Will & Rusty's Playdate - credit card roulette took over my life

Starting point is 00:00:00 Calculating route to avoid seeing poverty. Turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street. Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away. Then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention.

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Starting point is 00:00:59 all righty are we good yep um i want to read you guys something that playmate sent me today clara clara jean lovely name but she said hi cj what sorry cj of course uh she said hi rusty i'm listening to the pod and thought you might like to know the origins of red hot slash white hot it comes from ceramic kilns before people were able to measure the temperature accurately we just went by looking at the color so when things were red hot they were getting going but white hot was like they're so hot they're emitting light and that white hot temperature is actually usually what we come what we call cone 10 which is like 2300 degrees uh which is the temperature at which pots are like fully cooked so white hot is way hotter than red hot cheers brother

Starting point is 00:01:56 thank you claire jean wow hey you are so hot that you emit a light thank you so i appreciate that yeah this is our fourth podcast this week guys yeah we are we are in the podcast gauntly now yeah this is a big week and then after this i think we're kind of chilling for a while but It's Playdate episode 56. Yep. Shout out to all the 56-year-olds out there. Wait, what Super Bowl is this year? 56, I think.

Starting point is 00:02:27 Okay, there. My dad's 56. Nice. I think my dad's 56. My dad's as old as Super Bowl. Oh, everyone wants to be part of the... Sorry, my dad's fucking old. Wait, what year was your dad born?

Starting point is 00:02:37 65. He's got to be like 59. Because my mom turned 60 this year, and she was born in 64. yeah yeah that's if he was born in 65 there's absolutely no way he's 56 so i have been uh every year i've been under the impression that he was as old as the super bowl so i've been i've been i've been putting that on each card birthday card so he has never said anything to me yeah i think he listens so dad text me and tell me that's been wrong i was under the impression you were as old

Starting point is 00:03:07 as the super bowl is he definitely born in 65 yeah because yeah that i mean google how how old would you be if you were born on march what month march 20 or march 1965 wait we can do that's he's 59 yeah my mom's birthday is march 14 so how is he as old as the super bowl he isn't he's 59 unless it's super bowl 59 yeah 59 wait google what super bowl what is the next super bowl yeah it's 50 it's oh it's 59 it's super bowl 59 he is as old as so we're wrong about the super bowl no oh no it's not it's lix it's like a different number system though i was doing a joke for da all right for da i was doing a joke for da for da boys for da so for da all right this is our um oh can we i have a question for you guys what what are some things when you were

Starting point is 00:04:07 in like middle school that were really cool that looking back on you're like that it was weird that we thought that was so cool sperry's yep and nike elites yep as a combo specifically yep i mean both those so we my school didn't go through that as much but i remember you telling me that was big at oh that was like the fashion statement of like freshman year of high school that's crazy it was like you i mean i had a uniform in middle school but in high school i went to public school and it was like that was what was cool i made my parents like i was like i gotta get sparrows and and fucking nike elites my uh my good buddy brendan like moved to our town when we were freshmen in high school yeah and he was from like an adjacent town where i don't think he like knew

Starting point is 00:04:45 much about where we were from and i think like the rumor was that we were much preppier than we like actually were yeah and so i was probably wearing this exact same outfit maybe crocs instead of a little foresight on the almost friday shirt okay this similar like we all dressed very normally but i think he thought it was like uber preppy and he showed up on our first day and he was wearing a button-down shirt tucked into nantucket red pants with sparrows i think yeah and uh we knew like of him but like we weren't necessarily that close and he walked up to our lunch table and he was like hello gentlemen uh a good evening to you yeah i bid you adieu and and he was like uh he was like would you guys mind if i sat and ate with you guys we were like why are you being

Starting point is 00:05:31 so yeah being so he's like a curtsy yeah yeah and uh now he's now he's a good buddy uh my brother infamously infamously we went to private school through eighth grade okay um and then public high schools and my brother infamously wore a blue polo and khaki shorts on the first day of high school what he didn't realize is that is the standard uniform for every middle school in the school this so it looked like he was the only kid from all from that didn't know that you didn't have to wear a uniform anymore in high school like he wore the exact uniform that everyone else at that high school had to wear until then. Oh, that's so funny.

Starting point is 00:06:16 And he didn't even realize it. I thought you were going to say that everyone thought he actually went to the wrong school. Yeah, they were like, oh, buddy, you're going to be in over your head here. Do you know what I looked like? Can I show you what I looked like freshman year of high school? No. Can I pull up a picture real quick? It will

Starting point is 00:06:32 make you laugh. I don't even know where to, I think like Facebook would have it. I love Facebook. You do. I don't understand. I scroll on Facebook every day. um slack it yeah slack it to you right now safe to say i looked really fucking cool for the record i don't know i'm curious like what did you look do you were you like asian yeah i was asian for a briefly though it's just like one of those

Starting point is 00:06:56 that's why this guy rocks oh my god you look horrible oh i thought that was i thought you you set that all up i thought that was the No, that's why this guy rocks. I haven't hit set yet. Do the one with me and my sister first. Big night. Oh, my Lord. Oh, my God.

Starting point is 00:07:19 Oh, well, it doesn't even look like you. I was freshman year of high school. Wait, that's crazy. I want to pull up me as a freshman now. I mean, yeah. I had a buzz cut and braces, and I looked fucking sick. All right, wait. Lauren, I'm air-

Starting point is 00:07:34 That was me when Ohio State won the national championship. I'm air-dropping you a picture of me when I was a freshman now. my torrell prior jersey on there all right this is the first one i could not bad honestly i feel like i look you look really tall for some reason it looks i was the same height i am now what are you talking about it looks like no but your legs look very long your limbs you're the same height yeah i hit god i was probably six feet as a freshman i'm the exact same right now yeah i think we talked about this like i didn't even i didn't have armpit hair i had full chest hair in seventh grade that's i've been i've had the same i haven't

Starting point is 00:08:17 seen any more signs of puberty except for maybe a little more facial hair as i got older but like i hit puberty in like seventh grade and got it all out of the way jesus yeah mine was like a slow burn starting i look more i look like four to five years older than you a hundred percent that's crazy if you guys could tell your 13 year old selves something right now what would you say i'd say first i'd say get out of that stance that i'm in right i would say yeah no i think i would you know what i really really like miss is just how like confident i was agreed and like how willing to like put myself out there without shame or like embarrassment i think i mean that's probably just part of growing up but like i feel like that's maybe not something that they tell you

Starting point is 00:09:04 is like no like enjoy the glory days like to me that's the glory that i look back on is that i didn't fucking blind confidence yeah overthink everything and i was just i was so unapologetically like myself in a way that i feel like yeah has been lost in my growth i'll see videos of like my friend dobin and i i sent her like a video from when we were freshmen in college this morning yeah and it was like uh i feel like i was out and about like doing more stuff i was more comfortable like being in public and like walking around uh like having like fun and stuff now it's like let's just like go sit and like do something you know what i mean like we were like yeah shopping event yeah you could just like go outside for like five hours and not worry about having shit to do yeah

Starting point is 00:09:54 we were just like i feel like these are very much still things you can do now yeah but like completely no no completely it's more just like i think we are as your brain develops you like keep yourself in check a little bit more which i think is good i will see some older videos where i'm like i was being really annoying agreed agreed i think that yeah i think that there was like it was it's like endearing and then what there was like a few years like early college yep really even all of college like where it was like all right now this has been caught crossed into like being a little much agreed yeah once you're like becoming an adult you think you're the coolest yeah thing ever yeah i i uh i was advice i would give myself at that age through

Starting point is 00:10:40 like college is like go i would have said yes to more stuff yeah like i feel like sometimes i would be like i'm just not really feeling like going to that like party or whatever and like sitting it out and it's like that was a fun it was a fun time like oh i think i had the opposite i think i said yes to everything oh like sometimes to my where i was just always worn out yeah oh i know i i definitely did that as as well i just mean like uh calculating route to avoid seeing poverty turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away then take the next exit let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty your donations help the

Starting point is 00:11:26 united way fight poverty in thousands of ways like providing food shelter and crisis prevention donate today at unitedwaygt.org like harper was sending me videos and it was uh we when we used to have like house parties and our like favorite thing was to be like standing behind someone like making a like scary face and then when they would turn around like pretend like you weren't yeah doing that i think like just like small shenanigans and like hijinks is fun yeah i agree um i i you know when you get to college and everyone's like all the old dads are like dude it is gonna fly by yeah enjoy this and you're like dude this is gonna be the longest thing ever and then you blink and it's gone oh i actually think it was the longest thing ever maybe that's because

Starting point is 00:12:12 an extra year but i was my entire last year i was so ready to be gone i was too but now i'm like i kind of wish i i kind of wish i don't reveled i don't miss that i do not miss i think it flew by i think it flew by especially with covid there were parts of it i missed but by and large i'm so glad like i feel like i was a freshman and then all of a sudden i was a junior we were in houses and then covid left and then it was senior year yeah i guess i took the year off during covid so i didn't yeah i only had one i had one semester on campus that's crazy oh like of living we got we were kicked off campus for covid our second semester freshman year i thought i thought didn't you get kicked off campus for like hazing stuff too uh i'm kidding i'm joking no i didn't but uh

Starting point is 00:13:00 there was there was a fraternity i think i've told you this before but there was this fraternity that was like it went through waves of like being really cool to like being not not really cool like over the last hundred years or whatever and my dad was like yeah they were awesome when i was there and then when i got there they were a little strange but they kept getting in trouble for the same wasn't like someone a treadmill yeah they'd make them run in sauna suits i think i think the story was i don't know if they had to run a combined marathon or if they just had to like run a marathon they could take however however long they wanted but like four or five years in row jesus and it was like it was like just do a different thing clearly yeah clearly this one's

Starting point is 00:13:42 not yeah the men that you think it's like the word keeps getting out about this yeah not that they that that shouldn't be the when concern but in covid happened uh they were really strict about parties yeah and it was like it was kind of a known thing like if you just keep it to a normal size it's not going to be an issue like just don't do anything like like spitting in the face of like covid whatever and our friend yeah our friend uh rented a party bus for everyone and we had this huge party at their house and then like i think went downtown after in the party bus and the house is 50 feet off campus and like a lot of the faculty members like live on this street yeah so it was like when like hundreds of kids are getting onto like charter buses

Starting point is 00:14:31 to go downtown it was like pretty pretty quick yeah and then we found out there was a mole like there was a fake snapchat by kind of like jesus a fake snapchat account had somehow infiltrated like every group chat and like group me and stuff like that and so someone was in there and had a list of every single person's name that was like on the list for this party bus yeah and so you had to go in and just like i don't think they could prove it with video but they like could prove that you had some intent to do it and so you just had to straight face be like that wasn't me jesus yeah there's then they went on people's snapchat stories and had like identified each person that they could see in a thing and got like hundreds of

Starting point is 00:15:17 kids i mean i haven't there's all the guys that i lived with my sophomore year of college i decided not to live with or i took my year off i guess and then while i was gone And all those guys hosted, like, a 100-person party in their basement or something, got caught, and they all got suspended for, like, a whole semester. They, like, couldn't go to school or anything. They just had to go home. Did you guys have any Zoom mishaps? Like, someone, like, thinking their camera was off? Like, jorking it or something?

Starting point is 00:15:43 Yeah. No. No, no. There was a kid, I don't even know if it was at Rollins, but the video kind of made its rounds. Yeah. and it's this uh he's like sitting down i think he doesn't know his camera's on he's shirtless and then he stands up to go get like an apple or something and he's like kind of eating the apple in the corner like watching the class from far away just hanging brain and all the girls are

Starting point is 00:16:09 like yelling being like dude turn your thing off and he couldn't hear it and uh the video went everywhere dude that happened like a new york times like reporter what happened or something he like was jorking it on us i'm not even kidding this is like do like do like google like new new york times he's pulling his taffy jerking off zoom jerking off or maybe not new york time jeffrey tubin a journalist for new york the new yorker was suspended for masturbating on a zoom call oh tubin says he did not realize his video was on i like how that's his defense it wasn't like i apologize for masturbating during a meeting yep um crazy what was the fuck what was the one wait what were we jeffrey dubin is sorry for the zoom dick glad to be back at cnn

Starting point is 00:17:03 what no i'm trying to think what i was gonna just tell you i i have something i want to say but it's it's unrelated to all of this wait let me think for five seconds um oh oh oh there was a professor not at my school but it's someone else's school that got sent in our like hometown group chat they were on a zoom and all of his tabs were open i've seen that and it said um it was like it was a college it was like college students get banged by professor yeah role play or whatever and he got fired wait did i tell you about what i did in my ra freshman year yes wait but tell have i told this on the pod i don't think this story okay what was it again just he put like a it's that sean rizwan guy who's like man on the street so he put like a he was like what's my

Starting point is 00:17:48 next youtube video be and i typed out like hot rra bangs yeah yeah we had a same same friend from uh rollins we set her tabs up there's a setting where you can make it so every time they open a new tab it goes to direct to a certain site i think you said this i've said this as well i think so we We just set it to, like, hardcore, like, MILF porn or something. And she opened her laptop, opened Google Chrome. It went straight to that. She kept trying to open new tabs to get rid of it, and it just made, like, a plethora of them.

Starting point is 00:18:23 That's terrible. And then, yeah, she didn't think it was that funny. Sorry, Dubs. It's a little bit funny. Sorry, Dubs. As you all know by now, we've teamed up with BetMGM this season. We'll be using BetMGM lines to make all of our picks, and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week.

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Starting point is 00:19:49 bet offer today well done let's get back into the episode this just popped in my head i didn't want can i pivot the conversation off of coronavirus uh i was i remembered in philadelphia this weekend i lost credit card roulette twice yep pretty pretty brutal showing uh what's what's the deal with credit card roulette who wants that you told you told this to me as if credit card roulette is a is a thing that we have to do no but that's a thing that everyone knows about i have never i've never done that i've never played it like whose decision was you know what it is yeah we were it was after i went to the rainbow king surprise concert went out with my buddy and some of his friends we went to this like bar that was kind of dead and uh got like a round of drinks

Starting point is 00:20:34 and then someone was like let's do credit card roulette and i was like sure and i have this one funny i have a funny credit card i'll show it on the camera ready sure you cover the numbers here's my funny well there's no money in this account but i guess i should be safe anyway it's just the front of it oh yeah but i i got i got a cash app account and they were like you can order a cash app card and you can design it in the app but it was like just like tracing your finger i was like what the fuck so i just wrote will's credit card on it it's awesome so i pulled this out as i was getting my card out to be like isn't this funny guys and then i i guess someone just put it in the credit card roulette pile so this one got picked i realized it right after she walked away i was

Starting point is 00:21:09 like oh there's no money in my cash app account uh even though i should have money in my cash app account uh more and because it pays well it used to get paid it used to pay to get used to pay to get paid on cash app anyway so then the lady comes out you're gonna be like stop we've ended it stop yeah well no they're still partners of the company all right we love catch up yeah yeah but we don't let's move on uh anyway okay so so i get that i that the joke one gets picked yeah which i wasn't intentionally doing as like a false flag but it could have worked if one of the other ones i got picked anyway she comes actually this didn't work i was like all right i'll just give you my normal one and then one of the guys like no we'll just do it again we'll do

Starting point is 00:21:49 it again like i think he felt bad because i was like the new guy and they all knew each other and uh i was like all right so then i put it and we do it again and my real card then gets picked on the second one too this lady had it out for me so uh so what's your issue you just don't know why like why people my issue is that what are the odds my card gets picked twice in a row in a group of six people one in one in 16 isn't it one in four than one in four it was six people okay so one in 32 one in 32 is pretty bad odds i mean that's like i picked march madness correctly it's the same odds so I'm just

Starting point is 00:22:25 venting I guess I don't have necessarily have a point I'm sorry I'm over it I have been spending too much money on my credit card speaking of okay you want to talk about it yeah on Legos yeah

Starting point is 00:22:42 yeah I have a problem yeah I was trying to justify it on the way home from the Lego store and I was like this is a thing I like it's a thing I like I'm doing a thing I like and then i was like it doesn't it's still too much money yeah they're expensive well if it's bringing you joy it is bringing me and like what else are you spending your money on besides nudie mags oh yeah i have a did i tell you i have a hardcore i've not hardcore i have hard copy

Starting point is 00:23:08 porn because billy and i were in the outer banks we got these nudie bags whatever have you not heard this story no and i don't know what mine's like magic themed it's like uh it's like i'm pulling a rabbit out of like a gooch or something no no it's like conjuring like conjuring like a boner yeah like a like it's making things disappear whatever it's like making it was a funny thing that i had and i was like i don't really want to throw it out so i put it in my underwear drawer or my sock drawer and someone found it a couple weeks ago and it was a it was a lady yeah it was hard to it was hard to um explain that i had a magic themed porno as a joke because it was so hidden yeah like if it was if it was like on display and i was like had it as like art like

Starting point is 00:23:59 i have a playboy on my coffee table yep kind of a tasteful it's like a retro like 70s playboy yeah this one is not tasteful this one is far from tasteful and it was under all my boxers yeah and so it was like yeah how do you explain why are you hiding this why do you have this page that was just rabbits was covered in loads pulling boobs out of a hat yeah um and just one by one yeah there's like no women attached to them it's dripping with blood um oh man we have fun we have so much fun i love this stuff bro you're a girl you love this shit i'm sorry and uh you hate and that person i think still thinks i'm a fucking magic freak i think you're a magic guy thank you um i have to show i'll send you a picture when i get home today it is it's the funniest you the

Starting point is 00:24:53 cover suggests like this is a this will be a fun like kind of soft core you open it up they're making things disappear okay send me a photo later oh all of a sudden all right you want that in your camera roll i just want to know what like just the cover it's really funny yeah i want to see it um can you send me scans of it i've been spending too much money too on food i've been spending too much money on things i don't need like what knickknacks food concert tickets like have ubers like i've been having like a lot of fun but it's just just say food concert tickets and ubers yeah only one of those things is like not a necessity but for your for your life i feel like concert tickets are like that's your that's like my two legos that's your it's my legos yeah but i think

Starting point is 00:25:44 the problem is that well i go to a lot of concerts and like sporting events and it's just like the drinks and foods there are always insane also i feel like my buddy from college scott moved out here which has been awesome because i think we both are trying to make like a concerted effort to like have more fun during like the week so like yesterday we went to trivia june shine which it was awesome you talked about that like three weeks ago i did that with someone else like three weeks ago but i went last we did talk about it i feel like i remember saying i invite well i love trivia all right you next tuesday we're on every tuesday because you know the beauty of june shine trivia is it's like a two usually trivia means like oh i'm gonna like drink during

Starting point is 00:26:24 the week because like you're going to bar and you can't not order something but at june shine they have draft kombucha that's just regular kombucha so we're just drinking awesome we're just drinking regular kombucha i'd probably just get a kombucha yeah like a regular one at that point yeah you know what i mean like i don't want yeah i don't know no no oh you're saying a hard kombucha yeah well it's like i mean you could but it's like i i'm going to a concert tonight where i'll probably have some beers i didn't want to drink you have a problem i have a problem kombucha problem yeah Dude, you got booched up your gut last time. My gut is off its rockers.

Starting point is 00:26:56 I haven't met Scott yet, I don't think. Yeah, I don't think so either. They let you bring food from wherever to the Juneshine, too. So you could cook dinner at home. Yeah. Ty and I had hibachi last night. Hibachi. Hibachi.

Starting point is 00:27:09 Ooh, yum. Pretty cool. Like you went to a place? No. Hibachi poppy. That's what they called me in high school. Yeah. What is that?

Starting point is 00:27:17 It's like to go hibachi. It's next door to Heavy Handed, too. so you can get heavy-handed and you can bring the buzzer to june shine and it buzzes it's still in rain oh nice oh that's cool yeah um we had this place called jap express in uh in winter park when i was in uh college that was like seems like a dicey yeah that's i guess they have i told you my jap story i think yeah yeah yeah oh yeah yeah i can't believe how i feel like we repurposed and it was run by japanese people so i think they're allowed to say it yeah um but it was called jap express and actually it was called japan express i don't know yeah so that makes

Starting point is 00:28:00 more sense we call it jap x it was great and uh and that was the the day i discovered harry potter i discovered harry potter and japan express in the same day it was he was at japan express it was like oh my god the boy who lived this huge like fight born to fry this huge fight broke out like on like a thursday night like within our friend group and uh everyone woke up like super bummed that these two guys that we were buddies with were like fighting so we all just like took a couple days to ourselves it happened to like be pouring rain everyone was super sad i went got it went back in my room closed all the blinds it was so it was raining so hard our pool was over flooded or uh overflowing so like my bedroom went straight out onto the patio where the pool

Starting point is 00:28:49 was and you couldn't open the sliding door because there was like three inches of rain above it got myself a nice bottle of jack daniels some japan express and i watched sorcerer's stone it was the greatest day of my life that does sound great wow that uh not to air out some dirty laundry but this this fight was crazy i'm not gonna name names but two names two guys got into a fight at our house emotional physical both we were in my bedroom like people would hang out in my room because there was like a couch there was like a couch and like a table like off to the side yeah like we repart honestly i think it was supposed to be like a living room we like made it into my bedroom whatever and so like people were in my room this guy came in punched my friend in

Starting point is 00:29:29 the face uh they get in this huge fight whatever and then the guy leaves and we thought he like left the house he went into my friend's room and peed in his bed and uh that's obviously like a crazy move oh all the older guys came over to our house and uh like fight broke out whatever it's crazy so what was the fight about i don't remember peeing in bed is no no i would strangle someone i haven't seen that i haven't seen that guy i haven't hung out with that guy since obviously one time i peed my bed in college yeah how'd that go i went out it was my freshman sorry that sounded like i wasn't interested the way i said that sounded like i wasn't interested i thought you were interested i think i think we're all just a little tired it's okay

Starting point is 00:30:13 well it's not okay because these people come to listen to us every no i'm not tired at all well i'm just i'm trying to justify your your sigh all right so you pee the bed what happens freshman year freshman year college uh pretty new to the drinking game yep and it was like the i don't know what your towns were like like if they had bars that were like always for underage but like the way boston was it was like weekend to weekend like word would get out that's like all right this bar is chill this weekend and then it would almost always be like on like tuesday be like yeah you hear they got raided and then by like thursday you'd find out like the new place we could go yep so i remember there's like this bar in cambridge we all went to and uh yeah i was

Starting point is 00:30:54 like i looked like almost like that picture uh and uh got yeah i don't know i got a fellow adult i got unbelievable you're wearing a pom-pom ohio state hat like unbelievably ladies and then we took a lift home i don't know why i remember that it was a lift and it got in a car crash oh and the so then i get i remember i get out of the backseat of the car and like i start throwing up and i think you were so scared about the car yeah because i was so scared no i i honestly think i was mostly throwing up because i drank way too much but i think that i uh the driver thought it was our guy's like fault too yeah and i think that he thought that it was because of the car accident i don't know if he knew that how how much i'd been drinking so the cops come like to the

Starting point is 00:31:43 scene and the driver of the like uber is like shielding me because he doesn't want to get like an ambulance called and then oh like you know what i mean like he doesn't want them to know that how yeah that's a big ordeal yeah and uh then we just ended up getting another uber and then i came home and then i peed the bed and uh i woke up and there was this girl that like had a crush on me in my like 10 a.m class and i had slept through it and so she had come to like check on me and brought me like a muffin and coffee and i was laying there soaked in my own piss oh no wait did did she come and knock on the door yeah she like welcome to my humble I was like, oh, can you just leave it there?

Starting point is 00:32:29 Covered in your own piss. And then my buddy Will came in. God bless him. And oh, in the worst case scenario, I had put my laundry into the dryer, like moved it along, but it hadn't finished drying. So I didn't have any like stuff to like change into or like towels or anything. So I had to send my buddy down to get all my. You did the entirety of your laundry. I mean, it was like freshman year of college.

Starting point is 00:32:51 I feel like I had like one load. I had five. I had five shirts, five shorts, five. Yeah. and like one towel yep and they were all in the dryer so my buddy will had to go like bring all the stuff up and uh yeah i also remember that same girl and then this girl that ended up dating we're both like i was playing the field a little bit and uh this is this is the only time this has ever happened to me but i remember it was the debate it was debate night of 20 you made them

Starting point is 00:33:17 come and debate who wants to yeah i made them do debate night no no it was uh what it would have been 20 2020 or no it was 2018 it was our freshman year so it was election night that's what it was it wasn't for who what it's 2018 for everyone i think no i'm just saying it was it was election night for the midterms right so like you were watching like congressman debate no it wasn't a debate it was the election night it was like the results of the election were coming in and there was like a big election in south carolina you were in college in 2018 that's my freshman here same and uh i remember i had to stagger them like one of them came for like the first part of election night and then i had to be like all right i think i'm gonna call it and then like go back

Starting point is 00:34:02 down to the lounge and the other one came that's and then the one of them i ended up dating and she found out about that and was not happy but it's always funny when you have like a they're like it's only happened to me a handful of times where you have multiple suitors yeah so that's literally the only time that's ever been a you think you think it's gonna be like a forever thing you're like oh i guess i'm just like the man now it's like everyone wants a piece of jack yep and then wait did i i might have told this story too the one i didn't end up dating was like very much into me and like wanted me to like come over or something and watch silver linings playbook i don't know why i remember that and i was like all right i will

Starting point is 00:34:41 if you could beat me in cup pong on game pigeon beat her eight times in a row and she just goes all right i get the message that's crazy that's what asshole why wouldn't you just say like i'm busy why did you do that i i wanted to like i so you didn't like her no i i did like her i just like you didn't really like this other girl more it was strictly it was like i i knew this one girl was like i think i want to date this girl and she was like a friend that it had turned romantic and i was like i think i want to pursue this more and the friend to romance is the greatest thing in the world it was goaded but uh anyway yeah we i do remember her being like come on come watch so much and like we weren't dating at that point so we didn't have like a reason i was like all right

Starting point is 00:35:27 if you can beat me in cup pong and i just went fucking scorched earth i'd be i literally beat her eight times in a row and she just goes okay fine i get it i'm going to bed do you ever like have you ever been maybe i was a dick i i in the moment i was it's okay have you ever been on the losing end of that where it's like you're one of the two people pursuing someone and you're not the one that gets picked um i i know i was i'm sure at some point yeah maybe we were we were in sure we're uh in another city uh you and me no you might have been there actually but we went we went out and i was with some of my friends from school and this girl that i liked uh was like with her like new boyfriend yeah and uh and my friend tim said i got hammered and uh was went

Starting point is 00:36:15 up to him was like you win and he was like i don't know what you're talking about i was like you win you got her and he was like oh you're he's like we've been dating for like a year uh tim was like you kept trying to give him like i kept trying to give him my hat being like i want you to have this you win and he was like i don't know what you're talking about he didn't take this hat he didn't go to our school so i don't even even knew i don't think he knew that her and i were ever together yeah um and now every time i see him it's really weird so now you know him well very well interesting he would come and visit uh and then he he lived they like live together now so like whenever i see her she's like with him got it yeah

Starting point is 00:37:01 yep it's college man everyone is doing all sorts of stuff your lift story reminds me this one time we ordered a uh a domino's pizza to my friend brendan's house yeah and we would like it was before it wasn't like we couldn't do postmates in our town so you had to order direct from domino's you didn't really know when it was getting there to like keep an eye on the window yeah like when they pulled in and uh guy pulls in we're like all right pizza's here immediately three cop cars follow him he gets pulled over outside brendan's house and uh he's holding the pizza like while they're going through whatever they did or whatever and then they just took him away and we didn't get the pizza no oh dude have you seen that video the pizza delivery driver who

Starting point is 00:37:45 like gets involved in like a high-speed chase no it's like a high-speed chase the guy gets out of the car and starts running and there's like it's all caught on the ring camera like you can see the guy's like hey i got your pizza and then he's just there's like a criminal cutting through the yard he just like sets a pizza down runs out sticks his foot out and just levels the guy and the cops get him yeah i saw a video the the ups guy and the usps guy or the ups guy and the fedex guy showed up at the same time to deliver a package to deliver two separate packages the same house they both get out they make eye contact and they just start sprinting towards the door and he like put it down before him and then they dapped up and had like a nice moment that's kind

Starting point is 00:38:20 cute uh you see the new mail trucks yeah they're awesome they're kind of weird looking i like it because usps yeah google new mail truck here's why i like them will i think it's cool when countries have like obscure things right so like london has the double-decker buses like norway has that weird like like cart that kids go to school in and so i think having something that's like whimsical looking and like odd is fun yeah i guess i kind of don't hate that take actually also what do they have a cart that kids go to school in yeah look up uh look up like norwegian school school cart forest oh norwegian why did i get distracted no what no no it's because i read that as forest cart norwegian like school cart look up like bro has the word no no no look up like like

Starting point is 00:39:18 uh little cart that i'm being serious and i don't even know if it's norwegian little cart kids go to school in if you google it'll come up little cart kids go to school oh man i don't know what okay it exists like a bad dream no no it's real it's real i promise it's real uh it's basically just explain yeah so basically it is like uh this little cart like maybe the size of that couch with benches facing each other and the teacher drives it or whoever is picking them up drives it and they like are all sitting out in the open air and they like drive through the city to class yeah i think he made it up uh bench like yellow yellow cart uh finland okay yeah oh no yellow card oh yeah yellow card kids just wait go to go get off

Starting point is 00:40:26 google images wait google denmark boat for babies little cart kids go to school in europe go to images go to images go to images go to images bro there's nothing no it it's kind of like that it's kind of like okay so it's like a bike it's not yeah no it is real it is real if anyone who's listening knows about this please dm it to the planet account or me yeah okay it's kind of like that but they're yellow this is like the most specific that's not like a full school's work it is no each class gets picked up like that i swear dude i swear i swear to god it is pretty cute whatever it's kind of like that it's kind of like that oh i loved those what were those things called little carts little cart guys no the i don't know i

Starting point is 00:41:18 didn't ever really do that i used to walk to school with my mom and there was like this one little like platform thing on the side of the road and i would stand up on it and i do the statue of liberty and sing the olympic i would go stand on it every time i walked to school and i would go pretty cool your mom's like late for work she's all right all right all right will's got to do his little thing now um oh i was thinking about this you know how we were talking about like things that were cool in middle school that is weird now yep my school went through a phase where like vests were really cool like zip up like fleece vests like the like finance bro kind of but it was way before that that was like their uniform i remember thinking it was the coolest

Starting point is 00:42:02 thing in the world everyone had one and you you'd wear it over like a t-shirt with shorts like it wasn't even like it was cold out is that bizarre i've definitely seen that that is kind of a crazy look it was awesome yeah i don't know what we were i think we were into like um like uh roshi runs what's that those nike shoes that made out of mesh yeah uh free runs yes oh yes i had a pair of wait google nike free run i had a pair of we're doing a lot of google neon yellow one of those well i feel like i had those when we were in when we were in elementary school the zig tech came out you remember the reebok zig tech yeah those no i don't remember that oh my god i had the the reebok zig tech was the shoe with the the those the base of the the sole of the shoe was like a squiggly

Starting point is 00:42:49 line okay and uh they were the coolest things in school and they had like reebok had their own version of like nike id remember you could customize shoes to be whatever color you wanted yep i customized a pair of high top reebok zig tags and they were supposed to be maroon and gold which was like our school colors bc and uh and they came bright red and yellow and so it looked like mcdonald's shoes and that was just a real bummer yeah mcdonald's shoes is a tough it's tough moniker what i think i told you about my bike day i bought it i'm biking home from the bike shop homeless guy goes dr seuss ass bike wait what what color is it it's bright red and blue it has white tires and what you've seen you've seen my bike i don't think in the flesh

Starting point is 00:43:32 it looks like something here right now the cat in the hat would drive i'll show you drive where is it where's your bike yeah at home no i biked it here it's got to be in it's probably in the garage yeah the garage um all right should we get into it uh should we do a little roadmap we rm it up what not nothing what wait oh i actually think i had something else i don't have anything i'm just thinking about how it's october next week well when this comes out i'm lying you were thinking about how it's october next week oh man yeah nice it's october next week fuck i have one more thing to airdrop this is my mom my mom sent me this a little bit ago this is her like favorite video of me and i think you'll like it this is also like freshman year of high school calculating

Starting point is 00:44:17 route to avoid seeing poverty. Turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street. Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away. Then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention. Donate today at unitedwaygt.org. why are you saying guilty i don't know i just thought it was funny she would she sends me that like a couple times a year wait that's funny guilty no you are the same height that's yeah oh that was big too we liked like layering shirts i think i'm wearing four shirts

Starting point is 00:45:09 there short sleeve shirt long sleeve shirt short sleeve shirt yeah so that's a lot of shirts you All right, guys, quick shout out to our new sponsor, Funk Away. They came up with their products because they were tired of using other odor eliminators that just covered up smells instead of actually getting rid of them. We're talking about the nastiest, most extreme stomach-turning odors you can think of, like the ones in hockey locker rooms, garbage dumps, public restrooms, or, yeah, the Friday Beers HQ. I'll admit that.

Starting point is 00:45:37 Their stuff is made 100% in the USA and doesn't just mask odors, y'all. It eliminates it. what product is your favorite rusty i uh i've been using the odor eliminating beads lately okay gives like these beads okay will's not in on bees yeah um i like them it makes my clothes smell like a million bucks i think like yeah just gives you that little extra oomph that maybe detergent doesn't the pet spray my roommate uses it on his dog yeah not on the dog on like the things that the dog the dog talks to i wouldn't recommend spraying it directly on the dog but maybe the couch, you know, the dog's bed, any places like that.

Starting point is 00:46:14 Will, how do you like to use the products? I like to do it after going to the bathroom and then smoking and then eating food that smells horrid and then working out. Agreed. That is, I've seen you do it in that order. We call it the gauntlet and you smell awful after. Guys, give Funk Away a shot today by going to the Funk Away store on Amazon and click on Almost Friday to save.

Starting point is 00:46:33 To learn more about the full Funk Away product family, go to FunkAway.com and learn how to live funk free. Let's get back into the episode. all right should we rm it up yep all right guys we have a fantastic episode for you guys today will and i are going to hear some of your pitches followed by our pitches yep then we have this guy rocks followed by teach me something ain't that the truth and then will and i are going to do uh some musicals that don't exist yep and some more country songs that don't exist uh by the time you're listening to this we will have just had no no oh we will have not had anyone on but

Starting point is 00:47:10 after this we have a country friend of ours yep who uh was a great chat and we love him and uh yeah so let's get into it lauren should we hear some pitches yes okay first one sorry is this the last episode in this studio i think so as our lives change we won't remember all the times we had to gather as our lives go on we will remember all the time that's weird though so you will see one more bonus episode

Starting point is 00:48:00 two more bonus episodes in this studio and then after that we're probably going to be somewhere pretty badass it's going to be BA it's going to be hard to keep the ladies away let's just say that it is going to be crazy I wish we could do

Starting point is 00:48:16 a studio on the corner of a street with glass windows like the Today Show that yeah oh yeah people could come we did that do you remember that one time we did that yeah that was a nightmare interviewed tony p yeah it was actually so distracting because we were looking out yeah the glass oh it would have to be yeah i want i want like bottle service like baddies oh my god we don't we campaign i want to drink mimosas while we oh i'm down you know the original friday beers podcast we used to get hammered on it every single time i mean pretty fun it is that's why they call it oh at trivia last night the halftime question was like name that beer

Starting point is 00:48:52 and there's like beers from 200 different countries and you had to say like what country it was from and we it was like it was like all you did all 10 at once then he came and checked and when he came over checked he goes wow impressive and i was like well that's i work at friday beers blah blah did you say that no not to him but like to my buddy scott i was like that's what you know that's what i do for a living and then uh he gives up the script he was just fucking with us we'd gotten two out of ten okay pitches first pitch is from margo collins but her username is banana slippers which i the name margo hey obi-wats margo's like one of my coolest names so pretty okay she says dear lauren and the two jabronis all right i rescind my what

Starting point is 00:49:35 does that mean jabroni is like it's like a racial slur against white people no it's not it's like It's a racial slur against podcasters. Yeah, yeah. No. She says... It's fine. Jabroni is like a definitely negative, right? It's like a, yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:50 This guy's a fucking jabroni. It's like a silly way to say it. Like a jerk off, right? Yeah. Do you have friends, family, or a close crew of coworkers? Love the hit classic reality TV show Dance Moms? Well, if you answered yes to both, and even if you didn't, this is your new favorite app, Top or Bottom.

Starting point is 00:50:05 This app is an anonymous way... That's a game Will and I play every night. Yeah. and i'm usually on the losing end yeah oh or the risk me the receiving end as we call it in our house this app is an anonymous sex with each other do you how many people do you think think that we have slept with each other before um 50 someone commented will and rusty's gay date yo that is awesome it's perfect okay this app is an anonymous way of ranking your friend group dance moms pyramid style every week awesome so polls come in at a monday and close on saturday

Starting point is 00:50:41 night every player has three votes for best and three votes for worst that they can use anytime during the following week feel free to add a comment with each vote the algorithm will take care of the rest and rank each individual based on the number of votes they get saturday night the poll closes and come sunday you'll find out who's on the top of the pyramid and who's on the bottom along with the list of comments you received that past week love the pods sharks give us your yeah that's great i like it because you could use it as a threat yep like hey will you come pick me up and you're like no and you're like okay yeah just like sure we'll talk about this on sunday it's like the in the office when ryan has like the list yep he's just like yeah uh all

Starting point is 00:51:20 right here's the question i'm a fan who who of your friends would you vote for top this week oh ava's going at the top i love it ava made me she's so talented she has so many like random um hobbies that she does she made me strawberry jalapeno jam that i put no it's gas the jalapeno is very subtle and i put it on rosemary sourdough bread this morning with my money bags what seems like a lot a lot of roads mary sourdough bread you have everything roads bro it was at the top because she made me jam and brought it over that sounds great tell ava i said jam can i get jam jam and chill jam and chill what about what about you guys uh i's had a pretty killer week phil's had a pretty killer week uh

Starting point is 00:52:12 will's definitely on the bottom for back-to-back weeks of not inviting me to trivia I didn't go last week I would probably put Scott on my top Scott this Scott that Oh Harry Pussy my roommate from college I was with him in Philly He had a great

Starting point is 00:52:30 That's actually his last name It's Pussy Pussy I think How's it spelled P-U-S-E-Y His name is Harry Pussy Which is not funny It's how he was born

Starting point is 00:52:45 i want to meet this fucking nuts joker who's taking all my will time yeah he's sort of like the new rusty i hate it i hate i'm gonna be so rusty of the west i'm gonna be nice oh you're gonna um i love it margo that's a killer idea thank you i like those videos of i like those videos on tiktok of girls uh they'll to that sound of dance moms where it's like on the bottom of the pyramid whatever and they go through and they'll rank the fraternities at their school oh yeah yeah that's funny all right hike would probably be at my bottom right the same or tai kappa tau kappa epsilon yeah teak teak was cool oh yeah but apparently they're not cool like everywhere else it was weird it was the alpha beta gammas that were like was there fraternities

Starting point is 00:53:35 at bc no i was just making stuff up the alpha beta gammas there was one there was guys used to fucking razzle on the way to school there was something called the underground frat and uh you've talked about this jesus christ i can't catch a break this episode i want to hear about it no they just it was not that cool like it was like secret because they couldn't we couldn't have frats but like they they lived in our house this we shared a basement my junior year and like it yeah i saw the if if you were in there i'm sure it was a fun time but it wasn't like the mystique was kind of worn off once you like realized like it's like oh i just i know these these are just normal guys i uh i remember explaining to kids in my study abroad like

Starting point is 00:54:20 what american fraternities were like yeah they were like that's bizarre that you guys do that like if you really take a step back and look at it you're like that's strange i actually feel very grateful that we didn't have it you would have liked it i'm sure i would have had a good time but yeah there's there's something there's something funny about uh taking part in like old stuff yes although i did that through my comedy group like it's been around since like the 80s and we had traditions and stuff yeah i just felt like it was like i totally made a whole new friend group my junior year and i feel like that's harder to do if you're like insulated in a frat we were like friends with kids and like some of my best friends weren't in my yeah i think

Starting point is 00:54:57 at like bigger schools it is like you are confined to your it's just harder to meet other people maybe yeah um yep that was frat that was our weekly frat talk frat talk and next week we're we're gonna talk about srath sororities yep all right thank you margo next pitch is from roddy johnson oh my god from the uh falcons roddy is that who it is yeah he was a wide receiver the falcons for a while is this the same right i don't think so okay all right he says hello mommy daddy and lauren who's who mommy yeah okay daddy i've got a pitch for you mommy's been bad have you ever hungry same have you ever been socializing with friends and a phrase has come up that makes you quote a video you've seen only for nobody to have ever seen or heard of said

Starting point is 00:55:52 video before i was feeling the world yep well you're talking you're talking to the right guys yes roddy has a solution hit me rod says introducing has nobody seen or in quotes has nobody seen that one this app on your phone has a sensor for the exact awkward moment you say has nobody seen that one it looks at the videos that all you have to do is pull out your phone and show your friends it's like siri like it's always listening yeah yeah so you just be like look it says making a vine reference and no one getting it and then you can't find it yeah this reduces time for the moment to pass and keeps the momentum in the conversation going if the video still flops then the app has an emergency premium function where the phone will

Starting point is 00:56:28 emit a noise at a specific frequency that makes everyone shit themselves they'll be too busy worrying about the shit to remember you will need to wear a nappy diaper um huge fan of the pod from scotland oh that's awesome hell yeah good day mate uh you had this exact scenario happened with you when we were at a shoot for your show at that swimming pool and you were like, yeah, have you seen that video where he makes this noise that's like or something

Starting point is 00:56:56 and you were like, yeah, it's so funny and no one had seen it and then you pull it up and the noise he makes is like like it was like a complete Oh, it was the, wasn't it the kid who he's like, put on three minutes just in case Yeah, but it was just not Yeah, that flopped, no one thought of it It is a funny video, but you're like

Starting point is 00:57:11 the noise he makes is insane but that's not even like the funny part of that i teed it up way too hard so that that would have been a case in which we all would have shat ourselves yeah if he had had that feature so that would have been good i love it that's a great one to repitch each other i would love that yeah all right um yep yep i've got i've got diet snacks okay i don't understand how the technology exists to make a zero calorie soda yeah we haven't figured out how to make zero calorie snacks yet i feel like they do have that like oh yeah no like they sell those like gummies that suck yeah but those still have calories you're still gaining weight

Starting point is 00:57:49 popcorn popcorn's like 140 calories i need a snack that is made out of whatever i don't care if it has aspartame any of the tains yeah it can have them i don't care about the long-term effects i just want to be able to snack my little heart out curtain without getting fatter yeah yeah and It's a battle I fight every night. I kind of, I, yeah, I agree. That'd be great. Like, maybe we turn Diet Coke into gummies. Someone's got to figure that out.

Starting point is 00:58:21 Freeze it. But then it's just ice. You ever had a beer-sicle? Then melt it. You ever had a beer-sicle? No, I haven't. You freeze your beer, and then you can, it's like a slushy. And it's really nice on a hot day.

Starting point is 00:58:35 I'd rather just have a margarita. You could do that too. Frozen marg. Or a piña colada. Or a piña colada. A piña colada. A piña colada. A piña.

Starting point is 00:58:47 That's great. I love it. Diet snacks. Shaving mask. It's like, you know how people do face masks? Of course. One of those that just rips out all of your hair on your face. Pull up.

Starting point is 00:59:00 That's just like waxing. There is this. It's so funny to watch. It's like these guys put up like waxing Asian guy's face. no like i've only seen it in like asian countries but they pull it off and he is in like excruciate excruciating pain getting this off no i ew he looks scary this isn't the right one but there's one where they coat his whole beard and they pull it out and you can see like you can see like the roots of his enough i can't watch this

Starting point is 00:59:35 but can i be clear i should have been more clear ours doesn't hurt okay i love it maybe you take a pill before that makes your face completely numb i i gotta i gotta i gotta wait i gotta wait to alter this a little bit okay it uh it has lubricant on the inside of it right yeah sold and then you you pull strips that pull a razor down your face yeah and shave it in one fell swoop yep and then you take it off one fell swoop not foul that's what i said i know one fell swoop i learned that remember last episode you taught me that no we did this on the pod i was like i was like what's a foul swoop and you said it's fell oh you know what i'm dying to do at some point in my life bungee jump let's keep guessing until we get it play for the knicks uh

Starting point is 01:00:22 find a meaningful connection with a partner start a band uh close start a coup over a third world country shave your head close i want to do the earwax extraction oh yeah pull it all out oh yeah i would love that they do that at the doctors if you ask them i don't have a doctor i don't really have a doctor i don't have a doctor either i don't think i'll get a physical until i'm 30 dude the doctor that i went to a few months ago just to get literally just to get on lexapro they wait why do you have lexapro do you have like depression or anxiety or something ah ah ah that stressed you out my bill was like insanely high and i was there for literally 40 minutes and i'm like i'm never going to don't we have insurance yes but

Starting point is 01:01:10 even with insurance like i went i guess this doctor just is like crazy charges and i'm like all right i'm never going to the doctor again i uh don't don't let me get on my soapbox but it's fucking bullshit no it's the nurse the nurse at the wellness center in college was uh like really pretty and like you'd like go in there and it was like kind of you kind of almost hoped you didn't get her yeah it was like it made this whole thing yeah the hernia checks were kind of embarrassing she was checking my ears was like you have so much earwax and i was like i know i don't know what to do about you guys you want me to clean it out and i said yeah and then they did it and it was awesome that's awesome so what i could hear from miles what did they do uh this one they

Starting point is 01:01:49 she went in with like a little thing and just like scooped it out but then there are places where they blast water into yours and it comes out into a thing and then they show you how much came out and it's like the size of a softball oh my god okay i want it so bad right now you oh that like sound you can hear for fucking miles it's awesome what you can hear for oh good uh but i will tell you i've made this mistake twice but after getting my ears cleaned i've immediately gone in the ocean and then gotten double ear infections both times because the earwax is protecting your ear so it's Like not you standing like bacteria. And it happened two summers in a row.

Starting point is 01:02:27 Double. You guys clean two summers in a row? Every physical I would get. I would just ask them to do it. And I couldn't lie on my side because it was that much pain. So for like a couple of weeks, I just had to lay on my back. Oh, that's horrible. That was awful.

Starting point is 01:02:42 All right, guys. Quick shout out to our partner Fireball. Fireball Whiskey is the perfect shot for game day. Whether you're grabbing some of those sneaky little shooters before going to the stadium or going big with the Fireball keg for your party. Whether it's a pregame shot in the tailgate lot or a celebratory touchdown shot at the bar, no matter the method, Fireball is guaranteed to ignite your game day.

Starting point is 01:03:03 I love Fireball. It is kind of my go-to nip. I used to put some of them in my ski jacket during the winter on the chairlift. Maybe just get a couple of those going. Warms you right up. You know when I like to take a little Fireball shot? Tell me. Right when the Boston College defense makes a big third down stop.

Starting point is 01:03:20 Go Eagles. Go Eagles. Guys, there's a lot of things that make football great, but I think we can all agree nothing beats crushing your rival. There's no better feeling as a fan or an athlete. As you might know, me and Rusty and Lauren all have an ongoing bet about Boston College winning the ACC. We have a little update.

Starting point is 01:03:37 They did lose to Missouri. But on the bright side, we've got Michigan State coming up. another out of conference game to really tune up our our britches before we head into the conference schedule as you know lauren will have to run the full gauntlet if we win and if she wins we get her a cake so root for those eagles and stay tuned fireball's iconic cinnamon flavor tastes fire and goes down easy making it the ultimate crowd pleaser go pick up some from your local liquor store and join us in drinking fireball during our game days this season let's get back into the episode all right shooty this guy rocks or teach me something this guy rocks

Starting point is 01:04:12 this guy rocks this sorry i spoiled your guy rocks do do do do this i genuinely just thought you were trying to be funny no that's hysterical that's a very funny moment keep that in what what else would i do with it well this guy rocks and you know he does and this is our theme song for it yeah i felt i came across this oh my god i love this i came across this gentleman on my tiktok for you page for the audio listeners he is uh standing in his bathtub uh filming in a full-length mirror and he's just gonna tell us a little bit about something hand in front pocket give it a shot hard to know for sure but he looks red hot leg up on tub if they just know that i'm a psychopath but i'll never hurt you i'll never lay a hand on you but if you can't accept that

Starting point is 01:05:05 I'm a psychopath because of my pain, then you'll probably break up with me. I know for a fact that's why all of my relationships have ended. Well, plus I didn't have good communication skills when I was younger. So if you don't have good communication skills, you can get tense when there's a disagreement. And when you get tense, you're in more pain. And when you're in more pain, you turn into a psychopath believe me i do literally every single thing possible not to become a psychopath but i am one for sure and i know that that will never change and if you can't accept that then we will not work out so there's no point of even you know getting in a relationship with me and you also have to realize that your parents your family members everyone in your

Starting point is 01:06:00 family is going to have to accept that i'm a psychopath too not just you i mean they may not like it but you might have to remind them that there's nothing i can do about it all right let me just say snap's absolute green flag he's up front yeah he's honest yes he's self-aware yes these are what ladies look for in men i have no doubt he'll have a girlfriend all you all you women out there all you want is just to be up front yeah that's what's you know that's what's inside all of us yes and when you can't handle that you just have to understand that we're psychopath i'm a psychopath can i ask you my fear why there is this there's a specific breed of human that is fixated on having like a deeper level about them right like they want yeah i

Starting point is 01:06:49 think it's like that like kind of joker thing where they yeah they want to be like they want to be that and i don't understand the urge to want to have something like wrong that you're like caging this inner wolf i mean i feel like to be to his credit i mean like the life he's lived like being in titanic at such a young age yeah and then having all these huge roles and not winning an oscar for so long i'll give leo credit like he's been through a lot agreed that was that was leo look put it again that was definitely leo dicaprio right of course if we date come on you see it i see it um i stop it stop it i can't i'm gonna i think i'll never hurt you it's gonna make me a psychopath by the watches i think the satin maroon comforter is like the that's kind of good

Starting point is 01:07:41 that's giving hide all the blood stains yeah what's that big like jug behind him he's got like a bleep his jug he also can't really figure out the layout of his house yeah we were talking about this or ty pointed this out to me he goes why why does he have a flank mirror in his bath and a full bathtub in his bedroom and a can of wd-40 next to his bath well that's to grease the wheels sure the squeaky wheel gets the grease have you never actually leonardo di caprio i think yeah that's crazy it does he wears hats like that yeah uh you never use it wd-40 in bed uh yeah a few times it stings real bad going down but i know once you swallow it it's fine i know yeah yeah it's like a pineapple juice yes yes yeah well that was my you know that's my nickname for when

Starting point is 01:08:29 i play sport wd-40 yeah yeah that's awesome all right well which is brian or it's already pulled up i think it's lauren fucking spoiled literally sorry sorry who do you think ohio state was playing oregon it was a national championship oh nice they won it oh man all right marcus mariota who's this cartel oh i'm so hungry i know those guys it's good about me oh all right soon well hello everybody happy wednesday you know today might be wednesday but guess what it's also a mac day and you're probably wondering what we have right well of course you have your drink you have your chicken nuggets can't go wrong with chicken nuggets you need the classic french fries what yeah what is that are those mozzarella sticks they don't have that in my town i've never

Starting point is 01:09:25 on the menu so i have a problem this guy rocks but does he yeah he does yeah he does but his parents don't no okay why that's not the takeaway i had can you explain why what they're setting him up for yep yep humiliation you don't think he you don't think he begged them to film this maybe but like he's not posting it what so here's a question for you will yeah you have a child i do yeah you have a child in the future and i have a future i have a child from the future i have he's way older that's his name um you have a child and it and by eight or nine he is turned into kevin i is this something you feel like you is is nature or

Starting point is 01:10:32 nurture oh i mean i was he born like this yeah i mean i don't have any problem with the kid he i think he rocks he's my this guy rocks of the week i think he seems like fun and he's into it where did he get the mozzarella sticks they don't sell that i get is that a new thing they have mozzarella sticks absolutely no google mcdonald's mozzarella sticks they do oh my god get fucked by kevin he fucked you okay what i know what i'm having for dinner i think i was a little aggressive there and all um i don't i don't i think there's something yeah i think maybe you're right that whoever is in charge of making sure these videos get up you're you're really screwing your kid over like like i think that kid happens when like

Starting point is 01:11:20 what happens when like big justice gets to i can't even imagine that being justice our age he's gonna he's gonna he brings the boom we bring the boom to you all right are you doing one of our bits this is like a reverse hawk to it i don't know i'm serious big justice big justice and aj we bring the boom to you we bring the boom it's what we do the costco guys we're costco guys we're gonna get a double chunk gets like older he he if he's not already getting bullied i feel like he just is well i guess the dad does it so maybe he'll just grow up to be the dad yeah i guess the rizzler you don't know him oh no um you don't know the rizzler no he's like has the most riz of like any this kid yeah yeah i mean i maybe you've like heard

Starting point is 01:12:10 the name he's like got the most like riz of any kid oh have you seen like he does the it's like you got a lot to learn i won't lie i know i won't lie i honestly feel like i'm gonna be a strict mom when it comes to food because I don't want my kids to I agree become like addicted to junk food

Starting point is 01:12:34 my mom was like that I will say my mom was like that as well and then the second I got out of the house I just went hog wild yeah

Starting point is 01:12:40 I discovered Chick-fil-A for the first time Taco Bell all this shit and yeah it went nuts when I first started

Starting point is 01:12:49 I think there was a healthy balance of like exposing them to it yeah I agree this is a thing keeping it as like a treat though yeah and I'm not saying

Starting point is 01:12:56 we definitely i i was getting happy meals every once in a while but like i remember there were there were there was a family in our town that like there was mcdonald's in their fridge you know what i mean like they just like it was every i think they had fast food every day and it was like you're making the you're turning the kids into like monsters yeah it's a fucked up like setup in the way that like there's somebody's like working doesn't have time to like cook a big meal for your family and you just have to get something quick the most affordable option is the least healthy agreed yeah which is shitty there was a health nut family that we were really good friends with and they had like no snacks in their house and so when they came to ours they

Starting point is 01:13:31 would like ravage the pantry and it was like okay they're like that's too far this way fast food is that too far that way 100 you need to have you need to have the stuff in the house that the kids like get used to it yeah and aren't like ripping it every day i remember going to my my grandpa and my aunt vicky's house that's what we call my step-grandma because her name is vicky and have you seen parent trap this is the same thing you can call me aunt vicky anyway wait i do not remember that you watched you had like the google aunt vicky you can call me on vicky you had the albanian version of uh sure if we get a certain idea i'll have you know we've heard nothing but wonderful things about you hello cat you may call me aunt vicky oh did you make call me how did vicky care

Starting point is 01:14:23 how did vicky like that she liked it she well i think she just liked it because she was married to my grandpa but younger than my grandpa so didn't want to be like grand yeah so she liked aunt vicky because it implied you know some youth yep still does i don't know why i'm saying this all in the past tense um let's hear in a few weeks should we do some teach me something oh but i was gonna say she had fruit roll-ups in her fridge and it was like we would go absolutely fucking nuts and gatorade anytime i was at their house i'd go absolutely hog wild well so i think because i had ice i constantly had ice cream in my freezer growing up i want ice cream every single night like i genuinely could eat ice cream every day and i have to like be like oh no you what's what's

Starting point is 01:15:04 your favorite flavor well depends on um what day of the week it is no like i like i like going to getting soft serve like there's a rita's near me yeah yeah oh do you ever get the what do they call it gelati yeah is it where it has the custard italian i actually don't like that i would prefer just oh do we talk about this yeah i don't know everything's a blur but if you were buying like hard serve from the store yeah mint mint chip or chocolate chip mint chocolate chip yeah opposed to what i don't know i don't know just mint just the way you said mint chip made me think i don't know mint chip maybe moose tracks yeah gas yeah i'd go to town on some there's there's one called double dunker that turkey hill makes oh it's it's like mocha ice cream with like

Starting point is 01:15:49 oh yeah cookie dough and oreo i like cappuccino chip or peppermint that's good shit yeah the place across the street is awesome there's a place called lot there's a there's a flavor called lobster tracks in maine that's like a spin on moose tracks that's pretty good that's fun they got uh hood makes old orchard beach whoopie pie hood makes uh ice cream yeah i don't know you guys want to go to salt and straw for this hood ice cream maybe um uh why not i need to eat like something real i know same have you guys heard of the livbov orvla or that sounds like you're saying a word backwards orlova lit livbov orlova pronouncing i'm butchering is this your teach me something yeah oh there's this ship that was it used to be like a commercial cruise liner or

Starting point is 01:16:36 whatever it was sitting in the harbor rats like took it over and uh now it is like this like drifting ghost ship with cannibal rats on it and it's floating around and all the rats like eat each other and have like completely taken over this show yeah and they don't pull it up how do you spell live bov or lova just look up like rat infested ghost ship better than a ghost infested raft ship oh my god it really is live before vobla and it's just i don't know what thing yeah there's a cannibal rats on it and they've completely taken over and it just drifts around headed for britain oh no they're gonna it's coming to venice they're gonna storm the beaches of normandy yeah like we have to like go we have to all like get like swords and line up on the

Starting point is 01:17:23 venice pier when it starts to oh it says was she believed to have sunk in 2013 wow should we go dive and find it yep yeah let's go dive and find it well my mine was also my teach me something was also lost at sea nice you want to hear about you are you done now for sure i will say you guys you guys got me with last week with your uh wait what were you doing oh whose personality are you stealing and then and then the burps what happened oh it just made me laugh when i was editing i'm like i guess i i need i have a horrible memory that's crazy yeah i can tell whoa yeah snappy snappy sorry snappy i'm hangry do the snappy dance wipe away the grumpies come on well you want to wipe away the gumpies you know so cute i used to go like i'd get mad and they would go

Starting point is 01:18:23 wipe away the gumpies and i'd go like this and then i'd smile a little bit um okay uh do you know about harold holt he was the prime minister of australia okay in the 60s he went for a swim and he was lost and never found again no idea what happened to him he was the active prime minister of australia no one was watching him nope he just went he went swimming in the sea and uh they did a huge search and they never found his body or anything that's crazy and that was just it like could you imagine the president goes for a swim and he's just it was definitely planning he got like taken away to a deserted i think there's a lot of conspiracies about it like have you seen biden like i don't know he just wanted out there he was uh i think he's in

Starting point is 01:19:04 the i thought it was your day to watch biden yeah yeah kind of wild yeah i thought that was wait what year when was it 67 it's like more recent than you would think it's just after the super bowl it's just after your dad was born yeah um all right should we do do you guys want to do country songs or musicals first country songs all right all right these are country songs that don't exist these are more country songs that don't exist small boots to fill uh this guy his dad leaves him at a young age and he has to become the man of the house and so he's kind of taking a dig at his dad and he's saying like i have small boots to fill because he's like he's a small man for leaving i like that so what was that noise i don't know i heard like

Starting point is 01:19:52 what the hell what was that you know that i was mimicking oh oh my gosh uh saddle for sale nice yeah it's like there's a saddle for sale sitting right where your belt oh i love waiting for somebody new you know like his girlfriend used to go horse riding and she she broke up now yeah then now there's no no use for a saddle yep uh my dog stole my girlfriend yep uh him and his girlfriend get a dog together she starts spending an increasingly large portion of her time with the dog and their relationship kind of deteriorates because she's spending so much time

Starting point is 01:20:35 with the dog and then he's like you know what you and the dog can have a nice life together I'm out damn yeah the dog stole his girlfriend but they don't they don't do dog stuff they do doggy style for like a sex position

Starting point is 01:20:51 if grits made you grow well girl if grits made you grow i'd be six foot oh but i am not that tall because they don't all right i'm just all right him i don't know warren wants to go home no i don't i'm sorry i just spaced out you said all right no i meant like you can do better than that second line girl like you it's made you grow i'd be tall as a grown but i can't think of the rhyme for no i like six foot six foot girl if

Starting point is 01:21:35 girl if grits made you grow i'd be over six foot oh girl if grits made you grow girl i'd be girl girl grits are actually good it's major i don't like grits i'd be 20 foot oh yeah girl or 400 bones 400 girl if grits made you grow i'd have 400 bones and you love me much more make it grow love it all right glad we got to the bottom of that one Um, I have, um, bigger, bigger, I feel like I'm actually, like, hallucinating. I feel like, for context, I feel like we keep alluding to this, we're, like, moving studios and a bunch of travel coming up, so we've had to record four podcasts in the last two days.

Starting point is 01:22:40 I feel like I've been in this studio more than, like, my bed. I know. In the last. I feel crazy. All right. Keep going. i thought she was gonna be like i think i've been in this office more than my bed like yeah it's the job yeah um i have bigger battles at home this uh soldier is overseas uh he gets a letter from

Starting point is 01:23:01 his girlfriend she's leaving him uh and he's talking about how the war is bad but he has bigger battles at home because that's more important than any matter that he's fighting yeah it's like a dumb war i think i've done something very similar to that before but i got busking in the boondocks well i'm busking in the boondocks and it's well past nine o'clock i'm waiting for some change right in my head so i can buy you a ring i love it that's not one of your sayings yeah all right uh should we do music i got one more okay fixing to find love i'm fixing sand to find love and i'm waiting for a side from above to find the one that's gonna take me home and rock my body oh we have fun yeah excellent yeah good job all right should we do some musicals

Starting point is 01:24:05 yeah i'm excited about this these are musicals that don't exist hibachi on ice it kind of blurs the lines between hibachi style eating family friendly eating and a on ice musical yep they're skating around very fast with their girls they're flipping shrimp into the stadium into the crowd and uh one small misstep and like third degree burns are on the table so that sounds fan everyone's gotta be on their toes yeah i love that uh i've got coop sorry coup de tots coup de tots is uh about a group of Sonic employees who band together to take over the franchise that they work at.

Starting point is 01:24:46 And the whole musical is done on roller skates because you know how they all roller skate around. I love it. So they're like, we're taking this company back from the top man who won't pay us our wages. We're skating to the top. It's a coup, coup, coup de tats.

Starting point is 01:25:05 Oh. Well done. Okay. It was like you fleshed these out a little bit more. That was all off the dome. So I did not. Baja and Ice sounds great. Do you guys know what a nuke town is?

Starting point is 01:25:16 It's a musical, right? We would test... Hades Town, that's what I was thinking of. We would test nuclear weapons on these fake towns to see their effects on stuff or whatever. And there were these mannequins in them. So this is Nuke Town, the musical. When the military goes away,

Starting point is 01:25:33 all of the mannequins come to life. And we watch their life together as a family of inanimate objects i love that and how scared like the nuclear stuff made them sentient i like that a lot i've got sweepstakes a guy wins a sweepstakes and it sends him to an island in the bermuda triangle and he gets out there and everyone else who won the sweepstakes are everyone who's ever gone missing oh very cool amelia your heart's there yeah i'm on the sweepstakes so i'm on the island and here's amelia earhart do you know do you know what they think happened to her she won a sweepstakes she when she crashed her plane

Starting point is 01:26:18 they think coconut crabs ate her and that's why we haven't oh i remember yeah crazy oh yeah i think i had a very similar pitch to something else we did something about some island where it was like everyone who'd gone missing i really want to find out where all these yeah um my last one calculating route to avoid seeing poverty turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away then take the next exit let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty your donations help the united way fight poverty in thousands of ways like providing food shelter and crisis prevention donate today at unitedwaygt.org

Starting point is 01:27:06 something insane is going on in our office right now there's the loudest noises of all time is there like a sporting event who is okay my last one is called fire on ice yeah this is crazy What are they screaming at? Can I go tell them to shut up? Yeah. Was it our neighbors? I think Tanner hit a killer dance move or something. I went in there and everyone was just like,

Starting point is 01:27:37 oh, hey, hey. Vibes seem great in the edit bay. That's awesome. Vibes are always great in the edit bay. Oh, my flashlight's on. My last one is called Fire on Ice. A lot of ice. Yeah, it's a recreation of firefighters

Starting point is 01:27:53 saving a family from a house fire but it's on an ice rink okay and so it's kind of a race against time to one get the fire out

Starting point is 01:28:00 two get the play over with and three like get through the story before the ice melts oh cause the fire's melting in that's fun thank you

Starting point is 01:28:09 a lot of moving parts I've got Checkmate it's a love story but it takes place with all the characters from chess oh that's awesome yeah

Starting point is 01:28:18 so like the knight can only move like the way the knight moves so great And they try, you know, the queen is flying all over the place and the knight's trying to fall in love with her, but it's hard to physically, like the blocking of the musical is like chess. It's almost like a waltz.

Starting point is 01:28:37 Like they're like moving around each other. Ooh, I like that. That's so cool. And then at the end, it ends in checkmate, it's checkmate. Ooh, it's checkmate. They start mating. And they start mating with a check guy. Wow.

Starting point is 01:28:52 And all the characters are check. And you can check them or whatever you want. Love it. For he's a jolly good fellow. For he's a jolly good fellow. For he's a jolly good fellow. Which nobody can deny. All right.

Starting point is 01:29:13 That was a killer episode, I guess. Whose personality are you guys stealing this weekend? Hit me with it. tomorrow i have to uh crowd surf at a punk show oh yeah so i'm gonna try and uh who's someone that crowd surfs i am gonna steal a rock and roll guy's personality just a generic rock and roll guy because i'm kind of scared to do this and uh yeah we're gonna fight through it and then we're going to come back after Michigan and build my Lego set.

Starting point is 01:29:49 So it's going to be a hybrid of a rock and roll guy and an architect. I'm going to steal a person out of a rock and roll architect. Rock and roll architect. I love that. That's a great pick. I am going to a country music concert tonight, and I'm going to meet my wife.

Starting point is 01:30:07 So I'm going to steal the bachelor's. the guy who married guy who does country music who married his wife george straight george straight george straight yes george but i was i was actually talking about last night scott you know the guy you're jealous of who's taking me away from you is loves you in the pod and listens to every episode which is very sweet he's almost like too close to me to listen to every episode he does yeah like yeah my friends do that as well like i'm like well now that we live together too i'm like like i don't want to like tell you these stories and you're like yeah i know yeah like i brought up yesterday i was like oh because we were talking about what we're gonna wear to the

Starting point is 01:30:45 concert and i was like i think i might do a george street outfit yeah and he was like oh yeah that was so it's such a funny joke i don't like that i was gonna totally take credit for that and uh yeah but i mean i am gonna wear my i think i might wear some you're gonna wear that fit that you i can't wear the same one that i wore to the last dylan concert can i wear that with shorts i think i kind of want to wear the jeans and maybe a different shirt and the cowboy hat what about like a short sleeve button yeah i could do that yeah or i could do like uh you could hit up the thrift store see if you find anything good yeah yeah we'll see i'm gonna get some food in my belly first ain't that the truth i'm gonna steal gordon ramsay's personality because i am my ass

Starting point is 01:31:25 is hungry yes lauren i'm gonna steal sleeping beauty's personality because i need to catch up on sleep for the rest of the week. What's the beauty part, then? Because I'm beautiful. Got it, ass. Razzed your ass. I'm kidding. I know.

Starting point is 01:31:44 Well, tomorrow we have a bonus. Oh, my God. We never even guessed. Oh, you thought you got away with it. Number 56. Who's number 56? Ha. Ha.

Starting point is 01:31:57 You guys tried so hard to get away with that, too. 56 would be some sort of linebacker yes we're really in a lot of linebackers these days I'm gonna go with um give me um what's that mother

Starting point is 01:32:14 Clay Matthews now he's 52 damn it uh give me Brian Bosworth 55 okay give me uh i mean this is kind of cheating but give me sean merriman why is that cheating because we did it yesterday i guess i'm last oh i guess we'll got it guys have a great rest of your week a great weekend we will see you on wednesday

Starting point is 01:32:44 tomorrow tomorrow we love you for our bonus episode tomorrow's thursday tomorrow's thursday we will see uh we're gonna super see you guys we have an awesome interview with an awesome tomorrow you're gonna love it all right bye guys peace calculating route to avoid seeing poverty turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away then take the next exit Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways,

Starting point is 01:33:34 like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention. Donate today at unitedwaygt.org. What does a sunny getaway with Air Canada sound like? Sunny Jamaica moves to its own rhythm. Rio comes alive long after the sun goes down. Philippines slows everything down. And just when you think you've heard it all, there's sunny Lima. However you imagine your sunny escape, Air Canada can take you there.

Starting point is 01:34:05 Book hot fares and vacation packages today. Nice travels.

Will & Rusty's Playdate - credit card roulette took over my life

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