Will & Rusty's Playdate - I got the yips as a waiter

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

SUPPORT WILLY’S CHARITY: https://www.givengain.com/project/sam-raising-funds-for-adaptive-sports-new-england-inc-119070   SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/@playdatepod?sub_confirmation=1  MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/  PAID PARTNERSHIPS: [e-mail]  GUESTS AND INQUIRIES ONLY: [e-mail] Playdate: https://www.instagram.com/playdate.pod https://www.tiktok.com/@playdatepod Willy: https://www.instagram.com/willdonnellon https://www.tiktok.com/@willydonnellon Rusty: https://www.instagram.com/featherstonerusty https://www.tiktok.com/@rustyfeatherstone Andrew: https://www.instagram.com/andrew_nelson_ SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link SUBMIT YOUR CONFESSIONS HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSedx06Mo5EBt7WJAehTXwRoF3JzP0T7-kiDvYOphgxaPvtzKQ/viewform?usp=publish-editor  SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Find the one, with Betterhelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/pd New customers get 40% Off with code PLAYDATE at GLD.com 00:00 - intro 5:22 - willy’s exciting news 14:12 - speaking of grandparents 20:34 - she’s the exact size of a 13 year old boy 27:59 - selling Pokemon cards 43:14 - brunch talk 50:02 - I got the yips as a waiter 1:05:04 - when was the last time you drank in moderation 1:11:11 - roadmap  1:11:49 - this guy rocks 1:15:29 - birthday party themes that don’t exist 1:19:40 - curb your enthusiasm plots that don’t exist #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at cadillaccanada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle Total Registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac Definition of Luxury. All right, ladies.

Smoke them if you got them. Pull it out if it reeks. All right. Flash it if it's stinky. This club sucks. Get me a new club. This club. Playdate.

Playdate. Are we going? Mm-hmm. Episode 199. Wayne Glensky. Whoa. Oh, fun. Okay, Glenskirt.

Speaking of 99. Yep. The best hitter in all of baseball is on the IL this week. Or for the next few weeks. IL? Injury list. Interesting. Why is it a list in baseball but a reserve in football?

Well, these are the kinds of things I was thinking about all weekend while I was away from you. And I go, I cannot wait to get Will's pick on this. Yeah, I think it's, the reserve is like, it's like an Amex reserve. It's like a little fancy. It's flashy. It costs more money. It costs more money, yeah. Yeah, okay.

But there's a special lounge. Yes. He's in the Delta Lounge. Juan Soto's in the Delta Lounge for the next two to three weeks. While you're hurt, you have to hang out in the Delta Lounge? Yeah. Why is this a rule? It's a new rule, I guess, but obviously, whatever.

We're still working the kinks out. Speaking of kinks, Andrew, how are you? I'm good. I had a wonderful weekend Nice Tell us about it What'd you do? So I saw two movies

In the theaters? That's borderline Two men Mad men Yep Yep Not to flex or anything They were luxury seats

As well About time Are there Is there like A first class For the airport? It's just like It's a luxury

Like movie theater Or whatever Where they like Bring you fajitas and stuff Yeah Yeah yeah Fajitas and a movie theater Would be insane

Could you imagine You're watching The next guy next to you Shh I knew it I knew this was going to be a bad idea. Wait, so you upgraded yourself? I upgraded myself.

I was first class in the movie theater. For what movies? So I saw the drama. Okay, yeah. Which is the... I'm not... Don't spoil anything. It is the Zendaya...

Well, there's drama. I know the main thing, but I don't know anything else. Is it a drama? There's some drama involved. But what is the drama? No, it's like a cute little rom-com. Just go watch it. Okay.

oh let me guess let me guess it's like heart-wrenching got wrenching oh let me guess it's crotch-wrenching i saw this absolutely crotch-wrenching indie film this weekend calling calling a porn with a good plot line oh it's just truly crotch-wrenching so you saw the drama this uh it's the zendaya robert pattinson movie um if you've heard about it but i i'm not gonna spoil anything you have to go in completely blind and then let me know what you think but to me movie of the year but how do you how do i get excited about going if i don't know anything about it because i just said it's robert pattinson's and yeah and it's the movie of the year it's like twilight meets twilight shake it up yeah okay exactly yeah and then i saw project

hill mary which what were your thoughts i loved it yeah yeah what do you think i loved it i was gonna say i feel like that's like up your alley too like what does that mean you look like little guys like the minions that's true he's like a little guy what's his name gronky there's a little yeah yeah that and he's like a minion yeah gronky is like a minion explain it explain it to me in like despicable me terms it'd be like there's kind of the groove the groove is ryan gosling okay and there's only one minion okay and what i've gathered from the i saw a trailer yeah and like he's not an astronaut but for some reason he's the one that has to go yeah up there okay i like to add a little like a um an unexpected hero plot is what i yeah uh

Lily from AT&T is in it. Really? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Don't even. I can see Busty on the tip of his eye. How did you know?

I can smell the word Busty all the way from his vocal cords. I actually love that she hated how people were perceiving her on the AT&T commercials, so she became this astronaut, cool female. Wait, what happened? people were perceiving her people were like sexualizing her from the commercials and so she got this like really sweet gig

in this um in this movie where she's like this like really empowered woman she still works like a scientist and is like a badass in the movie no she's her phone is on AT&T they don't show it a huge plot point is like they keep doing

like punch-ins on her phone and it's like Verizon like they really need to hammer it home that this is a new era for her yeah it's like her new um era it's kind of like her new era kind of like her heiress tour yeah so the girl from adn t is doing an heiress tour now which i'm like that that is that's something that like flan would tell me like right as i'm about to fall asleep and i have to be like what i got some exciting news okay i gotta pick time for the olympics dude i didn't get one and i picked i bought 12 tickets yesterday for okay for the olympics oh for which events yeah the i i decided to do three tickets across four events cool so i

got it was pretty slim pickings by the time i got in there most of the good stuff was gone but i got a track session so i will be seeing the men's steeplechase 3000 meter final and tell me what steeple is steeplechase is like they go over hurdles and then they go over puddles oh i like that yeah yeah make it yeah just make it an inconvenience for like the the team manager that's like there's a million wet cleats that he has to figure out how to get dry by tomorrow i guess unless they did it right or do they go through the water i think there's a yeah i think they just they just own it interesting anyway so i'll be seeing the final of that but then also like a heat of the 800 and like a few of the other cool um and then i got

set baseball semifinals whoa which is cool except that they haven't the mlb hasn't made it clear whether they're gonna let or they there's like there's about to be a new like cba next like bargaining agreement yeah so they don't know yet if there's gonna be mlb players i don't think mlb players have ever been in olympic baseball yet but rob manfred said that they want to get them in for this 2028 so i've never understood why it's the like when they when the nba finally started letting guys like play in the olympics for basketball and we got the dream team like why was it ever the nba's decision couldn't those guys just be like we're not because they're all under contract oh and like your contracts are like you can't go play pro basketball anywhere

else if you're under contract with the team got it so they have to be like allowed to it's like an injury risk thing like if i was the mlb commissioner yeah which i'm not right could be one i would want yeah not gonna write it off yet yeah that would be crazy they they wrote me off i ain't right back they wrote they wrote me off i didn't lick the stamp uh i would want them there isn't that like the you would yeah i think he does want them okay but it's new they i they did it too in tokyo in 2020 but like and the mlb players did play no but it was like it was all guys that were like baseball is new yes to the got it yeah so there just isn't like a precedent for it but like even like soccer like they don't have it's like u23 for the men's i don't know

yeah it's just i think it's just hard they get like they get one old head didn't we yeah they get a couple episodes they get three unks three unks yeah i think it's uh yeah i don't know it's just like a huge legal like liability for these leagues because like yeah like the world baseball classic two years ago edwin diaz like tours achilles and then yeah he missed a whole season for the mets and that's like you can't yeah i don't know but anyway so the if baseball gets mlb players that'll be fucking awesome dodger stadium semi-final and then i got uh beach volleyball that's uh like early session men's or women's both nice four matches some mix they don't know yet um but it's i think a saturday night in long beach so it'll be fun that's awesome

and then last but not least i said all right i want something where it's where it's a motherfucker out there who's been working his whole life trying to win a gold medal right and i want to see someone win a gold medal can i guess yeah water skiing that is not an olympic sport i'm almost positive uh beach luge beach luge it's so slow it just like it never even it never even leaves the uh it's like skimboarding yeah uh archery men's final nice so okay i'll see the gold medal match in archery and i will see i guess i'll see someone want to go metal in the steeplechase but other than that right nothing but i'm excited and i one thing that you don't you get all like ooh tickets fun twenty five hundred dollars yeah yep and you're on the hook what if you were just

like no like you have that i wouldn't buy them i thought maybe if they selected you like you entered into some agreement that you will purchase the ticket no i mean you could but no because you could buy 500 you could buy however many tickets you want or whatever like they're all priced differently god but the aggregate of all 12 tickets is 2500 bucks that being said like i'm going to split them with people split them with people but i can't really do that now so i kind of just have to eat this for two years oh my god yeah it's not until yeah it's not like i can be like venmo me for if you want to take it now because it's like i don't even know someone gets a i'm gonna know you like i'm not gonna know you guys in two years it is funny like

you're not wanting to request scott for tickets because you don't know if i'm gonna know if you're gonna know him but but entering into a binding car lease agreement with him well i don't even you don't have to know someone to drive their car right i've always said that i've the government doesn't big auto does not want you to know big auto technically don't need to know someone to drive their car a guy called big auto sounds i bet he gives a night i may give the best hugs big auto speaking you know he give the best hugs come on big backs i got a i got a dm uh yesterday i posted a picture of flan and i on easter she looks gorgeous as always yeah and my big back ass had been eaten all all week and it wasn't the most flattering photo multiple dms

that just say sec couple that's fucked up no i here's my thing i sent it to flan and she tried to be like no that's not true like like that's not and i was like no i want that to be you want people to be like yeah no you don't want a dm that's like your girlfriend is perfectly in in your league i agree i don't want someone to be like you and your girlfriend are the same level of a track i want always always it's hard for me to relate because it's like obviously they're never going to be on my level but right lauren is really close so she's getting there she yeah well you've been you've been uh ascending her right i've been frame mogging frame mogging her the bartender yesterday told me that i i looked good he said you were mod your bar mogging no i

was um all right get out of here you've been bar maxing i was that's how kid that's how kids kids you're gonna get kicked out of bars and yeah dude you're you're you've you've drank max you gotta go you're annoying maxing get the fuck out of here you're a boy it's a boy bar bartender it's a bar bartender bartender reveal i'm in love with the bartender T-Pain if he was country T-Pain if he had boys Okay Anyway

I don't think that you guys are an SEC couple Thank you You went to the Rollins of the South I went to the Brown of Orlando The Rollins of the South What's the Rollins of the North? Trinity College Probably

Probably I wilden ellen solemnly swear say it but i'm up to no good y'all watch that show neighbors no on hbo it's fucking insane it's like a documentary right yeah it's like a documentary about like the craziest neighbors wait what do you mean like they found like neighbor disputes and like it'll be like these guys in new jersey that hate each other and they just like both consent to be on the show yes yeah it's i like that it's very what are they beefing about well there's the guys in new jersey that i was just thinking about are like

one guy moved into the neighborhood and the other guy like pride there's like a halloween decoration competition got it and they're like both like super into it basically and it gets like very personal and it's insane these people they're just absolutely crazy people out there But don't you like that they stand for something? Yeah, I'm like, God, this is... I don't have anything that I care enough about for them to... If they did a documentary on my life, they couldn't find one thing that I would be mad at my neighbor about.

Speaking of grandparents, I went out to breakfast with my grandparents. Do the laugh track? Andrew, play that laugh track. and uh the owner of the restaurant came up to my grandfather because he comes on saturdays every day every saturday with his best friend dick and uh he comes with his best friend dick every saturday he comes with the amount of the amount of talk you do about my grandfather and ejaculating makes me sick to my soul when you say every saturday my grandpa comes with his friend dick he's not special the owner came up and was like you didn't invite dick and my and he was

like i know i couldn't and my grandma was like no we're this is like family time we don't we don't need dick here and then he gave us muffins to bring back to dick i was like how are they like the king what's the place perkins it's just like an it's like an ihop type place where winter park florida oh i forgot you were in florida yeah i was in florida how was it it was goat dude i spent the entire time in the pool my feet almost the skin on my feet almost fell off love it um did not hit my two minute breath holding mark unfortunately i'm supposed to be able to do it by this time have you been practicing nope got it no i used to when i was a kid i'd lay on the couch and i'd start a timer while i was watching ridiculousness and i'd hold my breath it's much

easier on a couch because you're not moving but when you're floating around the pool i'm just worried about hitting my head also doing it while you're watching ridiculousness is good because it's like you kind of want to pass out no i did i did a ridiculousness that because it's you know how tiger woods dad used to like scream at him on the range or he'd like shout in his back swing like if you can do it while ridiculousness is playing you doing it in a calm environment is much much easier yeah you know i'm thinking about like chanel west coast crazy ass like laughing no i know ski low brim going nuts you know ski low brim no i low brim oh who is it oh oh steel low brim what kind of hat will see low brim naked don't put naked speaking of naked

celebrities the reason i was laughing i think he's from this like i don't i think he's from ridiculous like an industry plant for ridiculousness oh he's from orange drive what's that i think yeah i think rob oh he's from wild grinders oh oh he's on fantasy factory okay that makes sense i don't remember him in that there were a lot of guys in fantasy factory big cat wasn't that one of them oh he's from teenage mountain lion big cat drama drama yeah You know drama's a reckless... Oh, you know drama's a reckless ass going to do something crazy. I loved Fantasy Factory when I was a kid.

That was like... Wait, when did... Was that... So right when you got TV back. No, we had... My brother bought a bunch of episodes like on YouTube or something. Did you have to sneak them? No, we could go on...

We had a computer that we... Like a family desktop that we would go and use. What, did you not have that? No, I did. i was just i'm just trying to i'm i like learning about the intricacies of your family because it felt like media was you guys were kind of uh in a police state when it came to media we were in a we didn't have cable or video games but we had the internet why was that um my mom didn't think she didn't want us to like be sitting inside all the time we had a big yard honestly i feel pretty

grateful for it in retrospect i spent like my whole childhood i spent outside running around like i never played video games at my house because i couldn't and but now you watch but now you're like buns at skate three now i'm buns at all the video games but that's almost like it's like a because i'm buns now i still don't play video games so it's kind of like i never really was that into video games because i was always yeah she i think that's the movie clip were you playing computer games yeah yeah mini clip addicting games stuff like that yep um we had backyard skateboarding on the computer that i was like obsessed with madden 08 on the computer so but we'd get you know me owen wallace would come over and we'd go play a few games but it wasn't

ever like i spent i was we had an alley out back of our house in charleston no in lancaster and wait you were you city kid i thought you grew up where's the alley yeah i grew up in the city in leicester and you also had a big yard it was pretty unbelievable yeah that's like the best of both look up look up 314 northwest end avenue so this is the overview of my house whoa so like we were in the city but we our house just randomly like i guess like the lot next to it never got developed and just became the yard so we just had this huge side yard so like all the neighborhood kids would come over we'd all play like football and baseball and basketball and we had a paved basketball court in the corner of it it was sick the games of rundown that i bet got played in that

yard what's rundown two posts 20 yards apart one man at each post unlimited kids however many you can get are trying to get from one post to the other without getting pegged with the tennis ball so they just play catch the two guys oh and then like in the air you try and time it or like if a kid like sucked at catching yeah the second the person would throw it to that guy you'd go i think i remember that do you remember when remember when you guys didn't believe that i could fit in the bread box and then we pulled it up and the exact bread box was on zillow that was that was a wait i wait what you know i said i could fit in the bread box yeah but i don't think you were vindicated that you said you could do it when you were 12 or 13 and what did my

sister say we called her i said how old do you think i was when i could no longer fit in the bread box she said 13 there's no way you were in that bread box when you're i mean we're not we're not gonna get back i'm not doing this again i got i get sent this real every time this goes viral there's a there's like a a woman on mom talk who uh is like whenever i get overstimulated i go in the bread box and it's the exact dimensions of mine and people will send it to me and be like knew it bread box she's the exact size of a 13 year old boy and she fits in there like a damn glove do you think you could go back in it now and like everyone would be like welcome home if you went back in and now it's just a family making breakfast and i just walk in welcome home

kid welcome home get in there get in there kept it warm for you horror movie about a guy who wakes up in the bread box and he fell asleep in his 13 he wakes up and he's 25 13 going on 30 for dumb guys what is 13 going on 30 she goes in the closet and makes a wish that she was 30 flirty and thriving i go in the bread box and wish you were 25 and had a pants that went past your shoes i wish i was 20 oh yeah i wake up in the bread box like this was a terrible waste of a wish oh god i ordered a straight to the tailor what is this movie about i i ordered a pair of pants the other day that i don't know if i don't know if they're meant

for you to get tailored because if they're not they're for a guy you have you ever bought like suit pants that aren't tailored yet and like they're like four feet longer than you would ever yeah yeah i ordered a pair of pants the other day and they were comically long i'll go i'll take them where j press oh and uh you asked it's uh wait why it's j crew for guys did you get the right length i got them through i got them they only asked for waist length so either either so you're supposed to get them tailored then are they like dress pants or my waist is getting so wide that they're for a guy who's seven feet tall no but everyone has different sizes that's what i've been saying i think it's like when you order pants that are 34 they just automatically

come 34 34 no they don't you pick the length sometimes sometimes you pick the length but when i was when i was a kid you just one size what's your waist one size fits all pants what's what size is your waist that is also the it's like how your wingspan is exactly how tall you are your waist is how long your legs are my wingspan is a hundred oh my god i'm like so goaded at wingspan now are you really dude i'm not even kidding who you've been playing with i've been playing like the ai on the app but every day i go on the treadmill and i like can't stand to just like watch tv so i started playing wingspan and i'm like legitimately like really good now i'll kick your ass yeah you think so yeah i think there are gonna be comments like andrew is depleting

our water reserve so he can play fucking wingspan with the ai i don't think it works like that this is just like it's not like generative ai yeah because we've always had like computers that you play against in video games but that was never like ai are there thing is so is it ai or is it just normal computer it's just like code you know yeah i think it's like if this happens then this happens and then this happens got it it's like playing chess against the computer chest in a way it's like playing chest against the computer but it's like putting your chest against the computer yes and i've always said so what's your favorite mom walks in why do you do something it's my favorite bird um probably the mallard is that one of them yeah but it's zero feathers yeah but

doesn't it give you like grain when the uh when it's activated what does it give you doesn't give you like grain every uh maybe i i wouldn't i don't know the activation but you're too busy you play with crows and ravens no you turn them off uh i think they're automatically off on my settings because i've never gotten a crow or raven crows and ravens are op really they that's why they have the option to turn them off oh they're that good how much how many feathers are they worth they're it's not about the feathers it's about the activation they give you you can play them in the grasslands and then you can trade in when you activate you can trade in an egg for either two or one of any kind of food from the supply so if you have them in the grasslands

habitat then every time you lay eggs you can just get rid of one of the eggs and then get any food you want so you never have to go for the gain food action because you can just get all your food from laying eggs oh so it's totally op yeah yeah my grandmother told me a story about a raven this weekend really we were at breakfast and my sister's new boyfriend not new but my sister's boyfriend who my grandparents haven't met yet was there so he's he's not new to being her boyfriend he's just new he's a new guy he just dropped he just dropped right um and so she's like running the gauntlet of like she's playing the hits on her stories she's got some great stories yeah and she told one i had never heard before where she said they went to an animal sanctuary with

my dad and before they went one of her like bridge friends was like uh you have to or like go see the raven when you get there she was like what she's like like she sounded like it was like uh like a riddle like when you get there go say hi to the raven my grandma's like okay and they she said they got there and they're looking at all the animals and there's no one around they're like in the early morning so it's just them and the animals and she said someone goes take me to the queen and she was like what is happening it was like all like like go to this place and then they'll tell whatever and he goes take me to the queen wait who's saying this they don't know it's just a voice she's looking around she doesn't see anyone the raven can talk and it

said take me to the queen oh that's fun isn't i didn't know ravens could talk i think they can a little like a parrot afterwards did it say nevermore no what does that say that's the poem the edgar allen poe edgar allen poe the edgar allen poem i think it's a short story i thought it was a poem oh maybe basically it's about a raven talking and it says like nevermore does it say take me to the queen it does not it says take me to church saying the yeah her friend's like go see the raven it's miraculous then when she gets there it starts saying hosier yeah take me to church i'll worship like a frog in the tiniest pond i have uh an uncle and aunt that are like professional bird watchers okay and they're explaining to me on vacation and they

were like yeah we go on all these exotic vacations so that we can see these exotic birds and then we track them on this website and that's how you know what your ranking is in the world and i was like do you have to prove it it's competitive it's competitive there's this documentary about it called listers or something my friend luke bunnell just texted me that this morning and he said this is right up your alley yeah i've heard it's great i need to watch it huh it's like um and i was like well do you have to like attach pictures to prove that you saw it and they said no it's completely honor system and so like an hour later i went to them i was like guess who's the new number one in world i've seen birds that haven't even been created yet exactly you're like going in the

back end and adding birds where's the option for the moltres did i did i tell you guys my uh oh wait what you didn't get five thousand dollars no dude i remember he's gonna sell his pokemon cards this weekend oh yeah dude unbelievable that was a that was brutal unbelievable experience i walked in i felt like i was in the scene of a movie when like the bubble was about to pop you know like in the big short you remember when they're like all like making all this money or whatever they're all celebrating it's exactly i felt like i was like no place should be this full on a sunday night what was it again it was a it was a trading card place where you can like buy and sell cards yeah but it was packed to the brim at like 10 p.m on a sunday and i was like oh this

is like insane and i also like had to really hype myself up before i went there so like i dressed an all black because i didn't want it to look like i had money or i didn't have money you know you guys i have a quack i have a one black means neutral money i get it one clarifying question rich guys rich guys and poor guys never wear all black well if i looked like i came from money i didn't want them to be like he has too much money we're gonna undersell him but i didn't want to seem like poor where it was like his cards are fake or something i mean this in the nicest way possible i don't think the three of us any of the three of us could go anywhere and someone would have the thought those guys have too much money uh agree to disagree i get that literally every

day walking out of my apartment but my coffee's 30 because i keep wearing bright colors up charge chrome hearts away right um but good thinking i like it all black so they don't your normal outfits yeah i know like they don't scream what you would wear normally this guy has generational pokemon i just didn't want anything to stand out right so i was like in all black which was probably more suspicious right and then i took pre-workout too to kind of like hype myself up they go there's some pre-workout to go sell pokemon because okay you know what i'm saying like i'm the kind of person that like i go to get my oil changed and i'm like walking out of there a thousand dollars less because they told me to change my air filters or whatever and they

overcharge me the salesman you're aware of your my trip tonight yeah yeah yeah yeah the salesman goes in the back and he's like there is some guy in a murdered out outfit who's grinding his jaw and like breathing heavily we we should give him a fair price we should change his air filters you come out of you come out of the pokemon card totals they gave me 150 bucks for all the cards and then totaled my car all right so exactly so um so i pulled up and i was like yeah these are my cards or whatever and do the smallest smallest thing on the cards he'd be like nope that's what i was saying like a tiny neck i that's what i was i was like i mean like obviously i wasn't like a kid that was like

keeping good care of them right like they looked perfectly fine to me and i think like unless it is like you pulled it out of the pack and immediately put it in like a sleeve with like gloves on yeah it is like they competent it's like damaged yeah like that is the only way to have it like be like mint condition or whatever and so he ended up like not really taking that many cards and then he was like we only do it wasn't like he was like trying still trying to buy them and like scamming you and giving you a look he was just like we won't take he won't take them at all and so he only took like a handful of cards and he was like we only offer 60 of what it's worth online um so now i have to go to like a trade show apparently to sell the rest um but i

mean like he was like yeah see there's a nick here there's a nick here and i was like i see nothing and then like he wasn't even that careful like putting them back and i was like how do i know you didn't cause that he just ripped them yeah i was like these are literally worth that wasn't your fault when you put it back in the back in the slider but uh so i got i got really nothing which is a bummer because i was going to use that money for like surgeries and stuff i have like a million i have a million surgeries leg length penis yep decrease you're gonna get surgery for penis yes i'm gonna get an extra you're gonna get surgery for penis too i'm gonna get a spare penis on my back like like jeeps have an extra tire in case i in case i like can't get

the first one up i like they can just go to nuts on the one behind me use my spare oh man yeah so now i can't get those surgeries i was wondering if i should even tell them like hey i really need this money for surgeries do you actually need surgeries uh i need like an ear surgery yeah and i need to do a sleep study because i think i have sleep apnea okay wait why do you need an ear surgery because like when i go on planes i can't hear out of like one of my ears for like two weeks after what yeah they're real nightmare i was like everywhere i felt really bad when we were doing that photo shoot last week i couldn't hear out of my left ear so every time they told me to do something i had to be like what uh every time you go on a plane you can't hear for two

weeks yes have you looked this up yeah it's called like you're like pressurized it's called eustachian tube dysfunction which basically means my eustachian tubes are too narrow does that mean you'll never have kids yeah or you need to go in and get your tubes tied yeah i need to get have died yes i got an ear vasectomy my crustacean tubes are fucked bro i speaking of pressurized on planes uh flan's water bottle was like full one of these hydroflask things and uh i had already not had a great showing with the our our roommate she was in the middle i was in the window seat then we had a guy in the aisle and when i opened it up before we landed it shot out a perfect stream of water for like three seconds like i had enough time to be like to like put my hands on it to try

and like stop it from going and the guy next to us was i just had it because i got you know when you are falling asleep on a plane you do the like jerk back up thing like every time i was doing that with my hand for some reason so my body is fine and my hand would be like kind of on flan's lap or on my lap and then at one point i tried to like balance by putting my arm around her so i could sleep on my shoulder and my arm was around her and i had a dream that i needed to do something with my hand and so i like jerked my hand like out and i think missed his face by like a centimeter and he looked like he already wasn't doing well he he was if you ever get on a plane and yeah oh okay so it's just like that yeah and then he was doing the thing where like his

he was trying to sleep in his hands and he just looked like he was in like agony and so i don't think i was helping very much um but yeah that's kind of generally my wait what was the point of that when i open your ears when i opened flan's water bottle it got so pressurized that it shot out a stream god i got it like his ears just like your ears have you ever have you tried to get them cleaned out yeah yeah yeah no dice i do it pretty often with like there's like liquid that you can pour in there yeah i've done like dissolve it fizzles in your ear yeah you gotta like keep it in there i did that for uh is it fun it's pretty fun because it's like a chemical it's like an acid thing that you like put in your ear and it like

it's supposed to like dissolve all your earwax and just like bingsu and vinegar kind it's kind of like the coke and mentos i'll just do that i'll just do coke yeah coke and mentos yeah you chop up tiny bits of coke or of mentos put it in your ear and then dump coke in it yeah and it'll shoot all the it's actually a really good idea why haven't i thought of that why don't you try that and then get back to us and then i'll see if i how much is that gonna cost dude i think it's like um 9k 10k or something i'd have i have a doctor's appointment coming up and it's not covered by insurance um it depends i think i think i have i have to say i have like tmj or something or maybe that's a different thing i think uh it's the podcast studio cody

noels got it yeah what's tm too much too much juice too much turbulent mastication of the jaw oh it's your it's your your temporum badaular joint yeah it's temporum badaular joint i think i think insurance will cover some of it but insurance like insurance doesn't cover anything at least my totally miffed jaw that's what it is he has a totally miffed jaw total muff jaw total myth the guy guy who has a he miffed it a total muff total muff jaw is when a guy has been doing too much cunnilingus in his jawline oh god i don't want to think about angus coming i went to the dentist this morning and they told me i have grinded my teeth so much that they're the shape of a 50 year old's teeth is that real do 50 year olds have different shaped teeth than

us yeah apparently you're like teeth like wear down over time bros grind bros addicted to the grind i'm addicted to grinding even in my sleep in my pants uh oh i'm on tonight so is they gonna give you like a mouth guard or something dude insurance doesn't cover it and it's like 700 a mouth guard a night guard yeah a night guard yeah the night guard they give you a night guard it's just a guy that's like a new netflix show he stands outside your door with a with a torch and wards off evil spirits yeah i told my dentist i was like i could do like 300 thinking it was like pond stars or something you're like you're like 200 and an articuno yeah psi nine basically do you think there's any dentist that would take pokemon cards as payment

probably one probably one it makes it sound like there's like one specific guy yeah they did have a dentist in the back of the pokemon card place did they just feel like free checkup it's like that bar we went to where there was a there was a barber shop in the back in seattle oh my god yeah it was like connected to a barber shop like you go to the bathroom you it's just like open like if you turn to your right there it's just in a barber shop you go hit on a girl you get rejected go get a completely different haircut and then hit on a pretty womaner we had one in our student center which i thought was really weird in college yeah you would just be like grabbing chick-fil-a and like there'd be someone like 20 feet away from you just getting

their haircut just staring at you the whole time texas a&m a lot of a lot of things happening to other near other things like the pooping the bathroom being behind the dj booth that still is the funniest visual why would you even subject yourself to that if i'd rather shit my pants than have everyone at the club i think they were just expecting people to like pee into it not actually like take a shit so you'd be faced away but did anyone ever do that peeing with their pants around the ankles like the dj booth swings open it's just like a guy's bear that would be awesome like as a prank did i just tell you guys that there was a kid at rollins that would do that yeah i love that guy i hope he's doing well my roommate in college called me one time he goes

hey this girl is like supposed to meet me um in the study room soon i think she's like waiting out in the hallway can you like check on her like bring her in the study room i was like yeah for sure and i look and all the way at the end of our dorm hallway it's just this bear ass just like sitting there and i was like yeah man i see her tell her she's cool to come on in that's good oh can i go a lot of risk i have to pee as well yeah let's play risk this episode is sponsored by better help guys financial stress affects far more than our bank accounts, it can take a serious toll on mental health and relationships with 88% of Americans feeling some form of financial stress at the start of 2026. Money worries often bring anxiety,

sleep disruption, and even depression and are all the leading sources of conflict for couples. This month, we want to normalize the emotional weight of financial stress and remind people that struggling with money doesn't mean they've failed. Sometimes it's just about accessing the right kind of support guys therapy can be a great way to reduce that financial stress it's not about financial advice but about how to manage the stress or the shame or the anxiety that can come with uh you know your relationship with money better help will help you find quality therapists they work according to a very strict code of conduct they're fully licensed and and they have a therapist match commitment so better help does the initial matching work for you that allows you

to focus on your therapy goals and they do a little questionnaire and then they pair you with someone and if you aren't happy with it, you can switch at any time with their tailored recommendations. Guys, they've got over 30,000 therapists and they're the world's largest online therapy platform

having served over 6 million people globally and it works, all right? There's an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. Guys, when life feels overwhelming, therapy can help sign up and get 10 off at betterhelp.com slash pd that's better h-e-l-p dot com slash pd guys this episode is brought to you by gld willie and i got some gld the other

day and we are iced out to the gills uh think about this for a second all right everyone has those go-to pieces right the shoes that go with everything that one pair of jeans that just it fits just right all right uh the t-shirt that always looks drippy no matter what well most guys are missing one thing from that lineup and it's jewelry all right that's where gld comes in they make the kind of pieces that they become part of your routine all right this isn't like a special occasion oh i'm going to the king's wedding or the prince's funeral and i'm wearing it this is the kind of thing you're wearing every single day. Day in, day out.

Nighttime, daytime. Nighttime? You name it. K? Nighttime, yeah. At the fair, at the carnival. Guys, I think what Willie's trying to get out is it doesn't need to be for the round table or for some sort of jousting or

perhaps a big banquet. It doesn't matter. The Festival of Seven Moons. You can wear this every eve and this isn't the cheap stuff. GLD only uses real gold every stone is handset and their production process is on a different level all right you can see it you can feel it when you have it in your hand uh it's seriously one of those pieces that you put on once and it never comes off they got chains pendants bracelets they had even got watches uh whether you whether you like to keep it simple or you like a little

shine a little willie d flair i always say they have you covered not just hype right they got over two million customers justin bieber malik neighbors micah parsons asap rocky they're all wearing them why shouldn't you and the best part every single piece is guaranteed for life so if you want to look feel and be your best or just want to level up your outfit this is the missing piece you've been sleeping on work hard and change the game for a limited time only new customers are getting an insane deal use code playdate to get 40 off at gld.com that's 40 off with code playdate at gld.com after you purchase they will ask where you heard about them please support our show and tell them that we sent you let's get back into the episode

all right how did that go i i went great was it because of my nuclear brew yeah your nuclear brew made me do a nuclear brew they i've been getting good feedback and you'll be happy to know i took the last pot of coffee that someone else made it made a nuclear batch not only did i refill it made it nuclear i have a question please happy easter thank you i don't know if i said that to you thank you did you go to mass i did yeah how was it i don't know i went to brunch i got drunk did you go to brunch i did i did go to brunch i did not go to mass and i had an all-time all-time brunch waiter she was using she was like saying obviously we do this as well so i'm not one to talk but she

was saying sayings that don't exist very confidently to the table and like acting like we should all know them but they weren't like it was easy to figure out what she was talking about but it was oh she wasn't like a fan like no no no no no no no no no it felt like she but it felt like she was just making up things on the spot and so like my my cousin uh had drank all the water in his glass and she is coming around and filling up everyone's waters again and he was across the table and so when he went to hand her his glass she goes stretch it like a slinky and extend it all the way and we were all like that's awesome that is great i really like that stretch it like a slinky and make it stinky she also but then there were there were times where she i think

was overstaying her welcome a little bit like she was talking to my sister and her boyfriend about something and flan was also next to her but flan had her back to her because she just she'd been here for like five minutes and flan was like i do not want to get wrapped up in this and i didn't realize flan was trying to get me to like stay and talk so she didn't have to and so i said i was going to the bathroom and i think flan got the got the brunt of it of the waitress a brunch of it yeah huh she shouldn't be doing that she should not my sister's boyfriend asked what beers they have she goes i know we have stella i don't know any of the other ones we were like that feels like it feels like the one you should know yeah and then she came back and was like how's the

stella and he was like it's great like did you figure out what other one she has no okay kind of i actually appreciate this kind of laissez-faire approach to because if you're working on you have to work on easter like i don't we had a funny one yeah true we had a funny one where uh we were at the applebee's in the vegas airport all-time place to be on easter no no a few weeks ago oh and uh the lady came over and like took we all ordered like drinks food and like we got some apps and like she's just all mental and walking away we were all like that's like mad respect like she is crushing it like it was busy like good for her like that's awesome oh for five on the way back no we we're all like literally gassing up like that was like

pretty impressive like that's kind of insane like blah blah and then immediately walks back and was like you had the burger or whatever and we have to go through and do all our orders again and then she still messed up willie simon's order but she did great she was the mental the mental uh order taking is so awesome when they pull it off i don't know but when you fuck it up like if they fucked it up on friday my dad and i played golf and then casey flan my stepmom and casey's boyfriend met us for lunch after and the lady came and and dawn my stepmom was like she she called it was like last week she did it mental and literally got like none of our stuff right and we were like okay and then she did it mental again and i was like okay you know maybe she learned her mistake

she we all got burgers yeah which is easy to remember i don't think you need to write that down but people had different sides and then people asked for different cheeses and some people got gluten-free buns we got a couple gluten heads she came back and i think statistically if you just clicked like random for like how you want your burger cooked what cheese and what side you would get more correct yeah then what she got the best one the best thing she did was like if she clearly forgot what side someone got she just gave them onion rings and so we had like five sides of onion rings when in reality i was the only one that ordered them and so w john casey's boyfriend uh made a big show after he ordered it about how excited he was to eat

tater tots because he hadn't had he hadn't had tater tots in like three years an adult man yeah and she came back and had his with onion rings and he didn't say anything but he was like and she goes oh tater tots right and then came back brought his some people had gluten-free buns when they weren't supposed to have them some people had regular buns when they were supposed to have gluten-free and she goes we have a new chef in the back this is his fault we were like it doesn't feel like it because you even if it is his fault and you knew the right ones you would see these and go all of them didn't order onion rings these all have onion rings maybe they had like a huge onion surplus that's what we said we're like maybe let's just get rid of them yeah i when i was a

i i thought it was so much faster to not write things down and i was right like 90 of the time but i wouldn't ring in the wrong thing i would just go back and be like occasionally i'd have to go back and be like sorry you had the yep double checking before i sent it and i think that was an okay method it's maybe a little bit annoying but it saved me so much time because most of the time i knew can i ask you a question yeah when you're at a restaurant and the waitress says that the like cooks didn't they like missed your ticket or something yeah is that usually just the waitress forgot to ring it in yeah is it ever the cooks that would just miss a ticket it's possible but it's pretty hard to miss a ticket when whenever the waitress says like they messed

up your order they're gonna redo it again it makes me mad because i wish they would just say i forgot to ring in my ticket yeah but it's like you why would you ever do that like i why would you ever if you could blame it but people aren't stupid like we all know what happened yeah i ever tell you about the time i spilled the drinks on those people no when i was a waiter i showed up one shift and i there was a big party it was like eight people or something took their drink orders drinks were ready brought them over from the bar bending over to set the first one down spill the whole tray of drinks like all over like kind of gets on a guy gets all over the floor i was like oh my god i'm so sorry blah blah cleaned up

obviously like get you new drinks new drinks the same drinks that i'd spilled grab those walk over like to a t exact same thing and mind you i had never dropped a plate of drinks or a tray of drinks in my entire i literally got the yips it was like they talk about this is like baseball players like i yeah it happened the same way two times in a row and i was looking at these people like i'm so sorry like i my co-workers are like are you like drunk i was like no and i went to my manager i was like i don't know what's happening like i promise i'm not drunk like i'm and i was like you know i was i was like our best i was like i would train all the new people like i was this is like lebron getting the yips right uh and yeah it was just it was my they say when

you my manager was like he was the man and he was uh he was like he'd been in restaurants for a long time and he was like yeah i've seen this before like legitimately he's like i've seen i've seen the best waiters i know some days you it just happens you got the yips he was like go sit down take a second we'll have someone else like finish that table they call it a reliever yeah they call Yeah, he did. He went to the bullpen. He was like, someone else will finish your table. You're fine.

There's some waiter in the back with the pitcher jacket on. He's chewing sunflower seeds. They're like, Johnson, you're in. He's squatting with a thing of- Yeah, he's warming up. They play crazy train. When he runs out. And everyone's like, Johnson's in.

He's got a- What's the equivalent of ERA? for like drinks spilled per table oh yeah he's a zero he's a zero yeah i had a fucking eight i got i got shelled that day wait so what did the what did the tables say when it happened again i mean like they were nice people but like i once it happens twice you're like what the fuck anyone is like what the fuck and i was like i don't know what to say like because you also can't say like i'm not drunk without sounding drunk right so i'm not hammered i have the yips i was just like i don't even know what to say i'm so sorry like was that the barbecue

restaurant or the circle city side that was the one where i was a waiter like a this is when you were in the minors no this was probably the most this is the most legit serving job i had it was it was a restaurant by bc i was there for like a couple years and uh i've seen i was yeah i don't know i can't i can't explain it man i just i didn't have it that day what was were you like maybe you you were missing some of the fundamentals like a lot of it i feel like is how you prepare the tray to be taken over yeah but i was i was a goat of i was the i was the best server that place i'd ever seen and a lot of it's just like feel too it's like you don't really like but then the second time i think i was thinking about it overthinking it well so what

you stay if it's if it's eight drinks you work from like the middle out no it was it was like four drinks got on like a smaller tray and i leaned over to put one down and like just tilted my hand too much did i tell you i can't explain it'll never happen again never ever i don't care what happens at the golf simulator place i have this favorite waitress she's very attentive like all like you won't even finish your beer and there'll be like another one there and she's super positive and like just a delight to be around and probably you think she's like really sad on the inside no it seems like it seems like she's got like everything going for it she's just is a happy those are usually the ones yeah yeah you never expect it it's the ones you never expect

wait i don't get maybe i'm not maybe i'm missing it what are you saying like a suicide thing no i don't what what is he like he's like losing his fucking mind i'm a funny guy i'm a comedian wait what was the question what'd you ask me do you think she sat on the inside yeah no i think she's stoked like sometimes people who present the happiest actually have like the darkest thoughts and like so andrew must be like andrew must be like suicidal over there right now because he's the happiest i've ever seen a guy in my life you did this you made him this happy and now he's gonna fucking blow his brains out wait no i didn't say am i missing is that how it works if you're happy you sad later no no andrew can't we need him for andrew's gonna

blow his head clean off bro no what stop that's my producer brother oh my god what is what is it with you and making making producers of our podcast unbelievably happy what's that bit you always do we're like we'd all be laughing together and you go uh you guys are my co-workers yeah that's why you're one of my co-workers you guys you're one of my co-workers we work together yeah uh but she so we go in and we order the footy and i order the same beer every time we go in and uh i order we go can we get two topa topas and the second she tried to pour one like the the tap blue yeah like the it was straight foam normally like a five minute process to get the keg up and running again she we were like oh no worries like we'll be over on whatever bay we're

on and you can bring them over by the time i had set my bag down and gotten my shoes on she's over at completely out of breath with two perfectly poured topa topas she was like this is the fastest i've ever changed the keg in my entire life i was like you're the great you were the man you're the greatest waitress of all time and then the next time i came in i actually liked this move because it kind of went unnoticed by the other workers i walked in she goes jack tell her how fast i changed that keg last time i was like lightning it was like an f1 thing but i was i like when people are excited about their jobs yeah yeah sometimes though the people who seem the most excited about their jobs are actually like really struggling yeah they're the ones that have

you know a deep dark sadness yeah and you could speak a little bit on that right there's a feeling of kind of like a bottomless pit no matter how much yeah or women or minion dolls it's just a void that you'll never be able to fill yeah i think you wake up in the middle of night and cold sweat just screaming and then you take your third batch of nyquil of the night and you repress those demons until they find their way back up right again you ever mix cough syrup and sprite did you know you can make a drink out of that it's awesome i had it one time in college really yeah because i was at a party and this guy had like pneumonia or something so he's prescribed like codeine for it he goes dude i think i'm gonna make lean for the party tonight and i thought he

was just joking and then he showed up but he did like the whole jolly rancher thing and everything double cup styrofoam and he goes yo man you want a sip and i was like give it to me man was it awesome i mean it just tasted like like sprite like purple sprite i guess i didn't have enough for it to like that'd be funny a completely normal party host dude thanks for coming we got yeah beers are in the cooler like buffalo chicken dip out back the leans in the kitchen like we do like make yourself at home like a scissor episode we're just all like guys don't if you're at home don't do lean okay i knew a guy that made lean one time with vodka instead of sprite yeah oh yeah i know a guy who's from canada and he only drinks vodka sprites

taper yeah when you guys were with caleb presley did you ever mention the barbecue restaurant thing with him i've told him that yeah you have yeah yeah well i had met him before that wait what was the barbecue thing again he was like showed up drunk to your barbecue restaurant and you were like you can't come in here without a shirt yeah oh yeah 16 he's just taking photos in the parking lot and then we know with us like we were he didn't no one else recognized him we because it was like early barstool for him but i was like a big fan and he uh makes it put things in perspective where i'm like he's been in this industry for a long time but yeah we made him put shirt on and then we took a photo with him and i gave him a hat did you give him a shirt to put on

no he like went to his car and got like a vest i remember it was like a patagonia vest with no shirt under we're like yeah it counts i always when i worked at when i worked in the restaurant industry i only had one like employee shirt and so i would forget to wash it and then i'd be like oh my god i have to leave her work in 40 minutes and so it'd be like damp on the way over yeah and i would roll i'd put it on the window of the passenger seat and then roll it up so it was like pinched in the thing and just hope like on the highway the air would dry it enough i remember the manager after like the third time my shirt my shirt was soaked it was just like what wait i'm just confused so because you hadn't washed it you would put it in

the wash but not so i could get it through the wash and then i wouldn't have enough time for it to get through a full like drying cycle got it and so i would try and do the remaining drying on like the on i-95 and uh sometimes i had like socks out the window too like i was a mess in terms of like planning the thing and the fourth or fifth time my shirt was soaked he was just like do we need to get you more shirts like why are they always are you like swimming before this and i was just like no it's just bad bad planning yeah my i could do like the top but the like booty shorts would always be like it was just hard to keep up with the washing you know what i mean and obviously that's like the whole brand of hooters right oh do you think if a guy i outed

myself for working at hooters like what is that bit what is that joke if a boy is a waitress at does he get a different uniform or does he nah oh nah they get like slacks and uh polo is what i'm told pleaded khakis extremely conservative outfit you're first time in khakis they can't show skin no like in court oh he pleaded your honor he pleaded khakis this is a vehicular manslaughter he can't plead khakis pleaded pants i went to hooters on easter one time no you actually yeah it was really sad why in college no you didn't i was in high school my friends and i like thought no not my parents it was like we had already done easter brunch and my friends and i were hanging out i'd already spent family

time i went to church that morning i confessed for what i was preemptively confessing you know i'm gonna go to hooters after this right well yeah every college national championship you go to hooters forgive me father for i'm about to sin i'm gonna go to hooters and hit on the waitress we should start a male hooters called shaboying boings and it's guys in but it's guys in banana hammock i think it should be called dog logs yeah ants on a log there already is a boy's hooters what's the boy hooters called booters tallywhackers uh pull up tallywhackers for me it's nice to know that if your current job doesn't work out yep sounds like it doesn't exist anymore oh it's hooters for gay men i think it's for any kind of men it says hooters for a lot of women

well i think other kind of men can't go even if they're just trying to figure it out it's like when you're when like a girl wants to come to the strip club with everyone to prove she's like a cool girl you go with your gay buddies to tally whackers yeah or anyone can prove you're like you don't have to go with a gay guy you can just go and try to understand yourself a little better over a nice meal do do girls like ass the way we do sheesh i know one who does like do girls like it when a guy has a like a rumpus on him yeah that's why baseball players always have girlfriends i was wondering that you rarely run into a single bit it's because they all have rumpuses yeah why do baseball players have asses squatting is that a big

part of baseball like the batting stance got it got it would you rather have male flight the ass of a woman or the breasts of a woman that's a disgusting question next do you have questions about uh history or literature what if the guy who built the pyramids is like still around and he's like i get no fucking credit yeah the only one who worried about the only one who should be worried about aliens taking his job is the guy about the pyramids someone was someone made a comment that made me laugh that like there are all these natural wonders from like ancient history that like white guys built but then like the second it's like

a country or a place in africa where there's like pyramids they're like that has to be aliens like no one's no one's like the mayans the mayans temples were built by aliens or are there Why is the Every time I'm in a hotel I turn on the history channel It's all aliens Yeah I think They kind of abandoned

The history element of it Yeah I think that's just Sex sells Did you ever hear about My party idea For the great pyramid of Giza Yeah that was a draft right Everybody brings a 30 rack

Can't stop drinking Until you've built A structurally sound pyramid what if you get a little sick and you're worried about overconsumption well no then you can stop okay then you can well you want to everyone has to drink you have to build a great pyramid of giza well whilst only drinking in moderation when was the last time you drank in moderation yesterday nice how many did you have i had three beers wow that's fantastic yeah well i didn't drink all weekend and then yesterday we went to vbb to watch the sunset

and you only had three beers and i had three beers it was great that's fantastic i have gotta learn your secret i only had three beers all week and they were yesterday i got back from from florida and my fridge had some straggler high noons in it i was like they must have a fucking killer weekend oh yeah you know what i mean when you get back and you find out like they had like a party we never do this yeah never ever do this yeah i am um certainly a sassy little fellow sometimes but you know we all have our quirks i got a text flan and i are getting ready to go to florida what the fuck what what do you want me to do with that you just it's fine i'm a feisty little feisty little piece of ass sometimes all right go flan and i are getting ready to go

to the airport for our red eye to florida and i get a text keep in mind april fool's day i get a text your flight has been delayed 495 minutes which i know what you're thinking that's like hours that's like a year it was it was it got moved it was supposed to be 11 55 yeah and i believe it got moved to 8 a.m does that math check out however many minutes that was yes does that check out yes okay that would be at eight hours and 15 minutes okay yeah so it was that that was correct so i can i be honest i'm insane at minutes i am goaded at minutes sorry go ahead they texted i get a text your flight has been delayed 495 minutes and i looked at i was like this has to be an april fool's prank like that that's the equivalent of canceling the

flight and just rebooking you another day and so i call the delt i checked the app it's real it got moved to 8 a.m so i called the hotline and i have talked to dozens of customer service people in my day all usually pretty nice i've never met someone who gave less of a fuck about the thing that they're doing for their job i go hi our flight just got delayed until 8 a.m um and yeah and she goes okay and i was like can you help us what did you want help with i want in her defense i go our flight just got i'm wondering this man my flight was just delayed yeah so usually they usually they go like i'm so sorry to hear that like let's try and get you on another flight got it got it she was okay and so yeah maybe she wasn't the right i didn't give a

ton of i mean i guess in that with those times it's like you're not gonna there's not gonna be another midnight right i don't know i thought you know let's at least go through the motions of trying to get me on something so that i'm not missing an entire it's also a four-day trip so if i'm missing an entire day that like defeats the purpose of even going and she goes okay and i was like can you try and help me find an alternative she was like sure and so she goes we can get you on a flight at 7 55 i was like that's five minutes before the one i already have like that's not totally gonna not totally gonna help it's like i'm down to do like a connection whatever and she was like no there's not really anything and i was like oh that's that sucks and she goes

i can look at airports like around you if you want i was like yeah it'd be great like i'd you know burbank or whatever and she starts listing she listed two ones in seattle one in uh not not lax to seattle and in seattle to there like yeah like you could drive up there tonight she listed one in canada she gave us san diego and like another one i was like okay this is not working I finally like impossible to believe there's no flights anywhere else and so I hang up and I call back say the exact same thing another woman answers and responds exactly how I was hoping where she was like yes yeah let's figure out a way to do it immediately finds like another alternative it she was looking on other airlines like she just wanted to get me there didn't end

up working out and then I opened the app and the whole time there was just an 1155 to Atlanta and So we got there on time at the exact same time, maybe like an hour later. But it was the first time I wanted to write into Delta and be like, this person is bad. You got an evil guy on the phone. They can't be treating their diamond members. What? They can't be treating me like that, man.

They can't be treating their diamond members. They cannot be treating their diamond. Could you imagine if I had called them as a platinum member? She probably would have just thrown up on the phone and hung up. She would have thrown up into her phone and would have oozed out of the speaker. She would have peed in one end and pooped out the other. You hear her peeing and then pee starts coming out of your speaker. Oh, ma'am.

Ma'am. Ma'am, are you peeing on my phone? Would you quit it? Yeah, Delta's been buns lately. I'm considering my other options. Because every flight I've been on. We got delayed on the way back, too. That's fighting words, man.

You have hats of all the airline brands and you're like, I'm changing my allegiance. There would be, dude. I think Frontier would let me be the CEO if I said I'd switch. Really? No. But they'd get, like, a lot of business out of me. I just think, here's the thing. I kind of feel like Michael Jordan on the Bulls when they started taking him for granted.

Can't stop till you get enough. Can't stop. What? Can't stop till you get enough. Come on. should we do our roadmap yeah all right we got a beautiful episode for you guys today we are going to do our draft do our draft is that it yeah all right we got curb your enthusiasm plots that don't exist and then birthday party ideas that don't exist

what do you want to start with willy can we start with the party themes i feel like oh wait i don't think i should do curb plots anymore i've i haven't really even seen the show and i'm just not i can't i have i'm you've dried my riverbed oh also i forgot i have a this guy rocks that i know that i need to get off my chest all right this is this is my favorite video i've seen all week andrew pull this up and then pause it immediately and i mean immediately okay so this is a man on the street guy at the university of alabama he's running oh i've seen this two fine gentlemen this makes me so sad it is the funniest it what does it make you say it made me happy like these people go out and like take advantage of drunk kids and like put them on the

internet oh like now this keep these kids are gonna get like clowned or that kid is maybe the first gay case con yeah it's just like if you're hammered if you're putting a microphone and a camera in front of people who are clearly too drunk to be like consenting these things you're a bad guy there's my hot take my this guy rocks is the second kid okay the guy with the microphone obviously does not rock i think that the kid i think the kid that said the embarrassing thing it's still funny but the question is what's your favorite part about alabama let's see just the second kid's reaction is what is my favorite thing you're of alabama i said it once before and i saw it again i love the deer oh my god what do you love about it bro like no cap like

the bars are fired straight up i said it once before and i saw it again so i have a couple i have a couple oh my god it's like me sometimes sitting next to you oh i'm in this video too i have a couple things my first thing is that this is clearly his boy like they are buddies and usually when you have one kid who's so far in one direction and says something that outlandish the buddy would usually be on the same page they usually have similar morals sure yeah him being just like stunned whoa yeah they're both clearly hammered but the second kid has the presence of mind to be like good god man and then also but then he immediately reverts back to like yeah and then he kind of like locks in he's like no cap but like to think about how easy

these that second kid is is a cool guy in at the university of alabama sure and how easy life was where your brain just your brain can just be on autopilot you can just be like no cap the bars are fired here and people would be like i mean he had me snapping can we just watch the way he humped the one of the comments was killing me where he goes i hope he's i hope he's not getting down like that keep going uh i hope bro ain't hitting like that because the humping i didn't even see the humping the humping is the craziest part and i love the deer that's awesome my god what do you love the most about it bro like no cab like the bars are fire the bars are fire man i'll let it up i fuck with that that to me feels like the friend dynamic of

like the people you meet in the first like week of college where you're just like i don't necessarily align with this guy on everything but like he's the only guy that's given me the time of day so far exactly next to me this is my interim buddy until i can find a more sound exactly all right ready yeah did we do curb plots or did you say party themes party themes all right Let's do it. These are birthday party themes that don't exist. Dueling parties, you randomly split all your friends into two groups. They have to have separate parties right next to each other,

and you go back and forth, and they're trying to win. At the end of the night, you vote which party is the best, and that team wins. And so all night, they're trying to one-up each other. You get more individualized conversation too, but also it's like makes everyone better. makes every party better because there's competition i love that uh how do you know me every person at the party dresses like someone from the birthday boy or girl's uh life so it

could be like yeah one of their old teachers their childhood dog uh it could be like they're they're one of their ex-boyfriends and they try and guess who you're dressed like love that uh birthday eras tour it's a progressive party that takes uh takes place at multiple locations over the course of the night and each location is a different era of your life so you start at like sort of a baby pre-game and then like you know for me like you go to the high school one and it's like all like kid cuddy and we're drinking twisted tea and then you go to college and you have some natural lights that's fantastic and drinking games and then you go to now and you read novels and literature to coke maybe start with that one i think that's a good one that's really that is

great i also had an heirs one but i yeah i just said dress as the birthday boy or girl at a different stage of life but the good news was i didn't end up picking it for my final one okay i'm yeah i'm excited about this one uh one year one beer so round one everyone who's known the birthday person their entire life goes up and drinks a beer yeah and it goes in rounds so like if you have known them since they were six you join at round six and so the people that have known them the longest drink like 24 beers if they're 24 that's awesome and then like you know the people that have joined later in life just join towards those last things so the people that have known like your brother is like shit your brother is like fucking yeah are they like

shotgunning them or i think it's like they're like if you go in backwards order so everyone starts drinking and then people fall off along the way yeah i like that that's good this is like think gender reveal but it's like pirates or something and you the birthday person doesn't know what the theme of their birthday party is going to be until they get there and they cut open the cake and it's all pirates on the inside and then everyone goes and changes and they have a big pirate party i love that or everyone's already dressed like it but they're under like lab coats or something yeah like hazmat suits yeah handles and candles every party goer brings a handle of their favorite liquor and a candle and the birthday boy or girl has to take a pull

from every handle and once they've done that they blow out that person's candle and so you can see what alcohol is remaining and then once all the candles are gone that means they've drank every alcohol possible that's beautiful uh is that all yours yeah yeah i had rage your age the party starts at midnight on the person's birthday and the guests have to stay at the party one hour for every year they have been alive so a 24 year old would be there until midnight the next day maybe if you have like some unks at the party there is like a three-day bender for them wow um i had the piñata colada piñata full of piña colada hung from the ceiling and the birthday a boy or girl hits it while the partygoers try and catch it in their cups

before it hits the ground. That sounds like a mess. Maybe it's outside. Cakes and drakes. Every guest dresses as a famous drake, and you eat cakes. So maybe the rapper. Maybe you could be Drake from Drake and Josh. Maybe you could be Drake May.

You could be the Drake. Sir Francis Drake. The Drake Passage, like on the way to Antarctica. Anything that's named after him. Should we do curb plots? That's kind of a twofer. yeah that's it these are more curb your enthusiasm plots that don't exist on the way to meet his friend at the pride parade larry blows the transmission in his car when they are walking

in the pride parade he is yelling to his friend about how much he hates the transmission and people think he's talking about the transgender support group called transmission and they all turn on him that's great uh and his buddy's like you're always blowing the transmission in uh larry goes into the bathroom after somebody and it reeks and larry then gets all worked up and goes on a spiel about if you're leaving the bathroom and you just drop the bomb and someone's coming in you got to give them the silent like or like you got you got to do like the little you got to do a warning you can't just let someone walk into that yeah if you don't do the you gotta do that yeah love it um okay larry's bank opens at 9 a.m and larry pulls in at 8 59

and gets in line right as it opens the person behind him tells him that she was waiting in her car in the parking lot for 10 minutes before larry got there and because of that he should get behind her larry insists your place in line starts when you get to the door not when you get to the parking lot agreed uh larry's reluctant to take his shoes off at a friend's house because he isn't wearing socks but they asked everyone to take their shoes off so he has to take his bare feet out and he's embarrassed and he goes on a rant about how it what you wear someone can't tell you to change what you're wearing just because you're at their house yes that's your own personal you know uh uh that's that's your own personal uh pizza no decision that's your own

person someone can't tell you what to change what you're wearing just because you're at their house that's like that's your own personal like pizza no someone can't tell you to change what you're wearing just because you're at their house right yes then later that night he has a dinner party at his house someone shows up in assless chaps and he asks them to cover their ass at the dinner table and they say but larry i thought you can't change tell someone to change what they're wearing just because they're at your house that's fantastic uh larry goes to a laundromat and exclaims can we just go back to whites only like it used to be after someone's red sock ruins his load of whites yep uh and it turns all of his clothes red in the load was larry's favorite

white hat and when he wears it out of the laundromat uh the clip of him yelling that has gone viral and now he's wearing a red hat and everyone thinks that he's wearing a maga hat and that he's gone super conservative uh but he was just talking about laundry i like it thank you all right we love you guys have a great rest of your wednesday have a great weekend and we will see you on monday for our 200th episode phenomena bring your baseball bats and bring your hat come on baby that's what i've always said peace you