Will & Rusty's Playdate - I food poisoned myself

Episode Date: January 19, 2026

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where some see heroes and others see egos bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes while others follow the noise we follow the money learn more at bloomberg.com play date play date episode 185 close 176 fun that feels that feels like a lot that is a lot i think once we once we hit 200 then we'll be good then we'll have talked about everything what i can't i don't think there's anything like i don't even have the only time i have a new story from my past is when i like uncover a childhood memory i know a neat that is that which is a beautiful moment sometimes you'll have something that makes you think of a story that you haven't thought of in yeah 20 years imagine

20 years maybe we bring one of those people in that shows us like the the ink ink blots and is like what and like the marauders map kind of like the marauder what it's similar to the marauders map in the sense that it's paper and ink okay do you know what an ink blot is yeah is it plot or Plot. Wait, what? Plop. Oh, blot. Ink blot.

And so therapists will be like, and what does this make you think of? And if you say butterfly, they're like, you're good. And if you say, like, devil raping me, they're like. Jesus. No, that's like a common answer. Why would I say that? Well, you wouldn't because you don't have any trauma. Pull up an ink blot.

First thing, immediately. Ah, devil raping me. Fuck, you're right. See what I mean? Oh, my God. See what I mean? Wait, the one to the right of that. No, that looks like a bat.

the one to the right of that feels like they kind of mailed it yeah what i would just be like that ink that looks like like textbook goo yeah you're like spilled spilled ink wait that looks like a bat or a pumpkin bat pumpkin bat okay so pumpkin bat means what is pumpkin bat pumpkin bat means uh you you're gonna sprain your ankle this spring damn it i know i wish i hadn't seen pumpkin bit i i know you ever sprained your ankle no i got a high ankle sprain in sixth grade most pain i've ever been in my life did you go to the hospital i went to hospital and they made it worse they're like fuck you they kind of they have to get they were they thought it was broken so they had to get an x-ray from the top and then they need one where it's from the side yeah and

if anyone had told me that they were going to do the side one i would have just rolled over but she just grabbed it and just went like sideways to get the side part without moving my body and i'm i'm convinced that it made it worse wow yeah she should lose her fucking medical license did you ever get her info we could take her down yeah we should ruin that woman's career it was like a woman it was like a nurse in the middle of maine oh like that could be a steven king book yeah okay here's a question yeah i not a question no i sprained my never tell you want to pull my hamstring no eighth grade i was a star of our basketball team we we didn't win a single game but i was legitimately the star and captain of our i believe it now yeah you're the

captain yeah you're leading you're leading men into just getting i'll never forget coach coach duncan coach sam duncan shut up coach he gave us all a copy of a book at the end of the season and in mine it said will you were the unspoken leader like i wasn't formally captain right like You were the unspoken leader and captain of this team all year. And I was like. Did that get to you that, like, the group of men you were leading were not successful once? No, because it had nothing to do with heart. It was strictly talent.

We were so bad at basketball. And I was. We were tiny. We were all, like, kids still. And we were going up against grown-ass men. What league was this? The Catholic. They're like, and St. John's Prep has the Boston Celtics tonight.

It's what it felt like. I mean, we were playing what? what was it fucking what was our rival again i don't remember but they they were fucking bitches or something that is a weird what was it sixth grade eighth grade eighth grade is uh yeah eighth grade's when when there's the biggest disparity of like people who have and have not hit puberty there were 13 kids in my grade so everyone had to play basketball right to feel the team between seventh and eighth grade it was like there were only like over 50 percent of the boys enrolled at the school had to be on the basketball team if three kids said no

you just couldn't feel the team we didn't know you couldn't court a team exactly and uh anyway we one time we played buce we lost they had bryson rose he's a sharpshooter from the three-point are we supposed to know this guy or was he just kind of hot in the charleston he was hot i think he broke the state record for like three pointers he went to my high school i actually knew him pretty well but uh anyway but he was on buste and buste beat us 63 to 3 who who nailed the three i'm so glad you asked i banked it in it's the only basket because we couldn't get they were so much taller than us right i just we were just hacking them up from like half court like i hit it from like curry range it was like bank shot because if i got closer then their hands were

so tall i couldn't get the ball your coach duncan's like if you see the hoop let it go literally that was and you barely saw the hoop also coach duncan pretty good name for a basketball player um but anyway so what was this oh state tournament eighth grade how'd you guys make the state tournament it was the catholic school tournament so like everyone made it because there weren't like that many oh i thought you were gonna be like it was the catholic school tournament so we were going off of like acceptance yeah no it was like whoever had the most prayers i thank god there was like a there's a wild card for like the team who prayed the most um you got beat out by like some monks yeah oh yeah that oh god thank god there weren't monks speaking of

what's like they don't have to go to class they just pray all day yeah it's no fair they don't even talk or nothing they don't even know anyone those guys don't even know anyone anyway that's your that's your reasoning yeah they don't know they're not no one's gonna come see them they don't have any fans they're at the top of they lock themselves in a mountain no one even knows them they live in there there was a town right by charles called monk's corner okay i'm listening i don't know anyway so i'm going up for a basket and i feel a pop in my leg and i go now i'm like i get carried off the court i can't finish the game our season is ending on that game women are weeping yeah like the season like he's our unspoken leader i see yeah

our season ends with me it's finally spoken we've never said it out loud it was the last game it was like double elimination and if we lost that game our whole season was over and i had to sit on the bench in agony and watch it happen and it was carried to the car and taken to the hospital i literally thought i'd like broken my leg and they're like uh yeah i think you pulled your hamstring a little but like we did a bunch of x-rays like there's no bone damage or anything it'll be fine and i was like well am i getting crutches and they're like uh if you want i guess if you want i was like well i can't walk out of here which definitely could have walked out of there and i was a pride and i think i was on crutches for two weeks yeah yeah and but when

i show back about that because we had to go to myrtle beach for the tournament so it was like we're all staying in a hotel so are the girls team what was it like when your parents are like writing these checks to like get the team there are they like can we just what do we just put it the college fun i we haven't you guys haven't even come close i think they knew that it was the pinnacle of my athletic career right so they were like like i was the star of the team man i was doing moves you hadn't even thought of everyone's like you imagine you're doing the coach the coach is like in my wildest dreams they're up by 80 but he's pissed because you came up with like a move that no one's thought of i invented the euro step i think anyway

you had just got back from spain what do we call it it's the step i've got something the spanish steps isn't that a thing my parents were just there yeah wait what they're in rome right now oh nice what is that it's just like i think they call is that where the no that's what's the fountain in italy that like the trevi found millions of of coins going every year trevi yeah where do they put those uh your dad's water jug when i sprayed my ankle they they didn't give me like the the real like walking cast they just gave me one of those like kind of fucking mailed in air casts you know where you just kind of like wrap it around it's like not doing anything my ankle was the size of like like a woman's basket

like a skills skills basketball and so it was like no one believed like the cast looked like i was faking it yeah but it was so purple and gross that it was like i feel like you should be in a reg in like a regular one sounds like we had the opposite problem because i had like crutches and stuff for a thing where i could have walked i think the the like clinic that i went into because it happened in uh casco maine so there's not a hospital for like a very yeah so i think the place i went into they kind of where's casco is that in the casco bay no yeah confusingly not it's uh it is where hoop camp is if that helps oh yeah i'm trying to find me a casco bay yeah just kidding yeah wait but i was gonna say so i get on crutches i get back to the hampton inn

and all you know the girls team is there and it's like damn like oh well i'm like i'm okay i'll be brave we go to jimmy buffett's margaritaville for dinner kid you not every school trip to myrtle beach which was like two or three times a year we would that's just where everything was we would have like beta club did you have that or like no it's beta club it was that's kind of a funny name and now the kids that haven't like hit people no it's like do you have beta club it was like different like there was like uh they're like different cat like it was like almost nothing about what categories there wasn't really it wasn't even really a club like during the year like i think maybe you did like service stuff and then there'd be like a conference where

you would go and like compete in all sorts of different categories what like trivia some of like i was on like geography i think so it's an academic then there was like paint people could paint stuff and enter like the art can you go it's like a renaissance it was like a renaissance anyway i was gonna say i get back to so i'm wearing the crutches in myrtle beach blah blah we get back to school the first week after i've been wearing it for like a week we get back to school day one i get there the elevator's broken and i'm like you know what this might not be that bad of an injury like i got off the crutches within like 24 hours of having to go up and down the stairs someone's like i could have sworn yeah you like look around and i but it was all in my

head like i was fully convinced i was like very badly hurt it was wait yeah beta club competitions maybe google so like it's like a decathlon um no go to the go to the words tell me anything about it it's like it's just yes click on that first link maybe the book battle yeah it's like a nerd's version of a food fight it like hurts way more like there's it's like yeah i guess they have this is like a book battle you could do wait go back what let's not get hung up on the book battle and then like apparel design what is it like you compete in like whatever wait so there it's like a big it goes all the way from trading pins to there is an engineering competition yeah like there's things where you like build like a robot okay but then there's ones that's just like a

geography b basically and were people like hooking up at this or what what was i think like it was like at the beginning of when you were starting to feel those kind of feelings i think maybe it was fun to like go on a school trip with boys and girls and stay in a hotel with other kids from around the i certainly was not hooking up with anyone like academic you turn it into that what happens if you click on academics so it's just academic there's a proctoring require i feel like i know less about the baby club after visiting their website it's like a b man it's like we design t-shirts and they're also kids like but they're all going on at the same time like in different rooms in a conference like a convention center so like you go up and like

you're like the geography competition round one is in room 25 on floor two and it's like you go find your room okay and then there's kids in the in this is this make any sense you Andrew I'm picturing like a like a decathlon kind of like the sport an academic decathlon no but you're not doing all the things you pick you enter whichever one you want to enter you can only do one no you can do as many as you want what kind of people were there kids okay that adds up like from all buying it like you could enter like the book battle or like the right t-shirt design we go into the let's just see just for shits and gigs what's the what is the it's to the right what is the book battle the book battle is like a it's right there it's like a

it's a competition okay a club may enter one team each team must consist of four members teams will be given 30 minutes to complete this competition so they kind of are using the same wording as you which is just it seems just like kind of general competition there's not a real the test is an online multiple so you're just going to a different place to take tests with kids from other schools i guess i don't know and then they would have like a dance and they would play like now let me see you what what what what what what what what what what they go back do when it went wop and then wobble back to back that was like peak 2014 they had those wobble baby wobble baby wobble baby water do you remember those no and you know what i'm talking about

those speakers that like back in like vine days where it was like it would like shoot water to the beat it was like it was like the cool i think you had you had a pair no someone had a pair of those wobble baby wobble baby wobble baby wobble yeah these guys oh it was like the coolest get in there yeah so did i'm still kind of hung up on this like were people hooking up there yeah what grade was it like eighth six seventh and eighth okay i don't think i had spoken to a woman until eighth grade i mean i wasn't i didn't i haven't i still haven't spoken to a woman yeah you and lauren just do like asl dude i was sick this weekend what'd you have i food poisoned myself i think flan has that this more had that she woke me up at two in the morning this morning

and was like my stomach hurts so bad and she like went dude something's going around because apparently teeper and rick also had it this weekend so maybe i didn't food did you throw up like twice friday night in the middle of the night i had to wake up and go and puke my guts out twice i was like fucked all saturday and then sunday i woke up and i was like pretty much fine and today i'm completely fine but now lauren has it now lauren was up puking last night so is it contagious because i was taking like no precautions i mean i was taking no precautions well i wasn't with anyone but lauren but like she was like i think you're i think it's it seems like a food thing i don't think it's contagious but then she got because she didn't have it and we ate the same

meal but then she got it like the next i don't know flan's not at work because of it this morning yeah same well yeah there's a few factors she wouldn't be at work yeah even if she's it she's their last week of her like putting her two weeks in so yeah i think god that's gotta feel so i need i love this job so much but i might get another one just so i can feel the feeling of putting my two weeks in i it's like no one is gonna get you to do anything for two weeks no it's she's like i'm yeah she was like i think i'm gonna call in sick then i was like yeah definitely yeah i don't think they're i don't think they're gonna be like no two up in arms about it but yeah wait now i'm worried because i was like but she is sick she yeah so now i'm like maybe i'm bad but

i don't think i did it flan had like convinced herself because she was googling all the she was googling her symptoms yeah and she was like uh i'm salivating a lot i was like that feels like another thing i feel like if you think about it you'll start doing it right but she was like that she goes i think it might just be acid reflux and i was like oh okay yeah then i went to bed and then in the morning i was like what is acid reflux and she was like i don't know that was just one of the things that spit out but we also i would say yeah with it with acid reflux i think it's just like you stay away from like spicy foods like vinegars like white rice black beans corn salsa a little of pico so if you're mexican cheese you're screwed guac i'll do the lettuce

uh just a little bit of the lettuce and then the shredded cheese yeah and then could i do a side tortilla so you just want to you kind of wanted to stay away from mild mild corn cheese guac yeah chicken actually can i do some of the roasted veggies like with the chicken is that okay if i added on some of the veggies too great but i'm worried because flan and i ate every every meal together from friday well that was the thing is we i cooked i was like chefing it up i guess on friday and i cooked us dinner and then i woke up all sick and i was like well we ate the same damn thing yeah we ate the same day thing jerry i'm jerry sandville we well george so i was confusing it's like a southern bell she got it the day later george george and elaine you're crazy

you see the wholesome moment where jaguars coach liam cohen was uh the reporter in the press conference let me get this straight did i see the wholesome moment where the jaguars head coach cohen was the report what he was like the report in the press conference like i don't have a question i just wanted to tell you you did a great job like you you gave it your all this year and you should keep your head up keep your chin up you didn't see it he was like what decade are you from no she it was like an old black lady it was like a wholesome moment okay okay and everyone was like they had me in the comments being like auntie you know auntie got him you know auntie got him you did you actually comment no but that's like what all

you know auntie got him like that what does that even mean like like auntie like i mean i i i don't know i just felt like auntie had him you know you know auntie oh you know auntie make the best mustard greens what why that's like when they see when there's whenever i see like a nice like fat guy on tiktok all the comments are like i you like you you know he gives the best hugs it's always He's like, I know you're trying to be nice, but that's kind of a... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, he has like a cheat code for hugs. Do you think...

What were you going to say? Dude, unreal. So I'm like sick all weekend. So I was like, I was so pissed. I actually got so mad. I was like, Lauren was like, dude, chill out. Like I was like getting like a piss. Because you were so sick?

No, just because like she kept talking. No, I'm just kidding. Because... You kept flapping those gums. No, because I was sick, and it was the most beautiful day I think I've seen in a year. It was Saturday. It was like 70 degrees and sunny. It was perfect.

And I was bedridden. But then, I was like, fuck, and I just have to sit here. I was like, I guess I'll watch football. The best football weekend of my life. I know. Every single game, except the Pats one, was awesome. Yeah, the Pats was a little boring, but we... I think we got through those first game jitters.

I think that's exactly how Tom Brady won his first playoff game, so I'm expecting six Super Bowls. I was remnant. The only time I've ever been to a Gillette Stadium was a Chargers-Pats game. I'm sure I talked about this when it happened, but I went with my dad like a few years ago, and the final was 6-3,

and we had splurged for tickets in the end zone, and all three field goals happened in the other end zone. So we didn't even get to see a kick near us. oh it was and it was pouring rain and freezing cold it was like horrible it looked it looked miserable in foxborough andrew how was your weekend it was great i was also a little sick stomach bug and no stomach bug but like really intense brain fog i've been like i was also like really mad this weekend yeah i feel like i've been like really irritable um but then also really emotional because i was like crying to videos of fettywap getting out of jail yeah yeah that's

a bad combo irritable and uh irritable and sad i was just so mad i was just so i like today this weekend would have been so perfect to just do anything outside yeah i actually didn't step foot outside so i have no idea yeah how the weather was but isn't it like always sunny and 70 no it's 70 no it's been not 70 at all it's sunny and or sun it this week is gonna be unreal it's gonna be like he's right it's 69 right now nice it's good i think it's gonna be almost 80 on saturday um i went to uh thunderbird thunder and i walked in and the bartender uh gave me a tequila shot w he was trying to bribe me to to review the bar and then immediately it was so packed we decided to go to q's instead yeah and so immediately after opening a tab and him giving

me a free shot i just we all i were one beer and then was like oh you know i have to close out he He was like, what? He was like, that's a horrible start to your night if you were closing out after one beer. And I was like, we have to leave. And he looked at me like it was something he did. Like I didn't like the tequila shot or something. You didn't like my tequila shot, man? You didn't like my warm tequila shot?

Why don't they put those bottles in ice? I'm tired of warm tequila. I think it's worse, right? Cold tequila? I don't know. Is cold tequila worse, Andrew? Yeah, I'd rather it warm. I'm getting that feeling.

Does that answer your question? Yeah. i'm getting that feeling now that i'm worried that i have the stomach thing this is how i felt did i tell you about the norovirus disaster last year maybe i'm sure you did did you have that no i dodged a bullet we were in a house there were eight people and six of them got norovirus where were you in the house with eight people harper's house for new year's so it like started with my friend harper's girlfriend she gave it to harper harper gave it to our friend peter and we were all like within close quarters so people were

just slowly like move off like because they can't be around anyone and then i had to fly home i'm the i'm one of three people that hasn't gotten it yet and it's time to fly home and i'm like i convinced myself i'm sick very easily so i was sitting on the plane just waiting for it to happen never happened w i heard norovirus is the worst one though at least that at least that were you pooping too uh not diarrhea oh just normal pooping yeah which is i think what from what i read an indication of a less severe that it was like i don't know you've read slab pizza in portland no i thought that was like gonna be a disease he's got slab he's got slab pizza no it's uh did it give you a disease it's so good but i've only

had it once and it gave me food poisoning and no one no one wants to believe me because it's like everyone's favorite i don't even know if it still exists but it was everyone's favorite pizza place for a while and so i was i was an unpopular guy telling people that i got food i mean i i was so caught off guard because i literally haven't been sick ever like i didn't miss a single day high school that's insane like i not even just to like fake it no that's what i was gonna say like maybe there's a day like i mean i think there's like one day my mom let me do that but like yeah you guys don't strike me as a as a uh lenient sick house oh not at all it was like if you're if you can get up and you can you can get off and dust your shoes off you're going to the

yeah damn right and ain't that the truth yeah no and but i never got sick ever and then so i was like so caught off guard i felt like a baby i was like i haven't i don't know how to deal with this like what do you want like day quill or emergency i was like i don't know what any of that is i've literally never taken i i don't know i've never taken day quill in my life i've never taken i never had emergency in my life i've never emergency emergency is good just in general i know i just like it was all like uh emergency is one of my hangover cures um they I'm in an emergency. Got invented an emergent bee.

Fuck. Fuck, I knew it. That name makes way less sense. I knew I was right on the cusp of it. Whatever, man. I don't give a fuck. But I couldn't eat. That was the main symptom, is I couldn't eat anything.

For like two days, I had no appetite. And then last night, I just went pound town on some cupcakes at my buddy Oliver's birthday party. That feels like a good way to reintroduce yourself to food. No, it probably wasn't. Just cake and frosting. It was awesome, though. it felt like a such a nice treat after my i had a euro and then i had a bunch of cupcakes oh yeah i don't uh the food the food truck euros kind of scare me who said food truck where else do you

get a restaurant really yeah i feel like i've only seen them on wheels a euro yeah you never like a greek restaurant i went to one greek restaurant in new york kava oh i've had kava maybe euros hmm oh what happened at the one greek restaurant uh we went in new york and it just none of i don't think i'm a mediterranean food guy oh that's none of it sounded good to me the world this was before i liked hummus too now i'm a big hummus oh i love hum i love it oh i love speaking of willie was eating pretzels and hummus in my car and i didn't like look over at his seat flan got in my got in my car yesterday or two no and was like did you go to the beach and i was like no i don't i don't think so and i look over at will seat there was so many pretzel crumbs no

it literally it looked like someone had taken a cup of sand and just poured it on my it was like the finest pretzel crumbs it was not a big deal at all but she was only the finest it was it was enough pretzel crumbs that she thought i had gone to the beach without her i'm sorry do you always eat pretzels when you go to the beach oh yeah it's still clearly pretzels which is like did you go to the beach when'd you go to the beach oh what's up with the beach i don't know man not not a fan lately really no i'm joking i might go on saturday morning it's gonna be 80 degrees it's monday yeah but it's gonna be 80 degrees on saturday so it seems like here's my thing it seems like you have your finger on the pulse of the weather a little bit

more than i do yeah well you know you know what it is you know what it's gonna be i just looked at it yesterday i never looked but i was like it's so hot i gotta look at the weather and sure enough i want to get into like uh i want to get on like a little league baseball team coaching or playing ideally playing but most likely coaching yeah i'd coach i want to like coach a baseball team maybe that could be like a good volunteering thing yeah we could like get our hours well i don't know if i i don't want to be like co-manager you could be like my first base coach wait why don't you want to be co-manager i want the power okay yeah i could i could do first base coach yeah first base coach in little leagues just don't send a kid if you send someone

he gets out i i will be so quick to make a change at first you have no idea do you see that let little league catcher get caught in like a tornado what pull up like little league baseball tornado this kid a real tornado it's like a i think they in the midwest they have a different name for it when it's this size a typhoon yeah dust devils dust devil swirls through infield during youth baseball game oh my god wait what that looks like a full-blown tornado that's insane yeah it looks like there'd be like a cow and like a guy in a bathtub yeah yeah like a fence whenever i see videos like that i understand how like medieval people and they all just like walk back to where they were yeah all right who's up all right two strikes that's how that's how like

myths started or people believed in like ancient gods back in the day it's like if you saw that you didn't have any concept of like the weather yeah yeah you'd be like this is unbelievable he doesn't want us to play baseball he doesn't want us to play little league baseball god hates baseball or something it took me three and a half hours to do the word all yesterday i'm not proud of it you like on and off okay i was gonna say there's no way you had that like dedication it was probably 20 minutes yesterday yesterday it was it was uh it was some like bullshit q word i don't know quizler the whatever happened to the quizler wait i want to see what it was yesterday i i'm getting back into my games what kind of games wordle tradle flaggle worldle

where taken where taken us global daily tens sometimes the connections well connections is better than all it's like my whole morning uh wait i want to figure out what this one moment everyone just hold tight i went to ralph's this morning and uh when i was checking out like you know how they like if you don't have like a your card or like code number or whatever they'll just like scan theirs for you what is this oh it was quark uh q u a r k yeah quark quark i know what that means it's like a particle it's like an electron i was so mad trying to figure it out bang whoa i was never i was never very good at chemistry okay anyway the uh you know how they always like like if you if you're at the grocery store and you don't have your thing

they'll just like scan theirs for you what like whole foods no like ralph's what if you don't have your membership card yeah oh i've never had one is this you save so much money you've never no i'm at whole foods and i scan my prime membership okay but like have you ever gone to like a normal grocery store like hannaford or shaw's or i've never asked for the i don't think i've ever been i think they take one look at me and they go that guy doesn't have rewards here no that's my point like if you don't have it then they scan theirs to give you a discount yeah i think they just like you more than me no they this happens no this happens all the time to you yeah why do everyone why don't they just bring the prices down well that was kind of what

i was gonna say oh what are they getting out of this um i think they can use your gas points if they do that yeah or clerk yeah there's gas points at ralph's yeah because every time you scan you get two times fuel points on what where on there's no gas station at ralph's though i think they have a partnership with like chevron or something oh yeah so i when i lived in san diego they would always scan this one that was 619 and then just a bunch of sevens all the way through and to this day i still scan that one and i got my receipt the other day and it said i had like a million fuel points and i was like oh my god i should probably like everyone uses everyone uses it so whose account is that i have no idea but i think anyone can cash out on the fuel points

oh if you just go to a chevron you could use them i could use it wait where did you get the number i'm confused it was from a clerk it was because yeah it was because i didn't have a number and so the clerk came over and was just like six one nine seven seven seven seven seven and i was like oh i'm just gonna use that in the future because i don't want to give them my phone number and then i realized the other day that there were just like a million so you just have like free gas for life i i don't know like i i haven't you could spend it with that i i figured someone else was spending them but i think that there was just like a million that i think everyone is just this and you just said it out loud yeah but like i there playmates let us know if you get free gas yeah

there's the playmate fun i find yeah playmate gas fun if you listen to if you listen to play date in your car you can use that if you don't you can if you're currently at a chevron try using it's a chevron specific points i believe so yeah so you you will never have to pay for none of us will ever have to pay i'm gonna be honest i'm perplexed at the fact that you've never used a grocery store membership card i didn't know that it existed that's like any discount price you see the grocery store is only if you use that like you probably say you save so much money so much i don't understand why has no one ever asked me every time they they've asked me everything either pops up on the self-checkout or they'll ask you like do you have a vip if you're on harris

teeter they're like do you have your vip card and you punch in your phone number either your phone number or you scan the card yeah most people just punch in their phone number any like so i've just been buying groceries full price like a fucking schmuck yeah like today it would save me it was 40 and i entered the guy scanned his thing and they went down to 30 can i be honest with you yeah i i don't remember last time i like in-person grocery you're instacarting i don't even really buy groceries where do you get your food you just eat out every meal uh more than i'd care to i have eggs and canadian bacon at home for breakfast where do you get that i bought that at whole foods the other day i mean whole foods is about if you're scanning your prime membership that's

like the same thing sometimes i'll pick up like a cut of meat from whole foods and make that with some microwave broccoli and then most of the other times i'm post mating yeah which i feel like now that i'm saying this out loud i could be saving like well that's part of that's my new year's resolution i was pretty bad about it at the end of last year but i've so far i haven't i haven't eaten out once this year well i went out to dinner with lauren on like a date but like i haven't like ordered myself food you've been eating out all year that's gonna take a toll on your relationship well that's really selfish of you that is disgusting man well that's like a uh it's like a pussy joke how long do you think i don't know how long they're gonna let you do this i really

don't know but every day is agony um stealers are playing tonight yep no that's a week old now oh okay wait so tell me tell me how to grocery shop how have you been doing it oh my mom texted me she goes have you had the chicken meatballs from from trader joe's i go no she goes just meat and spices there's like no other stuff that's so rare i was like okay I'm not a good grocery shopper I eat a lot of frozen stuff but my big thing is knocking out like lunch

I just get a loaf of bread cold cuts and cheese I feel like you've been on that yeah you just asked me I feel like you've been doing that for like a year oh that's not part of the new that's a habit you've already built

oh well that's just getting back into being more religious about it and then breakfast too I get yogurt and granola i i almost wanted to maybe just start doing like a a factor type thing i think that would because my thing is i just don't it's such a daunting task for me to make the dinner and then clean the dishes dinder so i if i do eat it at home it's usually frozen stuff which i feel is not good for me yeah that's what i'm trying to get better about for like dinders i just do a lot I make a lot of sausage, peppers, and onions, but I've been leaning on that too much.

I made chicken, potatoes, and asparagus for Lauren and I on Friday, and then we both got food poisoning. Do you think there's a chance you got salmonella? I don't think so, because I got it a day before she did, so I don't know. What was the chicken? Did it look cooked? Oh, it was definitely cooked, yeah. Okay.

I cook insane chicken, dude. i discovered a new chicken sauce a new wing sauce we ordered wings last sunday and there was one called zach attack and there was no other description about it so we were just like i mean we'd be fools not to that's your roommate's name yes yeah so we were like we'd be fools not to we ordered 50 wings and like 25 or 15 of them were uh zach attack and it was it was a mixture of honey of a lemon zest and uh buffalo sauce and it was delish that's how i sound good i zach attack i was i was just thinking about like how much money you can make like if i ever went on to order something and like one of the options is like willie's way

done maybe just pick like yeah yeah what's the most yeah it's like john's way the muhammad mustard wing yeah there could be something there i want to be someone yeah i think you will be someday is that that nba championship trophy up there no that is what like a high school championship one looks like that's what our high school looked like got it bear bells you're just pointing things yep i'm doing i'm usual suspecting you i'm very i'm getting very excited for japan yeah we'll be in japan when this episode comes out how crazy we're gonna be watching the national championship from japan at 9 30 in the morning yeah and then what are we doing is that the night we go do the bars i don't remember i think maybe

we go to disney when we're over there andrew we're doing universal drinking around universal drinking around their version of epcot a night out in tokyo and then a hangover video and i think a night out in osaka we're going nuts we're doing five videos in five days we're becoming like the vloggers of the year well it's japan month yeah we're doing japan here's what's crazy do you remember that who hot who's high video we did with andrew yeah do you remember that that was just a funny like when we were all getting high i know and like andrew what andrew was i know i just feel like we should break that down i saw a comment that i'm rage baiting i can't i cannot believe it if you look back through that conversation the whole time i'm sitting

there i'm like oh no we're gonna get fucking eaten alive for this yeah whatever man whatever fucking whatever man i don't give a fuck i'm the bad boy podcasting i don't even care i'll show hole i don't give a fuck can i go pee really quickly i'm showing hole i'm showing hole on broadway i guess i might as well go as well that camera stand says manfrotto i'm gonna pretend like there is a really famous soccer player named manfrotto that i can't believe he hasn't heard of manfrotto he's like the italian star he's like the next generation what says manfrotto that tripod right there it'll be like a usual suspect so then i'll just like point at it and be like Got him.

Okay, ready? I'm going to go pee too, but that's the prank. This episode is brought to you by BetMGM. If you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE and you'll get up to a $1,500 new player offer on your first wager with BetMGM. Willie, tell them how it works. All you got to do is download the BetMGM app and sign up using bonus code PLAYDATE. Deposit at least $10 and place your first wager on any game.

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so so let me get this straight you're an you're an ai dog He's peeing So I don't get it What is it? Alright That was our AI dog segment i got a pretty interesting dm to my personal account okay i don't want to read okay i can't not say this anymore i held back because i thought it'd be weird but as a therapist and avid listener

of the pod please read this for the sake of will's pelvic health i was a pelvic floor physical therapist assistant in california for 2022 to 2024 and i think you may have a hyper or hypotonic pelvic floor which is causing you to pee all the time i suggest going to a pelvic floor physical therapist and they'll help work with you so it doesn't get worse or so you no longer have that problem i don't have health insurance what why it's free here i don't think it's free it's not free doesn't it come with our employment i mean you have to still pay for it every month it just comes out of your paycheck ah knew that money was going somewhere what are you fucking laughing about i don't know how much is it it's definitely not like hundreds of dollars i have helmet shirts

but that was just a funny my dumb guy for not knowing that no it's just a fun i mean do you are you enrolled in the company plans yeah are you are you still on your parents no i was never on my parents i don't think well definitely were for most of your life you can be oh sorry sorry since since i've been an adult okay i believe i think there may have been i just switched one year to this yeah but i never had a i never had like a car well in your defense when you switched it used there were they used to pay they used to offer plans that they covered 100 of yeah there was like zero dollar premiums but now last year they had a meet they had an announcement where they're like sorry so yeah edge said we're we are restructuring our holiday schedule for

last year were you in this were you there when he said all they did was make instead of fridays before mondays they have early outs and then we got juneteenth back back we took it we took we got juneteenth back yeah uh wait that's the only holiday they added he set up the schedule this morning what it's in it it's the same it's just we got juneteenth back so we don't have any like long weekends anymore no we have all the same ones we just instead of a full day friday off we get out two on friday but we still have all the mondays off that we had nice and then we just doesn't really make sense to me because we have unlimited pto so if you want to make that a four-day weekend can't you just take yeah you just have to get approved by your manager like

unlimited pto isn't like without yeah i know but still i mean like early out at two versus pto if i ran i think it's just more that people weren't like posting for four days so it's like at least with the early out like things will go up on friday i wasn't posting for those four days i don't know i mean we like aftb i think had problems with posting and yeah if i was a boss i would make it limited pto really you're limited to have an awesome time oh fun boss we've got we have a fun here's i was playing fishbowl last night i love fishbowl at oliver's birthday when i was eating all the cupcakes and uh everything that we liked everything that was like clues in the game because it got said so

many times has started appearing on my like tiktok weird and it's like like i like we're talking about drake may four different people put drake may because it was like right after the past game that we played and so drake may just kept being said and then i go and take it's like all drake may someone put uh manfrotto and so i just kept getting manfrotto highlights like i don't even watch soccer he's a italian striker you haven't heard about he's like supposed to be like the next oh he's the kid on barcelona like messy no he's on juventus but he's like oh no better he's you're thinking of lamina mall yeah he's like way better now like they thought lamina mall was going to be like the next thing but now like manfrotto is apparently like weird

you haven't seen this no it's actually sick am i getting manfrotto no pull up manfrotto have you he does the sticks or the yeah look up he did have you the the tripod goal is the one that's like blowing up what i just don't know what this is gonna be can you look up manfrotto tripod yeah funniest thing yeah see manfrotto tripod it's just the tripod we use the try you kind of mailed that you were like you do the tripod goal is so say i was like what could that possibly mean i thought that sounded like maybe something i think i mailed it in too

much the try the try i didn't i think i uh i i'd like i like not mailed it in i didn't deliver it well the tripod goal is like he scored it with his penis maybe all right speaking of penis a guy on the american peppy american that might be on a world cup roster just got hurt for two months doing that like a bicycle kick i think okay or something peppy injury you go peppy injury no peppy with an eye it's just gonna be peppa pig no Oh, he broke his arm? While doing that. Isn't that insane?

Wait, go up to the video. Did he score it? Yeah. I don't want to watch it if they're going to see him break his arm. Oh, okay. We don't want to watch it then, Andrew. Oh. All right, just stop scoring.

It's going to distract us. Oh, look, Real Madrid and the Mets have something in common. What? Ended their contract with Alonso. Nice. nice any big week plans well I had a whole thing

I was going to say if the Chargers won and I was going to be like that game was like a European hotel Patriots couldn't quite figure out the Chargers but I haven't really figured out how to rework it oh that is good

when I went to Amsterdam I just assumed that they would have the same outlets as us yeah showed up uh did not have the adapter and couldn't figure out how to get to my the place i was staying because my phone died i guess now there'd probably be like wireless options maybe harder to track down an adapter once you're already there that you would think 100 yeah yeah it would be easier to do ahead of time don't worry japan is the same i have no idea can you believe that's actually a good point

japan outlets nice oh that's the same thing that we use yeah i think it's a different voltage but it's the same shape what are we doing what are we doing do you guys want to do segments yeah should we road map it up sure all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today uh we are going to hear your pitch followed by our pitches then we're going to do this guy rocks followed by teach oh no we'll do am i the asshole before that and then we'll do teach me something and then willie and i are going to do family guy cutaways that don't exist and bagels that don't exist bangles okay uh what is the worst part about scrolling reels not and you always run out uh the worst part about scrolling reels i don't know i think it's

pretty flawless on my end i would say you get sucked in and you waste all your time and you realize you feel bad because you know that instagram just wanted to make something fun they didn't intend for it to eat this much of your time and you feel bad for it's misusing their product no it's not the existential dread or inability to get off your phone it's seeing one of your mutual followers like something horny yep uh so this is a built-in tool that allows you to anonymously tell that person that their followers can see what they like and who they follow and nudges them to not be horny on main i like that i like that a lot i would benefit from that because i not horny main per se you're not getting horny on main i haven't but i haven't had a problem where

i keep accidentally reposting things on instagram yep and then i get all these notifications it's like a bunch of people i know like liked your repost and i'm like oh i so far it's been like pretty just random harmless stuff and i'm like the moment that's a horny thing then it's like front page of people magazine right did you see that also the bottom thing did you see the al roker quote i put on my story that was cracking me i was dying it kind of sounded like in arrested development but he's like then you got a stew yeah he's like he's like baby you got a stew going the owl for anyone who might have missed it the owl worker quote was this is a people magazine headline here's a little tip for you take a couple of biscoff crackers cut a lime in half

and squeeze it onto the biscoff it's like you're having the crust of a key lime pie which at the same time why is that a quote why do they write an article about that well i think it was like a people's food tips i think they've just they're scraping the bottom of the barrel but the kid got a stew going baby i've never i've never been eating key lime pie and gotten to the crust and been like now the good part starts i rarely am even eating key lime pie it's a good point i like key lime pie though but i don't need it i don't need that taste enough that i need to come up with a solution to solve for having it on the go agreed yes i think maybe you got yourself two biscoff cookies and half a lime you got yourself a stew going al roker started every

i think i just told the story what my brother sat next to al broker right when covid was starting oh yeah and then there was like a headline came out i was like al broker diagnosis it was like the first public figure to get it my brother had been sitting there anyway uh do you guys get horny stuff on your oh yeah main channel no really oh i don't get horny i have a girlfriend like if you were to open your explore page would it be horny right now let's see ready oh man yo explore page no refresh okay i'm clicking it mine is let's see what this hockey stuff drake mays girlfriend indiana

I think I'm cleaning subway takes club penguin mine wait you gotta flip it around you refreshed it no I did not oh what is that thing in the middle foot stuff how she thinks her foot massage will feel foot stuff I think it's I think rusty feather sounds into foot stuff and then mine is the same cheerleading video twice that's horny that counts you're not watching cheerleading for the sport it says bro's got foot stuff and cheerleading stuff yeah and then one harry potter thing you get horny stuff on your feed no but one time this guy gave me his phone and he was like oh put in your instagram man i want to follow you and i opened up his explorer page and it was all just girls bending over in front of the camera and i was like you know people can see this right

it's always a fear of mine even what you're gonna you're gonna like when i'm like oh let me look up your instagram like oh god what's gonna be on my explore page yeah that was it i was just like it was like every single video it wasn't like there was like a touch of like harry potter how many do you have to like that it like knows you specifically like it when they bend over in front of the camera i guess that's the hit rates probably high on like guys guys that like that oh i like going on the profiles of guys that comment on only fans people i'm just seeing what they're up to are you following on the fence people no but they make their way under my onto my uh reels y'all rocking with reels oh yeah you are reels shorts and tiktok in a battle who

who mary fuck you i'm killing what was it snapchat shorts i'm killing shorts i'm marrying tiktok because i think it has more to say and i'm fucking reels because that's where all the that's where all the horny stuff is i'm fucking tiktok i'm marrying reels and i'm killing shorts andrew texted us in our playdate group chat how do you delete a nude from the aura frame and i said yours or someone else's and he said mine soft that's a genuine fear of mine that one day i'm gonna upload a nude to something i don't have any nudes kicking around i have a lot do you really you sent them to me yeah i uh i don't think i've had a nude on my phone since college you gotta get some you gotta like you gotta have

like a like a whole like folder in case you need to like motivate yourself like you schedule it schedule an email type shit yep like if i'm needing to get something done for work i schedule like an email to edge with like 50 pictures of my penis and it's like if i know and i know if i'm not done that i have to let it send i remember in like middle school and high school that was like a real portion of people's days was like dedicated to like trying to get nudes not me i was always into into clothed shit leaves more to the imagination leaves more imagination what did they do oh it was like a nathan for you episode right yeah they took embarrassing take photos of them being like anti-semitic or something yeah they like send it to her jewish

boss if she doesn't lose like 15 pounds yeah and it happened yeah excruciating to watch the worst one was that that naked guy they like made him get in like a hot dog bun so it was just like him naked it was like just like a guy like our dad's age just naked in a hot dog bun and they were gonna like show it to his family if he didn't do it i saw someone like i think it was like on twitter or something some like writer was like trying to finish a thing wrote a thousand dollar check to the nra and gave it to someone and didn't tell him what it was and just said if i haven't finish my book or whatever by this date you have to put this envelope in the mail and so it was like to motivate herself like no questions asked so it's like if i don't finish my book i'm donating

a thousand dollars to the nra what does the nra do just protect they like fight for gun rights yeah but they i mean they're like they lobby so they pay congress people to not pass gun legislation basically how much do the congress people make like a high power to congressman make from just like lobbying well the money goes to their campaign so they don't actually like they can't spend it i mean that's where the gray area is then they can write off dinners and blank as like campaign expenses so they yes they have ways of spending it and they can should we just get into should we just get into a position where people have to pay us to lobby we could be like podcast lobbyers yeah like we'll get we'll do an episode where we

like well didn't chat gbt pay you for last episode yeah you know what's funny completely completely saw that reaction coming yeah just didn't do anything about it yeah well you can't hide who you are i know don't fake who you are for the world i did i've been if you want to do it you gotta own it i've been using google today instead really yeah but it's just like i don't know i don't know i don't know what to do anymore yeah people were not happy that i use chachi every day i feel like everyone uses it though is it i don't know anyone who use as much as you like i use it in like select situations that it is applicable but yeah i don't know i think it's just a problem using it the way you use it like as like a meal calorie i

mean that's what people do with my fitness pal i know but i think people were saying that the environmental impacts of using it as much as i do are not good which i i i see that now yeah i mean i think yeah no i mean that's definitely also true but i also just think it's like i just think like the for the for i don't know it's a weird thing where it's like it seems inevitable but like the further development of it just is scary about like what that it's just like eliminating the need for us to like do critical thinking and that's what scares me yeah signing off the room the last smidgen of critical thinking i had to a robot doesn't because like we're already have so much more available to us than ever else like we have to think less than ever and now it's

like the last part of it which was just like distinguishing between basically the only thing left for us to do was like yeah distinguish between fact and fiction but even that's like if you're just trusting it i don't know i'm not saying you specifically i'm just saying in general it's like the good news yeah scary i don't know how does searching something affect drinking water though because i think they have to use a lot of water to cool it down so they like is that what they're using the water for i believe i and i actually think chachi vt is just gets really thirsty yeah no yeah i think it is like cooling well why don't they still drink that water wait why don't they just recycle the water like do they it doesn't need to be clean water couldn't

it just be the same i'm water cycling over and over and over again i don't know but i'm certain someone thought of this right totally i just always like i get nervous about tech stuff and what people say about it on the news because remember net neutrality how that was like a big deal and then like nothing happened what was that again it was basically saying that we were gonna lose um like the internet being free to everyone and wi-fi was gonna be like way more expensive and we were gonna have like way more limits on our google searches and things like that and they ended up passing it where we lost net neutrality and nothing happened no prices went up nothing weird do you guys not i like remember it happening but i don't really remember i honestly

don't do you remember there was like that when you google like you just googled net neutrality immediately without even asking you does the ai over like do you remember how am i supposed to search things no i oh yeah yeah people were shitting on that guy what was his deal again he was just like a dork he was he was the one that was pushing to get rid of net i thought he was doing the harlem shake he did do the harlem shake i know a jeet pie well that is the other thing with the ai if you google something if it auto does ai yeah like what am i is that the same amount of water as i don't know probably less i don't know um all right should we do am i the asshole yeah hit me or no we have our pitches do you have a pitch i have a pitch i think so

oh yes i do have a pitch all right what is the worst part about award shows like the golden globes or the oscars or things like that there's too many of them i don't i don't know really how to value them against each other there's not one just for people like us we can't we can't relate to these people because we're not actors or we're not whatever i want an award show once a year that celebrates the best regular people so it would be like neighbor of the year neighbor of the year like best hang like who had the best ongoing bit this year who was who was the most punctual maybe like a like you know in high school they do like end of year awards it'd be kind of like that but for like regular people and we'd get to see like the five five best neighbors from across the

country and we'd like when instead of running a clip from the movie it would just be like moments of them like bringing over a casserole yeah yeah or like best like best joke of the best average joe joke of the year yeah and it would just be like it's a guy telling like a not that funny joke and it's just absolutely crushing yeah all these again it's like dads from across the country i think that'd be very fun did you hear trump's doing the hunger games what guy and girl from every state gonna compete in what like athletics yeah athletics oh the patriot games i did hear about that yeah i'm gonna eat blueberries is it high schoolers um that's a good question yeah i think it is high schoolers yeah it's just gonna be on television uh i don't know what is it

like olympic sports or like what is it it's a question it's like a giant field day i think it's like a there's a cornucopia and then it's just like a fight to the death zero death like if they just did the hunger games but it was like with non-tag non-lethal weapons that would be sick i'd watch that yeah i think they should um i'm surprised like mr beast hasn't done that yeah has he not done hunger games yet i saw a tiktok of a family like pranking their son that he got like drafted i saw that to the patriot game no into the hunger games i thought it's like hunger games yeah um and he like thought he was gonna die he's like freaking the fuck out like running around the house probably like eight yeah or something like that yeah that probably that

probably won't mess him up for like the rest of his life yeah probably not all right here i got a pitch digital photo frame like an aura frame but it's got a camera in it and it takes pictures of you throughout the day you and your like loved one get one and it takes pictures of you and puts it on theirs oh that's so you're just getting a random carousel of photos of them and they're getting a random carousel of photos of you but you don't know when they're taking i like that so you can't like stage them people in people in relationships where they're worried about the other one cheating i think that would be very popular it'd be good for spying for sure yeah um that would i would like that a lot i i think i would be naked in like every single photo you

walk around the house naked yeah all the time because i'm alone oh yeah wait isn't it like cold is it cold yeah like my apartment no your parts like no i mean i can set charlie brown to whatever i want oh you heat your apartment oh you can set your thermostat in whatever you want whatever my landlord glued mine to glued mine to 45 freezing 45 joking dude oh i'm like fucking with you i thought that was like celsius maybe but then i think that'd be like scalding really i keep mine at 80 what yeah which like seems really hot but i'm also naked so yeah it works but doesn't know your charlie browns get sweaty what about charlie browns which part of my body to charlie brown's man nuts and shafts nuts and bolts dude wait i don't understand why wouldn't

you just keep it like i haven't touched i haven't even had my heating or ac on like since the winter started yeah i haven't turned my heat on and then i just wear clothes because you don't need it to be warmer if you're wearing clothes it gets too cold if i don't have it on i don't i've used we don't use our heat at all but lauren always says my house is freezing so i don't know i've used heat once in the three years that i've lived and it was like that weekend that it was like 45 for an entire weekend you know this week's gonna be 70 it's actually gonna be almost 80 on saturday wait hmm i can't you keep it at 80 80 do people like complain when they come over

No. They're also naked when they come over. Gotcha. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Do you cook naked? Yeah.

Which is a good way of like... Why don't you spill hot oil on your Charlie Browns? Are these the same Charlie Browns as the last Charlie Browns? You tell me. I've only had one my whole life. It does help because I don't get like grease or like the smell of the food on my clothes. But you get it on your body? I don't think so.

i mean i take a shower after it's like in my skin is your shower after you cook i don't this seems i can't i like don't believe you're cooking naked yeah how long have you been doing this uh since i've been living alone which is like the last like five years do your windows not face what about when like the oil on the pan starts like popping off does it ever get on your charlie yeah it does do you watch tv like on the couch naked in bed yeah well it's a studio apartment so it's like your bed my my apartment is basically all bad how much is your rent a lot it's 2500 yeah you're the highest rent here probably yeah in the whole company probably in the whole company yeah wait why don't you move into

there are places that are cheaper than that that are not studios i doubt it to live alone flan has a one bedroom in santa monica that is slightly cheaper than that she have roommates yeah one bedroom really yeah i should look again um i really like satel which is the area i'm in but when i was looking it was like prorated to 2100 so i got two months free so it's really like i'm paying 2100 because i live there for two months free so i saved like five thousand dollars but now i pay 2500 damn a month but at least they keep it hot they do keep it hot yeah wait your gas bill your gas bill makes it like 3500 a month probably yeah well i turn it off when i leave all right is that something you got a pitch or we did all am i the asshole am i the asshole all

right am i the asshole for getting hot oil on my charlie browns am i the asshole valentine's day edition nice hey there my name is ava and am i the asshole for not wanting to spend valentine's day with my boyfriend in my hometown for context him and i met in high school and are now in our second year of long pretty much medium distance he goes to college in orlando while i go to uf in gainesville anyways i recently found out that his sister's 18th birthday is his president's day and his mother has requested that the two of us spend the V-Day and also President's Day weekend at home so he can celebrate her birthday with her.

I'm adamantly protesting this to my boyfriend for many reasons. Number one, I don't want to drive two hours home for a weekend that's not even extended. I don't have President's Day off. Number two, I don't want to deal with the inevitable familial obligations if I come home since we're from the same town and i would therefore be coming home from college number three there is nothing hot about spending the day of romance in your boyfriend's childhood bed nothing we can't get tipsy and we definitely

can't get up to anything higher than pg-13 am i the asshole if i ask him to tell his mom that i'm not coming i really just don't want to spend the day and weekend dedicated to our love surrounded by both of our families in my hometown you are deaf welcome to call my number here it is all right break this down i got a few things number one you're making valentine's day too big you're giving it too much credit this isn't like the weekend for your love like well if you're me if you're long distance medium distance that's the weekend you get down you have that marked on your calendar all you're like we are gonna get each other's rocks off yep well i've gotten off to a pg-13 movie right but i my thinking is two hours doesn't feel that long of a drive

i don't think he's gonna sleep in his childhood bedroom with his family i think we're coming at this from different angles oh i'm like dude it's it's like his family thing it's for his birth sister's birthday go do the family thing and then just pick another weekend and make it like your valentine's weekend oh i was gonna say like why does the mom care if you're there for your sister's birthday i don't think she cares if he's there yeah yeah i don't think i've ever it's her 18th i think right it's her i don't care if it's her 21st birthday i don't think you i mean she can yeah you're taking your you're giving your sister priority over your girlfriend it's kind of weird on valentine's if it was my yeah i guess maybe i just think valentine's is stupid so what if we

did what like it's like a fun way to thing to celebrate but it's like the day of out like you could be like hey let's can we do valentine's the weekend before and then you can go be with your sister or whatever but that's yeah i would agree with you if they lived near each other already the fact they're on opposite sides of florida also what school in orlando roll tars perhaps yeah probably would have mentioned that right i guess i would say we could maybe take a little bit from you and a little bit from me i think that you both go home you freak it in your childhood bed no no you go home you keep it pg-13 this weekend you make the mom happy you go to the birthday thing and then you do what will said where you pick another weekend maybe you give it

a fun name wait time out that's not a little bit of both of us that's just my idea you wanted to do that in the first one yeah okay so why don't we do will's thing you go i couldn't let you have that one you go home and then you pick another weekend and you give it like a fun name like valentine's day doesn't matter anymore you galentine's you do like yeah you do some sort of play on words i wish we knew his name or something if his name like his name's val oh nice okay so go home keep it over keep it over the pants at his house yes pg-13 and then pick another weekend that's now your new valentine's day weekend you rename it you make a new holiday and you go absolutely berserko mode on each other's bodies how does that sound willie i

think that sounds good and i think we should call her and tell her her apartment's flooded yeah say it's the gate say it's the gainesville the gainesville housing department yeah perfect hello this is ava i am currently on the phone right now but if you would just leave a message i'll get back to you as soon as i can oh all right didn't even go to voicemail why did that happen it's just like cut out before voicemail she probably has a full she probably full voicemail but wouldn't it say that damn it all right so now it's gonna be so funny just be like give her the advice and just like and now we're gonna call and tell her house flooded okay damn it now we know her name's ava so why don't we come up with a word well that might be a violation i don't know

if we should oh okay she didn't put her name oh it does say my name is ava okay ava damn it can you look up ava rhymes no we can do we wait what are you trying to say just Have a Have a lovely Valentine's Day Have a Valentine's Day Go to Rhymes Top left Alright let's do

We got other segments But that's our advice Ava Should we do this guy rocks Yeah Oh I sent it to you already This guy's rocks Have you seen this guy he recreates all the different Pokemon I accidentally just clicked on a Reddit notification

that said kent do you have any money okay wait someone post that on reddit oh no it's gonna be shitting on my bit oh yeah you showed me this guy this is he turns himself into different can you pause it at the end this time when it's in its final form i don't like the i don't like the texture that they used for the tail i love it that is just It's like, that is my corn. Your corn? Yeah. What does that mean?

It's like how I keep my house hot. Oh, my God. All right. Should we check out... I love that guy. Shout out Chris Sunk. Should we check out... Wait, wait.

Can you click his page? He had another one today that was fucking cracking me up. No. Wait. Go down a little bit. I forget which one it was. Damn. These all have, like, millions of views.

yeah there's one that was killing me i don't know maybe go back up oh wait that one is 38 million should we look at that one do the pikachu one i like that a lot all right stop him wait i think i have those boxers those are like the satin rihanna they're like a box like wait they look like i was about to say boxer boxers they're like uh they're like the rihanna fenty you have you have rihanna satin boxers yeah they're really comfy you cooking them no he cooks like charlie brown's out wait are they like great for like ball friction they're just soft they just feel really nice this is a guy ordering at a bodega in New York and he's got can I get a

chopped cheese with a side of flesh and bones $13 for a chop cheese what a drag fuck corporations can I get a chopped cheese with a side of flesh and bones I like that guy he's He's like an emo guy. All right, should we do Teach Me Something? Yeah, I got a good one.

I do, too. I'm very excited. Do I have a good one? I'm trying to remember. Oh, my God, dude. I was trying to look how fast bullet trains go in Spain, in Japan, because we're taking the bullet train. Right now, it goes 200 miles an hour.

They're working on one that's going to come out in the next 10 years. It's going to go 375 miles an hour. Jesus. That's awesome. What's the fastest land object? Ever. I bet it's around that. I think it's an ostrich.

You said it's a what? Wait, what does that mean, land object? A car hit seven... Okay, that's not a car. That's a rocket. That is a rocket. Oh. Hit 763 miles per hour.

It broke the sound barrier. Do you see, apparently, we used some new weapon when we went into Venezuela that made them, like, throw up and, like, bleed out of their nose. I didn't see good sourcing on that. I saw what you saw, but I don't know if that was true. TikTok. Yeah.

Yeah, same. Yeah. But I didn't want to waste any water, so I didn't Google it or anything. That's good. Actually, this might be helpful for my, like, misinformation. A hellscape of your own creation, yeah. You can't do anything to please them. I know.

I know a way to please the playmates. all right you just all right did you know that in the 17th century a group of bavarian monks came up with a way to get around lent or a way to get through lent a little bit easier pretzel kind of close they so they're they're not allowed to eat solid food during lent and like water fasts were like borderline unbearable with the amount of like labor they had it was so cold and they had to like work there so they were like we fucking can't do this so they brewed a beer that is like unbelievably strong and they called it or like now they say it's basically it was like essentially

liquid bread so it was just like so nutrient dense so strong and they would just drink this beer for the entirety of lent there you go can you can you pull up what the abv was on that inder bavarian monk beer abv on bavarian monk beer bavarian monk beer does sound like something like a like an oh that's not strong at all it's like a tubular seven or eight seven or eight actually that makes sense if they're drinking at all yeah damn okay not not that not that not that strong but yeah look liquid bread respect do you think they were all doing they were like getting freaky like they had never been drunk before so they're like no monks aren't getting free tea

okay willie do you want to do three chi monks are not getting three chi i want to do three chi do you want to do family guy cutaways that don't exist or bagels that don't exist let's do family guy cutaways you want to tee it up these are even more family guy cutaways that don't exist uh i feel uh peter says i feel even more frustrated than the guy who built the pyramids and it cuts to him up in heaven watching people be like yeah no one knows how they were built i built them i built them the last time i had to make a decision this tough i was at the simon or garfunkel concert and they come out on two different stages and they go you have to choose uh uh people for the people at home i i stole i stole the that drug from will will likes to

switch and to or i'm out of breath like an auctioneer who started the bid too high and it's a guy like three hundred dollars three hundred dollars do i have three hundred dollars three hundred dollars three hundred dollars three hundred dollars do i see three do i get a 300 300 300 300 who's got a 300 300 300 300 300 300 300 300 and he's just like running out of breath i like that um peter goes i'm less popular than jesus's brother jongus who turned wine into water and then it cuts to a like a medieval bar and everyone's drinking their wine and having a blast and jongus walks in and everyone's wine turns to water and they're like get the fuck out of here you ruin everything that's why you never let people know

what your real intentions are and then it cuts to him in a bank and with a ski mask and a gun and he walks in he goes i'd like to open a savings account he goes this is cooler than having something on the menu named after you and it's julius caesar and all his boys at a diner and the waiter comes up and he goes we'll do for me salads that'd be yeah i was i was trying to think of like it's like a misdirector he's like we'll do three of the roman emperor steaks um and then i had another one that i got i got told was not as funny as i thought it was so i'm but i'll i'll do it anyways and you guys you guys tell me

uh peter goes this is more confusing than when i worked on a politically correct pirate ship and he like knocks on the quarters and he's like blackbeard and blackbeard's just staring at him he goes african-american beard and he goes thank you i think it's good i thought it was clever i'm proud of you all right should we do bagels that don't exist yeah these are bagels that don't exist the schmear campaign oh did you do like wordplay what were you gonna do pistachio that could be good the high chive glazed i actually think this would probably be better the everything must go and it's an everything bagel with like all the toppings that are about

to go bad i like that okay how about this apple cinnamon bagel like it like a cinnamon raisin is good but like why is raisin the part like right yeah yeah yeah no one wants that like an apple jacks in a bagel like two big apple jacks like one big apple jack i guess sliced in half yeah uh the locks and key yeah we really took this different directions honey banana that's all i had pb and j that one did exist no but the bagel itself oh i wasn't picturing like bagel sandwiches i was picturing like actual bagels gotcha but that might have been my mistake i just thought if i went like if i said like just things i wanted that wouldn't be very funny for me yeah that may be the suck i suck i suck all right we love you guys have a great rest of

your monday have a great uh tuesday and we will see you bright and early for our wednesday episode peace don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life you know the same way you can skip an ad i get it i'm siaya and i live in ice cove i've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way i planned and today i'm still figuring it out somehow things usually get worse before they get better apparently that's how i roll so bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride stream a new episode of north of north tuesdays on cbc gem where some see heroes and others see egos bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes

a fad to some the future of money to others we see crypto's trillion dollar swings the end of jobs or the end of human struggle we see the endless funds fueling the AI hype while others follow the noise we follow the money