Will & Rusty's Playdate - a skunk sprayed us HARD w/ tanner agpoon

Episode Date: April 9, 2025

Artist and creator Tanner Agpoon (aka Tommy Noble aka Falcon) joins the boys for another wonderful Playdate. Tanner shares on growing up in Kansas City, starting to make music at age twelve, and his current battle with the skunks living under his house. The boys also talk about the invisible string theory, Magic Mike, and the man who once lived in Rusty’s vents. Finally, they draft sayings and cocktails that don’t exist.  HELP US WIN A WEBBY! VOTE HERE: https://vote.webbyawards.com/PublicVoting?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaZEV7Z7gvRgV0VWB69RbXh1W2WWDBi1gedrqBwX-e3IWOprRWVk5D_waK0_aem_yAjtqzxYpbUR9Vd9RQxtgQ%23%2F2025%2Fpodcasts%2Findividual-episode%2Fcomedy#/2025/podcasts/individual-episode/comedy FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-pod FOLLOW TANNER: https://www.instagram.com/tommynoble111/ STREAM TANNER’S NEW EP GROWING PAINS: https://open.spotify.com/album/2UM5z7Bid8Brs2p5Uj1FQK?si=ujI1ZV6uTHCTWuES_F5y0g SHOP TANNER’S CLOTHING LINE: https://readabookla.com/ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: ! NEW FLAVOR ! ACCELERATOR COTTON CANDY BY LIVVY DUNNE NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON ($10 OFF UNTIL 4/18) https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/FB06B38E-F0C2-479F-9DA5-FD4A1C852B07?channel=Playdate START YOUR NEW MORNING RITUAL & GET UP TO 43% OFF YOUR @MUDWTR WITH CODE PLAYDATE AT www.mudwtr.com/playdate! #mudwtrpod UPGRADE YOUR WARDROBE AND SAVE ON @TRUECLASSIC AT https://www.trueclassic.com/PLAYDATE #trueclassicpod 00:00 Intro 04:26 Meet Tanner 11:01 Getting into Comedy 22:48 The BEST Way to Watch a TV Series 31:42 Growing Up in Kansas 40:17 Roadmap 41:15 Pitch Submissions 54:53 Pitches 59:03 This Guy Rocks 01:05:06 Teach Me Something 01:08:47 Sayings that Don’t Exist 01:12:08 Cocktails that Don’t Exist 01:17:33 Whose Personality are you Stealing? #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Mobland, new season is now streaming on Paramount+. Play date. I have bad news. So we had our guest Tanner come on. I was very excited about this. We had a great episode. We still have a great episode for you guys today. But somewhere around the two, three minute mark, the video, we don't have the video for it. We have the audio, thank God. Lauren did nothing wrong. There's no reason to be mad at anyone, but Big Tech, Elon, Jeff Bezos, different tech guys, Monk, Bill Genk. And as a way to make it up to you,

once the video cuts out, we are going to put some just soothing nature videos there for you to watch. but again sincerely very very sorry that this happened we are gonna make sure to put fail safes in so that this doesn't happen again um but you live and you learn stuff like this happens first time it's happened uh in 95 episodes so we love you guys and and i am sincerely sorry uh again this was not lauren's fault at all she didn't do anything wrong it actually wasn't so don't come at me or i'm gonna block you so uh wonderful wonderful wonderful episode yes tanner

tanner uh agpun very very funny better known as falcon better known as the owner of rita book uh la very very great guy uh we're excited for you to listen again do not do not comment that it was lauren's fault because it was not lauren's fault at all they're gonna think you're being serious uh i'm being i'm not being serious uh it was not lauren's fault but here is without further ado here is uh our wonderful episode with our good friend tanner play that theme music lauren they're gonna think it's my fault yes they are though you're winking i wasn't winking playdate episode 95 we have a very very very very special guest today yeah our good friend tanner agpun is here tanner what's up guys how's it going uh you may know tanner from his

sketches online uh better known as falcon sometimes musician fantastic t-shirt maker yeah i'm pretty stoked about the t-shirt they look good they look fucking awesome tannerys is the same blank as us which oh it's the la apparel yeah 1801 gd yeah that's the best shit i might wear this on thursday i'm already thinking about i'm going to a concert so i feel like this could be fun it's a great shirt for thursday uh it's not uh john vincent the third shut up you know no is it like folk music i like john vincent yeah no way uh oh so i was telling tanner this before i i wasn't expecting you to come bearing gifts so i already ordered this one oh yeah this is good news for me will and i already have to

coordinate our outfits on a day-to-day basis to make sure we're not wearing the same thing and now another t-shirt in the rotation yeah as long as you don't get into jeans i think we're safe tanner on the way in every every sponsor of the pod tanner coincidentally already has on him i was like do you want an accelerator he's like brought my own i pulled out my lucy's and he was like oh no way do you like the lucy breakers i was like yeah i don't i don't partake but i like good i like the brand yeah it's good yeah good branding yeah yeah they're good they make my friend really happy and that matters to me so you know good man all right first play date episode since we are officially webby nominated yeah webby not this is a webby nominated podcast now

uh so tanner does that how does that feel yeah does that are you nervous now i'm a little nervous yeah yeah can you put in like a clap track yeah yeah it's like lauren put a put a clap track in right now yeah all right now tanner say something funny and lauren put in a laugh track i believe in three things democracy sleep and angels that's good that's well said so what i don't know i'm gonna be honest i don't know anything i've seen a few of your videos over the last few weeks but i don't know anything about you or your life so i want to know about you and your life um i'm half filipino oh yeah uh born and raised in kansas yeah yeah and uh three siblings you live here yeah yeah oh you live in la yeah okay got it yeah because i feel like one of the videos i just

saw it was like in san francisco yes and then he was like he's coming in on tuesday i was like is he driving from san francisco on a tuesday i was worried how to commit what you need yeah i was like i would respect yeah i was worried about the 10 a.m record time because i was like he's gonna have to wake up at like three in the morning yeah okay it was bright and early yeah what brought you gotta tell it uh okay no what brought you out here oh no wait can we cut that i don't want to dox myself i came out here for music actually nice yeah very cool yeah how about you guys uh this i guess willie and i willie and i met uh when we were juniors in college seniors in college and we lived together for a summer out here got hired by this company and then uh after

graduation uh both moved out here started this pod no kidding what college i went to boston college yeah we went to the harvard of boston and then i went to the harvard of the south ever heard of it rollins college yes prestigious so you guys met from different colleges no we okay he told that story in a weird way we got hired by this company yes and then met they forced us together and now they melded us together and made us start a podcast it's like the invisible stream theory yeah eventually exactly this is an industry planted podcast oh my gosh that's sweet yeah it's pretty sick when did you start making videos uh i think like august 2023 and then yeah i was doing music tiktoks before that but then my best friend had been running youtube

youtube accounts and instagrams and just blowing them up and so i was like what the heck and then And she was going to all these cool events. And I was like, I want to try that. And so he just said, post every day. And I just started doing that with skits because that was fun to do. That's awesome. You got a new EP coming out? Or it already came out?

Yes. One came out a couple months ago. And another one's coming out in May. How did you get into music? My best friend that starts the channels, he started freestyling and making music when we were like 12. But he's my best friend since kindergarten, moved out to oklahoma in third grade and then we stayed in touch would visit each other every

summer and spring break and then started making music and when i started visiting him we'd freestyle all day like when we're 16 just got a car and so we just spend like 12 hours a day driving around just freestyling and we got so good like just so good it was crazy and uh so i'd come back home and freestyle parties and then eventually just tried making a song and then that's awesome what kind of music uh hip-hop and alternative gotcha very cool i like that like the freestyles have to happen in like a moving car yeah i mean i would be so much easier if we could just do it at home no but you can see more stuff you get more info yeah changing changing background arby's and wendy's tonic take a red light i remember my friend i have like a million videos

of him freestyling when we were kids and he would he would like call us over to cumbies you remember cumberland farms i know it's like a gas station and i don't know if it's outside of the northeast but he's definitely not based on the based on his face right now i can say without a doubt it is not and uh yeah we would just meet up in the company's parking lot he'd be like you guys got to get over here right now and then he would like give you like a 45 second freestyle and be like all right was that it like oh yeah let's go back to my house that's awesome who is this guy he we grew up in maine together but he uh yeah he's a good kid he's an interest i there were a couple i have this app i talk about it a lot i have this app called swipe wipe where it's like tinder for your

photos and so like every morning it's like these are the these are the videos and photos that you've taken on this day and every once every once in a while i get like a an old freestyle and some of them have not aged very well so i just yeah so i deleted those but they're they're a couple it's just like those swipe swipe delete this and uh yeah i was it i remember feeling like we were older but like looking back at these videos it's like he's like he looks pretty he had like a baby face so it's like a kid yeah with it with a crazy shit and he like uh like far too young to be smoking weed it looks like but i had a i was with my college buddies over the weekend and it came up again like we were talking about like the first time i'd met this crew i got

invited on a ski trip as like friend of a friend yeah and i was like desperately needing friends a lot to prove yeah i was but but i knew the stakes i had just kind of had like a big falling out with my last friend group so i was like i need this to go well you're like come on well and they they were like one of them was like it was the first night that we were there like we got pretty drunk or whatever and at the end of the night it was just me and this other kid freestyling and they were all just sitting on the couch watching us and they were like we gotta get this and by the way you said you're good at freestyling i cannot say the same about myself and they were like he's in he's yeah we need this no way and the rest is history now they're all my

best friends in the world so this group yeah like my not this group but like my college buddies that are all my best friends yeah it was like this was in yeah five years ago or something now but what were you rapping about dude i don't know we're skiing on a mountain very literal freestyler describing the scene a storyteller yeah yeah you know sometimes the most meaningful lyrics are the ones that are you know the most real put a picture of it again but that's most literal will used to roll the worst joints and there's they were awesome they were so bad it's they're almost unrecognizable as as a joint it looks like he's holding like crumpled up paper but like i just picture like that thank you yeah it was it was at the

same time yeah we'd spoken dude we gotta get this guy in our crew he rolls the worst joints and he freestyles it's awesome yeah they were all like he's in he's oh my god killer dude it was epic so what do you been up to lately freaking um i don't even know the days just fly by okay here's a question is that i like i was saying like it's over like the last maybe like month or stuff that i've started to see all your stuff and it's fucking hysterical is that a comp is that like has it blown up like more recently or am i just late yeah relatively yeah gotta last few months or so yeah okay very cool yeah and what's that is that cool yeah i like it people come and say what's up and i'm like oh hi because i always talk to people when i'm out but

now people come up and say hi and stuff so yeah it's good that's very good and do you see it just as like a path to the music promotion or does it feel separate now separate yeah yeah i never thought about doing skits or like comedy of any sort yeah but then it helped me just like be like less serious i was trying to be like frank ocean i make music yeah i'm not like frank ocean yeah started like walking around all mysterious and i just did not it was not me yeah so i started doing the skits that helped me find like a new part of myself yeah open up like a flower yeah on the love that on the san francisco what those that was like my one of my one of your san francisco videos was the this guy rocks video that like we put up a couple episodes ago and

will and i were talking like does it do you do you know what you're gonna say before because sometimes it just it feels like you're like finding it along the way and that's like i'm laying the train tracks as i go there's no path no i have like there's like beat side that i know usually that i want to hit sometimes it's just like i have one line and then i just ask someone to film me and i just go for as long as i can and that one i don't know which video but my mom was helping me with some of those ones like i was like because i'll try to get i was like maybe i could say something political yeah like what do you know how what this means or like what is going on in the world because i'm not very political or another thing so yeah i asked her what did

she have you talk about i was like isn't tech companies a thing in san francisco and like there's like ceos and she's like yeah all right i'll say something about that and then if i say something wrong in the comments people will tell me if i'm wrong yeah learn by going it's all about engagement too yes yes yeah that's why sometimes i say words differently just to drive our engagement i've been watching a lot of temptation island and they are famously like like all of them maybe if you recorded me all the time i would like butcher some words yeah but like they're having these serious conversations with each other about like you know the future of their relationship and he'll one of the guys like used a word that didn't exist and mark wall mark

wallberg host not not mark you got it mark l you do this on purpose mark l wallberg host and he's this very serious guy and he's trying to keep the conversation on track and the guy like used a word that didn't exist and it cuts to mark and he was like oh that's awesome what kind of words like scrump i don't know like like turtle it was it was like i think he like butchered undoubtedly or something like it was like like he like missed like well you just that's what i'm saying he like he like missed like a tea or something did you mess it up too that was like how he said it i think undoubtedly undoubtedly undoubtedly undoubtedly that sounds right yeah yeah i think that's right

they're having conversations about like like how would they have you seen temptation on no basically they like they separate four couples and they flood their house with like sexy singles to like tempt them oh it's in a close quarters yeah that changes the game i think we have talked about this four episodes in a row he's obsessed it's a good show he's explained the premise of it every time though and at least there's a new person this time usually it's just us being like oh god and he they all cheat on their girlfriends under the guise of like we're exploring what it means to be tempted and then they're trying to apologize and like like you know save their relationship but like they can't they can't if i was on that express their feeling if

i was on that show i would not cheat on my girlfriend yes thank you unless it's your potential wife oh true unless okay yeah or if she's really if she's really busted really pretty yeah pretty unless she was really i wouldn't cheat on her unless she was like really pretty yeah then i would then i would think about it do you hear an accelerator you consider it oh peach paradise oh is that your favorite oh peach paradise uh yeah i do like the peach paradise it's it's not too sweet the rocket pop can be sweet sometimes yeah yeah i i sometimes the rocket pop is like if i'm really going for it that day but today's like i got a lot i'm going on vacation tomorrow i'm i'm doing a little peach paradise are you going to paradise tomorrow where

you going going to charleston south carolina tomorrow nice beach town i just realized one of my best friends is also going to charleston tomorrow maybe you'll see her who is it katya one of my best friends from high school katya yeah cool name yeah i'm very excited what is like hitting dude there's a there's a got beast boston college my alma mater uh just posted their like i don't know it's like academic all conference or something and it was a guy on a football team and his name is juan like the first name and the last name is zabal and i was like now that's what you need on a football team is a guy who wants a ball that's incredible wants a ball wants a ball i want the ball give it to me

that's he's not good but like you have to double cover he's a linebacker too which actually makes sense like he probably gets a lot of interceptions yeah he wants the ball do you think you'll ever be on the uh like in your college's like hall of fame yeah that's all that's the only reason i'm doing this i'm gonna win the webby get in the college hall of fame and then call it quits pull up in a helicopter is there reunions for college yeah we just had ours and i didn't i feel like you just had what do you mean like i didn't go you had like a two-year reunion no no it's like it's like alumni weekend oh oh sorry sorry yeah i think there are college reunions but like the alumni weekend like my dad's grade still gets together at our i guess it's probably small enough to that

like yeah yeah it's like like we used to go they were just like cocktails like out on the lawn or whatever and you go you could just go and pretend you were an alumni yeah like i feel like i'm not far enough out of school yeah i think going like a regular kid bc has like a five-year reunion i'm like that doesn't even feel far enough everyone's gonna be like yeah i'm working the job i said i was doing when i left i haven't gone through much it's like it's like exactly yeah like one guy's married maybe you gotta give me enough time to do something of substance like five years yeah my like comedy group is having our it's like 35th Anniversary show in April and so Brett is going as well

Which is like our buddy who's like six years older than me that was in our group, so that'll be kind of fun Maybe what's the comedy group? It's just like my like college tell me it's called. Hello shovelhead. Hello shovelhead. Yeah But they've been around since like the 80s, so it's kind of cool There's like a lot you know you go to these yeah for like a big reunion like this You'll probably meet like a guy who's like a family Yeah, I think the only the only guy guy in the like hall of fame of my school that's not an athlete is mr rogers the guy with the sweaters and the yeah yeah we have a giant statue of him on campus and it's like i don't think it

came out the way they wanted it to all the kids look like it's him sitting on this thing reading and there's all these kids around him and all the kids look like demonic that's terrifying is it in bronze it is it's like eight feet tall and uh it's not it's like a hundred it's right next to a labyrinth do you know what that is oh my god yeah they used to make us walk the like one of those circle ones like a maze like an actual yeah what it's all made of stone but yeah it's actually like hard to get you know where you are but i mean it's a circle you know like where oh it's like the circle one yeah yeah and we were in a class it's like for like reflection are you supposed to like do it yeah they made us all do it but like when you're doing

it with 30 other one of our classes went yeah and you're walking the labyrinth and you're the whole point is you're supposed to like come up it's like a metaphor for life yeah but when there's like a kid like on your ass yeah you're like i gotta keep like golfing you're like i gotta keep keep it moving keep it moving i can feel you letting him play through in the library that's what she said jews like if you you know letting him pray through all right that's funny write that down lord we speaking of speaking of praying through we went to there was like a catholic church called saint margaret mary's like down the street we brought our friend who was not catholic and we

were like you know when when it's time for communion just like put your arms like this so they know yes not to give you the body of christ and he didn't do it he took it but then he had the presence of mind to like not eat it you know so he we're walking we just like go get beers after we're walking and he was holding it and we were like yo what did you bring that out and i'd never encountered this pocketed he just held it he was like holding it and we were we'd never encountered this problem before and so we had like a little powwow and we're like what do we do with it like we can't can't like throw it out yeah yeah so we thought about it for a couple minutes and then someone else just ate it but it was like lord am i crazy or did we talk about this

like three episodes ago oh really yeah those are the best podcasts has become just retelling it's like a little those are the best yeah it's like a palette yeah catholic communion yeah yeah Those are delicious. Do you grow up Catholic? Yes. Same. All of those. What if they like seasoned them?

Like you had like. Yeah, like everything but the, you bring everything but the bagel seasoning for your communion. Philadelphia cream cheese. Yeah. There's a guy, the deacon just has hummus. It's a Zohan. That'd be awesome. We should make another one of those.

That'd be cool. What was it? A revenge of the Zohan? You don't mess with the Zohan. you don't mess with the zohan it was adam sandler played a it's like a hairdresser spy yes he's like um i don't even know what country but like the most badass dude but then wants to be a hairdresser yeah he made adam sandler took some swings for sure yes especially in happy gilmore come on dude i'm on fire alarm you gotta turn my mic off it's gonna break the internet

when i did ever tell you when bruno you know the movie bruno like the sasha baron cohen movie bruno is that his name yeah nice but wait the movie yeah uh-huh the movie the movie but it got stuck in our you know like you know the headrests and cars have like tvs sometimes there was like a dvd player okay it got stuck in there so every time my mom turned on the car bruno would start playing your family car yeah i don't think she knew what it was and then she like i think my dad was driving she like peeked back to see what was playing and it was the scene where his like penis is swinging around she was like oh crap turned it off but it was loose it was like it was like not a good movie to be that's crazy loose like a loose penis like

have you seen bruno no no it was tight yeah it was like he was like helicoptering his yeah it was not wow what's it where can i stream it have you guys seen adolescence yeah the last episode wait i didn't finish you've only seen the last episode yeah because i don't get into shows right now so i was like so you started with the last episode yes to see if it hooked me into making me like i should watch the don't say anything that feels crazy i watched like the first two or three i watched two and a half i fell asleep during the third or four yeah i want to i want to get to the bottom of this what yeah wait you i can tell you the whole last episode you watch don't don't don't that's the one i wait

you're wait but what if you really liked it then you would know i would want to see it again you know what i mean because i need to know i feel like shows have not been clicking me and like connecting me to magnetizing me to want to go through the whole thing that's maybe if i watch the last one i'll be like i have to know how we got to this point but that feels insane that feels great with books do you read the last no no never ever he does do it with songs the last 10 seconds of a song check out the first pretty snappy yeah how the last chorus goes yeah i mean that probably actually kind of yeah would work for a lot of do you do this with a lot of shows oh no i don't think so i feel like this was a

new method a new trying something out yeah and it didn't hook you no it didn't it was really good good acting it's all one take yeah it's all one take each episode is a whole one take yeah i don't understand we were laughing about like can't be right it's insane i don't believe it so like does it take them like years to make this show no it's just like i mean think about it's like a play like they all just have to memorize their lines like is there ever is there ever a time where a guy like fucks up his line and they just keep going there i think there are like things that go like not i've read that like the director is like yeah regrettably it is one take like there are definitely things i wanted to edit but we were laughing about like an extra in like the 40th

minute that keeps yeah yeah would that have to happen no no no they just kind of like fuck do it again this is like a rival tv show sends like an extra to like fuck up every take i think it seems good the acting is really good yeah the little boy the kid is so impressed what i don't want to say yeah don't spoil it wait so did you you purposely sat down and played the last episode or like a friend was watching a friend was watching it so i got in his i went his room we laid in his bed yeah and we watched it was really nice okay that's better to me than firing up the last episode. That would be, yeah, Solo, that's

diabolical. Although one time, when I was in college one time, I went to Scott's house. There you go bragging again. There I go bragging again. The playmates know Scott. You would love him. He's a killer guy. I went over to Scott's house, and

they were watching The Departed, which I had never seen, and there were 15 minutes left in the movie, and so I was like, whatever, I'll just watch i'll just watch the end of this movie i've never seen and i sit down and if i mean i'm assuming everyone's seen the departed like oh you haven't no but i don't mind a spoiler okay it's not really a spoiler it's just like the last 15 minutes of that movie are a list actor enters the scene and then gets killed yeah and like five like five times in a row yeah well not for they're not

entering with the first time but i didn't know that like they're all characters in this movie so i just sit down and i'm like no way he's in oh and i'm like oh my god he's oh fuck oh god like no way he's oh fuck it's just like people like no way then boom dead boom dead and uh yeah still great movie i did then re-watch it it's fantastic you went on went back you should watch it departed it's great is it is it leonardo dicaprio it's like everyone it's like uh leo and matt damon walbert mark walberg alec baldwin oh my god they just started like killing each other in elevators yeah that's like the last 15 minutes it's just like everyone's just dying like a mafia movie what is it uh yeah it's like the like the irish mob in boston kind of thing oh a boston

movie yeah it's very boston yeah i uh i like your i like your outlook on life boston movie that's pretty cool boston's sweet everyone i met from boston it's like new jersey virginia new jersey in boston i'm a big fan of yeah you know the old saying it's like virginia new jersey and boston man come on it's they're all yeah top three the hidden gins arlington boston manchester manchester dude i remembered uh the that your story about the department reminded me of the first time i watched fight club my friend seamus put it on you know you've seen have you seen it yes you've seen it no okay really no but i've googled brad pitt fight club all right elephant in the room i brought some of the new accelerator to colorado and i got a little

bit excited and uh i forgot to put on some sunscreen but that is the price you pay when you're having fun guys new flavor alert national gymnastics champion livy dunn has a new signature flavor cotton candy livy's all-time favorite treat but in her favorite zero sugar energy drink uh i don't know if this matters to you guys but it's also my favorite zero sugar energy drink feels like no one has asked me that in a while the livy dunn signature flavor is a perfect 10 that will have your taste buds doing backflips without the crash i tried this for the first time a couple days ago it is delish i like them all but guys this one is fantastic uh it's got five calories got zero sugar it's got all the good stuff that your favorite accelerator has always had in it

but this time in a new very fun flavor uh lauren what do you love about it i love the can can we talk about the can the can is so cute this is our podcast i mean it's the drink tastes incredible but the colors are just gorgeous and i'm frankly obsessed with it me too oh yeah i was right it has the same amount of caffeine 200 milligrams guys and my favorite thing what'd you say to me no i said 200 to favorite what do you think i said i thought you said i don't know 200 but here's my favorite thing about accelerator i have said this before and i'll say it again i was not a fan of energy drinks because they made me anxious somehow with 200 milligrams of caffeine i do not feel anxious but i just feel pumped all the time lauren has had to put me on some sort of rationing system

because i was getting a little excited and we only have a couple of the cotton candy ones but we're gonna get more and guys if you want to get yourself some accelerator head to amazon now get ten dollars off until april 18th lauren i'll pose a question to you for this what's the worst part about t-shirts and jeans when they're stiff uncomfortable you feel like you're suffocating sure what about you i was gonna say they're either too casual or too formal right they don't move with my body they don't hug my little tuchus and when i get out and i'm at the bar and i'm doing the splits uh i want my jeans to like want to do stuff they want to move i want to move man move with you come on i want to see them move with me the problem with like normal t-shirts and jeans is

like you can either wear them at the bar but like you couldn't wear them to like work or like you Couldn't wear them to hang out, but they're like too, whatever. True classic. Come on. True classic tees and jeans are perfect for the bar. They're perfect for work. They're perfect for hanging. They're perfect for kicking it.

They're just awesome. We got some in the mail the other day. They stretch with me. They rock with me. So flattering. They look so good. All the guys that wear them in the office, they look so good. They look so, all right.

They do. Pump your brakes. lauren gets a little excited when like when her co-workers wear true classic hr had to talk to her about it not to mention the price you got to forget those overpriced designer jeans that like are either way too expensive and then you don't like them or like you buy the cheap ones and you have to like throw them away after a while grab your true classics at target or costco or head to trueclassic.com slash played it to get hooked up today let's get back into the episode okay so have a question your real name is tanner yes but you're you go by tommy tommy what's what's like

why wait why because i needed a name when i started my skit account that wasn't i just wanted a name that was different and there's a video on youtube called drinking out of cups yeah being a bitch yeah yeah that's what he said he's like drinking out of cups being a bitch yes yes that's Mr. Balloon Hands yeah yes and he says who do you think you are

Tommy Noble I forgot I never put two and two together Mr. Walkway yeah it's so good and so I just made Tommy Noble I like it

and I was variations like Tomothy I like it Thomas I guess yeah what's the coolest part about Kansas oh

what was that I was just thinking like where do you even start like seriously yeah there's a hill it's beautiful Where in Kansas is he from? Overland Park.

Where's that? Oh, wait, that's where, like, the – that's, like, by Kansas City. Yeah. Isn't that where the Chiefs are? No, but they're in Missouri. Why have I heard of Overland Park, then? Someone live there? Jason Sudeikis is from there.

Wow. I'd step out for Jason Sudeikis. Maybe – is that, like, where, like, the guys in the Chiefs live or something? No. Yes, Patrick Mahomes lives in – yeah, he built a house in Overland Park, I believe. I think that's what I'm thinking of, then. How do you know that? I don't know.

Brittany. Jackson. Taylor. Taylor. Yes. That's cool. So are you a Chiefs fan? You're all Kansas sports?

Okay. Well, not huge. It got me into football, though. I didn't watch NFL until the Chiefs. I would go to the games, but it was like more of a drinking spectacle. And then when they got good, it was like, oh, I actually want to watch this. We work with one of the guys. um well sort of a roundabout way but travis kelsey is also sponsored by accelerator and

livy dune and livy dune yeah good company yeah it's sort of the big four of their brand image so uh i guess they go for all athletes is like their branding andy reed lives uh next door to my grandparents in dana point and they asked if i wanted to meet him one time and they had like just beat the pats in the afc championship and i was like mad about it and so i said no are you kidding and then i calmed down like a week later i was like oh that would have been cool that would have been awesome i know have you seen the videos of andy reed as a kid being a quarterback he's like six five two hundred pounds like bullying these little kids you've seen him in the punt pass and kick yeah he like can punt a football like a mile just doesn't make sense

Andy Reid can punt a football over that mountain You know Uncle Rico From Napoleon Dynamite Is the guy from White Lotus now Oh what Not yet Have you watched the first two No no

He's only watched the last episode There's only one guy that's in all three seasons Gary That's Uncle Rico He looks so cool Are you caught up yet no i haven't watched the most recent one so don't say anything wait isn't snape in it he died bro snape is the guy that played

oh in napoleon dynamite no no isn't snape in white lotus snape died snape actor he's in love actually which is kind of a trip yeah alan rickman he died like oh yeah oh alan rickman died i thought he meant snape and i was like yeah i know wait who do you think oh the character died i haven't seen deathly hallows you haven't seen isn't that the seventh one does he die yeah and then while he's dying he's like who have a take my tea or something right he like gives him his tear and it's like it's the memory yeah i've been getting into star wars finally uh-huh it's about damn time i know dude it's damn time wait a minute wait a minute i've been on a bit of it she's back with every good thing

lizzo isn't that lizzo that is lizzo i thought i was doing leap but i was thinking of new rules same shit yeah you mean she's back she's doing snl so she must be making a comeback she like went off the grid for a while after she like made her assistant fuck a banana or something oh nice she bullied everyone on her set too yeah gosh it's kind of like it's pretty brutal like here about like there are like dream jobs out there and like we don't get to do them i know i want to fuck a banana lauren's never had us do that work nonetheless yeah getting paid yeah what kind of yeah on the clock i fucked a banana for lizzo online for years and no one's i didn't see i didn't see a nickel apparently they were at some like sex show in amsterdam yeah and they

bring people up i don't know it was up on a stage yeah i think she was like made someone do it you know what i want to do is uh how does the banana the thunder down under oh yeah you want to do it there's this ad every time we go to vegas there's this big ad for it's like um mad men for or no what's it called magic mike magic mike it's like magic mike for australians it's just these like jacked dudes in jeans and cowboy hats and apparently they rough you up on stage are you kidding me awesome like spin you around and like pick you up well they don't pick you up but or i don't they beat you up well i don't know you know no i don't know he's like no i asked they didn't pick me up i just googled that they don't pick you up do they pick up at magic mike i don't

like getting picked up but my girlfriend went on a girl's trip like a couple years ago for someone's birthday and they went to one of those things where i think it might have just been magic mike but one of their rules is you can't you have to be wearing pants like you can't wear a skirt because the way they like spin these girls around on stage is so rough that like your skirt your skirt would like come up oh it's so rough yeah Lauren are you like are you like no Emma Chamblin's not awesome do you love Emma Chamberlain I love her we're on we would we would have we would have been really mean to her cuz we're role model side yeah well i love him too high school cool guy me i can't pick i can't love

we can't pick both we would have been so mean to her because oh my god i would have pantsed her all right let's role play tanner is emma chamberlain lauren you're you tanner you walk in lauren what do you say to emma chamberlain oh i'd play it cool obviously i'd be like hey girl hi hello how how are you doing like what are you doing here i'm just in town for a little coffee pop-up and goodness gracious wow i love this place well i don't even know if i would tell her i'm a big fan i feel like i would just act like i don't know you'd be like are you telling me this no i'm i'm just thinking out loud okay i would um you said your name was lauren yes nice to meet you lauren i love your i would she probably has a cool outfit on dude you're

sorry i'm talking i'm explaining my thought process you already know she already thinks you're a freak she's like yeah i was talking to this girl let's pause let's pause she's getting stage direction what do you think of praised fan lauren emma or lauren it's interesting that you think out loud but i really appreciate that cool thank you yeah well you need a picture no okay but i'll probably take a picture of you when you leave as you're walking out just so i'm not it's not like really creepy but i can like pose i'll be ready for it that might be creepier cool i almost hit her with my car once emma chamberlain yeah i didn't know you didn't i swear to god he loves to lie he makes this you lie he makes it up all the time about celebrities

on purpose he's seen ronnie james andrew 3000 and emma chamberlain i saw all these people so ronnie she was yeah that was the last cool story but emma chamberlain role model were walking down sketchy phil's street my friend sketchy phil in maine and i came up over this hump and they were like in the road and we swerved out of the way and we were like who are those assholes and we turn around it was tucker and then we were like who's the girl with him probably emma chamberlain so probably emma chamberlain why okay so i hit it i hit i almost hit a girl that was with him how close were you to hitting five feet but it was like what year was this then it wasn't her a couple years ago yeah if it was her you would hit her yeah sketchy phil yeah legend oh my god

great guy i saw him yeah he saw him in boston a couple days ago it was actually pittsburgh pittsburgh he's trying pittsburgh mac mack miller yeah they had a big i went on a run like along the like river and they had this big like wall i was running against it was all these like like like iconic like black figures from history and then it was wiz that's kind of funny i guess that makes sense but like it was uh i thought you were gonna say It was all these iconic black figures from history and then Mac Miller. No, I mean, that would have been funny, too.

That would have been all the time. What? That doesn't really fit. It was like this very beautiful, like, murals along the water, and then it just hit Wiz Khalifa. I was like, okay. He finished off. Yeah.

It all went up to this. Is it that time? Roadmap. Roadmap. Tanner, this is where we tell the people at home what they're going to hear on this podcast. Yeah, sort of intro of the podcast. We do about an hour of banter, and then...

we have been recording don't worry I'm like I don't know he's actually terrified did you tell him any of this stuff I know I brought ideas you brought drafts

okay cool cool I didn't for guests that are coming on for the first time that this is the first time we meet I feel bad

sending you all the segments because it feels like a lot of homework so I just sent him the drafts I don't know if they would mind yeah well obviously he's cool now

but what if he wasn't cool yeah he could have been weird I appreciate the less could have been awful alright we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches

followed by our pitches then we're gonna do everyone's favorite segment this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey and then we're gonna do say it with me teach me something and then we're gonna do sayings that don't exist and cocktails that don't exist let's get into it lauren let's hear a beautiful beautiful pitch so the way this works tanner uh you can pick any shark any american idol judge any person from history and we're gonna see if we want to invest in their business idea these are these are from the listeners i'll be randy okay randy jackson the randy jackson oh my randy jackson is michael jackson's brother no he's not google it pull it up there is a michael jackson has a brother named randy are you kidding me but a different guy

oh my gosh the way the world works sometimes it's unbelievable it's unbelievable we are truly We are so blessed. How lucky are we to be living? We live in a time where there are two Randy Jacksons. This is crazy. Each one better than the last. This is everything I hoped for. All right, Korn.

Are you ready? First. Before we started recording, Lauren came in and said, she goes, with no context, goes, my jeans are going to fall off by the end of the day. And then walked out. That happens to a lot of women who hang out with us. Come on.

Yes, sir. they're very baggy baggy baggy minnesota chicago chicago huh baggy all right um kira kira says hey dookie bunkle and schlonka dunka did schlonka dunka i'll be dookie we can be both both the bunkle you can be schlonka you can be dunka oh yeah i like dunka what is the worst part about waking up in the middle of the night oh man tanner you start what's the worst part about waking up in the middle of the night the fear the fear um probably not knowing where i'm at and and it's dark and so it's like when you wake up you expect

it to be light out usually waking up in the later morning and so you're like i don't know what's going on right that kind of flurry of being confused no one no one else is awake you're the only want your lonely damn it again i gotta do this shit all over again today kira says you don't know how what why or who caused your sudden return to consciousness or how to resolve it the slumber solve bed frame the slumber solve bed frame by noctora is powered by real intelligence and analysis and analyzes your body structure and brain activity and contains all the necessary mechanics required to ease you back into the cozy dream space woken by a loud bang the bed assures you it was just the wind and plays smooth yet loud music to cover any further sounds

bladder issues urgently need to be addressed a pipe or dish of some sort connected to your home's plumbing system appears these along with thousand other thousand of other solutions solutions such as a massage feature cooling or heating technology bedtime stories meditation or repositioning and anything else you require right there without all the guesswork what yeah that was like crazy That was just like everything. I was not. That was awesome. Kira, great job.

I'm glad you understood it. I don't, I was, I was. What do you mean you don't understand it? I'm reading that. Well, as I'm reading it, I feel like I'm like zoning out. I actually kind of didn't understand it. All right, so you wake up

in the middle of the night. It will tell you the cause, like what woke you up and then it will resolve it. What if it's existential dread? Xanax? Yeah. It boxes a whole lot in your bed.

It just hot boxes your bed. this is actually i heard a crazy story this this woman was babysitting and the kid called her in to be like hey there's a monster under my bed as kids do and to like you know you check and then you're like there's nothing under there she looked under there and there was a guy under the bed kidding me and so the guy like somehow got out and they didn't catch him for like a day or two but like imagine i think it was one of the ones where she was sleeping over at the house because the parents were gone and it's like yeah how do you go to bed after that there's no way you don't you never sleep again right put your bed on the floor that's crazy yeah yeah that's the only

reason he got in because there was space under the bed he built a hole we thought there was a guy in our vents at multiple houses in florida when i was when i was in college we lived in i lived in three different houses and in every house we were convinced there was a guy in the ducks and the the only time we had like real kind of concrete proof or like something that not concrete but like something that would actually like explain there being something the vents was there was always noise up there and it sounded like someone was like moving around but it's florida it was an old house and maybe there's like a raccoon or something one of the vents was right above harper my buddy harper's uh closet and all of his shoes were soaking wet one morning

and he was like that's odd and so he looks up in the vent and we put like a piece of tape on the thing so like if the guy got out it would like break the classic door dude we came in the next day the tape was broken and his shoes were like wet again yeah what if it was like an animal yeah wait you think a guy was coming down dumping water on his shoes like soaking wet took a shower and he's like hopping back and forth but i remember like do you think it was just like a wet guy that lived there who knows i do i think we thought he maybe he was like he had who knows man we thought maybe he was peeing in the shoes but i remember like yelling up in the vents like we know you're there

to like scare you're just revealing you and all your roommates had schizophrenia but we i called did you know you'd follow me to class i called a kid over one time to go because we had like an attic in the one of the other houses and we were convinced he was up there but i wasn't gonna go look and so i called one of the new guys over to get up on a chair he said there was no one up there he looked you look they said there was no one up there oh my god he's brave brave soul i think i have skunks underneath my house why is that because well recently our dog got hit in the face by a skunk and that like stunk up our whole house or like the dog was walking down the street and like a skunk like flew across

that's such a nice image to picture and like zooting across the like 20 feet that'd be so cool like the whole skunk hit him or like this guy scratched him they have crazy precision i think from like 20 feet he like darted a spray right directly between the dogs i sprayed it yes yes and it's the most rancid smell it's like nothing like nothing compared to it it's like sickly and then the other morning it was like five in the morning i i'd come home and my roommate was on the couch i thought he was having a panic attack i was like okay he's like there's skunks or something and it's like this smell it just makes you like nauseous right away so we're convinced because there's a little there's

an underground part of our house yeah that i think is meant for if there's an earthquake to go under some sort of natural thing got it damn yeah i hope there's not an earthquake me too yeah me too we had a we had a fisher cat under our porch one time you ever seen a fisher cat no vicious animal usually you can tell a mountain lion fish or cat we had a fish they're like these like crazy and like they're they're fucking vicious and one was under our uh yeah they do look like little bears but one was under our porch and my dog came up to our porch and like had a scratch on her face and was like panting so we were like there's something under there uh we called my dad and he had like one 22 bullet left for this like little gun and

he brought he was like i think i have one of my sock drawers so he came home from work we had one bullet and so he was like if i miss it it's gonna come like fucking like a bat out of hell and i was standing on the other side of the lawn because he was like if this thing because he was laying down he was like i'm not gonna have enough time to like get up if i miss this thing and he smoked it and i will put the picture right here i'm holding it it is the ugliest it's like the ugliest thing in the world why'd you why'd you hold it i think he was like we gotta capture dead yeah he was like one up one what other chance you're gonna have to get like this close to a fisher cat fisher cat mike put a picture right here but it sounds do they look cute pull up

their scream lauren their scream sounds like a baby crying it's terrifying your dad is a freaking sniper he's tall too he's handsome he's got everything everyone here is really tall as well thank you that's terrifying yeah i don't like that at all my grandma uh one time called my grandfather at work and said that there was a panther in our backyard and we lived in maine and if you know anything about maine uh not native panthers are not native to maine as far as as far as i know and uh she called him he was like that's wrong it's like a dog or something and then like google it maybe long they like found a panther in maine and they were like oh maybe that was like she was like proven right like 30 years later are you serious there was like a panther

yeah there have been numerous reports and discussion about panther sightings in maine a black panther yeah which i guess is just a jaguar with like a skin deficiency dude that would be probably the thing i'm most afraid of a jaguar in the jungle kingdom wow that what thing you're least afraid of in the jungle kingdom a giraffe yeah they seem so friendly yeah they can fuck you up though not really they stomp they wouldn't fuck with me don't they hit with their necks they like swing them around they'll like beat lions like a tether ball yeah i want to latch on like david dobrik's friend and just yeah i remember he's like fucking jeff whittick swirled him around and hit him with the he almost

killed his friend yeah what oh you know never he uh swung him around from an excavator and then the guy fell off and hit the excavator and almost died oh my gosh he's like still getting like surgeries holy crap i want to do that with a giraffe i would never do that uh yeah i would never do that to you either all right should we do our pitches i have another oh sorry all right that was all we got that far off from one pitch yeah we're guys i have another one we like to chat and banter um yeah well something i'll say about that other pitch i need that for right now my neighbors my upstairs neighbors woke me and my roommate up last night probably around 1 a.m i wake up to hearing dog toys being thrown across the floor they're like stomping all around

i'm like i don't know what to do about that situation like it is it's just so disrespectful oh i'm getting really into leaving notes for my neighbors i had to do it again this person parks she doesn't pull into her spot so she's parked diagonal in the spot that you need to get out of and so it's either like scrape your car on the wall or scrape her car and uh we left a note i left a long note we'll put a picture of it right here and it was basically like you have to realize how insane this is like please stop doing this and they were better about it and then when her husband goes at it i'm pretty sure he's the one that is like you have to pull into your spot and then when he goes out of town she just parks diagonally in the middle of the thing i hate her

i hate her so much all right okay uh next pitch is from aaron erdstein he says what is up sponge by patrick and squidward squidward sped wide spetic spetic have you ever been running late to something maybe you slept through your alarm for work maybe you completely forgot you made plans and received the dreaded hey where are you text no well is this is uber crashed for you yes i got this idea from the pod last week we had an idea for it was called uber crash where it's way cheaper but the car like crashes all the way like down to you so this is an in addition to the uber app where you can order an uber at an extra premium premium which will crash at some point in the ride and gives you the perfect excuse not to go to work or any plans you don't feel

like attending don't ask who covers the damage damage expenses i am high level much love from sydney from sydney nice good i might down under oh so this picture this whole thing on the left side of the road uh an important detail another toilet swirl the other way yeah are you serious gravity you're on the other side anywhere like on the other side of the equator it spins the other way yeah doesn't make any sense is this a real thing swear to god because of physics or because of the it's just like the earth because it's all like spiraling towards like the center it moved the toilet will move with the earth look up why it does that one but it's like it's yeah it's like a hemisphere thing i don't know what to google toilet just

swirl to the clockwise the opposite direction or no opposite of clockwise counter okay so oh i don't like glasses no it's a myth that toilets in australia flush in the opposite direction compared to the northern hemisphere that's just ai wait that's ai yeah i wouldn't trust that because i fuck i wish i disagreed with him so that i could be right here but i heard it yeah i also heard that my brother said that wait my brother told me that once yeah all right you live and you learn you have to go to australia and find out yeah we got it yeah i gotta get my eyes on this believe it when i see it all right guys what is the worst part about writing a card a greeting card a thank you card a valentine's day card anything you can

imagine what's the worst part about it it's personalized to someone maliant the joke lauren um if it's forced like you don't really want to write it tanner was the closest it's like the joke has to be personal to them and like referencing like an inside joke or it's hard to like remember even if you really care about someone it's hard to remember like things bullet points you want to hit introducing i kind of mailed the name in but the perfect card gives you prompts asks you a bunch of questions about your relationship with this person and then it's like these are things you should touch on in your card so if it's a valentine's day card or something uh it'll be like what are your what are some favorite memories

you've had with them what are like some inside jokes whatever and then it's like hit these bullet points you'll have the perfect card it's a way of you know removing the personal element from writing a card right i like that i don't want to think about you um i don't i don't honestly like i want to spend i want to spend the least amount of time thinking about you as possible and just get this card it's like a way to automate one of the last ways we are really still connected come oh yeah buzzy sold hallmark all right pitch me willy uh oh the semi-wet paper towel yes finally i've been saying they've been oh like because usually like when i get when i have something that needs like a i need to wet it then i also got to get a dry one to like dry

then after or dry my hands after like whatever it is so i want or like yesterday last night i was eating tacos and i got some like stuff on my hands that needed like a little wet but then you don't want your hands to just be wet you need wet and dry uh-huh so it's a paper towel that's half wet half dry so you use the wet half and then the dry oh that's fantastic i was thinking i thought you were just pitching the damp no no no so it's it's wetting it and then drying it as you go yeah it's like a uh conveyor belt thank you finally finally someone can bail me out here when i have when a thought is clearly going nowhere. It's like a conveyor belt, yeah.

That's awesome. I love it. Thank you, guys. All right, guys. This episode is brought to you by Mudwater. Mudwater is natural mushroom-based energy. We got cacao. We got lion's mane.

We got cordyceps. We got chaga. We got reishi. We got cinnamon. We got turmeric. We got some Himalayan salt for you. Here's what I like to do. Lauren, ask me what I like to do.

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I get it. I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how

I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC gem all right should we do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey all right lauren pause this immediately and i mean immediately this is a this is a news reporter oh is this a guy who cusses like he on spongebob all right i know oh yeah this guy cusses like he on spongebob like he on spongebob all right so i'm so excited this is yeah this is a news reporter uh covering a story in the hood

uh and shots start flying and let's just hear let's let's just hear how he reacts to this your name for me uh my name is yolanda y-o-l-a-n-d-a Mother of Christmas Eve. What the fuck? Damn it. I don't want to die. Just stay down and get down. Mother of Christmas Eve.

Stay down and get down. Oh my God. It's not. They're coming back. Okay. You're okay, Jay. Thank you, Lord, for the blood of Jesus that covered us. Thank you, Father, for the blood of Jesus.

Good Lord, Christmas Eve. It's going to be all right. Wait, pause it, Lord. Pause it, pause it. it is funny because this has happened a couple times where like an unfortunate part about some of these places is like they're just used to it happened so much that like they know how to handle it yeah i'm like i would react the same way yeah but like it's crazy she's so calm and he's having a meltdown he's like what never good lord can we listen to it one more time yeah that artist

name is yolanda y-o-l-a-n-d-a i'm picturing him standing a bit ill but i think he probably gets that dude mother of christmas that's like that was that was at the top of his like how did that come out it's incredible i said man mother of christmas eve that is in my arsenal dude if you were about to die the last thing what were his last words the last thing you get out is mother of christmas eve lord brown this is browning orthodontics this is liked by me already look oh yeah i think he probably got his like braces off no that guy rocks he's got it got he's got something to him they have a whole cheerleading thing for this like brutal though is i like like that right

there yeah when he steps off he gets oh yeah he did a toe tap yeah he did yeah that's nice that was special wow i uh i remember being stoked to get my braces off but like if they made me do that on the way out for their i would be like put them back on i don't want to do that my brother had braces for like a long time and i think he got them a little late too so he had braces when he turned 18 oh and he drove to the orthodontist without my parents consent consent and said i'm 18 now like on his 18th birthday he's like take these off of me right now they're like you're not done with your treat like you need six more months he was like i don't give a fuck the orthodontist like please i really think he was like i'm not asking take them off me right now they they had

dude because he he was 18 now and he's badass yeah i know he was in college though i mean he was going to college like he was like did you get braces willie yeah i had them when i for like a year when i was like a freshman in high school twice yeah you know they like take a mold of your teeth with that they put that like i love that stuff did they let you pick the flavor bubble gum every time mine did not know the mold thing yeah i didn't get a flavor no it'd be like mint or bubble we did uh dr shems if you're out there if you're if you're in the greater cumberland county area and you're looking to get braces dr shems it was awesome you'd go in they let you you could make your retainer anything you wanted like baseball i think my sister got like a mexico flag

or was that your sister someone's sister like that you could pick whatever they wanted they they had their retainer was a mexican flag that's so sad yeah the actual thing or the case The like thing that goes on the palate No actually my sister's was Venezuelan I think They were like what color do you want And I had like green and blue it was sick But she had any flavor I did pina colada One time and I remember being like this is bad

Cause like I had blue and orange Braces like you know the little bands you can pick I only made the color mistake once I did it cause of the Mets Oh Juan Soto That's our shrine right behind you Who is that

i think i started doing clear because you're white i just got the color was the best i was at a spring training game and the guy next to me was selling photos for charity so he got of the game that you're at he was a photography he's so quick he's like a 90 year old man he's like i've been a photographer for the mets for 50 years i refuse i refuse to believe he's donating it to charity wait no it was it was like a it was like for these like wait what why i don't know i would pocket it that's all we were in like the we're in like a front section at a baseball game like it'd be a weird place to be like scamming people but you don't know no one's questioning 90 year old man with a packet that explained like what the charity did like it was like an envelope you

put into that was like marked for the charity it's like i'm trying to be a little questionable too now what it's like when you're at cvs and like do you want to round up for the boys and girls club and i'm like i don't believe you i don't believe you that's going i believe i believe I believe it's going to the charity, but I think they're doing it for tax write-offs. I think they're pocketing all of it. All right, should we do Teach Me Something.

This is where we teach each other something. So you're welcome to partake if you have a fun fact or something. Okay, cool. Okay, this is an April Fool's prank that Willie's Mets polled back in the day. Guilty. I think it's one of the greatest

April Fool's pranks of all time. On this day in 1985, an article was published in Sports Illustrated telling of a new Mets pitcher, Sid Finch. He wore a hiking boot on one foot and no shoe on the other, and he threw 168-mile-an-hour fastball. The article featured pictures with the Mets catcher, Ron Reynolds, tending to his bruised hand after a bullpen session with Finch. According to the article, he was discovered by the manager of the Mets AAA farm team, the Tidewater Tides. finch demonstrated his unique pitching ability by exploding a soda bottle and knocking a tin can off a fence post and they keep picturing him with this like bugle like i guess that was a big thing uh he had strict conditions for participating in the mets training camp privacy during office

off hours no involvement in team drills private pitching sessions and no press or photographs uh this is his locker he'd like his he'd like bring his bugle everywhere and it was so it was so it was so convincing that people believed that there was actually a guy out there that was throwing 168 miles an hour that's the best thing they revealed it was an april fool's prank and now we got one canning that is such a cool character yeah that's a book with him in it i would like to hang out with that guy yeah uh my fun fact is about pittsburgh nice when i learned this when i was i was in pittsburgh my brother texted me he said hey did you know this about pittsburgh but the whole thing about pittsburgh is they're calling three rivers they got the

ohio river the allegheny river and the monogahela monogahela yeah nice monogahela monogahela you're getting hung up yeah monogahela monongahela monongahela that's pretty close yeah anyway fun fact the fun fact about them is that they're all like derived from like indigenous words and they all mean like some version of river oh so it's like even oh it's like ohio means river and what it means great river in i i look up ohio look up ohio meaning ohio means great river in iroquois so the ohio river is the great river river and then like monongahela is like the river river and then allegheny is like the the long wet stream river or something like they're all like very different versions that

just mean river river yeah i like that yeah all right lauren didn't even know that she went to ohio college a college in ohio dayton oh shout out dayton yeah all right should we do did you Where do you go to school? I went to Johnson County Community College. Oh, no, where's that in kids? Yeah Oh, that's very cool. I knew a guy that rapped in Dayton, Ohio It's a little bit of a wrestling yeah, I'm more Another guy used to rap in Cleveland Shaker Heights, that's his name. I was like wearing Cleveland We got the good brother Shaker Heights he comes out with maracas it was kid cuddy i got 99 problems uh tenor you are the guest

so you get to pick would you like to start with sayings that don't exist or cocktails that don't exist sayings that don't exist these are these are more sayings that don't exist all right what do you got tuning your guitar after you've started the song you got to prepare before you do something once you're doing it it's no time for like more preparation or sorry it's no time for more adjustments you're already in it make do with what you got uh-huh uh-huh waiting for the cook to cut your chicken uh this is someone who can't take agency and just make an executive decision themselves and they're always just waiting for someone else to make the call i love that that's really good these are okay now that's a georgia

skyline and it's about something that's pretty oh well done love that uh can't get a point if you don't get it over the net you can do it's a little tennis saying yeah you can do everything else right but if you lose sight of like the most important part that might seem obvious you're not going to succeed yeah just get over the net yeah uh you don't need to stare at the sun to know it's moving all right there are some things that are better off just take them for what they are you don't need to dive into it just accept reality that's fantastic well done this is so good if it ain't another arrow in the post yes i don't know what that means i'm not 100 sure maybe like you need another air in the post like another wound like another yeah like another maybe

it's like another like um scar for your story yeah yeah love it another error on the post yeah yeah i like that uh lighting a candle in the rain set yourself up for success uh actually what would that mean i just liked the image of it it would not work it's really pretty yeah uh maybe finding hope where there is none yeah despite all odds you can still burn yeah you gotta you gotta put yourself in the best position to do something uh before you do it yeah well that's like the sad version of it is like that it's not working but if you were able to light it in the rain yeah like uh that was not my holy shit i liked it uh takes one hand to lock a door and a lot more to break it down that's fucking come on will you it's uh it's easy to shut someone or something out of

your life and it's a lot harder on the flip side to get your work your way back in yes try to maintain good relationships and not alienate people because it's a lot hard to mend once you've gone awry yes that was fantastic i just learned it's like neurological pathways and creating good habits yeah bingo yeah hell yeah one door that's so good okay there goes luther i don't know honestly again i'm just like maybe like this there's like there was a guy from back in the day named luther yeah and he would always just sprint or like he was just uh he was a wild ride kid yeah and so it has to do with people that when they're uh when they just get loose like when they get drunk they always just kind of wander there goes luther yeah i like that a lot

there goes luther oh yeah um all right cocktails don't exist that was really good you guys are good at that we've honed our craft many you know yeah we've done way too many of these we're latching onto it it's yeah it's kind of sad at this point these are cocktails that don't exist all right uh i've got the chartini uh it's charred wood in a glass uh and then you pour gin in it and it tastes like old wood that's probably so good it actually sounds kind of delicious right isn't that like some nutritional benefit from eating like burnt wood i think so like when you like a like they do like matches yeah they do like charcoal like drinks and stuff well i think they just smoke the glass no eating burnt wood why we eat burnt wood not the norm ltd

you're thinking if they smoke the glass no i'm not i'm sorry what is there's like a charcoal lemonade that we used to get this one place oh it's like good charcoal toothpaste yes yes yeah it smells so good like uh on mezcal or whatever the tequila is there's like a black drink full of charcoal where yeah keep going keep going keep going keep going right there the orange looks gas oh that looks good i've actually had a drink like that before that color oh nice black yeah i don't really remember what it was but it was like tahini yeah yeah loved yeah nice i think my one of my favorite things in the world is like getting the fruit from the from the fruit guys outside with the tahini and the lime oh really yes i never do it but oh i go by i'm obsessed

i'm obsessed mango tahini lime all right tanner pitch us a cocktail what do you got all right i'm gonna start off okay this one's called the morning afternoon and it's just baileys and orange juice i like that i like that she sounds good probably right uh the hops scotch half half beer half scotch nice nice half and half it's crazy that's horrible and two i don't know work on the ratio but it's beer and scotch uh the gin halpert this one uh this is this will get you so drunk you want to leave pam for karen the pantsuit yeah come on the that's so good okay this one's the top side and it's lemon juice tequila and a drop of lsd i like that a lot a little trip yeah it sounds fun oh you guys had a dark and chunky

ramen spoiled milk oh it is so it is good like a hot summer afternoon dark and chunky you can chew on it it's so yummy it's a meal also congeals it's delicious congeals i've got the tequila nightmare it's tequila and gravy and it's disgusting oh i guess i can't say anything because i just pitched the dark and chunky but that oh my gosh this one's the sober duck and it's preferred or um you should do a two percent but your choice of milk with oreos lining the rim like orange peels oh that actually sounds really nice sounds awesome yeah i like that um lauren would probably could use a few of those yeah oreos yeah yeah um the pot the pot no no no there exists that already is a thing uh the patron saint okay and a little

play on patron saint oh i get it it is patron uh grenadine represents the blood of christ uh and then a dash of holy water i like that a lot holy crap no pun intended yeah hey 200 iq all right was that it yeah nice nice all right uh oh we gotta do we gotta do our last our last segment rusty's rusty's song of the day i'm creating a playlist now did you start it i started it uh and today's song let's see uh today's song is going to be she's electric by oasis i have a lot of fun word play in there that i like uh and a lot of rhyming which i'm a big fan of and uh i hope when you listen to it you think of me tanner and will uh i will add it to what do you listen to these days a lot of smino recently waxahachie you know waxahachie tiger's blood is one of maybe

the best albums ever yes seriously i can't stop listening yes yeah so good that saint cloud was my first and now tiger's blood i'm like this is the best and then that got me into mj yes and i've been super into him same i feel yeah i feel left out is it good it's usually wax it has it's pretty shitty it's kind of mad that whole yeah crowbar has been on repeat lately yes and burns out at midnight lone star lake yeah yeah but i also like the song tigers but you know we're talking about the second chorus yes when it comes in with mj literally because of background yeah it's so good i'll send you it's awesome i'm so excited i'm ready for she's electric by the way i've never heard of that it's fantastic i've never heard of that either it's so good they've got a

lot of a lot of a lot of people think it's just wonderwall yeah they got all there's like three songs i think but not yeah i mean they got all sorts of good you should watch supersonic it's a documentary on oasis and it is fantastic i'd actually like that they're uh they're really you have such a great outlook on life I would really like that it would be nice to know more about them huge alright Lauren whose personality are you stealing this week

oh I don't want to start Tanner every episode we pick someone that we want to start being a little bit more like I want to be more like I haven't thought about it yet

did you guys try for a 95 year old oh yeah we also try and guess someone who either wears 95 or is 95 because it's the 95th upset uh-huh it's getting very difficult show me zach martin number yeah do you like the amount of segments that we have it's so fun this is great it's just so fun um sometimes we just give up but steven hawking i think he's dead what oh okay that's way off show me hello de nada hello de h-l-o-t-i i think h-l-o-t-i or maybe it is h-a all right oh he wore 92 94 and 96 uh kilmer val kilmer yeah isn't that a guy yeah that's a guy man yeah right there actually val kilmer that's why i must have been 65 i don't know who that is

actually fully uh i give up but i am jermaine johnson what jermaine 95 years old i spelled that whatever and you can go to any what how did you age wait is it age i wasn't close he wears number 11 just don't even just don't even look lord 11 yeah that was a dumb that was a dumb guess he's like an edge guy i should try to think of interior defensive lineman be born if you're 95 years old to 1920 1919 yeah 1919 betty white wait no 1919 you'd be 105 oh yeah oh yeah yeah she died what yeah she died like four years ago oh my word oh wait i kind of remember people talking about that because i thought it was betty crocker i remember that yeah she didn't die don't tell me she died no please no i can't take that betty crocker is that a real

person i think she cooks yeah i think she's a chef this is like angela kind of situation yeah yeah she's a cook i said she cooks and you go no i don't think she's a fictional character oh what yeah she's not real no betty crocker is not a fictional character that's not what it says read it no betty crocker is oh you win this round danellen who betty something barker betty barker give it a shot betty barker betty barker is that real no who's the guy from uh happy gilmore it's like something bob bark bob barker oh yeah might be 99 95 99 oh my god this is how we're finding out everyone is dead oh yeah that's good i don't see that old i could see it he died wow that was close how many people are dying 95 is old all right i'm gonna steal

hugh hefner's personality oh nice i'm gonna wear more robes around the house that's trying to get back into robes yeah like the brickshaw ferguson the brickshaw the brickshaw ferguson oh okay i'm done with the brickshaw ferguson the brick the brickshaw ferguson 60 yeah we're not even close um oh yeah there's gonna be a football player wait before we wrap though i don't know if you talked about your merch and like what you're oh yeah oh yeah fantastic read a book oh Chris Jones yes

Chris Jones yes thank you nice it's cause I started thinking about the Chiefs cause of you let's go

that's satisfying I was gonna have like a freaking loose inhale meltdown every day when I can't think yeah check out Tanner's

readabook.la yes I'll put the I'll put the link in the description oh it's called readabook readabook.la

fantastic do you read a lot of books yes well kinda yeah do you have good reads no where you rate books kind of like

like a letterbox yeah okay yeah I know not yet Tanner do you want to plug anything

yeah there's new Happy Gilmore 2 coming out soon Mac DeMarco dropped like a long album recently a couple years ago

maybe yeah I liked that oh One Wayne G is that what it's called it's like 199 songs yes

yes I hope he does a longer one honestly that was pretty light yeah it's one of those ones you just burn through and then you're like all right what's next last thing the odyssey movie that's gonna be by um christopher nolan would be really cool i think we should all be prepared for that fantastic thanks for uh coming on thank you thank you guys guys have a great rest of your wednesday have a great rest of your week and then we will see you bright and early after the weekend on monday morning we love you so much lauren play

that theme music Thank you for watching.