Will & Rusty's Playdate - going RAW

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/@playdatepod?sub_confirmation=1  JOIN US IN SUPPORT OF BEST BUDDIES: https://www.bestbuddieschampion.org/maine/supporting/#willandrustysplaydate&donate/5363257/0 GUESTS AND INQUIRIES: [e-mail] MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/  SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: Download Cash App Today: [https://click.cash.app/ui6m/ba1zl21n] #CashAppPartner Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Check DRINKLIGHTSTRIKE.COM to find it near you! AN EXCELLENT SOURCE OF 5% ALCOHOL Use our code for 10% off your next SeatGeek order*: https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/PLAYDATE10 Sponsored by SeatGeek. *Restrictions apply. Max $20 discount Playdate: https://www.instagram.com/playdate.pod https://www.tiktok.com/@playdatepod Willy: https://www.instagram.com/willdonnellon https://www.tiktok.com/@willydonnellon Rusty: https://www.instagram.com/featherstonerusty https://www.tiktok.com/@rustyfeatherstone RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg  SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link 00:00 - intro 1:13 - overdressed  10:30 - I’ll never be a roommate 17:43 - wedding crashers 24:13 - more airport stories 37:50 - more uber stories 45:23 - softball szn 49:40 - mystery gift reveal 53:30 - roadmap 58:30 - pitches 1:24:03 - aita 1:31:11 - this guy rocks 1:35:22 - teach me something  1:43:20 - breaking bad cocktails that don’t exist 1:46:20 - ways to say you got laid last night 1:49:20 - rsotd #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

do you see t swift's gonna drop a song called canceled it's gonna be okay that's what that girl said who predicted i don't know how she's doing she predicted that sabrina carpenter was gonna drop a song called manchild and then she did and then she just said this is my prediction of what canceled by taylor swift's gonna sound like so oh like she said i mean she released the track list for her album taylor swift yeah that makes way more sense so okay so maybe the girl did not predict that it was meant maybe she was just is it the girl who predicted like what man child would sound like yeah and it was like basically got the song exactly it was like pretty spot on yeah yeah crazy are we going all right let's talk about it let's let's do it i forgot a

belt oh how's that going i just got a new belt nervous we're having very different mornings i'm really nervous are they loose yeah i guess were they loose when you bought them i don't remember because you've been this is one of this is one of the effects of getting as hot as you're getting is none of your clothes are gonna fit anymore i know i gotta go get a tuxedo today i'm like great now i have to be really trim and handsome my whole life oh you're buying it now yeah that was my advice to you last time yeah you went you you snaked you and rented one i've never rented one i've never worn one well were we just having this conversation like months ago maybe months in advance what's the tuxedo for wedding

playdate pod is brought to you by cash app cash app write me a check cash app cash don't crash i just wore a tuxedo to a wedding on saturday fun it was awesome yeah i'm gonna go to suit supply what wedding requires a tuxedo more than you think yeah black tie wedding i mean i think technically you just wear like an all black suit and like a bow tie it's still like that but there was one guy there was one guy that showed up in like a regular suit and you could tell i think he thought i think he thought everyone else was gonna just not listen to the dress code no and it was kind of it was like uh it's like when you try to be too cool for school at like a dance or something in middle school and that everyone else did follow the thing but if you just like a

black suit with a bow tie that would work like no like a black bow tie yeah that's what my dad does all the time i don't think it's totally i think dan powers did that the other day yeah yeah i don't think i mean no one's gonna for the record i don't think anyone's gonna like go up to you and be like hey asshole you're not it's just it's more of a respect thing i think the phrase you can never be like overdressed is so false because one time to a wedding it was like more like casual wear it was like guys were wearing like blue blazers and i wore a black tie i didn't wear tux but i did black tie and probably everyone i saw there made a comment about oh you did the black tie and i was like interesting well i think for the record i think the saying is it's

better to be overdressed than underdressed like you would have rather have been in that scenario you definitely can be overdressed you would rather have been dressed the way you're dressed than like cargo shorts and flip-flops though yeah i guess it's true but i still felt like there were an equal amount of eyes on me if i'd done either one i have definitely felt yeah i've felt the embarrassment of being overdressed many times but it's nothing compared to being to undershooting it undershooting it is like is humiliating yeah because you're like everyone here thinks i'm nine years old and can't dress myself now andrew you're like a hundred feet from the microphone okay you know why i'm self-conscious because somebody was like andrew's

chewing into the mic because i did eat yeah during you're not currently chewing huh i know but i like that you were you're like the problem isn't me eating into the microphone it's that damn microphone well i also i also turn down my audio like so much when i uh edit it okay so i'm like i think the mic is too close but i could i can move it up a little bit i don't care i just didn't know if you were aware yeah yeah you know that song oh no i was just gonna say about the microphone my dad used to text me like he'd be like uh there was one episode where the audio levels were peaking and he was like what is she wearing those damn headphones for if she's not monitoring the levels so i don't know sorry i continue i was gonna say y'all know that song turned down

for what of course for guys that's like not for like his mic levels it's like turned down for the listeners it's not like for what like we know what yeah rarely do you know what you're turning down yeah turn down for what of our listeners so that their ears don't hurt i love that hey i feel like i'm just spitting today i feel like i got like something going on i'm like swagged out i'm like dripped out today oh dude swagged out will oh yeah wait you went to a wedding and you cut your feet so yeah wait look at eddie look at my heels i literally dance i dance so hard what kind of shit were you grooving to dog dude so i actually this is one of the very few times that i've like i've gotten bit by the dance bug yeah usually i'm like i'm down to dance but

it's not sure something was in the air where i just could not sit still and was like it kind of started like there was one old lady that wanted to dance and we were like you know doing the classic two hand like this right and then we'd be like all right i gotta cut out i'm gonna go get another drink go get her a drink come back now it's like the suit jacket comes off and like you're doing like these i was kind of like trying to do yours you could never dude you can ask lucas on the way in here i told him this is the most sore i've been and i it's very rare that you can pinpoint like i'm sore from that exact thing i was getting low yeah at one point like the only button buttoned on my shirt was like the top one for some reason i think it was because i couldn't

figure out how to get my bow tie off right which that actually my bow tie saved me probably a lot of grief um but i was going i was going ballistic wait who is your buddy's wedding it was i mean yeah he is my buddy but he is it's probably better to describe him as my my buddy's older brother who i'm also friends with got it that makes sense um and it was a beautiful wedding family there too or is just you it's just me and like a couple other buddies from college and then i knew some of their friends from like new year's and stuff that we've celebrated together but it was it was uh it was mostly like their friends which are a little bit older but it was fun but i i i uh i just over i over served myself a little bit towards the end and instead of being

like instead of pushing i just went home which was great the wedding was like over we had already like but everyone wanted to go to like another place and we'd been drinking for like six hours so it was like you know what now i'm just gonna go home and i went back to my buddy's luke's my buddy luke's house and his dad had somehow ordered taco bell so that was like the perfect thing to walk in on as a drunk guy everyone else was sober and there was just a bag of taco bell sitting there and they're asking me about the night and it was one of those ones where like your eyes keep like going over to the taco bell and he was like you can you're good buddy you can just go have some i got uh a little drunk yesterday and i went to kava and kava's like

kind of a funny place when it's like you just want like drunk like food to like soak it you know i was like trying to get like the most like grimy like big meal at kava which is like kind of hard to do yeah you're like you're like i'm fucked up load up that tzatziki extra pickled onions come on make it hurt i want i want i want to have the most hummus you've ever scooped and then a guy walked in with a pizza to kava and i was like i didn't think of that wait why was he there i don't know was he meeting other people i didn't i tried not to look it was honestly i was so hungry i was like getting nauseous being drunk at kava and you're like i've made i've made the right decision here like in terms of like drunk food this is probably as

healthy as it gets and the guy walks in with like a prince street pizza it literally was like it was the best pizza i've ever seen it was also like everyone else in the line was like like girls in like workout gear and stuff right and i'm just like extra hummus how much hummus can you do why do you how much hummus will they let you do here's a real hey what's the hummus limit how much hummus can you extra people legally how much hummus can you give me give me a whole chickpea worth oh my god wait dude we were at have you ever had a pub sub yeah from publics yeah yeah wait where did you have were there publics in south carolina yeah oh my god dude we were in publics they had just they just made their way up to kentucky or at

least louisville and my buddy luke was uh was we went and got one and he was telling me about this video i guess this isn't a very good story because it's just a video he saw he told me we were cracking up because he said one time a guy was at publics and just kept asking them for them to toast it more and like by the time it had come out like the 16th time i've seen it's like on fire and he's like one more time hey can you pull it up i've never seen yeah yeah i'm not gonna toast it anymore would you eat this dude i saw it you know that hoopify guy that's like yeah i don't know who is baby and you know we're talking about yeah yeah he got baby gronk dating liby did he like

dated a bc girl he posted he posted a oh wait what did you know him no but i i knew a girl i believe his girlfriend was like in my grade at bc is he a completely normal guy outside that's just like a thing i have no idea i never met him he put someone posted him uh he posted on like linkedin or something looking for a roommate and it was kind of crazy to think like these people exist outside of crazy thing even hoopify needs a roommate yeah if he can't if he can't find buddies to live with we're all yeah i'm never gonna roommate again never i'm never gonna get a roommate i just want a guy who's stressed out about the wrong things you're like like dude i'm worried I'm never gonna be a parent he's like I'm worried I'm never gonna be a roommate I'm not

I'm worried I'm not gonna have a fucking it up I keep fucking I keep fucking my rent opposite I keep doing the opposite of the rent I keep I keep taking buying the whole apartment I'm never gonna be from my landlord I'm never gonna be able to be a roommate if I keep buying these houses I keep thinking I'm leasing them just buying them I keep getting one bedroom so I'm never gonna be room fuck it's zillow's so confusing it's a one bedroom again where the hell is my roommate gonna go where's my roommate even gonna go oh my god i keep getting the roommate before i get the two bedroom he's gonna be pissed he's gonna be the third guy who makes sleep in bunk beds god he's the fridge i'm i'm roommate with the fridge william refrigerator perry i'm roommates with

the fridge oh my god he's so good at football and that was our best segment yet oh to the dodgers nice i saw they lost after all that oh my god i didn't even get your the joke of your story until you just said that because i i was just assuming they were playing the mets i didn't look up who the dodgers were playing that's hilarious wait what's hilarious weren't you were just rooting for the meds and they weren't a team that was playing in it oh yes yeah oh i see but they were playing the giants who are technically in the wildcard race with them that's why that's no but in my head it was like it's kind of just like a yeah if you don't know the context it was kind of just like oh nice will's at the dodgers game i know i kind of thought of it i was just

i was just low-key having fun with it was that yesterday yeah it was a day game yesterday i got back from i was at tc oh yeah it was at tcu stand up yeah for wheezy how was uh fort worth uh so hot yeah it was i was i was about to be like how would you know that i forgot yeah i was there for like an hour an hour yeah it was unbelievably hot i went on a run on thursday and i thought i was gonna die that day was we when you and i were driving back to the hotel and you said you were gonna go on a run i could not believe you did eight miles in the direct sunlight like noon andrew you're a dallas guy do you know exactly how hot it was imagine i don't think i could have run 80 feet yeah it was kind of gnarly um but i think it worked because i had i was i ran

so fast yesterday i think i'm gonna run like a 330 marathon it's like gonna be like four hours now i think it's gonna be like 330 wow it's like resistance training yeah i don't i i i'm i'm like him now i guess on running do you want to be a hero something healthy i did this weekend hit me twice. I was cold plunging it up. Where some see heroes and others see egos, Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire

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While others follow the noise, we follow the money. learn more at bloomberg.com guys this episode is brought to you by cash app willy you've been cashing it up lately you got yes do some prop comedy well i didn't i love i'm gonna do some prop comedy because i was thinking about this the other day and i was like we talked all about the cash app card last episode and i never even showed you guys my cash app card where's my cash app card glad you're keeping it safe this is actually a good point if you're like will and you can't find your cash app card i lost

it they are going they protect you because they will ask you if any fraudulent charges are yours oh yeah i lost my i lost my cash app card but it was funny they let me write on it and i'm like customize it by drawing with my finger so i made you say will's credit card i think i've should do that before anyway guys cash app is epic uh i like to send people money on it i like even more than that i like to receive money on it and here's the thing that a lot of people don't know is that cash actually does a lot more than you think when it comes to having your back and making sure your money stays your money if you direct deposit at least 300 in paychecks each month and use the cash app card for purchases you can unlock up to 200 in free overdraft coverage

if you overdraft unexpectedly there are no hidden fees so manage your money today and take advantage of free overdraft coverage up to 200 on cash app today i what are the odds one out of ten or up to ten that i get you cash at me ten dollars right now one two three six dang it guys for a limited time new cash app customers can earn ten dollars if they use code friday 10 in their profile at sign up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC. Direct deposit and overdraft coverage provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. brand. Visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures.

all right guys this episode is brought to you by light strike come on they got a brand new flavor so they had a party light strike through help throw this party with dj press play in fort worth come on and i was sipping on that light strike like usual i hit the light strike pinata i don't know if you guys heard about this i i broke the pinata of light strike at the party it was epic all the tcu frat boys loved it uh no these things are awesome i love that you can seal the top back up it's unreal it's it's uh a luxury that i didn't know existed in the alcohol space so yeah i mean they're awesome it's non-carbonated uh it comes in a nice little resealable bottle like willie said because here's the thing when you're on the go when you got a big big day drinking day ahead

of you you don't want to have that top open something could get in there something could the freshness could get out uh and it's five percent abv by volume i'm holding the uh i'm holding the blue rush flavor which i think is their best one so far guys if you're looking to check it out go to drink light strike.com to find it near you we can't recommend it enough light strike it's delicious strike that light let's get back in the episode and we're back we were doing cold plunges with adults we were all all above 18 acronym on accident can i say that i'm sorry i did an aa and accident no i do i do acronyms for everything i do a all the time accidental acronym

acronyms for everything all right so we were hung over and oh i know again i'm disgusting oh my god dude i need i forgot because out here the people that i hang out with out here don't drink like that much you know what i mean everyone's like kind of growing up a little bit yeah i forgot how fun it is to have be like not even in the top 10 percent of people the first night we got there my friend she went absolutely ballistic hog wild hog like like hw it was whoa oh cut that you can't do acronym harry weiner

um she went on a bourbon tasting like before long before we started drinking and then apparently I think you're supposed to just kind of like swish it around and then like you know whatever drink a couple of them apparently drank like every single one no one the guide was not the guide was misleading by the time we got there it was like borderline non-verbal so I was like all right I think it's time we because we were in the lobby of their hotel like at a drinks thing I was like all right we'll take you up and so me and Mr. Grove who's the father of the groom like got her upstairs she was like not telling us what room she was in she thought it was very funny so we like sat her down on the bench we're like you tell us where your

fucking room is right now and she was like nope and she did the room prank she would yeah we got roomed and she would like dude she would like get evade us in like cartoonish ways where she would like point and we'd be like and then she would run down the hallway that's for me and uh we finally got her there and uh and that just set the tone where it was like you can you can get pretty drunk this weekend and not and not have any any anxiety i would have felt in the morning was completely negated by like i forgot how awesome that is that i think that's you know we always talk about like you don't get we didn't get a anxiety in college i think it's because there was always some guy that like there's someone worse there was someone that did something a hundred times worse than you

could ever do yeah like you'd wake up and be like oh i might have been like a little annoying last night and then you were like someone like ate a beer bottle at the bar someone like pooped in the bartender oh my god i shit in the bartender last night again oh man yeah they're never gonna let me back all right oh man someone pooped in the bar last night or you wake up and you're the bartender you wake oh my god i gotta go count tips again i got it i actually these body shots keep going way too far see that's like not far off from when i was a bartender in college because i would get hammered and everyone would leave the bar and be like oh fuck i'm so drunk and i have to like clean i have to like do the like numbers and like the count all the tips and stuff yeah

that was fun we used to when once everyone was out they would let us smoke cigarettes in the bar that's like as we were cleaning up yeah it was really horrible it is funny that that's like the only job where it's like like imagine other jobs if it was like completely normal to like while you were serving people or while you were doing it like taking shots like with the people oh i know yeah like if someone came into jersey mike's you were like let's all do a shot i would do yeah let's all do a ham the deli counter person like i'll do one with you know like when you're camping give me like a piece of cheese i'll do one with you i the i used to get like a cup of like soda and then i would just you know do you have

you know mcgillicuddy's yeah i think i might be like a northeastern thing have you ever heard of that no it's like they have like a peppermint one they have like root beer flavor pull it up it's pretty it's like a like pretty normal like a peppermint type of liquor that was like kind of sugary what's it called dr mcgillicuddy's those are all it but i have my buddy i have a picture of a before and after picture of my buddy brendan he we like didn't have any plans that night and he was like i'm gonna drink a whole thing of peppermint dr mcgillicuddy's i was like really and so we took a before picture and i think he he did it in like 45 minutes and then just spent the rest of the i like violently oh i mean it was like the worst plant ever and then in the morning he was like

dude that was so fun you have to try it it was like it didn't look fun at all horrible it was good it tastes good it does the root beer one is it tastes like a tootsie i don't think i've ever tried it is it good yeah the root beer i personally am not the biggest fan of the peppermint one because it's just like i i think it's like an association thing like i've i've never had it like you're never drinking it in moderation so it's never sure yeah it's never ended that was like the go-to nip in college yeah yep you're at 99 bananas nip i think maybe that's a northeast thing too she's like a shooter like a mini bottle oh okay yeah what do you call them uh like shooters yeah they got what is it nip is that nip is the correct i remember like hearing that might be like

a new england thing it i mean that that would make sense look up nip versus shooter when nip is common in the northeastern united states and scotland i uh i remember thinking because we only knew them as nips i remember when i heard someone at college say like shooter i thought it was like it sounded like grandma-y like your grandma would be like let's do some shooters and it would be like shots i think in high school i think we just called the mini bottles which feels really lame no that's i mean that was probably lame at the time but it's like as i've gotten older describing things just exactly as they are and not trying to be cool is cool yeah like scroll down r slash alcohol are they called shooters or nips click it whatever whatever this guy says works

oh mickeys okay mickeys is where i'm from we either call the mickeys or shooters massive yeah okay shooters or travel size shoot uh airplane bottles i've heard that as well i airplane bottles you can't drink on an airplane that's illegal did i ever tell you i got on a plane with people that did it it was the first oh yeah he did say i think he told that on the pod already maybe not with andrew so he wouldn't know so that he won't i'll make it very brief i'll make it very brief but i got when you know every flight they'll be like and just as a reminder it is illegal to consume any outside alcohol you brought on you're like who would ever how would you even do that like i don't know how you would even get alcohol through tsa

can you buy it in the airport yeah but it just had never occurred to me that like anyone would be like nuts enough to do that and i sat down next to these well you can bring nips in your bag yeah you just can't drink that yeah um and also like they're on that you can get them as many as you want on the plane like like there's the amount that they would cut you off at you like wouldn't have time to drink on a plane that's what you think i've gotten pretty drunk on a plane never even once god i've had them i've had them like clearly avoid me but i've never had them been like no more wait on the flight like this weekend the lady was like she was like didn't you just get one to me oh yeah wait i watched it happen i was sitting across the aisle she was like wait what

you like shook it she's like okay she no no she i said could i get another uh could i get another sweet water and she goes oh did she not bring you one because i'd asked another one like two minutes prior and i was like no she did it's gone and she was like whoa and then just handed me another one um that's cool and then she pranked me yeah what was sorry i didn't mean to ruin your no what was the prank she i got up and used the i all i fucked that shit like the bathroom for is supposed to be for first class the one of the oh i use that one every time every time unless the things close like some people like duck under the curtain like i don't have the balls for that but like i think if the curtains open i i will go through i go through the clerk the curtain i go through the

curtain i don't give a fuck i'm like bro what am i gonna walk a half mile to the back of the plane because if i'm if i'm closer to the front i mean if there's a middle one i'll go to that one sure i'll go to the closest one and if it's the front one i'm going to the front one but like you and i are usually the row behind first class or like we're in that like thing we're right crumford puss yeah so i go to up there and then i'm gonna come back she goes that uh the steerage bathroom is in the rear and i was like oh okay sorry like i was like well he didn't like i'm not gonna pee again so didn't you like not know what steerage yeah i was like all right old timey she was clearly joking wait isn't steerage like a word for like the back of the plane though steerage is

like steerage is like where jack dawson like slept on the titanic it's like she was she was completely joking got it got it or she or she is like the rudest person of all time which didn't seem like it oh it's like a boat thing yeah she was completely joking well i fucking hated her oh i was having a blast no i'm just kidding she's really nice and i was like oh i'm sorry i and she was like steerage yeah and i was like oh sorry and then i went and sat in my it would have if she had said that to me it would have been like a home run yeah i was like okay steering yeah i would not have known so i got my seat and googled it and said like the cheapest tickets so I just thought

I was like oh she also hit I don't know if I liked her or didn't I'm still on the fence and that's okay I don't have to like

make the call right now here live on the pod is that okay I don't know whether I liked her or not and I feel like I get a week I feel like I get a week

this was Wednesday night I get a week so on Wednesday I'll tell you also I'm just fucking while I'm thinking about it I said on the last episode

the Mets would have clinched the playoffs by now not only have they not we are now out of the playoffs i mean not eliminated but if the season ended in that's how many games left six when willie and i were on the that same flight they went up to uh willie and they were like

william i want to thank you so much for being a uh gold member or whatever platinum fucking asshole member is that what it was okay no they were like they were like willie we want to thank you so much for being a platinum member and i'm sitting right next to all so i like took my headphones off me and like this is what i do it for like this is this is the one moment and she goes to edge who's in front of us she goes edge thank you so much for being alex edge thank you so much for being a diamond member and i was like sitting there waiting for it just walked directly past me and willie and edge started like cracking up so she like came back and was like what and i was like i'm higher than will and she was like yeah we pick we pick 20 people every flight and

i was like i fly all the time it never happened i didn't want it to happen it was like so deserved for all the fucking amount he talks about this the lady walks up to me when we're next to each other goes like thank you so much for being a delta passenger we love you thanks for your loyalty oh and then i said like i i was like i've flown all the time i've never haven't she was like that's crazy like the odds of that are she was like maybe you just don't remember it like reference like all the beers i had and i was like oh damn like delta sounds kind of fun i've never it was a hoot dude this yeah this crew this particular crew was the ox was fire too i feel like they were playing like they're playing music yeah they play like on delta flights they have

like a they have like music playing dude i'm always flying like american united and they were playing rick ross like literally from from takeoff to touchdown yeah well i feel like any flight through florida they always do like rick ross oh dude the the planes i go on are such tight ass really dude they're all dicks the problem though is the subwoofers were right under will and i's seats so like that gets kind of annoying it's like well you did i just told myself it's turbulence they're playing the whole flight like blasting it yeah well because it was like it was like if it's a night flight they don't do it that's so fun you just got delted you think they you think there are subwoofers under willie and i's seats who would that be for who would ever want he's

gonna throw up he's gonna throw up he's gonna throw up he's gonna throw up oh no he's puking oh no he's puking on the inside he's just he's just holding it in his mouth if he opens his lips it's gonna come out like the fucking fountain of giza did you see that the fountain of what giza it's right next to the pyramids you picked you picked like the most famously desert place um did you see that kid that do you guys play in these pranks at it no that one that one just happened you guys just know like in an instant that you're both i was just joking around and then it became clear you didn't know we were joking around so i just i was like i'm gonna see if we can do a prank and then he just fell in line um i can also we we also can look at each

other and tell quickly if the other person yeah this is what we do we go this is the sign to do a prank prank i went to the fred eagle smith concert on thursday how'd that go ass mid mid was that at billy bob's no it was at birdies it's like a bar in fort worth and uh not like a real venue really it's like this guy that i just know this one song is like trick or speed anyway i was needing something to do in fort worth and so i went and uh it's like the oldest guy of all time and he just he ad-libbed for five minutes between every song yeah and i was just like bro well you it's kind of like when you're talking to your grandpa and you're like are you getting every story you know out right now and it was like all old people sitting down he's just

like what's the deal with the iphones and like shit everyone's like and everyone's like eating it up but the music is like kids jeans are too tight and they're like hate them i hate those kids i was yeah he hated kids yeah everyone no i don't want to shit on fred eaglesmith he the music was great the concert experience was just i couldn't really hear what he was saying fred eaglesmith can he fly no he's like he makes eagles he's an eaglesmith he forges them out of one single feather bro thinks he's a festus what is that like a greek god of metalworking yes how do you know that i'm a ball knower bro are you did you take a class on that or is that just the pastime of yours i was really into percy jackson i've heard i would like

it yeah and hefestus is in it he's also the god of fire i think i feel like you should only be the god of one thing oh no there's gods of many things like for instance there's a god of i don't know water i don't know water beside water he's also the god of something else probably right i think he's the ocean and water yeah and okay the god all right we're gonna tell you something you tell us who's the god of it all right ready and if you willie if you can't so here's what we're gonna do if there isn't one or you don't know it you make it up and andrew and i are gonna try and figure out if you're telling the truth or if you're making it wait i know the answers oh i read percy jackson too yeah oh okay then oh all right all right you guys go back and

forth of real god or fake god and i'm gonna try and guess what you have to give us a thing first right yeah but how do we know okay so i'll go will first then andrew okay sure uh lakes poseidon that's probably correct too yeah uh flight hermes now that's real right i mean i don't think flight as we know it existed uh but he could fly he had like shoes that made him fly yeah he had wings god of messengers oh i didn't mean like planes i meant like like just like birds and stuff flying and stuff this is this was a stupid game this was a you know what you guys played along and i'm glad but we all knew that was a stupid game to begin with yeah but i don't i just don't understand like so just birds then yeah i'm just who's the god

of birds i'm over it different right i'm over it do you guys want pan i think is the god of pan pan pan pan is the god of animals right pan of that's fake google it pan pan of animals yeah oh i you guys want a satyr but he's a satyr yeah he's the greek god nate of nature shepherds flocks and wild animals half man half goat he also had dominion over wild groves oh oh that's what he also i knew i knew i forgot he did wild yeah i actually forgot that was kind of his early work yeah because then he kind of got like more to the mainstream just like and then he was like just alligators for a while yeah he did he went through kind of that that uh inland lake phase that was pretty weird yeah and his name is

the origin of the word panic because his sudden fearsome presence could cause herds to stampede terror i that is that is the feeling when i'm panicked that is the fear that i am most panicked about a herd you heard with purred you know that show you heard with purred happily familiar i don't know that uh and now we are watching the tv doing the podcast do you want to hear something i wrote down in my notes when i was when i was drunk yeah it's from parks and rec uh y'all rocking with parks and rec be honest wait this these are the two things that these are the two things i wrote down that when i was when i was hammered this weekend this was this was like i was giggling in my bed like they are gonna love this and i kind of still thought that

until i opened it up hit me the weekend that's not very long the weekend why doesn't he just get 95 those are the two things that i wrote down that i thought were going to be smash it i don't get it even like the singer the weekend but what do you mean that's not very long it's only two days the weekend why doesn't he take some time off the weekend just use pto The weekend, I'm pretty excited for football. Hey, BC didn't lose this weekend. What do you mean they didn't lose?

Like they normally lose? They've been losing. They had a bye week. They've been losing. Oh, oh, that's good. That's pretty good. The Jets almost had a crazy comeback. They lost.

Ooh. And the Mets lost. I think all my teams are cursed and I'm never going to have success. No, they were awesome last year. This is just the trials and tribulations of being... So they were picked like... Unbelievably good, and then they got the best player in baseball, and then they're worse.

Yeah, that's baseball. That's how baseball's always worked. Shouldn't. Not for the Dodgers. They got Shohei, and they got better. I would say comparing Juan Soto to Shohei Otani is... Oh, bro doesn't know ball? Not the same.

Bro doesn't know ball. Do you know the season Juan Soto's having? i mean show hell probably went mbp but so does right behind them yeah yeah but i think like the impact you can i don't know i don't know do you want to hear a fun story from yeah you're saying that because he's tall he's so tall he is really tall i called an uber to the wedding there were four of us that were planning on getting this uber we called a four person you know it tells you how many people can be in the thing like it'll be like four people we showed up the guy was like nope nope absolutely not and we were like what and he was like comfort's not four people comfort's

three and we were like there's like five seats and it was like an suv he was like nope and we were like okay well we have to like we have to go and he was like okay and so we got in and i think he like wanted us to fold and be like we'll give you extra money if you let us do four people but like other like wedding guests that we didn't know were coming over being like no they can four people can definitely fit in that car like what are you talking about and we got in there and then he saw that someone had a beer which is like i understandably like yeah not cool whatever if we didn't clear that with him and instead of being like oh dude you got you have a beer like put that away or like we'll throw that out later he pulled over on the highway and like scolded us

for like five minutes and we were like dude we're gonna be late like we'll like we'll throw it out i'm sorry and then he like sped off pulled up next to this dumpster and was like throw those out and so i got out and this guy was so like going so nuts i genuinely a real fear of mine he's gonna like leave without me so i like kept my hand on the door and threw them out and then got back in and he i think he was like on something because he was like screaming at us the whole time and then we got out and uh and that was it but it was like to start we got off on the wrong foot of him being like you can't have four people in this uber yeah that is the that is the most normal amount of people to take an uber with i agree i i wonder if maybe like two of his seats were

like joke seats that were broken and like if people sat on them they would just fall through right so he was just trying to like cover his own ass i'm just you got to think about that kind of thing right that yeah yeah because i have i should have looked at it through the frame of potentially maybe he has two joke seats right because i have you ever been to my patio right i've got a few joke seats there's one there's one that i think now has a piece of plywood that's gone nope what happened a a certain woman went straight through it just after our first date we went back to my house and she sat down i was sitting there i was like oh did you go did you go like how much did you eat at dinner no no that's gotta be horrifying it would have happened to anyone yeah what did

she say i was just i was just laughed i think that's a good way of humbling someone yeah i was trying to humble her i humbled her you're you're you you got jokes i forgot about that it was i was first date is the worst time it's like oh i want to go back to mine and have a drink we're like get there was that the chair was like made to do that no it's like we had this like old the chair had broken into we'd like got a sheet of plywood that we'd just been kind of like putting in there to like keep it afloat but it was getting like it was on its last legs like whoever the next person to sit in that chair was gonna go straight through it but i didn't quite realize how bad the situation was and i would have told her not to sit in that chair we were

i was just like i had like gone inside to grab something and then i came out and she was just in the in the chair chair wow you're way heavier than i thought stop stop we had a chair at my friend's house in college that like at parties it would like break all the way through yeah and it was sort of like a rite of passage i want to apologize i thought that was gonna be silly and they just came out like i was being mean what did you say you said my buddy had a chair at his apartment i said no way sorry i can do this fucking asshole but uh and so every time someone like fell through it we'd have to take a picture of them you know post it and everything um but it got to the point where like everyone at these parties like knew about the chair so we'd always

be like hey man take a seat and they go no man i know that's the chair we'd be like no man it's nothing man just take it take a seat and it would pop right back up every time yeah yeah we could like fix it was it that like ikea because there is one that like was confusing to build i knew multiple people where it would the did the cushion like slide out and they would like drop there were girls that had that at ron's as well yeah i know the type of chair he's talking about i mean the odds of like two chairs where it was like this one breaks every time someone sits in it that's awesome it was hilarious dude i got i got got with it i walked into my friend domin's apartment and uh and they were all sitting like there were more people on the couch than would make sense

when there was an open chair and i walked in they were like hey dude and i'm like hey how's it going they're like sit down and i went right through it and it was like what if i was like what if i was holding like i what if i was holding a beer and spilled it everywhere yeah what if that could have been horrible that would have been bad that would have been bad for my or what if you had just crapped yourself and then by falling it like squirted out the ends of your shorts when i was a little kid i was uh at the beach with my babysitter and i was wearing those bathing suits that had like the the net you know like net liner mesh liner and uh and i had to poop so bad and i was like all right i'm gonna run to the uh water and i shit myself like halfway there

and just kind of like shook it out of the net like as i was running and it dropped down i went and swam in the ocean and then i came back and she was like the cool i had a handful of babysitters but she was like the cool one that i wanted to always think i was cool yeah she was like do you poop on the way there and like shake it out of your shorts yep and you're like damn right it's like mic drop go clean it up juice box drop i saw you know those shows where where the two couples go and they give each other a tattoo and they can't see it until like the big reveal it's on md it was on mtv this guy and his girlfriend go on it and she gave him like a sweet tattoo of his dog that had just passed away and then it's the time for her reveal and she it's like right here

like it's like a huge on her thigh it was a toilet with a bunch of poop in it and everyone on the show was like what dude and she like starts like freaking out and then when they're consoling her they're like what could that even mean and she goes when we first started dating i forgot to flush the toilet one time and so she did that one time and so he permanently put it on her body it's kind of w yeah kind of w boyfriend i think that's like w boyfriend am i crazy for that i think that's yeah guys spam l girlfriend spam spam girlfriend has no sense of humor guys try to find a picture of me naked online i'm worried one's out there i am worried that because i've i haven't taken any really i don't think so i don't know how it would get out but that

would stink that would stink a lot yeah i've got a few of you no of him of him of him of him no i don't yeah i'm not really sending pictures of my naked body around too much i don't think i ever took one i don't think i ever took one above the age of like 15 so like even if it did get out there yeah i don't think it would be legal for it to be out there so cold plunge oh guess what today is start of the softball season didn't you guys you didn't win a game last season yeah we won the championship the year before yeah so sort of a tale of two seasons what changed about Are you playing? Mm-hmm.

Nice. What changed about the team? We lost. No, we gained nothing, really. Everyone just kind of started sucking. Everyone just got really bad. All the other teams got better. I don't even know.

I feel like we just got worse. Tanner left. I think the ref also hates us. Are they other? OJ? Yeah. Nah, he's chill. Are they other companies, or are these groups of friends?

A lot of it seems like either groups of friends or, like, I think a lot of people just sign up as, like, free agents and they, like, make teams. Yeah, but they're all, like, weirdly good, too. But it doesn't seem like any of these people are really friends with each other. Yeah. Well, I have full faith in you guys. I've still yet to watch one of your games, so maybe I'll come watch.

Does anyone go just watch? A few scouts, usually, but, uh... No, I feel like, like, Lee will come sometimes. Yeah. So, like, Edge and Jack came to the championship the year we won. The fact that Jack Barrett, like, the photo, the team photo is Jack Barrett holding the trophy. It had never been to a game.

He's the owner. He's the owner, bro. He's George Steinbrenner. All right, guys. This episode is brought to you by SeatGeek. Willie, you just went to a Dodgers game yesterday. Go to yours. Did you use SeatGeek to buy it?

I did. and i can prove it i will pull up my seat geek right now i use seat geek and i linked it with the mlb ballpark app for the most seamless possible ticket buying experience and and you know y'all don't even know about this ticket history boom dodgers dodgers at giants but look i've already bought tickets since then too your boy is going to see audrey hobert how'd you pull that off i bought him resale nice 175 bucks see come on baby it's a 700 person venue so i'm very excited yep and it was all made super super easy right through sea geek sea geek has 35 million downloads and they are the number one

rated ticketing app there are more than 70 000 events listed on seeking including concerts sporting events festivals and more right now you can get tickets uh to dochi lord renee rap Billy Eilish, Sabrina Carpenter, all the big names, they're on SeatGeek. Willie and I both love using SeatGeek. Guys, SeatGeek has your back. Each ticket is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, so you know how good of a deal you're getting. So look for the green dots. Green means good, red means bad, plus every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee.

Get those plans out of the group chat this fall and use code PLAYDATE10 for 10% off your SeatGeek tickets. That's 10% off tickets with promo code PLAYDATE10. Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically applied to your account so you can use it later. Thank you so much, SeatGeek, for sponsoring our pod. Let's get back into the episode. Woo-hoo! What team would Harry Potter play for if he was in the NFL?

Harry Potter would play for the—he would be a kicker for the— No, what? He'd be seeker. I mean quarterback. He'd be quarterback. Seeker. Wait, like adult Harry Potter? Adult Harry Potter would be like safety for the commanders. He'd be like a good middle linebacker.

You know Ron's a punter. You know Ron's goofy. Ron would be like Andy Dalton type. Or Mighty would be like a right guard. Yeah. Yeah. Can I pee and then we'll do the roadmap? Yeah.

One second. one second we're close to getting a good like harry potter thing okay harry potter harry potter would be hagrid would be like a solid fullback neville would be like cal raleigh long bottom all right we can go now what are you mailbagging right now no no i got a gift for andrew What? Oh, yeah, baby. For me? Yeah, yeah.

You already got me a gift today. It's not socks, right? And it's not another pair of Beats headphones. It's something much better. Oh, yeah, dude. These things make me want to walk out of the team bus. I know. We should have a bus pick us up on the way to work every day.

All right. You ordered this for Andrew? I didn't order. I just coordinated the order. Hold on. oh dude he doesn't like live animals all right andrew close your eyes what do you think it is can i hold it yeah you can hold it so far away yeah wait don't don't open your eyes yet don't open your eyes

uh all right playmates look what it is all right you want to hold it yeah all right are you gonna bring it to him or am i your brain willy willy i got it put your hands up put them like flat all right open them I have this whole body deodorant from Mando. You got Mando'd. You got Mando'd, you idiot.

Does it smell good? Yeah, it's whole body deodorant. No, it smells like ass. Yeah, I didn't even know about this. I kind of forgot about it, too. Wait, that's awesome. Yeah, I was just wondering about that. All right, so take Andrew's little lock and fix it with this.

Should we keep the L? For now. We'll figure out what to do with it. I feel like we might get yelled at if we get rid of it. I tried to light it on fire the other day, but it was... It was, yeah. It's like... The L, we threw the L out and destroyed it like the mirror in The Conjuring.

It just came back. Back. Yeah, you're making a... I like my reference. It's based on a movie I saw a week ago that no one has seen. Yeah. that's awesome thank you guys so much

you're very welcome yeah wait I wonder if we could spell anything with it now raw raw let's do raw

that one side I like that if someone came and was new they'd be like okay I kind of get what the other one's for

what's the L for raw raw I love it it's like we're like WWE now yeah you're listening to oh my god oh my god oh my god that could have been disastrous willie almost

just took down like four cameras and ended up in the other room you did take down two cameras stay in the position you were just in i want to film this for the play with willie just just stumbled here tripped over this cord and flung all the way over there are we good yeah oh my god i mean you made it way harder on yourself raw playdate raw playdate raw is once a month and we start like throwing each other around the room y'all rocking with playdate raw the most amount of stuff ever over there all right you guys are listening

or not listening we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches then we're gonna do am i the asshole then we're gonna do this guy rocks which i am i've been this excited about one of mine in a while well then i'm excited too thank you so we're a team we are a team and then we're gonna do teach me something and then willie and i are gonna do ways to say that you got laid last night followed by breaking bad themed cocktails and this is this the laid one is just a fastball for a guy like me wait what did you what were you talking about this morning did you get laid last night i get laid every night dude that's awesome i'm like and you get laid last night i've gotten laid every

night since i was 18 the only reason the only reason it started when it was 18 because you like that big of a rule follower i couldn't vote right and that was always like the turn on for me being able to vote franchise what the moment i became enfranchised i just started fucking she's she's she's like kissing your neck you're like not until not until i can vote in small time elections local elections not until i have a voice in our local government yeah it was like when i moved here and i wasn't registered that i like was celibate for like a month you had a dry you had a dry spell until you got your real id it wasn't for lack of trying like you would go out to the bars and you just don't have it i clearly didn't have it the old no the only thing you can

talk about with girls to get them to sleep with you is like what you're gonna vote on next i might prop 37 yeah you're just in shambles right now you want to do a prop 37 tonight it's like what does that mean prop 50 yes on prop 50 you're saying yes yes on yes i'm voting yes on prop 50 i'm saying i'm saying maybe i'm voting maybe on prop 50 i'm going i'll think about it all right give me a minute that'd be a good way to that'd be a good way to ask for consent like uh do you vote yes on prop 69 that is awesome ways to ask for consent well that was already one of my ways to take out late i voted yes on prop 69 did you actually no but i kind of want to do that now yeah do that or i'll steal it i voted yes on prop 68 i voted yes on prop 60

all right i'll add i'll add that have you guys ever 69'd like with each other yeah no yeah you don't remember oh you're he was blacked out fuck uh i actually have a funny 69 story yes i missed the ball drop one year i think i already told willie this i missed the ball drop one year oh yeah you did tell the story yeah you've told this on the play it on the podcast on the play it on the planet all right let's hear the only time he's 69 he missed the ball drop so he's gonna do it again well i'm just i have no idea how long it'll last i i just don't do it during the winter because i'm like yeah yeah you don't want to miss the ball way too close cutting it way too close it would really be funny if like every time you 69 you miss like a major

world event yeah it's like how cost every time castellanos hits a home run someone like dies yeah every dude i can't 69 every time i do it like i miss something awesome yeah yeah the last the last time i 69 the mets won the world series i bro 69 in 1986 i missed the whole i missed the whole series i'm so sad about the mets man i just don't get it it's all right you always got the jets fuck you dude the patriots are one and two i'm if anyone's feeling your pain right now that do we fumbled five times yesterday or yeah yes or yeah what no it's just like i was you were like or wait no we didn't oh wait that wasn't us

your friend your friend who's clearly lying one time i oh wait no we fumbled five times yesterday or however many times you think we did one time i uh or wait no that wasn't me your friend is awesome at icebreakers that's a tim den allen classic what is it you know one time i oh you know what wait that wasn't me that's your pitch all right it's a classic that is like something like a nervous guy like when you're like fresh first week of college you're trying to make friends that is like something someone said well one time i or actually no it wasn't me all right am i the pitch wait don't we didn't do our pitches oh yeah we pitch each other

shark attacks wait don't we normally hear their pictures yeah you hear these pictures first oh well i'm not gonna tell you what mine is until after this hey marshmallow graham cracker and chocolate chocolate cracker i guess some marshmallow and graham uh love the pod shout out to willie for accepting my linkedin request i just went through the other day it's like all playmates i think and i just accepted everyone i gotta go check uh what's the worst thing about grocery shopping wait one really quickly have you seen my linkedin lately it says professional basketball player changed it i announced like a week ago i'm now an inventor at nasa and are you really yeah and i do like multiple of my professors at rollins were like congratulations keep keep

rising really you taught me you know that i think they don't even like read it they just get a notification like one of your students is yeah there's like an automated response of like keep rising to the top um all right continue so it'd be kind of cool if that was actually real and you were just doing these side quests so we didn't know inventor yeah bro's doing side quests i Bro's just doing SideQuest now. Bro's just doing SideQuest now. Bro's now just... Bro's literally just doing...

Now Bro is just doing SideQuest. Literally, Bro's just doing SideQuest now. Here's something. It's like a picture of, like, The Rock, like, bowling. It's a picture of, like, Pedro Pascal, like... Fishing? Fishing. Bro's just doing SideQuest.

Dude, Bro is actually living the SideQuest lifestyle. A famous person has, like, a hobby, and the caption's like, Bro's just doing SideQuest. He's at a... Yeah, Adam Sandler will get, like, a coffee somewhere. Bro is literally just doing side quests. Adam Sandler wearing gym shorts at Ralph's? Bro does not stop doing side quests.

Bro's just out here doing side quests. Bro's life. What is Bro's life? Oh, man. What the hell is, like, our job? what is our job how do i explain this like my aunts and uncles you get if we lived in if we lived in like a universe where there was actually a superhero it'd be like you'd be like batman at the coffee shop bruce wade is literally just doing side quests all right wait who is the

that's the randomest activity you can think of a celebrity doing weird alice hitting the elf bar bro bro weird out get back in the studio and stop doing sidequests out here doing bro took bro took white and nerdy too serious what about um are you you have to do this now no i'm choosing to um this is sick dude shut up beats robert f kennedy driving a 18 wheeler robert why did robert f kennedy is here all right this is my robert f kennedy impression i don't think man what's going on with covid what the hell are in our vaccines

that was my real one take your beats off let's get serious i'm real i can hear you are you are you happy with how this is going i'm mogging what is mogging is that like pogging it's robert f kennedy with a pog all right how about i just do it like this bro will not stop doing side quests all right hit the hit the graham cracker all right what's oh what's the worst thing about grocery shopping i get really always you always see celebrities doing side quest you're going to like you're going through like the aisle and it's just like so many other carts and it's like annoying or like you leave your car and then it's blocking someone's access to like the crackers they want it seems like everyone else there knows where everything they

need is and i pass them multiple times and it looks like i go down the same aisle like four times before i realize yeah uh yep it's not knowing where everything is in the store and keep having to go back and forth wait actually this is not in order yep job goaded um did you read it no oh nice introducing aisle guide an app that's like a gps for grocery stores aisle guide has a database of all grocery stores across the nation where everything is you put your grocery list uh in ahead of time and it guides you through the store aisle by aisle in the shortest amount of time so you can avoid going back and forth in the store when you remember something you forgot uh yeah i love sit out love love love love i also would like to add a feature where it's

like it's like a children's tv show when you're like the item is in your viewpoint it goes like and like glows green can you find the can you find the cores light can yeah i would like a feature that if it if there's a guy you want to follow it can like pause the route and target lock onto him do you follow guys at the grocery sometimes i'm like killing you know you ever leave like way too early and you're like if i go if i you were supposed to be somewhere like 6 30 and you realize that you're making way too good a time you don't want to show up too early at somewhere so just kill some time i did that this weekend yeah you would kill some time in the grocery store i was like well i'm like i'm way too

fucking early i mean it usually doesn't happen in the grocery store but like yeah i'll like sit in my car oh yeah oh you know what dude all time can you take your beats off i can't take you nah bro i'm fitted bro is fitted what are you doing i'm fit maxing bro's jealous man can a white boy wear some beats for once don't mind if a white boy speak a little chinese all right um let me say this i'm gonna tell you this let me just say this i like to get up and close up and personal with a razor shop object first i'm gonna puncture your lung first thing i'm gonna do i'll punch you along i'm gonna and then i will my favorite is when he he forgets what

he was gonna say this is a freestyle battle and then he he retraces steps first up first thing i'm gonna do i'm gonna puncture your neck then i'm gonna get up close and personal with a razor sharp object puncture puncture your neck razor sharp then i will cut your face off wear it like a sock i'm from brooklyn that's all right all right wait i was saying something yes oh i'm sorry no i forget you the last thing you said was you mind if a white boy speak a little chinese forgive forgive me for forgive me for assuming i could take you off the hook there uh you know that place in lax we always see that's like does he have an you ever since you put these like beats on you like a new way cooler accent you're like all right

i in la in lax they have a um you know that place where you can like rent a video game video game machine like we always see it's like a place you can like they have like a bunch of tvs with xboxes and you can like pay by the hour to like play xbox i've never seen that and like i always see it i'm always like in the right scenario this would be awesome it's just like i never get there with enough time it would be sad if if this was not a layover like you got there early to go play video games well so liam and i on we went to the airport we were just like in fort worth and we didn't go to the game and we're like need to go to the airport i don't know we're like we'll just get there like kind of early might as well there's no point in cutting it close we had nothing to do so

we get to the airport early and there's one right by our gate in dallas so we did we rented an xbox and played ncaa football while we were waiting for our flight and it was fucking awesome and we were both like we should like we actually should do this like just go to the airport early but and then we were because they said you can go like get food and bring it in they sell like snacks and stuff um and then we and they said like if you get it for the whole day they hold your spot for you so you can just like come and go get grab lunch come back and then we were like beers and come back like hammered yeah i think you could bring a beer maybe like if you can get one there so yeah but i was also actually i think they might sell beers there too uh the the funniest thing would

be like a guy who's like hates his wife which is like okay just any guy right come on i fucking love you guys i fucking love you guys so like a guy who hates his wife and it's like but she has a location or something you'd be like oh yeah my bag's taken forever like he if going when your flight just landed oh yeah it's how you stop at jersey mike's on the way out yeah just stopping at the on the way out and like playing playing like an hour of fortnight and then coming home would be like that's the move anyway it was fun that makes me incredibly sad um no no that wasn't the um no it actually wasn't sad oh wait have you tried thinking about it and then not sad oh actually i'm not saying are you ever sad do you get sad a lot i think i've been sad before

yeah yeah never do you think you're more like if you take out the time where you're not really feeling an emotion you're just like baseline do you think you're more happy do you think you're happy more often or sad more often i think it comes and goes but i think it's like right now like i feel like everything like my life's good so i'm happy more often yeah but like when i'm sad then i'm sad more often than happy i don't know if you said anything there but i'm saying like it's like a seasonal or not like it's just like that's how life is so life's good right now yeah dude i'm like i'm like thriving what's new in your life that's awesome i'm in the best shape of my entire life you are i i ran i ran a 739 pace for a half marathon

yesterday who came someone came up to me in uh someone came up to me when i was in kentucky and said your strava is nuts who would follow you does harper follow you on strava maybe someone was like your oh you know i think it was luke bonnell i believe i don't know semantics but yeah your life's your life's goaded right now yeah the mats are horrible you got a chica you got a new chica that's pretty beast girl that's pretty beast i gotta see about a girl wait what is that from good will hunting and it is it is not in that voice well i gotta see about a girl man yeah is she a playmate did she watch she's a huge playmate nice yeah that's how they met yeah yeah i dm'd you yeah it was um well no it was like i like uh did like a one of our like

meet and greets meet one of our meet and greet one of our mug meet and greet when we did one of those mug meet and greets right yeah she was waiting there she was like shaking nervous to meet me and i was like this is the perfect power dynamic to start a relationship right and you didn't even ask her if she wanted to start dating it was just no it was just like who wouldn't right i just kind of knew right well i mean it's when you live like this when you do this kind of shit it's like you get picked you should you should start wearing those to the bar like that i think so i was laughing about that it would yeah would it i was i guess this is gonna out myself would it be funny if i brought a baseball glove to the game

if you go to the baseball game with a girl is it an ick if you bring a glove no that's awesome 100 100 is an it is yeah no i think that's definitely i think that's awesome yeah no i think that would have been really funny but i didn't uh were you in an area that balls oh yeah right and left field like fourth row in the outfield and left or right field sorry i was right by drew gilbert and that was sort of uh poetic because let me see let me just tell let me answer let me actually answer your question edgar when willie's with a girl balls are always flying wait like at her face oh yeah i'm always throwing my balls at her face drew gilbert was right in right field who the mets traded for tyler rogers at the deadline

sacrificed our future for a rental and we're not even going to make the playoffs so sort of like a reminder right keep the one keep the one you got i i just don't want to be around anymore why because of the mets wait oh this changed like 30 seconds ago yeah you were on a roll that's like that video where of uh of vitality do you know that or what's his name no foosie tube is on a podcast and he's talking like about something super seriously and the guy just screen records and he just skips 10 seconds and he's like humping the ground or whatever it was like all i did all i did was skip to say he was horribly depressed 10 seconds ago that was the inverse of that willie was like my life is awesome and they just kind of picked it a little

bit more i don't want to be around anymore yeah i just think i don't know should we hear another the pitch shark attack simulator haven't you always wondered like a little bit like how would i fare right like i i think there's there's a few i think you start with shark attacks because that's like it'd be easy to execute obviously you just get a fake shark or you train you train a shark to fake attack you but you could apply to like uh uh uh volcano eruption simulator like there's all these scenarios that i've always run through in my head whenever i'm in like yeah like you're in the airplane like airplane malfunction right crash landing in the water simulator like i would like terrorist simulator like terrorist simulator terrorist simulator yeah

like how would i because yes a lot of times i'll see like you know there was that there was like a woman that got bitten in half in maine by a shark or like oh but she's a terrorist oh he was he you should have seen him he was fucking huge no it took him up bitten in half by it took him all day it was like a thousand bites um and i always just think like if i if that was me it wouldn't have gone on like that that's what i'm saying like i wanted i want a chance we could also like put mark walberg you know he said like oh he would stop one of his famous quotes was like if i was on that plane like it wouldn't hit the tower you'd be like all right get in the get in the terrorist simulator yeah i think terrorist simulator with the shark attack mod yeah or like

uh shark terrorist simulator it's like oh my god you're on it you're on a plane and there's like there's like a shark with a briefcase next to you yeah he gets them if you ran into a if you ran into a shark terrorist and the guy they they come out like chicken or fish fish fish he's like see like oh you got the fish didn't you or that's like the whole plot of airplane right y'all rocking with airplane come on wait if you were next to if you were next to a shark terrorist are you more worried about his bomb or him and he can breathe probably more worried about his motivation for his uh terrorism is it it's like eco-related eco-terrorism yeah no no no no no no he's an eco-terrorist

it's it's about the ecosystem what if a shark is an eco-terrorist what is that something mark cuban nice i think he's actually pretty good for the he's also an investor of ours oh yeah i love you cubes hey mark human i love you i'm trying to get renewed i've met him twice and the only the first time i met him angus and i went up to ask for a picture and uh usually when like a big celebrity like that i feel like takes photos they like move away pretty quickly and he's just like a really normal guy so he just kind of like kept hanging out i was like oh my god i hadn't thought about what i was gonna say to him outside of like

can we get a picture so i just i was like you really missed out on scrub daddy and he was like what and i was like yes because like i get those tiktok clips like every week it's like the biggest missed opportunity in history yes yes i get those all the time scrub that ring doorbell scrub that yeah i think he got i think he actually got in on the ring okay i got one i got one what's the worst part what's the worst part about like you get on a plane and and you're like i would like to map right now you got an aisle there's a crying baby you're worried like while you're baby while you're asleep like the drink cart's gonna come and you're gonna like miss out on like sun chips

and a diet coke sure i would like and you don't like know the people next to you so you can't be like when they come will you get me this you there should be a beanie that you can wear that there's a there are different sliders they go around it and they're like the one see-through hole so you could like put like on the top there's like a sign that comes off that's like this is what i want from the lady and you could slide it to be like diet coke and then you could like slide it to be like cheese it's and then when you wake up there's a fresh diet coke and cheese it's on your tray table my question is like so they put the tray table down and just set it there for you you'd fall asleep like this with the tray table out the tray table out and on your

hat there's like a flashing sign that says like read if it read if you're a flight attendant read if dead check my pulse but also give me a diet coke yeah and cheez-its i like that delta adding cheez-its as a snack option has been yeah when did that i don't know it's fucking goaded it happened during you know you and i didn't travel for like a couple like two months yeah i didn't travel for the couple months i think it happened in that window all right should we hear an am i the ass swipe yeah i'm sorry sometimes they let you change on the screen like i'm waking up for snacks or something you ever had that really yeah i swear like united high-tech plane are you wake me up for snacks wake me up wake me up for snacks wake up wake me up for snacks

wake me up wake me up for snacks wake up wake up wake me up for snacks say save me a bag of last yesterday oh that was the other thing that's funny the dodgers game was like kind of like feeling you know the drinks by the end of it and it was like i guess it was like mickey mouse night it's like between the innings like hot dog hot dog hot diggity dog and i was kind of it was kind You're just like hammered in your seat. Worst date ever. My ex or my boyfriend blacked out at Mickey Mouse night at Dodgers.

Throw up in your like, like Mickey Mouse ear hat. I throw up in my ear hat like I'm Earhart. I throw up in my ear hat like I'm Earhart, Amelia. I put another beer back. Got the beer farts. I'm serious. Give me that ship. I'm a steer that.

I steer farts. I'm still hard. Your boyfriend is hammered at Mickey Mouse night with the biggest boner you've ever seen. Worst date ever. And he's got a glove. And he catches a home run. So it's on TV. my new my new boyfriend blacked out at mickey mouse night with a huge boner and then caught a

home run so everyone saw it all right let's hear it am i am i the asshole for blacking out at mickey mouse night and getting a huge boner catching a home run so everyone saw it he's like he has a huge boner and his shirt's covered it's covered in throb he's wearing mickey mouse ears and his gym shorts are out they're like no you're his gym shorts are touching the person in front of him he's like am i the asshole we play perfectly sober girls sitting next to him yeah we're guys

we're gonna do that we're gonna black out while our girlfriend's sober I'm a guy I'm gonna black out while my girlfriend's sober I had Panera Red with my girlfriend

last night it was awesome LBB it was busting last time I went to a Dodgers game people were hitting around beach balls and one of the guys grabbed it

popped it and goes watch the game no way that's kind of awesome hey this is what we're here for it was we were like the very top like section 800 or something it was like not a level where there's like serious like yeah you know but the guy was still like watch the fucking game wait how did he pop it huh they're pretty i think you can just like mangle them yeah he had something in his hand or something that popped it there is a uh i saw you know john boy media love him just the one of the greatest accounts like

whenever it's like a lot of like lip reading of like baseball players coming out so you can like hear what they're arguing about the umps and the other day uh the red sox ball boy got hit in the head by a foul ball and but the wave is coming behind him so every fan except for one guy is like looking anticipating the wave coming towards them and the the ball boy gets hit in the head and then immediately one of the old ladies jumps the gun like jumps the wave by like 15 yards and he's the guy's commentating it and uh and then like another young boy jumps it and then the wave goes by and there was only one guy in the stands that saw this kid like almost die jesus man all right they did the wave oh speaking of lip readings of baseball players coming out

is that what you said like coming out of onto the field okay because that would be like a funny it's all lip readings of like he's like he's like you're out of here he's like no i'm fucking gay man wait do you know about the mike piazza gay thing though no wait can this be my teach me something in advance yeah because this is better than my teach me something and it's really funny uh in 2000 like interest though what there's gonna be interest since we're kind of we're loaning it to you in advance okay sure yeah yeah i'll pay i'll do a double teach me something in two weeks you've do one and one and a quarter teach me for the next week uh mike piazza in like 2003 or something was like slumping and the new york like post or someone and like other new york

media outlets all just started putting out like articles like the reason he's slumping is because he's like a closeted gay guy and so he hosts he announced a press conference hosted a standalone press conference where he just went up and said i'm not gay look up mike piazza gay i'm not kidding there's this all-time new york post headline that's just i'm not gay and it's a picture of like piazza piazza not piazza confirmed not gay yeah no bad at baseball you have to be for like a week he was like slump he was just having like a tough season you're playing so bad for like a couple weeks stretch that people start thinking you're gay imagine if like we had so many we'd like a couple like not very funny podcasts in a row

and we had to host a press conference i mean i would i would host a press conference if you were gonna come out how would you do it party i think i'd just like get little things to hint at it yeah you like be at the water cooler and like bend over and either be like a huge thong or something yeah is that what they do i think that's what i would do all right take that out i'm thinking about coaching my son's like t-ball game in the future yeah and he starts getting the yips and be like have you ever considered maybe you like men yeah he's like 12 yeah coaching her i think it's because he's get there's nothing wrong with it yeah i think coaching your kids t-ball game in the future

it's like and he zorps one to fork face and the second borksman your vision of baseball in the future it seems like the the game is pretty similar but just Maybe the terminology is... Yeah, it's like Zorp and Gork and Gronk. Gronk is in it. It's all the... But all the guys from the Savannah Bananas are like... That's like our Babe Ruth.

Yeah. That's like their Babe Ruth. The Savannah Bananas are like the Babe Ruth for joke ball. Y'all rocking with joke ball? I feel like these episodes are money. We should do the Savannah Bananas tonight for a softball game. Oh, my God. Oh my god, can we do like backflips and stuff?

Oh my god, it takes Rick that. Savannah Bananas, but like you don't know how to do any of the tricks. Yeah, exactly. That'd be really funny. All right, should we hear it on Am I the Asshole? It's a banana ball. Yes, we shall. This is a short one.

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want a long one? Kind of. Wake me up. Wake me up with rye. Luther Candle Hands. Luthor Candlehands, he got arrested for public indecency.

Is that true? Yeah. How did you find that out? He did Luthor Candledong. It's always the one you least expect. It's the guys you never see a couple. Luthor Candlehands. All right, can we do Am I the Asshole?

Yes, yes. Okay. Am I the asshole for kicking a hole in my roommate's wall? I know off the first sentence the answer is yes, but hear me out on this one. rough night at the bars got home kicked a hole in the wall don't really remember why woke up the next morning everyone was freaking out about it i remembered it was me a chicken doll and i didn't want to pay for it all at once i didn't admit to the chicken doll yeah what happened i remembered

it was me a chicken doll and didn't want to pay for the whole what is the chicken doll man what's chicken doll can you google chicken doll you never well isn't it one of those like rubber things your buddy who missed like he was sick the week we learned what noises animal made yeah your buddy was in coat your buddy your buddy who was in animals during covid took animals on your brother your buddy who took animals on zoom your buddy took animals on zoom i said it faster what does it mean what does the chicken doll thing okay right did you ever know a frat that had to like take care of an animal no yeah that's fucked uh except except mine and i'm the animal um my frat life is insane yeah have you ever heard about will's frat life

my frat life is will had a goaded frat life it was just like sorority sisters left and right sorority sisters on the left sorority sisters on the right sorority oh speaking of guys i went to college with the starting pitcher for the dodgers yesterday kid in my grade from bc nice and he's 10 strikeouts seven scoreless innings and you have like a podcast and i have a pocket but i was a big softball game tonight i messaged him and he was like oh i think you might maybe come by the office oh nice oh nice okay wait so i want to get back to this wall hole wall wall hole i I didn't admit to kicking a hole in the wall, but instead I've been self-consciously paying for drinks and keeping a tab in my notes app on my phone. Wait, pause.

I thought they knew it was him. No. Oh, nice. This is a crazy move. So it costs $120 to fix the hole. I've currently worked my way up to $80 over the past two years. We got one more year left in us, and I think I can accomplish $120 and the damages. after saying this out loud i'm slowly realizing how much of a piece of shit i am but i want to

hear your guys thoughts wait i have a quite here's my thing and maybe this is a hot take the wall thing doesn't really bother me what i'm confused about is like people who haven't kicked a hole in their roommate's wall have definitely bought them more than 80 worth of drinks over the last two years like i like it i like that it's i like that he's keeping tab and that it's that it's not impressive you're keeping a tab you're keeping a tab and it's just like what a normal roommate who did not kick yeah like there's probably like i probably accidentally bought like 80 at least that you and i you and i have probably over the years bought hundreds of dollars of drinks for each other yes on accident they're probably also like

oh you got this last round i'll get this yeah oh yeah no yeah it is actually i forgot about that it probably is hard to it is hard to probably get away with get away with it without them being like i would you know what i would do let's just call him and tell him something else i would give him an envelope full of cash for the remaining 40 bucks yeah anonymously oh are you calling him yeah but i'm not gonna say anything about this should i call him and see if he wants to come to the boner meetup no that's nothing your call has been forwarded to voicemail the person you're trying to reach is not available at the tone please record your message when you have finished recording you may hang up

hey just want to see if you're still coming um to the boner meetup okay all right bye that was actually here's the here's the thing the boner meetup thing isn't funny unless unless like what exactly just happened happened which is like i would i would that would be i would cherish that voicemail for the rest of my life if a guy called me and kind of hit me with like a mediocre line and then you just heard him be like oh what am i doing i gotta wear more high-waisted jeans all right we should this guy rocks now yeah wait but so you you you should have you should have just you should have just uh you should have just owned

up been like yeah i'm sorry i kicked you a hole in your wall here's 100 not that expensive or also honestly why are you guys even fixing it i knew kids that i feel like everyone was kicking holes in wall and no one uh we had like 30 goals in our house in college all right you were paused this immediately and i mean immediately oh my god i got a great one i forgot about this it's go to real quick willie um what mike are you mogami no what number does it say on there i'm seven so i would assume he's six what is it what number does it say on your mic six sorry what number is yours seven you guys just got six seven not get six seven you guys just got six

plan i mean plan and i were watching uh was it sunday night was it the sunday night game yesterday and unless i'm unless i saw it on instagram reels or i can't remember if i saw from a different game or if it was actually on the broadcast i was like kind of out of it was there a six seven cam at one of the games yesterday or did i make that up like they would like went around to everyone in the stands and all the people were like google like six seven cam are you trying to say no no i can't i mean this would this wouldn't even count as six sevening you you just it would just be put uh nfl oh you got six no like no like six seven cam like at like mlb game or nfl game no maybe i made this i mean i could have sworn i saw you

hallucinated a six seven call me comment below if if i'm not crazy because i could have sworn i saw six seven can you do meme where one where one guy's nuts are out but he doesn't know pull up pull up go pull up my vote by this guy rocks and pause it immediately red's prospect cam collier okay pause this immediately and i mean immediately all right this is my new this my new favorite guy i've ever followed on tiktok okay he does like different things that he wished he could say to his teacher his grandparents his parents or whatever and they're all extremely specific to his life got it so and do you have the tv remote yeah this is the this first it's mainly the first one he does but all of them are funny

this first one is the hardest i watched this on the plane it was one of those ones where i'd like put my head in my hands on the tray table because i looked like a lunatic wait sorry for the listener for the audio listeners this is things i wish i could say to my teacher as part three ready yep i'm doing more than landon's ass he was just sitting here throwing the temper tantrum about doing work uh last time i checked she started cussing at me not the other way around so the fact that you're still trying to check me just fucking means you don't like me so fuck you again they she threw a ball at my face it's gonna damage my glasses so and once again you're trying this is the second time you've tried to check me so clearly like i

said earlier that just means you don't fucking like me you just wanted to have something against me so again fuck you i find it really funny that i'm getting the baby only one getting the baby on the last week clearly your eyes just think i'm less than the other kids so fuck you we pause it really i'm the only one getting a bagel than last week baby i think yeah i don't know i think he may now that i'm watching this second time i think he may be in a different type of class i that i'm doing more it's like a lot of it's like not that bad and then at the end he's just like fuck you fuck you like the first part is like i think you could say that yeah my my favorite is i'm doing more than landon's ass he was just throwing a temper tantrum by doing work and then the top

comment was landon watching this and it was a guy being like what the fuck can you go to yeah look it's landon watching this it's brian all right go to wait go to his profile there's one more i want of this guy that got me so fucking good brian's great have you seen family guy yeah two things i could wish i could say to my teachers part three wait wasn't the last one part three yeah yeah maybe you just did it again what the fuck are you talking about i was doing the exercise i got scoliosis so it's gonna be a little bit more harder to me to fucking do it shut up shut the fuck up i like this i love scoliosis one of my favorite it's one of my favorite guys ever i like i'm

doing more than landon's ass what the fuck i mean do the exercise i have scoliosis it's gonna be a little harder shut the fuck up he wasn't saying landon landon was doing anything like overtly wrong he was just like having a hard time with the with the exercise doing more than landon's ass broke ass all right let's see i feel i think that's what i wrote in my diary as a kid fuck you miss anderson fuck you miss anderson fuck you miss anderson yeah two of the things he wish he could say to his teacher this time we're uh shut up and shut the fuck up i get it i've been there i didn't get two abs yet no i don't work out my abs at all it's just gonna i think that would require me doing any sort of ab exercise no because under there there are abs i guess

that could have been like really bad at least he didn't act on impulse he waited and then decided that was the right course of action you guys ready for teach me something oh yeah I already did mine teach me something do you guys ever hear about 536 AD yeah

worst year worst year ever like like bar none worst year ever wait i was your last teach me something was this is actually i this is a real coincidence i saw a tiktok about it i wrote down my nap i wrote down my notes app we're down on a napkin i heard down on a nap like like snapping at a waiter like well it's still fresh in my mind um worst year ever so some like fog covered the whole world because of like a volcano erupted and it was dark for like the whole year oh jesus so like

crops everyone's crops died i think the black plague was happening at this time summer temperatures dropped like to an unbelievably cold with the black plague was in five let me make let me make sure let me make sure oh no it was a different play it was a different way the plague of justinian which was like wiped out 50 of the eastern roman empire uh what it's just like funny as wait were people alive in 536 ad yeah jesus had died 536 years before yeah oh what do you think ad was i don't know he thought it was an ad uh it was it was it was it uh it feels like you're reading this for the first time because i had to google it again so i'm trying to like the the tiktok i saw had it all condensed into one thing i'm now i'm trying to like nitpick it

um okay here we go here we go luca got traded here we go lakers global fog global global fog blocked the sun for 18 months uh the temperatures were the coldest it was the coldest decade in 2 000 years widespread crop failure and famine that plague came uh it was complete economic collapse because of it uh and then did they have the dow jones back then no but oh my god your stocks would have been yeah all right well you guys can all google it at home because i that was also the year i broke up with my high school girlfriend yeah my girlfriend broke up with me in 536 ad it was actually because of the fog which is when do you think with the first time someone got head was you think it was before or after 536 ad way after i think it was like last 10 years

yeah at least from my experience in my i never got it i never got it around you never got like google first documented blowjob okay no no don't go no no wait wait let's all guess let's all guess mine is like before the year zero there's no documenting yes there's definitely the first documented blowjob it's definitely like the one of those like hieroglyphics because like in dude in pompeii they when they like went through the stuff they found brothels where you could point at what thing you wanted on the wall and there was an option for blowjob have you seen the pompeii guy like jack it off oh really yeah he went out doing what he loved oh that's so funny no no is dude that's so ass all right so here's the question andrew do you think that he

do you think he got taken by the the lava by surprise or do you think that he saw it coming realized he wasn't gonna be able to get out and was like fuck it i'm going out i'm going on fighting i think no i think it's gotta be lava by surprise there's no way you see lava and you're like one more no i think he wanted to go out this way he's like a pyromaniac it was the most excited he's ever been it was a once in a lifetime spanking he got so hard instantly when he saw the lava coming they will pompey apparently was like notorious like one of the horniest places of all like it was like half of their economy it was like brothels wow so it was like their bar stool yeah they were like it was like their bar stool yeah pompey was like their bar stool

yeah what does that mean like bar stool it's um i'll send you it's like a blog are they like horny oh yeah oh barstool is horny i don't get it pompeii was like bars it was like barstool like um tom like uh marty mush was there but for pompeii and like tommy smokes and like it was like their barstool so it's like they had call her daddy and they had um smitty was there and i think ohio tate ohio tate was like a big guy for pompeii but for their version of it it was a different guy so he wasn't called that because that's obviously a reference to like modern day ohio but he was called like just tate i think but he was for pompeii he was like ohio tate from barstool but for pompeii which was their barstool at that time yeah

what the fuck are we talking about mincy was there they're their own brianna chicken how many people right and uh they they did the uh big cat it was like the mayor was wrong there no pft it's not a perfect comp movie movie was there movie was the uh she did like um uh uh well uh no but she would be like she would be like uh chicken hail caesar salad or something because there was rome because and uh Pompeii was a mountain, and that was in the past for many people. What? And PFT was there.

Commenter. PFT commenter was. So that was their barstool, basically, for that time period. It's like how we have barstool now. They had that back then. Andrew saying Pompeii was like medieval barstool is literally the most confused I've ever been. I've never been more confused by that comment. Wait.

This will make it more sense. Okay. You know how they do the barstool smoke show of the week? Yeah. So for Pompeii, since they were like the barstool, it would be like the Pompeii smoke show of the – I guess they didn't have weeks then, but of the year. Are you guys proud of this? I'm really just so sad every day, and I try to climb out of it, and then I do this to myself. And Billy Football was there.

What was Billy doing? Billy Football got fired, dude. oh the pompeii one okay all right let's move on i'm so confused i like this bit all right should we do uh do you guys want to do our do you guys want to do our ways to say you got late last night or breaking bad cocktails wait breaking bad cocktails yeah dude i did break bad episodes that don't exist wait you skimmed my text you skimmed i know you yeah you skimmed it you skimmed my motherfucking text who's oh

i read let's do a popular movie or tv show and then i didn't read themed cocktails well this is gonna be a fun draft like i do breaking bad no i can i can i can take on them i'll be okay all right i was excited about my breaking bad episode we'll do that we'll do that next we'll do that next that'll be fun okay you haven't even finished the show yet so what if you predict an episode i'm very coming out later episode they're kind of funny but yeah they're good damn it i'm sorry no worries this will actually be this is like i texted this morning i go we should riff some to see if we can do anything like the presidential things maybe maybe yeah all right yeah or you can just do your uh your harry potter ones

like yeah yeah just like nuke the yeah i think i can get some okay these are breaking bad themed cocktails that don't exist uh implies the existence of breaking bad themed cocktails that do exist yeah uh the dea which is daiquiri eggnog and aperol oh i don't know if that sounds very good it's really yummy uh the walt jr teeny skylarita shut the fuck up um the walter white russian the jesse pink drink it's not bad have you seen it andrew no fuck okay i don't even know if you've gotten to this

episode yet but the wait don't spoil it it's not gonna it's just like a quote it's like a very famous quote the i'm the one who schnapps i do know what you're doing that that's great actually um one second gus fring manhattan winnebago old-fashioned when the chemistry mint julep The chemistry in mint julep is horrible. The... Oh, my God.

The... Keep going. the uh crazy eight tom collins all right you're gonna like this one you're gonna like this one because this comes from episode that you know okay the captain cooks and it's captain morgan and cooks champagne oh what is cooks champagne it's just like a brand of okay shitty champagne um yes yes now we're back

now we're back on track right yes now it's now we're back on track uh the mr white hot toddy all right the blue glass is blue uv and everclear oh what is blue uv i think it's just like a blue vodka i don't know why it's called that oh all right should we do ways to say you're sorry it's all right i really thought it's all right i've got good bring bad episodes i know i'm sure we'll do it soon we'll do that draft soon okay these are ways to say you got laid last night the force was with me mount me erupted last night you even got that one like barstool shut the fuck up

you just walk in you go working on that weekend like usual did you forget to do this no i did that was one that i wrote down uh we made the human spider because there's eight limbs i answered life's great riddles i voted yes on prop 69 that's the best one i know that's so good the lord hath smiled upon me you don't like mine no i do no no i don't like mine that's why i'm saying i'm like i'm like embarrassed to tell you these in some countries they'd stone you for what we did last night my whole body hurts and stinks we played the sport with two balls last night i want to just preface i have been trying to get

better about just getting my thoughts out and kind of working through them so yeah instead of keeping them all in so not all these are gonna be hits but let's just let's just hear them out we built the two-story human house last night she had a 7-10 split and i threw a gutter ball um we did the dance with no name uh we did the one minute workout let's just say i hit the green in regulation oh i took the last flight in from jabuti i don't want to draft anything anymore i think we've done all of them i think we should just get rid of the podcast i think we should start a new one because this one we start a new podcast same guys same guys the only problem we learned nothing from this play

date raw okay you're listening you guys are listening to play date raw i was waiting for one to be like i was hanging with the man and oh yeah like the man i was the man in pink last night a whole yeah i was talking to the man in brown i can't believe willie didn't willie didn't crawl out of his skin i don't even think he heard that one no what'd you say i said i was the man in pink last night do you think like this like potty humor is going to appeal to like the intellectuals that listen to this podcast that actually that's what i'm going to start answering like so i met a couple people this weekend and they were like what do you do or whatever and i was like oh i have a podcast with my friend will they're like what is it i should literally just be like it's

it's literally just potty humor it's potty humor potty we did we made body humor last night body humor all right should we do mailbag one at a time we don't have any mailbag zero at a time mailbag zero at a time mailbag it does not rhyme all right that was mailbag zero at a time let's do rusty songs of song of the day oh my god wait do you guys should we even talk about this but that david guy like killed or possibly killed that like 13 year old girl yeah i don't know if there's anything to say about it that hasn't already been said okay yeah let's just hear a little bit okay okay we were gonna want a statement though yeah um it wasn't me i did it in the shower wasn't me i did it in the shower yeah are you just drinking this warm i don't give a fuck

do you not know i'm a bad boy podcaster it wasn't me it wasn't me but shaggy is really bumped pumped about the shower sex he had last night we did it in the shower we did it in the shower it wasn't me i was still in the shower it wasn't me i was doing it in the shower it wasn't me how the hell do you turn on this shower it wasn't me how do i get it hot it's not hot it wasn't me i'm still in the shower it wasn't me do you think i am growing yes physically yes still do you think and i tell you edge the other day he's convinced i'm getting i'm still growing that would be awesome that'd be really fun all right rusty's song of the day today is ever long by the foo fighters you're my ever that's not how it goes how's it go again i know that song

it's not really it's like I don't know I feel this way forever have a great rest of your Wednesday have a great

Monday have a great weekend and we will see you bright and early on Monday yeah I'm really proud of you guys where some see heroes

and others see egos Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes while others follow the noise we follow the money