Will & Rusty's Playdate - alex cooper is my cousin

Starting point is 00:00:00 we going play date play date episode 122 wait let me get one lauren sounds like she's got oh you got tate mccray just turned 22 bang tate mccray episode tate mccray episode who's yours i don't No, I hadn't thought of one yet. I don't know. 22 is like a running back or something? I don't even really know. I feel like that's like a soccer guy. I was going to say.

Starting point is 00:00:39 Like a defender's number. Oh, sorry. Someone on like England. Some cool guy on England. Whatever. You already got. Tate McCramp said just Google number 22 athlete. On England soccer.

Starting point is 00:00:50 I just want to know on England soccer that's what we were thinking of at the 2022 World Cup that makes sense that I would kind of know that because I watch every single game when else would we be watching

Starting point is 00:01:06 the England national when else would we be watching the national team I don't know there actually is the World Club going on right now it's the FIFA Club World Cup so now do you feel like an asshole no Lauren just Googled number 28.

Starting point is 00:01:21 No, I didn't mean to. Oh, Kaitlyn Clark. I didn't think about that. Kaitlyn Clark would have been a good one. Derrick Henry. Does she wear 22 in the NBA or the WNBA? Probably not. No.

Starting point is 00:01:30 What team is she on, Indiana? I think she does. Oh. Wow. So it's the Kaitlyn Clark-Tate McRae crossover episode. That is big. Now that sounds like a good time. All right, drop your bombshell, Willie.

Starting point is 00:01:41 All right. Yesterday, Willie came up and he was like, I have the best thing to tell you, but I have to wait until tomorrow. Actually, Lauren might like this more than you. oh okay also before did you know they're making it yerba madre now i'm not kidding they changed the name of yerba mate like we're probably in the last batch of those so if you want to preserve them i was watching the gold cup final us lost a time out what wait you're lying about that google permanently

Starting point is 00:02:09 oh yerba madre is the new name for guayaki yerba mate not obviously yerba mate is like a thing they're not changing the name of like because mate is a drink but they're changing the name of that brand to yerba mate or yerba mate i should save this it's like gonna be a relic the new they've been fucking blown it they're the new when they switch to those new cans they look like an energy drink now yeah i i yeah i have a lot i have a lot of complaints well they're not also got rid of the flavors i liked what did they get rid of well they used to originally they had like the the ones that were like the lower sugar ones skinny can no they were the same cans but they were lower sugar and then they made them all look the same and then some flavors randomly have less

Starting point is 00:02:57 sugar i just can't drink like a full one of those if it's like the full sugar amount no now i have to like look at the 150 calories nutrition facts yeah so some are like tropical uprising and peach revival are the two like low but like they don't they used to like say like brand them differently now they you have to look at the back yeah it's ass okay anyway here's the deal okay i'm very nervous so you know how everyone has always said i'm so good at podcasting i must have it in my dna right people come on that tell me you're related to ben shapiro can i guess yeah i think you're my dad struck gold in the family uh Some old people in my family are on some email thread about our genealogy, and something

Starting point is 00:03:48 came to light recently. Give me three hints. Biggest podcaster in the world. You're related to Joe Rogan? Except for him. Okay, you are related to Alex Cooper? Alex Cooper is my third cousin blood relative. Shut up.

Starting point is 00:04:06 Alex Cooper. Is that what that paper is? mapped it out because my dad my dad was forming me all these emails from like these old ass people basically we've known this i guess in theory but none of the people doing the genealogy knew who alex cooper was and then she has this documentary out that i guess some like old aunt of mine found saw an article in the boston globe about this alex like her allegations against the bu soccer coach or whatever and realized like oh that's brian cooper's daughter and they pieced all together alex cooper is related to me are we the same great great grandfather the guy who built

Starting point is 00:04:44 my parents home in maine is also her great great grandfather like i share the best way to explain it is you guys share a great great grandfather yeah so like the the house that my parents live in i've always said it was like built by my great great grandfather in the 1800s that's also hers like we are just as related to the guy who built that house as one another that is fast that's why i mapped it out here okay so we've got bart this is the first guy bart scannell he was came over during the potato famine when he was two he came over on a boat from ireland when he was two years old and survived the whole journey started a family in lowell massachusetts he had uh a bunch of kids one of whom was bart too for uh lack of better terminology and one of whom was pappy

Starting point is 00:05:25 their brothers yeah their brothers okay pappy gave birth to nanny okay which is my grandmother nanny gave birth you know your great-grandfather uh no but my dad calls him peppy okay because it was my dad's grandpa yeah so peppy gave birth to nanny who gave birth to my dad who gave birth to me bart gave birth to bart who gave birth to bart who gave birth to laurie who is alex cooper's mom whoa yeah anyway that's uh how i'm blood related to alex cooper i like that it gets a little complicated around bart three this is where this is where i lose most people wait so your dad is the one who like really brought this to light no it was how so what triggered you being her dad alex cooper's dad somehow someone was digging in alex cooper's dad was i believe named brian

Starting point is 00:06:16 cooper okay and he was a google alex cooper parents yeah yeah brian large so brian cooper was a tv producer for the philadelphia flyers there it says right there my uncle sam my dad's brother was a sports writer for he covered the flyers for like decades so it came to light because someone was like oh sam did you know brian cooper like he was a tv producer for the flyers he's actually your second cousin also his daughter was in this documentary and i guess i think my dad flag because i think my dad knew who i don't know your dad's a big that's so my dad loves color daddy yeah he's in daddy gang wait i love that but yeah that's so cool so i can kind of see the resemblance so somewhere down the line you guys share a gene i mean it would have all blood like

Starting point is 00:07:07 there's it's not marriage yeah that would have been extremely useful for podcasting at the time but there just wasn't an application i think it's called talking a lot and i think everyone on this thing has it from from all the people i've met on this everyone on this has it but isn't that fun like we might there might be a skill that's possible yeah we are good at that isn't it isn't like conducive to the time period that we're living in but our grandkids will be able to use it for a job that doesn't exist they're all like generational zorpers um pretty fun huh that is pretty fun i love that i was that's awesome i was shocked when my dad texted me that was that this morning or it was yesterday and i he the like go home putting this together almost broke my brain

Starting point is 00:07:58 because he forwarded me like if i showed you what he sent me it was like all these like emails from cousins i'd never heard of and they're like they're like because then bart jr the the big breakthrough is figuring out bart jr was the third bart i was like i could not fucking figure out they're all fucking named bart i like the picture like scott walks into your room it's like dimly lit and there's like a cork board with all these like strings connecting you and i was gonna say though also bart yeah my name might get that it's a good name bartholomew yeah i heard there why aren't there uh i don't know i think it's interesting but sure it's like a cool family name yeah yeah i just heard a good nickname for it was like wire

Starting point is 00:08:46 so i remember one of the comments was we call my brother christopher stop like they do that's like the unutilized part of christopher is the stop in the middle oh but that was in reference to someone else was like why don't we call this name another nickname and if We need to do that for a draft one day. Oh, nicknames. Nicknames for your name. Yeah, like that. Or no, a guy already does that.

Starting point is 00:09:15 Fuck! A guy already does that. Do you want to hear what I did last night? Hit me. People are going to come after me in the comments and say that I obviously didn't come up with this. But I had never had the balls to do it. I'd seen people do it, and I did it for the first time last night. I'll explain.

Starting point is 00:09:33 Joe Poe? Jack, I'll pass out. Is that a Luke? That's a Luke Knoll thing? Is it? yeah yeah he's like he's like joe poe jack off pass out uh so my roommate uh his car was parked behind mine and so he was going on a date and so i had to go move my car and i had this something in my brain was like go outside don't like don't just pull back in and go upstairs so i was like

Starting point is 00:09:58 you know i'll go i'll go get some food i pulled out was gonna drive to whole foods and something in my brain said don't go there keep going so i just started driving okay i also have a new car so that might be like why i just wanted to drive around i was like okay where am i going and then i was like you know what i'm gonna go have dinner by myself i went to r&d kitchen cool in santa monica sat at the bar had a beer had a slice of meatloaf no they're they're sorry they're like they're like famous for their meat I love meat I'm not judging like a great vibe and then that was the funniest possible thing I don't know had a slice of meatloaf had another beer played chess on my phone wow left I love that I think I'm gonna do it every Tuesday now I essentially took

Starting point is 00:10:47 myself on a date that's so cute I love that fantastic the bartender was very nice her name was uh Lizzie and she gave me the it was the best meatloaf I've ever had in my entire life a little vitamin me yes have you seen that guy that's like all you need is vitamin me i don't go yeah i don't know the words but that's awesome it was really lovely so fun and uh and i was telling ty how awesome it was and he was like oh i should have come met you i was like you're missing the point yeah i was like no it was awesome because i was a lot r and d what are they like trying shit out it's like a hillstone restaurant go to the meal the Meatloaf is fucking gas.

Starting point is 00:11:28 Yeah. Oh. It's like mushroom meatloaf. Okay. I don't like mushrooms. I don't either. I don't either. You're like tripping balls, Frawley.

Starting point is 00:11:36 I don't. Frawley. Sorry. I don't like mushrooms either, really. But I was already like getting so out of my comfort zone by being alone at a restaurant that I was like, why not take this to Mach 10 and get a food I normally wouldn't get either. This one looks interesting. dude i got so there was it was meatloaf mashed potatoes and broccoli oh yeah and then i had two

Starting point is 00:12:02 lagunitas it was gorgeous it was it was awesome the dodgers were playing good who were they playing the brewers what's that the enemy of my enemy is my friend i'm wearing my brewery shirt today oh is that why are you purposely wearing that uh well i purposely don't usually wear it because I don't like the Brewers, but I was like, oh, this week I can wear it because the Dodgers are playing them. How are the Guardians doing? I actually don't know. I don't know either.

Starting point is 00:12:35 Also, we don't call them that. We call them Cleveland Baseball Team. We agree that the other name had to change, but we're not sold on the new one. Did you see they asked Trump what he would do

Starting point is 00:12:51 about the Commanders? He's like, a lot a lot of people are gonna be mad about me i might get canceled for this and we're like i don't i think that this is probably past the point this is probably gonna be the least offensive thing you've ever said he got trump got canceled that is that is you hear trump got canceled can you imagine redskins that was the that was the straw that broke the camel's back i've had it fox news turns on him yeah he resigns he's like i shouldn't yeah so paul he puts out like a youtube video like playing taking accountability dot dot dot jesse waters like rips into him he's like

Starting point is 00:13:33 you know i've stood by this guy through thick and thin i draw the fucking line i will say the best thing the commanders could have done is be good they are good that's what i'm saying oh yes yes if you get a new name like you just have to be good and then people will be move on i've heard and obviously i haven't talked to any of them i've heard a lot of native americans liked it liked them being called the redskins and like it was like a point of pride that i'm gonna be honest that name feels fucking insane i can't believe i can't believe it is the like there's some ones that are like ambiguous maybe it's about like right that one is just like nope that one just sounds racist yeah that one i the fact that no one no one raised an eyebrow at that

Starting point is 00:14:19 until like recently i remember they were because it's a cool low it's a cool logo it's a cool color i would play i would play with them in madden 08 and there was there was zero part of my seven-year-old brain that even remotely registered like that's that's a crazy thing to name if you go color and then the word skin probably don't name a football team that i would steer clear of that what if they went the other way and they named him skin reds oh no i was thinking like the white skins the white skins yeah there's just like a like an average white guy really good special teams the white skins the white skins would be would be cool but i think that that would be that opens i don't think that would be cool either you would take offense to

Starting point is 00:15:09 that i don't think i think it would be a crazy thing to name uh it would sound threatening it would yeah oh it makes me think of like neo-nazis yeah yeah the whites the skinheads are coming all right today we have the new england patriots versus the washington skinheads like what yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't i would probably go that would be the only time i root for the patriots might get me on board like i don't i'm in a i'm in a i'm between a rock and a hard place right now i gotta pick between the patriots and the skinheads i am going to a camp concert next wednesday very excited and it was really easy to get tickets because i bought them on seat geek very stoked about this partnership because i legitimately

Starting point is 00:15:56 bought my tickets for everything on seat geek i bought my tickets to my mets game i went to all my concert tickets they got everything and they got the best deal because they they compare everything and they give you these cool little scores they have 28 million downloads number one rated ticketing app more than 70 000 events they got concert sports festivals everything the nfl schedule just came out uh like a month ago football's coming up it's the best place to get tickets mlb is back i literally went to the mets game like i said two weeks ago bought my tickets on SeatGeek and I got nice dank seats and I accidentally had bought an extra one and so then I was able to relist one of them on SeatGeek and it sold right before the game. So I didn't

Starting point is 00:16:32 lose any money there and I had a really good time. Look, you can see past events. Braves at Mets, Mets at Dodgers, MJ Lenderman, Mets at Diamondbacks, Spring Training Mets, Spring Training Mets, MJ Lenderman, Casey Musgraves, Pitt at Boston College, Florida at Texas, Mets NLCS, Mets, NLCS, Mets, NLDS, Auburn, Georgia, Titans at Bills, Rockies at Dodgers, Rockies at Dodgers. That's a random one. So guys, SeatGeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of one to 10. So you know you're getting a good deal. So look for the green dots. Green means good. Red means bad. Plus every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. You can use code playdate for 20 off tickets at seat geek that's 20 off your first purchase with promo code playdate make sure

Starting point is 00:17:21 you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later thank you so much to seat geek let's get back into the episode i have some other big news come on lay it on me i found it at my barbecue i was talking we finally met our upstairs neighbors yeah it's a couple weeks here i guess uh and they were like yeah like they like made some like offhanded comment about the guy the cult that used to live in our apartment did you read did you hear this i heard this whole story yeah and i was like crazy but i didn't hear this the what they're like oh yeah there was like a giraffe cult in your apartment but anyway where the hot dog i was like i was like everyone fucking sit down they're getting

Starting point is 00:18:04 to the bottom of this a cult that operated out of my apartment before we moved in called the grateful giraffes nice i follow them on instagram look up the grateful giraffes i mean you follow them on instagram yeah i saw you click follow i'm like why do you you're a cult follower grateful okay i'm a cult like a fan follower again it's funny you say a global community dedicated to human flourishing can you go to their reels lauren i want to see what these people look like in action no will at your barbecue i was why would the hell was why would you do that why what why what what no we're not i'm done letting i'm done letting stuff like that slide what was going through your head there i honestly had a panic attack sorry no i'm just kidding no it's fine uh

Starting point is 00:18:52 i'm sorry my friend will rudely interrupted you i didn't do it cut the clip i literally was just sitting there still um i was talking to one of the girls shut the fuck up what is your oh ruin blazers i was talking to one of the your neighbor's friends and i was like oh yeah i work with will like friends i've been friends with them for a bit uh she goes oh wait those guys like they're are they a part of the cult like because they didn't know anything about you yet so that's what he said to me and i was like that's why they haven't introduced themselves yet i was like uh what do you mean and they said oh like the banana cult or like the there was like banana guys and then they clarified it was yeah wait play this video

Starting point is 00:19:38 so i don't know how this is like a run club probably not far apart okay pause it Lauren I haven't seen one sorry what were you gonna say I was gonna say

Starting point is 00:20:03 I haven't seen one giraffe I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and say the woman in the new from Nespresso blend wellness into your coffee routine

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Starting point is 00:20:41 shit i might if she's a leader i might fucking join that shit I think I knew that guy. You knew one of the Grateful Giraffes? I'm not kidding. We see, like, Jerry. It's Edge. Edge is like, He's like the leader.

Starting point is 00:21:04 There's like a big, like a painted photo of Edge. They're all worshipping. All right, turn this off. I can't watch this shit. Wait, but go back to the... I've seen the Instagram, but it looks like they have a website. I seriously think I saw one of my hinge dates in that video. You see a video of Edge melting a guy with nothing but touching him?

Starting point is 00:21:21 Edge touches one of the followers' forehead and his skin falls off. Labs. Should we click this? Yeah. Should we call them and be like, how do we join? Invest? What? Can you have like equity in the cult?

Starting point is 00:21:36 I'm confused. Okay. It's like a wait. They're scanning people. Wait, wait. Lauren, go up. Sorry? Go up?

Starting point is 00:21:44 all right minimum investment is a hundred grand okay we can make that work we can make that work for a hundred grand willie all investors receive equal access to deal flow updates and community resources what does any of that mean deal flow sounds fun deal flow sounds fucking awesome multiple investment pathways designed to welcome investors at different scales so if you know if we went in you know 50 grand 50 grand we could be an entry-level investor in this cult how about i'll put 100 bucks lauren puts in 999 million dollars sure you put in 20 bucks sold sold oh i forgot wait that's i forgot to mention i forgot to mention if you guys if you guys are in the uh greater los angeles area and you're looking to freak off a burger you're looking

Starting point is 00:22:42 to freak off a bird no if you're looking to you know get some new wheels head to the santa monica okay what is this you got a discount on your car because you said you'd fucking head to the santa monica uh jeep dodge chrysler in on uh on whatever street go in ask for ask for Rhett and uh and he'll he'll hook you up they made was a it was a seamless experience for me how much off the card it was a seamless experience for me and uh and I you know I can't say enough good things about him head over to Santa Monica head over there they gave me a great deal they're gonna give you a great deal he's gonna hit the 60 second spot head over there and uh and ask for Rhett and he'll uh he'll get you a good deal what you got to tell me what did you make a deal with it

Starting point is 00:23:40 i didn't make no i don't know what you're talking about that's insane you sold your own ad you got to give us a cut i'll give you rides i guess you got all right i'm sorry i'm fucking i'm selling ads okay that would be the grateful giraffes actually paid me a million dollars you guys there's a cohort coming up oh it's actually happening right now how mad do you think this the sales team would be if they found out we were it sounds like you just did it i did that doesn't count at all i didn't get any like money for it what did you get a discount on your car what did you get a kiss no he got something for that that was transactional it was too he stuck to it too much that he had to have gotten something uh no i basically i uh

Starting point is 00:24:33 my my uh i wasn't gonna be able to drive the car that night like there was some like protocol or whatever like it wasn't gonna be ready and uh the guy when he was looking at my application like i was like what do you do and i started telling him and then he called the owner of the dealership in and the owner was like oh i i've seen the the podcast clips and i was like yeah well i'll i'll shout you guys out he was like cool yeah you can take it tonight and so it was it was basically like got it i i i skipped it i was gonna have to wait uh and then i ended up just getting in the morning anyway so i guess i got nothing out of that but um well i actually did have so if i say i can get a car tonight you could i mean you still have to pay for it uh i'm so so so stoked

Starting point is 00:25:25 about my new car i've never it's my first car with power windows oh that's nice it's my first car where uh with power locks so you remember how like anytime we were going somewhere i had to be the first guy to the car and like run and like unlock everyone's doors yep yeah that is nice retractable one button the roof comes off is that the thing where if you click the wrong button the wheels fly off yes okay so you should be careful about that there i don't even know why that's on there yeah it's a jeep thing i think you wouldn't get it it's a jeep thing it's no one does the jeep thing no one does the jeep wave out here it used to be it used to be a oh my god i my ex had a jeep and i don't know she'd always let me drive it and it was literally my favorite

Starting point is 00:26:05 thing i was just like can we just drive around so i can fucking do the that's why i wanted one you did no one does it out here it's the only place i've ever lived where they don't do it i had a jeep in maine everyone did it i had a jeep in florida everyone did it jeep or creeper no one does it out here i think everyone everyone out here thinks they're fucking mr cool no this is a fun thing we're gonna do together wave back just start just start doing i do it oh you do not to everyone i did it this morning and the girl literally looked at looking like i had four heads is it only wranglers yeah i when i got my first jeep because i would do it to everything i know i was waving it like grand cherokees and stuff and my dad was like you're not supposed

Starting point is 00:26:43 to do rubber ducks i got i got ducked once ducked that's what that's what happened that's how you like accumulate them is people will like see your jeep and they'll be like oh cool jeep and they leave a rubber duck on your car oh really that's how people like have a bunch i don't like that i i was at a i was at a i was at a beefy king in um orlando florida not good don't go what the fuck did you just call me you're my beefy king that's like when you start packing on the pounds and your girlfriend's but your girlfriend still loves you she's like this is my beefy king uh is that uh what kind of food is that beefy king i got like a like a roast beef sandwich fun and tater tots but the lady at the drive-thru uh keeps a bin of ducks there to whenever a jeep

Starting point is 00:27:33 comes to the drive-thru she would get that was the only time i ever got ducked i like that duck duck i'm going to dan tana's tonight oh that's right next to the troubadour yeah ital italian restaurant because scott miss ready thought it said don tuna and we thought that was like a great name for a guy like uh don tuna he's the leader of uh of a of like the tuna mafia no like he gets a cut like anytime anytime uh anytime a fish comes through it works in sales you cork out like you give him like a cylinder of the tuna nice and that's his cut works in sales okay what is he ruining your bit what does he say sabotaging your bit what does he sell i don't know it's just

Starting point is 00:28:21 it's fine he has like a fine job he's getting married but he's not happy about it but he's checking the boxes and he's figuring if he checks enough boxes in life that at some point it will start to make sense and he'll be happy but for now he's just sort of going through the motions nice that's done wait you should go to the anderson pack bar what's that shit called oh i have it i have that written down it's next door to don tuna's or it is don tuna's or it's next door that reminds me of something i don't know why this reminded me of this yesterday yes i was doing my rowing blazers shoot yes we're walking down the model model my little model yeah no but no actor whatever two photo two photo shoots this month i'm i'm

Starting point is 00:29:08 they're saying the other one bonobos you did that with me they're saying they're saying the clothes the closers basically sell themselves when you put them on rusty they're gonna sell themselves that ain't if that ain't the truth then i don't know what it is but tommy sissel and i who are uh who works for rowing blazers great guy uh he him and i are walking and i'm asking about his time in la and he was like dude it was crazy i was uh i was at justa and when we left uh you're never gonna guess who i saw and i was like who he was like andre 3000 walked past me when i was leaving justa and i was like do not tell willie that he is gonna i go let me guess uh cool beanie big sunglasses or big glasses he was like yep he was wearing the exact same thing that i said i saw him

Starting point is 00:29:54 in so now another guy always wears that's not part of it for our new listeners no no one time i was leaving a parking garage my fucking god and i was listening to me i was listening to miss jackson someone and andre 3000 jay walked in front of me it's a true story yep and willie hates it because willie saw him two days before and he wanted to be the only guy that saw andre three thousand no it's not are you sure you weren't hallucinating no no willie definitely saw me i'm saying i just want willie to acknowledge that that other people can see him i believe that other people can see him i actually believe tommy it was the timing of me coming in saying hey i saw andre 3000 how cool is that and then you come in literally the next day and say i saw him while

Starting point is 00:30:40 listening to miss jackson it was like a cool thing that happened to me and then just found like a weird way to one-up it what was the what was the there was someone you said you saw recently and there were a bunch of comments that were making me laugh that it was like it was something like like if it was tony hawk it was like let me guess were you playing pro skater or something well who did i see yeah whatever doesn't matter chris rock oh yeah that's it was when i saw chris rock people were like he's gonna you're gonna come in uh the next day and say you saw chris rock while listening to uh one of his comedy records what's the fucking song from like uh what's he in grown-ups is he in shrek or he's donkey yeah yeah or something like

Starting point is 00:31:24 that doesn't he have a song or i saw chris rock uh well he's like he like made music oh no it was like shrek shrek songs mr jones it doesn't matter it doesn't or like whatever it doesn't matter whatever that you saw him watching daddy's home 2 or something is that him no that's mark walberg and and uh will ferrell close close lauren how you doing lauren are you really really happy yeah yes um wait i was gonna say something and then i forgot oh that's okay um no rush oh no rush girly pop thanks um oh here's something exciting me and me are gonna do another megabit on friday and then also i took an adderall yesterday because i had a lot of work to do yeah and i is that prescription or should i call the cops

Starting point is 00:32:27 sure you can call someone's prescribed it it's not necessarily lauren you can call you can call them it's fine all right fair enough it'll be okay um woke up at 5 a.m this morning like i probably slept like five hours woke up at five and i was like i don't have to do with myself so i just went to the gym and but now i think i'm gonna be a zombie today i've decided oh zombies give me your brains after podcasting let me record you

Starting point is 00:32:56 let me record myself eating your brains give me crazy brain wait what are you doing in Maine again I'm actually not going to Maine I'm going to Salem Massachusetts for my cousin MK's wedding witches witches do you know why the Salem witch trials happened

Starting point is 00:33:15 no do you know why the Salem witch trials happened i mean they wanted to they wanted to fucking kill a witch this is what they think it lines up you know people can sound people can say that oh they were like on drugs or something there was there's this specific mold that grows on uh wheat and apparently they think that it has like a hallucinogenic effect hallucinogenic and so they think that they were just eating like bad bread or bad yeast and uh and everyone was tripping balls and being like that person's a witch like i saw them levitate interesting yeah lauren have you ever been a witch a couple times have you ever been to halloween a couple times do you guys like halloween yes i

Starting point is 00:34:03 do you look for i what i hate it i don't think i really like it either because i don't like dressing i don't okay even dressing up you the other day you were like i hate getting dressed i hate getting dressed in general i hate yes but you put together like not fun outfits you clearly don't hate it i do i dislike it but once you're in the outfit you're fine yeah sure i just don't like getting so i don't like getting i don't like getting dressed up for like this wedding is it like putting is it putting clothes on that stinks or it's like you wish you were naked no i don't wish i was naked uh like you want to just wear a t-shirt it all the time yeah i just want to wear like i don't know i i hate like trying to think about it

Starting point is 00:34:44 and trying to think about like what looks nice or something like obviously it's part of existing you have to kind of figure it out but i think i just want to feel comfortable and i don't really like having to think about what i'm wearing and i don't it's not you don't like this way i think for a lot of people it's like a source of like it's like a fun thing to like pick out your outfits or like style your and like that has never existed for me in my entire life i don't enjoy when there's a wedding you don't there's not a little part of you that's like this is fun putting on like a suit no especially because like dude it's gonna be fucking hot i love summer weddings are always hot actually i look though it's gonna be kind of nice this weekend mess but

Starting point is 00:35:26 i don't yeah i don't know it's not like listen there are a lot things that bother me a lot more right it's wisdom and uh okay um covid okay uh h1n1 what's that uh swine flu spanish flu okay let's let's veer away from diseases day-to-day things you don't you wish you could day-to-day things that bother you what bothers my will um waking up in the morning really um i don't love waking up either like physically waking up is always stinks oh um that's kind of i think we should unpack that a little bit no probably not no not like like you dislike waking up that's like one of the best times of the day uh being like oh yeah i'm just like really bad at it oh you know what you should do do you sleep with

Starting point is 00:36:27 your blinds shut no okay well that was my only or yes but like the light still comes in like i have a big door a glass door that isn't doesn't have blinds so sleep with everything open when your room fills with un unfiltered light like it is not going through the thing you'll feel so much better because just because you're aware it's bright out won't make you full like i used to do the sun hits me in the face i used to live in the sun room at chester's i still didn't like waking up i just like being in my bed how late do you go to bed uh like 10 10 30 okay yeah i was i have i have almost no suggestions for all my i think that's pretty normal no that's completely normal yeah go to bed at 10 no to not like getting out of your bed in the morning

Starting point is 00:37:11 oh wait why don't you hear something funny that mia said she was doing for a bit she heard on mel robbins podcast that a football player no he's like the motivation you know who that is Mia listens to Mel Robbins I put her I put her on do you listen to Mel Robbins oh you love her I do I do boy no it's not Mel Robbins that's a it's a she's a like a mother middle-aged Tony Robbins you know who Mel Robbins she's like uh pull up Tony Robbins let me just make sure let me just make sure I'm not going crazy really quickly I want to tell you about my thing yeah Tony Robbins is the is the oh they're also they're both motivational speakers and authors kind of so but I love her podcast I've been really out of my like I don't know I haven't

Starting point is 00:37:50 listen in a while but she's awesome mia heard from one of the episodes that uh because she had a guest on that her specialty was all about just like sleep and like how to have better sleep and just like feel better in the mornings and there's this thing that she told them about or that she told mel about called uh what was it slithering i think it was like a thing to do when you wake up to where it'll just like help your body well you like wriggle around in the bed no literally get under the covers no no no run around like a dog no you wake up before you stand up on your feet you get down on your hands and knees and you like crawl to the bathroom so mia told me about it wait what that's really what it is slithering yeah and i did it once i

Starting point is 00:38:33 was like i feel so stupid i'm never doing this again i think that i and granted i love getting out of bed in the morning i think if i did that that would make me feel so so like little and weird i mean that's one of the crazy it's truly one of the craziest pieces i want to try it no that's how you get down yeah let's watch it let's watch let's watch this yeah then you crawl to your bathroom yeah let's see mel robbins slither out of bed okay that's fucking oh that's not her is it no let's watch mel do it hey it's your friend mel i love her if you're having trouble getting out of bed right now i want to give you two hacks that i absolutely love and the first one is slithering here's how it works instead of springing out of bed let's just slither out i learned this

Starting point is 00:39:30 you're my therapist you literally just roll onto the ground it's easy to let your body weight fall onto the ground you roll the bad energy out and when you feel ready you are going to sit up now hack number two that's not what i did you got to plan what you want i want to give you a free 29 okay i agree with the second part i write down my goals and i will say since i started writing them down i've checked off things that i had made no progress on so i think there's something there's something with that second part it is i might try slithering honestly i think that i think you should and you should let us know on monday i will i'm gonna try how it goes but that feels that feels um i think if i was on the ground i would if i had to get out of bed

Starting point is 00:40:20 every day like that i would hate it that would ruin any progress i've made i used to hate getting but now i love it what changed i think i go to bed earlier i think i'm i hated school so much i think like going somewhere i didn't like like i really enjoy what we do for work so i think that helps but i think okay that actually now i'm now i'm realizing i'm just i'm just very fortunate to have a good job because every time i had every time i had a job that i was not passionate about i wanted to kill myself i can't say that okay yeah i wanted to i had to set like 10 alarms yeah and i like would i woke up later and was more tired so i think like just the dread of going and doing something that you don't want to do but on days that we're recording in the morning i'm

Starting point is 00:41:07 like i like spring out of bed yeah i know i do that i set a million alarms and i i uh i think it's just the dread of existence in general i don't think it's anything to do with the job we'll unpack that in a second tomorrow don't tonight don't set an alarm why i never set an alarm i think that's why i wake up early oh and not like stress if i don't set an alarm i wake up usually on time but like for recording i jack i thought you met it was like something special about tomorrow i thought it was like daylight yeah yeah like no no no one needs to alarm no alarm night my dad my dad uh told us when it when we were kids i don't know if this is real or not but if you sit in bed and you're like i want to wake up at this time and then you

Starting point is 00:41:54 don't set an alarm you'll just wake up with that i mean i like pretty often wake up before my alarm but i just said it just in case yeah same the uh but then i'll like go back your text this morning was very funny willie willie willie bikes to work on the boardwalk and texted us uh sorry traffic is crazy uh i'll be 10 minutes late and then i checked his location he's just at his house also there's no there's no such thing as bike traffic on the board yeah it also takes me seven minutes to get here so you also you said you said i'll be there in 10 minutes at 9 30 uh and then i don't think you left until until 9 40 no that's not true i left at 9 35 okay i was here like 9 42 or three i i filled up my water and got nice i did some i had to go get my chart but yeah that is

Starting point is 00:42:48 correct i don't like mornings i'm not a morning person never have been no lauren do you think one of my sorry what no well what i was going to say is one thing that has helped me build healthier habits recently has been accepting that a little bit and not like accepting what that i'm not a morning person and like yeah i think i would do myself a disservice in the past like when i was trying to get into better routines and like get my life together a little bit i would like say i'm gonna get up in the morning i'm gonna go for a run then i'm gonna do this and then go to work and it's like well then i would not want to get up in the morning and then it would you know just snowball and so i've given i think i've done myself a service by just accepting it's like my

Starting point is 00:43:30 mornings i just got to get up and get to work and that's enough and i'll do my runs after work whatever plan on doing that in the evenings totally but like if you tell yourself you're gonna if you try to be someone you're not you're gonna disappoint yourself and then you're just gonna give up on goals i would constantly try and be someone i wasn't like when i was trying to be more productive where it was like i think the only the only uh the only person that i'd seen that was very productive was my dad and he woke up like five and then like went down and was like on the treadmill and stuff like that and so like when i was like i should be a little bit more productive i went way too far in the other direction and i would wake up it would still

Starting point is 00:44:12 be dark and i would like drink coffee and like watch the news but i was like this isn't doing this is doing nothing i would i'd be i would be doing myself more of a service by sleeping to a normal time like me sitting and like watching the news isn't like any more productive than yeah sitting in bed sleeping that's really funny the thought of you forcing yourself to like i was just like drink a cup of coffee in front of the productive guys is like i'm like down didn't you have some story about like getting up and yeah i would go like walk on the treadmill yeah in the morning and my dad came downstairs and i was like watching the i had the tv like angled towards the treadmill so i was walking with a black cup of coffee

Starting point is 00:44:51 and like he only does that because he like goes to work really early like i still school still started at like nine yeah just like oh you're you're just burning four hours of energy for no reason four hour energy he would go to work when i was a kid he would go to work at like 4 30 in the morning it was it was banana i think it was because of like the housing crash everyone was just like scared and just like we need to i need to work and get up so hard yeah um but i remember being pitch black and when he when he pulled out his headlights would like go across my room through the shutters or whatever and i would like look at my clock and it'd be like 4 30 it was like what could you possibly yeah i don't even know sometimes i wonder like what does like

Starting point is 00:45:36 when your friends have your friends have like a desk job like what what do you sometimes i've never understood i would sit in my dad's office and i'd be like i don't totally understand what he's doing on his computer i think you know what i mean i think it depends on the job for sure do you know what i mean though but like sometimes like like like flan at her desk job yeah i've asked her about it and like i don't totally like you know when you ask someone like what do you like what does your day-to-day look like and they're like well i oversee this or whatever like i don't i still don't know what that type of work would yeah it's like managing people a lot of like facilitating communication making this a lot of guys here where i'm like i don't know what

Starting point is 00:46:15 you're doing on your computer when i walk in on i'll tell you this when i walk in on scott when he's working it is like it's like he because he's like in like sequel and shit like coding making models of it's like no it's like looks like uh in criminal minds and they're like garcia pull this up like so that i i got respect for whatever the fuck he's got going on because that shit looks confusing as hell that is the in a weird way that's kind of the only type of work that i do understand on that side we're like i don't obviously i don't understand like what they're achieving but at least like there's a clear goal and they're sitting like doing that or like when i talk to my friends that are in finance it's like they're on like excel or whatever like that

Starting point is 00:47:00 kind of makes sense to me the the people's jobs who are managing other people i don't know what they're doing when they're not talking to like when when our managers are talking to are not talking to us i can't i've never understood what they're doing they're exploiting our labor is that what's happening it's weird that's why we're unionizing but no be real with me like when like when edge when like when we're not talking when edge is not in a meeting or doing stuff like what i obviously know he's working i think he has enough meetings and do i think if you think about how much you interact with edge imagine there are 40 people at this company that interact with him that amount okay so imagine you have that many people to deal with okay every day i think the

Starting point is 00:47:44 edge has no shortage of inbound shit to deal with so it's just putting out fires all day yes i think that okay now i understand edge's job let's move to jack what does the ceo i have no idea what jack does that's what i'm saying i have no idea what jack does and that's not that's not to knock on jack that's more i'm confused i'm confused what ceos do in general i think a lot of big picture like sitting there strategizing yeah and i think a lot of like what him and kenward do is like managing our like relationship with our investors i guess too and like keeping them informed and um going what does the ceos like a bank do though uh they count all the money all of it but you know what i'm saying like like most day-to-day stuff is obviously handled by the

Starting point is 00:48:33 people below them they just have to make a lot of tough decisions probably and they have to be in a fuck ton of meetings that sounds horrible yeah we should pay them more i agree well i mean they're the backbone of this economy ceos yeah i saw a thing that there's no there are now this might be more rusty misinformation but it would be it'd be good misinformation to spread uh apparently there are now like almost no cities where a 40 hour a week uh minimum wage job could afford like a one bedroom apartment no i think that's totally true i mean the minimum wage hasn't gone up in like 40 years or i don't know a long ass time it's still the federal minimum wage is 725 an hour well and then we live in california where they raise that but like in south carolina it's

Starting point is 00:49:20 still 725 an hour i don't know when the last they just have to work like three jobs yeah people have to get multiple jobs like there's no there's no you should be able to buy lunch with an hour's worth of work yeah there's nothing there's no lunch that costs even triple that yeah it's fucked we were learning in health class about how uh my teacher was very intent on teaching us about how uh how to buy healthy meals for cheap because a lot of people get stuck in a cycle of like they just have to eat at mcdonald's every day but there are i mean you guys still had to jump through a ton of hoops but she was like there is a way to do it yeah no it's it is super fucked we have a i have a kid i went to high school with that posts on his instagram phil and i are the

Starting point is 00:50:10 only he's private and he won't accept anyone yeah so if you weren't following him in high school you like can't see him so we can only send them to each other phil and i but he works speaking of jobs i do not understand i don't know what i know it's some some sort of construction but he is constantly the dirtiest man in the world like it look it if if i had to guess it would be like toilet construction during the gold rush when they were like exploding mountains because like his he looks like like like a cartoon that just got like blown up by a stick of dynamite his head his hair is like sticking straight up in his face is the dirtiest thing in the world i wish our job got was dirty i wish our job made my hands calloused my hands are already calloused from lifting no i

Starting point is 00:50:56 just have always had i've always had really dry feel i've always had like very like rough hands a worker's hand dude when i was like when i was a kid i shook one of my dad's friend's hands and he was like oh working man's hands and i was like he literally does nothing they're just like that he does almost nothing i used to i think my hands are calloused from lifting come on come on there was one your bench oh i don't do that what were you gonna say well i was gonna say there was like one point where i was i think like this time last year maybe where i had been doing like f45 and i was trying to play guitar a lot and get better and so i had i had cows on my fingertips and my knuckle or whatever and uh no it was awesome it was like

Starting point is 00:51:40 it felt sick now i'm now my baby little baby hands and my fingernails don't basically don't exist fingernails that don't exist i remember when i said i was going to stop biting them i never did look they look kind of fun they do not look fine i feel like i haven't seen you biting them as much as your pointer you see well let me see what no you said how do you even get that part of the years of experience this pointer finger is the worst i get the nails make me so skittish why well you would because when i was a kid i go into construction something about them getting like ripped off every time i accidentally stabbed a buck knife through my thumbnail oh my god garrett garrett alexander and i were in the woods behind my house and we found a

Starting point is 00:52:24 deflated kickball yeah and i just got my new buck knife and so we were like let's pop it but it was so deflated we couldn't get a good like it wouldn't pop when we were hitting it so garrett was like put pressure on it and so i put pressure on it with my hand and just missed the ball and went through my thumbnail do people still carry around pocket knives yeah should i get one yes no what why pocket knife you should get a pocket gun my dad carried how crazy would it be if i was just like open carry if i just like can you open carry in la i actually have no idea i don't know either there's like weird laws about it like i know like in south carolina i think this is the thing a lot is like there's laws about you can't concealed carry or you can't you like can't open there's

Starting point is 00:53:15 you can open carry like long guns yeah yeah because i guess then you're not like hiding it or something i think it's the same in florida there was without a permit you just walk around with like an assault rifle but you can't with like a is that where kyle riddenhouse yeah south no no no he was in wisconsin oh i saw a uh i saw a video you guys watch those like those guys that in quotes catch predators in like targets yeah lure they like lure a child predator to a target oh yeah and then they just like beat the fuck out of them because they there's nothing the person can do i i don't agree with that's not how we should go about it yeah i saw one the other day that i'm not saying it was funny i just it actually blew my mind there was there was this

Starting point is 00:54:01 very very bad guy who wanted to meet up with a child yeah and he happened to be very little he was like he wasn't he wasn't like a dwarf or anything but he just a small guy and they the pred catchers start harassing him and i was like you know let's see where this goes and uh one of them he tries to run away and one of them picked him up and threw him to the other guy and then before he landed the other guy hit him out of the air like punched him in the face and i was like obviously it's not that's not how we should be handling it but you just if you just got caught for being a fucking psychopath your days your days already ruined like you're probably Like, this can't get any worse.

Starting point is 00:54:46 You got alley-ooped to your body. He threw you, literally, he threw him six feet, and the other guy, like, had really good aim and punched. Can you Google that? Google Predcatcher punches. Predcatcher throws Predator at friend. It's just like a video. Yeah, new Predator catchers throws guy in air.

Starting point is 00:55:12 This has got to be the right one. Predicter. what dude uh maybe this oh no where is it it made me laugh so hard new predictor catchers throws guy in air that is the most so how oh how do they get oh you hit him with a pumpkin pumpkin wait yeah how how are they finding these people i think they pretend to be like 13 year old girls i my take on this kind of stuff i actually remember this came up on the pod once and there were some comments being like so will supports child predators i was like no obviously my take on this is that there's something very like bizarre about the people that are doing it

Starting point is 00:55:57 it's like yeah i agree they want to be they want to like be like fucking weirdo freak bullies and so they found like the one avenue where they can do that on camera and it's like okay no i agree i also think something like if you're that if you're that into it into catching them yeah that also for some like i know that's not the right line of thinking but i there's something about that to me that makes me think like you have maybe those thoughts and you're like so grossed out by it that you're like i have to go all the way in the other direction and yeah i don't know if i guess like do you remember like like big streamers were doing it like they'd go like tally and like guys heads yeah and like like throw like cereal and milk on them and like piss on their heads and

Starting point is 00:56:44 like i don't know like they were like it's just like okay like why do you want to be doing this because now it feels like we're past the point of you want to embarrass the predator right and you just found a human that you want to mutilate yeah like there was like something like sadistic about like the way they would do it it was like yeah i mean you're like what kind of i have these thoughts of crazy weird things i want to do to a guy why don't i find the one kind of guy that like no one's gonna like how can i how can i sat how can i scratch this it yes that's what it always felt like to me and that rubs me the wrong way it's very very weird but i guess there's a lot of thing that rubs those guys the wrong way too or they're rubbing the wrong guys that's kind of

Starting point is 00:57:25 what i was trying to do joke uh can i pee and then we'll do the road map of course man everyone having fun yeah i was laughing looking at my phone because i was just uh i was trying to take a cute selfie this morning and me and my have a great sandwich hat that was the fakest laugh i've ever heard i was trying to do big as you said i was laughing this morning because i tried to take a selfie instead of laugh like that was the whole story it just got me thinking about how uh most men will never experience like trying to get a cute selfie not true not true not true okay wrong we try and take cute selfies all the time yeah literally look i have one right here really yeah when i i was trying to show flan that my roof came

Starting point is 00:58:17 off and i took three selfies before i sent one what do you think this is okay well and she's my girlfriend how do i air drop to the computer look how many pictures i took of me trying to is this brian's mac studio no it's the podcast studio mac oh i was trying can you turn it on air drop oh wait i have one too wait one second it's gonna be worth it yeah pull up pull up your best i took like eight of them to get this really click on the arrow oh sneak preview what was that for see cute wait why were you taking that i don't know send it girls send it around i was just trying to gauge interest jack now you send one awesome you don't like that one i'm looking no i it's good i have you've done you've taken better photos

Starting point is 00:59:14 it was for a thumbnail thing i'm like trying to be no it's a ridiculous it's like a joke face yeah wait where's my cell phone what was it for what thumbnail like a youtube video yeah like a youtube thumbnail wait i actually take selfies every time i run what if you guys could be anyone who would you be if you go on my strava i got a lot of selfies i'd be on strava we'll know okay wait i'll airdrop you if i could be a selfie what would i be if you could be anyone who would you be oh this took me this took me probably four this was a pretty standard selfie it took me like four tries all right okay not funny all right choose your fighter

Starting point is 01:00:06 all right you show up you show up to a two man and when i was until very recently i thought a two man was um i thought a two man was like a like a foursome like i didn't realize it was just like a double date so i was like why are people so like no i think it is a foursome no no it's like hanging out it's like two people what i'm pretty sure no i mia says it a lot two men is a two man is like is like two guys two girls they go on like a double date it's like oh i'm with that guy and then like my friends with his friend not a sex thing no google it might have it might have different meanings but i i was like why are all these kids being so honest about like having threesomes or foursomes i it's a very like gen

Starting point is 01:01:00 z thing i feel like we're gen whatever is there a new gen refers to one of your friends wants to hang out with a woman but the woman insists on bringing her friend double date it can also be a term for a threesome involving two men what how is that a threesome devil's threesome how is that a threesome there's three of them i know i and i got nowhere a baggy clothes reboxed no we've talked and we've talked about this i have not now have you no i don't think i ever will either i only have one penis i just don't think i'd be able to look the guy in the eyes the next day i don't think i could look the guys in the eyes the next day i mean you don't have to look the guy in the eyes yeah i don't know i was joking there was one time i said that in joshua

Starting point is 01:01:44 tree and it was a big and the person asking the question went i never said that one of them had to be a guy and i was like oh right yes fuck we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches then we're gonna do am i the asshole and then we'll do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard there's rocks in my yard rocks in my yard and then i thought we weren't supposed to do it i'm fucking i decided that people wanted us to do it in the in the roadmap which i agree it feels wrong to not okay also we have some mail all right do you want to do that before or after

Starting point is 01:02:39 and then we'll after am i asked we'll do mailbag no no i think this needs to be first because remember if any of these are pitches i want to read them great all right we'll do mailbag then pitches then am i the asshole then this guy rocks then teach me something i got a problem i got my mail yesterday and i feel bad my i got a wedding invitation that i don't know why it came later if it had been like stuck in a part of my mailbox i hadn't or it was in the neighbor's mailbox or something but i got i just got today and it says please rsvp by july 4th and i have to mail it who's just call them yeah for the wedding this weekend my mom it no no it's a wedding in august but i can't go to it but anyway will pearson if you're listening

Starting point is 01:03:28 i'm putting it in the mail today wait i knew a will pearson oh nice is he does he have dark brown hair yeah is he from maine no okay different will pearson yeah or he was in two places it it's yeah i had my mom text his mom and i'm gonna put it in the mail now but i gave them uh and then after teach me something willie and i are gonna do some bar names that don't exist followed by science fiction movies that don't exist and then we'll wrap up with rusty's song of the day lauren let's open some motherfucking mail um should we just do three i think so we can like just have through what like because i just got another one today i think we should just do three i think three is even too many i think we could even just do one on episode one let's just

Starting point is 01:04:22 open three at a time and then we pick our favorite stuff don't read them yeah okay three mailbag i would like the brown one please we're only doing one remember i thought we just said three at a time we just sang what we have a box we just sang three at a time all right catch jesus christ i requested that came right to me threw me a slider all right ready no we're only doing one at a time i thought just saying you were literally clapping mail bag i'm not distracted by everyone opens one at the same time and then we say the best part i got distracted by the rhythm i think it's okay to all do one if we do one at a time it's gonna take we're never gonna catch up Yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:09 What? How often are these coming? Ow! Ow! Wait, I think that one was meant to go to you. I got a fucking paper cut. All right, Willie starts. No, we all are.

Starting point is 01:05:20 No, what are you? We sang the song three at a time. Three at a time. Everyone goes. Go, go. Go, go. Open mail. I see way too much pressure.

Starting point is 01:05:29 Way too much pressure. Oh, hell yeah. What is this? I got a picture of my own. Congratulations to Travis Edwin Jameson. Yako? Yako! I think.

Starting point is 01:05:44 He just graduated from Eastern Washington University. EW, stand up. Go Eags, stand up. He graduated with a 3.98 GPA. Wow. Let's go. And he has accepted a job at Columbia Memorial Hospital in Astoria, Oregon as an athletic trainer and will begin in July.

Starting point is 01:06:04 so he's working yay congratulations travis congrats dude he says will rusty and lauren thank you for your entertainment the past two years as i've finished my master's degree here i go bragging again you are all creative geniuses and the airplane stories never get old thank you i hope one day you will host a live pod that i can attend thank you for always being a bright spot during school this pod has a way of making light of everything going on also will please tell the live show to come to portland oregon or seattle with love from washington travis ps oh yeah we're going to seattle if i'm feeling generous for oh if feeling generous for a grad gift i wear an xl in a playdate t-shirt pps there's rocks in my yard thank you so much

Starting point is 01:06:53 travis that is lovely we love you that 3.98 is crazy whoever's the asshole that gave my boy travis and a minus you are a all right i've i've got a nice one from our friend zanzy this is from zanzy bagoon all-time name is that real yeah nice zanzy bagoon all right zanzy sent us my favorite thing is the card says you made a tiny human and they crossed that tiny human wrote podcast you made a podcast oh that's cute sorry this is the only card i had your chips guac and salsa long time listener first time mailer salsa

Starting point is 01:07:27 thanks for all the laughs fun facts and rocks in my yard hope you enjoyed this digital illustration I made for you guys keep being awesome love Zanzi

Starting point is 01:07:34 and include it on Instagram which is at underscore aesthetics dot by dot z underscore nice and they made us this whoa

Starting point is 01:07:41 oh look at that that is sweet wait now now you can do inception and put it cause it's all and they

Starting point is 01:07:48 they drew this in the drawing that's fantastic so we can do like triple inception that was like the idea i had yeah and look where but like they told us where we have to put it well can you can you hold it up to this camera they called their shot um my painting should be done soon but this was here can you put it up put it next to the trophy yeah okay that was nice championship trophy i don't can you scooch it back please in frame so we won

Starting point is 01:08:21 We actually blood, sweat, and teared for that. Blood, sweat, and teared. That makes me so happy. Yeah, that makes me happy, too. Thank you, Zanzi. That's so sick. People are so talented. And there's a little bit of anthrax.

Starting point is 01:08:31 Does anyone want that before I throw it away? I had some for breakfast. Wait, I'm obsessed. Also, this is perfect because I have a pitch. Pitch, pitch, pitch, pitch, pitch. Fantastic. okay this is from um kara what is up your sister's name is in the card wait what's that thing on the back there's a gift card just there's a playmate there's a playmate out there

Starting point is 01:09:03 there's a playmate out there that's been that's been dm and my sister i'm i'm on to your ass also I don't I don't I don't know if Karis likes men I don't know she's allowed to

Starting point is 01:09:18 but I don't think she does okay in there brother what's up boom shocker gift card carrot

Starting point is 01:09:24 why'd you say oh wow there's a gift card all right patience patience oh wow very good

Starting point is 01:09:29 I get eastern European when I get when I see a good deal gift card what what is up boom shocker

Starting point is 01:09:37 and laka Jocka. Locka. Boom. My name is Kara, day one subscriber here. You're all so wonderful and remind me to not take life so seriously and just have fun. Sweet. Okay, her pitch is, what is the worst part about flirting?

Starting point is 01:09:51 Ooh, it hurts. It hurts. Let's be serious here. Kara took the time to write this letter. It stinks and reeks. Let's give her, no. Be serious. The worst part about flirting, fear of rejection.

Starting point is 01:10:04 You kind of have to make a good first impression. Yes. otherwise nervous it's uh yeah it is it is the most terrifying thing in the world yeah so she says not being able to predict how much flirting is too much or what the other person's preference slash flirting style is let's be honest flirting is a skill that needs to be developed and as a society in 2025 we've all gotten a little scared or out of practice introducing wink sync the ultimate flirting tool this is an attachment that can be hidden in your glasses earrings hat or other accessories wear this device on a date to the bars or to your favorite coffee shop or even

Starting point is 01:10:39 to the office once you lock it on a target person the device will calculate the relationship status pull up any serious red flags so criminal history voting record current sti status voting record etc notes yeah i test and voting record back to back is notes about their usual type what type of opening line would maintain their attention uh this device then feeds you an opening line and a few bullet points to reference if the conversation dips if you were like me and like to chat like to chat chat people up at the bar after too many drinks the device will provide you with a filtered report so that it shows only the interactions that have the most promise moving forward wingsync won't do all of the dating work for you since being genuine in these interactions

Starting point is 01:11:27 are still important, but it will help strengthen your flirting skills, help avoid really awkward interactions, and hopefully lead to a solid relationship or at least a decent hookup. Love the pod. Here's a gift card so you can all grab a team lunch after a hard day at podcasting. XOXO. No way. You did not

Starting point is 01:11:43 have to do that. What's the gift card to? That's too kind. It's $50. That's so sweet. That is way too kind. What'd you do? Rip the letter in half. Lauren sees lunch wait that's so nice thank you and i love the i love the pitch no that's my only fear is like

Starting point is 01:12:01 you find out someone else at the bar had it too so you go up and do the line they're like sorry bud you got that same device that guy got because he just did the same one what device yeah what what's what is going on paying for where's everyone get this killer joke about monkeys how'd you know i like them i think the options are cheesecake factory Cracker Barrel Panera and Red Lobster wait

Starting point is 01:12:24 okay Red Lobster would be the funniest but I've actually heard the Cheesecake Factory and Marina is goaded I've never been all good someone just went should we go to

Starting point is 01:12:31 Cheesecake Factory today for lunch that sounds crazy I'm down that could be kind of fun go eat team lunch is it

Starting point is 01:12:39 yeah it's like only there's a cheese no let's go to the Cheesecake Factory there's one in Marina I'm really down sure they have like

Starting point is 01:12:47 I think they have like like a they have one of those menus goes that's a lot of stuff on the menu oh it's like that to you yeah well it sort of whispers google cheesecake hours is it open for sure yeah but there's one even closer holy shit holy we're like a block from a cheesecake factory That's incredibly close to wrong. All right, let's go to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch.

Starting point is 01:13:21 I'm down. I'm in. I just want to see. Okay, so I've never been to Red Lobster, though. What if it's really good? Oh, there's not any near. Red Lobster. Yum.

Starting point is 01:13:34 It's not Red Lobster. I know. All right, we'll go to the Cheesecake Factory. Cracker Barrel, there's definitely not one near here. Camarillo is the closest. I guess we're going to the Cheesecake Factory. cheesecake i can't wait cheesecake factor that is we have any stuff to do today i'm gonna look at my calendar i have stuff to do um seriously kara thank you so much that is so sweet and i

Starting point is 01:13:59 love that pitch yeah we have a very chill oh i shit my pants our mom we actually had one meeting and our mom canceled it yeah our mom canceled it all right let's get into the episode wait i have one more pitch okay hi pause this and immediately immediately this pause first time pitcher my name is axel and what is the worst part about group zach pop what i don't know what that oh my gosh wait care i forgot to acknowledge this cute lady she made a debut you guys care also put a little ladybug bean thing in it bean can i have it bean a bean i don't know it's just um a bees bees bees can i have this or do you want beads jib's not in bean all right anyway um have you ever had funyuns that taste like uh blooming onion they make those keep fetching

Starting point is 01:14:58 waking up okay so he says the worst part about group jots is waking up from a nap or errands a whole war has transpired or plans are made and it takes ages to scroll up and figure out what's happened yes introducing the group sum group sum is an add-on to your favorite messaging apps group me slack for rusty snapchat i message etc when you want a summary you activate it and it utilizes ai technology to scan the chat and provide a summary of important things such as best jokes who caught big strays and in the case of arguments a concise explanation of everyone's opinion and who did what so you can catch up to speed can even have uh apart apt nicknames apt i don't yeah apt is a word i know but like what i don't know apartment shut the fuck up 34b i don't know apt nicknames

Starting point is 01:15:45 like fitting okay i i'm sorry i i'm on i'm on lauren's side because i i've definitely said apt i know that's a word but i've never seen it spelled same yeah like in a okay sorry are you yelling i'm freaking i'm also just sad about it what you're sad wait wait speaking of freaking it when are we doing the burger freak off oh yeah we got to do this i need it we i can't have this be another 100 podcast guests i this is too fun yeah i need to do it can we do it like you guys sunday i'm out of town this weekend i'm gonna be really hungry till when sunday night what if all week i've i'm leaving friday to sunday what about after our monday record we go do the burger freak off and we put it in the middle of the video i'm fine with that sure burger freak off blah blah

Starting point is 01:16:41 wait we settle on do we settle on where the burgers are from or that's part of it that you can you can pick we can pick go pick we should probably just order them together no yeah let me wait let me finish so you can even have apps nicknames created such as chat clown punching bag the planner warmonger what pacifist mediator etc much love from florida warmonger much much love from florida and paraguay you guys crack me up keep up the great work paraguay i uh wait i have a question yeah what was the pitch again i forgot it summarizes the group chat oh oh i like that a lot yeah i i he's actually i think he was making fun of me but i would use it for slack because sometimes i'll see you guys going on about something i'm just like that is it's going to take

Starting point is 01:17:24 me longer to to figure out what's going on than to just pretend i didn't see it yeah no i i i'm in for sure all right what is the worst part about showing up to work early i can't relate so i don't know i have no idea yeah you got the wrong people you uh you still have to stay as long as the people that show up like at noon and and if you cut out early people think that you're leaving even though they've only been there for four hours and you've been there for like seven sure yeah i think that introducing the time clock it should it should you walk through the door everyone has like a tag on their backpack or something that registers when they walk through and then it displays for the rest of the day what time you got into the office so for

Starting point is 01:18:13 lauren on non-record days it would say like 10 15 for willie it would say like 10 15 for it would say like four okay let's bleep her name but then when i like want to peel out at four and i've been here since 8 30 on like record days then i then i don't feel like an ass wipe or someone can finally get us stern talking to because this office is too big no one knows when people are coming in people roll into here at like one o'clock i i saw one of our very good friends just strolling strolling into work yesterday at 11 45 who chester yeah we were filming an audition i was with him okay see that's i disagree with this fundamentally i think because i think the nature of our job is that people have different obligations a lot of times we'll have a

Starting point is 01:19:08 shoot that goes late or but if he so he was technically doing work at home his thing would start then okay you know what i mean that everyone would just actually that's the better that's the better that's the better application to that is we work like there are some weeks where we like work over the weekend yeah and we come back or whatever like it would be like maybe it gives you a score i mean that's i give up so much of my like evenings and weekends this like i don't feel bad if i show up at 10 15 sorry that wasn't i i don't think this isn't necessarily directed towards us no but i think there i think you know well fair enough i think that i think that we we have sacrificed a bunch of weekends for a job that is very fun and i wouldn't trade it for the

Starting point is 01:19:56 world but i think sometimes i don't like i don't like getting a side eye when i stroll in if we were here until midnight and then i stroll in at 9 45 instead of 9 30 i don't like the side eye yeah yeah i agree that's all i'm saying that's yeah i am very anti you i i would like don't you want to have like a like you'd have a 10 i just like i would like i like a ranking system i like to rank things this just in this just in rusty likes to rank things rusty ranks peers you would have you would have you would have a 10 because you work more than the i thought it was the time we switched it because you poked a hole in it oh so we'd have a 10 lauren would have a 10 got it got it and then and then we could all be like classist against the people that are like

Starting point is 01:20:41 fours okay i'm working harder yeah that maybe i like or maybe you could punish them we can spank them we can flog them we can floss pants them down floss them with a towel flossing while sitting down oh my god do you like your new jacket okay throw your will pull the muscle pitch me willie um all right this i i when i was writing this i was like i can't remember if i feel like maybe i did something similar one time yeah but i want an app that you can look at that has a list of every lock or uh item that needs to be turned off in your home so it can remove the anxiety of like sometimes i get to work i'm like fuck did i leave the coffee maker on and i always just text scott i'm like yo can you make sure the coffee maker's off or like there's like a fan in my

Starting point is 01:21:34 room that i try to turn off when i leave so i'm not running electricity every day smart home or like uh right so it says now i feel like maybe i did pitch this already because i feel like i remember someone ruining it too not you i like the comment i don't think so a smart home would know if my coffee maker's on really you can you can hook like alexa up to i think like everything now i just think you have to go through you have to oh i'm trying to figure out how to yeah it's not even worth it well maybe it could be like uh instead of a little machine it could be like a little guy no we we got off the train of little guys that got off little guys for too wait you remember how everything was everything used to be we'd be like this and here's the

Starting point is 01:22:23 problem but i remember a little guy that i remember a little guy i remember i remember i remember all right should we do am i the asshole oh yeah so you're saying you got off little guys i've never gotten anyone off i've literally never even come close to getting anyone off and i've tried you are wrong my friend you think i've gotten someone off you get me off every day okay here's a question do you think anyone's ever gotten off to a picture of you i can't i can't fathom what picture it would be maybe the bald one dude we were dump maxing yesterday yeah we did you dump did you dump because i dumped well you i dumped because lauren said we're gonna do a playdate dump so i had gone

Starting point is 01:23:09 through my pictures and put them in the folder and then you were like i already dumped we can't do a dump so i was like all right well i picked out all these pictures i'll just dump i buy annually dump so i i've been i've been doing like a couple times a month dumping i i would say yeah it happens about twice a year for me maybe three times a year so i think it's because you ascend like because of my lovely girlfriend i essentially have like a photographer following me around all the time now so i just didn't have photos of myself until now well that was also it was weird about the dump i was like how far back can i go like dude i've slipped i've slipped a couple in that are just from like a year ago but like this is a cool photo well that was like like i

Starting point is 01:23:55 had like the photo for my race in may but i was like that's a sick photo like that should go somewhere i like the what was the one there was slide nine you were going hog wild on like the table what was the context that was at mel's diner for oh yes i knew i had seen that before all right lauren i think we went stinko no for sure we actually went to the cheesecake factory i would like to yeah am i the asshole time hit me hit me brother hey emily gus and liam what emily gus does she write into the wrong podcast oh she's doing a bit you're liam okay who is who's who which who's who i think i'm binder you're

Starting point is 01:24:42 will not like a ton of overlap in our personality you're liam sure no i'm who am i who would be who am i who am i i'm binder you're you're angus and you're liam willie okay i don't think that's right at all then what's right there i'm liam you're angus lauren's binder is that just because that's where they sit maybe but that feels right okay really yeah i feel right okay long time playmate seth f and seth mcfarland yeah and former proclaimed asshole on here just wanted to redeem myself and even the score one-on-one on being the asshole can you remind us which one he was i don't know i just choose the google sheets by random so i didn't know that you had already submitted and i didn't want to

Starting point is 01:25:34 yeah um and i don't want to do anything no i just i like i liked the the gist of this story but i didn't realize that he already submitted so it's your lucky day um anyways i was in a wedding a couple of weeks ago for one of my longtime buddies he told me it was going to be a dry wedding which i'm completely fine with however since we were scheduled to be there for nine hours during the day and going to spend multiple hours before the wedding just sitting around me and one of the other groomsmen went out and got some drinks for us and the other groomsmen to enjoy while playing pool and waiting he found out about this while it was happening and waited until we were on the dance floor in front of everyone during the reception to call me out

Starting point is 01:26:16 in front of everyone for breaking the rule or breaking his rules am i the asshole for getting me and the guys some drinks before the wedding side note none of us were hammered nor even tipsy at all i want to say i want to say no because i because i disagree i or i don't disagree i i just am terrified of the idea of of a dry wedding that sounds awful but i have to stick by my guns i'm the guy who famously said the armpit hair thing about weddings and about how true on your special day you make the rules so i think if your buddy wanted it to be a dry wedding for whatever reason i think that i think you should respect that even if even if it's stupid i think you should not have a dry wedding i disagree because i sounds like they weren't

Starting point is 01:27:14 at the wedding yeah but they they drank before the wedding yeah but being a dry wedding doesn't mean that just means there's no alcohol at the wedding that doesn't mean you can't have drinks before the wedding oh but i think because he's in the wedding party maybe i don't know i want to be on your side i just have to i have to be consistent in my i think those are totally different i don't know okay here because we're talking about the wedding itself a hundred percent like if you're saying it's a dry wedding we're not drinking at this wedding then it would be rude if you were like slipping fireball shooters at the wedding yeah yeah but if you're getting a drinks before the wedding they were just like sitting around like fucked up like then you're

Starting point is 01:27:58 fine yeah okay i see that point of view like that's like i even consistent with like your logic even though i kind of disagree with your logic about the armpit hair it's like that's at the wedding yeah yep that's true okay i'm in not the asshole yeah well i will here's the thing what if the groom is hammered what if the groom is like a recovering alcoholic and didn't want to be around that on a special day and then the guy saw the groom's been drinking but he didn't see him drinking how did he find out i don't know it isn't clear i don't think you're an asshole i just feel like maybe out of respect you could have confirmed with him and been like yo is it cool if like me and the guys just like have a couple beers because it is his day i think you should

Starting point is 01:28:42 Yeah, that's also fair. Yeah. I think someone giving you their entire day that's all about you without beers sounds like not a world I would want to be in. If someone asked me to be in their wedding and they said it was dry, I would do it. But I would – it was just – the best part of the – I've only been to a couple weddings. The best part of the reception is when everyone gets a little tipsy and everyone's going crazy on the dance floor. Yeah. But if your friend didn't want that, you would do it.

Starting point is 01:29:12 Yeah. Totally. i'm saying but i might have a beer before yeah you might get in trouble then i careful trumble my friend jake had pre pre ceremony drinks on the like lawn outside of their where they were getting married and then when they called everyone in everyone brought their drinks inside and i'll let me tell you watching a wedding is already beautiful watching it with a cocktail was fantastic because you're just sitting there you're completely you're completely in like weekend mode and then your friends just getting married in front of you i had a vodka lemonade

Starting point is 01:29:47 in my hands a little vl i would want an april spritz spurts to watch my friend get married i am going to a wedding this weekend is it dry it is not and my favorite part is like the drinks on friday they were like no like wear a t-shirt and jeans oh yeah that's the best yeah um my friend alex is getting married in september in louisville and uh i am i'm very excited there his his crew his crew is a very fun crew to party with ragtag not really they're all pretty pretty put together uh they're like they're like a little southern preppy yeah but they just some of his some of his crew was there for new year's and they're he's got fun buddies that's the best is when when you have a fun friend and then they don't have fun friends you're like this

Starting point is 01:30:47 you deserve better than this when you're when your fun friend has equally fun buddies around him totally and they're and they are not they're open to more guys being around the best the best that rocks all right is that what was that emily asshole so now we do this guy rocks yeah this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey you said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard there's rocks in my own i i've made a i made a split decision there that i'm not gonna i'm not gonna let people tell me what i can and can't sing if i want to sing it i'll sing it unless all of you don't like it but i think all right i have this is one of i've been pretty excited about this one all right lauren i slacked it to

Starting point is 01:31:38 you uh lauren pauses immediately and i mean immediately okay so i am i'm a proud half italian american and uh you know sometimes i don't i don't really get to get in touch with my culture that often right um and so when i see is it sicily yeah featherstone sicily Featherstone is deeply Sicilian. Got it. No, but I'm Italian on my mother's side. Got it. And a lot of times I don't see good Italian-American representation on social media.

Starting point is 01:32:16 And I think anytime someone is showing what it's like to grow up Italian-American, I like to see it. So this is a woman called Ivana Bonetti. Very good. And she is going to do a little role play of what it's like to be an Italian-American. We're role playing. We're guys. Honey, what would you say if I ever said your cutlets were too dry and I didn't like them? That's easy.

Starting point is 01:32:40 I'd just say, do you want roses or lilies at your funeral? Well, thank God this was a hypothetical and I didn't actually say it because I love your cutlets. Honey, what would you say if I ever... Yeah. I mean... That made me so hungry. Every Italian-American can relate to the cutlets. asking roses at your funeral these types i don't understand is she make cutlets or she just says

Starting point is 01:33:04 comedy is this like trying to sell cutlets or i don't know i don't know well no no she does like sketches about being a time these these uh italian america these types of italian americans uh there's something about them that really does just doesn't sit right with me so these types influencers no no like uh they're okay let me let me rephrase i have met some italians that are you know they have their family has not lived in italy for fucking five generations and it is like the way they go about it is so performative and weird yeah there's no other there's no other ethnicity i've seen it firsthand yeah i know there's no other ethnicity that takes pride in such a weird or such a strange and like loud way yeah you and i are both

Starting point is 01:34:01 irish yeah if we walked around and like tried to be yes exhibit that if we walked around all day like trying to be super irish that would be weird but for some reason italians can do it they need to assimilate it's very very similar it's very very they gotta stop trying to have their own cultural identity no that's not i'm fucking with you that's not even like the way they the way italian americans act is not even italian it's like it's it's it's yeah i don't know i've always thought that it was just like they were like more like rooted in like their family tradition i don't but maybe yeah but it does stand out it's performative i've seen it I've seen it firsthand.

Starting point is 01:34:47 It's very, very interesting. Yeah, no, I agree. Like my mom's side is very proud to be Italian. Yeah. But they're not whatever that is. Yeah. You know what I mean? They're still, it's very centered around food and like family and these interesting dynamics.

Starting point is 01:35:05 Yeah. But they don't, it doesn't feel super performative when they do it. I don't know. it's this it's the jersey italians that are just it's a different breed of human it's so fascinating to me yeah all right let's see it really yeah it kind of is like the rizzler oh i love this did i do this one already i don't think so i don't recognize this guy he what yeah you already liked it fuck just pretend like you haven't flaming basketball shot

Starting point is 01:35:42 brink that's so good I love him teach me something teach me something alrighty have you guys ever heard about

Starting point is 01:35:58 the pirate that became a governor no woods rogers was a former privateer do you guys remember what privateers are from my last pirate lesson lauren no countries would have uh they would hire privateers which are basically like legal pirates so like spanish privateers would go like raid another country's ships but it was under it was like legal because they were doing it with the consent of the government uh so rogers was once captured i'm sorry who once captured a fortune and treasure off the coast of south america after returning to england a hero he was appointed the governor of the

Starting point is 01:36:40 bahamas in 1718 okay uh he was there to clean up nasa which had basically it was like overrun with pirates so he sailed in to nasa kicked out the rowdiest pirates and actually offered royal pardons to any pirate who gave up their ways uh many did including benjamin hornigold do you remember him of course of course uh that was actually a pretty pretty common thing lauren there that's how blackbeard got got caught is the is the king said if you guys come in and swear you'll never be a pirate again i'll let you keep all your riches and i'll pardon you okay uh here's the twist hornigold eventually got bored of playing by the rules so he switched back to piracy this time hunting spanish ships on behalf of the british so technically he wasn't a pirate but

Starting point is 01:37:29 definitely still pirating uh meanwhile rogers was stuck trying to run a half reformed pirate island full of guys who kept like going back to piracy so like you would get them to start playing by the rules and then they would go back to their old ways uh the line between pirate privateer and politician was extremely blurry back then and sometimes they were all the same person so he was like he had a foot and foot in a couple different ways who hornigold or rogers both got it isn't that boring wait rogers was going out and pillaging people yeah or he was just running the he would like he was like getting them under control and then he would like go be a pirate it was weird they couldn't get him to stay that story didn't really make a lot of sense were you about to say

Starting point is 01:38:12 isn't that boring yeah yeah because it wasn't as cool as i remember it i like it i like pirate shit that was my worst pirate story by a fucking landslide no i just got confused it sounded like hornigold was the one doing the pirating it didn't sound like rogers was actually i confused myself that's okay do you know about the world's tallest hat come on come on 17 feet tall santa hat it's a santa hat yeah google world's tallest hat it's made by joshua kaiser this yeah okay what do you mean okay you know okay that's fucking i mean groundbreaking stuff i guess 17 feet tall a bunch of why don't i feel like i could beat the world record right now if i wanted

Starting point is 01:38:59 to should we do it yeah we can make it at the burger freak off wait what is the current it was his bucket list how does it stay up because it's fucking like metal tubes no but how does it not like bone does not like snap his neck it's probably very it's probably made of like pvc pipe still yeah i don't know it's shocking that is hilarious wait remember when remember when we were gonna fill out a guinness thing and then it was like ten thousand dollars yeah which is crazy yeah what were we gonna oh that i was trying to get us to we're gonna break the record of most podcast guests i know you have to pay like hell bank yeah for that shit bro um all righty willie should we start hanging out should we start with bar names that are good names for

Starting point is 01:39:51 bars or science fiction movies that don't exist yeah perfect which oh you pick these are good names for bars this is a british pub called mind the tap the gullible traveler the drinking store the notary i was thinking you could be like all right i'm off i gotta go to the notary and people think that you're filing important documents but in reality you're getting drunk with your friends the notary public house yeah that makes it kind of poor fool but it's p-o-u-r oh oh

Starting point is 01:40:29 I love that poor fool streets don't love you like I do is that a song yes it's from the greatest rap album of all time

Starting point is 01:40:39 I'll show you later the outer rim and it's like a space themed bar like we're in the depth of space I like it that's a Star Wars thing

Starting point is 01:40:47 yes oh is it yeah damn it there's a planet in the outer rim it's like where they're building the clones

Starting point is 01:40:55 and shit I got it from somewhere you know uh beer sold here the polished nipple i'm not going there you're not going to the polished nipple well this is going to feel really derivative my next one was the polish nipple is it really no willie's wild western wacky one way saloon wait say it again willie's wild western wacky one way saloon one way saloon the iron fist ooh I like that it's like the iron claw Oh

Starting point is 01:41:36 spoiler I've not seen that yet I do do science fiction movies that don't exist Yes. I'm trying to pull it up. These are cyanide. You want me to do it? What did you just say? I just intro'd it. These are cyanide movies that don't exist.

Starting point is 01:41:52 These are science fiction movies that don't exist. Hi. A drug is sweeping the nation, and it's hallucinogenic, and it lets people see this alien life form that is not visible to the naked eye. once the aliens realize that they are now discovered because of this drug we get into a full-fledged war with them but we can only fight it when we're high on the drug so the aliens are trying to shut down the manufacturing of this drug which is making it harder to fight them and it's a fight for control over earth i love that thank you warning an astronaut preparing for a mission

Starting point is 01:42:29 to colonize mars begins receiving messages from an extraterrestrial threatening him and telling him to call off the mission he eventually decides that they couldn't be real and he goes the mission is successful and he returns home after setting the the mission is successful and he returns home after setting up the first steps of a mars colony upon arrival at his house he finds one final message we warned you and when he looks outside he begins to see the start of a full-scale martian invasion i love it uh depth the earth is getting too hot because of global warming so humans move civilization deep underwater and underground in doing this they discover a whole new world of different alien species that have been living in the depths in secret for longer

Starting point is 01:43:17 than we knew or we know uh we we learned that two of the species have just began a war with each other and we are trying to figure out which are the good guys and which are the bad guys and who to back in this war i like that uh snailopolis a group of scientists experimenting with a new growth hormone accidentally let a snail near it and thus is born snailopolis snailopolis is 5 000 feet tall and actually really nice but it grew it goos and crushes everything in its path and is protected by its shell world leaders must race against slime to amass all the world's salt and kill snailopolis oh no and get let me tell you let's just say there's a big ending showdown in salt lake city i love it do you like race against slime of course that was my favorite

Starting point is 01:44:06 parallel parallel 1 000 years in the future astronauts are exploring the deepest parts of space when they see a planet that looks identical to earth uh they go and check it out when they land it looks exactly as they had heard earth looked in the 20th century they do some investigating and realize that the planet is somehow earth in the past they notice that the same events from our earth are reoccurring there and they have to decide whether to tamper with the past and prevent things like hitler rising to power 9-11 etc or if though or if present or if preventing those will uh completely throw off the course of human history and lead to even bigger problems i like it it's like time travel meets space travel it's nice one more drag after

Starting point is 01:44:58 a series of uncharacteristic violent murderous outbursts from local teenagers scientists trace it back to a new kind of vape you start over i got confused after a series of uncharacteristic violent murderous outbursts from local teenagers scientists trace it back to a new kind of vape everyone is using it has been hacked to control kids brains and uncertain of the technology they must convince everyone to start smoking cigarettes before it's too late i love it i love it that's realistic thank you uh sometimes the best sci-fi is stuff that makes you say wow that really could happen yeah should we look at the cheesecake factory menu wait why lauren it'll take 30 minutes lunch yeah to go sit down and eat yeah it'll take like an hour it took an hour until you don't have

Starting point is 01:45:51 to put out a clip i really want cheesecake i do too we're going we'll post it just a selfie for cake cake instead of a clip we'll just post it uh or just or just a grit like using the camera on the grid i feel like people need to bring that back what yeah yeah like a grid post a grid post a grid post of us at cheesecake like this yeah yeah yeah yeah perfect um okay i have immediate too but i think we can make it work we've plenty of time okay what's your meeting the producer it's not cheesecake right no we should go right after this okay i'm done oh man i won't get to eat my salad i brought oh no that did not sound genuine oh fuck i'm gonna have to have like goaded nachos or something um all righty it's time for rusty's song of the day guys remember when we hit

Starting point is 01:46:48 10 000 followers on rusty songs of the day on spotify two of you are getting 101 dollars so go follow let me know you followed uh today we got be my baby by the runettes the runettes i believe i love the runettes i love it it makes me happy and you know i got a i got a convertible now so i like to play it when i feel the wind going through my hair and it makes me feel like Coming in 1960s movie, baby. I love it. Okay. Lauren just Googled Three Stooges after looking at me.

Starting point is 01:47:26 She's a girl. It is the 20s. Oh, I was right. Holy shit. 20s until the 70s. We were all right. We were talking about the Stooges before we started recording. That's just an incentive.

Starting point is 01:47:36 We were all right because they were doing it for 50 years. Comment your favorite. Oh, that's what you're going to comment today. Comment your favorite Stooge. Comment who's what Stooge. calling dr fine dr howard dr fine i haven't seen it yeah all right we love you guys have a great rest of your monday have a great tuesday and we will see you bright and early for our wednesday episode guys spam scorp in the spam scorp scam scam scam scorp uh lauren play that play that

Starting point is 01:48:07 theme music I'll see you next time.

Will & Rusty's Playdate - alex cooper is my cousin

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