Will & Rusty's Playdate - how to fidget trade needohs

Episode Date: August 17, 2026

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Okay. Play date. Play date. Episode 236. And of course that is Marcus Smart. Really? Or was he 38? Oh, wow.

I was thinking Shaquille O'Neal. On the Celtics, I think Shaq was 36. Smart. Was 36 on the Lakers? 36, yeah. I'm also, I think it might be... It's an Armand episode. Is it?

Yeah, I think so. Is he 36? Our co-worker Armand. I talked to him this morning, and he was talking about how all his friends are getting married, and I didn't want to be like... Or I didn't want to say... You're fucking old, you fucking old.

Or like, yeah, yeah, that happens in your 30s or whatever. So I was like, because I didn't know if he was 30. So I said, are you 30? And he said, yeah, man, I've been 30. He thought he might have been like 29? Yeah. Really? That brought the 30.

He 30 is the day is long. I think my gauge of how old people is, how old people is, how old, old vine, like how old people is. How old people is. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Old people be like, how old people. i think my gauge of how old people are is way off can we try one yeah paula abdul 59 google it andrew but i guess i mean more like in the realm of people around somewhat around our age uh who is this she looks pretty damn 64 okay i was pretty close you said 59 yeah you're five

years off right that's pretty if you guess that i was 19 oh man i wish you were 19 as always play date is brought to you by bear bells rusty show me your bear bells speaking of you being 19 uh you know it came up on my for you page the other day what's that me being 19 it was no but you look 19 it was unbelievable like it was um it was from 60 for 60 it was like compilation of the greatest interview moments and one of the clips was my was your clip the greatest interview moments of all time of all time yeah and it was the guest was it bradley stephen perry yeah it was when you gave him the gallbladder that got like 20 million views yeah that low-key might be the greatest interview moment of all time yeah wait

what it's the most viewed thing i've ever put out uh-huh there was a viral moment from 60 for 60 there were several don't say it like that no i just was saying there was a viral moment from that shit ass no no that's not sorry that's not what i meant i just meant like i didn't i was around pretty often when you guys were doing that i'm shocked i didn't yeah you're you're what were the other ones you were off collecting your checks and going on red carpets for how cool is it true what were the other ones um there was i think one of the holes moments went viral when i brought out shia labeouf and it was frank merritt or look up 6460 on tiktok there were a few bros waiting for his big hole moment yeah click on that two holy shit

yeah it was pretty wait sort by popular oh my god yeah how was i like yeah we kind of did well on the short form we just never could crack the long whoa and that the bradley stephen perry one like went viral it was like one of those clips that got reposted by like a million other accounts well the first two were both bradley stephen perry because he also oh my god yeah dude had dated sabrina carpenter oh and then and then the he was sitting next to me one time when i was uh i was getting a dump i was posting a dump on instagram like we were just waiting for something to happen i was like yeah getting rid of some photo i think i was on like a trip or something and i was picking the song for it

and i was in this like sabrina carpenter we're literally sitting next to her like our legs are touching and just like full volume i was playing please please please over and over and over again trying to find what part of the song i wanted it to start on and then lauren was like you know that he dated sabrina carpenter but now i think i mean he doesn't care he's like a wife and kids yeah that also happened when he was like 14 yeah it was like fake like yeah the first time you dated someone like yeah but imagine if like your middle school girlfriend was like headlining coachella i think it would still sting a little bit yeah i guess i don't know i think i think it'd be kind of a cool i do not want my high school girlfriend doing that conchella

so elephant in the room um today i am a ref who went to court so for anyone watching on audio i'm dressed like a referee who went to court because and and because that call was so bad wait the he left the court to go to court basketball ref basketball ref who has jury duty basketball no he went to court for like a crime probably or his wife's leaving him he was traveling too much he didn't get to see the kids yes and um and um he went he he's Offside's bailiff Out of bounds judge Oh god

Oh god holding prosecutor Oh god I'm fucking ass He got Arrested for illegal use of the hands Yes Otherwise known as groping Okay so real elephant In the room

Andrew and I were matching today until i were andrew and i were both just wearing white shirts and he stopped me in the office and goes we're kind of matching today and he's wearing a white graphic t i'm wearing a plain white shirt and that was the only thing in common and i i regret going along with it i was like yeah we kind of are and then i left and i was like i can't i can't be doing stuff i gotta stand up i'm matching andrew white socks it was just office small talk or you you two are matching because you both have skid marks in your underwear i have skid marks in you doing okay no i'm actually having a really weird day are you really yeah why what's going on i've just been really busy okay um

it's fun it's good things but just i feel like i just haven't had a chance to catch my breath and then in the middle of it so i got up at like seven this morning i went to the coffee shop and i was working and from the coffee shop and then i get an email and you're gonna hate this andrew i got selected for another olympics ticket draw and they're like it goes live at 10 a.m so i was like oh why do you think that it is well let me finish the story because it's not as glamorous as it sounds uh pretty glam you've been selected twice andrew and i've gone zero zero you haven't been selected either no did you enter it yes oh thank god i'm not the only one what the fuck is that supposed to be like i gotta do it i gotta you're the type of guy to be like i didn't get

it either and then you just never even signed up that literally is some shit you would do i'm not gonna hear it i got an email that was like there has been a high demand or whatever yeah so i got it again after i already got 12 tickets last time and so i go in to get it and if it makes me any better i thought about you i was gonna try to get some tennis tickets oh that would have been sick i know you got selected for like other sports maybe it was like the sports i selected wait you have to let me finish the story because it affects everything the sports that you selected didn't affect it though they said i get in there i go to try to buy tickets i can't i'm like what's going on the 12 ticket limit doesn't reset so they gave me another pick time when i already got 12 tickets

the first time so i literally can't get anything else so like how did their system not filter that out like why would they give me a pick time like i think their system does that make sense i have no fucking idea what they're doing so i didn't i couldn't buy any more tickets it doesn't make people shouldn't be getting approved twice anyway when some people haven't been approved at all doesn't even matter about the ticket limit i bet they just google what they probably found they probably think you're like a risk me i'm a risk what did i do i honestly thought there was a chance i thought there was a chance because i had bought 12 the first time they were like all right we'll put this guy back in there he's gonna buy more

you know what i mean like i thought maybe i had like earned it so i think i think it is the sports that you selected i think that does matter why would that not affect why would they ask you the question if it wouldn't just they were just trying to gauge interest gauge demand so they knew what venues and like how to sell oh but i think like because i picked like basic sports like i picked like basketball and football and like all those i feel like those are high demand events so like I put BMX Freestyle see that I should have done am I just going to be able to buy them like

on the resale market yeah they'll probably be expensive like why else would they ask for sports I thought it was the first thing that he said like to gauge where to book the venues but the venues had already been booked yeah actually the more I'm thinking about it he might be right that that

was like because they thought once I got in there I'd buy BMX Freestyle which I actually tried to do and I couldn't Wait, so can you put, like, I'm going to buy BMX freestyle and then when you go in and buy, like, basketball? 100%. Yeah. Oh. Yeah, exactly.

That's horse shit. I put all the, like, lame. But I was down to go to BMX freestyle. I couldn't even get BMX freestyle. I'm, like, the CEO of going to the archery final. And my mom got in there. That's sick. She was, like, kind of making fun of me for that.

And then she gets in there. She can't get anything either. Wait, your mom got selected? She doesn't even live out here. Yeah, it's not. The locals was, like, a one-time thing. And then there was, like, a full drop. The last two drops have been nationwide.

That feels ridiculous to me. Yeah. I mean, if they saw all the tickets to people who live here, they would miss out on all the economic revenue. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Still, though, why do I pay $2,500 in rent if I'm not even going to get first dibs?

For your house. You pay $2,500 in rent? No. But not far off. It's $2,000. Nice. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait.

Do you think your landlord is behind all this? no why and why am i paying utilities if i'm gonna pay all this money to live in california why can i not enjoy the perks of like being first to get olympic tickets when it's here and it's gonna affect the traffic here is gonna affect me the most you know trust me you're you're i'm shocked that i feel like this would be a thing that i would be the the most mad about and you two would be like not understanding why i'm mad about i'm shocked that you're more mad about i love the olympics i love what's your favorite event pole vault where do i even start the pole vault like that guy uh he likes he likes pole vault and he just roots for that one guy like see it like goes

up and just comes down right on top and sits on it goes up his butt that's the only reason you watch that's a bet he has oh come on close but i was i was laughing earlier about this might be the dumbest thing of all time like oh come on get the pole in your ass guy behind you in the pole ball like that never happens okay no i was laughing about the guy at the swimming event rooting for someone to sink like the way guys were for like hockey fights or something like they just come on come on i've had this future for four years come on what is not even like a betting thing like i want to see someone sink like they never sink come on i want to see someone sick it's not even like possible i don't think that's ever they're all buoyant yeah no come on

wouldn't it be fucking crazy if one of these guys just sinks shot shut the fuck up turning around you're ruining this for me oh my god do you hear caleb just told me this story he was at a a movie and he almost got in a fight well there's a guy they were at some like zombie movie and apparently there were like cock shots in it like that was like and will peters like took his headphones off it was like yes so much cock in this and there was a guy who brought his like three kids from like age one and a half to like 12 and they were like being loud annoying the guy was on his phone showing the kid reels and caleb's buddy went up to him and was like hey can you turn off your phone like they were like in the front row and it was like blasting everyone like super

distracting and he was like can you turn off your phone like we can all see it and the guy was like if i turn if i turn it off if i stop showing this kid reels my kid reels he's gonna start losing his mind and they were like that you can't just create an ultimatum just because he's going he shouldn't be here in the first place and so they like went outside for like five minutes and had like a argument and then came back they like came back and had like resolved it and he stopped showing him reels and the kid was being annoying and then after the dad brought the kid over to caleb and it was caleb or caleb's friend both of them and held the kid in front of them and was like apologize to my son and they were like no we're not no you're in the wrong here and he was

like what do you want me to do like oh so like i work hard i can't spend my money however i want like i want to spend it on this movie it was like you can do whatever you want you can't bring your like your inconvenience i guess but just the thought of him holding the kid holding the one-year-old in front of he's like take him oh oh oh you think it's so easy take him home then Take him home You take him to a movie Make him breakfast soup Oh you call it cereal

Okay buddy Like get a fucking life You wouldn't know how to parent If it hit you in the ass I uh I had a I fucked up This morning at breakfast

Wait what were you gonna say I was just gonna say Do you think the dad Was showing him like Subway surfers And so it was just like He had something Yeah to keep it

Yeah Oh yeah Keep him interested in the movie Yeah Okay what What was you saying now Wait what was the thing With all the cock

And like Will Peters took his I think they were trying to say, like, it was a movie that your kids shouldn't be at. I was confused about the headphones thing. I think he meant when the story was being told, Will Peters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, why was he wearing headphones at the movie? Yeah, was it zombie cock or was it, like, human cock?

Hard to say. Oh, is that the new Spielberg? Or who is it? Zombie cock. Who did zombie cock? The people are normal, but the cock is, like, brains. Somebody did do that. Give me brain.

Zombie cock. zombie cock wants brain zombie cocks yeah it still works it's still it still wants brain give me brain or give him brain give him brain no no i can't control it don't listen to it yeah i think they were trying to say like it wasn't like we weren't they weren't being the police of like these this movie is too gory it was like you're a bad parent for like putting them in front of cock oh yeah yeah did you meat spin andrew or did i dream that what i had a you know what meat spin is right what you somehow you're the only guy who ever avoided getting meat spun is it like a helicopter it's like a website where you like will be like dude have you seen this new it's

like we would tell people it was like mini clip and then they'd type it in it was a guy getting it was a guy's penis spinning in a circle can you pull it up do you want to see it it's pretty funny actually we all right i will say i don't feels like he what kind of bathing suits was he wearing did you see the tan line you were looking at the tan line you know what i'm talking no i I wasn't looking at the daylight. I could barely look at it. So you have a cock and balls. Oh.

Yeah. All right. It's like rereading. Like you notice details that you didn't notice the first time. I'm reading again. What are you reading? Well, I'm reading Dungeon Crawler Carl. Oh, yeah.

Edge for our book club. I'm not totally sold on it. But to kind of offset it, because I do enjoy the idea of reading, but I'm spending all my time reading one that I'm not totally interested in. So to offset that, I've started reading Harry Potter. which one first first so i made it to the point where i made it last time before my kindle died so um now i'm back he just got his wand everything's good to go and i'm really excited about it that's great uh i've been doing it before bed which is a nice good unwind yeah and

then uh and then in the morning instead of my three hours of reels i'd do that that's great yeah um do you want to hear about my breakfast faux pas i'm at breakfast this morning i've started doing that i go to breakfast now and today i want i had to get in here earlier than i didn't have time to go like sit down so i went to giada and i was holding my credit card like ready to pay and i will this was my fault i was waving it around a little like willy-nilly and before i could tip it hit the thing i've never seen this before it before i could tip it hit the scanner and i paid without tipping and i didn't know what to do would you i wasn't sure if i tipped or not i didn't want to make a big stink of it and he didn't seem to notice but i

was worried he was gonna like spit well it's like a counter service place i feel like they're used to that but i ended up i also didn't want to make a show i had cash oh but i didn't want to make a big show out of doing that either because i had already gone and sat down so i was like if i get up i didn't want to like it just seemed like a weird thing to tip like now before i've gotten my food and you sometimes i'm like what are you talking about why would it have been weird to walk up and put money in the tip jar i just thought it would be like performative maybe it's like waving it around i don't know there was no like cool way to do it performative is what trust me i promise you any service worker ever what would rather you performatively tip

than not okay i mean wave that shit flaunt it put it on your butt cheeks so i literally sprinted i and i ate it there and then i sprinted out and just dropped it in on the way out okay yeah but now i'm like worried that they're gonna be like like i'm gonna go in next time and they're gonna be like that's the fucking guy that didn't tip and then i'll be like i put a 20 in there you put a 20 i only have 20s oh my god they're not gonna be worried about it but they're not gonna know well that's why you i feel like when you tip cash you gotta do it you kind of gotta make it Like a little bit like song and dance. But also at a counter service place like that, I think a lot of people don't tip.

But they ended up putting it on a hard plate. It wasn't in a to-go thing. So it was like I ate breakfast there. You know what I mean? But even anywhere you order at the counter, you should tip. I always tip, but I feel like a lot of people don't or a decent amount. You know what I will tip for is when they skip it on the iPad for you, the skip option. I think that's such a pro move when the worker is like, don't worry about that.

Oh, and then you click back. Yeah. because I think that's like so awesome I love when they say it's going to ask you one question yeah yeah yeah and you're like I know what the question is what is a capital yeah it's a quiz

what's your middle I think if they present if they present you an opportunity to tip you have to tip like at Dunkin Donuts if there's no tip option I'm not going to go out of my way but even there I think there's a little button on the thing

but at yeah if you tip the i sometimes i don't tip at takeout like if i'm just going to pick up but 99 of the time i'd tip yeah um i also have been tipping uh i've been tipping more like the drunker i get i'll wake up and i'll see the extra things and i think i need to work on that the extra thing a lot worse problems to have what like that's a good problem to have tipping too much yeah but i also think even there that's kind of performative where they're like you're trying to be like a big shot at tiny's high dive definitely no one thinks that really if you can't be getting a big tip as a server bartender is all fucking awesome wait you mean extra things like you're tipping like 50

percent or something like 100 i don't know i just think you just like you just decide on a price whenever you tip you're like also sometimes it's like if you're in like a rush and i don't want to do the like carry the decimal point and then multiply it by two i'll just be like i know this is more than 20 okay okay um yeah i don't know it is a weird it's a weird thing to be in my head about but this one was a nightmare it's it it's scanning before i've had the opportunity to tip yes you know what i mean because then i i'm like i don't want to call them back over here i just think it's not that you don't think you like spit in my breakfast no wait can i tell you something please this is something important also so this while you're

pulling that up do you think this counts as a communal cup this feels like definitely someone's this is someone's cup right i don't know are you drinking out of it yeah oh it's probably fine right you did you wash it yeah no it was in the kit it was in the kitchen yeah but was it in like the clean rack yeah yeah okay yeah i do rinse them out though because sometimes the cleaning people leave a lot of soap in them something about kylie jenner having a very transparent personality hmm or like a very transparent way or about her kylie jenner having a very transparent nice that's awesome yeah she yeah i can't really crack the wording there's something there for sure yeah kylie jenner she has a transparent personality

yeah you act you act very true no because she has to have it has to she has to have a transparent something it can't just be that she's transparent or you could just be like no but caitlin jenner is very transparent but then that's like weird because it's like she's not like defined as like a parent even though she is like kind of known as being a parent but like she's she was like also like an amazing olympian yeah so do you say that she was an amazing olympian or was at the time she was bruce jenner so she still say i think you say she across the board most people would want that i don't she's sort of a anomaly i don't my favorite i after her interaction with ben shapiro i'm gonna err on the side of what does she have to kaylin jenner yeah i think she's

pretty MAGA still. She ran for governor, right? Wait, she's MAGA? Yeah. Oh my god, yeah. That's what's confusing. Yeah. I kind of like it. I like when there's like it's like a complex situation. Complex. Did I tell you I saw

The Odyssey? Oh, really? I heard everyone was saying that I ought to see it. Okay. okay a guy could tell me he says uh there's this new movie uh you ought to see i was like okay tell me what it is is it odyssey i said i know i ought to see it what is it i think you could give my grandpa like a heart attack with that yeah he uh he has been on fire he we we are playing words with friends as you know and the amount of times one of us has had

to play tits in the last three days is and i it's it's not be it's not to be funny it's i don't have another option and i'm trying to win listen we all play tits they matter and everyone raise your hand if you love raise your hand if you love raise a hand if you about love what else what else is going on man did you like the odyssey i did i went and saw it at the chinese theater oh nice oh that's where i saw it andrew just calls it the theater and um are you chinese okay uh it was like the biggest theater of my life i've never seen it was like a thousand people and it really it was huge and pull up how many people in the chinese theater and uh what's weird about it is the back part of it is not really closed off like it was just the people who were

selling popcorn were just yeah 900 photo dude it was like fucking shocking yes that that doesn't even do it so that still doesn't really make it look as it was fucking ginormous that that kind of does it justice um and i had to pee halfway through and and which is already kind of a stressor for me when there's that many people like when you turn around and that many people are looking back at you sure they were looking at the odyssey and not me but um it was shocking i only fell asleep once which is you fell asleep i fall asleep at every movie i haven't told you this no something it's like i have a caveman brain like if it gets dark in the room that i am i just fall asleep and like i feel i was asleep for more of spider-man than i was awake for oh no oh did

you like it it was awesome that's the confusing part how do you still enjoy it that is the confusing part is i'm having the time of my life and i'm like this is so interesting and then i'll just like like literally i i get i got shaken awake during odyssey because the scene that i was asleep for was important i just they're all kind of important but yeah okay well it was uh i i loved it i i also didn't read it in high school i just like spark noted it so i was learning the story for the first time that was kind of awesome yeah i had to be the only guy in the theater that didn't know what was coming like i was on the edge of my seat i mean honestly it was so long ago i feel like i i would i don't think i would know what was coming really

it's you are you gonna go see it you should see it it was uh it was i went to the 70 millimeter imax one and uh it was sick i i i will say the sound like i needed i think i've ruined my brain i have subtitles on every time i'm watching tv so without them i'm a little lost and the audio wasn't great um at times but i loved it i thought it was sick yeah i saw it in like the regular format and then i saw an imax and i couldn't believe like how much of a difference it really like makes because i was just like oh it's just more square format you know yeah um but it just feels like the attention to detail and the the shots are like more intentional and the imax version obviously because it's a house shot and intended but you actually like feel it which is

interesting you know the shots like even though it was just you were just adding extra headroom or like extra water or something like that in the shots like you actually felt like you actually felt like oh this like feels way more beautiful when i get enough money i'm gonna my house is gonna have a headroom you can't say like a word adjacent to anything sexual in a conversation or he will tune out that reminds me um when i worked at the chargers yeah every game we would the cleaning ladies the cleaning ladies like whatever day of the week they come to your house They're like fuck dude this guy has a headroom It's a mess

It's soaking wet Sorry When you worked at the Chargers When I worked at the Chargers We would mic a player For every game And there would be two cameras There would be a guy on the top and a guy on the bottom

Mike Williams? Wait what? You said Mike was a player in every game Yeah you would mic up a player I thought you said Mike is a player in every game No, no, no, no. You would mic up a player. So you put a mic on their pads.

And there's one guy on top. And there would be one guy on top and one guy on bottom that was shooting that player the whole game, right? And so we called it bottom mic and top mic. And in every meeting that we had, they'd be like, John, you're on top mic today. And I always wanted to say, I could use some top mic. Wait, how does that one work? I don't really get that one. I thought that one was funny.

I could use some top. no i know but it needs the the second word is just as important you needed that one to be okay i could use some top from mike oh oh i see you were saying a guy named mike would say that to you and you'd be like i could use some top mike i mean i guess i was just saying it was like i like the idea that like top and like bottom yeah i think there's more to play with i think i think it do you are you happy right now how do you feel never once in my life in your soul right now what are you feeling i i feel small i'm sorry and i feel belittled and you're the biggest guy in this room i at least not emotionally not right now not right now i'm the smallest all right ed we're back

on the podcast and here's the deal guys it is gloomy out today and i all right gloomy laughing you laugh at that but not that's like the new top mic new top mic just dropped i'm so gloomy the guy who thinks it's gloomy he's been saying it wrong the whole time yeah gloomy i want to be wanted you know what yeah gloomy i'll say it are you saying gloomy i like when it's gloomy in la i was dry i was driving in today and let me tell you there's a little fog out here it feels like real feels like real i feel like every day in la is groundhog day because it's just the same weather there are these guys i don't know what

the rule is construction wise like when they can start making noise i probably do yeah do you know what time they can start making noise whatever the fuck they want eight o'clock it will be it has to be eight o'clock because every morning at 801 this guy starts just firing a nail gun and i cannot figure out where he is or what he's nailing and it is driving me i didn't even react it literally can't get through a sentence it is driving me it is driving me nuts i i'm up it's not like it's waking me up but like there has to be it has to be after people have left for work i feel like nine o'clock it should be nine o'clock because the last guy is getting ready probably at nine o'clock yeah you can't just start nailing things well i feel like your

exact experience might taint your you want to hear about my taint experience job interview for like a porn porn porn set all right so tell me about your taint experience can i tell you something crazy remember please remember we talked about the large penis support group right last episode yeah oh my god you already showed me this since then they posted another thing yeah they i i had found it the day before brought up on the pod i looked up after the pod there was new stuff new shirtless video pictures of me where are they getting it are you sad about the top mic thing though every time i look in your eyes feels like i'm staring into like the pit of no i i'm sad because uh emily got a neato and i still don't have a neato they're

like they're into these new like fidget things oh um bought one she got it for like 16 bucks that's a steal she didn't get you one she knew you wanted one i know or they i would have got her one what what can you pull them up which one do you want we'll get you one for your for your top mic troubles oh i've seen these yeah right you know that thing gonna be linty as hell after like one week though you drop that thing on the carpet is gonna be disgusting i think i think you can like wash them maybe like with in the you throw it in the washing machine no no i'm doing a light of color i'm doing a load of colors lights neetos no you just wash it under the sink or something i don't know what do you do what do you do with i can't stop we know what andrew's gonna

just rub it i just i can't stop watching mrs benches can you fucking drop it for one second I just looked at you. He's fucking... What are you saying? I'm not laughing about it being sexual. I'm laughing about... Actually, it was sexual. I mean, we know what Andrew's horny ass is going to do with the knee, though.

What are you going to do? Well, I've just been watching Mrs. Bench fidget trading videos, and now I want to fidget trade. Mrs. Bench... Mrs. Bench... Say that. I've been watching Ben Shapiro's trading videos. No, Mrs. Bench... Say it slower.

Mrs. Bench does fidget trading videos where she trades fidget toys. Johnny Bench's mom? Oh, oh, oh, where they'll be like, they both put one in the middle. Yes. And then they'll be like, plus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They say, can you add something, please? And they hit the plus sign.

And then they go, yeah, sure, I'll add this. And they go, oh, I accept. Are people making money off of this? You try to do equal trades, but sometimes Mrs. Bench be scamming. Andrew, can I ask you a question? She keeps adding these comm strips, and it, just don't even get me started. So, the hell are you fucking, what the fucking, what the fucking hell are you? talking about we're looking at one that's four dollars why don't you just get that one uh because

they're not real oh you got fakes out there yeah there's a lot of fakes how do i know where to get you i mean i'm sure walmart is gonna the 30 walmart one yeah but at a principal binder and i are trying to avoid like anything above 15 i mean i just feel like that's if you're like if we're gonna be we we can't be upset if we're gonna draw the line draw that line in the principal principal principal 15 dollars i don't know i just i it just annoys me because she has these comm strips that she keeps adding what are comm strips they're is that what you want me to ask little they're these little pieces that you like rub your fingers on i think they have like braille on them or something but she adds them in these trades when he asks her to add something

and it's just not fair but what so um so you hate watch mrs bench you just want no you want to just like it's just a thing you squish in your hand yeah yeah or you do you want to start collecting them no i don't want to collect them i just want to squish them so why don't i mean i just feel like you could get the 30 one but and just call it a day principle of it how much are they going to be they're going to be the principle of it no mrs bench just owns a store where she trades fidget toys can we go on was that profitable uh because she'd be scamming i think she's but how she get money bro um well she also sells like the fidget toys in her store yeah i mean she's trying to look her up she's trying to get her bread up i don't know is she bad or what yeah

oh my god my horny ass could not have an ito um this is oh my god she's millions of followers Yeah, and this is, like, a big deal. Seven million? Yeah. Do you want to see her fidget trade? Yeah. Let me see if I can find one with Squishy King. He's the goat.

He's the goat? Like, she trades with a guy who's the goat of trading? This one she gets yelled at. Do you want to see her get yelled at? Yeah, please. Can we fidget trade? Of course. I love fidget trading.

It's my favorite thing to do. Pause it. Pause it right now. Pause it right now. you can come back to this video this this whatever minute in the podcast this is someone screen record this put it in a vault in five years time something mrs bench is gonna get in trouble for doing something there is no adult with that voice that is not up to no good mary shelby she's one of our best friends let's play let's play it all right okay uh we would like to trade

just like chocolate okay oh two things okay let's see this looks like it looks like a candy bar it's like a croissant thing i got it from miniso this is perfect and then is this one of the minecraft ones okay so you guys start off with some really good stuff so i'm going to start with a dumpling and also i'm going to do a popsicle that's a good trade what do you think yeah can you add okay i'm also going to add this really cute little kitty cat squishy oh i accept as well it's a good trait let me see where she gets mad pro said that's a good trade i love a good mushy kens you a sugar dumpling because a sugar she likes a good mushy kens and you're telling you're telling me she ain't doing she ain't up

to no good i've only i want to jump at that tv these are the constrips they're they're like nothing okay but andrew it's all nothing what is going on right now okay i'll add this can we get and it's like a star this time can you add something that's not a calm strip oh yeah okay i see uh what about this popsicle uh i'll accept okay i accept this as well this is everything i got in real life i'm gonna say i'm gonna go out on a limb here will and tell me if tell me if you think i may be in the wrong here if i never saw mrs bench again i think it'd be too soon if i this is a thing you're this is what you're into i'll take it one further if i ever see mrs bench again it is on site and i'm gonna tell you and this is all love to mrs bench right

if you ever let him see one of your videos again that's like she's gonna ruin him she's gonna get in your head and you're like a normal guy you can't this is like a thing you're doing like for babies andrew what do you mean what what do you mean what don't yell don't yell don't yell sorry we're gonna alienate him that's my bad andrew andrew is the equivalent of cocoa melon for reals i honestly i honestly think i would be i would be more accepting of andrew if he was like when i get home if i've had a long day i'd throw on a little bit of the melon and i coke on my nuts um like that to me feels somewhat grounded in reality this feels what she just has a huge load of fidget toys now like what does she do with all these i think she gets her

fucking everything i say you said huge load um i think she sells them and gets her bread up i andrew this is i'm concerned i'm i'm not trying i'm not joking i'm not trying to be funny as as your friend i'm i'm concerned about it does feel like there's a gaping hole in the market it's not all fucking sex you're doing this on purpose no i'm not oh because we're just constantly saying things like gaping hole there's we literally said it on the last episode too There's a gaping hole in the market If this gets 7 million followers So maybe we gotta figure out how to make money

Is there a way we could sell shit to kids That's how we should make money Sell shit to kids that they make their parents spend their hard-earned money on It doesn't always work I'm worried about you buddy Really? I would rather have you be doing coke after work I think

Than watch fidget trading videos No, I think I would rather be watching coke While watching fidget trading videos Fuck, add more, add more No more comp strips He's like Hold up in his room for weeks But the comp strip thing is bullshit man

That's not like a real fidget toy That shouldn't be a thing that you know is bullshit I'm not Trying to argue whether or not Mrs. Bench is you know Taking advantage of these kids What I am worried about is you Knowing that that's a bad trade

I think bartering is like Such a human skill To have and we've been doing it since the stone age and so it's very natural for if you showed a caveman this his head would fly into the order i think if you showed a caveman this he would rip you limb from limb and then crunch your skull like a coconut and guess what he would do with your bones after fuck him obviously what i was gonna say ride him like a joystick why is it always fucking sexual with you um andrew i i will i will fund a new hobby for you porn like i'll get you a

set of golf clubs really said if you promise to stop doing this i'll get you just watching i'm not even trading them i don't know it's almost worse i'd rather i don't know why i think it's better am i in there i also i could there's a it would it would not be a new experience for me if i was just in the on the wrong side of history no i think i started this of being like andrew worried about you and i was kind of joking around and now i'm starting to think you're actually like being serious oh i was never sure i'm i think this is oh i think it's this is probably good for oh okay i think well i think all the shapes and colors are good for him to just help him learn cognitively yeah it's like keeping him sane it calms me this is yeah this is part of the i mean

what am i watching like fucking weird like monkeys jumping into crazy is that a thing you're doing now we need to have a second yeah i mean my my for you weird monkeys jumping into what i didn't try to let you i couldn't tell what it was your guess is good i'm watching i'm watching monkeys jump into liquids you've never even heard i'm watching monkeys jump into banana ball oh my god that reminds you know the cake thing where they they they that monkey got a his owner his previous owners brought him a cake and so the other one got jealous and like ripped their face and penis off what what oh this is like i don't even want to tell us because like such a cliche to talk about on podcasts there was this chimpanzee what whoa this is like every podcast clip what are you

watching how is that better than future rogan clips that's like like i get a i get a clip of joe rogan talking about this story once a month but it's yeah the gist of it was like this family was fostering a chimpanzee and when it got too big they gave it to like a sanctuary and on his birthday they brought him a cake and apparently chimpanzees have this like like everything needs to be fair and equitable so like if they get very jealous if one gets one thing and the other one doesn't get something and it got out of its cage ripped their faces off the humans faces yeah ripped the humans faces and penises off this is a true story but yeah they went for the two money spot that's what they do they like they that's like their thing is they'll rip your face and then

your penis off oh wait the humans why didn't why wouldn't they rip the face and because they saw the humans bring the cake to the other monkey they like rattled their cage until they got it but why i bring that up is i was thinking about this caleb texted us why you bring that up caleb texted us uh free cake in the atrium if anyone wants it have you seen the cake yeah it's destroyed it looks like someone shot it with a rocket launcher really it is it it honestly calling it saying it's still a cake is like a stretch it looks like it looks like he took the cake out of the case put it in a blender blended it up and then poured it back into the cake it looks like someone sat on it yeah damn now i wanted more come on i hope it was caleb dinner there was like can i

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the s'mores. I think Willie's more of a brownie batter guy. I am, but I have a question for you, Unc. Andrew, Unc. Andrew, Andrew, Andrew. Have you tried the banana bread one? I have not. I want to try it. They have a banana bread one. Why don't we have it yet? It's on Andrew's desk.

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peanut butter and so many more, even banana bread If you haven't tried Bearbells yet, go to bearbells.com to shop the full lineup and use code PLAYDATE for 15% off your order. Let's get back into the episode. It's officially summer season and the cooler's stocked with ice-cold Mountain Dew. Guys, what's on the calendar with your friends this year? I'm talking lake trips, cookouts, backyard hangs, watching a game in someone's living room with a Dew in hand. Guys, it's summertime and nothing says summertime like a Mountain Dew.

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trips watching the game days out on the river whatever it is do is a part of the moment and correct me if I'm wrong isn't there a new song out about Mountain Dew uh no I don't think so yeah there is guys enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew an American original tasting great since 48 let's get back into the episode okay there's a new revelation in this will i was so the good news is he just got into it this weekend the fidget thing what were you saying how so andrew what were you saying fucking hell what are you what were you saying how andrew saying he brought a box in to trade with other people are there other people in here that have enough for you to trade uh no i was just gonna trade for like i played with this box

office supplies that one i'll give you that one was on me that was not i didn't even mean that one i didn't mean oh you played with his box yeah he was on my box yes i actually stole one did you what did you even notice you stole something from my box i i reached right in your box and snagged you were digging around in my box i was like i didn't know if you would say i kind of felt like you might say no if i asked so i just took one but there's like a hundred like you never said no you wouldn't have said no what did you take unless it was a globe i do like the globe no it's like a little like it's like a bunch of bring these in here maybe i'll change my mind if i can get my hands on some of these go grab it's like a bunch of triangles and you can like

we throw like all together you put like the it's like the wooden blocks that you put it like circle in the circle square in the square no okay that would be concerning yes again if you fucker if he was playing with like oh i'm just i'm worried that maybe he's gonna like regress into like a toddler and say oh we've seen all these before okay yeah like oh yeah Were you watching Laudrey Dobert Audrey Dobert Audrey Gobert

Audrey Go-Gurt Oh To me I want to be yogurt These aren't what I thought You were talking about I play with these What did you think Wait let me

Yeah see You have like all of these Yeah I didn't No I do I thought you were talking About like the squishy things I have the like My

These are all like Ones you usually have My teacher This is what I stole Another one of these Wait who was just Using one of those Yesterday

Me French Montana Oh fuck We're not supposed to say He was on almost Friday pod today He took a Liam spot I'll bleep it

We be I live in Bozeman Wait so what do you Are these to keep you Like sane Yeah I think they're like For people with ADHD That

Need to like Be stimulated all the time You want to catch the football? Yeah. I probably can't play with the one. Oh, my God. Probably can't play. Sorry.

It went so far. Wait, so. I'm sorry, dude. I didn't mean to throw it. Do you want the globe? I also think one of the things that frustrates me is, like, every. I'm a little weary of the. This is very fun.

Yeah. This might even go against my point. But I was going to say I'm a little weary of, like, everyone has to have something now. Like, everyone has fucking. well we're all adhd or fucking you sound like my grandma and i go to starbucks and i just get a black coffee none of that frappa dappa ling dong nonsense that's what you sound like right now fucking loser what about the ding dong i'm like a bad guy no because i also think what i'm doing is annoying by like that's that's a redundant take as well like yeah yeah there are there i'm

just i want it all i want all this to go away this was not a thing when we were kids and i think like it takes away from the people that actually fucking have something going on yeah like the odds that a hundred percent of people that you meet now have something is seems i am i don't know it's just hard because it's like it's like one of those things where it's like then you end up like screwing over the people who actually have it it's better for everyone would you just think to it's better to over diagnose than under diagnose oh i just i think because even subconsciously now i just don't believe it which is probably a problem i think i don't know i like um i like when the playmates diagnose us because i found out a playmate told

me that i have ocd yeah but they do that with like all of us like i just don't think that's possible like what did they say you have they said i was like anxious yeah they kept saying i have herpes you have one's diagnosing it's like through the camera instead of melanoma they just see me keep itching my crotch like i think call me crazy i think rusty has craps craps rusty has craps yeah um i i don't know and i think they're like that yeah i also i met a girl uh that was saying that she had ocd and it seemed real and so to say that like like i'll walk down the sidewalk and like try and not step on the cracks and people will be like that you're dealing with ocd and it's like no that's not the that's not the real i mean i just think it takes away from

people that actually have it yeah it's a spectrum so as we're all playing with i mean i feel like it's like there can be like things that are yeah yeah some people are really extreme on the spectrum like the people that can't stop washing their hands and things like that is i have the opposite of that can't start washing once he gets going i yeah i don't know i i think it also doesn't affect me though so i don't know why it that was that's the same i don't understand why these things even get why i even have an opinion because it doesn't affect me but yeah but i think it's kind of human nature of opinions on things that don't affect us so i don't think you can totally blame yourself i think it's just more like one of those things it's like if i ever get

diagnosed with anything my doctor's wrong i'm not crazy is that kind of it's like i was talking with sam brown yesterday where he was he asked how tall i was and i was like well i i'm like 5 11 but i've had some doctors say six feet some doctors say 5 11 and like you if i go to urgent care and one of them and one of them takes my height and says 5'11 i like take their advice with a grain of salt but if it's the one that tells me i'm six feet i'm like yeah you're spot on yep that's you're right i do have i do have crotch fungus i hey that's not funny you know i have that one's like lou eric's other disease luke eric's other disease got no clout um so so you're a scene you're a scene more like like your this is like what uh like when my when my parents got divorced i had

to go to this thing called kids first and it was like family therapy and they were just they just hand me this box and i just sit here and play with shit like this can you not fucking trauma dump right now we're trying no i just mean like these ones aren't like the squishy fun ones from the trade these are like like some are they give these to people whose parents just gotten like a plane wait i have a question about kids was it all kids or you went with it was me and my sisters and there were like snacks and then i only went for a little bit because i literally was to my parents like this is making it like worse i was like kind of like chilling and then they'd go in yeah i'd go into this place and they like want you i don't think this is all therapists i think

most therapists are really good but these ones just seemed like they were like kind of getting off on like kids not in a sexual way like the tea yeah yeah like what like wanted you to like be sad god and it was like i wasn't and then now you're like making me sad but i think i guess maybe there's something to like if you're getting it out get the sad out or else it'll surface up later yeah i had to go uh when we got when i was my first week of senior year of high school i think i told this but we got like a we got in trouble for drinking at a football game yeah and it was an away game and we got the the cop was like i'm not gonna tell your school and then they he did and so i got suspended for two days we and you get one that doesn't go on

your record so it was just perfect it was like oh okay i just whatever but they one of the things we had to go talk to the therapist like once a week and uh so i just sit in the therapist office at our school and she didn't ask me about it wasn't anything like other than do we just chat for like an hour and she also was kind of like what's the tea or whatever and she was cracking up because it was me and all my buddies and no guys really went in but a lot of the girls in our grade did and she was like this is so funny i'm getting to hear the other side of the story all she's like all these girls come in and talk about interactions they've had with you and your friends and now i'm hearing it from your point of view and she was like i'm not saying one of

you's right and one of you's wrong she's just like it is very interesting to finally get the other she's like i have the full picture now and she's like yeah that also feels like i feel like therapists can't disclose that she wasn't saying like i wasn't saying can disclose more than you think actually they can even ruin you they actually fun fact about therapists they can ruin your dreams you know fun fact they can prevent you from going to american samoa wasn't even american they can prevent you from going to regular samoa too they can take the one thing that you've been looking forward to and telling everyone you're doing for the last four months the thing that your parents are finally proud of you for and they can evaporate it and they can

evaporate it and make you go back to a company called friday beers that your mom doesn't get at all and you have to tell your mom well you had four months of thinking you're proud of me now i'm back to the beer thing and they can do it without even looking you in the eye what is that what is that is that movie or something or is that real any of that real yeah she for the record she wasn't she wasn't saying like specific stories or names yeah she also wasn't i don't it wasn't like she was the school therapist i can't even remember what she was she might have just been like guidance counselor no because there

was a guidance counselor's office that was for like college yeah yeah uh she maybe i guess therapist was the right word but it was it wasn't like i don't know if they have to follow the same rules as like I think if I told them that I was doing something against like school rules she could like get me in trouble I don't think she would have but

yeah I don't know what the yeah wait was your therapist Willie was it the college therapist it was I mean it was a therapist that I had sought through the university health services it wasn't even like the program

made you no i had your personal therapist called them no they so i got i don't know how much of this i probably haven't talked about this in years now at this point but uh so i got into the peace corps february i got accepted the peace corps february my senior year of college okay i had been going to therapy the the fall before and so i had last gone to therapy in maybe december of the the year before and i had stopped because i was fine now uh no because i like just like got busy or i don't know what but uh and so i had already been accepted placed in samoa and then i was supposed to leave in july and then in between the acceptance

and when you leave there's like other you have to go get like uh medical checks and dentists i to go to it i had to go to a doctor i had to go to a dentist i had to get like hella dental work done i got my teeth like i had to get all my cavities replaced in case something happened while i was abroad all this shit whoa and then one thing on the forum was like have you been to a therapist in the last six months and it was like at that point i had been to a therapist four months ago right and so i checked yes which if i checked no i would have just gone to smoa but i checked yes because i thought like that would be like good maybe to be honest and so then they followed up and they're like hey we need you to get your therapist you have to sign a waiver to waive

your hippo rights what and let us contact your therapist and have her fill out a survey about you and then and and i just thought it was like a procedural like i hadn't right said any i mean obviously like i had had these fantasies in the fall about like murdering simone villages but i didn't we talked i literally said i wasn't going to act on them probably so no but like genuinely like i really don't think anything i said was that bad uh but yeah and obviously i said everything to my therapist i said thinking like she'll never be able to repeat this right because i thought that's how therapy worked unless i said i was gonna like kill myself which i did even then i aren't they supposed to like no they can definitely i think if you say you're going to they can they

can i would for the record i would i would definitely like my therapist to have the ability to get me out of like a dark yeah yeah but anyway i like all i you know whatever i won't you know i'll spare you guys the details of what i said but i didn't think anything was like that dramatic and then uh most of it was just that i was like partying too much yeah and it was affecting my mental health which i think is not uncommon for heart kind of par for the course senior year senior year of college like i was just like and i also i remember i had therapy at 10 a.m on mondays yeah which is kind of like yeah in terms of the week not that not the day i'm going to be feeling my chipperest yeah and so i'd always be like i don't know i'm just like i feel like i'm like

drinking too much and like you know using recreational drugs in a way that's not good which was true yeah and i'm i'm glad that that's uh how much partying were you doing where you were like this is too much uh it's a funny question to answer because i feel like everybody was going out like thursday friday saturday night in college yeah and like wouldn't you feel kind of shitty on sundays no not really really yeah i was like i think earlier in my college experience i was just kind of like like i didn't care at all but then i feel like by senior year like i really i was also struggling with like all my friends had graduated and so i was going out with people that i was getting to know so i just didn't i didn't feel i was like at home maybe and i think partying when

you're not like with your people can kind of get sad sometimes i don't know i was also just like dealing with unrelated like depression and shit and like i don't know i just like had like a hard year and i think i was leaning on i was i was partying a lot i was drinking way too much and doing drugs yeah and it was making me very not uh it was very bad i i i like would like take adderall and it oh yeah it would really fuck me up and like it was bad like it was definitely uh an issue and not like it like it wasn't like ever like i was like it wasn't like i'm doing it during the weeks like i wasn't like a full-blown addict but it was just like aggressive aggressive binge drinking three nights a week that was fucking with my mental health moral of

the story is maybe the therapist was right no but the truth is that i i felt like the peace corps would get me and i think maybe i've said this before but like i think i was kind of looking at it as a way of like i didn't trust myself like i had lost like trust in my own ability to like be a yeah member of i don't know i was just like i didn't trust myself anymore and i was like if i go to fucking samoa i can get away from all this and like slow down and like get my life together and i don't really think that's why you should be doing the peace corps you told me like a couple months ago that you had like a new perspective on it where you were like that still is very and it still can be very frustrating that like it that they did that yeah but at the end of the day

like it might have been good that you that wasn't going to be like the the solution to all your problems and like using it as that maybe like isn't even why you're supposed to go there agreed like it was a self-serving i was going fucked up that they did it's still fucked up that they did i still think that's the whole thing is very weird and discriminatory against i don't know yeah if she hadn't talked to you in like four months like things that's the other thing and that was the other thing i think is that i felt like i i had turned a corner and like was doing better yeah but there was no way the last time i talked i stopped going to therapy when i was doing better which i know isn't what you're supposed to do but that is

yeah i think the reality for a lot of people and like what i had done but you're supposed to keep yeah i mean you should be in theory like therapy is good even if you're having doing great so you can understand i don't know why and how to keep it going but like i had stopped once i was feeling like more in control um yeah i don't know but exactly like if i had gone to samoa for two years and lived whatever and then i came back here i wouldn't have developed any of the skills that i feel like i now have in terms of like i don't do drugs at all i don't i feel like i you know have my drinking in a way that i a way that i feel comfortable with and happy about and like yeah it also is crazy to think about we wouldn't have built any of the

shit that we're doing together and we wouldn't have this and like i'm so happy for my life shocking sorry this is kind of a like a no i like real turn but one box check yeah it stood between us and sitting here right now which is kind of crazy i mean that is like the ultimate like it's not even butterfly effect it's because it's such a clear correlation yeah it's like the nuclear i have no idea what my life would look like i'm certain it would look i'd probably like doing the haka right now or some shit i don't know what or eating fucking we'd be doing coconut girl scout cookies whatever the hell they do out there do they do do they do the i forget what they're called but the face tattoos that go like down under your arms

or is that just like hawaiians and news or not hawaiians new zealand kiwis uh you we're doing exactly what we're doing now but you have one of those oh the only yeah i know you're talking about everything has gone exactly the way it went we picked up where we would have left off but you just have crazy tribal tattoos yeah i mean i think that would probably be the logical answer yeah yeah and every sketch that people would be like it's really disturbing why does bro have tribal tattoos i uh i've been thinking about going maybe but i just can't find like every time i look up a therapist online you you want to be objective but you're gonna use their photo yeah as but i but what i look for the photo is like way different than if like i'm looking for other things i want

like i want like an old guy that's like looks like he's he did some shit and like now doesn't like an old guy that like you still you want to yeah you want like the uh you want to have a your goodwill hunting experience yeah yeah exactly i want fucking robin williams i think it need i've only had women in the past and i think i need it to be a woman i'm gonna be honest i think that was also part like i never really liked my therapist in college i felt like she always like she kind of judged me i've heard like university therapists are not great um i had one that was great at ron's oh really yeah maybe it's case but the rest were you're the rest you're right yeah i think it's better to go through like your health insurance yeah for most of those

things i know that the ones on campus are free um so they're a great resource if you absolutely cannot that was your copay it was the barrier to entry for me that i could just walk up and sign up and i saw someone like two days later and you don't have to like nice talk to your parents and have it be like a whole thing they didn't even know yeah yeah i uh i had one guy at rollins that was cracking me up he i went to talk to him same thing i was like i feel like i'm just partying like my nuts off and it is like whatever and he goes my he goes totally normal like every kid you know that comes in here says the same thing and he goes you know my brother uh parties a lot and i was like okay and he goes uh he goes what my brother does is he has drinking days where he can drink as much

as he wants and he only drinks on those days i'm like that's what i'm already doing it's like we those are built in in college where it's like yeah obviously it's thursday friday saturday i thought that is not my brother's actually having a thing this weekend i need a plus one you need someone to teach me the rules of beer that's so funny my brother's doing a little kicker we're doing champagne and shackles yeah you need a partner you sound like you're a pretty good time um that makes me so bummed that you guys were so worried about your partying in college i feel like that's the one time you can like not i wasn't until yeah i don't know i just had a

really really hard last year and i i just dealt with it really i feel like those are the four years you're like exempt from any guilt and then after that you kind of got to lock in i wasn't worried about the i was it wasn't the partying it was the feeling i would be so so sad sunday monday tuesday like from anxiety yeah okay yeah yeah um and my buddies to my two i lived alone my my two roommates were in italy for the first semester my two best friends uh and i couldn't yeah and i couldn't go abroad so i was in a house alone and i slept on the couch every night for the whole first semester and that i think like just scrambled my brain i had a buzz cut and a beard i was in a that's yeah i think that's the hardest thing is like going from college

and the beard they're going from college where you're like constantly surrounded by people you got two three roommates and then all of a sudden just living alone like the whiplash of that i remember i started working remotely right after like the weekend i graduated college um and then my roommate left and he came back after like three or four days just to pick up some more stuff and i remember i got on my hands and knees and begged him to stay for like one night because i was so lonely and so sad because it was like summer after graduation so but i was still in the college town because we had like a month or two left on the lease and there was nobody in the whole college town there was nothing to do i was so bored i was just in the house by myself that we used to live

together and i was literally like please please stay for like one night please i'm begging you And he was like, dude, I'm really sorry, but I can't like, Oh, I got to go back home. It was horrible. All right. You know, when, when, when I use nicotine in the past, I've had issues, uh, in the gym with getting the results I want, you know, can get the pump I wanted. My recovery time was worse, constantly on edge, crashing out a lot. My heart would just get racing.

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the world i love the wintergreen i like the cool mint ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch delivering instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine new customers can you cause new customers can use code play date to get 15 off at take ultra.com that's take ultra.com for 15 off with code play date after you purchase they will ask you where you heard about them please support our show and tell them our show sent you let's get back into the episode i don't know if i'll ever live alone out here like i just i i like coming home and having my buddies there like i i wanna what no i just had a thought i was thinking about the drinking thing yeah and one thing that i've thought about recently that's kind of it's like they're definitely you

know here and there i'll i'll have a night where i drank too much yeah uh but it's only nights when i'm like happy and having fun yes that i drink too much and i think that to me that is like like yeah you know there's probably you never need those last couple but like that i can live with one thousand percent in like my last year of college it was like nights where i felt sad or like not happy that i would go get the drunkest and then you just feel like yes dog dog we're going sicko mode now as a result of like this night is too fun to end it now yeah it's like what i'm like doing had a great week and like it's a beautiful day out it's like the day that i'm like ah i got a little too drunk i forgot to tell you yeah when i went home and went to bed yeah i went

back out when when you and i were at vbb and i was like oh what the hell all right calling it a night boys like wait friday night went home we had a great night yeah i know i went home got in my boxers got in bed like was sitting there watching tv and then got a text to go to tiny's and was so shit-faced and got in an uber went there got absolutely cracked and all right but oh sorry got drunk got drunker and then uh bro that you tipped big and they bent you over that bar right there huh is it man that 100 tip i went to tiny's pop them panties down was i did tiny's four days in a row and the it was like the same yeah the bartender pulled my boxers to the side oh my god

well i was gonna say walking into tiny's and they're like they have like seam ripper and they rip my jeans and my boxers open it's like a lighter opener yeah we that night andrew and i and everyone else literally everyone but you that was there we went back to mine and we we hung out yeah and my patio and then at the end of the night me andrew max put uh video games on the projector it was so fun i was out mac we were he was there till like two we're playing college football he kicked my butt i did yeah and then max and i played uh nhl until 3 a.m on the projector it was so much fun i'm so bummed that you guys stayed out till 3 a.m because it came down to us three yeah and i'm always like in my head about like overstaying my welcome that when it like

came down to us three i was like i was bummed when you left really i was like i bet willie wants me to leave like if i want to leave i'd be like i'm going to bed yeah oh really yeah okay okay that's good to know because i'm always like the person that's like when it starts to really like dwindle down because we have like what like 20 people back there at one point yeah and then when it starts to dwindle down i'm like i don't want to be the last person i should have just stayed out yeah and so i was like i was like i don't want to overstay my welcome maybe it's time to like leave or whatever and then you were like yeah we were we were out till 3 a.m watching or like playing the game i was like damn i totally would have stayed yeah it was fun i've never done

that we're playing video games on the projector screen it is so much so i went out with max to golf the following day and i he's i know him through will and we hadn't really hung out outside of a golf context and uh we hadn't really even spent any time like alone together we're in the same cart and i was like we're like feeling each other out or whatever and uh i was curious like what his vibe was and after like three holes he made a comment where i was like oh my god this we're gonna get along really he was like oh my god like i was really expecting the cart girl by now like i could go for a transfusion i was like thank the lord and then we had a we had a great hit your him and his crew is awesome we went to parker too yeah parker is great parker came and

picked me up we went to max's then we went to tiny's nice um and then what did i do i don't know i'm just thinking about if we had gone to tiny's friday night and we saw you there yeah that would have we would have fucking kicked your ass yeah i think that would have bent you over and pulled your body that also would have that would have been impossible to explain it was i need to emphasize like honestly you would have been able to i would have gotten away with it because i was in a completely different outfit like i could have been like i did go home shower get in bed get in my boxers sure yeah but that would have been bad that would have been maybe the most awkward thing i felt like you called the night like early too i did less than like 10 or

something yeah no because they were uh they were closing yeah i can't remember why i want to speak for our clothes at 11 oh really so they gotta have everyone out of there by 11 i think they were like telling us that the upstairs like closed at like 10 45 and it was like 10 30 and they were just like staring at us the whole time and we're like oh we could just go now funny enough i go to that bar all the time that was the only time i've ever like i'm never there one of the only times i've ever like earnestly closed it down because i feel like i go there for the sunset or get some drinks and then if i'm going out i'll go somewhere else yeah yeah but that was actually we gotta do that again that was really fun i door dash 50 modellos nice you

door dash those yeah how are they cold the fridge i figure you just get them like from like walmart or something oh oh it came from 7-eleven yeah they'll grab them the guy will grab them out of the fridge for you and then after you left max was like you want another one i was like yeah how are you opening those i can't find the bottle opener he's like i've been doing them on this he goes hands it to me and take a sip immediately like broken the glass he like did it on like a just like a table a table thing and he was like i just been doing this yeah here you go i was like you are the man take a sip lip starts bleeding i was like oh oh fuck and i'm spitting out glass he's like oh fuck i'm sorry i didn't have a bottle opener in our uh dorm freshman year because i

think they they were expensive they were expensive but it was also like it would be like paraphernalia also you just like didn't like own anything so we're like using our desk and by the time i left it looked it looked like i was just coming home and like gnawing on my desk every night because it just takes a chunk of wood out every time you that was that was the coolest thing to learn how to do and then immediately just destroyed like all my furniture had teeth marked on it looked like i had a dog yeah well some of that was from chewing and nibbling all right we should uh let's do our drafts let's do it buddy oh wait i had one more thing i want to tell you uh that's how i've been prank calling the telemarketers no prank and telemarketers

i have been getting an influx like every time i open my phone it's just like one of these numbers you know and so i'll call them back and get through to like a salesman whatever and then be like hi you be the telemarketer uh hi is this uh mr featherstone hi hi who's this uh hi this is um qualcomm can you say andrew hi this is andrew from qualcomm andrew can you do me a favor real quick yeah sure anything uh could you suck on my balls and then they get i've gotten a varying range of whatever i called one a grifter that can you suck on my balls you grifter and she goes just put yourself on the do not call list you fucking asshole and i was like how am i the asshole here but i filmed i filmed i can't wait for it to go wrong one day jack it's me

honey can we watch a new number there was one guy who was super sweet and i felt bad and he goes oh i did not not see this going that way and i go could you please stop calling me and he goes yeah have a nice day but most of them get really mad i felt such an asshole wait can i andrew can i call you now too oh yeah yeah hello hi uh is this mr denellan yeah who's this hi this is andrew from qualcomm um is there any way um the chargers could play at your office um yeah i could uh i could call up uh mr herbert and and see if we can make that a possibility um would you like mrs beer in that um proposal as well um i don't know i'm having a weird day and uh where are you located chargers your butthole start crying i hate you i hate that i

have to do this because that was the old charger yeah it was welcome i guess that's why i was thinking of it do this qualcomm qualcomm qualcomm i i'm sure there are lots of nice telemarketers out there it has i don't know what i did for my number to be on it but i'm like i just want to say hurtful things to them i want to say herbert herbert herbert herbert they're like all right all right should we do it yeah yeah can i do it yeah come back and say herbert oh this is randy with the debt enrollment center who do i have the pleasure of speaking with herbert

oh herbert how are you doing today good how are you good thank you for asking What state are you currently located in? I'm in California. Okay, and do you currently owe $8,000 or more in credit card debt or any unsecured personal loan debt? Herbert. I'm sorry? Herbert. Yeah, I was asking, do you currently owe $8,000 or more in credit card debt?

Yes, I do. Okay, does that total up to $8,000 or is it right under? Over. Or 8,000? Yeah, we could go ahead and help you out with that now. Sorry, who is it? What's your name, sir? Randy, I'm one of the agents here.

Could you do me a favor before we get started? Thank you for calling. Fuck. What? Wait, why did he hang up? Because I probably have already called them and they have talked about. Wait, what happened? when i said can i do you a favor he just hung up because i'm sure it's the same guy and they're

like there's this guy that keeps calling us back and saying can you do me a favor so i thought you were doing the bit where you just said herbert for every answer he was going to he was going to hang up regardless i wanted to get to the point where i can say suck on my i didn't want like i feel bad for randy like he probably just like got that job and he could do any other job yeah he probably needs money and the benefits are probably really good but him him wanting money or him needing money doesn't mean that he can like scam old people on the phone there yeah i mean i would it's possible it's real i guess all right would you like to do ways to cover up the herbert prank and you went rogue i know i did go rogue i i'm like addicted

to telling them to suck my balls we all have our vices uh willie would you like to would you like to start with ways to cover up a fart or slang words that don't exist um hmm why don't we do slang words okay yeah these are even more slang words that don't exist a lizard tail this is a guy that you can try to cut out of plans but he will find his way back into hanging out with you nice total lizard tail i like that uh denim freckles are the drops of pee on your pants when you put your penis back in too early that's awesome that is awesome uh a wood wallet okay this is a uh a guy who is completely stuck in the past you're like do you think he can figure out how to sign up for this i was like dude he's got a wood wallet

i like that i thought it was going to be like uh he'll never pay for anything because it can't open i don't know okay yeah i like that one wait but how does that make sense i don't know i don't know it doesn't even doesn't make sense you can only pay for old things uh i don't know if this makes sense but moonburn is the uh wait moonburn is the pain you feel the next morning if you stayed up too late drinking like you're you're out your face is maybe a little red you're like i got i got moonburned from staying out too late last night yep i like that a lot uh no you don't i do moonburn tall hat this is something that is looks nice but it's going to bring a lot of attention

you know yeah so it's like it's like do you like this like is it weird if i wear this new shirt or a bit of a tall hat or yeah it's a bit of a tall hat but i like it yeah yeah uh all right make moonburn last i didn't think it was that bad author author the person coming up with the plans for the night like what are we doing tonight i don't know will's the author he'll tell us i like that like he's writing the story he's running yep uh all right judy ways to cover up a fart yes i realize i only have one of those right now but i'm gonna i got this i had a slang um between a rock and a hard place you could say i'm rock hard right now or actually actually don't use that don't use that one you know what

you don't have to tell me twice don't ever tell me twice to be rock hard i think that could be misconstrued okay do it well these are ways to cover up a fart you start the ymca and when everyone claps on the a you fart yep you yell help um you blow a raspberry on someone else's tummy right as you're farting so they kind of cancel each other out yep you say really you want me to fart okay then it feels like someone else made you do it that's awesome uh kind of similar to the ymca one you start the stomp stomp clap from we will rock you and then when everyone's doing that you fart on the clap again yep you beat the shit out of a homeless guy right as you're doing it totally takes the heat off of you you could make fart noises all day leading up to it

so when you fart out of your butt people just think you're doing it with your mouth again yep you beat the shit out of a guy with a house while you're doing it it totally takes a heat off you can I do this one you beat the shit out of a guy who's between homes while you're doing it

beat the shit out of a guy who's leasing yeah renting alright you should put what you said in the clip okay I'm gonna cook that one up that was good

Alright Do we want to do this guy or X or should we just Uh I'm kind of into crunchy So I'm just about to add Alright we'll see you tomorrow boys Later love you guys The green M&M is no longer wearing her sexy boots She's now in sensible sneakers

You love the conservative talking heads Sorry I'm just He said you love the conservative talking heads And that was making me think of like oh like this one's in a white time or something this must be this must be the this must be the race and the days go by and the minorities get targeted this is not my wife this is not my beautiful house this is a melting pot of culture burning down the house still kind of works yeah they're burning down burning down your house if you're black

i was thinking like the house of rats it's it's oh my god i'm just like rigging elections in the house creating unfair districts that reduce competition in the house Oh, my God.