Will & Rusty's Playdate - fake curb your enthusiasm plots w/ liam cullagh

Episode Date: July 23, 2025

Liam Cullagh is back on the pod for an in-depth conversation with Will and Rusty on Star Wars, getting rage-baited by your parents, and how to face scary thoughts when you’re alone. The guys also share what their producer tags would be, learn about the top baby names, and draft more Curb Your Enthusiasm plots and Harry Potter-themed cocktails that don’t exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: UPGRADE YOUR WARDROBE AND SAVE ON @TRUECLASSIC AT https://www.trueclassic.com/PLAYDATE #trueclassicpod USE OUR CODE FOR $20 OFF YOUR FIRST SEATGEEK ORDER*: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/PLAYDATE SPONSORED BY SEATGEEK. *RESTRICTIONS APPLY. FIND MUG ROOT BEER AT YOUR LOCAL STORE OR BUY IT WHEREVER YOU GET YOUR GROCERIES. CHECK OUT https://www.mugrootbeer.com/find-mug TO FIND OUT HOW YOU CAN GET YOUR PAWS ON SOME MUG.  00:00 Intro 01:34 Burger Freak Off 04:45 Galaxy’s Edge 17:18 Lightsabers 27:08 Will Donnellon Goes to Space 39:08 Liam’s First Sketch 40:30 Roadmap 45:44 Mail Bag 49:27 Pitch Submissions 58:11 It’s Wild! 01:04:00 Pitches 01:11:41 AITA 01:18:33 This Guy Rocks 01:24:03 Teach Me Something 01:27:02 Drafts #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range. Infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins. Like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function. And Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight. Our new double espresso with ginseng extract.

Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com. When WestJet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board.

Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. All right, Playdate episode 125. We got Liam Culla. It's an honor to be on. In the house. Thank you for having me. I think our most, you and Billy, I think,

are tied for most active guest. Is it your third time, fourth time? Third. And Creed. Creed Bratton is up there as well. 125, Austin Rivers in high school. What a weird thing to know. Do you want me to look him up or do you know that?

I know it for a fact, but you can pull him up. Do you know a number 25, anything, Liam? Tate Perkins. Is that a guy you know? This guy I went to high school with. I'm trying to think. That's another crazy. Tate Perkins?

Yeah, you say all my buddies have crazy names. That might be up there. Was he nasty at lacrosse? He played at Bates after high school. Tate Perkins got my taint Perkin. Come on. No, come on. Perk-a-layton.

All right, we just got back from. what number is he i don't even yeah i'm blanking on the cornerback for the seahawks oh yeah richard sherman uh richard sherman shady mccoy yep uh chris johnson was 28 no glory days alum oh yes uh who's the there was a richard sherman look at my there was a shifty a shifty uh couple shifty running backs the war 25 yeah man there we go yep all right thank you we just got back from the burger free or we should talk about star wars first yesterday we didn't do the no come on let's talk about the burger freak off we just did the burger freak off we just did the burger I just threw a fucking cheeseburger 49 yards it was the most

impressive thing I've ever seen in my entire life you got footage yeah you haven't seen it no live stream it's all over my instagram story I don't think I follow you I follow you I just have you uh muted look are you guys at high school yeah we walked over santa monica high sam oh hi sam oh hi go uh yeah have you seen that like the thing on the wall it says like samohai like the big text on the wall just says s-a-m-o-h-i like samohai well i think it's a heavily i'm sorry i think we're getting caught up the letters on the wall they're big letters like a sign almost yes and it's not almost it's totally a sign okay agreed disagree s-a-m-o-h-i instead of saying santa monica high school on the side of it it says samoha who's got time to say

all that samoha but it's like if that isn't what people call it already that's cringe i think surely it was the thing and they were like we got to put it they wouldn't put it up if people weren't calling it that i've heard uh people that are like born and raised in la be like yo where'd you go to high school sounds like sam oh hi i've heard that in the streets passing conversations really i was eavesdropping at a gas station nice uh okay burger freak up i was right but the original claim was was i can throw a burger 30 yards and i said there's no way and i got it 32 willie the the the way that the burger flew in the air was probably the most impressive thing i've ever seen it left his hand it dropped the bottom bun like the space shuttle like leaves

that plane and it like a frisbee you know what a frisbee catches a gust of wind and like flutters up yeah it did that and went exactly 49 yards in the air yeah like didn't roll no roll 49 yards i it's got to be a world record there's no way anyone's ever thrown a cheeseburger i think 50 yards google furthest it's like already our video is already up there furthest burger ever thrown huh no world record yet no no the record for longest of an object without any aiding features is oh that can't be someone's definitely thrown a football further than that yeah a thousand no no 47 47 meters that's less than 47 yards it's like probably about third how did they throw that burger no that's a big burger you think they catapulted that burger that's me when i'm drunk

you get little or the burger gets big all of it i forgot how little you get when the tiny drunk pocket yeah i'm like stewart little it is it's pretty it's pretty shocking to watch uh we also just went to uh galaxy's edge at star wars world and built our own lightsabers we'll put a picture of it here it was very cool i and just for me just put a picture of uh you can put anything you want uh lebron james put a picture of lebron james put a picture of liam and the smallest guy ever that i emailed you i logged into emily's email and i was i emailed moths a uh a picture of the smallest guy ever and i just said i think this can i think this can save us a lot of money and uh and then i went to his office and i was like hey emily's out today but uh she said she sent you like an

important email and he like i was like okay and pulled it up and then didn't laugh and then i and then cut my salary in half um dude this the star wars thing was was sweet it i'm i'm out you're out it was oh what universal is so much cooler everything it cost us like thousands of dollars to go and we bought the it's just already it was like nine hundred dollars before we even stepped in the park well it was five people but how much is one ticket like 170 bucks what the fuck and then we bought the fast pass which you'd think would apply to like the one roller coaster everyone wants to go on nope you have to buy that separately that's stupid uh to get into the cantina you have to log in online just to get in line luke told me you have to get

an app you have to get an app yeah which i was already out and then after two drinks or 45 minutes whichever comes first they kick you out and you have to get back in line so for guys that we were trying to drink every drink at the cantina that we thought it was going to be a three hour shoot it was we were there for probably nine eight nine i got home at 10 45 yeah and then i texted i texted flan i said i'm gonna facetime you wait 15 seconds and then pick up so i put prop my phone up turned off all the lights uh when she picked up i turned my lightsaber on across the room wearing nothing but my jedi robe and it was the hardest i've gotten anyone to laugh in my in my entire because you so you're saying you were naked in a jedi robe i was naked

in a jedi robe with my green lightsaber as the only light source wow and it was if you guys have a lightsaber at home and and a significant other that you think would find that funny i would do that tonight because it was it made me i might just try that to some random chicks i'm just gonna like close my eyes and scroll through my contacts and click and pray to god it's no one i'm related to we so they let you build your you they when you go to check in to build your lightsaber they're like all right go stand under these umbrellas and we'll like you know they don't give you any other instruction and there's this person standing there with next like these cabinets and we were kind of just waiting for someone to come get us you have to go talk to this person first it's like a secret

like they don't tell you you just like they you won't get in there until you just like happen to talk to this lady it's like doing an npc side quest real quick yeah yeah and she we were like can we talk to you oh first when we went to check and we were like is this the place to build the lightsabers and they're all in all the employees are constantly in character so they were like no i wouldn't know anything about that and we're like all right cool uh and we like went to leave and she's like this is a scrap metal place and we're like cool we're gonna go find the lightsaber spot she was like all right this you do it here like all right awesome thank you and uh oh and then at the entrance we were like do you know where the galaxy's edge is and the guy was

like it is in a land far far away can you just tell us where i know you have to do this because you're like contractually obligated to stay in character but like this is not helping it's like it's through uh western village and then there's a secret passageway and a land far far away and i thought it was sick though i i didn't know that you were gonna have that take i thought it was really cool it was like everyone's all the employees are in character they have like people walking around luke skywalker didn't really look like that much like him but he came up and he was like and oh the janitor i'm like walking by and he goes like good evening master because i'm like in my jedi garb with my lightsaber and i was like that's sick and then luke skywalker comes up

i thought he was a sith guy at first because he got that black robe yeah and then i realized who it was and he was like how are you doing master i honestly kind of felt bad but i just went he's like oh jedi master how are you doing and i was like oh no no i just bought this i live in venice i'm just visiting i just bought all this stuff that i'm not actually a jedi and he was like what do i do with this he also didn't he clearly didn't naturally have kyle walker's hair so he had like a hair piece like on top of his that like there was just a clear line where it ended and like it went back to his normal hair texture but he i asked him uh i was like have you seen andor and he's like oh the documentary i like that one yeah i don't know it's like fun to get to i

just it was cool just to walk around the canteen thing was annoying but it's also like probably fair like they probably shouldn't let people get 12 different cocktails no but two at a time it's great like yeah i should be able to get five drinks before i get kicked out yes yeah but they let you go right back in like they knew it was us yeah i heard you guys bought fucking stormtrooper masks and they were like we know it's you did yeah was that your plan is that that was luke and i wanted stormtrooper mask also willie there was some reason willie was pissing us off so we were like we're gonna go get them without him i was pissing you off i don't know you did so are you like what you were like we we knew a faster route and you wanted to go another way and then we saw

them and we were like okay we'll get these because he didn't trust our but i just bought them i just wanted to walk through i think like there's like a part where there's like all like vendors and it feels like you're like in a little town you march to the beat of your own drum no matter where you are yeah no matter any galaxy wait so where'd you get the jedi costumes oh also uh we bought them there how much was that my my robe was 99 fucking a will bought the same robe and then like a I got a tunic like a shirt

to go under it as well so now we're at including tickets plus that what are we at a lot and then it was 500 bucks

457 dollars for two of us to build our lightsabers yeah total not each dude they're rinsing people it's a lot

it was I would never have done it if it wasn't no the company yeah obviously but hey but at Universal

those videos are doing well and you can get in the line and like if you have a fast pass you can ride any ride you want quickly and there are a lot of them there were no good roller coasters there and Luke and I on the way out were like we can't I can't come all the way to Disney World without riding a ride and the one ride that our fast pass let us ride was like a rinky dink kids ride still a 30 minute wait and Luke and I got on and we're trying to like get in the mindset of like this was worth it but there were no it went four miles an hour there were no drops wait also so sad i just i'm i'm i'm i've i felt like taken advantage of going there i didn't like it and uh and felt used i felt used

and it was like if i was a i was thinking of it through the lens of like this is for parents to bring their kids to yeah if i bust my ass every week at some like job to take my brat kids to disney world and that was the experience i would i would like freak the fuck out i don't know how i'm gonna take my white my white rapid teenage son he doesn't appreciate me anymore he hates me he has to like just a xanax and makes beats in his room yeah he's wearing osiris's and i worked all fucking year and this is our one vacation and i can't ride any ride that goes faster than like a car in a school zone i thought well we never got to do the rides but yeah that was part of the problem but i was gonna say that we tried after you let willie also left early and it was

like i wanted to get a ride in and there were just no there were no good rides and then the one that was supposed to be like their marquee one we ended up just paying for and it was it was like bumper cars oh you did rise of the resistance yeah and it wasn't cool what kind of ride you're in like a free roaming car and it takes you through like uh you ever been on spider man at at universal never been um it is it's like a show it's like you're watching tv but you're moving that was what it felt like uh i don't like this it was not it was it was the whole thing and this is this is they spent billions they spent probably a billion dollars to build this place and it was underwhelming they put the country i think that's most of our our debt as a nation a billion

dollars no no just it's mostly from star wars harry potter world jurassic park two of them too yeah but harry potter world that's a good that's a good comparison harry potter world it feels like i'm there there are things to do that don't cost more money or take an hour and the p like just generally the vibe is cooler like they this felt like we were doing something wrong by trying to have a drink there at harry potter world it's like an encouraged like you can get shots at harry potter world really you see you're not you're not they give you a butter you go can i have a butterbeer and like a whiskey and they're like yes but you can't mix them and then they wink okay so like they you have to give you the shots because they can't make the butterbeer

alcoholic but you can do it secretly oh okay yeah interesting yes um when do you i need to be there So we are probably going to do Harry Potter World in, like, a month, and it should be the three of us. Yeah, lock me in, please. I was going to say, the one other story I was going to tell that was funny was after we had had our eighth drink, we walk out of the cantina. And it's like, you know, like, you walk out of a bar, and it's, like, bright. It's kind of like that moment of, like, oh, gathering ourselves. And there's just immediately, like, stormtroopers come up, and they're like, here they are. And they point over, and Kylo Ren is, like, staring us down.

and they i think like a few times a day they like pick some people to like hone in on for these like scenes and they think you're mega fans because you're yes and so they're like doing it and i just kept trying to do to the stormtroopers like what are you doing here and i just kept trying to do like the jedi mind tricks on him and he grabs my arm pulls it down and goes he literally did that he was like making fun of me it was very funny and he like pushed me at one point i didn't know they could like get handsy wait i'll send it in maybe they can't yeah the guy literally grabbed my arm i was saying it's literally the tim robinson sketch like no he's allowed to hit you yeah he can hit at that at this price point he can hit that's what you're oh yeah you have the

video where did what chat did you send that in willie i didn't send that where did i get that video lucas and the chat that we had at star wars land what are you anyway that's enough about us what are you went up to wait i need lean to see this video i'm sorry yeah i haven't been up to anything please don't please don't ask me about my personal life here i have it you want anything you're talking about the kylo ren video yeah yeah here i'll airdrop it okay watch this but yeah they one guy like shoved they were taking it very seriously and i think they they thought we would be we were into it but it was kind of hard to i don't know what we were supposed to say i'm gonna be honest i kind of just got around to watching star wars really so i don't

know who the new people are and this is mostly new yeah you haven't seen the when i saw kyle around i i thought it was like a bad darth vader no he did you know what he did is like the thing he does in the movie where he like grabbed my shoulders and then he goes i've got everything i need he doesn't do that it's either like ray or or like someone where he like because he just gets the info out of their brain about where the droids are i can't remember dude those were so bad i tried to like black yeah but there's like not i don't know i think it's like that opening scene but like yeah he goes like is it instead of killing someone he just goes i've got everything i need and then walks away is it the same thing as like what fantastic beasts is to harry potter

where it's like a like the new stuff is just like a different timeline and no one really cares about it no no it's like they just redid they just there's i mean i don't want to spoil it it's connected but it's every connection they make is the worst it's a decision you can fucking make Watch this. Look at Luke in the back. Oh yeah, I forgot Luke. So Willie and I bought the nicest lightsabers you can get and then Luke went into the store

and just got the kids one. And so he's in the back. But yeah, that was our time at Harry Potter World. I, or sorry, Galaxy's Edge. So you did what color lightsaber? Green? Green. Mine's actually blue.

It looks purple, but it's blue. Yeah, green. I would do green, but me and me, I'd probably get a red one. I wanted a yellow one, but they didn't have it. Sort of boundary pushing. I'm boundary pushing. Are red ones? Red bad.

Red bad, green, blue, purple, yellow, white, good. Green's more of a defensive Jedi. Yep. Wait, so I heard you could get, so when you're getting the hilts, what are your options there? Oh, that's, okay, that was fascinating. There's like 10 options. Could you get Count Dooku's, the curved one? No.

Maybe. there's like four categories and like 10 options for pieces within them so when you go to that like npc person she's like i'm gonna show you the four categories and she pulled one out it's like slugs and like gross like earth stuff and then there was like uh mine was i think the coolest it was protection and defense which was it almost looked like a medieval sword handle and so i was like i want to be that willie got like standard kind of classic peace and justice peace and justice it looks a lot like like obi-wan yeah and you know people were saying in the room when we were building them that i kind of knocked it out of the park and that lucas said that wills if mine

was like a rolls royce wills was like a stock civic okay yeah um but i think yours here's talking shit yours looks yeah i think a little bit oh i i like mine i i wanted to look like one of the ones like that i grew up with like from the movie he didn't take any risks yeah i kind to put myself out there you never do though and mine's also more representative of my character you never have you never will you're like an oatmeal guy that's all right i'm like a cheeseburger no toppings no ketchup right that's like pete tarling uh pete pete darling will text me so we have boys night planned on august 26th so philip tarling is who to pete tarling uh pete tongue's younger brother cool and uh and uh pete will text me so phil we have a group chat and

phil's birthday is september 26th which is a month after boys night and uh pete will text us like august 26th so we're like yep can't wait and then phil has started fucking with his head and he'll just text september 26th and so pete sent me he had to change his countdown app to a month later and i had to call him and be like do not listen to him boys night is still a month later but he he is a plain hamburger guy where i'll call him and i'm like all right man let's plan boys night we're gonna go bowling and then we're gonna take you out to dinner like where do you want to go and he's like hamburger and i'm like where all right where do you want to get one he's like literally anywhere like can we put some oh he's also severely lactose intolerant so he keeps

That's what it is. Sorry. From morning hockey with a cup of coffee to Timbits and road trips, Tim's and Canadian Tire have always gone together. Now it's official. You can now earn Canadian Tire money at Tim's. Link your Triangle Rewards and Tim's Rewards accounts to earn twice with every Tim's run. Terms and conditions apply.

Visit timhordens.ca slash triangle for details. he keeps a he keeps a couple lactates on him and uh and when would we get like cheese curds or whatever he like you know double down or whatever but he yeah he's mostly just he's a that joke was funny because because peter has uh down syndrome oh that's oh that's what it is uh sounds like a joke lean would make because he's more boundary pushing than i am take your hood off take your fucking hood off when you talk to me fucking you called him you called him an oatmeal guy and he was like i got it i gotta make a serious change here i'm gonna start making fun of kids with special ladies a punk dude i'm

fucking badass now dude i'm the bad boy of comedy you are podcasting yeah you are people call me the bad boy of podcasting that's right i've heard right uh wait fuck i had another question mm-hmm wait so can you what would like a a sith one look like there was like the kid next to me was building a sith one it was like murdered out and it had like prongs coming out of the top and he picked a red kyber crystal and uh i i don't know when i was a kid i was like kind of aware of star wars but i kind of only knew it through i'm always blown away when i look up at the screen and lauren has done something it's it is i'm just curious i'm genuinely curious it's next level getting on this pod feels like you know when you get off a treadmill and it feels like you're

walking faster it's unbelievable yeah it's like when uh like your your podcast is that resistant that breathing restrictor that like march on lynch used to wear when he takes it off it feels like he can really breathe yeah um dude the so i wanted yellow and i think willie did too i think my handle with yellow saber would have been the coolest thing possible oh you can do the darth maul double no so i have a theory actually i think there is a way i think there's a way to like unlock things that they because they they give you a pin based on what you've selected outside and i think that there there are stuff there's something you could say because there were extra drawers i think there's something you could tell her

like a keyword that would like let you build something crazier because they have your trays pre-made and so i think like maybe they give certain people like the ability to do other stuff i think if you could do double are there any good guys that have double no there's only one guy that has darth maul yeah who's who's your favorite star wars ahsoka carries two uh my favorite star's character yeah cassie nandor but he doesn't have a lightsaber that's fine oh yeah cassie nandor and you rossi so far obi-wan probably great answer how many have you seen you've seen i've seen everything okay okay but like not the not the new shit but i probably won't ever do that i like i'm the biggest i'm as big of a harry potter fan as i think you can get and i i haven't

i own fantastic beast but i haven't gotten around to one yeah hold on real quick oh yeah oh liam i meant to ask you what's your who's your favorite star wars character general grievous really yeah thanks for asking by the way i don't like that i think that he's that old if they had him walking around that'd be sick he's like a robot but he's that's what i think is dumb though is there he's a living being he's just like an android but why does he have why does he have breathing problems he's made of metal he uh almost died in battle so that's not his real body they uh the sith took him in and put that body that's fantastic it's like how they built darth vader a suit they built grievous wait what do you like about him uh he's the worst guy

dude but like before he became uh you know i don't even know if he's a sith or not but you know before he came bad guy he was uh kind of on this like planet that was just getting attacked by this insect species and he was just like a famous rebel child warrior that grew up to be like he's almost kind of like uh in dune where do you get this backstory i love general grievous bro that's awesome but is this like fanfic or like this is lore this is like his backstory they got like hella books and shit like there is like an endless amount of star wars shit you guys familiar with the darth jar jar theory that's my favorite one no what's that jar jar binks was so oh yes so if you watch the first prequel i forget when they yeah i think it's the

first one uh there's a lot of evidence that they're george lucas is building up jar jar in this first one to reveal that he's been a sith lord in the next few yeah uh and they got so much backlash on people fucking hated jar jar hated him so much the guy that played jar jar banks wrote a book about it that's how much hate he got for it and so they i think they they bailed but there's a whole youtube video breaking down every scene where it's like yeah how is he banished from his planet and then he he's clearly force sensitive he's doing like triple front flips yeah and he's also sensitive like you can use the force basically oh force sensitive yeah okay and he's always around the bad guys in certain scenes it's very odd and uh it would be that would have

been i feel like i've like seen like memes about it but never thought i didn't know there was like an actual yeah i've heard it so he's like is he based are they based off of like jamaicans Who? His species? Yeah. Isn't that weird? So the whole Gungan city is supposed to be like Jamaica. And he's sort of their Bob Marley character.

Isn't he kind of? Who's this? I don't know who that is. That is like a new guy that just dropped, I believe. That's some Sith boy. What's this guy's name again? Darth Maul. Oh, I take it back.

Darth Maul. Fuck. General Grievous or Darth Maul. I can't say. Yeah. Scary. I made Will. You've always had a knack for the bad guys

I know, I don't know I don't know if you were here yet But I made Will sexy Darth Maul For Halloween one year And the greatest part about that is So they have to paint his face like Darth Maul's And they started with a black foundation We'll put a picture of it right here

So I walked upstairs And I walked into the most offensive room I've ever seen in my entire life I remember that Is there a picture of it? I took one They gave you boobs yeah

I was also big big ol' honkers I also was scrolling through my phone for the dollar shape club thing I had to post and I forgot I took this but it's a picture

it's when you were face down and they were 3D mapping your body it's just your ass out on a table and this guy above you wait why did they

have to 3D map they had to get like an inch from my penis so somewhere out there they have like every vein freckle and hair they had to do a full

3D scan of my naked body in a speedo it wasn't even dollar shape club it was just a guy from the government who showed up and was like

no it was Nick Massey Wait, why did they leave? Oh, it was Nick in the picture. For the CGI, did you see the video where I go on the slip and slide and I just slide into, like, outer space? No. Pull that up, Lauren. Look at Will Donnellan goes to space.

Just go to Dollar Shave Club's Instagram. Look at Will Donnellan dark side of the moon theory. Look at hollow moon. That's another thing I don't understand. How is that side of the moon always facing us? Is it not spinning? The moon is not spinning. Interesting.

Why? down more willie why is the moon not spinning um god just god god didn't you know he's a godless wait wait wait he's a punk kid oh wait wait no that one maybe that one of bobby grilling is it that one to have the grill is attached no it's not this it's not this go back go this that one Yeah, it might be that one. Hey! I think it might be this. Happy birthday, America!

Yeah. Hey! Happy birthday, America! I also fucked my foot up on this joke. Happy birthday, America! Happy birthday, America! Happy birthday, America! Happy birthday, America!

What? It's going really far. Yeah, it's because I used some of this. You did what? What? That's really irresponsible, man. I thought I only used a little. Well, you clearly overdid it.

We're losing him! He doesn't even have his phone or wallet. And also has our only bottle opener. I got the bottle opener. Oh, okay, yeah, can I get that? Hey, Bobby, how'd those burgers come in? Just a few more flips. It's a good ad.

Yeah, that's funny. It's a great ad. I haven't even seen that one yet. they were like they were really nervous about like the like one guy on set was like we can't have him jumping like that like onto rocks like he could really hurt himself i was like i'm fine i'm fine let's just do it like it was like a stressful day and like you just want to get through it and the first jump i just completely gash open my big toe and uh i was just like i can't if i say something they're gonna like shut down the whole set so i just did i just had to

jump three more times with an open wound i was living with jason it was awesome for the people at home jason was is editor it was is an editor here or was an editor here uh eclectic guy jason got me my job here really i thought edge went on a there were because like edge went on a date all of jason what yeah all of the women oh jason we just told this story jason was the guy that gave us uh mushrooms and that he was sinking into the ground yeah he's like my mother early july yeah that's awesome what a great day i got real into an alien talk that night scared every girl i scared the fuck out of everyone i remember i woke up the next day i was like that sucks were you wearing a briner locker jersey yep yeah yeah i've been having a lot more

of those uh those like when i'm alone uh the fuck fuck fuck fuck thoughts about like just small things that i've definitely said way worse things in the past than i do now when i'm out but they their impact on me is a lot stronger i had one when i was home my brother me rusty and my little brother in a meme group chat it's mostly just like memes about uh hitting the pen and eating the benjamin every every meme that sean sends me is like when you hit the benjamin before work and it's like an alien in like a suit being like okay all of them i can't i had a thought the other day that our group i think that i know this isn't true but i was paranoid and i was watching i'd taken an edible and i was watching the memes that you guys sent and i there was a part of my brain

that thought this is like they started this and they're sending me the worst memes possible to see when i will say like uh like or i thought you guys are are like we can send him anything and he'll like it and then i was like no they definitely wouldn't do that that's just like i i i formed it because i was sending you and him the same shit yeah and i was like i might as well just do get these guys in this thing together but dude i was home and uh you know when you go home and you're around your parents, your family, and you just turn back into like an angsty teenage kid who's like, like to use the TikTok term, you get rage baited so quickly. Like I, if, if my family's out, I'm like a different human being when I'm home. And my brother got a fade haircut and he

was like the day before, he's like, I'm gonna go get a fade tomorrow. I was like, don't, don't get a fade. And he went in, like comes home and he's like, obviously like doesn't know what to think about it and so i'm laughing so hard and i'm shooting on him like all day about it pretty much and then we go and we get drinks and i'm like definitely going a little bit too hard on it and something and so he just like he was like yeah well you're fucking fat and i like spassed and like my girlfriend was there my parents were there and we got like and i was like yeah you're fucking broke fuck you and like and then we both just went back and forth i woke yeah i woke up next day i was like fuck fuck he called me fat i almost cried i feel like we're all getting we're

getting to the age now we're like we should be able to get through like a week with our siblings without without having one of those moments and so like the first three days everyone's like too cordial you're like we would never act like this you're like being like way too my sister just got in tonight and she's only here for a couple days and i'm just like i need to i need to just get through this without having like a temper tantrum in front of my because flan's gonna be there as well and she her and my sister are becoming like very good friends and so them like teaming up on me is so that's terrifying it's a little scary you don't want that no one in my family's ever gonna date anyone we got a good thing going that's good are all of you are all of you single

yep everyone in my family's been single for years now my sister saw sam his brother on hinge and i wanted them to like each other and neither of them did he said he stopped using it yeah how's your dad doing good dude my dad's fucking awesome i love your dad yeah he's a man the man he's uh it's his birthday on monday i'll send him a message yeah i saw a comment or my sister posted this on her story you know that that uh ceo that got caught dating and uh yeah having an affair with his that was my dad yeah oh my god yes that's yeah but it's been going around kind of a big moment for my family spotlight this week and uh someone posted that clip and my sister took a screenshot we'll put a picture of it right here my sister took a screenshot because it'll say if

any of your friends commented on it my dad just commented scumbag that's funny but he is not joking like he saw that and probably got like very upset about it and the only way to get it out was he like needed to he hates which obviously everything everyone should hate cheating but something about him something about cheating rubs that guy the wrong way which i think is a good a good thing but like i would keep it to myself if i was an adult i also just think about in general like on any given post by like a hyper like a sports center post even like there are tens of thousands of comments i don't think i've ever commented on a sports center post ever and i've never seen i've never seen any of our friends yeah it's like yeah all right guys we gotta talk

true classic for you because what they're doing goes beyond the fit and the fabric it's about making sure that guys show up confident and with purpose wherever they go everything i've gotten from true classic fits like a glove it's soft it's comfortable and it helps me go anywhere i need to go with confidence they have intention behind what they do it was built for impact and i think that's very much reflected in the products that they make i just want to say i've been wearing them for a minute now yep they are okay lauren just ran into a sign during our ad read she ran into a big whiteboard keep going but it's just it's an effortless cool fit their t-shirts It's our game changer.

Oh, my God. Legendary. Stop thinking about those overpriced designer brands. Ditch the fast fashion. We're done with that. True Classic is truly built for comfort, style, built to last, and they give back. You can grab them at Target, Costco, or head to trueclassic.com slash playdate and get hooked up today. Let's get back into the episode.

You're worried about AI? Me? Yeah. Yes. what's the biggest thing you think i could make bugs the biggest thing true new aunt new aunt yeah new aunt shoes that hurt and i ain't talking about my uncle getting remarried did i tell you about the bug i killed no i already did no not me though i talked about the bug i peed on my wiener oh that's crazy you pissed him or i just peed and then i looked at it

and it was like a crazy bug and i was like i mean i guess but i didn't see it in the toilet when i out there what's what's crazy trotting yours it had like legs i'd never even thought of and like really tail it was like swimming so it's a tadpole it was a full frog actually maybe it was nah i won't say it's disgusting wait it could be like a large sperm like sometimes sometimes it was you know it was either a bug that was already in the toilet or it was a large sperm yeah well it's kind of like um now that i think about it when the like you have a little dried on your penis and then when you go to pee

it's like a firework show and it comes out like eight different streams. Have you ever seen the Hot Rod? No. Or yes. I don't know why

I said that. Really? Yeah. Really? I've never seen it. You'd like Hot Rod. Yeah, you gotta watch it. But like Chris Parnell

when he lifts up his shirt and he's got the kid peeing onto an It's the old like Calvin and Hobbes. Yeah, he's peeing on a TV and an FM radio station

and then AM is right here. He's like, I like to think he had sex the night before so there's a little bit of semen in his urethra. broadcasting the jump on am right now i haven't seen that in a while dude it's so good i just rewatched it it's amazing one of my favorite comedies you should watch it second favorite

comedy horror that's probably number one second favorite difficult to say fuck maybe office space i love office but walk hard love walk hard do a cock story that's up there but i only i only like have the urge to watch it like when someone's over that i find out they haven't watched like i don't watch it on my own i cornered james lynch and made him watch it at in rochester new york at we started at like 11 and uh and by the end i kept like looking over to see if he was enjoying it and he was fighting to stay awake and then finally i was like dude You can go to bed. Thank God.

He's just too nice. Do you know James Lynch? Yeah, I've known James Lynch for a long time. He's the nicest guy. I knew him before he moved out here, I think. I think he was still in college. We were both just young white guys doing sketches, so we shared some messages over the internet.

What was the first sketch you ever made? Me? Yeah. I know. It's when you're 21 and you get beer? No, that's one of them. that was the first one that did well okay i had a problem sort your tiktok by oldest oh i i don't have my first ones on the internet because they were not oh i actually did find them you found

that's the first one yeah what was it uh it was me in a hotel room with my buddy and we're both like uh playing each other in this or no i'm playing an app on my phone i go oh fuck me i just lost to my friends in the other bed he goes you'd like that wouldn't you gay boy and i go And I run over on his bed, and we start, like, molesting each other under the covers. And I get up. I go, whoa, whoa, get off me. The joke is, like, I'm gay. How old were you?

Fifteen. Were you posting them on Instagram? No, I was just texting with my friends. My friend tweeted it, so it's, like, out there. That's what I did. I would just make videos and send it in, like, group chats. One of my buddies was just, like, tweeting them for, like, probably a year before I even, like, tweeted anything. Before you knew it?

No, I knew. I was just, like, on us. that was how that was how Friday Beer started apparently Max was just making the videos

and sending them to his buddies yeah his group chat really yeah should we road map it up road map

I gotta pee then can we do the road map alright we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches

followed by our pitches then we're gonna do am I the asshole lore and then we'll do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he

rocks in your yard there's rocks in my yard and then we'll do that was awesome thank you some people hate it no like two people hate it we can't listen to them how many people do you think love it i would say two-thirds two-thirds love one-third is indifferent one percent hates i don't know fraction so so two-thirds six oh sorry okay imagine uh it's like six percent what's something he likes football okay imagine wait imagine all the linemen uh like it that would be like two-thirds cool i think got it uh all right and then we're gonna do teach me something and then we're gonna do curb your enthusiasm plots that don't exist and then harry potter themed cocktails and then we'll wrap up with rusty songs of the day one of my favorite

moments uh the last seven hours was uh rusty telling liam we're doing harry potter cocktails that don't exist and liam goes what's a harry potter cocktail that does exist there are a question there are a million yeah but i'm excited i feel like there's a chance we all did the same ones i didn't have any time to think of any so i'll do it on the fly okay for either category yeah to be fair you told me this morning yeah i i am kind of shocked that you didn't and i did ask i asked that's true i brought it up uh maybe i asked you the other day was it you it was it was i don't know we fucking wednesday we were at freaking disney all day and then yesterday we were on that show hey i don't mind just i'm just like i'm fucking it's for the listeners to

understand the playmates oh also funny thing that happened was that i had to go straight or I had like tickets to a concert on Wednesday nights so I went straight to the concert and I had to check my lightsaber

yeah you went on a date with a guy I went on a date with a guy I'm not even kidding who was it no I just went with a guy

that you met at a bar through a friend yep that's a date and you invited him to a concert I thought you were going with Dylan

yeah Dylan no showed it wasn't it wasn't like a sexual date but you went on a romantic date with a guy that's fine

I went on a date with a guy but I was even was this the first time you met no no my friend Mark brought him to trivia on tuesday and he had mentioned he wanted to go to the show and i had

an extra ticket so i was like oh if you want to come with me my buddy dylan you dated a guy i did yeah what's the gotcha no no it's not a gotcha i'm just saying i just think and i would assume liam agrees with me that sounds like my own personal hell to be alone with a guy that i barely know what if you have nothing to talk about it was great we had plenty to talk about he's super nice guy but i had to show up there in full jedi garb with my lightsaber check my lightsaber and then i was just wearing it and i can't wait to tell the story of your wedding the guy's getting your ass right now you're gonna fight back i'm getting no i don't i i think if i fight back that if i don't fight back then he it makes him feel bad after a certain point

no i've seen it happen it has happened but i've seen it happen that's true sometimes i'm like damn like if you just kind of eat it then eventually he's like all right what am i doing here yeah try to try to gauge if you're in the sometimes like you're in the mood to receive stuff like that then sometimes you're not and it does make you feel what do you mean me yeah yeah like like there are times where like i could like throw like a little jab or whatever and you would be like in the mood for it and like play back and then sometimes it i'll throw one or say something and you're not in the mood and it does you're right it does feel like a dagger yeah well anyway God forbid I try to tell this fucking story

Yeah go on The guy Scanned me and he was like Did they have like a Star Wars song They do No I just came from Disneyland And It was a hit

That was it That's awesome You guys are really good friends I just want to say that I really love having conversations with you guys And spending time together we're gonna go we're gonna rent a boat again great well all right man fuck you scott's coming when are you doing it um no plan date yeah but we just want to rip it again every now and then

that was very cool yeah anyways sorry oh one last i mean i'm like i'm my calendar's kind of wild you're coming that was granted what one last thing you're coming oh really yeah of course i don't know figure it out lauren you're invited as well i'm super done i'm going on a boat tomorrow i'm stoked what's with who with whom excuse me my friend yasmin's birthday yasmin yeah we all paid like 147 and she's bringing she's providing the drinks lobster rolls i'm like okay bougie i sounds great i'm very excited but what i was gonna say is let's also open this package at the end okay because we have a pack oh no can we do it right now yeah will was like freaking out this morning like i need to open this i'm like but we can wait well they overnighted it so i feel like

we should open it with some time sensitivity it could be like should we just open it really quick perishable was it a playmate they paid 50 whoever this is paid 50 to overnight this to us damn this is from matan in bar hansen he lives in sf nice the lobster i call it san fran as a local no i think locals don't i know i'm just kidding i'm doing a fucking thing oh i just heard about Weren't we just talking about this? Oh, what? Wait, I don't want them. The mango ones?

Chuck them. Chuck them. I don't want them to get all, like, messed up. Hot. Or crumbly. Wait, what is all this? Shrimp cracker? Shrimp cracker?

That's what they called me in high school. Oh, my God. These are... Wait, aren't these the ones that are... That's good, Will. What the hell-y? All right, so we got mango jelly candies. Liam, get in here.

Wait, what's the lore on this? I don't know. I don't know. I think we talked about these mango ones. Like, you can't be munching on crap. Yeah, I'll try them later. Dude, this is so nice. Thank you so much.

Wait, whoa. Wait, we take the whole package away from you? Yeah, we put the whole package away. My fat ass will eat the whole thing. We can read this at the end, but he... Ooh, really sticky. Sesame bar. Oh, he wants my job.

Mmm. You're hired. He also wants my job. This is delicious. Oh, he sent his resume. Oh, wow. It's actually kind of sick. It's funny.

Smart boy. I went to Dan Tano's. It was a restaurant in WeHo. And the guy asked where I was from. I said Maine. And they just the whole night were coming up and making Maine jokes. The waiter came over and he was like, we have a lobster roll on special or lobster or something. He's like, but I doubt you'd like that.

You just call that a roll. The guy thought the guy next to us, I think, thought I was like a food critic because he kept being like, but that wouldn't impress you very much. And then I was wearing a cable-knit sweater, and he brought all the staff around. I was like, look, he's wearing a cable-knit sweater. And it made me feel... Don Tuna did that? Scott thought Dantanas was called Don Tuna's. That'd be a better name.

That'd be a fun name for a guy. There was a... When I was in Cape Cod, I drove by this abandoned restaurant that was called Barnacle Bill's. Come on. Come on. I owned a bar called The Barnacle Ones. Really? Dangerous.

I thought you were shaking your head like, no, I didn't actually. No. Bar Harbor, Maine. cops came into the bar and were like someone's parked in front of a fire hydrant and Scott and I had we've been like we're gonna park here we'll just walk back to our hotel and just leave the car here overnight not realizing we're technically

like in the fire hydrant zone so the cop comes in he's like alright someone's parked in front of a fire hydrant and we're like both hammered at the bar we're like what are we gonna do about this and so the bartender was like I'll move your car that's awesome alright should we hear a pitch Laura? Yes

um it's very sweet you hide those snacks so i'm gonna be able to think about well don't be munching over there well it's gonna be all like it's soft oh okay um matan don't worry i will get that in the right is that the name of that kid i appreciate you the kid that is like the pranks pulled matan podcaster oh yeah yeah yeah he's so fucking funny he just went on some podcast and did The whole like The whole Burt Kreischer Like machine joke as if it was his own story

Oh that's so funny Okay pitches Did anyone ever see that movie? Did they make that movie? Yep Stephen Titcher was in it so was Mark Hamill Luke Skywalker That's awesome Alright first pitch Jimmy's Burt right? Yeah young Burt

First pitch is from Maeve She says hello Inky Blanks and Pinky Blanks liam can be inky i'll be pinky cool cool got you brother what is the worst part about finding somewhere to sit in public oh it's like on transit at a movie theater in waiting rooms etc the there is almost nowhere where you have to sit next where you don't have to sit next to someone you know and you feel like you're invading their personal space what if the what if a grandma come Oh, hemorrhoids.

Yeah, what if a grandma come? Making your grandma come? What if everyone on the bus is pregnant and you take all their seats? And you spread out. You put your backpack on. Oh, you want to lie down. Yeah, you want to lie down and take all of them. What if they're not pregnant until you get there?

What if a pregnant woman wants to take the seat that you literally have your backpack on? Your backpack's literally on the seat. It's clearly not open. I was at an airport one time and it was one of the blocks of just three seats. And I wasn't really thinking. I sat down in the middle one. and instead of a woman the this woman came up and instead of being like oh excuse me is there any chance i get like you could move to that one i'll sit there she was like i can either sit next

to you or you can move and i was like all right jesus and so i moved to the edge but it was yeah so maybe that you're worried about a big a huge woman coming up and yelling at you she says some weirdo is going to pick the seat right next to you on the train instead of the 45 other wide open seats i guess a woman's answer would be a lot different than that oh you want to sit yeah sorry you want to sit directly next to the pretty woman on the train but she keeps moving to one of the openings i propose the portable puddle a collapsible pile of goop that when expanded and placed on a seat creates the appearance of a puddle of liquid makes it look like somebody spilled a drink there this prevents people from sitting right next to you for fear of getting

their pants all wet then if the area gets actually crowded you can quickly fold up the pocket puddle and open the seat this is especially good for women trying to avoid getting crowded by creeps or really just anyone who wants to maintain adequate personal space. There is opportunity here to make a variety of different types of puddles, of different drinks, or maybe even regional food items. Thank you. Genius. That's genius. I like that, but you have to do it on both sides then?

You bring a mousetrap. Mousetrap on one, puddle of Diet Coke on the other. What would you want your puddle to be? Kaka. Probably. Kaka. You get a whoopee cushion. You just have an inflated whoopee cushion next to you, and it's like, if you want to sit down,

you're going to have to make me laugh first. I will say, if it got packed and then you folded up the liquid and put it in your pocket, everyone on the train is going to think you're a wizard or something. Which is even cooler. It's kind of a win-win.

Win-win, yeah. I love that. That is exactly in the Playdate spirit. Maybe if you call right now, they throw in a wizard hat. Yes. Okay. Yep.

My mother and sister went to a high school with a girl named Nguyen Nguyen. It was like Nguyen Nguyen. see asian yeah like you know that name like ng oh yes n-g-u-y-e-n yeah my doctor is named that but it's like nguyen sounds like a good doctor the most popular most popular name in uh some of those countries i had a professor with that last name and i spent the whole semester not knowing how to pronounce it yeah it was yeah i think it's like too many silent letters but it was win-win so it just sounded like win-win in toronto every arrival is a statement and nothing says it

better than this cadillac optic was the number one selling luxury ev in canada for 2025 find your rhythm across a seamless 33 inch display and an immersive 19 speaker akg surround audio system this city demands agility and optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary let's take the cadillac find out more at cadillac canada.ca luxury sales claim based on s&p global mobility canadian new vehicle total registrations for calendar year 2025 for the cadillac definition of luxury nice is that funny r2 kiss kiss r2 give me kiss kiss okay thank you mave that was lovely what's her last name she didn't say wow why because i know mave could have been her she probably would have just said jack she probably would have redressed me like a friend yes

okay this next one is from ellie and live so guys hi girlies hi hi lauren hot dog and hamburger hot dog hamburger the bun geez what is the best part about being a dj oh um everyone wants to hook up with you everyone in that everyone within 50 yards is vying for your attention gonna have to hard disagree on that one what well are you like a famous dj in this yeah that is uh because like there's djs that nobody wants to fuck ever all i know all i know i went to i went to college with a kid who was a pretty not a very well-known dj around town and he's people still want to neck up them just because he was in charge of the he's in charge of the room all right take it back dude billy's right there he's hot doesn't count he is hot yeah his body's awesome okay well

She says you wouldn't actually know because you were not one until now. Our pitch is an AI app partnered with Shazam where you can create song mashups by singing into your phone, combining two songs that you think would sound good together. For a one-time, $1 purchase, you can choose a popular DJ to put their unique sound on it. For example, John Summitt or David Guetta, or become a new DJ with your own producer tag. Q, you know Rick made her.

If you love what you've created. You know Rick made her. You know Rick made it, so it's made right. if you love what you've created you can post it to the app for all your friends to see your cool new beat or if it goes viral enough you could pick up a sale with spotify slash apple music to share it with the world let us know what you think p.s we were tripled writing this i oh okay that's awesome what's your tripled yeah yeah willie's wearing a triple sweatshirt what does that mean what do they say they're tripled right now what's that when you drink a high

um so liam is sort of our stony baloney friend so he would uh he would know a thing or two about being baked off the good kush all right i'm going to the dodgers game tonight whoo i'm freaking stoked about it and you know where you can get tickets to stuff like that seat geek we're going to gracie abrams we're getting our tickets on seat geek i'm going to a different concert for a band called wonder horse i'm getting my tickets on seat geek seeking is the best app for buying tickets uh i've said this before i'm not blowing smoke up your bum i've got the proof right here past events mets mj lenderman a bunch of mets games when they lost most of them a bunch of cool ass concerts cool a word concerts pardon my language uh this is the place to buy tickets you

know what i love is that they'll show you the price with fees so you don't have to worry about these additional fees that come in at the end on other apps i've in the past i would be like oh 70 bucks and then by the time you check out it's like 120 yep they've got everything they've got 28 million downloads and counting number one rated ticketing app and there's more than 70,000 events listed concerts sports festivals whatever you can think of you can get a ticket to it on SeatGeek and guess what we've got a pretty sweet deal you can use code play date for $20 off tickets on SeatGeek that's $20 off your first purchase with promo code play date just make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added

to your account so you can use it later thank you to seat geek as always will and rusty's put it is brought to you by mug root beer will you hear that oh those dogs are barking come on i got that dog in me i'm talking when was the last time you had a root beer uh i had four today before before we even started i'm not even kidding the zero sugar mugs this is my fourth one i've drank today it is uh three o'clock uh might go for the record i love root beer so much i love a root beer float also you ever done that it's the best feels like lately since you've been mugging it up you got that dog in you yeah have you noticed like i've been running around on all fours barking eating out of bowls pooping wherever i want pissing with one leg up i am literally on fire and it's

all thanks to mug you've been doing the zero sugar yeah i like a mug heavy a mug i go i go the regular one i like the no caffeine thing because here's yeah sometimes i just want a soda i don't want to feel jacked up i already got that dog in me when i'm drinking mug i don't need extra caffeine can i just talk about a serious mug moment i had the other day uh i shotgunned four mugs and then i ran outside and i hailed two cabs within 30 seconds that's awesome and i told them to go race each other did they do it i don't know they both just drove away guys next time you are craving that cold frothy soda flavor grab yourself an ice cold mug root beer you can find mug at your local store your local grocery store any pretty much anywhere you get your groceries mug is gonna

be there be the hero anyone everyone likes the guy that walks in with a pack of mug grab yourself a go to their website sure go to their website also if you want i would like that let's get back to the episode lauren what would your producer tag be i don't know i gotta think about it willie producer tag it's wild oh god yeah um because it's like will d but my oh okay It's like wild But with two L's So you've thought about that Probably not

You had it pretty quickly Yeah I made a song Called Song of the Summer And that was We had that at the beginning Can we pull up Song of the Summer

It's wild I think it got erased When are you dropping Another track What When are you gonna Drop another track I'm working on it

Alright But my last one Just got taken off Spotify Why Because my buddy Luke Forgot to like He like changes credit card And I guess it

Charges like Distro kid charges him every month or something there's like a small fee you have to pay every month just to like keep it keep your song on spotify i think it's like a couple bucks and it's made more money than that and how much money is it made okay i don't know like thousands of dollars no probably not that thousand dollars i think it like a few hundred bucks probably mine would be uh rusty you play too much Liam

Cold case color on the beat Or culinary Just culinary Culinary that's yummy Do you ever hear Can I just do acapella song Please Wait let me get in the head space

How old were you when you made this Uh 2020 2021 It was called song of the summer yeah it was like calling your shot a little bit let's do it yeah yeah it was like meet a girl tell her i'm from south carolina first thing that you do is whip out her phone get my digits i'm in it i cannot stop i'm snapping on this beat fuck crackle and pop and you a lucky man if you get

some charm out of me i'm a fan favorite you can call me ctc i should collect a check if i mention one more brand but fuck it i got more bills than toucan sam and uh chucktown yeah that's the city that raised me but i'm a hero in boston like big poppy and brady producer said will make the song of the summer i said that's easy i'm always on a roll like butter ah it's the song of the summer i just made a hit and i think i'll make another it's the song of the summer i just made a hit and i think i'll make another really good and i hate you really yeah um i loved it i have no notes no notes i've seen that video of like pharrell with um uh who wrote alaska with maggie rogers yeah he's like that's

how liam and i felt yeah and i'm like like she's like nervously like is he like yeah i you're like the new clara i do you were originally a rapper before you moved into this this era of music yeah well i had fresh prince of ghana was my rap song i made in high school that we distributed it out cds i sold cds of ghana it was for a my history class we had to do a project on a different country okay and me and thomas mcnerney got ghana in western africa and uh we had to make something about it and we made a rap song and then we made cds and we sold them and then miss grayson found out we were selling them and she said you can't sell anything on school property okay bitch and so i was like so nervous that i donated all the money to als because that was

hot right that was like ice bucket era it was hot and uh but thomas just kept the money and he obviously never got in trouble so then i was like fuck at the time so you you have a similar career trajectory to to role model he was yeah jelly roll and people are saying mgk rapper in the country yeah you know when when we were younger i think he was still in college role model was called uh dillis dillis that was his original because he's a main guy right he went to my high school oh shit I don't know what Dillis meant, but I think Role Model is a much cooler name. Role Model is a great name.

Alright, should we pitch each other? Can I tell you a little bit of the Fresh Prince of Indiana? In Western Africa, born and raised in the salt mines is where I spent most of my days. Chilling out, mining, reclining, all cool. That's all I remember.

I don't think it's going to age as good as you think it is. The salt mine was where you spent most of your days? that's kind of aren't they like slaves there no it's their leading industry actually i think they're like you're thinking like blood diamond more on google how much how much does a person who works in a salt mine in ghana make a day i bet it's under five bucks i think that's like the cobalt what is your point it's like they're messed up no it's like what to say the thing that they do in that country i don't know no no it's i'm like the woke guy uh all right just look up

Ghana industry. Nah, dude. Yeah, probably shouldn't. Why? What is... I don't know, dude. Why do you keep saying this is... Dude, it's just a hot button issue right now.

It's not a hot button. It's just a country. Walking on eggshells. Dude, stop saying... No, it isn't. Look, mining. If you keep saying Ghana, we're going to get flagged. All right, Willie, pitch us.

All right. I guess they make more gold than anything. Yeah, so aren't you... And box tile. Box site? Or no, box site. Oh, fuck. I should change...

Wait, I should probably change the lyric to bauxite. Fuck, that's going to take forever because I already pressed it and everything. Okay. Oh, here we go. The AirPod cord. Okay. When your AirPods die, why isn't there a cord that you can just plug it into your phone? Like basically turn it into wired headphones.

I just don't think there's a big... There's probably not a big enough market for them to... I feel like this is a huge thing for me. No, that's actually great. like i'll like i'll be on a flight and like my airpods die and then it's just like annoying yeah i'm out somewhere my airpods die and it's like okay now i have to like charge them and then wait and i can't listen to music well i always try to have my wired ones on me too just in case yeah like i literally i bring my wired ones when i travel i have the wired ones my back

in case they die yeah that's why do you think this is bad i don't know i don't know i like it i like it i don't wear i don't wear those kinds of airpods so i guess i just haven't run into that problem because my airpods do have a cord that can plug into my phone and then it plays i don't know i know it works on like airplane tvs but i think you could plug it into your phone interesting i just think they should have that for airpods i would really like i'm it i'm like i like it i came around towards you i'm sorry you just came out i came out of the gate hot nervous no i like it okay no notes all right would you do twenty dollars towards it yeah all right i'm down what is the worst part about dating lauren um will you guys are dating um i don't want to

uh good answer it feels like a waste of time sometimes i just i want to be able to just do whatever i want not tell anyone it's it's never anything crazy that's having a girlfriend what did you say dating dating oh like the process of going on dates with like new people oh yeah it's just um it it's it sucks when maybe you start to think maybe it's not the best or you're scared of like letting someone down yeah like it's really i feel like it's rare that like ever people are equally invested yeah you find out her dad's the president you find out her dad's at the coldplay concert with my mom yeah and i'm like holy shit not only are both of our families fucked that's what are the odds because they don't even know that we've been on dates crazy

do you see his uh his daughter's been posting on tiktok i saw one of them yeah is that really i didn't know that i think it's real because she was like she basically posted something being like when your life is whatever and someone commented like rich kid don't feel bad don't care probably crying on a yacht or something and then she replied with her on a yacht and said like yeah i mean i saw that there was like a statement that was totally fake so that part that was hilarious the lights will guide you home fake uh fake twitter account came out and said that he was it was an apology and then it ended up him apologizing for being a coldplay fan wait sorry lauren have you seen this video so it's like these couple at a coldplay concert

and basically one of them is hammered i think and he like falls over right when the camera gets on i think what you you guys were you guys what you guys were trying to say about dating was the worst part is uh you're worried you're going to go on a date with someone who is much better at dating than you and you're on different skill levels right it's like playing tennis it's like not fun if one person's way better exactly uh skill-based dating you you get you now have like a chess ranking on your hinge profile they have a whole show on netflix about this continue sorry they did arrested on it no skill-based dating okay but so you get points for every date you go on they're not all bangers

right and it'll match you with someone who has a similar score so it can be affected if uh you went on like you know multiple dates with someone or just one or whatever and so you don't get caught with someone who uh knows how to date what are you judged by like how do they what is a dating what is being skilled at dating me just like you've been on a ton um you know like the general uh cadence of a date you know how to get out of a date you you've just been on more dates just whatever your your uber rating is basically you've gone yourself in the bathroom come out and say i gotta leave exactly so it matches you with someone who has a similar level of skill for dating that you do okay yeah so that you don't because like

i've only been on one hinge date i wouldn't want to go on someone a date with someone who's been on a hundred for a multitude of reasons but mostly the skill the skill is wait really i feel like if i've only been on one hinge date i don't want to go on a date with someone who's also only been on one because then it's like you're both kind of yeah i kind of agree but i think you're in the same boat then because they've seen what a good date looks like and you haven't so if you're not giving them like the best date they've ever had then they're gonna leave you for another guy is the skill based on skill or is it just based on like time you put in um a combination of the two because like that

Nathan remember in the rehearsal did you watch it I watched season one and a little bit of season two the part where Nathan Fielder was like the pilot said

it had taken me longer than any pilot to become alright wait what it's an app I'm confused you guys hate it

it was just going to be an add on to Hinge you don't have to drag this out any longer it's an app for a boat for a guy for a dog for a fish

got it alright should we hear an am I the asshole Lauren oh yeah are you having fun Liam I'm not the greatest day in my fucking life. Really?

You didn't have a good day? Because this morning, you didn't seem like it. Why? You just seemed really, really bummed this morning. Yeah, I was. Were you actually? No. Oh, okay.

I'm fucking with you, bro. Okay. Willie D effect. Bro's mind's in a pretzel. I asked Willie D yesterday, I was like, when's the last time you kicked someone in the nuts? And he was like, COVID. Did you actually? Yeah.

Oh, no, I didn't actually. When was the last time you were kicked or kneed in the balls? I remember, I think it was like 12, my brother got me bad. This kid named Matt Martin one time, we were playing basketball in the cul-de-sac, and I was on the ground, and he put his hand out to help me up, and then he just pulled me directly into a knee to the balls. And I still, I'm sure he's a lovely guy now, I still have fantasies about doing horrible things to him.

That hurt so bad. my sister kicked me in the balls at a wedding a couple months ago or before a wedding and uh i tried to explain to her because i don't think they realize how bad it hurts like i almost threw up and i had to be like you don't understand it's not like a fun it's not a fun little thing for me like that it feels like you're dying they say it hurts just as bad as childbirth yeah and that's true yeah i know wait what are you guys talking about i was looking for my getting kicked in the there's no way that it hurts as much as childbirth for a brief moment they say it's the same

it's the same level of pain have you ever had a child? no I just feel like have you ever been kicked in the nuts? so it feels like we have more to work on here than you do yeah childbirth seems fucking terrifying seems easy

yeah honestly I think anyone can do it I think they have like creams and ointments for it now they have opioids you can literally just take opioids and then it's fine Great, I think that actually it's called an epidural a lot of a lot of they just take it and then the baby just slides out Well, you're like Tripping out. Well, what's that like Willie D? What's in that plastic what you said it slides out like Willie D. What did you say? Oh

Like in the video. Yeah, this is sesame bar Ingredients sesame seed sugar happens. Sorry. Sorry reading the ingredients. He's stimming now standing. Okay, I think hey all of the pod please keep anonymous um what do we want to name him cory nice cory dylan he's a bangles running back and patriots cory says i'm on a rotational program for work and i've been offered the chance to work in the united states next year my girlfriend and i've been together for over five years she has said that if i were to go it wouldn't work between us so am i the asshole if i go what where does he live it doesn't say where he lives he just has an opportunity to come is there like something in his bio that maybe says where he lives it's

It's a Google form. Also, why does that? Because it would depend where he's moving. If it's Canada, then it's different. So we don't have a lot to go off of here. I wish we knew how long they've been together, where he currently lives. Oh, they've been together for over five years.

Oh, he said that? Yep. Did you read that? Yep. Well, is he going to marry her? How hot is she? I don't know. What are her dimensions?

Yeah. What are his dimensions? what's the length of why don't we start asking that yeah no you're not the asshole you go do whatever you want yeah lauren yeah lauren lauren um knows firsthand how hard it is to leave a job and leave people that you love behind um so oh fuck i forgot she's quitting i know i thought that was a dream this morning uh i would say it completely depends we don't have enough information if you love her then you should stay it sounds like he doesn't because you just be like no i can't go i have my love of my life oh yeah it's a good point in my opinion

it says she has said that if i were to go it wouldn't work between us i think her not being open-minded is like if they've been together for that long and you're going to be that just no if you go this isn't going to work that's weird but if you're significant other move to another country i would say it's safe to say that that's fair of her was it a permanent thing or is like a it's a rotational program so it doesn't sound like it oh so she wants out also because i'm on a rotational program he's like he's a figure skater it's a long-term thing it's just uh i would say no not the asshole it seems like she is planting the seed early that if you leave she's gonna break out with you so that you're not shocked i would say uh put your career over

your relationships because i think no one's gonna no one's gonna remember about like the love you shared with them it's only gonna be about like how much work you did it's all about roi so yeah yeah and is if i would say number one is what's the best for the shareholders right stakeholders too yeah yeah okay good luck with that um i'm sorry that one uh if there there wasn't enough information to give like a serious i just he's because it's it was so short like this man's probably actually stressed about this yeah i don't think our answer is gonna like really be the thing yeah that's true yeah no you're you're probably not the asshole to leave he gets he watches back he's like that is not what i wanted to hear but all right he's kind of leaning the

other way but i have another one this one is actually long so try to follow good morning rusty willie and lauren e for the sake of this story let's just call me crouton so i grew up in a tiny town where everyone knows everyone i graduated high school four years ago but we still all party together from time to time nice sick this story begins at a halloween party some kid i don't recognize starts chatting me up he's drunk and loki follows me around like a little puppy all night we vibe but i don't even know his name i just think he's two years younger than me next morning at the debrief my roommate also my childhood best friend hits me with hey remember that kid you were talking to all night that's crutch not his real name but we keep going she

goes on to tell me that crutch graduated three years after me so when i was a senior he was a freshman i did not need to wait what i did not need to know that turns out her little sister stop that was just a funny sentence to get hung up on bro i did not need to what i did not need to know that i feel like if it if if if the text blacked out you could have whatever i got confused who's crutch again he's just a kid that graduated he was a freshman and she saw him and she was talking to him at this party and then the the um crouton saw crotch so it says yeah got it um turns out her little sister so this girl's little sister has had a crush on crutch so why do we have fucking name him that since first grade fantastic i was going to just leave that interaction in the

grave and digress immediately and i mean immediately however i find out crutch does stand-up comedy which obviously i find super hot unfortunately uh-oh cola first of all get yourself go see a therapist if you think doing open mics is sexy it is man you're putting yourself out there i've liam i've watched you do stand-up and it is hot it's hot i have touched myself to some of was jamming the van clips thank you brother yeah thank you um so we follow each other on instagram that was the extent of it until nine months later another party with the same people different holiday drinks are flowing inhibitions are low next day i know crutch and i are in alone in a room together getting it on now i'm getting it on getting it on i love that i love

like sex at a party while it's happening that's kind of awesome and that's hot so now i'm trying to process am i the asshole for sleeping with my best friend's little sister's longtime crush am i the am i extra the asshole for keeping it a secret from my best friend and her family am i a cougar for sleeping with a 19 year old at 22 long time playmate i love you guys saying thank you for being an easy cheerful listen let's start with the easy one yes you're a cougar nothing wrong with that uh i think that you even if you weren't ashamed of it you should keep it from the family i wouldn't tell until their dad yeah i wouldn't post online about it right yeah uh and i think that if she has such a crush on this guy why is he why is he getting it on with

you in uh in a sexy bedroom during a party yeah she should be yeah she should be making some moves she just because she likes him doesn't mean that she owns him uh i would say nta yeah i think i agree yeah i agree nta i think you're fine you're good girl don't don't tweak uh all right should we do this guy rocks yeah like that i have one that i am so excited about this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard where is it there's rocks my heart i just sent it well can you throw me one of those jelly things please lauren pause this immediately and i mean immediately yeah let me just send this uh message real briefly okay this is a guy named samuel

gardner and he you know you know him nope but he feels like i do yeah i was about to say you're gonna you're gonna know this guy shortly he specializes in okay he specializes in a type of content where they will mix two colors together and he tries to guess what color those two colors

are going to make when mixed together. It changes every time. What? It changes every time. It does change and he he's been getting a little flack for maybe his method and let's give it a shot.

I'm guessing the colour of your skull in the comments. I'm going to say tangerine. Mustard and ketchup equals tangerine, does it? And I would be correct. Berry plus crystal blue. Dusty seafoam. That's what I'm going to say. That's what I'm going to say.

But guys, how are you guys doing? I hope you guys enjoy this. I got it correct. Okay, okay. The top comment. I can see the guilt in your eyes. You know the sins you're committing. You might be thinking, sometimes people think I cheat, but I'm not.

I'm not. Okay? I got it correct, though. Hey? Okay. You didn't say it. I'm actually not. You didn't say it.

I don't know what this one is. So you get the gist. Yeah. But the funniest part about this is, I saw this video. I'm like, I got to see. Because he got a million comments being like, we know you looked, Samuel. he has since started posting videos where he gets them wrong on purpose to try and counteract it and all the comments are still uh like we can see right through you samuel we know exactly what

you're doing i'm gonna say tangerine i'm gonna say dusky seafoam that's the best part is like their colors are clearly the account that's making the video made up oh that's so funny is this his whole thing yeah go watch his recent ones that are pretty i think he's the man i love him wow i would vote for this guy go to his reels learn yeah i know you would okay go to black or purple you'd fucking can't so make sure you leave your score in the comments i'm gonna say purple black so he i gotta he'll post one where he gets all of them wrong and all the comments are like it's the same odds

that you would have gotten all of them wrong. Right. No. Oh, man. Orange or blue? I like the way you said no there.

Yeah, I do too. I like the performance he added. I would like to sample that. I like that guy. No. That's my producer tag. No.

All right, Willie's... No, my producer tag is him going dusky seafoam. This is like a truly heartwarming video I found of a baby.

yep oh man is that powerful yeah it's powerful stuff jesus can i can i do one bonus one please if it's anything like that please this will do numbers on facebook who like that is the saddest thing in the world because someone had to type into an ai prompt give me a one-legged baby yeah uh singing this song and then have our lord and savior jesus christ behind him yep where's the video what am i doing when you hit the penjamin but you have to go to church with your family are you guys doing anything crazy this weekend i'm going to the dodgers game tonight oh you're going and then i'm going my sister's here and then we're going to dana point tomorrow for the day and then sunday i'm gonna go thrifting oh yeah jam-packed jam-packed

weekend okay yeah i'm gonna go see superman tomorrow nice i'm going to san diego what are you doing san diego we're supposed to have a show oh this must be the italian school oh there's should we get them in here no okay well he's here podcast edge in our morning meeting today was like All right, there is an Italian class coming by to tour the office today. So just everyone keep an eye out for that. Okay, let's see. Anyway, we were supposed to go to San Diego for work, and then our show got canceled, so I'm just going to go hang out with my cousin.

Okay, go. New from Nespresso. Blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, Like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function and Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight, our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you.

Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com. What could the Italians possibly be doing that warrants that much of a... What? Round of applause. You like that one? I like that one. Can you look at the comments?

I don't think the Italians are doing anything. I think they're clapping for, like, speeches. Edge. We look out, Edge is doing, like, cartwheels across the room. They're all like... He's doing bunny hops on his electric scooter. Puts a stick on the ground. He's like, I'm about to hop this.

I'm about to ollie this thing. all right shut up italians grandma are you there all right should we do teach me something teach me something in the ninth century pope gregory the fourth noticed something alarming every time someone sneezed people would casually say reflective reflexively say god bless you uh he thought this was too casual of a way to fight off the plague uh so he declared sneezing a spiritual event and made it mandatory for christians to say god bless you seriously every time or after every sneeze in fact during particularly bad plague years the blessing was expected to be said loudly sometimes with a full prayer tacked on in the event that the person

who sneezed immediately dropped dead after. We should bring that back. I'm down. Should we vote? Yes. Okay, cool. That was easy.

Lauren? Yes. All right, unanimous. Cool. That is... What year was this? This was in the 9th century. Oh, that was a fucking

hot minute ago. A while ago. That was a fun one. I gotta teach me something. Come on, buddy. Do you guys know the number one,

the top baby names of 2024? Okay. Liam. Will. Correct. John. Olivia.

Yeah. Oh, that's fun. Those are one for boy and girl. I thought you would think that was fun. Yeah, it's fun. Wait, is your real name William?

Are you William? No, no, it's just Liam. I'm Irish. I actually just noticed that. But I thought what was crazier was that the number four boy name was theodore really i don't know one motherfucking name theodore i know a couple i know i know talking chipmunk i know talking chipmunk and i don't know one damn boy human that that we talk about this probably too much

but you know that meme of the three chipmunks where it's like who get in the best head like that's it that is that's the type of meme that sean would said yeah exactly all right uh should we Liam you're the guest would you like to start with curb plots or Harry Potter themed drinks

cocktails plots but I can teach you something okay Count Dooku's hilt he custom designed

because he like the actor no no no like the in the lore okay the real Count Dooku custom designed it

because it's completely offensive and his style of fighting is oh that's sick like 99% I didn't find it very offensive.

So he's put him up. That's it. I like that a lot. That is interesting. What does that mean, though? Like, you couldn't go defensive? No, it's like all attack. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

I love that. All right, Willie, should we do, let's do some curb plots? Yeah. Tee it up, brother. These are more curb your enthusiasm plots that don't exist. Larry only has a backpack as his carry-on and thinks that because he doesn't have a roller bag he should be able to put his backpack in the overhead bin instead of under the seat in front of him a guy boards the plane late and makes a

scene asking what inconsiderate asshole would put his backpack in the overhead bin instead of under his seat larry doesn't say anything dude what could the italians possibly be so excited about they gotta be the ones clapping there's not that many people um uh oh and then larry sorry What did I say? A guy boards the plane at the last second and very loudly makes a scene asking what inconsiderate asshole would put his backpack in the overhead bin when there's space under the seat in front of them. Larry doesn't say anything. He tries to sneakily get off the plane, grabbing his backpack, and they get into a huge argument, and he says that he shouldn't be punished for being an efficient packer. I like that.

I like that. I've thought about that before. Do you want me to do one, or do you have one? I have zero. A bird poops in Larry's coffee while he's sitting outside a coffee shop. He brings it inside, and the employees refuse to make him another one for free. Larry argues that since the bird was on their property when it pooped, he should get a free coffee. That night, Larry has his friends over for dinner and tells everyone the story.

And then while they're eating dinner outside, a bird poops on somebody's steak. Larry now begrudgingly has to go cook them another steak out of principle. That's fantastic. uh larry is tired of having to like the post that say 20 stay 20 seconds to pay for my medical treatment have you seen those it's like stay for the whole video yeah uh he reluctantly likes one and then looks up and sees the person whose post he just liked buying a new designer purse he goes up and asks if she's the same person from the post and she says yes he asks her if she's using his like and share money to buy the purse instead of using it for medical expenses and she refuses

to answer well larry gets flicked off for honking at a biker who is driving in the middle of the road he speeds around the guy angrily by driving in the bike lane and then gets pulled over for driving in the bike lane he has to make the case to the officer that driving in the bike lane should be allowed if there's a guy biking in the road i like that i like that larry's neighbors lane weird that one time do you notice that i didn't oh really no hopefully in the clip it's not like what the fuck did you say lane like all the comments are saying larry's neighbor is having a yard sale and larry sees a blur band tee that he thinks looks cool he starts wearing it around and it's making him feel more confident larry gets invited to the oasis reunion concert and

goes wearing the t-shirt not knowing about the two bands beef with each other when they get invited backstage to meet the band after the show liam gallagher tells larry he's a twat for wearing that shirt to their concert and he gets banned from any future shows wait they have a beef blur noises they hate each other always or blur is also blur doesn't really feel like on the same level as oasis to me they were both they were battling it out for like for like brit pops like they would like trade blows for who got like more brits per year interesting uh there was also i saw a clip uh blur was very mean to nard war during their interview they were like like bullying him and like taking his hat off oh fuck like being pull that up learn look up blur blur bullying nard

war it's the sad it'll make you never want to listen to songs yeah there's a bunch of people that are mean to him how do you spell this fucking thing not with a g i think just like nard w u a r that was me nard war yeah close do you not know who nard war is no i do it's I don't like Narwhal vs. Blur actually this is way too long but go watch it at home they like take his hat off

it's really sad alright should we do Harry Potter themed cocktail woohoo and we go woohoo when I left The Question my band

yep I moved to South Carolina I was the lead singer of a band and I had to leave I've seen it online right and so they didn't

The Question didn't go away they just got a new singer King McClane stepped in And that was the first cover they did After I left Is they did a cover of that song Was it good? It just never felt the same to me

Yeah It was hard to watch A lot of people say that The question fell off Yeah Alright these are Harry Potter themed cocktails The Nagini Tini I like that

Is that a snake? Yeah Oh oh oh yes yes yes uh the expecto patronum that's really good i like that uh the tonicky weasley it's like a ginny gin and oh fuck i should have i think what you were looking for was the gin knee weasley right the gin knee weasley oh i got one the mud blood slide yes like that gosh dude that's off the dome dude this one feels like someone should have thought of this a vodka cadaver that's really good i love that the goblet of fireball love that the maitai again alley

nice lord vodka mort hogs mead it's just mead i like that neville long or neville long bottomless mimosa oh and they have to keep refilling it i mean i had the um hagrid hagrid's old-fashioned i like that full that one's just an old-fashioned the half blood pint i like it it's an ipa i like that a lot and it's tasting shit all right wait quidditch margarita Wait I got one more I got one more Keep them coming dude

These are all hits I got one It's the Gryffindor Aperol Spritz Alright We're gonna finish up here with Rusty's song of the day we got 3900 of you following right now when we hit 10 000 followers on the playlist uh

you're just getting 101 dollars two of you sorry today what the fuck today we have for sure by future islands uh it is that's kind of that sounds like a band you'd listen to i thought you're gonna say future no that would be cool too but uh it is it reminds me of like old fifa it feels i think it is in an old fifa maybe that's why i like oh really but it is it's a great song willie and i listened to it on the way to disneyland the other day uh so go follow that playlist and for your chance to win 101 dollars and liam's gonna chip in so it's 102 now okay i will liam what should they comment today comment um oh that's a good question what should they comment um help comment a uh crayola color that doesn't exist yes

all right thank you guys so much for listening have a great rest of your what the voldemort manhattan have a great rest of your wednesday have a great rest of your week have a lovely weekend and we will see you right early on monday uh the fat muggle mr. Dursley that's good the mr. Dursley martini

what's that myrtle girl moaning myrtle the moaning myrtle margarita that's a banger thanks for having me on guys thank you so much for coming drive safe bye guys

Thanks for watching!