Will & Rusty's Playdate - how to run a $1 million lobster scheme | Ep. 248

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

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All right, play date. We're here with New Father, Strider Wilson. I made it. Hit me straight. Are people just having kids so they can watch kids' movies and not feel like a baby? Yes, yes they are. There are things you can do that you want to do as an adult.

You can't go to Disneyland. Yeah, now you've got a kid. I love it when it's like a kid that's like obviously not going to remember any of this. It's all for the parents. It's like we're going to do this thing. And by the way, it's a nightmare to go to Disneyland as a pet. Like going out to lunch, or just going in the car is an unbelievable headache.

Because they can't drive. They can't order. Yeah. And they need rides. And what are the top two things you do when you drive and go to lunch? Drive and eat. Yeah. So, yeah.

At the drive through, like, holding everyone up because your baby won't tell you what it wants. It won't order or drive. So you're just holding up the line and not getting anything. And they don't have language yet. I'm like, speak. Yeah. What do you want? Solid food yet?

Not even close. Gas. Mush food at six months. Right now it's just, yeah. Right now it's just... She's in the gas phase. Dude, babies... Right now she's a gas giant.

Can I tell you? She is a star. That she literally, kids poo and fart and they're so loud. Like, the noises that come out of this kid, like, you would joke around. Like, as a dad, like, all fart loud and blame it on the baby. I get away with it all the time. That's how loud this baby farts. This episode is brought to you by Bearbells.

Rusty, show me your bear bells. Do you ever shit your pants and then blame it on the baby? thousand percent. I shit in her diaper. She's like this diaper. She checked, your wife checks the baby's diaper. It's like clearly a strider side of poop. Do you put your poop in the baby's diaper again?

It's Chipotle. Oh my God. She pooped her diaper and it's just a clear man size diaper. Somehow she turned mashed peas into like a really solid 16 inch log. Some dads like to do puns. And those are dad jokes. Me, I shit in different stuff and have my wife pick it up. Yeah.

And I'm like, got you. That's awesome, man. I poop my daughter's pants. Who do you, who does she like more? My wife, thousand percent. Can you tell already? Oh, yes. Everyone in my house likes my wife the most.

Even the dog? Yes. No, I'm a likable guy. And look, I'm... Well, hang on, we didn't say that. I'm being given the love that I'm okay with receiving. Yeah. I'm fine being second fiddle.

I should be. My wife does so much more than I do. I think you would, you'd almost rather have that because that's easier than your wife being like, does the baby like you more? You know what I mean? If the baby liked you more, you'd have, I think you'd be in some hot water. For rest of you read about that. It'd be like a discussion.

She'd be bummed out about it. Right. But the fact that she knows that baby's all about her, that's the way it should be. Yeah. And you get, she gets the, she gets until like probably eight. And then I think the dad becomes, like, you go, it goes. in phases. I would say maybe even teenager. I would say like, because then like, I don't know, I feel like

sons maybe push more back on their dad. I least I did. I was like, fuck you, dad. I don't want to pin you. And then... Your dad was being an asshole at that time. Totally. Yeah. He has been a biz, dude. He was shit. He was shitting in my underwear and blaming it on me. Well in the middle school. It was genius, dude. It's the best bit of.

It was psychological torment. He wears diapers now. He's that age and so he's still planting them in different places. I'd get to school and I'd find a huge log in my back pocket. And I'd be like, oh my God. He'd leave a note like, I packed your lunch today, son. Yeah, your mom leaves a note that's like, have a great dance school. Your dad leaves a note and it's just a skid bar.

I packed your lunch today. I ate it. Didn't you tell what your lunch was? Oh, my God. All right. So how, when she gets to, like, teenager, how are you going to handle, like, how are you going to handle, like, if she's, like, smoking a doobie or something? That's such a great call.

I literally have thought about this. Dude, I think what a parent does isn't cool. Right. I think I need to smoke so much weed. Oh, you think smoking weed's cool? Watch me smoke this. Check this out. Watch me face this entire blood.

Yeah, exactly. Start talking like, Jiree or whatever to like. Yeah, like full like, like, Marley all day and all day, tell her she's, tell her she's eyey. Yeah, yeah.

Exactly, dude. Oh, oh, you think smoking weed's cool? Listen to this whole slightly stupid album. Exactly. She's like, right, I don't know. And then she, what do you say, why?

Bindam, bindum, dinch. that's a funny like the drugs keep getting worse and you're like okay fuck I don't know how long I want to do opium they check this out oh oh you think opium's cool we're gonna spend the whole weekend in an opium down we're going to Chinatown San Francisco dad's gonna be on his side all weekend oh oh you think doing heroin's cool what if I'm on my side the whole weekend I'm gonna be face down the garden all weekend and then if she's in whatever type of guy she's into like say she's into a bad boy on a motorcycle right i gotta get a motorcycle i got to be a bad boy and then that's lame this is good she comes down for breakfast like the day after getting a bad boy

boyfriend and you're like cooking eggs in like leather assless japs instead of a pan oh my god these tastes horrible they're black i don't think this is real leather Oh man. Oh man. I'm excited to have you guys here. I'm fired up to be here, dude. I'm pretty excited. We were getting a lot of gold before we started recording.

I know, Andrew. I was like saying that for the audience. Yeah, it was all poop and penis stuff. It was mostly. It was. It is funny. In the moment, it feels really good. But if we,

if we played it back, I don't think anyone wants to hear about that seam that goes down some guys' balls. I'm a weird person. You don't have a seam between your balls? Yeah, I don't, I've like, I know it's like a thing people talk about. I don't,

I've never heard. anyone talk about it, but yeah, I have that. Yeah, you have it. It's like, yeah, you don't think about it. Why do you not have? Why do you just have one big ball? No, no, no. Oh, I think we're talking about two different things here.

Or one big sack. You're talking about when you, when you, when you, when you pull your weaning up to a belly button. Do you have two ball sex? What? No, but the seam sort of delineates where each ball. It goes down the middle. He just goes, dude, get a load of this.

Rusty only has one big sack. We find out Will has two ball sacks. You're right. Each nut has their own sack. You're right. It's like clackers. It's the seam on the bottom of your sack. Yeah.

And when it's cold out, then it becomes present. When your ball sack basically becomes one little like walnut. But when it's warm out, it sort of delineates where each ball is. Yes. Yeah, okay. Mine definitely, mine are shaped like a, like a fidget spinner. If it like a, you know, it's like two different, look at me like this, like two different things like this. It's like if you, my penis and balls are kind of like the Celtics logo.

Like the guy with the hat No, no, the clover Yeah, they have a cane and a vest They're wearing those black hands The ASU sun devil Yeah, they have swashbuckle shoes You guys each have a swashbuckle Oh my God, yeah

Mine looks like a long horn Mine's a long horn Mine is Okay, let's think about this What sports logo is your penis closest to? I'm gonna go with the with the clover on the back of the Celtics jersey. Yeah, that's probably good.

That's probably good. Andrews is a minion. It has like a, uh, it's one, his penis is the long part of the minion and then the balls are the legs. You have tight,

you have those thin balls, right? With boots on them? No. No? They're huge now. His balls got huge. It's a hippo violation. We can't talk about it.

It's a hippo. Oh, it's a hippo violation. It's a hippo thing, yeah. Um, okay. Can I tell you guys a story from this weekend? Please. So I'm flying home and I go to get a drink at the bar at the airport before I get on the flight.

Classic moves. And so everyone loves that. I go up and I go, may I have an old fashion please? And the bartender behind the bartender that I'm ordering from goes, I'm in a own fashion. Wait, are you serious? And I go, what? And he goes, no, that's just how I say it. It's like a joke we do.

And I was like, there's no fucking way. You just like mocked me. And then when I called you out on it, you were like, that's a that's just like a thing that I do and the guy it was the most like the guy behind me in line was also like it was the most awkward thing I've ever been a part of that's crazy I've never there was a line at the bar it's like at the sky lounge where you go to like if you're not when they close the outdoor got it right and you now have to like go get in line and uh the guy behind me was like I've never been mocked for how did you just do that

Was that your balls? That was the scene. That was the scene, dude. How did you just do that? I don't know. Is that still doing it? It did it once. It was different before.

It was better. I know. It was like a huge pop or something. I had like an itch in my ear and I went to scratch it and it went like, pop. It went,

ow! I'm alive! Dude. All right, this weekend. Hit me. Well, I had a bartender that was mean. He like, I think he got me mixed up

with someone who was just like being a dick to me. Like he was like, oh what the fuck do you want and I was like what the hell and I like said something to my buddy and he's like oh now you're talking shit about me huh and I was like well I was

but because you were being mean yeah so I went up and I was like hey man I'm I'm really sorry if we got off on the wrong foot I'm not really sure what happened and he was I think he was so caught off guard because every other guy who's drunk at a bar or like 90% rate of like if I

antagon like they wanted to get in a fight with me I think oh even when you apologize no no after that I think he was so like oh oh okay yeah Sorry, but yeah. Why would he do that? It was weird.

Dude, you know, I remember one time I was ordering a drink. This was years ago, but I still remember it. In college, I wasn't drinking that night, but I was going out with some friends, and I was like, okay, I'll drive us home. And I went up to the bar and wanted to look like I was having fun, classic moves. So I was like, can I get a soda water with a lime in it? And the guy's like, what a bitch move. And literally put a lime on the bar table and then poured soda water on it and said, here you go.

And I was like, you just created a mess for yourself to call, to shame me for like not drinking, which is like, I'm making the right choice right now. And so then I got hammered and drove if I'm drunk. No, I'm like, but I'm like, dude, that was crazy. Like, and I still remember it. I'm like, what?

Can I get a soda? Yeah, put out your hands. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Why? Like, they must, there must be just assholes out there. Yeah. I got kicked out of a bar this weekend.

Really? Harper and I. Jacking off? Harper and I were jacking off. Harper and I went to a bar that I've been to like a million times in Booth Bay. And we were definitely fucked up. Like I'm not trying to pretend like we weren't.

But we were just standing there. And Harper, I think went to order a beer and like kind of stumbled over his words for like a second. And the bartender just like called the bouncer over the bouncer was like, you guys got to leave. And we were like, what? No, we're fine. And then no argument just started shoving us like out of the bar. And so we like get shoved out into the street and wake up in the morning. and that was like kind of we just called my dad and got picked up like didn't try and go back in whatever

we'd go for the member guest and the locker room attended is like our buddy thomas and he was like how was your night last night we're like we actually got uh kicked out of the bar and he was like holy shit like were you guys the ones getting shoved out and we were like yeah Thomas gets knocked over by one of us when we were getting like shoved out and didn't notice who it was whatever um but i think we're like the first guys ever to get kicked out of this bar it's not like Can't be true. It's not, it's literally not a play. I've never heard of anyone getting kicked out of it.

Dude, dude, sometimes bouncers go from zero to ten immediately. Yeah, they're, they're, they're, they're chomping at the bit. What are you talking about? We were in, this was a long time ago, and this is with a Friday beers trip, and I won't say anyone who it was, was like a newer, younger employee at the time, like, their first work trip, and he was too hammered at the bar, and we were hanging outside on the balcony, and I guess he, like, did something in the bar, like, I don't think anything too egregious, but, like, was visibly too drunk.

If you saw him, you're like, yeah, that guy's too drunk. Like, he wants to go home. And we were, in fact, like, he came out and we looked to each other. We're like, you should probably go home now. Like, he was going to go back with someone else. And the bouncer came out to find him and kick him out. And then he hopped over the, like, outside deck, ran into the parking lot. And then the bouncer was like, to us, go get him and bring him back in here so I can kick him out.

And we're like, no. We're like, we're like, we're not going to do that. Yes. Do you remember this? Yeah. What it did? And so we're like, oh, wait, who wasn't? Yeah.

Oh, is this the night he did that? Yeah, the night that he fell on all the buttons in the elevator. Yeah, yeah. It was too hammered, but it was so funny that the bouncer was like, go get him so I can kick him out. I'm like, he's already out. Like, he's not your problem. He's outside of jurisdiction. We're not like indulging your weird fantasy.

And I'm not going to bring this younger dude here. Like, this guy was like a 35 year old dude, like worked out guy, you know, and he's like, I want to go push him out of the bar. I'm like, I'm not bringing him bad for you. Yeah, what? He's crazy. He's coming. He's like, hey, this is my jurisdiction. The crime occurred in my premises.

He's pushing the cops out. It's like a classic, yeah, like the levels of cops fighting with each other. Here's another crazy thing that happened this weekend. I know someone who tried to take down a flock camera. Oh, hilarious. Nice. Are they out here?

They're all over Orange County. They're popping up. There's a map. Wait, you know a guy that, like, I know a guy, he got home from the bar on Friday night and had had a plan for a while, I guess, to maybe do this. And he was like, fuck it, I'm doing it.

and so he built a contraption that was like a really long extension cord with a roll of duct tape tied to the end and his plan was to throw it over the flock camera with like the weight and then yank it down nice which honestly he had a pretty good I can visualize I can see it

and he was gonna like wrap around like lasso wise and then like well no just the weight is on one end of the cord so if it goes over I guess I don't know what they're shaped like It's sticking out of a telephone pole Got it, okay If that makes sense

You just hook it on it And then Yeah, because this will bring it back down And you both ends And he went to great lengths To mask his identity Nice He made a disguise and a face covering

And he went to an alleyway And changed in the alleyway So that he wouldn't be on camera Leaving his house In the same thing that he committed the crime in and did all this. It probably took an hour of like prep. Hammered.

Pretty drunk. Okay. And he finally gets to the big moment and he's shitting himself and he throws the thing and he just whiffs and launches a extension cord with duct tape on the end into a random person's yard. And then he goes home. You know what those, whoever owns that yard, you'll be like, I was looking for that shit.

Yeah. I always need an extension cord. He went back the next day, and the cord was still, like, hanging out by a little bit, and so he just got it back. And he... The guy at Flock was watching was like, oh, my God, what a fucking idiot. Yeah, probably. I mean, I doubt it was manned, but it was, uh, it was pretty all time.

It's, you know, there's a lot of... It's easy to... You want... Yeah. So for the listeners, and I say that when I don't know something, so I can seem smart. Right. Flock's are the problem

because they're basically being thrust, correct me if I'm wrong, thrust upon us. Their idea is that it protects safety. If someone a ducks a child, it runs a license plate. But really, it's overreach of the, like, private business

using our information. Like, what is the exact? So I think the issue is, because I'm on this guy's side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're this guy. Hypothetically. The issue is that they're creating

infrastructure that is cameras that basically capture every block of every city in the fucking United States. Yes. There's even one on the end of my block. It's crazy. And it's like... And no one voted for this. No one voted for this. And the... You should have that guy come to your block and try and do

it to your block. I'll see what I could do. I'll see what I could do. Also this guy who did it is not really sure if trying to do it is even a crime. No. I don't... But he's... There's no way they have legislation yet for like attempted... Because No, just be private property.

Throwing a cord covered in duct tape into someone's yard isn't a crime. No, you did nothing. Yeah. You didn't. Yeah, if anything Dave Press charges, like, the only crime that guy committed was like littering I guess. I mean,

but he cleaned up the litter. I'm pretty sure if it was Christmas time, people get paid to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just have lights involved. That's a good point. Yeah. But he is a little bit like, it's not a crime to almost. That's a decision he should probably make when he hasn't been drinking because that is a felony, I

think the problem with the problem with having uh with hatching a plan yes is when you're drunk you remember it yeah and you go and do it and you're like that's the thing i meant to do this when i was he had thought through everything in the lead up to it and then the moment he had the liquid courage yeah i'm dealing with with a similar thing where i will uh i will hatch a plan sober and then if i don't get to it yeah by the time i get fucked up it just happens fucked up and it's not it's done like 50% correctly and you're like fuck I really thought this like yeah maybe like a you know texting texting a lady or you know doing something or whatever and you're like fuck I when I hatch these plans I need to do them immediately or when I'm

fucked up I'll do them wrong it's so who was it Julius Caesar himself don't leave what can be done today for tomorrow right he say something like that I don't know probably yeah yes yeah exactly I want to finish my thought on the point, the bad thing. Oh, yeah. So they build this infrastructure that is alleged, yeah, in theory, what they're trying to use it for. If it's only bad guys is a good thing, I guess. But they're filming every single car that goes by, scanning every license plate. It means every time I leave my house, they're scanning my license plate.

And, you know, God knows, I'm sure they're getting faces and fucking, apparently they can track, like, the way you walk. So even if you cover your face, like, they have, like, data on that. And there's been all these instances of, like, cops using it. to like stalk their ex-girlfriends. These like freak cops are and so the LAPD they've come out and said oh we're not using them anymore

but they're not taking them down so it's like how okay it's just like we're not gonna even if they're not being used for anything bad at the moment which I'm not confident of either. No. Creating infrastructure that could be immediately weaponized by tyrannical government

is like you have to be wary of that a thousand percent. That's not good. Who's ever like I'm gonna put this gun on the table but I might not needed. Yeah, it's just gonna be here. No, it's yeah, it's whack and it's like I don't want cameras scanning me every time I leave my house. And our taxpayers paying for it to get installed probably. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it's because the city's paying flock and yeah, yeah, it's so insane. Paying city taxes. Dude, we live in a sci-fi movie. That's minority report, bro. Basically,

that's like, that's level one minority report. Yeah. But I can't just go put a camera up. Can I mean? What do you mean? Like, could I just go like put like my own cameras up? Like, how is it company on your property? No, no, it's a, It's the police department is Flock is the private company that is contracting with police Got it, okay. So the LAPD government paid flock to

install it. There was a kid that got caught putting gopros in the girls' bathroom. Same thing. When we were kids. And he wasn't allowed to do that. Yeah, exactly. Not sure what point I'm trying to make. I think I just wanted to tell that story. I think that's a good thing.

So he put a GoPro like there was a ski trip happening like at our school and he like he had like a suction cup GoPro and just like put it on the wall facing the toilet and was like I might

you know I might get a few guys pooping but like I'm definitely going to get a few girls or whatever and thankfully a guy caught it before he was able to like retrieve it and we were like what was your plan yeah dude what that was the same kid

That was the same kid that when I walked into the Spanish bathroom, his t-shirt was pulled over his head and he was lying on the floor going to town on himself. See, this is also like why I'm happy I'm having a daughter where it's like... You don't have to worry about any of this. I feel like they're not doing that weird shit. You never know. They're just not getting slammed in the media for it like guys do. That's man have it. You're right.

They get the key to the city if they get that. The goal line's all the shit. They put a GoPro in our bath all the time probably. It's DEI. That's the problem. That's a problem. Yes. Yep.

Great call. Yeah. Dude, we're, uh, I want to play women's sports. Yeah, so do I. Right. That's my take. That's my take right now. I want to go to endless doctor's appointments.

I want to go through endless amounts of therapy so I can win a swimming contest at the high school level. I'm going to. I think I'm going to. Like, you're going to put Enis Cantors. Like, I'm entering the WNBA draft. Yeah. Yeah. We're losing the plot here.

I mean, here's the deal. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. Someone's going to draft it, right? no they said he's not allowed oh okay but he can still hoop yeah I mean he was I used to I used to love enous canter so get a life enous can't he's the guy he's the guy Ennis canter dude because it's close to the penis it's penis canter it's actually Ennis freedom it's Egyna now um I'm on the is completely unrelated but I'm on the plane yesterday and I had gotten delayed

so I had like maybe gotten a little buzz going before I got on the flight and then everyone in my row was drinking so I was like you know keep going and I'm getting I'm developing like you always say stuff like that

and I'm like I don't think I've ever been on a row where everyone's drinking Rusty's the vibe master dude yeah I was like guy next to me was ordering shot I was like that's why dude you're leaving the charge I feel like I've gotten upgraded

smells bad and doesn't look at me first row first row is typically the party row got it And so I'm developing kind of a sad buzz here. The internet's out. So all I have is my thoughts. I can't do anything.

And you're thinking about that bartender. And the internet had come back on, but I had already kind of like developed this, whatever. And I am like kind of, you know, looking out the window, pondering, whatever. And I look over, I'm trying to be serious. And I look over and the guy next to me is watching a reel. Internet had just come back on.

guys next to me is watching a reel and it was like POV like your top or your your bottom is like complaining about like it was like a top versus bottom sketch like a homosexual intercourse sketch yeah and the guy next to me was like really like intently watching it but it didn't look like it looked like he was as confused as anyone but he wasn't skipping it it was like a 45 second video and so that like immediately snapped me out of it where you're like it is it is it impossible to try and be like serious or sad. Yeah. When the guy next year was like,

huh. Like it looked like my dad trying to figure out like, what is this? Yeah. That's awesome. Oh, man. Yeah. Do you, uh,

do you have any cash? I have cash on me. I always have, honestly, as a dad, I always have cash. Yeah, I know,

I've got a cash. I've got a bag. I've got everything. Did you go to a, did you switch to a bond? It's my new identity, he's gone, dude. He's gone, dude.

Are you back? Are you to like a, you gotta have a thick leather bifold wallet. You gotta put your phone on your holster. Put your money where your mouth is. Put your money. I got one of those too,

Loki. I did too. Put your money where your mouth. Oh, that's a nice ass. Yeah. So I go to, I go up for Boys Night with Pete Tarling

before, before I go up to the golf tournament. And our boys night is always bowling into Buffalo Wildlings. Love. Important note. He is severely, severely,

lactose intolerant. And so when we go to B-dubs, I make sure he has- That's what it is? He makes that joke every year. I don't know this, really? Yeah, yeah. He, I, uh, that is hilarious. I've just already heard it.

It's all right. Somehow this has come up before, right? It happens every time we do Boys Night. So he brings his lactate. And he usually sits out the cheese curds, but he had brought like three. And so he's kind of go, we'll put a video of it here. he's going in like sicko mode he was like throwing him up and catching him whatever and then he wants to go to get ice cream after i was like we're playing a dangerous game here and so we're sitting

in line and he goes completely silent and i was like that's never a good no and i was like are you good and he was like yep and then he lets out the craziest fart i've ever heard in my entire keep my there's it's a 30 person line this is the most is the most popular ice cream joint which place is it reds dairy freeze this is in Maine is this is in Maine is in Maine. Oh yeah. Ice cream. And I turn around.

And he kind of creases. There was a, there was like a seven-year-old girl standing just directly at eye level with his butt. And she was like so perplexed that he did this and just backs up. So now the whole line between Pete and there's a 10-foot gap in the line. And I was like, Pete, you cannot, you cannot do that. And I was like, if you're going to do it again, like, we have to. leave. He's like, we have to leave then. We have to leave then. We got out of line because he was like,

I just cannot. The amazing. And so we're in, we're driving home and he's like just letting it fly. And, uh, good thing you didn't get ice cream to it. Well, no, dude, that would have been. Well, they have dairy free there. But I was like, you know what? Maybe we just skip the cheese curds. That's so fun. Yeah. I mean, what is, no offense. Like, what if we didn't get cheese when we hung out with him. Is that a little on you? Are you like, is he go to hang out with you because he knows you'll let him have shit this and make him shit himself? I mean, he can just like happen like three times since he started this podcast. No, I know. Yeah, I mean, I probably should stop giving him cheese. You got to live life. I get cheese curds. I get cheese curds and I'm like, I'm not going to

be like you can't have, he's older than me. I'm not going to be like you can't have cheese cards. Fair? Expect. Um, so I don't know. I mean, I probably should. Yeah. Yeah. I probably should stop doing it, but... How do you bowl? Are you a good bowler? Uh, I mean, I beat him, but no, I'm not a very good bowling. Like, I think good bowling would be if you can get above 150 in my book. I'm like around.

I'm like, I'm like somewhere in the one, 100 to 150 range. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I feel like you might be good at bowling. No. Really? Bad.

Like if I break, I try to break 100 when I play. That's my goal. Best I've ever done 192. Midnight bowling, fully drunk, best I've ever bought it. Dude, when we, you ever been to Cleveland, Ohio? Yes, sir, twice. There you go. I've only been there once.

Actually, I've been there twice. Did I go with you once? Yeah, I went with you one time. Remember we were there all together, weren't we? That was Cincinnati. Fuck. Yeah, where's Ohio State? Columbus.

Columbus. I've been to Columbus twice. Have you ever been to Cleveland? Not once in my life. All right, so we were in Cleveland, and our Airbnb was right across from a bowling alley. Yes. And I think you only went once, but Lucas and I went, I didn't go to the boy.

You never went? I don't think. Yeah, I guess you kept being like, I don't want a bowl. But we went like three times and I got no better. This was in 24 hours. It was like a late night. We like went the night we got there. We went in the morning because we were bored and then we went that night too.

And it's just, I don't know what it is. It's not easy, dude. It's tough. And like, I don't know. It's hard on your wrist. But I love it. It's so fun. I think it's like one of the best things to do while like having some beers.

Like it's just. I agree. It's fun to have. It's so fun. But you need to. a big enough crew that one person bowling doesn't fuck up the vibe of the conversation. That's very true because otherwise it's your turn, it's your turn.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need like six guys. Yes. And you don't want to split up into like multiple lanes. You want one lane with like hella people. Oh, I disagree. I like like, let's say we have six people. Yeah. Three on each lane. But then two people are bowling at all the time. You're constantly up.

That's like, I mean, if we want to just have beers, we can go to the bar. No, but I think six men on one lane, it's like you can. We're running a six man tonight. Every once in a while. If you can go bowling with 10 bros, five guys on each lane next to each other, that's a great time. That'd be great. What about 400 guys, 80 lanes? That's my dream. Yeah. That is my dream. How many guys? That's just the idea of a bowling alley. Five. Five. It's a battalion of dudes. I think I nailed it. I think that would be five. I think that would be five. Wait, what's eight times five? 40. Yeah. Also, the last thing I would eat after going bowling not to call you out big time on the pod? Cheese curds? No, wings. We go boneless. We go boneless. We go boneless. Okay, bonus is way better. He gets a hamburger.

Delicious. Dude, try to explain. Delicious. Dude, try to explain. Hamburger. Delicious. Try to explain to the waiter at Bdubs why, uh, because Pete just wants meat and bun, no cheese, no condom, or no, um, toppings. And I'm like, it was national cheeseburger day when we were going. Oh, I don't know if you've had to. negotiate with a B-dubs waiter on National Cheeseburger Day that you just want a hamburger. That's hilarious. He was like, I don't understand.

I was like, he just doesn't want to. He's like, I want a hammering. The same guy. He's just everywhere. You work at the airport? It's funny because, dude, like working in customer service a long time, like, like doing ballet, people come up like, can I get some waters? And in my head, I'm like, can you some waters?

Like, you want to say that because you hate this person. But what the fuck did I do? That's what I mean? You can't say it out loud, bro. You got a holster that shit. It's got to stay inside. I would like to think like... I have a quick.

He just had a bad day and I was the final. Oh, for sure. A hilarious cover up though. No, it's an inside joke we do where we mock everyone your orders from us. Yeah, I mean, he was just like glitched and was like, oh my God. It is one of those... It happened.

I mean, this has happened a million times in like social interactions where you're talking to someone at a bar and you say something. You're like, holy fuck, how did that come out of my opinion? I wish I could... Like, he probably wanted to grab those words and put him back in it. in his mouth. What were you going to say? Yeah. When you show up to work as a valet, how do you park your car?

Bro. That's a good question, Will. This is actually fired, dude. You know, there's perks of every job where it's like, yeah, man, if I work at a restaurant and someone didn't finish their fillet, I don't fucking eat that shit. Yeah. When you are a valet, baby, you treat yourself right.

You back in. You always back your car in. Right. So that when you pull out, it's faster customer service. Because when the person goes into the hotel, you take your time parking the car you don't want to take your time pulling out switching gears just pull it out so when I get

to work I back my car in and one of the best spots in the lot spot A1 we have zones A through H and then there's a structure I'm not parking the structure and I go A I parked my car back in and A1 fire bro But you don't valet

Have them valet Because aren't you like the head valet That'd be a good move I could roll up now Yeah I am a manager so I could roll up and be like Yo fucking valet in my car now, dude. That's what you should do. I should do that. That'd be fire. Have you ever had... The managers actually who work in the hotel, like the GMs and stuff, they do do. They do that, yeah. Really? Have you ever had a guy tell you to keep it running and then he goes to bed?

Oh my God. Dude, I'll my joke was my, someone who comes in and goes, I'm going up the room for a second, I'll be right back and just never come back. It happens literally more times, not more than 50-50. I'm like, what's going on in that room? Whatever you're planning on doing, like to go get some shit. Actually, make you make a sense. Like the hotel can just do it all for you. Like, what are you going to go get? Like, we have everything that we want to keep you in the property. The whole business model is to keep you here to spend money. I'll be right back and then they don't come back down. Do they actually say things like keep it running? People will say, they won't say keep it running, but they'll say keep it close. And then they'll say, we used to offer gas service and a guy would come in.

Gasser, washer is what do they say. Gaser, washer. And we used to do that. But we don't do gas anymore, too much liability. But we still do wash it. Just because you got to drive to the guys are drinking it. And guys are hammered on the job. We had a, I, Strider and I have a mutual one of, a kid I went to high school with, worked for Strider and,

he's kind of a legacy. Tell them what he did. This is the craziest. People talk about this now. We use him as an example when training. We're like when you're going through the hotel, like in the bowels of the hotel. Yeah.

And there's big events going on. Like there's like vertical stacks like six feet tall of like desserts all layered out that like that like that are going to go down to get serviced later, but they, like, sit in the, to go hallway. For like a wedding. Yeah, this was for a wedding. And it's like pre-slice cakes, ready to rock, like,

so they can serve them. And then there's an employee cafeteria where there's everything in the cafeteria is fair game. This is like in the hallway. Here's the elevator that goes down. Is it free the cafeteria? It comes out of your paycheck, but it's a good deal. Yeah, it's part of the thing.

But whatever's in there, take as much as you want. Like, once you, it's out of your paycheck, like, whatever's in there, take it. this guy, it's almost like his first day of work, fucking sees a dank piece of cake that's like very nicely decorated, 300 slices of it. And he goes,

that must be for me, takes it, goes into the cafeteria, eating the cake, and a manager comes like who's going to inspect it before going out is like, why is there a fucking cake missing?

Goes into the cafeteria, sees a valet, eating the cake, and he's like, what are you doing? But he's not like hiding it. No, he's like,

he like thinks this is okay to do, which is the best part, and it's like so obvious, this is not for you. Yeah. And then it comes to management, and they're like, this is like his second or third day, they're like, yeah, you're not going to be a match. Legend. Oh. Fucking legend.

I was thinking, oh, he stole the cake, but it's so much funnier that he just ate it in the open. Yeah, he probably was going to go back for more. Yeah. Like, dude, now I want cake. Here's, okay, wait, so you go to the cafeteria. Is it like you scan into your paper item? No, it comes out of your paycheck. It's preset.

that when you sign up for employment. Oh. Yeah. Like, like, health care. It's like use it or lose it. God. Exactly. Exactly.

How often do you eat there? Every day. Breakfast, lunch, dinner? You can have as many meals as you want. But, you know, for a shift, you'll probably, no, you can't take anything out. Nothing can come out. Do you guys get shifties? I guess you're driving the cars.

Can you bring a guest? No, it's funny, though. Like, in the past valets, we call them hungry valets. And they're all actors. We call them hungry actors. And, like, on their day off, they would just come in and throw on their uniform. and like try to go in there and we'd be like bro like we get your saving money that's the one that happens a lot you're like bro we get it like you can't do that like finish your plate but like

the reason this is here is for efficiency of breaks and services and like you're slowing that down yeah yeah and you know pick up more shifts they put a sign up uh my first ever job i was i would flip the burgers at this like that's kind of a high end that's kind of a big responsibility it was pretty dope and here's the crazy part the oldest kid that like our manager was was 70. So it was, it was, it was like Lord of the Flies. So it was like all, all the girls in our grade did the ice cream side. All the boys did the burgers. Uh, I did. I got us in trouble a few times. The help inspector came one time. I was eating soft serve while making a burger. This is what I'm saying. That's not why it's too much of responsibility. But, uh, they put up a sign. We'd come in. Kids would bring in eggs. We'd come and like make, you know, eggs have a lobster roll for breakfast, like go crazy, whatever. They've hired an adult finally to like oversee us. First day. put up a sign like no more lobster rolls.

We were like just bleeding this place dry. And I think now you could have like a hot dog or a burger for lunch or whatever. But kids were coming in and having like 32 ounces of lobster. You're a market price lobster? Like what the fuck? I am so full. It's insane, dude. There was a guy.

We got, we caught a guy doing a, he was running like a lobster scheme. So he would come and say that he just had like a bunch of lobster rolls and that they like made him sick or whatever. somehow got these like 14 year old kids like refund him and was going down like to every restaurant in our town wow not knowing like he gets like he gets like pennsylvania and has to switch to crab he's like it's not good here anymore he's just going down the coast and he goes like lobster now i'm doing cheese steaks yeah but he didn't know that uh the guy who owned our shack also owned like two other restaurants and so he caught wind that this guy was doing it and they like,

hilarious. Somehow lured him back to one of the locations and, like, booked him. But like, what a weird, like, how do you have that much time

on your hand? It's like, I mean, it's like a couple hundred bucks per place, but like, I just don't, I don't know how you would even think of that.

When the scheme to save money becomes more work than like, what it would have been to like have a regular job and pay the full price. I'm like, this is, dude, I mean,

you have a personality flaw. Like, that guy has a flaw. I got a buddy who's, like, obsessed with, like, deals, like on Uber,

Yes. Oh my. And they send the tweets of like, Chipotle today is like, you know, if you wear a jersey, like they're, they're in the know of like,

if you wear this to Chipotle, it'll be. Yeah, like come when wrapped in silver like tinfoil today. There's like one Twitter account that like posts all the like codes. Mine doesn't send a tweet.

Who's your guy? Ben. Guys. Five s? Yeah. But my thing is like, he'll be like, he'll be like,

I've eaten at this restaurant every day this week because of this deal. And I'm like, all right, well, there's some cost, like, whatever you're saving might not be worth having eaten Indian food eight nights in a row. I've lost 80 pounds of shitting nonstop.

How do you weigh that? It'll be like a bogo on a thing that, like, I don't want to of. Or like my favorite Thai restaurant, like the pad tie is always bogo, but like it doesn't taste good in the fridge after like two days and I can't eat too full things or whatever. And it automatically adds it to your car. Do you ever subtract it? No, because it's like, that doesn't make any sense either. So now I have to like find a guy who like wants Pad Thai that night and like, I don't know.

Life is getting hard. It's nice that you're doing that. Dude, they just open a new Thai Vietnamese place right by my house. Oh, no. Yeah, it is. By the Shoup's sandwich, like in that little thing? No. I thought it was going to be like that's like a vegan Thai place.

Oh, okay. But there's one by Jersey Mikes down on the other end of Main Street. And the Fah, I got the Fah and it was 12. That's a good deal. That's pretty, that's about as good as you're going to get. Yeah. But it wasn't great. But it was mostly Thai.

And then they had one little Vietnamese section and that was the fun. That's what I got. And I was like, if this menu is 95% tie, these are probably Thai people. Tie people that, we're like, all right, we can do Fah one time. So I think I'm going to go back and try the Thai food. It's a good move. And they say if you call ahead, you get 10% off. I'm like, well, that's a win win.

That's huge. So 10. I mean, I could have gotten that fuck for $10.80. Where are you going to get Fah for $10 and $80? No, we're in L.A. Maybe Vietnam. And I'll tell you right now. Yeah.

Fah? Breakfast dish. Oh! I didn't know that. You mean in Vietnam? Yes. That's when you traditionally eat Fah. I landed on a night flight, got to the hotel, talking to the front desk person,

being like, we're hungry. Like, I kind of want some food right now. Can you recommend a good Fah place? And the lady at the front desk was like, ah, it's going to be tough to get at this time of night. And I was like, no, it's not lady who grew up in here and this is your culture. I want to have fah as an American. At home, I can never eat at any time.

Yeah, exactly. And then she went, you went, fah. Never going to stop doing that. But then I found out, like, a dumb American, this is a fucking breakfast dish. And, dude, I had it for breakfast. I had the best energy that day. I didn't even need coffee. I still got it.

But, like, dude. Is there caffeine and fah? No, he's just, like, so rich with, like, It was warm and like had so much like nutrients and shit in it. Are we the only ones that eat is, are we like one of the only countries that have breakfast like our breakfast? Like bacon and eggs? I think so. Because that was just like made up like within the last like hundred years.

I don't know. I don't know how many cowboys. Bro, it's the best breakfast there is in the world. I think it was a grand slam. Oh. Dude, my, our fantasy punishment this year is the IHOP thing. Oh. Oh, I'm not doing well.

Excuse me guys. I need to go jack off to the idea. Do you have breakfast? I'll be bad. God. Oh, my God. No, American breakfast is the best breakfast in the world. I think you, yeah, dude, the 1920s.

I think the egg companies are like dairy companies. Dude, I'll never forget the year I lived in Spain, like day one, my host mom was like, here's breakfast. And it was just like lunch. One tiny piece of bread. And I was like, yeah, we eat so much. It would be like cookies and milk. We'd get these like cookies with chocolate in the middle and you dip them in the milk.

And you'd have like, I'm sure that was like, can we look up when... Your host family was just like... No, it was because then you get... Because then they eat at like 11 and that's... No wonder they need a siesta.

They eat four meals. It was kind of baller. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Principi. What a stupid, stupid room. You eat that, you eat that when you wake up and then at like 11 you eat a sandwich. And then at like two you eat like a big rice dish.

What if you want something? Yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, wait, what if you want something else? You have to go to a different country. That's why they're going to pass. I mean, like, do they, like, everyone's eating, like, kind of this, these. Everyone, well, I mean, I lived, like, I had, like, my, there were three, there were four of us boys and the mom was making. So I just ate whatever she made.

But everyone at sandwich would bring a bocatea and you would eat it, which was like a, like a sandwich on like a baguette, which is gather gas. And you would eat it at like 11 o'clock. And then at two o'clock, they'd leave, you leave school and everyone would go home and eat like a big, like, rice meal or something. It's fire. The siesta, if you will. Yes. And you go back to school at like four.

Bummer. No. To like six or seven. I'm out. And then you come home and then you eat dinner at like eight o'clock and that's like, yeah. I don't like that. People think that the pilgrims fled Europe for religious persecution. It was to find new food.

Yeah. I mean, I can't eat this anymore. The Bogot Dio was good. But everything else is, yeah. Also, do you know this? I lived there for an entire year. I was 14 when I went.

This is kind of bold. And I was scared to tell my host mom that I didn't. like seafood because I didn't want to be like a bad guest. Oh, dude. Yeah. So I just ate seafood for an entire year and I still don't like seafood, but I just topped it out for a whole year. I would have done the same thing.

Yeah. You don't like seafood. Not really. West Coast seafood is, is, I guess like the fish is really good, but the, the, the, like, the seafood that I like, I don't really have out here. We had, we had West Coast oysters at dinner the other day for the first time. Oyster, I'll never eat it in my life. Pretty kind of fun.

And can I tell you, a lobster roll? Not for me. Well, because the lobster, take it. The lobster. The lobster. Out here, Pacific Lobster is like, no Bueno. It's probably, it's like Langoste. It's like the small ones.

I had it on the East Coast, I'm sure. I have. I've had it in Boston. You didn't like it? No. But I'm not a seafood guy. It's not for me. It's not for me.

Charleston and Portland. You know, Luke's Lobster? That place that's been popping up, that kid went to my high school. I didn't know it. Really? Luke Lobster. He was this real name? Luke Lobster. He's like, perfect.

His name's Luke Lobster. He's just like an investment guy and then have this idea. I guess it's not like groundbreaking, but he had the idea that he wanted to start this thing. And now it's like all over the fucking. Like there's one in Santa Monica. What's it called? Luke's Lobster.

Interesting. So his dad, I guess, is a lobster like distributor. And so he can get it at a price that no one else can get it. And he, yeah, like leveraged that's this huge business.

Your business model is going to work when you're like, my dad hooks it up with this. Yeah, my dad hooks it up for a good business model. Sometimes they'll do like a mascot where it's like a big, head of a lobster. You see what I'm...

That's what it looks like on your balls. See what I did there? My ball, yeah, my ball sex is kind of like a lobster roll? Is that where you... It's just like a mess. Dude, a lobster roll sucks. If you don't hold it a certain way, it falls apart. Can you go mascot with a big head of a lobster?

Also, when you have a lobster roll, rusty, do you go warm or cold? So I like it, uh, traditional Maine. How's that? I'm gonna be honest, I don't even really know what it is. I just know I order it. Like, it's like cold with the butter and the mayonnaise on the side, but a toasted bun. Head of a lobster. So I got into an argument with,

I actually need to learn like what it is because I know I know I order it that way, but it comes different sometimes. I had an argument with a way. Yeah. See? Crusher. Crusher is the,

the red claws, now the main Celtics, the former main red claws, the mascot was a lobster named Crusher. Yeah. So you know, so you don't act like I'm crazy when I say you ever seen a mascot

with like a big head of a lobster. What the fuck is it you talking about? I mean, there's like multiple photos of it and then you said you've seen it before. No, no, I'm aware. When I said that earlier, you acted like I was crazy. You're saying there's like a mascot with a big head of a lobster. I know it exists. I'm confused why we're talking about it.

Because I brought it up because we're on a show. Why do we talk about anything? Okay. Tune in next week, Will Rusty and Willie squash the beef. Pull up mask. Mascot. Clush the beef. Mascot.

That's a trash can eats cheerleader. Playday. pod when a lobster becomes beef between rusty and witty. Hey, the only place lobster can be beef. Surf and turf. Surf and turf. Lobster beef divides pot. That would be like our headline.

When you go to a wedding, is the surfing turf ever that good? Let's talk. Dude, my buddy had it in, maybe in Maine. My buddy had it. No, this was in Kentucky. Did I ever tell you the waiter thing at my buddy's wedding? My buddy called me from his, from his honeymoon, the day after his wedding. And he's like, hey, did you? Dude, I got laid. Yeah. Fucking legit, dude. It's awesome.

It's awesome. It felt so good. He goes, did you get in an altercation with a waiter last night? And I was like, no. And he's like, did you know anyone that did? And I was like, no. Like, you were his first call. This is amazing. He said, because he, so he gets a voicemail from a kid that he went to high with and he's like one of your brothers little fucking friends was walking out of the wedding and was like shit talking this girl and i told him like you leave that girl alone and apparently the guy turned around and said i'll talk to blank the the groom's last name i'll talk to mr blank you'll never work another event in this town or whatever and he goes i'm not a fucking waiter apparently his like tucks was shitty or whatever and whoever

who ever saw him thought he was one of the waiters and so he was like I'm not a waiter and the guy like just like sped off whatever and we never figured out who it was but we were like what like one who would say that yeah yes I don't know dude threatening someone's like work over a disagreement is like unless they like really do something bad

you'll never work in this town again it's like that's like out of a movie yeah also bro great move if you do do something bad at a wedding, say you're a waiter there. Yes. And then they'll just try to track you down that way. Throw them off. That's a good point. Throw them off your scent. Oh, man. I say I'm the wedding planner. You'll never plan another wedding in this town again. I woke up to like some videos from that wedding and I couldn't figure out how to everyone was like getting a little loose on the dance floor and like shirts are coming off and like the buttons are I couldn't figure out how to get my bow tie undone. So everyone has their shirts all the way unbuttoned.

and then mine is every button except for the top one. And there's like this crazy mosh pit going and you just see me in the back like, like trying to get my my bow tie off. And so I just kept it. It looks like a, I feel like a bow tie is the easiest thing to get off. I couldn't find the like,

you couldn't find the right thing to pull. No, no, mine was a pre-tied. Oh, it was like a clip on? I have like a, I have one that's made of like feathers. And so it like doesn't, it's not a real like tie and it just clips here. And I like could not get my, my finger on the clip

and so I couldn't join any of the phone like people have their ties people have their ties around their heads and like people are doing the worm and I'm just in the back like come on you could have gone in there with it still on

people would be like no I'm not loose enough that guy's not loose enough our uh our brother buddy got married and uh trying to say goodbye to say goodbye to his dad when they're in like the middle

of like a Congo line like his dad is his tie around his head you're like Mr. Littrell I'm leaving I'm out he's like yeah I do it I don't care okay also yeah at a wedding you only say goodbye to the people you just go recently where like the bride and groom like said said don't say by it yeah yeah just leave yeah I think that's the that's the only place you can irish goodbye and it's like perfectly acceptable yeah yeah like they first of all they might get kind of bum that you're leaving their wedding a little early

definitely say a hi to them try to see them and be like what up congrats like we love you but when you go when you leave just fuck off yeah no one cares it's not about you it's making it's seem like you think you're like the most important part of this wedding. They need to know that I'm not going to be here anymore. Like this whole thing might fall apart the second I leave. I learned it the hard way. I said, but I was a groomsman and I did say later to my buddy. Like I dabbed him up.

He was so funny. He was like, had like late night burgers or whatever. He had a fucking burn out like eating it and I'm like, I'm out, bro. He's like, just gave me a high five and left. And I could tell he was a little bit bummed that I was leaving, but I was just left. Yeah. He's not going to come find me. He's going to come.

Yeah. Everyone's. He'd be assuming you were making out with someone. He'd be chicks. Well, the full sentence was with your wife, bro. I'll see you later, dude. Oh, that dude, savage. Yeah, that was actually pretty good.

Can I use the restroom? I think I should go, too. I have to go. Yeah, that's good. I think you definitely should. I go number two. Oh, mama. What do you love so much about a cinnamon roll?

I used to have a cinnamon roll every Christmas morning. My mom still does it, actually. I still do that every Christmas. I just said I used to because the most recent time I did it was in December. There was a fly. all over. Even the fly can't get enough of this Bearbells. I'm serious. They got a new cinnamon bun flavor and I've not had it yet. This is going to be a live taste test on the air. I'm going to eat it while you tell them a little bit about it. Okay. And then I'm going to give you

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It's a new thing I'm drawing. Testament to the mugs to mint. Then the fact that I've had two of these during this episode, you can rewind the tape. I'm drinking one right now as we speak. This is the best root beer on the planet. It's nostalgic.

That's what I like about it. It takes me back to my childhood. It's creamy. It's got the vanilla flavor. It's frothy. It just reminds me of being a kid running around drinking a little root beer. I am such a fan of the mug. I've been rocking the zero sugar.

It's delicious. And I feel like when I drink a lot of mug, I sort of start to have these mug moments. And when I say mug moment, I'm talking about, you know, finally having the, the courage to maybe go play softball or finally having the courage to maybe go to work that day. Something bold, you know.

Join a jump rope circle. Join a jump rope. It's one big rope in a circle. So everyone has to be jumping at the same time or messes up the jump rope circle. So guys, next time you're craving something cold and frothy, crack open a mug root beer. Find mug root beer at your local store or head to www.mugrootbeer.com slash find dash mug to find out how you can get your pause on some mug and be sure to throw them a follow online at mug group here let's get back to the episode what do you eat Nelson what do you look like the way you just looked up was like

the first time strider's daughter looked at him yeah it was kind of like sweet can I tell you that is like a magical thing is in the morning yeah now that she's two months she's starting to like be aware like when a baby's first born like they can't like see more than like like right here. They see like color, like contrast and they're just eating and sleeping the whole time. Like literally wake up.

Yeah, like me on a Sunday. They do. Am I right? Sunday morning. Yeah. Like I'm so hungover. Classic bait.

Slang that doesn't exist. I'm baby mode. A baby mode. I'm gonna be newborn tomorrow. There are days where you feel like that though. We're like, I can't really see, I can't see more than a few inches in front of my face.

I'm not mood. I can, if I, if, if Ty doesn't come roll me over, I could like suffocate on my phone. I would like to get burped. Yeah, exactly, dude.

I need tummy time. It's so true. But dude, now, like, this morning, my mornings are amazing. Like, she wakes me up too early. Everything wakes me up too early. And I'm like, fuck. But then I get out of bed,

and she's just chilling there. And, like, I see her, see me. And then she smiles right away. And I'm like, it's amazing. And then I'm also, and then I'll trip myself out and think, like, no one's taught her to smile. Right.

Maybe she's seen me smiling looking at her. So maybe she's like, Her brain has learned that because I smile when I see her. Yeah. But I'm like, it's crazy that she knows like, I like this. I'm smiling right now. Like, it's amazing. It is funny.

Like, there are things that are just, like, come naturally. Yeah. Have you seen that video of the baby? The baby who's like literally just born. It's in the nurse's hands. And it like smirks at the camera. There was one. It was like, it looks like a guy who just got reincarnated.

And he's like, bang. Bang. Great. I got a good family again. That's amazing. Dude, it's incredible to what they naturally know to do. It's awesome. This might be like the dumbest question ever.

Are there things she likes yet? Like, does she have like, she obviously doesn't have like interests, but like, does she. She just likes, honestly, dude, she likes to be read to. She will let you know when she's over being held. Like she'll like to be held. And then sometimes she'll be like, maybe I'm getting hot. I'm over it. Put me down.

I would say there's definitely stuff that she's more communicates displeasure towards. Like she hates dummy time, but you have to do it. so they like learn to move their head. Oh, is that to like strengthen their neck? Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, because they can't. That's like one of the big things of like,

we talk about like rolling over. It's like if your baby can get to a point where they can roll over, they have to be able to roll back over. So you like need to keep an eye on that. And so you really need to strengthen them with like core and like neck movement. She's doing core? Oh, dude, she does core. She has like abs yet.

Dude, they're so strong. Bro, I like did an impression of my baby for my wife where I was like literally just like doing this. Like she just does that. I'm already exhausted. Like, dude, it's exhausting. I'm like, she can do it for hours. She's doing like butterfly. Oh, dude, nonstop.

Just mountain climbers. Yeah. Yeah, she, dude. Are human babies the only, are we the only species that like, can't take care of ourselves for like years? Like, I feel like other animals come out and like can like walk around and shit and like. I think for sure we're one of the most like ill equipped for life right at birth. But I think it's because our big heads. And the full birth term is 40 months.

It's 10, excuse me, 40 weeks. It's 10 months, not 9, even though everyone says 9 months. 40 weeks is full term. And then there's a fourth trimester where the baby is actually not ready for the world. Like fully, that's why, like, you have to like really, really be eyes on it. Like, it would just get killed in nature. Right. Whereas like a giraffe or a horse, like walks right away, you know.

That's the fucking, is that because we've coddled. Is that because we're so smart that we've coddled them over time, though? It's like in, it's because the brain growth. In the old, like, the brain of their parents have, are developed enough to be like... They could already do like a trade, like week one. Like they were like, they were some sort of Smith. Yeah, but like, yeah, exactly. Like maybe they were like a cobbler or some sort of Smith.

Or what is the question? Culler or Shoemaker? But yeah, it's because the head, the brain development, like, it will grow, but the head's bigger. Yeah. And it can't fit. The birth canal hasn't widened enough. Like, evolutionarily, our brains grew faster than the birth canal. And it has to be able to get through that birth canal.

Yeah. Have you seen the rendering? Like when babies, so if you put a baby's arms over its head, it like touches their, like they can barely get it around. If like an adult had that proportions, have you seen what that would look like? No. Someone did like a rendering of it. It's like, it's just like our heads would be like three feet in circumference. Or our arms would be like tiny.

The sharks get like abandoned immediately. Like they get birthed. And like if their mom doesn't eat them, it's like a weird. dropping a bomb. Literally. This is why, you know, why lionesses are kind of like promiscuous, if you will, is because... You know what? I don't. You know what?

I won't. I won't. Fine. Call him horse. Whatever, guys. They will go have sex with a lot of the different male lions, so the other male lion doesn't know if it's his offspring or not, so they won't kill it. Oh, I think some humans do that too, right? Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. My

sister came out, like, completely tan. No, like they go sex with a bunch of male lions. Sorry. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, so it's so you don't know, you don't know if it's a human or a line. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, your sister did that? My sister came out, like, super tan and with jet black hair.

And apparently everyone in the room was like, and then she grew out of it. But it was like, oh, okay. Mom. Yeah. The mailman. Yeah. The male man. We had a gardener name.

Kind of redundant. The male man. Oh. That's, why can it be the female man? Yeah, come on. I'm a male is what male men should just say. I like that. I'm a male.

He's a male. Do you make noises over there? Should we do some segments? Yeah, I'm down for that. Let us do it. You know what's funny is when we have a guest on, Andrew, I don't think you've said a word this entire episode. I also don't shut up.

No, no, no. It's just a, I feel like three is like, he's not even looking. now. I don't think we even hear it. All right, we have a beautiful episode for you guys today. We're going to hear your pitches, our pitches. We're going to do We don't have, well, I didn't tell

them to prepare pitch, so I think we just do their pitch. We'll do Confessions. We'll do this guy rocks. Teach me something. We didn't tell him to do either of those things either. I can hang out, whatever. Whatever you want to do. We were in the group chat. We just told him to do draft. Oh, that's so dumb. Honestly, Rusty, all he did was text me and say, you better come up with

the next podium where we're all fired. I did say that. I said, Will and I get fired. I have another podium. All right. And then what are we doing? We're doing the hottest Halloween costumes this year. Yes. And what was the other one?

Slang words. Slang words that don't exist. With the goat. Let's go. Looking to make every NFL week even more exciting, introducing BetMGM Ultimate Teams, the free-to-play game that gives you a chance to win all season long. Here's how it works.

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Reese. What is this game? You can be Malcolm. Malcolm? I would guess it was you based on the way we're spinning. I know. Oh, okay. Did I tell you I was watching?

My roommate Ty thought Malcolm in the middle and the middle were the same show. and so he's watching Malcolm in the middle with me for like three episodes and he was like when do they like switch cast and I was like what are you talking about he's like I haven't seen like brick or axle or whatever was like this a completely different but the people in the middle are brick and axle yeah yeah like we've been watching this for like an hour and a half and you were just like he just accepted like I guess this season has different characters hilarious brick and anthology words that don't exist yeah they sound like bad guys and ninja turtles yeah there's like Like, Malfoy's cronies.

Yes, yes. Yeah, Brick and Axel. If it was an American, American Hogwarts. Okay, sorry. I'm Dewey. I mean, can we also, I got to say one thing. I don't think I've ever thought about this. Hogwarts?

Yeah, buddy. Dude, I know. I saw something that was like, hey, which ride your broomstick if you want to get Hogwarts? Yeah. It'd be like pub, crab, wizard school. Shaft bump. Yeah.

I go to shaft bumps. Hogwarts Saxist Yeah Oh All right Andrew I'm so sorry about him And me

Taint paint Yeah Dewe What is the worst part about Grocery Shopping Oh man I get so stressed out The carts should be like a little bit thinner Yeah that's a good point actually

I would say maybe the You go in everyone goes in with a plan And then you see other things that also sound you me and then you come home with way more food you can eat in a week then you can eat in a week sorry that is right walking through every aisle of a giant grocery store looking for that one item that you can't seem to find you can avoid this problem with food finder not to be confused with the popular fetish website um okay this app this app lets you upload you would know what

that is this app lets you upload your grocery list what the fuck is that's best to me connect. Is that because I told you in confidence that I sold pictures of my feet in college? Did you really? I didn't tell you that. You said that on the pot. Yeah, I said this like a million times. There's a beautiful feet. You're giving up. You're giving up for free. I have like buns feet. I don't. I don't show these things unless you pay. Mine are kind of dry right now, so don't look at them. Man, the rich get richer. Uh, and automatically connects to your local grocery store. Once there, you will have to put your phone into a phone holder of your shopping cart and an arrow on the screen. green will guide you to your desired items. Awesome.

It also sorts your list and curates the shortest possible path to collect all of your groceries. Experts estimate that this will save the average consumer about 40% of time in a store. So stop wasting hours searching for that one thing left on your list and experience buying groceries in a whole new way with Food Finder. P.S. Love the Pod. Y'all are doing magnificent stuff. Greetings from Germany. Len.

Thank you, Len. Guten talk, Glenn. Guten to that song. I bet he's listening to that song. I have no notes. You guys listen to it? Oh yeah. Same by saying.

Oh, yeah. It's the other German song. Don't do that at him. Oh yeah. That's how you say nine? What was that? I've never seen you do that until we're talking about Germany? Well, this is a clever idea.

I do think, you know, if you're a young man or a young person looking for love like we all are, I look. all are. Luckily, I found it, so I'm done. So this actually works for me as a married man. But the grocery store is where you meet single people. It's a great place to meet single people. How would you ever talk to them? Hey, do you need help reaching that, you know, meat? Hey. He's like, it's actually, I mean, that's true. Willie, the best pickup line of the grocery store is, hey, are you reaching for some meat? I don't have Hogwarts. I love that. Or Or holding up a cucumber and just being like, hey. This is tiny to me.

This is, yep. Look how little these 12-x cucumbers are. Following her around grabbing everything that's- Holding up a baby carrot and saying, this is little to me. Yeah. In like a sexy way. Oh. Do you see how sexy that is?

She looks at you, she looks at you just peeling Clementines. Mine doesn't have a seam either. They do, though. Clementines are like a bunch of seams. Dude, you know that Gelson? Maybe I don't know what seems. There's a bar at Gelson's. At what?

There's a bar. Gelsons, there's a bar. People hang out. A salad bar. Oh! Hey! He might not say much when there's a guest on, but when he does you listen. Oh.

Oh. No, I'll have to bounce you out of here. You're going to get bounced out of this salad bar. Dude, salad. Hey, how come there's no bouncers? And they call it a hot bar. Oh. When I'm there.

When I'm there. When I'm there, when I'm there. I want to point out, you guys weren't looking. When you said that and you made your own bar joke, Andrew was staring daggers into the back of your head going. That's why I'm turned this way. He raised the bar on all bar jokes going forward. Dude, I prefer the salad bars, well.

Salabars need bouncers. That's a good point. People are acting out of control. Well, you're drinking at the salad bar. Taking too much chickpeas. Dude, I did, I did have a gross. I used to go to a Harris Teeter that had a bar in Greenwood. Greenville.

Greenville is a great city. You've been there? Yeah. South Carolina? Why? Did you stand up there. The Zanies downtown. Oh.

I went to Asheville? Ashville's sick. Ashville was great. Asheville is kind of like Portland. Yeah. Did you burn the city down? No, I was like 16. I was there with my grandparents.

Grandparents. Grandparents. You know, it's from Asheville. J. Cole? M.J. Lenderman. He was from Gary, Indiana. M.J. Michael Jackson. Whoa.

Really? Huh. All right. Should we hear a confession, Andrew? Yeah. So you guys don't think it's cool to meet girls at the grocery store? No, we think it's cool. It's never happened.

We think it's cool to meet girls everywhere. We're just not good at it. I can only do it at bars. You're right on that, Strider. Hexom Light has been picking up a lot of girls at the grocery stores recently. Hexom Light. Oh, the looks maxer? Yeah.

Yeah. See, rest he gets it. I'm tapped in. You see, Clivicular just got charged with rape. It's always the long as you expect. I called this months ago that he was this future sex offender. I knew it was going to happen. I call it.

I think Jared Jones is going to die this year. Yeah. He's been saying this like every year for the last couple of years. No, no. This year specifically. It was my prediction at the end of last year. Oh, that Jerry Jones is going to die? Yeah, he's going to die in 2026.

Damn. That's not much time left. The way they're playing. He might do it himself. Guys, that's a little bit of a football burn for you guys out there. A bit of Cowboys fans out there. We're just joking around. Don't worry about it.

We're messing around guys. We're fucking with you. All right, Andrew, let's hear. It's been good, though. We'll say for the Hexam-like fandom. Like, we're always beefing with the clavicular fandom. Right. And, like, now we kind of finally have something.

Does Hex have any alleys? Alligations? Oh, you call them Alleyes? No, no. And so finally, like, we can finally say we're on the right side of history. Can you pull up Hexham? I've never seen this. What?

Is clivocal? I thought, don't want me like, he's like fucking the Bronwyn. I've literally never even heard of them. Our other prisoners were. I thought you said you knew Hexen life. I know the name. His 47,000 followers. That's not even like.

He's a luxemaxer. He's not a, is he a friend leader? Oh, oh, I do know this guy. Holy shit. He is fantastic looking. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. They all look, they all look like pretty gaunt, though.

Like for how they don't. They bone mashed. For how jacked they are. They look kind of, I mean, I guess I would definitely prefer that to what I'm doing. But yeah, he's been running up the grocery stores. See, the problem is if my daughter wants to date a guy like this who's a looksmaxer, I'm going to have to start looks maxing to have her not date a guy, to mock him to have him not date a guy like this.

Yeah. Her. I'm not mob. So hit me with this, Andrew. It's nice. He like the, like, put it in, like, basketball terms. If clavicular, clavicular is like, liberal. Ron. Rusty, you're getting taint-mogged.

Rusty's getting absolutely tape-mogged right now. We're tape-mogging you, dude. We heard you don't even have a line down your sack. That was actually a generational taint mug. Huge. Confessions. Forgive me, Father, for I've sinned. When I was in high school, I fake sick so I could listen to the new child of Scambino album. But I had done this too many times recently, so my mom used her good insurance to take me to the hospital. I was there for seven hours and it got two shots because I was in too deep to back out.

She still doesn't know. Two shots. How long does it take to listen to a child-dish Gambino album? I don't know, but I'm saying if those shots were any sort of pain relief type thing, maybe that would have you might have really liked that album.

That could have been the boo. Yeah. They'll get a little morphine and listen to the new Gambino. Hell yeah. You can't transport it. That's why I like Dexter. I watched it when I was on Vicodin.

Yeah. That's the only way to watch Dexter's on Vicodin, dude. That's what I heard. My dad said, what was the movie? He was like, when he got his, like, he had, like, knee surgery in, like, the 90s and they gave him some drugs or whatever. And I guess he watched, like, some movie that, like, changed his life. Literally. He apparently was, like, saying to my mom, like, oh, my God, Mary Pat, this is the best fuck.

Like, this movie has, like, completely changed my life and, like, outlook on life. And then, and he kind of still believed it after the drugs were off. And then, like, a couple weeks later, he went to watch again. And he was like, oh, no, this movie sucks. Dude, that's like, uh, that's how I feel. about like mooch town after six beers what's that? That video Chester likes

we used to watch it like all the time it comes up at like every fucking I feel like I kind of remember it but I don't remember what it is I showed it to I showed it to Parker and then he texted me the other it's the worst YouTube video of all time I showed it to our buddy and uh he went to show it again at like a post game or something and he had texted me like what was that video called again

like Moulchtown or whatever and I almost wanted to be like don't play it dude Like it's no one's gonna like it And I texted him the name of it And I go, how did they go? And he goes, they made me turn it off immediately. It's just like This video Chester and I like that has like 5,000 views

What is it again? It's like this made up town in Massachusetts Where it's like the worst place ever And he's like, if you ever You ever had to sodomize a beaver dam Come to Moochtown for two hours. Got it. Yeah.

Yeah. You didn't like that, Andrew? No. No really. Do the summer one? Did I tell you I won the lottery here in Moochtown? Oh yeah, what'd you get? They took my house. See, it goes over exactly how it's going over right now.

I think it's funny and then no one else does. You're a connoisseur. Yeah. You're a connoisseur. I am kind of sore. Connoisseur maxing, dude videos. Yeah. What type of time?

I'm kind of sore. Yes, you are quite this a lot. I guarantee there are at minimum 10 people. They got to cut it off here. They went and watched another YouTube video. It's rough to watch anyone else as you. YouTube video. Someone just switched to music after we made that kind of sort of joke. You know what? I think I'm the lesson in music. The rest of the way it worked.

Dude, you know, I used to like make in high school, I used to burn a, I got emotional. I used to burn a CD for a girl. You'd burn a CD like a mix with like songs that are cool. And like, you know, the fifth song would be like a song that makes you think of her or whatever. The kids now like put like YouTube video mixes together for people and they're like, this is like the YouTube's that I like and I want you to watch them. You make, you make playlist. I had a, I had a playlist art cover made with the with the ladies name and I put together a four on YouTube no on Spotify oh you were part of it you remember this was like that's kind of fire but it's still music though right it's not like funny videos

do like video plays oh oh oh oh where it's like Charlie bit my finger yeah yeah mooch town chocolate rain chocolate yeah exactly have you listened to the lyrics of chocolate rain it's like a while ago I've listened but I haven't heard them I a guy did like a YouTube a video essay on like how deep chocolate rain was and he was like it should have have been it should have been the early 2000s this is America and people were just making fun of him but it was like actually it's like very deep and it's a comment it's a commentary on racism man drew so why don't you wipe that smug fucking look up well I'm saying that that's why that person had to skip high school to listen to childish game you know they needed time to sit with it

it's good point it's a good move really understand the lyrics uh forgive me father for I have sinned over the summer I was bored and I had no relationship or any guys to talk to one guy comes along and after a couple days of knowing him he is already really touchy we are sitting in my bed keep in mind we have kissed once and he decided to ask me a question can i eat your ass i ultimately said yes out of curiosity then he asked me to have sex when he finishes i say no and i think it's time for him to leave he goes to the bathroom and stays in there for 20 minutes heaven or hell for letting a stranger eat my ass and let him kiss me after well you know you know the last part What the fuck are we talking about?

So let me get this straight. You kissed him one time and then he ate your bottom. That is disgusting. I think that that should be reserved for, you've been married for 20 years and like, and like this is a hail marry to like stay together. We're like, we've run out of things to do to talk about.

You can tongue punch my fart box and, and we can maybe, you know, keep this marriage going. So here's the thing Heaven I can't blame this Yeah I think she's gonna go to heaven Heaven for you

This guy was so horny Heaven for everyone involved Everyone's going to heaven here That's what I'm like this is a This sounds like a mutually beneficial Whatever you had your little No no no he was down there Under the assumption of like

I'm gonna eat this person's butt And hopefully it'll Yeah but she never said that Once you eat my ass you get to bone No that's what I'm saying She just goes You can eat my ass And then he went cranked in her bathroom after

Yeah, he cranked. So he did the right thing. He didn't even like... Oh, you think that's what he was doing in there? Of course. Yeah, for sure. Or he was... Eating his own ass.

I thought he was crying. Or it's like a... Well, yeah, you always cry after you crank. It's like a Pavlov's dog thing where like he smelled poop for so long that he had to poop. Yeah, so you went in there. No, I think he cranked. And so I think he got... As long as she's not like regretting it, I think it's a win-win.

And they kissed at the end. So it was a mute. It was a good, it was a nice goodbye. Yeah. I think this is a great thing. Everyone's gone to heaven. And it sounds like they listen to each other. It sounds like, yes, he wanted more.

She kind of wanted less. But he asked and they set boundaries. Do you think he asked from like back there? I think he was like when I'm done back here. It came out her mouth. Oh, it's like in prisoner of not to bring it back to Harry Potter all the time. It's like the voice takes over the teacher who can see into the future. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's speaking, he's using her body as a vessel. And she's like, can we have to have? sex after this. It's like a cup on a string. Her small intestine is the string and her butthole and mouth are the two cups. I was thinking human centipede. Do you think, uh, do you think, that's the movie your dad won't?

Do you think it's so good? Do you think if you talked into someone's butthole with your mouth pressed directly on it, they could hear what you're saying because it would like feel the vibrations? What do you, what do you want for dinner after this? I'm thinking, call me crazy. I'm thinking India. Yeah, they always go bogo on that stuff. Let's go.

Emporium Tye's doing a bogo on Pat Tye tonight. If you want, we can each have our own. You know, I think this is a benevolent scenario. I'm nothing wrong. I'm happy for them. They listen to each other. I think you should probably, I don't, where I'm hung up is the kiss.

Yeah, I mean, it's weird that there's definitely stuff we skipped, but it's fine because it's a right in, but it's like, you kissed and then he's in your bed. I'm like, well, okay, stuff happened in between that. Yeah, I mean, did you. like watch anything. No, I think they had kissed like,

like in a prior hangout. That's what I mean. And then they probably had to kiss a few times. So he, no, she said we kissed once. So that means he came over after they were laying in bed and he goes,

mind if I eat your ass? She was like, no, I got enough to do. If they had kissed before the ass eating, that might have not. She might have been like, we've only kissed once before tonight.

Also, you invited her, him into your bed. That makes me think, all right, something's going to happen here. And then she, I bet you she planted a sea.

of him eating her ass. I think she might have to go to hell. She might be an ass eating, you know, like... Oh, no, I... Do you think she put a scene in her ass and had him eat it out? Yeah, that's... Well, that's how you have to do it. Find it.

It's like when you actually swallow watermelon seed in there. That's the only way to go to that. Go get it. When you swallow gum, that's the only way to get it out. Yes, you have to eat it out of your ass. Yeah, I forgot about it. What the hell are we talking about? I don't know.

Continue and I'm sorry. Do I do another one? All right. Look, this person. brought it up, not a... Oh my, my fuck. This is too long. Is it really good?

There's a phone number at the end of it. I imagine so. I bolded it. Stick with it. Hello, Comfort Podcast Boys. My name is Alicia, and I have a crush of my male co-worker, which is a sin because I have been an out lesbian for six years. We have worked together since October, but in May, I started to look at him a little

different. He's a very conventionally attractive guy, so I didn't think much of it until we started getting along at work, and I realized I indeed had a... massive crush on him. The problem is, besides my sexuality, is that I don't know if he's into me or not. I have never told him that I was gay and he knows that I have guy exes and have men on my hinge. For months, I've been trying to decide if he likes me or not. Here's some things that have happened. We work at a gym where the coach picks some music. He plays songs. He knows I like and also songs he knows I hate just to get my reaction. He would stay after his shift for way longer than he needed to and he would just

Yap and come up with new questions of the week for the studio. Whenever I'm taking his workout class, he brings me heavier weights without asking, pushes me to challenge myself and has spotted me more than once without asking. We're always laughing and never don't have something to talk about. I want to ask him to hang out outside of work, but I'm nervous. He doesn't feel the same way about me. Since I haven't pursued a man in over six years, this all feels very wrong and I'm very out of practice.

Also, he's my coworker. So if I put myself out there and get rejected, it would ruin my role. rapport we have now either help me or tell me I'm going to heaven. Thanks so much and yes you can call me if you want. I think you go for it. I mean if he doesn't even know you're a lesbian he's not going to assume you're a lesbian. Because that would be the one concern is like oh if you've been telling me you're a lesbian and then so he's been like oh I can do these flirt these things that would be taken flirty but I know you're not into it. But if he doesn't even know you're lesbian I think you go for it. Yeah unless like ask if you want to

to maybe scissor? Yeah. I mean, I think you're overthinking. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah, if they're lesbian. He's into it?

If she's lesbian, they, yeah, they should probably start with scissoring. He would be down. If you were like, dude,

you want to rub goches? He'd be like, yeah, I'm down with that. Let's see where this goes. Maybe you could taint mog him. Oh, you got taint mog.

Didn't it feel good to get taint monged a little? It felt pretty good. I, hmm, you know, so how does she do it then? How do you like come on

to your coworker. Bro, you just ask him out and then he's going to do the rest. If you're a girl and a girl asks you out and you're a guy, and this guy seems like a chill-ass fucking dude who, like, is bringing her heavier weights? I like this fucking guy. Bring him a big heavy weight that says, will you marry me? Or will you go out with?

Really, the only thing you can do that will freak him out is if you ask him to marry you, if you don't do that, you're going to be fine. Yeah. And if you're not like, I mean, I don't know her style. like if she has a style that's like she's wears flannel she has a jack skeleton tattoo on her neck okay you're a lesbian okay you're a lesbian okay you're a lesbian okay it's a melissa ethridge that he's always playing for you okay maybe you're lesbian yeah you're not doing that he's not gonna assume right yeah yeah and you're a girl what do you mean you're out of practice

girls don't need any practice getting guys attentions and going out no i mean correct me if on, that's not how it works. You just say, hey, I'd like to get coffee with you sometime. That guy's fucking stoked. If it's a semi-kew girl that you get along with, the answer is yes, let's go. I agree. Unless this guy's the man, he's getting tons of ass everywhere else. And he's like, dude, you're kind of like a nerdy, unless she's like a really like nerdy girl. And he's like, dude, fucking like, there's like no chance. The way you said nerdy girl felt interesting. Like takes her glasses off. Yeah. Like, oh, yeah, maybe if you are nerdy girl. Why is he bringing her heavier weights to work out? Like, what's going on. Oh. Oh, maybe he thinks she needs to be more

buff. Oh, maybe he's trying to build your body into what he wants? That's what he's probably trying to do. That's it. Maybe he's

sculpting you into his perfect woman. Yes. And then he'll ask you out. Yep. Wait a year and see how a sculpting method goes on you.

No, go ask. He's already transformed you sexually. Go ask about. What's he going to do your body? I think you tell him. I think you go, hey, I am a lesbian,

but I think you have changed that. If someone said that to me, I'd be like, oh, bro yeah that's kind of like that's like every guy's drink that's kind of nice that's like a line of dialogue in a movie yeah usually have the opposite effect yeah you know I thought you turn girls yeah girls are straight before they're straight before they're meeting sounds pretty great that's still

powerful they're lesbian after that's still powerful yeah you've created change within someone should you do Halloween costumes that don't exist yeah that's fun yeah uh do you have a good one to start and do you want me to say uh I think you should start but let me pull my well I got one this kind of transitions also of the right in that we just had well why don't I tee it up. Okay. These are the hottest Halloween costumes of 2026. Okay. If you're just a regular basic looking straight guy, just put right Hormuz on your chest and you're the straight of Hormuz. Nice. That's very good. Okay. All right. You like that one? Try this one on for size. Busty Maduro. You're in a gray track suit, blindfold earmuffs on, but you have like huge knockers.

That is very good. Like, wait. Like sexy Maduro. Like Maduro if he was like busty as the days long. Yes. Oh. Into it. I know it's a bit of a thing. Hopefully it's one size fits all.

Shirley Hurdle. She's a foosball coach and a total chocaholic. Okay. In an effort just to try to get laid, this completely exists, but it's just shirtless ghost face. You're a dude. And you just have jeans on and a ghost face mask and no shirt. Yeah, good luck not getting late. I like that a lot.

Okay, Iowa Pledgemaster and Sexy Pledge. So you're the guy with the Vap and the Backwards Hat and then your girlfriend could be like the sexy pledge. That is good. That is another good one. That is good. That's a good couple's costume too. Fun.

Yep. Chuck Chutney, he's a math teacher and he can't play the piano. I love you. That's awesome. I mean, everyone's going to be doing chutney. Just. Tom Holland.

Yep. I like them. Yeah, yeah, everyone's doing Spider-Man. Yeah. Plain-closed, Tom Holland. Okay, I like it. Okay, another couple's costume, McDonald's, CEO, and sexy burger. So, you know, you're, you know, you could be with your girlfriend and you're like, taking little bites out of her burger costume.

And then reviewing it properly? Reviewing it? Because this is the 2026 trend of CEOs are like reviewing burgers. Right. Yes. That's right. banana pancakes. She's a total free spirit and she's never seen the sun. I love that. Woodwear and a good lady's costume. Way to be thinking about the ladies. I'm going to go with,

uh, you can do that a duo with Al Palace too. Good call. His dad's a Hornets fan, but not the team. Okay, everyone's going to be dressing as Donald Trump. Right. Not everyone's going to be dressing as Donald Trump in a FIFA ref outfit. Oh, yes. Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Love it. Okay, should we do slang words that don't exist? Yeah. These are even more slang words that don't exist. You want to start a strider?

Okay, this one is... You're a honeymaker. All right. You know when it's like your boy's about to cross the street and there's an e-scooter coming and you have to like save them from like stepping into the road? Yeah. You got to go, bro, that was cozy. So you say that if it was a close call.

Ooh. I like that. No, you're getting a little too cozy there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. Okay. lipped out like a putt in golf. It's when something almost worked out,

but at the last second, it didn't go your waist. You're like, did you take that girl home from the bar last night? And you're like really close, lipped out. I love that. I like that a lot. That is effective thing. That's great.

Tight. This is like when your buddy really needs to, like, loosen up a little bit, you'd be like, yo, my boy's so tight. Oh, man. Okay. Buckle in. Okay.

Sounds like Willie, for this segment did what my term applies to which is when you're not ready for a meeting or you haven't done any prep and you're very confident you go I'm a no scope this and you just do it and wing it

winging it I like that I'm a no scope it I unfortunately did write all these down all right whole it's when something's like worse than ass you're like do not get the pad tie from that place it is whole that's amazing dude

That's great. Shriveled. This is like your, your boy who like could really use, like opening up a little bit more like, bro's totally shriveled. Like my buddy is so shriveled. Okay.

That's really good. I like that. Wait, did you know the tight one is real? Because the shriveled one is new, right? The tight one's not real. That's a real sign word, right? Like, dude, you're tight. Not as applied.

Not as really applied in. Oh, my boy is so fucking tight. Yeah. I think that it. He's so tight. Like uptight? Like, wait, what was, how was it again? Like, my buddy's, like, tight.

Like, he's like, he's like, grippy. All right. This one, you know, a lot of these slang words, they apply, there's for extraverse. You know, you're letting people know how you're feeling. You're letting people know what's going on around you. You're using it in a group setting. This one applies muttered to yourself alone.

And then, like, use best applied when, like say you finish work for the day or you're about to leave somewhere or even you're gonna finish a beer by yourself you just go, checkpoint complete and leave. I like that. That's awesome.

Just checkpoint complete. That's fantastic. Checkpoint complete. If I heard a guy finish your beer say checkpoint complete, to himself. Yeah. The important part, you can't announce it.

No, but it'd be nice if someone maybe heard it. Hopefully, that's why you do it a little bit under your breath. Checkpoint complete. It's not, yeah, it's not a, it's not performative. I like that. Checkpoint complete. I'm gonna start using that. Yeah, that's a good move.

Fuck, you're so good at this. I just, I'm sorry, man. I try to do like a funny thing. You, I think costumes you dominated. Yeah. Really? Yeah.

Uh, starter. Someone who's in, like, your core crew. You're like, dude, you know what? Strider and I have been getting pretty close now. He's a starter now. I like that. Oh, that's amazing. Stuff.

This is like a verb. Like, if you feel like your boy's been a little like kind of low energy, a little deflated later, it's like, yo, we got to stuff him. Oh, fuck. that one could be misconstrued Hey let's go to Evan's house and stuff him Stuff him with what

I don't know but we need as many dudes as we can find Let's go get Evan and stuff him If you think Evan's like going through some jeep Go let's go to his crib and stuff Dude Evan's dad just died Maybe he's tight or a little shriveled Let's go to his house and stuff him

Dude do you know Evan's so tight We need to go stuff him I don't know, man The idea that gets me kind of shrivel Dude, come on, bro Let's just go complete this checkpoint Let's go stuff Oh my God

It's like your boy Who's like sad Evan's so tight Let's go stuff it Yeah, I think Evan's a little down in the dump So let's all go over to his crib Go up to his crib and stuff him Yeah, it's like you build him up

Evan, do you want to be a starter? You're going to have to get stuffed All right We love you guys Strider. Thank you so much for coming on. Do you have anything you want to plug? Nothing. Hey, I'm full-time at Friday beers now. Oh, yeah.

Plug your baby, bro. Yeah. Plug. Plug. Babies can be used as plugs. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Later, guys.

I love you. That was fucking awesome episode. That was so fun, dude.