Will & Rusty's Playdate - I went through her phone

Episode Date: April 6, 2026

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Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll.

So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. are we going we are play date play date and i want to get something off my chest get it andrew andrew play the rusty wants to get something off his chest button chat it just goes chest it goes chat it's chat saying chat chat i want to let everyone in this room know and maybe at home or if you're out in your car or we're at work if you're on top of a grape if you're on top of a grape thank you will covering all our bases i had a spicy chick-fil-a sandwich last night and so as you can imagine i'm in a little bit of pain right now so if everyone can just show me a little bit

of grace today we're all going to get through this everything's going to be show me the place where it hurts it's right here and i know in about an hour it's going to move eight inches south and be stinging what do you call it your sting ring your sting ring you call that or i called that you told me that oh yeah i thought that was like your maybe your dad thing slipping out the sting ring now my dad doesn't say that my dad only talks about novels right and politics novels politics beanie babies i used to have beanie babies i never had one i had a big closet full of them we got rid of them and i think now they're like worth that would be like a bit that would literally be like your retirement actually yeah i think there were there were probably if you had

a closet full we had a full closet that was just for beanie babies there was probably one or two in there that yeah you could give me a nice how much do they cost i think there are a couple that are like thousands of dollars i had so many it was like the closet was so fun because you could just go in and just like flop around in them if we go hang out in the closet wait go up 550 million or 550 000 holy princess diana's beanie baby was that hers it was in it was in was that of her it was that is her it was in the wreck that was the paparazzi that was that was that's what was chasing princess diana i can i talk how many did they make i mean hundreds of thousands but i think it's like that one hasn't even been taken out of the box i have heard a theory um that when we are

parents it would be advantageous for us to buy whatever you buy your child unless it's something like crazy expensive if you buy them like a toy or something you should just buy two and put one in the attic assuming they're not like expensive are there other toys that have maintained this like if you saved all your fucking pokemon cards in pristine condition or like the packs and you didn't open them or like that's literally what i'm doing this weekend you're going pokemon hunting no i'm selling my pokemon cards to go to that because when i was home last week i found all of them and i looked up how much they're worth if i play my cards right yeah no pun intended uh i'll make like 5k this weekend what just off my phone what's your most valuable one

uh like a thousand dollars who something what is it um it's one of the eevee uh evolutions is it the one that looks like my sunglasses yeah really i don't know i don't know what your sunglasses one of the eevee evolutions looks like the sunglasses i wear like the animal is like oakley shaped no i have gooders one of the animals is gooders shape no they're like purple and they're kind of like reflective they look like the eyes of god look at the eevee evolution you have hologram sunglasses sorry i mean not to you know not to you know me to you but i also am in the card game are you really oh now that i have a fucking double weasley which one yeah the purple one my weasley twins patch card how much wait which purple one the the one on the left yeah

go to the first one it'll say its name so we can look it up more oh is it like mu2 no not mu2 no it's uh espion or whatever espionage i had the vaporion you have a vaporion yeah that's worth like a thousand dollars are you sure it's worth a thousand dollars i scanned it on the app really well but is what's the do you have it graded no is it in good condition yeah it's in like perfect condition i didn't play with it because i've heard like there's shit that like we don't even it's like one tiny like nick on the side is like yeah do you see them on tiktok live like my roommate z does that now really i don't know i'll tell you that's his new gig is that like a lot of money uh he pulled a fuck he just texted me that he pulled something crazy i'll read it

really quickly but does he make any money off like the live uh sorry that was confusing he he pulled a mark hamill star wars auto card for 10k but he so he works at a company he works at like a store and they stream and people can be like people can order a pack from the store and then they'll open it on live yeah and then they have the opportunity to like keep those and z will like ship them to him or they'll liquidate the card and give that guy the cash oh nice and so like he doesn't get that 10 grand no he pulled he just pulled that so some that probably was some other guy or sometimes they just open their own packs yeah that they own but kike hernandez came in and opened with him uh and he's enjoying it it's pretty cool i found a uh ken griffey jr card

that uh was like from some unreleased pack that's worth i think about a thousand dollars too that i need to what are you gonna do with the 5k where are you gonna sell them you're gonna go to like a meetup guess where the one pokemon store in la is east la uh santa monica little tokyo yep is it actually japan town is that the same thing like downtown no little tokyo is in downtown japan town is in satel oh oh little osaka i think they call it they call it little i've heard that i've heard people say that before yeah really satel that's funny that's awesome i was thinking about going there i found these new got my my buddy ben fibus is visiting right now and his girlfriend bajana was over yesterday she's also

visiting a friend why does everyone including myself girlfriends used to be named like sarah and now we all have girlfriends except for you that have names that i've never heard in my entire what you mean just bojana and flan and sadika sadika that's a good point but you're the only guy in this room you've like you've like a auntie i'm the only guy only guy in this room rather hard to date an american yeah i'm sorry i didn't want to export it sorry i was able to get girls in my own country yeah god forbid trump's gonna get on and be like no one's dating americans anymore they're all going to china um anyway bojana was telling us about these little guys they get in japan and they're like glow-in-the-dark you know about

this yeah i love those guys what are they calling him oh mitsitsky let's bitsky witsky mitsitsky spitsky i think smisky smisky yeah what do they do they're like they all do different things and they're all like mystery boxes and they're like oh that one is wild one of them spreads his butthole you know all the other ones seem pretty child friendly and then there's a chance that you can get one who's just flashing taint yeah but they don't have taint so it's just flashing here's a question please i was in a room of four people yesterday and no one knew that you have to charge glow-in-the-dark stuff you do not have to charge glow-in-the-dark like you have to put it under light oh i didn't know that so is that not a commonly known you knew that right

yeah it has to like absorb like if you want to use a glow-in-the-dark thing at night you have like put it under light during the day so what about those uh no those get i was gonna say the stars that you remember like those stars yeah because they're getting light all day from your lights or so do they they like retain the light how it's like i don't know the science but it's not like a perpetual source of light huh which no one seemed to believe yesterday you know it's my favorite thing with perpetual stuff motion is when when i got that somewhat bros got perpetual motion is when someone posts on tiktok something that looks like they've achieved perpetual motion and every single time there's a guy that comments the hardest part about perpetual motion is hiding

the motor and i just wait what this none of this is relatable to me at all i get it i get it you've seen those comments it's no i but i mean i understand what you're saying as well every maybe i'm just on the yeah i don't think i've ever seen a tiktok perpetual talk but they it it is like fucking clockwork that the top comment pull up perpetual motion tiktok and i would i would bet my fucking life the top comment is some goober saying this we all know it when i place this ball onto this track it should eventually run out of energy and come to rest in the center right no you're right physics says that on every pass it should be usually it's because it's losing energy from friction the hardest so how is it that it's getting to the

same height on every pass is this perpetual motion npc comment about hardest part in battery you get it like every it is i don't it is a sore point for me for some reason it makes me so mad interesting i you know that's so funny about oh look that bottom comment is a guy saying exactly what i'm saying the hardest part of making a video on perpetual motion is hiding the repeat npcs repeating the same comment so this is clear it's so weird that like there are things on the internet that it's just like yeah like there's clearly a lot of people that there's like this guy that in like the mj lenderman universe that comments on everything like my my cousin jordan did something bad back in 2008 and it's like anything like it would be a waxahachie post an

mj post this is laura anyone like sort of in the mj lenderman orbit he's in the comments comment and do people hate him yeah and then people are like yeah or no people just like i don't know have you seen the guy that comments his name's chris and he comments on all of our stuff i was gonna say there's a couple playmates that he either comments his name like he'll just comment chris or he comments his profile picture which is that guy going like i don't know i like that one though that one is funny to me because it's kind of gone like unnoticed yeah i haven't even noticed it the one this is like his big moment probably i don't even know if he listens to all the mets are going to extra innings sorry i shouldn't be watching the mets game during the podcast

there's just no excuse for that kind of behavior there's a couple playmates where like i'll see them in the dms i'll see them in the comments i'll see them on the tiktok comments i'll see them in the youtube comments i'll see my dms personally like they're everywhere are they which is great freaky uh yeah well when rusty was like hey everyone dm andrew a picture of your taint i got a lot of dms that were like well here you go was it actually t no no no would instagram cancel your account you think if they caught you they'd give you another one a double your account apparently now if you get a dick picture instagram will be like don't feel pressured to send one back oh nice and a lot of girls are like i'm the one that asked for it

I think that that is good. I've never asked for one. You've never asked for one? A dick pic. Have you ever sent a DP? I've sent hundreds. Have you ever actually? No replies.

I just don't know what they do with it. Yeah, you do. They're not touching themselves to a picture of your penis, are they? Not of yours. Not of mine. Sheesh! Sheesh! all right let's go back to what we were talking about before that yes which of course was

perpetual motion yeah speaking of perpetual motion i got a girlfriend how has that been going for you it's fine did you like that video i sent you and lauren this morning wait what was it sometimes is nothing has changed since she left the podcast it's the same we have this group chat that's the three of us and it used to just be me and lauren texting and will just is in the group chat and even now that they're dating it's it literally sometimes i wonder if you i would like to be in the room with you without you knowing when you get a notification from me because the way i picture it dm text or anything is you look at it and then you throw your phone up the window i got my dad yelled at me today for not responding to his text you're not a good texter yeah but i'm a great

hugger you are a good hugger here's a question you're in you're a good friend but you you are not good on the phone i did anyone do an april fools prank because i did one yeah i fucking tried and got thwarted immediately oh yeah tell us about it my friend julia middlebrook was on impractical jokers a couple months ago rewind to april fools last year i can't remember what she did but she got me bad enough that i put a reminder on my calendar for the 31st to get julian middle book back i think i'd already mentioned that and so i tried to set it up on the 31st by saying hey this is super random but my friend who's a tv producer uh i showed him the clip of you on impractical jokers and he loved your vibe and he wants to pitch you something if you want to hop on

like a zoom call and i hadn't really thought out the whole prank i think i was going to get her on with like lucas and like some other you know producer looking people and have them be like listen like we want to give you i like the idea that lucas is producer looking to other people too it's not just because we know that's his job i'm sorry and i think it was going to be like you know she was gonna be on like an nbc hit show or something and she snuffed it out immediately and she said you can't prank the prankster that's fucked i pranked my mom successfully today i called her and i told her that i tore my achilles this morning classic i told her i got hit by a bike while i'm running tore my achilles because she's been putting a lot of work in planning all

these events around the marathon weekend and i was supposed to be me and my brother running it but he got hurt so now he's not running it so it's just me so if i wasn't running it it would like ruin everything and uh i got her she felt really she was like oh honey i'm so sorry and was like really sad and i was like i felt horrible yeah you're like the this this light-hearted achilles tear prank didn't go the same way yeah i feel like it when pranking your fragile mother she first of all strong mother serious injury is always the way to go well achilles isn't like that serious i don't that would be a life-changing injury you an achilles tear you probably i mean look what happened to kobe that's not what happened to kobe sorry before the day

you'd never be able to play competitive basketball yeah i was gonna say i think an achilles tear for like a regular guy would be like not a big deal but you run marathons sure that would be an issue it would but i think i could heal it i can fix it i can fix it i can fix him he grows back like when you cut a lizard's tail off. Achilles' girlfriend was like, I can fix him. And Aaron Rodgers was like, it's harder than you think.

Achilles' girlfriend was Danica Patrick. Danica Patrick is a NASCAR driver. Danica Patrick is a NASCAR? Is a fucking NASCAR driver. I don't care what anybody says.

He's a fucking NASCAR driver. And a hero. and a hero are there any other women nascar drivers there's one right now nice how's she doing not good the other nasc is she actually doing bad not good the nasc the apparently the other nascar drivers like hated danica they said she was like unbelievably dangerous out there like mean what no no no like they were like she's uh she is like not a very good driver they were like she like she would apparently like crash and like ruin pull up like why didn't they like why did other nascar drivers dislike danica back i think she would like wreck in a way that would like take

like 10 other people out is that a thing other yeah her aggressive driving style relative to her experience level so they would i think they were they were kind of claiming that she would uh try and pull off moves she was not equipped to pull off and it would like fuck everyone else over i don't know if this is true i don't want to say it if it's not but i think she has the record for the most like crashes cost look it up yo this is like y'all y'all are on like a dei rant this is so funny it would be really funny if a woman i'm just like what are the odds they're feeling like thousands of deaths uh yeah bro's just spreading misinformation chase elliot okay kyle oh they hate kyle bush

do you remember when we were at were you in talladega with us yes and they no i was in at talladega everyone like fucking hated kyle bush the 90 of my experience at talladega was uh like boobs you did not want to see oh new draft boobs you don't want to see uh pointy nipple stinky yeah moldy hot those are like physically got it spicy like the nipples tahin coated like a margarita yeah like a rim like ah why would you do that salt rim do you want me to salt my nipples salt my rim wait so did we figure it out yeah it was cow bush of all time or was that because that looked like it said per race and i just want to would you like to say anything else about minorities well i don't know i'm sorry to all

women for women are actually women are i think they're more women are the most thing there are on earth there's more women than men i think there's like possible i think there's like can you google are there more women than men i think it's like 51 women what percentage of the world is trans do you think 0.001 oh more they're 0.00 oh yeah wait that that was more men than women but how that adds up to more than 100 no it doesn't 50.4 plus 50.5 is no no bros it's like range bro can't read 50.4 to 50.5 got it 101 to 102 men for everyone there's 101 people in the wait so how many men will not be able to find a wife 0.4 of 8 billion yeah but i feel like that amount of men is already not gonna find a wife just for like there's a percentage of women that

won't find a husband it's not like everyone's one-to-one matched up i don't know any women that aren't married i only hang out with married women other people's wives i only hang out with other people's wives only kick it with other people you always kick it with other people's wives i was listening to tupac on the way into work today yeah yeah you were baby everyone was like this guy's awesome everyone was saying that on the way to work you're awesome you're just that guy's awesome love that tune buddy keep it up bury me a g nice wait what were you saying i was just fucking i don't know spewing nonsense did you run into him while listening to tupac no that would be pretty

crazy in front of your car that would be from that brooklyn yeah from the tribe becca different black it's my favorite tupac song i had to go to the bank first time at the bank today since i switch banks what bank are you now wells fargo oh bad choice really i have no idea my dad worked at wells fargo for a while oh good choice they said the time like if you know how that thing came out where about how toxic wells fargo was for like that 10 year chunk or whatever yeah it was like the exact time my dad was there is there a chance he was like toxic or like yeah like leading the charge on like being crazy but i took out i took out a i took out a bunch of cash because i have to bring my dad cash uh when i go to florida it's like your dowry

it's yeah it's like uh what is that called again where you like give the king like a gift for like good fortune yeah um no it was uh he does my sisters and my taxes and i owed an additional amount and it wouldn't let me like zell him whatever so I took out a big thing of cash and they put it in your safe I did put it in my safe it's in my safe until I leave tonight

I was like perfect this is exactly the scenario I was hoping for and I get to put it in like a cool little envelope and it was the scariest three minute drive of my life I was worried someone was going to pull me over at gunpoint

take all my cash do you think anyone did never i don't either do you guys have 1099s or is everything i get a 1099 i think for like like the interest on your no i get i get a 1099 is like it's like independent contractor i get i get something i have to file a different thing that's not w2 for i think like what you made on your like investment account but i that's way above my pay grade but you guys don't do freelance stuff at all i do like everything is through the company oh you do freelance i have separately he's been juggling on the boardwalk i guess yeah so i yeah i have a w2 and a 10 do you think those

guys file taxes like jugglers i would be shocked dude wait on my way into the bank this morning uh there was a guy and matt can you imagine you're on sorry you're at the bank and it's like one of those guys down on the boardwalk who's like has like 20 bucks he just gives them like eight put this in my high yield savings oh my put this in a cd i'd like eight more dollars of tesla put this in treasuries on my way into the bank there was a guy who all signs pointed towards like homeless he was like slump sitting on the stoop or the curb outside the bank drinking like a 7-11 big gulp and kind of like hunched over

just like yeah like a long night and i showed up at 8 55 bank opens at nine and so we're all kind of standing we formed a line and when it turned nine o'clock the guy who i thought was homeless looked at his watch like took his jacket off and he was wearing like a security badge and came and unlocked the door and i was like oh my god how many how many guys have i seen that i thought were homeless that were just waiting yeah you like you like slipped him a 10 and then and then once he opens he's like he gets in first yeah no he he's he goes and deposits it oh or i was saying like he thought you were like bribing him to cut the line yeah i have a curb plot about the bank that i was thinking about this morning where larry would be i can't decide

which guy he is but the issue is basically like people get to the bank before like five minutes before it opens and some people are waiting in their cars and some people have formed the line yeah and either larry is waiting in his car and gets out and as he's walking even though he's been there for 10 minutes when he's walking in someone pulls in at the last minute and beats him to the door and he's arguing that like the people who have been waiting in the parking lot even though they weren't in line to have priority or he's the guy that swoops in and beats someone and he's like your line and your space in line is not yeah maybe someone's biking up yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe maybe going to florida tonight going to florida it's a hell of a drug

who sings that taylor swift i heard a girl on tiktok saying that um travis kelsey and taylor swift are the jfk jr and carolyn bassett of our generation and if that's the case i think they're way more famous than jfk and carolyn bassett them hot take you think but globally without even if i was more i wasn't coming at it from like a who is more famous standpoint i just mean like i feel like they're not as we're not hearing as much about them and they're not necessarily as cool as jfk i think we're hearing a lot about but i think like jfk jr and carolyn beset were like some of the first like legit famous people it sounded like that were like their entire lives were documented like you knew what they were doing

like in the paper like on a day-to-day basis yeah it's not kind of what taylor swifton i mean there was an article about donna kelsey's house renovations yeah wait what was that all about like people thought it was gonna be like like a a health thing no it was just like tmz put that article out and people were like this is fucking insane she's about to undergo a massive how is this news i think taylor swift and travis kelsey are the most probably the most famous couple like ever Jojo Siwa and Dwayne Haskins probably Dwayne Haskins and Dwayne Haskins got hit by a car what oh my god yeah he did holy shit I forgot about that I bet the Mets lost like I'm gonna check

wait I might be in the dark here oh sorry Chris Hughes but I don't think that they're even in the top like 50 most famous couples of all time yeah i think taylor swift might be the most famous person that's ever existed jesus christ like muhammad in his time no but we're talking about like in their time i think a hundred percent of people knew jesus no and during his life i think it's less than 10 000 people knew oh really yeah he was just apparently he only traveled like a hundred miles yeah it was like he was just like imagine just like a of a venice beach legend and then like they everything he had thousands of years of like still there so but like let's all right let's think about this like jfk one and marilyn monroe or jackie kennedy are probably

more famous the most famous couple of all time because you gotta if we're fracturing in like the globe i don't think it's even close taylor swift did like eight nights in singapore okay i i have one i have like a real one okay david beckham and victoria beckham they they allegedly went around the world trying to find someone who hadn't heard of david beckham and the first guy they could get who was like i don't know who that is was a uh sheep farmer in chab i mean that feels like anecdotal like who how do you know like who they were going to it was in the paper i think taylor shift is way more famous than david beckham ever was yes yes but david beckham victoria beckham was like maybe a quarter as famous as taylor swift

when she was in the spice girls and david beckham was the most famous man on the planet victoria beckham was one hundredth of as famous as taylor swift when she that's fair i think we underestimate i'm not but outside of the u.s outside of the u.s no one really knows who travis kelsey is so like as a couple if we're thinking cumulative star power i think hers outweighs but she's carrying 99 of the weight in that stardom relationship i don't know about 90 i don't know i don't know he also has like the one of the biggest podcast like in the u.s which is a lot of people he's massive yes one i'm just saying i'm saying globally i think there were people like we can get cleopatra and napoleon wait no cleopatra and mark anthony no who was

the fucking who was oh and julius caesar apparently we're like is that this guy someone she would they would like sneak her out in rugs he'd like rolled up in a rug so that he could like bang her and then they bring her back was it mark anthony or who's mark anthony i think mark anthony plays for the grizzlies i think you're thinking of marcus saul yeah whose political allegiance and passionate love affair with cleopatra of egypt led to a fatal conflict with octavian okay so they're not even in because i don't even know who that fucking bozo is i didn't mean that i don't know no no i just mean okay no one from the past is even an option because the internet has allowed our breadth of knowledge to be so much bigger charlie d'amelio and little like i even the jfk thing just purely

because the internet i think it has to be taylor swift but more people know that jfk was with jackie o then people know that taylor swift is with travis kelsey absolutely not because everyone who's alive right now knows that that's on the earth probably no i bet you no one knows that if you're i guess i'm we need to think of a global person i don't think there's anyone google most famous couple of all time and i know this is subjective but i'm saying it's great it's like the more modern the more fame anthony and cleopatra i was right i was fucking right well i might just because you just googled it that's fair that's fair okay okay queen elizabeth and prince philip everyone knew

everyone in the world knew i still think the taylor show was bigger because just because the internet like okay keep adam and eve can we settle on adam and no there was they were no that was the least known couple romeo and juliet that's pretty good if we're talking about like in the moment how many people were aware of their relationship yeah i don't think there's any correct okay so look you were under celebrity like modern victoria beckham and david beckham you were right they're listed below yeah uh what about also elizabeth taylor and roger richard burton elizabeth taylor and i only know about elizabeth taylor because of a taylor swift song jerry seinfeld and that high school shoshana oh my god newman and joan woodward

paul newman and that one actually has a case paul newman and caesar mustard and ketchup okay most famous duos of all time three beers and a nice couch i yeah that's fantastic i passed a guy who was face down and I forgot that I was with Flan and not you and I said me after three quarters lights and Flan scolded me for like 30 minutes. Why? Because it was like a homeless guy who was clearly

going through something and I made light of the situation. I thought you meant because like you should have said Friday beers. Brand length. Our entire retirement is in that. Brand consistency. I've just been still investing. All of my money just invests in Friday beers. If you guys aren't buying the beer

at your local bar you are going to hell my god i'm fucked i started a budget today i'm officially what's that mean i uh what's a budget no i mean like like what no like do you have an app i got an app i got an app uh rocket money no it is i don't know how people feel about this guy i've been digging the clips you know dave ramsey is that the guy who's like he just yells at everyone they're like i have 150 dollars in credit card debt and he's like kill yourself you're literally you're useless but i think i think i need a little kick in the ass sometimes yeah because you what did you buy this saturday you keep alluding to that you spent like an unbelievable amount of money i buy this saturday oh i bought um this actually this crew neck was one of it but this

seems this is a pretty modest purchase but that's a nice it was thank you it was a lot of trying to give your whole crew neck come on man uh it was a lot of clothes i got oh i could use some crew neck another belt you know that belt i have that has like all the things i like yeah i got another one of those but it's in it's in khaki khaki i'm pretty pretty pretty stoked about it um and then i bought a suitcase and it's just like it's just stupid i took a class from him one time dave ramsay at texas a&m oh he came into your school no but he had like these like modules yeah just like watch the videos and take tests how come high school don't teach us about taxes yours actually did ours actually did i actually learned how to file my day ramsay was the first guy to

but i don't i feel like maybe there's a little bit of like people thinking he might be out of touch well the problem is he doesn't believe in credit cards apparently brother with the way i use them i'm starting to not believe in them either you have to have credit though totally but i person i have just halted all the only thing that goes on it is like automated like subscriptions and yeah i will i would like to give you credit i think that's the third time now but i the charm you mean i it basically the there seems to be basically it's so it's connected to my bank account and now whenever there's a transaction i have to like drag it into a category be like that was a restaurant that was whatever and it will kind of like give me a gauge

of if i'm staying within my butt like i've allocated the a certain amount where do you put suitcase suitcase i think would i would imagine goes under miscellaneous could be a restaurant depends what you're putting in there i get an email stop putting that in rest stop putting everything in restaurant why are you like cheating you're like cheating yourself but so there's one kind of major flaw with the app major flaw that i've noticed so far which is like it seems like the clientele are people that are trying to get out of debt right so i don't have any debt and so the like tips like there's a tips yeah column and when you wait is the app like dave ramsey's

own app yeah it's called like it's called uh every dollar okay but like when i opened it it was like Ram it said like Ramsey on the thing so I was like oh it's his but the Gordon Ramsey one right it is not it's like that one you can put anything in restaurant fry souffle your money so stupid

it's like you put like suitcase in gray sweater and it's like I don't think that would taste very good melt it into a stew try some paprika maybe but so the problem the problem is there's like there's like a modules and like a tips thing we're like i'm gonna try and just become a little bit more financially literate by like taking these like

small lessons every day right and but they're all kind of at least the first couple are like really debt centric so the first thing was like uh no eating out until you're debt free or whatever like it like was like kind of like attacking me and it was like you shouldn't see the inside of a restaurant unless you're working there at a part-time job and i was like i wrote down that i have no so there's clearly no like tailor making but i'm assuming we'll kind of get through that but um yeah that's kind of where i'm at there's like a young dave ramsey now i don't know if you've seen him on tiktok but he lives in austin and he basically does the same thing is he the guy where like people people come in though people come in is he for lack of a better word like a

slightly bigger gentleman so that's what i was gonna get he seems like a fucking asshole well so have you seen those uh two guys that have been like interviewing everyone about their finances i like those guys well they they went on his show and they were like why are you fat and i was like jesus christ like is this like the kind of interviews that they're doing they said why are you fat yeah they start like auditing his and he's like it's only from a financial perspective though they're like you cannot be fat until you're dead i was like how did you get into this but he was like uh well i've lost like 20 pounds but like i'm still working so mean i yeah i was i wasn't i was i wasn't attacking him on his weight i was more just like that's the only thing i know

about him yeah i will say it seems like he and i've only seen the clips so i'm not looking at this through a full perspective but it doesn't seem like he's as knowledgeable as some of the other guys like it he seems like he's doing it for like he for engagement where he brings on people who are in bad situations just so he can like rip on them. I've never seen this guy. It is like rage bait. Can you pull him up? Like it'll be people being like I make a million dollars a year

or I make $20,000 a year and I'm a million dollars in debt and he just calls them like the R word for 20 minutes. Did you know Dave Ramsey? I don't know anything about Dave Ramsey. You never heard of Dave Ramsey? I've heard of him. The best

the most powerful wealth building tool is your income. No the most powerful wealth building tool is time time in the market allowing it to compound i mean i'm not retiring right now so i'm not worried no this is time you know what i mean like he's just like a little yeah yeah also value of money i've been leaning into that lately because i've just requested scott for the last four months of utilities combined yep and he was like what the hell and i was like i was doing you a favor you were you were growing interest i gave yeah i gave you a chance for that to yeah you know well now that money's worth less so that's what

i mean yeah right a lot of money that's what i'm saying yeah inflation i uh trickle down economics ty will do that where like i won't have paid a utility in like six months yeah and then him and z will both just like twin telepathy be like oh fuck i need to request for everything it'll just be like a barrage of like 195 and then i always say if you don't pay right this second i'm gonna kill you i pay it either instantly or i open the app go do something else and i don't realize until the next time because they're both too polite to be like i'll hit the remind button yeah z does on the electricity one it's like always like two lightning bolts so that kind of is like that's fun i do like that yeah so that kind of gets me

through um but yeah you know i'm just trying to um just trying to take a little bit of responsibility for my finances i feel like it's a bad habit for me personally to not have a budget because i am uh i want brick for drinking where with a second alcohol enters my bloodstream my phone becomes like one of those like butterfly phones from diver wimpy kid where i can only call my mom flan and 9-1-1 or you get uh i forgot about that his mom gets in one of those ladybug phone lady yeah yeah or or it's like a thing like a guy with duis has where you have to like blow into a breathalyzer to get yeah yeah did you know anyone that um had one of those in their car no you yeah like it was someone's parent oh um i've seen videos online where people

will like fill up a balloon with like a gas pump or like a bike pump a gas pump and then 89 yeah the the breathalyzer thing is like doesn't even know what's going on it's like you could start a car uh and they like then put the balloon around the breath and let it go and so it thinks it's like a breath of fresh air and then i'm like if you're doing if you're going to those lengths to drunk drive that's the shit tiger woods would be coming up with i have a good uh i have a good tiger woods uh thing for our draft today oh really yeah did you hear he got injured fell off the ball washer really i think he rolled his car actually yeah he took he was on oxy yeah that would be like

we think you're gonna go ball washer like do you hear tiger woods got injured like yeah he fell off the ball washer it's like no no he took pills and drove dude oh my god that is so scary that's why like i never want to get like back surgery even though like everyone's been begging me to wait because is he addicted to those pain meds still yeah he's off that pill pill pill yeah my mom wouldn't let me have the uh doxies for my wisdom teeth my dad made me take all of them at once he said this is gonna be awesome oh you think vicodin's cool take the whole bottle in front of me it's like the cigarette thing wait what is the cigarette thing like back in the day if like parents caught like a 19 they're 1950s teen smoking yeah like you think smoking cigarettes

is cool why don't you smoke the whole carton and so that they would have such a horrible time smoking they would never want to do it again oh it's like washing your mouth with soap so you never lick soap again yes yes exactly have you noticed the soap thing that's happening with our with the faucets at this office no have you do you know what i'm talking about what does that next time you go to wash your hands look at the uh faucet when you know when you pump soap in your hand a string kind of follows your hands that's still connected to the bottle sometimes people are just bringing their hands directly over all the faucets so like that one in particular it looks like someone just like like drizzled soap in like a yeah donut donutty shape all over the

thing don't bring eye contact do you think if you did if you that's disgusting pretended to jack off for long enough you could come like like pavlov dogged yourself you could pavlov balls jack off's gun yourself it's jack off's gun you know like in a movie if there's like a gun in a movie like it's gonna be used yeah yeah yeah if you see someone's if you see someone jacking off if you see someone pretending to jack off they're gonna they're setting up a plot point for later where they will will jack yeah can i go to the bathroom please cool i have to be as well oh i don't have to right now i was just making sure i could go in when you go in this bathroom let me know that's a fucking it's really funny

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shipping and a free rechargeable frother when you use code playdate that's right up to 43 with code playdate at mudwtr.com after your purchase they'll ask you how you found them please support our show and let them know we sent you let's get back into the episode what are you up in arms i'm up in arms about the soap thing about the mets you can't let this this is it's so brutal to watch when you let it take hold of you like this they just lost in like a horrible way i know so what i need you to do is take that feeling push it down into a place that kind of it can sit there for a couple hours and then when you get home scream at lauren that's what everyone else does so every other working american does we walk around and we pretend that everything's fine and then we go

home we scream at dog or girlfriend i know get a dog get up okay first step get a lawn second get a long chain long lawn with dog get a long dog with a long you can put your dog on when you go to work and leave it outside so that he has to sit there and think about why i'm gonna get a dog and make him watch the mets every day and see if he turns into like a cat or just runs away i bet he would i bet if you got a dog and chained him to the couch and made him watch every day he would learn how to eat through chain you could breed like a super dog i guarantee it if you got never been more sure of something i've never been more confident if you took a dog and you chained him to a chair and you put them every game of this meth season on

he would make it through three beau bichette at-bats and have developed fangs that can cut metal it's like science i could change science forever right right right you know i used to get uh used to get high and watch that evolution life on our planet about it was like every kind of stage of the of the earth and you'd watch things like evolve and here's my main hang-up i'm all in on evolution yeah i believe it's real okay not liking how this starts i don't get how the fish like you know that they're like eventually a fish like got the courage to like leave the water and that's how we got like amphibians where they like became land animals too how did they breathe at the beginning that part has never

made any sense to me yeah come up for a little bit and then go back in and kind of build some sort of oxygen tolerance yeah it's bizarre to me it doesn't make any i mean yeah i mean i obviously believe in it but it is really hard to wrap your mind around but i think it's just impossible to wrap your mind around that much time yeah like could you imagine even just a thousand years i've done almost 25 and it feels like an eternity i'm almost good almost sufficient i uh i want you guys to know speaking of believing in things i'm back in on the moon landing back in you think it happened i saw project hell mary and you're like oh yeah yeah obviously no i saw this guy who it this was a video for dumber guys like it was

it was for to send to your friend who doesn't believe in the moon landing okay yeah and it sealed it for me there was one uh when they were on the moon they dropped uh i believe a hammer and a feather you know how like in a vacuum they'll drop it the same yeah thing and it worked and i was like so enough didn't even watch the rest of the video there was also one you know like people were like the the with there's no moisture on the moon so how could it have like made a footprint which never really made any sense to me regardless but it turns out moon sand is it binds to itself and so they it can still leave a footprint without any uh moisture wow but i want you to know day by day i'm conforming good before you know it i'm gonna be full sheep almost functioning

yeah sheep yeah i'm gonna go sheepo mode young laflame going sheepo mode i think my life i'm get a lot easier if i just was if i was just like yeah fine whatever i don't know if i'm gonna be honest i don't know if it could get any easier it's it's pretty solid right now it's there are there are times where i wake up with a smile on my face like oh this is a hilarious hand to be dealt yeah there are days when i wake up drenched in pee originally my friend used to pee the he used to pee our like other friends couch like almost every night oh it was like and they were just like that's a thing that happens like no one was mad it was just like believe his name so and so peed the bed we'll strip it we'll put it in the wash

we can watch football by what happens if it's the couch though they would just strip the or sorry they'd stripped the cushions you could take off the cushion covers but yeah i mean did it take some did the cushions take some take some they took a fall damage they took a beating they took a fucking beating and then i had that couch when they graduated it was awesome it was deep enough that when you were sitting on it your feet were out like this deep like like uh instead of being from butt to kneecap it was butt to like heel so if you were sitting with your yeah it was a deep deep couch that's kind of great it was awesome when harper and peter went abroad and i was alone in my house i slept on it every night i was scared of my bedroom i think you mentioned that yeah why

it was one it was a couple it was like two steps lower than the rest of the house i think it used to maybe be a garage or something okay and something about it being there and maybe more exposed to that because my there were a lot of windows so when it was dark out like everyone could maybe see me if my blinds weren't closed and everyone in the back any creatures in the backyard could see me and i was just a little more secluded on the couch fun fact about the couch the window behind it you know how there are hurricanes in florida hurricane proof windows like most florida windows and uh and my friend the day the hurricane was like rolling into town was sitting on the like back of the couch kind of like up and slipped back and his ass just went

through the window and broke our window the day the hurricane was coming and we were like this is the the only thing that could have gone wrong is ass through window what'd you do i think we trash bagged it made him just sit there he just had to hold the line it's the only thing that can fit that gap yeah don't move it's like leave the knife in yeah oh man did you guys do hurricane parties yes dude that sounds awesome there was a kid from your hometown named goober he was one of my favorite kids dallas yeah and he uh he he was in the dorms and they evacuate the dorms during hurricanes so you have to go home or i think they put you in a hotel and he uh why i don't i just don't i think it's like a liability thing maybe or like the rollins buildings or for whatever

reason he was like get out evacuate campus so if your parents didn't live in town or you didn't have an off-campus house you like we're supposed to go home and he slept on our friend's couch at like the the house that the kind of 11 day hurricane party was happening at and he got such little sleep because people were just constantly in the living room and like was getting very anxious and just went once the hurricane was done he just went home for a week like school had resumed and he was just like i have to get out can't do it i loved hurricane parties you guys would like make hurricane drinks right and then no we were kind of like a we were like a what is hurricane music like rock me like a hurricane you know like songs that mention

rock me like that's what's that a song right isn't it yeah yeah that's what sent goober into psychosis is just 11 days of because the also the rollins um like power grid or whatever like you know our our infrastructure on campus was so outdated that like my senior year got knocked out for like like the hurricane was only maybe like an afternoon that it was kind of in orlando yeah but the power was out for so long that i think we had 11 days off school jesus yeah did you hear about the scarecrow that won an award hit me he was outstanding in his field yes come on man

do another scarecrow joke how does a scarecrow drink his drink through a straw okay um should we do how do you scare a scarecrow how crow okay should we do it it's just all fucking afternoon Should we do

Some playmate submitted stuff There's some good confessions Confession me I want a confession I want to be better I want to love girls What the heck is that song Wait I have something funny

I wish I loved girls My buddy Ben is visiting He brought metal glasses Those things are fucking insane you go you're wearing them and you go metal what am i looking at it was like boobs no so i go metal what am i looking at it's like you're in a cozy room watching baseball with a group of friends everyone's like the yankees are beating the mariners five to zero like it read the score on the screen i was looking at and then and it was like looks like a great place to watch ball

i was like that's crazy and then we it's saying it out loud so everyone can know in your ear it has like built-in like cochlear like yeah weird and so then i got a little too curious and i pulled up uh i googled gay porn and i went to images and then i said hey metal what am i looking at and it just goes after that whole thing about like cozy living room bubble it just goes you were looking at adult images yeah have you seen uh would it be an ally i saw a video of clavicular yeah and some love that guy what you love that guy i don't love him at all i think he said some things that are i know he said some things that are like not a good guy really really bad i cannot look away it is and i is it is so entertaining for some reason if i see whatever

but there's a there's a video sorry i didn't mean to do that at you there was a guy who was like giving him shit on the street in meta glasses and he just pulled up like an isis flag and showed it to the meta thing because apparently facebook like just deactivates your account if it thinks you're looking at like terrorist stuff did it work i don't know i didn't i don't know i should try that to ben whoa ben was like yeah he's gonna get oh i got one more thing before we get into confessionals hit me you predicted something jerry jones died no this year you predicted something that ended up coming true you know how i've been doing the at the our local coffee shop i get a medium black coffee half light

roast half dark roast yeah i ordered it again today and i'm talking to the cashier and then one of the baristas who's like doing something else he's like 10 feet away he has his back turned to me like goes like what is going on he didn't say like that it was like friendly but he was like what is this like do like everyone is coming in ordering half light roast half dark roast and i he was like do you work over here or something and i was like yeah that is awesome like i've been telling everyone like about this and how good it is like i'm so glad it's calling apparently like i think i've only really told like five people to get it i think i have like a small army of people who are ordering this like kind of pointless drink it's a medium roast

it was just so funny like he he wasn't part of the transaction and he had to be like what is this that's awesome that's a good brit that's a good bit we should do we should do an april this prank like on them you have like 30 guys everyone goes in and orders like just oh a piece of they keep calling it java every single person i was like just do a cup of java everyone's black this is so this is everyone's calling it that would be so funny if you were a barista and you're like what is happening everyone is everyone's teleported back to like the early 2000s yeah that's all done can i get a hot cup of java well just some java would be great

what we we had a jack group chat in college it was all people just named jack okay group me and they had their first you in it i wasn't in it but i had friends named jack got it and uh their first meetup was at a starbucks and they all like ordered with their name jack and so they'd be like latte for jack and they would all cheer every single time they said jack and then they would add like people who like their name was jack but they like spelled it weird and then they would make fun of them and then kick them out of the shop uber for shock yeah yeah exactly you know about my 9-11 group chat that all the people that are like born on 9-11 yeah was connor wood in it is he born on 9-11 yeah no i don't know well no there was like a viral tweet

years ago that was like something about 9-11 birthday and then someone in the comment was like i'm making a group meet and i'm still in this group meeting every year on 9-11 everyone's like happy birthday it's like hundreds of people that's awesome i'm in like three andrew nelson group chats really yeah yeah on instagram people would just add me and we'll just be like hey guys that's beautiful all right should we do it yeah all right hey i'm isaac and i'm currently a freshman at the university of florida go gators and this has been on my mind a lot lately basically last year during my senior year when college admissions decisions were coming out i applied to university of florida when decisions were released almost all my friends got in except for

me i was really embarrassed so i lied and i said i was waitlisted after that i did everything in my power to get back in i applied to their online program and even appealed my decision i basically wrote them a follow-up letter asking them to reconsider my application and explained that i had a really rough high school experience i was honestly just begging for them to give me another chance somehow they actually accepted my appeal and let me in whoa by the time they did it was already well into the summer and i committed to another college so i told my friends that i decided not to go to the university of florida and then i said i made a last minute decision to go to the same college as everyone else now i feel like a fraud every day because all my friends are

really smart and definitely deserve to get in i never told anyone that i was actually rejected at first and basically begged my way into college hang on you didn't beg your way into college you got into the university of florida fucking you're there just like they're there i actually think that's a cooler way yeah you wanted it you you convinced a college you grinded rejected you to let you in yeah i there that that trait not to i know this is like a funny funny pod but on a serious note that trait of persistence will will get you very far totally that is that is i like that bad i'd rather i'd rather i would be proud of that fact like you know you you here's what you do when you're out one night be like do you guys want to know a secret and tell them that story

if anyone doesn't think that that's cool they're wrong that is that is that's cooler than getting it i agree i getting in initially you did get in you didn't beg your way into school can i tell you something yeah i've actually not really taught i don't even know if i said on the pod i initially didn't get into bc and i i threatened the dean at gunpoint and because my parents were gonna like kick me out of the house and hit me if i did so i mean do what you have to do right i think honestly you should take all your friends to trivia night and then you tell them tell them that you're at trivia night that you don't actually have your master's degree that's a good but only after you've won trivia because you were fed all the answers yes yep yep all right

forgive me father for i have sinned i was golfing with my uncle and i asked him to stand on the ball washer for a funny picture and he fell off it and got seriously injured oh god eternal hell deepest ring of hell yeah it's just not funny so do you know how many people have gotten hurt from that oh my uncle his uncle yeah your uncle has been hurt a bunch from that my uncle's balls stayed on the ball washer they ripped clean off oh no all right next all right forgive me father for i've sinned in middle school a classmate told everybody another kid turned around at the urinal and showed his penis and that it looked like a shrimp the story blew up wait wait wait say that again slower this time for me in middle school a classmate told everyone

another kid turned around at the urinal and showed his penis and that it looked like a shrimp okay the story blew up and shrimp ended up becoming a very common nickname of the kid until he moved halfway through high school i was in the bathroom at the same time the shrimp incident allegedly happened and knew the story was made up but i said nothing to defend the kid hell uh listen middle school is a vicious place and you need to just do what you gotta do to survive if if not him it was going to be someone else and thankfully he moved i knew a kid i knew many kids actually uh that would pull their pants all the way down like to pee in middle school and then everyone kind of grew out of that and then when i was in college i was at porch which was like our kind

of main bar yeah and there was a grown like a kid at our school like an adult peeing at the bar with his pants around his ankles not joking not trying to make anyone laugh if he was he did a very good job of pretending like it was completely normal this is the funniest thing i've ever seen it seems like the man yeah he was a fucking killer forgive me father for i have sinned back in high school i had a job and shared an office sometimes with a friend from school to preface we were really good friends at the time but didn't keep in touch after high school one day she left her phone on my desk and went to go work on something in another part of the building so i decided to try breaking into her phone and sure enough her passcode was her birthday as rusty would say you

know my horny ass couldn't be trusted and i ended up finding a bunch of her nudes i didn't send any to myself or anything like that and i also think i was punished because there were a lot of graphic pictures of her boyfriend's dick that i was forced to see as well and you weren't forced you broke into her phone forced to see his old bum and could never look at him the same again i just browsed and admired her photos and she never found out that i did it i never did it again because the guilt ate me alive i still feel awful that i did that am i going to hell you might be going to hell that's pretty bad but i like that i think you might be going to purgatory because god made you see all those wieners too yeah but you were also presented with an opportunity to commit a sex

crime and you with you withheld you were restrained i will say if you took a mental screenshot and you clothes dries and thought about them later hell hell yeah you but also that also that is that a crime are you a boy or a girl if girl girl if it's a girl heaven if it's guy hell hell yeah gotta girl gotta be a guy hell it's like a clothing girl heaven guy hell girl heaven and guy hell are the same place ready for ready for like a women be shopping aritzia joke it's aritzia and then boy hell is the couch the couch where you sit with all the other fucking boyfriends all right should we do also by the way since a lot of you guys didn't get it the drafts were bad on purpose on april fool's day as a prank yes they didn't make sense on purpose it was a prank

we did okay should we do family guy cutaways or romantic comedies family guy these are more family guy cutaways that don't exist peter goes i feel useless like tiger woods is chauffeur and it's a chauffeur calling tiger and asking if he needs to go anywhere and tiger goes no i think i'm just gonna hang around the house today pretty mellow day he hangs up and then he turns the radio on and it's like tiger woods involved in another fatal or tiger woods involved in another serious car accident he just goes yep uh peter says this smells worse than when you left those leftovers in the car lois and it's lois uh leaves behind leftovers in the car and then close the door and before peter gets out he just rips like a 10 second nasty fart and then he gets out and says

lois your leftovers and she goes back and she's like oh we don't talk about that like pythagoras is other theorem and then it's pythagoras sitting with all the other philosophers and he's explaining jelking to them that's good i like joking things peter says things aren't always which things aren't always what you expect like those guys who found the first cave paintings it's the guys getting a cave they're like and then all the paintings are just of cavemen like pooping on them and tearing their limbs apart and they turn around and there's two cavemen standing there i like that uh he goes this is easier than writing a country song and it's a cowboy sitting in a doctor's office and the doctor says your dog passed away and

then his girlfriend says i'm leaving you and then the mechanic says and your truck broke and your truck broke down and the cowboy says perfect love it uh it feels like you didn't love it i did i'm gonna be honest i was reading mine for the beginning i missed the setup can you tell me the beginning it was it was uh he says this is easier than writing a country song oh and then all the stuff that's actually awesome and he goes perfect that is actually really good i'm sorry sometimes it's better to just be honest remember when i got pulled over and it's the cop saying sir did you run this red light and peter goes your breath smells horrible you should brush your teeth all right should we do rom-coms that don't exist yeah these are more romantic comedies that don't

exist swinging for the fences it's about two couples on the same rec league softball team that fall in love with each other and they start swinging together love it the queen's guard yep when the queen of england gets pregnant everyone thinks that of course it is with the uh the king and that they're gonna have a new heir and then when he's born his hair is like one of those perfect uh spheres or like cylinders of hair and so everyone realizes it's the king's guard and they have to uh like constantly be cutting his hair to make him look like a normal guy i love it uh broken hearted it's about a woman who falls in love with the tech repair guy so she keeps uh getting viruses on her phone and her computer so she can keep having a reason to

bring it back but to get the viruses she has to watch like horrible dirty porn of course uh struck by love when a man is struck by lightning he wakes up irresistible to women everyone who sees him wants him and he starts hooking up with lots of women the girl who he has been chasing his whole life is finally in love with him but he knows it's not real so in an effort to win her love for real he tries to get struck by lightning again to reverse the curse and win her love in real life it's like holding baseball bats up and metal bats yeah it's all the keys on kites and yeah ben franklin tender greens this is about what nothing sorry you're just eating it it's always funny when you can tell where someone needed one more and i was eating tender greens

and i said this is perfect tender greens is about a man who works at a tender greens who falls in love with one of the uh daily like regular with one of the regular customers but the only way to win her over is to give her free tender greens and tender greens corporate starts cracking down on waste and so he has to start masking all he can only he has to take out like a little bit of steak every hour to accumulate enough for her bowl every day love it yeah like like every time someone orders he like takes ingredients from their bowl yes to make like another bowl exactly broken heart when a man breaks his leg he goes to the hospital and the doctor putting his cast on is beautiful he asks her out and she says she can't date him until his leg heals because he's

a patient when he goes in to get the cast off she agrees to go on a date with him they are together for months but when he messes up she breaks up with him so the only way to see her again is to recreate the accident and break his leg again so that he can go in and have her put the cast back on and win her love again kind of beautiful thank you uh thank you guys for watching playdate our next episode is our 200th no uh no our next episode is our 199th yes today's our connor episode love you guys peace