Will & Rusty's Playdate - how to ruin a best man speech w/ ryan micho

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

Ryan Micho of Krab Videos joins the boys for an epic playdate. They play an NBA prank on Lauren, start beef with Ted Danson, and recap Wily’s performance of Defying Gravity at a Nashville karaoke bar. Ryan also pitches the brilliant idea of solo rider lines at restaurants, Rusty claims the Loch Ness Monster is really just a whale penis, and Will recaps Dry January. Finally, they pitch band names that don’t exist and discuss the best ways to start a best man’s speech. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod FOLLOW RYAN: https://www.instagram.com/ryan_micho/ FOLLOW THE MICHO BROTHERS: https://www.instagram.com/krab_videos SUBSCRIBE TO THE MICHO BROTHERS: https://www.youtube.com/@krab_videos BUY OUR BUILDING DEPARTMENT SHIRT: https://almostfriday.shop/collections/playdate-pod/products/building-dept-longsleeve HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/playdate TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL.  THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY BETTERHELP. IF YOU’RE THINKING OF STARTING THERAPY, VISIT HTTPS://WWW.BETTERHELP.COM/PD FOR 10% OFF YOUR FIRST MONTH AND GET ON YOUR WAY TO BEING YOUR BEST SELF. HEAD TO https://rikispirits.com/ TO FIND OUT WHERE TO GET RIKI NEAR YOU. FOLLOW @FRIDAY.BEERS AND @RIKISPIRITS TO STAY UP TO DATE WITH UPCOMING RIKI CONTESTS AND GIVEAWAYS. 00:00 Intro 08:56 Pranking Lauren 19:15 Night Terrors 22:45 Karaoke 30:30 Heckling 37:56 Living in LA 41:34 Light Sabers 51:26 Roadmap 53:01 Pitch Submissions 01:08:42 Pitches 01:14:09 Prank Call 01:18:03 Teach Me Something 01:25:34 This Guy Rocks 01:30:49 Ways to Start a Best Man’s Speech 01:33:23 Band Names that Don’t Exist 01:35:04 Whose Personality are you Stealing? #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

as always playdate is brought to you by triple the original high seltzer redefining the party landscape playdate we're here with our good buddy ryan micho micho micho micho oh for two oh for two tough start is having a is having a name a last name that doesn't have like a uniform pronunciation it's increasingly becoming an issue yes like it's almost like like i have you ever had to deal with that yeah i was gonna say you know donald yeah everyone says donald people have been like close friends of ours said that yes at one point or donald jerry my roommate spelled my he does the editing for like the almost friday tv sketches and in the most recent one it says my name on the screen it's like will danelle and he spelled it wrong

at what point do you correct your friends because there are quite a few relationships where i've gotten to the point where i'm whatever you want to say that's what my last name is yeah i i don't really give a shit honestly how how far off would it have to be yeah it would have to be like outrageous it'd have to make me think that they think that it's angus or billy or something you know what i mean too many wills in my cert my orbit as long as they know it's like d this is something that we've discussed is how many wills work at this company yeah i think wait tell them what i was gonna say tell them about the thing where they just refused to put your name on the live show thing oh yeah we like we like well you came to the live show yeah yeah uh wait which one

in new york you know the la yeah and like the last run in the fall they listed chet collins on all of them so it kind of made sense because i had taken over when he had used to do it and then i was like made a stink and i was like hey in the spring can you please make sure like it's my name instead of his because it was weird like i wanted like my family to come to the shows and i would like send in the link and then my mom was calling refused to come yeah exactly they were calling me like you're not on here and i was like no i'm gonna be i'm gonna be there anyway and then they do the spring one they think you're like lying yeah yeah literally that's so sad will's lying about being in the show just trying to like trick them into buying tickets to my friend's show

anyway then they for the spring i'm like please get this right they release all the tickets and every link says rusty featherstone which i've never done i've never done live i've never done comedy in general let alone like a live show yeah that's quite an egregious error to not correct we're also just different guys yeah and so i said to me i was like that's a different guy was it was a picture of you his name yeah oh that's even worse yeah it's not even like they knew who i was either it was they don't know who either of us are was it an internal company thing whatever they lost the future client i'm going to fucking wme that's great future striking you lost my business buddy guess what i uh i work with all my roommates work at

one of the two agents one of the uta or wme you won't say which they just come they they just come home and two of them are twins and they work at like rival agencies that's a tv show and they just beef about it it's like it's like the sharks and the jets do they wear like in the house yeah they don't i don't think either of them own a suit apparently that is not a thing at agencies anymore they all they all dress like like rappers do they all like to talk about how they don't wear suits and we're a chill we're a chill we're a cool we're a cool agency they got like they have like a like you ever like you know like the modern offices that have like a big keg of beer like here it kind of makes sense but like right like ad agencies will

have like yeah draft beer yeah like a ping pong table this morning i asked for water rusty well circumvented the entire office can find a single water for the record i'm very dry and high i'm very i'm fine i'm fine i just thought i thought i got some tap water i very confidently was like can i get you anything like we had access to you have to you have to be pretty positive you have the basic one if you're gonna be like can i be anything please say beer please say beer We have ginger ale. We have every soda imaginable in here, but not one drop of water. We have draft cold brew, but it's left over from the previous tenants.

So I don't really know what is used. I don't know if it goes bad. Our landlord popped over yesterday. Have you met the landlord? No. Okay, picture a guy who's completely clean, but has the dirtiest hands in the world. That's awesome. And is holding them out like this.

So he clearly just did god-awful things with his hands. And he walks around and he just goes... And I was like, what do you want me to do? He was like, the roof is fine now. I was like, it doesn't seem like it's fine. And he was like, tell the boss man the code is like 00... And just like rattled one off and then left. I was like, the code for...

And then I went and relayed the information to Edge. And I was like, the code is 0054. four is it a code for the roof or is it a code for an issue with the roof that happens frequently we got a code zero zero five four up there and edge is like fuck really he knows like sure he's hit five four he knows he pulls out his gun wait no it might have been five three we gotta clear the office he knows the roofer's code uh wait i like feel so bad that you don't have water no no no no i'm fine i thought about it there was a giant thing of sparkling lime water that's such a different thing if i request water would you have said anything

no i'm i'm good i don't i don't i thought it was just funny that i didn't know it was capable of building to have no water i always tell i always feel like it's a hippo violation tap water yeah yeah but it's yes thank you thank you different you know it's different you're not supposed to drink he like he he's like a huge i like claim moral high ground for it it's weird yeah he like thinks he's better than everyone exactly it's like a yeah well la tap water is definitely fine i'm not i don't think that ryan and i're saying it's not why it is embarrassing to offer that to her like i don't that's what i'm like can we even do we even want to keep if i give you like our tap water is not even cold yeah if i give you a lukewarm thing of tap water you would probably

walk out it's do a different podcast the only reason i claim moral high ground is that in this office people go fucking ballistic when the water cooler runs out like it is like fucking people are like throwing shit because we know screaming and like messaging and slack and like it happens every i don't think you're like allowed to have an office or like i think that's a building thing yeah like make the people be here if there's no water to drink how active are you guys in the in the slack he for a very long time was like i can't get it on my phone or computer and we're like what it was on it was the perfect crime was that a storage thing or what do you mean you can't get it's not it's blocked i still can't get it has to update his i looked into it he has to update

his mac os what do you want what os are you on one no he's like he's like one behind but he has no free storage he has so many like documents and shit on i don't know it's like like yeah what the hell i'm not not to put myself down but like what kind of documents do i like documents are like so small to have enough to fill your computer i have millions of files and will was like like you just have to get rid of like enough of these files to be able to do the up the update yeah and then you can get the new slack because they update you have to have the new os to use it it's and i told him that he was like i can't figure it out and i'd like pretty quickly figure that out i was like all right here's what you got to do and then he was

like oh yeah is that full where you can't update it's definitely giving you issues there's no way that that thing's running smoothly i don't have a left shift key sure can you hear your laptop when it's running if i so it depends on how many things i'm trying to do but if i'm trying to do more than one thing on it it sounds like an aircraft carrier but if i'm like if i'm just typing away on the notes app i mostly only use my laptop for the notes app and spotify it's essentially a piece of paper it's it's yes it's it is a notes app that i use it's a piece of paper that plays a piece of paper honestly it's a magic piece that's a pretty good business idea wait tell me that thing you were saying about rain earlier that she was sick

i had one more thing i wanted to talk about yeah so um this is will and i like to use this opportunity as just like we like make a guy listen to all the things we were thinking about yeah but yeah we were talking about this earlier you you were part of this conversation i don't know why will teed it up like it was a secret thing no it was just that shit you were saying so where'd lauren go oh he's probably getting water if i had to guess what we should fuck with her oh yeah what do you want we always prank her what do you want to tell her what do you want to tell her yeah like someone dies yeah family emergency tell her tell her you're a kennedy okay that's fun that's fun yeah all right um but yeah we were talking about this earlier and i for i think we probably

got enough playmates that there's got to be one weatherman that listens right uh yeah actually every time we talk about like a profession there'll always be a comment it's like well i'm actually a welder and i'm always like wow we have more yeah weathermen are we're maybe on on from i'm from like a small town in upstate new york weathermen are celebrities in small towns so you're from cape cod a small town called cape cod oh yeah you're you're right yeah i need a little bit of backstory i don't know anything about your dad your dad is um tag robert no that's a romney your dad is mitt romney my dad's my dad's mit romney okay no but she's seen new girl and that's like a plot of new girl what is he pretends to be tug romney oh yeah well i'll

take a different name your dad's uh newt gingrich your dad your dad was finals mvp in 2006 for the nuggets that's good yeah yeah so you were just at the all-star game because i was at the all-star visiting my dad he lives there um yeah yeah but we were what we were saying earlier if you're if you're a playmate weatherman or weather woman let us know the answer to this question if there's a snowstorm you can very clearly be like there is six inches of snow on the ground but if you're watching the news and it's raining they go there's we're getting eight inches of rain but that is completely dependent on like what cup you're catching it yeah like so it's like if i'm catching it in a sheet pan i have one inch of rain

but if i catch it in like a like a erlinger flask is that a thing whoa it's crazy that you pulled out the first name of that what flask again it was like when babe ruth like pointed at the that he was gonna hit a home run like calling my but like erlinger flask erlinger flies erlinger how much do you think this goes for an amazon an early millions of dollars there's only one great birthday gift i don't know i definitely pictured the h as well erlenmeyer flask i was i was closer though there is a market for the erlinger flask because it doesn't exist right flasks that don't exist um but like yeah lauren do you understand what we're talking about no i was gone yeah i guess that's the joke well no i was

trying to go find you a water i like that's okay i don't need water by the end of this i'm like very clearly like my voice what's the argument like rain how do you measure the inches actually for once this isn't even an argument i think we're all on the same side of science just trying to figure it out i guess it's maybe within whatever radius that they say it's going to be raining in right that doesn't make any sense at all container oh with when they say it's like one to three inches yeah it's like well if i'm catching it in a sheet pan yeah well what if they what if it's like the radius where it's gonna rain and then they imagine if there's like a wall around that uh that's that's just an idea using rain that feels incredibly arbitrary

it's just a fucking cup kind of is an erling meyer flask the amount of rain that fell in a specific area would cover the ground yeah but like that is just isn't that's not representative of actually how much like i'm if it's like there's eight inches of rain i'm expecting to be shin deep in rain but that in reality that's just like it fills a cup there's a cup's worth of rain outside that's yeah or something we do uh episode 80 see if you can episode 80 so it's episode 80 what we do is yeah they try they try to guess an athlete that wears 80 or an 80 year old uh danny amandola okay danny i think that's right it is right on the patriots oh wait he wore it yeah he wore it okay damn he kind of wore a bunch of numbers

he wore 80 good good find show me wait we already did it yeah but well i wanted to try one malachi corley like a pokemon It wasn't even close Wait he doesn't wear 17 that's Garrett Wills Or it used to be Garrett Wills His old number 14 Show me Ted Danson

Ted Danson I thought he wore 15 And then we'll get a number And then his jersey number Do you watch that new show he's in his ass What the fuck man You just like slammed him for no reason What the fuck did Ted Danson do to you?

You know what I'm talking about? It's like a murder mystery. Oh, in The Retirement Home? Yeah. I haven't seen it. I've seen the, when you go on Netflix and you go past it and it starts playing in the middle of the show. I've seen that.

Wait, what happens? It's like critically acclaimed. Like the preview. The preview. Yeah, look, A Man on the Inside is one of the best shows on TV right now. Oh, when you're hovering over it. Dude, whenever I'm scrolling to find somewhere, I feel like I'm in a race against time because I don't want to like watch the preview.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I have to be like, no, no, no, no. Is that on purpose? it's the most annoying it makes you scroll through them faster because it's like oh they know we hate it and go ahead and show me they would be able to hook you yeah bird age oh that's actually wow i'm gonna stop that was not very good does your dad know larry bird like have you met him i haven't met him but i'm i'm sure he knows him that's sick have you uh have you met gotten to meet any other cool like

nba guys because your dad oh your dad played in the nba yeah oh cool yeah uh yeah like well now it's a lot of just people in the front office which is like more so what i'm into yeah lord his dad was finals mvp in 2006 i don't i don't know anything about okay imagine the the team that wins the championship his dad was the best player on that team he dunked on alan iverson to seal the win that's it sounds very cool sorry we're guessing he talks about it a lot yeah we have a mini hoop and he'll he'll reenact it that's so funny he's like get that yeah was he hard on you with sports because yeah he wouldn't let me play basketball i had to play um it was a lot of like table sports table sports yeah backgammon well like like ping pong and stuff oh oh that's

funny is there like does he still feel bad about when he poked the guy's eyes out like publicly yes joking what should i not have brought that up yeah be like that'd be like like remember your dad's darkest day at his office i mean i feel like he owned it like he just kind of stuck both fingers through oh is that gouged the guy's eyes out in the finals This is a prank He wasn't even looking You got MVP'd Oh so your dad didn't play it

No my dad's a teacher Oh I would have just But he was the finals MVP Teachers are actually the real MVP It'd be funny if like He's a guidance counselor For middle schoolers His chants were so good at the game

That he was like the first fan Finals MVP he made such a big impact on the game is that what you guys said you were gonna do right when i walked out yeah well we originally we landed on that we were gonna say he was a kennedy and then we were gonna say he was a romney and then i realized that that's a plot of new girl and you've seen new girl so you probably would have put that together um so what are you up to just tell me everything man yeah what's going on here hmm i've been sure speaking of biking we bought a i bought a bike and i've been looking to get

into it city biking is just not pleasurable at all no stop and start you know yeah oh yeah we live on beach so i go we live on beach we have bike at my house bike on beach i don't have to stop i can get here that is a luxury yeah that's why a lot of people buy beachfront property because of the biking opportunities i chose to rent yeah this podcast is brought to you by triple triple is the original high seltzer with three milligrams of thc and just 15 to 20 calories triple offers a social buzz similar to that of your favorite hard seltzer light on calories high on life it's all natural gluten-free and again just 15 to 20 mother effing calories i like to enjoy my triple in a multitude of ways i like to

crack open one take out of my plane and flight simulator play with that maybe go pet some dogs hang out have a second one hell maybe even crack a third uh they're low cal i feel like we don't talk about and i know i say it every week or twice a week however often i say it 15 to 20 calories is insane. That's like essentially nothing. Uh, when I have yesterday, I drank 12 beers for a video and it was 1,440 calories. If I had 12 triples, I'd be tripled out of my gourd, but I would, I can't even do the math. It's so small. Triple is born from a desire to blend THC social buzz with the social ritual of sipping on a seltzer. Triple is currently available at Grocery stores, liquor stores, bars, and restaurants in Missouri, Kansas, Iowa, Louisiana, Georgia, and Florida, and South Carolina.

It will be available in Illinois, Arizona, and Ohio by the end of the year. Nationally, it is currently available online. To get it now, go to drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE to get 10% off your order. That's drinktriple.com and use code PLAYDATE for 10% off that order. Triple, redefining the party landscape. let's get back into the episode i i was uh i was thinking about this thing that happened to me when i was a kid the other day um do you ever like you know when you like wake up in the middle of the night and you're kind of like half asleep while you're going to the bathroom like you like get

up to like pee in the middle of the night and you're like not fully there my bedroom window faced out like into like the driveway where all the cars would park i'm explaining what a driveway and so i was like cars where they do what there were like these lights that kind of like lined the uh it's a runway walkway from the driveway there and it like would kind of backlit the cars whatever what the hell are we doing i'll explain it it's like i just i'm painting a picture for you and i was peeing and i was looking out the window and i kind of come to and there's a guy crouched like next to the car like staring directly at me and i'm like frozen now because the middle it's like two in the morning and like last night no no when i was a kid in maine which

is like this kid it'd be one thing if we if it was here because like people live here but when you're in maine yeah there's a guy in your driveway like how did he get there and so he's like crouched and we're in this like stare off and i'm like oh my god like can he see me because it's a little bit lit in my bathroom was he peeing too no that'd be way more he's like he's like one leg up on the car but he's like crouched in this like most like bizarre contorted way and i'm like that's so terrifying and so i like i'm trying to get out of the window but i'm like if i lose sight of him then he could like run to the i don't know in my head in my head it was like this guy's gonna burglarize our house until we stare at each other for literally like 10 minutes and then

i kind of like my vision gets a little clearer and i was just staring at the tire of the car and the wheel well looked like a guy crouching and i had to like do some re-evaluating it was like i like the logic that your gaze holds him in place as long as i'm looking at him you can't move i do this until sunrise i think i'd just seen that trailer for the movie where it was like you of the guy who's like home alone peeping out of the box and like if they look away he can like move i feel like a horror movie yeah look up like guy in box can't move it's the creepiest thing in the world actually maybe don't google that it's like just like mine mine videos go to images yeah he's trapped in a box

oh yeah what in like as long as they look at him he can't move feel the christmas you open that up but what are you what are you doing i'd be returning it wait wanting it down why don't they want him to get out of the box is he bad i mean he doesn't look good i can tell you that much rude yeah what's like the premise what's in the box the guy gave him a box one of his friends gave him a box and was like do not take your eyes off this and then he like leaves and he leaves his wife with it and the guy's like no that's a bad friend spawns a presumably fully naked wet middle aged man who pursues you presumably naked do we see that he's naked or is it just presumed he's he's presumed naked he's gotta be naked innocent until innocent until proven naked yeah oh wait

it's just clothed until proven naked huh all right that's like a weird movie i guess it's 15 minutes we just sit here and watch uh will and i did karaoke the other day yeah what time of the day middle of the night okay um did i say day no i was just curious oh yeah no daytime karaoke is not that'd be a good band name we should try that daytime karaoke yeah i think the b team is out it's kind of like a strip club karaoke k-a-r-o-k-e croak you missed an a i missed another a yeah um i took my shirt off oh yeah it was sick and then the guy immediately came up with that hey the bouncer was like no did he wait till after your performance or was it no i like put my hand out and will i think knew it was gonna happen because the second i put my hand out a shirt

just flies into frame i put it on without dropping the mic somehow which was kind of impressive and i didn't get tangled um it did make there was some feedback as he put it on it but uh mid-performance continued mid-performance continued lips of an angel yeah it was actually really it was impressive he was up there with a professional musician doing a duet who was it townsend my friend oh really yeah and so he was like he was crushing it and then you were coming in for like the oh like you were bringing it it was perfect yeah i was doing backing vocals i didn't know he was a musician it makes a lot more like a touring musician yeah people were everyone we were in fucking nashville east nashville which is like where all the fucking

musicians with a bunch of karaoke it kind of ruined karaoke i mean it was still fun but it was like everyone that went up there was so good yeah it's like going to play pickup and then it's you're playing with the celtics and so i go up there i go exactly i go up there to do define gravity yeah the girl the girl next to me was like hey would you want to go up and do define gravity with me and i was like sure i'll be glinda and then i i was just what movie is that you know wicked yeah and i thought i knew the song but i couldn't keep up with like because it's a lot of like verbal like didn't she like kind of shit on you she was like not her she was great and she was like you crushed it like good job and she was very supportive which i needed because

right when i started this girl these two girls come up and they go hey listen if you don't know the words you shouldn't be up there at karaoke like who does that at fucking karaoke it destroyed my confidence i was actually thinking about it in bed last night like that was oh they said it before or after you say like after i like fucked up the first lyric they came up or like hey if you don't know the words you shouldn't be up there oh that's like crazy i know the words and then i fucked up song what's that did you choose that no this other girl was like i'm gonna do defy gravity you want to be glinda which is a pretty small role in the context of that song yeah it's really just like the banter in the beginning yeah but obviously nonetheless an

honor to be asked right i was honored uh did you guys know each other no but she was just like this guy can this guy probably knows glinda yeah exactly she saw my over the head or she thought you didn't know it and she wanted to shine it worked it worked because i was fucking embarrassed like the moment those girls like made me the whole time i was up there i was like i felt like i was letting her down stealing from her moment it was horrible someone who's currently doing karaoke is kind of rude yeah i think that's what i'm saying it's like if someone goes up there doesn't know a single word and fucks everything up i'm not gonna say anything at karaoke that's like the point of karaoke that is funny to criticize she said you shouldn't be up there like you don't

deserve this if you're that's like a mean girl thing from a movie to say yeah i know we're not talking about how you shouldn't be up there right now i was telling will and lauren this when i went home uh for christmas we went to this like one of our hometown bars they were doing karaoke and the dj sang the first like five songs so he like set it up and then just did like a personal concert was like he also djing he was supposed to kind of be like delegating and like giving the other people time and they just back just back to back to back to back back that's a great move um have you ever dabbled in djing either of you no i uh i used to like have my friends actually be doing the djing and i would stand at the board i did that in um

what college was that at we were at some like we were in like umass amherst yeah and i like the guy was like actually djing night and i was like pretending to and uh i like i'm really good pretending to be the dj sort of like a puppet yeah yeah why was that such a horrible night we just got we i just drank too much and then we had to take a party bus back to boston that night oh yeah the guys we were with said you and i were having like just like a bro fest on the way home being i love you so much we're got do you are you you both go into the i love you speech yeah a lot what about an i hate you speech if there's someone you don't really like i i would i would i think we're both pretty good about holding our tongue yeah actually no that's one mention of ted rip

dancing this guy you're like you said new dancing joint that guy sucks i hate that guy um wait what was i gonna say about i had a viral oh oh oh i was gonna i was in a dj super group one time how was that my friend scott it was called dorsal yeah and our being scott do a lot together yeah i mean you know you live with the guy you end up doing a bunch of stuff but our whole thing we'd go fins up to the crowd we would dj like up on the balcony while our friends were down below and then we go fins up and they'd all go like this nice they knew what to do because you're called dorsal yeah and then and then we'd be like when we're about to come out we'd be like chum the waters would you shut off the music to say that like i think we had

someone go up there and say it or i i think this what scenario were were your friends like feeding into this like dilute they were like we will needs this they were enough honestly i think we were feeding ourselves but we chum the water chum the water here comes dorsal i mean i feel like that's it what what do you mean no i guess i just can't picture it i've never heard this story somehow it was just like this was a pretty big part of your life no it was like one weekend were you ever in like a were you ever in a music group uh no no all of my brothers play every instrument i have three brothers i thought you had one i do have one and i have two more on top with that additional yeah you have to have at least one to have three that's true this podcast

you have any sisters zero sisters three four boys yeah that's wow yeah look up what the odds of that are hold up wait where are you from i'm from syracuse new york syracuse uh that's all you got for syracuse yeah jim baham killed a guy fuck him too jim baham killed a guy how drunk driving no it was like uh he hit him on the highway like it was he was not drunk he can't be drunk it was like dark was the guy walking or in a car he like the car was on the side of the road this is i'm pretty sure correct but like the car was like pulled over and they were like trying to figure it on the side of the highway and then jim behind like tried to swerve and like hit him on it was like good it's actually horrible i the reason i thought of that was

that in college when we played Syracuse I vividly remember us all like chanting like Jim Boeheim killed a guy yeah they latched on to that it was honestly in retrospect pretty awful Jim Boeheim killed a guy BC yeah you go to Syracuse I went to the college yeah I went to the college yeah oh nice yeah from there went there earlier my buddy Evan went there Evan ho and water we did this earlier yeah he was like I went to Syracuse like do know jackson woods he was like no wait how old are you i'm 23 oh yeah he's 31 do you thought i was 31 i thought maybe the alumni network i lived with an alumni he has done any networking i thought maybe you lived with an alumni god forbid when you're when you're a drunk college kid and you

get a hold of a piece of information on like the coach of the opposing team or like a player of opposing team and do no fact checking and then just start yelling it at them what were you guys i think we might have chanted dui that's what i'm thinking well that probably probably didn't even clock for him because that's not even about him he's like who are they talking about were you guys in in were you ever like heckle leaders or in high school that sort of yeah we were both the leaders of our super super fan president you know but my one of my close friends grace who like i also did like a sketch group thing with yeah she's great she was also the group leader grace wickham grace rider oh yeah then i don't know her sketches wait who am

i thinking of she's like american high right yes like the curly hair yes okay then i just have her last name wrong who's grace wickham then oh i went to rollins with grace wickham sorry well she's great too i don't think she does sketches she'd been doing them in private she's like how does he know about that he likes them um wait what was it well she too was the leader of her like you know in high school of the the cheering so it seems to be a personality type match actually yeah i think i think this is kind of the career path for the bird the bird's nest or something i think we called ours yeah we uh we got really carried away with it in high school it was like affecting my studies would you prep dude we would like go print out like we'd go to walmart and like

do i got really good at photoshop i like photoshop kids faces onto there was this one kid who i really like that you don't know how to download slack you got and learned and became proficient in photoshop for high school heckling we'd like print out these giant things like put them on the glass at hockey games and there was this one kid who just had a like an uncanny resemblance to kim jung-un but was not asian but they looked so so i put them side by side which if he was asian would be a huge no-no they just looked exactly alike and so i put it that and one of the other moms was like that's racist and we had to go he's not asian and she goes oh i don't know what that is then i don't know what that is either but um i wish you had hockey do you probably hockey too

yeah i did not play but everyone it was a big hockey lacrosse lacrosse was the was the big thing in college because we didn't have a football team and i remember we were walking by the the field was like what division was it do you know are you familiar d2 lacrosse is like a thing yeah it like doesn't exist like people are like yeah it's like you go d1 or d or d3 but yeah d2 d2 is like the kids that what there's just not a lot of them you mean no it's like a lot of the d3 teams like can beat d1 teams like it's weird like toughs like we'll play d1 teams and like beat them so it's like a lot of kids feel like d1 is more d3 is more competitive so we'll go there and it's like oftentimes like the academics are better so you'd go to like baits or like something to you

can still play lacrosse but you're probably getting like a better education but i always thought like ours was like a club team but they like hired a coach yeah well it's like some club teams are are huge as well like they can like beat like we used to like play like florida state and it would be like a competitive game um but i remember walking by the fence of the opposing team and saying something to them and just without a thought because usually they don't they don't even like listen to you or say anything back and the kid was like drinking out of a hose like they had the whatever and he just without a thought just soaked me and i had to be like oh like my words every percussion that's like a real guy on the other end and then like it's

way less funny when you have to like go back to your dorm and like change putting on a new shirt that wasn't worth it that's a great move that's quick thinking yeah without i think he was he probably just got an earful from like the group 15 yards ahead of me and was like if this fucking happens if he says one thing i'm fucking turning the hose on him that was when i was doing like beer reviews too so like imagine playing like d2 lacrosse and this guy's just like chirping your ear off and you're like is that the guy from tiktok that was always odd um you did hey you did it again last night i did it out of retirement rick last night said the funniest thing i've ever it's like the reason i got this job was like sitting down and originally was like sitting

down and drinking 12 beers yeah and rick apparently had never seen those nice guy we work with we were sitting there and he knew we were about to drink a case of beer and he was like have you ever you ever done that before and i thought it was like a joke because i've done it like a hundred times and i was like no and he was like yeah it's gonna be brutal and willie was like wait have you not seen the the beer reviews and he was like no he's like i knew you were reviewing stuff but i didn't know his beers he knew that you were reviewing items but he didn't bother could have been 12 of anything yeah but we did we did this viral show last night cold cases yeah where they solve a mystery while drinking a case of beer have you seen that guy who does it no you were telling me

about this earlier yeah i just can't believe you seem fine i seem i think if i had 12 beers last night i would be you did not you did not have 12 beers no i didn't have any beers um that is insane to be able to come back from that i went the moment i got home from the shoot which wrapped at like 8 8 30 so we probably got home at like 9 i was like oh my god we have a pod at 9 a.m you finish 12 beers by 9 p.m that's a tough time slot yeah they were like getting mad about timing it was hard like they were like they were like freaking like kate was like texting me like we gotta get this moving faster and i was like i don't know how to be like drink um yeah i honestly it's i think it's probably a bad thing that i can bounce back from that yeah um you'd like to

become worse at that you yeah that would hopefully be a thing you're not good at i i've done it i've just done it a bunch of times what are your what are your solutions and when you wake up in the morning and you're feeling terrible a lot of people like try and do it with like food and like like i think you need to steer clear of the like on paper hangover cures i usually wake up like drink as much water as i can try and fight through it i don't think i don't think you should i don't really like taking aspirin or anything sometimes that makes it worse like a spicy food yeah if i didn't have work are you serious yeah yeah that's the move are you serious yeah once you get over it a little bit like a spicy chicken sandwich like yeah fucking head

That's crazy. Once you get over the initial, you need to get through the first hour, and then you're fine. If we didn't have work today, I would take an edible. Yeah, that's the real solution. If you just get high, you immediately are not hungover anymore. 12 edibles. 12 edibles.

Take 12 edibles, and then you should be good. Yeah, Anthony Bourdain used to say, smoke a joint, have a Coke, eat spicy Szechuan food, which I don't know what that is, but sounds good. where do you live i live in santa monica oh nice yeah i live like well i'm not gonna say where but yeah yeah ryan and i were texting like initially about like the possibility of coming i was like hey man if you're ever if you're ever in la like you know we'd love to have you on the pod he was like i have really good news for you i live right next to you do you like it yeah it's great it's way better than and you know like i'm saying new york which is cold yeah i feel the same way about

boston i like it here way better than boston are there things you miss about living in new york hmm well like my entire family's there so it'd be good if they all moved here i think if they could all just move here that would make things a lot easier do any of your brothers live out here besides i live with my brother aiden and then my brother my older brother kyle lives in woodstock new york and my youngest brother brenny goes to penn state so no uh uh we are brendan we are brendan it's true yeah the penn state edge he comes out of new york he's like is he jamming around yeah he plays music that's yeah you as do you top three music notes let's hear them yeah what's that one do you have perfect pitch willie has perfect pitch are you for real

yeah no why don't you just go along oh i'm sorry you wouldn't know uh sharon sacks said i did when i was little but i think but then she removed it yeah i yeah i don't really know what do you mean she said it when you just off the cuff sharon sacks once told my mom when i was little she's like i think will might have we're throwing around sharon sacks is this a name i should know this is my friend scott haddon's mom okay her name that was just because for example you said rick no last name why does she have a different last name than scott she never took the last name do you see trump's trying to make it so that if your name doesn't match your if your driver's license doesn't match your birth certificate last name then you wouldn't be able to vote so like women

who took their husband's last name would no longer be able to vote unless they brought their marriage license so you'd have to like bring like wait is that insane caitlin post i learned so much from caitlin because she hates trump so much that i she posts everything bad that he does on a daily basis and i have to be like whoa this guy's on fire what about like like meta world peace ricochet shot what did meta what did meta say it changed last night it's world it was not world peace at birth yeah wait oh oh oh i thought you were like saying that he was he's running for president meta world peace that guy's dumb as bricks have you heard a runner test interview lately uh remember when he elbowed james harden in the head why are you allowed to do that if

it's in a sport but like if i elbowed a guy on the street right through that i'd be in jail yeah should we roadmap it up that's a myth busters right there well what what's a myth buster can you elbow someone in the head on the street versus If you can convince a guy to play pickup basketball You can assault them That's a good point actually That'd be funny if you're beating the fuck out of a guy But your right hand is dribbling a basketball

So the cop's like Once he loses his handle of that ball Your ass is mine Or like football too Especially football Hitting someone with a hockey stick The cop's like are you both playing or just you Both of you playing

Yeah Yeah, he's playing. Did you guys play lightsabers growing up? First of all, did you play lightsabers growing up? Of course. And then did you ever get hit on the hand with a lightsaber? Oh, look, we got you a water bottle. Did you fly this in?

Yeah, we flew that in. Paige, where did you fly it from? Oh, my gosh, thank you. From Ottawa? Oh, Paige, I saw your doppelganger on the way into work today. I almost said, hi, Paige. And then she turned her, well, yeah. Yeah, that's okay.

We got no water. Yeah, dude, the Sisslemans had the really nice ones. The Sisslemans? What are you talking about? They were my neighbors. Oh, I thought that was some custom lightsaber brand. Sizzleman lightsabers?

It's like Ollivanders for Sizzleman for lightsabers. They had the really nice ones and they let me and Garrett go in my garage and turn off all the lights and play with them. But they were so nice that you had to kind of be like... Because you're worried about shattering it. I had those dog shit ones.

You have like... Going like this to try to get it to... Have you seen what's next in lightsaber technology? what they're cooking up over there? It's insane. It's getting crazy. Really? We're like almost there.

That's so awesome. We're so close to cracking it. I love Star Wars, yeah. Have you seen Andor? No. I'm like, I just haven't watched any of the new stuff.

I'm spreading the gospel. It's the best show I've ever seen. People say that it's genuinely good TV. Imagine Ted Danson was in it. I was fucking coming off. You really slammed Ted Danson earlier. I think his new show's dog. Shit.

What else is he in, though? Was he from The Friends or something? Cheers. he's a bartender and cheers he trains woody harrison did you know he um he actually went to bartending school like before that to like method to get good at it and i watched a video of him he can curve a glass around the bar so he like would slide it and it like curved and went to the right guy that's part of bartending school pull up ted dancing pull up ted dancing bartending that's just for show every bartending school got that one show ted dancing sliding

glass. I used to go to Cheers Bar. Cheers. I've never seen it, though. You used to go to Cheers Bar? Yeah. Is it a real place? It's in Boston, yeah. Alright, one second. It doesn't look anything like the bar on the show in the interior. So it's just the exterior? Yeah. You just go to the exterior? Alright, wait.

Pause it for a second, Lauren. It kind of looks like it, I guess, but not really. Watch this and tell me Ted Danson still sucks. I just said his new show is for old people. Okay, watch this. Hey, Sammy. This guy over here doesn't believe me about your bar slide, dude. Would you mind serving one up just to save my good name?

My pleasure, bud. Thank you, Sammy. Let's clean this garbage out of here. We're in the runway. Okay, Sammy. I bet Norm's going to go for you. That pour was horrible. Yeah.

The what? The pour. So bad. Is that real? Is that real? Pretty sick, right? Yeah, what a horrible pour. That was a good pour.

So bad. although someone told me you pour like that you get all the bubbles out and then they're not in your stomach dude speaking of getting the bubbles out of your stomach the guy we were with last night you know like usually if you like chug a beer kind of get the burps out like incrementally he would get all of it out in like a 15 second burp after each beer he's the best burper i've ever i've never seen anything like it you gotta like take a breath in the middle of that i'm just gotta break that up it comes up for air for a second um should we road map it up you keep saying this that's what we're gonna do this episode okay sure yeah

this episode is sponsored by better help we often hear about the red flags we should avoid but what if we focused more on looking for green flags in friends and partners lauren what are some of your relationship green flags oh relationship green flags getting along with my friends being just an overall kind respectful person um i feel like i try to emulate that so it's like i want that in a person and a partner yeah what about you i like when they will eat my cooking because i just got into chicken making chicken parm and when they eat it and they like it that's a good one or maybe even they lie about it and they're like they don't actually like it but they're like they know how important it is to me so they do that i think communication is key someone who can express

how they're feeling personally i haven't done as much therapy as others but in the you know short stints that i've had i've realized you know how helpful it can be lauren you've done therapy how beneficial was it for you i have i have not used better help but i did do therapy for six months and honestly i gained so much valuable information from it like i really feel like i walked away just like feeling more confident myself and just overall better a lot of tools to kind of like combat your anxiety and i could not recommend it more better help is fully online making therapy affordable and convenient serving over five million people worldwide access a diverse network of more than 30 000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties

easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost discover your relationship green flags with better help visit betterhelp.com slash pd to get 10 off your first month that's better help help.com slash pd let's get back into the episode lauren how are you doing i'm doing well um you got mvp'd earlier what's new wait why oh yeah no i fully believe that i'm extremely gullible i don't know if you've watched our pranks that they've done on me here's the thing is like i wouldn't call that being gullible like if you told me that your mom was like katie perry or something that maybe like i don't know whatever i'd be like i would believe until i have a reason not to right also this is the first time you guys are meeting so it'd be insane if if laura was like no he's

lying you guys know he's lying right like i will say i was i was kind of embarrassed but i didn't know who the president of china was oh yeah we xi jinping'd her the other day yeah we told her that xi jinping wants to come on the pod and he's a he does the 400 free for china yeah yeah i mean i don't know i just i i'm not i don't like to assume that people are lying to me yeah i think that's a good policy i see the best i see the best in people but then now they've given me trust issues that's right lauren's doing a wig party on saturday are you trying on wigs or everyone else's well yeah everyone's gonna come over and we're gonna to try on as many wigs as we can that's a great idea thank you i like that better she got me all

excited and said i'm having a wig party on saturday okay and then i was like we still on for that wig party on saturday she was like i think we might dial it back to like a pre-game you can't can't you can't downgrade a wig party that's such a specialty party i know we're gonna we're gonna do it eventually we just she was like there's so much planning that goes into it and it was like no there's not you just get wigs you just literally just like tell each person to bring a wig yeah me and my best friend just moved into an apartment together so we were like oh it'll be like a little housewarming but i don't know i think i need well that's good as housewarming too because then you get all the wigs that you need you don't worry about buying wigs right i just slowly i'm like

taking them from people as they get more drunk i'm like oh i actually would like that one lauren got her roommate hopelessly addicted to one of our sponsors which is a nicotine lucy lucy thing I hope her mom doesn't listen to this. No, she doesn't. She's been very addicted to vapes for a long time. And so I was like, I'm going to put you on the loosies. And it's worked, which is good. I hadn't vaped in a while.

You're trying to get back into it? No, I think I'm going to get back into vaping this year. But in Nashville, someone had one. And I guess in the year that I haven't been vaping, they got exponentially stronger. The game's changed. it it people were it feels like someone's handing you like a pistol it's like it weighs like five pounds like a screen on it yeah you see that guy watched i watched a guy uh watched joe rogan clips

on his vape and i was like all right games changed a little but it like they like hurt now maybe it's just because my i've like cleared out any yeah like tolerance to it but what sort of pain like it just burned my throat on the way down which i guess is that's good good but oh i i did i did i relapsed oh yeah oh yeah well did uh dry generate and a couple weeks into february of uh drinking yeah yeah i had my first drink this morning this morning yeah i may have heard it wait yeah so what was your first drink how was it it was a bud heavy oh uh at a predator's game it was at our bar before the predators oh nice um it was great yeah i had fun i did you miss it yeah i mean no i wasn't like it like i wasn't like finally but then like it was fun i had fun

it was the hangover bad i don't really know how was your tolerance like i was like with it that's the thing like people yeah they like i i my tolerance wasn't like fucked by it like i i I wonder how long you'd have to... Is that a thing you just carry with you forever? If a guy hadn't drank for 20 years, do you think he'd have the same tolerance as he did when he was a kid? I don't know.

I mean, I kept my wits about me. I wasn't like, yeah, I didn't... That's how drug addicts die. They'll stop, they lose their tolerance, and then they try and do the same amount they did when they were hopelessly addicted. Yeah, I don't know. It was fun.

and i was fine i was happy with my foray back into it like it wasn't like i didn't go overboard because i hadn't you know what i mean yeah you were uh you were fine yeah um you were you were fine play date episode 80 we have a lovely episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches do you want to do the permitting division of the building no permitting division no i'll do it i'll do it oh okay well i sent two options okay nope then we have teach me something which i have an awesome one i actually solved a mystery that i'm going to tell you guys about not the one we did last night i've been getting really into solving mysteries and then we're going to do everyone's favorite segment this guy rocks

this guy rocks this guy rock today and then we're going to do names we would use if we started a band followed by ways to start a best man speech i was telling i was apologizing to ryan for how much home like we we've set ourselves up for failure because there are a lot of people i don't want to invite on because i wouldn't feel comfortable being like do these nine segments but like for him it was like no i texted him i texted him yesterday like i'm so sorry but these are all did it start out as one thing and it's grown into many started out as just business pitches and then for a while we were adding a new segment like every week we've taken a couple out yeah but like there was a point where it was like this just the set we we've gotten more into bantering before

yeah so if you add an hour of talking to a thing that's already going to take an hour and a half what i think you should do is all these all the things you sent were sort of short response answers i think they should be more essay questions right i like the idea 500 word minimum yeah um all right lauren let's hear some pitches so lauren's gonna tell us some playmates submitted pitches uh you could you're the guest you get to pick which shark you're gonna be oh i don't know the updated sharks can i do og shark cast yeah are there new ones wait what bar barbara mr wonderful mark cuban dame and john i thought that mark was gone i could be wrong i'll take barbara okay i don't feel like i'm gonna be will's gonna be randy

yo dog and i will be i'm gonna be damon today i like that all right this pitch is from noah bandic he says noah bandic bandic and b what's up lauren and the roofians roof is that how you say that rough ruffians oh ruffians i knew i was gonna mess the roofians was what they called my my my click in college so they called that guy with the weird hands walking to the bar okay yeah the roofians are here ruin scat 0054 the roofians are here self-nicknamed great i've got two pitches but one name what is one of the most dangerous things about oh i get it now like roofie i was trying to make a dumb joke the whole time i didn't even think about what you were saying sorry what is the worst or what is the most dangerous thing about road tripping

alone falling asleep getting bored he says swapping between playlists and podcasts trip like while you're driving tripless is an app that you can put in your playlist youtube videos podcast or sports broadcast it will curate a playlist what youtube videos are you watching when you're driving falbo dude he's like is he really yeah it's crazy oh that's i know some people that do this it's insane yeah because well i mean like they're mostly audio based that's true and then they just like glance you want the occasional like yeah i was at a stoplight the other day and there were these kids looking at the like tesla screen and they were both cracking up i couldn't see what was on it but it was like clear they were watching something on it

can you watch it on it they must have like hacked it because they were both looking at it in and like cackling i mean you can make it like your your car has like horns or something right oh yeah Maybe they just, like... I feel like you would have heard that, though. Because of the horn, right? No, like, you can make your car have, like, horns. Oh, what? Like, eyelashes and stuff?

And, like... Oh, oh, you would think they were just, like, fucking around with, like, the settings? Yeah, yeah, like, you know, like, the little... Like, it shows, like, your car on the... You do understand my confusion in that, though. When you said the car... Yeah, you can give your car horns. No, the car has horns.

You understand why that wouldn't be my first thought? No, I can't actually even wrap my mind around why you would have thought that. Okay. You're right. Anyway. I'm sorry. It's okay. I'm hammered.

When I'm on the road, I'm always swapping between Spotify and podcasts like Playdate or other videos. So this allows you to safely and seamlessly go between your chosen inputs with the tap. Get bored of listening to your music. Just hit skip and it'll shuffle between all your chosen media. And then this is kind of a two in one. My second idea, what's the worst part of tripping? That's right.

knowing what to watch based on how you were feeling tripless is an app that uses ai facial recognition to tell if you're having a good trip or a bad trip is this all together well yeah because in the beginning he said it's two pitches but one name so it's like road tripping and then this is about so it's for when you're on lsd driving i guess driving yeah um yeah and watching youtube this is awesome uh tripless is an app that uses ai facial recognition to tell if you're having a good or bad trip it then changes what you're watching based on that having a bad time how about some peaceful nature documentaries if that doesn't work i'll switch it up to try something else to get you back for having a good trip thank you for thank you for your time love the pod keep

up the great work i like that i like the way this guy's brain works because he came up with the name first and then was like let's do both i love both of those i do i do worry about if we launched both businesses at the same time the confusion people would get because they wouldn't know which product they were by uh have you guys ever done lsd yeah no well what i what i think we do it right now yeah 12 the um 12 lsd 12 lsd please um the notion of them being confused that's why i think potentially you lean into it obviously he's got something with the trip right what are other things that you could do with tripping maybe you make you bundle it get like five or six products like on a trip and on a thing on the sidewalk tripping on something on the sidewalk when you're

tripping on a thing on the sidewalk and you want to figure out what music you want to be playing or yeah or it's like a youtube video that floats in front of you so that if you trip you can still brace yourself with your hands it doesn't break your phone yes i'm just picturing being on like the 405 and a car just flying past you with the guy with his his eyes are the biggest you've ever seen he's watching eight youtube videos just drives off we're not far away um all right i love it should we hear the next one yeah okay thank you noah this next one is from sammy dubs sammy dubs sammy says what is the worst part about being under the weather you never know what exactly is wrong with you and you can exactly fix the issue now introducing

the bio beacon it is a chip that is implanted into your central nervous system that detects any issues with your bodily functions organs etc it can detect it can detect diseases entering your body and what you can do to help it it works a lot like a car's check engine lights letting you know there's an issue then running full diagnostics on your body to see what you can do to fix the issue for example the chip will detect low hydration levels will then notify you possibly connected to an app on your phone that you need to drink water this one's great but it's just one of those ones where it's like is the technology there yet yeah well we're high level so we just so that's not really oh got it so we just assume that the technology exists we can let

yeah we can let the you know the engineers figure that out but okay uh yeah i do like like you'd be what is that what i've got sorry you've gunk on you i'm gunked up um oh you're like you wake up after a night out you're like your check engine lights on your like service light you just like everything's like going haywire yeah i yeah well here's my question would you rather know that terrible things are wrong with you or would you rather just coast maybe terrible things are wrong with you but you just don't know i'd rather ignorance is bliss yeah i think if i had that chip there'd be all sorts of like i'm dehydrated i know i'm dehydrated yeah he i think that he used an interesting example i think it would be more for like the flu i just don't really want a doctor

inside me ayo pause am i right uh did you do you think michael jordan had the flu or was it just i think it was food poisoning because they did you hear the story they should they he ordered a pizza and like six guys delivered it and they're like that was like what happened to me yeah my postmates driver handed me the pizza and the tamper seal was ripped off and he goes it should be hot and i had to sit there for like 10 minutes like is this gonna be what did you do did you eat it the whole thing wow i would never it was good i didn't see any poison so okay i feel like i would like this pitch uh beyond health reasons i want it to be like oh you should get a haircut or like you should it tells me when i need to like remember

if i need to go to the dentist or like little things like that i love the dentist oh i'm going tomorrow really yeah dr vu nope do you actually love the dentist no okay i used to want to be a dentist i can see that i did use really short i used to think i was actually my dentist's favorite patient and it like broke my heart when i found out she says that to everyone i'm not i mean i was so i was like yeah dr vu fucking loves me what were you what did you think you were i used to fall asleep all the time when they put the glasses on oh and she would have to like when you fall asleep your mouth doesn't obviously doesn't stay all the way open and it just really frustrated my doctor my dentist as a child i would consistently go to the dentist and have teeth

pulled that were not planned to be i had 10 teeth pulled as a kid like a separate trip so i hated the dentist because there was a relatively good like gravel i think it was like they were just trying to because i had like a weird bite so they were like trying to figure that out instead of Cavities that were like, just get rid of it. Were they adult teeth or baby teeth? I had six baby teeth and four adult teeth. Wait, why wouldn't they just let them like fall out? I don't know.

I remember my sister like learned the slam the door thing. You know, you tie it. They let me keep my teeth, by the way. Has anyone else gotten teeth pulled? They let you keep them. Where do you keep them? I have them in my room. You should put them on a necklace.

Do you still have them? I don't know. Because I was moving here and I was looking through my room. I was like, I still have these. Should I sell them? I think you should get a little thing and glue them on Is that a shark tooth? No, mine

You should get a grill but it's just more of your teeth My sister learned the slam the door thing and I had one that wasn't loose but I think she was just like we gotta try it eventually and it just ripped a tooth out that was like way too early

and my dad was like, whoa! What? I hate that um i got i got like a fuck i fucked i have like a crown on one of my teeth yeah because i like rotted it to its core what were both of you eating as kids it was so much it was yeah i was doing lst uh watching youtube videos as a guy god forbid no me and old mollus found like the stash of gummies in my basement and we took like a whole box when we went and hit we had like a thing under the stairs like harry potter yeah in my basement but like no one ever went in there and we just

went in there and would just eat gummies and leave the wrappers on there so my parents like never found them and then one time they they caught on and they were like oh my god will just ate like 4 000 gummies in like a week and they took me to the dentist i had to get my teeth was like rotted oh yeah so funny you're like diet as a kid i remember just like waking up yeah going downstairs and just eating like five packets of Welch's gummies and then just going to school and making everyone's life a nightmare. Yeah.

What's your favorite, like on your birthday, do you get to like pick your dinner or something? Yeah, I get to. He's an adult. He gets to pick his dinner every night. No, but like at home. They let me dress myself too. Growing up, chicken parm, which is like really boring.

I just learned how to make chicken parm. Really? I really don't want to do this because I am proud of you. No, it looked so good. We're going to put a picture of it here. My world famous chicken parm. He bought the chicken. Pre-breaded?

Yeah. Oh, what? He just heated up chicken. You didn't make chicken parm. You took it out of the microwave. Whoa, whoa, whoa. He cooked on the pan, I think. Or the oven, maybe.

Just because it's pre-breaded doesn't mean I didn't add all the fixings and stuff. You just put sauce on it. Sauce, mozzarella. I made the pasta. I made the asparagus. Okay. When was the last time you made chicken parm? yeah you're right that's why i was like i don't want to do this because i i don't cook i have no

ground to stand on and i it looked good my girlfriend said it was an eight and i still am proud of you but you didn't make chicken parm from the scratch okay let's uh if i had if i had how far back does scratch start like do i have to kill the chicken yeah no you have to buy you have to buy raw chicken breast you have to buy raw chicken breast and then just take on take like ownership of like a whole thing of flour i'm not gonna how much chicken parm do you think i'm gonna make do you know how to do you know how to bread like cook chicken yeah i could have done it so you're capable i would say that qualifies i did it i made it just save time i think i think it's arbitrary to say when scratch starts all right like just because the guy at the butcher

shop put the stuff on it doesn't mean i didn't make it no yeah i agree with you i actually can't talk shit because i probably can't talk shit yeah it's my world famous chicken parm yeah i i had hammered the leftovers last night oh the chicken parm left yeah i came home i had lucas drive my car home parked it i had i both of the spots were taken in the parking garage instead of leaving it on the street i just told lucas to leave it in the middle of the parking garage and i can't i'll show you that we'll put a picture of the note here someone left a note on my car and says park you little shit that's what it's like so you're like you were blocking a bunch of cars no i was like off to the wall people do it all the time but i they

recognized my car and then by the time someone saw it both of my spots were open so it looked like i just pulled in the parking garage and was like fuck it like threw my keys away that's um yeah it was terrifying i used to park in this girl's spot because we just we didn't have enough she didn't have a car yet so i'd park in her spot and then she got a car and obviously i didn't know that and so she left a very nice note that was like hi i have a car now please stop parking here and now she's now she's saying park you little park you little shit is awesome and then there's like there's like hieroglyphics at the bottom like i don't know what it do you have it it could be a language you have it well it was this morning oh yeah i have it somewhere

it's probably still in my car but um it was like they're like it looks like maybe this is like c15 so they like wrote what spot they park in so it's like park you little shit and then like sign like almost like being like i'm not afraid to tell you who i am like you know where to fucking find me c15 anytime anywhere pussy we are stoked to continue our partnership with ricky the best canned alcoholic beverage on the market just got bigger and it got better ricky has a seven percent abv they've just launched There are 24-ounce big boys for you big backs out there with three shots per can, which is absolutely absurd.

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It's vodka and lemon. I think what's so great about this one is you can like pop it open, but then close it back up. Because look how freaking ginormous this thing is. I can't finish this. It's also so nice how big they are because you can just sit down, crack open your drink. You don't have to get up for a while. You can just enjoy it and soak in all the sun. I know.

It's perfect. Head to rickyspirits.com to find out where you can get Ricky near you. Follow at Friday.beers and at rickyspirits to stay up to date with upcoming Ricky contests and giveaways. Let's get back into the episode. All right, Ryan, do you have a pitch? Oh, yeah. You got to give me a minute. I got to pull these up here.

I got a Google pitch. Good pitch idea. Business. Okay, I got a couple. I got three. This one's not really much of a business. But it's more of a concept. Right.

Hit me. So I went to dinner with my roommate, Callan, the other night. And we were supposed to go with, it was going to be four people, two of them bailed. We were at potential to lose the table because it was a four-person reservation. Only two people showed up. Next time you know what to do. Wait, they'll kick you out of your table? I think, like, there have been instances where I've showed up to a reservation.

They're like, if you don't have anyone, you can't sit down. Oh, that's crazy. so because i guess you could just make a reservation for a bunch of people to get a nice table and then just have the booth to yourself yeah it'd be a weird move but i guess you could uh and that's your idea single rider line for restaurants so you're familiar with oh at amusement park single rider line if you go by yourself and you don't have anyone to go with you can kind of skip the line because they need to like fill in spots single rider line for dining if you can't fill

your reservation so you get a rando come to your table it's sort of a gamble you might get a wild card but i like i kind of like that i like that a lot or i like what or it's or i feel like it would turn into like a lot of like single people yeah and stuff which could just go there and then you'd be at a table with a bunch of people that's cool as well like single you show up and they pair with other singles yeah i like this a lot i like this a lot i do think i would get overrun with like creeps though by creeps like the type of guys that's like like don't have friends and they're like yeah mind if i join that is also i like how you it's still like one person has to put their card down well maybe that's part of the policy of single rider is you you bear a certain burden

such as you have to be the one that takes the entire bill then it would definitely be really sad you take the tip i like that a lot though that looks fun oh yeah we're just like yeah you can like do it through the app and be like i want to go here if a spot open like i like a really high-end restaurant i feel like that's like hard to get a res you can be like if there's one spot open i'll go sit with some random people yeah cool all right what is the worst part about um going getting too drunk when you're out at a bar uh pissing your pants and having the bouncer tell you you're soaked uh hangs eyed in the next morning that's the answer that is the answer uh this is a person for hire you put a patch on and it tracks your bac and when it gets

to if it starts to get up to like the the level where you might be starting to embarrass yourself he'll come to the bar and he'll see if you're embarrassing yourself and if you are he'll do something way worse so that the only thing people talk about the next morning is like remember that guy that showed up and like like pants to every i don't know he can do whatever he wants yeah um and it just it just deflects all the all the bad vibes to that guy is the liability for what he does on him it doesn't fall on you even though you employed they don't they don't know okay he they don't know that you paid this guy so he'll like come in and like if you're like about to say something embarrassing he'll like jump on your table like break it and like

get kicked out and then everyone and then you'll it'll also be a reminder to you be like oh if he just did that i gotta get i need water yeah it's time to go it's time to go home like poops all over the ceiling and like water please the guy the guy comes in like you said you said a guy that that ran and pooped on the bar like hand rusty a water before he did it and he did my gatorade and then rusty went home what's dude i swear i've seen that guy it's like we start to catch on like dude every time rusty gets drunk that guy does something crazy little elf runs in and like rusty was still a huge liability last night but also that guy pooped that was weird but let's go back to rusty yeah he's fucking embarrassing himself dude also that guy pooped but seriously i love

that that sounds like i think you should leave sketch yeah it does yeah willy human backboard it's a basketball game for two people where you you put it on you're pitching one-on-one no but you both get to shoot at this at back at each other you can do it anywhere you don't have to be at a court so it's like a back you strap it in it's like a backboard it's nice and portable with a yeah with like backpack straps it's like a backboard and that you stick your arms through the backboard and then there's a hoop in front too so then they shoot it goes to the hoop you catch it and then you can shoot i gotta picking the ball up would suck because you just no you you catch it you put your hands under when they're shooting

you're also assuming these guys are making every shot well then yeah i mean it's a listen it's a portable one-of-a-kind basketball game there's gonna be some kinks to work out sure we we make another one hockey net that you wear on yeah we're shooting pucks at your face yeah yeah okay so you like it i love it uh yo dog all right should we do our prank call segment oh my god permitting division of the building department ryan if you're not familiar we pretend to be guys from this fake bureau of government called the permitting division of the building department and we tell people that maybe their fences are too high we basically have kids submit their parents that are worried about something on their property and then we call it's a really minor

okay yeah um we told one guy that like he built a deck and it wasn't i guess like he didn't tell the county about it and so we said we were gonna have to turn it into a porch and bring it down on a level and put it in the front yeah they gave a room down there he was like no my parents recently had a garage built and it's abnormally tall in my opinion they've done research and gotten multiple professional opinions because they are we there are weird and strict garage laws in our neighborhood for some reason can the permitting division of the building department please call my mom sarah and tell her it's too tall for the city laws regulations if she doesn't answer please call my dad eric but please leave a message if you don't

get an answer minneapolis minnesota hennepin county oh i know this girl that's crazy i feel she's been a playmate she has been a playmate for a while claim me um can you google how to say hennepin county lauren um what's your favorite artist musical or painting hennepin hennepin county i'm thinking i'm so nervous i like charlie xx love right now which is pretty will you do this one really no fine yes wait oh yeah because you had to do the voicemail last time so it is Hennepin County? Yeah. This is Sarah?

Yeah. Hey, it's Sarah. Leave a message. Leave a message. Hi, Sarah. My name is Mike. I'm with the permitting division of the building department here in Hennepin County. I'm calling because we've gotten a lot of complaints about the garage you had put in.

It's quite tall, actually, far exceeding the legal limit for the height of a garage. uh so we are gonna have to come and uh trim a few inches off the top i'll send someone out some hedge trimmers uh and we will take them down all right take care okay wait try the dad you gotta do the dad please do it come on come on okay fine jesus no i'm talking about three two three two three two through two you do it no no no again i'll do next week okay i don't believe you ryan do you want to do it no it's horrible man i know it's the word it's so anxiety inducing wait that might have been i don't know that was definitely sarah she literally said hi this is sarah

please answer eric Dad's never answered Random calls Also we just give All these people Our numbers It's not a company phone Yeah

Hello you've reached The voicemail Sorry I can't take Your call Don't leave Don't leave this one A voicemail Alright

Alright That was the Permanent division Of the building That lady Also guys don't forget our shirt is uh we made long sleeves okay for this it's they're very fun oh for the permitting yeah that's fun yeah it's fun um you could have one but we don't have any okay but if

you had them if we had one we give you oh my god we also have hats but we don't have a name for you okay we're sold out of hats oh really yeah nice i think there's all one guy um all right should we do teach me something teach me something this one no yes i did wait oh is this about the history yes okay um or or if you want to just make something up that's cool too because he likes to do that sometimes you just make a he just lied last week he just lied it was not he said they found a guy they found a lady underwater for a year underwater alive we're like what um i solved a mystery her hands were totally pruned okay i or have you seen that um like nature guy that's he does all the podcasts and tells stories about his travels

but i think he has a show on like nat geo or something okay he was saying he solved the loch ness monster thing and i believe him did you know that the loch ness monster probably was just a whale's penis the whales will like go invert i'll pull we'll pull it up here in a second or just google there's a whale in lake loch ness like it's not a lock it's a late or it's a or sorry it's not a lake it's a lock which is like a they can get into the they can come in but um and they basically sometimes they'll like breach upside down yeah look it's literally just so at loch ness monster is quote obviously not just a whale penis no the loch ness monster just go to the image and let me tell the story go to the image so as you can see they look identical yeah

when the sun is setting you see this giant pink serpent leave the ocean you're gonna be whale penis yeah you're gonna be like that's that's you know 100 response you're right yeah wait what is can you look up lock mess oh this looks crazy so we're not kind of it's kind of like aesthetically crazy you're gonna say it's weird i kind of like it looks like a tongue does look like i bet it feels crazy wait can you look up loch ness yeah free what no i meant like to touch not inside of you jesus lauren no like the lake like i just want to see what the geographic lake it's a lot that's what i mean i'm it's not a lake why i don't know loch ness just don't put monster okay oh yeah it's a lock in scotland can you look at yeah i know i don't want i want to know what that

means i'm curious look at the map i want a map oh my god it's basically like the ocean bleeds into the oh this is the lock yeah gosh wait scroll out that was a cool way of saying river man yeah it's like a river kind of kind of wow not really that's actually really i definitely thought it was a lake i didn't know that either no but yeah so we solved it so whales are getting in there it looks like a lake i'm seeing lake this no in the photo it bleeds in my lake can be connected to that ocean lake cannot be connected to the ocean like the great lakes are connected to the ocean what are they fed by by like like eventually like but they're fed by like rivers yeah that's what i guess oh but yeah the loch ness monster was a whale penis that's

that's yeah that's pretty damning stuff right yeah what about all the you know uh that was like vice yeah those same guys that go to like dog shows on acid yeah and you i can't believe all these people saying they get paid out for pto oh yeah wait willie and i got a huge argument and he was like so he was like definitively you're wrong and then all the comments were like no my company does if you don't use pto at the end of the year they get paid oh that's cool they'll pay you out for your pto and will was like no one's ever done that that's not a real thing and then all the comments are like no my company does that i mean i think they're all lying no they're not they they all might that'd be such a weird thing to

lie about i don't know i mean it's definitely you're getting the spirit though which is even when you're proved wrong my whole thing is even when you're proved wrong you just are you're not in my defense i looked it up online i asked like our head of finance and our like other boss and everyone was like yeah no that's not a thing anywhere but then so this might be a sort of an internal issue yes yeah well they yeah obviously your our boss doesn't want to tell us yeah other companies do that um all right ryan you want to teach us something yeah my roommate told me this as i was walking out of the apartment this morning uh there's this what's his name it's like mo bomba i just want to be clear one thing about the video i met at the end of the year at

the end of each calendar year not when you leave the company because some of the comments are like when we leave the company yeah but some of them are at the end of the year mo berg he was an mlb player and also a spy oh what really that's insane yeah because like you hear you hear about the people that went like you know served during world war ii this guy was a spy that's weird spy for us presumably yeah i don't think he was going by russian baseball player yeah he was a scout sorry that's what i meant to say he wasn't in the what is it moe berg b-e-r-g that's crazy yeah that guy's obviously a spy that's crazy wow so did he do any important spying uh i think that's the nature of spy work is you typically don't know that's true yeah

was he a pan for come again a pan for the hell didn't clarify just repeated the word wait what oh he's gonna be like it's for cooking what's a pan for okay he keeps getting us with the he got really into what's a henway and he'd be like three pounds i can't believe you ruined it we could have gotten who you can't pan for me more than once a week yeah all right willie teach something teach us something um i've been reading all about jfk so it's a jfk fact okay but e howard hunt who was one of the guys in the watergate scandal yep and one of the guys who like got caught doing it uh for nixon on his deathbed said that jfk was a cia conspiracy like they recorded it but then he was he was just like trying to get people to stop talking about water game yeah

well i was like i was like how is this not like the biggest thing ever but then i was reading that like i think he was like kind of losing his mind towards the end of his life and his sons like were just like telling him like you did this so that they could get like a write a book like his sons like put you know what i mean it's like they manipulated like his that's a great way to use your last words yeah as you're going out just say something crazy insane yeah i want to do that like say something yeah or say i'm gonna spend the rest of my life coming up with the most complex riddle in the world and then have that be my last words so my kids and grandkids are gonna everyone's just like i don't know he was off his he was off his meds um that'd be his third

dude we uh a fun theory i came up with last night is that lee harvey and oswald were three different guys and that's where all the that's why there were three bullets so fast oh interesting yeah you like it i like it i like it really all right just saying no i wouldn't lie to you i wouldn't lie to you yeah uh this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today you're digging me this segment nice cool i like the lack of uh communication between you two yeah did he tell you where this is i'm taking his word for it it's on i slacked it lauren i don't see it well do you want to do yours yeah yeah all right i'd love to can you give a visual for our audio listeners you zoom in a little bit it's a lady who's like a ghost and then pinky bob's gonna

enter the frame and um she kind of just i don't really know what to tell you i don't know why this came on my fucking reels just play it okay i feel like this is gonna get like copyrighted excuse me can you tell me what you heard about propane somebody told me that it burns good but i think that's insane because nothing could compare to my good wood fire so when they say the probate number one i think they're all live so go ahead and burn my wood use it to eat your home it'll fit right in your pipe burn all through then all you gotta do is pick up your and i got a rick of wood that you could acquire because nothing can't compare to that good wood

i think she's selling wood horizontal reel that's the craziest part uh so much to unpack here why is the beginning a journey song and then it's a rap and then it's a so also who's the woman in the background the thing in the background that's i think pinky i did not like that everyone loves that um all right i'm gonna slack this to brian because my thing is not working uh rusty all right this one says my brother made me call ems for his first edible like what we were talking about last time sit down on the couch get yourself some cereals donuts something relax and put on some cartoons or a movie and just lay there and relax because you don't want to you don't want to spend your

time in the hospital right now oh darn it's weed you're not gonna die it's not like you do this prescribed cereal dude the girl that's hysterical the girl ems person was like do you have the munchies yeah she was like cracking up incredibly bright ambulance life do you have the munchies so nice that's actually awesome all right what should i look up um his name is jane r-i-c-h-s-o-n yeah pretty much any of these will do whoa oh wow let's go for that 19.3 maybe or the 15.3 and one of the all right let's do this one okay and then if you want to yeah he's good oh god it's the loch ness monster i will i will watch these for so long like they'll just show up on my page and i'll keep going

this is horrible i love this guy oh i think i might have seen this one he has access to like the strangest materials and like is he an artist you think yeah i think it's like visual art is that a carrot yeah oh he's a banana launch this is like something you would if you were like a parent you would like come home to your kids like they built something on the wall like it flings vegetables across that one's sick oh the squish pickle everything that he likes is like a kind of phallic yeah oh that probably feels good actually no no it does not yeah but you'd like that will you oh and he stuck the landing this guy rocks oh we've all done this one this one we've all done this one everybody done this at least once everybody who

went to college did this shit be honest this is all these are all just a thing that like a child would do if you left them alone yeah me after we put a pickle on the screwdriver me after one coors light oh my god i think this is one of the better this guy's rock yeah this one's this is the only one that had music i find that interesting he's just such a strange cat i just lives i'm curious what his workflow is and his brainstorming process because they're all very different the grocery store every time he goes into the grocery store they're like are you gonna eat it are you gonna do that strange thing with it um all right ryan you were the guest so you get to choose would you rather do ways to start a best man speech first or names we'd use if we started

a band let's do a best man speech okay tee it up for us willy these are ways to start a best man speech we all actually hated katie when you two first met but she's kind of growing on us what do you got i thought it was more conceptual i didn't realize it was verbatim a minor concept so yeah do whatever you want okay perfect so i'm thinking this is after they've been married uh no you're at their wedding so they're about to be married yes live prenup draft a live prenup get with some maybe some crowd work what do we think that we should protect i like that and then we declare a winner at the end it's like an open yeah dialogue uh i i think hit it boys and you point at the groomsmen and they're all like

think that they're supposed to do something i like that yeah um i honestly think it was sad when or wait how was i gonna say this i honestly thought it was sad when you asked me to be your best man because we're not even that good of friends that would ruin me tbh rate and date for all the wedding party. First off, sorry we were unable to make this open bar. That will make everyone there think they either stole

or are going to get billed for everything they drank. I like that. For those of you that don't know me, I'm the guy that just got caught jerking off in the bathroom. I'm also Eric's best man. This is a classic. You tell everyone the food's poison, the antidote is hidden somewhere in the room and you'll reveal it at the end.

She got him hooked. I want to see how long I can cough before they notice. When I met Eric, he was knee-deep in a hooker in Bangkok, but I am very happy to see him settling down. Three of those cakes that people pop out of, all Xs. I don't know where I am right now, and I'm so fucking scared. um i forgot to ride f5th so i'm gonna call with one right now all right come back to me come back to me reveal that you have a terminal illness

to get them hooked once again yes i like that uh for those of you don't know me i've posted all my stats on the wall behind you for you to check out what would the stats be i'm picturing like a like sort of a video game intro or it's like a projector screen that's you like rotating all right i like that should we do names we would use if we started a band yeah i think we should say band names that don't exist these are band names that don't exist hungover daydream gravity cheese hydrogen mom the secret sisters we all know orion's belt right yeah then this onion belt nice i like that it's really close those words are so different so we're building pirates and pilates we're building off the existing ips my yeah i like that i like that uh

plasma rewind scorps his corpse like that the chunks closing stitches the lunar vikings secret joe sandwich Crash campaign Dislocation Naked on command That's really good First class pirates I like that

Alright those are band names that don't exist Ryan thank you so much for coming on Do you have anything you want to plug Uh oh Crap video Crap videos Crap underscore videos also my personal ryan mitchell m-i-c-h-o um i'd like to plug your podcast if you're listening to

this podcast you were gonna love the other episodes yeah where did the name crab videos come from it's an acronym kyle ryan and brendan that's my brothers oh yeah that's awesome i like how in the last waning seconds of the podcast we asked him a question where are you from all right whose personality you're gonna steal lauren oh no don't start with me yeah those guys are awesome go watch the video if you i crab videos is my personal favorite my second favorite sketch channel because i'm legally obligated to say that's close yeah yours are will's world 69 will's world 69 still live not live okay yeah inactive we'll bring it back one day um all right this is our final segment where we say whose personality we're gonna steal for the rest of

What episode is this? Is this a Monday or Wednesday episode? It's going to come out on Monday. This is a Monday episode. Okay, who's personality are you going to steal for the rest of the week? Willie? Ryan? I thought Ryan was gone.

You want me to go? Boomerang? Okay. For this rest of the week, I'm going to steal that Irish guy because I think I'm playing darts next week. What do you mean you think you're playing darts? What do you mean that Irish guy? The guy who's like...

they're like like isn't that like how many darts like 16 year old Irish kid that's like fucking oh that where he's like body is like smaller yeah I don't know he's like the go to darts I think now

I've been seeing dart stuff on my for you yeah yeah I'm gonna steal Hannah Montana's personality because she wears a wig so I'm going to actually plan my wig party wait is it this weekend or saturday no i don't know yes it's saturday i'll come if it's saturday come on maybe i already got people excited about it you didn't yes i did who you posted on store

i posted on my story i already bought a custom wig how much was that 400 he has to be this yeah um please do it this weekend i don't know i also just want to have like a different like persona and like have it be like my alter ego vibe i'm gonna steal emily osmond's personality oh the podcast producer because i am going to what what's his emily husband she plays lily in hannah montana because i'm going to be lauren's sidekick at her wig party which is happening on saturday and ryan of course you're invited if you want to come you are you are invited thank you uh i'm going to take jaleel okafor you know every time we have a guest they do okafor yeah it feels it felt a little bit played out but i thought i would stick to what's

Tried and true. He's going to clean the glass. Scrappy. He's not a 10-day. So he's back in the league. Oh, is he? He's back in the league. Nice.

Yes. Jaleel Okafor. I haven't thought about him since the last Bucks game. Do you like trivia? I love trivia. You want to be on my trivia team? Yeah. We can do Tuesdays at Juneshine.

Perfect. I'm there. This is the part of the podcast where we make a bunch of plans. I'm going skiing next month. I just thought he's got some NBA knowledge, so I was like, you know, that could be an asset. Yeah, I'll be the NBA guy. We got a question wrong about the Jazz last week. What was the question?

What was the third team in the Luka trade? Oh. I put the fucking Nuggets. That's ridiculous. Same color scheme and part of the country. It was that guy with three names. I don't know. I knew that Danny McBride was involved.

Sorry. Nope. Kevin McHale. Danny Ainge. Yeah. I kind of combined. I looked at Kevin McHale and Danny Ainge, and then it's got Danny McBride out of it. Danny McBride got traded for the Jazz.

The Lakers got Luka, the Mavericks got Anthony Davis, and NBC got Danny McBride. That's what you could get. All right. Have a great rest of your Monday. Have a great Tuesday, and we will see you guys on Wednesday for our Wednesday episode. Love you.

I love you. I like you a lot. Lauren, what do you think? Love you guys. Bye. This family is on the brink of civil war. Mobland, the hit original series, is now streaming on Paramount+. We are the Hartigans. Don't know them yet? Then Google us.

From the underworld of Guy Ritchie. Do you want to step up the ladder? I want Cormac dead. Starring Tom Hardy, Pierce Brosnan, and Helen Mirren. Do I have to do everything myself? You want more? I'll give you more! mobland new season is now streaming on paramount plus