphed to your balls right uh can we hear another uh uh so heaven or hell for that one uh purgatory i haven't figured it out yeah all right forgive me father for i have sinned i had a really bizarre dream the other night that my buddies and i were at summer camp with jeffrey epstein it started out as us pulling pranks on him and making him the butt of every joke, but slowly morphed into a beautiful camaraderie.

Next thing I know, my friends and I are getting turnt with J.E. at summer camp, making stories to last a lifetime and cracking jokes like no other along the lines of the hangover type montage. I woke up with a pit in my stomach, having to go into work while coming to terms with the nefarious and dark path

my unconscious self to go down. I'm still a little shaken by the whole thing. Forgive me, Father, for my unconscious alter ego has sinned. This is from Maya. That's a good question. Have you watched Despicable Me so much that you say nefarious? Is it nefarious?

Yeah. Fuck. Wait, let me say it again. But it just occurred to me as you were saying that that's why it's Dr. Nefario. Coming to terms with the- No, no, no. You don't get to do it again. You don't get to do it again.

I have to deal with it when I fuck up. You have to deal with them when you fuck up. Maya, I think that is hell. I think that- Yeah, we got to look into it at least. Can't let it happen again. I think that that is bad. Really, really, really bad.

You should go turn yourself in. I think you should go to the cops and go, hey, guys. So I had kind of a dream last night. MLK would be like, so I had a dream. I was partying with Jeff Steen. I don't know. I feel like I'm ruining our pod right now. You're not at all.

I'm having a blast with you. Hell. Hell. All right. Let's do the Alaska one. two days ago i was out of town in alaska and ended up getting much drunker than i intended i woke up at 5 a.m for my delta flight to seattle still intoxicated inches from death i made it onto the plane sat down in my middle seat and proceeded to vomit into a barf bag before

we even took off i was so out of it i just steeled up the bag and put it on the floor by my feet and passed out until we were landing at which point i go to retrieve the bag and grab the wrong end Oh, God. And throwing all my puke onto the floor. Also, my phone landed face down in it. Oh! There was nothing I could do. I picked up my phone and threw it in my bag and got off the plane without ever acknowledging it.

Luckily, it didn't smell, and I think the guys next to me felt too bad to say anything. Hope you read this. Love you guys. Oh, man. We... Oh, fuck. Why didn't the guys in the window or the aisle be like, Yo, you have to throw that out after you puked.

Heaven, I think? Heaven, yeah. Jesus Christ, that sounds horrible. sorry that happened to you but we got it definitely got to throw them out throw it out after you yeah that's great i can't even imagine what the people around you were i didn't even know there were still barf bags yeah they got them remember when my sister found that turd in the barf bag yeah turn the barf bag uh did you want to teach me something yeah i don't have one but i'll let i'll listen to yours you're gonna like this a lot you're gonna like this a lot there's a heat wave

in france yeah right now or like it either just happened it's about to happen or it's happening right now and uh because of that the grapes in like this certain region are producing a higher they're coming out with a higher sugar content than they normally do so because of this champagne this year they like passed some resolution where the threshold used to be like it can't be higher than 13 or 15 or whatever but because all the grapes have such a higher sugar content they had to be like champagne can have more booze in it because it's going to produce more alcohol when they go through the process so champagne this next year will have more booze in it than it normally does damn that's pretty good because i was thinking about popping some bottles this year

yeah you want to dude you want to pop bottles with me later well i don't want let's not push it how was your night with your wholesome nice sweet neighbors they can't the hot ones they canceled what i know what do you mean dude i assembled like a like an avengers like crew that was gonna i still went out with i still went out but uh with me they canceled now I don't know why I partied with you. Dude, I don't know. Because I called him hot. I don't know.

It might have been because you called him hot. What did they say? She was like, hey, I'm so sorry. Everyone's being lame. We have to reschedule. Damn. They probably partied too hard on 9-11. I guess, dude.

I don't know. I partied really hard. I walked into this house party, and the first guy sitting there, his jaw dropped, and he goes i was gonna wear my i wish this was pants shirt tonight i was like no way and then i partied with him until like two in the morning nice yeah on the 11th uh 12th was it the it was saturday night yeah 12th it was a full moon yeah full moon yeah that's what when i was getting these balloons at the balloon store yesterday the lady was like sorry i'm really backed up right now like i've had to do so many orders and i was like yeah you know there's been a lot of like birthdays recently yeah

you know and she was like yeah someone everyone it seems like everyone's just like born around this holiday or something and i go yeah 9-11 and she goes wait what no not that holiday labor day she probably there are there is a disproportionate christmas sex is it okay mr denellan watch it that's my fucking dad my my dad and all his siblings were born in march and i believe that is fourth of july sex what's what's nine months before march yeah no you're right um no no it's wait you're not right wait yes no i think it's june heat wave june june sex okay um yeah i feel like there were a lot of 9 11 9 12 birthdays like all my instagram stories were i think a lot of people like were gonna be born on 9 11 and then like they like held it the mom like held it in

because it was such a sad my mom fun fact she told the story of my birth when on my birthday this year and uh she walked to the hospital to give birth to me i never tell you that you did tell me that and fucking we lived really close to the hospital where was your dad with her oh nice he was kind of sweet they just were like yeah all right baby's coming yeah they were um how many yards do you think over 100 yeah uh it was like two blocks could you like throw a burger to the hospital almost maybe because you could cut the corner because it was like down and then a corner but yeah so do you think that's why you're so good at running you came out the room you came out the womb i came out the room running i came out the room running man yeah um all right do

Do you want to do curb plots that don't exist? Yeah, I would like that. Can you do the first one though? So can I tee it up? Yes. These are more curb your enthusiasm plots that don't exist. Larry's house is being renovated. So he has to stay in an apartment complex temporarily that has a doorman.

And the doorman like will not remember him no matter how many times he comes and still makes Larry scan in every day. Yep. So he's like, dude, I've been coming here all the time. Like, how do you not recognize me by now? And he's like, all right, I'll work on it. larry goes to the grocery store that the following day and the doorman comes up to him and says hello and he doesn't recognize him because he's not in his uniform and he's not outside the building

and the doorman gets mad at him for not remembering him and makes him start scanning in again that's awesome thank you that's a great one yeah uh larry's making a left turn and one of those automatic food delivery robots is crossing the street but he turns anyway and just swerves around it and then he gets pulled over for endangering the life of a pedestrian and he protests and says a robot shouldn't be treated like a pedestrian later in the episode he orders food delivery and when he goes out to get on the sidewalk it's a robot it's been vandalized and the food has been taken he sees the guy running away with the food and yells you wouldn't do that to a person why would you do it to this thing that's fantastic i like that um larry's upset that a chinese

restaurant keeps giving him two sets of chopsticks assuming that the amount of food he's ordering is not a normal amount for one guy yep uh so he keeps ordering smaller and smaller quantities of food, trying to get them to give him just one pair. He goes in and complains, saying he ordered a normal amount of food, and that they're making him feel like a fat ass. A few weeks later, Larry has

a woman over, and they order in from the Chinese restaurant, and they only give him one set of chopsticks, because they see his name, and he has to eat with a fork while she gets the chopsticks. You cooked today. Really? Yeah. Let's go. Larry makes his world-famous chili, but when he brings it to work, he spills it all over the carpet.

It's a total nightmare, and he tries to clean it up with a clipboard that's fantastic uh okay this one this one i it might work it might won't larry's office sinks use those automatic faucets that don't turn on for long enough for him to get all the soap off his hands yep the company is called smith and larry goes around telling everyone that smith doesn't last long enough unbeknownst to him there is an employee named smith who is dealing with premature ejaculation and thinks larry is telling everyone that he doesn't last long that's awesome okay yeah i think you cooked that's all i have i'm sorry no worries are you doing slang i think this is i think that's gonna get a million views really

really yeah calling your shot i like the kevin chile one like whenever you wait a couple weeks between them i kind of forget that it's an option yeah i was just i had one and then i was like i could not crack it so i feel like i kind of fucked you because the only the only reason i asked is because over the weekend like two had come to mind well yeah it is those are the hardest ones but no but but don't don't apologize ever for that don't ever apologize wait where's the these are even more slang words that don't exist uh a loose tooth it's a guy who it is only a matter of time before something bad is gonna happen with him you're keeping him around but like hey that guy's a loose tooth that's fantastic flat beer something that used to be awesome but now it sucks so if

someone's overusing a joke you're like dude that joke's flat beer yep give it a rest that's great uh a splinter this is a guy who you start the night with him and you never end the night with him he always goes on his own little mission goes rogue i like that uh a match um he's chill but gets heated if you strike him don't punch matt in the face he's a match he'll get pissed yeah yeah sharpie this is a guy who leaves his mark on everyone he meets a bit of a sharpie uh fray when when what am i right i never knew dude i when you're when you're starting to grow apart from someone you can say our relationship is starting to fray a bit i think that's just a word really yeah i think people already use oh fuck i think that's just what that word means yeah

i was thinking like jean like your jeans fray i didn't realize it could be applied to okay take that out though no i think that's funny fuck uh speaking of the fray i walked up to this tailgate at bc and i this has now happened to me two different times in public where i don't i might be like inducing some sort of like paranoia but there's i was at a bar once and that song over my head just came on and it was a touch tunes bar so i'm like someone here's fucking with me who is it looking around no one owned up to it now i'm at a tailgate at the bc game and the song starts playing i'm like i don't even know who's on aux here that's a nightmare because it's it's giving yourself too much credit.

Exactly. I can't be like, alright, it's because of me. It's just obscure enough of a song. That's so funny. Andrew, take my fray out, please. That's actually so funny. I don't want to deal with it. I just thought, I'm such an idiot.

You're not an idiot. You are not an idiot. You're a rusty feather stone. Alright. We love you guys. Have a great rest of your Wednesday. day right andrew yeah have a great weekend we'll see you bright and early on monday motherfuckers peace