Will & Rusty's Playdate - drinking in 11 countries in one day

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

The gang talks about stinky Ubers, Diet Coke consumption, and going live on Instagram after a wisdom teeth removal. Will and Rusty also recap their drink around the world experience at EPCOT, dive into the origins of the popsicle, and break down a Playmate’s pitch to make your parties 10x better (hint: it involves a really tall guy). Plus, the boys draft sayings that don’t exist, MLB opening day edition, and analyze what specific dreams mean. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/playdate TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER AND TRIPLE DROP USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL.  START YOUR NEW MORNING RITUAL & GET UP TO 43% OFF YOUR @MUDWTR WITH CODE PLAYDATE AT www.mudwtr.com/playdate! #mudwtrpod USE BETMGM BONUS CODE PLAYDATE AND GET YOUR $1500 FIRST BET OFFER TODAY https://promo.nj.betmgm.com/en/promo/geolocator?orh=promo.betmgm.com&wm=7123555 UPGRADE YOUR WARDROBE AND SAVE ON @TRUECLASSIC AT https://www.trueclassic.com/PLAYDATE #trueclassicpod 00:00 Intro 00:17 Reckless Uber Drivers 11:00 Willy’s Live Show 16:16 Rollercoasters 27:20 Getting Kicked in the Nuts 36:51 Roadmap 37:36 Pitch Submissions 54:49 Pitches 58:42 Teach Me Something 01:03:42 This Guy Rocks 01:10:55 Sayings that Don’t Exist: MLB Edition 01:14:22 What your Dreams Mean 01:18:24 Whose Personality are you Stealing? #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining the party landscape. Boom, clap the sound of my heart, the beat goes on and on and on and on and on. I had an Uber driver named Hrant yesterday. Hrant? No, Hrant, I think is how you... That's fun. It's like kids for your hands.

If you think that is fun, you are going to get a kick out of what he did. yeah hrant h-r-a-n-t hrant and he was um you know like the bad guys that like james bond has to get to to like get to like the vault or whatever he's anything james bond just picture it okay or like mission impossible we're doing like a henchman important yeah yeah yeah literally like they like i get in that's rant and he's just like the biggest dude i've ever seen bald head black suit and was like i was like hey thanks for waiting he was just like no problem and then the second i closed the door took off because we're going in um we're in like rush hour traffic yeah and Like, he is utilizing, you know, I was like, if you're a biker, stay in the bike lane.

You can do whatever you want now, because Frantz and I were using the bike lane like it was the 405. It was terrifying. At one point, a cop was going somewhere fast, and Frantz got behind him and, like, used it, which is super illegal. You can't, like, follow an emergency thing. We shaved, like, 30 minutes off our time. Wait, how thin is his car? He was in an S- You could go in the bike lane.

It was fucking bananas. he was in an escalade and there were times where i was like oh because we'd be like going 40 miles an hour and there are parked cars yeah and he i just had to trust that frant was gonna get back in you think like those guys like get off on that yeah okay glad we got to the bottom of that that was pretty cut dry okay close no i don't know i think it's like i think it's like you get a certain they're not getting any more money the longer they're in the car so it's just like i need to make this as quick as possible to get my yeah yeah like it makes sense from like a business perspective but i also feel like at some point it's like all right maybe you're saving a

few bucks i think you just get off on this yeah i had a thought where i was like like i never wear my seat belt in ubers yes because it's like you can't wait i don't know why i said yes because ubers can't in my head i always just kind of without without really thinking about it like ubers can't crash in the same way like ubers can't pull over probably where you see no i trust me when i was i thought about putting it on with her aunt yesterday but it was like if i put it on now that suggests i don't have faith in him because i haven't had it on for the first 20 minutes but like he died because he didn't want to piss off france but it it occurred to me like we could crash i've heard of numerous people i got in a uber crash no that was a friend when i was a

Freshman in college? An Uber crash? Sounds like it was just like a... I called an Uber crash. It comes like tumbling down the street. Like, I was into my apartment. Fuck. The guy's like, I was like, crash for a will?

Yeah, I was like, oh, my remember this is what the hell. I was like, it was so much cheaper. What is that? I thought there's no way it means that. What is this? Who could this be possibly be for? guy's like bleeding out of his forehead uh for real um all right just going like ass over tea kettle down the street like how's it how's it still going it just it gets you to

your destination but it crashes the whole way there the whole way and they yeah it's fine though it's they no when i was a freshman we went to um there was like a you're like i feel like maybe i've told the story but it was like a year ago so i think the statues of limitations expired uh you ever like i don't know i guess you had like bars that like you could just go to underage the whole time you're in college like ours were like i mean you still had to you still had to like present a convincing case they weren't letting yeah i guess i saw many kids get in boston it was like one weekend it would be like this is the bar and then the cops would come and then it would be the next weekend a different bar so we like were the one weekend it was this random ass bar

i forget where it was but i went as a freshman i got way too drunk and then we were yeah it was sick me and my roommates were ubering back and the guy got in a fucking car accident and i got out of the car and like was throwing up on the sidewalk and the cops came and stuff and they got the uber driver i think was worried that like he was gonna get your head yes and so he was gonna get in big trouble because i had like sustained an injury right and so he was shielding me from the cops but i also was scared because i you know like when you're drunk as a minor you think you can like get arrested for i guess you could but like the cops aren't gonna arrest me just for being drunk i thought it was like yeah i thought it was like months in the clink yeah exactly like

if i did something maybe but i thought they could like kick you out of school yeah maybe they can't so i'm scared that the cops are gonna see me this guy's trying to hide me from the cops so we're like working together right so i was like all right you're my bodyguard this random and uh it work the cops didn't see me why wasn't he just like bounce why didn't both of you we were on like the side of the road like there was nowhere to go oh you weren't like in the city uh kind of but it was like the middle it was like a weird part of boston like it would have been weird anyway so we just had to wait for like uber called this like another uber and then i left my phone in it and uh that was a whole other uber called you another uber yeah uber was like oh sorry uber got

crash here's another one he's way better is there a button that's like we crashed you hit the three dots and it's like yeah yeah like request yeah it's like we crash one star i gave him two stars because he shielded me from the cops i um i i don't want i'm not trying to be like insensitive but this was like this went this just went too far sometimes you preface these no this one is like it's not going to offend anyone because everyone i think this has happened to everyone once i understand there are extenuating set the word circumstances where like sometimes just say it stuff is out of your control i got an i got an uber the other day yeah and it was like um you know it was like chevy volts or like like the ones that are like almost

smart car sized yeah whatever brand and i have an uber driver who is in the i'm not joking in the neighborhood of like 700 pounds and has to like put his seat all the way back so it's touching the back seat and like he you can't see the center console like he's like engulfed it it's crazy which like that i have no problem with that but the smell in this car i don't know if it i don't know if it was him or like someone threw up five minutes before i got in there i got in and was like oh it'd be pretty rude to just get out and call a new one but like thought about it and then we started going and uh just hit gridlock traffic oh and i was like so i rolled down the window and i was like i can't do this yeah you just rolled out the window puked a little and then

rolled back up but like i like it was so bad i had my water bottle with me i put my water bottle under my shirt because i was worried about it like contaminating my water it was like it was like truly the worst smell i've ever smelled and i felt bad because i think he like i think if you smell that bad you know you smell that bad and he kept trying to make conversation but it was just like i didn't want to yeah and he kept apologizing for the traffic but it was also like kind of apologizing you could tell like for the smell i'm just from his perspective what do you do as an uber driver if you shit your pants right before your guy gets in like i'm traffic is tough huh it was traffic is the worst thing about this huh it was it smelled like he threw up in the

center console right right before i got it like it was you gotta go window no so i rolled the window down and was trying to like make it look like i was just looking out the window far yeah so like my head was like i'm a grown man like no one's buying like out the and uh i felt awful because it was just like his his life's gotta stink no pun intended but like and then it asked me to rate the uber and i was like well he was a great guy but i don't want anyone else to go through this so i i didn't rate him okay i was like i just i just want to stay out of this yeah but like at some point it's like that you should people shouldn't have to be subjected to that right yeah i mean i think that yeah i think they like do they even like check cars i feel like they

do they do i believe you have to go through one but it's like you start yeah what if he's been doing uber for eight years and he didn't stink eight years he's gonna be good but it's gonna be stinky that's like a thing we say thing lucas used to say well now we say it because he doesn't have a podcast so we can um that's the best thing about having podcasts we can our friends that don't have podcasts we can just take all their jokes and make them ours yeah i'll tell you how much diet coke i drank yesterday you said a liter that's a big how many was it no it was one it was one thing that was the problem i thought i grabbed a normal 16 ounce it was like the step above that but not the one that you get from like dominoes yeah it's a one liter yeah one liter and

like in the same way this isn't a liter i don't know a lot that's 12 ounces yeah i bet keep it how many ounces in a liter how many dot com how many ounces in a liter dot com how many ounces a pound 30 your water bottle is a liter that that hydrogen okay it's like three diet cokes oh that's not as many as i thought i'm sorry i didn't i didn't even i was like ready to be blown away that wasn't even like a me i will say i will say i drank it in the same amount of time that i would drink a normal coke yeah and i came like i'm excited for you to go look at you came i came up with so many new ideas i'm very excited for you to look at the whiteboard oh yeah um What part of the year?

Our green marker ran out, so you can tell which ones are the new ideas because they're in blue. Maybe we should do that on purpose. We should rotate. Anytime you got a new batch, you get a new marker. Yeah. So people know. How was your show last night? Oh, yeah.

I forgot all my lines and Angus hit me. Did you actually forget any lines? No. No, it went great. It was fun. Sorry I couldn't come. I was at the office late. That is okay.

um wait what happened no i just said i'm sorry i couldn't come she got obviously i couldn't i texted him though did you text him yeah he said break a leg as they say and that he loves me i think i didn't say that i said good luck tonight i'm sorry i can't make it break a leg as they say it was good it was packed and uh we we keep like announcing these shows like a day before the ones in la yeah you guys all posted at 4 p.m yeah on your story like that doesn't seem like enough time to so we yeah we're like oh god like we're not gonna sell any ticket every time we're like no one's gonna show up like it'll be bad and then like this was like the most sold la one we've had yet how many people is it it's a small theater so i'm saying like how like how many

people are in this theater yeah it's like i don't know maybe 150 but 150 people in like a small theater yes feels bigger than like a like a 500 person theater that agreed like they're they had people sitting crisscross applesauce on the stage oh that's crazy like it's like uh it's like they're like right in there and i have this one sketch where i have billy up on my shoulders and i'm blindfolded and i have to walk up onto the stage it's like a thin blindfold so i can see through it yeah but i couldn't they put people on the where the stairs are so i had to go and step up like two like a foot and a half and i almost dropped billy but it was fine but anyway it uh what was the crowd like it was great yeah it was it's very it's so intimate that it's like awesome

and like scott came and my buddy diego came so it was we had it was a home game but i was gonna say that scott went with uh lucas right with lucas yeah yeah they they were saying that they our manager came backstage and was like yeah it's actually funny like we were gonna be like why do you guys keep promoting these so late but we think you've inadvertently created this sort of like pop-up effect where people think that's just like how our shows are is like yeah you got to be tapped in tapped in to see when they announce them and that's funny so yeah so it was great uh it was super fun rick mader who you know rick mader that dude he has the built-in producer tag oh you you know rick mader i'm so far out of sight

that noise wow uh he came up to me he was like hey man are you going to the show and i was like oh no i didn't i didn't know about it until i already had plans i'm sorry and he was like oh it's cool um do you know anyone that's going i'm worried i'm not gonna have any buddies there i was like oh yeah like lucas and scott are going it was like like it was the first time i'd ever seen rick not like super confident yeah i was like oh man he is like other people are feeling insecurities we've been seeing that side of him with softball you're not doing too hot oh my god we're on five now ultimate ultimate we won the championship and now we're on five well i mean here's here's the here's what i've heard from inside sources

you just don't have you don't have gavin no but he wasn't on our team all regular season last he played the last like two games he only played the last two or three games is he telling you that no no no he hasn't said one thing lucas told me that gavin was your guys best player now he doesn't know he was he was the best player maybe the last game or two we need joe palm yeah i mean yeah you need yeah joe palm but he played he's played half of them this season and we're still losing yeah oh yeah he was there last week not this week so what's different uh i don't at least we we better opponents i guess yeah it does feel like the teams we're playing are definitely better but i don't know i think everyone's like showing up too drunk like no one yeah it was like

lauren was blacked out on mondays yeah i got tipsy at dinner last night dude every time because they we go to this i feel like you'd be going to dinners a lot you so many dude it's a fucking nightmare like are you spending like your life savings on eating out i haven't told you this no my life has turned into a nightmare i have a minimum minimum one dinner like minimum one dinner is it because your mom there's there my dad was in town my mom lives here now my girlfriend lives here carol my sister lives here like my other sister from new york is visiting and like you got it they all don't realize that like maybe he's gone to dinner already this week yeah and so there was a do you remember that stretch last week where it

was five days in a row it was like i just have a dinner it was like thursday to tuesday i had a dinner every single night in the farthest corners of of like southern california that uh at least you're not paying i guess the problems could be worse but that does kind of sound like it sucks it's it's awful and it's like impossible to eat healthy yeah that you tell them to stop playing basketball um yeah also i will say rick met up with us beforehand and oh lovely so he was fine but what was i um god damn it i hate that we have a fucking basketball hoop attached to our podcast studio yeah it's like well maybe we can instead get a roller coaster on top of our podcast studio maybe like every five minutes uh dude are you are you a roller coaster guy i

love roller coasters i wasn't for a long time same that i got over in thanksgiving yeah you did tell me that i got over when i was like 10 but like yeah it's so i was trying because i was one of those people that was scared of it yeah and trying to convince someone who is still scared that like dude it's awesome yeah it's just an impossible task i don't even it was a miracle that i got over it yeah what's your favorite coaster you know i i've really only gone on them I grew up growing up in Hershey Park. So my favorite is probably the Great Bear. You hang like you're in a thing hanging.

Oh, nice. Your feet are just floating in the air. Yeah. Fahrenheit is a cool one. They got one called Sky Rush that it was innovative when it came out. It only clamps your legs. Your torso is completely undone. That's what fucking Velocicoaster does, and it's terrifying.

I don't like it because then I'd fucking hit my head. Dude, you go upside down. Yeah, it's crazy. And there's nothing over your shoulders. Yeah, I think you do. I think I'm, yes. It was. I think I'm, yes.

The greatest. This one at a. Top thriller dragster. What do you call it? Cedar Point in Toledo. Cedar Point. That thing looks. This is one of the most popular amusement parks.

That thing looks like it. It's so fun. Like a light breeze would knock it over. Dude, they have one. Oh. So sick. Oh, that looks like the Sidewinder. Does it go up and stop and then come back?

No, no, no. You go like that. no that one looks like there's no definitely doesn't go there's no other side to that not that one okay well oh i see i see no no but that's a different part yeah yeah hagrid's does that where you go you shoot through this like fog yeah and then you get up and it looks like the tracks are broken so you're like like first first time even as like a fuck the first time i went on i was like 18 or 19 and i still was like oh my god the track is missing like it just it just broke i love those pictures that's obviously not real obviously for obvious reasons

but then you go up and it stops and it goes back look at the sidewinder google the sidewinder um wait you uh no i i was like not even looking at sidewinder i know what do you mean you were not even looking you're looking directly at the screen wait was that not the one that went up and down oh i might have said it wrong that looks fucking hershey park comment down below your favorite real put hershey park at the end comment down below your favorite chocolate bar her see oh my god dude i have the one that goes up and down i don't know the sidewinder looks like it's fucking mayhem also it's like in the winter i'm pretty sure it goes up and then back down but i can't remember anymore i you know i've been snack maxing lately yes oh my god for the right

perpetually that didn't even that didn't even uh occur to me that was probably a brutal like couple minutes for the jolly rancher remix all right all right all right all right wait did they rename it they named it the jolly rancher remix oh my god really the sidewinder oh god my world's going to shit how much do you think jolly rancher paid for that they it's hershey park it's internal pro yeah i guess like they probably were like sitting down like why this is such a wasted opportunity yeah hershey park is sick i like all sorts of chocolate the Hershey like football team is like like their colors are like chocolate and gold yeah they got the Hershey Bears too yeah I think Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in Hershey dude you know they

also claim what he didn't do it no I was gonna say they also claim that the reason you can't dunk like he used to he was so bad at free throws that he just started jumping from the free throw line and dunking it and then you google it and they're like yeah I mean there's no there's no evidence only like stories and it's like have we ever considered that the reason he has all these crazy like folk like stories about him is just because people were like just making it up yeah it was like the war and they wanted something to believe in yeah i don't know because of the war i don't even know a war like the vietnam bro it was the 90s there was some there was something wilt chamberlain you know wilt chamberlain played in the 90s i'm at the 1900s not the 90s

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i took these puppies for a spin the other day how'd it go it's awesome let's go i love best ad ever just like it's awesome fucking awesome man i if you know anything about me you know i love triples yep this is the funniest thing in the world and i don't mean it i don't mean funny bad i mean funny like you can make any drink now have you tried that oh my god no it's like a cherry coke but it gets you high well i know what i'm doing tonight we used to put these in our cokes in college it was like a different brand so i'm glad that triple finally has them and we would uh we would call it weed coke really nailed that really hit the nail on the head of that one yeah we'd be like we off that weed coke i don't know if i can say that

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yeah wait what should we do for 100 do something crazy all right on episode feeding frenzy we see how much stuff we can eat we just turn into a muck bang channel uh on episode 100 new muck on episode 100 if you comment on it yes also maybe we should figure this out off air but i'm just spitballing right now episode 100 if you comment on the spotify or the youtube we will pick one of each and they they get they get to run the merch gauntlet they get one of everything i'm good with that we should also do something like special for the episode though yeah that's uh yeah i guess i was thinking wait what episode guys we do have fun new merch coming out though so stay tuned what episode is it wait lauren put a picture of the of one of them for 0.2 seconds

so they can't even pause it all right uh what is it 91 episodes uh tavaris wasn't he 91 oh yeah yeah I was gonna look up I was gonna try to figure out when we're gonna hit 100 I know I in four and a half weeks yeah yeah I guess you're right

cause we have this like weird schedule I hope I'm not in Spain during that oh my god 100th episode with no Lauren Google Tavares what if we do Google 100 episode no Lauren can we get like a Google 100 episode no Lauren Google John Tavares number yeah 91 i think that's a good call yeah i don't know how to tub our race lauren a pretty

yeah yeah that might be our first that might be our first one where we've gotten on the first try uh i think i got one oh i got cd lamb the other day i think i got uh lauren typically a safe bet is um vowels in between in between the con it is hockey though i'm gonna give her that i'm gonna give her that you actually get that one of those like she didn't know that let's do their hockey wait i think for 100 episodes we should have 100 guests on and page has been begging me to do this wait that was all right we've already had we already have that i'm joking page hated that yeah um oh she hated that we have that idea no no she just hated how we were like yeah we're just gonna do 100 guys on the podcast am i crazy for thinking it won't be as big of a

lift as we think i think it just more planning we need three we're gonna do i think we just weren't meeting the expectations in terms of coordination we are gonna at some point have 100 guests on one podcast episode we just got a lot going on right the way and we in the funny thing was we talked about it beginning of january and we're like all right march 8th like two months like as if that was like a definite all right 100 on episode 100 we're gonna drink 100 diet cokes oh until our heads hurt and 100 jelly beans i tell you i went to i was at davey wayne's two weekends ago and i went to the bar what um will jack's scared the shit out of me right before we started recording this podcast why no it was like one of our it was an evil evil prank see that

corner with like the wood plank yeah i was just standing there perfectly still in the pitch black and then she turned on the lights and i didn't go like wow i just stayed standing like that and then she turned and like shit her pants and punched me i punched him like four times really so evil like bleed there's a girl it felt like someone hit me with a pillow oh oh it felt like she was it felt like she was giving me a hug come on come on women so soft i love how women punch me um um you ever gotten kicked in your bean bag yeah you throw up no you know when i was a kid i was that field day do you guys have field day yeah man loved in like elementary school and uh this girl i i i actually believe i scored the winning goal as it happened of soccer but then i fell and

as this girl was trying to like kick and out and stop me and she kicked me in the face and i got i think i've mentioned my massive black eye yeah didn't i ever share that picture of me in front of the white house yeah i've always i've never known what that was i never knew what that was from it was a girl kicked me in the head and i took a lot of flack from that you know at school it was like oh you got kicked by a girl and uh that doesn't that doesn't really like mean you're unmanly yeah girl kicks me in the face like a black guy yeah if anything that's i mean granted there's a lot more manly than not getting kicked in the face by a girl true what is this noise it's the candles you lit why do they make that noise they're like crackles that's like a brand

no it's like the when you light the wood wick ones it's like a perk like some people like it i don't like that perk i like it at home don't buy those popping perks yes the thing we do yes i love you guys i love you guys if i was ever like crazy famous okay first of all we are i think i think i would have a i think i would have a hard yeah a hard time not getting on the prescription pills it just it just seems like a thing it seems like a rite of passage dude have you seen what justin bieber has been posting on instagram bieber justin beamster founder of the cheese wait no what is he dude his instrument i feel like these things have looked kind of normal and people like i think he's on meth uh i mean dude i've been

following that brother for a while what do i even look at i mean it's not it's not like worth like going through but like basically it's just him he's just documenting everything and then like posting him like freestyling and it's like him like he's on he's on something for sure i thought he found god i thought he was like religious now he's been religious for like a while he's just a weird guy i really feel like he's just a weird guy i don't think you can't no i'm just kidding I just feel like celebrities who, like, I don't know. I don't know. All jokes aside, I actually think if I got super famous,

you'd have to, you'd have to, I'd hire a guy to, like, keep me away from the pills. That's his only job? Yeah. Like, who's that guy? Stop. No, who's that guy around him? He's like, he just makes sure I don't do pills.

Like, do you have a problem? No? Not yet. But, like, there's a reason they all get into them, right? I mean, they have so much money. yeah i think it's like an access they've got to be awesome every type of person gets addicted to drugs like every income level and fame level gets it but they i would say a higher percentage of like super famous people i think a higher percentage of like super poor people get

addicted to drugs and super famous people okay let me then let me add this if this all goes to shit i also need someone to keep me away from the pills yeah that's what i'm saying yeah they're just harder to get so you end up doing like shittier drugs if you don't have money yeah well that's uh a lot of people like i think like pills specifically it's more rich people you're right because it's like them right yeah exactly well the like big pharma got everyone addicted to like oxycontin yes uh when you it's just an opiate so when you can't get it anymore you have to start doing heroin i've never taken any sort of opiate it's awesome i don't even know what it feels like i guess that's a good thing i guess i've never done it when i'm not like in pain yeah i bet

it's awesome i think that's what they is that what they give you when you get your wisdom teeth out yeah my mom you can get that shit out you can get oxy you can get vikes parking lot vicodin's awesome i remember watching dexter i watched i got my wisdom teeth out and i watched all of dexter couldn't tell you what happened i remember it being awesome though my buddies came up phil and brendan came over to visit me during we had like a school-wide free period called advisory they came over to visit me and they said i didn't notice they're in the room for the first 45 seconds um yeah my mom was like tweaking about it she threw him out oh it's the the that that's like how kids get addicted yeah oh yeah i mean i guess i don't blame her i went live on instagram when i

left my wisdom teeth like when i was still high from like this shit and uh my dad was like all right i'm gonna go to the store and get you like a smoothie or whatever i was like allowed to have yeah i was like all right cool when he comes back i'm live on instagram and he's like whoa hey come on you should not be on there i uh i always got worried that uh because maybe it was the same for you guys like i feel like a lot of times for surgeries like that you go to like a family friend or something i went to a doctor look i feel like when they're like is a doctor i don't know like i or like a lot of like sure i didn't but like sometimes my friends go like my neighbor no no i meant like like when i got my wisdom teeth out it was like a family friend

that did that for a living and then like when kids like blew their acl i feel like when i broke my wrist i went to my yeah or like like uh got like heart surgery from uh like our good friend you don't mean like it's just like you trust those people more but i was thinking like when you come up from uh a surgery and you're like loopy yeah like i'm always worried like what if you said something like whack and now like you're probably happens all the time yeah and they're just like numb to it yeah my dad said the only embarrassing thing i did was i tried to i told one of the nurses to give me a number nine two cheeseburgers what is that from mcdonald's two cheeseburgers mcdonald but that's kind of like not cool like respecting the respecting like the doctor and

then turning to the nurse and being like and no i think that's toots go get me a number nine yeah i think i don't think it's number nine did you get all yours out yeah man i got only two out i still have two in there i'm worried it's gonna happen again wait why would they do two and not because they did well not like not everyone has to get them out even like it's oh i think i think i just did mine like preemptively okay they gave me a scan they're like yeah these i think the top ones are like are pretty bad the bottom ones are like kind of fine i think the top ones are way easier to take out too like it's the recovery is way worse so i was like all right i'll just do the easier one i remember these ones the back the bottom ones were the only ones that i even like

kind of realized were yeah like i think that's so i think i got like kind of a dumbed down version but i might have to go back some day i remember my buddy got them out and uh you know they're like don't use straws yeah you're not supposed to like smoke anything immediately ate a straw anything anything like suction was and so i remember hanging out and uh he ripped his bong through his nose and we were like that's not it's not because it's going through your mouth it's like a suction yeah i don't think that works all right i definitely something i deal with waking up in the mornings i'm a slow starter agreed i've my brain feels like we're talking about this on the episode today about how we

get our best stuff done at night and i think you know you can relate it's like the mornings are tough to break through that fog uh a big development for me has been mud water this stuff is awesome i make myself a little latte here you got that right there that's the milk frother come on use that bad boy put some mud water in there it's got like functional mushrooms very uh very in with this venice la scene you know everyone's talking about it i always thought maybe it was heebie jeebie it is not mud water has been a groundbreaking development for me totally clears the brain fog fog allows me to focus and get my morning started in a way that doesn't give me the jitters of like caffeine and shit guys every single ingredient in mud water is 100 usda

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because life's too short for anything less than clean, delicious energy. As you all know by now, we've teamed up with BetMGM this season. We'll be using BetMGM lines to make all our picks, and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week. If you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE and you will get up to a $1,500 first bet offer on your first wager with BetMGM. Here's how it works. You're going to download the BetMGM app and sign up using bonus code PLAYDATE. Then you're going to deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game.

You will receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets if your bet loses. Just make sure you use bonus code PLAYDATE when you sign up. Don't forget, if you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE and get your $1,500 first bet offer today. Let's get back into the episode. All right, we have a fantastic playdate for you guys today. We're going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches. Then we're going to do everyone's favorite segment, Teach Me Something. Also, we've gotten a lot of comments about people missing the theme songs.

It's very divisive, but I think we've got to bring them back. Someone made a comment, and they were like, I think the people that don't like them are not true playmates, and I stand by that. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Then we're going to do, this guy rocks, this guy rocks, this guy rocks today. Hey, hey. And then Will and I are going to tell you what your dreams mean. Tell you what your dreams mean. And we are going to do Sayings That Don't Exist Baseball Edition. MLB Opening Day Edition. Woo. All right, Lauren.

Hit us with some pitches, brother. all right pitches first pitch is from clay whoa i thought that was your i thought you were making noise that was the fastest you've ever done that whoa damn all right uh pitch number uno is from clay clay says lauren read this immediately and i mean immediately yeah i want to i want to say something i like didn't realize that that was a thing that i was doing until like the fifth time i did it yeah and now and i didn't think it was really something people would notice it's in the comments people people notice it every time you do it intentionally this guy rocks you go lauren pauses immediately and i mean immediately oh i thought you were doing it intentionally i am now

but i wasn't at first and then i saw the comments and i go that's awesome yeah and i go that's awesome you go let's fucking rock or something right yes dude come on wait can you start a popcorn yeah you have to do stand up lauren read this immediately and i mean immediately good morning to lauren and her b words what is the worst part what the fuck i liked this guy until now he rocks not a buzz not a buzz all right i'm not a dog i have i only got cranberries in me want i'm not a birch what's the worst part about going to karaoke oh uh other waiting and other people get to sing too i know i think we made that i think it's not just for me but that is the worst part there are a couple bad things but waiting waiting your turn like people not

really buying into your like will go like the guy before you ruling yeah getting something stuck in your teeth the last two times i've gone where the last two times i've gone with will uh he has burnt the house down right before it's my turn and then everyone's like lost all their steam and then the time in nashville the entire bar saying pink pony club right before i got up and so everyone was like exhausted didn't care it is kind of you gotta like you gotta you gotta it's hard you can't they can't all be hits you know i mean you'll get the crowd and then if you're after that you gotta yeah okay well he says when someone who should probably probably be on american idol sings introducing donkey oaky using like donkey jote is that like a play on donkey i don't know i just

one of my favorite there are a lot of things life is beautiful there are a lot of funny things in life one of the funniest things that will never not be funny to me is how confused lauren gets about things and like that one was warranted but you do it so often that I was like come on man everyone knows what that was and then I realized like I have no idea what that is. No but that's his pitch name I'm sure he'll explain it

that's kind of what I'm trying to get at is like surely it will be explained if we just fight through it alright yeah you're right I got a little caught up on that one too I'll hand up okay using a specialized platform singers will stand

on a pad when they sing and if listeners aren't feeling the vibe or they feel the singer is too good to be there, they have the opportunity to pay like $5 for a chance to throw a ball at a target. If they score the singer, if they score, the singer's dunked into a

pool of water or maybe like a ball pit and the song is over. Probably ball pit. This can also be helpful to stop that one guy who sings Sweet Caroline three times a night. The singer gets 75% of all the money spent on dunking them so that that even if they get dunked they aren't mad because they got that cheddar that's also nobody's

feelings get hurt love the pod but i've been missing the pirate talk lately all right here's a fun pirate uh story or let's let's address the pitch first i think that's actually genuinely you're like all i needed to hear uh thank you i like that a lot it would make karaoke a little more high stakes and it would weed out like not everyone and their mother would sign up right but i think it can't be water no no no it'd be ball pit it has to be like maybe a little bit stinky ball pit so it's like a little bit yeah wait oh my god why isn't it just like a little bit stinky ball pit that's what i was i just said that no i was agreeing with you oh okay i was like if you try to take a little bit stinky ball pit we're gonna have a problem applesauce or no well

lauren's going like lauren's going like deeper into the other end uh sour cream ricotta it can't be it can't be any liquid cheese it's a ball pit i like it it's a dunky oh i forgot about this the last time the last time i went to karaoke we were there like at the end of the night and uh i there wasn't enough time to get my name on so i just lied and i said i was a guy who wasn't there i think i maybe that's how did you know he wasn't there i just waited till like he didn't answer so i did payphone by maroon 5 can't hit the high notes at all it was kind of a nightmare i'm at a yeah uh anyway but at the end of the night the last song on the night it was the funniest thing ever the the song came on that none of us knew the lyrics to it was like really like kind of

an emotional song and it was like the avengers assembled it was like the guy hosting karaoke the bartender this one other random guy and there were all these old guys and they like they're like come on get up like they're like we got everyone everyone's like we don't know any of these guys are and they all sang this like really emotional song what bar was and i guess like and it was just the fun we were all like we were all like rocking back and forth like singing because we could read the lyrics we're like what is going on who are these guys there's like a huge the bar has turned into mayhem because all the bartenders are gone yeah literally i here's my thing with bartenders oh get them sick them this is where this is where it gets good hit them come

mo uh this is this hasn't happened to me there was only one bar where i can think of this if you're a bartender your job is to be making drinks i'm giving you money to make a drink when they act like you're like they're like doing you a favor by doing that that makes me mad like when you order like a complicated drink you mean no no i mean like i'm i'm sitting there waiting for a beer and they just ignore you for yeah forever then they come over and they're like all right what's up where was the bar that you were at fiddler's green see that's that's where i was about to empathize as a guy who bartended at a college bar yeah it's like at some point you got like kids are like i'm sure you were nice but like kids are such fucking assholes at these

college bars sometimes and drunk idiots that yeah it is i i'm not saying it's the right thing to do but i empathize with it's easy to get to a point where you're like fuck these people yeah that's true i guess also given like the context of the school it would be easy to assume kids are like like richer assholes than you would think you know i mean like for like yeah there were a lot of kids there that were like you know super wealthy whatever i mean same as bc agreed like any school but like you can't be like no i'm one of i'm one of you like i'm chill we're on the same we're on the same page here yeah yeah it was yeah some guys wait back to back to dunky oaky i have a i have a pitch i keep thinking donkey jote what was his name what is that

the la mancha the donkey jote what is the guy's name lauren clay clay i have a pitch for you to add on to dunky oaky it is it's like a uh hamster tube that goes around the bar and when you dunk it they have to crawl around like an elaborate thing through the bar and everyone gets to be like on the glass and then they get out on the other end i like that yes yeah wow grape okay are you oh wait i got one last day you fell on mustard mustard mustard no actually what would be the best oh what about that what about that polynesian oh the what's that the it's like the thing of all the little balls that you can pull apart and like smush together mochi no boba no it's not edible why are you guys going to food what how are you how often

you play with your ball-shaped food i every time i get boba do you guys like boba wait what did i just have oh that yeah that thing in japan had bobas in it china you're right uh when will and i were in japan we were waiting in line i love like what it's just funny the way oh yeah dude uh scott people not knowing scott was on a ski trip last weekend with our friends diego and sophia and apparently he texts me sophia just asked me when you get back from europe will and i are waiting in line in in the japan section of epcot and there's a woman coming out who has like a very purple drink and she's like you know our mom's age and i was like hey is that good is that any good like we're trying to figure out what to get she goes i don't know i tried it's

for my daughter it gave him a sip gave me a sip out of her daughter's drink and then we saw them later and she was like oh it's the daughter and the daughter didn't know that like we had had this interaction she was just like what is it was her 21st that she was drinking around the world with her mom kind of fun awesome really cute yeah and then we and our like cycles were synced so we were seeing her at every country that is very bold though to just offer that to a guy who looks like this seriously i wouldn't give it i wouldn't give it myself like not even out of a straw like except from the cup yeah uh and you didn't you backwash a little i knew a girl that uh tried to drink around the world with like her friends and her mom on her 21st birthday and they didn't

she had a valid id but it was vertical and they don't let you unless it's oh that's so tough during my world was do we talk about this already not really it's the greatest time it's a lot of fun but it by the end of it's always like why did i let you get this drunk at disney world like you know what i mean like you're walking out around all these families i was trying to explain it to dylan walker yesterday because he was like what is epcot and i was like dude it is truly it's heaven on earth it's heaven on earth but it's also one of the most bizarre things you can be doing where you're like halfway through you do have a realization of like what are we what are we doing it's about 85 90 families going

on rides and experiencing culture and 10 people getting insanely drunk and that is just it has hysterical like two things to exist so it's just a different sector of disney world like it's a completely it's like a ring around the lake yeah okay it's a ring around a lake and you walk through each country and each country has like a ride a restaurant a bar which i didn't see any ride did you guys do any remember the like frozen one in norway had like a crazy line nor the after nine eight drink nine drinks yeah that was like our 10th i'm sorry i don't remember we skipped i forgot to put norway in the video yeah what happened it the audio was like crazy i had like my finger on it or something no it was just like

was it more fun this time than the first time you guys know you will we will know i yeah it's like you can't capture lightning it was a flash it was a flash in the pan you can't capture lightning in a bottle twice i think i i think that's two different lightning sayings come on uh i want to go to that that there's a music festival called lightning in a bottle i want to go to it do not go sounds extremely dangerous lauren please all right dude what what did i do you can't rip i didn't freaking cheese i didn't fart the barking spiders are back god forbid he cuts the freaking cheese once or twice that smells so bad all right next pitch is from spooky shay shay says hello princess lauren and her little jesters thanks girl i'm a little behind on pod

episode so i'm sorry if someone has already submitted a similar pitch my idea is tall friend tall friend is a service where you can contract out big guys to hang out sold put me down for 20 come on i want an hour with them um so they come to your parties and events etc i'm not really sure why but it's kind of swag to have a really tall friend yeah boring halloween party who is that seven foot banana who just showed up let's take a shot with him yeah nervous at a work event your tall friend takes away all the nervous energy because instead of everyone focusing on your bad social skills that are thinking damn that guy is tall he can also be used he can also be used for everyday things like you can't quite reach up into your closet tall friend is right there to

help he will also answer everyone's questions about his tallness with interesting responses to make you look cooler for knowing him that's a very playdate pitch playdate yeah you hit the nail on the head with that one i what were we using for guys you know when we were at the Remember when we were at the Bacardi party? Yeah. The, we were at the, there I go bragging, and we were at the Bacardi party. Was it like good?

It was fun, but it's like a lot of, like I never got to do proper spring break. Like I never went to one of those. We just went and did like relaxing stuff, surprisingly. It was like another world that I've never seen. We missed Bonnie Blue by like a day, which. She was there? She was at the, she was at Rock Bar the day after

we were there damn thank the lord who is that what she's the girl who is she slept with a thousand guys a thousand guys in one day wait why were you pissed that we didn't see her that would have been like our chance to finally i i willy he's spoken for wait all my chance to finally get with all jokes all jokes aside infidelity aside if you offered me a million dollars i would think about it for about a week and then i think i would say no i don't believe that that's no i would that would be the quickest million dollars dude i literally her existence more power to her her existence for me personally makes me the saddest i've ever been you wouldn't take a million dollars i would maybe take a million i mean that's insane but like a hundred

thousand dollars i don't think i would do it i would definitely do it i don't think you would be i don't think you would be able to to live with yourself well i don't i mean it's like gross but it's not like wait come in come in here can you answer a question for us yeah sure do you know bonnie blue yeah would you sleep with her for a hundred thousand dollars i'd sleep with her for free oh sam would you sleep with bonnie blue for a hundred thousand dollars hundred grand of course i would uh it's a good question she would probably want to film it yeah well you okay that yeah i wouldn't want a sex tape out there but you didn't say that i said that she her being her her she makes me the saddest anyone's ever made me in my life

so i'm saying i sleep with almost anyone for a hundred thousand dollars like yeah pretty much anyone uh i agree if it's off camera same yeah good to see you brother um that was definitely that was definitely not for you sam y'all winter is coming to an end and spring is starting and uh it can be hard to find the right wardrobe as we get into these warmer months something that keeps you looking good feeling good with a tailored fit that's comfortable and you can use it to go to the gym go to work uh and maybe for a date night if i ever get one of those but guess what true classics has the answer true classic shirts are designed to accentuate the important areas like your arms and chest while

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responds with like damn that's crazy or like yeah i feel that you're like whoa really uh so you can just kind of like be down here i like that and it blocks your mouth so it looks like you're responding but you can has a mouth you can you can just keep doing whatever you're doing i would like that i had a uh i was on the airplane yeah on sunday and the gentleman next to me was weird chat he was actually really nice i didn't mind talking to him but it was like i like had my airpods in so i like kept not like when you when i pop it out like this this is like this better be a five second thing and then it's going back it told him i ended up putting him in the case because we but it was a nice conversation that he said he said at some point that he used to represent

chipper jones we're like talking baseball yeah i was like oh wow that's huge and i looked at i looked him up after and he was chipper jones's divorce lawyer i thought he meant like he was his agent yeah yeah yeah we did one deal he lost 500 million dollars was that what was that after de braves or um but it was kind of i thought that was kind of funny but yeah i like your hat what is it chatty kathy chatty chatty kathy i like that um okay what is the worst part about a house with multiple stories oh um gotta climb the stairs regular houses don't have elevators you're let's say you're in your room and you want to go get something out of the fridge it's like you might as well be climbing machu picchu twice this is the four-story fridge

it can be adjusted to fit the stories of your house but it's one fridge that goes up all the floors of your house fucking awesome and it's got like a rotating thing so like if you're on the top floor and you want to get something you can go in you just like go and it goes like and until you get to the thing you want and then you grab it you just like close it yeah you just go yogurt and you get cottage cheese you get eggs you get milk you get eggs for when you need for when you need cottage cheese in bed yeah exactly dude stop you're gonna shit your pants if you keep trying that hard i love that that no that oh yeah wait stitch those together we're me farting i love that uh oh my god jackson girl jackson and uh all right should we do the permitting

division of the building department wendell what's your name what's your name was wendell wendell that's what curry's name is you know what look up steph curry wendell yeah really she's getting wendell no look up steph curry it is a real guy look at his name oh it's wardell fuck i thought it was wendell i knew a guy oh my god my friend i had a friend when i lived in dc that he her like fiance was this guy that worked for a company called like wendell it was like called like jewelry by wendell or something and i think his name was like steve or like something normal but he his like instagram was called like jewel jewelry by wendell or something so we all call them wendell behind his back only we're like oh god is wendell coming they they call

off the engagement i think i can say this should we do everyone's favorite segment teach me something yeah i would like that who wants to learn about how the popsicle was invented oh guilty come on guilty lauren say guilty guilty guilty what is that from family guy no but isn't there also like a video of you doing that when you were little oh yeah my mom used to think it was really funny when i would do that so i'd shake my tuchus and go guilty when i was a kid um all right uh this gentleman named frank accidentally left a cup of powdered soda mixed with water and a stirring stick outside overnight it froze and in the morning he discovered the first originally called the epsicle i don't know why and later changed it to popsicle when he

started selling it more widely especially after his kids uh began calling it pops sickle that makes sense it was like an icicle pops icicle pops icicle yeah isn't that crazy yeah i like that a lot i never thought about that also my question what was he doing outside with soda mix and water yeah he was hammered yeah why was he doing that i don't know i don't know that's a fact i like that a lot uh do you know about giraffe i know a little bit about giraffe do you know how long they sleep no 27 hours no they will sleep like 30 minutes a day they i don't know they they just have developed to not need that much sleep and they sleep in like little a few minutes at a time uh but total like usually we'll get like 30 minutes a night do they

lay down uh a lot of times they do it standing up and they just like dip their head behind their butt uh sometimes they is that true yeah their head goes back i think so can you put giraffe sleeping standing up my thing is like if i lived in the sahara or wherever oh yeah you're kind of right that's crazy and he gets he's still lying down oh yeah maybe if i lived in the sahara and they were like constantly things trying to like maul you i probably wouldn't want to sleep for eight hours yeah apparently lions though i don't have a good date on this i didn't do my lion research but i think the lion sleep like 20 hours a day yeah because it's just like you go how much the lion is gonna fuck with the king of the king of the jungle but have you ever seen a

like a giraffe getting a fight like they can fuck shit yeah yeah lions sleep averaging between 16 and 20 hours a day maybe you're awake for three hours i wish humans were like that i feel like we would be more productive if we just like interim nope no like little bits and pieces of sleep throughout the day like it was like 20 minutes 20 minutes every couple hours yeah i am so productive at night like that is like when i'm the most i've realized just it over the years like that's yeah in high school i remember or even in college i wouldn't be able to write like essays or like my creative juices would only be flowing like late at night we don't want to hear about your juices okay don't be a pervert i don't know i i feel like my mind well you're actually you're

actually right uh the only reason and i'll butcher this a little bit but the general idea was i'm pretty sure the only reason we landed on like that eight hours in one chunk was because of like work schedules now yeah originally it used to be like two separate like four or whatever and they would wake up in the middle like google like did people used to wake up in the middle of the night yeah i swear to god this is like a real thing they would like wake up in the middle of the night like fuck around for a couple hours and then go back to bed dude when i was in when i was in spain like we would get like two or three hours off in the middle of the day we'd go home eat take a nap yes historically many okay i'm sorry well let's see what it says here well that's just way too

long okay yes historically many societies practice what is called by by phasic or segmented sleep where people would wake up in the middle of the night for an hour or so before returning to sleep. This was common pre-industrial. Yeah, so like the Industrial Revolution had to like standardize. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, that's the reason we have like...

I like the idea of this. There's this influencer, this like fitness influencer I follow, Leanna Deeb on Instagram. She is Muslim, I think, and she's practicing Ramadan right now and like her sleep schedule. Is it early for Ramadan?

I'm just going off of like her story. she posted about ramadan the other day and i'm sure she has a better idea of when it is than we do yeah i just thought it was june i don't know but her sleep schedule right now she does i will i will but she does three hours like in the middle she does three hours at night and then like later in the day she does another three hours so she can like eat at night yeah that makes sense um no like just oh we're in it right now yeah that is funny that both of us were like no i don't think we know i don't think she knows what it is when is it is it different every year i don't know um all right i have a this guy rocks that is going to put you guys on your fucking keister

this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey lauren i airdropped it to you when you open it pause it immediately and i mean immediately um quick quick quick quick quick all right so you guys may know who this is this is grant cardone he is the founder of the 10x method a lot of people think he's a scam artist personally i think he's a visionary he's a hero i think he's a hero um you know his house was the like only one on the malibu beach that didn't burn down like hired private fire trucks there you go but wait oh lauren i said pause it immediately and I mean immediately. What did you not understand?

He meant immediately. All right, so this is Grant talking about what would happen if Jesus was alive today. Let's give it a shot, Loren. If Jesus was alive, he would have a fleet of Gulf Streams. He would have satellite distribution. He would definitely be doing a stream today. Well, Dalai Lama, big on Facebook, a huge following. You've got to play the game now, right?

You've got to be able to move to where the power is. Even back 2,000 years ago, you have to leave your home. Jesus left. Everybody's had to leave. Martin Luther King had to leave his home. Every great player on the planet had to leave. Mark Zuckerberg had to leave college to go to Silicon Valley. So what do I want to be remembered for?

I mean, I know I'm going to be remembered for Alpapipa. And I'm going to be remembered for this 10x thing. Okay, pause this for a second. This is known, known scam artist Grant Cardone, who is... There's a couple things to unpack here. Let's start with the fact that Jesus, if he was alive today, in Grant's eyes, would have not one but a fleet of gulf streams yeah with satellite distribution he needs one for each disciple that's true gotta hook your homies up gotta hook the homies up how how insane

do you have to be to think that jesus christ who famously famously said to sell all of your possessions yeah would have a a fleet of g5 g650s i believe i believe the quote was uh it's easier for a rich poor man rich man it is harder for is easier for a rich man to get no i think it was that exactly it was something about like a eye of a needle than a camel to go oh no it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into heaven yeah i mean it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of god isn't that crazy when you think about like that's like in the bible that like mega church pastors are reading well they skip that part

the thing with the thing with uh these new wave christians and i guess old catholicism and different sexes yeah we get to pick and choose yeah well that that is a big part of it that being said what if it was like like in jesus's time camels used to walk through eyes of needles like all the time he's like dude you guys it's gonna be a breeze uh i thought that was so funny though yeah if jesus was alive today he would have a fleet of gulf street he'd probably be doing a stream today yeah i mean he'd probably be on twitch doing like a week off stream till he shoots 18 under like you have to be either that's like rage bait and he like wants people to be upset about that or you have to be like can you google if grant cardone's a scientologist i

think he's like delusional because he's been doing this for too long is grant cardone a scientologist oh i slacked i think i slacked did i say no yeah grant card okay never mind he's a scientologist okay all right there's a lot of factors going on here a lot of play but then he goes then he immediately goes martin luther king had to leave his house we go okay that's true you everyone has to leave their house you have to leave you have to leave the house to get out there mark zuckerberg had to leave college i sent it to you and brian sorry and famously mark zuckerberg and jesus are on the same plane in terms of like good that they've done for the world yeah before wait before you do this i saw the funniest quote of all time someone was doing a an article on mark

zuckerberg yes and they go uh zuckerberg who like famously uh helped like a genocide in like miranmar or something like he they fucked something up by not yeah doing something on facebook and it like kind of aided this genocide said that one of his biggest regrets was um was being on the fencing team instead of the wrestling team that's great all right this is jayden mcmillan jaylen mcmillan he's a wide receiver for the buccaneers saying what he does for fun um this may sound weird but i like to go to the grocery store and you know how they have those off-brand cereals that are like the weird cons like blueberry i'll collect those and i'll try those and then i'll go to the grocery store and get like different potato chip flavors for example

Last week I had avocado vanilla, and it was disgusting. Avocado vanilla potato chip? Avocado vanilla, yeah. Why are they entertaining this? I'll do that. Nah, it was terrible. You do that by yourself? Yeah, I'll do that by myself.

Wait, he paused it? This is his draft interview. They're trying to decide whether to draft this guy. Yeah. I think you've got to take this guy. He's clearly not going to be a problem. or or he's like the biggest issue and he's like he's like what a what a normal guy yeah he's like he's a party maniac and he's trying to blend in or he's just i mean that's that's a thing that

your highest friend does yeah but okay but here's the thing collecting cereal boxes i guess would be kind of cool but only collecting the off-brand ones is the funniest thing i've ever heard yeah that's so i mean you can tell like a hush fell over the room they were like i can honestly We say I've never heard anyone. Okay, that's new. We were looking for maybe like running, training, Fortnite. Catching. So did they draft him?

Yeah. He's a stud. I think he had an awesome rookie year. Or is he a rookie? I don't know. Yeah, actually. He had a great year. I think you're right that like after he left that meeting,

they're probably like, all right, well, he's not going to be a – Yeah, he's not. We don't have to worry about him. Exactly. All right. oh yeah also then they asked you do that by yourself he's like yeah do it by myself who also yeah look at the guy who i thought that too who the fuck making avocado vanilla chips yeah oh introvert activities i've never heard it does seem like a sweet soul why did he keep

talking after the cereal example yeah wait that he dug himself a hole and then he was like um for example i had like we don't need an example all right willie do you want to start with what your dreams mean no let's do uh let's do our other one first baseball yeah so this is a very exciting one baseball this is this episode comes out at 26 right yeah so baseball's opening day is tomorrow if you're listening to this the day it came out we are super excited but my mets your socks uh so we have a fun draft these are sayings that don't exist mlb opening day edition no one's ever started the wave on their first try don't get discouraged if you don't see results right away all good things take time yep love that uh you can't swing unless you know who's pitching

all right you got to know exactly what situation you're dealing with before you make a decision that's going to have you know an impact trying to bunt a home run if you want to see big results you can't take the easy way out uh you got to take or sorry you'll never achieve great things if you're not prepared uh to miss a few times he gets on base this is something you would say to describe like a co-worker who maybe doesn't blow anyone out of the water but he is getting things done you know meeting expectations nothing crazy he gets on base hitting a home run and stopping at first you have the potential to be great but you're limiting yourself because you don't have enough self-confidence that's a good one thank you uh the dugout is below the field

for a reason uh this is to you know sometimes it's not your time to shine and you think you want to do it all and you think you can do it better but you got to know you know wait for your moment do it then and when you're in the dugout stay in the dugout i like you have a you and i both have like very clear we have like three or four like formulas yeah yeah like you one of my favorite of wills is like uh blank blank blank blank is blank for a reason yeah um do we've done like 500 i know uh you put me on the kiss cam with my sister you put me in a lose-lose situation where there's no possibility that i come out looking good yeah i like that uh that's a long out that's uh when you were really close to accomplishing something but didn't you know

come together in the end and you're really disappointed like hey it's a long out you know what happens sometimes watching strikes go by yep someone has a lot of opportunities for success uh but they're too scared to take a chance love it uh that's why they stopped letting pitchers hit all right not everyone's cut out for everything all right know your lane accept your role and just be good at what you're good at swinging before it's left the pitcher's hand uh you got to be patient we're sorry you can't rush things if you want to see success you gotta wait yep love it all right those were our sayings that don't exist mlb opening day edition baseball edition i am so i could not be more excited for baseball i think this is the

year the mets win the world series and if they don't i'm gonna have a freak out i think this the year i watch i haven't consistently watched red sox games since i was a sophomore in high school that's what i'm trying i want to be better it's hard here because the game started like 4 p.m during the week dude when when i was in when i was in school on the east coast yeah they started like i had to like come home from school yep and watch them at like four and now it's like wait what there would be like a 4 p.m oh like on like a wednesday yeah maybe like the day games yeah yeah uh all right these are what your dreams mean oh yes uh wouldn't it be this or never mind never mind this is what your dreams meant i don't know okay

oh if you dream about skeletons but their bones are soft your car has been towed um yeah i had one i wanted to if you dreamed that you summoned a genie but you can't stop wishing for anything but more trail mix it means you're unhappy at your current job oh i've always wondered about that uh if your dream takes place in any sort of tropical setting your house has dangerous levels of carbon monoxide if you find yourself ruling over a kingdom of guys that all look like different versions of willem dafoe it means you're not spending enough time nurturing your relationships that's

good uh this is so funny if you dream about any kind of animal you are the mayor um if you dream that your girl or boyfriend is drowning you in a pool of your own blood that doesn't mean anything you shouldn't look into it okay good uh uh if you read uh if you if you dream about if you dream about one small guy with a big green hat and really long fingernails you have herpes oh um i don't make the rule no if you dream that you're a truck driver coming home to your wife but you get stuck in an infinite roundabout uh that means you should invest in bitcoin that's good do you know that if you dream about birds leaving the nest but they're really sad about it they like don't want to leave the nest but they have to leave the nest

You don't have any legs. If you dream that there is a chest of invaluable jewels, but there's a mountain lion sleeping on top of it, it means that you miss your high school Spanish teacher. If you dream about squirrel, you are done. Done? You're done dreaming. If you dream about a squirrel, you're done.

If you dream that you're doing open-heart surgery on a clone of yourself, it means you drank too much warm milk before bed. That's right. I've heard that. if you dream about any sort of living room furniture uh you are audited by the irs um that one's not like it means it it's just like they will know and then they'll audit you yeah they get notified yeah um if you dream about doing uh open heart surgery on a grape

it means you're getting cold for christmas they did sir lauren i mean it's a little bit derivative but no um if you dream that you're if you dream that you're stranded in a cotton candy lighthouse in the middle of a giant storm it means you're about to see great financial success if you dream about the news you're gay uh lauren do another one i think this is one of my favorite drafts you guys have ever done this was this was the first thing that came to mind after i finished the leader of diet coke He called me and was like, I got it If you dream about cooking spaghetti for dinner

It means they're sending you on a one-way flight To Antarctica tomorrow Who's that? All of them If you dream If you dream Oh, if you dream about skittles It means you're about to taste the rainbow

Yes If you dream about cooking I mean, if you dream about kissing your best friend, it means that you're eating filet mignon for dinner. I like that. All right. Whose personality are we stealing this weekend? Willie and I are going to Vegas after this.

Vegas. Next flight out. I think I did my Vegas one for the episode that comes out. We're all fucking turned around. Well, apparently I'm going back to Vegas alone on a different trip and i'm gonna steal that kid mickey mace's personality yep because i'm gonna win millions of dollars in baccarat i think when this comes out i'll be about to go to charleston maybe did i tell you my plan for um for great success in vegas i am bringing uh i got a new debit card

and i put exactly 100 on it i like it and because you can't use your amex at the atm so i'm bringing just a debit card why would you tell me that sorry you can't okay i'm bringing one debit card that has exactly a hundred dollars on it i'm gonna take that out that's all i'm playing with and then we get free play from bed mgm i'm gonna put it all i'm putting it all on um every underdog in march madness because gavin did that last year and made like thousands of dollars that's awesome i'm gonna um wait do i have to make my oh my god bracket dude yeah you have today's the last day the uh dude the grateful dead is playing tomorrow night at the sphere we can't go i don't think why not or don't we have to be at the book not at night oh yeah i'd love to go do you want to go

i yeah i don't know if i do actually i'm thinking about it hey man this super awesome thing is happening no i know do you want to go exhausted like i don't really know if i want to go to a show tomorrow night kind of and we have an 8 a.m call time the one time so you go to a concert in every city and it's always bands i've never heard of and then now there's one that's like would be an awesome experience and this is the one time you don't want to look so dope yeah i've been in sphere a few times i guess is it scary no it's not scary i you know what you're right that it is a little out of character maybe but like i don't know i don't i've never really been into the grateful dead and like i think i've accepted maybe that i don't know it is funny that you brought it

up this fear i just saw i mean i'm thinking about it i just i i was texting strider about it last night we were saying let's play it by ear but there's also like how much your ticket is 150 bucks oh that's not bad no it's pretty good i mean i could win 50 on baccarat true put it by a ticket um the sphere looks like i would not want to be i would want to be like sober there it doesn't seem like um yeah i don't like the visuals that go up i would be scared no it's well i don't know what i went that one does one where it looks at least in the tiktok i saw it looks like you're in the sky looking down at the city yeah and i think that would freak me the fuck out that's sick i don't know i think yeah maybe i don't know maybe a couple beers i just don't know if i'd want to

be high there yeah i mean we have we have an 8 a.m call time the next day so it's gonna be yeah maybe we just like a wild night anyway we'll see um also the set part of it is the seventh finale comes out at nine on thursday and i really want to watch that it's a good point um all right we love you guys have a great rest of your oh sorry lauren whose personality are you gonna steal oh they hate me carnton carnton um i am house sitting this weekend and i'm gonna be lounging around on the couch mrs doubtfire mrs doubtfire i'd be crazy if this whole time lauren was like a boy i mean i've been saying that yeah not i tried to i tried to peel her face mask off but it was really on there.

All right. I got to go pee. Love you guys. We'll see you for 92. See you for 92. Have a great rest of your Wednesday and a great rest of your week and weekend.

And we will see you guys bright and early on Monday. We love you so much. Lauren, play that theme music player.