Will & Rusty's Playdate - how an optimus robot destroyed will's campsite

Episode Date: October 16, 2024

Will and Rusty dive into the Optimus robots, a bee nightmare, and the worst things to say on a first date. They also explore 2010s music, Willy’s a**hole neighbor in Joshua Tree, and a hidden gem podcast Rusty discovered. To top it off, the boys draft wild conspiracy theories that don’t exist and the absolute worst things to say on a first date. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod GET 20% OFF @CHUBBIES WITH THE CODE PLAYDATE AT https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/PLAYDATE #chubbiespod JOIN US IN DRINKING FIREBALL DURING OUR GAME DAYS THIS SEASON https://www.fireballwhisky.com/. MUST BE 21+. GO TO HTTPS://WWW.LUCY.CO/FRIDAY AND USE PROMO CODE FRIDAY FOR 20% OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER. WARNING: THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS NICOTINE. NICOTINE IS AN ADDICTIVE CHEMICAL. VISIT THE FUNKAWAY STORE ON WWW.AMAZON.COM AND CLICK ON ALMOST FRIDAY TO SAVE. DON’T JUST MASK ODORS, ELIMINATE THEM. (00:00) Intro (04:58) Middle School Dances (08:39) Wasp Nightmare (18:06) Episode 59 (20:05) Waymo (21:18) Tesla Robots (26:42) The Worst Cybertruck Driver Ever (38:28) Roadmap (41:37) Camping in Joshua Tree (47:19) Egging (50:45) Pitch Submissions (01:02:20) Pitches (01:08:24) This Guy Rocks (01:13:08) Teach Me Something (01:15:43) Worst Things to Say on a Date (01:18:09) Conspiracy Theories that Don’t Exist (01:22:11) Whose Personality are you Stealing? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, when I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh, then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my head of office has a forever setting. An IG Private Wealth Advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IGPrivateWealth.com.

hear that it's your money calling it wants a promotion elevate your savings with the scotia high interest savings account always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest conditions apply visit scotiabank.com slash hisa to learn more scotia bank you're richer than you think. Lauren's chomping on a meat stick again. I had an idea. Oh. I was just,

before we got onto that, I was going to say the meat thing. Have you seen that etiquette guy that's like, this is like how you eat like pommes frites. And you're like, French fries are for common people, but like if you must eat them,

then, you haven't seen this guy? No. He's awesome. Do you know what he's talking about? i was gonna say um um something about like someone maybe in the context of like you're eating a salad or something uh you like you're talking french dressing but it ain't paris fashion week oh nice it was just like a play on words i thought of earlier yeah i don't really know the

vessel of that i think it has to come out in a rap battle should it be in a rap battle yeah time you can use it yeah this ain't yeah but i don't know what is french dressing i don't really this is the first time hearing of it i've heard stress i know it's i know it's like orange it's orange and it tastes like kind of sweet i've heard of italian dressing oh yeah wait till you try french oh okay yes i have seen this so is this the one that you dip your like fries in or is a salad not me i put it on a salad okay yeah i'm talking french dressing but it ain't paris fashion week i think we can workshop it but like the idea is wearing nice pants yeah but you still ain't as hot as me okay keep it going okay maybe not hot it's not not that you're not hot excuse

me just like i feel like you could do a better word okay all right well fly as me yes we need to bring back and fly i'm fly as hell dude i haven't met someone like a g6 oh yeah that song is like the sickest song really well i think in the i don't know in the grand scheme of like sick songs i think like a g6 is probably not even in my top thousand sickest songs oh it's in mine this feels like where does it asu podcast right now yeah no that's sickest song dude that song is so sick like it is okay but i'm also just thinking about little like younger me too you're listening to that and be like oh yeah this is this is good we had a guy we were hanging out with a guy a few weeks ago i'll spare details to protect his anonymity but he he just had like a

series of like like lines that were just like npc comments and one was uh someone said i said something about wake me up by avicii he's like dude that is one of that is one of those songs and it was just kind of like a room clearing that is one of the that is a song dude oh that's one of those songs i love that song it is i like we know what he meant but it's just like the way he delivered in the music video is sick too yeah yeah i don't know if i've seen it well i've recently listened to this uh dylan gossett actually told me that lovely man this band shane smith and the saints was really good you told me to check it out and uh their their hit song i forget what it's called but it sounds exactly like

wake me up it was wait what can i play a song on this yeah but i don't understand so like are you just are you just saying that they ripped him off or it's a complete i think they actually ripped it off so did dylan send this to you being like take a look is you yeah take a look at this like these guys ripped him off or he was like no no he was like you're gonna love these guys if you like the kind like i was telling the bands i like yeah he was like oh you should listen to shane i think they're an austin band yeah ah fuck you gavin newsom get out of here i see that guy's handsome mug more than i see him every time i open youtube yeah i don't know anything about his politics but i hate seeing him

so far does not sound like a vidget Oh, yeah It's the exact same melody Yeah, that's horseshit That's horseshit I mean, it's a great song It is, but You know what happens

There's probably a lot of songs They probably These guys probably weren't big you know edm guys and like stumbled into like the same melody or knew it in the back of their head yeah or they were just like he's gone like what is he i mean quite honestly because this is more my genre of music than like avicii stuff i enjoy this more than you can enjoy the melody through like a vessel like i'm glad yeah exactly but uh what was what was like the when you guys were had dances as kids what was like the song that like the slow song that it would end on

do you remember no i what i remember is like in eighth grade we had a dance it was like everyone got to pick a song or something or no i was in like one down i was like an eight hour eight hour dance yeah or like ever get some i don't know i was in like sixth grade or something and the eighth graders really liked uh let me guess let me guess uh little john no you're you could guess it though you could guess the song i'm about to say okay uh replay by is show goes on by lupe fiasco yep that i replay by is was kind of close to yeah lupe fiasco yep and uh they they like that and i knew that modest mouse song float on yep which the show goes on is basically what shane smith did the avicii for the show goes on is oh my god all right already the

show goes on i think that was supposed that was intentional correct i don't think i think that was like a licensed like interpolation or whatever the word but uh i thought i was cool for knowing like the modest mouse one yep so i i was telling like the guys about it and then like boys you know this is a sample yeah i was telling like joseph bolchez about it and shit and uh and so then i put it on the playlist and then i remember like it came on at the dance it was float on which is a terrible terrible song for a dance i don't know i think that that's kind of cool i guess but it's kind of like what do you what move are you doing like oh yeah you've got it you've really got to let loose yeah so i was like guys this is it this is like i got on the plate like yeah

it was the only way to get for me to get these guys to hear it they're like these guys fucking and they were like and they i just remember they'd be like oh okay yeah awesome and i was like fuck yeah this was like i was thinking about that here's the question why were you at a why were you at an eighth grade man this is a sixth grader i was dude i was like them i was a playboy back then i went to a tiny school there were 13 kids in my grade so they had to do them all together we're like did the did the room was the room still the size of like a normal high school or normal middle school dance room or was it like did they did they scale the room down because there was only like 20 of you uh no well no but i'm saying they they did like the whole it was

like the whole k-8 school or it was like fourth through eighth or something you look over there's like literally they were like it's like a kindergarten like grinding on like a senior you're like whoa cool it uh but yeah no it was dude i was those are some crazy i'd wear like i went to like catholic school again wear like a uniform and like wear like a tie every day and shit we uh we would end our dances on stairway to heaven yeah and what's interesting about stairway to heaven is it starts out as a slow song but it like you know turns faster towards the end and so the line was always we it was always hard to judge like okay when do we stop slow dancing right and uh uh julia julia like uh bleep her last name but first like dance that i

remember to stairway to heaven and i just misremembered when it went to fast yeah i was like so nervous and i just said um all right thank you like in the middle of the slow part because i thought it was about to get fast and i walked away and uh walked out of the gym and got my mom's car i think you handled that correctly yeah we talked about it like years later and she was like i don't remember that but it was like it was like a haunting memory for me that's funny dude i had a um a bee nightmare you want to hear about my bee nightmare please wow sounds awful maybe a wasp nightmare yeah actually just an all-around nightmare so on friday night i went i went camping on saturday but on friday night i was just chilling here

and uh i think you guys were at jameson's for not you but you you and i were together right nope i was okay i was at a show and you guys we were all at the office and then i left and you called me though at like 1 a.m i just didn't answer sorry killer guy i was throwing out throwing out phone calls um i called lauren three times this weekend and she picked up none of them that's fucked up um it's awesome but yeah we the whole office was at jameson's we were all like taking shots like people had started to dwindle down to like a core like six of us towards the end of the night but yeah i spent most of the weekend at jameson's shocking that's terrifying i know i hadn't been to jameson's in like a year and then i spent two days in a row there

but sorry continue but no we were at that night we were here at it was just me and scott and um and then jerry and lauren came eventually but we were just hanging out having a fire jerry and lauren came no not his his girlfriend oh um i was like lauren's not picking my phone she's like yeah he's at my fire no but we were having a fire so we started a fire first time having a fire on our patio what could go wrong oh i heard this conversation over facetime oh yeah so we're having a cool fire which is normally cool it was our first one i was excited about it yep uh teeper and dylan come over they left jameson's to come hang out awesome and they come in but and uh what did you say i said i didn't didn't hear about this yeah well it was it was

a it was sort of a you had to know someone type of thing uh dylan and matt get here matt sits down we're all hanging out good vibes for about 30 seconds matt starts going freaking out jumping up i'm like what is going on a wasp had flown up his jeans it was inside his jeans like like oh uh stuck him twice finally got it out he had to take his pants off to get how far did it make it up his pants uh no it was like one here and one here so it was but then he took his whole pants off so he's like dancing around our yard in his underwear he took his whole pants off like yeah there was an option we had those cargo shorts that would zip off in the pants matt took the bottom half of his pants off but anyways so matt was dancing around in his underwear

and we're like what's going on and then we realize this there's like this hornet's nest that i was like vaguely aware of up in like the roof but like i didn't really worry it hadn't bothered us i think the smoke from the fire was like smoking them out of their own nest literally like the thing they hate the most yeah so they were they once like that happened that we start looking around and they're everywhere so then dylan starts going to kill him one stings dylan wait why was his knee jerk like i need to terminate all of it like i don't know it was a little sadistic he was getting like a hot a metal rod really hot and then touch him and go like and you would like watch him burn jesus christ um yeah it was fucked up dylan walker dylan walker

he turned it he flipped the switch he went to like he was that's how we find out he's a full-blown wasp terrorist that night wait that feels like that feels like that method of killing them they would get you much more often than you would get them no they don't see the guy with the fucking cattle prod and be like that guy's i mean i don't think they're like looking and scheming they're just kind of like sitting there and they're like but they got teepers penis they didn't get his penis bro they got teepers it wasn't a big enough target yeah aho get anyway but that was before the anyway moral of the story is the smoke is happening and so like then all of a sudden we realize it's like a full-blown wasp nightmare they're everywhere they're like everywhere you

look they're there we're like all kind of afraid to do a wasp while the wasp nightmare is coming we hear a fire alarm start going off smoke alarm like oh my god i go inside our smoke alarm's not going off guess what i realize the smoke is going up in our neighbor's window and setting the smoke alarm off for the upstairs unit who we don't know uh and they sounded cool so did they just have their doors and windows open they had their window open that was up above our fireplace that i didn't even really think did they come outside no what the hell so nothing we heard we heard them like close the window and then eventually it shut off but for like we were laughing i was like the two most anxiety inducing things possible are wasps and alarms and

It was just like all at once. We're surrounded by wasps, alarms going off. Yeah. I was saying, what's next? Spiders and taxes? Hear that? It's your money calling. It wants a promotion.

Elevate your savings with the Scotia High Interest Savings Account. Always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest. Conditions apply. visit scotiabank.com slash h-i-s-a to learn more scotiabank you're richer than you think so i was on facetime with will and he um it was the next morning we were going out to our car loading up for joshua tree he uh was like he ran into them while he was on facetime and he just didn't hang up and so now i'm like sitting here and he talked to them for like 10 minutes to who i missed the neighbors smoke alarm off and so i'm just sitting there like very awkwardly like

watching him have a conversation what did he prop did he prop the phone up no he was holding it down and he was kind of on fire he like handled it very well i think they were they were cool about it i hope they don't hate us i don't know we haven't really talked to them or have any relationship but i i don't know i don't think we're nightmares but maybe my cousin michael rolled over a wasp nest when we were kids rolled over like i guess some of them like burrow in the ground like like rolled on his back like barrel like he was rolling around in the grass we were like nine oh and it we rolled around and they all got in his pants oh my god and they were stinging his like penis and butt oh and p and b and so he ran inside same thing took his pants off but then they were all like

flying around the house and uh they just like decimated his little penis and uh little well we were like nine like he like like i don't know i believe it did like some serious i remember looking at it be like oh oh and uh yeah and then now i'm like terror i didn't realize that they they could be in the ground so that was like a whole new fear yeah i didn't know that either really um yeah i hate those things one time i went to moosehead moosehead lake lake yep and i got stung by two bees i've never well in a porta potty oh like mid crap mid piss okay did you finish the get out there fast i don't remember it was all blur i want my cousins never my cousins would go on this like camping trip to moosehead lake every year uh and they it was very exclusive

no denellans ever made the cut they're they're second cousins okay so no denellans ever made the cut and i scored an invite one year to the moosehead camping trip how'd you how'd you pull that you know i was in favor with baby bobby uh who's baby bobby he's my cousin that's my age okay and he was like i need will this year no we were just like tight i think at that point i was spending a lot of time with the family and uh they invited me which was really nice i was very excited but you know it was a i was the first danellen on the slattery camping trip i had to make a good impression and uh yeah before we even got there we slattery yeah are they from vermont no is one of them named shamus no okay continue um so we is it's like guess who

so we were yeah before we even get to the campsite we pulled over at this like little bathroom thing and i got stung by two bees so i'm already like bad i'm on thin ice then we get out on the lake take a canoe out i flip the canoe with my cousins and all our stuff inside of it totally my fault it was just a day all around bad showing i've never been no danelle has ever been invited back yeah yep i toasted it for everyone i toasted it um did i ever tell you the the canoe story about snowboarding rick robinson canoe was that you what oh no go ahead it's robinson canoe i don't know uh i think i i think you taught i think you said this on last episode okay yeah i remember snowboarding right yeah oh yes yeah yeah all right guys quick shout

out to our partner fireball fireball whiskey is the perfect shot for game day whether you're grabbing some of those sneaky little shooters before going into the stadium or going big with the fireball keg for your party whether it's a pre-game shot in the tailgate lot or a celebratory touchdown shot at the bar no matter the method fireball is guaranteed to ignite your game day Honestly, I think the best time to take a fireball shot is right after Kai Robichaux takes it to the house for Boston College Football. We had a bye week. You guys know about this bet we've been doing. There's a lot of things that make football great, but the best thing is beating your rival.

We unfortunately did not do that a few weeks ago, but Fireball wants to provide an extra spark moving forward. So we have this bet going with Lauren. Boston College wins ACC. She has to run the gauntlet. If they don't, then we have to get her cake with her face on it. bad loss two weeks ago gonna buy this week i think they regrouped really well uh so i think that we are going to kind of bounce back i'm excited to see what happens and uh every time we score a touchdown you know what i'll be doing it starts with ph and it ends with iron ball

shooter fireballs iconic cinnamon flavor tastes fire and goes down easy making it the ultimate crowd pleaser go pick up some from your local liquor store and join us in drinking fireball during our game days this season let's get back into the episode we didn't do the thing where we do a number oh okay 59 59 yeah um um show me uh um no wait i'm gonna get one wait no no no i'm gonna wait wait 59 wait wait i'm thinking of that one there's a hockey player that's 59 i know i'm thinking of like uh some sort of big defenseman laurence went to google.com she googled google.com you googled google i've never seen anyone you went to google.com well yeah because i was just on this before yeah but you can google in the search i know i just for some reason wanted this

um she's feeling lucky i'm going to do i'm going to go with um jennifer aniston fuck okay i'm gonna go with uh wait wait wait don't say anything don't the other randy jackson which one is the other one which everyone's 59 all right fine no 68 alright the other one Bobby Orr that's not even close

search Bobby Orr I think you wore 9 didn't you ah he's 76 he wore number 4 yeah um

alright should we uh should we road map it up are we just gonna give up wait no we gotta find someone who's 59 I don't think we have to

wait jermaine edwards jermaine edwards jermaine edwards yeah for the bears jermaine edwards he was 49 49 god damn it close sherry oh okay this game sucks here's a here's a question this game fucking sucks so last night i'm driving home and there's a waymo you know the driverless waymo i know waymo yeah so there's a waymo behind me also they've been multiplying they're everywhere by the day there's like a million and yes there's one behind me i pull up to the stoplight there's no other cars like in the vicinity and i was thinking if i just stopped and waited there for like five minutes would they do

you think they would honk at me you'd say hey get out of my way mo they bang uh have you seen them trying to park themselves no they they're all in one lot and they will like honk at each other and like they this is just like one video of them yeah but like yeah they have they have the ability to honk and there's this like one parking lot where they can't figure out how to park because there's

so many of them and so they're all honking at each other and it's like or what if I just started reversing would it start reversing it would back up yeah I don't think it would yes it would you think it would just take a hit or if I slammed into it would it like

it would get out and be like what the hell what are you doing are you blind no i think they i think they're pretty good actually i think they're probably better than most people that driving oh did you guys see uh elon's new robots yeah dude what's up with that crunk you see what you see where it was checking like ids yeah so that's not a that's definitely a real guy talking right no the the voice where he's like hi how are you well they record a guy but it's like no it's not a real guy how many phrases you have to well they like you know they can do like ai like you could do anyone it sounded like there was another guy on the other end no it was like they recorded a guy

saying a bunch of they were at a bar and they're and they're like yeah what's your favorite drink he's like hmm it sounded if we have those like it took did you see how long it took him to pour like a paloma it's like 45 seconds and it's like at that point if there's no bartender just letting me do the drink yeah you were like all like i'll have a margarita and he's like sure thing coming right up and like moves like so slow to grab the glass and then like probably needs more gasoline or something yeah they all run on like like crude oil well did you see the video of black smoke coming out of the back of them two chains was there dude there's an awesome video it's like hey man i'm two chains oh he said it to the robot yeah and he's like hi the robot's like awesome

I love that song Good Drank he offers to teach the robot how to hoop just do that bottom oh no down that down that yo man

I'm 2 Chainz hey buddy how you doing man that's a guy talking it's nice to meet you i mean i can't tell if you're doing a do you actually think it's a guy it's not a guy there's surely a guy talking in there that is a human's voice it's do you not have you not seen like ai covers and stuff like they can simulate a human voice but why wouldn't they pick like a

like that is that's a normal they would pick like a more normal voice they wouldn't have like what are you talking about like are you trying he has like a lit no he has like a lisp like they wouldn't they would like the robot is it can you all okay someone goes why are they giving that lame-ass boy basketball can you shoot like jump shots maybe one day i'll teach you don't hear that it's like a maybe one day that's not what he said what are you talking about they wouldn't they wouldn't make the robots you heard it yeah what are you you wouldn't they wouldn't make the robot sound like a fucking idiot if they if it wasn't a real guy you actually think it's a real guy you're wrong you're categorically wrong i don't think you know that i do know that

why would they make him sound like unless they're lying to all of us what did he say he wasn't talking like that what did he say again he was not talking like that he was like i like to shoot he wasn't talking like that play it again the guy sounds like a fucking moron all right man you like the west yaga i got an outfit for you really yeah i got outfit for you really no that's really cool i got an outfit for you okay he doesn't have the coolest voice but he doesn't they made him sound like a fucking moron if you're gonna make a if you're gonna make a robot you would give it like a cool voice so so instead you think they hired a guy who i think the robots weren't ready in time and elon was like this is a good solution there's

No way. Oh, I'm crying. I don't think I'm wrong. You're wrong. I think it's going to come out. I'll bet you a dollar. It would make him have a fucking list. I'll bet you a dollar.

Okay. And 50 cents. Well, how are we going to ever... What's... Guy who can't make a spitting noise. What's... What's... Hawk to a...

Oh, I heard a funny Hawk to a story. Not to... This girl... This girl was telling me that her roommate brought a guy home. and you like that part all right it gets so much better if you like that part of the story you're gonna love the middle in the end uh she said that uh her roommate brought a guy home and it was like right when the hawk tour thing like started and he like unironically asked her if she would hawk tour on it and she said she kicked him out like immediately and the guy the roommate saw my friend

saw the guy like leave like in a hurry and she was like oh my god like he must have like you know done something like horrible and she asked the roommate like why did that guy leave so quickly and she goes he unironically asked me if i would hock tua dude i'm when is since when are they cracking down on being a guy uh this used to be this used to be a country of men forgive the man for wanting a little hock tua yeah have you seen the video it's cringe that's cringe that video's cringe just she's an international superstar doing that as a cringe she's an international superstar you're right she deserves it i wonder how her podcast is going it's like the third most popular podcast in the world oh really isn't that insane oh my god behind us and it's literally like

it was like next it was like next to joe rogan last time i looked is that what do you we gotta get on it i know we're not even fucking close to joe rogan oh speaking of tesla yep or elon monks uh he we were at so i was camping in j j tracy joshua tree you might call it of course uh saturday night drove up saturday get there like 1 30 saturday set up the tent just kind of chilling on the rocks we're listening to some music i was listening to a little wax a hatchie vibes were good uh tesla cyber truck comes up into like there's like basically like the part where we park there's like four parking spots and then four campsites in our life there in my head this was like the wild west i didn't realize that there was any like

no yeah because they have like a fire pit and like a grill at every campsite and then there's like a place to put you have to pay yes 25 bucks that's completely reasonable super easy for the night for the night yeah for total like for the for any number of people that are there um anyway so but we're there's like a hundred campsites at this like particular part but like where our little section is so but anyway once the truck is coming in that means it's going to be one of the four people that are like closest to us and uh it goes to park doesn't park in the parking spot drives straight through the parking part trampling plants and wildlife like we are you don't like we're just sitting there chilling like in a beautiful national park like watching the sunset

and this cyber truck comes in initially we're like all right fuck this our neighbors have a cyber truck they probably suck already they're like glamping or something guy just fucking plowing through trees and bushes no like it was the most insane thing i've ever seen most reckless disregard for like the sanctity of a national park i have ever seen so it was unbelievable just trap like trampling shit straight to his campsite like you're not supposed to drive right up to the campsite like you park oh and then you walk 30 feet to your campsite and he just fucking drives right to it hey so it's like drilling for oil yeah everyone at the other campsites like what the hell so we all like i get down off the rocks and meet up with this other

lady and we go we're like what are you doing buddy like you can't be driving and i was like oh so you talked to him the other lady was actually talking i went down like i was like that's the funniest thing i've ever seen because like coming up we're like oh god cyber truck what's he gonna do and then he does the worst possible thing yeah the other lady was like these are protected plants she was like mortified i guess they had his rationale they were not american they were like clearly like visiting from somewhere uh so they had no idea what was going on and uh apparently he had like uh what was that i was just like you're like yelling at him he's like what anyway apparently they had like some sort of pop-up thing in the back of

the cyber truck like pops up into a tent so they thought they could just drive right up to the campsite it was just crazy it was so i don't know what country they were from but they that must be a lawless lawless land because it was insanity and uh they have a hot girl left right back over all the plants and uh oh immediately did it again i mean they had no choice they can't there's no way out oh no i'm saying like like he he was already there why not just because like they would get like in huge trouble oh okay park ranger saw that like they'd be like was there any way to drive just on sand or was it oh i mean there was like a path for like walking but it was a cyber truck yeah what did his girlfriend look like i didn't really get a good look at her but it was

two of them and they just he had two girlfriends no no it was him and a girlfriend i didn't get a good look at him but there were two of them there were two he drove out and then they never came back oh well i guess if you plan on sleeping in the cyber truck you don't want to sleep in the parking spot yeah i mean yeah i guess yeah it was just crazy it was crazy it was insane sicko mode it was sicko mode it was stinko travis scott was there travis scott put up the cooper uh but yeah it was cool we had code names for a trip i was captain slug why is that i don't know just thought it's not a fun you're hanging out with teeper too much no teeper loves saying slug no i wasn't i was only hanging out with him for 30 seconds he left after he got stung i didn't even hang

out with him all right later boys later boys all right my balls my balls is hot um yeah i went to pioneer town yesterday how was that if you did you ever go i don't know i've done i've never even heard of that place yeah no you were gonna do a how cool there for a while oh it's like in meetings where they were talking yeah that was like the first that was like like a year ago yeah i never ended up going no is it cool it's cool it's small but it's reminds me of rango you fucking you and rango man it was like is that on the way to joshua tree uh i mean it's it's near there yeah we stopped on the way back what's that saloon yeah we went got tacos at this saloon and uh i mean like breakfast tacos and i got a coca-cola i heard

old western saloons they used to they used to serve breakfast tacos I'm glad it's authentic there's no way the breakfast taco has been invented in the last 8 years that's a big Tex-Mex thing

I would bet I would bet a lot of money that they haven't been around for more than 100 years breakfast tacos? yeah wrong let's look it up when

I mean The early 1900s So I was right Nope you weren't You said they haven't been around for more than 100 years Yeah the early 1900s would be More than 100 years ago No it wouldn't

It's 2024 Yeah so the early 1900s It literally says around 1950 Before spreading to Texas Around 1950 So the early 1900s is you know 1901 to to 1930 so i was so 90 of that is no but we have no idea we have no idea of knowing yeah but like statistically it's more likely no it's not no it's not you gave the

range a 20 you gave a 30-year range that only five of the years are within your range anyway uh i think you know okay well if they weren't in if they weren't in the old west saloons and they weren't in america who said they were in america i did because they would be there weren't any old west saloons in mexico those would be old mexican saloons i was saying like the old west yeah i mean i don't know they definitely were not drinking breakfast tacos or eating breakfast they weren't drinking anything yeah they were eating yep um when is a breakfast burrito invented Now that's where it gets interesting That's where it gets dicey

I'm gonna say the 70s Yep Probably the 70s Alright Whatever dude I don't even fucking care anymore There's a They have a

They have a goat That's the mayor Of Pioneertown Speaking of goats I went to the pumpkin patch yesterday And I saw real life goats Say it Wait what?

The mayor of Pioneertown's a goat What? Oh, actually? Yeah. Wait, what just happened? I don't know. Also, why'd you say real? You were saying real life like I was talking about a fake goat.

No, I know. I think Lauren didn't realize goats were... I thought she put them... No, I was just... She thought goats were like mythical? No, no. I saw real life goats. Okay, I was just saying that to add words.

I don't know whether... And I saw donkeys and I saw alpacas. Were they also picking pumpkins or... No. And I saw... What were they doing there if they weren't picking... They were just in little... They were just loitering?

well they were just in their little like zones there was a petting zoo on the way you saw goat he was fucking in the zone dude oh no there was one on top of a truck there was one on like the the what do you call it on what's the front of a truck the hood the hood there we go you saw a hood goat yep um it has like a big chain who's the hood goat uh tupac probably um what was it oh there was this petting zoo on the way i keep yawning my eyes really blurry i feel like i can't see oh great lauren's lauren's tired i haven't been tired in a while grab a grab a cup of will's coffee maker it's called mr coffee i'm sorry i made enough coffee for me and jerry and russ this guy was pillaging so we don't have

any left wait i texted you on the way over here yeah i'd already made it oh all right i'm just saying there's none left for lauren because you pillaged it okay all right guys quick shout out to our new sponsor funk away they came up with their products because they were tired of using other odor eliminators that just covered up smells instead of actually getting rid of them we're talking about the nastiest most extreme stomach turning odors you can think of like the ones in hockey locker rooms garbage dumps public restrooms or my apartment their stuff is made 100 in the usa and doesn't just mask odors it eliminates it all right i'm a big fan of the 420 product they offer you know you know us blazing on that we are always toking that shit up

token that shit up and uh i don't want the cops to find it so the best thing to use is the funk away 420 also like their odor eliminating beads those are fun agreed uh fun to just play with honestly which i know is not i tell you i tell him not to he's always trying to eat him but no okay don't say that we don't eat them uh but anyway yeah after going to the bathroom or smoking or eating something disgusting or working out funk away is always the go-to uh one time i had a massive massive stinky dump right before i was hosting people over for hors d'oeuvres and funko was the only reason that i didn't completely embarrass myself uh give funk away a shot today by going to the funk away store on amazon and click on almost friday to save to learn more

about the full funk away product family go to funk away.com and learn how to live funk free All right, guys, we want to take a quick moment to talk about a new sponsor of the pod, Lucy. Lucy is the intelligent nicotine for adults designed by scientists to deliver the most satisfying nicotine experience and always tobacco free. Whether you use nicotine to enhance focus, boost your energy, or relax, there's a Lucy for you. They offer products from hydrating breakers to pouches to lozenges to gum with individual servings ranging from four milligrams all the up to 12 milligrams ensuring satisfaction for even the most demanding nicotine routines personally i like the lucy breakers i have the mint right now i like the eight milligrams 12

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let's get back into the episode all right we have a great episode for you guys today we have your pitches followed by our pitches followed by teach me something and then we're gonna do this guy rocks and then will and i are gonna do conspiracy theories that don't exist and worst things to say on a first date oh i'm excited i had a first date the other day so i'm excited to do this draft yes yes oh it's so funny right before i right before oh you're gonna pee what the fuck wait make put a sound effect in of like a crazy stinky fart when will did that i dutch ovened myself the other day and it was oh you don't want probably not i mean we can talk about it i uh was watching some television

and i let one rip and just out of curiosity i kind of you created like a no i just kind of opened opened up the comforter to just see what the that was my phone lauren just farted no no no that was literally my lauren just farted that was crazy that was my jerry turned around that's jerry i swear on my mother's life my phone ready lauren farted okay of course oh i didn't lauren lauren cut lauren cut some wind i didn't um my phone and when i wouldn't i wouldn't have like lauren farted i didn't girls can lauren you're the first girl i've ever heard fart i didn't i don't like getting accused of things i didn't do well lauren just cut cheese i didn't all right i'm gonna put a replay of my elbow moving my phone i would bet one million dollars

that it's going to be like your elbow your elbow moves in this room there's a small cut the cheese that is for boys well that is no way to behave yourself as a lady well we're gonna we're gonna play the replay right now and then you're gonna react all right three two one is that crazy oh boy oh heavens wait yeah you walk out will lauren just farted you like dive

across the room i bet on your i bet on your lives i would kill you guys if i was lying what you bet on our lives you're sitting in a position of someone who's about to who's trying to hold in another one oh yeah yeah you're trying to sneak one out that's i've done that before yeah like

here and there's nowhere to go so you're a little like this fidgeting i don't ooze it out i uh we used to do like the cover your farts thing did you do that as kids you'd like be like and like try and like time the fart with the coughs and no one in like it's like with covid it was like i used to cough to cover a fart now i fart to cover a cough for covid but there's like a compilation of kids like dropping textbooks and like if you like do it too early then now all they tend to on you like for the high risk so like that's funny you're already road mapping it i was we did oh my god can i please i have to tell something funny now no we our camping setup

was hysterical so it was uh our tent our sleeping arrangement was it was me scott and our friend lily and scott and lily i i let them i i volunteered to sleep we had an air mattress it was a three person tent yeah with an air mattress but then one person was just not going to be able to fit on the air mattress if that makes sense so i volunteered as tribute i was like i'll sleep on the floor but you have to be nice to me the whole trip yeah they were nice to me they held up their end of the bargain so they're on the air mattress and i'm sleeping but the way like the air mattress is the same shape as the tent but a little bit smaller which means i the the real estate available to me is at like a 90 degree angle so i had to sleep oh that's so good does that make sense kind

of like i'll wrap the corner of it yep and i was farting all night and i felt no shame because i was like in such a moment like you like you like break the grossest fart of all time yeah didn't you said yeah i kept being like how's the altitude up there fuck heads and uh well did you bring enough blankets to create a nice like cushion for yourself i had one blanket oh it was horrible i don't think i would sleep one i slept eight hours oh but it hurt wait eight hours is the right amount of sleep yeah that's what i'm saying i was actually great oh i thought you were like i only got eight hours i only got i mean i usually i sleep 10 or 11 most nights what's the there was a girl whose audition her audition like went poorly or something and she was like yeah i just

flew in like i only got eight hours of sleep last night like kept rambling and then one of the judges like wait that's the normal amount of normal amount of what i don't remember i feel like it was like x factor oh uh here are my best friends yes i'm gonna pee and then should we do pitches well while they're peeing let me tell you something we've got a card game almost friday the pregame it's available at every target i think most targets at least so go to target get it and post it with hashtag selfie selfie post a selfie with it hashtag card game guy or something i'm going to the mets game later i'm really worried about that we lost nine zero last night

we can't do that again we can't do that again we got we got to get our starting pitching back on track i feel good about menea but it's uh you know the bats got to connect too we can't you know getting blanked by flarity and that guy's been ass all postseason maybe he just had a good game or maybe the bats are are slumping maybe they shouldn't those three days off actually hurt us more than they helped i don't know but it's time that yeah i just took advantage of my opportunity with that you guys uh i have one more thing i want to talk about before we uh get into the pitches yeah i ordered a package and do you ever use apple pay to order something that like has all your info you don't have to fill anything out oh but it's a wrong

address i still had it as my uh house in florida yeah and so the package went through like like right as i i didn't realize it until it was already processing so i had to like watch it load and then like get approved it was a fucking it was like pulling teeth and then i called it was from skims oddly enough i called skims yeah what is this about you're wearing skims these days i love skims is that not is that not for chicks uh they make like they make like boxers and like sweatpants and like like all my pajamas now are skims i'm wearing skims underwear i have two pairs of like pajama sets the softest things i've ever put on my body i ordered these two pajama shorts and then i got whatever so i i i'm i realized i liked my first order so i was like

i need to go back in this is awesome goes to the wrong house uh they won't let me change the address so i'm just like all right i know the guy that owns that house i'll give him a ring like tell his tenants like to keep an eye out for it and it's like other rollins kids so it's like they knew who i am i know i presumably know who they are um and he's like great i'll give him a shout like they'll uh they'll bring the package in like your dad or someone could go pick it up awesome uh the ups takes a picture and it's like it's delivered so i see it on the front doorstep there's no denying that it was on their front doorstep i send my dad over 20 minutes later it's been taken inside and it's not there so like he saw it the kid brought it inside

uh and then i call bill and i go hey could you just have him throw it back out on the front porch like my dad feels bad like waking him up this early whatever it was like 9am on a saturday and he's like uh yeah the kid says it's it never got there and i was like no i have a picture of it there and this is like a neighborhood it's not like someone would like a homeless guy like or someone came and stole the package like it's like at the end of a cul-de-sac and so this kid is saying that my package never got there when i know he definitely saw it and was like oh wrong address opened it without thinking it thinking about it and now like doesn't want to give it back and i'm furious why would you have said wrong from morning hockey with a cup of coffee

to timbits and road trips tim's and canadian tire have always gone together now it's official you can now earn canadian tire money at tim's link your triangle rewards and tim's rewards accounts to earn twice with every tim's run terms and conditions apply visit tim hordens.ca slash triangle for details address would have had the right address no i'm saying like he saw it was like oh it's like someone accidentally sent this year like free stuff didn't think i had a way to get in contact with him and now is saying that the package never showed up it's funny that it's skims i know he definitely opened it and was like oh what am i supposed to do with like pajama pants and sweatpants or actually they're they're sick so yeah yeah he probably saw tough yeah it's

annoying it's really annoying i'm sorry that that happened but now i'm like no i'm not gonna like i'm gonna win this scenario i'm just gonna have someone to go over i know like 30 people that live in this town yeah make this guy's life make his life yeah put him through put him through heck and back peeing his house yeah you ever tp um no you ever did young ditch like to people i knew oh that's fun yeah like was that will yeah never like in earnest um ding-dong itching people that you want to go hang out with you like you like run up to the you like are going to hang out at their house and then at the last moment or like i think i would do or i'd like hide around the corner yeah yep yeah i am a ding dong dish so much lauren you ding dong dish oh yeah you egg

you ever egged no i egged once really i remember one time for a good reason yeah uh me and my like best buddy again mutual friend of will and i's were dating these two sisters and they both broke no uh a grade oh oh oh best yeah best buddy in the conventional sense of the oh yeah i thought that oh that's funny yeah i took i took pete to egg someone's house i'm a really good mentor um and we like both broke up with them at the same time and he was like do you want to go egg their house i was like you i thought you broke up with these two girls and then i don't remember how you broke up with them and then it's horrible getting dumped and then egged no i don't think that's i don't think that's how it went down for some we were both he was like

do you want to go egg their house was like yeah you're just like some like pepper but their house was so big that like there were like three eggs and it's like i don't even know if they ever saw it yeah we hit a part of their house that like unless you were like looking for it like dude because there's eggs there there was a my cousin joe uh like in up in old orchard beach one time there was a his window got hit by an egg yep he like woke up and there was like egg splatter on it and shit but it was it came through the window no no it hit the window oh i think he said it was on him he woke up oh no no he woke up or whatever he saw it when he woke up or whatever it was like clearly someone had thrown an egg and nailed his bedroom window but he he lived on like the

highest floor and like they had a fenced in yard that was yeah it's like this must they lived like right on the beach must have been a fucking athlete so that's literally they had this buddy louis that was like trying to make the mlb and they were like it literally has to be him nobody else could throw it that hard with that much precision to hit his window from the beat like it was impossible that a layman had done it that's so funny yeah when my one of my favorite like stories about my grandpa is uh my dad and his his best friend growing up was this german exchange student named ingo yeah and him and ingo would like sit in like the ditch on the side of the road and like throw snowballs at cars like just love that good good times and uh being guys

guys being guys german exchange students being german exchange students and uh and they pelt this car and they didn't realize it was my grandpa's car and he slams on the brakes throws in reverse and starts chasing them through the woods he doesn't realize it's his own son and his friend and uh my dad kept running and ingo like scampered up this tree like was like very good at climbing trees and uh my grandpa saw him went to the base of the tree and was just like i have nowhere to be like i'll sit here all day and ingo wouldn't get down so he shook him out of the tree my god and uh brought ingo like back to his back to like their house back to germany he said he like fedexed him back to germany um all right should we get into pitches yeah yeah

let's do it all right we're on a tight schedule we gotta go to the mets game yeah it is fun it is actually hype though we're going to game two of the nlcs i moved my whole i moved my whole day around i was like supposed to go to dinner with my dad and i was just like uh yeah sorry we got well we also do have a night recording so i could have actually gone to dinner after the bets game but it's like we're blocking off a pretty big chunk of a weekday it's actually i kind of forgot like we have like a job with like like i was looking at my calendar i had to like move some meetings around i was like this is not a an okay reason but i think it is yeah i think it'll be fun sam sam loops and gavin are all in new york for the uh yankees game

guardians let's go guardians let's go guardians actually yeah i want to do a subway series we yep all right let's get into our pitches this is from i'm sorry if i uh pronounce your name incorrectly math mathis berg bergweiss i don't know how to say it you really peter you really lost confidence by the end of that mathic mathis bergweiss i don't know math is math is isn't that how they spell like bourgeois oh maybe is it bourgeois m-a-t-t-a-h-i-j-s i think it's i don't okay so the i don't know we're talking about the last i know i know anyway i'm so i'm just gonna call you matt um okay hi lauren lightning and mater matter is it mater bruh i've never seen cars a long time you can't you can't be i don't know anyway okay we're not getting off track

that's fair what is the worst part about social events i need to be checked uh the anxiety of like oh oh having to talk to people having to poop okay he says handshakes yep i don't know that's the worst part well definitely yeah gross but gross he says you walk into a party maybe it's your girlfriend's family reunion or a networking event and suddenly the panic hits do you hug going for a handshake oh i see what he's saying okay yep sorry no you're fine uh do you hug going for the handshake or maybe you're in the netherlands and you have to go for three awkward cheek kisses it's a social minefield and we've all been there feeling like the awkward outsider what if i told you that there's a way to never feel that cringe again introducing the not so

awkward handshake pill the world's first name is in the works the the world's first social savvy supplement designed to decode every greeting situation one pill taken just before any social event and your body will instinctively know the right move whether it's a casual handshake a dab up a confident hug or the dutch triple kiss combo no more hesitation no more awkward encounters just effortless smoothness every single time i like that well said by the way i like the i like trying to solve this problem i think a cool way to do it could be like each house has a sign where it's you know it'll be like in this house like we like do whatever okay yeah you could just have like a rug like a doormat outside that's like we're huggers we're dappers i yeah but it's always

weird like i i this stressed me out so much yeah it's always funny when you know one of the people really well enough to hug yeah and then their friend is sitting there waiting for the greeting so like let's say i see like lauren and like a new friend of hers i feel like sometimes i'll like hug lauren and then like turn around and be like hi i'm jack but i feel like i like i hug girls more is that weird like if it's a dude i'm never gonna like go in for the hug i feel like i hug everyone yeah if i'm meeting a girl for the first time i'm a handshake with a guy like you got a side hug though yeah you can't tell you about you can't get full frontal on the first meeting uh we had like a version of you remember yik yak yeah some like bc kid made a version of

yik yak awesome and uh that was the greatest app yeah so funny yak was gone but then they made this bc one that was like effectively yik yak just for bros college and uh heard shout out heard i think it's still oh we had heard at rollins i think they expanded but it was bc kids that started yep anyway uh that place was a nightmare yeah but there was one time the top post was like like ran into a hookup and it was awkward buddy got flustered and shook my hand was it yeah all the comments yeah all the comments were like it was like like since when is it a bad thing to be a gentleman this is the move going forward like wait you had been hooking up with this girl and you shook her no so i don't okay so we hadn't actually hooked up but it was like we'd had like

an we'd like matched on like a dating app and then like fizzled out or something like twice like two separate times i think on like different apps i don't know there was some nature it was like we'd never met in person but like we definitely shipped passing in the night and so it was like it was legitimately like an awkward i was like oh my god this is now i'm meeting this person yep and i and she was kind of like why'd she phrase it like you guys had hooked up because i felt i'm not i guess i can't prove it's anonymous i can't prove it was about me but it was such a funny moment that i'm and it was like the timing of it was exact i think she just like it was harder to phrase i was like a guy i matched with twice yeah yeah i was talking to maybe yeah

i don't know it was funnier that way but i'm pretty i'm 99 sure it was about me and it was just like she was behind her friend kind of at a weird angle and i was like hi nice to meet you and shook her hand so she put your hand up for her to like kiss yeah i was like but uh it was very funny because all the comments were like backing me up yeah this is the move now i went to meet uh sam and gavin at the bar on saturday jesus i know i have a fucking problem and uh and one of the girls gavin gavin was like have you ever walked in on a bar where gavin is he's always holding court with like very pretty women not saying gavin's not a very handsome guy but it's like every time i see him he's like holding court and they're all like whatever

waiting on every word he's justice that's what we call him that he's what do you call him we call him the chief justice because they're always holding court i like that oh nice there we go and uh one of the girls he was talking to i was like that girl looks so familiar we matched on hinge and i had uh like responded to one of her prompts or whatever and she just whiffed just swing and a miss didn't shouldn't even respond that's fucked so did you acknowledge each other no but we were talking for like 30 seconds and i was like i wonder if she says anything and she definitely knew i don't know i don't think she did she went back to sam and uh sam's with ben or with uh gavin them and apparently they had a great time well yeah i don't even know what i'm

doing on hinge.com dude i think i i went on i went on the hinge date and uh cool good stuff i mean i did one but then it was i just i like felt bad i was just like okay i'm yeah i'm in wherever the fuck i was i'm in georgia and i'm back for three days and i'm sick and now i'm in joshua tree and now i'm back for two days and then i'm in ohio yeah so i just yeah you're going to ohio this weekend yeah where cincinnati oh oh five one three yeah i just farted i'm gonna get some skyline i'm stoked so you like skyline it's my favorite food in the world oh i didn't know that yeah my mom make my mom's like a homemade recipe that she would i like every like holiday and stuff nice i grew up on that shit what what are you like what what are you just enjoying your own

fart i was just laughing i was just laughing about it i'm sorry all right let's do another pitch yeah i like your brown socks by the way i feel like thank you will every time i wear these will says the same thing yeah they're b-sides yeah they're nice it's like uh yeah i feel like it's like a more grown-up thing to do like i put them on i'm like oh yeah no white today yeah i feel like people if like they see a little bit of my ankle and they're like that's brown like i thought he i thought this guy was like an amateur but it's yes yeah these are also entry level entry level nice yeah all right next pitch is from jacob o'donnell he says god he says he woke up in a cold sweat with this one all right spreading jelly spreading jelly out on a pb and

j is so unfortunately difficult agreed often leading to lumps of jelly throughout the sandwich boo i present to you the jelly zamboni this is a small tabletop device approximately the size of a toast oven jelly gets loaded on the top hopper and heated to remove the lumps on a conveyor belt the bread gets dragged under a dispenser that works similar similar to a zamboni distributing the warm jelly and cooling it as soon as it makes contact with the bread you are left with a perfectly even layer of jelly also i know the name jamboni is right there but i feel this is specifically a jelly problem since jam already has a looser more spreadable consistency no it's got to be jamboni jamboni it has to be jamboni wait jam i feel like jam is the one that i struggle

with i think they're the same no jelly has the chunks jam is like smooth what i thought it was the other way around i think the same thing jelly is jelly is is uh more liquid jam is like a solid what's i think don't get me started on marmalade yeah what the fuck i thought they're all the same thing no fuck i mean essentially i think two for two two like jam versus jackley she said she spelled jelly wrong on the search she spelled it wrong dumb fucking idiot jam has a semi-firm chunkier consistency while jelly has a firmer smoother consistency okay huh all right i don't give a shit i don't obviously give a shit i haven't had a pb and jane like a i'm not a baby dude yeah what am i nine what am i nine no i'm joking i fucking love pb and jace i just don't

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pieces maybe it's kind of sometimes it's hard step on one what you step on now okay guys i thought we were on a tight schedule you fucking love legos too we are on a tight schedule when i went to your bathroom you have you have five lego sets unbuilt nope yep nope three one i did two this weekend nice um well sometimes when i'm building legos it's like i wish i wish the pieces on the table were more organized because sometimes i'll like organize them so that i can build it quicker but then i whatever this is a sorting machine where you pour each bag in and it's similar to the way like coin star works where it like can identify a dime versus a penny versus a nickel it will know what pieces and it'll kind of like

what does it organize them by uh shape okay so like you would have all the ones that are two you'd have all the ones that are three it's not perfect i'm not gonna claim it's perfect but it gets them kind of in a little bit better order you can build more efficiently it would be fun i think i think there would be a market for that too i think so too yeah i'm down i'll give you 15 cool i'm in on the ground floor also this is kind of unrelated when we started i felt violently ill yeah i feel so much better now good i tend to have that effect on men um sorry i'm pulling up my pitch that hat is so sick yeah i know jack got a hat trick they sent it to me and they rock and jack's wearing it to the mets and i think well no i

got a couple options for you well i'm gonna say this feels like the most to your vibe so i'm gonna say i don't like any of those that does look like a hat you would wear yeah i know i don't know if i can see him wearing the other one so i think i'll wear the other one i have a cool corduroy one over all right um oh yeah this is the shower suit why do you keep staring at me the shower suit was uncomfortable continue this is the shower suit the shower suit is a it's like um a body bag for yourself then you zip up and then it goes like and then it rides you up and it cleans you i was just dude i was like camping and i was like obviously i don't want to shower out here yeah but it would be nice

to get a little sort of reset in the morning you know you just kind of change into yeah i guess clean clothes but like i'm all stinky and dirty and so i was thinking it'd be like for if you're camping or something you bring a little bag and you zip it up and you go washes you water there's stuff spraying it's going it's like inside like yeah yeah yeah dishwasher oh okay it's like a dishwasher but you're only there for like five seconds so like you can't breathe for like a second but wait why wouldn't it just go like from like here down i like that yeah you put your shower suit too yeah this time it's personal this time it yeah and then it just does all that and then you dry it off and you're good to go and it contains it

you like it yeah thank you i haven't had a reason to need it yeah we should go on we should go on a retreat play date retreat go camping and we can bring the stuff i like don't have a desire to go camping really yeah i think i would need to glamp i would need to be in like i'd rather just go to on vacation same to me to me camping is like more work than my regular life so why would i but it's so successful dude i don't want to sleep in a tent you guys suck do you hear i'm gonna hit diamond today what is that what did i just oh the airline stuff So speaking of sucking, we can go on vacation together. I have a bunch of, I get like either four global passes and six domestic or I can do

like eight global. I just did the money back on my credit card statement. No, but I get to pick three. Oh, that's sick. Yeah. So if you tell me that you think my diamond status is cool, I'll take you to Prague. You can take me. Why don't you take me somewhere?

Yeah, I get four. oh you just take people places yeah all right i'm gonna be in delta one in delta one so we could go we would have to pay for the hotel and stuff but you know you and i could go to like fucking anywhere our hearts desire all right i'm down four times i'll be nice to you all the time yeah let's do it that's it i actually told ty to take him somewhere but we could use we could the three of us go there we go it's all but we i'm thinking i should do them all global yeah instead of the domestic ones and then just like you do a trip like use all of them in one trip so like if i have like eight grab like four people or three oh yeah yeah like fuck it let's

go let's ball that'd be sick i'd go back to amsterdam yeah i've never been i'd love to really yeah i'd go i want to go when we're done with all this travel like next year yeah early next year maybe do you want to go in like february yeah i'm trying to go on i want to go to europe in like january february too oh that's cool i think troy probably troy could probably take you right yeah why i don't know i thought you i don't know i got defensive i thought you're trying to i thought you're trying to join our trip oh no no no i don't want you to i just wanted you to say it no i've genuinely been like i one of my best friends lives in london and i want to go visit her hey lauren you know i love a london boy i enjoy walking high gate something in the afternoon um

all right do you guys want to see my this guy rocks yeah yeah let's see lauren do you have to airdrop do see see i think both of you have already watched this but i want the people at home to see these guys i think this is what i think it is we're only gonna watch a little bit of this nope all right this is william and cooper podcast number two oh god um i think i'm the find this i don't know yeah i'm the only comment um i liked your comment two people did so william and cooper have started a podcast and like i i i know it's going to come across like i'm joking this is like what i think podcasting should be i think we should i think we should try and do more of this so let's just give it a shot let's see what they're up to

hi i'm cooper and today we're going to be talking about the 10 our top 10 fast food restaurants number 10 i'm going with white castle iconic but slimy who's making them do this it's definitely a school project like why don't we overlay music in the background of our podcast that's so funny yeah and we should not have microphones and talk so quietly all right now go to go to like the 7 minute and 40 second mark Cooper has Cooper has like a small panic attack

And you watch him You watch him fight through it Which one's Cooper? You tell me which one You think Cooper is The recap on the red Yeah I feel like he's just getting

bored. No, there's one part where he like really freaks out. Go where's like his hands on his neck. I think it was back here. You told me. There's one part where they start like sweating. But this is, yeah, that's William and Cooper podcast

number two. I'm an avid, I'm a rabid listener. where i like i don't was this on your like home page on youtube i think so well i clicked on the account i think it's it's just it says 28 views jack yeah how did you find it i've watched it 27 times um i actually don't know because here's here's more people oh can we let's check out nathan porter and ashlyn reed podcast but this is what bums me out is like you shouldn't be forcing kids to try and podcast in high school it's probably for like public speaking or like a media production class wait can you do can you go do the movie review car too nathan and cooper

or the other one go back to where we were uh out here yeah nathan porter and ashley all right they got a little more spunk yeah i like their gusto oh we talked about this a little bit before we were planning everything but i'm a senior and nathan is a junior and we just wanted to talk about a lot of the different things that happened the mic in the middle all right i'm airdropping this to interrupt this yeah let's let's move on but i want nathan porter on the podcast they all rock he yeah he's cool look at his hands he means business yeah i do they got the mic set up too they got a little bit better of a thing going they at least kind of have some spunk it felt like cooper texted you my computer

is it on you have texting no you don't have sexting on your computer oh there we go you don't have texting i don't want to pull up my text on my computer what but you do have text yeah i just don't want to pull it up right now okay it's just like too many things to dive into oh it says when people ask me why my rap name is shoddy mills i'm always down for taking shots oh yeah wait let me get my eyes on this again yeah it like went to shoddy mills is also a fire name shoddy mills official not to be confused with all the fan pages exactly he doesn't like it he's like no he hates it he fucking hates it um yeah that guy does rock all right will teach me something brother oh shit what was my teaching something i files

oh i did i wrote down a bunch of facts about deer all right this is all my all this is about deer uh did you know that their antlers grow sometimes they can grow a half inch a day no that's crazy almost watch that happening yeah have you ever seen the fucking what they do to get the skin off the antlers it's weird metal as fuck they like rub it on trees and it's like gory and like all like it doesn't hurt them but it's just like bloody and shit and then sometimes they'll eat it oh out you tell me more deer i'm out on that uh they can detect noises from a quarter of a mile away they have a 310 degree field of vision so they can see stuff that are literally like behind them oh that's sick uh they can run 30 miles an hour and they can jump 10 feet

high that's insane huh um i i'm sorry if that wasn't that fun no i like it you liked him about deer yes yes i loved it okay 310 degree field of vision is sick um there's 310 field of vision is sick yeah imagine i want to know what's behind me right now jerry is naked oh jerry oh jerry jerry now he's doing it to himself um okay did you know that the entire city of portland maine our our lovely home yeah uh burnt down in like the 1800s no to the ground thank god you know you know it's all made of brick now yeah it used to be all wood like the entire thing rookie mistake rookie mistake and like one apparently like one guy's cigarette in like a bar like it's like where like three dollar dewey's is now or something like one of those bars

a guy was smoking and dropped a cigarette it set the entire town on fire it's like a nightmare yeah i think a whole city burning down would be total cheeks i mean i can't even imagine like that used to like happen i hate when like just a neighborhood i know but like chicago all burned down dude you know every pretty much every city like has every major city like has burnt down yeah like it needed to happen for them to like move on from all the wood it's crazy didn't new york burn down like twice i don't know but if they did i'm not having it i am not here for it all right should we do lauren you get to pick do you do you want to hear conspiracy theories that don't exist first or worst things to say on a first date let's do worst things to say on a

first date okay well let's do also when you edit this or make it rapid fire i always like those these are the worst things to say on a first date your hair smells just like my mom's uh can i check your purse to make sure you don't have a weapon um i'll pay if you can guess how many piercings i have can you post my friend's bail uh what color underwear are you wearing what kind of birds have you killed um it's so nice seeing you not sleeping through your window did uh are there are there a kind of termites that doesn't like wood but instead they go for human skin because i think i have those wait say it again is there a type of termites that

instead of wood it's human skin because i think they have those and i think i have those yeah i think they're burrowing yep um i'll have a tequila soda and for the lady a shirley temple do you have good lungs can i check how long can you hold your breath um uh i'll give you five bucks if you can guess the length and number of skid marks in my underwear my neighbor is just like flanders from simpsons it's insane he's so much like flanders from simpsons yeah okay stan stanley i was just riffing at the end there yeah um let's think lauren what's those are good i'm trying to think what's the last thing you would want to hear from a guy on a first date let me see that body right body right let me see that booty no need for the

menus i'll be doing the ordering from morning hockey with a cup of coffee to timbits and road trips tim's and canadian tire have always gone together now it's official you can now earn canadian tire money at tim's link your triangle rewards and tim's rewards accounts to earn twice with every tim's run terms and conditions apply visit tim hordens.ca slash triangle for details i can't think of anything lie and tell the waiter it's my birthday i lied and told the waiter it's your birthday be cool i lied and told the waiter it's my birthday that would be funny yeah that'd actually be an all-time move that could be kind of fun i'll have the lava cake and for the lady perhaps a salad yeah yeah i'll have it um

the lady probably wants like um something not yeah what let me i guess or from white chicks perhaps not i can guess what you're thinking let me guess shopping um all right should we do conspiracy theories that don't exist yeah these are conspiracy theories that don't exist bees don't make honey and they don't pollinate anything have you ever seen that happen no you just take everyone's word for it yep it's just a way of justifying keeping around the one bug that keeps us in check yes that's a good point uh i always heard that jfk killed himself oh yeah he was just tired of hearing that fucking ball and chain yap and so he nice yes yes nice uh gum you know the gum that you always find stuck under tables and counters a lot of times in public places

all of those are microphones cia disguises them in gums and they stick them everywhere because think about who does that have you ever done that no have you ever done that actually i think i have oh what the fuck you're a government agent killer no she's a spy spy spy spy caught anyway uh think about it though no one does that except for some spies but and they're everywhere so it's like where is this coming from no one does that except for some spot microphones well spies are the ones who do it yes okay um the government pees my bed every night to keep me docile yep yep i like that uh the the no one's the the everything about space like the moon landing didn't was fake and then everything since then has just been like oh god we got to keep it couldn't just be like oh we

went to the moon and now we're done yep so they've gotten in this like crazy web of lies now we have astronauts stuck in space like they're just making stuff up like the script writers for the season of nasa went crazy yeah they're on they're going through an experimental phase yeah like yeah um the government's adding chaperone to all of our playlists to make us gay it's working it's working it is working uh jfk's assassin was actually just upset about the wait times at jfk airport took it out on the namesake guy that's funny um you know the a lot of people think the earth is flat yep it actually i've heard that the earth is fat and it's way way way way wider than we think it is no wonder you love the earth so much

wait what what uh i don't get it no that's why i'm laughing because i don't like the egyptians i get owned i think he tried to own you i wasn't trying to own you at all i think i got pwned i'm saying you like they get pwned what he like like he likes like i like like fat chicks no because guilty guilty guilty i was picturing like ph whatever it doesn't oh like pog badass he likes pogs that's not true i do not like pogs what the heck okay all right i'll take them all right fat ass white girl oh the ph um i'm not saying i dislike pogs i'm just saying i'm just saying is this a common is that a like a in will and i's world yeah on the website it's will and iron world it's extremely common to the point where it's becoming a problem uh well as a pog

problem oh that's will's truth laugh that's when you say something that really strikes a pog problem well there's a pog problem uh you got a pa pogs anonymous a little little bit of a pog issue but i'm powering through uh uh what else you got oh do you know the egyptians uh were just really really tall and the pyramids were just a couple of their houses that survived yep they were just normal sized houses for them but they were the tallest guys ever that's funny when was the last pog you hooked up with dude uh 20 minutes ago remember when i went to the bathroom she's like like an only fans model that comes out of your bedroom no she's wearing your shirt shit because i had so much fun last night she's like hi i'm a pog and i had so much fun

last night hi it's me the pog from last night all right let's uh you gave me a great dicking oh jesus all right my personality i'm stealing is jesus is because i need to go to church i'm gonna yeah i'm gonna follow suit and i'm gonna go abraham i need to clean up my act no i'm gonna i'm gonna um will and i are going to the mets game this afternoon so i'm gonna be i'm still frank the tanks i'm stealing frankie lindor it's gonna be so loud yeah i feel like we're kind of going into like a kind of a dangerous no like actually we should i'm not even kidding we should be like careful like if you're the only way like dodger smith will beat the shit out of you only if you're being an asshole yeah i don't think we're just gonna be

for the record this is my first day as a mets fan i can't i can't imagine i catch the bug that quickly i was philly was a little dicey this is gonna be worse so oh you think yeah where are we right now yeah or our seats yeah we're in the second row in right field okay at least it's not left field left field is where like the like like creatures are what were you gonna say what oh that's like where like the like the people that sit there have been sitting there for like 20 years yeah um tickets we could have honestly gotten better seats or whatever how much were they 200 bucks what total or each each all right you told me that you wanted to spend that yeah it's perfect all right cool all right love you guys we'll see you guys next

wednesday peace