Will & Rusty's Playdate - eat THREE lunches a day to lose weight

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

Will and Rusty swap airport stories for old times’ sake, share their adoration for Love on the Spectrum, and invent the Three Lunch Day. The boys also prank Lauren and reminisce about their days mowing lawns. Plus, they draft social experiments and reggae songs that don’t exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-pod RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: SHOP SKIMS MENS AT https://www.skims.com/PLAYDATE AND SKIMS STORES. LAST CALL: THE AFTER-ALCOHOL PRODUCT THAT ACTUALLY WORKS. VISIT https://trylastcall.com/PLAYDATE FOR 25% OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER. 00:00 Intro 03:45 The Biggest Box You’ve Ever Seen 12:15 Willy’s Trip to Charleston 18:53 Chicken Jockey 26:39 what do you want to be when you grow up? 32:39 Barbecue Maxing 42:58 Stagecoach 47:26 Roadmap 52:18 Pitch Submissions 58:51 Pitches 01:10:26 Teach Me Something 01:15:20 This Guy Rocks 01:19:39 Drafts 01:30:42 Rose, Bud, Thorn #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Nice travels. Late eight. Late eight. Episode 96. Right? Is it 96? McKinnon? Nathan McKinnon?

I don't know. Lauren, is Nathan McKinnon number 96? Are we a safari podcast now? Oh, let's go. I guess so. God, we are making some big strides. Wow, close. Who is 90?

Maybe McDavid's 97? Is that what you're thinking of? Maybe. Oh, God, our whole thing's fucked. We got new tech. After our big tech debacle last episode, we had to redo all the tech. I wish you guys could see the studio right now. Since we lost the video.

It was like way more cords. We've revamped everything, apparently in an effort to never let it happen again. That's Paige. That's Paige. she's the goat she's the goat she's sitting here in a chair and it's reminding me of like when you were in high school and like the principal would come in and be like i'm just watching don't do anything the principal coming to be like i'm just here to observe don't do anything differently and i'm like uh well the principal's sitting right behind me obviously

i'm not gonna fucking throw spitballs at mike's computer and you're moron you're not gonna play puts a dragon veil on my ipad lifetime yeah i would do nothing differently if you were at the front of the class don't sit directly behind me if you don't want to see me play clash of clans differently do you have a good dragon veil uh no but when i was in middle school there were we got they like school issued ipads yeah and they were like all like jail or like like super secure so you couldn't like get apps but then like one kid figured out this crazy roundabout way to get dragon veil so everyone did dragon veil but i was such a nervous nelly as they say

that I didn't want to get Dragon Veil because I didn't want to get in trouble so I got it for like a week and then I panicked I still got in trouble because we weren't allowed to have anything in our camera roll that wasn't related to school or God because I went to Catholic school

found like a bunch of crotch shots they found pictures of I was really into it you remember like the honey badger so I had all these pictures of honey badgers honey badgers don't give a fuck Yeah, so they were just pictures of the animal, and I got written up for it. Just the, not even the memes?

Nope, not even the memes, just pictures of the animals, but it wasn't about school or church. And I was like, well, they, I'm praying, what if I was praying for them? Yeah. Sorry, I didn't realize one of God's most impressive creatures. Oh, man. Is this our life now? Yeah, well, now we scream into a void, we'll learn. I can't tell, we're still recording us, right?

yeah oh cool we're just trying to figure out the screen recording okay my friend uh speaking of school issued ipads yeah we had it was supposed to be first name last name at kplzbizschools.org okay yeah and my friend liam made his apple id steve rim jobs okay uh kplzbizschools.org yeah and uh hilarious joke yeah but one of the like major pitfalls is like it's a lot harder to change your apple id on like one of those like secure yeah yeah like at what it's kind of set in stone once you have it you get one shot and he uh went to return his ipad at the end of the year and the tech guy was furious he probably liked it a little learn to figure it out um no but okay it's whatever we look up i can just look up afterwards and i will still be able to show

the playmate okay that's okay it's fine it's a learning time all for learning and number 96 i have no idea dude who wants their airport story oh i got one too who wants it um i guess we'll take it i i am walking into the uh montrose airport which is like the smallest picture the smallest airport in the world wait okay wait wait okay i got it got it yeah it's one of those places where like the same people that like board you like do that are like fly the planes they like like they think this is i know sorry the livy flavor the new livy done it's so good uh i gotta tell her yeah dude you should give her a ring tell her you like her new flame we gotta get her on the pod all right go ahead sorry uh so like the same people that are like checking your bags are like

the gate agents so like when there's a united flight boarding there's no one at the place to check your bags yeah so i walk in there's one guy standing in line for the united thing and he has the biggest box i've ever seen on like one of those dollies it's like no joke probably twice the length of that couch and like jesus similar like width like it is how's it on a dolly like i don't know it was the it was twice the length of this couch maybe one and a half it was just picture a big box semantics picture a giant box uh and he has that and i'm like okay gonna stand behind this guy yeah i have my over ear headphones on he turns around and i go all right we're doing this so i take my headphones off and he was like where are you from

and i go i'm going back to los angeles he goes i'm from los angeles i go very nice he goes where are you my wife's in here but he sees my skis and he was like where are you skiing and i go telluride and he goes i'm from telluride and i go all right this is gonna be all right buckle in this is gonna be like an odd odd conversation and he's i don't want to make assumptions but he's dressed like a guy that like like he was wearing it he was wearing uh like a plaid shirt but like a black tie like it was just yeah yeah it was just like an odd yeah guy whatever and i go uh i go what's in the box and what are you like what's in the box have you seen seven lauren no there's your homework okay

okay sister yes all right so i go what's in the box he goes he goes i'm gonna ride my bike around portugal i go okay this story's back on track this this guy sounds awesome he goes i'm from portugal i go all right and so now it's like i can't believe anything this guy says because he's just like a madman he's from la portugal and telluride yeah and uh and then i go have you tried because there's no one at the desk to check you in but there are those like kiosks where you can type your stuff in it'll print your bag tags and so i was like if you tried one of those he goes no but be my guest and so i go great i go up and i type in my stuff my bag tags print on the other side of the desk like where there would normally be a person so now i have to stand

here because i can't go around the corner yeah to grab them and like i don't want well you wouldn't be able to like put on the belt anyway right my thought was like maybe if i could do it i could just leave them on the thing whatever i didn't fully think through the plan but now i have to stand here and uh 20 minutes go by like no one comes now like more of a line is accumulated he comes up to me and he goes are you good with computers and i was like no not really and he was like i'm trying to make a youtube short and i was like all right like let me maybe i can get give you give you some help and he goes it only has a 15 second or a three minute option and i just want to film a one minute video and i was like yeah just film for a minute and then stop like

stop do the three minute yeah and he he goes great goes back starts filming a selfie youtube short i didn't hear what he was saying and then he comes back taps me on the shoulder and i take my headphones off again i'm like what's up and he goes uh just so you know i know you took cut seas and i was like what and he was like you cut me in line i was like you told me to go in front of you and then my bag tags printed so i can't use goes it's fine i'm just childish but you took cut seas and then he got back and started like playing with his box or whatever and then the pause and then the one of the tsa guys came out who was loading the oversized baggage and goes hey man there's no way that thing's gonna fit through the because you have to like put them through

like a scanner yeah then he was like there is no way that thing is gonna fit through the through the scanner he just goes all right and then doesn't do anything and i was like this guy this guy this guy's like not my problem anymore um i go sorry this story's really long this is the end this is the end of the story i go to uh drop a number two in the bathroom like poop like a big pooping big stinky stinker and a crap yeah turd crud yes um lunch muffin and he i he comes into the stall next to me i recognize his shoes and i was like okay hopefully this isn't him hopefully he doesn't recognize i'm in here he didn't thank god but he gets on the phone and now he's yelling at someone on the phone about how he can't get his known traveler number

on his like his tsa thing on his ticket he goes i remember i remember the days when you just typed in your social security number and everything was there now they want to scan your face and scan your penis and i was like i like i had to i laughed out loud and then he clearly heard like someone was in the stall and hung up and left and then that was the end of our who's in there it sounds like the man it was so what do you do with the box yeah i didn't ask i don't know what do you think was in the box a bike he told me oh he said he was biking around portugal i think it was like he didn't disassemble the bike and just put it in a box yeah so it was like a full it was just like this it was a bike sized box a giant bike well maybe he was maybe he just biked la

my wife's in there my wife's in there she's very hot that is yeah i poked a hole well um yeah that guy sounds like the man it was it was one of those guys who was like i'm shocked you're allowed to be around i'm shocked you're allowed to like travel on your own like he was like yeah this was a this was way too volatile of a guy to be like roughly what was his age uh when i was telling ben and sam this story i said 40 to 60 there's no way to tell okay i can live with that i wish i i wish i took a picture of it but i was like if he catches me taking a picture of it like i i actually thought it would like send him into it he did seem a little bit volatile the uh there was uh did you see the red socks documentary thing that like jaron

duran talked about trying to kill himself it's really honestly crazy apparently he like tried to kill himself in 2022 but the quote that was like circulating from it was like i kept seeing this like graphic and it was like him being like at that point i didn't know if i even wanted to be here and then the reporter was like on the red socks or like in the world and then he just said probably both it's like straight from the i think you should leave sketch i don't want to be around that's awful not trivializing that but i thought that particular excerpt was kind of funny how was charleston uh charleston was good i was well i had one i got my airport i'll back it uh hey one thing about play date if you don't like airplane stories fucking hit the road buckle up uh i was

like on the window seat on the way home there's just one it was a two two person setup so there's just one guy blocking me from like the aisle way and we land and he just starts saying to everyone like oh you can go through you can go through and he lets like the whole like five rows behind us like go through and then finally one lady i think because she saw me being like what it's like no you go no you go and he was like oh thank you so much it was like unbelievable i don't know why like his bag was just right above him he was just like oh once someone gave him the green light he went yeah and then i got to go out too like this lady kind of had my back but i couldn't believe i was like what is going on right now it's like yeah you go through play through play it's like a

that's like a like old youtube prank uh yeah maybe i was getting old youtube pranked it's like Vitaly yeah turns around it's I guess Vitaly I don't know what else to say um Charleston was sick though dude I had a I had a jam-packed weekend of really fun shit so I went I saw John Vincent the third oh yeah how was it he was unbelievable did you wear your read a book shirt my read a book your your red one well I just when I was editing the pod you were like oh I'm totally gonna wear this to the concert your mouth was cash I said I might your body can't cash but it's that the shirt is huge on me i know you got a double i i have been spending a lot of time thinking about that because i have that one in xl and i also have the white one in xl and xl now so now

i'm i'm curious if the nice thing to do would be to take the double xl off your hands and give you the regular one that would be nice oh is the red a double xl yeah why do you order a double xl i didn't order it he brought it what are you talking about you were here he brought it to the pot oh my gosh i feel like i feel like of all things like we we like kind of throw you through the ringer for like and you kind of you take it on the chin for that one to be like the one that takes you back is pretty crazy well okay the confusion is because you i guess you said you ordered it i ordered the red one before i ordered one so we thought you were gonna be like massive yeah i guess he thought i was gonna be like a huge chunk yeah what's better what's better him

bringing you a double xl or a like a medium or an xl or an x no well the double xl because i'm saying the implication like that you are a medium or that you are a double xl i'd rather or small or double xl double xl a small would be crazy i thought you were gonna be tiny i did i think there's so many lots of live shows like i thought you're gonna be way shorter we look tiny in that picture against it yeah nobody believes whenever you guys like say you're no one ever believes it Well, anyway, I did not wear that shirt, but I wore a different shirt. That's a cool shirt. Nice.

And went to the show. And then there was a tennis tournament going on in Charleston. Okay. My buddy's sister was in. She's like the top-ranked American tennis player right now. What's her name? I'm crazy. Emma Navarro.

Nice. Pull her up, Lauren. Lauren, Google Emma Navarro. Google Emma Navarro. Pull up screen. So we went. Whoa. She looks like a hand.

That is not how you spell Navarro. and they yeah oh oh sick yeah and uh she lost to anisa no she was born right she was born in the same week as me she's doing way cooler stuff wait that's so cool yeah we grew up played at the same facility actually uh no joke her training took a little more yeah she i i quit tennis in eighth grade and she i guess stuck with it it appears but she um did you win no it was kind of awkward we went to the quarterfinals and like my buddy earl at least she made it she she didn't lose quarterfinals yeah yeah but like i think you know she's at the caliber now where i think she's wants to win this tournament she has won some tournaments but my buddy showed up like halfway

through it too like flew in for it and then we were sitting there like oh fuck but it was cool and then we went we still went to the final on sunday which is really cool so jess pagula win heir to the buffalo bills she's a tennis player too yeah like her dad owns the bills some people have it all i know yeah uh i want to address the elephant in the room just before we move on i got i got a little carried away trying to get a goggle tan and now my gt now my face is falling off so well i will say compared to yesterday well you didn't see him yesterday he was every day it's gotten 10 times better you look a lot better than your first the first day in the airport people were like i was passing people and it was like oh i look like a leper

just from like the sun from the sun and like wind wind burn like i was just i did not ever have that other people put sunscreen on luke put sunscreen on harper is a little red but like yeah i think i'm just more fair skin than them yeah i have very sensitive skin hey lauren don't make that face again when i'm talking about my skin peeling i looked over and you were like dude i was scrunching my nose i had a scrunch itch your scrunch itch i had an itch it looks it does actually now it already has kind of gone away but when i first walked in i was like holy fuck i um my eyes have grown i had to like warn your eyes have grown yeah come back how much how was charleston my eyes were just huge i don't know man i think there was something in the water my

eyes are huge charleston was so beautiful man it was like the perfect time of year it was getting a little hot sometimes but it was do you see anyone from southern charm i did not have you guys been watching love on the spectrum no oh my god this oh didn't you get it spoiled for you yeah i got it spoiled for me yes but like it was a good spoiler that you found out one of them was on the spectrum spoiler alert no you see what you see when having like a normal interaction i thought just wanting love uh no it was it was a good spoiler because there's one guy who just has like the sweetest parents and they are they were very in the episode i was watching last night they were very sad that like again he didn't get a match at like a speed dating thing and his mom

was like crying and then i opened instagram and uh it was him he has like a huge like busty girlfriend now what's his name which guy is this james james jones yes has a busty girlfriend with the blonde hair oh yeah oh put a picture of it good for him he's awesome that's great that makes me happy to hear yeah it did it made me i it's a it's it is a show not for the faint of heart like if you are if you're like easily if you're an emotional person yeah it's very hard watching him because he just goes to these things and he's such a nice guy and they also don't set him up for success like you got to send him to places where there are other autistic people yeah he's just like a really autistic guy and then they'll be like here's someone who doesn't have autism like

do you guys want to date and the girl's like no yeah wait i've always thought it was two autistic people saying usually it is but then that he goes to speed dating events where there are people that don't have autism oh that's they also sometimes like i in previous seasons they've just given people who have like mild autism someone with down syndrome as their date and it's like yeah all right man like there's there's levels yeah yeah the video of tanner meeting jack black oh my god actually oh my god i want to go i think scott and i are gonna go tomorrow to see minecraft to see minecraft minecraft the movie what did that have to do with chicken jockey jack block jack jack block that's his minecraft name oh i see have you seen you haven't seen like the

chicken jockey stuff where's that you haven't seen these videos look up google chicken jockey this is the fun i want to go apparently it's like one of the best live theater experiences in like forever look at like videos uh this maybe why is there a seven hour chicken jockey oh oh god this sucks okay but yeah you kind of get the idea wait i don't know i don't i don't get the idea look up look up chicken yeah look i go to youtube go to far from get the idea wait just click on the one that says lauren just click on the one that says chicken jockey this no that's the one this one's seven hours you don't have to watch the whole thing i don't think this is it i'm gonna be here all night titled chicken jockey well no but that's just like a

thing in minecraft see see oh see look at go to go just go to youtube.com oh man now look up chicken jockey every day what the hell is going on theater reaction dude that's what we were just watching though i don't get it i don't okay the other ones kids are like getting on the go to the next one maybe why is this mom why is this so crazy riding their moms around the okay in other words kids are like throwing drinks and popcorn like that was the first video and you were like that's not it where the first video we watched was the perfect example erupted into chaos like popcorn flying i said oh and then i said okay i think you get the idea and

you said no we don't so i tried to put another one i literally said because it had voiceover that's literally what happened you said no we don't at all lauren that was lauren's quote that is what you said no now now it all makes sense but i didn't know what i i didn't know what it i don't know any i know i don't know what it is either i don't know shit about minecraft i just thought they'd say i guess in the movie he says chicken jockey and that everyone throws it's gonna be the new like skibby toilet it already is you guys are behind i can't believe you didn't know about this i don't want i needed like a breather from but me like big time me no scott and i are going tomorrow and we're throwing where i i think it would be funny like one of these

and it's like chicken jockey and this guy just stands up and starts pissing. Throw up in your hands. Yeah, the police got called to this like one of them. There's one that I kept seeing where like guys were on each other's

shoulders and shit. Well, I feel like he's going to come into work on Friday and be so bummed if something insane doesn't happen. I come in on Friday just like completely like wide-eyed. Like, how's the mic?

I'm like, fine. It's okay. Where have you been? I saw stuff. I rode Scott. um yeah so that's the minecraft well you missed um softball on monday oh yeah we lost we lost again we're i don't understand we haven't won since last season's championship what happened i don't know everyone's hitting just way better this dude no the other teams it's like there's

nothing you can do about it yeah i refuse to believe that no trust me you guys are like normal like athletes thank you uh yeah i don't know our team is literally dog water we're no i mean i haven't won a single game yeah but we're that's like we're not that's like the definition of dog water i heard the i i still stand by the theory that maybe you just need someone needs to just pay for gavin to play that's not but you don't understand we like he only joined for like a few games at the end of the year that's not what he's been playing every game no not every game but he's played at least half of them like that's not hasn't been in a while yeah but that's not it's even when he was there like it wasn't we still got our cheeks

clapped yeah also i don't want gavin on the team because you don't pay you don't play yeah i agree it's a i didn't i had another good hit did you another line we're not a two-hit game a couple weeks ago yeah she's her do you have a lot usually it's a bad wait what what'd you say it's completely random how many hot bats you get hey guys we are super stoked to be working with last call these things are game changer it's an after alcohol product that actually works and it's all inspired by uh what they do in korea i guess these are hugely popular in korea people take them after going out uh you can take it before during or after and it'll make you feel better the next day and it's not like just like

electrolytes like you might be used to because these things have dhm in them which is the go-to i guess for millions of koreans and is now going to be the go-to for millions of playmates uh this stuff is legit uh i swear by it and i know that rusty does as well i told you guys last ad read but i have been doing a little bit of experimentation to try and figure out the best time to take it i've done it before i've done it in the middle and i've done it after and i think i've landed on after okay so here's my here's my thought right before i'm about to go to bed i take one have a big glass of water go to bed when i wake up i feel so much better than i normally do it is it's like truly a game changer guys you're already spending a ton on drinks so

why not just spend a couple more bucks to feel so much better the next day go order some today at trylastcall.com slash playdate for 25 off your first order the code automatically applies using the link uh try it this weekend take it out with you pop it before during or after and uh get ready to feel better what else is going on oh i did my i did my big race i didn't do the time i wanted but i still did good sweet what was it a 5k the 10k 10k yeah six miles two miles 6.2 miles i did 49 minutes i wanted to go what pace is that 45 like 750 that's pretty that's really good yeah it was it was good but i wanted to do a sub 45 which would be like 715 so i wasn't really close to that are you running a marathon this year do it a half and then we'll see do a half in may

did i tell you my sister is running the new york marathon oh wow that's sick and my mom was like oh yeah i think he said that my mom was like i was at the half marathon and she had like an absolute meltdown on the last three miles like i have no idea how she's gonna do this i mean good for her yeah she's like we i asked her i was like are you training she's like no it's in november i was like i feel like you should sounds like you should get on that he's got yeah she could get away with it for a few maybe a month or two but then she's gotta lock in i guess just why put it off you would want to be in yeah yeah it kind of be so scary getting into that with no i've looked at the route it does not look enjoyable at all it's like the whole city yeah

i mean it's a pretty uniform amount of miles no i mean like but like that that's just like a fake number in my head when you're looking at it condensed like when you watch like the thing go through the like someone did an animation of it going around new york city was like oh my yeah yeah insane yeah like that's that crosses like state lines no it's actually all in the city really it's isn't that jersey i think it ends no it ends in jersey staten island no oh yeah staten island what do i but you're on three different islands that's fucking crazy that is insane yeah i uh would you want to be when you grew up when you're a kid uh that's a good question like an athlete i think okay what about like once you realized like that wasn't gonna

happen uh a politician a congressman lauren uh when i was really little i think like a veterinarian and then probably a singer have you seen those middle school it was like elementary school graduations where they're like elijah elijah wants to be like blah blah when he grows up i did to pakistan no the american ones there was there i saw one the other day and it was a kid and it was like uh elijah wants to work at mcdonald's when he grows up and his parents are like god damn it what do you want or what did you want to do i wanted to be a sports center anchor for a while that was my answer when adults would ask me until i was like 10 and then i was just like fuck and then you flipped to fox i wanted to be the next tucker carlson or i just meant like you

wanted like this shant like the sports media but just on a different network you traded yourself uh wait what was i gonna say uh i don't know uh why are you guys getting like nervous no i was imitating him he looks okay i have a podcast i get nervous oh my friend morgan made me another sweatshirt morgan sweatshirt so sick morgan sweatshirt wait so can you explain the backstory of that you told her that is that like a sasquatch no this is a guy i actually don't even know if i was like allowed to have her make this this was a there's a restaurant in carabasset valley what's that where's that it's where sugar loaf is like the ski mountain called the bag and they have the best burger you want a bag the best burger in town you know when people are like you gotta come to my

hometown like like you're gonna love the bag burger with like bag sauce it's just like a normal bit burger i had one of those the other day yeah so that's like that that is what the bag burger is but it is very good uh it comes out raw every once in a while which is a very fun thing it's Like a golden ticket type sitch? Yeah, I just don't think they know how to... I don't think they've totally cracked the grill yet. But there's a picture of this guy. I think it's the guy that started the restaurant.

It's him like... Look up like the bag drunk guy. And wait, where is this? Sugar loaf bag drunk guy. And it's just him like in his cabin with like a bottle of... Okay, so that's not what I asked you. Dude, okay. Yeah, it's that.

Is there a thing? Click on that. No, no, go up. Yeah. so it's like him oh cool and i just said i like this picture and then she put it on a shirt that's sick so you sent her the photo wait so yeah i love that when i speaking of not being able to cook burgers my first job was burger my first job was uh at kettle cove creamery yeah and uh they i think they just assumed that we knew we all knew how to like grill and like none of us really did

it was like all our friend's dad took it over and just like flooded it with high school kids to work there and like it was kind of like lord of the flies like the like your your boss was like 17 yeah and uh my grandma texted me after opening day and was like how did you know i like my burger rare that's thank you so much for doing that and i was like they are all supposed to come out well done dude i went to this place and this is a new place in charles called joyland and it's me it's started by this guy sean brock who's like a he's like a famous chef so it's supposed to be like but it is his ode to american fast food so it was like he'd done all these fancy restaurants that were like back to his i'm gonna get back to my roots and then he's just trying like the you

know so it's very simple like classic like burger yeah and i went and i got it but at when i go into it was it was good it was good it wasn't like unfreaking believable but it was good but the places next door to this nightclub i've never seen this in my life so i go in to order a burger and every time like the bass of the song plays in the nightclub the whole burger place goes like and i see the guy behind the counter every time a switch flips in his head he's like i want to kill myself it's like every we'd be like uh hi could i do the maybe like you kind of you kind have to like wait it out yeah and be like oh yeah like an earthquake it was unbelievable i don't know how they it was like like torture like because it was irregular because you can't hear

the song you just feel the vibrations what a poor poor guy yeah and that's like in uh in boston when you there's like that club under uh what's the cannoli place that we like i like mike's what's the other one modern my like there's like a club under one of them yeah i think i'm modern our friend redmond and i were trying to track down a late night cannoli last year and uh there's like a huge line at like midnight which isn't like uncommon like it is like a famous place yeah but we like got in line and uh everyone else was just disappearing like into some like back part and the guy told we were like where's everyone going he was like there's a club downstairs why is there a club in the cannoli place speak easy what what what what wait okay really quick best burger well

i know and it made me think of this comment someone someone left a comment and they were like write that down sorry no you're good this is not that important i just thought it was funny someone left a comment they were like i love how every time the boys talk about food lauren has to look up a picture of it yeah you did it again visual learner and i get really hungry hungry like holy shit this looks the pretzel bun ew nothing i barbecue max this weekend i really i had a triple crown on saturday what's up oh i'm about to tell you i finished the race and they have like all these tents and stuff for stuff and one of them was pulled pork sandwiches from this place rodney scott's it's like the best is it free you'll ever get free yeah so i grabbed

pulled pork sandwich after the race eat that then we go out to some bars and stuff drink some libations and whatnot and uh then we decide to go get dinner so we go to home team barbecue get some wings and some pulled pork there as well eat that go back to jack nisi's house chill a little bit take a nap wake up from our nap everyone's like want to go to lewis barbecue i'm like down so And then we go to Lewis barbecue and I get the brisket nachos. You had a three lunch day? Three meals in, well, I guess, I don't know why they'd all be lunch. It's sort of breakfast, lunch, and dinner,

but they were all three different of the like three best barbecues. Oh, you had a three lunch day? That could be a guy who had the regular amount of meals. You had three lunches. What? Will, that sounds so good. You just get free meals because you run a marathon every day. You run a 10K every day.

Yeah, yeah. i mean there was a lot of they were doing then harris teeter was out there doing steak shots uh they were like little like the grocery that's a grocery store harris teeter and they would they were they were putting steak in little cups and they were like who wants a steak shot at the finish line everyone's like they're doing body shots of each other it was like insane dude it was like fucking insane my it was unreal the uh the barbecue the i had so much barbecue why are you looking at me like that i was just trying to weather the storm while we'll get through that well that actually sounded kind of cool yes if you guys ever had uh you guys ever had

mcdonald's in another country no so much better it is fucking crazy i was talking to not smushed oblivion yeah i was talking to uh my friend jared dunning we went to amsterdam together and they were all it was like a group chat of kids that were in amsterdam someone like texted and uh everyone was like oh remember like all this like cool stuff like they would be like that restaurant was so good or whatever and jared and i were just like the mcdonald's they had like You know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese in France? Big Tasty? Mac Royale with cheese.

I think that's from Pulp Fiction. I'm a little bit of a cinephile. Guilty. You're not. Carry on. You've seen five movies. One of them is Pulp Fiction. Name five movies you've seen.

Pulp Fiction. Inglourious Bastards. Rango. Gone Girl. Superman? No. Nemo. Finding Nemo. Finding Nemo. Let's go.

What an odd, odd lineup. Most of them were Quentin Tarantino movies. Have you seen Django Unchained? Yeah, we're guys. Will, you should really read the fanfic Rango Unchained. You get to see

Jamie Foxx's huge dong in it. Oh, okay. They hang him by his feet. I don't know if it's his real penis, but his balls and his wiener and gonads are like fucking you know you ever see nights i've seen that one too you know when you buy a wiffle ball bat and like the there's like the ball is like taped on top it looks like that wow yeah and the guy threatens to cut his cut his uh cojones off

with a hot knife oh i guess i don't really care what temperature the knife is at the point you're cutting my balls off yeah i guess he maybe hot that has to be way worse that has to be way worse well no but i think the point is it like oh it like cauterizes it yeah as you're doing it so it would like heal the wound uh are you texting jack dm'd me and my brother yesterday it was like he was like i don't know i don't know anything about running but thought you guys might like this and it was like it was like it was like a starter pack for pulling up to like the local 5k sponsored by a bakery and it was like it's all like really intense running gear and it was actually funny that you said that because that was literally my brother at the kenny bunk main

turkey trot last year he showed up he's like i'm gonna win and we were all like okay you win you got 12 because but he had got me like kids oh because they were like local this whole like track he had gotten like third the year before and gotten his time faster so yeah i'm gonna win and then this whole track team from like a high school pulled up and they all smoked him i almost killed the entire ucla triathlon team on my way here oh you should have dude i know they have a big big tilt to get bc this year dude we also was like i it was i believed that they were the triathlon team one because it said it on their shirts but like they could have just owned those shirts they were they were fucking 10 miles from the ucla campus wait what i don't they were bikers

again no they were on foot but uh they were trying to fucking cross on like a bat they were i was coming around this turn in brentwood fast and uh they weren't using the crosswalk and one guy tried to run across and i missed him by a little bit oh and then on my way walking here more carefully a prius almost backed into me oh well when i was on foot well i almost got hit by a priest in the softball parking lot the other night wait why i was crossing to my car and they just weren't stopping like going really fast i think it was owners prius owners uh don't fucking don't come at it i drove prius for a long time prius owners prius owners uh i believe there are some nice ones out there in my experience uh been nothing but a nuisance on the road well they drive it

like it's a fucking like like it's the black rocket from mario kart you're fucking either of my little prius v in high school and uh there was like an office episode where like andy's like the prius is silent under two miles an hour and he uses that for like hit dwight yeah and uh i thought that was really funny i was like and it is true pretty much so i did that to my buddy daniel at work one time you hit him with your car yeah we worked together we were bus boys at this barbecue place and he was like taking the trash out

and I was like I'm gonna go grab something and I went and got in my car and moved it really slowly while he was like unlocking the the dumpster I just like

slowly rolled up on him oh that's funny dude it was so funny I hit my friend Daniel with my car we had fun we had lots of fun I saw my friend Thomas

this weekend for the first time in five years aww it was so nice wait that's awesome it was really cool he was like my best friend

in high school and it's just did you guys hug when you saw each other first yeah I finished. Ugh. Wow.

Sometimes when you haven't seen a guy for a while, though. Can't help yourself. You try and be, like, too cool for school. Yeah. Dab him up. I didn't even look at him the whole weekend. Hey. What is he doing these days?

He's working for a chemical company in Charlotte, North Carolina. He'd been living in Johnson City, Tennessee, for a really long time. So it was, like, kind of a really hard place to ever, like, hey, I'm in Johnson City. Isn't that where, like, it's in, like, a Darius Rucker song? Yeah. from west the cumberland gap to johnson city isn't it like if you like map out the way he sings it it's like you would not you wouldn't be able to hit those places correct yeah it's a it's like geographically inaccurate but that is okay how did he go from hootie in the blowfish to

darius rucker well his name's always been darius rucker i think he just left hootie i saw him at mose one time he's like welcome to southwestern grill yeah that place is fire they were doing a bogo the other day really not here but yeah they don't have they don't have most gone while i was there i guess that information didn't do anything for anyone my friend luke uh was kind of either he got bogo and then he was like should i save one and bring it on the plane yeah i don't think you should probably not that i like i used to get their um it doesn't look very good in the photos so good dude i would get that one i forget what i don't even remember you know they they have to say welcome to mose when you walk in so we used to walk in and walk out and make them say it over

horrible people we should start doing that a thing like when anyone walks in during our recording should we say welcome to playdate because that happens all the time dan powers does it like once a month all right guys this episode is brought to you by skims you've heard me say before i love skims i'm wearing them right now actually let's see those fuck come on come on beautiful colorful color yeah that green is perfect here's where skims is different my least favorite part about traditional underwear they ride up all day you guys have seen me before when was the last time you saw a rusty shuffle that's true it's been a long time i've not done the rusty rearrange i was freaking constantly pulling those things down i want them down i want them down and they

would ride all the way up the skims ones i slap them on and they stay there the whole day i don't know what these are the five or the seven inch regardless they are fantastic i alternate so i have the briefs and then i have the boxer ones the looser ones i also wear the pajama shorts i wear the sweatpants i wear the crew neck i've gotten a couple of my buddies under skims and i know what you're thinking a lot of people thought they only made women's underwear nope they make men's now uh and they are fantastic get yourself some get your boyfriend some get your get your mom some A boyfriend? You get a boyfriend.

Okay. Get your dad some. Get anyone who does not like having their underwear hike up their little bum some Skims. Shop Skims men's at Skims.com and Skims stores. Let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop-down menu that follows.

Skims is the official underwear partner of the NBA, WNBA, and USA Basketball. So if that tickles your fancy, go order some. Consider my fancy tickled. Um, consider my underwear sitting in place all day. Let's get back into the episode. Calculating route to avoid seeing poverty. Turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street.

Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away. Then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. your donations help the united way fight poverty in thousands of ways like providing food shelter and crisis prevention donate today at unitedwaygt.org oh i'm going to stagecoach right did i tell you this scott was talking about it the other night oh yeah with ty yeah he's going we got two week books so fun because we got free tickets so i booked we were like let's get like a

sick airbnb so we gotta right yeah and be with like a pool and like a bar stop it's like 10 minutes from the polo grounds or whatever what do you eat i i ordered i tried the fuck is it i tried i thought it was gonna be a soft it's like a caramel apple why are there 150 of those from the from the shoot yesterday they was the shoot um i don't know some they needed these no they they ordered ike's sandwich sandwiches and they just had it in the bag for some reason but yeah maybe don't move the mic or something you're gonna have to spit that out before i really thought it was gonna be soft but i was gonna be able to squeeze it in quickly and it just those are so good though that's like my favorite one of my favorite candies

dude there's a trash just walk over here i don't it can't be next to me this time i'm sorry um anyway i'm going to stagecoach i'm gonna see jelly roll jelly roll double shot of whiskey Scott and I are we're actually I'm pretty excited I was anti those things but I feel like we're doing this

in a way that's going to be really fun we can't talk if you're over there anti like Coachella or stagecoach what weekend is it? it's April 26th oh I leave that day that's the same weekend I leave

oh you leave for Spain how are you still eating you just went over there why didn't you spit it out i forgot you forgot to spit it out what were you doing over there he's causing a big scene anyway like he does chester's coming fun me and scott tyler who else stimmel ty's got some people nice i booked the airbnb without having it full which is a little scary because it was like what two grand oh for the i mean for everyone for two nights so it's gonna end up in like 250 bucks yeah i was bringing a guy that i have beef with oh no you know how is there still shit in your mouth it's stuck to my teeth all right we'll just

drink some water and and yeah why do you have beef with him i'll tell you i'll tell you one second this is podcast meltdown ew jack oh please don't do that it's disgusting no i'm i have to cut that he was just swishing around his water and um when i first moved out here this guy wait one second i'm gonna eat in nature valley the guy i believe he's coming with you was like he's got this hook up at this club whatever and he was like yo uh got a table for you guys don't worry about it like come through bring whoever you want got a table hooked up for you it's gonna be sick we're like great we'll meet you there in like an hour he's like awesome i'll come out and grab you and uh i think he was i think he's like a promoter

so he like he charged you for the table dude we got there and he uh he was like dude great to see all you guys let all the girls we brought in and then try to charge us we were just like no that's oh we didn't want like we didn't ask for a table you were like we're gonna i got a table no that's so weird hook it up yeah uh and so we just went to a different we went to a normal bar like i would never go to a club the only reason i was going to that club was because he was like we had we hooked it up for you like it's gonna be sick yeah uh yeah and like it's more it's mostly a joke that i beef with this guy but ty thinks it's very very funny that i well i will kick his ass is that one of his like co-worker friends or uh no i think they grew up in jersey together joey i called

joeyzy joeyzy but that's just i guess a little willie d flair i put on some stuff i think if you're from new jersey and you're not one of my friends ava's from joeyzy so you okay don't like my dad don't like my grandfather you don't think your dad and i are boys you i i low-key dm your dad more than you because he responds to my dms i hit him with a fucking zinger the other day and He just went, liked it, liked it. All right, should we roadmap it up? Yeah. God, I really wish I could have squeezed in that caramel apple.

All right, we have a beautiful episode for you guys today. We're going to hear your pitches followed by our pitches. Then we're going to do everyone's favorite segment, Teach Me Something, followed by This Guy Rocks, This Guy Rocks, This Guy Rocks Today. Hey, hey, I said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard. he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard there's rocks in my yard rocks in in my guy who just broke his lawnmower there's rocks in my yard there's rocks i remember when i was a kid

my dad would be mowing the lawn and it would shoot i don't know if like old lawnmowers just didn't have like safety guards but like i feel like it doesn't happen anymore it would shoot rocks at me with like fucking laser accuracy yeah like wherever i was standing watching him do it one would come flying in my shins at a mock three when i used to you know i briefly was a lawnmower same uh around bc's campus and they and a weed whacker the weed whacking is where you would really that's where that's where you're that's like if you don't wear goggles dude there's i remember one time i forgot to put my goggles on i got like nailed in the cheek by a rock i was like oh my god i could have fucking been blind i was so bad at lawn mowing or like how whacking like i

could never get like the angles pretty oh you just like scalped it yeah and like the bc campus is like gorgeous so it was like oh there was one time i left a three foot by three foot just cube unmowed in the middle of our like most prominent lawn came in i got reamed out yeah i was never i remember i was trimming this this woman's hedges and uh i just forgot like a whole section of like it surrounded their whole property and i just forgot like 40 yards of it yeah it'll happen she texted me and was like what you have to you have to come back and do this um and then we are gonna do social experiments that don't exist very excited for that one uh followed by reggae songs that don't exist and then we're gonna wrap it up i got a new

rusty song of the day nice you guys haven't been following along uh i think this will be the third song on the playlist what fourth i was actually just looking at the playlist what's on it so fourth do you want me to read them well there's four on there she's electric oasis and going home by bob andy that's three songs huh no i know you just said this will be the third oh well yeah i added this you just spoiled it so bleep what bleep well you said that you would add them to the playlist when it comes out this isn't coming out for a week so you just spoiled it hold them back that's true lazy lazy bodyguard all right all right settle down chill out settle down uh all right lauren let's hear some pitches also i want to apologize in advance for one of

my social experiments i meant to change it and never got around to it so lauren said that i shouldn't say it but i think it's funny i like i like how you as if as if you didn't ask four people yesterday if you should do it or not like you've i think it's funny no it's fine if it's yeah i'll be the judge of that you will think it's funny all right is it the team one uh it's the it's the just let's just do it yeah we'll get there uh also do you guys not like to do permitting anymore is that just a once in a blue moon i forgot about that to be honest i hate doing it i like when the clips do well i like the clips yeah but i it makes my bugs crawl under my skin well also calling them and them not picking up is like you get so like excited yeah i actually had

a kind young woman after the the race on saturday come up fully dressed like a disco ball like full like helmet and it was kind of a goaded outfit and she said hi are you michael i was like what She's like, from the permitting division of the building department? Stop. I was like, oh, my God. And yeah, it was. She wasn't joking. No, she was.

She was like a must have been a playmate. Oh, I thought maybe she'd only seen that one clip and like somehow like. No, that would be insane. Yeah, that would be insane. Yeah, I had I had someone do a drive by at dinner last night with shoot you. No, being like like just saying like, hello. and uh i was with flan's whole family her mom got like a big kick out of it that's the best um yeah yeah in the future if there's ever a playmate that sees me in the wild wait until

i'm like talking to a girl or something yeah bring a girl over all right all right ready hit me pitches first pitch is from anna stacy she says hi alvin simon and theodore simon I'm Theodore. So I'm Alvin? Yeah. That makes sense. You're using that meme that's like, who getting the best head? You have to...

We'll talk about it later. But it's like, you're fated who cooking, and it's like a rhinoceros making enchiladas. Wait, who are you? You're Theodore? I'm Simon. I feel like you're... You just said I'm Theodore immediately. I feel like you're Theodore, you're Simon.

That's what we said. And I'm Alvin. Cool. Yeah. Wait, we're actually, we're wearing green, red, and blue right now. Yeah. Simon. red is a stretch for lauren but reg reg okay what is the worst part about having to take

prerequisites at college you don't give a shit about what you're learning they're oh uh you have to take them and they're boring and they're you it's all common sense you're hammered yeah okay she says you're battling like if you're lauren you're battling um like a drinking problem wait mom if you're listening right now love you but my mom texted me the other day and was like is rusty serious about this drinking thing i was like no mom it's a joke she was actually concerned i do not have a drinking problem it's really frustrating that like that's what you took away from this because it's just i'm putting myself out there and like i'm trying to use you know this platform to all right all right all right all right um anna says

the worst part about taking pre-reqs at college is taking psychology and philosophy classes wherever and just trauma dumps the whole time yes with the voting booth each time you leave class you get one anonymous vote to put a classmate who has too much to say on probation from the class if they get enough votes they are permanently banished from the class and will not receive a refund everyone who voted for that person will get to share the spoils of their refund instead anyways me and my dog love the pod peace and love i love that this feels like a great way to keep people quiet yeah oh my god classes would fly by yeah did i ever tell you about my uh philosophy class i took a philosophy class and uh there was a kid in it who we were like kind of buddies outside of class but

he was like on the debate team like took this class like very very seriously i thought it was very interesting but it's like it's just hard to debate these kids because they're pros and we were talking about what we had read the night before and we were going to talk about in class and he gave me like all of his thoughts on it so i had like a pretty good like understanding of like okay this is like a solid argument for that and when it came to me they asked me my thoughts before they asked him and so i like kind of regurgitated what he said and then he just argued the other side and just fucking annihilated me and i was like did he do that on purpose like he was like trying to get some reps in he like it was like someone threw a lob to him or i threw a lob to

him and he dunked on me and he and he gave you the ball and said lob it you got dunked on motherfucker dunked on motherfucker do you watch the basketball championship yeah it was good guys i i picked florida did did you even realize that i no i was i can't hear you i think your mic's cut out isn't that kind of crazy i i didn't watch one game and i didn't even know how to log into my town but i won you won the whole thing did not wait who won i don't know i feel like we should Oh, my God. I forgot about the play. You didn't win the thing.

You picked the right winner. We should... Why didn't we put money in it? Because there was like 200 random playmates. Oh, my mom asked if I won any money, and I said, I don't know. Playdate Madness winner, David42787. Shout out. David42787.

Wow, he did a great play. Should we send him merch? DM us. Yeah, DM us, and we will send you merch. Let me look. Wow, Lauren, you did not... I don't even see you up there. Well, dude, it's not my name.

It's like ESPN something, something, something. And Bbranch84 came in second. We will send you a consolation prize. What about third? No. No? Oh, Hayley Wilcox. I feel like that's a playmate that was written in before.

That name looks familiar. Sounds familiar. Henry. That sounds familiar. I knew a guy named that. All right. I love that pitch. Let's hear another one.

All right. Thank you, Anna. I cannot wait for team bonding lunch. I know, Sam. I'm stoked. Okay. Next pitch is from... This is actually a, we have a little, I don't know what I'm saying.

This band, The Third Floor, they have followed Playdate for a while. Oh, yeah. Are they from South Carolina? I think they are, actually. I need to click on their page, but go check them out. They sent in, what is the worst part about putting on shoes in the summer? Oh, wet and sandy feet. You have to put socks over your wet feet before you do it.

That's wrong, Rusty. It's actually hot feet. Wait, he wrote that? He wrote that. They know you guys. Hot feet. Hot feet. My idea is a small refrigerator to keep in your room that can hold three to five pairs of shoes,

keeping them at around 40 degrees, perfect for having nice cold feet on a hot summer day. Just finish a day of work and you come home with sweaty feet? Go on over to the feet refrigerator and switch to a nice pair of cold shoes while your work shoes cool off. That's great. That reminds me. Peter used to put his boxers in the freezer. that sounds awesome just fucking killer wait why why would he want to wear the because it's hot florida oh i guess but i don't think it really like i don't think it took like they're like

things don't get cold unless they're like wet wet yeah so like yeah they might have been like slightly cold yeah oh he would just throw them in mine regular this way mine will get cold come on talking about pissing my pants what up shawty when was that time you peed your pants every time before the live shows when i would pee i would like it would always still dribble out because i'd be nervous so a little bit before every live show nervous nervous i i put it back in way too early a couple weeks ago and like literally like fully pissed my pants like it was like i had like another like like court ounce take me to court like a judge and the jury was

right all right thank you third floor man thank you anastasia love you guys love you guys love you guys what is the worst part about having like a boring room i don't know you're talking to a guy who has one i don't really give a shit not as it's boring it's a boring room yeah this is uh this is a projector that goes on the on your ceiling and it can project anything like onto the walls and make it look like you're in a pirate ship it can make it look like you're in space it can make it look like you have cool art on the walls and you can customize whatever you want so it's like you're no longer paying for paintings you're no longer paying for posters like it can change the color of your sheets it can change the color of your rug everything it's whatever you

want um personally i would put a window into uh like a hot guy's a hot guy's room to watch him change or stuff like that i know lauren would probably do that as well um you could have like a dog park outside window with a dog park and look at dogs outside puppies yes um there could be some sort of chess game happening between two savants outside of your window any literally just name something dragons yes dragons sure blowing fire sure a guy with abs doing me oh you sure yeah you're gonna be kind of jarring to wake up and you see yourself getting fucking tossed around by a guy with a jacked guy with abs god i wish i had abs i'm working i have a belly you're getting uh you're getting hotter by the week and it's very very frustrating

i don't know about that you look you look significantly in better shape than the last time i saw you which is jarring like a week ago yes i honestly agree with that yeah really it's it's it's pretty it's been taking a toll on my like mental health well jack don't yeah don't don't let someone else's success take away from your own success but like i if it's basically it's kind of like if i'm failing you're not failing i want everyone else around me i want their life to turn to dust yeah i feel that no i feel the exact same yeah yeah all the time it's just like i i don't have any willpower or control and every time i see a snack i have to eat it every time i see a beer i have to shock on it a shot you have to every time i see a shot i

have to like to pour it on like a hot i have to tell me i see a funnel i have to hook it up to a hot lady's butt and make her butt chug it um now i'm i'm oh my god z z and i z tyler and i were trying to tell my art ty's twin my friend our roommate that uh he like he used to have like washboard abs yeah wait z yeah he's not like fat by any means but like you just we like have gotten older and he like no longer is in high school yeah and we were saying like because ty is jack we'll put a picture i took a picture of ty's abs the other day we'll put it right here that guy's and they're twins and we were saying in three months he could get those back yeah yeah and he said he said he thinks it would take two years and i was like i think you get in your own head

where you're like you're way you think you're way further away from yeah like if you i think it's also a lot easier to get jacked again if you've been jacked 100 yeah yeah you don't just like lose your it's not just like gone yeah but i'm trying to get him i'm trying to get him abs and then i ordered a i ordered a naughty pie and we split it and i was like i'm not doing this guy is that the one with the honey and stuff yeah hot honey ricotta i need to look at it it flew threw me like lava out of a cheesecake like a home home run from a from a bat from a big baseball bat oh that's crazy that place was called naughty pie nature holy shit you know what that means naughty by nature like that restaurant was like a play on naughty by nature but it was naughty

pie nature that's so awesome you actually need to text edge and tell him that we need to do a team lunch i will sweet can we go to alfalfa yes oh yeah i'm down i had alfalfa yesterday i've actually haven't had that in years pitch me willy oh i forgot what is my pitch sorry i wrote it down online online i tweeted it oh here we go this is the practical stoplight how many times you get a stoplight when you're like there's no one going one way and there's 18 people waiting to go the other way yes why not just okay two options do what they do with like those little coco things that drive around just outsource labor to like a country where it's cheap and have a guy who just monitors the stoplight and just makes decisions oh yeah yeah or we can do the labor here i guess

but and then all our taxes go up yeah but anyway the just have a like a a real guy operating the stoplight or i feel like ai is pretty damn good so maybe we just make it ai now and and you can do like little things like like for instance today i'm waiting to cross and the the green is going that way so i should be able to cross but there's a green arrow so like in theory someone's turning they would turn into me so the thing would check if there's anyone with their blinker on and then be like nah you can walk i just think stoplights bother me sometimes because it feels like one area of where we really could we have the technology yes it's probably the ai thing rather than the uh big building guys doing it but oh i would i have a third option oh okay and one guy

does all of them no this is what i'm excited about we have gotten to the point like we've advanced as a society where a lot of like fun jobs don't exist anymore yeah like you know they were just like random like chimneys i guess that's not funny but like there were just like odd weird jobs like what if it at every intersection every major intersection there's a guy who gets to sit in a little tower oh and he's like bink bink yeah come on and he's gotta have to be like huge and like people can like uh people can like tip him and like send him snacks yeah yeah yeah there's like a huge traffic jam and you're like i got a hundy stick if you turn this green on he's like come on yeah pink i picture it like the lever in harry potter where

like uh it like makes the bus go skinnier yes yeah i'm in hey ernie the leaky cauldron that's in london that's what he would say you're doing so good man you're doing really good you're doing really good i just really uh sometimes when i'm watching harry potter i think this is really like fun for me and i just wish that real life felt like that sometimes it's like on a bus that compressed and made your face yeah that's like at least a year or two ago hey hey ernie why the long face and you're like that's a fun thing to say i know all my bus drivers just call me like slurs and they call me the guinea all your bus drivers called you slurs i had a bus driver named mr brown and he was i was actually talking about him last night he was

the nicest guy in the world and one of my favorite memories with him i hadn't ridden his bus in like 10 years but i would see him in the hallway every once in a while if he was like i think they would like move they like act as like a custodian as well sometimes whatever so i'd see him every once in a while and he like remembered my name on the last day of high school we were at we were facing each other i was in my car he was in his bus uh pulling into the school and he leaned out the window he was like jack have a great time i was like cool guy that's nice mr brown if you're out there i hope i hope bus nine is still treating you wrong that's emotional yeah i'm emotional he had a he had an accent that i could never fully pin down jack

he's a clearly irish yeah i don't know jack i'll get on my boss i'm from ireland he used to hit the bumps really high whoa that was fun oh oh he would just slam through him no you thought i meant like yeah he used to hit the bumps you would get us to school so fast and then i had another bus driver mr mitchell who would let us use the emergency exit which i always thought was oh out the back like oh that's kind of sick it was so fun it was like jumping out this is you're setting a batting like i think at that age you need to learn like there are some things that just like are off limits yeah and like he his his way was just like whatever's most fun yeah my bus drove off a bridge once really i told you about this didn't i yeah oh

oh oh oh in uh the like freshman high school yeah yeah in the ashley river it's crazy i know oh i don't think you told this story really on the pod like a national no i don't think you told this wait can you just give a brief oh it might have been i actually think it was when chad and jt you were on yeah yeah yeah right no i wasn't no it was literally wait talking your mic oh sorry like charleston's got like a ton of bridges and stuff and my freshman year there was like an accident right in front of us and he had to like swerve around and it was like right as we were getting on the bridge but it went off the bridge and like the front of it dipped in and like the back wheels were still up on the bridge you even heard this whoa no never there's like the police

came and everything and they had they like opened the back door and everyone had to climb up out freshman year of high school yeah holy shit 13 or whatever yeah wait was it could this have been like really bad it was like a close to dying yeah i mean it was like thankfully it was like right at the beginning of the river so like the water wasn't very deep and the bus stayed like at an angle but like in theory if that had happened 50 feet further down the bridge we would have fallen i'm so curious as to the bridge i need to like visualize this it was that kid like simon didn't that kid simon birch save you guys what do i look up no but uh look up uh the wapu cut w-a-p-o-o are you pranking me no look up w-a-p-o-o you're pranking me look up the wapu

cut o-o-c-u-t you guys are pranking me is this real yeah this was it wapu creek bridge wapu creek and look bridge in charleston south carolina okay okay connect the cities of charleston james allen you're pranking me no literally the first thing what are you talking that's not that's 2022 you got wapu yeah i was trying to i was trying to spin it into the there's a simon birch it's a there's a movie called simon birch and it's about this uh dwarf that um they live in maine and he kills his friend's mom on accident with a foul ball and uh and then they're on a they're on a bus trip and the bus goes into the river and simon uh keeps a level head and saves everyone he's a hero got it and then half halfway through it i was like i was like there's absolutely

no way he's seen he's seen simon i thought maybe it was a guy from family i'm thinking why have i never heard this near-death experience i mean that would be the most insane story you almost got birch too dude it was just you were looking down at your shoes and i was like what sorry got classic um all right do you guys want to do teach me something okay this is kind of old news by now but they de-extincted the dire wolf do you see this i did fucking i saw that are you serious i have some calls i gotta make some calls we see edge getting like ragdolls um yeah so basically the dire wolf i thought was a fictional thing i've never heard of it it's in

like game of thrones okay but like it was a real wolf and they basically using like a 70 000 year old skull and like a tooth they used it on like a different they tweaked the dna of an existing wolf and now there are three dire wolf puppies around and here's my question what do you do with those three now because you can't just inbreed them oh look at that but like why aren't they just they're gonna come out like just dumb dumber maybe they're animals so interesting they're all dumb as shit dude every animal dumb as shit oh look have you seen that tiger with down syndrome i think i have the white is it the white tiger a white tiger i don't know just look up tiger with down syndrome isn't that like a whole thing like is eeyore has depression yeah i've seen this

yeah they're all they're all like they all equal like one thing oh kenny which like i find it hard to believe that down syndrome tigers are so gorgeous i mean it's probably the same as an old tiger tiger imagine like you like take your kid to the special olympics and he's racing against like a tiger this doesn't seem fair except baseball you would destroy them how are they why are they so cute really good question dude i saw a picture of ichiro's you know they used to do that thing where they'd show like the hot zones and the cold zone so it's like yeah he hits he bats this from this corner whatever his cold zone was uh 250 wait what so like the part It was a strike zone that, like, he batted 250.

That was the worst part of the strike zone, and then his average was, like, 570-something. That's crazy. He's ridiculous. He's like Pete Alonzo this season. He's been playing the lights out. Dude, the Sox put up 18 runs the other day. Did they really?

We're back. They got that guy. What's that guy who's playing, like, lights out? I don't know. I didn't watch. They got a guy who's playing lights out. Willier something? It's like Willier.

I swore this was going to be the year I was going to watch every home game, and I just have missed every single one except for three. I've been it's hard like the Mets are playing right now I think that's that's like the the main crux with my plan is like unless I'm doing what like Sam and Ben have baseball and like in their office yeah like unless I have YouTube TV open at work I got the MLB TV thing which is kind of sick so I can watch every game dude uh Z got that as well yeah it's great I've been watching at least some of every Mets game uh all right Willie teach me something brother all right here we go uh oh i was watching the natty that's what i call it i guess sorry the national championship

on monday and uh it they were playing at the i was like how are they doing this in san antonio because they always do those games at like football arenas like the national championship is usually at like you'll do it like indianapolis or like phoenix or something and they do it like have you seen like they'll do like it's like a football stadium and then they like fill in most of the floor and there's always these pictures of like insane vantage points yep so i was like how are they doing that in san antonio because there's no football team so i looked up and they got the alamo dome there which was built like in the early 2000s to try to court an nfl team and they just never succeeded so it's like the utsa home football stadium and it's 65 000 seats

even more for this and i don't know i just thought it was interesting that's crazy they i think they housed the saints during katrina or like that season oh yes yes yes yes so i guess they came into play there and i think they do the final four there like every you know somewhat regularly but and i guess concerts and shit but just kind of crazy to me that there's a venue that big that isn't so did the guy who builds is the guy who built it like did he just fuck himself the guy who built it or like whoever like invested all that money like that group probably lost like all their money yeah i'm not really sure honestly i mean i guess in theory like the nfl is what only eight gain eight events a year yeah that's true so maybe there is that's like a you know there's

a chick-fil-a in the mercedes-benz stadium where the falcons play and people just go what no no i mean it's like it's for when it's open but i always thought it's funny because like all football games are on sundays oh oh so it's not open that is interesting yeah uh should we do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today uh okay mine today is lauren pauses immediately and i mean immediately wait what was your t-shirt the dire wolf thing oh right um all right everyone's seen this video i think i had never not actually okay this is yes i have i haven't seen the end of this video it made me cry on the plane cool it is so i don't even want to preface it too much just stick with it if you've seen the video i promise you maybe have not seen this ending so let's get i

haven't seen this this kid basically thought his dad forgot his birthday and then right before his baseball game he tells him to open up a package and it's a new baseball bat and we'll see what happens after that don't cry you're about to make me cry don't cry pull it out i ain't forget about you i want to see some home runs i love you don't cry let me see let me see you post up with How you gonna knock it out the bar? Here you go Right Yup

Cock shot Right to his Right to his dad I got it Yeah Right to his dad I caught it I caught it baby

Yeah Way to go Woo Thanks Isn't that awesome? Yeah I'm gonna cry I I had a couple IPAs

On the plane And I notoriously get very emotional when i'm drunk on a plane and uh saw that video and literally had to like put my face to the window because the guy next to me was like saw me sobbing i love that directly to his dad that's fucking and his dad caught it yeah that's that's awesome so special i love that all right good luck topping that one will yeah no mine was mine uh my this guy rocks his nba announcer kevin harlan I love Kevin Hartley. Have you seen this?

No. This just doesn't play it. From Madison Square Garden, the NBA on TNT is brought to you by the new Crispy Tenders at CarMax. What? The way car buying should be. Can that be? What is that?

Wait a minute. Hold on. I'm holding. Hold on. Are they serving tenders with cars? Are there tenders in the car? Because if there is, you're in. We just had the marriage of two different sponsors, and it was ugly.

Oh, my God. He's the funniest man alive. Only you can laugh about it. That just goes to show you, I literally won't eat anything. He wants the beginning again. When he goes, what? The NBA on TNT is brought to you by the new Crispy Tenders at Carmex. What?

the way car buying should be can that be what is that wait a minute that's so funny he's like the he's like a legend he's in every like 2k yeah that's what he always just makes me think i agree because his voice i think i've played 2k more than i've played 2k more than i've watched the end yeah and his his voice is so like he nails it every time so it does sound exactly like it sounds a decade that is how have i never seen that i think it just happened like last night oh i saw it this morning the new crispy tenders from carmax what what someone said that one of the comments like you gotta try the seafood boil at auto zone that was like when we got hot dogs at uh or no that was me and liam me and liam got hot dogs at enterprise oh really

um that's great all right willie you're back do you want to start with social experiments that don't exist or reggae songs that don't exist i would like to start social experiments that don't exist let's do it tee it up for me king all right oh my god these are the craziest social experiments in history um have you ever seen the one where they see how many bitcoins someone has to have for your partner to leave you for them yes uh do you remember the calgary squirrel test they locked 14 people and 14 squirrels in a room together with nothing but a game of monopoly what happened squirrels got boardwalk that's life man um oh you know what i love is uh sexy homeless man versus ugly one and they see who can collect more money okay god is this like

are you thinking like youtube videos i think i might have misunderstood the problem i might of misunderstood as well all right uh do you remember the notre dame hat test 21 students at notre dame were split into three groups one with no hats one with normal baseball caps and one with lavish top hats by day five the ones with lavish top hats had completely asserted dominance and controlled the other two groups four people died that's slip that one in at the end um no i understand i understood the prompt okay but like for some reason my mind could only go yeah there i was trying to do like stanford prison experiment ones and then it was just like not working for me got it um oh i love the one where they have

one black guy who's really bad at basketball and one white guy who's really good at basketball and they see if people would rather have a black guy who's bad or a white guy who's good people usually pick the black guy that doesn't get in the office is that the one you were really worried about i think that's fine yeah i think it's fine i think it's a funny commentary on our society and racism uh the montana jumping experiment they told one group of people to jump and one group of people not to for five days on day three thousands of bees were released into both rooms it was concluded that jumping had no effect on bee stings you're better that was a good one that was really i was having a hoot in my bed this yeah that one's funny

oh uh i like to see i like i really like the one where they see how many times removed your hot cousin has to be before you'd hook up with them oh yes that's a good one they landed on fourth fourth cousin is fine okay cool that's good well it's not fine that's just when people could no longer control their urges okay i'm that's good that's good to hear uh for a number of reasons thank god god uh the lake winnipeg sake lunch test two men were each given lunch with one catch if one of them decided he liked the other one's lunch better he could steal it if the lunch was stolen however the original owner of the lunch was brutally beaten to death in front of the other participant this is precisely what ended up happening but the test

was deemed inconclusive because one guy got a cheesesteak and the other guy got egg salad so it wasn't fair there were too many variables yeah one of them was brutally beaten to death yeah like salad i didn't do it this one's not funny i just kind of want to see this one i want a thousand people that like sorry i want a test group of a thousand people that like represent the world's population in terms of like race religion and like socio-economical status or whatever and see if they would like build the same like weird hierarchy that we have if they were like on like an island and like those things weren't real that one's not funny i just want to see it i would like to see that as well this one's not funny either the montana sleep

experiment 42 men and women were monitored in their sleep every night while a number of factors were tested the experiment concluded that most people wake up when any type of heavy machinery is operated in their living room sounds funny yeah i like it all right will you tee up reggae songs for me willie these are reggae songs that don't exist this was really hard to do reggae songs don't have like a distinct i i really thought it was going to be like like there was going to be like a a common theme yeah there isn't sunshine um de-legalize weed this isn't fun anymore and it's about the struggles of uh you know having access to unlimited weed and getting too high i like that i've got burn my worries it's like let the sun burn my worries

away i won't feel them anymore after today yeah good oh have you heard hump and a neighbor it's about it's about uh loving on your neighbor and how you know the complications of having them that close and you know maybe they're married or not but uh a hump and a neighbor is always is a very fun time i'm a hump in the neighbor i'm humping the neighbor humping the neighbor i got foot off the gas yeah take your foot off the gas stop going so fast and enjoy the island life mon mon we've all heard one love

have you ever heard three love it's it's about it's about you know how fun a menage a trois can be between three people that love each other three love three hearts

let's hump each other and see who far trees let me be life can be so stressful for you and me we go to the forest where the trees will let me be lauren's just fully just vaping i'm not sorry scrolling drink drinking at work no i like it um you got you got we got 10 minutes left i'm not even i'm ordering my lunch we're going to lunch together what are you scrolling instagram no what are you doing i was this is some people this would be some people's dream job dream job this is my dream job air belt in mexico right now listening to this podcast he's on he's literally on the conveyor

belt about to get turned into a robot yeah can you guys believe that we have playmates with babies i know it's crazy i know we should have babies come on yeah uh sativa believer i like that uh it's about just you know sometimes you can find god in the smallest things and about smoking a little bit too much sativa and you see god and uh spoiler alert she's a woman wow shade come and go that would be funny if uh if you died and like this whole time we've been like picturing him as this guy and he's he's just like he just is like oh Oh, he's like exactly the guy. He's like a white dude.

Shade come and go. Shade come and go. Shade come and go. But you stay with my side. Shade come and go. Shade come and go. But you stay in my life. I think your lip's bleeding.

Oh no, dry. I have aqua four if you want some. They need an aqua four? um do you want it jack right now is it beating right now a little bit it'll just seal it in uh rasta pasta it's about trying to make edibles out of a famous italian dish oh i like that it does not taste good yeah i'm off that rasta pasta island in my mind this is about uh prince edward island nice i'm on an island in my mind it's very cold in canada i think i might have already pitched this one but some woman some cry yeah you have yeah okay i think i that was all my

uh that's a good one though a bud with bud is a bud of mine i like that friend who brings weed always welcome uh herb brooks oh i like that it's about uh playing hockey while you're high uh red light green night he's like you know he's stuck in a red light but when you're high you don't really care but we don't condone getting high getting high at the wheel no maybe you're the passenger i was laughing thinking about um oh you cousin island do you know you did that twice really yeah like the exact and we and we think of it twice or did you have it in your notes app and think you hadn't done it i thought i did it twice the other episode we also named revolved around cousin island i think that what happened i'm pretty sure last we named it something about

cousin yeah i think what happened was last year i was watching temptation island was like this would be funny if they were cousins and then i a new season came out i was watching it was like this would also be funny when they were what's temptation island temptation island is uh four couples and they take the men and they put them in one house and they put the what oh we've already talked about it i actually can't believe you've done it five episodes in a row seven times get this man on cousin island i thought he's playing into the oh i have one i have one called way too high way too high oh i like it i thought there was gonna be more but it's supposed to be red red wine but it's

A way too high. I don't know the lyrics to Red Red Red. Yeah, me neither. All right, who's ready for Rusty's song of the day? If you guys haven't followed the playlist yet, show me. Check it out, and I hope when you listen to these songs,

you think of the three of us. Today's song is called Babylon by David Gray. I saw a girl post a TikTok to it, and it made me happy, and I've been jamming out to it all weekend. It makes me feel like Will and I got separated by a huge natural disaster, and then we see each other across a meadow,

and we're running towards each other oh that's really cute that's really cute i missed you so much i miss you too well part of my lip is bleeding i know part of my lip is bleeding uh all right whose personality are you guys gonna steal this week uh wait is this this is a monday episode monday monday monday monday oh wow this is the first time in a while where we're actually recording like yeah that's guys we apologize all the other ones also we predicted val kilmer was gonna die yeah dude i wrote fucking crazy i wrote on it on the episode i wrote uh crazy timing rest in peace val sorry about that val um i'm gonna go i'm gonna go with um i can't should we change the question at the end yeah i don't like this one yeah

sometimes that's just hard i can't uh let's do a new one one thing you're looking forward to or maybe one yeah let's do rosebud let's do rosebud oh i like that i like all three all right but you gotta go quick then my rose of the week was i had a killer pizza last night i go over got over my fear of jalapenos on the pizza and it was awesome um my bud is i'm looking forward to kicking it here not traveling this weekend uh i'm gonna try and steal the dog again um and then my thorn i don't want to sound i don't want to sound uh uh fake or anything i don't really have any thorns right now i'm having kind of a killer week that's and that's fine that's great

uh my rose was um just being began to be with all my old buds this weekend and Being with people I love that I haven't seen in a while is just really special and fulfilling. My bud is, I think, Scott and I are going to go on a big hike this weekend, go camping. I think that'll be fun. That brother loves camping. He loves. Brother's camping, actually. Oh, Lauren and I were talking about this.

We're going to do another bowling night if you and Scott are in. Down here. Bowling. And my thorn is having to come back to work today. i was pto for the last week so yeah that's valid i woke up this morning like god damn it oh i have a thorn actually my face is falling off of itself oh yeah yeah that's a good one actually um i know we try and keep things like light on here but my thorn your um my rose of the week what's today it's wednesday today's monday no it's oh it is monday

um you ruined it you ruined the immersion factor i'm so sorry all right go quick okay my rose of the week was probably house sitting for my old neighbors again um i love being with those beagles and it's just a good time i love being by myself over there um the my bud is spain is quickly approaching i'm getting very excited for it i'm gonna think i'm gonna buy a new camera lens beforehand because the one i have now is like pretty heavy if anyone is a photographer knows about lenses i have a 24 to 70 lens and that is very heavy so i'm trying to get like a smaller one just like more compact so i'm looking forward to that and then my thorn was probably a weirdly i was pretty hungover on saturday morning after a show i went to and i was

extremely anxious so i went to the beach and was by myself and that was good but i hated being yeah i think sometimes when the amount you drink like all right great episode guys self-reflection guys comment uh comment your favorite memory with a pet you've had we love you guys so much have a great rest of your monday have a great tuesday and we will see you guys bright and early on wednesday take a look at that little rump will's been working on come on comment pepperoni comment pepperoni lauren have lauren play that motherfucking theme music calculating route to avoid seeing poverty turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food steer clear of the

crowded shelter turning people away then take the next exit let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty your donations help the united way fight poverty in thousands of ways like providing food shelter and crisis prevention donate today at unitedwaygt.org what does a sunny getaway with air canada sound like sunny jamaica moves to its own rhythm rio comes alive long after the sun goes down philippines slows everything down and just when you think you've heard it all there's sunny Lima. However you imagine your sunny escape, Air Canada can take you there.

Book hot fares and vacation packages today. Nice travels.