Will & Rusty's Playdate - eilise patton teaches us how to honey launder

Episode Date: February 10, 2025

Actress and writer Eilise Patton joins the boys for a fantastic playdate, covering rollercoasters, the ham family business, naming your kids LeBron or Hermione, and the dark world of honey laundering. The gang also analyzes a Playmate pitch designed to make ghosting easier and a newfound discovery that’ll get you drunk WAY faster. Finally, Eilise crushes sayings, invents rom-coms that don’t exist, and breaks down the strategy behind crafting the perfect wedding guest list. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod FOLLOW EILISE: https://www.instagram.com/itseilisepatton/ SHOP OUR MERCH: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-pod/  HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/playdate TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL.  START YOUR NEW MORNING RITUAL & GET UP TO 43% OFF YOUR @MUDWTR WITH CODE PLAYDATE AT www.mudwtr.com/playdate! #mudwtrpod VISIT https://us.dollarshaveclub.com/collections/playdate-podcast AND USE PROMO CODE PLAYDATE FOR 20% OFF $20 OR MORE. GRAB A REFRESHING TWISTED TEA TODAY https://www.twistedtea.com/ 00:00 Intro 01:08 Granny Murphy’s Cincinnati Chili 05:24 The Groundlings 10:02 Super Bowl 17:15 Jonas Brothers 24:32 Eilise’s Most Bizarre Wedding Gift 29:12 Book Club 33:24 Celeb Gossip 37:10 Going through your Notes App 44:18 Online Hate 50:02 Roadmap 58:05 Pitch Submissions 01:04:06 Pitches 01:13:39 Prank Call 01:17:14 This Guy Rocks 01:24:56 Teach Me Something 01:32:27 Rom Coms that Don’t Exist 01:41:17 Sayings that Don’t Exist 01:45:25 Whose Personality are you Stealing? #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll.

So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining Lepartee landscape. Playdate. Episode 78. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the podcast. Elise Patton.

Elise Patton. Hey, guys. I'm so excited to be here. You know, you just broke our glass ceiling, our gender barrier. Yes. Yeah. How does that feel? It feels good.

Did you guys start? the podcast being like going from the get go you knew you didn't want many women on have you ever seen little rascals yeah we've like kind of a similar code of conduct we're like that there's the only time a woman's allowed is if it's like a very special

occasion wow for the record I feel really special then it's not for lack of trying yeah it seems that we just maybe connect more with I'm just the first woman to say that it makes me feel worse I'm like I actually got nothing going on I guess so every other woman was like i'm gonna stay far away from the play something like that

i have an update on a story from a previous podcast wait can i do one thing beforehand i just don't want to get cold i made my grim granny murphy's chili of course oh yeah which we leaked we accidentally or on purpose leaked the secret recipe yes and we had a big debate he thinks he's gonna hate it great i don't think i'm gonna hate it you have a better recipe sure there's nothing i like more than chili at 9 a.m right at least have you had skyline what did you say have you had skyline have i had skyline oh so wait willie this isn't even skyline chili this is a no i haven't for the record i said i don't like i wouldn't like skyline chili this is a secret recipe skyline chili is way better than this not way better but better

it's the same this is your grandmother's recipe yeah but it she made it trying to mimic skyline chili okay all right is this gonna run through me yeah no this is effectively skyline it's a close thing you're gonna get in la it's okay okay it's definitely not he was never gonna say like no well i gotta kind of i will i will concede that i thought it was gonna taste i thought skyline chili was like my lord yeah i thought it was going to be so i was wrong it's good chili i haven't had skyline though that's good all right that was our that was our weekly chili segment i like that you were like i just don't want it to get cold and then served us

ice cold chili it was just it wasn't hot i thought it was hot um okay at least to fill you in yeah it's hot what a strange what an odd way to start the morning slash podcast so you like it it's much better than i thought i'll concede that dub um so at least to fill you in there's a girl in my apartment building that we're kind of on the same schedule so we're always in the we've been in the elevator together multiple times okay she has a dog i told a couple weeks ago that i walked into the elevator and the dog had a cast on. I have to address that. So I took my headphones off and I said, Oh, like what happened? And she was like, jumped off the roof. And I was like,

Oh, what? Why? And then I tried to like lighten the mood. So I looked at the dog. I was like, why would you do that? Sweetheart. And the owner goes just to feel something. And then it was my stop. So we didn't get to like discuss it anymore. Coming home from work the other day, get in the elevator dog sells the cast on i said um i said oh how's the leg coming along she goes we're gonna have to put her down what no and i was like oh what and she was like i was like really that seems like a kind of a drastic like measure to take she's like yeah i'm just kidding i was like oh okay and it was so funny but i didn't have time to like fully process and how old is this person she's all right oh okay so she's got a sense of humor so she got out

and i didn't get to like tell her that i thought it was funny because i was just in shock but like we're not we're not like we've only interacted those two times so she's just gotten me twice so you got razzed twice i got razzed twice by the same girl she we find out she's like a stand-up comedian it's amy poehler i guess her name is nikki blazer we're like okay missed if you chapped us um then i watched grammy and there she is yeah she was yeah she does roasts for a living but it was but it was shocking yeah that's really funny she seems really cool and i'm so happy the dog doesn't actually have to because i thought that was where the end of the story and i was like yeah that was the morning with chili and the dog has to be put down

it was shocking but i think she's the funniest person in our building at least oh yeah wow but also you think she knows she's the funniest person in your building yeah yeah she walked away she's like she walked she walked in she strutted out of the elevator like i got him twice she walked past the doorman like tossed her keys keep it running her dog is like lol so what have you been up to elise just kind of living and just laughing loving being busy but moving around um i'm trying to think of what's new in the world you're you're doing groundlings yeah do you do if you have a good sketch do you do them or us it's a good question what i i have to like keep a log in my phone sometimes stuff like doesn't work here that

would work on stage and stuff yeah so there's some things where like like i did we do well not to spoil but for the live show a little trampoline action bit and that started at groundlings and then i was like oh but that's live but i also think i'm thinking about we're doing like a you could film it here he's in the live show now yeah that's really cool i also i wanted to tell you that your email back because they keep mistaking willie just can't get on the they will not say he's doing the live show they were they keep putting different men and they keep saying like not you and then you send an email and you go i'm just willie you go it's actually not rusty it's just gonna be me just just willie and i was like don't don't

do yourself like that so the first mistake though where they put you with chester is like okay that makes sense like chester used to do it yes mistaking you for me and putting my full name yep on it he's like at that point it's not a clerical error it's like someone either thinks this is hilarious they go he might be better i don't know they're trying to save the show what about this guy no we're telling you it's willie i saw the train okay now it says mike davis who's that they hire a new guy just to put him in the live show i went to your live show at groundlings and saw the trampoline thing oh because joe's joe's girlfriend uh is like a big fan of elise's she's also in i didn't even know that she's in

the step below you in groundlings or whatever like she just she had just started when wait really i had no idea joe has never said this to me this is what i've been trying to do no craving sorry oh uh no that would be crazy but it's a guy he knows she was like she was like do you want to come to groundlings with us and i think in hindsight it was definitely like if i come we'll like talk to elise after and i just didn't put that together yeah and so i went didn't tell you i was coming watched the show and then immediately left and didn't say hello to you and then i think that just defeated the whole purpose of them bringing me yeah it was just us three so you they were like it was just a utility you were just like yeah i think they

like using me but um yeah i like didn't tell you i was coming yeah i met her after we had dinner i hung out with joe it was incredible you just left yeah that's awesome that's always weird too because you like usually if i my face looks insane or something if i was in the last sketch then you run back and like get dressed or whatever and run out to but whenever you're running out after any live show i'm sure you feel this way too where you're like do people think we're good yeah you just like walk out and you look around you're like and if all your friends are there too it's so embarrassing yeah like tell me what you think it was good or and everyone just has to like give you compliments i liked our last one in brooklyn where the green room immediately became like the

highest density part of the entire world yeah i think i let like way too many members of my family in instead of like meeting people in the stands i was like in my underwear surrounded by like 40 people yeah it's really weird i felt like kind of embarrassed to to that you were gonna see me at the show why if i told you ahead of time that i was coming i don't think it would have been weird but i think like secretly like sitting under my hat being like i'm watching elise didn't say anything and then i see you and then you are just there that would have been really weird too like is that what he just said no no like that like if you were trying to escape and i just see you like okay i was just at the show you see him he's just throwing up in the third

row what's going on well didn't your husband see me oh yeah yeah he was like oh that's that's rusty from work your colleagues here your colleagues here look at least he's like yelling in the middle of your at least at least you work with him that guy yeah oh man yeah eric's good at like just leading like with the most sometimes they're like famous people who come to the show and later i'll be like oh yeah that person was there her time in like three weeks later i'm like okay good to know are you excited for the super bowl we have a show that night which is so wait who's gonna go really brutal it's sold out but really yeah but the thing is i mean no no no it's a lot of people a it's like

anyone would be lucky thank you for saying that it's a nightmare when eric found out that it Cause it's like our big opening show is on that night too, which is usually like the best of show, which is just brutal because I don't know. My brother's coming into town. Cause he was like, if the commanders lose, then I'll come.

Cause then I, it's fine. But when Eric found out that it was that night, he was, it was like a denial. He was like, no, it's not.

It was, I felt so bad. Cause he was like, why, why would they do that? He looked at me and was like, almost here. He's like,

why would they do that? He goes, no, they didn't check your calendar. there's no way they did that i was like i they they did i'm sorry i went he's like these people don't care about anybody else it was like me finding out i wasn't going to be able to watch like the bachelor finale or something he was like no it's fine i'll go but i just like didn't know that and he was like so upset was there any conversation like of him being like but you

obviously you probably don't even want me there yeah he was well there's a previews night so i was like if you want you could just go to the weekend before but my brother's coming down so he's like it's fine it's at 7 30 so it's like hope he was like hopefully the games blow out like but if it's really tight like what time is it no wait for the game at like three here the game's at three okay i think but still it's like it goes four hours like you don't really want to be rushed but i put it in his head i was like you guys should just have some beers hang out at the house and then like uber to the show like you can come to the show really late because you're already on the list and he's like okay you're gonna look it's gonna be hard and like the glow of his ipad

sweetheart for your acting to keep up with uh mahomes is acting to get um flags from the refs right that's my biggest worry right right right yeah for the super bowl very cool yes i'm excited are you guys excited what are you guys doing for it we're going to nash vegas we are in nash vegas which last year it's by the way by the time anyone's listening to this the super bowl already happened this comes out on monday crazy that was a crazy thing that happened with mahomes and the refs what are your what are your predictions and give me something niche that happens during the game oh i think um i think there's gonna be a streaker i think um kenneth gainwell's gonna score a touchdown who's that like back up running back for the crime he got hurt though i think do

you go to jail stringing yeah shrinking i think they take you like for the night type yeah but i think last year like some guys like bet a bunch on it and then went and did it yeah but i think his bookie yeah so he bet what i thought there was a fart over there yeah did you just toot that was my can he bet that he bet like a lot of money that there was going to be a streaker and then he was the streaker oh and then bragged about it in his book he was just like oh that doesn't count you said brag about in his book you're like bragging about it i was like he got a book out that quickly the guy he wrote a book which by the way i think is fake like everything's new york times bestseller i think there's just a million different categories yeah like how do you

i feel like i could speaking of uh you know i was just talking about perks of being a wallflower yeah yeah i just saw the movie this week what thoughts i haven't seen in like a long time sad although happy because i thought that i knew that the ending and then i was wrong thankfully because i thought he was gonna die and he didn't but they just banned it in south carolina why Also in South Carolina when their priorities I feel like are usually so low on anything But they're like that's gotta go Brightest minds in South Carolina

Department of Education banned The perks of being a wallflower It's because it was making Being weird cool They want to bring back old school jocks and stuff I like when they were Clashing the cheerleaders They want like jocks and nerds

Guys like up on a podium like we're trying to bring back The jocks and the nerds type stuff we want like glee type high school yeah phil's brother my friend phil from home his brother's obsessed with glee i like flu but he doesn't have access to any streaming that like has it so he has to watch it in like clips on youtube and like he's trying to piece it together and he'll call me and kind of explain he can't get the any of the subscriptions uh no i imagine i'm just crying like i guess i just kind of was like brother it's 7.99 a month if you can swing it it's definitely on something i think they his parents are trying to you know get past this glee obsession trying

to push him towards the jocks yeah but he'll call me and he's just like rachel you know this happened with rachel today okay have you been thinking about uh leah michelle not being able to read yeah and she had to like clarify that several times i don't think she have you seen her sign stuff yeah yeah that's i think part of it her signature is they were someone at her book signing was like can you write like to whatever and she like kind of like like wrote some chicken scraps and then handed it to the guy and the guy wrote like to look up her signature is that where that started like the rumor for not being able to read i think it was like a director maybe google like leah michelle can't read they're like can you write this out to my mom she draws a circle

no leah michelle can read she the rumor that she can't read is a conspiracy theory that began in 2018 what is strange that's the funniest conspiracy theory that's ever existed i trust gemini the ultimate gemini has survived did you guys you know if you want a better something better than gemini i would try perplexity ai yeah it's our new sponsor oh yeah that sounds great yeah you can ask it anything this podcast is brought to you by triple triple is the original high seltzer with three milligrams of THC and just 15 to 20 calories triple offers a social buzz similar to that of your favorite hard seltzer light on calories high on life it's all natural gluten-free and again just 15 to 20

calories guys I love triple because of the way it tastes and the way it makes me feel those are the two big things I love the grapefruit one which is what I'm holding and I drink these every weekend with my friends this weekend I had them while I was playing NCAA football with my roommate Scott and i beat him sort of anecdotal but uh it does seem to help i was utah and he was georgia and i still kicked his butt uh and i felt great while doing it and i didn't feel like i had to drink to keep up with everyone because i was drinking triples triple is born from a desire to blend thc social buzz with the social ritual of sipping on a seltzer triple is currently available at grocery stores liquor stores bars and restaurants in missouri kansas iowa louisiana georgia and

florida and will be available in illinois south carolina arizona and ohio by the end of the year looking at you letter boner nationally it is currently available online to get it now go to drink triple.com and use code playdate to get 10 off your order that's drink t-r-i-p-l-e.com and use code playdate for 10 off your order triple redefining the party landscape let's get back into the episode did you guys see the the jonas brothers last night yeah they went to a bar there was like a camp rock trivia and they found out and showed up i was thinking like and then they just took over the role as mc and the guy whose job it was was off to the side was so mad you imagine being like that's your gig like tuesdays i like knock trivia is he actually mad no but you

they would panic because they the journalists weren't listening to like weren't playing by the rules no which is also a nightmare for a trivia guy that sounds like a disaster trivia every week that is their worst nightmare yeah this is fun let's get back we're on number seven they were just making up questions no so like kevin would be like oh everyone's gonna know this like who did this in the movie and he would put the mic out and everyone would like yell their answers and then oh that's a nightmare it panned to the mc and the mc was like they still have to write it down they still have to write it down that is yeah oh yeah we should do something like that do you think we're on do you think that we could get a crowd that big no just like general

trivia be like we're general guys we're here i one time saw the jonas brothers outside a little doms which is like a restaurant near my house and they were all in like different colors like they look like the wiggles i don't know if they've just done like a they always are dressed like they just did a music video or something like who's just casually wearing that purple shirt that's crazy but they were in like full different it was like yellow green like you guys are sticking out so much i think when you're that like they're trying to hold on to it right like they're not at the point anymore we're like you need i need to wear all black i don't know they're pretty damn famous i feel like there is like a there you do cross a line when you're really

famous into it being cool they're just like i don't give a fuck yeah i'm not i don't know Well, it's like if I see a guy in a like generic black baseball hat pulled all the way down and I don't recognize him, I'm going to be like, oh, that guy's famous. Yeah. Now I need to figure out who it is. Like, it's almost like I'm trying not to be seen, but like also like I'm famous. The disguise of fame now I feel like is like a ball cap and sunglasses. Yes.

Sometimes I'll just walk around my neighborhood. Machine Gun Kelly wore cat ears on our flight once. Oh, tell her that. That was the craziest thing I've ever heard. i think i already probably told this but he just got on the flight like in between me and liam as we were boarding the plane uh so i was like comfort plus and i sat down and he was he went past me and i heard him say he was like on the phone he was like yeah i got a fucking middle seat i'm slumming it and then he walked all the way to the back he was in economy and he had cat ears on yeah they

dropped him off in the porsche too like they gave him the service up to the gate yeah what and then he walked he cut in the line like in between me and liam like right as like you know like the door they put like your carry-on luggage down yeah yeah he like came up that in between me and liam and uh and still he's like back and yeah he must i mean the only answer is that it was like a super last minute yeah i know i always wonder like even if you're so rich do you want to pay ten thousand dollars sometimes for like it feels crazy like they're so expensive but i guess i think you don't even care at that point your wife is megan fox megan fox megan fox daughter of guy fox who's that i thought did they break up he invented the mask what mask just they got divorced no you know

guy fox remember remember the n90 mask the covid mask no look up guy fox mask he's so rich and when the oh i can't say that but f-a-w-k-e-s just like he's so rich because of the covid mask and then when the fires happened he was like and we're back we are f-a-w-k-e-s are good in the fox house yeah remember remember that mask something of november so this was a back this was just a backwards way to get lauren to you you foxed her i guy foxed you i made you look up that mass he was born in 1570 what an insane year what was even happening i think that was like a I believe it was like a 300 or 400-year-old. It was the Middle Ages.

We made no progress. And then I believe the Renaissance happened. Good for them for just taking a break. They were like, we're not going to make any progress for a while. What happened that made them make progress all of a sudden? I don't know. Something with, like, it was cool to, like, create. People, in the Middle Ages, people were just trying to survive

because there was, like, the Black Death and shit in, like, the 1300s. 1800s and so there wasn't time to be like let's create like art and stuff like like and then in like the span of a couple hundred years they figured out like depth and stuff in like painting because no one had time to like sit and think about that stuff depth in painting what the hell like paintings and also painting paintings used to be like 2d like you had it was like a flat yeah but how is that like an advancement that led to well like i guess if you if they created shadows in a painting then you could see that there was like you know i'm talking about like how would that lead to like society advancing they had time to like think about amazing guys i gotta

go i had time to like when they're when like your entire i think like 70 of the world like died like you don't have time to be like i wonder if like math or like yeah yeah i wonder people at alfalfa yesterday thought i was stealing i got my first salad and it went horribly what do they say i ordered it online and well it's a nightmare there because they have a wall of pickup wall of stuff there's also a man who will call it your name so i thought i got there before it was ready it was my first salad there and i sat down i walked and i looked at the wall and all the names were like luke l i was like oh this luke l guy is hungry i had sat down and then i'd realized oh that's definitely the name of the guy that made it it's like oh i ordered the local salad

and so i went back to check i'd already been sitting there for five minutes and the lady had seen me sitting there she had seen me check and then so when i went back and now miraculously my salad is there and no other ones have come out and then when i grabbed it i grabbed it by the receipt on accident and so i ripped the receipt off and then walked out brutal and then right outside of the glass i go oh i probably need a fork for this so i turned around with it looked in the bag there was a fork and then i go oh perfect and then i walked away and is this a salad i want oh perfect it looked like i would like grab a random bag like check to see if it was something i would like and then like hustled off and then i realized how bad it seemed

so i kind of like picked up the pace and like start running like jogged away and i was like they definitely thought i just but they didn't say anything no but when i like looked back she was looking at me look through the thing and then i closed it there's no way they can like look at anything that's happening there because there's the wall and then the guy there's a lot and they got enough challenge to deal with take care of this man is kind of scary but you know that mask there's like money like theater how did you know money why is that a thing you know it's like a famous moment from history wait looking up remember remember the something in november right yeah i've heard that fifth of november wait looking at this guy yeah reminded

me of um i was doing thank you cards yesterday i'm just kidding no she's surprising him i had to look up my mom's friend for our wedding got us this god bless her she got us this hanging like photo of a saint and it just has flowers on it and i don't know who this woman is and i don't know what to do with it in my house and i've been like really putting off all the thank you cards because i don't know who it is or what to say about it and so you don't know who the saint is no are you hanging up she wrote it in like a thank you card and i've lost the card so i don't know who this young woman is who is on it and i so yesterday i took a photo of it to google reverse it to see who the saint is and i'm not kidding it like showed me just dozens of

images of this woman um that like people are selling like at even bath and body works like or not bath and body works um bed bath me i'm like as a as a portrait let me show you wait what's her name i don't know there's no it's not a saint i think it's just a painting of like someone liked but she thinks it's a saint because i remember her being like this is some saint who is the patron saint of like marriage or something like very sweet and it's like made in italy but i'm this image you can just buy at like a bed bath and beyond like for your wall let me show you picture of it right here so i sent it we'll put a picture of it right here and we'll put a picture of a oh yeah this is bed bath and beyond it's just this woman you can buy it at a bed bath and beyond

but the one she gave me a little shepherdess yeah google a little shepherdess 1891 wait what and then the one she gave me it's like covered in flowers and i'm like honey you can get this and she ordered it from italy i'm like this woman got played wait wait yes no go to that go to all go to all and then click that first wikipedia page yes is that it um is this is this different but same different but similar so what is her what does she stand oh try the young shepherdess down there where see also oh it's like a spin-off oh closer but like this exact this exact image you can like buy on several different sites so i think she just got played and someone told her it was a saint and she bought it from italy and i still don't have a name yes the back of it is

like it was made in italy the thing that she has but that thing she probably paid a lot of money i think so it feels like someone like a guy in a trench coat like opened it up and was like this is like no literally the young shepherdess and like coerced the patron saint of marriage and she was like that's what they need so now in the thank you note i just have to be like thank you for young shepherd this sweet shepherdess woman really appreciate it this saint oh bless here's a question how many people are your do you have to invite to your wedding because you're told by your family you have to but you don't know them or care that they're there good point um not that that's the case with this lady but a good amount no yeah this woman i actually know she's like one

of my mom's close friends there are like it feels like family like i guess family in general that you love but you don't you know you never see them so if you were to have like a dinner party some girl on tiktok was like your wedding should be like you shouldn't invite anyone that you wouldn't have at like a dinner party and i'm like yeah i'm not paying for this time if they wouldn't pick up your face time they should be at your wedding i was like most of my good friends would not pick up no literally my whole bridal party wouldn't pick up my face time if they were the middle of something i was like also i would never invite like my dad's best best friend to my dinner like that's just a weird clarification yeah that's weird but you need the money to pay

for the wedding sometimes so right yeah brutal i saw a girl and her husband or her fiance made an excel sheet and they ranked everyone they made a list of everyone that like could be invited and they had four categories and they ranked it and if they weren't in eight they didn't get invited and then they posted a video of it on tiktok no way can you imagine like stopping the video and being like i was a five six for looks barely made it willie and i went on chat gbt the other day and asked it who was hotter and it said that will is significantly better looking physically but that i'm in quotes the whole package that's insane so i'll take that it's a robot all it sees is images yeah it doesn't know it also gave me some of will's traits it

was like rusty's like mustache and mullet combo is like just irresistible or whatever will was like that's my thing i have my whole kind of personality mullet mullet elise are you in a book club or have you ever been no have you read books i haven't read book no michelle's my sister i need advice on my on my book club yeah how's it going it's getting too big it's getting far too big the club club's getting used to be yeah you know and like you know and like you what sorry no what were you saying you have molar than two people reading that weird nine people in the book who that's a good amount i feel like for me edge mott's page kate klossner chris powers uh and like maybe one other and it's the one that you do a chapter a

week yeah there are two chapters but now isn't everyone at like different points in the book because they're all having to catch up and we actually had to i was super excited to talk about chapter seven but page wasn't there yet so well then she gets out there should be rules yeah she gets cut page is also the our director of podcast and is definitely going to hear this so page read your book read your book page read your book um but it's getting like the bigger it can be more fun because then you have more opinions agreed but not when when it was just me and edge i there was nothing i said was wrong yeah but and now they're like moths is super well read on the subject and i'll like say i'll like make a point that i think is a home run and i'm like well

actually you know this is kind of how that went well when it was just you and edge that's just a friendship at that point that's just yeah that's not even a book that's teaching men what a friend is see this book that would be just you guys discussing common interest because you're friends but i think i need it i think eight people is like it probably good for a book club but yeah i mean that would get brutal with the i'd rather be a big fish in a small pond no that makes total sense than a fucking minnow and a moth eats me like a shark yeah i mean he but that's like it's it's not about the size of the book club it's about the size of the sharks you're bringing in that's a good point that's so true maybe i need to i need to bring in like some dumber guys yes

for sure get some homeless guys right now i'm in like the bottom 25 percent when you have these conversations is it zoom call thursdays thursdays over coffee oh you all you all go and get coffee we all get coffee and we talk about it oh that's cute and they all like do it freehand like i have to like bring my book with me to like read my notes they all like remember everything about it and that's frustrating then i'm the only guy walking around with a book i think that makes you look cool yeah i think having a book didn't you just say the other week that you have the appeal of reading a book is that so other people will see you 90 of the reason i read is because or i'll have to reread a passage because i'll be reading it and the whole time thinking about

how cool it'd be if someone walked in on me reading yeah but do you read in public too no yeah i read it i read at my desk in my room by candlelight very cool i think that there was a girl at a bar last weekend who was reading at the at a busy bar that to me is that to me is exhausting yeah no but it's just jealousy no no it's like a very it's a look at me thing to do oh yeah because i would never it was like withering heights and i'm like honey how are you this is sharkies go home yeah i'm like bar is bar is insane i even have that thought about people at coffee shops coffee shop i think is oh even in coffee shops every person that walks through the door i'm looking up like i i never end up reading past a page i feel like if i bring

a book my girlfriend i went to walk to coffee the other day and there was a guy reading his book and when we walked in he was on page one like i made i made a note of it and i was like oh that's cool he's like starting a book and then we were in line and i kind of said the same thing to her i was like get a load of this fucking guy like he's like like he's a real look at me movie he's like she was like he's just reading like leave him alone and then we when we left after 20 minutes he was still on like he had made no dent in it like he might have he was on like the table of contents and i was like he's just doing he's just sitting out there so that some girl sees the book and is like oh i love that book maybe it was his first book i'm gonna go read infinite i'm gonna

go read infinite jest at winston house until i get i'm saying that was the vibe until i get a girlfriend sitting at jameson's reading like a scroll it's like brutal what do you guys think taylor swift wore at the super bowl yesterday war yeah what what when this comes out like i don't know why why we were talking about the super bowler i'm like excited i think she wore i think she black skinny jeans boots that stop here and a chief's jacket that's like made out of his jersey i think she wore a huge hat like a derby yeah probably some sort of like the last week she was in like a louis vuitton situation i hated that yeah here's the thing not like i would die for each other stuff like number one fan but the

outfits like have not been quite for me serving lately right quite for me there was one i love you don't like the t on like the black bucket hat with the with the red fuzzy jacket did you see that red jacket i did like that stands for to will do you think it's do you think yeah she knows that these outfits are a little strange and maybe she's like catering to the people that are taylor swift fans where it's like i'm gonna dress like they would dress so that they can see themselves in me a little bit she dresses like she dresses like a like like your mom's friend no i think that's just her yeah honestly i also think when you get that level like you don't even know what's you can decide the trend yeah like you don't even know if no one would also tell you

that like i it would probably be really hard to pick what to wear because everyone's like that's amazing yeah you're surrounded by yes men yeah yeah i think if you and i became like billionaires we would have a hard time getting dressed in the morning because everyone around you is like dude yeah looks killer yeah it would be weird about being famous you got to have friends from like growing up for sure because otherwise it'd be really scary to know because even if like a celebrity is even if you're not trying to be someone who's like chases after celebrities you're gonna be if you if you run into ryan gosling you're not gonna be rude to him you're gonna be like so nice and like just because they're famous and you're like oh that's cool

so everyone no one's treating you like maybe maybe the answer is that blake lively used to be helping her with her outfits and now she doesn't have her advice wait why they broke up that's a whole bag of words yeah they're not friends anymore i don't understand that blake lively uh justin bell but i don't know blake and taylor i thought they're like best friends taylor's like distancing herself currently yeah that's what all the news headlines and tabloids and do you listen to that six minute voicemail that he left of course i did it sounds like every film bro i've ever it made me not want to be around oh it was six minutes and he's like you probably got he's like i know it's 2 a.m but like you probably got like a baby on your boob but like

what i just want to let you know like i'm so grateful for like this experience and like i just want to like be around you yeah he was like i can't wait to have all of you yeah every piece of you i was like oh wait i thought she did something they both are they both are freaks they're just being like no he's the freak no she's the freak it's like you guys are both if you look at all their text messages ryan reynolds too he's like just so you know we work as a team we always have always will and we're like it was like they all communicate like freaks imagine if your husband was like texting falvo that he was like um if you can get the dates push i'll have your line producers uh name tattooed on my

back for real it would mean the world like people are they're so weird like yours truly xo like ryan like to justin yeah i'd like to think that we would all stay normal if we got that level of success but i think we would turn pretty bizarre as well well as someone who's pretty much there i don't find it that hard to stay humble how did what are you like what do you tell yourself to like what is he doing what's on his phone i'm just like i love it when the notes app like has the most random shit all it says can i say it all it says is alvin or the chip it's like all right willie d's heating up what's about what's he what's he about to say that was a heat check for sure you gotta pick now have you seen i went to watch it last night and they

make you pick now what do you mean in what who makes you pick this was a dream this was a dream you had by the way on the dvd menu you have to i guess the file is too big for both now you have to pick a video game oh it's streaming dude that's what they'll do they'll split it right down the middle oh my no that was i was gonna bring that up because i went to my notes i have to be like i think i wrote something down for this episode and it was just me high on my couch last night i was like elvin or the chipmunks and i wrote that down i love just going through the notes i'm being like what the hell did i mean with this yeah what's that one can i see i mean this is just we're naked sundays oh this was um this is just a new thing i'm doing full frontal

in my yard on sundays um no because i was on i was on set no worries i was on set for a commercial yeah a working actor and there was a kid like giving me unsolicited like skin advice oh and i you know i had to pretend to be like oh i have well wait why was he doing that no he was just like the makeup one of the makeup people were like oh i love like your skin is great or something and then he was like just went on and on and then i do this and then i do this and then he was talking to me so then i had to pretend to be writing stuff down and i was and so i wrote down naked sundays the serum one oh is that that's like a brand he recommended so walking past edge he's like you coming over for naked sundays this weekend yeah it's just edge and i um i also

wrote down bubba's auto and i remember what this is about i was getting my hair done and the girl next to me was like um she's like yeah i go to this new auto shop and they had like um a party one night it was like a customer appreciation party and i went and like their whole family was there and she's like and now next week we're all getting dinner like she's in with her auto shop people i was like that's that's crazy but also kind of a good way i guess to get they had a customer appreciation party night and it was like open bar at the auto shop yeah that's awesome i don't know if i'm going though yeah you have auto shop all the time your car is breaking yeah my car breaks all the time yeah she put it on her calendar and she was like i wasn't missing and i

brought my she was like i brought my boyfriend and we went to bubbo's bubbo's bubbo's to compare or like to put the two together that feels like a like small town thing that doesn't really feel like an la thing yeah you got something that would happen like friday night yes yeah i was just thinking that notes app is kind of a funny here's this is like a show idea or maybe when we have guests on we make them take out their notes out i like that i feel like you can learn a lot about people all right let's read we're just messing up all we're learning we're working we're learning we're learning we're learning on the point the only thing i have written down is being the random guy in someone else's roller coaster photo i was thinking about this i have oh i love that will

has a photo in our office of like him and like his two friends or i always thought it was like him and his like squad and i i was like i don't really know that other guy but he's like smiling at the camera like fits right in like it looks like you'd be willie's buddy and i was like all right so that's scott that's lily who's that guy who's like leah leah and he was like i don't he just mixed up two of my asian friends hey that's not cool did i fuck that up is this how it happens is this how you get canceled seeing the moment and there's just another guy like smiling at the camera like having the greatest time ever and will was like yeah it's just a random guy and i have a roller coaster photo

in my i rode velocicoaster for the big first time over thanksgiving break no big deal and uh what's velocicoaster it's the scariest coaster in the world it's the fastest coaster in the world feels subjective it's so it i would think i would say most people would agree it's the scariest at universal oh and i was scared of roller coasters upside down and stuff it goes upside down your head like almost touches the water at one point like it's like legit but it's new so it's really smooth like some of the other ones like you're up like i got off hulk yeah like wanted to vomit but i was terrified of roller coasters my cousins were like we're getting over this today and what had always stopped me was my sister cara would always get in my head like the

whole ride there be like it's so scary dude and then everyone else we went without them it was just the cousins minus my sister and uh and everyone was like yeah it's gonna be awesome and they just put me in the right headspace and they didn't give me an option to get off like it was just like we're getting we just got in line and then you can't be the guy that leaves line so i i did it that's awesome this is recent over thanksgiving because i'm deathly afraid of roller like heights and roller coasters but so i'm always like i don't want to be left out so i i'm always like holding the lemonade for everyone when they go on yep and i am leaving line so i am usually the one leaving line i have a lot of memories of there was like one other kid in

my cousin's friend group that was also scared of roller coasters and we'd sit we'd sit with everyone's phones and just talk shit about them while they're gone it doesn't even look fun i was also very scared and owen wallace was loved him and it was like a big kind of rift in our relationship and then eventually i and they're awesome right i overcame it when i was like 10 or something and it was the best decision i ever made i almost like we got off elise and i was like oh i can't believe that's what i've been afraid of this whole time yeah but it is i like to go back to your original point i do like to think like this guy i look at this photo of me and my friends and this guy i don't know smiling every single day i like to think that somewhere in the

world there's someone who has a little picture of them and their friends and i'm just there smiling and they look at me every day i love that this guy's he's he's hanging on my desk am i we made we got a keychain version and my dad used it to like rig the like door of our like outdoor shower at our house so like everyone who uses our outdoor shower sees this guy too yeah he's like an integral part of like i think i'd recognize him if i saw him yeah i would recognize him every day yeah what if he's like what if like he kills a guy oh yeah that would it becomes worth something then you gotta get rid of that menendez brothers card yeah i've heard that at least it's like a famous basketball card of this guy on the knicks and in the

background the menendez brothers are just sitting courtside no way yeah it's worth like way it's like kind of like a i think he was a good player but it wouldn't be worth his mark mark jackson yeah it wouldn't be worth like nearly as much as it is now look at mark jackson in the back it was after they killed their parents they're sitting way they went on this like spending spree and they were boys are crazy courtside yeah look at these guys i go over to lauren one more they're just chilling they're like yeah so we killed our parents just like i'm gonna kill my dad would have gotten away with it too but eric had to fucking tell his therapist i always feel bad when like you people talk about players and like i guess they don't care but when they're like he's

not the best player right like i just feel like that would hurt my feelings and like it's so like it is what it is like you're either better than other people but like with sports when they talk about him on podcasts and they're like yeah well you know he's having a really bad year like whatever like he really fucked that up like i would just feel really sad if i was like but like it is what it is it is weird like the way that we're completely able to remove ourselves from like the human element like when it comes to my sports team i'll be like you're a fucking bum you're an absolute loser like i would never say that about anyone in my life you wouldn't like go into your bank and be like you've been fucking it up yeah like they could get my order completely

wrong at a restaurant i'd be like thank you this tastes amazing by the way i kind of wanted the eggplant parm anyways yeah we were talking about this the other day though we obviously not even nearly to the degree but like we have one of the only jobs where like your success or failure is like very public and like people get to like comment on it yeah like will you had a great day today or like yeah i i that is like people were like good episode out of you i was like i was just like hanging out i don't know and one thing someone will say about you could cripple yeah well that's the other thing i don't he read one negative comment on the there were hundreds of positive ones and then there was one one that was like i didn't really care for this episode

and it like he like ate him alive not even that mean it's just like wasn't for me and you're like oh kill myself yep i was yeah yeah that's brutal well at least i might say my body shaped weird oh people will say the smallest thing about your body and that's what's really stuff i've never thought about yeah so one time someone said i don't even want to say because it'll like be like yeah i just kind of see that so it was like why is her chin like that or something i was like my chin i've never even thought of my chin you're in the mirror i'm like oh my god they're like yeah why is your i think it was yeah why is her chin like that or like someone was like wear her lips and i was like what the heck what i'm like i can't i can't go down that road because

you mess with your chin you're zac efron and you just like make sure they're there you're like no i have them they have been there they were there or if you get like one pot you haven't changed anything about your diet or exercise plan but you've gotten like one positive comment you're like like yeah i'm doing the right thing you're like killing it i had eight beers today i'm not doing i need to not listen to these whatever i'm doing is amazing listen i was struggling with like feeling really groggy when i get up in the mornings kind of hard to get my day started on a good note sometimes caffeine can be too much makes feel a little gintery and what's not you know i feel like we live in california we hear all the

stuff about mushrooms everyone's finding like cool ways to do mushrooms that are cool well i think i found the coolest one mud water is the best way to start your day uh look you want to show them what you got right there i got it right there you take a scoop of that i put in my water uh sometimes i make a little latte i've got this whip now watch me whip that's just a little reference to a song um and yeah makes a great drink with functional mushrooms that don't make you jittery and they make you dialed up and locked in and productive so if you're sticking to your resolutions or just want to make a fresh start with your routine try it today and save big our listeners get up to 43 off your entire order free shipping and a free rechargeable frother head to mudwater mudwtr.com

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Right now, our listeners get an exclusive deal up to 43% off your order, plus free shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use code playdate that's right up to 43 with code playdate at mudwtr.com after your purchase they'll ask you how you found them please show your support and let them know we sent you keep your energy natural and refreshing all year long with mud water because life's too short for anything less than clean delicious energy all right guys we are here to talk about one of our new favorite partners dollar shave club it's no surprise that facial hair is personal it grows from your face we all grow it shave it and style it differently and we think that's pretty freaking great it makes us all more interesting

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And remember, whatever you shave, welcome to the club. Should we roadmap it up? Roadmap. All right, Elyse, this is the part of the episode where we are an hour in, but we tell people what the episode's going to be about. oh great okay i'm gonna go pee while you do it i hate it perfect all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we are gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches and then willie is

gonna do the permitting division of the building department which is at least if you're not familiar we you are familiar hell yeah uh yeah last or the episode that came out on wednesday so today uh the guy's dad installed a sauna with southern dad and i called him and told him it was too high and that we were gonna have to come sand it down and then i laughed and he goes who is this and then we're gonna do teach me something followed by this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today and then we're gonna do everyone's favorite segment sayings that don't exist followed by romantic comedies that don't exist elise are you how do you feel about the amount of segments i just said that we have left i feel excited and um i'm

nervous and i don't know you guys are kind of the master of these things so it's it's always hard to go up against and but i feel ready too like i'm a lot of emotions do you ever have a hard time explaining to people like that have like adults that have a normal job like what you do every day of my life imagine if part of your job was i come up with things that don't exist yeah i'm essentially an inventor yeah and i'm like oh got work tomorrow and people are like mining for coal oh yeah willie got a really wet ass i was wondering about that earlier is this all my sweat thing yeah well i'm always looking at us better i can't blame you what what was it so do do you know biking the the idea of it yeah the activity i was doing it today my bike to work oh

it is sweat and no no the it's wet you know it's raining that would be that would be and i get nervous around girls it's like and it's like green wait but why did you why did it get wet so when you ride a bike in the now i'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick when you ride a bike on the uh when it's wet out like it wasn't even raining that hard but like when you go through a puddle the back wheel like shoots it all up so it sprays up your back yeah so and if you go biking in the rain you always get shit all up your back lauren i don't have a bike here but i biked all the time i even brought my bike to college and i miss it but i just moved and we have a balcony now so i'm like

thinking of getting one why does that matter because i would have somewhere to put it like i don't want to just put it in my living room or my bedroom you know like i actually have like a spot but i love biking i never like i got a bike when i came out to california and i was like this is gonna be like my whole thing now because i'm and it was like a cruiser one that was the one i had it got stolen in like the first two weeks of college and i was like i guess that's not my thing anymore so i never really got into it but also like now on the east side i feel like it's not as much biking everyone bikes around here i and like by the beach like that's fun so i'd like to i feel like it would be hard in your i don't know it is like i would get scared of cars and stuff

i'm not a big biker or i'm sorry i didn't i wasn't a big biker and then i just it was necessity because i don't have a whip i want to get um i grew up rollerblading a lot and i want to get a new pair of rollerblades oh that's fun so fun just like down the boardwalk yeah is it easy to stop what do you mean oh pizza uh yeah well also they have like little like breaks on the back kind of so if you pop like put your heel up it's not yeah it's not that hard my dad was he did it every day my parents were here this past weekend and they every day he went out and rollerbladed that's so cool he's like a hockey player so he likes to that's cute that's funny wait did they bring a pick no he rented him you can i guess rent him down that'd be funny he like checks a

bag so we can bring his rollerblades one time when we're gonna ask me how it went how to go awesome let's go one one time i got almost not on my pants my dad rolled backwards down a hill or something rollerblading i was it was before i was born but i've heard the story we're talking about rollerblading and bike he was like rollerblading and he went backwards down a hill i think it fell in the woods oh my gosh yeah i think he fell in the woods my dad rode his motorcycle across the country you ever hear stuff that you're like that's not the same guy actually yeah is he tough as nails he's not like a motorcycle i've never even known that's just not his personality but i mean good for him it was like in college that's awesome yeah oh my dad

got a ticket one time on his motorcycle he was like going somewhere really late he was at a red light you know and like the both your dads were motorcycles until like i guess my dad had one too until like carol was born i think but uh yeah he had like one really bad spill and he sold his motorcycle and never got on one again but he was out of light and the sensor wouldn't pick it up and so he was just sitting there like trying to like get the light to recognize him because he didn't want to run red light i think like if he had just gone slowly it wouldn't have been an issue but he said he was like really frustrated so he like gunned it out of this thing and a cop pulled him over give a big ticket jeez yeah um it's still going what that was the longest it growled like so

loud mine's grumbling too it's so weird because it's like i gave you chili i already fed you it shouldn't be doing that i fed both of you yeah i mean the energy drink chili combo is not sitting at nine in the morning so scary um wait what the hell were you saying you were saying your dad rollerbladed oh yeah we were saying our dads rode motorcycles and you were talking about your dad who rollerblades i think is what i remember pretty sure i think what we gathered oh no i said this last episode but your dad owns a ham store yeah okay yeah i told you oh yeah he said there's no way i didn't say there's no way i just was i wasn't familiar with like brick and mortar ham locations it's yeah that was a honey bag do you know honey bag tam no we looked it up well i know

i knew it from the thing so it's like a part of a franchise you know but here's i think this almost fell out of her she thought she meant when when jesus when will said that your family owned a honey bag tam she thought you he meant the whole company and she got very very excited no yeah i was like whoa no whatever the opposite of that is so like just the one location in roanoke virginia the profits aren't as good but yeah just the one so they do like you know sandwiches catering so that was the is the bulk of the business obviously like the holidays you sell whole hams yeah but the rest of the year what what's keeping the lights on for a brick and mortar honey baked ham is it not much is it catering it's new catering yes like hospitals we

do like box lunches so it has like a sandwich you know a side uh cookies and a drink all like a canned drink it all fits in a box no like a potato salad pasta salad broccoli slaw like i could list them all off yeah i fix cookies this side so the cookies aside but yeah but normally it's like yeah the holidays are big and we do all the bone-in boneless spiral sliced hand glazed how many people go in them in the back too really yeah i mean i we used to get them they're great yeah my sister was like like they have t-shirts that say like master glazer and my dad's license plate was the ham man nice which just kind of looked like like dom or like because it was like d-a-h-a yeah the ham man everyone cheers when he drives by they're like

all right should we hear some pitches lauren oh yeah you want to hear some pitches lauren these are uh the playmates the playmates great send in we're like the sharks yes which by the way that's like a hot i meant to tell you guys that's like a hot name for your people like because it's kind of like the play playboy yeah we didn't think about that at the time there's a lot we blur the lines between like sometimes it's like a it feels like a children's thing and then other times it's not like our blonks i love them blonks blonks beautiful and our little guys all right so you get to you're the guest you get to pick which shark you want to be and then will and i have to pick after that oh i'll be mr wonderful nice i'll be randy damon yo dog all right first

pitch is from sean o'leary oh same last name yeah this is already going well sean says what about soul or what up soul i was thinking for a nickname soul soul yep yep what up fam here's my pitch what is the worst part about direction apps let's think about it what's the worst part about direction apps um sometimes i like map gets zoomed out and i get really flustered yeah it you have to go where it tells you to and you have no freedom okay sean says no games they don't tell no games no games to play while you drive they don't tell you the weather you're going to be expecting on the way to wherever you're going have you ever been driving or trying to drive somewhere and get caught in a storm because you didn't think to check the weather on the way to where you're going

this pitch would be to make a new app or combine the weather app and apple maps to show what good or bad weather will be coming during your drive wait that's awesome like you could see up oh there's gonna be yeah rain up there i like that a lot i like that a lot because it might slow you down you know yeah or if it's a like a snowstorm i mean i think this would be most helpful for like a road trip yeah yeah that would be concerning if you're driving to santa monica and it was like snowstorm on fourth yeah that's yeah for yeah i think in la that'd be fun if they they gave it you could drive you could like join parades so if you're on like a cross-country trip it's like a Parades happen in here.

You just like join the line. Such a different app though. I like that better. An app that just focuses on the parades that will be on your way. You guys would love that. Weather and parades. There needs to be more parades. Yeah.

Just for like whatever. You would love New Orleans. I found out when I was there that Mardi Gras, not one day. It's like a week. It's like a month, two months. I love that. And they do like parades almost every day. My friend Tatum is at Tulane, and she's very upset that they, for the first time ever,

they made spring break during Mardi Gras, so kids have to pick now. She's very upset. Oh. You know, we're going on spring break this year. I don't want to talk about it. Where are you going? Off to Bacardi, Le Mans, Corona. We are going to Fort Lauderdale with our friends from Bacardi.

That's fun. And we're going to go party up for spring break. That is. Which is pretty epic. Awesome. Yeah, I get to do spring break even when I'm way out of college. fort lauderdale there were kids because spring break happened during covid or covid happened during spring break for us and there were there were like a group of ragtag rollins kids that

got stuck on some island oh i think i remember that the school had to like pay for they just were on vacation for like the beginning of covid that's pretty cool geez um all right i love it let's hear another pitch learn thank you sean next pitch is from steven steven says howdy and good day to laura dog and the birkenstock boys i hear the boys talking a lot about how that wait what the hell i hear the boys talking a lot about having to ghost someone and how bad they feel afterwards so what if for the record i said your girlfriend no i said i've never done it willie said he's done it many times i did but he said it feels bad yeah i i don't i like not in a while like i feel i don't feel good about it but yeah no but i think it's it happens yeah when you don't

want to talk to anyone anymore and you hope you never see him again yeah yeah but you might and that's what's brutal about it yeah but it's not like crazy like it's a normal part of life to some degree yeah thank you what if there was an app that you could use powered by chat gbt which would do all the ghosting for you with going ghost if you had a bad date or lost interest in a perspective relationship you could plug their number into the app and all of their texts would forward there to be read and used as prompts so the app could delicately and politely decline any messages from this person how easy would that be the page here would even work on family members no more having to excuse yourself from your drunk aunt's church invites or your weird cousin's

request to hang out going ghost i think that's great that is that is so funny i'm over this one i'll plug that in but i guess you don't you would have to be you don't know what it's gonna say because you don't you'd have to put a lot more oil more oil yeah if there's a glitch they would be very confusing to the other person you know sometimes it'll say like sent with siri like if someone sends you a text that way it'll it's like breaking up with them and it's sent it's like sent with what's it called going ghost sent with going ghost and you're like oh okay i saw a thing on reddit that was like some girl posted like it was like am i overreacting or something and it was like her boyfriend's message for her birthday was clearly from chat gpt i love that and it was like

really sweet she's like i know he didn't write this i know this is chat gpt like why would he like a heartfelt why did he do that yeah like he got her something nice and like everything was good but he clearly just when the memories are like vague too and we've had such grand memories like weird descriptors for what the memories are my favorite time with you is hanging out in the house um oil need for joints it would be brutal too since they're doing it slowly like if the message is sent by it says that sent by ghost whatever and it's like yeah we'll see about saturday i'll let you know and it's like oh god it's beginning one minute before on saturday it has timers for everything that's brutal yeah i like it all right who wants to hear the best

pitch of the year oh i'm excited uh what is the worst part about uh setting deadlines for yourself or like having things to do you have a to-do list and like you have to get stuff done i think like knowing that i probably won't do it till right at the end exactly or you might not even do it all together and you just give yourself the pass introducing the headmaster it is a robot that acts like a headmaster from like a very strict school and you put in what you have to do and it says if you and when you need to get it done by and if you don't get it done by the deadline it will discipline you accordingly and if you do is there like any sexy element to it no i realized that the headmaster was a confusing name because that's

what they called me in high school right you're the best at getting it or giving it what both no i just i used to wear dresses like delores umberge that guy will so good at getting head so good um you just know how to receive and if you do if you do do it it uh it rewards you accordingly okay so it's like so then it could be the headmaster it could be the headmaster you're like i need i need to get this paper done by this time and if i don't i need a five out of ten like punishment whip it ass is it like would it float like actually be a robot in your home okay it would float too and you can for an extra for an extra couple hundred bucks you can make it look like your like principal or headmaster so it's like it's real dude i think i mean i would

not do the extra money mr shay is in the corner he's like you know i'm professor umbridge yeah of course and she's like mean yeah look up do you know that's a word umbridge yeah umbridge all of the thing i didn't know this was when i was a kid she just looked up like greek like greek word for this and then just made that the spell really yeah like all of them umbridge is a word that means what is it offense or annoyance it's a noun yeah verb oh like that's an oh i don't know she's the worst it deep down you know you are right so you big harry potter to be disciplined people aren't gonna like this i've seen all the movies i haven't read any of them i haven't either i read the first but i was like obsessed with the movies but what's funny is like my whole

family was a loved love loved all the books like they've read them all a million times whatever maybe it was the most recent one where spoiler alert like the when harry didn't actually die oh oh sorry should have warned me okay um i was like in the theater when i thought he died sobbing sobbing like oh my that's how they're gonna end it and like of course everyone in the theater had like read the books and like no one was like emotional at all i was like tears but it was kind of fun to be on that ride for the first time that's what like i'm i know the movies back to front but there's a lot of harry potter trivia that's like only in the books like stuff you would only know if you read the book yeah and so like i don't score well on the tests

i uh my dad read him to my brother and sister like before the movies ever came out and they always said hermione and so they went to see the first movie he read it that way yeah like you would read them to them when they were little it was just the book so like no one really knew and then is hermione a real name it's such a good name i mean isn't it weird how things just become a name i'm like yeah hermione is that do people name their kids that night definitely not maybe oh okay that's good i can live with that her mind i mean how many you know someone out there lebron there's probably a similar amount of lebrons as there are hermione's but these are my kids lebron and hermione i figure either way they could there could be

some success here i would have a boy and a girl named lebron and hermione is the really good basketball player and lebron's showing some prowess and spells the spelling of hermione is like gorgeous but yeah when you say it it's like i don't want to be your dad read that out or my dad thought it was hermione and he would read the books my brother and sister be like hermione like the first like i think there was like three or four books out before the first movie that's so funny he's sitting in the theater like oh yeah i think like literally i think they were like we're gonna go see it and they're in the theater like oh mess that up yeah do you have a pitch or do i do a pitch um so i have one but you can you do yours okay all right what's the worst part about

ordering a bagel too much cream cheese um i want to make sure it's salty enough you every place has like their own like name for it like sometimes i'll be like i'll do everything with chive the guy's like you mean scallion and multi-seed with scallion uh yeah no ordering like the worst part is that sometimes i'm like i kind of want everything i kind of want uh like a siago or like a blueberry like a cinnamon raisin anyway i think they should make double-sided bagels so it's you can get like can i do like half everything half blueberry don't you think the scent and like essence of the everything would get on the blueberry well they're no it was like the bagel shop you start crying

you come on my podcast one second one second get the bagel shop throw up and come back all right at least your pitch um that feels like the bagel shop in my school like didn't it was clear they weren't cleaning the knives because you'd ask for regular cream cheese and the little hint of strawberry in there and you're like oh that's brutal i love it willie what would what's the first bagel you would get a half everything half asiago what kind of cream cheese so good regular on both yep i do blueberry with jalapeno a little sweet and spicy action yeah if the essences aren't mixed yes yes i love you guys all right pitch us elise um okay so this is kind of more like something

that like couldn't really like actually exist you know because it's not we're high level okay okay um this is oh okay wait let me ask you what's the worst part about being in a conversation with someone where you don't know well i'm just telling you what the worst part is okay what's the worst part about not having good movie knowledge one second he got something in his eye oh oh i'm gonna fight through it continuously in his eye all right continue lisa i'm sorry oh god no i'm sorry are you okay oh that's strong i'm gonna get so buzzed now though he's seeing things like a mile away superman fell into the vat of like whatever and he got all his powers that's brutal he hasn't seen anything i haven't seen it at least

tell me that yeah what's the worst part about what's the worst part what's the worst part about not knowing much about movies oh that's perfect uh you live in la and everyone makes you feel an idiot for it but i feel like it'd be normal anywhere else yes okay thank you i agree um so this is called quickie wiki okay and this is like when you're talking to someone and like have you ever like lied and they're like oh and you know that scene and whatever and you're like uh-huh and then they like keep talking to you about it for a while and you're in trouble because you really didn't know that thing and you can't go back and be like i don't know what that is so this is like the second that someone names a reference you don't know you can freeze time

and it's just a little screen above your eye that gives you like the gemini like sum up of what it is and you can i guess like you would have maybe until you blink or something you could read it and then you can blink and then it goes back and then you can be a part of the conversation i like that a lot um just because that's how that could be we just that could exist we just gotta get like google glass yeah yeah maybe glasses you could wear or something yeah the freeze time aspect though that part's tough we haven't figured that out yet we'll get there we will get for sure do you think in our lifetime like time travel or like teleportation will be a thing not in our lifetime no no cut to next week they got it cut to uh neck yeah next week we're coming back here

to okay if it's if time travel is a thing in our lifetime i'm gonna show future me and you are going to show up right now and i am going to be this is like god ugly one of us is goth there you can do it but there's such severe consequences you show up you have like a huge swoop over your eyes you've boils shut up this podcast is so stupid we're kind of time traveling because this will come out post super bowl that's true insane ending happy for the chiefs though three be very cool incredible i can't believe taylor and travis are sure that they're engaged on the field oh tongue um all right do we want to do our building department thing no okay oh we're not i'll do it i just said it wasn't really scary for you i hate it i get so nervous he loves it when

it's not him though i i can't know last week his face was like where you're no i couldn't even i plugged my ears i like can't hear it well do you want to do the one um do the porch the guy took the railing off his porch all right uh my husband recently built an outdoor shower and he's been so stressed because he didn't pull any permits you can totally call him okay here we go please leave your message I'll leave the message hi uh this is michael with the permitting division of the building department uh just wanted to check in it's about uh an outdoor shower that i believe is installed on your property

we've just gotten a few complaints uh it is not up to city code uh there's too many holes on the nozzle uh you can't have that many streams of water leaving the nozzle at one time it's a safety hazard for a lot of the local reptiles and amphibians so if you don't mind just give me a call back uh we can either shave a few holes off the nozzle or uh we'll just uh fine you thousands of dollars all right thank you sir take care shave a few holes off the nozzle fine you thousands of dollars all right that is so scary if this other girl sends uh the number by the time we're done we can call it i thought that was no no that was really so scary i'm really good i got a good job do you like the nozzle part that was really funny in the reptiles and

amphibians in the area where do they live like this podcast is brought to you by twisted tea twisted tea is a refreshing hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and five percent alcohol guys it tastes like real iced tea because it's made with real brewed tea real brewed tea with a kick five percent abv it's full of flavor and it's very very refreshing it goes down smooth and there's no carbonation which makes it easy to drink all day long twisted tea is the perfect alcohol beverage to keep the good times going all day long whether you're hanging out at a friend's house at the bar on a weekend getaway or just looking to let loose twisted tea is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time

a great time twisted tea has been a part of my life for a long time going back to my college days i remember my roommates once went uh for halloween as the boston twee party very popular because we were in boston too dressed like george washington they threw twee out the window uh we would get bags of twee and consume it and it was always very fun uh i think it's like the perfect beach drink uh which is i'm looking forward i mean i guess i could go to the beach and drink it now it's a little cold uh so i'm looking forward to the summer i'll tell you that guys grab a refreshing twisted tea today spin it on your finger like a basketball whatever it takes have a great day and make it greater with twisted tea let's get back into the episode all right would

you guys rather at least you're the guest you get to pick would you rather start with this guy rocks or teach me something this guy rocks did you do one yeah oh but i need to find the link this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey well this guy rocks all right pause this immediately okay wait can i use your um phone for your tiktok because you know i don't have my phone now oh also if any listeners want to sell me their phone that has tiktok oh you deleted it yeah um oh you can like download a vpn i think that's what someone said but then i heard that it like wasn't working for people oh shit i'm at can you use his because i'm a two percent negative okay yeah we can look it up on the on the turn too it's just okay this is a gentleman who is doing stand or uh slam

poetry and he's got some stuff on his mind i think he's a little frustrated with you know the state of um you know his town and just you know the country as a whole so let's hear what he's got i say look at my hands damn i'm white as fuck like cry when i'm eating talkies white like summer when it's not even summer white like short shorts cross-country runner white shit i'm so goddamn white that i could blend into the snow but the other snowflake kids i know toss around words like stones the kind that break bones a b c d n n words get thrown as if those expressions are their own and i feel alone i watch my white teachers tornado my best friend into a downward spiral the racism raining in the classrooms dampening his delicate dreams so we turn to

the drugs and i haven't seen him in so long that it seems like forever but most of the time i make light about being white but not about my colors impact on others isolated from our brothers and sisters entitlement and titles like ma'am and mister stepping on our equals and it's making our feet blister while alabaster activists do a lot more act in the action what alabaster That's actually the name of the shade Of my Of my foundation Wow that was powerful

I like the Part where he said a bunch of stuff that's white At the beginning I like when he said you can blend in with the snow Yeah Alright I select you mine What did you think about that Willie I liked it I liked the part where he said all the stuff that was white

Elise Any thoughts i like his nirvana shirt learn i actually i like this cadence i want to i was gonna say he had a good i'm white as fuck performance i'm white as fuck hey i'm white as fuck she it was brave it was brave um i'm willie d i'm white as fuck oh i come straight out of the mud oh all right willie set this up for us what's going on i don't know you just gotta watch it says my french horn is ruined okay so i just got locked out of the gym uh and it started to rain and i have my french horn so uh kind of freaking out right now but yeah you can't okay that's it i have my french horn

the plead for help is the only thing you can think of is like i need to get this out on the internet yeah also someone needs to let me like a airtight case those cases are indestructible so kind of freaking out right now so apparently i'm in the french horn this is my favorite comment i remember being like this kid glad people like this are still dropping it is like kind of a nice check-in with you right sometimes i get worried so uh poor anthony knows something listen to him um can i i'll oh yes please or do you want to do it on there i can try to google whatever oh yeah it's on tiktok you could google um cassandra bowman guinea pigs have you seen this because i know because we're big fan etc okay wait what

kenny biggs guinea pigs i think it's like um sorry i should have sent this but again the tiktok situation this kid is so funny it might be like yeah they're the most popular one that this person has yeah that yeah click that first one hello this is karen who's this hi annie this is cassandra bowman we have um a few animals that are in route to your house right now but we needed vocal confirmation because what wait rj two animals coming here get over here what are you talking about so basically come here oh you fucking asshole are you kidding me i'm gonna put you on speaker okay listen to this we have um three pigs and two llamas, also

throwing in a free bonus animal, which would be an ox. What the fuck are you doing? I wanted No, no, no, no, no, no. No. Okay, so I don't know what the hell he's doing.

Okay, so we don't want any of that. How can we rectify? What the? Come on, RJ! No! Okay, well, this could be a bad time to throw this in as well because we also have nine more ducks

on the way and then we also have a brown and a white and black cow okay Cassandra and you're I know RJ had also ordered two horses but those are being delayed right now

how much are the two horses? that's going to be monthly how much are the briefly considered the horses 96. Can we cancel that, please? Yeah. Oh, fuck.

Every single one of them is going to need a rabies vaccination because we figured out in route that one of the ducks is infected. This is not a farm. This is like a house. I don't know what he was doing. RJ said that this was an animal sanctuary. Get your ass in here. It's not an animal sanctuary.

It's a residence, and he's trying to make it into an animal sanctuary. wait how did you find this like yeah he he even gave me um a zin i don't know what did he give you oh that's a zoo identification number he got one for your house wow yeah this is a whole new level the animals are coming the animals are coming you guys at least have a fenced in backyard no okay so when they arrive there is going to be just a period of limbo four or five days where we just cannot get to them just because we are based in los angeles um so essentially for those four to five days the horses the pigs the llamas the oxen and all the ducks they're just gonna be there i'm in shock right now okay i really holy like whoa

yeah so i guess we call animal control to have them that's an option because the pigs have aids It's so insane. That's really the end of it. How does she believe it? Also, this guy's real voice is like your voice. I've heard it. It's insane. Crazy.

Dude, the funniest part about this is she's like, this is not an animal sanctuary. this is a thing that rj is trying to do like he it almost feels like the kid like submitted it as a prank call but like also wants this to happen oh so the kid submitted it yeah this is the thing he's trying to do that's fucking hysterical so funny that's so good all right should we teach each other something yeah teach me something elise start us off okay so this is just a general subject that i kind of learned about like last year very cool um honey laundering you familiar with this so you know we're all familiar with money laundering correct yeah but you know like the ozarks yes um so basically how you know like it's really like the price of honey is really

expensive and i guess it's really hard to find i guess most of the honey that's in stores is not real honey like it's a real problem that they have because a lot of countries are shipping it in and diluting it with like high fructose corn syrup or whatever because it's so hard to get honey and then they sell it as like a super they it started with china and they were shipping it to like they would ship it through like uh kind of like a middleman and then they would say that it's from there but it was like still coming from china so it looks like it came from like amsterdam exactly and it's like actually whatever so they were basically misrepresenting it in order to bypass tariffs trade regulations and sell inferior products at higher prices um but it's

like what's crazy is there's actually a honey mafia in italy like this is a real thing people are going to jail for because they'll steal hives and stuff too and then so there's like two problems people stealing hives and there's oh i want to remember the name of indrangheta is the mafia in italy that like indrangheta which is like oh in calabria and they were they were like the main people who are importing honey from like china and then selling it as like italian honey or whatever um and so now the u.s customs and border protection is like majorly cracking down on it which i think is such a funny job to be like yeah we're really like in charge of the honey trade is this related to like bees dying i think it has to do with that because it's harder to get honey or whatever but

yeah people are like there was a like an uh article of these guys like in like chained up for like like they're in for honey laundering which i just thought that's funny funny funny honey laundering yeah the i think the funniest part about that is behind bars yes behind bars correct yeah um you never stop the stealing hives part is so funny because it's like unless they have some like apparatus that can like contain the bees like there's just a guy running through your field with your hive he's like ow ow yeah yeah they like pull up trucks and then they were like doing it at night what did they have to do like a sting operation you're insane you don't stop i don't i can't i can't all right teach us something willie uh do you know owls ears are at different heights

why because then they can hear more specifically where things are coming from that's crazy they've got ears like here so then they can locate like that thing's like exactly there whoa instead of hearing everything on the same plane they look pretty they look pretty even to me but they're not find out look on that one two to the right learn look up owl ears each one they're from the one you're on perpendicular it could not be more square look up owl ears i that's what's in the search bar oh then look at what's the first dude owls look what's the first thing that comes up word wise asymmetrical all right there should be more owls in like horror movies because they're really scary

and they are really scary yeah um okay that's crazy i still don't fully understand how that would help but i'm done um all right i'm with it that's a new thing i'm trying to say i'm with it yeah they got buzzed are you guys familiar are you guys familiar with somerset england no it's a small town in england and uh recently a 9100 year old skeleton a human skeleton was found in this cave in somerset england and it was like preserved enough that they could do dna tests on it and this guy adrian target target uh is just a school teacher in that town and he's a direct descendant of this guy 300 generations in the future isn't that crazy how do they figure that out uh i guess they probably put it through like some sort of database wow any relation to

the current target i don't think so that's tough i don't he's the heir to the target he's like like his family didn't migrate more than like a couple miles from where yeah this guy was 300 generations i've already destroyed my family's legacy and bloodline by moving here right when you're not going to get married so the good denali name's gonna die yeah i want to be the last one to have it how do they find dna that's what i'm wondering that's really crazy it's the same thing as like they found a woolly mammoth that was like preserved preserved enough that they're gonna breed it that dna with elephant dna and create another woolly mammoth that's like what they did in jurassic park and i can't do herds of elephants are reappearing in africa that's a good

sign really crazy for the first time they can't jump elephants only man only mammal that can't jump that doesn't surprise me that was a trivia question a trivia i guess how would you how would you get them to try i don't know like if someone studied me and you for years like i don't think i've jumped in a while oh yeah true like maybe they just don't want to yeah because they're huge like i've shown no evidence that i can yeah like how do they tell them jump maybe they just know what none of them have tried it i really think that's not a real i'm sure they could if they understood english at the bar where you don't drink yeah it was good on you thanks what are we in february now did either oh yeah well then are you gonna relapse i still have i think i'm

gonna plan he has a planned relapse well it's february now it's a super bowl yeah exactly What's going to be your first drink? That's going to be good. You're going to get freaking hammered. A beer. Really? Do you think your tolerance has gone down? I think it does.

Liam said his does. How long did Liam do? He did like two weeks. Not long. He didn't drink for like one day. When you're drinking at that level for so long, I think it's different. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't know. I discovered a way to double the effects of your beer last night on accident. it's called liquor you know you know you know rick gave me those zip ties yeah where is oh my god were you like choking yourself out so i i hung myself in the closet and if you have the right amount of pacificos you get hammered so rick gave me these zip ties to uh tighten my bed frame because i the middle like things fell out and so i'd like fasten them to the whole thing but i didn't want to take the mattress all the way off so i just opened the mattress and crawled under and held it up with my head while i did them like this and it like stopped all the it did something

i either stopped all the blood flow or whatever i came out like super light-headed and it literally felt like i was hammered that's crazy put a mattress on your head try it everyone at home everyone at home stop pause the podcast right now put your mattress on your head alcoholics hate this new bag it's like you see all the crackers down on the beach or all of mattresses on their heads. Are you guys playmates? Yeah, I love your guys' stuff. All right, Elise,

again, you're the guest so you get to pick. Would you rather finish up with sayings that don't exist or rom-coms that don't exist? First. We're going to do both, but what do we do first?

Yeah. Let's do some rom-coms. I love it. Willie, tee it up. These are rom-coms that don't exist. Taylor and the Taylor. So a woman named Taylor

is getting married and her fiance is this horrible guy. And the only person she can vent to is her tailor, the person fitting her wedding dress. And so she's telling him like over, you know, the span of a couple of weeks, like all the horrible things he's done to her. And the guy holds his tongue because it's not polite to tell someone that they shouldn't marry someone. And then, uh, when he's doing his final, he keeps like fucking up on purpose. So he has a chance to like keep seeing her. And when it can't go any longer on their final meeting, he confesses how he feels for her. And he tells her that she

shouldn't marry this guy and they run off together and fall in love that's i like that i like that a lot also but what young eligible hot tailors are there yeah i think they're all like six-year-old jewish men at least the best ones do you have a tailor yeah there's a guy in west hollywood that uh was fitting me for my for a tux a couple months ago and like literally you have to hold your breath that's brutal brutal wow all right what do you got willie or elise oh um okay this is sleepless in des moines madeline madison is a big wig doctor in new york city who specializes in insomnia when her grandfather passes away and leaves her with one of the biggest farms in des moines she's less than enthused but after one trip to the farm and meeting the handsome stable

boy she may be changing her name to dr doolittle also i came up with this by the way like this it sounds i just got it to sound really good and btw a little sleeplessness never killed nobody because they're having a lot of sex right with the stable boy yeah and then she's gonna maybe do that i don't know how the insomnia versus i started writing it thinking sleepless meant you can't wait you you can't sleep oh no no i started thinking that it's when you're falling asleep during the day a lot and then i realized that's not that's the opposite so i had to i had to change my whole thing uh what is sleepless in seattle about it's like a late night radio host who does like segments at night i think i'm back to sleepless in seattle and there's like a woman

a guy who calls in i think the woman is the radio i haven't the woman is the radio this is real sleepless in seattle is real no i i thought that was a fake plot that's the real yeah like she's i think a late night like radio host and he calls in and then they like fall asleep and she but she's engaged and then they fall asleep like fall asleep they fall in love over the air don't fall asleep they both fall asleep the movie's really boring they sleep it is boring it actually is boring okay i've got uh will you marry me this is about uh these two this guy this guy and this girl get on this ferris wheel and they're both alone and then the ferris wheel has a malfunction about a quarter of the way up uh and so it's some sort of big technical error

and they have to very slowly over the course of hours and hours uh let one cart off at a time and they were just like a quarter of the way up so they have to still have to go all the way around so over the course of the day they're just stuck on this ferris wheel together waiting for their chance to get off because it's broken and they get to know each other and they fall in love and at the end he proposes he says will you marry me that's beautiful yeah i actually love that it's an easy shoot too yes love is in the fair talk about tyler it sounds like it's got his name all over it falbo yep i thought he quit i mean too tall i haven't seen him in a while actually yeah they have a height thing here right yeah um they take a few inches off the top

shave them shave them down shave them down my my next one is love is a battleship high to the cold war russia so different than taylor so different than taylor and the taylor russian a russian sub is getting hunted by an american sub and the two technicians are kind of like taunting each other through like morse code sonar and then it kind of like turns like flirty whatever uh cold war ends they both kind of leave and forget about it the american guy's at a bar and he hears this russian guy telling people about this guy that got away he was like this really awesome rapport with this man and we were you know communicating over sonar and then the war ended we never got to see each other again and he overhears it and says that was me

and then they fall in love i like that a lot that's fun i only had one other one but this is really not i only did three as well there's not much flushed out here this is just i was on the b train so it was b mine the b train is that in la no like yeah are you being serious i was talking about the the when i was teaching you guys something about honey oh i thought it was like i thought that's what it was as well i was on the classic b train at the grove i was like when were you on the b train which is made for a second i thought it was like a like a metro line or something that was like the most fearless maybe you i think the b train there's like a really elaborate metro system um that's so frank i don't get what the buzz is all about you amaze me

um yeah i was so i was thinking about that so this is two beekeepers meet at a farmer's market and sparks fly like like the bees do and when honey but when honey is so dumb so when honey is valuable and there can only be so many players in the honey game relationship oh i love how i put relationships will be tested and just just gave up so something there yeah i like that um hornet horn wasp maybe they get really hornet they're definitely gonna get horny hornety yeah definitely and they're in their suits they're beekeeping suits which makes it like they can't get to each other yeah i like that love stings oh that would be the little you can't yeah and it would have a b like dot dot dot dot dot love stings yeah um that's gorgeous

i've got uh spoken for uh you're really on wheels this time elise is really into bees you're really on wheels we're just malfunctioning a guy gets hit he's riding his bike and he gets hit and one of the spokes of the bike goes flying and hits a pedestrian in the face and they fall in love and he pulls it out of her on the sidewalk is this post coital

right after the act he pulls the spoke out of her and she says just kiss me this woman is desperate he's like uh what I just hit you with my bike just kiss me Kiss me, you idiot.

Just kiss me. Your bike's inside of me. Just kiss me. Ew. It's brutal. Man, I like that. I like that a lot. And what else happens with it?

That's it. They get married. It's like a short film. My last one is called Coat Check. This guy works as a coat check at a bar. This beautiful woman comes in. They kind of have a brief exchange. She gives him her coat, and then she goes to party.

she faints in the middle of the bar the paramedics come and she goes into a coma and he visits her every day while she's in the hospital and he's like i wish i just you know had asked you out on a date or something before you went into this horrible coma and then she wakes up and he gives her um what's that crazy dome he gives her when she's the headmaster when she wakes up when she wakes up he brings her a coat and she says she was going to ask him for his number when she got her coat back but she unfortunately went into a coma and then they get married that's awesome she just fainted in the bar i've got she needs to eat it flush with love uh this guy has like his old grandmother's ring that he's going to propose to his future's wife for and

he actually drops it in the toilet and flushes it and so then he has to chase the drain and find where the drain lets out like i'm finding nemo it's like he goes to like the drain factory whatever the drain factory and then some work at the drain factory had found the ring and had actually already put it on herself and then he meets her and she's so pretty that it says we can leave it right where it is and they get married his poor other girlfriend or fiance what happened no he wasn't he just had it like for when he finds the right girl he was like his mom's something yeah it was like a heirloom yeah um all right should we do sayings that don't exist oh yeah this is i'm excited i think i came i think i'm back this week these are sayings that don't

exist not watering the plant and blaming it for dying like if you don't take care of a relationship or something and they leave it's not their fault it's yours for not nurturing it amen that's deep you going i like that oh oh yeah popcorning we do one each um i don't know which one to do um one of the ones do the first one okay oh but this is i saw this on a book so maybe either one okay um did you make sure there's not a duck under the goose this is when you don't want to get played so make sure that you know all the information before you go in so you don't end up with a duck under the goose something smaller than what you know because the duck is smaller than the goose like you make sure like you check in with all your options make sure there's not a

duck under the goose right i like that yeah thank you uh doesn't take a sailor to know when the boat's sinking nice oh that you know sometimes someone someone will i don't know like when you're at sea yeah no no no no it's like like someone is saying that you're not qualified to give advice doesn't take a sailor to understand the boat i like that a lot i yeah i don't know why i couldn't deliver it's like if someone's saying that you're not qualified to give advice on it if it's something super obvious anyone could be qualified right yeah um if that makes sense no it makes perfect sense that was like one of the better ones you've done i know and then i just got flustered you you like immediately went to like the literal meaning like well if you're at sea

if you're at sea wait no you're not at sea stupid stupid stupid ah um you don't have to be an expert to have an opinion on something right yes if you stay in the shower too long it might get cold sometimes you have to realize when you know a good thing has gone on long enough and if you try and do it too long it might turn sour i you know it's funny i was also trying to think of sayings while in the shower because i was doing my last one in the shower i'm like a shower soap yep cold i had one about like sometimes you gotta let the shower heat up before you step in it or something yeah yeah but i didn't um this one i actually i saw this was like a title of a kid's book but i thought it could be a saying um she thinks she's the camper and the counselor

as someone who just plays all the roles like she thinks she's the expert she's just like whatever yeah but not taking accountability yeah the camper too yeah she wants to be the camper too she so she have a foot in both boats no she thinks she's the camper and the counselor yeah yeah uh you don't always hit the worm on the first bite so you know when you try something and it goes well that doesn't mean like it's good for why am i not being able to explain these at all sometimes you're not going to immediately know whether something is wrong and it takes a little bit of testing it out and trying it out eating to find out so yeah you know you can't always trust your exact first impression like if you bite into an apple there could still be a worm

further in it yes uh this one sucks i just want to preface that uh waiting for someone else to hit the crosswalk button sometimes you need to yeah take control of the situation don't wait for someone else to do it for you you got to just do it amen i only had two cool can't drink your coffee the night before okay you can only be so proactive that's a good one you gotta wait I love that Alright those were sayings that don't exist Yep Elise what do you want to tell the people before we head out of here

Oh my gosh Um New AFTV YouTube coming this week Or I guess the first one Okay watch our last AFTV YouTube Oh is that the Kyle Rittenhouse one Yeah Are you really

So scary Watch the AFTV from last week and we have a new one coming this week every Thursday and come see show with the growlings every sunday and and we can now well oh yeah and we've got um check out the website because check out the website and the socials because we've got four new shows coming up in march some live shows in uh some cities near you pittsburgh toronto boston and arlington arlington va hometown show yeah oh so wait we have to do our last segment whose personality oh yeah is this a wednesday episode or is this a monday episode how do you not know i don't know what we wednesdays okay who's lauren whose personality

did you steal last weekend wait i don't want to start you start whose person wait i don't understand how we're gonna do this i don't know someone commented that we have to do it this is you guys what's the person we can't say whose personality we already stole for recording this before i'm stealing patrick mahomes personality because i'm gonna get that dub this weekend all right i am going to steal i'm going to steal a choir boy's personality perfect because because i'm going to be on my best behavior in nashville this weekend cut to cut to him like humping the table at dinner we had a we were well and i were ghost hunting and the woman told us the reason that they put tablecloths all the way down to the floor

is because the legs were too sexy and that all the boys were obsessed with the legs. What? Boys used to hump tables. That's real? She said that? She said it. I don't know if it's real.

She also, in the same breath, told us she can teleport through the dimensions of time and space. Yeah. Okay. And then she went right out the window. Yeah. That's awesome. I'm going to steal the personality of a kitten this weekend.

Or maybe just a normal cat. Because I'm going to be really meek and chill and what does make me make chill meek like um when you're like kind of shy yep and not because like my brother's coming to town this weekend it's i know it's going to be a little rowdy and i'm going to try to not be like annoying and i'm going to be like kind of mysterious right and only talk to people like i want to and immediately leave if i don't want to talk to them like just be like very chill and like a cat love that i love that is younger brother younger brother So he's like in his like

How old is he? 22 Wow Is he in college? No, no He's one year younger than me He turns 23 on the 16th Yeah, yeah

Happy birthday, Brian Then he'll be the same age as me My brother is on the 13th My brother is on the 13th I'm on the 13th Your birthday is the 13th? Of May February

Whoa My brother's birthday is on February february 13th we should introduce them they would love each other but my brother's 31 they would hate each other oh my god they would hate each other they're gonna hate each other no so yeah i'm gonna be really chill and mysterious chilling chilling i love it all right thank you so much for coming on thanks for having me at least we'll be on every wednesday now welcome excited for that all right have a great rest of your week and a good weekend and we'll see you guys on monday nope see you guys on wednesday jesus have a great day today tomorrow

and we'll see you on Wednesday. Love you.