Will & Rusty's Playdate - insane live Pokemon card pull $$$ | Ep. 249

Episode Date: September 30, 2026

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Okay, how are you doing? Let's get into it. I'm doing pretty well. I, um, I had a nice morning. I read this morning. What are you reading? I'm reading Red Rising. Oh, you told me this. That's the book that's like Andor. Yeah. I mean, allegedly, yeah. But yeah, so far the writing's on the wall, it's going to be like Andor, which is good. So what does that mean? What can you like see some kind of andor themes? Yeah, there, there's a member of a lower class that, sees the oppression of a tyrannical empire and is initially resistant to fight, even though he's well equipped to do so,

but then is sort of called into action by a series of emotional events that trigger his participation in the resistance. It kind of sounds like you're describing yourself a little bit. And with what he did, with what he did to that flock camera. Oh no, no, no That's not what I meant. I just bet it sounds like It sounds

It sounds like they wrote it Being like And this is what's happening In our world also Well this book came out a long time ago But I think this has been happening For the all of human history We're not the first guys ever

No we're actually like Doing better than 90% of Yeah Perfect We're just seeing just the writings on the wall So we're getting a little You know scared Okay

Because we learn from our history That's the thing. That's the number of thing. History repeats itself. Andrew, you were saying earlier, history tends to repeat itself. I was, yeah. You know, I would say

was probably the worst at it, the Nazis. The worst of what? Or the worst, the best at it, I guess. I was like, I don't know, I think they were,

they were pretty, well, until they weren't. Andrew, what did you want us to talk about this episode? This episode is brought to you by Bearbells.

Rusty, show me your Bearbells. I actually have a lot. lot of segments playing for this episode. Do you really? Because we said we were going to raw dog day. We didn't play it. We have no segments. Really? Okay. I have the normal stuff.

Oh, okay. But no drafts. I texted you that. I was in a meeting. I'm sorry. I was working on a script and it's really funny. For a sketch? Yeah. Can you give us any T? Um, no. I don't want to spoil. It takes place in a bar. It's like hooked in.

Here's the idea. It's like, what if you, you figured out there was a tab you could put your drinks on at a bar that never closed. Nice. I like that. The guy guesses a name. Oh. And it's right. And then him and his boys have to be like, oh, my God.

That's awesome. It's still open. That's awesome. And where would that take us? I think. It's actually Brett's idea at the inception, but we're running together. I don't know what I would do. Probably drink some alcohol.

Would you, though? Like, I don't know. I've always wanted, like, I knew got. Oh. What is? that what is right there was just an iPhone on a stick right next to the studio it's kind of a nice all right we'll talk we'll get to it later sorry um what was i what were we just talking about the alcohol thing oh i knew kids that like if they found a credit card on the ground would like

use it at bars in school yeah i don't think you're supposed to i heard you're not supposed to anymore. Yeah. You're definitely not supposed to. Yeah. What about if you found money on the, if you find one dollar on the ground, would you buy a chocolate with it? Well, that's, and if it had a golden ticket, would you go to the factory?

Why is it fine to spend money you find on the ground, but not use a credit card you find on the ground? Exactly. And if there was a potion that would make you float with your grandpa, would you drink it? Of course. We'd go way up there, man. We'd go way up there. But would you bring back an everlasting Godstopper?

godstopper that's like the uh that was my nickname in pickup that's like what I thought jacking off was when I was a little you know if you jack off once you can never repair your relationship with god stopper

yeah you literally yeah he has a lot of tolerance for a lot of other things jack off one time you can never repair your relationship it's it's it he's always watching doesn't that suck it's and it's also one of those things where it's like you know how they say like well if if

there's some guy who's never been, that he lives on some remote island and he's in like an uncontacted tribe and he's never heard of Jesus Christ, will he go to hell? It's the same thing. So if you have...

You think people in uncontacted tribes are jacking off? So that's a good question. Probably not like... Are they just having sex a bunch? I bet they hold it differently than we do. Like you know when you like, in like Canada, like they... Like in Asia, they do it like this.

Like chopsticks? Oh, I was like... Is that not how? you hold chopsticks? No. I mean, you'll, uh, no, I use these two, these three, maybe. Okay, it's like, I postmates Benihana yesterday. That's a thing you can do now.

Did they come to your house and make it? So that's, that's, every person I've told today. Yeah. Because apparently there is a Mitch Hedberg joke where he talks about ordering Hibachi and he wonders if the guy still did all that crazy shit. Oh, yeah, if he still did that. I, uh, that's pretty funny. Someone else suggested maybe they give you like a flash drive with him doing all the stuff on it.

That could be cool too. They FaceTime you? They fade it. That could be cool. I don't know if something happens to the Benihana on the drive over. Yeah. But it came out 35 seconds after swalling it with a fiery rage. Out your butt or your hole?

My butt hole, obviously. That's a trick question. Yeah. They're both same. Yeah. I mean, do you, have you, can, I ask a blanket question. Have you ever had a meal that your body responded well to? Yeah.

We name one. One thing to be in the last week that hasn't made you shit yourself immediately. Okay. Could be everything else in your life is just making you shit everything. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

Um, I had a burrito a couple hours ago. You saw me come out of my office after that and you go, are you going to be okay? Yeah. and you're not. No, no, right now I haven't. Oh, so a burrito was the one thing that didn't make you shit yourself this last week? Yeah. Well, that's the most recent thing.

Yeah. Last night, the Benny Hottomimmy showed my brains out. I think whatever I had, I think what I had for lunch. Oh, the breakfast burrito from Dogtown, total nuke job. The night before was, I want to say, airplane chicken. That didn't go over well. Yeah. You got that delivered?

They ordered it from LAX. They added Delta on Uber Eats. That's like not that far off from Benihana in my mind. You know what I mean? Like Betty, when I saw it on Postmates, I was like, what? Yeah. Really? I mean, I wonder if they, like, do they have, like, griddle things in the back?

Or do you think they have, they have one that they just don't seat people at? or do you think like a guy who's serving people also gets like a ticket it's actually like kind of a good question is that a good question or is that like an okay question it got to be i i would like to think that like yeah he's like in the middle of like throwing the egg in his hat yeah and his like uber display dings and he has to make mine yeah or maybe i like the idea that there's one guy at like table that no one is seated at yes and he has a screen up like uber and he like swipes to accept the order and then he like maybe each seat has an iPad yeah yeah yeah when it dings he treats it like a guy oh and he like does the shrimp toss into individual takeout containers yeah that's a good

point actually that would be really silly I like you're really good point I like that do you think in the Truman show they ever just like do you think like the people watching it ever like someone made like a jackoff compilation it does he do they so did they just go to commercial when he starts like I mean they don't show in the movie but I think the show had been going on for you like forever at that point right was it was his whole life that he was in it he was born in yeah yeah so like there's probably someone probably made a youtube jackoff compilation compilation at minimum a jackoff instruction at least well that's something different well they stitched all his words together to make it yeah faster that's a good point grip it harder squeeze your balls yes very good

Good little boy. Good, good, good. Oh, too bad. Bad. Too hard. Way too hard. You're squeezing out. You're squeezing them too hard.

They're going to clip this and it's going to look like, we did that. We, yeah, we did that. Like, you know how that? We should make stickers. We did a thing. Wait, we should do that. We should make stickers of us. It's like, you know the shit they put on gas stations with like whoever's president?

Like they'll have Trump or like Biden or whatever and it'll be like, I did that. Yeah, yeah. We should make stickers of us. It's like, I did that. We did that. We didn't. People were like, these guys,

we made the gas prices high? They put it like under, like on the drive-thrus? Wait, we should actually. The Big Mac is now $5. They're like, really?

Can we actually do that? Make stickers of us? It's just like, we did that. No, we sell them. You want to add it to the sticker pack? Yeah, and get,

until the playmates, like, to put it funny places and send us pictures. We didn't that. We didn't. No, it should be we did that, no? You don't like this idea.

I do. I love it. It feels like you, don't they're not sold on i'm completely i'm completely in love like imagine you're at a gas station you're like wait who are those guys that's why the gas prices are high what other things could we put them on that that no one else has thought of it because people have done the gas station thing what if it's like yeah um like yeah like the price of a big mac on like a menu like any price anywhere yeah

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you and I are doing a bar crawl tonight, Andrew. Oh, really? For a video? A spooky bar crawl. Oh, with that one girl? Spooktober, yeah.

Spooky foodie. Spooky foodie. Is she, like, a real foodie? She, like, I think, uh, reviews bars and restaurants that are like... That's her whole M.O? Yeah, she's, like, pretty big on Instagram, I think. Why, you said that sounded so judgmental. I guess I'm just, like, surprised.

Like, I feel like she's, like, she's, like, in good shape, right? what are you doing right now he's a boyfriend and you're uh huh well no i mean i'm just saying you're called danny too and he's i'm just saying like when i think of like food influencers and mug banger is like they're usually like a little little buffier i don't think it needs to be not all not all food influences are doing muck bangs yeah but like i think if you're like going out and you were like reviewing food okay what about what a food a person reviewing food can just film one of their meals that day and have the same amount of food that you have in a day.

I guess, but I feel like if your life, like... What food influences are you thinking of? Like, Niccato, avocado. He lost all the weight, though. Did he really? Yeah. You didn't see this? He, like, tricked everyone.

Good for Nico avocado. He apparently was like a social experiment. Oh, ooh! Got really fat on purpose. And then kept releasing videos for, like, a year while he lost all the weight. And then one day was like, oh. I'm skinny again, fuckers. I think I remember seeing that on the web.

That would be awesome. Imagine like we did a whole month of podcasting. I can't. And then just scheduled all of the episodes for like a whole year. Oh, then we all got jacked. And then like, we all get jagged afterwards. Yeah. Or we all got fat.

Or we all got like. Or we're all morbidly. We pulled from a hat. We all like transitioned. Okay, we pull from a hat. We pull from a hat. One person gets obese. One person gets obese.

jacked and one person gets trans. One person gets trans. And then, like, we'll decide for... Do you hear Will got trans this summer? Yeah, and Russie got jacked. Saying you got trans is further funny to me for some reason. How's your summer? Good. Got trans?

Yeah. Not much. It was pretty hard, actually. I had to get trans for some reason. I guess I had to do for a right podcast. We transitioned so we can start to. doing like caller daddy type stories where we all get trans and then just talk about like blowing guys for like an hour yeah immediately be our billionaires hey that's his cousin hey man that's my fucking i'm not shooting on collar daddy

yeah well i'm not either i'm just saying oh okay what was that we all talk about blowing a duck and get immediately indom that's my cousin that's family bro is it but that's just and family's everything for the record for the record that's what happens on that show right have you listening to do it? I've seen a million clips of it being like... There's definitely other stuff. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff. That's true. That's my fucking cut. That's my blood, bro. Yeah.

I don't come after your blood. That's our sister podcast. That's our cousin podcast. Speaking of sister podcasts, that is legit my third cousin, bro. Have you seen the... I don't know if any of you playmates are new here? Also, you're saying they just talk about like blow jobs and stuff on that? No, they talk about the woman experience in society today.

Yeah. And taking down the patriarchy. did on that show, the gluck-gluck-gluck-9,000? It is just, it is so dehumanizing the way that you try to minimize their impact. Wait, I'm not trying to. Carl Harris was on there. Do they, wait, did they talk? That would be crazy if they talked about head. They talked about, no. Don't. Are you actually angry about this? I can't tell. I mean, I'm just saying that there's a lot of really good content for a lot of women out there that are just trying to explore and understand. I'm not saying, I'm not saying that's bad content.

No, I think that I think that I'm on Andrew's side here because that's my cousin. And that's fair. And I think that men try to diminish women's comedy by... I think you're mad that you have to hear about your cousin giving sloppy all the time. I don't have to hear about that because that's not what she talks about. It's not true. If you would even listen for like five minutes. It's just disgusting.

So if you took a second to listen, you would know. But instead you just fall into the stereotype of like... like, oh, all women entertainers or comics do is talk about sex. When that's just the male perception. Kind of only preach. Kind of only talking about one. Yeah, but it's a microcosm of a larger sentiment that I think a lot of men perpetuate. Amplified.

Yeah. So when it comes to my cousin, it's like, yeah, that's where I draw the line. Listen, I would be bummed if I heard about my cousin giving Hummers, too. My cousin doesn't give hummers She's actually married and having a child There's no way a pregnant lady's giving homers Let's be honest I think that's probably the only thing she's doing it

No I think you can have regular sex when you're pregnant That feels wrong right She can't get pregnant twice I know but would you be like Like near a baby Wouldn't you be near your baby Like a go That's like where your penis goes

It does not go into the uterus typically I don't think Mine definitely doesn't. Wait, but wouldn't you, if you were to, why, let's, you can definitely have sex when you're pregnant. 100%. Unless she wasn't pregnant. I know physically you can, but is that legal?

I just feel like your penis is so close to the baby. It's illegal. I feel like, oh, it's like child, like predator? It feels really wrong. right? No. If you were to ejaculate then they would hit the baby.

No, it wouldn't, bro. It's not in the vaginal. But that's where the fucking, the cum goes all the way up, doesn't it? Because that's where

the baby was made. Like, how do you think the... How do you think if you have sex when you're pregnant, it's like you're coming on a baby, on your baby? I guess. I don't know.

Bang. Oh, wait, what? Yeah, it will... The fetus is safely enclosed inside the amniotic sac. Oh, okay. I forgot about the amniotic sac.

A thick mucus plug seals the cervix to block anything from entering the uterus. Okay. Hey, these are women's bodies. This is not disgusting. This is biology. Yeah. You won't find this on your male podcast. Andrew and I know about this stuff.

Yep. Because we listen to color daddy. My cousin. Who's your mucus plug? Mine's thick. My mucus plug. Bro, I got the thickest mucus plug. He hooks it up thick.

All right, let's, can we pivot? Yeah, please. Why, because it's your family? Yeah, can you give us one of your segments? Yeah. Already? If you want. Are they like segments?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just two. But the first one was I was scrolling around on whatnot. Last night, do you guys know what whatnot is? It's like a card trading app or something? Not quite. eBay? It's kind of like, E-Bet.

eBay, but if eBay was like live, yeah, it's where I get like my Nitoes and stuff like that. And so they do these live auctions on there and you can just bid on the things that they're selling. And I got everybody some Pokemon cards. Whoa! Because we have a lot of playmates that are also Pokemon card traders. How do you know that? Because they all reached out to me when I was talking about selling my Pokemon cards. They were like giving me tips and tell me how to get things graded.

So I got three packs for each of you guys And I thought we could open on the podcast And see if we get anything That's like a million dollars You want to do one per episode? We have three each Three each Yeah, let's do one today, one next year

Well, I'm a little bit worried that like We're not going to get anything in our first round And it's going to be like really anti-climactic Which is why I got three for each person Well, let's see what happens Okay Let's open one now, should we do it? And then I also have

Plastic covering So if you do get something good You can put it right in the cover so that I can say a PSA 10 because as I learned the hard way, if it's lightly played, you lose like $100,000. How do we know? Are they old or are they new? You'll know a good card when you see it.

No, I mean, are the packs old or new? The packs are new and they're Japanese. So they're all in Japanese. And expensive stuff is still coming out? Yes, all the time. God. How much were they? A lot of rare cards.

Not that expensive. It was $40 for all. Total? Yeah. Wow. I did. Yeah. That's fantastic. So yeah, but I thought you guys would feel right at home because you guys were just in Japan. Yes. And these are in Japanese. So you could probably read them out loud to us. Yeah, we probably could remember how to say I'm sorry. Comenna'sai. All right, even if we don't get anything, let's do one prep episode. Because I think it, that's a fun thing to look forward to. Okay, yeah. Dude, this brings me back. I remember being in Target and just bagging my mom. I was fucking all over these shit back in the day. What's the way to open these again? Don't people like? Very carefully. Oh my God. I'm probably. I'm probably. I'm probably.

making we are probably making some playmate like skin crawl right now the way we're opening them there you go I use the bite the dena one these are cool yeah yeah holy fuck what how do you do them again okay you hold it upside down you hold it upside down and I believe the last card or I know you hold it right side up third to last wait there's only five. Five cards in there. This one sucks.

My first one sucks. Also, I don't know what it's even cold. Wait, show your cards. Show your cards. Oh, they don't even have the names in English. I don't know why they went, but I assumed that it would... I've never seen this guy in my life. Oh, I actually know this guy.

It's a growlith or something, right? A grout. This guy has some sort of motorcycle. Oh, that's like motorbob. God, Mark. Oh. What? Did you get a refractor?

It's like shiny. Wait, really? Wait. Oh, nice. Put it in the cover. Okay. I didn't get anything good. Yeah, I don't think I got anything good.

But that's okay. Bummer. But that is okay. I think I got a growl with. Can we look up what it's worth? Yes. Do you know what we're doing on this haunted bar crawl? We are going to five of the most haunted bars in L.A.

What does that mean? What's a haunted bar? I think it's like a, I don't know, a bar. They're a fucking ghost set, man. We have goth chicks there. I bet there are goth. chicks there I bet there are a lot of tatted

women I think that I I think I'd like a goth girlfriend yeah we can make that happen tonight I probably I feel like I could make that happen pretty quickly unfortunately yeah I'm down unfortunately we can both if you want

have the same one or have different ones we could have both different I would be down at different ones I think I'd prefer to have different ones is that worth that much under uh it won't show up on the app. Oh, it's unpricable. I think it broke the app. Can you Google growl life? Is that the name of it? Like growl, I-T-H-E? Oh, $12. Oh, my God. All right. I mean, that's decent.

We almost made our investment back. We made some money back. Yeah. That's great. Well, I see one listed for 89.95. Yeah. That is true. PSA 10. So, which this would be, right? Because you put it right in the I put it in there. I put it in there, yeah. I did bite through the packaging to open it, but I don't think I bit at all. Probably fine. Probably fine. All right. When I was in elementary school, I came home from school with like a binder full of Pokemon cards that I did

not go to school with. And my mom was like, where did you get these? I was like, I traded Matthew Yim. I had convinced him one of my cards was like the most valuable card in the world. In the world?

And took his entire collection. And my mom was like, nope. And I just had to go back the next day and give him back to him. Damn, she busted your ass? Yeah, but I was like, this is, I'm trying to get him ready for the real world. There are some, there are some sharks out here, man. Yeah, I mean, if he's going to be in the real world, he's going to know your ass is going to get busted. Yeah, you got to get your ass busted once in a while to keep yourself from becoming a buster.

Totally. Get your ass busted or become the buster. That's what I always said. You either get your ass busted or you become the buster. Okay, you either get your ass busted. busted or come in the ass of the buster or that's like some like some sort of like old vail like come the buster or something you guys want to come over to my house and play come the buster it's your guys one guy all right who wants to be come the buster one guy in a in a t-shirt that we've

drawn buster on in marker this is ridiculous we're 26 years old gives a fuck man also we are not 26 i still have another year you're right it's just funny that we have contemporaries with like families and stuff and we're like what if there's a game called come the buster i honestly can i be honest with you yeah i prefer this one yeah i think i'm right i prefer this one by a landslide yeah i would much rather be the guy sitting here wondering you know what would life be like if we played come the buster instead of being at home giving feeding my kid mashed peas right now yeah and having sex with my pregnant wife when my cum gets all over my baby bingo i mean dude You know what the great part is about being 25 with their kids?

I've never seen a mucus plug in my fucking life. Was that bad? No. I mean, that's what he said earlier. I was just repeating. Don't fucking point at me. For the record, I, I meant like, you know what? No.

We're not getting into this. I told a woman last night, I don't think I want to have kids until I'm 40. Really? Yeah. Well, that's easy for you to say. Another, a little, uh, a little microaggression against women. Yeah. women don't have that kind of time yeah so you're only willing to date you i think women have

that kind of time no man not usually you're saying women cannot have you know a geriatric pregnancy is anytime a woman is over 32 no that's like wait for the record i don't have to i don't have to have a kid with a woman exactly no you're saying i got to date someone younger i'm saying when i'm when i'm 40 i could adopt a kid i could have okay kid with a 32 year old woman what race would you get Chinese, obviously. That's a good point, actually. Yeah, sorry. Sorry, I'm actually going to try and maybe give a kid a house who doesn't have any parents.

Oh, you guys just, you guys, you guys, no, no, you guys just want white babies that are you guys? It just means to fulfill your dream. To be safe, you should be dating an 18 year old right now. Brother. If you want to have kids with someone that you're dating now, they would have to be like, just to be safe, probably 18. Right. Maybe I could groom one. Yeah, you could groom one.

Just to be safe. Just to be safe. I actually think you're really hurting that future foster home child's life. The future foster home. Lynch baby, what'd you like? This baby's from Zorg. Future foster home, everything's completely normal, but the baby has eight arms. Yeah.

It's like, um. But the baby you're adopted. It's like green and has 17 eyes. Make sure you put the baby in the laser crib. Well, I was just going to say, I feel like, you know, you're hurting that baby's life because you're not teaching them how to pick themselves up by their own bootstraps. It's a good point. By adopting? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Instead of like getting out the mud. I'd adopt. I'd adopt them. I'd adopt them, but I wouldn't give them anything. They'd come back to my house, but they'd kind of be on their. own just until they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps. Sure and I mean you have to go to

your job at VORP anyways a VORP analyst every day so what you don't have time to be like washing its tentacles and have you ever pulled a girl up by her boob straps. Come me out of here man I want like an eject button imagine you just get tired of the conversation just eject through one of that shit on the voice just finds my chair around Oh, man. Loady, loady, loady. In all seriousness, I'm sure I will have kids before 40. But I'm definitely allowed to wait until then, right?

You're definitely allowed to, yeah. You would have to just to be safe, be dating an 18-year-old. Now, just to be safe. Yeah. Okay. All right. Well, do I have to? Is there another?

No, no, no. I would not do it. I wouldn't do it. I'm just saying. look that sounds kind of here's a you know i accidentally got in the parent pickup line one time when i was trying to get off the highway you get the scoop out of kids dude i was so embarrassed because i took the wrong exit i'm in the fucking i mean gridlock traffic waiting to pick up a kid from samohi i guess i have to it's like dude if anyone saw me right now they would be like

what the fuck is are you doing if imagine if like a co-woman worker saw you or like a high school kid recognized me. I was like, are you picking someone up from my high school? Yeah. You could be like babysitting, I guess, right? No, but they'd be like, we found out he like babysits high schoolers?

Would you be more shocked to find out? He's like, yeah, I'm babysitting. I was like, yeah, there's a couple 15 year olds. I babysat a kid who's like older brother was only like three. years younger than me. Okay, yeah. So we'd like be at, I'd be like at his house watching his little brother. And then he would like also be there. And it was one of those things where it was like, I don't really have any, I obviously don't have power over him. Yeah. But I think his parents were like also hoping I would maybe keep an eye on him. But like we were like borderline peers. Like he was a

sophomore. Yeah. I was a senior in high school. I mean, we would, they would hire babysitters that were like the same age as my sister. I think it was just like technically, I guess that's not her problem. I don't know. Yeah. I guess the family dynamic kind of messes up too. Yeah. Because you're like scared to tell your siblings to do something. Yeah.

It is funny back in the day you thought it was like they were all adults. But like at one point I had babysitting it. It was in like sixth grade. Really? When I was like very, very little. That's kind of maybe eighth grade. Sixth grade now that I'm saying that out loud sounds. I wouldn't have a sixth grade as far as I could throw her.

How far, okay, how far do you think you could throw a sixth grade? Let's be honest. Sixth grade or freak out? Okay. I didn't mean it like that. I was thinking like Burger freak off and I forgot. Oh my God. There's like a,

there's a kind of a sinister energy in the air today. It's the fucking, there's so much spooky stuff right behind the camera. There's skeletons. Am I saying that word skeleton? I asked Rick if I could bring a girl here this weekend because there's a pumpkin patch. Is that like what you do?

Huh? Is that like? Yeah, it's like a fall activity. You take a girl with a pumpkin patch. I'm gonna ask me if I wanted to go fucking apple picking. She said it fucking or you put that she said that apple picking sounds fun. It totally sounds fun but she was like let's do it on like a Sunday and everyone's Wait, do you fuck the apples or do the apples fuck you? Shee! All right like I'm gonna be I want to get to the bottom of this

If you had a sixth grader of your choosing by the ankles, how far could you throw them? 20 yards? Not like 10 yards. Sixth graders pretty decently. Like I I could hit that wall. I could throw them into that wall by their ankles, right? Yeah. Would you go with the smallest sixth grader available or like... Definitely. Right?

At that point, you want to just... There's no leverage. There's no point in... Okay. There was a... We had a kid who was probably... Like, he wasn't a dwarf, but he was probably like three feet tall in sixth grade.

I remember being like, that sucks. How tall do you think we weren't? I don't even know. Sixth grade, probably five, six. maybe 5 5 no I was probably short than that yeah I think I was like 6 8 10 you got Andrew's the height version of Benjamin Button's disease

he has came out of the room 7 117 came out of the room white as hell I'm gonna tell you that I kinda hurt my feelings what you're white are you fully white I can't tell sometimes he is I do know what you mean it's hard to move different yeah oh you don't move like a white boy well oh I got that like white boy swag. What are your, what is your ethnicity? It's like white as it. But like cut like maybe country wise?

Country wise. It's country. Um, like terraces. Yeah. I listen in country music. No, what do you, what do you? Where do you like hail from? Where is your, where could your ancestors be traced back to? Like the most white places ever. Like Ireland, Germany. England? Potato famine.

Probably England. No. Nelson feels English, no. Nelson feels English. I think Nelson Irish Irish Yeah I think it's English

Look at Nelson name origin sexy English and Scottish English and Scottish Yeah Son of Neil Son of Neil

I like that It makes sense Neal's I like that Okay What does Kelly mean What does it mean Yeah

Then look up what does Denele and mean Oh Descendant of Keylock Who who Who is like a warrior Brightheaded

Frequent Churchgoer Brightheaded and troublesome. It means frequent churchgoer and warrior and troublesome. How are they all? Well, because if you're a troublesome warrior, you have to go to church a lot.

Yeah, that's a good point. It kind of like offset it. Do Donnellan. Do Dunellan. This feels like when you look up your name on Urban Dictionary. Oh, yeah. It's like the hottest, sexiest guy. Yeah, yeah.

Ooh, Irish, descendant of Dammem. Which is form of the personal name. World ruler? Wait, look at clan location, though. Plan location? No, Dalai Gowan family is your name? The Donovan family request indicated the family is a prominent sept of the U-Main. U-E-Main.

Oh, that's hilarious. What does that mean? Oh. You were up in Orno. In Galway. In Gawain. That doesn't go away, but U-E-Main? I was playing, I met...

Can you, wait, can you Google one more thing for me? Mm-hmm. Just Google Dinellon. All right, I'm third. Oh. What's going to say? that's one thing I got on you guys I know I'm the look up feathers stone

that does it count because you picked that damn bro you're not even on your face I'm not even on the fucking purse page damn that sucks dang how does like an outdoor company come up before me on Instagram

I don't know they saw hell intense this is brutal that's pretty intense yeah I wouldn't even go this far that outdoors company is pretty intense Shut the fuck up, dude. That outdoor company. Shut the fuck.

Wait, how do you knock him up at all? Yeah, what are the odds of that? That's like a glinch. Okay. Do you want to hear what I've been thinking about all day? Yeah. So I got, when we were in college, I got a new putter. Yeah.

And I gave my old one to Peter Buell. Yeah. And he's been using it forever. And I want it back. So I've Venmoed him to ship it back to me. because he got a new punter. And I can send it back in to have it like refurbished.

And I got to, I get to pick all the, all the new things on it. And I'm having a lot of fun. Thinking of grips. Thinking of shaft bands. I saw a comment on the pod ones recently that made me laugh.

And it was like, Rusty, I think you're just one club away from, from like breaking 70 or something. That is very good. I don't, yeah. Wait, so I'm confused. Why do you get to send it?

He's sending it to you? Pete's sending it back to me from Dallas. And then like you can send in your Scotty Cameron at any time to the custom shop and have them just refurbish it, put a new grip on it, put a new shaft in it. They'll redo all the paint, whatever. And it was my grandpa's old petter, so I just want to refurbish it. I'm not going to use it, but I might use it. But I'm going to leave it in my room.

and I've been having a lot of fun looking at the head cover. It's like build a bear. It's build a bear for it's build a bear for guys who smack for guys who smack. Smack iron. Guys you smack.

Dude, your rupeers freak up. It's going to fall down. Oh. I feel like a serial killer. I was going to say you look like one day. Yeah, I was thinking about that. I met a girl this week. weekend outside my apartment complex because the fire alarm went off.

Oh, yes. Which apparently you did this as well. Yeah, he told me that I thought he was like rustying me. Oh, yeah. He came up to me anyway. Whatever. Yeah, so tell the story. Yeah, so we were outside for the fire alarm.

We started chatting. I felt like we hit it off. And she was telling me about how like she has this hornets nest by her patio that like the building refuses to get rid of for her. And so I thought it would be a nice thing from the advice of like other women in my life where like, you should leave a note on her door and be like, hey, I'll take care of it for you, here's my phone number, here's my room number, whatever.

So yesterday morning, before I left for work, I left the note on her door, come back last night, notes gone, no text from her. And now I feel like a serial. Yeah, you got to move. Pervert. You do have to move. I have to move. She lives right across the hall for me.

You can't, you, is the note flirty? No. Hey, sexy. You have nothing to worry about. You talked to her about taking... You said you told her you would take care of it, right? But she wouldn't just be like, hey, thanks. You guys my number?

Give her a couple days. There's a chance she's at home crafting the perfect text. No, it's over. It's over. It's so over. I have to move. I have to break my lease. I just signed a new lease.

I don't have to break it already. You just have to pay... Eat the rent, too. You're going to have to pay double rent. How many hours ago was this? I mean, it was yesterday morning. So it's been over 24 hours I mean

No she'll text you If she doesn't text you Wait that's a pretty good story though That's a good I'm excited to debate the merits of this Sorry I should just be doing Well like Izzy recommended that I like Buy a plant and then like when I leave

For the weekend be like do you mind watering my plant While I'm gone But then my hair lady was like No you should offer To take down the hornet's nest Because then like You know you kind of get the intro And maybe she's like oh I'll cook you dinner

as like a thank you. The Izzy thing? I think the Hornet Nest was a good move. Did you have a plan for how you were, sorry, what were you going to say? No. No plan for the Hornet's Nest. I was going to cross that bridge when I came. You're sitting at dinner with her just covered in hives.

Yeah. Yeah, honestly, I took care of it. No problem. It was easy. The Izzy thing would be funny to, so you buy a plant. You're like, hey, can you come over? I'm gone for the weekend. Can you come over and water this plant, right?

but then you set up like cool shit for her to find around the house like there's like stacks of money on the table there's like i come back i'm robbed all my furniture all my clothes are gone yeah like you you hang like a you can buy like a grammy yeah you put a picture of you in like snoop yeah yeah yeah it's like you and your grammy with a grammy yeah it's you and like every world leader and she's like who is yeah you and kim jong un playing golf surely there's somebody that listens to us that has a Grammy right that would like let me borrow it for like I'm gonna be honest you say surely surely if they got a Grammy let's think about this if they got a Grammy they listen into like some way smarter shit 50,000 50,000 people on average listen to every episode right yeah so 50,000 divided by 8 billion okay that's not a fair hang on listen lucid we don't have viewer we don't have viewers in like 90% of countries okay okay

What do we? How many people are in the U.S.? Like $350 million or something? Yeah. So, I mean, there is a one percentage? Also, like, we live in, we're in L.A. We're... Someone's got to know somebody with a Grammy that I could just rent for the weekend. I think I might need to know someone with the Grammy. Really? Not, like, well, enough to ask for the Grammy, but...

Is a chance of a rap? I think, well, everyone's born... My buddy Luke, I'm sure knows someone with a Grammy. Everyone's born with two Grammys, right? And then, like, sometimes they die. Yes. Well, my buddy Luke You can borrow my

Grampy. Do you think that guy You think Travis McCoy has a Grammy? Yeah, I bet he probably does. I wish I was a billionaire So fucking bad. Oh, Noah Kahn.

I could text Noel Kahn. Oh, wait, really? Does he have a Grammy? I think. I could put it like a ring camera to keep an eye on the Grammy while she's... Or you could put a ring camera

on her door pointing inward. Ooh, that's a good idea. That's a good idea. Well, maybe after work so they go knock on the door and just beg Hey, did you get my note? No. I think I'd rather kill him.

myself. Dude, we got another we went for it though. We got another fucking note at our... No, no, no, it's not just about going for it. Now I can never step outside my apartment. I'm going to have to, like, wear a hoodie every time I leave my apartment. I think you're, I and I know I'm like the king of over thinking these things, but

there's a chance she just like either figured it out or like didn't take it as flirting or whatever and it was just like, I'm not going to make this guy take my... You don't think she would like just text me and be like, got to taken care of? I think she probably will at some point. She might have like a boyfriend.

But what if she was like, hey, got it taken care of? Also, I have a boyfriend. What if she... But I feel like if you have a boyfriend and you get that note, you're probably like, ah, I'm not going to... I've never seen her with a boyfriend. Would you rather get no text or her boyfriend text you a picture of them? And it says, she's busy, little bro. And he's clearly covered in hornet stains.

Oh, my. I can see the hornet's in the background. I'll just come over to take care of it when you guys aren't there. She's busy little bro. We got another note at our door from a different neighbor. The rich get richer. We're like note maxing. I texted the new neighbors.

They were like, hey, we're throwing a party. If you want to come, it's going to be loud. It was like a simultaneous like, sorry for the noise, but whatever. But so I was texting the other neighbor about this, like, we have to be. the most note heavy apartment complex in... Definitely.

Los Angeles. No one else is leaving notes like this. Yeah, we got a note from our neighbor once. What is that? You're the worst neighbors we've ever had.

Oh, yeah. Was that like one... You threw one party? We threw one party and I... I... There were like a few people left at the house

when I was leaving. I was like, all right, party's over. Like, everyone's going to this bar. And so I kind of shepherded everyone out to this bar. But I didn't realize a few people just didn't leave my house

and were in the backyard blast of music until 2 a.m. Like I shepherd everyone out at like 11.30. Which I think 1130, you're fine. 2 a.m., that's like, that's a bad neighbor. Yeah. So it is. But you're the worst neighbor we've ever had. Yeah, they were being dramatic.

I don't even know who said it. Every neighbor I've met is great. I actually just met a new neighbor too. There's this cat that always hangs in our yard. Yeah. And I was like, about to go on a run yesterday. And she was like, hey, do you live in this house? I was like, I think my cat always goes in your yard.

Do you mind, like, could I come in and just see her? and we've been like calling her like rosy or something i think dylan made it up but then i was like what is your name she goes baby kitty that's what pete tarling calls this cat really i mean this girl was not lactose intolerant if you had my dad so i i don't i don't know i don't i was pretty bummed when she said that she like it's the worst name of her was it was she cute at first to you and then after that you were like oh yeah i mean i don't i don't it wasn't like that but it was just like i was like that's the worst name i've ever heard for a cat lie to me i mean even even like an ugly

name like gertrude would be like oh that's at least like kind of truity truity yeah but like baby kitty like you didn't even pick anything that's like what you know when they say like the opposite of love is indifference yeah that's what that feels like i mean i hopefully if she listens this i'm sorry bro but like that's like the cat's government name is baby kitty i was like what's her name baby kitty or it's like maybe they just wanted to go in my yard then i was thinking like she panicked oh that's funny check it out yeah um what were we talking about that do you think guys get the ick what you're a guy yeah i was just well i want to see what your guys answered uh yeah all the time holy shit okay yeah i uh i i met holy shit because i just had one

happened to me. What did you get the egg about? It was not good. What was it? It's not good. Guy was a booger hanging out. Cut that injured. Okay.

Do you ever get the ick? It's like you remembered it. I don't really believe in like I just get embarrassed. I mean there were obviously I think anyone obviously there's things that other people do that they don't like but like the ick the way that you

just talked about is so like binary where it's like I liked you and now I immediately don't like you at all like

no no no I believe in that I was out at drinks last night and a spider started walking across our table

yeah and I took the little you know and they've had like a menu that's like on a stand yeah I just took the menu

stand and just put it over the spider yeah it was like a cup and then I was like oh now that spider is like trapped

yeah in there and if the next person picks up the menu, a spider's going to jump out of them. And that's like my worst nightmare. I'm trying to picture the menu stand. It's fully enclosed. It was just a little like a little tin cup.

QR codes? Yeah, and you scanned the QR code. It was at Father's Office if you've ever been to. Never been there. I've never been there. First of all. I've been to my father's office. Isn't it great?

Well, my father's office. Oh, okay. So speaking of, I tried to, I'm driving to Father's Office last night. And I go, Siri, give me directions to father's office. And it says, I don't have a location for your dad's office. That's funny. You sound like a little, like, rich British white boy. Siri, give me directions to Debbie's office.

Father's office. I, uh, and make a pit stop at the stables. I've got to see about a girl. A girl. I'm gay, boy. I'm, and I'm so posh. I'm gay. I need new pantaloons for my quinceanera.

I'm Hispanic, believe it or not. I'm lactate X. Bet you didn't see that coming now, Cockney. He's like unbelievably rich but also like really kind of woke. Yeah, yeah. Cockney. Cockney is what I did to my boyfriend Brandon. last night.

I made him fold his knee into a vagina and then I fucked it. Can I go to the bathroom? What is Cockney? All right. I got to talk about the nostalgia that comes with a cinnamon roll, okay? Every Christmas morning my mom's making

cinnamon rolls. We used to go to the mall. You ever go to the mall? Of course. I'm a guy. I would get cinnamon rolls at the pretzel stand or like sometimes at the gas station

I would get them with my buddy and we would eat like five of them. But now you don't have to get them at the gas station because Bearbells sells them in the form of a bar. And here's a pretty great endorsement of the cinnamon roll, cinnamon bun flavor. It's literally gone. I ate it during this episode. I was staring at it all the whole time and I was like, I'm eating that. Guys, Bear Bells is the number one protein bar in the U.S. They make protein bars with no added sugar and they taste as good as a candy bar. Cinnamon bun is a soft bar that packs 16 grams of protein, their bars strike the perfect balance between flavor, texture, and function.

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If I could wake up tomorrow and be a better communicator, I would. If I could wake up tomorrow and be the quarterback of the Jets, I also would. Listen, both of those can't happen. One of them could, and the communicator one is I think where BetterHelp could come in, okay? Better is a feeling, guys, defined by you. And for Better Help, it's a better help therapist who really gets you. focus on global emotional well-being with thousands of therapists and millions of members in over 100 countries. It's progress. And it's getting better at communicating for me.

Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash PD. That's betterh-H-E-L-P.com slash PD. Let's get back into the episode. I'm a classic mom. Where my classic moms at, bro? I need myself. I need myself a classic mom, I think. I don't, if I not to not to get back on the having women at having children excuse me sorry not thinking about women right now not to get back on the having children at 40 thing but I think I would like my wife to be a classic mom

I think I need like I need like ill-fitting jeans I think I need like kind of embarrassing nickname my mom would call me Jackie Doodle in front of all my friends she could have it going on are you gonna let him fucking talk to me like that yeah that's his fucking wife what are we talking about yes Andrew obviously my mom had it going on okay that's that fucking stupid question yeah i remember getting dropped off at a dance and uh may i have this dance you ever heard that song chance the rapper Francis in the lights featuring chance the

song's good always fucking i didn't go do you didn't go did you no no i wanted to go on sunday but then i got sad as i didn't all right I want to address, I want to address it. I just want to get it out in the open. Do it. I got a little drunk the other day and I may, I kind of was spamming my Instagram story and I apologize for that. I got a little.

When? Oh, I missed it. On Saturday night. Did you take them down? No. Just a bunch of photos of me and Harper just over and over and over and over and over. I think I did. It was like five times.

I woke up the morning and was like, they're all like kind of the same photo. Yeah, I think I did. I lumped them together. Yeah. I was out. though so I think you probably benefited from a lot of people that were also hammered yeah yeah

that was I told you I got that was the night I got kicked out of the bar that's right yeah maybe that's why you got kicked out the guy was like get your fucking influencer ass out of here too many Instagram stories all right ID I want everyone ID in your left hand stories in your right hand

if you have more than three you're not coming in this fucking bar yeah guess what I had for breakfast this morning hit me pumpkin spice latte oh my lord For breakfast? Oh, my lordy. Oh, man. Yeah, dude.

I mean, I wasn't. You play too much. Man, I do play too much. Yeah. So I go into the, I go into the pavilions. Was it pavilions? Pavillians. Pavilions.

Pavilions. I go to the pavilions. Starbucks. Pumpkin spice latte. Bring it outside. I'm listening to kiss me by six pence none of the richer. I was like, am I in Gilmore Girls or is it just me? I had a nice walk.

that had me feeling the same way. I went, called brew. Follow mode. I've been listening to this EP. You remember that song I really liked when we're in Catalina, Small Town Rockstar? Yeah.

Ruffed up in one night, man you hit it at the ballpark. Here we go in a dear, man, but you felt like a small town rock star. That was really good. That was like a single that came out, and then she put out a whole EP. And for some reason, I just started listening to the EP this week. And it's so good. And is it making you feel you're going

fallout mode. Yeah, it's just kind of my classic. I like soft rock with a female vocalist. Yeah, that's like you. That's like your em. Yeah, I like the fuzzy rock. Is it like fuzzy rock? Yeah, kind of, yeah.

On the EP? Catch and release. Check that one out. Hannah Brewer is her name. Because she, every time she ended up reaching out and then. Did she really? I think it happened while we were on Catalina.

She was like, so many, I don't know who you are, Willie D from Playdate podcast, but so many people have said they found your song because of you. Found her. because of you so I was like where do you find these songs um that one Scott sent me okay but I don't really know I think he just found it on Spotify really and then the German one I found on TikTok okay still been mainlining the German one a lot of people have been asking

to the mains yeah what's that a lot of people have been asking about that one like I get tons of DMs that are like what was that German song again it's unreal I'm like well I told you at the bar I was like paying to get it on yeah yeah yeah I'm like oh my nice so that's a important there's this part where she goes M-E-U I have like little

hand motions I've created for myself and I do you have like ASL if you ever see me running on the boardwalk and I'm going like mm-mm-mm

that's what I'm doing have gang signs on the board block I that is like it's definitely looks embarrassing if you ever see me doing it when you're running

yeah but I like I like when I'm running and a good song comes on I like I sing along and I'll do like drum solos that's awesome

while you're running yeah I mean I definitely living a fucking nerd, but I don't care. I mean, everyone out there is like a, like, from Latvia or something. Like, I feel like, a real place. You're not there for very long. You're not there, you're not there to like dwell in the. Yeah, also, I feel, I've seen a few guys running where you can tell they're jamming and I'm like, I think it looks kind of cool. Yeah, I am trying to get to that point where, where you can realize no one here. No one here is thinking about what you're doing.

And it makes me run faster. Like, if I'm like, like, I'll be like, oh, I'm gonna get us on a tiff on. And I like, and I like pick a little pep in my step. Yeah. You've completely gotten over the embarrassment at all. I do it every, I've done that my whole life. For some reason, it's like a safe space. Like I feel like when I'm running, I'm like zoned out and I just, even during my races and stuff, I'll be.

Yeah. I had a, I had an embarrassment mode last night where I, yeah, waited on the corner on the other side of the street instead of going in and sitting by myself for like two minutes. For like a lady? Yeah. I can't, like I cannot. Yeah. I cannot go into a bar alone.

Some like lapse in my. I think that's fine if to wait for if you're meeting someone maybe too, right? Yeah. You didn't wait for her to go in and sit down, did you? No, no, no. We also like know each other. Like this wasn't like a, this wasn't like a first date or date. God, really.

Wait, so it wasn't a date? Not really. He was a one-on-one dinner with a girl? We had drinks. We're having beers. It's like what shit you do with your homie? And she was drinking beer? She was having the IPAs.

She was drinking heavier beer than I was. What was his name? Bro, not the Nelson Nukk. He couldn't even get through it. We've been Nelson Nukes. We've been Nelson Nuk. Take cover. Get in the shelter.

Grab all the canned food. Fuck your wife one last time before the Nelson nuke wipes this fucking house off the face of the fucking earth. Get into the shelter. Grab the children. Get them down. All the crops are gone. The seeds. The seeds.

Get the fucking seeds. Because then we can grow more crops. Get the fucking seeds. Forget the crops. The seeds are more practical. I would say once or twice an episode. episode I start something and then you get on the train and then I wish I could slam on the brakes and I just have to I have to accept that I start rolling first.

Oh man. I think that, okay, can you do, is it possible to do New Year's resolutions just like in the middle of the year because I think I want to start one. Yeah. Or maybe I can just have a resolution. I think you can have resolution. That's one of those things. the

Mitchell brothers were talking about this I saw a clip of theirs where there were certain words that you only hear with like other things I guess you could be like we came to a resolution but I feel like

I never hear about resolutions kind of like smithereens like you only hear about it if someone's getting blown to that I want to I got blown to do a leap up once I really like

I really liked that one yeah that was good I'm sorry go ahead I think I'm in a new resolution of mine is I'm going to start going into bars alone because I used to do you remember I used to do meatloaf night at R&D it I just stopped doing it well I got a girlfriend and then we she started coming yeah I and then we went to dinner do you want to start doing like a like a night where we both go to a bar by ourselves separate bars yeah yeah yeah yeah maybe we could like play chess no oh

yeah I mean what if we did the thing where like we go to a bunch of bars together and one night and we just film it like a blog I don't think it would work Yeah, I probably wouldn't work. Do you know our ride tonight is a hearse? What? A hearse? A hearse. Like a horse-drawn carriage?

No, like what they put like a coffin in. You're thinking a horse. A hearse-strong carriage. Oh, they put a coffin in it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so it's going to be haunted? Sorry.

I think this is confusing. It's the thing that normally carries coffins. It won't have a coffin in it tonight, to my knowledge. There's been coffins. in it. Probably. Have you ever seen coffin flop? No, what's that? Actually, no. It's on cornucop TV. It's just like hours and hours of footage and like dead bodies flopping out of shit. I haven't seen that yet. That's cool. Where are you guys going for these haunted bars? Is it in K-town? Okay, that feels racist. Oh my god, did I tell you about my night in K-town?

No, it's haunted because they're Korean. Realize how that sounds? Oh, oh, classic stereotype. All Koreans are ghosts. Name one scary Korean movie. Parasite. Fuck, that's a good one. All right, mug moment. This episode is brought to you by Mug Vanilla Howler. I have been crushing these things. They are delicious, and they make me have that dog in me.

That was a pretty good bark. That was probably the best bark I've ever had. I've got that dog in me. Woof, okay? This episode's brought you by Mug Vanilla Howler. Indulge in Mug's Super Cream. me indulgent new flavor. It tastes like a root beer float in a can.

It's nostalgic. It's frothy and it's guaranteed to help you let out your inner dog. I had that dog in me last night when, yeah, Willie and I were chasing some ghosts and I crushed a vanilla howler and I said, bring it on, ghosts. I got that dog. You said that? To myself. Okay.

Got it. Interesting. So next time you're craving something golden frothy, crack open a mug vanilla howler. find mug vanilla holler at your local store or head to www.mugrootbeer.com slash find dash mug to find out how you can get your paws on some mug and be sure to throw them a follow online at mug root beer let's get back into the episode so i went to chichi you remember chichi what everything is just about fucking chichi and chach out with you it's fucking disgusting what you guys love chichi what is chichi what that you remember the isn't

chichi like a vagina thing no it's the bar in ktown For the record. You have an iPad and you like... Oh, yes. I didn't know what it was called. I didn't know what it was called. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where did you go?

I went to Chi Chi. It has to be like three or four weeks ago now. Okay. Where you can sit bed on drinks with other tables. You can bed on drinks and everything. But they ended up, we showed up the entire staff who's drunk. We're like getting our IDs checked. And they got, like...

He was like, I just have to do this like as a formality, but like I'm too drunk to really like check these IDs. And we were like, okay, cool. And then we sat down and they were like, we're actually closing early we need you guys to leave because they're too drunk maybe the security guard led in so many minors that they were like they were like it's too many well we were the only table there also so um in the book i'm reading the this the girl sleeps of the minor like it like a guy of drills yeah nice oh that's so wait there were no other people in there

uh there was like one other table and they weren't down to bat where with you? Like a minor with a pickax? They were closing anyway, so we didn't even try to play a game with them. Okay. Anyway, so it was kind of like a busted night, but we had already like made the trip out there. So we were like, let's find something else fun to do. So we're like, surely there's a karaoke bar

still open. So we tried to go to this karaoke bar. We get dropped off by our Uber, and the karaoke bar is like closed. The karaoke bar we went to that night. It was across the street from that place, by the way. That one wasn't open. Okay. And... What time was it? It was like

11 p.m., but it was like a Wednesday. Oh. And I had some friends in town, so I was trying to show them the brighter side of L.A. Yeah. Which did not happen this night. Wait, is Ketown the brighter side of L.A.? I feel like that's like, Chi Chi's like a good

vibe. Kedong is sick. Oh, yeah. But I just meant like, at night it's definitely like a little like grimy, right? Yeah. It's like normal. Yeah. Well, listen to this. Because so a taxi driver ends up showing

up after our Uber leaves. And he goes, oh, you guys want to do karaoke? You guys want to do karaoke? We're like, yeah, yeah, we're looking for a bar. I do no one that's open. He goes, yeah, I'll take you guys there. Come in my taxi. And we're like, perfect.

So we're riding this taxi to this unnamed karaoke spot. And he's just chatting with us and he's like, you guys like girls? And we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we like girls. He's like, you guys like hot girls? They're our favorite. That's our favorite kind. Like, that's our favorite kind. And then he was like, okay, perfect, perfect.

Then I go, well, wait, wait. And I was like, but not like prostitutes, right? And then he just went silent. Yeah. It didn't say anything. The rest of the drive. And we show up to a blacked out bar with no signage, nothing. And a guy like peeks out of the door and is like, uh.

You guys that like hot girls? Yeah, he was like, I heard you like hot girls. like checks, right? And he was like, yeah, it's, uh, we're only doing bottle service and tables right now, and it's $600 on a Wednesday night at a bar. And we're like, hey, be honest with us. Is this like a prostitution thing? And he was like, yeah. And we're like, okay, we'll just go home now. And he was like, yeah, that's probably best. Do you think he gets like paid to take people there? Uh, yeah. Oh, the taxi driver? He didn't even charge us for the ride. Really? I don't know. He just spun off the moment we got out of the car. And we were like,

Perfect. And we just ordered Uber and we went home for the night. What's the password? Checks. That's crazy. Do you think they even have karaoke? He was like texting like, he was like karaoke.

Well, I didn't even know like that stuff still like happen, especially not in K-Town. A prostitution bar? So what do you go in and then? So our Uber driver, I was trying to like be cool with the Uber driver on the way back. And I was like, by the way, we weren't just in there. We weren't doing anything in there. total miscommunication. Because I didn't want him to think that we were just in there, you know, soliciting sex.

And he was like, he was like, ah, man, he goes, I served many, many years in the Korean War. This is how it goes. And he just listed off exactly how the entire night goes, which basically means like you go in there, you pay $600 for a table. Then he says, like, a decently hot girl will come. She'll chat with you the whole night. She'll drink some of your, like, drinks and everything like that. you'll order a couple more bottles and then even hotter girl will come out and then you talk with her some and then if you pay more money then she'll go home with you but he was like spared no detail on like how these

things went but the only thing i could think of is like would she goes back to your house or you don't there's not like a room back there no she'll like go home with you i guess at least in the why wouldn't they just send you the hot one first so that's what i was curious about and then i would think it would be the other way around Yeah, I thought it was gonna be like the decently hot girl comes out, you like are having fun and then like as you get drunker, they just send some like not as hot lady out. But imagine you're like the B tier girl. Imagine you're like on the front line. I would be like, what is my role here? Why don't we just send the closer in immediately?

It's like the setup man and the closer. Yeah. Maybe it's like to so that you see the second girl in relation to the first girl. Oh, and you're like, holy shit up. Fires your loins up. All right, we should, we do have to leave for a spooky bar crawl in 30 minutes, so we should get onto our segments. Yep, let's do it. Do you want to do your second segment? Yeah, it's a mailbag.

Nice. Oh, nice. It's actually related to something that we talked about early in the podcast. Piss and come? Can you imagine it's a, if that box, Andrew, if that box is full of a, you know, a combination of fluids that come out of your penis, gonna be bummed out you opened it okay

can I open it uh it says read me first not good at that dear will and rusty I hope this finds you well it was a great adventure making these stickers for you guys sprouting from my appreciation

for the pod and all the laughs you bring my name is Josh I'm from York Pennsylvania right across the river from Lancaster. You know about the War of the Roses? Google War of the Roses. Will you got me to watch Andor.

I loved every damn minute of it. I bet you feel like a real dick now, Will. Look at War the Roses. 15th century civil war between the houses of Lancaster and York. Oh, that's awesome. All my homies hate York. They used to do a baseball game that Barnstormers would play The Revolution. And they would do a home-in-home where they would play two games,

double-header, one in Lancaster, one in York on the same day. That's so sick. or the roses. Rusty, you've put me on to do too many a song to both of you. Thank you. Shout out to the goats, Andrew and Lauren.

Much love Josh. P.S. If you guys ever need it. It's like something sexy? It said offline. So I had to read it. Can I see the offline part? Yeah.

It's just, it's not anything crazy. What if it's like about his body? What if it's a nude? Oh my God. I would not have written. It's just him describing in vivid details his penis.

Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. These are sick. That's awesome. I'm a cowboy. What is it? Mine says cash. It's me sitting on a...

That is sick. A throne. That's fantastic. Thank you so much, Josh. Should we do... Should we do... These are sick. I'm putting one somewhere right now.

Should we hear some pitches, Andrew? You went to like a prostitute sex stand and you didn't bring it up for four weeks? Yeah, that is kind of... Yeah, I kind of forgot about it. It was right before I went to Vegas. Okay. Hello, Skittles, Eminems, and Reese's pieces. Rees's.

Rees's pieces. Rees' pieces doesn't make any fucking sense. I'm tired of people saying that shit. Reeses. It didn't say PCs anyway. He said Rees' pieces. We didn't. Andrew did.

I would never say that. It doesn't say Reese. It doesn't say PCs. Andrew said it. When? Like 30 seconds ago. You say PCs, Andrew? No.

Oh. I would never. Thank you. Do you realize how crazy you sound? I must say. I co-sworn at home. I have a video idea pitch inspired by a quick throwaway comment in the most recent episode, the 50,436 sub-celebration you guys were talking about when you first got the talk from your parents

or the opt-in program that Willie did with his parents. I think Rusty asked Andrew, when did you get the talk? And then maybe Willie said from Rusty's parents, jokingly implying that Rusty's parents are the ones that give the birds and bees talk to all children. Here's my video idea. You guys actually do that. get different versions of the talk from each other's parents or other parents of Friday Beers employees or even just a random set of older parents. I'm high level. I don't know how

that would be arranged. I've never been a logistics guy, but the idea of grown men getting the talk from parents that aren't their own just makes me laugh thinking about it, especially if one of the grown men is rusty. Is that something? I'm 32 and my son is seven months old. Shout out to Oliver. So I have a few weeks before I need to sit him down and give him the talk, but I'd love to hear other people's renditions. You know what? Now that I think about it, this idea sucks and probably won't get a lot of views, but there's something here. Is that something? Love and Good Vibes, your pal, Jack Tintyah. Tintyah, oh, I said it right. Well, Jack Tintyah, first of all, I want you to know, I wholeheartedly agree. Your idea sucks. But I do think it would be a funny idea.

It would be funny if, like, in the neighborhood, what if it was like everyone's parents, gives the talks like another family's kids. Yeah, just to avoid a little bit of... It's just like a little awkward. Or like a service that your dad offers is like, hey, 20 bucks. I'll give you the talk. I'll tell them about sex. Here, Jack, I have a counter offer for you

when your son is old enough if you still want me to, or if you ever wanted me to, Will and I will sit down and we'll give him the talk. I will talk to Oliver. In 14 years. But I'm telling you, the way I explain it, might be weird because it's never...

The way that I was just... described what it's like has never been what it's like for me how so well they don't tell you about the screaming yeah your own my own yelling you don't know how much sorry yes my own screaming jesus christ they don't i mean they don't tell you how much your ass hurts after yeah they don't yeah it reminds me of the nathan fielder video where they record the dog saying that he's in heaven now and he's like oh yeah so sorry i died yeah it's like an ancient guy right yeah yeah i will uh I'll tell them everything I know about it, which is not very much. Yeah.

Do you, I mean, like, of all the available information about sex that's out there, what percentage of it do you think you know? Less than 1%. Really? Less than 0%. Yeah, Andrew, definitely less than 0%. Yeah. Like half? I just learned about it yesterday.

I mean, I don't know how you define the scope of that, but probably half. There are only so many combinations of like ways you can like move your body Before it's like so you think bro you never seen me man the mad my damn name you've sex side to side right? Mm-mm. You can have sex from the other side of the room mm-mm will so good it he doesn't even have to be in the same room as the girl Mm-mm-mm-mm-hmm will be watching well no, bro you over three right now okay I'm so good I can do it well I'm gonna do well no no nope no Oh, for four. I'm so good at sex.

I've had it with women I've never even met. All right. Do you have a pitch? I do. So I, I recently got a speeding ticket. And... Really? Yeah.

What were you? I told you this. He was driving too fast, remember? Driving too fast. Well, I just feel like LA cops have, like, way better things to do. That's literally what I was, like, perplexed about. I'd never seen anyone pulled over. Brett Dodenhoff had a great story that he told us when I told him this where he said the first time

Wait, he got what? He's coming on. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, he can tell it. He can tell it later. So I got a speeding ticket and I was thinking there's cruise control, right? But that's not like to be like, like, I want to go this fast and not any faster. Yeah.

But that's not really realistic like, you know, in your day-to-day non-highway driving. I would like a mode where it's like, you know, car play. knows the speed limit and I want to be able to push a button and it be like you it will not let me go more than like five miles an hour faster than the speed limit yeah that's actually not a bad idea I just think like although I guess there is like situations in which like something happens and like the safest thing for you to do would be able to like accelerate around something it would be the same there's a button there's the same like cancel button as it is on cruise control I think that could be a pretty good idea or just be like but it doesn't push you it doesn't push you it doesn't

doesn't tie you to the top. No, no, you can go all the way down to zero. It maxes out your bottom, but the moment you press the break, then it goes away. Yeah, maybe like the moment you, like, scream, like, fuck. Then, yeah, that's not bad idea. How fast where you going? I was going 50 and, like, a 35. Damn, that's something not bad.

No, it was like, and it was one of those roads where, like, everyone's going that fast. And I just happened to be the guy that got, like, snagged. He said I was doing a little bit of weaving. Like, I think he would have let it go if I was, like, in one lane going that far, but I, like, had, like, gone around a guy and then, like, came, but whatever. I mean, mathematically, that's the equivalent of going about 100 miles an hour on the highway. I'm just saying if we do, like, fractions.

Yeah, you put a lot of people in danger. That's actually a good point. Yeah, wow. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I, but I have fucking points on my license now. my dude my insurance is six hundred dollars a month now six hundred and ten dollars a month what was it before

like four or something that's bummer which was four i think it was already high i don't know but all right can we do uh can we do this guy rocks yeah this guy's rocks i do that one of those okay this guy this is my favorite video i've seen all week it's from a woman named amber and either her or her husband someone recently got a RC car that is really high powered so let's I love RC cars oh also Will Levis is on the Jets now yeah buddy let's go all right watch this oh my gosh you got merch

Run over by her own RC car Oh Jesus Christ How does it even like generate that much That was also it completely breaking if that hit her at full speed I think it would like kill her Break her ankle probably How does she knock it out of the way though that that's pretty inexcusable I think she tried to jump over it All right here we're also the one

One in control. That's crazy. Yeah. I used to think I had a friend in Woody. But I'm not so sure anymore. I paused. I used to think I had a... I want you to think, like, really, really...

I'm going to describe a scenario. And I want you to really, really try and imagine that that's your life. imagine if that was your mom. And she's posting stuff like this. Her head is so big. You just have to deal with this on a regular basis. Yeah, I don't really want to, but I am right now. I got another one I can say too.

Oh, she's an I-F-G. What's that? Or INFJ. Introverted, neurotic. Will's an H-H-H-H-H. In-F-O-G. Horny, horny. I tried to take a personality test today

and then at the end they wanted me to pay a dollar 25 for it and they wasted like 30 minutes in my life. She's introverted intuitive feeling and judging. That makes sense. I was kind of feeling that from the video. Yeah, I could feel that. Would you guys like to hear it teach me something? Yes.

So, when Obama came out to announce that we had killed Osama bin Laden, Yes. Apparently, like, the majority of, like, staffers and people that worked at the White House, a lot of them were at the Capitals game. There was, like, a playoff Capitals game happening. Okay. And so when it happened, they had to call a few of them to, like, come from the Capitals game, like, to come help set up for the whatever.

Yeah. So the cameraman that's filming Obama announced that we got Osama bin Laden is wearing an Ovechkin jersey. Isn't that awesome? Is that real? Pull up the Obama, Osama bin Laden cameraman. It, like, fired me up for some reason. I don't know why. Yeah, go to images.

Yeah, that's second one. That's funny. Isn't that sick? Yeah, that's crazy. Do you like that? Wow. Yeah, that's an awesome. Teach me something.

I was trying to think about it had one because I've been seeing people comment like, Willie never has one. And I don't. Bruh, I'll have one tomorrow. You're not trying to teach? How can I teach when I'm still learning? Ooh!

I talk about the War of the Roses. Yeah, okay, that was a good one. Lancaster was the Red Rose City, and York was the Red Rose, yeah, city, and York was a white rose. And so that's why. Andrew, can you Google oldest tombstone in the U.S.?

Because I saw some fucking old ones in Booth Bay, and I'm curious like how they were fucking It is the Knights Tombstone located in Jamestown, Virginia dating back to 1627 Oh! What do you see in Booth Bay? Like 1600s. And in Portland there's,

which doesn't even like make sense. Like they were up in this random fucking part of Maine. I think they were landing up there, bro. Anywhere on the East Coast, like, you know, people weren't perfect with their... Oh, so they just were like... My ancestors... Oh, fuck, we're up back a hot. My mom's family that's from Ohio all came in through Maine.

The Libby's. Huh. Bro. Libby, Libby, Libby on the label, label, label. It's a very, very fitting name for your family. Why? The Libby's. Oh, because we're Libetards.

Yeah. Like if Andrew's family was called like... The Magas. The Magas, yeah. Yeah. Like, if mine was called like... The RFKs. The Maha.

Maha. I still want to see R. F.K. By Jim, apparently he goes... He lives there? He lives at you? He's, uh... No, I think it's like when he's here, man. Now serving in D.C.

Yeah. Serving country. Mm-hmm. Serving country. That's, yeah. I like that. I think I'd go up to him. Really?

I don't know. Peace your mind? Well, I would be curious, because he knew my aunt. Oh, that's right. Yeah. They used to like, would they, like, would they like date? Or did I make... No, they worked together.

It worked together. Well, I mean, he was doing. Well, I mean, he was doing. court-ordered community service. Yes. She was like, it was like an environmental defense law thing. What crime did he commit?

It was like the heroin thing? He sold heroin, yeah. Can we roleplay? Like, you're on the bench press. Yeah. You're RFK. Yeah. And then you come up to him after he just hit a clean 350. No grips? Hey, sorry to interrupt. I think you knew my aunt Mary Dennellan.

Mary. I can't do it. married an Ellen yeah yeah took her on a few dates oh prude dinner was $37 didn't put out prude that's my dead on oh Jesus Christ you gotta tell me she's dead first right I think that's kind of like that's kind of rule number one because I told you the story before and I said he went to her funeral oh man okay well so for our next RFK role play if there's any I'll let you know ahead of time. Let me know ahead of time.

I think I was like kind of picturing Aunt Deany. Yeah. He's Aunt Mary. Okay. Well. Aunt Mary who went by church. At least I, in, in, on the bright side. Yeah.

I didn't say the opposite. That he was approved. Like I could have. Yeah. Yeah. I see what you were saying. I see. Yeah.

Well, that's. I could have said like shit. Oh, God. I mean, it was. be like way worse. I hope my dad doesn't listen to this. Is it his sister? Yeah.

All right. Sorry, Mr. Donlon. She was apparently the life of the party. People say that I was like, I'm like, we would have gotten along. Okay. So she would, I think she is watching up in heaven probably and probably laughing. Laughing. Yeah.

Hopefully. Okay. And Mr. Donnellan, if you're watching, I want you to know, Will didn't tell me ahead of time that she had passed away. And for the record, I was saying she was a prude, which was better than. better than the alternative. Right, right.

Like that would be crazy if I was like... Yeah. I never even met her in the opposite. She died before I was born. Like, if RFK was like, she, like... She was a huge Jets fan too. I have her sweater. That's black jet sweater I wear sometimes.

Yeah, I like that one. That's a good one. Okay, well, I'm sorry about that. It's okay. You know, it's been a while. Didn't realize she had died? Yeah. And I would say to him, it's not your fault, Robert.

why was he selling it aren't they like a really rich family the canadies heroin uh yeah but he was probably buying heroin so he needed money to fund he probably couldn't just like use his family credit card to buy heroin right good point or like the thrill of it yeah or he got into debt and he couldn't ask his family for it money so he yeah it was um i think maybe i've said this before but when i was doing um that campaign. I was like cold calling. Like we were trying to get like an endorsement from the

NRDC which is still an active organization and I called and I was like talking to the lady. I was like you don't happen to know Mary Denellon. Do you? And she was like, oh my God, she trained me. Whoa. This lady was like the assistant to the CEO and I guess that's what my aunt was. And like she had been trained by my aunt in the 90s before my aunt died. Do you get the endorsement? We did not get the endorsement. Oh. But I mean it was like a little bit out of her control. But it was a very sweet. It was like a crate. She was like, I haven't heard that name in 25 years. That's so cool. So.

One of these days you're going to get a call and someone's going to go, did you know my uncle Edge? Did you know, or did you know a cookie? My dog? Yeah. Yeah, he trained. Did you know Ed? He trained me. Cookie? He trained you? We didn't even train him. All right. We should. wrap we should end the episode because we got to

I gotta go we have this spooky bar crawl we love you guys tomorrow is 250 tomorrow is episode 250 our bicentennial you we should get in wait I already know he's getting fucking balloons isn't he no I'm making balloons come on you should actually

no no we'll save for 300 the route the round numbers all right that don't tell me I'll go back to that balloon store I'll go see my girl do it what was the uh all right are we ending yeah wait there was just something though. Oh, for

for the 250, I want like, you know how everything was America 250 this year? I want like Playdate 250 versions of things like, please if you're out there, playmates. Spam playdate 2.50 in the comments. Please. Spam it.

Please. I love you. Peace. What does a sunny getaway with Air Canada sound like? Sunny Jamaica moves to its own rhythm. Rio comes alive long after the sun goes down. Philippines slows everything down. And just when you think you've heard it all, there's sunny Lima. However you imagine your sunny escape, Air Canada can take you there. Book hot fairs and vacation packages today.

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