Will & Rusty's Playdate - block your ex on spotify

Episode Date: June 25, 2025

Will, Rusty, and Lauren talk blocking people, shared playlists, and how Willy got scammed out of all-you-can-eat tacos. The most heated debate in Playdate history goes down—hint: it involves goat meat—and the guys wonder how far they could launch a burger. Finally, the boys break down a Playmate who cheated in their office bake-off and make up wrestling moves and facts about Ancient Greece. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: USE BETMGM BONUS CODE PLAYDATE AND GET YOUR $1500 FIRST BET OFFER TODAY https://promo.nj.betmgm.com/en/promo/geolocator?orh=promo.betmgm.com&wm=7123555 START YOUR NEW MORNING RITUAL & GET UP TO 43% OFF YOUR @MUDWTR WITH CODE PLAYDATE AT www.mudwtr.com/playdate! #mudwtrpod 00:00 Intro 07:29 Willy’s Big Break 18:24 Celebrity Sightings 26:28 Debate of the Century 42:32 Distrust for the Food Industry 50:04 Burger Freak-Off 59:56 The Problem with Marathons 01:11:22 Roadmap/Pitch Submissions 01:32:10 AITA 01:39:48 This Guy Rocks 01:44:56 Teach Me Something 01:48:15 Drafts #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

New from Nespresso, blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function and Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight, our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com.

cute hat you haven't worn that one in a while this one it was in my car that was up in the shop um so yeah that's what that's where it was that's cool chomp chomp all right play date episode 117 josh allen oh yeah brock osweiler is that right i don't know brock osweiler do you guys see photos from him and hayley's wedding brock osweiler no him and her oh yeah i did josh they're they're gorgeous gorgeous little couple what am i doing brock osweiler callous bell montana yes 17 he looks like robert pattinson yeah that's interesting he's tall too you would love him actually yeah he's 34 so he's right up your alley yeah love that he was good for like a few games one time i don't even really remember why i know dude he was the backup on that super bowl team with

peyton manning yeah and he was like got he like played like a lot that season because peyton was ass if you google how if you google brock osweiler the on his like linked what oh that's what i'm typing and i was waiting it's just already there oh i thought you were gonna say the link no i'm saying like for the people at home if you google brock osweiler the first thing that comes up is how bad was brock osweiler oh that's kind of oh he was like good yeah then he got a huge contract and then it was dog cheeks how much money did he make and he made a ton he got a huge deal after that after payton retired learned google how much did brock osweiler make

just in his yeah in his career 41 million dollars never started a full season yeah what does that mean 15 and 15 yeah i guess if you can if you get tired before 30 if you can win half the games you play i think you just 100 deserve that much money well he was a unique i don't think most quarterbacks who win half the games they play aren't making that much but yeah that's true he was just unique because he had like a few games that they had to base their future off of and so they just gave him a huge contract he must have okay let me rephrase he was a perfect he made it all very quickly but a guy who can is capable of winning that many games

could make 41 million dollars over the course of a while as a backup quarterback that's true um my our cleaning people don't this is gonna sound this isn't gonna come out the way i thought it was going to actually we have we have we have we have cleaning people that come bi-weekly and it's like 50 bucks it's not like some bougie service whatever and they've just been inching up the time that they come so they used to come at nine and then it got to the point where they were they were like there at like 801 and it was just like this is way too early because now i'm like rushing my morning to like get out to get out of their way because i feel like it'd be rude to like yeah be sitting there and finally we were just like you guys you have to somehow meet us in the

middle and come at 8 30 and they said they would and then i was walking uh home from my waymo this morning and they were just sitting they're just sitting outside waiting uh until 8 30 on the dot walking home from your waymo because it can't it can't drive to my house you're at your girlfriend's i'm guessing oh got it yeah i think that's a valid like i'd be a little annoyed when i was a pool boy if i showed up earlier than i was told the woman would come out and yell at me and i'd have to go wait in the van like i'm where wait where like at their house like if i showed up someone's house at 750 when i was a little boy when i was a pool boy oh a pool boy yeah boy i think so when i was a little boy if i showed up early i had to go sit in the van and wait oh no

like if i was supposed to clean someone's pool at eight yeah or nine wait so they were waiting so then but this is the this is because we finally were like stop fucking doing that yeah because they would they would show up super early and then i would have to be like can you please clean my room last it's a good problem to have but it was just annoying where it was like our work doesn't start until 9 30 or 10 so like well it's not that you should just hold them sooner no we would tell them oh and they would just ignore it it was like we had agreed we'd agreed upon nine o'clock and they were just showing up at eight it's like at no point did someone tell them that that was okay it was just it's just it was it's a first world problem but it was getting really annoying where

it was just like i don't just because you are forcing me to wake up this early that doesn't mean i should have to yeah i don't know i felt like hostage in my own well it sounds like wednesday mornings we're making progress now yeah but it's just 8 30 still too early like i just tell not that was when they're supposed to come we had to be like let's meet in the middle it's just annoying i don't they're they're big morning birds they're born i know it's just the weird thing is they're like there's a guy that that ty communicates with like he owns the cleaning business and he usually pulls up sometimes he comes in and like does a little bit of cleaning but he usually pulls up the van all the ladies get out and he just kind of like chills in the van

we were like is he like a pimp for like cleaning ladies like what is he there's no way they're all his family he has to keep it running in case something goes wrong what do you oh the car yeah i don't know it's we i just was like what what does what does he serve what role does he serve maybe they can't drive could be true i just find out i find it hard to believe there's not one of the six women that can drive maybe they just act like they can't drive so you can get a ride that you wait you want to see me acting like i can't drive yeah what what the fuck what the fuck

that i was in a car in that right right yeah um i got to i had a great i have some crazy things lay it on me like what oh there's a spider on my hat ew yeah loki the studio's bug maxing today loki the studio i like that sentence it's good well first of all there's flies like all over the place don't do that we were talking i wasn't like you hate like you hate my company what don't do that like you hate my company i don't have any beers i just i'm saying it is it's pretty jarring to hear that sentence is something that you or i would say and no one would blink an eye but like hearing lauren go yeah the studio's low-key bug maxing we kind of put in perspective like no but i'm saying that made me realize how ridiculous we probably sound

yes you i'm sorry studios low-key bug maxing i liked it thanks okay a few well first of all i'm also blue max we were talking about this earlier i had my you are blue max do you get a new phone case i've had that i asked her that the other day too and she had to get a new phone when my phone got stolen anyway story well first of all i got we were talking about i got my big break today on the track star on the interwebs i got interviewed about the musics i have one thing i have to say about this guy he's the best but the they when they play the songs when you're doing it okay so this is like the thing where they put the headphones on you and they're like for five bucks name the artist and i filmed like a month ago and it came out today

when they put the headphones on you he plays the song from the beginning but then when they do the clip and put it out it's like the chorus of the song so it makes me look like a fucking idiot for some of them i mean i'm sure no one was thinking no i don't think so i feel like you got them all but like the one the the like krungbin one where like leon bridges is like singing like that just came in as like you know it's on texas sun yeah what is krungbin that's the artist the best literally the best group best band his name is krungbin it's a band called their name is so yeah it's not kind of a funny name it's hysterical what does it mean but anyway the beginning of that song is kind of like a slow build-up before like leon bridges

comes in but then in this in the thing it's just also one of them was ho hey by the lumineers yeah and i'm sitting there like and i swear to god it was not ho hit by the lumineers because there's no way because that song immediately starts out like ho did you get it wrong no i got it right but like i was obviously it was ho hey but well no it's named the artist so i just said the lumineer it was a lumineer song for sure but i feel like it was doesn't this song ho hey immediately start was like ho i've been trying to do it right okay maybe it was like flowers in your hair and he like just forgot i think he probably couldn't remember what i don't think it was wait well the song they played in the video was ho hey i don't know i just but it's it's me sitting the guys going i

belong with you and i'm sitting there like which just made me laugh i don't know if i would get that immediately because i don't think i knew it was called ho hey i think i could you just have to say the artist oh i think i might have said mumford and sons okay well i definitely anyway i still got it but it was fun that kind of music gives me a headache and oh i love that shit i like that one but like generally speaking i mean i'm more meant mumford and sons like dude i love mumford and sons yeah of course you do i just remember sorry that came out didn't come out the way i meant to do you know how like when you get a new car and like the new car smell gives you a headache sure my mom got a new car like when all those songs came out and so like

john mayer and like philip phillips like that like there's like a there's a one year chunk of music where i just like i think i heard all those songs for the first time in a car that gave me a headache so i like what's the what's the phenomenon where like you occam's razor sure we trimmed yeah we trimmed away i don't know but yeah i those songs are good but they make me they make my do you like the lumineers sometimes i love the room i was i've always wanted to see them live i was kind of uh i have seen them yeah they were fucking amazing cool yeah you saw the lumineers live yeah how was that it was i saw music festival in 2021 maybe the lineup was zach bryan lumineers camp stevie nicks all in the same that's so random zach bryan doesn't

feel like he should fit there well he that was like early zach bryan so he was like early in the day kind of thing kind of before he was does he like he's kind of he was he's kind of like folky too like that guy gives his early fucking heebie-jeebies well obviously i have my on my big big fat beef with him but i do love his music his set at stagecoach was awesome i like his i like a couple i'm glad i only know the hits you know what i mean like because i don't know i actually i'm not like obsessed with his like i blocked him on spotify he blocked him on spotify oh yeah because i was just tired of like skipping it that's funny but he does he's got some great songs but i just he gives me the fucking creeps

for some reason that's so funny i didn't even know you could do that yeah i didn't know that either yeah it's like so just to never hear someone ever yeah it's like still because i think i had liked like two or three of his songs so like if you scroll through my likes you can still see that it's there but it's like fainter and you can't click on it yeah yeah i i actually had an ex-girlfriend block me on spotify one time it's kind of as you couldn't like see what she was jamming out to yeah because like we used to share music all the time and so like i i legitimately did go yeah at one point to look at what what play like her new music because i was like what's she been on she's she put me on zach bryan actually she put me on about noah khan a

bunch of these people and uh yeah she probably she's like why do you make that face just like if she put you on to those people like early like before six season before she should be like she should be a talent agent she should yeah but she blocked me on that and i think instagram too now so that'd be funny if you wait what did you do to her the one that got away nothing i don't know i feel like she's i don't i don't think there needs to be some grand reason why people do that a lot of times it's just like for their own sake because i've blocked but this is the thing we always come back to where i am like friendly or friends with like the majority of the people that i've been with and then and you'll you guys will be like that's crazy but i think it's crazier to

for no reason block i'm not saying it's crazy your situation sounds great if it's like healthy and normal it's just like very unique i think it's way more common to yeah completely cut off like when i'm like done i need to be like done maybe not no maybe not block but it's probably more common to block than to be friends with them yeah for sure yeah that sounds that would be funny if you went to you went to check on her spotify you know if you're like on your laptop you can see what they're currently listening to yes it was just like getting railed jams you're like oh my god no it was like kind of like i don't know they were like i remember looking initially and there were like playlists that were like clear like breakup yeah it was

fun but then i was like oh i guess she got rid of spa i guess she moved to apple music anyway uh and then at one point we kind of you're like prime is a good deal this time of year we rekindled at one point i asked i was like did you rekindled like at one point no i meant because we were just talking about prime sorry oh oh oh that's funny that was stupid no that was good keep going i like no but and then i was like did you block me on spotify she's like yeah i didn't want you taking my songs and sending them to other girls or something and i was like all right yeah did you guys ever make playlists with a significant other yeah all the time yeah shared playlists is so that is the only that's the only like tie i've cut after a relationship

is like i'll stop being a collaborator on that's funny oh that's funny i'll do that i'll do that with like notes like in the notes app you can do yeah like share oh yeah would you like text in your nose no just like ideas for things or things you want to do together positions you want to try out okay you know they're like free like you know this point card this spotify jam feature of course i like if i go if i sort by jam and look through it it's just like all everyone every like it's all just like girls that it hasn't worked out with wait you can see who you've jammed with yeah like it creates a playlist like your jam no no or sorry sorry sorry blend is the word i'm looking for i don't know what that is spotify blend it like you set it up you click you both click a button and

then it matches up your music taste and creates a playlist out of songs that some are songs you both like and then some pitch that no no it'll be it'll be like that person added that they'll it's not added i know spotify makes right as i said it it's like this is a song you both listen this is a song that one of you listens to that the other would like and it makes any time i've done a blend it's kind of been ass yeah it's never been but it's kind of a good it could be like a good starting point like oh you like this song too that's true it'll tell you what songs you both listen that's true but anyway that happened okay that wasn't even my crazy yeah what what no no i just forgot how we got into that i got one more i was talking about my viral moment

i got one more thing on this while we're still on spotify yeah back to the like making playlists thing correct i think that's like kind of like a you know girlfriend boyfriend thing like you wouldn't do that with someone you're like hooking up with or whatever it was i think it's a pretty intimate i've definitely done that i think i have to yeah it's a pretty intimate in my eyes thing sure because i'm very very specific about what playlists are on my thing and a girl when we a couple years ago a girl i was hooking up with made one after we'd hung out like two times and like we didn't know each other really well enough to even like have a good judge well were you talking about music a lot because i feel like i think i played

that's how it usually comes up i played music like in the car oh you weren't even like sharing songs or talking i was i mean i didn't the most like baseline we'd hung out like two or three times i think and she sent me a playlist i was like it was like an inside joke i like didn't get it was like i don't know i just felt very forced and i remember being like that oh well i like i feel like that very often with girls has been like an inch like a starting point is like talking about music and stuff yeah so that's happened actually this girl the girl that blocked me on spotify it we started dating because i walked up i was like you have great music on the porch yeah yeah it was yeah oh when you were a lawnmower yeah that is really cool i

know because she was i walked by every day she'd kill her tunes playing every time anyway the i I digress. I digress. As you all know by now, we've teamed up with BetMGM this season. We'll be using BetMGM lines to make all our picks, and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week. If you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE, and you'll get up to a $1,500 first bet offer on your first wager with BetMGM,

and Willie's going to tell you how it works. Step one, download the BetMGM app and sign up using bonus code PLAYDATE. Step two, deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game. Step three, you will receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets if your bet loses. Just make sure you use bonus code PLAYDATE when you sign up. Guys, go get BetMGM, follow those steps, start placing some bets. Don't forget, if you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE and get your $1,500 first bet offer today.

Crazy stuff. New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function and Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight, our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com.

Sing of all time happened to me last night. well maybe not that but it's crazy it's craziest thing of this day okay okay week yeah i'm at jameson's for whitney's birthday party none of you guys went note your absence was noted i was babysitting i literally didn't know there was one bro is allergic to slack uh wait further here's the thing the the ones that you are like getting on my ass about not reading are in the i'm all over that are in the general chat that people send a slack in if like someone sneezes they'll be like rick just sneezed you know rick had a baby yeah rick i saw that i'll like notice like the big stuff like that but like that there people spam that chat and it's almost it's 95 of the time

it's like not relevant to me so i i so you hate your co-workers you don't like what you're saying i love whitney if they're i love i love that channel i don't like this is what no this is what i'm saying i am mad about this because people the reason i missed her thing is because people abuse that chat and so it's like the boy who cried wolf like if if you send 95 unimportant things and then five important things that's impossible to sift through i don't think it's as many things as you're describing but it's it's five a day and zero are important to us yesterday was a birth and a birthday party i know like five people that were born yesterday really yeah you know five babies five babies you know five one day babies

five babies that's the way you said that yeah okay anyway it's like a weird a weird remix to the 12 days of christmas on the five babies five or is that what it is i don't know on the sixth i'm very curious on the fifth day of babies on the fifth day of christmas my true love gave to me five babies someone commented on the last episode that we all were like really interrupting over each other and now i'm very trying to be really hyper aware of it i mean we've been doing it for forever but as i was editing i did notice that i think we were going a little crazy in the last we're going nuts we're nuts guys anyway i'm at jameson's yeah what's going what's this what no the story so yeah i just did it i'm sorry i met james he was in the middle of telling it and

you instead of just listening you go what is what is this it's like i'm sure he'll explain it to you in a second wait what's this what's he doing that was an impossible question to answer he's at the beginning of the story what is this all right i'm at whitney's birthday party my mic off it was i was there sitting outside with my buddy mark brockwell who's that he's a director and a writer i don't think i met him i don't think you have met him nice guy very nice how old fellow mets fan uh i don't know probably a few years older than me nice um he directed that short film that me and elise were in like a while ago yeah yeah anyway uh we're sitting there guy walks by headphones in walks into jameson's i go what the fucking heck chris rock what i'm like

what the fucking heck that was chris rock i think and uh i don't know it was like felt crazy and lucas and caleb were there so i went over to them i was like oh my god guys i think chris walked chris rock just walked into jameson's they're like why the hell would chris rock be going to jameson's on a tuesday at eight o'clock and uh they were like i was like i don't know maybe he's just I think he might have just gone in to go to the bathroom like because I think I thought I'd saw him walking to the bathroom Lucas is like oh I'm going to the bathroom right now so he goes in there he's like I didn't see Chris Rock I don't think Chris Rock's in there like everyone thought I had made it up and I was going crazy we're like and he didn't come out for like we were there for

like an hour or more and he hadn't come out it's like I guess maybe he went out the back like I don't know how I go in there to the inside part to where like Whitney's table is and I'm standing there and i'm like guys i i think i might have just seen chris rock and they go he was at the table next to whitney just sitting there he had gone into jameson's alone headphones in got a beer sitting there watching the dodgers game it was insane that's so chill and i said i said guys i'm pretty sure i just saw chris rock about eight feet from him but thankfully he had his headphones in so i think he didn't hear me and uh that's that's almost unbelievable i know it was if you don't for the people at home jameson's is picture the last place you would think chris rock would be

it's like a college pub place in santa monica it's like i will give jameson's benefit at the end of the night it's insane but like eight o'clock on a tuesday it's kind of like an it's like a cool sports bar yeah totally yeah but it was if if if there were less people there it would be probably my favorite it was like perfect capacity less at this point it's the it's the perfect bar until there's 500 people there correct but it was insane i don't he must live very close to here i mean there's no reason he would walk go to yeah and he yeah he's just sitting there maybe he just wanted to watch the watch the dodgers and live like yeah i'm I'm agreeing with you.

I'm saying, like, maybe he was just like, fuck it. Was he in one of those booths? No, he was in one of those tables, like, way at the back, like, kind of in that little alleyway by the exit. Yeah. And everyone left him alone. No one bothered him. It was really nice.

It was cool. Wait, that, yeah. And then I saw this guy I had met once, and I was talking to him, and I told him, and then when he was walking out, he was like, when Chris Rock was walking out, he was like, did you say something? I was like, don't say anything. Don't say anything. Like, cool.

and uh but then this this fella couldn't help himself so he turned and put his fist down a little fist bump on the way out it's pretty smooth hat on he had a hat sunglasses all black yeah that uh i've always thought that that actually is the least incognito thing you could be wearing when you're a celebrity like the blank hat it was a blank hat when they're wearing a blank hat i think they think it's more incognito that's like if i see a guy whose hat doesn't have a logo on him like that's a that is somebody yeah i will say i did like a quad i think the sunglasses might have helped get i was like there's is that fucking chris rock like i did a double take but i'm saying like if he was just wearing like a hoodie yeah yeah and a and a

dodgers hat you would be like it would be too risky to be like is that chris rock or is that uh just a guy yeah yeah oh trust me when lucas and caleb when we thought chris rock wasn't there i was taking a lot of a lot of heat a lot of racist accusations come my way yeah a lot of hey i think that's just the bouncer and uh it felt really good to find out it actually was chris rock i was the bouncer feet was feet was to my fire a little bit oh oh my god fire was feet were to feet was to my fire a little bit that's what i look like this now yeah it looks like this you look like he's a handsome guy i just haven't seen a picture of in a long time like i know he was 60 does he look like this now you're like on a picture well i don't know i would

assume so also here's another thing that happened to jameson's last night it was all you can eat tacos on tuesdays what scam why scam why after the first order of two you can only get one at a time and they come out every fucking 30 minutes i was like trying to taco max and i only had four tacos yeah my friend uh how much did you pay for it thirteen dollars so you just had that you have just dinner you had normal dinner yeah actually still a little i feel like four tacos for 13 bucks is pretty decent i might have i might get uh my cha-cha oh pardon i might get cha-cha about teddies oh i love i hate teddies because they because they i went it's not goat if that's what you're gonna say it literally i went in after and like confirmed that they're beef birria i swear to

god they told me that yes it was goat i had been eating there all summer and was like obsessed with it and then you don't eat goat i didn't i don't eat it when i think i'm not eating it i also don't want to eat it goat is like dog to me goat is like dog to me i way too low to the ground to be eating i think normal a lot of birria is goat but they advertise it as beef birria i remember i don't care either way but i remember like having the suspicion the whole time and then because i was like it doesn't you have to get my back it doesn't taste like normal beef oh i just i think it tastes like i think it does oh i didn't at the time i haven't had it in three years but and i never will wait this is crazy why you're that like if you liked

it wouldn't that no no i remember being like goat no i think i just liked that it was close to clubhouse and i could walk down and like the the tortillas are not i like the way they do the tortillas yeah they also changed the name of it what do you mean on like uber and google go back look angel amigos birria tacos venice yeah they probably had to change it because they people were like it's illegal to serve to advertise you're selling a different meat than you're selling oh i'm positive i'm positive it's goat go back and eat it and and be like well have you had the quesadilla i don't care if it's goat i know but i do and i don't like someone telling me that it's beef when it's goat that's disgusting um i mean look at that that's goat all day long

what are you talking about how would that be beef look at it no beef looks like that what let's is there like a thing where it says whether it's goat no i'm saying they advertise it's beef but it's goat the guy said it's goat he's vampiro uh well i mean you're telling me they advertise this beef but the one guy you asked was like i'll tell you the truth it's goat i asked was like is it goat and he was like yes what if you thought you said what if you thought you're saying stewed beef stewed beef right there yeah wait what are you lauren what are you not understanding about this i'm saying they i know we're saying we don't believe you i know but i'm saying like the la times just being like it's beef because they say

it's beef oh oh did it say goat yeah does it actually no wait let me see what it says go back no i'm i'm open to being wrong here oh broth wait no it was that's yeah what spicy goat stew the second paragraph the beefy norteno analog to jalisco's famous spicy stew what so it's saying that the traditional birria is goat but this is the all i'm saying i know what the guy told that's not saying it's goat that's saying that's describing what birria is at the top i'm i'm not i'm just saying like the la times is obviously gonna say what they what the person tells them they're not gonna like go and induce they're not this isn't like an expose like they're

obviously gonna say it's them being like it's beef doesn't mean that it's yeah anything different than the restaurant saying it's beef. All I know, the guy fucking told me it was goat. The worker? Yes. I was like, is this goat? And he said yes. Okay.

What if you were saying it's good? I didn't say that. I said eat this goat. That sounds nothing like that. I said, is this goat? And he said yes. And then I never ate there again. It's also like,

I don't think there's anything wrong with eating goat. i'm just saying if you order beef and they give you a different thing than that i think that's like morally pretty fucked up i i agree that that would be fucked up oh you don't believe me no i just said that i don't believe it yeah that's frustrating for me because i heard the guy told me that i said is this i mean i feel like i know what beef tastes like and i eat it all the time it's beef i eat beef all the time that's the only place in the world where it doesn't taste like beef maybe it's the stew that they stew it in it doesn't taste like beef i mean there's like sauces it that is the only place in the world where i've never been less

convinced that i'm eating what they are telling me it's also like that i mean it's impossible for me to taste it the same way anymore interesting like i always was like this tastes weird but i like the experience that's my favorite taco spot same i i if you live in la you should not go there because they lie to you they say it's beef and it's goat okay what if people like goat then you should go okay if you like goat goat basically dog though so that's goat not basically dog goat goat basically sheep goat yeah do not eat lamb or sheep either why goat way goat sheep way too low why don't eat lamb i don't know they're it's way too like i feel like they're they're like they're like a cow is like you know big enough and it like makes sense a cow's big enough that it's fine totally

it's because they could take the meat off without killing it yeah was that your idea to like take that was dwight trude take like hamburger size to meat out of it without killing it yeah um should we talk about something else no i want to keep talking about this i i mean i i like you i don't want to invalidate your experience it's just it wasn't an experience it was just what happened that's like that is an experience no but you're making it seem like that's like how i how i experienced it i'm saying that i said is this goat yeah the guy said yes and he wasn't like he didn't i wasn't trying to i was saying that's your experience like i'm not trying to like i'm i believe that that is what happened i just it's there's a wealth of evidence suggesting

it's beef so it's kind of hard to wait the evidence is again just it's the same as reading the menu i think i'm starting to believe you there's no there's literally no evidence other than them saying it wait wait there's one there's only one of us here who literally has like real evidence which is the guy who worked there goes yep it's goat okay yep it's goat is this goat yes that is that is that is what that was how the interaction and then i threw it out and i walked out i'll never ever eat it again i never will did you throw it away in front of him yes i said is this goat and he said yes i threw it in the trash and then walked out that dude if he said yeah for that okay just not not i'm not what that's just a terrible visual that i'm i'm also i'm not like

making this a possibility this is what i'm like this like anti anti goat thing it's like if you were eating it regularly you must have liked it i probably had it we lived together i probably had it five times then it was just a taco place that was there and i didn't have a ton of money okay um if it was what you said which is not like if he thought i said is it good that would be the funniest thing of all time is this good yeah fuck you threw it in the trash that was like actually the most mad i've been in a while is this goat yep all right maybe um we should stop i think i need to go there go ask i think you should wear a goat or you should wear like a goat shirt no wear like a gopro shot like something discreet i might actually go i'll i'll well no but it has

to be one of us why because you you're not years ago yeah yeah like we need to believe it yeah you guys should go and ask is this goat next time i get teddies but also like who know like i i think maybe i just caught the one guy who was like down to say it i can't imagine all the employees are gonna be like yeah you think it's like an active conspiracy to mask what meat it is why would they do that i don't know it is more expensive than beef i don't know oh i know i don't know that for a fact actually but i'm assuming lauren google what's more expensive goat or beef meat um mutton it's mutton good luck at finding mutton at most places in the usa beef is i don't even know what money is that's that can't be the same thing that's i think it's

lamb actually mutton chops why is goat meat more expensive than that's kenyatalk.com that doesn't feel like relevant okay oh i was reading the one about do you guys want to hear something crazy yeah i'm pivoting so wait wait we haven't figured oh my gosh i'm gonna like explode if we keep talking why is this so brutal does anyone actually care about i think this conversation is go to i i i don't think that this is on interest i think that's if that's true that is why don't i call teddies right now yeah they're not open oh true are they not no they're all they are oh okay call the one in la live in an angle would venice or the venice one because i want to i think it's the venice one yeah call the venice one inglewood i'm calling inglewood i'm just

kidding i'm pranking you i hate this place so fucking 310 if you live in los angeles do not go to this place they're lying to you or the one i guess there's one employee that's not lying hi i had a question is your meat is it beef or goat uh it's beef okay thank you okay yeah you too she's lying that's the laugh i was talking about that's the one that i don't think is real but that that laugh that's like his signature laugh that's what i mean i don't know but that's insane what the work the worker picked up the phone and kept up the lie i don't think that that says anything it's like you're like deep in this

conspiracy now that's what i was gonna say i just i know what i i know what the guy fucking told me and i know what i taste it it's not i mean i've i've had more beef than anyone in the world i don't think anyone's even more beef than me and i that's the one time i've had it and been like this doesn't taste like beef go if you live in los angeles area go to the venice no no i'm saying go to the venice teddy's red tacos get a taco and look at me send me a video straight face saying this tastes like beef you can't do it i had it two weeks ago it doesn't taste like beef it tastes like beef you've had it had it a million times absolutely not i think i really think there's a chance that you said that that guy said is this good and this has ruined your last three

years no it didn't ruin it i i didn't i didn't like love this place i did not love this place i actually kind of on the contrary it was just closer than most places okay i think there's nothing else i can do can we get like a forensic scientist or a dna guy to like we'll take it we'll bring a piece home and like see its code absolutely if anyone is good with like genomes or whatever the fuck that is is that what that is uh i don't know if anyone can do like dna testing and can distinguish whether this is goat meat or beef meat cow meat i would i'll i'll you can come on the bus or now okay now the question arises is what is their incentive to lie about this if it's more expensive i think it maybe it tastes like

more traditional birria but like it's like a scape or not a scapegoat it's like a it's like a backdoor way to get people who are like scared of goat to eat it and get the most traditional beer experience do you know what I mean so it's like they're on like a cultural mission no no I think like

I would probably like goat if I tried it I just will never do it well you had it a bunch apparently yeah that's true and it was okay but you can't tell me there's something there's not something a little bit off about Teddy's Red Tacos I've never felt that way

All right, let's move on. But if anyone's out there, go to the Venice Teddy's Red Tacos and tell me. It's called Amigos now for some reason. Yeah, because they had to fucking, they had to go in hiding. They had to change it from Teddy's to Amigos? Yeah. I fucking hate that place. All right, so that was the longest conversation we've ever had.

Good. I hated that place. I actually hope it goes out of business. Dude. If they serve me a thing that's not what they said it was. It's not goat. It's me. The guy told me.

Okay, I mean, it's literally just my word against yours. but like the guy looked i go is this evidence we heard the phone call that's not evidence that's the person that's just a person lying to your face i literally looked at the guy and i go is this what if he was lying this conversation is revealing to me that neither of you can be wrong i don't know if that's true i think it's true we were wrong well i'm right this time no i think i think neither of you want to be wrong in this situation i think why would i ever want to be wrong about something that i'm this passionate about when when do you ever want to be wrong you never wake up and be like i hope i'm wrong no i just think about something like this i think

is so funny i think this is i think this is a bigger deal i think if it happened to you you would be just as mad as me if it was like what's didn't happen to you oh okay no no if it was if they were like it's beef and then you went up and you were like this tastes like fish and you don't eat seafood which you don't and you went up and you were like is this fish and the guy was like yes you would be mad at him uh i sure what do you mean sure yes you would be mad yeah wouldn't you yeah i mean i sure yes yeah so that's how i feel but way worse because i like hate it more than you hate fish okay goat like dog go like go i would rather have the guy tell me it's dog yeah but that might actually make sense because that would probably be cheaper to

get what were we talking about but like an hour ago before you had another thing you wanted to tell us all you can eat tacos yeah so i only got four tacos over the course of two hours that's crazy do you guys feel better yeah no well also like why do you only have beef there should be a chicken off like i well because all their menu items kind of have the same ingredients so they just like make one big batch of all literally i think that's oh i thought you're doing you just have like a one goat in the back in the kitchen that they're just like slicing off like sides of it oh my god did i ever tell you when we were here at rollins how long did we talk about that more is that like a half hour probably 15 at least 15 minutes all right we're back uh we're back

we're keeping all that in no i know i'm saying like i'm saying like all right so we're back to our schedule program did i ever tell you when i was at ron's this is like maybe this will give you some insight into like my distrust for the food service industry okay we were at i don't even want to name it because i know the person that owns it and i haven't we haven't asked them about this we were at a place in winter park a restaurant and it's kind of like a grab and go situation not a lot of people sit down in there and my friend seamus had to go to the bathroom i believe it was seamus someone had to go to the bathroom and they went in the wrong door and they opened the door and there were crates of live chickens like in this dark dimly lit room

and he just closed it went to the bathroom and like told us about it and we just never did anything about it but like that's that's bizarre right there's no way that's legal yeah yeah like what would you even be doing with them they had one they had one type of pizza that had chicken on it they were alive going like yeah is that insane could you not hear the i never heard it i never even saw it shamus just saw it and you're positive he wasn't lying i mean it would be like a weird thing he came out and was like you're not gonna believe this but no one went to check no he like went in like an employee's home like it was like it was a miracle that he even yeah accidentally got to that yeah that's very that's very bizarre yeah i just think restaurants

restaurants are seedier can be seedier than you'd think um sure do you guys want to hear a disgusting story from when i was a server yes is it gonna make me like not want to eat out anymore no no it's it was just specific specific to this restaurant i worked at and the management and just like how messy it was where it is it like gross for the customer for the customer oh i don't know if i want to hear it but wait on me it's i'll make it brief basically i worked at a breakfast spot and breakfast i love it's my favorite meal of the day will will's will will's off to a good start in this one he likes it so obviously if you're a server whatever you know that you're when you're back in the kitchen you have to run food so you like get on the line and you kind of

put on like the little fixings that are like you'll you'll grab the food off the window and then kind of add other things to it you look it's not like this isn't like a scary thing this might i might never eat breakfast again okay well do you eat what's the what's the breakfast with the gravy what's that one called biscuits and gravy what biscuits and gravy how do you know that part what's the breakfast with the gravy biscuits okay so when we would grab the plates off the window uh it would be like the biscuits and then the eggs and then we would have to put the gravy like drizzle the gravy on and then take it out to the customers um i'm bringing my plates out bringing my plates out to my customers they got biscuits and gravy and there was a plastic glove

in the gravy because when someone was like preparing it in the morning one accidentally like fell in so i served them a plate of biscuits and gravy and there was like uh you know like the medical grade like just like those gloves they're disposable it gets so sweaty on the inside too there was a glove well it probably wasn't used it probably just flew out of the thing right could have been you yeah either yeah i guess it would have been it's way more likely grabbed like three on accident one fell yeah but as i was putting it down i i was like i want to quit right now on the spot oh my god yeah but as it was like already touching the table they like saw it and i was like i have no words i have nothing to say to you this is the most embarrassing like

what they say they just were extremely disturbed i think we comped their whole meal i would just get up and leave there was a glove in my meal no it was like a sick now can we actually do this without the glove oh sorry that's my i didn't i didn't read the ingredients can we actually do no glove yeah oh i didn't even look i'm sorry yeah we trying to not eat glove did i tell you my grandmother what happened to my grandma at wendy's it didn't actually there's absolutely no way this happened but this is like what she claims happened she found a finger in her chili no does that happen to you that happened to like a lady oh okay story this i've never been more positive that that something has not happened in my life

this is what she claims have she only drinks canned coke now she won't drink fountain coke because she claims that one time her and her friend were at wendy's and they opened up their fountain drink and there was a live mouse in their cup and she thinks it came out of the we were just like that didn't happen that just didn't happen i guess it could have come out the ice hole but like ew the like if you've heard all of her other stories it's just like amongst another million crazy ones we were just like that just didn't happen where was that that is insane where was the fast food restaurant where people kept finding like razor blades in their meals What?

You never heard about this? I think that was like Halloween for like... I think that was Long John Silver. Really? No, I just didn't want to trash Taco Bell. Was it Taco Bell? Definitely not. Taco Bell's perfect.

Yeah, I know. Taco Bell is perfect. You know Taco Bell's grade D meat and dog food is F? Oh. Wait. Blade found in burger. If there was a razor blade in my burger... Burger King.

does not sound like a razor blade mishap it sounds like a there's a burger king customer bit into a burger and found a razor blade i would never eat out again i would only eat things i would only eat cereal and milk nestled between the cheese and the burger yeah that's a guy that's attempted murder there's an assassin that works at that burger king yeah he is do you just fart no you like i'm just asking yeah you just fart no you um yeah that burger came where was that lauren uh florida oh northern california mendocino county okay so willits willits california willits that was my company google lauren i made duct tape wallets really oh nice willits incorporated that's hilarious lauren can you go willits california murders and i guarantee you that

this burger king guy what is on like i guarantee that someone has gotten killed in willits california or around there the murder of carrie graham and francine tremble yeah this is the guy are you laughing teenagers well they never got caught just making or he never got caught right Dude, these could be somebody's grandparents. Don't be rude. No, they are dead forever. They could never be someone's grandparents. That's kind of a good point.

Unless, I mean... We're not speaking ill on these people. Oh, unless... They could have had a baby at age 14. A blabey. A blady. They could have had a blady. Can we get off of this?

I know, that was mean. That was mean. Love them. All I'm saying is there is a serial killer living quietly in Willits, California, and he didn't know how to murder anyone yet and he was like trying to dip his feet in the water he's like i'll just put a razor blade and soft burger yeah soft launch a burger and he's the burg murd how far do you think you launch a burger do i have access to like a home depot no just your hand oh can i keep in the wrapper no and the patty is how we measure distance so

it's just whatever wait wait can it be whatever ingredient goes furthest no it's patty so why would i just take everything you have to throw the whole thing okay i think can i throw like a frisbee or throw it overhead whatever you want i think i could throw a burger 20 yards i think i could throw it 21 you just got owned in this what would you do to make sure the bird in that meat off that burger off what would you do to make sure the patty goes the furthest i would cup kind of get my middle finger around it like this and throw it sidearm so everything else to go flying in the paddy we just i think i would get a touch should we try it yeah should we do a burger freak off yeah i think that i would go shot put yeah to try and keep it

all together all right if you guys want comment and we'll do a burger freak off live well that's not gonna be a burger freak off it's gonna be who can throw a burger further all right if you guys want to see the burger freak off comment burger freak off do you ever see those the you know the a new untold story pod yeah yeah those guys got an argument about like how far they could throw jeans i watched like a 20 minute video of them throwing of them doing a jeans throwing competition it's like seems harder than you'd think yeah it does seem because i think you only got they only gave you three folds okay is it against a lot of throwaway ripped jeans all right we'll comment burger freak off if we get enough people that comment burger freak off we will do

it live on instagram where should we do it on the pier on the pier would be good on the pier yeah there's so much there's like a lot of space line up like on the boardwalk or on the million people that we get hit with our burger well we can like rent out the beach we can rent out the boardwalk why don't we just use any other part of public land because then we'll attract more people more attention let's do it on the beach that's a better idea than i still think we could just do like we're not eating it the loser has to eat everyone the loser has to do the burger freak off no absolutely not there's no burger freaking off we're gonna go to a park and we're not going to the beach we're not going to the pier let's just go to a park where there's no one

and throw our burgers what what park there's one right there's a fucking million park there's one like right up there it's actually really nice there's gonna be like piss all over the grass and stuff you're not eating the burger after no one's eating the burger why do you care what happens to the burger no one's eating it we're just gonna throw it out the loser has to eat them something's so funny about just like there's probably gonna be like piss all over and on the pier there wouldn't the pier is like is a homeless made of the capital for homeless it's made of piss and shit the beach is also the dirtiest place in the world i didn't she was anti-beach because they would get sand on the burgers i just want to eat that clearly he wants

to eat these burgers after we do the free ones like all right whoever whoever loses has to feed them to me the burger all right i actually i think last time when we had people spam adam sandler it like helped the video a lot because it was like it was it got to 10 or 11 000 like way quicker than normal all right comment burger freak off spam burger but no don't spit don't spam it because this is a real if you don't want us to do it don't comment it okay but i'm saying if you want it yeah we're gonna do this if there are more if there are more comments that say burger freak off we will do it but if there are more comments that say something else about the video we won't do it and if we do it it'll be live on instagram yeah we're gonna go live on instagram for the burger

freak off first annual will and rusty's burger freak off i think this could be big i like this can we put toothpicks through it like absolutely not wait like you know when you're at a restaurant like okay wait how about this we have to go or we can order it from wherever we want like you could you out you can okay so it's kind of like a research thing like we can go all over la and try and find like the most aerodynamic burger deal but you have to keep all the ingredients on it you can't touch it comes the exact you yeah it you get it to go and however they come however they give it to you you unwrap it and you throw it like that you can't make you have to leave everything on there i think if you want you could what no i'm saying if that's what i'm saying

that might be part of the strategies you find a place who when it comes to you it already has a toothpick oh that's dumb why because that's just that's just like no integrity to the game i think it's got we just made up the game 30 seconds ago but i don't want it to no but that's like part of That's like you have to find these little hacks. Then it's more about finding a burger with the most structural integrity than it is about the actual freak-off. I feel like you're losing sight. It's supposed to be us freaking it off. I don't think I'm losing sight of it at all.

I think we should get two burgers from the same place and see who can freak it off the furthest. Okay, can we also get two more to eat? Yeah. Let's go to heavy-handed. I've never had it. Me neither. You haven't either? Everyone says it gives In-N-Out a run for its money.

I don't really love burgers. In-N-Out's the best burger in LA I refuse to admit anything else Until I try it Until I'm proven wrong Until I'm proven wrong Have you had the window? Yeah

Oh actually the window is like They're different They're different Yeah I like the I don't really love burger But I like the window one The

The only thing that I love about In-N-Out Or the thing I love most about In-N-Out Is that Every time you go It's actually pretty smart Every time you go It has to be Like an experience

because you can't postmates it yeah you have to you have you have to go there you have to get the hat and then you you have to freak it off burger freak oh but i like go i get it and i park and i listen to a podcast and it's kind of like a thing yeah it was like what chick-fil-a used to be to me in college because i didn't have postmates that's a lie at postmates but i would go i would go to i would go to chick-fil-a chick-fil-a i knew a guy he would order a spicy chicken sandwich he would order mac and cheese and he would order buffalo sauce and he would put the he would take the uh the patty off the bun put it back in the bag dump buffalo sauce in there shake it up so it's like double spicy take it out put it back on the burger put a little on the patty put the

mac and cheese on top put it back on wait you keep saying patty are we talking about chick-fil-a that just threw me off i started thinking about burgers yeah like a chicken patty oh yeah or the filet chick-fil-a they're mac and cheese under sorry they're mac and cheese underrated yeah they're filming a big blockbuster movie on my street or i don't know what it is but they have it seems like a big operation but now every time i go home to and from i have to be like i live here can i walk through because it's like all blocked off i would just be like like i'm trying to tell you to not go down your street right here wise well no they've been like oh yeah that's annoying though i don't know i think it's kind of cool it's like big like what

it's like when that's there used to be a sorry what were you gonna say what if i'm the star of the bach blaster you're not you just told them you live there the bach what if they maybe are getting b-roll of me y'all i gotta talk about mud water real quick you know the mushroom stuff there's a lot of talk about mushrooms out here in the southern california and i didn't totally get it until i got mud water all right i put a little bit of this in some hot water in the morning make myself a little beverage you know to start the day and it has uh changed the game It cuts through brain fog without giving you like the jitters that caffeine kind of do sometimes. It's kind of a substitute for my morning coffee that just, yeah, it just gets me going in a way that feels, you know, healthy, conducive to creativity and just gets away that grogginess that sometimes I feel waking up.

Yeah, I like to describe it less as energized in the traditional sense and more just like stoked, ready to take on the day, no longer kind of like – you know when you're halfway to work and you're like, this is the first time I've been even somewhat aware of what's happening? Yep. Cuts straight to that where you're like, I'm here, I'm ready, and I'm here to take on the day. I'm present, I'm grounded. It's got all sorts of good stuff in there. We're talking cacao, lion's mane, cordyceps, chaga, reishi, cinnamon, turmeric, Himalayan salt. And I know what all of those things are. This stuff is freaking legit.

They got a matcha starter kit. Must try. Turmeric starter kit. Banging. Also must try. Rest starter kit will help you on your journey to better relaxation. And, yeah, can't say enough good stuff about this. Try out Mudwater, guys.

It's available at Target and Sprouts locations across the U.S., so it's never been easier to grab a cup of this friendly pick-me-up. Ready to make the switch to cleaner energy? Head to MudWater.com and grab your starter kit today. Right now, our listeners get an exclusive deal up to 43% off your entire order, plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use code PLAYDAY. That's right, up to 43% off with code PLAYDAY at M-U-D-W-T-R.com. After your purchase, they'll ask how you found them.

please support our show and let them know that we sent you keep your energy natural and refreshing all year long with mud water because life's too short for anything less than clean delicious energy do you know the beach to beacon in maine uh cape elizabeth no it's like a 6k 6k or something right no look it up it's like a weird number i think the beach to beacon 10k we got it pretty pretty standard stuff 6k would be really funny but the beach to beacon your whole fucking they just shut down our town yeah for this fucking race and it was so annoying because it was just like i didn't agree you know what i mean like just because you guys want to fucking run here i think it's a great thing we're doing for the community it was just a it was like wherever

you were when they started you just had to stay there for 10 hours yeah because it was like there were people that would come from like kenya that would run it in four minutes and then there were guys that took the entire afternoon and the whole course was blocked off until they were done well that's dude at bc the boston marathon goes right through our campus yep and so they like shut down com av starting at like six in the morning or five in the morning and so the whole thing is like you can't you have to decide which side you want to be on before five or six a.m so you and your friends all have to coordinate and like the move used to be everyone go off campus so you'd everyone have to cross and then before like 5 a.m so then everyone just starts drinking it six in the

morning fantastic but there was one year uh we were trying to get back over and like hammered and called an uber to like our dorm which is on the other side of the street which made no sense but we were just drunk and so this poor like uber driver just takes takes us down like every street is like ah can't get through goes does it again ah can't get through it's like a 26 mile long thing and eventually it's just like i'm sorry and just let us out yeah and uh but then bc was they're trying to get everyone to come back and stay on campus so they started having like a list artists do or like b list artists do concerts at 10 a.m yes yeah whiz galitha very close it was flo rida jason derulo but they would do these 10 a.m shows those like if you want to come to the

show you have to stay on this side because the cops would always get called to the other side of campus yeah i think that the whole very funny dynamic though we need to we need to figure out a way to do marathons better or races better because it's just it's a fucking drain on society for the people that don't care about it i've never cared about it except for in like my sister's running the new york one this year yeah but like that's gotta be just wildly inconvenient for 99 of new yorkers yeah but it's you know it's on the weekend and i think it's like a fun thing to go cheer on i don't know i just plus new york has like public transit so it's not as yeah i just was i the the the beach to beacon really pull up the beach to beacon route

it's just it just is the whole cuts the fucking town in half yeah look at this so if you were if you were yeah that first one or that second one go to that so my house was right on the line of that so just you just couldn't go to anyone who lived on the other side yeah you couldn't really like it's like that's a pretty main road that's the main road through town so like all the things that you would want to do were on that road and you just had to be like oh i guess i just can't do anything today yeah we used to have to run i hate them the marathon route to get to the bar that we wanted to go to like my i was waiting for my cousin and then when she came to where bc was i hopped in i just like jumped the fence and was running with

her yeah like pretending like i was like you'd have to kind of like act like you belong there Even though we were all in ridiculous outfits And I ran with her for a mile Wait, you can get in the thing? Yeah, I mean, you're not supposed to Especially like Boston, the security is pretty strict But like, I don't know I just kept being like, it's my cousin

And I jumped and I ran a mile And then jumped over again And went right to the bar It was the only way to get to the bar Because the route was all blocked Boston had a weird thing I was trying to meet Alex Grade at uh a bar in boston one time and the guy wouldn't let me cross a road for some reason

but i can't remember what what it was the it was like like pretty late at night who wouldn't let you the cops were like had like some like block something off oh you know what it was the it was the finals oh and they were worried that they weren't letting any more people into this part of town because they were like if the celtics win it'll get out of control it'll go nuts that it's kind of crazy should we road map it up yeah rks commented they did surprise yeah that's sick i know what they say they said thanks for the shout wait that's so sick i know love that i am i have mac and cheese are you gonna respond yes i'd love you oh i have mac cheese in the fridge laura i was just telling you this and it actually is a little big so if

anyone wants a little bit i could probably probably spare some but i was thinking about this and i don't know why but i is there ever a part of you that like kind of wants to be oh lauren's doing something i was asking you a question you were i'm listening i was i was pausing a song was playing on my phone i was pausing it there was a song playing on your i have no idea song playing on my phone tonight yeah keep going uh is there ever a part of a small part of you that like kind of wants to be like wronged sometimes so you can like go yell at someone sure yeah yeah isn't that weird you're like yeah i was thinking like oh if if my mac and cheese isn't there when i go to get it like there's gonna be hell to pay and then i was like

i kind of want for some reason like there is a small part of me that's like it would be nice to find out who did something wrong to you and then you could just go like berate them i actually the i was the movie set on my street i was like when i walked up and i was like hey i live on the street i was like kind of wanted them to be like you can't come through here and then i was gonna be like i'd pay rent on this street what was i had one this i had one like recently that I don't know.

There is it's weird. It's like a it's like a fetish. I'm like can I have a can I have one as well? Yeah what flavor would you like? Dave Tropical.

No we got red and orange. We gotta start keeping them in the fridge again. Can I have red? Red. But then they get all sticky. Stinky. Oh they are kind of sticky.

No these aren't sticky. No. The fridge ones are. I mean maybe that one's sticky. I don't know. but i don't think these ones shouldn't be sticky i think i hate sheep so much because i am one these are holding something holding something that's currently not sticky and someone going or mishearing them and being like yeah you're right this is sticky it's just absolutely not

but feel it like can you feel maybe i could i could yeah yeah i kind of know what you mean yeah that's funny though that is funny this is sticky no it's not your face when i was like oh not these ones you're like you knew immediately you had fucked up you're like just lying yeah it is sticky or i think yours is sticky and i am jealous that mine's not so i'm like yeah mine's so stinky right yeah mine reeks sticky we said sticky right yeah right so tacky sticky we should roadmap it up okay roadmap we were doing the sticky stinky sticky we're doing the sticky dance Do the sticky dance Do the sticky dance

Shake your ass Do the sticky dance Do the sticky dance Shake your ass Ass Sitting on the pod Some guy comes up to you at a bar He goes

What did you just say? What did you just say again? Sitting on the pod Spitting on the podcast Definitely the thing before that Shorty you can No If that thing look like your mom ass

What? So you can come over If that thing look like your mom ass Dude it's music You can't It's not admissible in court Yeah What?

If a guy came up to you and told you to do this stinky, what is it, a stinky, sticky ass dance, what would you say? Oh, I don't know. A lot of the times things come out of my mouth, I'm not positive. Yeah. All right, this is my impression of someone on Jeopardy when it's in between the first two rounds. Okay, ready? On both Ken Jennings and the contestant. Okay.

So, Michael, let me get this right. you once almost missed your flight it's like yeah yeah ken i was a little late to the airport and i thought my my flight was gonna take off without me so there i am i'm rushing through security and finally make it through and the lady says we were about to close the gate you're the last one to board and oh my god that is insane all right uh we're gonna get into the next round yeah i guess it's the most boring fucking shit every time they got the worst facts i think you need to realize you can't these guys are such dorks that they like have they've never i don't i mean i don't mean that in a in like a mean way like if you're gonna be that smart you don't have

time to like live an interesting life i think that is probably why they're all so boring yeah i guess you're right you just do they are just they know everything william they don't once took a bite of chicken that was a little tough yeah ken i did i bit right in and on the first time it there was a little resistance and but i persevered right through and my wife was telling me to spit it out but i stuck it out ken well you know always listen to your wife all right let's get in this next round now in our categories tonight jonas or jagger which boy band said this and you're like why would that ever be a fucking category yeah i just think the question the the those things are the funniest well i think they maybe they asked him like right before my buddy went on he told

me like they have to like submit like a million of them and then the producers pick like all right this is the one that we're gonna use why wouldn't you just i don't know i feel like like if you if you go on like kimmel or something they also ask you like they're like do you have any interesting stories like yeah i feel like you and i have a million but i just don't have any off the top like i wouldn't it would be impossible for me to yeah well isolate like the one oh i would probably do the uh i would probably either do the the la king's one where i was like holding the president's beer oh yeah it was like who are you guys protecting and then it was his whatever well i think the beef goat debate would do well on late night tv maybe we could jimmy kimball if

you're listening jimmy any of the jimmies we will come on your show and we will go just fucking ape shit on each other about beef and goat for 30 minutes for free i'm the goat of heaven if you send a car we will come and do it uh all right should we road map it up that's looking at you guillermo i know you listen uh yeah that's where i'm at it up i forgot about guillermo um my dad's trying to buy you know i'm getting a new car and i was trying to he over he has like a rents out some storage space to people this guy was keeping a jeep there and then died and he's trying to get me to buy it and i was like it's literally the exact same car that i had but older and i was like have we not learned yeah um have we not learned it's a dead guy car

so it's cursed it's a dead guy car so cursed dgc all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches then we're gonna do lauren say it with me am i the asshole can i say something really quick we don't use that we don't say that like that because that's taking the fun away from teach me something am i oh fuck i just shit my pants you know what i'm saying like we go teach me something but now because now you're going am i like i think we need to just leave that on its own it's throwing it's throwing me off shit your pants okay uh no you're right no you're right but like don't sorry when you were just don't rip wrote me just really drunk don't rope me into that wait why don't rub you into it like

i don't want to say it like that i don't want to hear about like ropes like anyone like i'm shooting shooting ropes lauren that's disgusting huge like spider-man ropes and then after am i the asshole we are gonna do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard there's rock smart did you hear i did that in double time for you lauren what is on your phone it's not just for me what is on my phone i'm are you sad i'm not i'm preparing the pitches can you guys not fight in front of me well it's like i don't know why you're saying that i'm not i'm just curious i'm doing my job and i'll be been on the whole podcast i want that's not worried about it it's

literally not true and then we're gonna do everyone's favorite segment teach me something and then willie and i are gonna do wrestling moves that don't exist and then an idea we got from uh nabir blog or nabir blog i don't know if it's if his name is nabir or if it's he's a blogger who likes nabir but he did this thing where he just did facts about the titanic that he made up yeah and we thought that was fun and silly so we're gonna do facts about ancient greece that we made up all credit to na beer blog or nabir blog thank you for either one the wonderful idea and then we are gonna do we're gonna wrap up with rusty's song of the day lauren those those those your uh throw us your pitch give me a meatball first pitch is from

rainier rainier mountain mount rainier it's like what's the worst part about being 14 000 hey rick morty and summer morty summer rick what's the worst part about having a local diner that you go to all the time oh uh there are posers that try and go there and steal your fucking table and then you're like i've earned the right to not have to wait 45 just because this place rocks doesn't mean that posers get to come eat here i'm the only person that you should be able to eat here yeah that's actually perfect um that's on mama they say people who aren't locals there don't realize that you're actually a staple of that establishment and frequent the place way more than you that was fucking crazy i know it's that's why i said

you nailed it introducing i guess there is only one that like that is the worst part about diners but it is shocking think of it yeah it is shocking that that is this guy what is his name rainier i don't know if this is a guy this person rocks whoever this is gets me and i'd like to meet you for breakfast at millie's cafe in silver lake if you're ever in town love that introducing the breakfast breakfast cub once you're recognized as a frequent customer you'll be given the opportunity to rent a cubby like they had in kindergarten where you can keep a few items that will give you more personal experience next time you go to that diner do you like to read a book while you eat do you have a favorite mug that you want to use at this diner maybe you want to have a blanket

around you as you eat your pancakes you can you can keep all of these in your reserved cubby and when you're done just put your items back and you can look forward to using it the next time you're there not only is it convenient and can make the experience feel more like home but it lets everyone else around you know that you have status at that diner i feel like rusty would love to be recognized for diner loyalty and this would definitely keep me going back to try to earn a cubby love the party guys i think they get you this person gets me is this person me is this person is it me did i text you this hammer they used to be they used to be me yeah the artist formerly known as rusty yeah the here's what i love about this it you could keep stuff there like a sudoku book

or something for if you had to wait you walk in you just grab your things and they're like they're like will great to see you you're like hey everyone how you doing maybe maybe maybe they put the paper that day's paper in there for you yeah maybe you could put a little syrup in there each time and see how old it gets see how sticky it gets yeah okay i also like the mug thing lauren there's a bar in portland called three dollar dewey's hell of a name for a bar yep and they have mugs for their people that are like in the mug club yeah yeah and like beers are cheaper and They had an Iron Hill, too. It has your stickers on it.

It's just a cool move. It keeps people coming back. I don't think it's crazy expensive to get in the mug club. No, my dad, yeah, there's a brewery in Lancaster. My dad used to, him and all his buddies were in the mug club. And they're getting a new mug every year. Are they hung up there for you? I think you would bring your own, and then you got like a discount on beer if you brought it.

That's, well, the thing I loved about Dewey, can you pull up, Lauren, can you pull up $3 Dewey's? Can you pull up 100 guys looking at one ant? just go go go to images the mugs are let's see if you can see them look up like three dollar dewey's mugs wait go zoom in lauren in the back google ant who can vote one second just bear with me see how the mugs are hung up on the ceiling on those hooks those are glasses No. Oh, those are wine glasses. Oh, on the other side.

That's not the right bar. I got that guy. That guy just staring at the camera. No. That is the most mean guy of all time. He's mean mugging. No pun intended. That guy currently.

No, he looks so kind. I didn't say he was unkind. I said he was the most mean guy of all time. She thought you said mean, I think. He is. And him being kind is very mean of him. But yeah, they hang up your mugs on the ceiling. That's fine.

And you can come in and grab it. for $3 mug club just humor me or okay part of the mug club everybody's 50 bucks for you but yeah those are the white mugs shout out $3 best bar best bar in town i love that yeah this pitch is awesome and i think it would be excellent to incorporate into more places okay thank you rainier next pitch is from thomas norgaard he says i know who that is he has he's a very familiar name i think he's been around for a minute he's a skier so he says hey he is the little emojis uh hey frog fox and cat frog fox i want to be fox okay i don't think i'm cat but i could be cat i think that makes the most sense i think i think he probably thinks i'm frog wills

fox and you're a cat oh that's fair okay watch this very bad how about now could not have been a worse frog impression yeah that actually was what about my rattlesnake impression my dad used you say well what does a rattlesnake say and i would go okay you were good at so many things animal impressions is not those are both really bad what about coral all right he's back that was uh that was that like a prepared joke did you like do those first two to like get us no but do you ever play that what was that ellen degeneres game heads up yeah uh that was we used to do the animals one there's an all-time video of me and scott like deathly hungover in college and you know how like film you ever do like it i don't i've never really

played okay like when you're like if you're the guy with the thing on your head the camera's filming the person so it's me and i do yeah anyway you coral yeah and my brother did coral one time and i thought it was funny that i did it and it's in this all-time video i have get it yeah he was well no he didn't but he was like it was coral and then it became like a running joke anyway so there was sorry lord continue i gotta find that video actually okay thomas says have you ever been in a place that smelled so awesome that you wish you could bottle that smell up and wear it as a scent with bottled aura you can suck up the smell from everywhere your favorite pizza place the pirates of the caribbean line at disneyland and so on with the new patent-pended

aura stick you simply suck up the air around you for a few minutes which is then sorting cotton balls inside the stick and compact it to strengthen the scent afterwards you simply dab yourself with the cotton balls and voila you now smell like a million bucks literally if you want to yeah i would do that i'd be walking around smelling like skyline chili oh lord that is so that's such a good idea because there are some things that like should be perfumes is this possible what is this like maybe possible i think you'd have to get to the source yeah of what's causing that smell but But, like, doesn't Rainforest Cafe kind of smell good, or am I tripping? I haven't been there in a year.

I was there once, but I don't remember. Like, when you're walking through, like, Universal or Disneyland, they pump stuff in. So, in theory, there is stuff that you could put in, like, a diffuser. I don't know if I'd want to smell like the Pirates of the Caribbean line, though, because it smells really good. What's it smell like? It's impossible to describe. you'd recognize it i've never been oh what i've never done pirates

i don't know all right i like it though i'm in i love it it's fun i'd love it i would go to like i would go like deep into the forest though okay you know what i mean like real real tropical and they'd be like he smells like yeah he smells like the rainforest the woods yeah you see how this is gonna make me sound stupid I had absolutely no idea how big the Amazon is yeah it's huge

it is fucking I saw a satellite thing where it like slowly zooms out it is fucking ginormous I don't really know yeah there's parts of it we never even then do

go to like top view it's fucking gargantuan yeah oh my gosh like it's impossible like satellite image lawyer it is like impossible to even comprehend that's not even doing it justice yeah yeah no that's insane that's absolutely insane uh have you guys have you been to south america i feel

like you've been to south america willie willie's uh willie's border hopped without oh wait i've to paraguay twice yes right right yeah i thought so and then brazil and off the record brazil once off the record yeah i went once legally and then once yeah what was the title of that episode that one was pretty good we went rogue in brazil that was a good episode i think flan's brother went to brazil for or i think it was brazil went somewhere for spring break and i remember being talking to her being like that feels like a dangerous place to i just feel like that like bad stuff can happen down there if you're not careful you just gotta be smart yeah it was like when most of them was there i was in like a small village in rural

paraguay yeah and it was very safe but it was because we had like family friends that had grown up there and like are we the only country that like it's just like the cities can be dicey are we the only country that raises people like we can we can go out and go you can go fucking hog wild here and like nothing will happen i don't know that's like think about like if you didn't if you came to la and you didn't know like there's parts of downtown you wouldn't want to go to there's parts of new york you wouldn't want to go to like it's more just about like the cultural awareness like you don't but i mean like kid like you can come or i think it's we've we've gotten crazy drunk in all corners of this country and never want maybe we have been

in danger and like not known it but yeah i think it's i don't know i mean i think europe is like that too like there's a lot you can i've gotten crazy drunk in yeah i guess amsterdam was but like you wouldn't want to do that in certain parts of spain or italy or i think spain and italy are the same as here no like palermo and like sicily can get like fucking weird and there's parts of here that get weird totally i don't i i think i think it's more the scarier thing is just like the lack of cultural awareness like you don't know where are the places to maybe steer clear of or how to protect yourself like and the fact that you aren't from here makes you an easier target like yeah i don't think that but aren't there more like kidnappings and stuff

in those countries than here i don't know i actually firsthand heard a really gnarly story the guy who does my tattoos um he had a friend whose family got kidnapped by pirates they were like on the on the amazon river oh my god they'd like hide they had to cover themselves in mud for like two days while the pirates were trying to um find like thermal it was like some really insane story i mean it's just generally higher poverty rates lead to yeah more stuff like that and the u.s is the wealthiest country that's ever existed so yeah that is inevitably i guess true to some degree but did you know that we or maybe not like as a country us but like somalia is what it is or piracy is a thing they're kind of as a result of like big fishermen like like we would like

come like the fishing industry basically like oh came over there and we just camped out and it's impossible for them to compete with these like really high-tech fishing vessels yeah and so they were just like oh what that was our the backbone of our entire economy and so the guys who kind of how pirates came to be in like the 1700s it was like we only know how to be we only know how to make a living like on boats and this is what we have access to yeah and so we can't fish anymore so we're just gonna become pirates not making excuses for them i think i still think it's fucked up but i this is really kind of uh a little random but i have a buddy i have to tell the story i can't believe i forgot to tell it please i know someone i will protect their privacy

uh but i heard this they just told me the story that they were on a subway car in new york and really had to pee and so they were like going like this and the lady next went can you stop jacking it on the train and this poor poor guy goes oh i'm so sorry was his answer which he was like i realized immediately after that sounds like it was jacking and can you quit jacking it and he went oh i'm so sorry and got off at the next stop and then it was like oh my god they still think i was jacking it yeah new york is i thought that was all time yeah isn't that like you just if you live in new york long enough like someone's gonna jack it in front of you well yeah but this is like he wasn't he was no no i mean like like it's that's so commonplace that that's

like if i someone saw someone jacking off in bulk i'd be like oh and like try to get out of there no i had a there was a guy doing that i had a experience with a guy doing that on the l me and my friends this was like senior year of high school in chicago yeah we were taking the train somewhere downtown yeah he was like looking at my friend wasn't like completely obvious but like he had his hand like in his pants and was like clearly on something like looking at her and we were all just like what the fuck have you seen that guy this girl is like celebrating because she has the whole row to herself and she goes to film it and then there's just a guy in the on the other side of the aisle just like on an airplane oh you should be banned

from flying forever if you're doing that you should be in jr right yeah you get caught jacking off on an airplane you're never flying again yeah that's why i don't get caught all right uh edible fireworks pop rocks they shoot up and then everyone goes like ah trying to catch them it's like a way to make that 4th of july a little bit more fun okay is this coming is this 4th of july episode no is it close it's no this is next monday this is next wednesday this is next wednesday okay so it's like a week out a week and a half out 4th of july will be the following friday all right uh what is the worst part what's the worst part about hearing about how much money people made from like getting in early on like uber or stuff like that that you wish you'd done

you don't really care you just well you never had the you never had the opportunity to like that those those the people who made like crazy money on all these things it was presented to them in private because they are like a pe guy or they're like a celebrity whatever for the common man there should be a way to make a quick buck you are i present to you invest a party okay you're throwing a party you send it out to other normal guys they can get in on the ground floor and like invest in it invest in your party and then you know it's only for places where there'd be a cover at the door okay and then you know you you can get a kickback from that no pun intended okay so you it's basically like it's it's a way it's it's fronting this guy who doesn't have money to

to buy all the beer got it but in return you're gonna get you succeed you get some of the participate in the in the profits i like it i just think like the common man we don't have really any opportunity to like get that thrill yeah of making money off an investment outside of just like normal stocks so i think it would be cool to like make like a hundred bucks invest a party invest a party all right maybe there could be edible fireworks at the investor party i think there's a collab in the future also i can't uh hang out on saturday anymore i forgot my friend has a house cooling party he's leaving his house that's an awesome idea yeah they're moving out willie was like let's do the 999 challenge and then i was like yeah i'm in and then he just two

minutes later was like uh i actually don't know i think i might go to a game instead and i was like okay and then now you just can't i'm all over the place i don't know what to do more we don't need him we'll hang out without scott's out of town so i don't know what the fuck to do with myself i feel like both one of you is always out of town you know how we be jet setters uh j jettis all right lauren should we hear um whose asshole it is should we hear whose asshole it is yeah am i the asshole this is delaney hi delaney delaney says am i the actually i'm just gonna instead of asking the question first i'm just gonna read the story i feel like that's kind better so you don't get a spoil okay spoiler uh every year my company does a holiday bake-off

with the price texting our mom can you tip what was the spoiler holiday free i just it doesn't yeah in delaney says every year my company does a holiday bake-off with the prize of a hundred dollar gift card to amazon this was my second holiday season at this company but my first time participating in the bake-off so i really wanted to win before the bake-off i told all of the people in my department to vote for me because my boss had previously told me that sorry say that last sentence again uh before the big off i told all the people in my department to vote for me because my boss had previously told me that the big off is heavily a popularity contest and we weren't a very large department compared to the rest of the teams at my company when i got into work and put

my baked goods out i told my best friend at work to go rally up some votes from votes for me since she's pretty popular in the office i'm really competitive so i really wanted to win this the only or the way voting worked is that each person in the company got one vote but you didn't have to put your name on the slip so there's never be a point in the in a sentence where you go i'm i was losing track of the words you're so annoying the next word was name bro and i'm i'm sorry i'm sorry it was funny you were like you were like about that you looked up at a mountain mountain that you had to climb sorry my brain gets like scrambled with like i'm sorry that was mean it was just that was a hilarious thing to do while reading a sentence um i don't know how i'm

gonna pull this one off now i lost track so give me a second um the way voting worked is that each person in the company got one vote but you didn't have to put your name on the slip so it was pretty much totally anonymous without telling me my friend put two slips in there voting for me which is against the rules which i did not ask her to do i didn't know what to do i wanted to remove for extra vote but there was pretty much someone always standing by the bowl with all the submissions i didn't feel like i could rifle through all them without looking totally suspicious and making a scene so i left it i also didn't tell the person running the competition because i didn't want to be implicated implicated as a person who would potentially cheat in an office

bake-off because that is psychotic then when it was time to tally up the votes i walked over and asked the lady counting them who won she told me that me and one other person were tied but at the very last moment right before they closed voting someone walked by the table grabbed one of my cookies and said this is really good i would vote for that and then they counted that as the winning vote i've been racked with guilt because i feel like my victory was fake since my co-worker put in an extra vote for me even though i did not ask her to do that so my the asshole for not coming clean about what my co-worker did um also if you want to oh she said my phone number is blah blah if you want to call me about it i'll share the recipe if i get on the pod i think i don't know

we have time to do that you didn't ask her to do it yeah that's on your friend's conscience i think you should you baked the hell out of those cookies you should deserve that you should earn you should celebrate i agree i also think like as far as you know the person you tied with did the same thing did the fucking same thing and like it's a this is a dog eat dog world we live in sometimes if you want to get ahead you gotta there's nothing nothing wrong with nothing wrong with cheating a little bit you didn't you didn't hurt anybody your cookies are clearly good if the guy walked by bit one i'd vote for this maybe he that also implies maybe he didn't vote he was a lazy he's a lazy bones and so that counted as his vote so you would have tied

anyways tie goes to the runner yeah i'd say no there's you're not the asshole at all also you can't you're new at this job you don't want it you kind of want to fly under the radar for like at least the first couple months you can't be like hey guys i not only am i throwing my co-worker under the bus but i technically cheated at the company i hope it's like the ceo is a playmate and this yeah this sounds familiar no that you're totally fine yeah i not the asshole girlfriend there was a chili cook-off in our neighborhood growing up yeah at lounge grove at sarah cameron's house romantic banks kevin and my mom they would always have like a judge voting and then there was like people could buy tickets that counted as like a vote and then you would

put it in like the pot of the chili like the most and my mom would just unashamedly go and buy like a hundred tickets and put it in her own pot because like the money went to charity okay and then she so she would win the popular vote and then the judges she'd win like players choice yeah because it was like her granny murphy's like it was like skyline so it was like not really chili in the conventional sense was she like doing this as a joke or like no she wanted to win she's so no but i'm saying did she show the other people did the other people know that she was you're allowed to do it like it's not against like i misunderstood you she bought 20 she bought 100 tickets and just did it yeah it's like you can buy tickets the money goes to charity and

then you put them in the pots of like what you like the most so she just bought 100 tickets and put them in her own won the popular contest wait that's a great move because it's going to a good correct it's complete it's it's not this situation it's i would do the exact same yeah it was just funny because like her motivation was not charity it was that she wanted to win so bad that she was willing to ever win the judges one no because it was skyline chili and charleston like it wasn't people didn't know what they were working with yeah did it was anyone just like what is this yeah a lot of people were like what the hell is this i would i would scoop it i'd be like usually we serve this with spaghetti and cheese and they'd be like what the fuck are you

they don't put cheese on their chili down there no no but like spaghetti i guess the spaghetti is the jarring part um i liked when you brought yours in i would prefer to eat normal chili though yeah it's they're different things yeah you don't have like a cup of skyline yeah it would it's almost like you brought in it would be like bring someone bringing in like bolognese with no sauce yeah yeah with no other stuff and be like would do you like this yeah damn i've had silent in a minute that actually sounds really good i have some in my freezer like just the chili i don't know why he froze the pasta i don't know i have one bat my mom made a huge batch when she was in january and i have one thing of it left

my friend from cincinnati hallie actually uh something she always taught me she would do So she would take the little crackers and dip them in the sauce. Yeah, the oyster crackers. Yeah, I sprinkle them on top and just eat them, like, with it. She's going to be in L.A. this weekend. I'm excited. I haven't seen her in, like, years. Wow, chili sounds gas, right?

We used to do chili. I would crush up some, like, tortilla chips, and then I would put a shit ton of shredded cheese on the top. That's awesome. So good. My mom put a little bit of, like, syrup, I think, in it, because it had, like, or, like, just, like, a tiny, something sweet was in it, because it had, like, a little, she did that with her pasta sauce.

I love, like, that type of chili, too. Yum. um nta delaney yeah congratulations by the way even though we i would love the cookie recipe yeah i'm sorry we don't have time to call you but please send it anyway also i want our company to do something like that chili cook-off or just like some form of competition i probably would not win but it would be fun all right what do we have next this guy rocks i sent you mine this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard there's rocks in my yard you would be eating lauren

alive right now if she was doing what you're doing she literally is scrolling i'm trying to find it this guy rocks oh okay she uh you can't she did do that yeah you ate her alive yeah i just was flagging the hypocrisy thank you this is not this is the first time i've done it in 117 episodes if i do if i start doing this every episode then you can give me a little bit of shit i've got 117 episodes without going on my phone do you know about ander dingus i think i've seen this of course i know about ander do you actually this was like the biggest thing in the world six months ago really i just found it oh it's all you're gonna i'm glad i love it well what what are we looking at for our audio his name is ander dingus it's like it's also a candy salad

time it's a little kid in his class my name is andrew dingus and i got sour patch watermelon sour patch strawberries wait everyone knows about andrew dingus yeah i hope yeah you know about him lauren i don't remember his name specifically but i think i've seen a variation of this video fuck the willie there is a full video and this is like a special ed class and my thing is those kids have it's hard enough to grow up with special needs in america kids are cruel why would you ever name your kid ander dingus and make it way worse he can't be ander dingus he literally says my name must be like andrew dingus that's equally bad wait wait let me they don't name him let me play it

again wait i want to hear him say it my name is andrew dingus andrew dingus no andrew dingus no it's andrew dingus not andrew dingus you think his name is andrew andrew dingus real name his name is zander zander dingus probably wait uh maybe you mean zander dingus is arguably Dingus is a crazy last name. My name is Xander Dingus. Xander Dingus?

Go again. My name is Xander Dingus and I got It's impossible to get to the volume. I think it's Xander Dingus. That's still Wait, I'm going to play it from my phone and then it'll be really crisp.

Into the mic so they can hear. Also, people are saying they're really hard to see are this guy my name is andrew dingus my name is andrew dingus i love andrew dingus my name is andrew dingus um one moment here bro does not have somebody came unprepared yeah okay the for the first time ever okay my name is andrew dingus this is one of my favorite videos of all time and it came back across my desk uh the other day this is probably this is one of my favorite videos of all time it makes me laugh it makes me laugh every time i see it all right pause it it says oh yes you've

said this to me 13 times it's so funny goodwill hunting but they're both dumb what are you doing for your birthday it's just another year no it's not no 21 is a big year what are you doing something special something special you know probably just go down get my union card find a woman who hates me and put a ring on her finger you know that's real fucking smart yeah do the same thing the rest of us do when you're a genius come on get out of here with that man you know i'm not gonna get out of here i'm not gonna get out you remember that puzzle you solved with the sailboats? How many pieces was that?

It was 500. It was the Mayflower. I don't even know what the Mayflower is. You know history, too. You don't belong with us. How long did it take you to complete it? Two weeks. You belong in the fucking CIA. Solving puzzles like that. You don't get to say that to me.

Maybe I do. You don't get to roll my life. Maybe I do. Maybe I'm supposed to have a shovel in my hand. God put a shovel in my hand, not yours. It pisses me off you living this life. Not you, too. It's not your fault.

It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Come here. I also like that they, like, mix. Like, they mix two scenes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those scenes don't go together.

That's great. Have they done other ones like this? I probably have just sent it to you every time it's come out. I feel like I've seen one where it's, like, in the, like, the scene in the bar. Probably. It's such a good idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good Will Hunting, but they're both dumb.

All right. all right should we do teach me something yep do you know who mondo duplantis is i do yeah okay so he's a hottie he's a hottie he's the he's the best pole vaulter in the world he's from sweden and track meets will pay you a hundred thousand dollars if you break a world record okay he was oh he was a white boy of the year candidate last year was he the one he ran up to his girlfriend yeah yeah he is the current world record holder he has been for some time and instead of like going to his max he's so much better than everyone else like no one can even come close instead of just going to his max just every meet he just brings it up by a centimeter oh so we can

keep getting so just every meet he just makes a hundred thousand dollars that's awesome and he'll probably i don't know how much how like it seems like he can he could do another foot he could jump infinitely high so it's just like it's basically just how much money does he want to make that's awesome i love that but it is like it might take us fucking forever to find out what what the real yeah i mean at some point he has to be like oh okay am i prime like once he realizes like he might be declining he has to just go for it totally totally uh teach me something willie uh tigers you know tigers of course i have another these are both jumping jumping teach me something yeah you know the tigers can jump up to like 33 feet in the distance and 10 or sorry

33 feet in distance 16 feet in the air oh my gosh uh wait one second how is 33 feet like the wall you think it's 10 yards on a football field yeah that's crazy are we saying their feet get 16 feet off the ground or it can like reach 16 feet because there's no way it can jump 16 feet in the air i don't know look at the biggest tiger biggest tiger jumped tigest bigger jump tagus tiger woods biggest jump um if i jump 16 feet in the air i'm gonna lose my fucking watch this one Why do we always go for the Facebook ones? Well, it's just the first one that popped up.

I don't know why there's no sound, though. They're so beautiful. This majestic animal jumps higher than the fence. Time to build it a little higher, we think. Oh. I mean, that was like four feet, maybe. You think you can do four times that? That's what the internet said.

Let's see. 16 Google Tiger Tiger jumping Tiger 16 foot tiger jump I'm not high as 10

I don't know Yeah okay this says The average can jump around 10 to 13 Yeah go How high can a tiger jump Oh Wait

Oh no that video Was called How high can a tiger jump He was saying Click that one It was the same Oh wasn't it Was it

That one Yeah it was That's the same video oh my god all right i'll take your word for it that's crazy um all right should we do wrestling moves that don't exist or facts about ancient greece that we made up um let's do ancient greece or wrestling i don't care we'll start with start with wrestling actually wrestling all right you want to go first sure or you want to start it i mean or do you want me to these are wrestling moves that don't exist

sorry first i don't want to go first you got you go first what no the sinking spaniard you go up to the rafters while he's uh recovering from the last move you did on him you drop a boat on him love that uh the two-pronged ass clamp all right use both of your feet you do a back flip land both feet directly into his ass cheeks pin him to the mat the evil chiropractor okay uh he is stomach down you jump and you double hammer fist his c7 and his s4 love it and you shatter his spine i love that i don't know if the s4 exists but uh i got the backwards teeth cleaner backwards teeth cleaner uh you are facing the opposite direction you take two fingers on each hand you stick him in his mouth you scrub his gums like nuts and then you poke him through and

knock him to the mat the sack shredder okay uh you it only works on on opponents who have you have easy access to their sack yeah but you pull it out put it in a paper shredder love that butcher's elbow you throw them into the air you put your arm like this on the ground and they land with their mouth right on your elbow uh the milk man you it works better in duo matches but if it's two against one you grab one of the guys twist his nipples shoot milk into the other guy's eyes blind him uh the triple dong taser all right now this one is very hard to execute only one guy's ever done it yep uh you dong tase them three times in a row what does that mean you want to know what a dong taser is you put your hands and your feet like this

and you go into the the ropes and then you launch yourself 100 miles an hour straight into their penis you have three three times in a row how do you make sure they they're completely immobile uh the sick and twisted yeah you you run at him and then you do a cork 900 and you sneeze and uh it just is really disorienting and you kick him in the asshole i like that uh the four story shutdown all right you jump for the equivalent of four floors into the air and land with both feet in their skull four story shutdown only been done once john cena did it to a child oh my god not in a match it was just it was his no that was his last wish yes oh god um all right you want to do this one i believe you got it why no you have to do some too

i know but sometimes i feel like they do better when you tear it up okay these are facts about ancient greece that don't exist no that we made up okay these are facts about ancient greece that we made up their language could actually not be spoken so they could only communicate by writing and handing paper to each other oh wow did you know that married couples were required to identify themselves by only going in public on each other's shoulders um there were no straight men so the only way they could reproduce is by closing their eyes and pretending uh while we mainly see the statues that they did of humans actually most of their statues were of lantern fish that was like a huge thing for them um people with red hair were considered extremely lucky so their vote

in elections were worth a hundred votes i did read that yeah uh children children were children were required to stay in school 24 7 until they had learned everything and they were fed methamphetamine uh to keep them awake right so it was about an eight-year chunk of your life where you didn't sleep and you learned everything and then you were good A lot of people think that Jewish people invented it, but actually the ancient Greeks invented matzo ball soup in 124 B.C. Wow, I didn't know that. Birds could vote. The statues we see today were actually originally made of yogurt, and they just hardened over time.

I did know that, yeah. The only way to prevent balding, they believed, was to cover your head in tzatziki and let birds take a lick. Awesome. That was stuff we—so none of that was real, Lauren. Just for your math. Fake. math fake um you guys comment down below if you want to be in the burger freak off oh should we have one lucky playmate could be in the burger for you oh i thought they're the

target i thought they were gonna be in it it's it's like bocce balls who can get it closest to the playmate it's not about distance it's distance wait i think i could throw in 20 yards we'll get one lucky playmate can join us for the burger freak off we should run a football field yeah oh that's a good point or the santa monica pier we're not doing it on the pier literally could it's it is almost the worst place we could possibly do it is the pier oh my god then we'll do in time square next yeah uh all right pick one or two lauren two okay are you deciding between two songs yeah okay we today's rusty's song of the day let's see how many of you playmates are on there at this time at this exact moment there are 2 557 saves wow the playlist is up to

an hour and 14 minutes long now there's a couple songs on there um today's song is she moves in her own way by the kooks okay i always forget how much i like the kooks there's something about the lead singer's voice that i don't even i don't even know what nationality british gotta be probably he's saying the way he sings makes me feel like i am in a movie i love it my life is a movie so guys go follow it again when we hit 10 000 saves two of you are getting 101 dollars that's 200 for me and a dollar from each of them um if you if you send me a screenshot that you are following it and hey if you want to see a burger freak off comment burger free comment burger free one person who comments burger freak off will be invited to join us

as a third participant in the burger freak off here in los angeles so only if you're willing to come to la or live in la wait comment burger freak off and then comment how many miles you are away from santa monica and whoever is the median answer well but we need someone that's actually gonna do it no we'll just comment burger freak off okay meet a medium answer what does that even mean a medium answer are you a mean guy or a median guy when trying to figure things out bird lauren mean or median if we take out the outliers mean or median when trying to figure things out i don't know i don't know what that means all right see you next week wait did we do everything yeah all right we love you guys have a great rest of your wednesday have a great rest of your week

have a lovely relaxing weekend we will see you bright and early on monday shout out monday let's get do not shout out monday that that day is ass come on that day is ass happy happy almost friday right all righty love you guys take it easy comment adam sandler again Thanks for watching!