Will & Rusty's Playdate - Cosmic Uprising

Episode Date: October 11, 2023

Will and Rusty explore the most outer rims of the Cosmos while drafting sayings/bands that don’t exist and pitching business ideas. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod (00:00) Intro (00:19) 12 Year Old Dealer (05:19) Rusty’s Stolen Car (11:27) Pitch Submissions (13:27) Hurricane Shot (24:03) Pitches (29:19) Empty Netters (37:42) Sayings that Don’t Exist (43:12) Bands that Don’t Exist (50:00) High School Parties Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back william rusty's played in episode six you know what they say episode six pull out your podcast equipment that's the saying they do say that um what what what a week we've had what a week have we i don't know it's been pretty normal um no okay this is i literally like this morning got a a snapchat memory thing that triggered a very funny memory from my past lay it on me um 20 it was like 2018 it was my freshman year of college okay i was like got really addicted to sports betting like right when i got into college and i was losing like hundreds of dollars a week i was like really bad at it like i had lost all my money like all my money was gone i was down to like my last like hundred bucks or something

and uh the week or i guess i had a few hundred bucks whatever the week before thanksgiving i'm i'm asleep and i wake up in the middle of the night and i was like super into kanye at this point i was like huge kanye guy which okay obviously this is before any uh any of that stuff yeah um but i i wake up in the middle of the night now like 3 a.m kanye had tweeted like surprise yeezy drop like live now on yeezy supply and i it was like one minute ago the tweet had come out so i was like holy crap like this is how i'm gonna make money so i spent my last like two two two of my last three hundred dollars on a pair of yeezys they were like this new color the mauve 700s or something sounds sick i don't know what they are but like in my mind i'm like oh

yeezys are i'm gonna i'm gonna turn 500 bucks on this like it was a good play so i go back to bed wake up so i bought it like three in the morning go back to bed wake up in the next day and he had tweeted like 10 minutes after i bought them like this is going to be the biggest yeezy drop ever like yeezys are for the people oh and they were immediately already worth less than i had bought them for so i was bummed and i was like literally out of money so i fly home for thanksgiving i my buddies like hey like my high school buddies like hey let's go get let's go get lunch meanwhile i'm like trying to trying to sell these yeezys i can't find anyone online i find this like page for like it was like eight four three kicks and it was like yeah it's like the area code in

charleston so it was like a page in charleston where they buy and sell sneakers i was like dm and i'm like yo i got these like you want to buy them and he was like low balling me but i was like desperate so i was like all right i'm gonna meet up with you and sell them my buddy's like hey let's go get lunch we go to the lunch place at this point i have no money in my bank account so i order food knowing that i'm meeting this kid like during our lunch yeah so i ordered food that i couldn't pay for and then halfway through the lunch got up to go meet this kid so i go down to this like corner we'd agreed to meet on i'm like standing outside the corner it's like outside this like sneaker store a guy like comes out he's like can i help you like i'm like loitering out there

i was like oh like i know this is kind of weird but like i'm meeting this kid to like sell him shoes from online he's like oh nathan or like whatever the kid's name was like yeah yeah and he's like oh man you're gonna meet that little kid like man he's a piece of work like that little that little boy is like he keeps saying all these things that imply that he's like little and i'm like this is a little weird by selling to a dwarf yeah i was like is it like what do you mean by little he's like oh that kid's 12 years old yes and so i'm in the i i'm he's like but but he's cool you can come wait inside so i'm just like in the sneaker store waiting like my food's getting cold uh at this restaurant that i had like it was like a five minute drive away and sure enough

this kid shows up and he is literally 12 years old comes up on a bike uh yeah comes inside and it's just like like the biggest hard-o about it too he's like let me see them like i gotta check these see if they're real and it was just the most they came out yesterday what's that you're like they came out yesterday yeah like how would i fake these this quickly and uh yeah it was it was incredibly desperate he super low-balled me but i just had like he didn't obviously i didn't I'm a good negotiator. I wouldn't tell him I needed it to pay for my lunch. Yeah.

And yeah, he sold them to me, or he bought them for me for like $150, but my buddy got a picture of the transaction that I sent to Lauren. Oh, he's fully a child. He is. Okay. He is an actual child. And you are four feet taller than him? Imagine that kid is like, well, let me check these out.

And then he's like haggling with me, and I'm like... Those are pretty insane sneakers. I've never seen them before. Can I ask how much he gave you for them? i think i got like 140 or 150 and i paid 220 or something it's like an instant loss of almost 100 at least you could pay for your lunch though i mean you i did i did pay for my lunch what a little business man yeah pretty pretty funny that's awesome um funny part about that is i'm also wearing easy that was a big easy guy then yeah you should have sold them both i'm also

standing really weird you are if i'd want dessert i would have sold them you're standing like a dad i feel like that's such a dad no that's the stance of a guy who can't can't tell this kid like i will never financially recover if you don't if you don't buy these you're trying not to blow your cover kind of a cool sweater i had on that is a cool sweater i always will see um see pictures of myself like a couple years ago wearing the coolest shit yeah where did that go who has it i think i have that sweater i might have to pull that out when i was a i'm not did i tell you about when i got my car stolen no when i was no when i was a junior in college i was like at this girl's house and parked her her my car in like a in a nearby parking lot near near her house and i'm

walking back because i had spanish class and my car's not there and so i'm like okay i must have gotten towed call the call the tow company they're like nope we don't we don't have it but i don't want to admit that my car has gotten stolen until i'm positive admit to who to like the police like i don't want to file a police report until until i was positive that like i didn't like misplace it or like one of my buddies was driving it whatever and so a couple hours go by i'm like distraught in class just like my life is crumbling like i can't find my car which is like a it's not like your airpods like where you're like they'll turn up like it's a pretty big thing it's probably the biggest thing it's probably the biggest thing i own and um so like the whole weekend goes by

you didn't file a report no i filed it later that afternoon the cops were like there's nothing we can do but like call all your buddies make sure it's none of them yeah because if we see the car like we are dragging the person out like at gunpoint yeah basically being like so like if it's one of your buddies like just let them know to tell you or whatever no one has it so like they also told me it's almost surely scrapped for parts by now like you'll never see it again and it's like the worst weekend ever it's pouring rain the whole time i gotta call it like i've been i've been getting prank called all night from like unknown numbers and kids like fucking with me and because they knew it was like the no no not about the card just like funny prank calls

whatever and so like i finally i'm like i'm going to bed phone rings at 4 30 in the morning unknown number i pick up they're like hey this is the winter park police department uh we have your jeep if you want to come down and get it and i'm just like assuming it's a prank call because it's from an unknown number so i was like and everyone knew at school so i was just like this is someone being an asshole and i was like hey it's actually not funny i'm still pretty pissed about that like go fuck yourself and hung up go back that's a crazy move go back to bed phone rings again now it's not it's not an unknown number they're using the real the cops real number it's a 407 number you guys this is actually the winter park police department like we can

impound it or you can come get it and i'm like okay i'll be right down and we go to this like place basically what had happened was when they hotwired it yeah something in the wiring went wrong and after like a day of them driving it the horn wouldn't stop going off so they're they're driving just down like presumably just down aloma or whatever the main road is and the horn just will not stop going off so they pull into this neighborhood ditch it in this guy's like yard and the neighbors called being like someone is like slamming someone is laying on their horn out out in the driveway and so we go it's been raining the whole weekend so it's there's four feet of water not four feet it's it's up to my knees in water because the top wasn't on

they've taken everything out of everything that i had they've taken and they've replaced with their stuff so like the people that stole it so like i had like i would keep a pair of flip-flops in there i would keep like shoes like random shit like sweatshirts for when people got cold and they took all of my sweatshirts and left theirs and like took my shoes like left like one of their vans and the point of this story was basically like i they took one of my favorite sweatshirts yeah and i had this dream of me just walking down the street and seeing some guy wearing this bates athletics sweatshirt because it's a sweatshirt that no one in florida would have yeah and i would just get to fucking beat the brakes off this guy over a sweatshirt never happened no i never

saw him um i would there were a couple times where i was at a stoplight and there were homeless guys laughing at the car and it could have just been them on whatever but my thought process was like oh my god like he fucking got it back he fixed the horn they they found a bunch of receipts in it for like needles and so it was guys doing like h oof and they tried to backtrack and go to the cvs like um security tapes to see like who bought it because the receipt had a time stamp on it and it was just kind of a dead end that's a bummer i uh i had a a good friend of mine in college had a similar start to your story where he had he parked in his driveway every day and he woke up one morning car wasn't there they were all freaking out filed a report with the police

like a whole thing uh police end up getting a call from police like hey we we found your car it's it's parked outside of the chipotle around the corner and and he he like immediately realized that the day before he just he drove chipotle was like incredibly close to his house but he had he was so like hung over that he just decided to drive so he drove to chipotle parked got his chipotle and then walked home and went back to sleep after eating it and so it was like a whole they literally filed like the police called them where they found your car it was just where he had parked it and he completely forgot dude dream yeah it was insane i leave my car unlocked here oh that's good and uh good to say on camera yeah and well no one knows what car

you're driving and cheap it's a black cheap and angus angus was like uh angus was like why do you leave it unlocked i was like well i just don't leave anything because i don't want someone shattering my window so i was like i just don't leave anything in there that i wouldn't want someone to steal yeah what can they steal if i don't leave anything in there and he was like the car like and it occurred to me and you would know better than i would know better than anyone but um yeah that's where my life's at that's fair nice that's should we do some uh should we do some friend of the pod yeah did you get submissions yeah i have a few i've noticed are you scouring like the like i feel like the youtube comments had them too i was looking at the youtube all right

cool um i don't have any youtube comment ones for today maybe next week but um okay one of these is like insanely long perfect we got time perfect yeah we actually we have like over an hour all right i'm not gonna do that one first okay i'm starting start with a short one okay ease us into it all right this one is from abby sharp abby sharp a sharps yep all right her business her business idea is a shot send and she is accepting new names for it so keep that in mind yeah so the shot send postcard you can't celebrate with your friends for birthdays and special days like before with the shot send you can send a shot to anyone and if they don't take it the driver will throw it on you for rejecting on the shot send app you can pick which shot you'll send

and then it will be delivered immediately after like like it's like a he drives to their house to the house to a bar to a restaurant i would assume yeah i was thinking okay so one it's a fun idea but i too i think a more like feasible way to do it is is it's just whatever bar they're at the bartender hands them a shot i think having a i think having i think having a stranger travel yeah with a to-go shot is and then and then being like i got work and they just fucking throw it in your eyes yeah i do like the idea of like like a registry at the bar that you're having a party at so that's a great idea you're having your birthday party at a bar and you can set up a registry so your friends that are out of town can like go online and pay for a bud light or a shot or

whatever and then so we just sounded like an ad for bud light we just really hijacked abby's idea but i like yours better yeah well it's it's still her idea yeah it's still her idea yeah do you know what a hurricane shot is no it's uh sounds traumatic dude it is so bad i'll i'll show you the i actually can i i'm not i'm gonna show a little i'm gonna send this to lauren and i point this up yeah you're pulling this up you you you do need to see or slack it to brian right yep slack it to brian slack it to brian because brian's computer slack it to brian but yeah overall i think that idea is fun i it's so sad that that's just the reality of life now it's like majority of our friends and like people that we want to be doing these special dates with like aren't

like birth i don't know it's just birthdays like events i'm like it can't be there can't be celebrating uh yeah well you make new friends here yeah of course but it's not like your day ones yeah your shy town girls yeah and my and my dayton homies and my dayton homies okay your flyers um flyers did you turn the tv or did i turn the tv on did i turn the tv on is the screen on yes okay but there's software things in the way all right is it oh all right wait i'm just gonna show you slacky to brian yes okay all right all right trust me this is worth it this is worth it yeah okay this is a hurricane put it put it full screen this is a hurricane don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life you know the same way

you can skip an ad i get it i'm siaya and i live in ice cove i've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow, things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. What the f...

Is that an employee of the restaurant? Yes. That's the waitress. What's the stuff she throws? So you take a shot of fireball. She throws a shot of vodka in your face And then she slaps you in the face And this kid said he could do more than me

So we're just going back and forth Oh my god Alright, you get the gist You can turn it off Yeah, isn't that a huge bummer So that's a hurricane shot And I think what we need Isn't that insane?

What if it's like a strong dude They usually send one of the female waitresses But I have seen it with guys This is at um i don't know if i want to shout them out this is at a place called margaritas in winter park no in orono maine oh so home of the black bears so home of the black bears yes and um and this kid so this the waitress comes up to us at the table and she's like these kids over there sent you a hurricane shot and i'm like that's so nice yeah and and everyone

that's sitting next we're at a dinner table there's like 10 of us and my friends that are sitting next to me moved seats and i was like okay there's got to be some sort of like splash back some splash element and i was like i'm fine with getting like a little wet yeah and and then everyone pulls their phones out and i'm just like okay this is obviously gonna be so bad and uh and she did that and then i and then the kid said we kept sending in we kept sending them back and forth to each other and so we're that guy was that guy and we were like let's just sit down at one table and go back and forth until one of us taps out and then neither of us were tapping out the manager came out and was like to the waitress like we can't like we can't keep doing this is

too yeah you're gonna kill me um okay sorry to hijack that that pitch but that's i would want to be sending these shot sends a good idea i i think that i feel like now the registry ideas birth that birthed from within it yep is probably a good idea she owns the rights yeah abby abby sharp abby sharp thank you abby sharp all right this next one is from my younger brother and his friend yeah your younger brother my little brother shout out sean hoagland shout out sean hoagland is he an sea an irish our family's irish oh i thought that was like a fraternity oh is he sea yeah rush sean yeah sea and he's uh he's a sophomore at the university dayton that is correct bingo how'd you have that off the top of your head i am good he's good i am

well read on the hoaglands all right yeah so sean hoagland and johnny cipriano this is one of his good friends johnny cipriano is a great name wow that guy's that guy'll put a hit on you dude straw yeah absolutely got mom no he's the guy that that they hired to kill you yeah all right what is it what do we got sean so he's sean's been really into pickleball recently him and my sister were like playing pickleball a lot when he was home okay and he said that a pickleball bar would be a wonderful business idea what was that noise this is like this is like do you hate this yeah why are you shitting on sean no i'm not shitting on sean it's just like i feel like like pickleball people are kind of insufferable yeah they're the worst like this would be this

would do well in like williamsburg yeah okay okay all right continue i'm sorry i feel i already feel Now Sean isn't going to like you. I know. I know. I'm sorry, Sean. I'm sorry, Sean. Well, he just said pickleball bar. Today's day and age, obviously drinking and doing activity is the new norm.

Examples, Topgolf, axe throwing. So he says you can rent a court and drop in and play whenever. And he envisions this as an old neon themed bar with black courts, bright neon lights. You throw in a DJ and some alcohol and it sounds like a great time. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I like it. I think it definitely does.

I think it's I think it would do well. it just i just yeah i guess i can't really understand it because i don't play pickleball but like the people that do enjoy it obviously it's like such a community it is it is they would like it no it would be like it would be a hidden i mean if you go to like and you walk around like new york they have like everything is turned into like pickleball courts and stuff here's what happened here's what happened on the boardwalk and then yeah yeah sorry here's what happened in sean's brain sean we've all been there we've all been a sophomore in college and we're like we're like what does this need this is fun but what would make it better yeah being

hammered and and sean was playing pickleball with what's his name no with my sister johnny sirianni with johnny sirianni johnny cipriano i had a buddy named i had a buddy named johnny filoni they should they should hang out there we go not sure why i felt like i had to tell you guys that sean sean sean one day and i haven't gotten there yet you're gonna want to do things sober you and i i like the disclaimer that you haven't gotten there yet um and i love your idea i believe it already exists and i think our best bet is we do it and then we get bought out by top golf i agree i it is yeah it's a good idea it would do well it's just like i just don't like i think the pickleball thing was has been a little overdone i i got a i got a 150 pickleball

paddle because i was like i'm gonna oh i played like three times in a week and was like and was like this is my new thing when got the fucking swaggy paddle yeah and then i just am still unathletic so it did yeah it was graphite i think like a pencil yeah you're right with it wait i think you could if graph graphite pickleball yeah pickleball paddles graphite yeah yeah yeah yeah i feel like we're a little harsh on sean i'm sure you can take it it's okay okay um okay all right all right yeah that yeah that's uh that's fine nothing crazy sorry bruh sorry sorry bruh your sister's great she's great great okay the next one is from my friend from high school his name is alex donnelly main okay i feel like you're stacking the deck in your favor

to be fair hey let me just shout out our our fans love you guys but we need some more dms coming in because i didn't get the best ideas this week just being honest so this is what i had to work with yep this is long though so wait this is alex your friend from what high school boy or girl boy okay this is like an essay okay oh this is the long one hey playdate pod i have a business pitch i'd like to run by you it's actually less of a business pitch it's more of an addition to traditional business meetings the jersey swap yes in modern culture business negotiations typically conclude with a handshake and maybe a press article to boost engagement and to illustrate harmony amongst the parties involved i think we should make the jersey swap a customary practice

to conclude business meetings yeah in soccer the captains will trade banners from their respective teams as a sign of respect in the nfl or nba at the end of regulation we often see players trade jerseys with opposing players and occasionally those players will sign their jerseys again a sign of respect and an appreciation of the game and admiration of the opposition's valiant valiant valiant efforts business negotiations can be difficult and hard fought but should still celebrate all efforts involved i'm not saying that sarah from the mna team should trade her scarf with matt from hr's tie because that's what i was thinking so i'm so glad he cleared that up wait he was not thinking no he's not thinking sarah from hr is going to

trade her scarf with matt from tie it can be anything um your company has a few branded yeti coolers lying around perfect you can't have too many mugs in their apartment maybe a fruit basket who doesn't love fruit put in the break room it'll get eaten by end of day anything to show grace and many things making the jersey swap a customary practice in corporate america will make this cutthroat cold and greedy world a little bit friendlier thank you for your time okay i like it i like it that was so long so long but i i love it but here's my one thing i kind of wish it was literally trading articles of clothing that's what i i think he i think he buried himself at the end there i think it should be like you take your shirt off do you know like cars do you know

car salesmen do after their first sale have you seen this no the guy comes up and he cuts your tie like your manager comes up and cuts your tie off that's cool wait what yeah after your sale he cuts your tie off and you like keep it so like after you after you and sarah from hr get to the bottom of whatever problems been having she takes off her blouse or blouse and you take off your shirt and then for the rest of the day matt from hr is matt from matt from accounting is wearing sarah from hr just blouse yeah sarah from accounting sarah from hr is wearing matt from accountings brooks brothers button down i like i think it's yeah i think it should be shirts it's a good idea yeah a signature could be cool too but i like it it's a good way of building

camaraderie what was that last one camaraderie camaraderie all right should we let's let's should we pitch each other yeah i got some i got some fucking gold on this do you really all right you want me to break your brain right now yes all right ready i got hard dip it's a tailgate staple hummus vegetable dip tzatziki whatever you're feeling but it's it's alcoholic oh i thought you meant i thought you meant it was rock hard no you like ate it by itself no i love that like hummus and pita chips but you're getting a little buzz on that's so great it's perfect for tailgates you can do you could do a cheese dip what makes it alcohol what makes it alcohol the vodka yeah i blacked out again oh well that would happen if you had too much hard dip uh i alcoholic dip i

love it and here's why when you're at a when you're at like a family gathering there is always an aunt or an uncle or a grandparent that's kind of keeping an eye on how many you've had yeah and you feel like you gotta sneak them or something this you just have like four or five chips yeah and you got a steady buzz going on exactly does it taste good tastes awesome cool that was my main concern yeah taste you can't even tell um how do you measure like what's one shot uh i think like like three scoops is a shot yeah yeah so you can still snack i love it because You, yeah. Yeah.

All right. Hard dip. I got... That would go very nicely with my cucumbers I have over here. What do we say about the cucumbers? Okay. It would, it would. You said, you're a liar.

Your face when she said that was like, I'm going to fucking kill you for some reason. Can I get one? Do you want one? Are they salted? No. Cuke me. Cuke me. Do you want one?

Cuke me. I forgot how awful these are. They're not good. What? They're good when you salt them. Wait, now it's like you guys are doing ASMR with the cucumber. All right, what's your... All right, ready?

Yeah. okay oh it's so much like rind dramatic all right what's the worst part what's the worst part about flying uh getting getting patted down at tsa because you had a bum what's the worst part of flying once you're on the plane your legs next to you stinks no leg room no leg room what and and what what makes what what takes away even more legroom big people matt damon matt damon would take it away when they recline when they recline when they recline and and and you were laying forward and you had your position all figured out and then this guy in front of you fucking jacks it around well that would really make it weird yeah um it's a bike lock that you put on the seat in

front of you so that their seat can't go back that's crazy yeah i'm a recliner i am too but i don't want the person in front of me to do it yeah it's a bike lock they would notice that immediately wouldn't know it's invisible oh no no it's uh it's like one of those things you lock the steering wheel to your brake so that someone can't steal your car they got that yeah um it's one of those but it just like it like binds the three seats in front of you together oh okay so that people on either side can go back but he can't i like that i think that would help yeah he would probably call the flight attendant and then it would be like hey take that giant bike lock off so my question is what if someone is gonna use this on you

um i i you also anyone who owns it has the key to every other one okay okay so yeah as long as people won't start catching on you're fine yeah yeah all right i like that that was so bad no i like that you hated it oh well no i hated it could be worse it could be pre-cocktailed shrimp all right lay it on me i got pre-cocktailed shrimp okay everyone loves a shrimp cocktail but no one wants to go through the effort of making a shrimp cocktail unless they're at like some sort of soiree that already yeah or something so these come they're frozen shrimp but they're pre-covered in cocktail sauce and when you when you when you cook them they you cook them or you what do you do with thaw and shrimp thaw them out yeah you thaw them out and then they got a layer

they got like a a layer of cocktail sauce around them i got a good one i got a good addition to that okay you know how like they're they're frozen in ice and then you have to like melt them then then take them out of the water and then put the cocktail sauce the water they're frozen in the cocktail sauce so when it thaws they're already in it they're already in it i like that a lot that's why we make a great duo we have a podcast yeah i have a podcast to piggyback off of what we were just talking about you're from boston i am uh boston bruins legend milan lucic was in the studio via zoom for the empty netters podcast this week dan and chris powers hottest guys i know best legitimately the best looking guys i know very knowledgeable on hockey some of

the most enthusiastic guys i've ever met they they have they have a face for being on screen they they're just and they got a face for tv and a voice for radio they are just they're they're hitting home runs every week they're empty netters pod they're hitting slap shots they're hitting slap shots every week uh check out the empty netters pod it's part of the almost friday family they record right here in the same studio the will and rusty's playdate studio we're working on getting that as the official name um but they're crushing it they have new pods every week on wednesday a little little derivative um but it's kind of what we do kind of our thing even though they started at first kind of felt like we obviously were gonna do that yeah um but

listen to the empty netters pod they have a great in their talk with me on lucic about the 2011 cup run about what it was like to play with, you know, all these Chara, Bergeron, Tim Thomas, and many more. Tuka Rask, Hall of Famer. Was he on that team? Future Hall of Famer. Yeah, I think Tim Thomas

was on the team starting the season. I think Tuka came in during the playoff run. It was like sort of a Fleury-Matt Murray situation where he came in and won the cup and kind of earned the job after that. Nice. You kind of feel for Tim Thomas. he deserved that one he might have been the one who won i don't really remember

i don't want to go on a hockey rant if you want to hear hockey rants empty netters empty netters pod baby listen listen to it like it love it love it and anyway as you were saying we'll jump right back into where you were about to say that i was just talking about how that's where oh i was gonna say i bought a meatloaf flavored vape and my now my arms won't bend that's probably what we were talking about in the pod i don't remember back to the pod all right i got um it's an ai jingle you type in your to-do list and it makes a catchy jingle out of everything you have to do for the day i like this so you can walk through you can walk down the sidewalk and you can be singing the song and you know you know everything you have to

do that day yeah wash the car yeah take out the dog change the trash and then go to the store hang with will do our pong cast yeah brush your teeth and wipe your bum tell your loved ones you're in financial trouble you need some help right now go to the doctor and get that thing check yeah i like it right go to the store take out the dog hey say hi to lauren and take it to lunch take give will give will a hug say what's up do your homework and then go to bed look at pictures of horses in bed before you fall asleep so you dream about them that night yeah i love it right all right i love it thanks i feel like it would make every day so happy it would make everyday awesome yeah yeah oh and also i feel like what so you said it was an app uh yeah yeah

you type in you type in everything i feel like depending on your mood that day you could choose from different themes and it'll like curate exactly what you're looking yes yeah that was exactly what i give a bad day it's like go take out the dog and then wallow in pity this sounds like a phoebe bridger song i hate you for what you did and i miss you like a little kid i faked it every time that's all right fell on hard times a year ago was hoping you would let it go and you did her tiny desk twice this weekend so yeah let's say morale let's just say Is that a Phoebe Bridgers sweatshirt? Yeah.

I didn't know she had a tiny desk. She does, yeah. Oh, I need to watch that. Yep. All right, lay it on me. It's five in one. Soap. Shampoo.

Yep. Sour cream. Oh. Baking soda. Toothpaste. Why sour cream? Because think about it. You have all these different little bottles around your house.

And you waste money. you waste time you always like the sour cream is like i feel like i always end up throwing out half of the sour cream yep so it's like oh if you're already also using it for baking soda toothpaste shampoo and soap then it's like you're you know what i mean it just like keeps it's easier i also am now realizing i guess conditioner is separate you still have to buy conditioner yeah but i feel like this feels like a no-brainer to streamline sort of your eating and cleanliness habits and do you know what what ingredients it's gonna be comprised of no no that's not that's we're high level yeah remember guys we don't we don't we think big picture yeah someone made a i'm trying

to find it someone made like a it's like barbasol 23 in one oh really and it's like they took my idea there's no theirs is like it just slowly devolves it's like shampoo conditioner shaving cream body wash motor oil you know what i mean yeah yeah it looks so real too kind of like again maybe i wasn't original well i also had shirtilizer which is you know how you always like you know there's like always t-shirts you're like what the hell happened to that t-shirt yep well this is the biode all t-shirts shirtilizer t-shirts are biodegradable so it's like you don't have to worry that you're hurting the environment by losing them they're wait how you're where your main concern when you lose a t-shirt is like oh i just littered yeah i mean

it's one of them pretty crazy i wouldn't say i wouldn't go as far to say it's i don't jesus christ i wouldn't go as far as to say that it's my main concern but it's one of them i got it's a vpn okay yeah i love that and no it's not a vpn it's a software that uh automatically masks your tabs and your history so like you don't have to worry about what you're googling it all looks like smart things okay oh oh it replaces it with replaces it with like with like why are the cosmos so deep and some and someone would look over your phone and be like that guy is asking the right questions wow instead of like busty milf yes right video busty milf video i mean pretty much just busty milf video it's it only knows how to do we're guys we're gonna watch busty milf videos

i feel like this goes hand in hand with the share pods yeah yeah fuck it's the same wait did that guy make no no i'm wait didn't we make a yes wait can we show the salsa amigo well no he's sending them oh okay yeah i am so excited to actually wear the share pods yeah for everyone yeah for everyone listening we have an amazing listener who has sending us some prototypes of from the first episode yeah can i actually give you a fourth one because i don't feel strong enough about that last one a hundo p all right it's prostitution for friends oh god um the like you pay you're paying for friends okay and they come over it's kind of like an escort but there's no there's no like silver lining that you feel like you're gonna have to have sex there's no

hand stuff even sometimes there's hands there's sometimes hand stuff yeah well it's like if that's where the friendship get fuck that one's bad too i went two for four today that's okay that's uh baton 500 there is a way that prostitution for friends could be cool but i haven't figured it out yet it's like bumble bffs yes except so you don't have to go through the work i guess no no you just pay them but they want to be i like the idea that they're still like out on the street corners but instead of dressing slutty they're like seeming really fun yep yes they're like building legos on the street corners you're like i'll take that guy i'm gonna take that guy all right should we do some drafts uh we're guys we're guys we're gonna draft we're gonna do dress

god all right the people wanted it and we're just we're just we're just doing it again let's for what they want ladies and gentlemen it's sayings three here are more sayings that don't exist yeah sayings that don't exist part dress all right we got sinking like a dumbbell and kick wait no no i gotta start over i don't want to start with that one okay well now i'm gonna be thinking about it you might as well just do it all right you go first wait no no no no this is a nightmare we've already fucked this up all right we got more sayings that don't exist first one i got knocking dominoes one at a time it's uh you're have you like when you're too you got your hands in something too much when you could have just kind of let it go after the start yes like someone

who's like overly involved in something that's already on the right trajectory i like that they're knocking dominoes one at a time it's a good visual how are they doing it though like it's honestly more impressive they're knocking them backwards they're knocking back yeah maybe yeah well i think domino's can go either way i got um i got every village needs its idiot okay so you know like a lot of people will feel like they're worthless but in reality you're you're a cog in in like a larger thing like we we can't all be we can't all be the best you have to no that's not the way to phrase it the way to phrase it is is even you bring something to the table no matter how small it is and people need to appreciate that i like that me too um i've

got don't wash the sand off before you've left the beach nice yeah it's like if you try to be sometimes by being too proactive you're actually just creating double the amount of work like if you clean all the sand off you while you're still on the beach you're just gonna have to do it again later so do things at the right time and don't make more work for yourself yeah okay i got um even instant ramen takes a minute so that's good thank you it basically means like nothing is gonna happen no matter how perfect the circumstances are things take time i like that you gotta be patient and ride with it yep that's great i've got sinking like a dumbbell in quicksand like someone's just on a on a very quick downward trajectory they're sinking like a dumbbell in

quicksand that one is so good but also really stresses me out yeah it's a crazy visual yeah uh really quick commentary on quicksand yeah i feel like i feel like when i was growing up i thought it was gonna be a bigger part of my life than it actually was i was why did we both just that was so mean so mean it's because i was just talking about it with my friends but we knew is that what you're gonna say that you thought it was gonna be a bigger part of your life than it was not those exact words what were you gonna say what you're gonna say that was mean we shouldn't like come at you like that no i was just gonna no no just continue it was because it was because i was exactly it was exactly not the exact then you gotta prove us

wrong oh no i don't feel like talking anymore continue i got it we have we have a podcast so you have to feel like talking all the time yeah i don't feel like talking i don't feel like talking to that um i got you gotta kill the cow to make your steak i like that i like that sometimes you see i appreciate you yeah it's good it's basically like in order in order to get something good you gotta you gotta trim the fat and you gotta sometimes get rid of something that you might really love in order to get you gotta make hard decisions gotta make hard decisions yeah i like that what do you think lauren what do you like that one i wasn't listening oh my god okay uh i've got my god don't break the yolk on the first bite um what does it mean

it means that sometimes you gotta ease into things and if you go too aggressive right from the get-go you kind of ruin it so you know it's like don't blow your load yeah it's sort of like don't yeah exactly this one sucks you ready i'm ready this one's bad you can't take mayo off your sandwich so like you it's you can always put more mayo on yeah again this one's pretty literal it's more just like advice if you're if you're making a sandwich you can put a little bit on see how that works yep go from there if you get a little trigger happy you can't take it off yeah i like that thanks um let's not lauren we're sorry this is my last one i got let's not tear up the hardwood yeah um sometimes old things are good and sometimes things are classics and are around

for a reason you know sometimes people will tear up hardwood floors and put like crappy crap in there i got another one this one's very literal to your life okay not literal this one's you can you'll be able to relate to this termites travel in packs yeah people that are destructive to your life and your well-being uh hang out with other people that have the same goal and you don't want to get caught up with those guys because they're they're counterproductive to your life yeah they'll eat all your wood they'll eat all your wood i like that and they get in your bed my termites i got my i got the my house is getting tented on friday oh and then they'll be gone where are you going a hotel madison wisconsin oh with me yeah nice all right

cool um should we do bands that don't exist yeah we've got bands that don't exist bands that don't want to start us i'll start us off um honorable mention because i already said this one to will a while ago tabitha's crying yep that's a good if i start a band i'm naming it tabitha's crying that's a great one who's tabitha uh i actually don't know i don't know what to have bawling her eyes out wherever she is she is so sad all right i got cosmic uprising i like that they're a reggae band with a intergalactic twist so they all of their songs are about are about traveling through the cosmos and i feel like i've talked about the cosmos a lot today and i don't know what they are i love the cosmos i love the cosmos as well um yeah cosmic uprising all right my first one is

souls for sale yep yeah there we go souls for sales like it's like like sad metal emo grunge souls can i get a verse souls for sale yeah i've never oh wait what do you mean like what would they sing they'd be like they'd be like i'll never find a place in this world for me yes yeah all right i'm fired up on souls for sale yeah that's great dude you have this ability i don't know what it's called it's the equivalent of freestyle rapping for you do like three genres will can do it in folk like pop punk and whatever whatever souls for sale sings yeah that was kind of pop punk i guess i got eric peters and the bastards okay um eric's obviously the front man Duh.

Yeah, he's a guy. He's going to be the frontman of the band. Eric Peters and the Bastards, they're kind of like, I don't know what the genre is, but I know they're barefoot while they're doing it. Shout out. You want to end on this, Lauren? Don't do that. You want to end on this, Lauren?

I have athlete's foot. Okay, all right. Ew. Yuck. Okay, and they're like a jam band. I like that. he also like it's very literal he only plays with people whose fathers left them oh perfect because they bring like a certain edge to it yeah i like they don't yeah you said oh perfect

yeah i didn't say oh perfect all right i got spit montage yep spit montage is heavy metal how heavy like that kind of yeah yeah scream out almost scream oh yeah um do they wear paint no they're naked what's their name again spit montage montage what they're they're fans of the spit heads uh duh they're they're they're gonna be the spit heads they're gonna be the spit heads all right would you guys ever spit takes would you guys ever go to like a heavy metal concert no i don't think you could pay me i don't think you could either i would try everything once i'd probably scream and throw up yeah all right i got uh scary i got clementine social oh i like that a lot yeah billy langdon helped me out with that one sounds like an indie

like like a california like surf jam you know you know rex orange county yeah similar vibe because of the orange clementine thing that might have been where why my brain made its way there but it's like uh it's like uh very happy um there it's very encouraging but you don't you don't want to listen to it alone okay okay yeah i won't i got a fatal crunch they're fatal crunch is is pretty it's pretty metal band yeah it's a metal band it's another metal band do you listen to metal where is this coming i just i just i just know what i just know how to come up with names for their man yeah fatal crunch is good yeah um all right i got the curled hurlers oh that's a mouthful yeah um it's like two different sports

the curled hurlers is they're an irish band with a scottish influence okay so very heavy on the bagpipes they wear kilts and and uh they just fucking jam the curled hurlers the curled hurlers the curdles yeah the hurdles the curdles the curdles cuddle crumbles what are their fans called the curdles hurl heads curl heads the curdles curdles there we go okay i've got uh Kids on Bikes. Yep. This one is kind of like lighthearted, like fun, like indie pop. Yep.

Can I get a verse? Yeah. Let me, Kids on Bikes is going to be like. Heading down to the middle school. Yeah, it's like, that's just freaking out on the interstate. California sun don't make me run. San Diego, you vibe. Oh, we're coming down to the edge of the water.

Ba-da-ba-doom-boom-ba-da-da. Great. And I told you not to go, but one time for good, can you just stay? Bur-bur-bur-bur-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom. It's impressive. Kids on bikes. All right, I got... What just happened there?

i got uh i got halfway to scooch i like that they um they're like country i guess their country maybe halfway to school i don't know i hadn't thought about what they do what do you think halfway to scooch would halfway to scooch seems alt ska punk you love alt ska they are halfway no halfway to scooch is like blues mixed with rap it's sad blues rap i like that sad rap uh that's all the band names nice lauren you got a band name you gotta come up with another spot or we're not gonna we're not gonna say anything until you say one um i don't have a band name but i do have a funny story yesterday can i tell it are you guys still you have to give a band name first i don't have a band name you have to say something um

the lemons terrible band name terrible man name lemon mailed it in i'd listen to lemons yeah that's fine i'd listen to them too okay all right tell us your story so yesterday with some of my friends we were just talking about like high school parties and like running from the cops did you guys ever have to do that yes yep yeah um so sophomore year i was running from this house and i basically ran down a driveway with there's nowhere to go nowhere to go and a cop walks up to me and he asked me my name and i said my name was marie mary smith that is the worst out alias of all time yep and he took me to the police station wait you got taken you got arrested you're taking downtown just to the little wilmette local station wow what happened um i didn't get nothing nothing

like horrible happened but i had to call my mom and then i told her the story about my name and i just think it's so funny reflecting back because i'm like what was going through my head marie mary smith marie mary smith is insane possibly the worst name you could have i mean i'm terrible line so it did he ask for a middle name or did you know no i just gave it to him i don't know i just had to share it though my favorite that is funny that is funny my favorite like getting caught drinking one was uh we're leaving this football game yeah and we didn't know that the guy that we were messing with was like an off-duty cop so like as we're walking away we hear him like on his phone be like hey grab these kids on the way out and the cop comes up to us like brings us

over and he's like which looking back was the least professional way to figure out if these kids were these teenagers were drinking he goes he puts his fingers out and he's like all right you guys are all gonna blow on my fingers and then i'm gonna smell it and figure out if you guys have been drinking he was just a freak and so he goes down the line and like he gets me and he's like yeah you've been drinking it goes to down whatever gets to my buddy bigo and he goes put your put your fingers out he goes like this and and blows through his nose on the cop's finger being like being like he this guy won't be able to tell that i just used my nose yeah and he looked at him like he was the dumbest kid alive and told him to go sit down and uh we thought we got away

with it first period like next day over the loudspeaker it's like we'll blank blank blank blank blank blank blank and lifts off like six kids come down to the main office and we it was my first week of high school first week of senior year and got a two-day suspension jesus that's tough i had a i was on a ski trip in west virginia in like high school and this some kids decide like we were all just we were i was like very young at this point so like we weren't like we didn't have like fakes or anything but we were just like in the hotel room drinking playing game cube and some kid got like caught one like two of the kids tried to go to the bar got caught with a fake and the state troopers they were west virginia state troopers made them they were like take us

back to where you're you're staying like your hotel room and they come in the room and the state troopers come in they came into our hotel room where we were drinking which is like yeah we're underage but we're like in our own hotel room not bothering anyone hold up a breathalyzer like we're breathalyzing everyone in here and i was like oh my god and this one girl started bawling and i was like i'm sorry like it's okay it's okay it's just scary having all these police in our or all i said all these like hotels in our police room and the cop goes what'd you say and i was like he's like yeah you got hotels in your police room i think you've been drinking buddy i was like in hindsight these guys were on the most insane power trip of all time so i was

like can i go to the bathroom and they were like sure so i brushed my teeth in the bathroom because i thought that was gonna make me pass the breathalyzer and then when i got back they just left oh they just left yeah the visual it was just like they were scaring us yeah but it's still like psycho they just broke in well i mean we got a knock on the door so we opened it because we thought it was like our friend and then it was the west virginia state police which is like when you're when you're 16 and drinking alcohol like in your mind it's logical that the police are going to knock on your door and come in yeah but so it was like oh my god it happened but in retrospect that's insane yeah it's such a real fear where you're like you're in your like own

basement yeah and you're like if they wanted to they could bust down these fucking yeah it was crazy well thank you guys episode six was a blast we are proud of all of you for listening and we will see you next we're proud of you for a week for episode seven love you