Will & Rusty's Playdate - hottest pet names for your s/o

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

On an insanely viral Playdate, the Rusty has a theory on how to get to work faster, Willy comes up with a t-shirt idea, and the boys discuss economics at length. The gang also discuss a stink screener disguised as a carbon monoxide detector and see if a Playmate ITA for sleeping with her ex after breaking up. Plus, the boys draft more rom coms that don’t exist and the hottest pet names for your s/o. As always, we wrap up with Rusty’s song of the day. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today https://www.twistedtea.com/locations ELLIOTT WEST IG: https://www.instagram.com/elliott.westt/?hl=en 00:00 - Intro 1:22 - Rusty’s Theory 6:09 - Pottermaxxing 10:07 - Banana Bred 16:43 - Youth league legends 23:08 - Peanut Gallery 31:37 - Economics 50:06 - Willy’s Blaster 57:36 - Roadmap 1:00:50 - Pitches 1:18:14 - AITA 1:23:12 - This Guy Rocks 1:27:47 - Teach Me Something 1:33:37 - Rom Coms That Don’t Exist 1:37:17 - Hottest Pet Names For Your S/O 1:37:52 - RSOTD #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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everyone go back to your oh sorry should i point you guys everyone go back to your lunch ladies are we going we are yeah do you guys want to hear what i've been working on we're already ready i know we're already going we're diving right on top of it i know you want to hear what i've been working on these last couple days yeah yeah what were you gonna say what about the part where i have to look in the camera and then she has to get my face right yeah what has happened to that part are we already in focus um i mean yeah i can adjust it though i trust you i just i always wondered like i've built this routine that anything that changes routine makes me nervous and my skin hurts why we should have we we we have way too many listeners for him to be doing the focus on

us we should have two guys that are the exact dimensions of us oh they sit down so by the time we're yeah we just walk in time we get out of the limo we sit right down and fucking i hate having to put on normal people clothes for the podcast so people think we're like average guys like before i was wearing like all leather gucci i know yeah you remember gucci leather thank you that gucci hat out of leather you had that huge gucci leather hat on i do like your gucci leather hat it's pretty baller it's pretty ball is any of this even gonna make the pod probably not if the cameras are all moving so let's not say anything funny because you're on fire that can all be and i don't think that was like particularly noteworthy all right do you guys want to hear what i've been working

on all right hit me yes the last couple days we haven't been coming into the office speak for yourself you have been yeah why i'm a grindaholic but what do you do there's no one here uh are there people here yeah there are there have actually been a decent amount of people here oh nice well i've been taking full advantage yeah yeah i don't blame you i am trying to figure out this isn't a pitch but what's the worst part about your commute to work every day or andrew i guess is for you because will you bike uh so i guess it's bikes they're car specific or it could apply to bikes red lights red lights doesn't yeah it's fucking 2025 yeah we we should have should have have figured a way around this make them all green no i have been at home

crunching some numbers i've made almost zero progress but i had a thought there is a speed that i could leave my front door at where if i stayed if i just set my car on cruise control at a certain speed i don't know what that speed is yet i'd have to do the math i would hit every green light why because green lights aren't just on it they're not just on a timer they're not they're no they're they have sensors and it's affected by traffic i heard a conspiracy that it's based on the speed limit so if you go the speed limit the whole time you would hit every green light every time yeah or you'd hit every red light depending on when you left no but have you ever have you ever been like see i do this when i'm when i'm just a solo biker and i pull

up to an intersection and there's no cars going the way i'm trying to go the light never changes interesting i think that is i wish we knew which ones were and which ones weren't yeah i mean i guess you're probably there probably are some that are mine feel like they're on a timer my dad got in trouble for that one he was he was he had a motorcycle in college cool guy yeah had a motorcycle in college and he pulled up to a light so much sex the middle of the night and the sensor wouldn't pick him up and there were no cars around so he literally could not get yeah the light to change so he said he was sitting there like fucking waving and like rolling his motorcycle around and like going like around the thing and then finally was like fuck it i just i literally like

there's no one here and so he like took off out of frustration cop immediately pulled him over and was like dude i was watching that whole thing if you had just gone if you had just left like a normal guy and didn't like peel the fuck out i would have completely understood and that's weird wow well he was like because he sped he was oh so it's like a speeding yeah yeah he was like you'd you did the right like i watched you trying to do it the right way people in portland do that if you're if you're going to if you're going to the airport early you know like the um the guys that salt the roads they don't even they just don't stop at red lights because there's no one in portland yeah what's yeah i've been i've been waiting at a red light and then a one of those

giant salt trucks just goes past me full speed and you're like uh i'm gonna press charges for assault oh assault yes yes there he goes wait i just got that play date play date episode 133 larry bird that's a good poll do you think about them in advance it feels like you've been on fire lately i mean that one that one that one's a layup uh intended maybe maybe like yeah maybe subconsciously like i had reggie miller a little too quick i think because i write down in my notes app like i categorize them so the title of each notes app for each episode has the number in it right so i think maybe part of me is like oh i'm gonna get him but i don't i don't do any googling if that's what you're wondering but i definitely yeah i have like a week to think about

it okay yeah see i've never i'm a little off the cuff guy cuff cuff i'm a little off the cuff guy i'm off the cuff i'm gonna give can i give you one too please as well i would like i think i can i think i might have a mythical pole okay but i haven't even thought of what Goated poll. All right, ready? Mythical poll of the year. Isaac Guarando. God, give me something.

That was close. 31. But he was 23 at Louisville, so. I didn't know he went to Louisville. That would have been a mythical poll. That would have been a mythical poll. Yeah. Wow.

That would have been mythical. Well, fuck. Now I feel like a fucking idiot. Fucking shit, dude. i didn't uh i didn't get out of bed or brush my teeth raheem mostert sorry keep going till 4 p.m yesterday oh really potter marathon oh i'm 31 maxing all right whatever this game is fucking stupid i don't like this uh full you're potter maxing all day yeah but i would pee okay i peed yeah but like that's

not gonna eat i may actually yeah i actually had a fair now that i'm thinking about it i got back in bed but i i made a smoothie nice uh in my in my blender it's a place to do it which which is super fun until until it's cleanup time right like it felt like when when you're a kid and your parents are out of town and you've been kind of like being a slob all weekend and then you're like this wasn't worth it i wish i wish the house was in order because the it's just i'm never going to make another one because the thing's just sitting in my sink soaking right now because i don't have the uh i don't have the balls to clean it that's the blender yeah not the whole thing that the like i feel like you probably put the main part in the dishwasher no

i don't want to like dull the blades so what you're supposed to do the blades out i don't know man i think this is my first i think you could take the blades out put the other thing in the dishwasher and then just like clean the blades cup thing what i read is you're supposed to fill it up halfway with soapy water and then blend it and that cleans the blades that makes sense without the chance of like slicing your hand or i just cut my i cut myself so often that i know it's gonna happen are you serious all the fucking time if i try to make a bagel at home i'm gonna cut myself i burned my finger ah jesus your nails are looking good have you been not biting no they're pretty bad oh well from over here they look really healthy they're not but i burnt i i

grabbed the inside of an air fryer right after air frying apparently it's so fucking hot in there what i didn't i i trust me i was as shocked i learned i learned that lesson the hard way as well because it in my head it was the airs moving around so fast that it cooks the thing but the actual thing doesn't get hot first time i air fried something made the made almost the exact mistake yeah i it was the first time i air fried so you learn i'm learning uh do you want to see what happens when you put dish soap in a blender and blend it yep well i did this and then i put it this is like the this is like uh if you put boiling water on your windshield when it's icy it's like one of those things what no it says yes dish soap can be used to clean it i don't think so

i just saw a video i did it i think andrew if it explodes i think that's because the person probably filled it up all the way because i will say i filled it up less than half and it looked like it was ready to burst yeah maybe i'm wrong maybe i should trust ai my sister put a put dawn dish soap in our dishwasher when we were kids instead of uh whitney did that in our office yeah it's like a like i'm a moron and i know that like i've never been good at any household stuff and that was like one of the things that even i put together like that won't work yeah but it it foamed our whole kitchen like it looked it looked like a it looked like a david dobrik like video where he's like i filled my whole kitchen with i had a foam party in my kitchen

soap we you know david dobrik's here at the at the uh office yeah why i don't know did you see will peters has it will peters left and just put a mannequin in his seat i did see so it looks like a guy's working and i was looking for caleb and i walked in i was like hey is caleb here and uh and they fell for it was like it was like you actually got got for a millisecond and then i it does look like it's too still yeah it also doesn't look like it's editing it looks like it's just sitting there staring at it the logins when i saw it was faced the other way so i guess it was a dead giveaway it looks like with the with the hood up it looks like a real guy because it has skin colored hands and it's like his jacket that he wears every day yeah oh that's

cool yeah dude i got the best idea for a t-shirt hit me it's a little baby monkey and it says banana bread b-r-e-d where some see heroes and others see egos bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes while others follow the noise we follow the money learn more at bloomberg.com that's something like uh i had a friend named brooke harvey in all through childhood one of my first friends and she she was big on that what was that brand with the monkeys on it like the the yeah you know what i'm talking about it was like george no it was like i think like target sold yeah i remember one saying like not to burst your bubble and it's like blowing like a bubble yeah look up like like little girl monkey shirt monkey shirt dude this was her like iconic yeah

this yeah this oh my god she had that exact bobby jack bobby jack don't burst why was bob bob was like the go-to like funny name when we were in elementary school billy bob or so funny so funny why imagine like i remember this camo one too but god but like that's an that's like an attractive adult modeling it like why do they all right bro keep in your pants bro's getting all fucking horned up i mean like like they're for like bro you are so your heart is a rock right now sorry i'm sorry they're like they're for like let's not beat around the bush they're for they're for nine-year-olds let's not make i don't know girls are kind of rocking like the little girl tees now now they're little girl tees right yeah are they oh yeah is that like

the one my collection's finally paying off no but think about my shirt right so it's like banana bread yeah i love it but it's like it's so good like he grew up on that shit yeah yeah i'm picturing it like one of those t-shirts that like they all get when they make like the playoffs where it's like finals bound or like something like you know they always have like some like dumb catchphrase like not every every march madness like every nike team has like like don't mess with gators yes yeah they just like they have like one template that like kind of doesn't work for every don't mess with gators that's all i'm thinking like when this don't feed the gators when the when the savannah banana makes the playoffs

they can be like banana bread the playoffs i hope they make i really hope the savannah bananas make the playoffs this year it's gonna be boring if not who was the one the one team the generals beat didn't the generals beat the globetrotters one time oh yeah or no maybe a college team beat the no i think you're right there was one time the generals won and there was like this riot so mad everyone's so pissed and they're like we're never doing that again i don't think the savannah bananas fuck that and that is a tongue

twister huh i don't think the savannah bananas win every game i saw a thing where that's kind of fun really where the owner you know that guy and like the he's like the man in the yellow hat bros straight up stole that curious george trip um he was like yeah we don't win every game they want obviously it's ridiculous but they want it to be like a real like league i guess even though it's the same two teams wait google what didn't like the university of kentucky beat the globetrotters once like the globetrotters lost to like a college team they lost against the generals on a last second buzzer beater oh my god wait kareem of jewel jabbar was on the team no they lost they lost to a team i so i i think maybe like they lost to like

michigan state it says oh no but that was more recent that was like tom iso beat them really yeah he's the goat forced to play normal basketball but they could not recover dude the fact that the fact that in 1971 there were like a bunch of hopeful kids in the crowd and the generals just hit a fucking debt do you think they just had enough they were just like i feel like why wouldn't people be rooting for that if it's like they always win in how i met your mother ted and marshall are huge generals fans and they like go to the globetrotters games and like root for the generals but i think like the general consensus no pun intended is that everyone there wants the globe the globetrotters win i was at a globetrotters

game when i was a kid and they ran by either me or my dad and snagged our popcorn and like did a bit with it but it was like fuck that man that's your corn thank you that was exactly what i said they they brought us another one oh thank god but it was like in the moment like literally like just sat down with the thing of popcorn a guy runs by and grabs it you're like what speaking of that i heard that early like the i think this was in the same interview with the i don't know why i was watching an interview with the guy who started the savannah banana curious george s uh but he was saying that the harlem globetrotters like were so popular at one point that they the nba was trying to get as popular as them so they would do like a double header where like the nba game was basically

the opener for a globetrotters game just to get people into the stands like it was the globetrotters were like and apparently they would do like double features like they once out sold they sold out back-to-back games at msg and stuff like the globetrotters were like the shit which is very bizarre to me but that's kind of what was happening with bananas right but he was like but but his whole thing was like that but that was kind of a flash in the pan and then they kind of just slowly lost relevance he was like how long we stay is up to us i don't know i think people love i love the i love what they're doing for the game i do like it i've seen the have you seen they have like a they have like a u12 team yes well i don't even think that's like a sanctioned thing is it

i don't know i just see this one kid is like oh man he's like the pizza guy it kind of makes me sad yeah yeah if my son was doing that i'd be like why don't we hone your like it's like why don't we focus on fucking baseball yeah now let's let's stick with maybe the fundamentals before we yeah do whatever the fuck you're doing let's focus on the dementals before we get caught up in the fun all right uh what a mystery my my friend's job my dad my friend john's dad co-starred my friends john dad jeff travel basketball team and he had a he used whatever that fundamentals cliche was he's like you're mental if you're not having fun dude i was i'm not just saying this i when i was little was a i was so good at youth soccer until i was like nine and then it all just came

crashing down i was the goat of youth soccer for like two years of my life when i was like six or seven i did were your parents like was it were you good enough where they were like we might not have to pay for college i mean i don't know i i wasn't like okay to be fair i was in like a like house league or it was like it was like a like a city run right like the city of lancaster put on like a yeah yeah youth soccer league so i wasn't like in like one of like the academies or something but i fucking ran that i think it was just mom said like i i was started reading at like a really young age like i so like i think i just like what so i was like kind of the goat as a kid like i was just like no i'm just like i don't think i was no i like i don't even think

i was athletic i think i just like figured out what stuff to do like maybe six is even two like It might have even been five and six. We were literal tiny children, but I remember I would just take the ball and I would just go. I think it might just be a confidence thing. I think when I was that little, I just did not want the ball. Okay, yeah, maybe that was also. But anyway, the moment it got to the point where it was actually like,

okay, everyone now has developed their brains and now it matters how athletic you are. My career just tanked, man. there was there was a kid you could make a name for yourself in in youth sports in like one game like my friend alec riggle in in the playoffs he had four goals in a soccer game and we talked about it i wasn't even on i didn't even play soccer and i would talk about it until like we were like freshmen in high school remember when alec had four goals in the stanford what was it called the google uh sanford classic soccer tournament brother why are we googling because

i'm trying to remember if that was and what is going to happen if it is called that then i'll know summer classic stanford it was something yeah stanford stanford or something wow stanford shut the fuck up oh i'm trying to i'm trying to get uh trying to get better at uh being able to drive with the windows up like i can't i like hate driving around with my windows up and so today i like having the windows down i know but i'm saying like i can't do it like at some point i need to grow up and be able to drive without everything down i don't know i just feel like it's beautiful here every day yeah is that a weird am i getting in my own head wait i don't understand i'll be at

like i'll just be like driving around i feel like it's like childish like the amount of fun i'm having with all the windows down in the that's insane that's the best part of driving yeah right okay yeah yeah all right don't don't let that inner kid die i don't know i just say like i have to turn my music down when i get to stop lights and stuff fuck it shut your mouth before i fuck it that's a kid cuddy lyric shut he says shut your mouth before i fuck it yeah who is that too um that sounds like it's from indicud i think this is gonna come up with something we don't want to see oh no it's yeah cut his own shut your mouth before i fuck it they will love it it's a different time in 2009 that's like a that's like something like the biggest guy on the yard says to you in

prison when you're like won't shut up shut your mouth before i fuck it yeah do you see brian coberger is complaining that the other inmates aren't letting him sleep they've been taking shifts they've been they've been taking shifts yelling into the vent that goes to his uh cell and he says he hasn't slept in three days and all the people are like oh oh you can't get any peace when you're asleep that sounds from because he killed four people in their sleep and then to there but also why do they not let because he's in like a maximum security prison aren't like half of them murderers is it because he did it in like a cowardly way i think probably yeah but like imagine like imagine imagine being like the hr person at san quentin or wherever the fuck he is

and they're like he's like complaining that the other inmates aren't letting him sleep like they don't care does he think that they were gonna care yeah i don't i mean yeah i don't know is there a party that's scared that you're gonna like go to jail at some point yeah i always think about that black near episode where that couple is just driving and they're having a sweet time they're like singing to each other and then they just hit a biker out of nowhere and they're like fuck we just killed a guy like what do we do this is a new one no it's way old one it's the one where they can like see your memories with like a little oh do you remember that like she like his he thinks his wife's cheating on him so he like makes her is it the contacts that they're wearing no this

one is like it's like um investigators can go through all your all of your memories so i don't think i've seen that one there's like one where they hit this biker he dies they like bury the body and then they they like don't speak about it one of the first ones they made i think so yeah for like 10 years they don't speak about it and then the guy is like i have to fess up like it's eating me alive and then she like kills him and buries his body and then she goes on this like murder spree and they end up finding out it's her because um i think she has like a fish or something that basically watches her like murder her own family her own child the fish has the eye thing too apparently they put it on like a uh like a fish or like a hamster or something they put it

on the stand yeah yeah why would i just do it on her um you have to be down i think you need like a warrant i don't remember why they don't put it on her but there's a there's a small part of me for some reason it's like like that's a real fear of mine is that i'll like murder a guy and like be in jail for the rest of my life i mean i got arrested like a few months ago yeah do you hear about will i think will got arrested on the podcast yeah it was crazy bad boys of podcasting i got arrested hope it doesn't happen again uh my harry potter world video is popping popping off oh yeah how many views you got four million i think three million that's awesome and uh what yeah it's pop every time will and i

go do one of these drink around there there are they're my they're my most viewed videos but uh i said enough from the peanut gallery to will because he was like laughing the peanut gallery it comes from this it was like the cheapest seats in a theater and they were like notoriously rowdy and would like heckle the performers whatever and one guy tried to say that it was racist and all the people responded me like defending me but there was a part i woke up to it like i went to bed and all this happened while i was asleep and then i woke up and was like oh my god this would be a crazy way to go down but i i wasn't the guy was the guy was mistaken i'm glad it's very racist to me i andrew is uh race is found that racist i did that offended me i did i did find

that racist i did hey is there anything you like can't we all just get along maybe an apology yeah i mean i'm sorry there's just i feel i feel like i've never been more scared of stepping on like a landmine than now like i that's a thing i've been saying forever and one guy said there's nothing wrong with it i know but i'm saying there was a i woke up hung over from this and that was like one of the yeah and there were yeah it was scary oh yeah my heart would drop i think soccer predictions for the next year balls are gonna get bigger tottenham's gonna win no tottenham stinks now apparently bro just i just made a prediction oh okay all right i'm sorry i didn't know they stink now honestly i just had i was trying to stand by my word what are

you guys doing this weekend nothing you're not you i've hung up i've uh oh yeah are you in are you sober through november now i'm sober through october 5th at least through my marathon beast oh really i've uh i was i think i was gonna stop next tuesday but harry potter world was so much drinking yeah that i said you know what i'm good so yeah i learned how people become how how how slippery of a slope alcohol was after harry potter because i was in so we recorded that day and then i went home and i was in so much pain that i literally like i didn't know what to do i was just like pacing around my room like this like i'm gonna feel like this forever and i was like you know what a guinness would make me feel better and i had a guinness felt

immediately better and i was like oh that's how it happens like i like learned yeah i learned how people you know when someone's like i went on a two-week bender you're like how yeah that's how is you wait you the first night gets fucking out of hand and then you come home and you're like i this is the only thing i can do to make me feel better yeah i saw a girl she was the manager of a chick-fil-a i think or some fast food restaurant and it was one of those like sober pages it was actually like fascinating i i like going down those rabbit holes but it one of the questions she was answering was like when was your rock bottom and she said she woke up and was so hung over that she was like i'll start drinking again and then what like doesn't remember anything

wakes up it's just starting to get dark out so she can't tell if it's like really early in the morning or or like dawn is it dawn or dusk whatever she can't tell if it's evening or the morning she had uh gotten so drunk she got in her pjs and went to bed slept through her entire shift the person who she was supposed to like relieve like the previous manager had to work like 18 hours because no one was there to relieve that person because she was supposed to and and uh and that was her rock bottom and then i wanted to i went to the comments because i was like all things considered that's not that bad of a rock like you missed you missed like one yeah you missed one shift through work but now she's like she looks like so healthy and like dropped all the

alcohol weight or whatever and it was like all things considered it could have been most people's rock bottom is like i killed a guy with my car she was like i missed one shift and i was like i when i worked at a restaurant i would i would be late all the time or like i would just like miss a shift or whatever and there was no part of me that's like i need to get my act together yes although if you slept through it if you got if you missed a shift because you were so drunk that you didn't know whether it was day or night i think that'd be a reasonable time for a reckoning yeah yeah i slept through a shift one time when i was working as a cart boy at a golf course and it was like a really important day we were like washing all the carts before like our big

annual tournament and um when i showed up to work one of the guys from like the top of the hill far away was like nice of you to finally show up and i was like already kind of like in a bad mood and felt guilty and i thought it was like one of my like boys like another fellow cart boy so i just flipped him off like from my car window realized it was my boss's boss that i just flipped off no and uh and i was like fuck so then we're like washing the carts he pulls up in a cart right next to me he goes so uh you know why i'm here and i go because i flipped you off he goes you flipped me off i was like no he goes no you flipped me off didn't you oh my god and i was like i thought it was someone else and he was like it's fine just like don't miss like your

shift again what a cool i remember yeah do you think there's a do you think there was a small part of him that was like this guy's a fucking he's a badass he just flipped off his boss respects it yeah yeah i guess if you're gonna be late fucking double down dude i well i just i just started breaking bad and it's they're like oh i guess i won't spoil it but there's no you could but like it's like that that sixth sense uh uh nate bargetts he has a he does a sixth sixth sense sense joke which came out in like the 90s and he's like he's like technically i'm gonna spoil it but like if you haven't seen it but like i don't want you guys to be like but we were gonna watch it tonight like you had you had if you you can spoil breaking bad okay okay

well i just finished the first season last night but have you not seen it you've been ripping through it it's only seven episodes oh right right right it's taking like a week but anyway the he like there jesse tries to go get in with like tuco or whatever and the guy like fucks him up and then walt goes and like bombs their place and then he's like all right now i'll do business with you that's that's what i'm thinking like with you like you flick him off and he's like you're you're promoting it was like that was a test you want to be my boss it just it cuts no andrew's a member of the country club now yeah it's like we've been needing to spice it up people get it's get a little stale around here i remember sleeping

through i was like an hour too late for a shift one time when i was a bus boy at lewis barbecue and i showed up and my boss was like he'd already gotten someone to fill in like someone else to show up for my job so he's like i'm gonna pay you minimum wage and you have to spend all day reorganizing our storage container and i was like deal what were you getting paid like before that uh 150 000 a year well it was i was it was like four something an hour plus tips kind of thing but it would end up being more but it was like he just straight up 720 because 725 is still minimum wage in south carolina which is like 70 725 an hour you have to be here all day organizing why is it legal to pay below minimum wage and like count on tips well if they

if the tips don't add up to minimum wage then you have to supplement that that still feels like kind of like dirty now i feel like you pay a minimum wage and then they earned the tips like it's not if if it's not the employees fault that like you can't pay them minimum wage you know what i mean i agree i mean yeah that doesn't make any sense to me every restaurant job i worked i had i think it was like minimum weight right granted it was in maine maine's a little different but it was like i think like 15 an hour and then tips like i don't think they like subtracted your wage because you were getting like that's your money they didn't yeah i've been getting real fucking fed up with taxes yeah oh my god the government i don't it makes me it makes me irrationally mad and i know

this isn't like a no i'm not the first this isn't like a hot take i'm not the first guy to be like taxes stink but like when you're a kid it's not a thing you think about they just take half of they just take half of your money and they go oh you earned all you earned that money granted we earned it doing it in kind of a fun way so like it's not like i like work in a coal mine or something but like it's not your money well i mean you know there's a lot there's a lot of stuff that i don't use any of them though i don't use any of those what did you drive here on a car that i paid my money for no on like the shittiest road i hit like 11 i literally almost ruined the car that i bought with my own money yeah because these places suck

so much yeah and i get it like my house catches on fire like i want that yeah but just half half of my money to go to school yeah okay i want the kids to go to school but i don't have any i don't fucking have it don't you want other people's kids to be able to go to school or your future kids i get yeah yes you're right you're right i do want that but half of my fucking money like we should be able to accomplish that with less than half i'm becoming i mean and granted i know i know i've taken two econ classes and i dropped out of one and failed the other so i'm definitely not i'm not going to sit here and say i have the greatest understanding of the economy yeah i heard i heard there's a fun little thing that that we did once where uh there we

lowered taxes and we just increased sales tax like through the fucking roof so that people who are who are not buying like luxury things or like things that aren't necessities have to pay out the ass in taxes but they don't have to pay it for just nothing i think we should do that and then it would and then it would curb my spending a little bit because right now yeah i buy ridiculous stuff and i was gonna say i think it would still hit you pretty hard but i would feel good about that i would be like this makes sense like i like i buy ridiculous things yeah all the fucking time and i think that i should be penalized for that i think that that's like okay not good that i do that but i don't think that you should be able to take half my

money and then i still get to buy the ridiculous things take none of my money and then penalize me for buying legos and shoes okay yeah that's what i or what if you just uh heavily tax the people with like tens of billions of dollars who don't need that money let's do that let's fucking do that yeah but here we were talking about this on the car ride the other day i and granted again not a new take i think other people have probably talked about this on their podcast yeah but i learned because i i was not i'm not saying i was on the side of the billionaires but i was like well you can't tax them on their like shares that they haven't realized yet you know what i mean like that makes sense but then i didn't realize they can go out and get a loan and use those

shares as collateral so like they don't have any of the real money but then they go to a bank and they're like can i borrow a billion dollars and they're like okay what are you gonna put up as collateral and they're like well the shares so it's like it is a real thing they have the money that's what i'm saying yeah so now i'm this just in now i'm anti-billionaire now you're let's go we got them we got one we got one just take why don't we just all right i got a good i got a good solution yeah whoever's the richest guy at the end of the year every year we take half of his fucking money just take half from each of them and we could probably offset all of our taxes i know but i'm saying but i'm saying they'd all leave but i'm saying just the one richest guy

then it could be like a fun reality show where we're checking in we're like how's elon gonna get rid of like you know because they'd have to do something good with it they can't buy the all stupid stuff with the billion dollars so whoever's the richest guy is one guy whoever's the richest guy at the end of the year we take half of his fucking money okay so you think that and then that would create some sort of system where like in december they're all just giving copious amounts to charity i think so i actually like probably right yeah i mean i think yeah or or they just have like a million they'd all have like a ridiculous amount of private jets but it's like you can't yeah that also yeah like you can't spend i don't think you can spend like

10 billion dollars or 100 but you like that would be like fucking impossible correct so let's just hoarding i know i'm on your side now all i'm all i'm saying is like we're middle class guys why are you taking half of mine take someone else take the take the guy above me but then if i ever get there go back to the middle class that's that's where that's where i get that's where i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place where i'm like there's almost a zero percent chance i have like a ridiculous amount of money but like if i ever do i don't want people to be able to play this back oh they will oh they've already clipped it you're cooked what's the most amount of money you think we'll have i don't know like do you think when we're like 90 like a million

is gonna be like nothing oh you know what i mean like inflation yeah uh i don't know yeah i mean it already is i mean it's obviously not nothing but it's like do you know like like in anywhere near where we live you couldn't buy like a house millionaires used to be like what used to be like what we think of like like people who have hundreds of millions of dollars like if you had a million dollars you were like you had you had a monocle i mean you're still chilling but you're still chilling you still chilling for sure you still chilling for sure but the the cost of living keeps going up and wages aren't going up to match it and it's creating a weird i mean do you think about like when your parents were buying a house yeah like my parents like at my i think my mom

was like maybe a year older than me now or two years older than me now and they were buying a nice family home in pennsylvania and i'm like i can't even imagine i don't know when i'll possibly be able to buy a house when my mom was my age she had two children and like like a nice house yeah i have i live with three guys yeah i live what was the statistic where it was like like uh to have the the home buying power that like our grandparents have a minimum wage worker would have to make 66 an hour that's probably true yeah i haven't seen that probably you used to be able to buy a house from sears for like a thousand dollars from sears pull that up sears would like sell you they'd like ship you a house like sears like house yes sears sold houses between

1908 and 1940 and they were like wow i can you can you pat me on the back i've been right about some of the crazy things like they used to they used to yeah click on like that first one you just like flip through a catalog and be like that one's nice 938 dollars 938 dollars i would it's a nice house that's a big house too that's a if that house was in brentwood that is five million dollars yeah okay but hear me out what if landlords own it all and we just all pay rent to the landlords and they get richer and you then how does black rock make money and then wait wait let me think about this because we gotta and we tip say what you will about billionaires i do still want to take care of black rock i want to make sure those guys are

good i want landlords to be happy i feel like i i feel like tenants are so annoying to them and they work so hard to create value for us if you're my fucking landlord i actually forgot about this these are so my andrew my rent just went up a hundred dollars a person okay do you want to know what has happened before just before and since they've raised it we almost died in our sleep from carbon monoxide poisoning yeah whoa uh the fireman told me that it was he was like this is they thought the they thought his gauge was broke they have like a thing that detects it they thought it was broken because it was so high so he took it outside to air it out and it fucking spiked again our the all of our gas just shoots out this vent and just comes directly back into

the house the guy was like you you could have died in your sleep yeah called our landlord didn't pick up uh sent them an email did not respond uh our my shower will go ice cold just randomly for the rest of the shower um a real cat burglars like i'm not joking like pro burglars broke into our park they hotwired our parking garage and broke into everyone's cars and stole all their shit this is this is not even this isn't like two years worth of stuff this is the last two months and they raised our fucking rent and they it'd be one thing if if you would answer my calls and be like we're working on it we're yes we're gonna fix this yes we're looking into the cap these fucking cat burglars i have not been able to get a hold of one person so if you're my landlord out

there uh i want you to come over to my house for a dinner party on the balcony and then i'm going to put your face up against the gas thing and then throw you off i if you're a if you're a landlord if you're a landlord i i actually there's something about you i want to pull your pants down and spank your bottom until my handprint is tattooed on your ass for the rest of your life all right what else is going on um that's when you gotta get the gun out the window start shooting it every other night you know just up in the air yeah yeah that'll bring you keep them honest yeah oh i see what you're saying your rent will go down after that yeah that's true i don't know it hasn't it happens every night outside my house nothing has happened

there it's going up baby rent keeps going up dude the first night at willie and i's house i think i heard a guy get murdered when we lived together for that one summer there was a there was a scream it like this was how long ago three years ago yeah i still can hear that scream it was a guy it was a guy like currently getting murdered the best was when um when the citizen app told us there was a guy with a knife 30 feet away and we were we were in the kitchen or we were in the living room and we were like in every direction 30 feet is still on our property i'm thinking about you guys like all city grad be like who has yeah all right who's got the

yeah billy's like making lunch yeah it's him get him yeah yeah what about um oh i mounted a tv yesterday by yourself yeah whoa well scott helped a little but i feel like i was running it is it's a two-man job it's very like he was helping me yeah have you done it i hire i personally hired a task rabbit but that's just because yeah i i think i'm maybe handy enough now to do it but i didn't have a stud finder it was like before i had all my tools so i was like if i mount my this tv and then it rips the whole drywall off it's gonna cost a lot more than the 50 bucks for a task rabbit totally it was best part for girls do your task rat what it was for girls oh you mounted the girls upstairs four girls i'm sorry you didn't mount i'm not i don't

want to hear about you mounting the girls up andrew probably does yeah tell me no no it was just our friends that our girls were like hey could you mount right our tv they texted me and sky was like hey do you guys know how to mount a tv and i was like sure can't be that hard yeah of course and then i came into work and i was like rick i need help so rick kind of walked me through it um and then dylan had all the tools for me uh that's the shit i would do when i was single i would just get like superhuman strength anytime a girl asked me to do something like i remember in high school there was one time there was like this box we needed to carry and like i had no business being able to like lift it up but i had a big crush on the girl so i was like i got

it it's easy i eat boxes like my eyeballs i could feel them popping out i was like gonna cry got it there was like yeah no problem and then just like cried in the bathroom my friend zoe kellerman when we moved into we were sophomores at rollins and she was like hey can you come over and build my bed yeah and like you know you're just like you've literally you've nothing to do when you're in college like syllabus week there was like i was like yeah sure that sounds uh andrew and i call it silly week you're good though and uh and i remember going over and just continuously fucking it up and having to like disassemble it and like put it back and she was like do you want me to do you want any help like ah i got it dude zach my roommate zach uh i think i said this already but

he we've lived together for a year now over a year now uh and his tv uh was still in the box in the hallway between his my room and his room for the first 12 months and now he has brought it into his room and i told him so originally my girlfriend was like looking for a tv that exact size i was like perfect he clearly doesn't want this fucking tv she'll buy it for full price he and get his money back he's like no it's going up this weekend that was a month ago i he's such a sweetheart i read like we don't get an arguments but i was i it was like the way your dad like yells at his son when like he's like slack he's like which is you i'm the dad and i was like wait no but the way your dad yells at his son oh the way a dad yells at his son about like he's like

not cleaning his room or whatever i was like dude like you want to watch tv at night like all he talks about is like oh it must be nice like when i go in and watch i'm like you have the tv just fucking mount it and he's like no i don't want to or i was like i'll hire a task rabbit it's like 40 it would just make me happy if it was like done and and finished and he's like no it's going up this saturday and i snapped and was like i would literally like no disrespect i would bet my fucking life that on sunday morning tv is still on the thing and it still is this was two weeks ago zach if you're listening uh put your fucking tv up oh he just launched a podcast podcast fantasy football podcast oh called under center so if you guys want to go check you guys want he's actually

he's weirdly knowledgeable about fantasy football so fantasy football i i feel like i had like a year off year on like some years i'm locked in some years i'm like can't remember to set my line up moving to the west coast has made it hard the game starting at 10 a.m i like it i like it but i'm still not used to it so i forget to set my line up waking up and being able to just turn your tv on there's already a game yeah greatest feeling ever football is uh there's quarterbacks there's everything right they've yeah there's like running backs right yeah um wide receivers defense anyone watch the taylor swift uh appearance on our sister podcast i haven't but i think i'm going to fellow accelerator yeah i haven't watched it yet but i think i will because

even though i'm not i'm not a huge like swifty like i don't really have a strong opinion either way i like some of her songs i just feel like i've never heard her talk i know she's never really done so that's why i'm intrigued i watched the beginning of it i haven't made it that far but um yeah she's dropping an album album apparently sabrina carpenter is going to be on it because sabrina on sabrina carpenter's website there is a countdown to the same date well she she announced the track list sabrina carpenter on it yeah i fucking love sabrina i think she's on a show called a song called the life of a showgirl which is also the name of our album of the out of the album i album where some see heroes

and others see egos bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes a fad to some the future of money to others we see cryptos trillion dollar swings the end of jobs or the end of human struggle we see the endless funds fueling the ai hype while others follow the noise we follow the money learn more at bloomberg.com i'm twisted come on this episode is brought to you by twisted tea twisted tea is a refreshing hard tea that tastes like real tea because it's brewed with real iced tea uh it's got five percent i think i call it that i call that the q zone q zone it's the perfect amount of abv four is too low six is too high five is perfect it's also not carbonated so you can drink that bad boy all

day long willie when's the last time you got twisted uh maybe literally three days ago after our big day at harry potter world i came home and said i'm gonna sit on my back patio soak up some rays and drink a twisted tea and boy did that do the trick these things are delicious big fan of the raspberry yeah i'm a half and half guy are you just saying that no i go back and forth i do really like the original yeah the original the original and half and half are my fave i do you know because i do get i get the game day pack or i get the variety pack or whatever yeah so you know what trust me when i reach in that box i i do i play twisted tea roulette where whatever i pull out of the box that's the one i'm drinking let me tell you i'm never mad about it

uh but i do i like the original i like half and half the best guys twisted tea is so delicious and we want you to be able to experience so go grab a refreshing twisted tea today you can get them anywhere you get anything yep you can get them you know where to find them grab a twisted of tea take a sip and when you take that first sip say thanks will and rusty say walk into a grocery store and scream will and rusty sent me and they'll be like oh the twisted teas are right over there all right let's get back into the episode oh my god yeah the blaster so this you got a gun so this not a real gun star wars blaster this very that looks so sick nicest guy in the world his name's elliot west check him out on instagram makes like sick props and stuff and

he heard me talking about cassie and andor being my favorite character on the podcast so he reached out and he was like yo i just made uh a custom version of cassian's blaster check it out on my page if you like it i'll make you one and i was like oh my god that would be amazing so he made me the blaster he put it in a case that has like my name in the star wars language with a rebel logo on the i mean it is the coolest single coolest thing i've ever owned it's a one of fucking hot streak too i was telling a lightsaber a lightsaber a wand and a blaster in like less than a month and then yeah what else are you i'm on fucking i'm just on fire in general dude yeah you have been i've been poop my poops lately have just been like like like a like a shotgun

oh is that that's good i i don't know when mine's liquid i feel like oh yeah i know something's wrong so obviously i know who this character is right for the playmates that don't i've never seen it have you seen rogue one can you explain i have actually he's the protagonist of rogue one oh he's the main guy well i mean i guess uh technically like jim urso is the him he's the girl right what's that i thought it was the girl is yeah felicity jones jim urso and then he's like her uh i guess love interest but partner in crime oh okay i uh and then they made a whole show about called andor that's two seasons that's leading up to rogue one about his backstory he's the most badass rebel in the fucking galaxy he's my hero i want to be him i'm like just

starting to kind of get a grasp on like the main plot of star wars i think it would be a bad idea for me to like move on to these before i fully understand no you if you you should rogue one dude if you've seen all the other movies i think it's the best one and it takes place in between the prequels and the original trilogy you should absolutely watch rogue one and then you could work your way back that's a hot take i didn't know that it's the best i don't think everyone hates it right i more mean like love it rogue one's great i more mean like i i have enough currently to digest like i don't even totally understand well sure one through six but like i've it'll give you more clues it won't make it more confusing it's a it's a piece of the

understand how my brain like i like like harry potter is one of my favorite things ever and every time i watch it i notice something new yeah so i'm thinking like i need to do that with star wars before i can like move on to anything else well i'm like if there's a full movie you haven't seen i don't know why wouldn't you watch it it's just it's it's i don't know also watch the new ones people are obviously they're not as good rise of skywalker yeah the the new trilogy it's like yes there's some of them are shitty some of it's cringy but it's like dude you're getting three full movies of star wars it's still fun to watch i just if i have free time to sit down and watch something i think it's going to be potter i'm so excited for the tv show yeah that'll be fun

well you should watch rug one i i genuinely think it might be my favorite but i don't even really like the i don't even like the originals i kind of only really rock with the prequels so think about it the prequels were made after so if you like the newer and newer so stuff by that logic i will i will like this net this more this new stuff even more i mean rogue one is not that is not part of that trilogy like rogue one is it's a standalone fantastic fantastic about like the rebels that like did some like daring mission yeah they like it's like the first sentence of the yes okay it's like how they got the plans to the death star which is what they open with in a new hope it's so good man yeah do you like andrew do you like star wars or harry potter more um harry

potter would you have guessed what do you think it makes sense that willie likes star wars more and i like harry potter more yeah yeah i could see that i was more of a percy jackson kid actually me too bro that was you watch that show no because i felt weird about them being like 10 years old Is that a movie? No, no. You should watch the show. Really? Is that books or movies?

Books and then movies and then a show. Is it kind of like Harry Potter? Yeah. Dude, Percy Jackson's awesome. Should I watch that? The movies I don't like as much. Yeah. The Logan Lerman movies, is that what it was?

Yeah, Logan Lerman. They were right. What's her name? It's Annabeth. Yes. She's like a sex symbol now. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

What's her name? What's her name? She's in True Detective. she's in Alexandra Daddario pull her up that wasn't weird just I was trying to

no no no pull her up oh yeah she's in Pretty Little Liars isn't she I don't know isn't that Annabeth that's Annabeth right we did a charity volleyball tournament when I was a kid

so it was like the women's our varsity women's team a neighboring town's varsity women's team and then we would both field a team of just regular guys okay and it was like a round robin thing and i think there might have been another school and in the background there's this like woman talking and i didn't know who she was and then i would hear whispers like people were like freaking out about this woman it was one of the girls from a pretty little liar pretty little liars was at our charity volleyball tournament and i got a picture of her we'll put it right here what who was it what is pretty is that a show or a movie it's a show i think they like kill a guy

kill a girl was it shay mitchell it was the i think it was the girl maybe it wasn't pretty little liars then what's the other one what's the other show just like that um vampire diaries no it was it was one of those we'll put a picture of right here snake oil no but you guys will know what snake oil it's like a reality show that david spade hosted last year that was like the worst thing liam and i watched it one time it was horrible i am very now i'm very curious who this woman was oh is it cake who is it cake what was the show that um the guy who plays joe goldberg is in who's joe goldberg uh it you that murderer guy oh uh what's his name um wait wait don't say anything don't say what's everyone doing wait

one second one second it's uh it's pen pen bagley and pen badge ben badgeley ben ben he looks like our friend michael kelman um i love gossip girl gossip girl's my jam i've never seen it you would like god maybe you wouldn't fuck it's a little just about to like it's a little cheesy for you i think okay like i think i don't think you'd be able to take it seriously because like i watched i like cheesy stuff sometimes i like um psych watch the first episode of gossip girl you i i started watching it when i was pretty young so i think like i started liking it before i realized that maybe it's not written very well sure and now you have like but now yeah i love it gossip girl is my fave yeah all right should we get into our roadmap yeah hit me we got a beautiful episode

for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches then we're gonna do am i the asshole then we are gonna do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard there's rocks in my yard is it weird that the theme song like i'm kind of getting tired of the theme song i feel like what i feel like if i'm tired of it the playmates gotta know they love it and then we're gonna do everyone's favorite segment teach me something and then we are gonna do what no i was doing and then we are gonna do rom-coms that don't exist and and pet names for your boyfriend or girlfriend that don't exist and then we'll wrap up with rusty's song of

the day i realized i accidentally did my one last week was just one that i had already done yeah that's just people were that was people were like that is so on brand we're just repeated i was scrolling through my calendar trying to because usually i set reminders like add this song before like at like the night before so it'll be on there by the time the episode comes out and i could not figure out where i it was like when you're doing an algebra problem when you're a kid and you can't figure out where you fucked up so you're like retracing your steps i was the most confused i've ever been in my entire life but it was because sick love was already on there sick love was already on that was weird to me because when you add a song to spotify it's

already in the playlist doesn't say like that's why i was like oh i already added this that's where i realized i fucked up but you just made it your song of the day anyway you didn't add it i didn't notice it until we had recorded the episode oh okay so you hadn't added it yeah okay do we have any mailbag today no no mailbag unfortunately first no mailbag 149 bay street santa monica california all right should we hear a pitch andrew yes make it sting make it sting i just want to say that i thought we were work from home after this and figuring out we are not has taken all the wind out of my sails i'm glad i like showered and i almost came here in like pajamas yeah that would have been really bad dude that would have been really fucked up i should

have just i should have just gone home and asked questions later but i clarified with like all of our bosses i was like what we're not work from home and they were all like did you see that michael porter jr clip where he was like talking about how he won't date girls that have already hooked up with an nba player because he's worried that if he's having a good game that guy will just be like doesn't matter i fucked your girlfriend yeah no but that's right that's how i feel about like podcasting right like you'd never sleep with like um another tana mojo a girl that oh because then brooks gofield could say that she podcasts with your girlfriend you're at a club that's actually a really good point you're at a club and someone's like

that's why i podcast that's why i was a guest on your girlfriend's podcast fuck you and then i i hit him so hard they fall asleep 2025 beef that's why that's why i did the renegade on your girlfriend 2025 that's why that's why your girlfriend yeah that's all right do the pitch all right uh dear charlie mac and dennis charlie mac and dennis sorry andrew i'll be dear what's the worst part about getting beer with your significant other oh they don't want one and or maybe they don't they don't like you they yeah they don't like no i would say i would say the worst part about getting beer with your significant other at least in my in my experience

is they don't want to have the amount that i want to have and so i have to just have one beer because my girlfriend takes 45 minutes to finish a martini which is good i don't want a girlfriend that drinks a lot but or maybe i don't know maybe i want her to drink more flan why don't you drink more what was the sorry what uh so you're right uh the missus doesn't want to buy a pack of ipas and you don't want to buy a pack of white claws right no introducing the his and hers pack six drinks that are mainly bought by women and six drinks that are mainly bought by men right so it'd be like six it'd be like it'd be like three girl beers and three friday beers that's a good analogy oh collab uh could even be good for one person if you get tired of drinking one beer all

night it's a date a date pack and it's three yeah yeah that's a good six three wine coolers and three shots of jaeger yeah that's what we drink guys you know us guys we're always doing jaeger bombs dude we are always doing jaeger bombs and or do you watch entourage no i just got recommended it there is one of there's one of the funniest lines in tv history maybe it's only funny because so seth green wait what shows is entourage seth green plays himself but he's like a douche version of seth green so like and i know who that is seth green is a very famous actor he also is the voice of chris on family guy can you look up seth green seth green plays like a douchey version of himself oh yeah i've seen this guy but in reality i think he's a really nice guy but he like is this huge

douchebag who runs with like this posse of kind of oddball guys and they're in vegas at the same time as the main the main characters uh him and his entourage yeah and he keeps trying to get them to take like jaeger bombs and and vince's manager who's like the main character is like uh he's like he's like we're not we're not fucking high school we're not doing jaeger bombs and they keep like saying no and then every time they see them throughout the weekend seth green goes oh it's the we don't drink jaeger crew that's funny i have a jaeger bomb i i have a ton of jaeger at my house for some reason and uh and i haven't i haven't had any in a while i like jaeger there's nothing wrong with it but it just i don't know the fact like you shouldn't have it at your

house it should be at bars because there's never a point where i'm like yeah i gotta hankering for a jaeger bomb at home i can change that i can change you uh what's his name jay jay i fucking love that bitch yeah i like that i also maybe like the maybe like it could be like a good product yeah or like this this jesus lord william the stock boy at the at the grocery store you know how they have like like sometimes someone will take one out of a six pack so now you have like five yeah he takes all the beers that don't have a home and like makes his own like frankenbeer frankenbeers oh so you you got one that's like three heinekens and a three heinekens a high noon a white cloth and a friday beer yeah have you seen that bullpen game yeah

oh yeah i like some guy put it one kind of similar to that it was like tonight's bullpen and it was like bud light bud light bud light uh budweiser pre budweiser select and then like shot like three shots like he'd already planned out his night of drinks that's funny yeah bullpen game was on could be the move right i don't know but i got it could be the move right now what was it phone coaster when you're on a couch you do that and people who say it makes i'm really nervous in the comments i've said that before well because i think it's just they don't realize how sturdy these couches are like on a normal couch that would be there's like those commercials where you remember those mattress commercials where they'd put a glass of wine

on like the corner of the bed then they'd all like jump on it to show you but it's like that doesn't tell me anything about how how comfortable it is yeah i think it's supposed to be like if you're getting out of bed in the morning and your partner is sleeping you're not like waking them up because they're not like ida could be the move for bobby the other day i don't think he ended up using it it wasn't really it could be the move but i was driving to work and a bus like a city bus drove by and this old man stopped what he like stopped walking and like put his stuff down and saluted the bus driver as he went like stood at attention and saluted the bus driver that's awesome and if it was sarcasm that's also hilarious but like if you're just genuinely

thanking like public transit workers for their service i thought that was so funny that's awesome man stopping what you're doing standing at attention yeah at texas a&m we had the bus olympics which is all the student bus drivers one day before the um school year started they would like do competitions where they'd like weave through cones with the bus and stuff and whoever like had the highest score at the end of the year um or at the end of the week or whatever got uh i don't know a medal free tuition for you guys like go like drink and watch this um i don't know if it was open to the public but i just i heard about it from other bus drivers there was like a charity kickball tournament happening at our uh at our college and it happened to be like

at the field that one of our like buddies houses faced and so we were all sitting there like drinking watching it and we weren't on campus but then like the president president cornwall showed up and total cornball but he was a i thought he was a nice guy oh sorry uh but he showed up and we're like all 21 we're not doing anything wrong but something about like drinking in front of the president like we were like hiding our beers and he was like you're at your house you guys can do whatever you want that's very funny i um i met the owner of the chargers when i was drunk at like a company happy hour we all like went to a brewery and we had no idea that dean spanos dean spanos was gonna come and he was like oh so what do you do for the company and i

was like oh you'd like social media stuff and he was when you were at the chargers that was when i was working there yeah and i was and you could kind of tell that he didn't really understand my job right at all i was like he's like how much am i paying you yeah should we hear another pitch yeah pitch me all right hello kip napoleon and rico rico are these like different laws lafonda what are these like laws napoleon dynamite oh kip's like his brother and i was into the rico laws that's a thing right rico is like a yes like rico charges yeah yeah all right um haven't you always wanted to know the deepest darkest secrets of the world and maybe find out if some of your favorite conspiracy theories are true introducing the deathbed deathbed is a service

intended to deliver you the cold hard truth right before it's time to ko a high-ranking government official will come to your house while you're on your deathbed give you a rundown of all the hidden knowledge that might be shocking the agent will be alongside you until you're passing to keep information secure and business alive oh that's great yeah i like this a lot i'm i am let's role play it okay yeah i'm on your death or i'm on you're on your deathbed i'm the agent you can ask me anything okay who are you i i work for the government okay you you hired you paid for this all right sorry i'm dying of dimension

okay uh be honest why did the chargers leave san diego uh that one's pretty straightforward no that's a dumb one i don't want that one that doesn't count that doesn't count you have unlimited you can do whatever that doesn't count right yeah that one doesn't count that one's pretty straightforward though i think you know the answer it was it was mostly like a financial thing oh who killed john lennon uh i think it was jack ruby i'm pretty sure no the same guy who killed lee harvey oswald okay then it was uh what are the odds i i wasn't honestly i should have been more prepped for this they he killed oh my god it's the guy whoever they were traveler whoever we said it was that we that one we were right about okay that one we didn't lie about okay

and where did they bury atlantis uh well atlantis wasn't actually buried it was a real it was a real place it uh it just like with the shifting tides and stuff it became submerged fuck i feel like i'm fucking up all my no these are good questions what's beneath argentina fuck wait that's a dumb one that's a fucking the earth's what no no that's dumb where is the fountain of youth the fountain of youth uh is deep in the amazon and it's just hidden it's it's such a vast place that we just honestly we haven't even really gone to it we do know it's there though is there a is there are there any girls at area 51 are there any like women there yeah there are plenty of women yeah we um we follow the same hiring practices as most modern companies now

so yeah it's pretty much 50 50 right okay yeah do you mean like girl aliens no that was one of the questions what i was a fuck you said i could ask anything yeah all right keep going what's what's i feel like alaska right is like untapped there's a lot of untapped is there like any stuff up there we don't know about alaska yeah there's plenty of stuff up there um it's it's it has a rich history there's a lot of oil there that i think no like what's like one what what's like one crazy thing in the woods there i wouldn't expect all right this is my this is my deathbed question what's one crazy thing in the woods that i wouldn't expect uh i think you would be shocked to see how many uh people are lurking in there kidnapping um and like a lot of we have hidden

underground bunkers for the wealthy in case that there's like a huge apocalypse or something that was all he wanted to ask me those were like pretty like standard questions here comes are you dead are you dead or did you just run out of questions i don't know all right that was a good role play um yeah i love it i also think it could be fun just because like obviously you would want to know them before you die and one of the big plot holes is that we can't tell you because then you would know it what if it's right before you fucking fall asleep so you'll never know if it was a dream or not or what if it's they uh it's like people on death row get to find out right before because yeah yeah yeah like how do they

know if they tell you that in this scenario what if you like have a big recovery right yeah it has it has to be i think they have to shoot you if they tell you right before you know it's six cia agents are the firing squad and every question you answer they shoot you in a different part of your body so you're like you're like who killed who killed jfk and they're like us oh i fuck i didn't even think of that one and then they shoot you in the knee and you're like that's a that's actually definitely a good idea all right i'm in i'm worried i'm worried for you willie that those those were all questions that like i think you know the who killed john lennon that one i think is like pretty gonna find out i think we know i think we're like i'm pretty

positive that it was jack ruby who's jack ruby jack ruby's the guy that i don't know why i knew that but i don't know the guy who killed ruby that's the guy who killed lee harvey oswald yeah oh what year did john lennon get killed 1979 dude i think it was like the 90s no really not even close oh i was one year off what'd you say 1979 damn and i was 10 years off well we would have gotten like a ton more music out of him if he was here until the 90s Also, there would have been photos of him at courtside. Yeah, I don't have a good gauge on the time frame of the Beatles. You would have been at a WNBA game.

Yeah, you would have thrown a green dildo on the court. He would never have done such a thing. But JFK was killed in 1963. Yes. So Jack Ruby, 17 years later. Yeah. When killed. after he was killed didn't the guy kill jack ruby too so like lee harvey oswald killed jfk

jack ruby killed lee harvey oswald and then didn't someone kill jack ruby google who killed jack ruby he was in jail i think he died of cancer in jail i'm pretty sure yeah he died in in prison in prison from a pulmonary embolism um all right who killed him pulmonary pulmonary pulmonary all right paul maneri killed him paul maneri all right willie what oh my god my phone was just recording for 33 minutes great now we have audio recording that whole conversation god damn it oh my god my phone's like on fire dude you're always on fire all right here we go here's that my pitch what's the worst part of getting a scooter like what kind of scooter like a bird scooter uh when you're done with it it like never lets you put it down where you want to you

have to walk it like almost as far as you scootered in the first place or when you go to find one there's not one right by your house you know every time you don't want one they're like clogging up your driveway yeah scooter call boop writes itself and drives to you yeah it writes itself up and drives to your house and it's waiting for you right at the door love it easy simplest one two three i i just have seen the reaction to driverless cars and then like those coco things yeah i think every person who lives in los angeles those are like their two least favorite things are waymo's and those or like there are people that hate those things if that thing was driving next to me i would i would knock it over yeah but i think if you knock it over you go to

jail i like it it would be cool i just am tired like today i left my bike here so i had to get a scooter and then i had to walk like a bunch of blocks yeah but the future is gonna suck i thought the future was gonna be awesome it's just gonna be a million things whipping around at the speed of light with no drivers on future's gonna be ass yeah um all right what's the worst part about pooping at your significant other's house i don't know this is such a you thing you don't do it ever no now i do it but what's the worst part uh she steals it before you flush it if you make like a fart noise it's like echoes throughout our whole apartment no i already had a pitch to solve that it was uh it was a thing you put under the door and every time you're like you or make like a

loud noise when you're shitting it takes that noise and makes it sound like you're on like a business call okay so like wow and you'd be like you'd be like give me those numbers by noon uh this is this is a carbon monoxide type alarm that goes on the wall okay and uh oh sorry the worst part is that you like their bathroom reeks and you're worried they're not gonna like you anymore right so when it picks up that stinky stinky poop smell it uh beeps like a carbon monoxide thing and so she thinks that you guys have to go outside and let the gas out until it's safe to go back in there but then the second that it doesn't smell like poop anymore uh it it stops so you're like opening all the windows yeah no no but she never goes in there it's like out in the kitchen right

so yeah i like it so it forces you guys to go outside and like it's a carbon monoxide scare what if she calls like the fire department they know they know that it's fake because they come in and they'd be like wow that's a bad carbon monoxide leak no no they they over the phone would be like oh yeah we actually have access to it over the phone okay uh it's that that's sorry we were doing a test i like that yeah that's actually really good thank you that's practical love it um all right should we do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy what about am i this guy oh am i the asshole fuck am i the asshole for wanting to skip straight to this guy rocks no you're excited man hey shrek fiona and donkey fiona fiona i guess i'm i'm shrek and donkey

um okay okay i'm greedy okay so my ex and i broke up on thursday we spent friday night together as a last hurrah ended on good terms it just wasn't working out we don't hate each other uh sunday was my birthday so my friends and i went out saturday to celebrate i texted him to come out but he said he was with friends so he wasn't gonna come i texted him if i could see him and he said that was fine it was two days after we broke up and i wanted to spend my special day with someone i loved right i got really drunk and horny and pretty much ended up sleeping with someone else at night worst sex of my life worst sex or best sex worst uh i guess karma hit me immediately well i didn't spend the night and crawled into my ex's bed after i shook him asking if he if it was

fine he said yes i asked him if i could put on his clothes to go to sleep and he said yes i woke up in the morning she banged this guy and then immediately went to her boyfriend's house ex-boyfriend says boyfriend okay woke up in the morning to him mad saying i didn't tell you it was okay if you could sleep over i was already feeling guilty for what i did before and stayed silent and left oh it's been months now no contact i don't know if he knows i slept with someone beforehand the guilt has been personally wait andrew she slept with him that night too no no oh like just physically slept over just yeah yeah yeah uh the guilt has been eating me alive and i didn't i i know what i did was fucked up i'm trying to give my mind relief by thinking he broke up with me

and since we were broken up i can sleep with whoever that's bullshit i know i know i'm the asshole but how big of an asshole am i and should i even tell him um i personally think ignorance is bliss oh and more context when we broke up we both agreed at the end of summer we will get back together and decide at the end of the summer we will get together and decide if we will get together and decide if we should get back together i don't know how he feels now but at the moment i could tell he wants to i don't oh okay okay you're not the asshole you were not the asshole for sleeping with that guy but you shouldn't have gone over to his house after yeah you're it's okay you up with the guy you're allowed to sleep with a guy you weren't with anyone but you shouldn't

have gone over to his house after i don't really understand why he's he said you could sleep over and then in the morning said like i didn't say that yeah okay so that's where it gets weird i say you should oh man that stinks um you're not the asshole the only thing i think you did wrong was or that you did wrong in the sense that you're an assholes you shouldn't have gone to his house after you banged another guy i will say i don't think you guys had the healthiest like split no it doesn't sound like you did a good job breaking up you should have when you break up you should give it a lot of time before you hang out as friends yeah and so i think that's giving like mixed signals but oh man why'd you go to his house after you banged another guy that's

so so wild that would make me feel so icky if i found out that someone did that to me yeah don't tell him don't fucking definitely don't tell him don't tell him yeah no way yeah no you're fine though now i mean we all make we all make mistakes you just gotta keep that fucking bear i would even try and forget about that yourself forget about what exactly bury that deep deep down and how to come out uh with a future boyfriend uh during a fight and yell take all that anger out on him for no reason yeah i feel like she still likes her ex i know but you shouldn't have you shouldn't have gone but she's now she's saying he wants to get back there and she doesn't you definitely can't get back together i'm like i feel like you need to face the fact

that you still want him i think maybe like way down the line you could maybe reconsider but i also think like you guys didn't do a very you didn't do a very good job breaking up and then in the fact that you guys hung out like the days following yeah but also the like we'll get back together at the end of the summer and reconsider is not healthy because it's not giving either of you guys time to move on i would say you have to not get back together with them and you have to definitely not tell me bang that other guy also if they know each other the two guys you should make sure that he that that never comes to light sounds like he might have been like a rando yeah oh man i'm sorry that happened you shouldn't have gone over to his house though that's the only

thing i think that's the only thing you did wrong yeah i agree and you just going forward if you ever break up with someone clean clean break don't don't hang out the day after and don't do the birthday thing yeah that was a crazy one i like that one yeah that was that was that was a crazy one all right should we do this guy rocks this guy i sent you a fire one this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard it's rocks in my heart is uh the guy this guy rocks is the guy walking in front of the camera okay part of the beast is the must-see adventure of the year it's just you and me boy one of the most extraordinary on-screen barge you'll ever see i'll get you home brad pitt

part of the beast september 25th get tickets now we've all wanted to do it i mean what the hell could have possibly just happened there is that not insane let's run through the possibilities he he just came from a red socks game where they got fucking smoked and he doesn't want to hear it i think that guy stole his wife i would say yeah the guy i'd have to know more about it but i would say the guy the guy with the acoustic guitar is typically my go-to for like the bad guy not all the time but in this situation right and i think or what if what if the guys played it like four fucking times so enough or maybe a yankees fan yeah it's probably a yankees fan i would say

there's got to be more to the story and that i'm siding with the guy that flipped him because i can't imagine that someone would crash out like that unless that guy deserved it yeah unless it was like a roy on jim thing maybe war was valid for that yeah jim started fucking his wife yeah i like to think that they were like boys and he's like one of those guys was like trying to impress the hives like yeah like being like overly like that's my boy yeah yeah he got back up there he's like you goober you are too much i'll see you at home yeah i love you that's my boy all right let's see uh let's see andrew pauses immediately and i mean immediately okay pause this is a kid they're in high school and uh there's a there's a uh

younger looking kid with a like blue sippy cup that has a very very light liquid in it and one of the older kids saying something to him let's see how it goes i'm gonna lie bro lock in bro i'm drinking milk out of a sippy cup that's not coffee it's coffee why is white i'm gonna lie bro lock in bro i'm drinking milk out of a sippy cup that's it that's not coffee pause it pause it pause it that is he had that answer ready to i think he was probably he probably usually uses like a non-see-through cup i mean dude the way starbucks lattes are yeah sometimes that shit do look like milk there's so there's something it's a coffee

not a milkshake you know if you get a venti instead of a grande i'm pretty sure they just add milk if for latte oh they don't add any more espresso they just add more milk oh it's weird i There was something so funny about him being like, lock in, bruh. You drinking milk? It's coffee. It's not. Why is it white? He just doesn't say anything.

He just kind of like fiddles with it. Reminds me of my history class one time. The teacher was like, congratulations to Annabelle. You got the best grade in the class. And she turns to me. She goes, I take tests better when I'm drunk. And I go, what? And she hands me her water bottle.

It's full of wine. wait in college in high school oh my god yeah we were we were juniors in high school we were like was she a smart kid no oh what oh yeah she just this was like a one fluke she takes tests better when she's drunk i guess damn i respect that liquid confidence i would say i used to sit next to this kid named thomas in a physics class and he would be drinking jack daniels in a water bottle jesus holy shit he works construction now yeah he's so i think he's also and he also is um a drug dealer yes all right you do teach me something uh have you guys ever heard about the pinstripe code that bankers used to have uh no so can you picture like

a pinstripe suit can you picture a pinstripe suit andrew can you yes yes all right so you know they're like different patterned and like widths of pinstripes like they can be wider they can be diagonal or whatever bankers uh each company had their own like style of pinstripe so if you were in a room with a bunch or a bunch of bankers were in a room together they could tell like that guy works at this firm this guy works at that firm and it was like the secret thing okay and so they could tell if someone was like not part of this like upper echelon of society because they'd be wearing the wrong code so they would just get a suit because they thought it was fashionable but it wasn't representative of like i had to be like a specific one yeah and so they

would know who was a fraud and who was not that's very fascinating yeah pull up like the andrew google like the pinstripe code pinstripe banker code just click on the top left video that's the one i watched so we just you guys can learn so it's just this guy saying old london bankers had a secret dress code and it was designed to keep you out in old school london banking pinstripes weren't fashioned they were code each bank had its own stripe spacing bearings rothschilds yeah but you saw that those were like the different banks isn't that fascinating yeah interesting i was here you don't know mine how much you think we bought so we bought alaska from russia yeah like 1867 i think how much do you think it cost uh forty thousand dollars alaska

yeah oh no in the 1800s four hundred thousand dollars wasn't like all of louisiana was forty 400 000 i don't know how much louisiana was it was seven million dollars in 18 what 60 or night no would i say is it 18 or 19 it was the 1900s so now that i'm thinking about it that makes a lot more sense 1867 i was right yeah andrew google how much did louis but you just like fucked my teacher or something oh sorry you asked me to guess too low was i split you wanted me to be like a hundred million i mean dude seven million dollars for alaska that that's how much a house costs in malibu yeah yeah it's equivalent to 130 million even that 100 130 million is still cheap as hell for alaska bro it's the biggest state i'm sorry you shouldn't have asked me to guess

i know i'm really okay google how much was louisiana i think it was 400 000 like the louisiana purchase 15 million so now you say you're sorry i'm sorry because that was earlier too so now it would be like way more i know i know i'm surprised more billionaires like don't buy like islands and i know wait i know there's one guy i did i think it like usually goes pretty well too like they don't get like power hungry and like a sense of lawlessness and like that they can do whatever they want lawless jack lawless how many what do you think was you know they said they were going to release the epstein list what do you think what do you think was on it that they were like no take a while no i have no guesses i'm saying

like okay sorry let me refuse that how many times because he probably was like if i want it once or twice we can really sit and be like yeah you like i went and i didn't like best friends i know i'm saying okay how many times you think he went where they were like we can't defend this i mean i'm sure he's probably been there hundreds of times apparently he met melania through epstein oh man dude going that is so funny that like he was like we'll release it i just can't believe at what point was he allowing people around him to be like yeah we're gonna release those files like because he had to have known no it's like when you it's like when you think you've had like a pretty like responsible month spending and then you see your you see your thing you're like oh my

god i spent that he probably was like i can defend like five times and then he got the list and he was like i went 500 times yeah yeah yeah it's one of the most it's remarkable how many times people around him were like we're gonna put those when we get in power we're gonna release the epstein files like he must have every time still been like no that's man maybe we're i really i would like i i bet like if the day came where they were supposed to do it and he had like one final look over of it he was like oh my god what yeah i went that many times it's like when we get in power we're gonna release will's credit card statements i'm like yeah yeah and then i get i look i'm like holy fuck that uber was 70 dollars it reminds me of those two tiktok guys that like create beef

and like the one guy will be like me and all the workers here are gonna kick your ass yeah they're like whoa i'm not like guys at walmart they're like i'm not gonna kick his ass oh man that's funny have you seen the video of of trump and epstein watching like girls dance yeah and they're like like someone someone like did like a lip reading of it it was trump just being like i think he just goes like damn damn or is it like they were just having like guy creepy guy talk yeah watching girls dance as as that as that what am i the fuck am i talking about i don't know should we do our dress yeah what the hell why do you guys let me just do that i don't know sometimes i'm just like trains running no sense in throwing a bomb on the tracks these are

rom-coms that don't exist a guy goes to his sister's wedding and gives this really good speech and all the women at the wedding are kind of fawning over him and uh it's a buffet style food thing and this girl is going to grab the last piece of chicken and he kind of grabs it without looking and so they now have this feud she hates him she's the only girl at the wedding that doesn't like him fast forward a month later they both live in new york city uh he's out at a restaurant and uh sees her get stood up on a date and so he has the waiter bring her over a piece of chicken and he goes down he's like hey i'm sorry i took that chicken from you at the wedding and they fall in love i like that a lot i do like that uh christmas lights a guy has a meet cute

with a girl at a christmas like holiday light show but it's the last day of the holiday light show he doesn't get her number and but she mentions that her and her family come every year so he spends the entire next year thinking about her doesn't know how to get in touch but knows that her and her family go to the lights show every year so the next year he goes to the lights show every single night waiting for her until she finally shows up and he makes his move and they fall in love maybe he like puts his number in lights no it's my fucking script um addicted to you a man starts going to aa uh for drug abuse and starts meeting with a counselor daily uh starts meeting with a counselor daily to talk about his progress of getting sober at the

end of every session she asks him if he thinks he's still addicted and after 25 sessions he says girl the only thing i'm addicted to is you and she drops him as a patient and they fall in love what have you done yeah i like that i don't think you liked it i did like it what do you think that you think that one's good how about this tandem a guy goes to rent a bike to bike over the golden gate bridge and they only have tandem bikes left so him and the girl behind him in line at the bike rental store must tandem bike over the golden gate bridge i love it they fall in love how is how long is the movie 10 minutes it's a feature though it's in theaters a boy and girl are in middle school together and they despise each other she's kind of like a know

it all brainiac and he's you know a jock athlete that doesn't take school very seriously she moves away and when it's time to move in at harvard uh she sees him moving in on her floor he got in on a full football scholarship uh she thinks that he didn't earn it because he never tried in school and he was just good enough at football to get in and so he starts trying in school to to earn her respect and finally she goes on a date with them and they fall in love a woman falls in love with this super of her building and every time she clogs the toilet he has to come fix it and she they they're having these what have you done this already keep going i want to see if it's the same thing she has to keep dropping monster dumps so that i pitched this one already

fuck i missed this one already it was about a guy who falls in love with a lady plumber and uh and so to keep seeing her he's eating the crazy meals so he keeps nuking the toilet and she has to come over and unclog it oh the mind is a beautiful thing well i think do we do you write yours on the toilet when you're taking your morning grumpy yeah yeah damn it um these are the hottest pet names for your boyfriend or girlfriend punkle chachki slinky the prison guard scooper the enforcer frog big shitter keeper of the wand crunkle you're only right three no i wrote more than i just didn't even like binge or loopy crinkle wait i've got one that's a crazy noise was that not that crazy all right time for rusty's song of the day

make it hurt we got down in mexico and i really it's a nice little play on you'd actually like this little play on words he's talking about how his friends call him at like three in the morning and they're like hey we're down in fucking tijuana get your ass down here and he's talking about how when he got there he realized how happy everyone is and he's like can you really be down in mexico i like that like no matter how no no matter how far south you go can you really be down it down in mexico i like that i here's something fun i wanted to share i like you remember that thing when we were like what is that like till it's backwards yeah i've read from a comment i get it now yeah i think i knew i think i had known this too but i forgot but it's like so it'd be

like free rusty till it's backwards and then once it's backwards i mean rusty free like rusty's free oh like free something tilts backwards meaning like blanks free oh yeah okay it makes sense makes sense man all right let's let's wrap up this podcast till it's backwards come on we love you guys have a great rest of your wednesday have a great weekend and we will see you bright and early on monday for our monday episode 5 a.m pacific we'll see you there Thanks for watching!