Will & Rusty's Playdate - Cousin Island with Chet Collins

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Starting point is 00:00:51 ScotiaBank. You're richer than you think. as always playdate pod is brought to you by triple the original high seltzer redefining the party landscape all right playdate episode 38 this is the what's that player you love this number 38 episode um god man you're setting me up for failure i don't i don't know any players brigsby reynolds brigsby reynolds on the on the blue jays yes it's his episode welcome back we're joined by a super special guest our friend compadre slash roommate slash my roommate chester collins great to be here guys you probably know him from um what's that thing you do again

Starting point is 00:01:38 i think we've probably talked about it you know him from some of the sketches i've done you're like in the background of some of my sketches yes yeah yeah i'm like in the background of some of the could be the move stuff yeah we started yeah very good we had kind of a killer weekend the four of us oh god killer we all hung out killer yeah for the first time ever all four of us i'm very hungover so oh yeah you kind of partied yesterday i kept partying but yeah we we us four partied pretty hard on on saturday am i allowed to say that is chester texted me on was that yesterday morning you were like uh what are you doing i was like i'm just killing it kicking it what are you doing he was like uh i'm partying so hard i've been at the pub since 7 30.

Starting point is 00:02:20 okay well now you're making me sound like an alcohol well it was for british it was it was for british it was it was british day it was uh national british day where all the british expats in la get together at ye olde king's head in santa monica to watch it's a great uh the last match day of the premier league season man city arsenal uh battling it out for for your crown lauren was excited about that she was yeah you could have stopped talking about it yeah yeah i've only been to yield twice but the last time i went i met this killer guy who was like a former like you know you can tell a guy played a sport yes yeah i was like i want to be friends with that guy like how do i strike up a conversation he was like one table over and i

Starting point is 00:03:04 leaned over and i was like uh it's like where'd you play ball and he was like uh yale how did you know that and i was like you're just like a big guy do you want to play darts i was like yeah you beat me five times in a row and then just left jesus that's pretty good kind of embarrassed you yeah you're really nice guy though speaking of guys what a segue the killer guys no that night though at that we were at this pub this irish pub on saturday night and it was like pretty like low key like everyone's just kind of sitting around at tables and the the bouncer there oh this guy so this guy's the bouncer but he's like standing on the inside of the door you know he's not like out front because it was kind of low key and listen i don't i'm not gonna name any names or

Starting point is 00:03:48 you know make make a big stink there was vaping going on okay at the table there's there was a vape that people were vaping someone snuck it in someone had snuck in a vape there was some vaping happening i know it's making me sick just saying it but the first time that the vaping happened the guy came over and he was like come on what are you guys doing like seriously and we were like i'm sorry i'm sorry like put it away and then he walked away and we were like why did that feel like personal yeah he was mad about it and then he came over a couple hours later he saw some vaping he comes over and he's like what did i say like what what are you doing like i i what are you doing with your life no he literally he was like i've known you since you were a kid it was

Starting point is 00:04:27 he asked you're not this guy he literally he was like what like what are you doing you told me you gonna stop and the person was just like i lied and he was like god all right i'm taking it and i'm keeping it outside for you and so he takes it and goes and puts it outside then like 20 minutes later he comes back just pulls up a chair at our table and he was like listen i'm sorry to be the be the asshole but it's just this vaping stuff is it's ruining your generation he's like like with cigarettes there's a social element you have to step outside and it's like you don't understand you lose that whole element of it and we're like yeah he's not even mad about anything else he's just like you guys are missing out yeah going outside it was such a bizarre it was like very

Starting point is 00:05:03 personal i can't end a nicotine addiction i don't know if the disappointed eyes of a bouncer doesn't end your nicotine addiction i don't know what will it was like very bizarre lord you're there it was very bizarre how personal it was well and one of the people at the table she was like i think you guys were both saying that he just felt like a guardian angel yeah i was like this whole thing had a deeper meaning like he was like really watching over i don't think he was a real guy he shook down he shook down one of my friends on the way or like a friend of a friend they were those three girls that were coming in and he let the first two in they're all clearly like 25 yeah and he just didn't buy like he didn't buy her id and she was like well i don't know where we go

Starting point is 00:05:46 from here like that's the only yeah my only id i have yeah did you guys see the elton john guy at the bar no oh my god no he was the front man well he's the front man for elton john no he's the he wasn't elton john let me let me tell chest of the way he's a guy who used to play elton john there's this guy in a fully blue bedazzled suit with one white glove at the bar yeah and the only like gap to order was like right next to him he was posted up in the perfect spot yeah and so i had to go stand next to him and he i was like i like your vibe and he just like leaned over and whispered in my ear and he was like uh he's like you like motley crew and i was like i guess like a little bit and he was like yeah they fucked me i was like i was like how he's

Starting point is 00:06:33 like i was the original front man he hasn't made eye contact looking straightforward it's like i was the i was the original front man and i'm like variety he started listing all these newspapers he was like they all buried me no he did yeah he did the same thing to me he was like they all got rich and i here i am poor drinking red wine and he goes he like looks at me again he goes i'm drinking red wine like as i'm ordering and i'm like i'm not buying you red wine but yeah he claimed he told house cabernet and like everyone that went and got drinks at our table would come back and be like that guy just told me he was the front man of motley crew and we're like yeah we know we've all heard his spiel i wonder if it's true it's

Starting point is 00:07:11 probably almost certainly not true but what if he was like buddies with those guys i feel like that's pretty common at like a dive bar there'll be like one local who goes there every day and then you know picks a new a new a new band that he was just goes until one sticks you know when you're talking to a guy and you're like i don't even think he knows where like reality ends and you know whatever game he's playing like begins like i think he's probably told that story to so many people that i think he believes it yeah well i like the idea that he actually what like that was true and that yeah he just hasn't changed since what is motley crew does anyone even know what that is i don't know what i was like i was not like a giant they're like

Starting point is 00:07:52 i know that i know what they are but i don't know what they are oh there's motley crew is also just a phrase like oh that's a pretty motley crew yes well they were like the biggest rock band at one point really you know like tommy lee oh he does a podcast with andrew santino no he uh killer yeah i'm red hot i'm red hot white hot white hot the movie about them yeah the dirt the dirt you've seen the dirt the dirt yeah yeah great movie it's about motley crew yeah yeah they were like a big they were like the biggest thing at one point interesting yeah what's the biggest yeah wait did they come before the phrase or did the phrase was the phrase made after them like oh i believe the phrase came first the way it happens in the movie because

Starting point is 00:08:30 it's spelled differently in the band it's a c-r-u-e oh it is yeah it has an umlaut yeah look that um see in the movie the way it happens is they're trying to come up with like the band name yeah and uh one of them was like i've been sitting on this one for a while and he pulls out his notepad and shows it to him and everyone's like oh then they became that reminds me of you know that nathan fielder hello sorry hey oh we're just with the building yeah oh okay whole building right now oh we're pressing pause guys i'm sorry we can no you're good we're yeah we're working on cables i'll call you back okay we've been doing some work on cables yeah yeah there was a lighting issue oh yeah i think we're good clearly you got power so yeah yeah there hasn't been any

Starting point is 00:09:17 right i think we're good no we're good no we're good yeah interview record a pod what do you do do you look like a wait you're the yeah what is going on wait you do this i'm sorry yeah yeah my name is george farquhar okay you should have been notified uh oh this is not my i don't yeah we don't like us here do you want here wait do you want to sit down let's talk can we say hi what scoot over just wait what are you doing here who are you okay here you sweat you sit here because this mic's working okay So you work for the landlord? Yeah, I...

Starting point is 00:09:58 The landlord... What the hell is this? We film it for the podcast. Is that okay? We're recording? That's fine. That's good. I've never done anything like this. I don't even know what you guys do. You look so comfortable.

Starting point is 00:10:13 Yeah! It's like you came in here to do this. Okay, I'm on edge now. My name's George, and I'm the maintenance supervisor for the family that owns this building and a bunch of others. That's not the Barrett's, is it? No. I don't know who owns this building. Well, fortunately, you probably don't pay the rent.

Starting point is 00:10:36 Yeah, that's a good one. So I was dealing, the building was dealing with cables, new cables upgrading. And there was concern that it might have interrupted some of the electricity coming in. Wait, can you talk into your mic? Yeah. Testing hello? Is that what you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:10:53 Testing hello, hello, two points? Is mine working as well? Yep. All right, cool. This is hysterical. Wait, how long have you been doing this for? I've represented this family for, jeez, close to 40 years. Okay, wow.

Starting point is 00:11:09 In fact, I was with them socially over the weekend, and they asked me to remove the beard. Oh, I thought it was nice. I thought it— Wait, they made you shave your beard? That's your life that you wouldn't have to think about People saying, you know, look, you're a little hairy Yeah, okay I don't need to

Starting point is 00:11:23 I don't need to touch What are you guys doing here? What is this? This is like a podcast It's like a comedy podcast They're the hosts I'm their guest today Oh, damn

Starting point is 00:11:34 Kind of stealing my thunder a little bit That's alright, whatever What is your name? Wait, George Chester Chester Yes Pleasure

Starting point is 00:11:41 Nice to meet you George, can you talk into your mic? Co-guest Co-guest, yeah You got to speak into it. Okay, testing, hello? There we go. Wait, George, can you tell us a little bit about your life?

Starting point is 00:11:53 Yeah. Oh, when you're this old, it's a long story. One thing that I do, actually, and I've been doing it for a while, is magic. That's pretty cool. Are you guys into doing some magic? You're joking. Do you have your magic? You're a magician as well?

Starting point is 00:12:05 What is going on? I mean, that's awesome. Do you actually do magic? I'd love to do a few tricks. Can we see some? Sure. Can I move this? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:14 Sure. I'm Lauren, I'm their producer you're like the boss here you have it in your backpack my work backpack it's better than lugging like a duffel or something yeah, like a social duffel

Starting point is 00:12:29 work backpack, social duffel completely different things this guy's grinding me I'm going to be leaving very soon no, no, no, please this is taking a lot of pressure off me I've been holding onto this pack of cards for a long time this is special but maybe for this very occasion um this is the academy of

Starting point is 00:12:49 magical arts but as you can see chester you can see yeah brand new yeah brand new plastic still on it open these for me or yeah oh yeah yeah i gotta go to you actually okay and we'll just do uh oh here i go oh look at there's laura yeah yeah this is wild we're just talking about motley crew do you know anything about motley crew uh i do yeah okay yeah yeah we know chester's gig i We were wondering if the name of the band Motley Crue came before the phrase Motley Crue. Like, they're a Motley Crue. I don't know the answer to that. I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:13:26 Sorry, there you go. Great, so brand new deck. Let me show you trick number one. Let's get rid of this one. All right. Okay, those jokers out. No, this is just a description of these cards because these are precious.

Starting point is 00:13:49 First trick, let me just channel. This is going to be an ace. What do we got? It looks like it's double-sided. It's double-sided. It's double-sided. It's a double-sided ace. Okay, all right.

Starting point is 00:14:02 This guy's insane. Please, be nice. What? This is new to me. This is a special deck. okay this i'm feeling it now hold on can you tighten this thing yeah i was gonna i was having the same issue that's why they moved you to the good mic the good i'm gonna have to hold this mic this i'm all okay i'm feeling it this is gonna be an ace show me ace ace all right pretty good

Starting point is 00:14:29 pretty good right okay all right i got please can you can you just hold it for him over there i'm holding i'm holding i'm here goes the next one i'm feeling it on the bottom now yeah very high likelihood that we're looking at a joker let's see holy shit it is a joker George, correct me if I'm wrong Are these not just still in order from the past? No, he shuffled them Let's not go there

Starting point is 00:15:00 Thank you, Chester I think I saw him shuffle them No That's not relevant to my magic, okay? Chill out, asshole I'm going to do something with you guys Okay Because you're over here with me

Starting point is 00:15:09 May I move this for a moment? Yeah Okay Yeah, just don't say anything cool Because then we won't be able to hear it I will not say a word Okay Okay

Starting point is 00:15:16 So let me go to the middle of the So I fix buildings I don't normally I fix buildings because I don't normally do this. Okay, so what I want you to do... I feel like you normally do this. There you go, bud.

Starting point is 00:15:30 All right. I want you to... You look that way. Okay. So don't turn to me. What do I do? I want you to hold this card at the top, okay?

Starting point is 00:15:40 Okay, and I'm going to guess it. Shush. Same thing with you, okay? Let me go. I'm in the middle of the deck. I'm going to hold... you hold it with your finger okay all right and don't don't look at each other and you're gonna guess what the card is on there for you chester you're supposed to be on my team no i

Starting point is 00:16:02 am i'm just i'm just clarifying for the audience what the trick is i don't know you i've never met you you leave your card up there two hearts can i look no wait my mind's facing you that's not relevant all right two hearts trust me from where i am right now it's insane what he's doing is fucking insane thank you it's it's very different it feels very simple from your end i'm sure yeah let me think five of clubs astonishing take a look take a look absolutely astonishing he's good george george thank you you got a gift you got a gift yeah Oh, my God. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:16:47 Thank you. And may I have my cards back? Oh, yeah. Sorry. Give me that card. Yep. Sorry. Unbelievable.

Starting point is 00:16:56 Amazing. Quite literally unbelievable. Nice, Cheshire. Okay. Now, this is the, I don't remember the name when my instructor taught me, but this is the, this is the, the super shuffle, you know, where you go back and forth. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:11 Oh, like zigzag. I'm kind of similar to the mega shuffle. Yes. Well, first we'll do the traditional. This would be the traditional. Not the greatest, but now let's do the super fancy one where you go like, oh, shh. This is a prank.

Starting point is 00:17:29 I'm so sorry. I clearly need to work more on this. No, you're good. Maybe before I leave, you can gather these up for me. Yeah, no. I think, yeah. That's kind of all I got now, but I am. Well, you didn't come prepared to do a magic show.

Starting point is 00:17:44 You know, you came here to fix some wires. And I'm going to every room, but I just wanted to make sure that the power was uninterrupted. That's not at all. Yeah, thank you so much for coming by. Do you have like a magician Instagram we can plug or something we can? I'm working on that. Okay. Frankly, at my age, what's Instagram?

Starting point is 00:18:00 No, I'm kidding. I know what Instagram is. I'm just giving you a hard time. Okay. Well, that was really fun. Thank you so much. I feel so bad for interrupting you. No, not at all.

Starting point is 00:18:09 This really spiced up the episode, I'm sure. That's great. Yeah. And do you have any money? Possibly to compensate me. Well, you get paid through the building, right? Surely not. I'm talking about the tricks.

Starting point is 00:18:22 I'm talking about the tricks I just did. Oh. Lauren, do you have any money? I don't have any. Do you have any money at all? I don't have any money. All right, then. I've got two.

Starting point is 00:18:34 Wait, do you want to do it all? I would take two. Okay, yeah, absolutely. That's great. Thank you, thank you. I'm sorry, I don't have anything. No, it's fine. You're a guest anyway.

Starting point is 00:18:44 So it's all good. Yeah. It's all good. Like you and me, we're guests. No, I just happened to fall into this room. That doesn't feel like it. All right. Well, then I'm done.

Starting point is 00:18:55 Yeah. Yeah. You're good. I'm glad everything is working well. Chester, keep that microphone. Keep that microphone much better. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:02 That's probably a good idea. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. All right. Have a good day. Excuse the interruption. My apologies. Oh, it's okay.

Starting point is 00:19:08 Okay, great. Don't worry. Thank you. So what are we, wait, what are we, the wires? Should we? Nothing bad will happen No but there was a concern about the There was a concern about the wiring

Starting point is 00:19:18 And how it could have related to the electrical Okay Got it yeah absolutely Nice to meet you Have a great show Really really cool tricks Great to meet you Nice to meet you George

Starting point is 00:19:33 Nice to meet you Good luck to you George Thank you I need it what the fuck just happened wait are you guys pranking me I thought who was that guy

Starting point is 00:19:50 I thought you Chester I thought you knew him no what no I don't know that was wild that was awesome

Starting point is 00:19:58 that was insane that guy was the man wait let me is he still out there ladies and gentlemen actor Neil Resnick actor we hired him

Starting point is 00:20:09 Neil Resnick, you just got pranked, Lauren. Lauren, you just got pranked big time by the biggest prankster of them all. Thank you so much. No, that was fantastic. That was perfect. Lauren is so confused. Well done. That was awesome.

Starting point is 00:20:26 That was amazing. Yeah. That was great. Yeah. Great job. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, absolutely.

Starting point is 00:20:31 Yeah, great to see you as well. See you again soon. Hope to work together soon. And I'll follow up about, yeah, getting you all sorted out and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Will do. Thank you, Neil. Yep, take care.

Starting point is 00:20:41 Amazing. Amazing. What a guy. You just got pranked, Lauren. You guys love pranking. Get pranked. That was all time. That was a killer prank.

Starting point is 00:20:51 That was an all-time prank. Killer prank. I believed it. Yeah, you didn't know, right? No, I didn't know. Yeah, we hired that guy. You know that man? Yeah, he's Bobby's friend's dad.

Starting point is 00:21:02 Could be the move's friend's dad. When he asked for money, I was like, oh, my God. Yeah. we also had we were we had told him your name so we were if you hadn't introduced yourself he was gonna say lauren at the end and you were gonna be like oh yeah yeah i thought that was perfect this podcast is brought to you by triple triple is the original high seltzer with three milligrams of thc and just 15 to 20 calories triple offers a social buzz similar to that of your favorite hard seltzer light on calories high on life it's all natural gluten-free and again just 15 to 20

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Starting point is 00:22:20 available online nationwide to get it now go to drink triple.com and use code playdate to get 10 off your order that's drink t-r-i-p-l-e.com and use code playdate for 10 off your order triple redefining the party landscape let's get back into the episode lauren uh before we move on i wanted to say your friends are killer oh you liked them yeah we had a red hot yeah again oh money i'm glad they loved you guys too yeah that was a fun night that was a cool bar actually i yes it touched yeah it was it was a cool bar wait i told you guys about my uber driver on friday right no oh yeah you should tell the story this is actually nuts oh my gosh so we're driving to the bar i'm like in the uber with my friend we're going down venice boulevard obviously like you can't go that

Starting point is 00:23:02 fast on there it's like you can drive normally but he's swerving in and out of traffic going like 70 miles per hour i'm like scared for my life i'm like back against my seat like actually nervous and you say anything no because we were kind of chit-chatting beforehand and then i don't know i was just like okay whatever this is like a five minute drive and then we get there and he wanted to turn his car around so we could just like leave right after we got out of the car and so he's trying to do like a three-point turn and as he's veering left to then proceed to go backwards this like tiny little car tries to basically cut him off and like go around him even though he's trying to turn around and they're like beefing in the car like swearing at each

Starting point is 00:23:44 other and then he gets out of the car starts kicking it and punching the car they're like hey like what the like just screaming at each other the other person's car punching the punching the window freaking out and everyone so this is at whaler everyone is staring everyone outside everyone on the roof like everyone has seen this occurring and then me my friend got out of the car feeling like celebrities because everyone's like that was your uber driver and i'm like yeah i was fucking scared like oh my god he had like like trying to lift the car up crazy anger issues and like i wanted to report him because like he should not be driving uber like i was genuinely scared for like my life but how's the chit chat before all this well we were talking

Starting point is 00:24:23 about the kendrick drake beef because he was playing kendrick and then it just got brought up and then he knew like everything about that he said he was from toronto and had like all this like weird information that i feel like the general public does not have um so it was kind of funny do you think it was trustworthy information like kind of he sounds like a trustworthy guy He sounds legit. He sounds killer. I don't know, but yeah, that was eventful. Damn.

Starting point is 00:24:48 Sorry you had to go. That is a very public place for that to happen. Yeah, it's like all bars. It's like a coliseum of drunk people looking down at these two people battling it out. That's hysterical. Should we hear some pitches? Yeah, dude. I feel like the whole first ten minutes, I was just nervous.

Starting point is 00:25:05 I was trying to get the stories that I wanted to get out. I actually forgot about that bit even, that that was going to happen. Really? Yeah. When he touched your chin, that was funny. That was great. Yeah, for you. You were like, wow, okay.

Starting point is 00:25:19 Okay. No, he was great. He was, I was impressed. Yeah. He really held his own. Yeah. All right, Chester, if you're not familiar, this is where we hear. Oh, this is like, we do like characters, right?

Starting point is 00:25:30 Shark Tank. Like this is like. It's other. Which one's the other part? Oh. It's fine. I know it looks. Liam and Will, right?

Starting point is 00:25:37 We replicated their studio. Will and Liam? Okay. No, well, Will. Yeah. progress got it um yeah i uh you've you've listened what what's that yeah we're gonna hear oh yeah we gotta why don't you hear the roadmap we gotta rm it up he always has a roadmap of like what's gonna happen okay yeah roadmap we have the pitches from the playmates our pitches we're gonna

Starting point is 00:26:03 do uh a couple am i the assholes do we have anyone that is calling yeah we also if you were the guy this morning did you guys get these on your phone no somehow when people call playdate it like even if i don't have instagram open it just calls so this guy was this guy called us 30 times this morning and i picked up one to be like what and then he was like hello no it's like all right we're not doing this he caught like he can get through to like my phone when it was like off and it was just yeah that is weird that if you definitely turn that off i'm gonna be a way to change that if you were that guy stop doing it just said l like the the name was just l or like you took an l yeah it kind of feels like you took an l yeah then uh we have am i the

Starting point is 00:26:47 assholes two two am i the assholes wait i don't know what am i the asshole we call our uh we call our we call our playmates and we hear about their problems and then we talk them through it oh cool and then we are gonna play we have two segments for you chester we're gonna play did royce say this and it's going to be either uh we do this every episode something everyone that royce said or royce did not say you tell us if you did it and then we are going to do what would royce do where we give you a couple scenarios you tell us how royce would react then we have everyone's hit favorite segment teach me something uh followed by this guy rocks and then reality shows that don't exist and sayings that don't exist i was like 12 we've been wow i am running

Starting point is 00:27:30 the gauntlet i also i got there's your title royce dupont runs the gauntlet runs the gauntlet the playdate runs the playdate also if you're if you're not familiar chester has a character called royce dupont who would you like to explain him to people uh yeah i i i play like a motivational fake motivational speaker uh and uh kind of in the vein of andy elliott and andrew Tate and those assholes I uh do you know I try to me and Zach parody that what's up saw that Goggins guy yes oh yeah fuck yeah you uh yeah he was walking down Rose Ave I know I almost like sprinted after you guys because that would have been like an all-time collab yeah he does that kind of stuff too I don't really know who that is he's like he's like real he's real he's selling

Starting point is 00:28:16 anything yeah he's real he's like you know like Billy does like the running videos where he's running yeah looking at the camera that's based directly off like David Goggins does that he's like got it he's a freak he like wakes up at like 2 a.m every morning and works out uh and like i don't know he's got like he's actually like not even like someone that we would make fun of because he's actually like a effective motivational speaker who's not like got this like weird ego trip he just like wants people to be better better and he like he actually wants like the best for you yeah there was a story about him where there was a it was teams of four and it was how many miles can you run in 24 hours

Starting point is 00:28:56 and, like, you would switch off. And he ran it by himself and came in, like, fourth. Jesus. No, he's a freak. Like, when he was done, apparently, like, all the bones in his feet were broken. Like, he's just, like, he's just wired a little bit. He sounds B.A.

Starting point is 00:29:11 Yeah. No, no, he is, like, the definition of badass. Like, I don't know. Something clearly happened in his childhood. Like, it's crazy. All right, let's hear some pitches, Lauren. Let's hear them. all right first one is from john mccabe he says what's up squilliam fancy sin and rust belt

Starting point is 00:29:28 feather duster nice it's johnny b here let me ask you something what is the worst part about living in your first apartment let's think about this guys what's the worst part termites um you don't you don't you don't have any stuff yet yeah you have nowhere to sit like i remember the first month before our couch came we were sitting in cardboard boxes that we made into chairs yeah yeah at that point i would just sit on the floor like why even what's what is it back gonna go yeah um i mean i don't know probably like probably probably probably like scared of ghosts scared of new ghosts true new ghosts oh shit new ghost drop i don't know i feel like it's kind of with the stuff in the arena like the stuff you also like your first apartment you

Starting point is 00:30:16 haven't like compiled like a bunch of decorations from previous apartments you don't there's no personality to the home like everything you're buying is like or it's like it's left there from previous owners like our apartment for instance yeah half the stuff is uh left over from like previous tenants and i don't know it works we like it but like i don't know there's yeah you haven't really had much time to build a personality yeah for the interior what does jb think um he's having to hand wash dishes i don't think everyone can relate wait why that seems specific to i can relate to this do you have you don't have a dishwasher yeah i can actually actually the first two apartments i had i did not have a dishwasher and i didn't have a lawn i didn't

Starting point is 00:30:56 have like a where'd you do your washer dryer so like you but i lived in new york where that was pretty standard uh for like a little laundromat yeah you go to the laundromat okay so what is what is john pitching he says yeah dishwasher with the driveway wanderson all these problems literally go away this first of its kind lint roller adjacent tool will clean all your dishes in the grimiest of stains with just one swipe proprietary technology will wash scrub and dry your dishes in maximum speed this will maximize any owner's entertainment time and minimize cleanup time get your driveway wanderson today so he it's a it's a wand and you roll it over the plate and it takes all the food off and cleans it so i mean it sounds great i don't i don't know

Starting point is 00:31:42 how we'd make that is i feel like that is just a really ineffective way to clean i mean if it worked it'd be really effective yeah but i feel like maybe a dishwasher could be another option yeah but he doesn't have one it's like he also doesn't have a michael wanderson or something yeah um all right i yeah i like where your head's at yeah i don't know if i love where do we score the pitches is that how this works it's a dollar amount out of 200 uh 47 72 i'd give i'll give it 85 okay 72 bones let's do the next one um all right long okay this next one is from ryan good he says window blinds are boring and unoriginal all brands are the same i introduced to you the myriad or myriad blind app these are blinds where you can

Starting point is 00:32:31 change the color or style affecting the light coming into your home with a simple click of a button from your phone if the vibes are high on game day you're bringing in the colors of your favorite team if the fellows want to watch a movie you can dim them to straight black omitting any light and turning your home into a theater you can also display an image or video against the opposite wall from the window i know you guys are high level and can figure it out will had will had something similar i literally pitched digital curtains like a month and a half no you didn't on this podcast it was it was longer than that but it was when you were like my neighbors can see whatever i'm watching so will would have it like that the curtains would

Starting point is 00:33:06 yeah yeah like you know like where our t if we're watching tv like the neighbors can like watch us yeah so you put the digital curtains on and just so wait so we'd be watching the curtains god no or they'd be watching they'd be watching the curtain so it's like a digital screen on the other side of the curtain yeah we can make it look watch why do we why do we want to draw attention to our window we make it look like we're not there yeah it would just look like our living room but with no one there oh okay cool well this one's from the inside so i guess that's where i guess yeah see he's i think he's talking about something you can experience from within like This is for your entertainment, because you can, like, chain.

Starting point is 00:33:43 Yeah, fair enough. All right, Chester, do you want to pitch us? Yeah, mine already exists, but mirrors that don't fog. It's actually, I feel like that should exist. That happened this morning. I honestly came up with it, like, 20 minutes before this. I didn't have time to do much research, but I feel like it probably. What research would you have done?

Starting point is 00:34:06 It probably exists, in which case I then would like to pose to you, Sharks, the idea of fog that doesn't stick so just say if i cover all my bases here if the if the fogless mirror already exists i will do water that does not condense the surfaces so i'm calling for the end of condensation that's my platform and i'm running on it no i agree this happens in our bathroom pretty bad yeah it's horrible because we have a kind of like a tight yeah it's tight it's a killer you got a type b you got type b room type b room um and uh sometimes i'm in the shower and it feels like a race against time to like yeah done showering so that i can look at myself in the mirror before it yeah yeah yeah you got to take really quick showers open the window

Starting point is 00:34:52 yeah well what do you got i got a really good one knowing me okay yep all right what is ever what's everyone's favorite kind of soup alphabet soup chicken noodle alphabet soup right everyone loves alphabet soup because it's fun because you can do words and like letters and stuff yeah with your soup why not extrapolate that to more stuff and that is why i present a whole line of alphabet foods we're talking about alphabet pasta alphabet what's in alphabet soup yeah but alphabet like snacks like alphabet cookies alphabet chips alphabet vegetables alphabet deli meats alphabet bread alphabet but deli meats yeah they're cut like letters i'm just in the inside of this hand which you could spell a word as you stack it up

Starting point is 00:35:45 that's fun that's fun you could spell ham with ham and then put it in the same ham with turkey You can probably have them with turkey. What about Jenga food? All food that you can play Jenga with. I like that, too. Deli meat. Jenga cheese. Jenga bread.

Starting point is 00:36:03 This is good, too. I mean, make eating more fun. Make eating more fun. Is what we're saying. You can't be clearer about that. Monopoly food? You want Monopoly food? We'll give you Monopoly food.

Starting point is 00:36:13 Monopoly hot dogs? Monopoly. Now, that's fun and delicious. Imagine a sari burger. Come on. Come on. Risk tacos? None of these mean anything.

Starting point is 00:36:24 Calculating route to avoid seeing poverty. Turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street. Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away. Then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention.

Starting point is 00:36:51 Donate today at unitedwaygt.org Hopscotch pasta You look over All your food's on the floor And you're jumping through it It's a total mess, but it's a lot of fun Foods are us That's the store that sells all this stuff

Starting point is 00:37:18 Kettle corn of Catan um all right do either of you guys have it do either of you guys have a tv in your bedroom no i'm in a studio so like yes do you watch tv when you're like going to bed yeah so like you know how you ever uh you're looking at the tv when you're trying to go to bed and you're like eyes hurt yes yeah yeah something i deal with your eyes are bleeding you ever watch tv i deal with every night your eyes are bleeding and like i've tried like wearing blue light glasses but then it's like i kind of want to fall asleep while i'm doing it so it's like a weird thing it's an eye mask that at night it uh it dims the tv so and then it slowly fades to black as you

Starting point is 00:37:59 fall asleep now it's an eye mask blocking all the light and then as you wake up as the sun comes up it clears back up so you're you're awoken by the sunlight coming in i like that i think there i I think there's a not TV version of that, like, that, like, slowly brightens in the morning. Oh, interesting. Maybe, but I think that's... No, this doesn't brighten. It just clears. It just reveals.

Starting point is 00:38:19 Yeah, yeah, that's great. Thank you. I love that. What about, yeah, what about blue light lenses, like, contact lenses? Ooh. So, like, hold on a second. So they go, like, when you get tired, they just go all black. It looks like your pupils just dilated all the way.

Starting point is 00:38:37 Do you have a kid in your elementary school that had those transition glasses? Transition contact lenses? Yeah, I always thought it was funny. On a really bright day, he'd come in from recess and it was halfway through language arts before he wasn't wearing sunglasses anymore. It took a while for them to read glasses.

Starting point is 00:38:55 Wait, they have glasses that turn into sunglasses? These are normal glasses. When he goes outside, they turn into sunglasses. And he would come back in, and I remember just laughing because it was like 30 minutes into class, and he's still just like that's awesome alright should we hear

Starting point is 00:39:13 should we hear some Am I the Asshole's Learn I just wanted to look that up wait that's Chet Chet I bet you did you never have transitions I never had transitions I could have pegged you as a transition

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Starting point is 00:40:49 resources fellas blink if you haven't purchased a father's day gift yet yeah that's what i thought today's episode is brought to you by manscaped the leaders in below the waist grooming maybe your pops has had a bush since the 70s and that's okay our friends at manscaped have crafted the total package for his special day whether it's for the boys downstairs his beard or even the best pair of underwear out there manscaped has his bases covered head over to manscaped.com and get 20% off plus free shipping with code PLAYDATE from daddy to zaddy. Trust Manscaped for all of his grooming needs.

Starting point is 00:41:27 I think it's fun that we get to talk about Manscaped because we are kind of in two opposite ends of the manscaping spectrum. You're like the hairiest guy of all time. Yeah. And I'm like a little baby boy in terms of my hairiness. You know, I've utilized my Manscaped, but I feel like this is like really up your alley.

Starting point is 00:41:43 I get a little skittish with, you know, sharp things around my boys. Yeah. You know, my family jewels. yeah i know what you're saying this one has like a safeguard thing that doesn't let you like nick yourself and i'm just going to town down there wow get 20 off plus free shipping with the code playdate at manscape.com that's 20 off with free shipping at manscape.com and use code playdate never forget where you came from if you know what i mean happy father's day from manscaped let's get

Starting point is 00:42:12 back into the episode um all right you want to do it by the assholes all right you want to hear some Am I the Assholes? Yes. Remind me how this segment works again? We determine if someone's an asshole. So people,

Starting point is 00:42:23 yeah, we started it from the Reddit. It's kind of, it's kind of just turned into Playmates calling in with fun stories where they know they're not the asshole

Starting point is 00:42:30 but they just like need to tell us this fun story. Got it. I'm, do you want to call the guy first or do the other one? Well,

Starting point is 00:42:36 what do you want? Let's call the guy. Call that motherfucker. You are off the rails today. I know, I'm nuts. Neil said, thank you so much.

Starting point is 00:42:44 I hope that went well. He came in hot for sure. all right so i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do some background so this is from uh red it's gonna be his name that's my uber eats name is red foreman yeah mine's hunter yeah will's hunter biden but he's like worried that people are gonna start like anthraxing his food wait what do you mean your uber eats name like when like when like when you're when you're doing uber eats like on the side like when i when i get it delivered it always says like red foreman on it like because i just put my name as red foreman oh interesting that's and then when i get into

Starting point is 00:43:18 the car like every couple times where i'm like leaving the bar and i forget that my uber name is red yeah i'll get in they'll be like they'll be like uber for red and i'm like no well that happened you remember we got in the car yesterday a few days ago and the guy was like hunter and you're like what hunter and i was on the phone oh yeah yeah yeah it's because i made it hunter biden right didn't yours used to be your grandma's name yeah thankfully she had a gender neutral name yeah what was it does pat yeah nice uber for pat all right let's get it all right so he says what up homies i have a crazy story for y'all i was gonna pose this as an am i the asshole but i figure while i want to know i'm not the asshole feel free what is going on whoa my dm's just

Starting point is 00:43:59 turned to vanish mode that's weird um oh it just did it you're trying to hide i don't even touch anything feel free to call if you want to work from home okay what that's irrelevant so this stories about my ex we went high school and started dating in college freshman year after dating for a year she left me for another dude bummer but quickly realized her mistake and ran back to me we were on and off again for another five to six years when i finally decided to propose we were engaged for another for two years before we got married but about a year into the engagement she all of a sudden has this new friend from work um okay now he wants me to call him This is juicy.

Starting point is 00:44:34 This is pretty good, right? We get a lot of, like, just, like, relationship stuff. Hello. Hello, mate. Hello. How's it going? Oh, shit. What's up?

Starting point is 00:44:47 How are you? Good, man. I read your little blurb you sent if you wanted to finish the story. Okay, cool. So, this is weird. Okay, so y'all are at the point now. right where she has new friend from work new friend from work right yeah so we've been like engaged for about a year now and wait you're current you're still currently engaged right

Starting point is 00:45:15 no no so i'm engaged to uh someone new so kind of spoiler for the end of the story fuck that's my bad it's all good uh so yeah so she starts like hanging around with this new guy and just to be clear like we were on and off for like years because i like because of that first time we broke up like i kept like thinking like she was gonna end up leaving me for some other dude whatever so this new friend i'm immediately suspicious of but i'm like you know what we're engaged let me get past all this shit whatever and the dude has a girlfriend so i was like okay whatever but they're like hanging out after work he came over the house where are they where are they hanging after work like i guess like in the parking lot they were like smoking chilling after

Starting point is 00:46:03 work which was like i guess normal for friends to hang out like sometimes you go chill and smoke in a car whatever the fuck yeah yeah i hang out with my friends but yeah yeah so yeah so like i met the guy he's at the house i even helped to try and get him like a new job because he was like only part-time there i'm helping the guy out whatever so fast forward maybe like to a month or two before the wedding and one night i'm like feeling suspicious again over this dude and just some that's been going on so i checked her phone when she was sleeping and i came across like some texts that were like sexting texts between him and her damn so i was like shit so obviously have a whole big blowout whole big conversations wait how did you how did you

Starting point is 00:47:05 confront her i mean she was sleeping so i just kind of like woke her up and like i didn't know what to say so she just like kept asking and then i just said it just like asked what was going on and um long story short there like we kind of just like got past it it was like she blamed the whole thing on like covid and that she's bored and that it was a one-time thing i i was you know i was kind of just you know i was invested in the house and all my stuff was there and i was just like you know am i really gonna throw this all away over a little text you know whatever it may be big mistake obviously yeah so we end up getting married um oh shit supposedly the guy ends up trying to like kill himself on our wedding oh my god doesn't doesn't but like it was a big

Starting point is 00:48:04 deal he's like blowing up the phones blowing up they don't work together anymore he left he got fired or something so now we're married whatever and 10 months go by and like over the 10 months she just like my friends didn't even notice she starts to like get really mean towards me and just like almost like doesn't like me being around which is very strange and then i remember one day it was like in december it was cold and we come home and we're binge watching the office you guys watch i think you guys said you watched the office right yeah i love michael scott you know the episode where angela like confesses that she's been cheating with dwight yeah yep so we were watching that episode so she must have been feeling

Starting point is 00:48:53 inspired or something she pauses the episode is like i need to tell you something i've been cheating on you i was like what the fuck so as it turns out she was cheating on me the whole time oh prior to the wedding after the wedding all this other stuff so what she said was that the guy had been texting her all day threatening her to come to my house and like cut my break lines and threatening her to like keep continuing with the affair because he had videos of the affair that he was going to send to me

Starting point is 00:49:41 and like ruin the match. He was going to try and kill you for Yeah. Yeah. Because I guess he was like jealous that I was like living the life Yeah. Oh my god. I think you're the asshole.

Starting point is 00:49:58 I'm just kidding. Alright. I'm sorry. That's not even the crazy part. I'm just like, yo, send me the videos. Fuck this dude. Like, he won. Obviously, I got to just leave and clear my head.

Starting point is 00:50:13 I left. I went to my friend's house. He ends up sending me the videos. Unfortunately, I saw them. And her whole thing was, oh, he's using the videos to blackmail me, but didn't look like someone who didn't want to be involved in a video, is all I'm going to say. So all this happens.

Starting point is 00:50:34 obviously I go back the next day I'm saying I'm moving out I want a divorce this is just what's gonna happen so I'm like taking it like an adult I'm like you need to obviously you got a lot of shit going on we're both adults let's just move past this you need to heal as far away from me as possible I just want to be done with you like this is it so a few months go by I'm out I'm chill with my friends i'm still like talking to her because like i want to be like amicable to like get her to sign the divorce papers and all this other stuff right so then i'm at a concert oh there's like a whole incident with the guy too where she like went to his house and got pushed i don't really know a lot of details but it's important because she got like a letter like

Starting point is 00:51:24 like not a restraining order but like something like that to say that he can't be near her probably and then i'm in the city and he texts me from like a random number and it's like someone's at your house and it's not you wait what like i literally don't care like she's your problem dude like you won like just i don't care so i texted her and i was like yo just so you know i think you drove past your house you should probably keep on the lookout she's like okay cool thanks for letting me know so then she goes what the fuck he smashed in my car windows oh this guy sounds out of his car sees another car in the driveway thinking it's another dude meanwhile it's just her mom smashes his car windows in a jealous rage and leaves

Starting point is 00:52:20 so now she sends me pictures and everything she calls me like a half hour later freaking out saying that he left her a bunch of messages saying that he's gonna come to my house because he knows where i live because he got my address off of my resume on linkedin or something so i'm in the city i'm in the city like new york city um i have to go home and now i'm like on my way home thinking this guy is like gonna pop out the bushes or some shit like i don't know what this dude is capable like bipolar off meds like why is he mad at you i don't understand i feel like you've done because i ruined everything like i'm blocking him from having the dream girl even if we're divorced you know she's still like in love with me and can't be with him because of me i don't i i can't question

Starting point is 00:53:08 the rationale of a psychopath you know this isn't like this isn't super important but just so i can like paint myself a word picture what does this guy look like i i don't know his is he's like i don't really know how to describe is he hot without like i don't think he is he's kind of like a like a nerdy looking dude at the time he had like long slick black back uh black hair and like ponytail ponytail this guy sounds righteous yeah glasses uh yeah like he wasn't like a crazy good looking dude he was just like you know if there are no if there are no weapons who's winning in a in a hand-to-hand fight you or him i mean easily i mean honestly i'll give it to the dude we probably would have put a pair of fight but like the pure rage from both of us it would have

Starting point is 00:54:01 been good like like two two two like collapsing sons hitting each other the craziest part of this is so the guy had a restraining order right so she calls the police right and says go to this guy's house to arrest him because he obviously violated the restraining order the police go to his house and he never comes home because he crashed into a tree and fucking died whoa he died so what happened when he left that house was he drove to his current girlfriend's house in a manic rage and was like get in the car you need to come on a trip with me you need to go we need to get out of here and she's like i'm not going with you what are you talking about the girl mind you was also invited to the wedding crazy what so she ends up not going

Starting point is 00:54:52 with him don't know probably on drugs drinking whatever veers off the veers off the road smacks into a tree and dies so thank god she didn't go with him well yeah of course yeah so now i find this out the next morning like i'm out you know with my friends doing whatever i get a voicemail from my ex and it's like the voice to text and it's just like i'm just like skimming it and it just says he's dead and it's my fault and i'm like wait what the fuck so yeah that's what happened and so here's the part where i was gonna be like am i the asshole but i was like hmm because i would never ever wish harm on anybody i would never wish death especially on anybody but it happened yeah so like you had nothing to do with not caring and just thinking karma's a

Starting point is 00:55:55 bitch no i don't you're in like a modern day like shakespeare play it sounds like are you are you saying that you that he feels considered you now feel like a little bit of you's like karma's a bitch i feel like karma's a bitch like honestly when it happened like i didn't know how to feel like for like an hour and a half i like did not say a word because it was just like ethically am i like supposed to be happy that this dude is dead no no but um but but can sympathize with that This dude kind of ruined my marriage and completely did a 180 on my whole life. You know, this year, this relationship was a decade of my life. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:56:43 Out of the drain. I think, I think like being indifferent towards it is probably as far as you want to go. I don't think you would be, you don't want to be like celebrating that, but that's like definitely not your fault. I'm not like throwing parties, you know? Yeah. Jesus. yes well the last cherry on top of this is a few weeks later where i get a bunch of calls from my

Starting point is 00:57:10 ex and i'm like i'm eating dinner is this an emergency what's going on and she's like i need you to call me so i call her i'm just like what and she's like they kicked me out and i'm like what are you talking about they're like they kicked me out they kicked me out i just wanted to say goodbye and i'm like wait a minute oh go to the wake and she's like i just wanted to say goodbye and i'm like oh my god this is like gossip girl i'm not the person you need to be having this conversation with yeah you need to go talk to somebody else about this but what had happened apparently was she but the family blames her for all this that happened and she reached out to the family and she's like can i come they said no and she went anyway and got kicked out of a week

Starting point is 00:58:03 she's yeah i think this girl is bad news i think you should oh 100 yeah 100 she's the asshole in this story the whole time she's like i can't believe you don't want to go to couples therapy i can't believe you don't want to try and work this out after everything we've been through it's like i had one rule like literally one rule and that was to not cheat on me and you did you did that so holy shit all right feel bad about it yeah i don't think you i don't think you should feel bad but that is i'm sorry you had to go through all that yeah that sounds brutal man don't don't don't be sorry i had to go through all that shit to get to where i'm at you sound like a good guy yeah honestly i got a fantastic wonderful new girl with me

Starting point is 00:58:47 we're engaged and life's good man i had to go through all that to get to where i'm at so i'm happy you're not an asshole man that is uh that's a yeah crazy story but uh i don't think i don't think you should feel bad about the way you feel and you know i think having that knee-jerk thought is pretty natural but it clearly it isn't the way you actually feel so you're not an asshole yeah appreciate that appreciate yeah thank you for calling in man and uh yeah rusty like so i know you like pirates yeah wait sorry say it again do you watch black sails no what is that a tv show on that show with the last name featherstone that's pretty cool i might have to wait what is it on uh netflix all right i will be watching that tonight all right black sails i think it's

Starting point is 00:59:38 on hbl max i don't know pretty sure maybe not i don't know sorry find out all right uh we're gonna we're gonna break this down and then you can uh listen to it on wednesday thank you for calling in appreciate it guys yeah take care have a good day bye whoa holy shit that was do you guys what is this podcast we've never had something like that it's like a self-help podcast or something people call in like and tell you like horrific stories That's never happened. You hold their hand through tragedies?

Starting point is 01:00:10 Yeah, usually they're... What is the play date? Who are you guys? Usually they're not that crazy. That was a crazy story. I feel horrible for that guy. That guy got put through the wringer. Good storyteller, though.

Starting point is 01:00:21 Yeah. He was a good storyteller. Like, captivating. I would say... I'm going to go not the asshole. I think I have to sign off on that one as well.

Starting point is 01:00:30 Yeah, I'm going to go not the asshole. What a nightmare woman. Yeah. I know. Yeah, Jesus Christ. Every part of that was just horrible. It just got worse and worse.

Starting point is 01:00:40 But you kind of kept saying, wait a minute, this is the best part. A bit like tongue in cheek. I think the one bright spot is that his new girlfriend didn't get in the car. I thought it was going to be like a Stan, that Eminem song Stan situation. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Good comp.

Starting point is 01:01:01 Yeah, thank you. Okay, well, I have the other one if we want to do that quickly. Yeah, let's hear the other one. It's much more lighthearted. so that'll get the also there's no way there's no way we could have predicted

Starting point is 01:01:09 that it was gonna go in that direction I know I mean I'm down for a dark one again I feel like I did some good today yeah

Starting point is 01:01:16 yeah okay so I feel like through this segment I've learned that a lot more playmates are like married

Starting point is 01:01:25 and have like gone through much more life than we would have thought yeah yeah we have your youth and your

Starting point is 01:01:33 your youthful voices and ideas and inspire something in them. They can live vicariously through you guys. Perhaps. That's how I feel whenever I watch the podcast. What's the most Playdate you've ever watched? 150. Probably 20.

Starting point is 01:01:52 20? 20 seconds? 20. Just 20. 20. 20. He did watch 20 that one time. I remember that, yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:01 Okay, wait. So I want to read one of these, but you know that thing i sent to you guys last week yeah i forget what it was but i read it yeah it was funny okay this is from okay fake name uh crack crank crank crank crank crenter hey fellas and miss lauren this is more of a would i be an asshole but my job recently started making us come into the office three days a week and they've been remote for three years this lady who sits behind me keeps singing she's not on my team so i don't know who her manager is but do i say something and what would i even say without sounding like a total ass do you guys want to

Starting point is 01:02:36 role play this this is how rusty feels every day singing you guys you're you're crank okay you're crank's manager i'm this lady who's singing okay what song should i sing karma's a bitch hey can you stop singing yeah whoa whoa that's my fucking employee there yeah but she's no no no but no butts that's my employee I tell her when to stop singing okay not you me can you tell her to stop singing karma's a bitch I should have known better

Starting point is 01:03:09 tell her to stop singing tell her she's a freak if I had a wish I would have never let you down stop singing that's it when I saw those pics of you and her I thought that I'd freak stop singing

Starting point is 01:03:24 she's still singing Mr. Manager Karma's a bitch You're promoted You're promoted You're taking my job now Fuck You got promoted

Starting point is 01:03:34 That was kind of good That was good role play I think we handled it No like that was good singing That's exactly how it would go down If you were to do it And if you were to do it You would be

Starting point is 01:03:42 The asshole The asshole Yeah So he can't tell her to stop? No I think you I think you The manager will freak out We just saw

Starting point is 01:03:50 Ready? Do we have to do it again? Okay I think she missed it Start over You're the singer now Here's how I would what's his name crank here's how i would do it i got 99 problems and they are bitches karma's a

Starting point is 01:04:03 bitch you just sing louder than her okay i should have known better i wish i was jigger man carefree living but i'm not sure now that she's back in the atmosphere i'm not clean the manager comes in no i think i think you i think you have to you have to start singing when she's not singing you sing yeah you let her know how like frustrating it is 100 yeah yeah i don't think you'd be an asshole actually i'm gonna take my vote i don't know it's kind of an awkward if you don't know the person that's kind of an awkward like yeah i guess it comes down to like how old you could just politely be like hey could you shut the shut the fuck up hey can you politely shut the fuck up yeah something like that something like that let's hear uh let's hear the poison or food

Starting point is 01:04:47 what never mind speaking of food cheating of food this is from uh trip all right that's actually his name i said it's am i the asshole am i the asshole for embarrassing a customer hey rusty in the feather stones i've worked i've worked at a comedy club in raleigh for close to three years i've been a server for most of that one night i had a really rude customer he would shake his glass full of ice when he wanted a refill he would snap his fingers to get my attention that is awesome that's kind of killer this guy rolls and he put his hand in the middle of my chest and i was walking by towards that's that's not killer that's just not that's a 180 towards the end of the night it was time to pay the check usually if a card declines i'll try to be discreet so i can grab

Starting point is 01:05:40 another card this guy had been rude all night and his card declined i turned the ipad brightness all the way up turned it around for him to see and said loud enough for the tables around here sir your card declined do you have another way to pay he started fumbling with his wallet and got all red-faced and eventually his date ended up paying am i the asshole absolutely not that's how the response oh he was on a date did i miss that oh great yeah shaking your glass at a waiter is so funny shaking a glass and groping you yeah the groping part was like a crazy i think this is a guy trip oh it's a trip's a dude yeah oh and so he just planted it on the guy's chest i mean i guess that's still groping but yeah i should get groped yeah touching him yeah no you should never

Starting point is 01:06:22 touch it but the shake yeah that it sounds like trip handled that perfectly yeah that's exactly what i would do so no you're not there that was a very level-headed uh comeback yeah um not the asshole at all through gamified snacking final boss sour challenges its fans to embrace the satisfying sting of sour. In a snacking realm full of sameness and junk, Final Boss Sour delivers a five-ingredient, clean-eating, natural product that is better tasting and more exciting than anything on the market. Its products contain whole dried fruits and a proprietary blend of acids that can sour its products to four levels of delightful pain. Founded by the team that incubated Dollar Shave Club and Liquid Death, Final Boss Sour in its first six months has

Starting point is 01:07:07 scaled to be the most followed sour brand on YouTube and a dominant player online in the sour candy, dried fruit, and fruit snacks space. I just was eating the level 1 strawberry and now I guess I have to go level 2 now, but I'm not.

Starting point is 01:07:23 I'm scared. I like the strawberry ones the best, but they are sour as all get out. I love the strawberry one. Here we go. Level 2. It's real dried fruit. No artificial ingredients. Let me give level 3 a shot. Oh! Oh, oh, oh, I don't know if I can do level three.

Starting point is 01:07:42 Oh, it doesn't feel like, oh, I'm trying level three. Level one is definitely not considerably less sour. Like this is still very sour. Give Final Boss Sour products a shot today by going to finalbosssour.com and use code playdate for 25% off your first order. that's finalbosssour.com and use code PLAYDATE for 25% off your first order Final Boss Sour

Starting point is 01:08:08 dare to embrace the sour let's get back into the episode do you guys want to teach me something or this guy rocks uh I don't think I got told about this guy rocks do you have like a guy that rocks from online wait you can have one of mine no I actually might have one

Starting point is 01:08:23 it's just like a guy we found online it's just like we found a guy online that rocks oh damn I would have had fun with this yeah I kind of forgot Wait, I sent it to Brian. Can we do that maybe later? Let me think about it. Yeah, sure.

Starting point is 01:08:36 Or wait. Well, we can do ours and then. Okay, yeah. Mine, I did not realize. When I bookmarked it, it did not have that many listens, but now this went like insanely viral, I think. Okay. But it's still really, it's the funniest video of all time.

Starting point is 01:08:52 All right. Have you seen this of the baby? Who wants to go to the Four Seasons Orlando? Me! I would be delighted, mother. To accompany you on this exhilarating excursion to the Four Seasons, Orlando, I will be sure to pack the required necessities for our trip. My excitement is palpable.

Starting point is 01:09:18 I said this to you guys yesterday. Did you? Yeah. Play it again. The opening scene is like insane. Who wants to go to the Four Seasons, Orlando? Me! i would be delighted mother to accompany you

Starting point is 01:09:33 lauren i just slacked you i slacked brian two of them um the first one is a guy uh and he does this thing where you can just click it it's like a guy being like i i quit my job to wait pause it pause it pause it pause it pause it pause it so for the for the audio listeners It says, sold my house, all my belongings, and left my family to chase my dream of being the next country star. Was it worth it? He looks the part. Calculating route to avoid seeing poverty. Turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street.

Starting point is 01:10:12 Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away. Then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention. Donate today at UnitedWayGT.org. Met a girl and a boy, she had blue jeans and a coat and a beard. And then my second one is this, she's this woman.

Starting point is 01:10:54 i have i have yet to figure out like um what country she's from i can't tell if she's putting this accent on because she thinks that's what harry potter like british people sound like okay but basically this one is uh if i was on the hogwarts express in harry's second year at hogwarts okay and this is how she would have acted oh hello yes oh my god i brought up other beer just for you. There you go. Oh my god, yes, I had the best holiday. What about you? What was that? Oh my god, it's Harry and Ron flying in a car. Oh my god, it's a mystery to me how they They make it through first year.

Starting point is 01:11:45 I am excited to see if they're going to make it through another year. Let's go back to chit-chatting. Kill her. Let's go back to chit-chatting. She's red hot, obviously. I'm trying to see if I got anything. Oh, man. You got any guys that rock?

Starting point is 01:12:02 I mean, I do have this duo that does really... Let's see it. Slack it to Brian. Wait, hold on a second. It is a mystery to me how they made it through first year. oh wow that's harry and ron flying through there harry and ron flying in a car you see this guy crows

Starting point is 01:12:20 returning from a cornfield alright this guy kinda rocks slack it to brian met a girl in a bar she had blue jeans and a cold beer who to? brian baker when i taste key i watched shrek last night

Starting point is 01:12:36 i hadn't seen it in a really long time it's good dude You know they sell all four of them on Apple TV for like $29? What do we watch it on? You guys have... We bought it for $23. No, we did not, did we? We bought just the one.

Starting point is 01:12:51 For the one? No, we watched it on... I think we had a streaming service that had it. Yeah, the best part about... Have you ever seen Will and Chester's TV setup? No. Whoever was Airbnb-ing their house before it became a rental, no one logged out.

Starting point is 01:13:06 So they have every single streaming service, and it's just like strangers but they're all different it was an airbnb one or two of them is my account but it's because it was an airbnb it's like they're not it's all different people like every streaming service is a different families oh that's like whatever family happened to need that one when they were staying there kind of thing is netflix the only service that does the whole like household i think so yeah really and that's the one that he pays for which youtube tv does it too oh we also have youtube tv yeah youtube tv is annoying because it'll be like they're yeah oh i was also gonna tell i i was gonna that thing that noah khan posted last week

Starting point is 01:13:42 oh yeah i had made a note to talk about he posted uh we'll put it we'll put it right here but it he tweeted like he's headlining this festival in connecticut and he tweeted like couldn't get in because i forgot my wristband last year and now i'm headlining like what a world and that's a reference to i accidentally took his wristband ever tell you that story oh no yeah so it was that it was like a year and a half ago at this festival and i had i had a short-lived friendship with noah khan yeah and uh he got did you guys golf together once we did golf together and he got my ex-girlfriend a wristband to this festival that we were going to and uh when we went in we were like with his brother and when we were like checking in they fucked up and somehow they gave

Starting point is 01:14:25 my ex-girlfriend an artist wristband yeah it was for noah and we had no idea and so we just like went in we went and we were watching zach bryan and he showed up and they wouldn't let him in because my ex-girlfriend was wearing his wristband and so i i had no idea we're in the pit for zach bryan and he had come to see zach bryan and zach bryan had come out in a noah khan shirt they'd never met and he missed the whole thing and then when i got out of the pit i checked my phone i had like 20 missed texts from him being like oh please come let me in please you have my wristband you have my wristband and it was it was pretty awkward um all right let's see i haven't seen rocks yeah i think i sent it in um yeah it was crazy though yeah and then so that but he he didn't

Starting point is 01:15:05 sell me short in the caption thankfully he said i i forgot my wristband at this festival a year ago which was valid it wasn't your fault like it was a miscommunication yeah it was an accident that is very awkward all right this is chester's guy who rocked these these guys guys kind of rock all Pretty different from what you guys just showed. Very different sets of humor here. I don't know why the volume is like... Oh my god, what? Alright, so for the audio listeners,

Starting point is 01:15:37 it's two guys in masks and they have these giant rubber bands on their chest and they're hitting each other. Look at his toe. are these the island guys this is the shit you were trying to get me

Starting point is 01:15:59 to do last night yeah I don't get what's happening watch oh alright so he's the rubber band six feet

Starting point is 01:16:13 away from the guy oh this cameraman is getting like into this all right well it goes on for a while but holy shit uh what is it yeah how do you find that grito i don't know that that's on my feed that's like part of my feed now that's part of my feed stuff like that those guys are really hurting each other what oh that's all they do how many followers this is they got they do they holy shit 1.8 million jesus christ um everyone's really all right do you guys want to do teach me something yeah i'm down for that chester you're our guest there's something to teach us teach us something

Starting point is 01:16:48 oh yeah uh yes uh let me get my notes out you know the phrase hone in yeah you guys say hone in right yeah like honing in on something like kind of focusing on it yeah how do you say it hone in how do you want to hear i say it yeah hone in okay well it's actually not hone in that honing a skill is different from honing in on something honing in isn't a phrase that's not what people say you say home in like a homing missile what hone in is incorrect home in is correct that's wild uh yeah i got corrected a couple years ago and it by my dad and it stuck with me forever i'm gonna i gotta home in on this because yeah you gotta home if someone said that i would think they were having a stroke right it doesn't sound right but that's actually correct

Starting point is 01:17:40 because honing in doesn't make any sense because honing is like honing a skill like you're honing a craft yeah but it's like kind of a similar meaning so why is it home in there's like a homing missile homes in on a target person missile homing missile those are the same guys that say like finance yeah wow missile is that that's american english too because i know your dad's australian british but uh that's what i meant even if it was even it's not like a dialect thing it's like it's just the english language like that doesn't work right hone in yeah you're right you're right that's crazy exactly yeah so it's it's all like everyone everyone gets it wrong i yeah i i still say to me i would be like i still say get out of my podcast but it's uh

Starting point is 01:18:23 just a fun little fact that is a fun fact it's home in it's that's what you're supposed to say but i like it does thank you on something homing it yeah you home in on something yeah thank you chester it doesn't sound right that stuff ah seriously no seriously it's like i'm really happy to be here you guys learn stuff so i yeah well i got something to teach you guys too so i was watching this documentary it was actually a film not a documentary about these kids who got stuck in this cave in thailand chester was watching it and i started watching it too and i put it as my teach me something not really think i've kind of forgot that you're also here but do you remember that story?

Starting point is 01:19:00 It was in 2018. This soccer team got trapped in these caves. They went down into these caves and then it monsooned. It filled up with water. They were just exploring. This heavy rainfall came and it filled up with water and they couldn't get out.

Starting point is 01:19:15 They were trapped for a week. Six miles into the cave. Six miles of diving. Were they floating? No, they were up on a rock but it had filled in behind them. They were running out of air. yeah and they were there for like a week before everyone anyone found them oh and uh well so i

Starting point is 01:19:31 mean i guess all of this is kind of interesting but what was crazy that they showed in this movie is that they they were like too worried about the kids like freaking out on the way out so they just sedated all of them and just dragged their bodies they had professional divers just like drag their bodies for six miles through tunnels and they'd have to like they were like checkpoints where they'd bring it bring them up and reapply the anesthetic because it only lasts like 45 minutes So they had to, like, stop, like, five times to re-sedate them. Did they put respirators on them? Yeah, they had, like, masks on, and then they would just inject them with something that just, like, completely knocked them out.

Starting point is 01:20:04 It was the only way to do it. That's wild. It was the only way to do it, and it was totally illegal. Yeah, and they had to get— So they had to do it, like, without permission from certain, like, authorities. Yeah. But once the mission—the mission ended up being successful, every—like, they got, like, all 13 of the kids out. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:20:20 So, like, no one could really hold them accountable. It's kind of like a better— Because it was the only way to do it. better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission yeah exactly that reminds me did you ever see the guy that uh their ship got hit by like a rogue wave they were off the coast of africa and he was in the bathroom like pooping and everyone else got like smoked by the wave the ship filled up with water and it sank to the bottom but for some reason there was an air pocket trapped in the bathroom or wherever he was and so he's at the bottom of like they landed on like a

Starting point is 01:20:51 reef or something he's like you know a hundred feet down and he's just like holy shit i'm like still alive in there and all he had was like uh there were like cokes and stuff like floating around and he was like all right there's like zero chance anyone finds me and then they found the ship went down to recover the like dead bodies and then one of the scuba divers popped up and he was like hey and they were like oh my god and they did like an emergency like he was like you know an hour or so away from like having no more oxygen left holy shit they were like so freaked out when they saw him alive and then they got him out somehow and they had to bring him up like slowly i guess because you know when you're diving like if you like bring someone immediately

Starting point is 01:21:35 pressure it was just like a nightmare getting him back up but he survived wow very cool all right here's my teach me something that wasn't your teach me something no no that was just fun that was like a natural segue there were like cokes and stuff around because that was like all he had to survive like there was just like there was just like soda and then like i i guess he could hear because he was on a reef he could hear the sharks eating his like buddies oh my god so he was like this is just a fucking yeah he was like i'd rather i'd rather get eaten by one of the sharks and like run out of oxygen yeah i thought you were gonna say that his way of like people knowing that he was down there is that he like sent a coke up and then someone saw it for some

Starting point is 01:22:12 reason that'd be kind of a good like yeah you're like you're like you're like chilling on a kayak and a coke just like pops yeah it's like oh there must be a guy down all right do you guys want uh i have two animal related ones okay do you want um do you want the fun one or the really fun one first fun one and then get to the really fun giraffe giraffes are 30 times more likely to be struck by lightning than humans that's awesome that's hilarious yeah i mean i guess it makes yeah um and then unless you're falbo yeah yeah yeah and then my second one i thought this was really interesting animals like certain animals can experience time differently than others so like uh smaller animals like the world i guess moves slower around them compared to like us

Starting point is 01:23:04 because time is all relative of like let me try and figure this out like it's like how how quickly the brain can like process information coming in so I guess like smaller animals like lizards and salamanders it's moving slightly slower to them isn't that weird that one doesn't make sense to me

Starting point is 01:23:22 that was the really fun one the giraffe one when you first said like the size of the animal affects your experience of time I thought you were about to explain that like because they're shorter they're further from the sun and the earth rotates at a slower speed no i guess it's like just their perception yeah i mean i guess like it's like time

Starting point is 01:23:43 doesn't really exist they got a small brain so they they can only process things yeah okay you know what i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do here's the fun one there are some animals that have more cones in their eyes so they can see colors that we can't see i like well on that which is an even a really fun fact too is that there's no evidence to say that you and i don't see different colors yeah like my red could be your green yeah like you're yeah the sky is blue but like your blue could be my red my no my blue is like the one that's like the same as like water what my sky blue is the same as like water kind of that's is that the same for you yes but because we all call water in the sky blue yeah your blue could still be different

Starting point is 01:24:28 do you ever watch that v sauce video on it no that i remember coming home from school one day and it was guys I got bad news the Vsauce title was like your red is my green or something and I watched it and like didn't have like I still don't have the words to describe it but I remember just trying to like

Starting point is 01:24:47 explain what Vsauce told me to my mom over dinner and she was just like we gotta get this guy off the internet being like I have no like I guess like you see yellow and I would see like red he was like that's not true i've got i've got i've got one more fun fact really quickly um paperbacks there's more to the story than you think books paperback books aren't called paperbacks because

Starting point is 01:25:15 of their paperbacks okay um they're called paperbacks because bennett surf who was the founder of random house penguin random house great name uh had a scar on his back from when he was a kid and for whatever reason they called him his nickname was paperback growing up be like resembled paper or something i don't i don't know how but his nickname was paperback and coincidentally random house started publishing the books that we call started in like the 1930s started publishing what we call paperbacks and they're called paperbacks because of the founder bennett surf bennett surf because of his paperback i like that like if he didn't have that scar he would have gone into a different line of work yeah yeah but he was like i'll show those fucking

Starting point is 01:25:57 kids yeah yeah or if like if he had had like nasty blisters those books would be called nasty blisters it's also just not true you made that up yeah you just got pranked all three of you just got pranked paperbacks how could his scar resemble resemble paper i was i don't know i'm wondering how did you guys so i thought for sure like one of you at least one of you's like that can't be Well, also, they called books paperbacks because of his paperback. Also, the name being Bennett Cerf, I was like, how did you gloss over the coolest name ever? I was picturing a skin graph that was like a perfect rectangle, and they were like, paperback. I was thinking like paper cuts.

Starting point is 01:26:34 Paperback, paperback. Like you got bullied, called a paperback. Did you have anything on your phone, or were you just making that up? No, I actually wrote that. Bennett Cerf actually is the founder of Random House. Oh, that's a real name? Yeah. I had to have some stuff that would sell it a little bit.

Starting point is 01:26:50 Yeah, it was good. I was almost on par with Neil Resnick. Almost. I mean, it's a big prank episode. Chester, you get to decide because you're our guest. Yeah. Would you like to draft reality shows that don't exist first, or do we have something else?

Starting point is 01:27:04 We have all the Royce shit. Oh, yeah. Fuck, let's go. We can do the drafts first, though. No, let's do the Royce stuff. All right, we're going to play a game called Did Royce Say This? You have to get it right or you lose Okay

Starting point is 01:27:17 When I'm in a negotiation and I feel myself losing I get an erection the size of Texas He said that, yeah Royce did say that I don't hunt because I'm hungry I hunt because I want to see the life Leave the bird's eyes He did not say that

Starting point is 01:27:34 Royce did not say that Most homeless people actually own two homes He said that I guess like in hindsight He wrote all of this i think i'm gonna be pretty good at this game did royce say i would literally kill a man for 50 no no he did not say that we almost got his white ass on my way to work i find a homeless man and i give him a hundred dollar bill after setting it on fire no royce did not say that it's no secret

Starting point is 01:28:08 that i jerk off eight or nine times a day he said that yeah it's classic why would i hire a woman with estrogen when i could hire one with testosterone yeah he said that and finally employees are like organs they're replaceable he said that wow a perfect 10 for 10 for 10 he knows his own work okay all right everything checks out i guess i guess in hindsight really him all right now we're gonna play shirts oh yeah we haven't even talked about the more undershirted. DuPont Disciple. Alright. Good roomie. Get in the mind of Royce right now, Chester.

Starting point is 01:28:43 We're going to play What Would Royce Do? I'm going to give you a scenario. You're going to tell me how Royce would react to it, okay? Okay. A man asks to trade seats on an airplane so that he can sit with his kids. Oh. Royce would not like that. I think you'd be like, okay, yeah, sure.

Starting point is 01:29:01 Your son can take my seat. But what can he give me in return? and then he would go on to spell out the next 20 years of his life with an indentured servitude to royce dupont i love it uh yeah your son asked for 20 to go get food with his friends Royce would Royce doesn't have a family a son

Starting point is 01:29:33 so this is tricky but if he did Royce would probably he'd make a lesson out of it he'd be like yeah sure

Starting point is 01:29:46 here's your 20 bucks um and it'd be like a 120 bill and he'd get a pair of scissors and he'd cut up into 20 20 single strands and and be like come back and here's 20 from 20 strands uh bring bring me back 40 strands use these 20 strands and give me 40 um i feel like you'd probably be good at this one your roommate loses or his roommate loses his car keys and then doesn't take responsibility for it well first of all uh that's horrible uh that a roommate would ever do that something like that you know cars are really expensive and car keys are really expensive so you know if you're going to borrow my car his car every other day you you you know you would think that maybe you

Starting point is 01:30:37 kind of take some responsibility because it's basically a shared vehicle at this point so Maybe you'd help him out a little with the cost of the keys. Sorry, I don't think Royce even needs to answer this question. I did not lose your car key. Okay. Okay, a client asked to move a meeting to Zoom because they're in the hospital with a staph infection. We bring the meeting to the hospital.

Starting point is 01:31:03 The whole boardroom shows up in the hospital. Okay. Royce is driving home, and he hits a man with his car. no one saw it happen and the guy is horribly maimed royce rifles through his all of his belongings and uh gets as much money as he can he's just criminal activity nice yeah um similar to that the man walking in front of royce in a crosswalk gets hit by the car what does royce do um maybe he would like uh pretend to be an injury lawyer go up to the guy and be like hey like like you know give me like give me your money give me your

Starting point is 01:31:53 money i'll fix all your problems like i'll sue the hell out of that guy i got a picture of his plate uh and then the guy and he would just like convince him to to to sign a bunch of papers as he's like on the ground like injured uh and roy and you know sign away like his the deed to his house and royce would now have the deed to his house and um yeah something like that and and finally royce finds someone's wallet on the ground with all the information he would need to return it but there's twenty dollars inside you get a pair of scissors uh it's tough i mean i feel like he would definitely take the wallet he would take the 20 bucks no no i think he would he would leave the 20 bucks on the ground and take the wallet and uh and then sell like all like the little

Starting point is 01:32:49 cards that you keep in your wallet like like like a hair hairdressers and like yeah a big stack of cards that you never will ever look at again free sandwiches and free sandwiches he would find all those like those coffee stamps and uh go around la getting all the stamps uh and saving a lot of money on coffee and haircuts that's great yeah well done that was tough that was tough one thank you yeah tough tough game we we tend to stump our guests we should stop them it's kind of our thing That was good. Well, I felt pretty stumped. Yeah, you looked stumped.

Starting point is 01:33:20 All right, would you like to do sayings first or reality shows first, Chester? Whatever you guys want to do. Let's do sayings. Okay, let's do it. While we're hot. My sayings are not as good as my reality shows. Oh, great.

Starting point is 01:33:32 Well, that might tank our pot. Yeah, that'll probably just ruin us. All right. These are more sayings that don't exist. I've got, you can keep adding ketchup, but it's still a hot dog. All right.

Starting point is 01:33:46 At the end of the day, you can try to gloss something up. What, I'm supposed to be looking at this camera? You can keep adding ketchup, but it's still a hot dog. You know, you can try to mask what something is. But at the end of the day, you know, sometimes you got to call a spade a spade. You can ketchup that jawn up, but it's still going to taste like a hot dog at the core. I like that. I've got an Eskimo in a sauna.

Starting point is 01:34:11 It's someone who is very out of place and is clearly uncomfortable in whatever environment they're in. Yeah. Nice. Absolutely. That would fucking break an Eskimo. All right, I got Catching Sand.

Starting point is 01:34:23 You tell a killer joke and you won't stop repeating it. Even though everyone else is ready to talk about something else, you refuse to move on from the moment as if you were in an hourglass trying to catch the falling sand. That's very good.

Starting point is 01:34:36 Hey, man, just relax. You're catching sand. It's obvious. I like that a lot. I like that a lot. All right. I've got more useless than a wet wipe in a coal mine. Kind of goes without saying, but if you're in a coal mine, a wet wipe's not going to

Starting point is 01:34:50 get very far. That's just true. Yeah. I've got paying in pennies. Okay. So, like, let's say you had a debt and you went and paid it in pennies. Like, you're doing the right thing technically, but you're making it way harder on everyone else.

Starting point is 01:35:07 I love that. Thank you. Yeah, that's great. I got shells and bananas these are like insults that kind of accidentally hurt your feelings like a rogue green shell or a poorly placed banana

Starting point is 01:35:20 in Mario Kart it's not intended for you necessarily but you get hurt by it even though it's not specifically directed towards you he's like relax man just shells and bananas there's no ill will

Starting point is 01:35:35 cut like a stray a little bit shells and bananas Yeah, that guy's been catching shells and bananas all night, dude. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for him, but, like, it's really nothing you can do about it. That guy's got nothing against you. Yeah, absolutely. Or, yeah, maybe if someone was, like, if they were, like, red hot all night

Starting point is 01:35:51 and then they kind of blow up, you're like, hey, he was due for a blue shell. Yeah, there you go. My last one is counting the rings on a tree stump. You know how you can, like, count the rings and see how old the tree is? But I always thought it was, like, funny because, like, you can only do that once it's, like, dead. Yeah. So it's like kind of a term for like dwelling on the past or something

Starting point is 01:36:11 when you're like overanalyzing something that isn't going to change. So you might as well just move on. He's like, he's counting the rings on a tree stump. Someone's talking about their high school girlfriend. You're like, dude, you're counting rings on a tree stump, right? Yeah, exactly. Like we already cut the tree down. Let's just move on.

Starting point is 01:36:24 I like it. That's great. My final one is bringing a base to a campfire. Like you had the right idea, but you executed it very poorly. That's a funny idea. guys just like boom boom boom that's that's i thought you said you were bringing your guitar uh cool i got i got a couple i got one more but uh i feel like mine aren't that funny but all right they're not really funny shorter than your shadow this is when you've like accidentally

Starting point is 01:36:54 become the center of attention by by mumbling an opinion that you don't actually believe like a hot take and now you can't back it up and all the spotlight's on you and it's cast a shadow behind you that is now taller than you and you are shorter than your shadow. You can't live up to the shadow behind you because you mumbled something you didn't fully believe. Like when you have to commit to something.

Starting point is 01:37:15 Just because you said it. But it's obvious you're shorter than your shadow. I like that a lot. That's a really good one. That was your best one. Not that the other ones were bad, but that was a great one. I got one more actually. I might as well fire him. Skipping in heels. You finished strong here, by the way. You're skipping in heels.

Starting point is 01:37:34 Let's say your buddy is showing off and he's getting increasingly cockier, right? What started off as a simple brag is now a huge song and dance. And he's drawing a lot of attention to himself. Much like the sounds of heels on the hardwood. The hardwood. But he has no idea. So you tell him, careful, brother. You're skipping.

Starting point is 01:37:53 Careful, brother. You're skipping in heels. That's great. I like that one. That was great. Your last two were fantastic. Yeah. That was great.

Starting point is 01:38:00 Well done. and then i got the proverbs the proverbs proverb it's like the comedian's comedian like the go to proverbs like yeah yeah barking up the wrong tree jesus yeah that's like that's the proverbs proverb yeah yeah oh barking up the wrong tree yeah that's a good one anyway that's great all right should we do yeah some reality shows that don't exist i've got birth swap we take two babies uh from drastically different financial situations and we swap them at birth and then on their 18th birthday we tell them we tell the poor kid that he's actually rich and the rich kid that he's actually poor and we swap them back yeah we watch them you know come to terms with their new

Starting point is 01:38:41 situation with their family yeah that sounds i'd watch that it sounds ethical yeah so that's good all right i got who's a good boy to show about 12 dog walkers and one golden retriever living in the same house every day but each dog walker gets to walk the golden retriever and every night the golden retriever gets to sniff out his favorite walker of the day and the last one to get sniffed out gets voted out of the house oh i get that's really good there's some element of like who he who's baddie sleeps in as well yeah yeah oh there's a whole point system yeah all right i've got renaissance it's a reality tv show uh centered around the guys who work at the renaissance fair um and like their day-to-day lives and it gets like really personal because

Starting point is 01:39:26 apparently they're really way more into character than you realized yeah and so like the jousting is like really intense yeah there are rivalries yeah it's more of just like there's not like a winner necessarily it's more of like a kardashian style but it's just like a peek behind the curtains of these people have to show up and play medieval characters every day yeah and how they kind of get roped into it and yeah i love it that's it that's renaissance um i've got cousin island oh 40 hot 40 hot singles on one island uh and the goal is to kind of like pair up with someone yep but uh half of the people there are like distant cousins of each other and at the end you find out if the person that you've been like loving on is actually like a third cousin of

Starting point is 01:40:11 yours i like it yeah decide how strong your high stakes yeah stakes no no they're it's like it's like uh you know dwight drew it's like his third cousin's the sweet spot for breeding we make sure that they're distant enough cousins that there's no there's no chance any of the kids would be like disfigured or anything that's good at least that one sounded better in my head all right uh four lease spelled f-o-u-r four landlords are dropped in a low-income neighborhood with four identical properties now whichever landlord can convince a blue-collar citizen to pay the highest monthly fee is $250,000. $500,000 if said renter also makes below minimum weight. Calculating route to avoid seeing poverty. Turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on

Starting point is 01:41:01 the street. Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away. Then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty your donations help the united way fight poverty in thousands of ways like providing food shelter and crisis prevention donate today at unitedwaygt.org that's awesome or lease that's great um i've got immersion i'm trying to remember what this one was you just write down the names yeah so immersion is oh yeah it's they get 20 contestants and they take them to a foreign country that's like one that none of them know the language or culture of like they're going to like somewhere crazy like romania or something for instance and they

Starting point is 01:41:55 drop them all off there and basically you're it's a race to like see who can like immerse themselves and learn the language and the culture first so like each night they have challenges that are based on like things in the culture and they just kind of all day to like run around and try to learn as much as they can and then there's like language tests and like cultural literacy tests and the most cultured person wins oh nice nice yeah my final one is blind and deaf it's a dating show where the men are blind and the women are deaf and it's just like a nightmare for them to communicate with each other that's great um and we just kind of like watch how that shapes out yeah that's awesome that'd be a good like survivor season blind blind yeah yeah all

Starting point is 01:42:40 right who's a good boy island fans vote on their favorite dog walkers from the original hit show who's a good boy and they're all flown out to an island in indonesia where they compete in a series of the price is right competitions for one million dollars but here's the catch and there's always a catch one of those dog walkers is a landlord and the island is for lease that's really good that's really good so that's gotta be stitched together with the other one yeah yeah that's gonna be the same yeah uh my last one is called shafted um it's 15 unsuspecting singles from around the country are sent to a northern northwestern pennsylvania mine shaft um where they can't leave until they win the last man standing wins and you get points for how much

Starting point is 01:43:32 ore you can dig up make the last man sit like the last guy alive no it's like like each night there's like you present your ore and whoever has like the least ore is on the chopping block and then they if you're the last the bottom three are all on the chopping block and then everyone else has to allocate their ore to who they want and whoever's left with the least ore on the chopping block gets sent home and they get to they get lift airlifted out of the shaft but everyone stays in the shaft the whole time that's great yeah it's a great name i'm in yeah shafted yeah it's great okay lauren whose personality are you stealing this week i'm stealing was it trip who was the the one who worked at the restaurant yeah yeah yeah okay i'm taking his personality because

Starting point is 01:44:13 confident he knew exactly how to handle the situation how to handle that asshole and he He stayed calm under that. He knows how to handle that asshole. He stayed calm under that. Did you say he knows how to handle asshole? She said he knows how to handle that asshole. Yep. Yep.

Starting point is 01:44:29 Ugh. Okay. And yeah, sounds like a good dude. Sounds like a good GD. What about you? What about you? Who's personality are you stealing this week? I wasn't prepped for this part.

Starting point is 01:44:41 We are never prepped. So I just say like who like, well, I'm going to. Whose vibe are you digging? Oh, the magician, plumber, electrician guy who came in earlier. Neil Resnick? Neil Resnick, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm taking that personality for sure.

Starting point is 01:44:56 He had a good vibe for sure. He was the man. He was killer. Yeah, I'm stealing, I don't know, man. I don't give a fuck. You don't give a fuck? Maybe like Scotty Scheffler. No, Davis Clark.

Starting point is 01:45:11 There you go. He's coming in. He's doing 60 for 60 on Thursday. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Pretty excited. um yeah he's the man dude he's dialed in all the time um chester was doing we were this was this girl that we were meeting at the bar and i was like trying to like figure out like how i

Starting point is 01:45:30 wanted to be like sitting like when she came in and chester was doing this thing where he like kind of he was like on like a really casual vibe like at the bar and he would like put his hat down and he was like when she comes over you should be like what uh and so i think i'm just gonna like trying to be more like that guy yeah like in all facets i think that's laid back like not a care in the world yeah what up what up what up yeah what up well this was just a blast this is a great thank you for coming on chester thanks for finally inviting me on guys yeah i feel like yeah you made it feel like i was the last one you know we haven't had um we haven't had Elise on you.

Starting point is 01:46:09 We asked her before you. I don't think we've had Ben Barrett on. Ben Barrett doesn't come on. Good. Anything you want to plug? Survivor on Wednesday finale. I got a brand deal

Starting point is 01:46:28 with CBS so I have to say that every time I get on a podcast. It's the finale? It's the finale this Wednesday. Tonight. Are we having a party? Yeah We were at this killer barbecue on Saturday

Starting point is 01:46:43 Remember? We were talking about all those guys I texted them actually yesterday No response Yeah, you should come Have you caught up? I haven't seen one episode this season Nice, perfect

Starting point is 01:46:58 I also gave up on the Survivor pool pretty early Yeah, my guy got sent home But I'm over it that was fun guys thanks thank you guys for listening have a great rest of your week and we will see you next Wednesday peace

Starting point is 01:47:34 of the crowded shelter turning people away, then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention. Donate today at unitedwaygt.org.

Starting point is 01:47:54 Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siyaya, and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned and today I'm still figuring it out somehow things usually get worse before they get better

Starting point is 01:48:13 apparently that's how I roll so bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem

Will & Rusty's Playdate - Cousin Island with Chet Collins

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