Will & Rusty's Playdate - Heir to the Cone

Episode Date: February 7, 2024

If you are listening on an audio platform, please kindly make your way over to YouTube. This episode is best enjoyed visually. CLICK HERE: https://youtu.be/Yg7DrSuXNmg Will exposes Lauren’s middle school YouTube channel, the gang dives into more r/AmItheAsshole posts, and Will & Rusty draft Disney Channel shows and British soccer teams that don’t exist. They also pull an EPIC prank. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod (00:00) Lauren’s Childhood (04:51) Intro (12:20) Pitch Submissions (21:28) Pitches (26:30) Pranking Lauren (29:31) r/AmItheAsshole (33:41) COVID (40:06) Disney Channel shows that Don’t Exist (48:38) British Soccer teams that Don’t Exist (53:45) On this Day in History (59:27) Whose Personality are you Stealing? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Will can you just give us a breakdown of what's happening right now why are you in Lauren's seat Lauren why are you in Will's seat I was goofing off a little before we were getting going and uh having to search Lauren Hoagland in YouTube oh my gosh and apparently she was a she has 177 subscribers that's like more than just your friends yeah yeah so I don't even know what we're getting into we'll give us a setup what are we watching right now I don't really know what's the title read it out beautiful carly ray jefferson featuring justin bieber music video so i'm i'm just off the bat i'm assuming beebs is is it's not actually featuring beebs i can't imagine he you got him for this no let's just let's just find out yep

oh my god soccer love lauren is this actually lauren singing no oh my god flexing flexing the whip i like it the red dipped hair oh my god the camera angles are kind of sick cringe how old are you lauren this can't be great you're like six okay eleven all right cringe that scarf is 10 times your size i know i was tiny Oh my god Lauren, was this directed at a certain boy at school? No, I didn't like anyone

I was like asexual for all my life Lauren, we're learning now that Lauren knew gymnastics You were 11 You weren't asexual, you were a child I was pretty horned up at 11 It's crazy that My skin was still that clear You would be able to tell that's Lauren immediately

I know Oh, monkey bars Yeah, I was a gymnast You had a pretty sweet backyard setup Yeah, I fell off that playset and broke my arm Oh, that's my dog He's not alive anymore What happened?

He died Wow Should we, let's Oh, alright Here we go You didn't even have to click anything this is teenage dream by katie perry i look pretty good this seems like a fairly nice camera what was this on um or was it on like a flip no it was on like a canon power shot i don't know

this is what started my love for like making videos it's kind of cute can you imagine telling her that you would produce the largest playdate centric podcast well can you even hear me in this That dog is so cute. Yeah. Can you hear me talking? I know it was you. All right. We're not going to watch this.

Yeah, I think this was fantastic. Well, if you guys in your own time ever want to watch my 400 videos that I have. I just want to see, like, what. Lauren, 13, YouTube photographer. A born to die. Oh, my gosh. Do you guys know what the Malkskid is? No, let's watch it.

Oh. Hey, Don, do you have anything to drink? Yeah. Grab me a glass of milk. They don't have any milk, but I can get you some milk. That's what he just said. Yeah, it's just a milk. No, you're saying you're wrong.

You're saying milk. It's a disease. Is my camera on? I'm saying it the way everyone ought to say it. Milk. M-I-L-K. Right. Like 2%.

Right. Whole milk. No, no, no, no. Say milkshake. Milkshake. Okay. Now say milk. Milk.

Why is this, like, triggering? This is a great, like, you did a fantastic job with this. I want a glass of milk. Milk? Give him the moth, Josh. Oh, my God. All right. You can stop.

Also, I don't think my camera's on. What camera? The one on me. It is. Oh, why isn't it showing up here? All right. Well, that was fun. We're going to get into the episode.

Ooh, Lauren, you have chrome nails. I do. When did that happen? Over the weekend. Is that red ring now? You feel like you have new rings. You can't count on me. Fun.

All right. All right. Bye. Let's do a quick seat switch. I wasn't on that whole time. that's all right that's fine uh for the audio listeners nothing changed for the visual listeners this has to be a digital exclusive yeah okay here's here's what we're gonna do uh if you just watch it on youtube you just saw what happened if you're listening on spotify go to

youtube because you what just happened wouldn't it wouldn't be enjoyable for audio only but it's lauren's youtube channel as a child shockingly good editing and thank you she does some tricks She always had a gift She did always have a gift I um And now She's producing Playdate Podcast

The hottest podcast This side of the Mississippi Welcome back Episode 23 Jordan Pod Uh I'm wearing shorts Even though

I know I'm gonna get Some weird comments About my shins I thought you were just saying Try not to look at them I thought For some reason In your head

You thought That you had always Started the podcast By like describing What I'm wearing What up, guys? I'm wearing shorts, I'm wearing a pink hat, and I'm wearing Brooks sneakers. Speaking of shoes, look at these little numbers that I got.

Oh, those new Birkenstocks. Fur-lined Birkens, Lauren. Birkenstocks. Oh. And. Yeah, you got them. Or are they the hard ones? No, they're suede.

Oh, cool. Suede with fur-lined and this soft bed, I believe. I saw them in the window, and they're green with green fur, and I was like, that's sick. so i go in with my mom and i'm like mom can i have these she's like yes go to the thing and um that makes it sound like my mom buys everything for me not true and the guy told me that the reason they were green is because the sun makes them lighter so they're not green on my feet but if i wear them out in the sun enough they look a little green they're a little green they do look they were the fur was like green green yeah the fur was like discolor green what that's not green

you think your shirt is green that's not this that's absurd that you would say that what would you say gray what looks gray from here i don't know fully green green fully green not even close now my eyes hurt what and that wouldn't even say lauren's jacket isn't red like what are we lauren's jacket is purple what are you doing lauren's moving around and she's fixing the cameras follow lauren as she does her thing lauren is sick and she's toughing it out she came into work even though she is sick which is yeah lauren's sick today did you know gout used to be uh it was like a you know a sign of of wealth because it was like the king they called it the king's disease because it was

it affected people who just sat around all day so it was almost like it was almost like the equivalent of having like a birkin bag back then like if you had a birkin bag it's like this air mez bag that's really expensive and it's like a it's a they're hard it's hard to get i don't even think they're cute are they cute i think they're cute like a mini kelly what's a mini kelly it's like a variation of it but it's smaller how do you know yeah wow i like purses man i like purses wait are you like into designer stuff no do you does it look like i mean i mean oh that's why i'm surprised oh oh i mean i've never seen you wear a purse or anything designer i um i'm not i wouldn't say i'm like into it obviously wearing it but i think it's interesting to learn about yeah i think

everything's interesting to learn about if you take the time yeah um good mindset but i saw yeah mini kelly is just like a you know a version of look up a mini kelly a mini kelly is that your that's that's what that's what i call my son yeah mini kelly you're gonna have to believe bless bless you thank you yeah see see that's just not cute to me it is though it's fucking oh my god what and this is twelve thousand dollars what the fuck yeah i think a birkin's like 50 or 70 they're fucking expensive seventy thousand dollars for a bag they have to and they have to invite you to get one like you can't just go buy one what the fuck is that's so dumb that actually pisses me off kanye that makes me so mad massive really why it's like a it's an

iconic are you jealous maybe you do why does that make you mad just you did you four seconds ago you said you didn't like the way it looked so i never said that was laura that is great that was just pricing of that is just insane. It's pretty swag. I guess I respect their ability to sell it at that price point. I'm trying to remember the story but it was basically like some really famous actress back in the day

wanted a bag that could carry all of her shit and so that she went to Hermes and they made this bag for her. That's pretty cool. Yeah. That's insane. How's everyone doing? I want to get one of those on layaway. i'm kind of sick uh lauren's kind of sick but but she's here this is her flu game

the lauren flu game lauren's lebron broken nose game yeah did you get a nose job lauren no would you ever get a nose job well do you wait do you say did i ever yeah do you think i have a good nose yeah thanks no it's all natural um it's i just i i was gonna ask the same thing just because that schnoz you had in those kids those little videos i actually don't know if i can say that word schnoz yeah what do you think it's like anti-semitic yeah um no i don't think that that's even close wait what's next schmutz i think that what do i say it might be anti-semitic honestly if you guys were to get like uh like like a surgery on your face what would you get uh oh my god my my jawline my like i'd get rid

of all this yeah my face melts into my neck and this fucking podcast i always slouch down i watch the clips and i have like eight chins oh you know what i get everyone in my family that wasn't supposed to be negative it's just like uh because everyone you should love everything about yourself i don't love my chins i like my face but i would say chins than a chinese phone book nice that now that's racist um i would probably do something with uh maybe make my sometimes my face gets really puffy maybe get like the eyes done maybe get bigger cheekbones get the eyes done unibrow unibrow transplant yeah transplant would be fun i'd get yeah i'd get all my chest hair i'd get hair plugs for unibrow with my chest hair yeah um all right we got a we got an exciting episode

I think this might be the best episode of all time I'm so stoked about the drafts And that I have a pretty good pitch for you But the drafts are where I came to fucking play today Okay Yeah I came to play I always come to play Well your hat is blinding me

Yeah it's really It's how it rocks dude It's great it's just great No it looks cool on you Chance acid rapper Soccer hacky hat sucker Slap happy slapper chance a rapper it was a big part of my high school experience that hat looks like a hat

you would wear in high school well that when i got another chance the rapper 10 year anniversary of acid rap concert of course you were there oh my god it was a blast i feel like i've heard the story like 12 times on the pod sorry that was mean no just like in real life that was really this isn't real life well this is like this room is a portal into another dimension it does feel like every time the cameras go on i'm like i don't remember where i am or where i'm from but anyway i went to this concert that lauren keeps fucking hearing about i guess and i was on the way out with my buddy will maskell and i said you know what man you know what that'd be a funny hat to have because it's just a i don't think you think it's funny though

you wear it a lot uh i wore it the weekend i bought it and i haven't worn it since objectively not true yeah i wore that one weekend in phil we did like a trip to philadelphia and i wore it every day because the only hat i brought was i with you yeah so it's like three straight days the weekend i bought it and i haven't worn it since all right cool um do we have am i the assholes for today fantastic should we do let's do pitches first yeah all right let's hear what the playmates have to say i'm sorry i'm like sickly i feel like i'm gonna try not to be gross okay you guys yeah it's fine okay first one is from sean burn nice john burn says hi guys happy new year he sent this a while ago but then he sent it

hi sean my pitch idea is going the extra mile have you ever woken up after a big night out with your squad and your head is killing you because you forgot to eat a bit of food and drink water before you went to bed yeah well this is a new service that uber provides for when you're really drunk coming home from a night out and your uber driver drops you home but they also make sure that you eat some food and drink lots of water before you go to bed so you're not too hung over in the morning potentially they also tuck you into bed love the content keep it up can we already have this one i don't know but that the the last thing i want in my house is the uber driver i know what you're thinking of is the one that comes into the bar and gets you no that was my idea i'm saying i'm

pretty sure we've read that exact one before uh no we haven't we've just gotten a lot similar i think that i think we'd have a real problem with you know the uber drivers doing things to drug people once they have access to their house yeah there was one time this is good i'm sorry this just gave me a flashback to an an unbelievable memory i just unlocked but i was uh when i was 19 i was living with my buddy turner he's getting married all right so glad who invited you to that yeah i just got his invite today i just rsvp'd and uh we went to this bar called the pump house that was by our apartment and uh nothing good happened to the pump house no and i like it we went it was like we went and it turns out it was we lived right by firman university

yeah rainbow quick real quick can you paint me a word picture of the pump house just so i can get The pump house was, yeah, it was, like, a bar on the highway. So it was, like, you had to drive there, and then it was, like, all, like, wooden on the inside. It had, like, a pool table, and I think they let you smoke cigarettes in there. Like, it didn't smell good. Yeah. It was kind of gross. How close off the highway?

Like, right off the, I lived, like, right off the highway, and so it was, like, the pump house was, like, the only thing I could walk to. Other than that, I would have to get on the highway. It was, like, three lanes each way. Yeah. It wasn't, like, yeah, it was a highway. Poinsett Highway. anyway we would go sometimes me and my buddy turner because we could walk there and we lived together and there was uh this guy that we met there once his name was tony bone

and uh and he was like an older guy like he was like our parents age and he would be there sometimes on and we realized we would usually go thursday nights and we started to realize thursday night was college night so like all the kids from firman university would come over later in the night we hadn't been there for the first few times once the causes got so it turns out tony bone i think tony bone was going on college night which is a bad look for tony bone and uh one night i'd had a few too many whatever tony bone will buy all our drinks it's like an old guy would buy all the drinks i don't know how i feel about tony bone i know well this is terrible yeah this is his real name by the way which is insane so apologies if you're listening

but uh he's an old man he's been a playmate up yeah he's been a playmate he's like no way i didn't know it was that kid and uh one night i had too many drinks and i invited tony bone back to our apartment yeah we got back to the apartment i immediately went to bed and then i let i stuck turner with tony bone and apparently i had told tony when we were gonna make orange chicken like that trader joe stuff yeah so he tony bone was like all right we make an orange chicken and turner was like what the fuck did he just do i like i bombed him with a random old guy at our apartment

and then left and locked the door to my room. He was pretty mad at me the next day. You left Tony with that kid? Yeah.

I invited Tony Bone back and then just immediately went to my room and locked the door. So I just left Tony Bone and Turner. You locking the door implies that you...

Tony Bone was a threat to your general well-being, which doesn't sit right with me. He might have been. Yeah. I hope that guy's doing all right. Yeah, I don't think he probably is.

I'm gonna take a stab in the dark And say Tony Vone is probably in a pretty dark place We got a little scared after that That he knew where we lived What was his name Sean? Sean Byrne I like where your head's at And I think the thing with Sean

Is like he's such a He's such a good hearted man That he's not taking into account that other people are bad And we can't let them in our houses When we're vulnerable Either that or he's an Uber driver yeah and he wants to rob someone yep well i think that there just have to be a serious background check to let you in your house when you're drunk he's like what could it possibly

yeah yeah all right let's hear the second one all right thanks sean thanks sean next one is from matt maderos and he says innovation awaits with the food shoot don't you hate when you're chilling with the boys and you've got to interrupt the sesh to go grab your postmates from the door sometimes with our patented technology we will install bank-like vacuum tubes that connect your front door to every room in your house the delivery driver simply inserts your order into the tube clicks a button and your food is sucked up into the tube into your into you inside so you don't need to leave your seat i absolutely love that dude i need more of whatever that technology is in my life in all aspects.

Yeah, I feel like it's an underutilized thing that we have discovered. When I was a kid, that was, like, my mom would, like, bring me into the driver's seat so I could put it in and press the button, and it would go, like, that shit is awesome. The only places we use it are those in, like, mailrooms, right?

What do they use in mailrooms? Yeah, like, they'll, I think in, like, big office places, they'll, like, put the mail in that, and it'll get shot up to the floor that it's at. Oh, cool. I only know that from Elf. Remember when he's in the mailroom and he's like. Yeah, I haven't seen it in a while, honestly.

Yeah. Still holds up. Really? Yep. All right. What would you use that technology for? Other than that? Yeah.

I don't, I honestly don't, I haven't thought that far. I just. You find like passing notes across the house? Yeah, or just like hanging out, just like to do, just to play with. Oh, I know. In an office setting, every desk or like different sector could have their own. and then if you need to send something to your boss, you could just put it in there and then...

Yeah. I can't figure out where all the tubes would go. We'd start pranking each other. Yeah, we're high level. Yeah. All right, I like that one. Let's do our third. Okay.

Our last one is from Will Vestal. Okay. Hell yeah. He says, Class Kings, fantasy academics. Class Kings brings the thrill of drafting and team management to your everyday college experience. Start each season by drafting various students

that you think are set up for a good semester. Each week, your team will earn points based on their academic performance. So, homework, projects, exams, etc. Additionally, major botches like missing class, asking dumb questions, and tripping down the stairs in the lecture hall can lose you points. The various positions of your team

must be filled by students from different departments or majors. Once playoff season starts, all bets are off as finals reign supreme. compete against your friends and root on those obnoxious tryhards in your class to become the class king's champion that's so side note this could be applied to the workplace as well but i think it works a lot better in a college setting that's one of my favorites so far that's a great one um who would you draft who is the kid from bc that you draft oh that's a good question uh

you have the first pick at bc first overall dude i don't even i don't even know i don't think there's anyone in my circles that would have been like there's not anyone i knew personally that would have been like a a stud yeah i'm going harper grove first pick 3.99 gpa 1a minus when he was abroad in italy and he emailed the teacher being she gave him like a 92 and a half and he was like i'm supposed to be this was his last semester of college he was like emailing this woman being like i'm supposed to be valedictorian can you just like round up like a like it wasn't like i wasn't trying like yeah yeah you're teaching in italian or whatever and uh the lady was like nope and georgina groth won that's brutal yeah always all of college yeah he's my roommate 4.0 4.0 until the

last semester of at rollins wow that's nuts and lacrosse team and some other like extra extra he was my vice president in our fraternity when i was president damn good kid yeah i don't I mean, my school was a little bigger. I feel like I didn't know. I was well read on it. I knew how everyone at my school was doing. Yeah, I don't even know. I don't know who my valedictorian was.

I love that one. I don't either. All right, should we pitch each other? Yeah. I mean, I'm going to blow you out of the water, frankly. Do you want to go first or last? Oh, I printed out my thing. You printed it?

I did this two episodes ago, too. so i don't have to look at my phone i found out we had a printer yesterday because i had to print out return labels for my mom super easy printing was always a nightmare for me growing up again it's just like i actually do i know what you mean it was just harder never worked there was never ink it used to be harder yeah i feel like printing used to be like did you have that thing at school we had paper cut where it was like you only had a certain amount of like money to print in college in college so it was like each print was like a penny or whatever but you had to connect to some outside server you'd be printing like a 15 page

it never like became i never like ran out no mine was like i need no it wasn't a money thing i phrased it like it was a money thing you just needed like your id card and everything the printing was much harder but until we got to the real world yeah although i liked it because like you could like do all the printing ahead of time and then you would just go and swipe your card just like agreed agreed anyway uh oh god all right i'm a biker now yeah i bike yep all around i went to the dry cleaners yesterday bike there bike what were you dragging uh i was actually using them for their tailoring services on that hoodie oh nice yeah i'm getting my hoodie tailored tell lauren what happened to that hoodie oh was it the pocket yeah i fell off of a bird scooter

in the middle of a bikini while under the influence. And this was like a year and a half ago. And... Yeah, he doesn't do it anymore. I don't do that anymore. And...

The only thing that ripped is the front pocket. The only thing... Yeah, I was like, fine, but the only thing that ripped off was just the pocket of my hoodie. So... Well, better that

than the whole, like, material, like... Yeah. Facts. Yeah, that would be... Yeah. Yeah, it took... It was only $18 to get it fixed.

Wow. that was nice i don't know why i thought that would be like a lot of money wait so what's the pen yeah wait so are you in or not are you in what was i saying you're a biker now you have it printed oh yeah yeah i was biking oh yeah i know what it was i've been biking around and like sometimes when i stop at like a stoplight like i don't know maybe i just need to lower my seat but it's like kind of on my tippy toes yeah it's like kind of awkward um so it's that almost surely means you need to well my idea is invisible training wheels yep there's no reason not to have training wheels other than they're embarrassing

but well i think they also like slow you down and like turns are harder no yeah you can't like lean into turns no maybe they're maybe they're deployable yep it's like an airplane you can deploy the training wheels yeah at a stoplight that's what it is okay it's just it's training wheels you can deploy at a stoplight okay question for you what is everyone gonna think when they see you just stationary balancing perfectly that guy rocks yeah do you ever see those guys do that thing where they like pedal forward better backwards to like stay on on like a unicycle no no like on a bike because they're clipped in they'll like just be at a stoplight and like fucking around with it and you're like all right dude we get it yeah exactly yeah it's for that

it's for clipped in guys too nice cool um all right i don't know what to call this one what lauren i don't know what's so funny i just feel crazy crick in my neck that is driving me insane yeah i think it's a creek there's so many different words i have a crick a crick in my neck um my i don't know what to what to name this one so maybe you guys can help me out with it it's it's basically contact lenses that you put in your kids eyes uh like an early age and anytime anything traumatic or like scarring happens it'll like black out their vision so like if they like walk in on you know their parents it'll like block it out if like someone gets hit by a car in front of them you guys are all doing insane like calisthenics right now what are you

talking about you're all like moving lauren was like stretching over there you're like fucking doing like mike tyson neck rolls um this is crazy um and it basically it just prevents them from you know having any long-term trauma that's good yeah you worry that there'll be pussies when they grow yeah they're gonna be the biggest pussies yeah that's good um i guess some trauma builds character okay maybe it's reserved for like like murder and you know sex and stuff murder and sex like if someone like it's like shot in the head in front of them it'll be like that's true yeah i guess it makes sense yeah we can do without that what we can so we we can do without that murder and sex someone getting shot in front of you yeah yeah yeah okay uh this is rusty and will and i had

the brilliant idea of pranking lauren at the end of this episode and basically what we're gonna do is uh you know will's always playing with his can today i'm gonna just freak out at him about it and we're gonna get into this huge screaming match for like a couple minutes and then see how lauren reacts and then we'll review or not review reveal uh that it was a prank the whole time so i can't imagine this goes well but we will see how it goes so either i think we'll put this right before the prank so you will it'll be right after this can you stop fucking doing that all the time sorry wow it's he just like always fucking does this and it's so annoying are you serious yeah like it's just like it's you're on my fucking last nerve right now it's so annoying

when you fucking do that okay like fucking grow up it's it's so annoying all right just fucking mind your own can we just do the no i get like like until until you're like done fucking doing that like we i i can't stay in like a productive headspace when you're fucking playing just mind your own business and just focus on like whatever you're i like have i've been minding my own business for like 10 fucking episodes when you do this every single time it's so fucking annoying i okay i don't even don't even fucking get me started you're always doing fucking weird shit over there and i don't say anything like what like moving you're fucking moving your like and that lauren is called improv we were yeah we recorded something ahead of time we were like

we're gonna prank lauren by getting mad at each other and that actually scared me i was like i don't know what to do halfway halfway through your hair looks that was harder than i thought you're you're always playing with your uh hat i'm like not the one time i'm not wearing a hat okay that actually scared me halfway halfway through lauren goes like okay all right yeah you were good you were good i feel like i didn't i didn't really i think you didn't take the bait early enough and i was like oh okay now it looks like i'm just berating will i was like okay let's not i i don't think i played out really like what my like rebuttal was it was just like you're gonna mad at me for clicking the cam we never had like what is my side of the argument you're always

you're always playing with your hat and stuff lauren i came in earlier and i had brian record um like a thing of me explaining what's gonna happen so we can put that right before so it won't catch the playmates off guard so they'll know they'll know that it's a prank on you you're just trying to get me we're just trying to get you good yeah i felt really uncomfortable yeah yeah got him i couldn't even look over at lauren i know i was like we're just gonna cut this out i guys um all right should we do yeah that's all you those were good let's go yeah let's uh let's do some am i the asshole yeah that was fun i hope you guys like when we did it last episode i saw some one guy or girl said that they liked it good which is good that's like okay let's get into it

we're only gonna do two today a bunch of work things while we're in this yeah you got you got of dnd that shit dnd okay we're only gonna do two today so the first one am i the asshole for deleting my son's minecraft world yes yes no this is sad we are you guys like minecraft yeah or we were no that's just sick oh you weren't a minecraft kid growing up no i didn't have before you before you get into this uh when we were in i might have told this already but when we were in middle school we all had like school ipads yeah we all had minecraft on it so we'd all be playing in the same world during class which was really fun and this kid ryan connelly had built this like crazy elaborate really impressive creative world and mia spencer came in and doxxed

him and just put lava everywhere and burnt it to the ground and we were but we're all in class so he can't be like like throwing a fit and you just i just looked over and he was like that's awesome that's so sad um yeah so am i the asshole for deleting my son's minecraft world i have two children excuse me a nine-year-old son and a six-year-old daughter my son had a minecraft world where he built quite an impressive castle on an island which he was very proud to show me since school was canceled he has had issues with waking up on time he is supposed to wake up at seven each morning but for the past month he has been sleeping until about nine or ten i always set an alarm for him but he sleeps right through it how old is he nine time is she this must be

covid times right yeah is this from covid he's just sleeping through class why did school get canceled oh wait yeah also you're just three years ago so probably you're just letting him sleep until nine or ten i know that's my question he's he's nine um i always wait blah blah i don't wake him up because waking himself up is a skill that he needs to learn i told him about two weeks ago that there are going to be consequences for him if he continues to sleep in every morning at first he understood and was waking up on time but for the past week or so he has fallen back into old habits i slept or no i told him yesterday that this is his final warning today he slept until about 11 so i followed through with my warning and i went onto the computer and deleted his

favorite minecraft world i always go i know or i also took away computer privileges for the next month when i told him he started screaming and crying he told me that he spent a whole year working on that world and he's very distraught that he's never going to see it again he has been crying and sobbing throughout the day and has refused to eat any of his meals yeah yeah you're the fucking asshole first of all you're treating this kid like he's a nine-year-old kid here's yeah why does he have to i don't even get why he has to get up at seven seven a.m the dad just like mining his own dad's just taking the backseat yeah well that i think here's the thing if he's if he's sleeping until 11 that means you're letting him stay up until like two you don't

just you don't just go to bed at a normal when i was nine i was going to bed at like 9 p.m and like waking up so early because i was right you're this is this is not a him issue this is like you're being a you're being a bad parent who's giving giving too much leeway and then getting mad when he takes that leeway i get i don't think she's giving too much leeway i think she's being like a hard-o during covid like that was a pretty weird and hard time to be a kid and to be like getting pissed because you're not gonna give it 7 a.m not but then she won't wake him up and it's like you have to do it on your own it's like your job as a mother is to like yeah help this kid like if he if you feel like he has to get up then go wake him up

and then just to enforce some punishment on him like that is insane yeah also just take away the computer don't delete the world yeah you've you've broken what does this kid have to do at 7 a.m he's got work no you've broken all trust with that kid now he's gonna hate you for the rest of his life yeah and like i don't know especially because it was during covid dude it's like no one knew what they were doing then during during covid i was a freshman in college and i played 11 hours of fortnite a day i played so much fortnite i had a my family didn't intervention with me ever tell you about that like a legitimate they sat me down and they're like you're staying up till 5 a.m playing fortnite every night and it's ruining your life and i i had gained like 40

something pounds because i would drink a six pack of ipas like fortnight until 5 a.m every single night my my bedroom was like a fucking graveyard for uh like i would only drink bottled beer for some reason so it was just like a nightmare getting anywhere my dad like came upstairs and was just like he hadn't he hadn't been in my room for like a couple weeks or whatever we just didn't like hang out in there obviously and he came in to like say something it was like oh my god like how did i let it get to this point but it was a weird time too because it was like it's not have anything to do no they weren't even he was just like is school going all right i'm like i think so i i remember i ran into uh my friend nicky's mom at the uh it was called dipetro's

it was like a you know you could go get order sandwiches in and stuff and i was walking out with like a case of beer and she was like oh my god jack like good to see you i'm like yep and she goes uh she goes nicky's really nicky's really been getting into the video games again because we were all like didn't have time to be in the video game yeah for that portion of our lives and we all like went back and she goes yeah like i don't i don't know like i walked into his room and and uh i was like maggie you shouldn't be like drinking alone he was like i'm drinking with my friends because we were because we were all in like an xbox party it was just a deranged time to be alive yeah you're the fucking asshole i had a girlfriend at the time and i got her to

play fortnite oh yeah i wouldn't play with my girlfriend the only way the only way she could hang out with me is if she joined my squad oh they your parents wouldn't let like even like close friends come over we were distance she's in california right right right yeah all right uh yeah you're the fucking asshole yeah you're the asshole let's hear the next one okay am i the asshole for eating home-cooked food during dating hi my girlfriend and i both 32 have a minor argument i'm slightly overweight so i asked my nutritionist to make a meal plan for me and saturday is my cheat day my girlfriend knew about this so we would usually choose saturday to go out on a date we live like two hours apart this week she told me she is not free on saturday because

her bff is coming to town she wanted to meet yesterday and i said okay wait wait i totally was on deck can you start over basically they live i literally don't know anything they live they live two hours apart he is slightly overweight so he's eating food at home that his nutritionist has approved they use saturday as date night because saturday is his cheat day she can't hang out on saturday uh this particular week because her bff is in town lauren take it away nice they're in a relationship this is where i might be the asshole during the date i brought out my home-cooked meal while she was eating kfc when i went to or when i want to do something i'm very disciplined and follow through till the end she said i'm disrespecting her i told her sometimes

she did the same as well and i didn't say anything she would sometimes eat something before our dates and end up not eating anything while watching me eat alone am i disrespecting my girlfriend no wait what so here's the thing i'm confused too that their date night is still at home she's eating kfc which is not healthy that's her cheat meal no no she doesn't have a plan he's the one with the nutrition plan got it and they're eating presumably at at his house or her house and they're eating together but she is eating kfc and he's eating the food that he's supposed to eat on that day no i don't think you're the asshole i think that that's such an insane i get that like you want to share the experience and be eating the same thing but if

you're at home and he's he's accommodating your you're not being available on saturday by having date night on another day what the fuck is this i'm why did you pick this one i don't know he's not the asshole some of them are like five essays long no this one is insane uh i don't think it's that crazy i think it's a good question yeah it's just yeah okay all right fair enough yeah no you're not no you're not the asshole you're right yeah that's his i'm his journey i'm confused with why He would be the asshole because he's upset that she's eating it? No, he would be the asshole because he's not following their normal date night etiquette, which is going and getting the same food and eating it together, which I will give her.

It's her that's not doing that. No, usually they use the date night as a cheat night, so he would also be eating KFC with her. But he's not on this particular date night because he's eating what his nutritionist said to eat because it's not his cheat day, which is Saturday. Here's what he could have done. he could have just switched his cheat day that week and just made his and just eaten normal on Saturday

yeah so yeah maybe be more accommodating of the girlfriend and eat and eat KFC on that day and then use Saturday to eat regular food well it doesn't seem like she's upset she's the one upset did you listen to this

the girl is upset that she won't that he won't eat KFC with her yeah on date night where have you been I thought he was the one that was he's overweight she says that he's disrespecting her

by not eating by not eating KFC with her oh that's insane I thought it was the other way around It honestly makes more sense if it was like He was like pissed that she's like eating KFC in front of him Either way Either way he's not the asshole

Sorry, okay, I don't even I missed the beginning and I feel like it put me in a tailspin Yeah, you were in the fucking spin zone, baby Frenches No, you're not the asshole Alright, should we do some drafts, guys? Yeah, let's do some Which one do you want to start with, Will?

I would like to start with Disney shows Let's do it Were you a big Disney Channel guy growing up? I actually I've been thinking about it I think we should go back To just being like These are Disney Channel shows

That don't exist Just cause our TikTok clips Haven't been doing well Alright we're back These are Disney Channel Lauren's Lauren's face When you did that

Was pure horror Have you seen the scream? That painting where the guy's like Yeah yeah yeah That's what she looked like I'm gonna have to watch that Cut to Lauren Put the scream right here

yeah put a barber put a barber doing a handstand here uh put a barber jacket right here barber jacket there okay all right we're doing a handstand here you've got your work cut out for you this week all right these are disney channel shows that don't exist first up i've got kid congress when a a a new law is passed and there's a clause that is slipped in that lowers it removes the minimum age to run for congress uh there's an unexpected it also lowers the voting age too nice and there's this hostile takeover of congress by children and so it's a political drama comedy whatever you want to call it yeah and it's the entire united states government is run by little kids i love it that sounds fucking awesome yeah um the ice cream act is like the hottest

item it's funny you should say that because the ice cream act takes part in this show called air to the cone so um a guy named a little kid named henry scoops uh finds out that his long lost uncle has passed away and for some reason or another uh is giving he left his entire ice cream fortune to henry so henry is a rags to riches story henry now inherits you know billions of dollars, and he's also the youngest CEO in the Sweet Treats game, and he kind of has to navigate all of that. They're

trying to obviously get him out of that position because they don't think the kid can run. You kind of just watch him get into all sorts of hijinks. That's awesome. I did set that up perfectly. Not on purpose. I love Henry Scoops. That's a great name. Okay, I've got Pad of the Past.

You know Phil of the Future? No. 21st Century Man. You don't know what Phil of the Future is? no wow okay it was disney channel show about like a family from the future that like went back in time and they had to like pretend like they weren't oh cool that's fun day-to-day life but this is the opposite pad of the past is this guy's family they came from like the mid-1800s to the modern day and they're trying to fit in but they're all just like they're just like really out of touch like constantly getting their minds blown by technology yeah and they're also like

hold some really like messed up beliefs too yeah they're really sexist and other things other things and so it's just kind of a big issue yeah honestly like a really hard to watch yeah yeah um and they use old-timey stuff like a butter churn that's fun yeah their neighbors come over and they're like they see these things and they have to be like why the fuck are you yeah they have to like come up with reasons that they would have them all right the flag they fly a flag outside in all these 48 states 48 stars i got my dad the astronaut uh mark and beth ryan uh are the children of a prominent astronaut and when they don't want him to leave they sneak onto the shuttle uh so that they can go up to the international space station with them it's

kind of like a cory in the house vibe but they're on the international space station and uh they kind of get up to all sorts of mischief like they sneak out to go to intergalactic parties um they like prank call houston and like a lot of other stuff that's awesome thanks they prank call houston that's great uh i've got santa jr sweet it mrs claus got knocked up again oh no that would be their first kid your first time santa and mrs claus have their first child and santa's kind of getting old and so it's a story of santa basically teaching santa jr the ropes of how to deliver all the presents how to keep the elves in line how to maximize you know profits keeping elf wages low well preventing unionization yes yes um kind of

keeping a a strong hand on the on the workforce yep if you will that's santa jr i love it um we've all seen dog with a blog duh this is actually a julia mentor one julia dude julia's been getting some air time i love julia where did you get what do you how did you get we text there you go um yeah no big deal uh it's we're all familiar with dog with a blog this is cat with a chat so um similar but also nothing like it it's it's a family has a cat and it's obsessed with chat rooms so you watch it go on omegle you watch it um like take down predators in chat rooms and then but it also does like all sorts of cat stuff like um plays with twine yeah plays watch it play watch it join twine chat rooms um and it can talk nice yep nice um um

you're coming up with them on the spot I was trying to think of, like, a cat pun. Never mind. Okay, the Bigfoots of Omaha. Disney really wanted to replicate the success of The Wizards of Waverly Place. Yep. But it feels like they did it in, like, not the right way. This show is a flop.

So it's a family of Bigfoots that live in Bigfeet, I guess. They live in Omaha. And it's just way harder to fly under the radar. Yeah. Because they're literally 14 feet tall, covered in hair, and they can only say ooga-booga. Do they still own a deli shop? Yeah. I mean, they had a deli shop, but it got ruined because people just called in reports of Big

Foots in it, and the police stormed it and took it over. So now it's government custody. Now they have to run and hide in the woods because they're on the lam. So it was just one season, right? 14 seasons. It was, yeah. the one of the worst deals in disney history yeah yeah that's bigfoots of omaha nice uh my next one is the yo-ho homies uh basically it's it follows children of pirates yeah right

and when their parents are out looting and raiding and pillaging they get bored right and so they come together and they decide they're going to form a kid a kid a kid they're going to form a kids pirate ship and we watch them they're not doing the they're not doing the violent stuff because they don't really have a grasp of what pirates actually do they just know they go out and then they come back with cool stuff um we watch them you know go on small raids explore uh undiscovered islands and then like you know a little bit way a little bit ways into the show they discover this treasure that holds you know unimaginable power and it's kind of other pirates trying to take it from them but like they don't realize that pirating is not a game so they're

you know they still have a a pretty whimsical outlook on the whole thing but there's some serious danger that's awesome thanks your whole homies yeah uh you seem you seem perplexed today these are yours are good but you keep like setting them up like they're like you're mad about them i'm not mad about all right i've got the sweet life on horseback nice they did a hotel they did a boat what hadn't they done horses they're always on horseback they do all the same stuff but it's just all i don't know what i guess they sleep on horseback too i don't really oh um that's great is that it yeah all right my my last one is little villains baby the baby's not the title it's just little villains and uh basically an evil yet

lovable uh overlord or super villain whatever you want to call them is like he realizes that he's kind of on his way out yeah right so what do you do you go and adopt super villain babies or babies with powers and uh he teaches them to be super villains and kind of execute his plans for world domination but it's fun we're all laughing they like the kind of running joke is that the he's really bad at planning so you you're never worried that he's actually gonna do domination like whatever his plan is is so ludicrous that it would just never work yeah yeah i like that a lot is that it yeah well done thanks you too should we draft you will you introduce it yeah okay these are british soccer teams that don't exist i got wax and gibbous township um they're they're all

nocturnal players and they they all have they all get power-ups when there's a waxing gibbous moon and they only play at night that's fun yeah i've got manchester divided this team has zero chemistry they're very talented but they cannot seem to figure it out bipartisan is that how that would be partisan partisan partisan yeah uh i got breadcrumbs trail united uh basically they play in the forest and it's really hard to find the pitch and so they leave a trail of breadcrumbs that lead to the pitch uh so that the opposition and the fans can find them it's like deep in the forest and it's like constantly changing so and they they use the terrain to their advantage i like that a lot yeah um i've got kremlin town fc

they're uh just a a kind of ragtag group of guys it was founded in the mid-1800s in cremley town which is sort of northwestern england um and they're one of the oldest clubs but they've kind of had this over the last 50 years they've kind of fallen down so they're like fifth tier right now and then these american actors bought the team and are investing a lot of money and they made like a documentary that generated a lot of hype nice it's on hulu right no it's on amazon prime okay and uh it's sort of on the way up now and uh there's a lot of american interest in the team even though they're not that high performing currently in the grand scheme of english football cool uh i got tuesday village club uh they're a very blue collar club they all live in the same

village with like mossy roofs and um you know they have jobs after they're they're they're more concerned with the pints after the match than you know the match itself but they have fun like while they're doing it you know there's actually a team called like wednesday i saw that yeah i did see that it's like wednesday morning something wednesday that's the actual team nodding wednesday or something you think of nodding hem forest no no awesome name i'm not that's like their biggest rival i think or something i saw something with wednesday let's look it up look up wednesday wednesday premier premier league oh wednesday sheffield wednesday fc that's fucking sick sheffield wednesdays that sounds like an like an elite prep school yeah where'd you go i went

to sheffield wednesday yeah they're like what'd you do the other four days huh or six well well you don't go to school on the weekend shut up shut up all right let's do it again ready you idiot lauren's about to be spooked again all right i've got droneville strikers fc they are a team that seems to benefit from a lot of accidental military intervention during the matches. Nice. Oh, I got Grundle Bush Athletic. Finally.

Yeah, finally. I've been trying to slip Grundle Bush into here for a while. They're mostly, like, big, hairy, physical, defensive-style players that are kind of enforcers, but they have one. Hairy? Hair, I don't know. They have one really, you know, shifty Portuguese midfielder, and he does most of the offense.

and then the other uh you know the other 10 guys are more just for intimidation and like making sure no one hurts the portuguese guy i like that uh i've got lightning racers fc nice you ever like in in fifa like i feel like when i did ultimate team i just only went for speed yep because it's like just the only thing that you can really perceive yeah it's like a player uh at least not a good player so lightning racers fc is just all the fastest players regardless of skill level outside of that how did they get them all to join um they gave them a billion dollars it's owned by a billionaire cool yep what's up lauren you look like you got some or just like got a tweet that like a new kid like america no i was like a new kid america um my god a new kid america all right

my my final one is i got white i got white horse castle it's only kids that grew up affluent and um and like you know despite the amount that they party they're actually pretty good uh and they i think they ride like white horses into the stadium i like that thanks uh i've got talking horse interesting i just feel like some of those teams have like a name where you're like i don't know is that a place is that a thing yeah is that uh where'd you come up with that yeah like what is that so talking horse has just been called that forever yeah the mascot is a horse but it can't talk no horses can talk i looked it up none of them can talk that was fun i enjoyed that a lot um all right should we tell each other something fun that happened on this

day in history yeah fun fact today february 7th in 1922 everybody decided to lay low that day wow so it was this crazy day where everyone was just like why don't we take it easy today and everyone just kind of laid low didn't really go anywhere a lot of people didn't go to work everyone just but everyone like was on the same page that they were all gonna lay low yeah so nothing really got done but it was fine and they just made up for it the next day and like no one's boss noticed because the boss was also the boss was laying low everyone was laying low the president laid low that day there was was this like pure happenstance or did or was it a you know a calculated sort of a feeling everyone got yeah that day that like let's just

kind of lay low today i feel that i feel that for sure and uh yeah it was a terrible day economically but they just put worked a little harder the next day and kind of flew under the radar what would happen if everyone just took a day off nothing right actually probably a ton of things okay let's say nobody bought anything like if everyone just stayed in their house for one day i think that... Something with, like, a nuclear reactor would go bad. I feel like those people need to keep an eye on those. Yeah. Or, like, uh...

Yeah, I don't know. There's definitely stuff going on that matters. The economy would probably tank. Or would it? Would everyone even notice? I feel like they wouldn't turn the stocks on. Yeah. I don't think anything would happen. It would just be, like, a

weekend. Like, the economy doesn't tank. That's true. No, but people are still buying stuff on the weekends. Should we try it? All right, we're trying it. Next Wednesday, the 14th, everybody lay low. Everybody stay inside. Don't say anything to anyone.

I would be shocked. Climate movement. I would be shocked to see what would happen if everyone in the world didn't do anything. Interesting. I'm trying to think of what the fallout would be. There would be weird things to our food supply, I think. Yeah. i think it's the only thing that would be like tangible like thing a thing that you could see

would be people those like machines that like constantly need someone like monitoring it i feel like the only thing i can think of is like a nuclear power plant and like maybe like the water supply something would be up with the water supply yeah i feel like the water supply would be feels like something would be arrived for sure with the water supply um all right we lose electricities or anything is that all automated i don't know call us if you know somebody comment below what would happen if comment below what would happen if everyone that'll be the comment for the three seconds that and for the record the episode's not done but but yeah that so you comment what what do you think would happen if everyone stopped doing everything for one day

and favorite place to get delivered your favorite food your favorite place to get top the favorite place to get your favorite restaurant yep and your favorite restaurant so what would what do you think would happen if we all just stayed home one day and your favorite restaurant that'll be the comment on youtube um can i tell you guys another fun thing that happened on this day in history uh february 7th 12 13 the first high five was given really isn't that sick do you want to hear the story yeah absolutely sir edward the elusive pulled off the first rusty gate in a jousting match you guys know what the rusty gate is yeah it's a lacrosse move where basically it's like a defender you so like you'd be holding your jousting pole like this but he would swing the

other way and you like knock their shit out from behind it's a cool move lauren look up a rusty gate so just so will has a visual rusty gate look up rusty gate lacrosse move look up rusty featherstone i mean it's definitely not one word but rusty gate sounds like what's gonna happen yeah best best rusty gate if we leak the videos i have on my phone i could cause a rush okay this is so imagine a imagine a jousting guy did this just a picture oh so watch the guy with the long pole the black or the white watch right there right here that's sick i don't even know what just happened at all all right well there's gonna be just watch who am i watching just watch the guy yeah okay i don't i can't tell what's happening at all it's the it's the dude with the long bolt

watch him watch him he'll flip around and hit it yeah so that's it i see yeah you go behind your back with yours all right turn this off um and so basically he pulls off the first rusty gate move in jousting everyone's like it's fucking pandemonium you know in the uh in the thing he knocks grope pendergrass off his steed right grope was like the villain nobody liked grope yep um edward not being able to contain his excitement ran over to like his trainer right and his trainer's hands were up in the air being like oh oh and uh what's his name edward just like he couldn't contain himself slaps his hand into his trainer's hand and everyone's like what the fuck so they knew like right in that moment what they were part of so this i'm just

reading i'm reading it off the wikipedia page right now and it says a hush fell over the crowd as they all realized they had just witnessed a world-altering moment in history after that high fives high fives became all the rage and like immediately spread you know to the neighboring kingdoms and then the whole world that's so cool isn't that sick i love that i love everything about that thanks well done um do anything else i don't do oh guys what whose personality you steal oh yeah this weekend i'm stealing johnny hamcheck's personality okay do you follow johnny hamcheck i don't it's like my favorite guy on social media right now he's just like i think he wears like the glasses that have a camera or something but he just like walks up to people and

it's like filming from his pov and he'll just say like the dumbest things and he's oh see the guy That's like two glasses of milk, please. No, I don't think that's him. He's like, hey, I got the six and a half foot cables like Balboni sent me. He just goes up to construction sites. And they're always like, oh, yeah, we'll get our ship manager. He's like, hey, I'm here. Balboni sent me.

I got those six and a half foot cables. He's been doing these ones where he goes to the same kind of park area. And he stops the guy. He's like, oh, hey, it's me, Johnny Hempjack. I have seen that. Yeah, yeah. Like, we're having a date, right? Aren't you meeting me for a date?

i've met you on plenty of ham.com and uh is he the guy that goes up to people and he's like pretends that he knows them yes yeah yeah have you seen have you seen the guy i think it's called salty stingray or something and he goes up to people and he'll start a conversation he'll like initiate the conversation ask for directions or something and when they go to tell me like yeah anyway johnny ham check has this unbridled confidence that i hope to emulate yeah that's cool um i don't know the guy's name but when i was a kid we went to jamaica and there was this guy that was like like showing us so he's taking us to like a waterfall or something local guy was like smoking a joint the entire time i thought it was so cool and then he we get to the waterfall

and um it's you know it's like it's not like a cliff where the water is immediately falling off it kind of runs down the side and then goes but it's at like a 45 degree angle just picture that right classic yeah he gets to the top and runs down the side like without losing traction and then does a backflip off of that like a gainer and lands in the water and we're all like this is the coolest guy ever yeah and um sounds like we're in for a big weekend in boston if that's i know yeah no no what i'm taking from him is i'm just trying to be more iry on like a day-to-day basis iry iry it's like a jamaican word i'm definitely not using it correctly i'm gonna read the uh i'm gonna read the iry iry uh nice good or pleasing this place is jumping with iry

vibes love it um so yeah just gonna try and bring that to boston uh with you and i i'm excited we're gonna have a good weekend yeah we're there for like a week yeah lauren we got to we uh started booking our own travel instead of just like letting other people book the hotels and will and i booked a five-star hotel that's where that's where uh me and my lady friend stayed last time i was in boston it's very nice but i ordered a bottle of champagne yeah uh up to the room and i'm like you know i'm accounting for how expensive room service is so like i'm not you know i'm ready to ready to spend you know like maybe like 50 bucks right and i'd be like yeah it's worth it don't have to like go to the liquor store uh i didn't realize

i also didn't realize they already put tip in so i double tipped because they had accounted for gratuity and then they also were way up charging it was 117 dollars but it's already in my room and i can't i didn't want to look like the guy that's like yeah no yeah i go to the liquor store i hadn't heard of this brand yet 14 dollars um shut up so let's just go yeah no room service while we're there um but yeah we're staying in beacon hill it's gonna be really it's like a really nice historic part of the city i'm actually really excited i don't know anything about boston have you ever been no no or when i was really little with my family it's just like where we usually stay when we go there is like a little bit more like it's like the business it's still

super super nice hotel but the area is kind of brutal like a lot of roads and cars and this is gonna be a little like a quaint little our our hotel used to be a prison as well which is pretty crazy i didn't hear anything okay but we're also in the tower so they built a separate tower we're fine i looked it up yeah i'm excited for you guys if we're haunted when we get back you know why yeah we walk in we just like have like black eyes yeah all right let's do the podcast all right well what's up with ectoplasm like we're like saying ghost things is that a ghost thing i don't know wait lauren whose personality are you gonna steal oh yeah toys biden i'm stealing my personality last week because i feel like shit right now

and I just want to be active in jumping around town and I can't do that right now where do you want to jump to? just around maybe the beach cool alright well this was just a blast

those were some of my favorite drafts I had a lot of fun with the Disney shows the soccer was fun too but we should do more shows this was very good alright we love you guys and we will see you guys next Wednesday have a fantastic rest of your week and weekend and tell your mother that we say hello just tell your mother bye