Will & Rusty's Playdate - If Fish Liked Beer

Episode Date: May 1, 2024

The gang talks scooter wipeouts, Will’s epic kegger, and mastering the art of phone conversations with women. Will Angus joins to brainstorm things that need better names. Per usual, they hear pitches from the playmates, as well as one of the best AITA phone calls to date, which involves a sorority scandal. The boys then teach each other facts about WWII, Canadian football, and the Best Guys Ever. Finally, they draft more country songs and slang words that don’t exist. Jam-packed episode. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/PLAYDATE TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL. VISIT www.withyotta.com/PLAYDATE TO DOWNLOAD AND START PLAYING. USE PROMO CODE PLAYDATE TO GET A FREE BONUS TODAY! (00:00) Intro (00:45) Scooter Injuries (08:13) Will’s Epic Kegger (15:05) Roadmap (18:06) Golf (22:20) Hawaii (26:31) Things That Should Have Better Names (37:37) Pitch Submissions (41:02) Pitches (46:13) Calling Chicks (49:52) AITA (57:32) Sorority Disaster (01:13:11) Teach Me Something! (01:16:36) The Best Guys Ever (01:24:10) Country Songs that Don’t Exist (01:33:27) Slang Words that Don’t Exist (01:37:46) Whose Personality are you Stealing? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As always, Playdate is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer. Redefining the party landscape. You're too sweet for me. What's up, Will? What, are we doing our episode? Why? Oh, fuck, you want a fucking podcast? Hang on, hang on, I'm looking at something. Alright.

What are we looking at? Nothing. Justin Verlander episode. what were you looking at just out of curiosity number 35 there's like no cool ones kevin rat yeah no he stinks do you see he got dunked on last night he got out of the way yeah well he yeah he got out of the way he anyway welcome back played it episode 35 it's gonna be a good one all right elephant in the room yeah i got a black eye oh that wasn't what i thought the elephant in the room now i'm curious what your elephant is i'll tell you later i fell off a scooter coming

home from work on thursday i absolutely ate shit uh a few blocks from my house and suffered some some lesions uh i got a little cut on my arm what is a lesion i don't know but i got this badass black guy dude it looks sick everyone stopped me left and right and being like i've noticed a lot less people are fucking with you no one's fucked with me yeah and usually people fuck with me no one's fucked with me in a while usually like on mondays you come in and People were, like, giving you, like, atomic wedgies and... Yep. I walked into the meeting this...

We had a meeting this morning. I put my legs right up on the desk. Yeah. Took a sip of my coffee, spit it out on the guy next to me, and everyone got up and cheered. You got, like, third-degree burns. Yeah. So hot. Everyone cheered.

It was sick. So I'm tough now. I'm badass, as if you didn't already know that. There were... I heard reports from pedestrians that said you went ass over tea kettle. Yeah, I did. It did. It was really bad.

it was a it was i got the front tire just fucking lodged in like a piece of that whole strip of road you know speedway yeah just like a no man's land like i don't think the city knows about it so they've never had to fix the pavement yeah it's like a micro nation yeah it's not under lawlessness did i ever tell you actually it might have been you that found me i was like coming home from the bar and i was walking down that street a couple years ago yeah and uh i had like a weird like i don't know if it was like an ocd thing because i'm not ocd at all but for some reason i didn't want to step on any of the cracks which is hard to do there i was trapped in the middle like i made it i made it like halfway there and then i think like angus or chet saw me found you stuck

in between all the crap they were like what are you doing i'm trying not to step on any of these cracks your mom's like begging for a life yeah her would break her back did you ever uh did you ever get in an argument with your mom while on a walk and just be like step on it maybe i don't know yeah i don't know um yeah but anyway so that was epic and then we had a killer barbecue on saturday yeah i hosted a barbecue people were saying it was one for the ages yeah lauren was there it was kind of there it's kind of a who's who of the office it was a who's who of the office and of, like, some of my other friends that seemed like everyone got along, everyone was happy.

It was definitely a who's who of Will's friends. Yeah, it was a who's who of my friends. Yeah. Yeah. I was telling... I think I was telling you this earlier. I was telling somebody, but, Lauren, do you know, like, the little, like, bikes?

Like, it's not a lime scooter. It's, like, a sit-down bike. Yeah. Yeah, it's, like, wheels or something. Wheels, yeah. They have them on the streets? Yeah, yeah. I was, like, little bikes.

Yeah, yeah. It's, like, a compact bike. and i was riding one of them a couple of summers ago and uh right on the boardwalk you know like teddy's red tacos is i was like flying down i think also speedway yeah yeah probably flying down speedway they also need to rename that because yeah they called speedway and we both fucking ate shit makes it seem like you can go a lot faster than you can i hit a patch of sand and it was like when it was like the middle of tourist season yeah so many people just like on the boardwalk i went like over the handlebars and like skipped through this intersection like i

think i bounced like once or twice and like kind of like came to a stop and then i had to like i was like completely unharmed so i had to like just get up with my tail between my legs and like walk the bike to teddy's red tacos and then park it it's humiliating i just i walked home i was like i'm not fucking touching that thing dude they're dangerous um they're too dangerous yeah honestly that is like a so that was the thing at at my killer home run barbecue yeah um i was telling a lot well i had this black eye and a lot of people like oh my god so i was telling a lot of people this story like every other person either it happened to them or someone they know like those bird scooters are fucking insane and liam was saying he went to the hospital i forget if

it was like related to bird scooter or something else but he was talking to like a guy in the er the guy was like yeah he was like what's the number one thing you get like car accidents or something i was like no by far number one thing we get in here is fucking people eating shit on bird scooters it's like the number one cause of injury in america right now and no one talks about it yeah so i'm a i'm a i'm i was so naive my mom used to always warn me about him and i always didn't care and now i'm yeah you're a victim i'm a victim and i'm putting my hand up and saying i was wrong i'm not fucking riding one of those things again have you ever seen those like seatbelt campaigns where it'll be like there was one where they it was all these like giant

buff dudes on the like new zealand rugby team but they had these like giant they had these like giant like scars on their chest from the seatbelt like saving them so it was like this is this is a lot better than like what could have happened it'd be funny if there was like an anti-bird campaign it was just all guys with like minor black eyes these things fucking suck dude i mean it's like you're what once you fall you're like holy shit i was going 20 miles an hour yeah i guess it's so it's like i was whipping it because i always crank it full speed yeah you were also you're in the minority of people who are like sober coming home from work like yeah it has to be the most used transport like coming home from the bar i know it's dangerous which i i would

yeah i'd be lying if i said i haven't done that which is terrifying to think about too chester and i took a lime home we took one lime home together yeah like a year ago from a house party and uh wait oh you guys were on the same one we could only find we could only find one like there just like weren't any in this area and we like kind of tracked one down like a half a mile like i guess it would have made more sense to just like start walking but we got on the same one and they like barely have enough power for one guy going up a hill yeah and we just got to that hill on Westminster and it was just like

like impossible to keep your balance because we were going it felt like we were going negative oh I know exactly you were uphill yeah

and you can like hear this is like by the way this is like the craziest hill I've ever seen out of nowhere yeah yeah

and you fell no it just took us we should have just gotten off and walked it but it was like a five minute like yeah

so be safe out there guys yeah lauren did you have a killer weekend i did what was the highlight the barbecue obviously um and then i also had a rover dog as you guys know i put a picture i'll put a picture of him his name was kobe kobe kobe um yeah he was great he was my little buddy and i was so i got home from the killer barbecue and i was considering kb from the kb i was considering going out and getting a drink with some other friends why you're already so shit-faced at the barbecue yeah honestly lauren like it was like if she was throwing up yeah i was in the garden dude my landlord came she like she was like dancing people you were out of you were out of control

i mean it was like whatever like my kb but like i had two beers and one na beer that was my first where'd you track down an na beer it was in the fridge i we were we were each having yeah Athletic bees? Yeah, I was a little scared after hitting my head, so I was on the NA beer and triple grind. But no, I just went home, and then I was going to go out, and the dog was being too cute, so I just stayed in and cuddled with him. Yeah. That was my weekend.

That's nice. Is that the first kegger you've ever been at, Will? Yeah, well, that was the other funny thing, is we ordered a keg, and then I was like, I can't. I can't drink. I'm scared I might have something wrong with my dome piece. so i just bought a keg for everyone else yeah and then i've been about you and then we well we didn't even tell like we didn't ask anybody about us and we also didn't tell anyone that

we had we're getting a keg so everyone showed up with alcohol so we ended up the keg is like half full in my yard well you should have put that on the on the floor oh i know i know but we decided after we had sent the flyer out but i anyway it was really stupid on a lot of parts because i paid for a keg well me and chester splitting it but it was it's still half full in my yard the kegs have full yeah you're a keg i'm a keg guy but also we had like a hundred beers left because everyone that brought beer then saw there was a keg and just and then just left a bit there's like a bottle of champagne there's a full bottle of vodka in our freezer someone brought and left a bottle of vodka someone thought it was a way different vibe yeah i don't know there is

we have so much alcohol that i don't know what to do with yeah and i would rather have just not have all this extra alcohol and not paid for the keg but i guess it's too late so how much how much are kegs it was like three grand yeah i pranked you i pranked you it was 200 bucks okay so i spent a hundred bucks okay and then they like but then they yeah they put they charge you all these fees that i don't get it's like so when you bring they have to like they incentivize you to bring the keg back so it's like we'll get a couple i spent like 300 but once i bring it back i'll get like a hundred something back i don't know i don't think it was the best financial decision i've ever made that being said there is like a certain like

you show up and you see the keg and it's like yeah that's fun it was sick that's fun and the funniest part too is that me and chester were like yeah we're gonna get we're gonna get we get we rusty and i picked up the keg dropped it off he had gone home so me and chester were like it was about to start people are gonna start coming over and we just were like i don't know how to put the tap on it neither of us have ever we're both like what you're gonna like i was like you're in a frat in college you never did this he was like yeah i mean other guys did it he was like You had parties in college, didn't you? And I was like, neither of us had ever.

So the first guest was our friend Kyle, and thankfully he had experience. Tell Lauren what Kyle said about your party when he walked in. What, he called it a shaker? He was like, nice little shaker. Yeah, this guy. Do you know? Yeah, I don't know. I don't think I'm.

Kyle Footy. Kyle Foot. He's the man. He was like, oh, yeah, you guys having a little shaker. He just has a great lingo. Yeah. He said something he was talking about. He's like, you know, sometimes when I'm just in bed watching G, my girlfriend, and we just, like, told the story.

And after that, I was like, did you say watching G? And he's like, yeah, golf, dude. I was watching golf. I love that. I was like, how would I know? He'd be great for slang words that don't exist. He would. Watching G is a good one.

How do you meet him? Is he from out here? I don't actually know. He's just, like. Sam's buddy. He just spawned? He's in the crew. Like, he knows everyone.

Yeah. He was a loyal lacrosse guy. Yeah. But anyway. I think him and Sam maybe grew up together. i don't know i know him through sam but it was a great also i grill i've never been the grill guy i'm always really scared of that it's charcoal grill and i actually pulled it off pretty well burgers a lot of good reviews on the burgers i had a dog it was pretty good yeah yeah mine was

pretty i mean a hot dog is hard to fuck up the burger can be a little dicey yeah i feel like i was i feel like you learned a lot of things that like a man should know i do on saturday i felt like i grew up a lot yeah yeah you like you had like what you had a encounter with death and you were like i gotta start to think about the kids you don't have yet you're like i'm they're not gonna learn it they're not gonna know how to tap a keg yeah i did yeah i tapped a keg i figured out a grill it was good dude it was good it is funny i don't i i don't think i could tap a keg i knew how to do it in the restaurant that i worked at but every time there's been that type of tap i've never figured out how to do it there's always just like a handful of guys that know how

to there was the only thing i was missing is you have to like pull the thing up before you put it down yeah which i i don't know if that makes any sense but it was a killer week killer weekend and unless may i well by the time this episode comes out we will be in new york city yes launching what did you think i was gonna no i just didn't know if you had more like barbecue stuff before we pivot to the future um wait wait more barbecue or weekend oh i had i had something that i was gonna say about the keg yeah one of my favorite things in college to do was after the after the party yeah in the morning we would bring the keg into the living room and like watch football yeah with it and it's just such a it's such an awesome way to i was thinking about that your

beer i was like i if i was in college this having half a keg left would not be an issue but it's like we're adults now it's like i'm not gonna wake up sunday morning and start drinking yeah or i mean you you and i i i'm trying not to drink on sundays anymore it's a lord's day we tripled we tripled it up on there we go yeah but triples are different dude triples are they're like a social buzz with zero hang they're redefining the party land yeah i mean uh that was that was the first time that i've had more than like one it was chill yeah they're good we had we had three and watched I've not even gone for four I think I had three

we watched we watched Sorcerer's Stone yeah sick it was awesome sorry what were you going to say about New York no I was just saying

we're going to New York tomorrow yeah my sister is there so once this episode comes out we'll be in New York and we're launching the Friday beer our beer in New York

and it's going to be great and everyone's going to love it I was on the phone with with my sister's roommate

Jill Futter today who we'll see tomorrow and and uh the conversation like she's like a weird hybrid of like she's kind of become such a big part of our family that like it was it sounds like you're talking to your sister yeah almost but then like halfway through the conversation she made like a like kind of a romantic comment

or it was like you look cute today or whatever and tanner was sitting on the other side of the room and was like who like or i was like i love you and she was like i love you love you too bye and he was like who was that i was like sister's roommate that's the last guess I would have had should we give a little RM yeah I mean dude that's your MO dude Lauren

I thought the other I thought the other elephant in the room was that Lauren wants to do shorter episodes I knew you were gonna say that yeah Lauren's on some bullshit dude

Lauren's on some fucking crack shit no Lauren wants to deprive you guys of an extra hour of playing it each week don't you wish you could just hit skip

on the worst parts of your life you know the same way you can skip an ad I get it I'm Siaia and I live in Ice Cove I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned.

And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow, things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. Not an hour. We're going hog wild. You can't stop us. Should we just...

We get to the last segment. It goes on for three hours. Good, yeah, we're doing, we're drafting. Whose personality? Wait, I need to start thinking of whose personality it is. Yeah. We're drafting entire podcasts that's only going to be, so each one is its own full-length podcast.

All right, we have a great episode for you guys today. We have your pitches, our pitches, am I the asshole, Will Angus is going to join for a quick segment called Things That Need Better Names. Yep. Then we have everyone's favorite thing that I'm now realizing I didn't write anything down for but i'm gonna think of it on the spot teach me something then we have a new segment called the best guy ever yeah where we show you some of our favorite people yeah it could be a girl could be a girl this week i think yeah we're using the term guy loosely i'm not gonna have my

whole jeff probes moment where i apologize for saying guys we just mean like guys yeah and then we have slang words that don't exist and more country songs that don't exist and then our personality segment should we hear some pitches?

it's going to be a behemoth let's chat for another 30 not much I'm excited about the Knicks the Knicks are up 3-1 and they play tomorrow and we're going to be in New York for it so I've been texting with my brother he wants to go to the game but I don't want to spend

$350 on a ticket. Isn't Jack going to take you? No, I just kind of threw it out there, but I doubt it. But I think we should go, we should be like greasing poles and stuff. I think it's going to be insane if they win. I know what you meant, but- What does that mean? Greasing poles sounds like you're doing something else in New York.

What does it mean? I mean, dude. They quit greasing my pole. Yeah. Or like, met up with Sandra last night, she greased my pole. Yeah. Let's move on. this podcast is brought to you by triple triple is the original high seltzer with three milligrams

of thc and just 15 to 20 calories triple offers a social buzz similar to that of your favorite hard seltzer light on calories high on life it's all natural gluten-free and again just 15 to 20 calories guys i love triple we both tripled it up yeah we got tripled out of our gourd yesterday yesterday we were watching the first harry potter yeah which i think you have a really good take on it's the most like pleasant just like happy one they're like kids yeah i just i just like that they're not fighting a war yet yeah that they're still like whimsical children wizards and it pairs well with triples i also had a few triples at my barbecue on saturday yep which is a great vibe i was cooking burgers while drinking triples and let me tell you there's no better combination

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back into the episode. Dude, I was golfing yesterday. I found this new par 3 course that I go and play. I bought like a... Topgolf? No, it's called Hero. Sorry. I want to keep it to myself. Can't keep? But basically, it was kind of

packed yesterday for what it is. A lot of people go there that aren't necessarily the greatest golfers so there's just like our kind of log jams every once in a while and uh i finished the first hole and there were these two like dudes hanging on the bench for the second hole and you could tell they'd been waiting for a second so i went up and was like talking to them we were just like you know shooting the shit and they were they asked if i wanted to join and i was like yeah definitely and they were the funniest on the bench or golf golf so we played the rest we played the last eight holes together and they were just kind of

like uh you could tell they weren't they had no they didn't care about the rules like they're that's awesome there was a neural like not like the rules of golf just like general like oh like the rules of life golf perhaps like the social rules of golf not like not like a putt a putt is worth one they were untucking their shirts yeah well yeah we all were but they they there was like a build-up and they're like let's go to six i was like okay so we like walked over to six and now we're like blocking someone else and they're like all right back to three and we're like all right cool and then he's like usually we hit four and five at the same time and i was like i don't even know how to i don't even know how to do that yeah what does that mean you hit both

balls he was like you because it was it was a weird setup where you hit it on four and then you walk back and you go to five so he's like you hit oh you just walk over the 50 hit five and then you go play i don't know that's kind of a lecture they were telling me like because he was like yeah my house is right down there and he's like fucking high school kids come over and hit golf balls at my house when they're on the sixth tee and i was like that doesn't sound cool at all and he's like no it's hilarious that's great yeah i love the videos of guys like driving by a golf course when they just honk yeah i don't because it's when i was growing up someone did that to me i'm sorry ruined my day i didn't know um what was i just gonna tell you

i don't know is it cool that's probably something remember is the roadmap what is that no but we're gonna talk for 30 more minutes yeah just because lauren every time that lauren tries to make us do shorter episodes we're gonna go longer i'm not okay war it's a war we are the okay it came across wrong i'm not like you hated you hate our podcast you hate our podcast you hate being part of our podcast you're just using this as a stepping stone to get the almost friday podcast job they loved it when lauren came on yeah i know um what else is new um not not a ton honestly it's about to be may which will be fun we have cinco de mayo this weekend yeah should be a hoot no big plans i suppose but um probably do something cinco de mayo e there's a bunch of

really uh incriminating photos of me that come up every cinco de mayo on facebook i used to go to the local minor league baseball team and wear like a sombrero and mustache and how old my dad and i used to this is like actually fucked i mean i don't know like i i mean i feel like this is fine because i was like a kid but maybe it's worse for my dad but like for all the jets games when mark sanchez was the quarterback we would wear sombreros that's which i don't think he's like i don't think that's kosher i don't think that's kosher at all but i i there's all these i always get these facebook memories and like half of them are me dressing up it was the 2010 mexican i think there's a difference between the way you're doing it which was like out of love

yeah like you weren't being malicious no no not at all yeah but it feels like if i was running for president like four years ago that would have been like damning you know what i mean like i feel like almost we might be okay now yeah but how old are you in these pictures uh god mark sanchez what he was like oh nine he was yeah it was like nine ten yeah like whose idea was this my my dad's i mean there's nothing i know about mr d yeah he's a lover yeah he's a lover not a not a hater no my parents are in hawaii right now what are they what are they ripping it up dude they're they're what are they my dad my dad always used to tell the story about how he almost drowned in hawaii at this like legendary like surf spot or something he doesn't surf like he just went

swimming and almost died no it wasn't that but it was something anyway he called i called him yesterday he's like yeah i took mom to that that beach to shore where i almost died zero waves and he went up to the lifeguard and he was like where's all the big waves he was like oh that's only in the winter and his trip had been in the summer so it kind of seems like he like invented it now we're all convinced he made up the story did i ever tell you the the hawaii uh hammerhead story no that's what they called me in high school the hawaiian hammerhead yeah yeah um so my mom and dad used to be really into like scuba diving yes that was their i did tell you the story already no no i was just like yes yes yes hell yeah yeah um and so they you know they go on this trip i

think i think my oldest sister had been born and maybe the second sister was like on the way i don't know your mom was scuba diving pregnant i don't know how pregnant but for some reason may i all i know is like maternal instincts are are like kind of the part of this story so i don't know if it was like they just had one or if she was like got it i would hope maybe you don't go i don't know i'm not i'm not a doctor but i feel like you probably should i mean the shark sharks go for the belly first yeah so um you know they take the boat out and uh they get in the water and my mom had forgot to pack her like weights so like you need weights to like get down and then you're like neutral buoyancy whatever and so my dad's like all right i'll just like pull you down

and then like once we're down there you know you'll be like fine whatever and so like that's kind of an awkward thing like it's like feels unnatural and someone's like pulling you down so he's like you know bring her down and she's like kind of freaking out and but they're already like at a level that's like i don't think she could just pop back up you know what i mean and so she's like you know yelling to him and he's like what like i don't know what you want me to do like we can go we'll go up as as fast as we can and they get back to the job and she's like having a hissy fit and being like like i do not feel good about this like let's just go back and he's like furious because they flew out there like to go scuba dive yeah so they're at the bar with

their friends and i guess some like locals had overheard them being like and they're like where did you guys say you were scuba diving they were like i don't know like right off this like reef or like they had some landmark like there was like a shipwreck or something i was like oh shit and they're like what and they're like you should not go there it's like apparently there was like the height of hammerhead breeding season and like that's where they hang out and And just like not a school of sharks that you want to run into. So they were just like freelance scuba diving? I don't know if like with like a group.

I don't know if they had like a bat. Yeah, they were like pretty serious into this. So they were just on their own. I don't know if they had like a guy bring them out. But like clearly the guy who was driving the boat was unaware of how dangerous this one spot was. That's so scary. They dodged a bolt. Yeah.

That's crazy. Wait, I'm going to text Will real quick and just let him know. Oh, yeah. He can come up here whenever because we got our killer segment. yeah let's just ask him to do it right now um should we do you know pitches while we wait you didn't give it the road map oh yeah yeah i did oh you did yeah oh i'm like so spacey today i'm sorry um spacey casey stage coach was this weekend i didn't go what stage coach was this weekend i didn't go oh yeah that's epic yeah i know do you wish you went uh a little bit seems

a little far for me oh far for you to go yeah yeah it seems a little out in the desert yeah it is out in the desert this feel like will's footsteps is that yeah i can see the doorknob turning all right well ladies and gentlemen will angus here's our little guy oh is he gonna sit on someone's lap again the door oh you got to do the laps again i have to pace it out you gotta do will's lap all right these are things that should have better names is that right yeah these are things that should have better names it's almost like the opposite of the segment we did last time things that are named perfectly and don't need to change yeah yeah okay what do you got can i start off yeah okay this one's kind of

obvious number one coffee maker that's the lamest name i've ever heard in my life yeah it's like it's like the whoever invented the coffee maker had like never tried coffee because if you had coffee and then invented that thing you wouldn't saddle on coffee maker like it's just it's the laziest name i've ever heard for something that makes coffee should have like something more fun yeah okay i've got fanny pack i mean that's the exact opposite of where it goes have you ever seen one on someone's fanny no never that's really that's a really good one yeah i have that one and i'm pissed you took it you had fanny pack yeah what it's my first that's incredible thank god i went first um my first one i i get why they named it this but i think enough time has passed

and we've kind of progressed as a society and we need to change it why are those white tank tops called wife beaters yeah that's a really good pick and we throw it around like we're not saying something bad it's lost all meaning yeah it makes white beating just feel like a normal thing yeah when it's bad when it's i thought you're gonna say wife it makes wife beating sound less cool no no no no no you got more i agree oh is it my turn yeah okay um lasagna to me this is like the inverse of diarrhea everyone's heard how like diarrhea is such a beautiful word but it's for this disgusting thing well lasagna is so delicious and it's got this disgusting nauseating word lasagna like it sounds like a disease or like i don't know it

sounds like uh yeah i also don't like the way it's spelled yeah it pisses me off shitty real g's move in silence like lasagna how'd the audio pick up there great i think i got it it's all crumbly and grainy hell yeah hell yeah sister all right i've got another one yeah i've got aids that's the opposite of what it does it literally does anything but aid you uh that's good um here's another one where i get how they landed on this name but it just paints a weird word picture for me yeah baby oil it's not made it's not made out of babies yeah like i get it goes on babies but like we use it for enough other things that i know oil olive oil all those oils

come from that yeah exactly yeah it sounded to me it always sounded like the oil was made of babies hmm i i didn't like that yeah i didn't like that one either ah fuck wait why do you say that it's on a bunch of that you use it for a bunch of stuff what do you mean baby oil regular grown people use it all the time oh really yeah i thought of another one i didn't write this one down that's okay is it uh lifeguard i feel like they're they're so heroic that's like such a lame name for someone that's saving lives yeah they should have like the name of a superhero or something also there's no part of that that mentions like water when that feels like a kind of a necessary part of you know what i mean it's the key part yeah it's like most of wit

like without water there aren't lifeguards yeah they're just like a lifeguard only applies to water situations but there's no mention of water yeah yeah all right what do you got well i love how your brain works thank you thank you it works so even better now that i conked it I've got here's a good one I've got this is a crazy one how do we all

we say this all the time and no one's like that's an insane word cockpit what the fuck is a cockpit like true

it's like don't yeah like like it's like a cool place to be too it's like the coolest guys on the plane get to be in the cockpit

yeah like that'd be the last place I would want to be yeah I'm actually curious Lauren can we look up the origins of cockpit is that allowed

I do want to say this will i i chose cock pick for uh for words that sound nothing like what they are did you really oh maybe it was cocktail never mind it was cocktail oh cocktail's crazy yeah cocktails okay the original meaning was literally pit where a cock fight happened oh so it was after 9-11 they named it man that concussion is doing you wonders speaking of words that don't sound like like concussion no concussions actually sounds like you're playing drums yeah okay percussion you're hot i have another one well hey he's got one i got one yeah but you are

yours are like all copies what's up sorry go on we'll we'll kind of stole my thunder with this one but cock like for like construction sites oh call oh caulk like yeah yeah but no one says like that caulk caulk caulk it's caulk there's an l caulk i fucked what the fuck's up with a shoehorn a cheerleader oh yeah that's lame yeah they mailed that one in oh my god don't even get me started on the guy who invented the board game shoots and ladders every other board game inventor came up with a fun name that guy fucking mailed it in yep shoehorn is horrible yeah A shoehorn sounds like an aesthetic piece that would make your shoe look cooler. Or ham fisting.

Like you ham fisting something. What's ham fisting? It's like, oh, that's a thing you guys do? Yeah, it's the thing we do with our writing where we don't know how to show the audience what we're trying to say, so we just tell them and we ham fist them. Got it. With all of our sketches. We tell them, like, this is the joke!

Ham fisting. Look it up, ham fist. Maybe do incognito mode. this is actually a thing ham fisted refers to a person who lacks dexterity they have a difficulty doing jobs that require delicate touch oh it's like shoving it like shoving it down someone's throat correct okay like yeah the met yeah the the meaning you get it you're red hot dude i i think i have a concussion all righty wait i got one more horse

it needs we i'm not gonna lie i like forgot the name of the segment i don't remember it either i think it's horse wait no that was your game no what is this segment it's horse boat things that sound what is that things that need a new name oh these are things that need a new name okay these were things that had a new name these are things that would be a new name just yeah cut up just say a bunch of words and she'll edit them in the in the order french bulldog that shit ain't from france i think that's exactly where it's from i think that's why it's named that french montana pick a lane which one you from boy try and think of more um oh do you have any more haircut

that is a good one yeah but i mean i guess like some some words some things need to be named yeah i guess they couldn't have had fun with that one wind farm what you growing there wind yeah growing it though south america you lazy ass all right all right why did you every other continent got a new name they're just like no this one just south america how about virginia In West Virginia. Yeah, L. What happened there? I don't know.

They got fucking bored, dude. Yeah, I wonder what came first. Got really hot in here. What's podcast mean? What does that mean? Lauren? Lauren, give it a goog, would ya? That's what we say on our pod.

Give it a goog, would ya? It's one of our inside jokes. Maybe like, where does podcast come from? We know what it means. wow what the hell ipod broadcast oh wow never would have known wow so apple like created that word dude they're they're goaded that's pretty sick that is wild yeah how are how is every other platform allowed to use it uh they didn't stop them cool um all right thanks for coming on the podcast will i'm not done you got more i'm trying to think of more i don't want to leave i don't

go back out to the real world oh here you go will it's so much safer in here when we're coming up with silly names silly goofy things underwear space true lazy lazy this is turned into just things that are things that just words that describe what they are compound words that are astute here we go here we go uh meatloaf that's that's a good one because is there meat in that in meatloaf yeah there's meat yeah it's all meat what is it it's just meat breadcrumbs and ketchup. I don't think I've ever had meatloaf. I love meatloaf. It's the best. Race car. Yeah.

Words that are what they are backwards. That's a new segment. Oh, God. This is fun. And I have to go back to the real world now? What's one thing that our listeners can take as a piece of advice from you throughout the rest of their day?

That's a great question. Oh, it's gotta be good. Because everyone's expecting something really good they are everyone's thinking he's gonna come with some fire right now oh it's angus he's probably ladies and gentlemen will angus no you will it'll be funny if we sent him out this time okay so you're not so you try it doesn't work when you do it when i do it all you have to do is this look snap your wrist like what a delight he was to have that was fucking a while i know he's always blows way better than i has that he's been oh he's thanks will this episode is brought to you by yada if you love playing online games and making

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code playdate let's get back into the episode pitches let's hear some playmate pitches let's hear it all right so our first pitch is from sam b he says sam b so uber pet is a function on the uber app where you can pay a little extra to ride with your dog right but we can make a new version that's also called uber pet for example if you're really high and going to a party you call an uber pet and get to play with some dogs and birds all the way. Birds? Birds and dogs, or dogs and birds all the way for comfort. The driver already

has the animals. It's not bring your own animal. That's great. Yeah, I would get that. I'll get the birds one every time. Probably just stick with dogs. The birds will be insane. I just, dude, imagine you're like, it's like fluttering around the backseat. You're like, oh my god.

Jesus. Uber birds, dude. Let's do it. I want to put 10 million dollars in right now Shout out Sam B I'm picturing like Parrots or like toucans I was picturing like a pheasant What's a pheasant?

My first bird that I killed was a pheasant Really? My first bird that I killed Hasn't happened yet But I'm going to kill one of those fuckers soon The moment I get my hands on one of them I have it mounted I don't even know how to spell that P-H-E-S-T

What? Yeah. I was just so wrong. I nailed one of those fucks. Ew. That thing looks... Imagine that thing in the Uber. Yeah.

Hell no. They smell so bad. What about Uber pool, but it's a pool? Only takes you to and from the pool. Or it has to be a pickup truck that has like a pool in the back. Yeah, or basically like the hot tub limo from Parks and Rec. All right, Lauren. love that okay love it next one is from adam c so he actually phrased this as a bar that doesn't

exist but i thought it would also do great as a pitch so i was like i'm just gonna all right so this is the people's court the friendly community vibe of a good karaoke bar but instead of karaoke friends come in to squash their beef in front of a jury of their peers other bar patrons the guilty and innocent parties are determined by the audience's reactions cheer if they're innocent boo if they're guilty the party next found or the party found guilty is sentenced to bind the next round for the innocent party and after 11 p.m it turns into a club and the dj sits behind the judge's bench in full judge attire yep yep yeah i mean that's killer that's awesome i mean we should make that i have no notes yeah i mean that sounds great i mean the jury what's something you

and i have disagreed about the week ago do oh the airport thing there the airport thing oh yeah be perfect that i would fucking rinse you you'd be my drinks rusty i had a friend actually bring that up to me on friday and she just because she said she saw the clip and thought that it was hilarious that you do that she's like that isn't like she think it was like endearing no we remember in boston we were in boston at our event some guy came up to us and was just like yeah by the way i think i think you're crazy for leaving him at the airport yeah first thing he said unsolicited she didn't think it was like endearing and she wants to get like a drink later no fuck she's taken dude Who?

She's a steak-in. I don't know. She's steak-in. Cut the tension in this room with a knife. All right, should we give our pitches? I got an HRP. That's what I call a home run pitch. All right, ready for this?

Bang, bang, boom, boom. Will you set me up on a date? With this girl? Mm-hmm. I don't know what she likes. Google her? She's cute. Who is it?

My friend. She listens to our podcast? uh she she watches the clips i don't know if she listens to the pod cool cool that's cool too that is cool too oh here's my bitch the oven app seriously what how is it 2024 and we gotta get up and see how the temperature of our oven when it's preheating how much time left when it's cooking how hot it is looking peep inside the oven dude the oven app is a one-stop shop where you can control the oven you can you can leave your house with something in the oven and then you just turn it god damn it why are you googling my pitch i just like knew that it had to exist no

what you trust that whack ass app oh like this it looks like exactly what you're talking about oh wow and you can do washing machine dishwasher will is furious i'm sorry that was mean i should have waited i was i when you went for the google in the middle of it i was like that is a ballsy play by hoagland i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm crying i might cry i come on this podcast every week for you guys all right yeah fuck my fuck me their app their app can't do this and you know what your toaster oven app wait time out though their app can't do this and you yours can because as an investor i bring you this idea you can start preheating it when you're not even home yet so by the time you get there bank can you do that

can yours do that can you preheat it on the way home the fuck out get fucked in mine this is mine yeah i made this yeah your app fucking blows lauren my app you can look at it will it has 3.1 stars oh yeah okay mine has five stars too it's a fucking piece of shit yeah oh and and they're in celsius yeah it's oh god european degrees celsius your house is on fire i think at that point isn't that like a million degrees fahrenheit i think you're thinking of kelvin oh god is he coming uncle kelvin you fuck bosh all my homies hate bosh fuck all that shit dude that's pissing me off and siemens bosh and siemens yeah yeah coffee latte ah sorry stinky um stinky my feet smell what's stinky i was making a joke i said stinky when

i took my shoes off that's like the exact the one thing you don't want to happen when you take your shoes off someone in the room goes it's stinky all right uh you guys ready for an hrp yeah pre-coloned shirts google it if you're gonna fucking google everything we do i don't think that exists are you done i'm sorry actually it probably does i smack go the shirt is made out of like cologne no the liquid shirt shirt is made out of like nice smelling fabrics that get better with each wash here's the kicker though i love it you love i love kickers i love kickers um here's the kicker your beach your shirts that are like for the beach have like a beachy scent i love that your winter clothes have like a nice like warm pine tree more

appropriate yeah exactly chestnuts your you know your um your regular t-shirts just have kind of your your run-of-the-mill scent yeah so no matter where you're going you're gonna smell like a million bucks and it's gonna be like the appropriate cologne that's great i actually it's a really good idea thanks i feel like that google it lauren also i gotta just fucking ruin my day yeah let's google everything you said i let you finish sorry we're freaking out we're just we're just having a bad day i know we're just fucking with you we're just fucking alone what is it pre-cologne shirts shirts that smell good what yeah it doesn't fucking exist oh a cologne germany shirt right here oh that's just a brand

here's my question name one motherfucker who's ever roasted chestnuts on an open fire we sing that shit every christmas jack frost yeah but no one who does it we did i think i might have already told you guys this multiple times my neighbor brian cunningham growing up we used to prank call him like on the on the home phone when our babysitter was over and we go chestnuts roasting on an open fire jack frost never not your nose and he would like you'd let us do it but he would be like i'm gonna find out who's fucking i did i do think he told us i remember that yeah but it's okay it was doing your best uh should we um should we find out who the asshole is yeah let's figure out who the asshole oh yeah because right now it's lauren no i'm just kidding

we're just having a we're being we're being tensed today tensed tensed is that a word yeah is that really a word yep okay um okay so we have one girl who we're gonna call hell yeah and then love calling chicks i mean sounds like a tuesday afternoon for me okay let's what up shouty what up let's do the non-call first wait cool while we're on the while we're on the topic um you know how we did like a mock first date can you because i feel like you're good at talking to girls on the phone can you can we do a mock phone call can you tell me how you would do it oh that's good what if i was calling you yeah i'm a girl i'm a girl that you're suiting okay wait wait my name's denise and i and we met

we met at the bar tonight on friday it's now it's now sunday okay denise hey denise hey will how are you i'm so good how are you i'm doing well uh i was just talking with some friends and and we were i was laughing thinking about that night on saturday when we were at the bar so much fun still by the way friday though what's that we met on friday i think you're thinking of a different girl no no no no i'm i'm fucking with you okay okay okay i'm sorry i'm sorry you got me you got me up you know i'm a player so could have met another girl no one me but anyway i love that hat you had on thank you that green really looks good on you yeah i was kind of on the fence about it but i feel like i looked cool

yeah you look great and what um what are you up to this weekend uh well it's sunday cool already so i mean okay in my week starts on sunday for a guy like me so i'm talking about this friday set this five six days from now um nothing i think you know might go to the beach with some friends but nothing crazy okay do you ever do medieval stuff because me and my friends like to do medieval stuff like the renaissance fair or other things like that or like um um medieval times or like the renaissance fair or anything with like chain mail and stuff if you're in if you wanted to come with you could be you could be my you could be my last in shining alma yeah that sounds yeah that sounds cool i've never done medieval stuff really like a like a big turkey leg or

like an apple in the mouth or like chain mail anything like that i think you know on human chess i don't think i think this is the wrong number no no it's your number i wrote it i got it tattooed on my skin. I don't think this is Denise anymore. Going on vacation? We're here for it. With kids

who turn the backseat into a courtroom drama over whose tablet is louder, whose charger is faster, and why watching the same cartoon for the hundredth time is a human right?

Yep, we totally have vehicles to handle that. Because whether it's a road trip or a business trip where your flight's delayed, your phone's at 2%, and your dinner is

whatever is open, yeah here for that too enterprise we're here for it yeah guys i don't think she's in that was killer that was killer bit thank you and i kind of wanted to be serious and then it went off the i i i i threw it off i threw it i'm sorry i thought you wanted to be the guy to practice what well because i wouldn't know i would know i would want to know how will because will's always the guy so i can see how he's always the guy do you want to see how i would do it this is how i would do it great bring bring yellow no you're the girl yellow hi uh will will helm this is this is rusty yeah how are you it's good to hear from you i'm good

yeah um you know we were just sitting around and you know we're thinking about having like kind of a mini get together at our house this afternoon if you want to roll through um yeah i i think i should be i'm doing some medieval stuff early get fucked sorry um all righty let's let us uh find out who the asshole is yeah okay this is from dude we should actually go to the renaissance fair does that exist yeah it's called medieval times have you guys been no but that's like

where you like oh you want to go to like a real renaissance fair yeah yeah i think there are some in like uh like sacramento well i had a there was one kind of near me as a kid it was a blast in pennsylvania i mean we don't live there anymore so

oh fuck i knew something was up okay um so this person wants to remain anonymous okay they said the girl or the guy no this is the guy we're not gonna call it he just gave a long spiel okay hello lauren and fellas i have an am i the asshole tale to tell uh blah blah sorry if it's long-winded or confusing i read it though i don't think it's whatever i'm going to try to do my best to condense the story as it is a long doozy that involves a year plus long breakup and complicated situationships some backstory year-long breakup a long conversation yeah some backstory at the beginning of 2023 i had been dating my partner at the time for about three years after a little vacation she took she

came back and suggested that we begin an open relationship this caught me off guard but i was willing to hear her out although i did agree to it i was very hurt and internalized my feelings about the whole thing for the sake of our relationship ouch after many months of both of us making stupid mistakes living together in a complicated relationship we decided to amicably amicably break up directly after we decided that we would attempt to be friends best friends it's like a strange that always works yeah here this first of all you guys red hot two things that always work open relationships staying best friends with your ex so he's two for two yeah i'm actually i actually think being friends with your ex is cool i'm friends with like almost every

single one of my we're the only you're you're it's impossible for everyone else um why let's let's talk about that after yeah let's finish it we spent almost the same amount of time together as usual but i obviously moved out of our shared apartment in may of 2023 post breakup i began going on some dates and i met someone i really liked my ex and i continued our friendship with some cloudy confusing moments along the way and eventually my ex suggested we try again exclusively at that time I was honest with my ex and told her that if that if that is what we were going to do I would cut off this newer person in my life my ex was horribly upset that I never told her clearly about the person that I'm seeing somewhat seriously and unfortunately that is what I did

I cut off this new person for months while I didn't really want to in the first place after some time obviously my ex and I decided we weren't working we continued our friendship and stopped dating fast forward to nearly present day and i'm still thinking about the newer girl my ex has established a hard friendship boundary stating that she would be unable to be my friend if i continue to see her even speak to that new person mostly be mostly because she knows that ultimately i never wanted to cut her off in the first place now i've been honest with my ex but the fact that i want to date this new person and my ex has continued to set a hard boundary leading us to go to no contact while i consider if i'm going to date this person or not so lauren

rusty and will am i the asshole for moving on from my relationship with the person that i met directly after my old relationship ended despite it being a hard boundary for my ex-friendship this is like so absurd no i don't want to lose this person as my friend but not moving on with someone that i'm very romantically interested in for the sake of what friendship feels that friendship feels wrong to you would love to hear your thoughts no that's that person's being manipulative and you're not the asshole well here's here's the second thing is that's not a real friend right like if if if who you're seeing at all affects the friendship then there's something else like there she obviously still has feelings so it's like you can't be friends if

she's not willing to treat you like a friend yeah to be fair and to what you were saying earlier i i think that's badass that you can be friends with your exes yeah but that's it's very hard yeah you gotta at least i'm also not like i'm not like i'm friends with them i'm not like they have no say in anything in my life and we're not like kicking it as much as we did when we were dating obviously yeah yeah is it a hot take that like maybe you weren't really truly like in love with them if you can still i don't know i feel like for most people that's like a really hard thing to i've never ever been able to maintain yeah a friendship in the wake of a relationship um because it's just too emotional i feel like the opposite where the people that i was super

close with when i'm dating that's why i'm still friends with them is because we were really close when we were dating but it just wasn't like so we we obviously still want to be friends yeah yeah yeah i mean yeah i don't know i feel like i'm too much of a softy for that like i'm or like i guess everyone has their different levels of like emotions and and i would yeah and i would be like too like jealous if i found out about anything anyone they were with oh interesting yeah i definitely get i definitely feel like that too yeah so that just makes it yeah i don't know i'm just laughing at like the range of this pot speaking gibberish to like actually being so deep and that's why they love us well yeah

that's why the playmates that's why we got some labels no you're obviously not the asshole um and it sounds like this yeah yeah just it sounds like probably i would always say that you should put like the new romantic relationship over the like what sounds like a fairly toxic friendship you know what I mean so I would say yeah pursue

he sounds like he's very interested in this new lady so pursue that I would agree probably got like hot as ball new lady probably smoking too so she probably smoking that don't hurt you remember in Hannah Montana they used to call I haven't seen it

no spoilers uh oliver oaken they used to call him smoking oaken yeah oh nice that's pretty cool i actually you never watched it i didn't have cable i am not convinced that you have ever watched tv when i'm not in the room because every time i bring up a tv show or movie you have never seen you've never seen parks and rec that's not true shit that was your like that was your ace in the hole yeah um i've never seen deadwood i think you made that up the wire i haven't seen the wire i heard the wire rules though that's all right i'm a hater okay you actually you don't like the wire oh i thought you loved it first season was solid but then it got really boring but i didn't it was good it was good at

first i never really became what i wanted it to be i'm sorry and or you've never seen my favorite show of all time what did you say which is i'm so delayed and or oh i thought you said and or no oh that's the name and or is my favorite show ever never heard of that ever it's a star wars show but it's better it's the best thing in the whole history of the star wars universe can't be true i've seen it like five times um okay should we do our next one okay this is from a girl named clementine clementine all right keith kirgo clementine says Wait, say it again Keef Kirgo

That's a guy in Andor Oh Okay Can I go? All the time Star Wars name The bartender singing Clementine The bartender singing Clementine Guys, we're gonna sing Clementine

Keef Kirgo Okay, Clementine says Kiki likey Kiki La Hickey Wait time out My mom My mom calls her Calls her cat Kiki

La Hickey In like a baby voice And I've created this character In my head where he's like some dark Overlord named Kiki La Hickey So I just want to have a meeting at 3.30 I don't give a fuck What's the meeting?

YouTube yeah i don't give an ass i mean you got your big movie tomorrow oh yeah my new show will be out by the time this watch episode two nola no but the new orleans episode yay on the friday beaters youtube so check it out all right clementine says am i the asshole for vandalizing a fraternity house and letting a fellow sorority sister take the fall last year my sorority had a social with a frat that had unfortunately for me just completed costly bathroom renovation i spent the majority of the night with my friend we'll call lauren named after my favorite podcast producer yes love that yes lauren had recently become the risk management vp of the sorority

and was in charge of making sure everyone followed the rules and punishing sisters that i didn't or that didn't on this particular evening i blacked out the next morning the sorority group me was blowing up who wrote naughty words all over this frat's bathroom this is so disrespectful and childish you need to come forward it was the talk of the town i turned to my roommate and said oh my god who would do that grow up yada yada i felt sorry for the culprit as they would no doubt face the sorority's honor board and the scrutiny of the entire chapter she looked me dead in the eyes and said babe it was you in that moment i had a that's a raven like flashback of me in the bathroom penning words like poontang and nutsack on the mirror oh it wasn't like racist i thought

it was like i thought it was like hard hard seas and yeah yeah that's funny i think you're allowed to do that wait what was the first one she said poontang and nutsack on the mirror and sketching anatomically correct boobies and peepees on the stalls yeah that sounds killer a few a few moments later lauren bursted into our room at the sorority house she said i was the only one she was sure didn't do it because i was with her the entire night except for the five minute bathroom graffiti break she begged for my help solving the case and now we're gonna call her okay okay we're calling the clementine rules clementine that's her name we made her name it's a fake name she sounds so funny um poontang is hysterical yeah nut sack's pretty good too i hope she answers hello hey

wait one second you're not on speaker you gotta put her on speaker there we go hi hi guys how are you i'm amazing i am so excited i love you guys we love you i love you too um we named you we named you clementine for this story to keep you anonymous that's so sweet i love that yeah it's like a small orange basically but um so cute we heard you wrote nutsack on the bathroom yeah nutsack and poontang so were those the only two things no i drew boobs and penises uh and i think that's all sounds like you were white hot that night yeah it sounds like you were on fire i don't see what the crime is here yeah i think i drank um like eight or nine shots the fireball that night there we go that's good stuff can can we just so will and i can kind of

like put ourselves in your shoes have you always been a fan of funny words like that or like was that kind of a new side of you no i've i've always been a fan of funny words wordplay i think that's one of the reasons i love your guys's podcast you guys are fans of that too i love wordplay i love wordplay that's great all right so it sounds like all right this is where we're at win the story sounds like you did a victimless crime that was funny and then someone blew it up but you were somehow exonerated so what we don't know yet is the part how did someone else get blamed for it okay so lauren as i named her came into my room and said yeah you're the only person that i can trust because i was with you all night now this was like lauren's first week being risk

management so i think she wanted to like show that she meant business that she like was to be respected make an example out of whoever did this wait time out what what did you write it with um it was like fabric markers because like the social was themed where we were all like signing each other's shirts and stuff so i couldn't to do handwriting comparisons on the shirts to the handwriting on the walls did they not could they not get it off no they did they got it off with a magic eraser it was so easy oh what the fuck i think that since this was like her first big event under being you know being risk manager she wanted to like crack down yeah wait just just to be clear another friend knew it was you but not lauren yes only my roommate knows that it's

me it's been a year and a half and i've never come clean and just yesterday a girl brought it up and they're still mad about it like i thought maybe maybe like haha laugh it off yeah but um I guess not. Wait, so, all right, sorry, I cut you off before. So Lauren is like, you're the only one I trust. And who do they end up blaming? So she's like, have you told anybody else the word poontang? You're the only one I hear use that.

Like, I don't know. Yeah, they did handwriting comparisons. They were threatening to cancel the rest of our social events. So eventually, a few weeks later, they blamed the girl that brought the markers to the party. She had to go to honor board. Her position in the sorority was taken away. her friend that she brought was banned from all of our events moving forward and so i feel terrible that like she took the blame because she just brought the markers yeah it is funny that she

was like doing a nice thing yeah and like caught astray um she's one of my good friends too so does she know she has no idea the guilt has been eating me alive for over a year that's a pretty good one because like you actually might be the asshole wait wait wait wait wait that's what i told my friends i was like i know i'm the asshole so like what do i do about it what's the wait wait we still haven't got you there's still a 50 50 shot what what was what what repercussions would you have faced if you came clean so i think one everybody in the sorority knowing that it was me and i had just moved into the house a lot of these friends were new friends so i was like i thought this would ruin me if it came out what year were you what what year in college were you when this

happened sophomore okay and i think that i would have probably been banned for from social events for the rest of the semester yeah i i i don't know if you're the asshole or not but i definitely wouldn't have dove on that grenade you know what i mean like like letting someone else take the blame is definitely i think you are you might be the asshole but i i think i would have done it too Yeah, the repercussions are too, there was too much at stake for you to admit it. Thank you. That's what my roommate, I almost came clean a couple of times in my room. It was like, no, like, we can get through this.

It's not worth it. But now my question is, like, I want to tell Lauren that I'm going to be on this podcast because she knows how much it means to me. Or what if someone else hears it? Like, I want her to hear it from the horse's mouth. Yeah. Do I come clean now? Um, fuck.

We can use, like, a voice distorter. oh yeah we could use a voice distorter it's a good idea or we could get the we could get Lauren on and the other girl to that bar that's like a court yeah that's a reference to

something you don't know about but wait I have I have a I have a kind of a pitch I have a way to spin this okay the sorority is the asshole for not thinking that this joke is hilarious which it was right yeah yeah so you got put

in a position where it was a lose-lose exactly wait this was at a frat house right what this was at a frat house right yeah it was at a frat yeah whatever think about this way if someone shows up to a party with a bunch of guns and then someone gets shot who are you blaming you're blaming the person who brought all the guns to the party so you brought exactly gun markers don't write people don't write on walls markers right on exactly so i mean she supplied the ammo you just were uh you know okay can we give her can we can we now think about what's clementine's course of action here like what where does she go from here well what year so you're what a junior now or a senior no i'm a i'm a senior i graduate in two weeks oh dude you should come clean 13 hours away

from here so yeah i think i think like you should come clean as you're walking away on the last day by the way that was me that wrote that shit and get in the car no here's what you do you uh you do like a zodiac killer thing where you start kind of calling your shot and like writing notes like you send the exact board notes and you sign it poontang yeah in the same handwriting same font and you like you give them enough clues that like it would take them two weeks to figure it out yeah wait i love that i mean you should do something fun like at this point you're on the way out is lauren gonna is lauren gonna flip her shit when she finds out that you let her take the fall no lauren didn't take the fall yeah my other friend took the fall oh well luckily she's studying

abroad right now oh yeah you what what country um italy they have extradition laws there um yeah i think that you are in kind of the perfect position to confess right now where i can't imagine there are any more social events for the year no i'm done so yeah you uh i think what you do is you only tell the people that need to know like the the bitchy girls that like uh you know were on exec board when that happened and her standards or whatever and like aren't really close with you they don't need to know you just tell the girl that's abroad and uh and lauren knows no lauren doesn't know okay i think i have to tell her tonight i think you guys i think you guys get on a call you've got until wednesday this episode comes out wednesday

yeah um you get on she listened to the pod i don't know but also i love you guys so much she's gonna be so happy for me i'm hoping it'll overshadow my it probably will oh you know what you know what you could do you tell her and you're super excited about you're like you don't tell her why you're on the pod yeah and then you just skip to this part of the episode yeah and you watch it and you watch her jaw go through the floor when she finds out what you did i think that's perfect yeah you should know you should play it for it can you you should take a video of her listening to the pod oh my god can you wait can you do that and send it in yeah we'll post it i will absolutely do that that'd be so funny that would be fantastic um you guys need an update yes we

should call you should call us it could i was this is an unrelated thing i now think that's the funniest option but i also it would be funny if you just like wrote poontang in the same font in your bathroom of the house or something so that people and since she's abroad it would just immediately be like we got the wrong guy yeah you know what i mean yeah you you reopen the case yeah yeah yeah they'd be like that's funny i like that but no no you should play it for lauren and get her reaction on video and we'll play we'll play it next monday oh my gosh i will do that for you guys that'd be hysterical so can we can we hear from you like how do you think she's going to react to this so she's one of my dearest closest friends like i can't even put into words

how much she means to me i love her so i'm hoping that she'll think it's funny i'm more worried about like the girl that took the fall finding out do you think she like was her life kind of fucked up by this at all for a little while because everyone was mad at her like she was mad because she's like i didn't do it so she was like publicly proclaiming her innocence like she wasn't okay and no one believed her no yeah yeah somebody that wasn't in the sorority so they were like oh it was that girl because like she doesn't care she you know yeah affected by writing on the wall i don't know i mean you're are you ever gonna see the girl again i don't think so yeah on honesty the truth will will genuinely set you free you're gonna you're gonna like tell her

once you get it off your chest you're gonna feel like a million bucks well you don't have to tell that girl the abroad girl do you tell lauren just tell lauren and then just i think you might just end it there yeah and i'll i'll send i'll send it in yeah perfect all right well thank you for joining the show today we're excited to see yeah this is yeah this is a great one thank you guys so much you for real make my week every week oh thank you for the time the feeling is mutual happy graduation too yeah congrats yeah can we ask what school or would that be too much info what school yeah i go to the university of maryland nice go terps yeah go terps all righty we will see you on wednesday bye on wednesday bye bye peace that was my favorite one

that's hysterical that's like she's kind of fucked up that she like that he's funny i know but it's kind of fucked up that that girl like got her life a little bit fucked up by like i i probably wouldn't yeah i don't know if i would have owned up i don't really understand the dynamics fully but it's funny that there was like a real consequence that someone else faced and she just didn't say anything yeah well like she probably like didn't think it was gonna be that big of a deal right right and then i like got away yeah i i stand i stand by the fact that like yeah maybe she shouldn't have let that girl take the fall but at the same time like it's not her fault that they're like bullshit agrees if it came it came off you said it perfectly it's a

victimless crime yeah it's not like it wasn't funny either like she like she pretty funny poontang and nutsack yeah those are great those are both funny words hysterical yeah uh that was my favorite call she sounds like she rules yeah she sounds great yeah thanks for calling it you rock and congrats again on graduating graduating what do you think her major is fucking in criminal english yeah i mean in arts yeah it's like urban art writing it would be funny if like she was like a known graffiti artist calligraphy isn't like insane font that was obviously you um that was great all right cool do you want to do uh teach teach me something teach me something you didn't do one though right i'll think of something okay um i was just gonna tell you about the uh oh the

guy that the jets drafted in the fifth round on thursday his name is quantes stickers and uh he didn't he played football in high school he was good he went to college to play football covid hit his freshman year his dad died in a car accident so he just he like couldn't play because of covid then his dad died so he just dropped out of college and was like depressed and just like working like jobs around that like his i don't know he said i think he said he like detailed cards cars and stuff two years later the fan the fcf started it was like this lower tier football league yeah and he uh he decided his mom convinced him to try out for the fcf and he got a job and then he was scouted there by a guy in the cfl got a job playing in the cfl his first

year he won rookie of the year and then he got drafted in the fifth round of the nfl draft without ever playing a snap of college football that's crazy at 22 years old which is pretty insane wow yeah wait like the ultimate redemption what are those leagues like well the fcf is like this new thing it's called like fan controlled football it's like there's an app and while you're watching you call the plays oh yeah it's like everyone like votes everyone like votes on what play and then so it's but there's not really there's like a bunch of startup leagues that try to are those people obviously trying to get to the nfl but it's not very common but there's not really any like canadian football leagues actually like i think fairly good yeah yeah but anyway

Pretty insane that he didn't play ever in college. He didn't play football for like two years. His mom convinced him to try out, and now he's a fifth-round pick in the NFL. What team? Pretty badass. On the Jets. My favorite team. Oh, yay.

Pretty exciting. Good for him. That is a guy I will be rooting for. Keep your eyes out for... What's his name again? Quantez Stiggers, I believe. Yeah, Quantez Stiggers. How do we think this is spelled out?

Yeah, bingo. I don't know. He's a cornerback? Yeah, defensive back. I think he was the first defensive back to ever win Rookie of the Year in the CFL. There's also, like, the first white corner in, like, forever. Yeah, Cooper DeJong.

Like, a position that, like, white guys just could not figure out how to play. And he slid in the draft. Yeah. He was, like, picked way later than expected. All right, here's a fun one. In World War II, like, the British tanks kept, like, stopping for, like, 15-minute, like, tea breaks.

and like the germans like figured this out they're smoking too much weed taking a tea break uh they would stop and like the germans kind of figure this out and would like wait just like they were just like we just gotta wait for them to take a fucking teeth they had to respect it no they would just attack them then and like like it was becoming like a huge like hole in their military operation so now even today the british tanks have like uh on the go like tea makers in really in the tank because of this that's hysterical yeah some british shit if i've ever heard pretty fucking wild people are just dapping i know up downstairs yeah sorry i'd missed that because i was telling

our peeps to be quiet that's funny can we are they still loud i think they saw my message all right do you want to do what about the best oh best guy ever pull up slack i also selected to you this is our new segment best guy ever a little preface on this guy his name is living lathan um like nathan with an l oh you showed me this guy yeah i love this guy so his whole thing is start with the start with the middle one but i just wanted i want to preface it a little bit so so his mom like will hand him his food and be like here is blank and he has such a way with words of like describing what's happening with the food and like he basically gives you like a mini commercial for each thing so this is him with croissants i want you to note

that he's wearing a beret okay these look so good here are your croissants flaky buttery soft to the touch and aromatic truly they are breakfast reserved for kings This is awesome Divine The other thing you showed me Was something about kings too Yeah You love saying things are like

Like for kings Should I go to another one? Go to the first That looks so good It's jelly on it Go to the first Go to the first link I sent you He

Here's your pizza So this is the Royal Caribbean pizza The Royal Caribbean pizza It truly does live up to the name Of Corregid Roma A wonderful layer of cheese Up to a pepperoni Oh my god that was so good

It truly is one of the kings among pizza Like he just has this crazy Dialect That's awesome Go to the third one I'd love to see him like read like a scroll That's like kind of like what I was thinking Oh this is my favorite one

I love that. This one's my favorite one by all. Oh, my God. That's like the breakfast best of kings. This one is like he should be in a commercial for it. Oh, raisin toast. Normal toast may be simple. Well, this is simple, too, but there's a complexity to it.

A swirl of cinnamon. The sweetness of raisins. And the elegant aroma. With a side of bacon, it takes it to the next level. There's only one thing this toast needs To truly unlock its full potential Butter Ah

Superbative Superb He said superbative That's awesome Superbative That guy rocks That's my guy that rules He lives around here we should find him and have dinner with him

Lathan oh I love him I've also never heard that name before Yeah Lathan's a good one great what a great guy all right well i'm up who's your man i don't know his name i i forget okay oh but i was we were playing lego star wars all right this is my attempt at every lego star wars death sound oh my that was so good I love this.

the r2d2 one's insane you yeah that one was spot on so i i actually like i i don't know obviously i don't know all those yeah how accurate are those pretty good i mean i don't know all of them but uh yeah i mean the r2d2 one is like spot on the jar jar one's really good too so you guys know you know the wilhelm scream yeah lauren you know the wilhelm scream Look up the Wilhelm scream Some guy was making a movie Wilhelms Wilhelm scream

And like I guess the scream was just so perfect That like this is kind of the default scream In like so many movies It's fucking hilarious Yeah Yeah it's that one It's like every time I got into Indiana Jones

It's like thrown off It's in like a million movies I don't know I've never heard that you have you just like don't even know it yeah it's in like everything look up like recording the Wilhelm scream like you can hear them like get to this noise and it's really funny

like the guys that give it yeah it's this one man getting bit by an alligator and he screams Okay, ready? What? Just wait. They were like, nailed it. Nailed it.

Wait, I don't get it. So movies just... Look up like movies with the Wilhelms. Yeah, the Wilhelm Scream examples. Or just, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you're right, Will. Yeah. What, on YouTube?

Yeah, no, no, just look up like a list of films that have... All these movies. Just click on that IMDb list. And they use that exact... That exact screen. It's like a... Wait, look up like Wilhelm Scream compilation. And it'll be like...

Okay, yeah. Sorry. I don't know, it's like an homage to like early cinema. It was such an iconic like... Interesting. Kind of like a funny thing that like directors do. Huh. This is kind of like your Teach Me Something, too.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't know that. Wait, what was your Teach Me Something? Rock, sand, and glass. Oh, I've totally heard this. Isn't that funny? Yeah, look, this is in Star Wars.

don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life you know the same way you can skip an ad i get it i'm siaya and i live in ice cove i've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way i planned and today i'm still figuring it out somehow things usually get worse before they get better apparently that's how i roll so bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride stream a new episode of north of north tuesdays on cbc gem all right okay that's funny that's enough wait what was your teach me something it was the tea maker thing oh that's saying like this counts like this can also be uh yeah okay will do you want to do slang words that don't exist or country songs that don't exist first up to you lauren

let's do country songs i agree yeah um all right these are country songs that do not exist all right i've got only one seat on this saddle it's about a cowboy who's in love with a girl but he knows that the cowboying life is for him so he's you know he's saying there's only one seat on the saddle so he can't settle down with her um i was thinking maybe it's like there's only one seat on this saddle and i can't fight your battles i'm leaving seattle tonight oh seattle i always like when saw when cowboys reference like a town they shouldn't be in yeah it's always funny where it's like well that's where she is yeah i didn't know country guys went there yeah yeah um i got city girls don't for okay i've got city girls don't go for country boys and i uh i think it's

like i think it's like uh city girls don't go for country boys her tesla's quiet and my truck makes noise or something like that i love it yeah what else do you have that's right i've got heels on the hardwood yeah um it's about a guy and a girl and a you know they're fighting maybe in a relationship but he's like but that no but that don't matter when i hear i feel like we're singing them today yeah i yeah he's like but that don't matter once i hear your heels on that hardwood baby girl he can recognize her cadence of her dancing

basically it's like it all goes away they might be fighting but once they start dancing together it's back to square one and they're in love because once he hears those heels on the hardwood gorgeous I've got I Hope God Plays Fetch it's like this guy

and his dog just passed away and he's sad about it and he's like looking out on the field that he used to play fetch with his dog on he's like i hope i hope god plays fetch i love that his dog's in heaven now i love that i i teared up right yeah it's kind of emotional i hope he does um i've got if if fish liked beer it goes uh if fish like beer i'd hook a miller on my line crack one for myself and let the both of us

unwind oh that's so good yeah yeah is it like uh no music if fish like beer i'd hook a miller on my line crack one for myself and let the both of us unwind dude all jokes aside that literally that's like if you built that out a little bit more i think that's better than 50 of country songs out pretty red hot right yeah that's like big fan of that one that might be your best draft selection ever it's so good um i got they don't serve cores at the ritz okay so this that girls be like a might be a saying that doesn't exist too but he was yeah it's basically this country singer has been like waiting to make it big his entire life and then once he does he realizes it's not what he thought it was gonna be and he's calling his family at home and he's like they

don't even have cores here like he's they're they're at the ritz and he's like it's not the High Life's not necessarily for me. Didn't even mean to say High Life. Yeah, High Life. Got a pretty prelude there. Isn't for him, and he's kind of reminiscing on how much easier life was when he was just kind of a struggling country singer. I like that.

Thank you. I've got If You Were a Mosquito. Good girl, if you were a mosquito, you'd be easier to see go. And I'd be numb to all your biting by now. good when you leave for winter fucking lyrics that's so good dude um so it's about love that comes in the summer and it hurts and then it goes away and he's sad i thought it was gonna be something about like sucking to be honest no it's nothing about sucking frankly because there's no sucking yeah there's no shanking there's almost no there's almost no sucking yeah there's virtually

no sucker um i got uh and i'd spend it again so it's this guy just broke up with his girlfriend he's he's the whole song is he's listing all the fucking money that he spent on her and you're like you think he's gonna be mad about it and he's like and i'd spend it again because he he had a great time during the relationship and he's not petty over little things i like that thank you i really like that um i've got bigger i've got big skies and bigger lies it's about a man out in the big sky country montana who lied i think he lied once oh we got big skies and bigger lies i think my pitch is all fucked up no it's you've actually been fucking crushing it thank you Do you have any more lyrics to that one?

I could make them up. Yeah, do that. We've got big skies and bigger lives. And girl, I'm missing you tonight. Because when I see those eyes shining bright, I know that you're the one I want by my side. I don't want to put too much air in your tires. You might be one of the...

Sometimes it blows my mind how talented you are. Thank you. Just riffing country. it's like a very specific skill to have yeah and i feel like it's being wasted in this podcast room i don't know about that the country clip did good so yeah um all right i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna give you guys a little choose your own adventure i'm gonna give you the title i'm gonna give you two titles okay you guys pick which one you want to hear about whiskey on the pillow or does she leave you notes whiskey on the pillow i think yeah i like both of them though so he she breaks

up with her boyfriend and you know he was an alcoholic but it was like kind of in an endearing way he wasn't she wasn't he wasn't like abusive or anything um but she just felt like it was best for him to like kind of set a boundary and be like i'm not gonna like i'm not gonna let you drink yourself to death and then she misses him and she's saying about how his side of the bed The pillow on his side of the bed still smells like whiskey But you can smell the whiskey on the pillow And she missed him Will you sing something?

I'll smell the whiskey on your pillow And I'll list our house on Zillow Cause I know you'll never be here by my side Beautiful This guy doesn't fucking miss I'm gonna tell you guys about that She'll leave you notes her husband

was a construction worker and he would make his lunch before he went to bed every night and then before he left she would slip a note in there for him to read at lunch and now they're divorced and he has a new girlfriend or wife or something from her point of view and she's singing

about wondering if the new wife leaves him notes in his lunchbox for him to read sing it out when you get down at the side and crack open that lunchbox does she still leave notes between your oj and your sandwich i was like what rhymes with lunchbox what rhymes with lunchbox um oh i had another one that i liked like i couldn't really flesh this one out too much it's called uh no sunsets in mexico okay

and it's like a i think it's like a jimmy buffett well there's no sunsets in mexico but next time you better let me know when you're headed down south to the land where it don't set Where it don't snow Snow Yeah Fuck But I think it's basically like You know

Life's a lot easier in the tropics And Yeah Is Mexico tropics? Tropics and truncates I think it's like truncates I don't know I think it's tropics

I don't really know where the tropics are To be honest I haven't been to the tropics in a while Alright should we do slang words? Yeah let's do some slang words that don't exist Alright these are more slang words That don't exist I've got

Day trader Sorry I need one second. I was trying to figure out what to focus on, Lauren. You were trying to put a zin in. I was trying to put a zin in. It's on video. Emma Chamberlain is a zinner.

I love Emma Chamberlain. I love it. I've been so obsessed with her even more recently. Oh, so the tropics spans the... Okay, interesting. It's not like a region. It's just like between two latitudes. I think it's because of just...

It's between the Tropic of Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn. Oh. It's like the center of the Earth. I like that the audio listeners might think that you and I both knew that. oh yeah it's on unison and taught lauren that because but yeah we read it on that on the tv all right you want to say sure these are more slang words that don't exist all right i've got day trader someone's a day trader when all right we all know that guy right he he wants to hang out but the moment there's like a maybe a little slight downturn he's got another plan he's going

to you know he doesn't stick with the group through thick and thin he buys low sells high so he'll hang out with you but you know he's always kind of ready on a whim to go jump ship yeah he's got like he's got his hands in like five different friend groups yeah and you know when when things aren't maybe at their peak he but he bails nice day trader cut that one if you know i liked it i liked it a lot that was good you created it that was good um i got houdini but as a verb okay so it's to leave a place like without anyone noticing it's kind of like an irish goodbye so it's like yeah dude where'd you go i didn't even see you leave i i houdini i didn't want to have to say goodbye to everyone i like that a lot i like that a lot it implies that you

did something like crazy to pull it off yeah you didn't just like walk out the door all right i've got village uh something is village if it's contributing to sort of the common good of the community so you know like the saying like it takes a village so let's say oh dude i was walking past your car and i noticed it's about to expire so i put a couple coins in the meter it's like oh thanks bro that's village yo village it means you're looking out for one of your own without any expectation of repercussions it's just for the common good of the community i like the visual of you walking down the street and like popping some coins in your buddy's like what what's up with that you're like dude village yeah i mean it's that that's just that's just village uh i got

pippin it's good you like that that was killer that's great um i got pippin it's like your right hand man be like yo who's that over there oh dude that's will it's my pippin yeah like you're You're the pip into my Jordan. So you're MJ, if you will. I'm Jordan. I feel that way sometimes. Sticks. You would describe someone as sticks if they're good at accomplishing a certain kind of hands-on activity.

Let's say at my killer barbecue, right? Someone's like, oh, Will's on the grill? Yeah, he sticks, dude. He always kick. I feel like I'm losing my mind right now. He always kills it? He always kills it. Like, I'm trying to think, like, you know, like, you're on the sticks on, like, a video.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I'm saying it's, like, who's cooking tonight? Like, oh, Will, he's sticks. Like, if you're good at doing stuff that's hands-on. Nice. Yeah, because it could be other things, too. All right, I got motor. I don't know if I like any of these.

I liked them. No, it's good. You don't like mine, either? No, I like yours. I hate myself. Ah, I like yours a lot. Really? Yeah.

Nice. You're so back. All right, I got motorcade. it's like when the entire group is out together at the same time dude we were a motorcade last night even will made an appearance i like that a lot thank you i got i've got scramble it's when you you know you're gonna be out and about bouncing around all day but you don't want to really lock in like specific plans yeah it's like all right we got five of us here let's just go let's scramble all right yeah we're gonna start somewhere we'll see where it goes maybe we break

up maybe we stick together we're scrambling we're having fun non-committal nice here's another fun way you could use it yep just came to my mind i was hoping that this was where you're gonna go with it like a scramble in golf so when it's like a if we all do something as a team effort yes it's a scramble let's scramble yeah yeah i like that um i'm just getting tired of calling like my sunglasses sunglasses or like shades or you know whatever or sunnies yo pass me my blinds i like that i like that a lot new pair of blinds the other day from rayman new pair of blinds yeah that's perfect thank you um i've got mouse that's used to describe someone who comes over and just eats all your snacks yeah it's like dude's a mouse dude i do not want him coming over like he's going

straight for the goldfish and you know it yeah he's a mouse frozen mouse i like that a lot um i got chassis be like yo hop in the chassis we're gonna we're gonna get some coffee what's that me it's like a car it's like the bit like the thing that holds your car up is called the chassis i guess oh i didn't know that it'd be like yeah i'm coming over hop in my chassis i'll take you to your coffee i like it thank you it's fun yep all righty um whose personality are you guys doing this weekend oh my god probably well we're going to new york so probably biggie how is that gonna look i'm gonna roll how's your day-to-day life gonna change i'm for one for one i'm gonna love it when people call me big papa

yeah um i put my hands in the air like i just don't care i think you're mixing a couple of different songs jalen bronson dude i'm the king of new york nice um so i bet this guy yesterday who there's like a patio that overlooks the first tee box so there's like tiny little par three chords that i was playing yeah he was just singing frank sinatra into a microphone like karaoke he had his phone with the lyrics and there were like a handful of people watching him and like clapping at the end and it's like i think that it takes such balls to do something in a place where that would normally be like not cool he brought his own setup i i mean i can't imagine he didn't get it cleared by

someone but like um he had like a microphone stand with his phone and was like singing uh my way by frank sinatra when i teed off it was hilarious that's awesome yeah that was awesome whose personality is jillard i'm gonna steal so i went to this new coffee shop which one in marvista yesterday it's called mavro and my barista was super cool and confident in his barista or in his coffee making abilities and i just thought he was awesome how does he how did he like exude yeah was he like no so i asked him i was like a behind the back no i was like i was like oh i'm gonna get the raspberry white mocha latte like is that good and he's like it's a new drink like i i don't even think he'd made it before but he was like but i promise i'll make

it good i was like okay yeah i trust you that's awesome and he had cool tattoos so like i also trusted him because of those guys sounds interesting yeah he does sound like he rules i don't know all right oh will and i were at a coffee shop yesterday and it felt like a fever dream for some reason like the oh the ordering process was released will went outside so i like ordered both of our coffees and like where you ordered or where everyone else was ordering was like apparently like not where you were supposed to do it so like i moved down to the register and it kind of threw off the whole like thing because now the girl behind me thought that i had already ordered and it was like this whole thing and then they made the car they made your latte well got a iced latte

and they made it in the like the bartending shaker like i'd never seen that before is that how they normally do it uh like where you like smash two cups together and you're like if it's like a shake and espresso no usually they would just steam the milk in like the little thing and then yeah but that's if it's a latte like if you get like it was all you had a latte ice latte oh but it was ice so it would just be no normally

they would just put the espresso shot in and then pour the milk in and then stir it up maybe they just shook it the shooking is nice though okay we love you guys

thank you so much for tuning in again I just want to say that was probably the most fun phone call I've been on it was great

that was a great episode love you all if any of you guys have any stories comment your favorite Cinco de Mayo tradition wait also everybody continue

to send in like AIM by the Assholes yeah and they don't have to be just because that one was good they don't have to be like that If it's anything in your life that's going on and you want to talk about it, give us a shot.

Send it in. Love you guys. Take care. Bye-bye. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siyaya and I live in Ice Cove.

I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow, things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem.