Will & Rusty's Playdate - get sox’d

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

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okay before we get going and i just want to address the elephant in the room do you want to say it should i andrew do you want to say it uh you got it i'm wearing ankle socks today yeah what are you freaking out about i'm not freaking out about it i've heard you bring this up to multiple people no people keep bringing it up to me really redmond said it's not very stylish and i was like anyone else said that uh edge said it was definitely a look did you ask edge yes so did you ask redmond no so redmond brought it up unprovoked maybe he's living in your head maybe i did ask i feel like you're i don't know i just thought that like maybe this is my new thing and i still think that but like he was wearing black mid-caps and told me that

my ankle socks aren't stylish what kind of socks do you want me to wear i just have these socks i get them on amazon i think my run i get them on amazon i get them on your cousin who sucks your cousin i get my socks on amazon your cousin who sucks your cousin your cousin who has socks your cousin who's soft yeah so i got these on amazon i got myself on amazon your cousin uh definitely what are you doing with the camera it's always fucking zooming in on rusty sack quit it quit it zooming in on it um no but here's the thing yeah i think it's fine i don't think it's like just not a thing that should be a focus of mine yeah i think you're hyperfinksating i think i'm hyperfinksating i'm saying it weird right what's your hoodie say

andrew camp flogna that's a camp he went to this is where i saw chad camino for the first and only time and probably last time because i don't think he'll ever perform again ever ever i think he's too happy with his kids oh i hate when that shit happens when people get happy with their kids he had a stroke he had a stroke childless gambino had a stroke yeah he had a hole in his heart and uh it caused a blood clot to be one of the worst places to go up to his brain i thought that was just like a seizure and a stroke gee recently uh it was like a year or two ago it was right before i was supposed to see him in houston like i was literally boarding the plane to houston from la and uh my friend called me and he goes check your phone and i looked and it was like

tour is canceled did you still get on the plane yeah and i just like hung out with my buddies oh you still have friends there okay i had friends there and um yeah sadika lives in yeah we had just started dating sadika and i had just started dating so she lives in houston i didn't know that yeah yeah does she work in oil she wishes um she wishes she worked in oil no she uh wishes she works in oil she works in oil kind of what i'm gathering from the situation is she's not in oil but yet she doesn't her job isn't selling oil or manufacturing it but she works in oil like she's her job can still she stands in a vat of oil while she got it pharmaceuticals got it she loves oil got it yeah so is that a hard job to get into i feel like there are gotta be a

million oil barons the oil baron we were talking about this the other day we need more like did seem like oil baron looking up a girl that you met at the bar and she's an oil baron it's like good for her so what it what is a bit we're just refresh my memory what is a baron i think it has a negative content a lot of oil no because red baron's a pizza yeah did we have the same conversation like a week ago because i asked you what i asked someone what a baron was and then you said a red baron pizza joke definitely not digiorno i don't know delivery wait for my baron is like a delivery or i don't know is it delivery or digiorno you know newman's own is like a nascar driver wait really paul newman or is he an actor paul newman was an actor who

died in a car crash you fucking asshole is that what i was thinking about wait no no that's not paul newman that's uh james dean google paul newman james dean died in a fiery someone someone we just gave someone a stroke google newman's own miscal from fast and furious right no miscal yeah no paul walker paul walker yeah paul newman so that james dean had this porsche that they called like little bastard or something and paul newman jesus fuck it's not how you spell newman either oh that is how you spell newman uh oh he died in 2008 whoa actor director producer race car driver whoa okay they're pissed entrepreneur go to his wikipedia but if it's like i feel like oh he's

just in cars or what is that yeah i said i list him as a race car i feel like at some point you get famous enough that like anything you do isn't now an occupation he won several national championships oh oh he was doc hudson in cars paul newman was doc hudson in cars i thought paul newman would have been dead like way oh he's from shaker heights you know who else is from there your girlfriend kid cuddy oh wait i think the kelsey's pull up pull up james dean little bastard so this car go to images this car that that second picture is the is the like mangled wreck so some guy bought it after this and restored it and i believe he died in a car crash in this they someone i can't remember who said this but every person that's had it it's fucking

crashed i think it's in a haunted museum now but some other guy got in the car with him and told him that this car is evil and then he died google uh james dean ai to make his butt look big don't fucking google that don't you fucking you keep your finger off that keyboard i was googling to see if they still made those little four locos um since we talked about it yeah the 12 ounce four locos i don't think so i think they discontinued them after you got them canceled i literally wonder if that made it to them probably oh they definitely knew about it four loco i'm sure every brand you've ever done one of us been sent it no really yeah yeah i'm sure because like no there's not that many people making polonie content i'm like stress testing

their product yeah we were we were talking about like discontinued alcoholic drinks like uh do you remember when bang had like a alcoholic drink bang energy this is like an energy drink oh they were like what was up with that guy he was like paying he got into some trouble right the owner of bang oh is that why bang made a hard drink yeah yeah yeah they made like a rocket fuel can you google hard bang it didn't taste like it it tastes good google hard bang google bang hard hard bang hard bang is russian idiom yeah so this is what they were it was hard tea how much caffeine was in it uh there was none because it's illegal now to put caffeine into an alcoholic drink yeah oh my god yeah but um they tasted good man i used to bring them to every party drinking these yeah i would

bring them to every party and nobody else hard bangs hard bang you ever ask a girl if she wants a hard bang that's like when people are like ask they ask want to bang hard if you want to if you want to kiss and then like children will like on valentine's day whatever andrew's just going around the party being like do you want a hard bang or bang hard you want to bang hard nobody ever wanted so yeah i mean i don't blame them you were showing up to parties with hard bang like exclusively how are you like a party how are you like a normal guy would you actually bring these they tasted good you bought this regularly yes they tasted good they tasted like actual bang energies but and that's what you want at a party uh why not just have a beer i think i wasn't into

beer yet to be honest so the next logical step is hard hard bangs no at the time i would kill for a hard bang right now high noons existed white claws existed i mean i was already drinking like a bang a day and so it was kind of just made sense to how are you and the night with like i'm shocked you don't have like three eyes all right all right let's prank him let's prank andrew let's prank uh name a show name a show quickly um um i don't know i haven't seen any show let's what's the show we've seen let's malcolm in the middle i haven't seen that okay which one we both seen game of thrones no we're not old breaking back breaking back has he seen that i don't know what about like um the boston red socks in yellow socks him yeah

wait who slid into dustin petroia he's still out he's the man um thank you slime oh my god wait listen to this andrew have you met my buddy dustin yet no he is he jacob's friend he's jacob's friend and he had he just moved to brentwood so we took him out last night we're at the bar this fucking guy i don't he dustin has come i don't really know yet comes back from the bar and he's standing at the bar and a guy i swear to god a guy slide tackles like slides into him and like hits his ankle out from under him and we were like are you fucking joking at the bar at the bar this is like i think he was like a caught up in

the world cup whatever like slid into his ankle and like seriously hurt him cleats up well i mean he was wearing yeah he was i don't know what he was wearing but yeah that's a red card dude so we're like what the fuck but we're like none of us are fighters so he goes back to over with his friends and our buddy um joe kelly have you met joe kelly yet no he's wait he's pulling deep into his bed wait is this like no it's kale why kale oh okay joe kelly orders a bucket of high noons and starts throwing them at the guy and so the bartender now comes out and like ejects them basically from the bar what it's like you guys are both out you can't come back for he called it games he's like you can't come back for five games or something what like five world cup games

yeah like no like i think like nights or i don't know everyone was all back around and so he ejects joe kelly and the guy's name was like odor or something like just the randomest guy ejects them both from the bar and then yeah that was the whole fucking what isn't that crazy wait i'm that sounds like the craziest night dude alex cora like lost his fucking marbles it was wait who's alex cora is he isn't he the manager at that bar he met oh my god yeah so he wasn't working that night but he yeah he's the manager so he's now the manager he's now the manager he wasn't at the time he was just with us um who was the manager at the time i don't know uh wait five games it was weird dude he suspended them for five games oh like five like you can't were you guys watching

the world cup yeah okay so he can't come back for like five world cup games so like after what a crazy like metric dude so yeah you know is that the same bar where there are benches on either side and dude people join people like the bench is cleared to like separate odor and benches at the bar yeah on either side of the walk to like watch the the game in the middle which is pool uh bench clearing brawl to like get joe kelly and odor away from each other is this like is this like um what's that stay golden pony boy like the greasers and like yeah yeah yeah like they're like snap or whatever yeah yeah in college i did a super similar thing did i not tell you as similar as it could be in the context of the most ridiculous story i've ever heard but

the at the bar that i was working at when i was bartending there was this guy that was like always there ruben and uh the he was there and this other guy chase was like hammered and just kicked him straight like wasn't he like allegedly he was like trying to get to his beer or something but he he didn't even make an attempt to get to his beer right and just kicked the guy and snapped his leg what i swear to god and they he had to get like medically evacuated yeah from the from the bar and they had like when they drove it was like that beer garden they drove the ambulance like into the well no like right up to the entrance but then they they made it we had to make a new rule like it completely changed bars forever because they had to make a new rule that

you couldn't slide unless you were trying to get your beer bars forever and then and then two nights later this other guy comes over this there was a senior at bc named zidane yeah and he headbutted a guy oh well it was that french he it was the french guy right that's so funny oh my god dude so my dad was telling me this story uh they had this beer pong tournament in 2003 in boston oh okay or 2004 maybe and uh it was it was them versus like these new york guys like so it was the boston guys versus the new york guys in this beer pong tournament and it's like a like national like no no it was like god it was like buddies from college they do the new england guys versus the new york guys okay they like meet in boston it's

like where they moved after college yeah yeah oh and uh we kind of have that in my career too yeah and so bless you so the way they do it is they stretch it out it's a seven game series for beer pong wow dude the new york guys win the first three games so they're up three nothing my dad uh and his friend david and kevin millar and i think david robinson was also there they're all rollins guys like the basketball player no not like the basketball player like the baseball player like the baseball yeah you just play for the reds you just play for the red sox david robinson yeah and uh and so they win the first they win the fourth game and everyone's like who cares like you'd be better off winning they're losing you know they're just gonna smoke you anyways

and so my dad and david not robinson the other david his last name's escaping me for some reason uh are going and david goes on this like heroic run and then my dad they like had this rule where you could like pinch throw for guys and so david robinson comes in and is pinch throwing for my dad and sets up Kevin Millar, who then comes in for David Ortiz. Long story short, they came back. You blew it. Fuck you. The whole team, like, Boston Red Sox players.

My wires got crossed. You got Red Sox. I forgot what it was. All, like, five of those things. Since you got back. Like, baseball. You guys are going to hell for how many times you said, I swear to God.

Yeah, that first. my wires got the first story the first story was uh odor i think his name was odor was like a was or no i'm mixing up like three stories whoever slid into dustin pedro and like blew out his ankle then joe kelly threw at him and then there was like a bench clearing brawl got it and then i think i i every time i try to tell a story i panicked and it was like four different stories happening at the same time i was chased out at least slid into ruben tejada and broke his leg it was like class these are all best dodgers game and then zanadine zidane's headbutt in the world cup final how did you not realize when will said and then they made a rule where you're allowed to

slide as long as you're going for your i thought it was like a bit all right well you kind of got red socks i guess david david i was like oh that's the one he's gonna know you expect me to not know big poppy no i got i just my wires got crossed and i got confused was he actually in that game david ortiz yeah david ortiz was like the mayor the fucking mayor of that series he had he had like multiple multiple multiple like career defining hits in that series was that the one where he like had like three home runs in the series that like were like um what do you call them walk-offs walk-offs yeah he had a he had at least one but he had a couple like i think he had like more walk-off rbis like it was just like okay he needed

to get a guy in but that yeah that series was i was two but that series was awesome there was a guy who i think is a red sox fan who is like notorious for um wanting to miss traffic so like as soon as like david ortiz would hit the walk-off you'd see him behind home sprint out of like the stadium because he'd be like that's the game and then he'd like try to run out so they didn't hit make traffic on the way out i remember when i was when i was a kid thinking baseball games were so long and like not being able to make it they're like trying to convince my dad like yeah dude let's just leave and now now i can sit not because of the pitch clock not because of the pitch clock the game i went to on the fourth of july was like five hours long are you serious it was so

was it nine innings yeah i mean maybe no it was probably like three something but so one of my friends thinks he can do the 999 challenge in four innings do you think that's possible i i know it's there's no shot we i've done it twice and it was fucking impossible it was like down this was pre pitch clock too yeah it was like down to the wire and like i don't really do well with eating that much uh-huh but and if he can if he can really eat then maybe he could do it in five innings but i don't i mean falbo eats so much and it took him like all nine i think as well yeah right i don't know wow i wasn't there joe palm threw up and then did he eat his throw i think he might have eaten his throw up to win but don't quote me on that i mean better than

eating your poop to win an ass fucking competition like corporate that's like guy got guy who doesn't really understand corporate jargon how far you can go i'd rather do that yeah it's like eating your own poop to win an ass fucking contest i mean who's who's the who's the president who's the president again refresh my memory who's the president again why didn't they wake you up and you're like who's the president because like you were in a coma yeah like do you remember like who's the president you say bart simpson it's like kill him now i ordered uh president's cologne the other day what's that mean like i was no i saw oh like trump clone no i saw a video about uh it was like this guy does a series

on like famous people's cologne from history and he was going through all the ones that jfk wore and i googled the one that i've since found out the perfume company may have made up the whole story but the story went that jfk was in the french riviera and smelled this guy and was like you smell unbelievable what is that and he was the guy that made the cologne they hadn't they weren't selling it and he wrote the guy and asked for some samples he wanted eight for himself and one for his brother bob and so they the cologne is now called eight and bob and then all the comments on other videos after i'd bought it were like yeah it's kind of largely accepted that they just made up that story so i guess he never wore he may have worn this he may not have worn this

but i'm gonna cologne i'm gonna smell like jfk next week i want to know that's i mean i'm excited no i want to know like how long has that been a thing cologne yeah like were they stinky and like not showering but then they'd put cologne on i think they do like it was like a bunch of flowers and shit in yeah it was like early cologne i think like everyone had to wear it you click on the wikipedia dude like women's dresses i bet they didn't wash them like ever did you know do you know where cologne started france i guess cologne yeah and cologne germany oh germany yeah france was a bad guess i guess they're like the stinky ones right i think so are french people still stinky or is that like a is that like kind of a dated i think

that's like you're not supposed to say that got it it's like saying americans are all like racist um hot it's like saying americans all have cheeto fingers oh my god we had this it guy in our middle school that you have cheeto fingers one time like he was eating cheetos when we came into his office it was i never saw him with it again oh this was in this gonna be sad it wasn't nice i can tell you that much i didn't i was i never perpetuated this narrative but there was a group of kids who his name was mr lund and they'd call him cheeto fingers lund or something like that like a bulky nickname yeah a mouthful hey cheetos fingers lund it wasn't it was not they're probably the best nickname that they also they weren't the smartest bunch of kids that came

out not that i was part of the smart crew but they're the smartest bunch of kids uh they were cut like i mean ben lewaldy oh my god last time i talked about ben lewaldy he dm'd me so ben lewaldy when i think of smart kids i think of you well remember there was like a section of the episode that was like 30 minutes dedicated to him ben lewaldy yeah oh yeah we talked about him once and then the whole section was lauren just named it that or something yeah i had named him i named it that but yeah it was like 30 minute section he's like oh my god they talked about me for 30 the uh the kids that named him that were like foot were like middle school they named him ben lowelby no named him like cheeto fingers oh uh they were really into popping milk cartons do

you remember doing that you'd finish your milk and then you'd close it up and you'd like and it would it could like make a like bomb noise in the in the uh cafeteria one of them the kid who came up with it uh we were all like eating lunch and he came up and smashed one of those and then goes this means war and i think thought like a food fight was gonna start out but there's none of us reacted you should have fought him no are you ever in a food fight no i feel like there was a lot of being a kid that i like i thought was only in tv shows food fights are i have to be a tv show thing i've never met okay but yeah but you said you were like hitting mailboxes with oh my god and stuff no it wasn't it was never baseball bats we got into a phase where we'd throw watermelons at

street signs like in a car so you could like you'd have it in a half and then you drive by and you could kind of just lob it and physics would take care of the rest and it made the noise it made was loud multiply the loud multiply what you think it sounds like by a hundred street sounds like stop signs yeah or like yield was kind of a big one because a stop sign you can't you can't be going fast into a stop sign or like pedestrian crossing i guess now that i'm saying this how loud this all sounds or like uh blind kid in neighborhood yeah there's a sign in my in my neighborhood that says like autism or uh autistic child or whatever it's like how am i i don't even know how to change my driving based on like a deaf one i don't think you're the one

needs to change his driver buddy it's me i'm like i've lived here for i've lived here since they put this sign up and i've never seen him once but like how do you how do you change how do you drive differently like yo heads up with the knowledge that there's a kid within shouting maybe swerve a bunch they like like straight lines and like yeah they like order i think maybe stop and start a bunch yeah i mean they put the sign up the day i moved in and i never i've never seen the autistic kid they have one outside of my in my neighborhood this is a guy with a huge ding dong lives here so that's weird hung child lives here hung young hung man child child hung like horse young young hung man sounds like the second baseman for the san francisco giants

and rounding out the infield young hung man and young hung man steps to the plate oh my god did you see that announcer that he was uh fuck lollard just showed me there there's an announcer for some mlb team who just out of nowhere goes on this rant about how none of his kids are gonna have kids and how his bloodline's gonna end that was keith hernandez that's a mess yes exactly were you watching that game no i saw the clip of it though what the fuck was that about yeah it was really weird it was like sad there's i mean i understand that like there's enough downtime in baseball where like yeah they talk about anything they start podcasting at some point but like that

feels like insane also at one point he was like so two of my children will probably not have kids not gonna get into y you're like what does that mean are they like are they gay or they does he not think they are ever gonna meet anyone did his son get like castrated i don't know i have no idea i saw that too though it was very bizarre i mean the mets are just falling apart in new ways their broadcasters like getting depressed it's kind of like a top down it's an organizational problem put it this way if we're above 500 he's not talking about that like that is a consequence of the play on the field young hung man put the out by the way i think we've watched it before on this podcast but the nick castellano thing yeah you've seen that where the guy says something

like racist fly ball into i think he what did he say the f word oh maybe you said the f word and then and then yeah and at the end it's happened all right don brenneman signing off uh this might be the last time you hear from me guys didn't we look it up and he's in like a minor league look it up i think isn't tom brenneman than h in tom he's the lead announcer for cw sports college football games okay okay golfers wait have you ever seen that can you look up uh uh go to youtube there's another one where the announcer is like that's a put up that's a little gay announcer yeah have you seen this andrew i think i have this is an all-timer down it looks like a pass that needs to be caught yeah you can't use your shoulder to catch a

football you've got to get your hands out there every night that i'm out there with my kids working on catching the football they want to use their body it's just a natural instinct as a human being but you've got to learn to be able to put the ball in your hands your hands are what makes it possible your shoulder pads are hard and stiff your hands are are tender and they can move and caress the ball that's that's kind of that's kind of gay but hey close fourth down and nine coming in trouble at all for that i don't know it's like i think that i think he might have yeah 15 years ago i think he might have just just fucking gotten away with it that's kind of gay that is like oh my do you think he knew that he wasn't supposed to say that

i mean 15 years ago i think it was like he felt it right after i mean yeah there was a silence you could tell the guy the next one was probably like what are you doing uh and there's a youtube video playing oh no bang put on steely damn bro put on we were so born but it's staying a little damn steely damn i love you baby and i love your hands okay i was gonna say when we were on the topic cologne yeah uh in my marketing class we watched this video on this girl who's like a pro sniffer and uh went to college with a few pro sniffers shit she like apparently had she was german and she had one of the best noses in the world for like smelling things not like looks aesthetics but she was the one that would create smells for certain like um hotel chains so if

you've ever walked into like the same hotel no matter where you are in the world it has a signature smell so you can always kind of feel like you're at home yeah she would be the ones that would like concoct like a smell to put in the air ducts of these different hotels wow so she'd work with like the four seasons hilton like things like that so that anytime you walked in there you'd be like oh i feel like i'm at home because that is so interesting smell never thought is that a real thing they have their own unique smell all hotels what does hampton inn smell like mothballs google it wait have you ever smelled mothballs andrew no how'd you get your head under there how'd you get your nose between their legs fuck that was the first joke my grandma told

me and i remember being like i didn't realize that that was an option for conversations for us to have you know what i mean yeah with your grandma when you're a kid it has to be like very buttoned up nothing intentionally so maybe she hasn't worked with them yet nothing unintentionally they're trying so fucking hard to get anything in there it's like that movie um or it's like that book perfume what's that you ever hear about that apparently it was like kurt cobain's favorite book it's about a guy who's born with no scent but like not like he can smell things he doesn't smell like anything oh he just doesn't smell like anything and so he becomes obsessed with like smell and scent and like tries to create like the perfect scent and then he eventually creates like

the perfect scent and then he covers himself with it and i guess they like eat him in the town's center oh it smelled too good yeah i in college my girlfriend at the time told me that i didn't smell like anything and that made me feel like a serial killer for some reason like something about not having a scent feel makes me made me feel really in inhuman i unhuman i think you smell like a roses thank you thank you i think you smell like a roses girl you smell like a roses you smell like a roses um i was i was working outside the other day w thank you blue collar and blue wait what workout uh it was the gym has like an outdoor section oh you were working out outside sorry i was working out outside i thought you were like picking up sticks or

oh yeah landscape but he was producing a podcast red my collar blue um but i could smell somebody's bo oh god and there was nobody around me and it wasn't me because i checked right but like there was maybe somebody like 50 feet away from me and i was like how bad do you have to smell that you smell bad like outside that far away are you sure did you check did you just check under uh do you just check armpits yeah what else could have been your grundle you think it's my grundle dude sometimes i've heard that like yeah i will say today we were showing all morning we were shooting this like unscripted video okay and it involved riding a pedicab back and forth on the boardwalk and how was that it was actually it was a tandem we had a tandem bike with a pedicab attachment

it was very fun actually but there was one part of like we were just doing the same route kind of over and over and over just back and forth on the boardwalk and there was just one section that every time you drove by it just straight piss smell really so it was like it was like oh god we're approaching piss town and be like this town population us piss town blast yeah just keep going turn around piss down blast there's a part of uh the venice boardwalk that just constantly that center section yeah like the french fries are and everything yeah yeah just constantly smells like yeah ours wasn't quite there but it was it was this very specific like yeah 15 foot stretch where all you got was piss up the nose.

Doing a 15-foot stretch. Ow! How's my leg that far away? Where'd the other 13 come from? I did spring break in Piss Town in college. Here's a funny story. Have I told this story? I don't know.

You haven't given us anything. My sister was in a musical in high school called Urinetown. I vaguely remember this, but I think you might have told me this at your Christmas party. my sister was in a play called your musical called you're in town i think it's a thing i've heard of it yeah yeah and she was there she was performing and we went and the sitting right next to us was like a mom and like two little girls they came and sat down next to us and we're like oh that's

kind of funny to bring it's like an adult it's like has some like profanity and stuff and it's about p i guess i don't really remember what it was about i think that's a safe bet yeah i mean it could have been that much about p it was a high school musical that so we come to learn that they're like now presenting you're in town and the mom goes this is you're in town and my mom was like yeah she's like oh my god i brought my daughters here because i thought it was high school musical but it was a her friend had told her about a high school musical so she had brought her daughters there to see high school musical the musical but it was a high school musical and it just so happened to be urine town so what can you google like it was urine town synopsis

a satirical musical set in a drought stricken dystopian city where private toilets are outlawed okay citizens are forced to pay for the privilege to pee at heavily monitored public amenities controlled by a greedy corporation urine good company but when fees when fee hikes push the pour past their breaking point a young custodian named bobby strong leads a rebellion to make using the restroom free interesting was your sister a big theater head she was she was se and you can't take it with you i haven't heard of any of these or is that is that a character can you go you can't take it with you characters she had some uh one big role where she had a big scream characters not why would it be theater

we laugh about it but sometimes essie yeah yeah yeah uh was she a would they go to like denny's after were they like a like a stereotypical theater group i don't know i uh i as you know i was in the play and it took a second to like infiltrate their crew like yeah they were they were a cool group and they were kind of hard nuts to crack because i came into yeah i came into their like theater class and i don't know if i was really giving it my all and these kids take it really seriously and i think i was maybe not uh not as professional as i should have been but then we ended up all being great friends towards the end but uh there are the theater kids are cool theater kids are like they are outgoing before being super outgoing in that way is cool

like putting yourself out there yeah you know what i mean i was i didn't i never really went any of the plays and then after watching them in this class and in the play i was like these are the fucking coolest kids in school because they've gotten over that yeah i would love that shit but we had none of it oh you didn't have one there's no theater at my high school academic magnet that feels shocking all academics do we know arts at all we know sports no band wouldn't that be like kind of a blind spot in people's like resumes yeah did people have trouble getting in i got Rejected from nine out of 12 schools I applied to. What?

Nine out of 12? Yeah. Where are you applying? Like Harvard? Yeah. Not Harvard, but UPenn was my early decision. And then, yeah, I mean, it was like Stanford and a bunch of IVs. Dang.

I mean, I... Because BC is like no cakewalk. Yeah. Yeah. BC was... I was... Yeah. I was BC, Ohio State, and Xavier were the only three I got into.

That you got into. And I got rejected from... they were they were i was definitely shooting the moon uh really but i had you know like i had like straight a's all of high school and a pretty good sat score but i just i think my essay was dog shit i was really bad about writing about myself like i just i was really good at like i did like i was good at like academic essays but like my but i i think also too is like i didn't really have like anything compelling to write about like i had a really easy childhood yeah i didn't you know i think i was like trying to like make up some sort of like yeah wait what was it again

you told me one time i think it was like kind of a lie wasn't it no i think it was like something about my experience when i lived in spain for a year and like getting there and not knowing the language at all and like overcoming it and making friends and stuff so like maybe it could have been done in the right way but i think i tried to like posit it as like a some sort of like big hardship hardship and i was like i wasn't like i was like such a luxury to even be able to get to do that that like i don't know i just think i andrew what was your nift it i wrote about how when my parents bought a new microwave i read the instruction manual and i found out you could like child lock it and so i would lock my parents out of the microwave actually all the time no that was

an example essay for a guy that got into harvard one time i mean that is like that's what i should have done is like yeah been funny yeah yeah and like just been myself but i was like so caught up and like thought i thought there was some like formula of like yeah i did i'm blah blah it's just like didn't it wasn't compelling at all who was the girl it's like like they bring it up all the time when they're telling you about your ass she wrote about like a letter like a like a letter of the one of the alphabet yeah she wrote about the letter s or something yes yes and got into like you're right i do remember that what was that about um i don't remember that one i just remember the child lock microwave one i wrote about uh i was passionate about other people's

passions or something i thought it was like really meta yeah at the time nowadays i don't like to carry any passions of my own yeah yeah yeah but i like i like to see like yeah humans passionate for other things my brother applied to notre dame and very famously wrote an essay called i am a slacker did not did he get it no he went for like the the bold like he tried to reverse psychology yeah yeah damn yeah but i think bc had like special essays that were not just like the common app essay there were like three specific ones something about like being jesuit and like something else and like i think i because there were more like defined prompts i think i was able to shine through there i had to write special essays

like all through high school and middle school yeah i think that's why they put the sign up in your name yeah they were like different yeah it was kind of the same thing there were different prompts for me than there were for everyone else mine was like what'd you have for breakfast this morning and everyone else's were like different do you have you ever looked my brother asked me recently if he think i don't know why he said this but he said do you think our buttholes look the same that's a good question and i was like i don't even know and then we were saying that it would even if we were looking at a picture of both of our buttholes which we didn't and haven't it would be impossible to say if they look the same because we haven't seen enough buttholes to know what

makes one unique which we mean you don't you haven't seen you haven't been you haven't seen a lot of buttholes right i feel like i've seen a fair amount of bottles really yeah what like the internet but like close up like a still photo oh no no no no no i mean i don't think i could pick my own butthole out of a lineup that's what i'm saying well i guess i'd look for the one that's bleeding but the second the second i said it i wish i didn't i wanted to put it bag in my mouth can i go to the bathroom yeah please there's a clip for you willie what's your guilty pleasure drink uh pinnacle vodka what's your go-to drink for the beach uh pinnacle vodka and ask me my go-to drink for a different occasion what's your go-to drink

pinnacle vodka okay pinnacle vodka was born to be the pinnacle of value vodka from the beginning they have sought to do two things make high quality vodka and offer that award-winning vodka at a reasonable price distilled five times for a crisp smooth finish and can i say something it's a hundred percent distilled from cane that is which i think we need let's get into the nitty gritty here what that means is uh cane sugar has a simpler molecular structure than sugars derived from grain and so the simpler sugar structure it it bypasses the sacrification process that grain starches must undergo which means fewer congeners byproducts and fusible oils resulting in a cleaner naturally smooth end product but more importantly it's made right here in the

us of a proudly produced in america supporting american jobs and delivering american quality that's right so find pinnacle vodka near you and see why smooth doesn't have to be expensive please drink responsibly must be 21 plus let's get back into the episode guys this episode is brought to you by our good friends over at mug root beer i have been loving this stuff i've had that dog in me ever since we got restocked on mug indulge in the creamy vanilla flavor of your childhood with this nostalgic soda guaranteed to help you let out your inner dog mug i had that dog in me yesterday i found a new bug in the yard what'd you do with it 14 legs i left it because it deserved to live but i wish i could show it mug i don't think bugs can have mug imagine a

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the way the way i be making babies call me the equal sign the way i'm the way i'm just a fucking pawn in this whole thing pawn stars pawn stars dude what's up with chumlee chumlee is chumlee is that his fucking birth name there's no shot google chumlee but at the same time like wasn't emily like obsessed with chumley who emily binder is like obsessed obsessed with all sorts of fucking things weren't we just talking about chumley yeah on the binder episode okay austin lee russell his name's not even chumley chumley is one of those things because he looks like a guy named chumley it's kind of like a nature versus nurture thing like does he look that way because they started calling him chumley or do they call him chumley because he

look like that wait he's inspired by the walrus character from the animated tv series tennessee tuxedo can you look at that can you look up chumley tennessee tuxedo that's not very nice doesn't even it's not even really clever just that's just a fat character who's tennessee tuxedo i don't know what's that oh it's tennessee tuxedo and chumley oh so he's like a star so he's one of the main guys yeah that is i mean getting i went to college with multiple guys who the name i called them was was a character they looked like from a uh tv show or like a celebrity i didn't come up with them but like i went to college with a guy named goob because he will just melt the word mark at me

i think you were trying to i think he's trying to try to guess it i went to school with a guy named goob because he looked like goob from meet the robinsons and then uh we had murder because he looked like murder beats yeah and then mark of course mark he looks like mark from the simpsons he looks just like marge from the simpsons but how me we tried to call him pretty good right yeah people heard it as mark homie get homie oh homie homie homie is that what she says yeah like that homie google marge saying homie no no yes keep that andrew he pa he pa a thousand eyes trapped forever oh my god hey mom i'm bart

one of the only things no no let's watch that no no no one of the only things i am proud of myself generally proud of myself for is my Marge Simpson impression. Go homie! What did I get? One of the only things... Why does that cut... When you look up Marge Simpson

on a TikTok with 39 likes comes up? Dude, poor homie. What a poor eat. Lousy two-legged pants. homie it's 4 30 in the morning little rascals isn't on till six i know i'm taping it i want to get to mr burns's house bright and early to make his breakfast poor homie poor poor can i say something really okay you're right it's more of a oh homie yeah there you go

poor poor homie am i crazy or is that kind of not marge simpson's voice exactly but like a raspy lady voice is very sexy for some reason I've never figured out why you find this sexy not the way you're doing leave it alone I'm fucking done with this

okay Rusty but isn't that weird what do you mean why is that attractive yeah I've always wondered that I went to high school with a girl who had a voice like that and we all were like

oh yeah I think it like they have to be like really attractive though on top of it oh yeah you think they're just hot and we're just yeah like that's the girl I knew in college that was like that like she was also just like attractive without it so right like maybe maybe maybe doesn't matter what her voice sounds like or maybe I feel like anything that's like a unique characteristic becomes hot if it's a hot person I don't know what just made me think of this I think I was thinking about like uh like i don't even know what i was thinking but there was this girl that i went to college with who our dads went to high school together and i learned this like after we had known each other for like a year like her dad came for like parents day or something

and it was one of those things where like you know when you have like a couple's facts in your back pocket that if you have like five beers like they're just coming out yeah every time i saw you know that steely dan song was a rebuttal to john legends imagine right and they're like that's like your new like you had five beers wait no what was this it was no it was uh only a fool would say that is that steely dan only a fool yeah yeah yeah um it wasn't a rebuttal it was a diss track but every time i would see this girl and i was drunk at the bar i'd be like our dads went to high school together and like the fifth or sixth time that it happened yeah she like kind of snapped at me it was like i know i know you do this this is like the fifth time in a row you've done this

and i was like i am so sorry i thought that you thought this was as cool as i did all right yeah i feel like i wrote in like college we have class together and then it's like english class on monday and i'm like hello yeah it's also like a kid that you you you talk to in class or or a kid literally never said anything to him at the bar you and i have class together that teacher's crazy man it's a completely normal teacher dude like it's always like just making shit up for a conversation stirring the pot dude that our teacher's such a bitch the bouncer at my favorite bar in college was in my action ball class and uh so i'd constantly be like you still play an action ball man can we like i mean no okay you're just gonna say you have any you didn't play action

ball shut up you never played action don't say a word what is action ball well of course you know he doesn't know what it is what is action ball well you guys don't know action ball can i guess it's a it's a so it starts with a ball are we getting action balled no this is a real thing but it was started by my professor oh okay and there was a whole class on it and there's a whole class on it yeah it's like when the teacher writes the syllabus basically or not this writes the curriculum like it's like based off the textbook they wrote yeah this is just your opinion yeah so what's action ball uh it's a mix between soccer and handball and so uh basically if you kick the ball up and somebody catches it then it becomes handball but all the other times

it's basically just soccer okay um but it's mainly handball because nobody ever wants to like kick the ball it's kind of like mcwhippet what's mcwhippet that was our gym that was our gym class no it's just i was trying to think of another funny name which that was a real game we played but that was just lacrosse we used to play just regular sports yeah i just kind of went to a regular school we kind of do you ever guys ever play rundown rundown was rundown why do i remember that yeah i think i just was telling you about two guys like a bait like bases with a part yeah imagine like first and second base and you're running back and forth and when you run they can peg you with the ball and it just keeps going the hogos's house had a stump and uh a stump and like

a bush that were the perfect distance apart for rundown i'm like that's just god what god wants us to play rundown listen you hear all our business pitches right i know you're all sitting on a business idea that could make you a bajillion dollars. Well, let me tell you, Shopify makes it easy to make it happen. Everything you need to start selling is included and ready from day one. I'm serious. Shopify checkout, I can't say enough good things about it. The moment that your first customer is ready to pay, Shopify checkout is going to help them finish their purchase. And when they come back, all their details are already saved. One tap, they're done. If you make that process easy. You're going to get people on board way quicker and grow your business at

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So I can't say enough good things, guys. With Shopify, nothing stands between your idea and a real business. So go make it one. Start your free trial at Shopify.com slash Playdate. let's get back into the episode dude there was like i was really into i think i mentioned this recently that i loved capture the flag and i was really good at it but then there was i was really good for my like age group then there's this kid aiden uh fuck it was like aiden something who i didn't really know but he would put together these like huge like 50 person games of capture

the flag like at this park where like everyone would like get their parents to drive them out yeah like aiden's doing like one of his games and like they'd have it'd be like very organized and like you'd have like a jersey like a penny and like whoa and i was i was get so scared and it was like in the woods too and it was like but it was like the big kids like there'd be like it was like old eighth graders playing in it and stuff and i was like wait it was through the woods that part of it was in the woods it was like a map like it was like part there was like an open field and then like a wood hunger games yeah it was aiden hickey is that his name wait alex grade and i knew an aiden hickey in maine maybe it wasn't then wait why do i even hickey

you i think that alex grade somehow got that name goop put lancaster at the end he's a manager at kentar i mean i don't remember what he looks like so he could be any of these guys i don't even remember who he was i just remember like knowing about him he was like he was kind of a gatsby like figure in the cap of the flag world where like yeah huge games but no one really yeah he was like yeah yeah exactly um we would play hostage a lot which was a game where they would like blindfold you and a partner and you would be taken by the other team and they would just drop you off in a random location and then yes you

would have to call your team members and be like ah there's like anywhere around town anywhere around town and you'd never like you or you couldn't you could have your phone you just couldn't check your like location you had to yeah it was it was a gentleman's game yeah and you had to be like uh there's an elementary school near me there's a couple trees a bush a stump there's a cult sacrifice yeah i feel like i remember playing that once but i think i was in like the searching car like i feel like what would prevent you from just finding a street sign and immediately just how old are you maybe i feel like maybe they're not allowed to look at maps either they would uh oh maybe that's what it is i think they would also just drop you off in a location

that didn't really have street signs like they just drop drop us off in like you guys were old enough to drive though yeah was this like a high school yeah we like 16 17 like a weekend activity or or a weekday or a summer it was summer okay i forgot about summer yeah oh my god summer's fucking goaded i wish we had i can't believe we don't have summer break anymore now imagine just fucking off for three months that was the greatest you go crazy that was the greatest no you wouldn't You'd just relax. It would be so awesome. All I want to do is relax.

You like that Jay-Z song? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We have a beautiful episode today. I think we do This Guy Rocks, Teach Me Something, drafts. Great. Yeah, even better.

This Guy Rocks, followed by Teach Me Something. We're going to do party themes that don't exist and family guy cutaways that don't exist. Andrew. The hitters today. The hitters. We're doing hitters today. Okay, I don't remember what this is,

So pause this immediately, and I mean immediately. Wait, can you give me one second? I haven't set mine or anything. Okay, so this is a guy named Blake Ung, and it's a stand-up set, and it is so good. I don't think that life begins at conception. I don't. I think life begins when you swim in my uncle's pool for the first time.

It's literally so big. No, seriously, like whatever size you're thinking, double it, half it. You were right the first time. believe in yourself i wish i could turn into a bear right now but i'm not allowed to use my powers outside of class do you guys have celebrity hall pass some people think that life begins i just love the idea begins when you swim the bear the bear thing is super funny to me that's all the double it half it thing

was really funny and then the fact that like just no one is laughing at it i don't know i'm not allowed to use my powers outside of class i did like that a lot y'all have a celebrity hall pass and it just ends i gotta snort it on myself you just took out like a random 30 second clip of a set like two and a half jokes do you guys believe in hall passes no dude are you fucking crazy someone yeah me neither dude i think that is like those video i i think a lot of them are are staged but the like men on the street where it's like if she gave you a hall pass would you take it he's like no yeah and then she lawler just showed me this she's like my ex yeah my ex or like it'll be like a red dude she said uh fuck what's his name she said a role player on

the spurs oh yeah that one's fucking gotta be a starter yeah yeah it has to be a starter yeah All right, let's see what Willie's got. If your girl is at any season opener basketball game. This is Mr. Crazy Jokes. That Sidney Sweeney is going out with Grogu. Just kidding. Mr. Crazy Jokes. Mr. Mr. Crazy Jokes.

It's time for Mr. Crazy Jokes. Did y'all hear that Sidney Sweeney is going out with Grogu? And I like the little speech bubble at the end. Did you see that? what does it say just kidding mr crazy jokes mr mr crazy jokes who knows what i'll say that's awesome all right teach me something yep i just learned this okay would you guys like to hear about i have two i'll pick one would you rather hear about a canadian attempted invention to figure out if people are gay or an oasis fun fact the first one first one for sure yeah

canada was trying to weed out any homosexuals in the government and in the military okay and so they created something that i i might butcher this but it was something along the lines of the fruit machine where they were they would like measure how much your pupils dilated when they showed you like a guy with like a huge hog isn't that insane that is kind of insane pull up canada fruit machine i don't want to just completely throw them under the bus i feel like my eyes are gonna die like no matter what the fruit machine was a bad was a battery of psychological tests developed yeah so they just they'd show you a guy hanging brain and if your eyes got too big that you were gay that is insane in the 1960s that's fucking more like 1984 come on

man makes you think makes you think man did you know that in the first world cup ever the u.s got third yeah i did know that i just learned that we were there were four teams right no there were not no we won our group and then we lost in the semi-final that was very fun but i thought that was kind of interesting that is very interesting um all right willie would you like to do party themes first or family guy cutaways that don't exist um you pick tee me up for family guy cutaways deal these are more family guy cutaways that don't exist peter goes this is worse than being hung over with ozzy osbourne and it cuts them on the couch and ozzy goes pass me a gatorade

that's awesome being too loud yep uh peter says that's why i always trust my gut and then it cuts back to him uh it's he's walking into the twin towers and he he hears like he's like his stomach starts rumbling and it goes don't go in there someone's gonna hijack a plane and fly it straight into that building go home he goes and just walks home I like that. This hurts more than when that onion made me cry. And it's Peter about to cut an onion and the onion starts yelling at him. You'll never be anything.

I hate you. You suck. Yep. That's awesome. Thank you. Remember, Peter says, remember, there's no such thing as a free lunch. I learned that the hard way. And it cuts to him ordering lunch.

And the guy goes, that'll be $15.99. Yeah, yeah, yeah. that's really good this is taking longer than golfing with a snail and the snail's over the ball and it literally takes 45 seconds for him to get to the top and then 45 seconds on the way down and he misses and he goes practice swing that's all peter says remember always measure twice and cut once and he's got like a piece of wood and he measures it two times and then he just chops his leg off that's great all right these are more party themes that don't exist wear your drink everything you want to drink that night has to be on your person at all times

so you can tape beers to your arms fill your pockets whatever you got to do but that drink can't touch the counter can't touch the ground it's got to be on you pack it in pack it out That's so fun. Dorothy and the Gin Man. Everyone shows up dressed as Wizard of Oz characters, and then one guy gets to be the Gin Man, and he gets to walk around pouring gin in people's mouths. That sounds like a blast.

No floor drinking. You have to be elevated any time you take a sip of your drink. Like jump? Yeah, you either jump or somehow find a way to suspend yourself or have someone hold you. maybe you alternate like hold me for a beer i'll hold you for a beer yeah but if your feet are on the ground you better not take a sip can you like get up on a bar stool uh depends there's if there's some it's house rules house rules yeah the drug rug thickest shag carpet you've ever seen drugs

scattered without it how high can you get everyone dresses in theme for a new holiday that they've invented and at one point in the party everyone introduces their holiday to the crew and tells them a little bit about how they celebrate that's so fun like you could do crinkles today yes that exists Weinstein everyone gets a stein oh my god I didn't even think about that sounds like Harvey what the Weinstein okay everyone fills a stein to the brim with red wine if you finish it then you are in like the winner's circle but if you spill one drop

you have to start over the Harvey Weinstein thank you guys it's actually been a lot of fun today and I will see you on Monday peace yes Monday