Will & Rusty's Playdate - insane Minecraft confession

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

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We see the endless funds fueling the AI hype. While others follow the noise, we follow the money. Learn more at bloomberg.com. All right, play date. We're doing episode 226. Andrew, are you 26? I am, yeah. This is our Andrew Nelson episode.

I thought you were 100. It depends on the day, really. I kind of flip-flop between. You ran into that wizard and he put a curse on you. Yeah, someday I'm 100, someday I'm 26. You guys ever do wizarding? Yang. Where you'd like fart in your hand and like throw it across the room at someone.

Yeah, it's awesome. It's an all-time move. Andrew, elephant in the room today. Yeah, yeah. Overslept. I overslept. It happens. We'll put him on blast.

Guys, drop an Andrew's on blast in the comments. Put an Andrew's on mediumly thin ice. Yeah, we're starting 20 minutes late. You're on thick ice. I love it. I can't believe I made it. I slept 12 hours last night. I'm happy for you.

I'm still reeling in from the weekend. You went to bed at 8? I went to 8 p.m. As soon as the USA game ended, I went to bed. What did you do this weekend? Dude, I've been losing my mind this weekend. I left my backpack at TSA. It went through the x-ray, and I just left without it.

Where were you? I don't get how that happens. I was in Houston and Dallas and Austin. Maybe that's why you went to too many cities. Yeah, I went to too many cities. Yeah, I think you went to one city. Maybe if you had gone to San Antonio, you could have completed surgery. I could have, yeah.

i was kind of in the texas bermuda triangle but um was it like a million degrees yeah dude i forget how hot it is because it was a million degrees in ohio i was like i can't imagine really i don't know what the actual like temperature was but going outside was just brutal it just hurt every time but the water wasn't even that warm that's the annoying thing about it is like where the hell is the water i was like at like a apartment pool like complex and like the water at the pool was still like cold and i was like this sucks like the whole point of it being like hot outside is that like the water is like warm wait but the interesting i don't know if that i was gonna i thought you were talking about like maybe the ocean where like sometimes the like six inches

at the beginning will be warm a pool i think is pretty it's always cold no it's just wherever it's it's like insulate because it's below the ground so it's insulated enough that unless you heat it i think it's pretty much it's always gonna be cold i don't know but i will say i i don't like the warm water what really yeah it's hot if it's warm outside jack you need cold water i grew old outside jack you need hot i grew up going to maine and then we moved to charleston and charleston the water is like 100 degrees it's that's like a bath yeah and i don't like that i want the water it'd be like oh really like it is here do it yeah i mean i was in arizona a couple weeks ago and that was blazing hot and it's like a dry heat there too which is a little bit better than the

wet heat but the water was still like pretty freezing cold like your body would really have to adjust to it and you keep saying places that don't have water though uh arizona has a river the arizona river uh yeah i think it's part of the colorado river colorado so it's all like melted snow um okay so of course it's going to be like that's never made any sense to me when they're like the water in california is cold because it's coming from alaska you're like it had it had so long it had so long between or like the main water they'll be like it's warm because it's coming up from the caribbean you're like no it's not the main water is not warm that's what i'm saying no i'm saying oh yeah people are just like because it came up from here like we get to

experience it's like no it's where it fucking is i mean like by the time that by the time the melted snow gets to arizona i'm sure it like had a little bit of time to warm up there no yeah i mean i would i would just i'm calling no i mean i agree like if you melt if i melted snow in here within 10 minutes it would be the temperature of the room yeah temperature of the room yeah it should be warm so you know but i will give you this the water in the grand canyon was very cold how does that make any sense because it's coming from the color that's what i'm saying so you're you are right but it doesn't make any sense to me well it's in the fucking hottest place in the world and it's still cold you know who's hot and came up from the caribbean rihanna obviously

juan soto yeah i was thinking rihanna too you know i'm gonna meet him this weekend you're gonna meet him well i don't know that all-star weekend oh sorry i don't want to kick what were you gonna you say your thing first that's way more interesting than what i was no it's about arizona or something no i was just gonna say i grew up going to the gulf of mexico that's the only like warm body of water well andrew so galveston yep one second well we cannot let him get away with that andrew where did you go what was it called now oh sorry the gulf no now it's the gulf of belgium you didn't hear dude that was we're recording this this is gonna come out what next monday yeah so this is gonna be really delayed really late but everyone's gonna

have forgotten about the world cup but here's my thing the u.s lost last i've always said this if you're coming to play date for your sports news it's gonna be a week behind it's gonna be a week behind and also why why is that yeah there's a guy who probably heard us talk about sports one time and thought like maybe the first time he listened the first thing we talked about was sports and he was like oh nice my sport and then it took like two weeks for us to bring up sports again or what about a guy who loves poop listening to episode oh nice he's been very very pleased anyone who loves poop is at as tuned into this podcast and i'm perfect guy loves poop and farts listen to play oh sweet dude the number of pitches that i have to like go through that

are all poop related that i'm just like i don't want us to be the funny podcast stinky and it's funny we're not a poop podcast we're not a poop podcast but poop is definitely a friend of the show yeah poop is definitely a a our poop's a poop's a regular get poop's a multi all right Speaking of poop, the U.S. last night was – that was – I was genuinely very sad. I was – because it undid everything that we've done this tournament. Like, it completely was, like, old-school U.S. Like, there were no signs of any of the good that we had done. All the hype, everything was, like –

Yeah. Like, every – even if we had lost a close game there, I think there was, like, oh my god this was still like the best we've ever looked in a world cup like u.s soccer culture is changing like there's hope that was so embarrassing they looked horrible from the first second so when we went to the germany game you made a comment to me one where about tim ream where you were like he's he is too old to be out there like he's a liability yeah i mentioned it in the first i've just been using that fact like that's one of my like seven things that i say when i'm watching a u.s soccer game is like i just think he i think the young guys have a step on him and then he

fucking he got manhandled like five times it was so bad i mean he had played actually uncharacteristically well for the first four games of the tournament but for three games i guess he didn't i still look at this as a win turkey i think we are i don't think it is we were in the round of 16 against belgium 12 years ago and we we were an inch away from beating them yeah and we lost an extra time but now people like care like that is a that's a huge right that like the next world cup people will be like like it took a game or two for like everyone to get into it we will be like raring and ready to go yeah but i think that's only because it's happening here it will be i think it'll i think like they're they're new soccer

fans no i agree self-included like i just like didn't was not really a fan of the u.s soccer team like i didn't know anything about them now i like my dad was like intently walking i'd take this yeah he's talking about soccer again my dad was like very excited about soccer which is which is something that was never happening i agree yeah i mean i i guess i i agree that ground has been made there but i think it's more that because it was here you don't think anyone's gonna care in four years no i think no i think that that would have happened regardless of how good the team was a little bit okay but not but no they still would have had to win some games but it was just like i don't know i don't know what i'm saying i was thinking of um every world

cup i was like do i even remember past world cups and i definitely remember the qatar one um but i remembered and i remember when germany won in like 2012 but i didn't remember the ones in the middle and i realized this because the u.s wasn't in it no the u.s was in the only one they missed was 2018 okay they were in i think that's the one i don't 2014 that was just the one germany one okay they were in okay and they i'll never i think that's why i've always gotten really into the world cups because i was at this bar telus i was at telus 360 what a crazy name for a bar it's like a ski trick i know right yeah it's like a snowboarding trick in lancaster pennsylvania with my friend my friend will marjoram was really into it and he brought me

and we scored on a header in stoppage time to beat ghana in the first game of the world cup and you were like and it was the coolest moment of all time and it was like the big soccer it was like a big soccer bar and it just was like oh like soccer like that that rush of that winning goal in the last minute is unlike anything in any other sport like the the way to get people into soccer you're exactly right is a soccer bar i so when i discovered the portland zoo yeah it's one of those things where you're just my parents were there for the game it's uh oh my god it must have been a they were there for the for the bosnia game they said and they said they were by far the oldest people there and like had no idea what they were walking into and it was like

awesome that's fine yeah that's cute that bar that's the greatest bar of all time i didn't make it i didn't make it this uh this past main trip but i'm gonna but i'm gonna get it is one back on what's what's great about what's great about soccer is like when you're watching basketball a basket doesn't really mean anything exactly when you're watching soccer you're sitting there drinking for an hour and a half and like the first goal could be an hour and a half in and Even in the game last night, we were getting absolutely manhandled. But when it was 3-1, with 10 minutes left, you're like, that's enough time.

It could happen. Belgium was down 2-0 in the 85th against Senegal. Yeah. Really? In the previous game, yeah, and they won. And we beat Senegal right before the World Cup. That's the thing that just made me so mad. Belgium was not that good.

I mean, we didn't even give them a chance to prove. I mean, they were better, but they played well, but we didn't even make them have to show anything. They didn't even, like, they didn't even, they barely beat anybody in group stage besides, like, New Zealand. They tied with Iran. They tied with, like, Ghana or something. I will say it felt like they didn't want it. That first goal, I think, was the perfect, someone who doesn't like sports is probably like, Jesus Christ, move on.

That first goal is, like, the ball dropped in the box and, like, five of them were like, huh, huh. Like, no one went for it. like that was the perfect uh microcosm of the larger issue which was like no one wanted it there was something there was definitely a weird energy from the start i had lasagna while we were watching and i blame myself i think that was i think that i think i put bad mojo a belgian i know it was you well it just it was one of those things where i can't i have no science to back this up but it didn't feel like it was helping we had a we had a costco lasagna and i just feel like for some reason yeah you know what you know and i had a dodger dog well the bar was

that had dodger dog they came in like that foil with the dodgers logo on it okay santa monica brew works it was actually santa monica brew works is awesome packed there were like 500 people there wait the is that is that the one by emmy squared pizza it's like the big patty i love that that's where you get the food at emmy square mr mr stimmel loves that that brewery you dude it's sick great in four years we'll be back we'll be back we were what the only problem with the out door part of that is like if the sun is in the right position you're everyone's staring at like you can tell that there's soccer on or basketball on but the tv isn't an outdoor tv that they got a new they got a new one it's like a led so it's not like there wasn't like a glare okay okay but

Yeah, I got nothing. I hear the next World Cup is in England? No, Spain. Spain? Spain and Portugal and Morocco. And Uruguay and Paraguay and Argentina. Wait, what? So they're just all sharing it now?

It's literally the World Cup. No, it's 95% of the games are in Spain, Portugal, and Morocco, but it's the 100th anniversary of the World Cup. So they're doing it where everyone wants. The first one, I believe, is in Uruguay. so they're doing not everyone is wanted they're just doing three games in south america to like celebrate the hundred but because of that the they have rules about like like if you hosted a world cup you can't again for like two world cups basically yeah uh or for the next world cup

i guess you're you're uh bless you i'm something in my throat your um your continent can't host two world cups in a row basically and so because that world cup is europe africa and south america everyone's toast except we are probably going to host the world cup again in 2036 2034 Or 2038 2034 might be already decided but It might be two world cups I don't know there's some

The way it works out it's like the 2038 World cup I think it is Has to be in the United States We're gonna be fucking Because I think 2034 I think is in Asia Can you look up 2034 world cup Yeah we're gonna be 38

Oh my god that is not that saudi arabia not the 38s old i'm just picturing myself at i can't i've never thought of myself being 38 years i don't think i'll make it there's a world there's a world where i don't yeah it's saudi that's what it is so it's like it's a two you can't host for two more after that in your continent so after 2034 literally every continent other than the u.s or antarctica or other than north america or antarctica what about like australia i was gonna say what if australia But I don't think they want to or something. I don't know.

They don't have the facilities to them. Maybe not. They have, like, two stadiums. No, but they got those, like, huge rugby stadiums. Rugby stadiums, yeah. Oh, okay. Dude, we were... I don't know.

I was at... I was playing... I was done with golf, and we came in for a beer in Maine. And my dad... I've told you about this guy. My dad's buddy who's from South Africa. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a guy who works at the club who's also from South Africa,

and they kind of, like... They've bonded, obviously. so he calls the guy the the bartender waiter over and the bartender had the Australia England rugby game on his phone and so they're watching it and it I'm like trying to figure out the rules and it's like 17-3 or something and I'm kind of starting to understand it and then I like looked away for a second and I looked back and it's 17-0 and I was like you can lose points can you lose points and they were like honestly I have no idea what happened there I was wondering the same thing it was like it was like a scoreboard yeah it was like it was like if they were watching football

and like you know every fifth game you'll be someone will be like wait what happened there and you're like i don't know i've actually never seen that yeah it was like the one time where they were like i don't know i don't know how that happened oh but he was wearing the the waiter was wearing meta glasses meta meta i'm trying to figure out if oh sorry i'm trying to figure out just trying to boost her i'll go do you see meta is doing a kylie jenner collab yeah apparently she talks to you when you talk to it really yeah like an ai her voice yeah or just she she has to drop everything and talk to you oh one second i'm getting a call they were saying uh because apparently women uh they've been struggling to get women to wear meta glasses

because they find them like a little creepy i guess which is totally understood oh yeah i got creeped on with medical okay you really well go ahead whatever so basically all i all i heard was they essentially they probably gave her like a billion dollars yeah and just so that they can now spy on women as well yeah well they uh i was at when i when i was at the bosnia game i'm not at the game but i was at the library i was at a bar called the library for the there i was studying during the bosnia when the u.s was playing bosnia i was at a bar called the library which is like what the heck what are you reading a beer don't even get me started turn to page cocktail okay um okay wait re the the what are you what are you getting at the library bar i i was trying to uh

uh there's something with like the in shotscopedia or something you guys want to do a shotscopedia and it's like a book with like four shots in it that could be fun no one can get their face on it at the same time yeah or it's like um there's something you can return your beer or something after you drink it god we have lost a step when it comes checking out a girl at the library bar there we go dude i'm checking you out i was checking you out at the library bar at the lot all right and pull up book terms pull up words wait i'm gonna get some i'm close the vodka paragraph has to be something with the dewey decimal system oh my god you know what i mean like wow we have really the dude dude drop

man this fuck it we lost our fucking god you remember drop what you're getting at the library bar in the comments yeah we we need to outsource this dude you remember the feeling of cgi friday that was a high i will never feel again i feel like my brain will never be firing like it was oh my god speaking of highs you'll never feel again did you see that video i don't know if it's la or there's some like mayoral candidate who his thing is he's been going around it's definitely not la because he we we i didn't recognize him but uh he's been like going around to the homeless or whatever and kind of like seeing how they live whatever like talking to them seeing what they need whatever and he runs into one who she's showing him the fentanyl she

has and it's like a bag and he takes the bag and like puts it right next to his nose and smells it And all the homeless people were like, oh, oh, oh, whoa. And he said, like, can I try it? And she was like, no. Can you pull this up? Wait, you said it's definitely not LA because we don't know him. Who run him for mayor in LA? Or I guess, is Spencer Pratt the mayor one?

Yeah, but he's already lost. Spencer Pratt, Nithya Raman, and Karen Basura. Spencer Pratt is out, though. Can you look up politician homeless fentanyl? Google Spencer Pratt homeless fentanyl. uh there was one i can't remember where i fucking saw this but he like smelled her fentanyl someone will know what i'm talking about well i was i had something to say about metaglass when yes oh it was a i was i was oh yeah yeah sorry so i'm at the library bar ordering the paragraph martini and uh

and um um ipa format there we go uh i was trying to take a one two there uh and i uh vodka no i just gotta move on i just gotta move on so you're at the fucking library bar oh yeah in the um fuck oh i the we score or we won and i was celebrated or no i was talking to this guy that i know and i was showing him i this brand sent me like a american flag underwear and like the crotch is an eagle yep which is like you know not really wearing not really showing that off too often but in that context i was showing it to someone and a guy saw him was like yo the bar the bartender looks over and your pant

your shorts are completely like pulled out he's like hey get out of it get out of his shorts maybe that maybe maybe they'll let that slide at barnes and noble not here anyway so i was showing it to my friend and then the guy was like yo what is that they were like yo and i was like yeah look and i like showed him my underwear and he was like oh and then i look and like he's there's like a light on on his glasses and i was like are you filming me pulling out my underwear he's like oh shit yeah is that okay and i was like yeah it's fine but like that's great but they have light on at least i didn't know that yeah no that that's the one that made me happy to know couldn't someone just nail polish over the light definitely okay the other thing i'll say is i'm

getting a pair why i'm getting them for free i've met a glass pair yeah what do you think i met the boxers or why do you see disappointed you think i just think it's a slipper this is kind of this is fall this falls into the say i just feel like we're heading in a dangerous direction as a yeah well i'm excited to play around them so but are they sending them to you yeah so i should probably not be talking negatively about them i mean it's not like there's basically we beat this team and or we lost they beat us in softball and then one of the players on the team was like hey i work for oakley meta like could we send you some and then she was like we're trying to find specifically find people going to the mlb all-star game to wear them i was like that's so random but

I'm going to the MLB All-Star game, so I'm going to go meet Juan Soto, and I'm going to record it, and I'm going to be like, what do I say? Well, I don't know if I'm going to meet Juan Soto, but I feel like there's a— For some reason, you can't get out of a robot voice when you have him on. Juan Soto, hola. What do I say if I meet Juan Soto? I genuinely don't know. You just say, like, I'm a huge Mets fan.

I want something, like, memorable. I mean, I think he's going to be like, are you recording me right now? I see the light. I think you should say commence suck down. what if i say are you recording right now oh dude speaking of that those commence suck down boxers that you found yeah yeah those are we found like friday beers boxers in the prop closet that say commence suck down on it can you imagine being at a bar and like getting pants hitting it off oh my god he's got the commence suck downs on getting like hitting it off with

the girl going back to her place you take your pants off and you're wearing commence suck down boxers you're like oh my god i completely forgot and then and and you're like oh fuck and then she like kind of smirks at you and takes her clothes off and she's wearing a full lingerie set that's all commence suck down she goes i'm jesse heaters jesse heater she's she's dr dooley what's up with dr doolittle who even is that who is dr doolittle is that a dr seuss character it's a movie no does he fuck with animals or something or is that um inspector spy yeah i think he he's an animal doctor it's an inspector spy i think you might have made him up oh he does fuck with animals eddie murphy's dr doolittle all right now look up inspector spy are you thinking of inspector gadget

clearly not i think i would have said that okay go to all is the gadget guy so that's nothing wait wait inspector spy generally refers to either the secret government intelligence officers who gather but that's the photo that's what our spies look like can you imagine being like a you're a terrorist and then you're like see that guy and you're like are you oh god you don't happen to work for the cia nah bro just grab a beer you see him at the library bar yeah you're like wait a minute are you getting a shotscopedia yeah those are good just checking out what's going on uh so i'm gonna meet once so i'm gonna say hola juan are you gonna speak in spanish to him maybe it would help me stand out yeah i think you uh i

probably won't meet him i think you probably will i'm going you're going with the mlb you'll have access mlb oh really oh yeah you make one youtube video reviewing a ballpark oh you want to start reviewing ballparks next thing you know you're gonna be wearing we haven't even put out the second video the CIA is gonna have you wearing really yeah it's only the Angel Stadium game that's out right now yeah do you think you do you think that you're gonna get recruited to like thwart some terrorist attack where like the bombs in the ball a hundred percent I mean think about it happened at the NHL all-star game in threat level midnight yep and then I believe was there another movie where it happens I think it's in it there's a James Bond movie where that actually

happened is there where it actually happened sorry like they're not joking bomb google bomb at all-star game movie we actually happened no oh my god oh wait uh whatever is that what you told me to google or no but i doubt that changes too much or like bomb in bomb in oh my god wait what's the what's what's the movie there's a movie i saw this clip one time uh where it's like the the bad guy is on the beach and he throws a frisbee full of razor blades at another guy and it cuts his head off that has got to be worst way to go you think you're you think you're just out there tossing around i mean if it cuts the head clean off it's a quick death i still think the worst way is like

getting like uh slowly slowly slowly beaten to death by someone you love just put me out of my why is this taking so long put me out of my misery what if juan soto's like did you put nail polish over the light on your metaglasses i would be like i'm so sorry man i just please just i love you we're gonna figure this out we're gonna get you a better supporting cast we're gonna get you a pitching staff i promise like it's gonna be okay who is this guy i'm sorry i'm sorry that you're dealing with us i'm sorry that you just came here and now we suck everything oh my jesus christ man do you try and lick it off what a wild first instinct what would what would you have done hand obviously

oh my god even a tissue dude speaking of embarrassing fucking spit takes we are uh i'm meeting a i'm meeting one of my dad's friends for the first time uh this weekend and i he told me a joke and i spit my beer out all over the table that's good you probably love that do you think is that a compliment yeah all over his table oh well it's probably like a little like jesus but probably compliment was the joke really good it just caught me off guard his dog was also it was just a very funny situation his dog was scooching across the carpet like ass first across the carpet to try and get you know when dogs like itch their butt on the carpet his dog was doing that and i was looking

at that and then he made a joke and then i took a sip of beer and it was just the perfect storm and i spit it out everywhere and no one acknowledged it it wasn't like so like there's a world no one saw it but it was the first real spit take i've ever done in my life yesterday i got hot dodger dogs remember i said this i only put relish on mine okay but we were like standing there were no tables we were just standing and i was like hey do you mind if i set my beer down here just to dress my dog yeah and the guy was like yeah sure and then i'm eat and then i eat it and i go to throw it out and then someone was like yo you got a little uh mustard on your cheek i was like mustard on my cheek i didn't need it and then i look over and dylan's eating hot dog with mustard

i'm like dylan i think you got your mustard on my cheek he's like i didn't get my mustard on your cheek i was like well how would i've gotten mustard on my cheek i only had relish on my dog and then the guy at the table where i'd set my beer the guy was closest to the napkin so he grabbed the napkin and i expected to hand it to me and he just slowly rubbed it off of me that's so sweet clean my face up for the guy the guy at the table that you set your beer down on you and dylan are arguing for like five minutes about the buster he's like can you just take your beer and go guys we've scored twice oh man i had andrew and i were talking about um excuse me when andrew and i were talking before you got here about lucid dreaming i still see your shadows in my room yes

uh i was on the plane and i had one i had a dream that was more i remember it more vividly than i remember like actual memories from that day and i was able to talk to jacob like in the dream and i asked him am i dreaming right now and he goes i don't know but it was i we were i was on the plane and next thing i know i'm at my apartment building and i'm looking up and i was like jacob how have i never noticed that our apartment building looks exactly like hogwarts like it was like a full medieval thing with like towers i was like that is unbelievable like how have i never noticed it was like i don't know i've never noticed that either and then i was like he's like all right let's get in the elevator and we we sat down and strapped ourselves into a roller coaster

and i looked at him and i was like this is the elevator and he was like yeah that is kind of weird that's awesome and then i was like am i dreaming again and he was like i don't know but this is weird like he was also a guy that didn't know anything about it yeah and then a woman hit my car and then the noise of airpods connecting played over the world and i woke up and my airpods had like reconnected and i was on the plane oh is that weird yeah i wonder what that means i don't know i the the the lucid dreaming thing is is strange it was the very it was the only time i could like walk i could like walk around freely in my dream andrew said he's trying to he's trying to figure out how to do it yeah i've been taking a lot of nyquil lately and i've

been having really bad nightmares and i was telling rusty about one where everyone was like a ball sack But then they also held ball sacks in their hands And they would pull up in a car next to me And they would fushigi the ball sack All on their hands Have you had this dream before? No, but I've had skeletons I like the idea of

Yeah, I've been getting really into NyQuil And it keeps giving me nightmares And not addressing it I feel like maybe we try a different Yeah, why are you getting into NyQuil? I just had a weird throat thing last week But then I was kind of glad that I took it the other night because I had a dream that I was hanging out with Donald Glover and Olivia Rodrigo. Like, it was, like, my Super Bowl.

And I didn't say anything, though. Like, when you mentioned you were, like, talking to Jacob, I was like, wait, I didn't say a word to them. I was just, like, with them. Maybe you were just starstruck. I mean, you wouldn't be starstruck around Jacob. I guess. But there was, like, four other people around. Like, I totally could have talked to them.

Who were the other people? Like, random, like, fans or something. but we were just like outside on like a picnic table just hanging out and i think she was like signing some autographs or something um and then oh oh and then i took a picture of them together because i was like gotta get this collab together and then after i took a picture of them together i took a selfie with all three of them and then when i woke up i was like oh i can't wait to see that photo on my phone and i was like wait it never happened i have these thoughts where i'll be walking around and i'm like i feel like one of these days i'm gonna wake up and be 16 and be like

oh my god that was the craziest dream of all time do you ever feel that way where like this could be a dream life is all a dream um yeah i've thought about it i'm pretty sure this isn't because no offense y'all would not be in my dream pretty well we would have made each other up y'all wouldn't we wouldn't know if i was dreaming i would not have made y'all up we're i would not have made up y'all why that feels me it kind of hurts well no i'm just like we're not busty enough every one of my dreams is nuclear jokes nuclear tatas yeah yeah i uh i don't know i did you hear they turned off that like particle collider thing that's been right they have to turn it off for like four years for maintenance or something and everyone's saying that it's like obviously i don't

i don't know if i believe this but they were like life feels different these last couple weeks have you noticed that i didn't i didn't feel it but like a lot of people online are like i know it sounds crazy i know i know it's they're saying they're saying talking there was a part i like the idea of like it's not it's not that i'm not following what you're saying it's more just like what the fuck are you on about right now they turned there was this particle collider or whatever it's like what does that mean it's like a science experiment i'm not a fucking physicist i don't know i don't know what they're doing in there where i thought particles collide all the time no can you or maybe a particle accelerator or something they turned it off

and people are like we skipped timelines again and the only thing the only thing that i believe about it is chick-fil-a has a k again now which i remember when i was a kid but i but i always thought it was c-h-i-c dash f-i-l it's always had its k what always had a k they in the old commercials they the cat the whole thing was the cows didn't know how to spell yeah they didn't they didn't spell the name of the place wait it's c-h-i-k right no there's a c-k what yeah pull this up that's what i'm saying and like apparently the kit kat has a dash again i don't know all sorts of stuff yeah that's not it was never it was never spelled that way there's no k oh i definitely thought it was you thought

it was chic filet yeah the whole point was the cows don't know how to fucking spell this yeah don't spell the name of it they spell chicken you're thinking of like look at this cow sign down there they just do chicken like that but like that's not the name that cows don't say chick-fil-a ever no i'm with you on this rest isn't that weird i thought it was i remember i don't remember okay that looks way longer of an a pull up kit kat logo okay we're going back to the particle accelerator yeah look there's no dash there used to be a dash in the middle it was kit dash cat now there's no fucking dash what is that called again when you think you mandela effect and i don't know why it's called that was that like his whole thing like no

everyone like this was kind of a pet project apart from the apartheid apartheid apartheid apartheid i know everyone had thought that he had died there was like a thing in like the 90s or something where a bunch like a huge subset of the population thought he had died or like didn't they were saying like the monopoly man doesn't have a fucking monocle he always had a monocle yeah yeah it's a lot of stuff yeah you're right the kit kat with the dash you're complaining with mr peanut because they wear the same outfit um no he definitely had a fucking mom i don't know i don't want to turn into the podcast that's doing the fucking mandela effect every podcast it did it did uh wait we're looking back at the particle go back to the particle set what do you

mean the part they turned it like what are we turning it off what we got to provide some sort of like there was a there was a science there was a science center where they they were working on something with a particle accelerator and for maintenance they are turning it off for the next like four years and people are saying life has felt different since the 29th of june uh i mean maybe that's why belgium beat us 4-1 maybe that's why maybe that's why i'm dreaming on planes now i never dream but we'd be what i don't know what were you talking about all right what does a particle accelerator do there are guys that yeah like what like it's why would that affect anything happening here like i turned off a light at my house and so you're like they say so you know

you know i saw a guy talking about this the other day to change to change history you could just like go back 50 years and like clap or something like around people and then like that would change the millisecond that your parents had sex and had you and it would be a different sperm and then like you'd come back and like no one that you know would fucking be here that crazy like if i went into portland maine like around your parents in like the 80s and was like ah that like just them like looking over their shoulder then they'd have sex like a you know seven seconds later i don't know i don't know if they would i i don't know if i believe or they just would never have we would definitely have some impact but like your parents are are about to conceive you and

they're like do you remember when that fucking guy clapped clapped let's wait what the hell was that about let's wait eight seconds i don't think the time that you have sex really matters what's sperm yeah it does because think about it's a it's there's like tens of millions of sperm in your ball sack right now yeah but like if you have it seven seconds later like wouldn't it still be like the front runner when the front runner still whoever was closest to your tip when you did it would be different is it where it's closest to the tip right um for the nba yeah college rules yeah yeah it's just it's just freaky to think about it's just freaky to think about it it's like yeah it's like when they say maybe hitler was traumatized because so many time

travelers pointed a gun at him when he was a child and then said i can't do it can't do it that's funny oh man wait so what are you gonna do for the all-star game hola juan uh quieres vivir conmigo en los angeles wait that's actually really good what did you say hi juan do you want to live with me in los angeles i thought baby or was drink baby baby is to drink oh i took spanish from a woman with one arm in college did i ever tell you that no first first spanish class in college she uh obviously addressed the elephant in the that she had one arm and in spanish asked us or had us all uh had us all take guesses of how she lost her arm in spanish and then at the end told us it was an alligator attack we were like really

yeah holy damn and and she said and after it happened she started speaking spanish maybe alligator attack was one of the guesses and it was a motorcycle crash i don't know i don't know We see an alligator on a motorcycle. Drove by and bit her arm off. Yeah. That is fucking crazy. Speaking of Olivia Rodrigo, you know how the whole first Sour album is about one guy she had a really tough breakup with? You know that he's liked-

Joshua Bassett, right? Yeah. He's liked two different versions of the clip of Willie going, maybe the only reason Rosa Parks didn't get up is because she had a boner. he's liked it two different times in two different videos he thinks it's so funny that's how she got over him was she saw that like joshua bassett and others liked this video and it was about rosa parks getting a boner brown guilty eyes yes that's him do you think there's gonna be like a reference to that in like the next album yeah and i saw you like that clip of rosa parks I was reading Sadiqa like out of context comments that we're getting on that video

because there was like a huge racial discourse going on and so I would just see like random comments in the notifications that were just like yeah well maybe you should go to the cultural history museum of african-americans and do some research if you can even read why were people mad about that Will saying that or they were beefing with each other? I didn't read the entire thread. First of all, I was saying, what? Just a thought.

I just thought it was funny. Out of context, reading those comments come in the whole weekend was so funny. Did that go viral again? It has like 200,000 views on Instagram, but on TikTok, it has like 200,000 likes or something. Speaking of Rosa Parks.

I always knew that was a home run and no one ever believed me. I pitched it in the sketch wing. Are you serious? I mean, I don't know how we would have ever made it in the sketch i think i think it it was only that it also it could have been like a one-off a one-off line in a sketch yeah but i think it the way it came out was yeah uh you know larry david and obama are making that hbo show yeah hbo had sent like pr for the release of that

show and it i guess arrived right before i left for maine and so it's sitting in my office sitting out in the front of the office for like a year no uh yeah yeah maybe i saw the box there was was it addressed to me yeah there was someone eventually put it in my office and i opened it up and i was like oh this is awesome and i'm like reading the letter or whatever and uh then i take the i take the like paper away and it was a uh cherry pie that had been sitting in my office for like a week so it turned into like a science experiment and i was so bummed because that would have been awesome they mailed you a cherry pie that's kind of crazy without warning yeah you gotta like warn you no they did not warn me they did not you can't just mail a motherfucker a

cherry pie yeah i mean no i think they said in the dm that there was going to be food in there they dm'd you they didn't dm me they dm played it oh and then they sent it just to him well Well, Rusty asked for them to address it to him. Bro, I looked at it every day. Wait, what? Here, I can read the DMs. If you hadn't done that, I would have eaten that cherry pie last week. I saw it every day, and I was like, wait.

I don't use the play date DMs. Really? Yeah. This was in partnership messages. Let's see. Yeah, thank you so much for reaching out. We'd love that. Best address is this.

Awesome is their name. We should address it to Jack Kelly Works. Thank you. Perfect. you have to have done that i don't i've literally i don't even think i'm logged in to play that how really did you just say that it also says in the dm this package will contain a perishable food item so we'll let you know what it's you fucked my cherry pie i think andrew might have just been like address it to jack because he'll it couldn't have been me you know how i know it

wasn't me i was driving a couple days ago and there was a restaurant called kelly's but it was an e y and i was like wait does jack spell it with just a y or an e y it was kind of my own mandela effect are there other people logged into our no it's you did it you're just you won't own up to the fact that you nuked my pie this was i totally nuked your pie you know what the worst that's you know what the no i'll tell you the worst part no you're gonna you're actually gonna be more mad what do you think the worst part is the worst part is that every day last week while you were gone i walked in i was like i wonder what's in that box but it's just addressed to him like if it said playdate i would open i think there's a i think we can both operate under the

assumption that if it's for me it's probably also for you not necessarily like i because i get my like dildos mailed here you get your motor bunny that's still my buddy i still wanna i that was a partnership chet did for like a you never saw the motor what's the motor the motor bunny was the fucking craziest thing i've ever seen and the and there's still an outstanding crime that we've never solved it was stolen from the office someone stole the motor bunny and took it back oh dude it would do we were playing around it goes like dude the attachment wasn't a penis it was like an alien tentacle yeah and someone stole it and brought it home and so we were like we got some freaky motherfucker around someone in this office

stole the motor bunny is freaky as the day is long how is he doing a partnership with them like for royce there's one where like he reveals that he's been sitting on it the whole lecture i mean it's the only it's actually a hysterical video and they they decided to put a tentacle on it no they they had all sorts of attachments this one there was a tentacle one attachments implies like there's like a scope or something dude there's like a remote control thing you can control like the speed and the angle and stuff i i played around with it a lot not on myself but just how did he sit on it for the sketch like very carefully yeah well he's method so i think it was up his butt but i there's you wouldn't have been able to fit that up that

that tentacle i actually think would like kill a man if it went up his butt i don't even know who that's for girls that could fit up there yeah i mean it was it i'm not joking andrew it was probably 20 size 20 times the size of my penis like i don't know it also way it was extremely like bulky and heavy like the motorized part of it and someone like someone like it's not like you could have like slipped it in your bag yeah they came in after hours and like like a hand truck yeah it's that it was lit it was like 40 pounds and like oh someone here is freaking yeah there has to be so i was thinking about this the other day like you'll talk to your friends and they will say things that they're definitely not saying in front of their co-workers

or like you know that they're like you have friends where you're just like that's a horny guy there are guys in this office that are putting on a mask and pretending to be a normal fucking guy and i guarantee you someone has a motor bunny adjacent device at their home when when was this was at the old office at the abbott kitty okay so like i have my i have my suspects but do you think they still work here and this we didn't have a lot of women at the time too yeah this was like oh my god i mean like there are a couple guys that i think you think it was a dude that took it yeah i think there are a couple guys that would take it home because they're like bringing freaky people back to their house i don't know if it's four guys

it actually would be like a sick like college thing to just have one in the corner i think because like I feel like in college we always just had random bits in our house all sorts of machines in college well we had like huge frame photos of like anime girls in college and like frame photos of like bts and um we also had which is exactly this my buddy gave me like a really nice because you have anime posters on your wall you would you think that people would find it as funny to have the motor bunny is like another level photos of a k-pop group why wouldn't they have a huge fucking tentacle dildo tentacle well my buddy for my birthday gave me a huge frame photo of him naked and um it was like a really nice frame like i was honestly pretty stoked because

it was probably like a 200 frame yeah that he gave it to us in and one uh weekend my buddy and i were on a cruise and our landlord texted us and was like hey do you mind if i come in to show off the apartment and i was like absolutely no problem we're not home actually and then it wasn't until a day later i was like oh my god we have that naked photo it's art the guy in the frame just high and above our sink in the in the kitchen it was as soon as someone walks in i was a guy i knew in college naked photo of himself yeah there's one physical naked photo of me out in circulation that i have never found it i think i've told you this we did oh yeah we did an art show and there were nine naked polaroids of it was like a joke art show for the older kids at college and it was

like nine naked polaroids of us in like funny positions and after the party it was the one art piece that was missing so someone took it home that's awesome and a little banksy yeah i mean like nine 18 year old boys like yeah i understand i definitely understand the urge for those ladies to take it back we had to make like will did not like that what dude we were like adonises adonises all right guys we just dropped on friday the previous friday we dropped our new merch we got cool stuff like this hoodie i'm wearing we got shirts we got this hat we got this hat we got these shirts we got this sweatshirt baby this is a picture of a baby you can buy the tiger in our sweatshirt there is so much stuff you can buy that we want you to buy and um i can't say enough

good things about people who buy our merch i only say good things about people kindest people i've ever met but guys good quality stuff the t-shirts are on the same blanks that willie and i've been loving for years you know it's fun since this is like our ad read i can say fuck hey guys fuck our merch all right love you guys peace This episode is brought to you by Lucy. Lucy is the official pouch partner of Almost Friday. Premium 100% tobacco-free nicotine pouches made for true pouch connoisseurs. Lucy pouches and Lucy breakers deliver long-lasting flavor for a seriously satisfying pouch experience.

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click the link in the description to download the app and have the code automatically added to your account so you can use it later thank you seat geek i'll see you in october august that concert in august remember in august i'm going to a different let's go to back episode yeah i was talking literally what we were just saying i was just asking andrew this i was like because your pee is turning to poops more than anyone i've ever met are you sitting down to pee and then poop starts coming out or are you peeing and going nah this is gonna this is gonna be bad the ladder the ladder yeah because you know i've famously crapped myself at the at the urinal in college i've never heard this i've told you this no no i don't think so is this real for

for a like almost exclusively poop pot i'm i'm sure i guarantee the comments will say like you brought this up but i guess it's been a while if you guys don't remember but in senior year there was like a senior bar crawl oh you did tell me this refresh my memory though so it's like a 10 bar bar crawl around boston with all my friends at the second bar of the bar it's a bar called hamilton in uh brookline massachusetts near coolidge corner i'm at the urinal there's a huge line for the bathroom yeah it was packed because like the whole bar crawl was there i am at the i finally get up to the front line i go to the urinal i'm peeing and as i'm peeing i get a little too loose a little too comfortable and i shit myself while peeing at the urinal and there's a line for

this bathroom so it's like obviously the natural thing would be pop over to the stall and clean myself up but i can't do that because there's a line for the stall the only way would be to like be like i just pooped myself i need to cut you but i'm it's everyone there is in my grade so it's either someone i know or someone i don't know but i have like classes with and shit so i just left the bathroom i went straight up to my buddy dylan and i was like hey man i need to go home right right now right this instant second and uh called an uber and he came with me good friend we ubered home and uh i had to sit in the uber in my own poop poor uber driver well he didn't know he knew poop out poop in your underpants is like one of the stinkiest things

that could be in your underpants he can smell you couldn't smell it he heard it when you sat down ew gross gross gross all right should we do do i need a lawyer let's do let's do all the segments Or do we not have time? We got 20 minutes. Yeah, let's do all the segments. Quickly. See, it's all poop. It's just all poop pitches.

I want to poop one. Okay. I want to fucking poop one. It's all poop. I'm tired of pretending I don't want to poop. It was always poop. All right. Hello, Jaw, Red, and Goff.

Goff. Jaw. Isn't that a god? It's the reggae god. oh man okay i'm red like what the hell is that it's a fucked up impression what's the worst part about pooping at work worst part about pooping at work here is everyone it's the stinkiest thing in the world i'll go in the pooping bathrooms and it is like it smells like a guy who has been eating slim jims for the last 45 hours was in there and and missed the toilet i love pooping at work it

is it is 9 39 in the morning the bathroom that i went in now smelled like it had been run a poop train on it like to be fair the morning is when the most pooping happens poop at home poop before your shower i can't really yeah why because i don't poop until i like have a cup of coffee or something i wake up i have a cup of i brush my teeth i have a cup of coffee i put a lucy in and then i poop and then i get in the shower and then i don't poop again until i am back at home or it's the next morning i like pooping at work you know what's crazy i'm saying this out loud and i'm realizing this is not true i do poop at work sometimes so i don't even know what i'm fucking talking in my head i have this really buttoned up poop schedule but in reality sometimes i do

go back there my thing is like it's like a nice like break from the day you get to sit there our bat we have like nice pooping bathrooms too yes seclude the only thing is it backs up to page's office so there are times where i can hear her on a meeting i go i don't if i can hear her meeting she can hear the fury that is coming out of my little bottle right now i don't know if she can because the other day she was like one time i turned on the air in my office and it smelled horrible and i've never done it since and i was like oh yeah it could be like connected to the bathroom and she was like no certainly not right and i was like oh no she doesn't bobby thinks that the vent is the toilet he's just been shitting into the vent well i've been shitting in her office

or wait that was what you were saying about bob i put it on the thermostat so it's not it's not that she's turning on the air and the air smells it's when she touches the ac button her fingers now have poop on them here's an idea getting a tattoo of a thermos so when someone asks you so anything about the thermostat that's right here brother show me like someone here has like explosive shits that they don't clean up afterwards it's a fucking paint job you're like you're not kidding when you say it's like a jack jackson pollock literally looks like someone like a pollock dude it looks like someone dipped a paintbrush in poop and then like flung it yes dude there are times where there's poop under the seat like i'll lift the seat up

to pee and there's splatter under it i'm like what the fuck are you guys eating how hard are you pushing it's like exactly what it is i don't know i've never i've never once the only skid marks are like on the toilet bowl if i drop a nuclear log and it rubs on the way down i'm sorry for the ladies that are listening to this but i'm fucking tired of it and the audacity to leave it i don't even know how you'd clean it up but it's like if you know if you know those are the types of poops you take you have to be a guy that it's like i need to get my poop out of my body before the morning it is those poor cleaning ladies are probably like these neanderthals are standing like it literally is like they're squatting over the toilet and then squirting into it because it's on

parts of the toilet where it's like your butthole's not even facing that way mine how is it there has an insane radius so i get it but i clean mine up but i clean i don't touch it with toilet i also know who's fucking doing yeah okay yeah that's so smart if you're please gentlemen if you're gonna paint the back of the toilet save your pee so you can spray it off yeah i hold my bladder and then i just clean it up i know who's doing it i know who's doing it because i've i've gone in after him and he's so is it it's fucking dude it's and then i have to like run out of the bathroom because i'm like i don't want anyone like waiting on me to think that it was me you're preaching to the it's so it's insanity i thought for a while we thought it was one

particular guy and then he left the company and i didn't see any bad shits for a while so i was like it was definitely him and then now it's back well did i tell you the one time i i i i very rarely send a company slack i've been here for like six years and i think i've sent one company wide slack and it was like hey if you're gonna diarrhea in the in the back bathroom you have to flush it and the worst part was there was no toilet paper in it so some menace not only like literally it it looked like medieval sewage that someone like dumped in the thing there were like types of food in there that i'd never even heard of and there was no toilet paper so someone did that and then it put their underwear back on and was walking around his office with absolute

nuclear waste between their cheeks i'm sorry to anyone who's eating lunch right now and that was him i'm fucking positive i haven't seen you get this animated in a while dude it's so it makes me so mad because it's like i'm not even that clean of a guy but you just if we're going to diarrhea at work we have to make sure that you're fucking flushing it that's like the leaving your backpack at tsa thing like are you just your brain's on autopilot you just are like all right i just took the craziest poop in my life i'm gonna go edit a fucking podcast now no wipe your butt and fucking flush the toilet it's insanity in our office we work with fucking neanderthals i think it might be my fault i don't ever flush but i know you wipe i don't wipe or

flush oh my god guy finding out that everyone else wipes oh my god that's what it's for you know he's just like yeah no i'd fucking i love i love white hate wiping feels so good paper on my booty oh my gosh my abs hurt so bad i wipe with paper towels so it clogs the toilet sorry what is the worst part about pooping at work oh i forgot we're doing the fucking you pray for a quick silent mission but instead you're trapped in the stall playing dead while your boss is two urinals away talking about qce targets then some traders shoes give you away under the door like a damn footprint that's why i'm launching ghost shoes the worst the world's first identifying shifting footwear for the corporate bathroom warrior step into the stall

and shoot your shoes instantly transform flip-flops become fresh jordans dress shoes turn into dirty sneakers whatever you're wearing disappears and a completely different pair takes its place the second you walk out boom they switch right back your boss just heard a brutal deuce from the guy in the red nike it's not you now you can drop a nuclear deuce with total deniability let it rip groan if you need to live your truth i like that a lot i like that i feel like we had this uh you might be thinking of my pitch that was a door stopper that takes the sounds of your violent poop it makes it sound like you're on a business call so girls you're hooking up with think that you're a businessman and not a guy who's diarrhea in the bathroom

that's great yeah i think yeah maybe that is what i'm thinking of uh that is true though i i definitely check shoes if i hear something or smell something if i could make one shoes how oh no no sorry like my old under the stall okay yeah but here we don't here we don't have that if i could make one change to america and i know this might be a waste of a change i would say we need to go do what other countries are doing where the stalls go all the way down it's like it's kind of like giving millions of people health care right there yeah yeah no that's what i'm saying i know this is yeah but it's the one thing i do well i mean i was at bucky's and they have that the floor to ceiling walls but then they also had the uh flusher that was like

automatic so there was no thing and it wouldn't go and i needed like i needed a round two on the flush and i couldn't get it i was like do i have to leave this stall and go to another stall and then go again because that's gonna look weird i i have the opposite problem where you're trying to poop and it's one of the ones that goes every 15 seconds yeah yeah yeah oh it just keeps going it's like it's like sucking your balls down the drain we're like jesus give me a fucking second here how come skeletons never have balls um all right let's see let's hear a do i need a lawyer do i need a lawyer for going on a date with someone a week after breaking up with my girlfriend context is she is leaving to serve an lds mission in bolivia what is lds latter day

saints yeah um meaning i won't see her for 18 months and we decided we wouldn't be dating during that time and that we would just see what happens when she gets back once she actually leaves i'll be able to contact her once a week via email but right now she's doing virtual training so we're technically not dating anymore however she kind of still talks to me as if we were dating and i wasn't planning on going on any dates for a while but i sort of got roped into a double date this has been eating at me for a while so please help yeah i think you should get a lawyer um i yeah i think you should have waited till she left oh she didn't even leave yet she's doing virtual training yeah oh man yeah but here's the thing it's almost worse if you waited until she

goes to bolivia and then you can only email her once a week because if she's still texting you like you're dating even when she's over there she's gonna think like you still are dating a little bit i think a week is pretty soon for sure yeah but no i don't think you need a lawyer i think that i think you need a lawyer i think you might need a lawyer actually so wait really no yeah don't lie i don't think you need a lawyer i think you need a lawyer and i think if you wanted a lawyer i would go with morgan and morgan they're america's largest injury law firm really america's largest law firm period uh i yeah i think i probably would have waited until she left but it's tough who knows breakups are hard and i think however you want to go about

this there's no right way or wrong way just try and be respectful of their feelings you'd wait one week for her to go to bolivia wait till you're you're giving a pr trained answer that i'm being dead serious i think as long as you're respectful i mean he did it did sound like he wasn't like looking for it like it just kind of if you're broken up it just happened to him it just happened he just happened to fall i mean i've been roped into two mans and i have a i don't want to hear about you getting roped at two mans that's absolutely fucking disgusting i was getting roped jesus christ um i think as long as as long as you are broken up you're you're allowed to do whatever you want just don't be disrespectful to your your ex-girlfriend yeah yeah

we're talking power moves today like when you oh i know a power move i walked into my house we have like a rack for all our shoes i went to my bedroom i took all my shoes and just filled up the whole rack for in the thing by the door so my roommates have to bring their shoes to the room. Now that is a power move. Just like how hiring Morgan and Morgan is a power move. Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than a thousand lawyers with over $30 billion recovered for over 500,000 clients. Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. In Florida, Morgan & Morgan secured a $644 million verdict for a client

after the defense argued that the victim and his wife should receive nothing. Now that's a power move. In California, another client was recently awarded $15 million in a mid-trial settlement. Now that's a power move. And in Nashville, another client was awarded $10.6 million if you are injured. That sounds like a heck of a night at the Broadway's. if you're injured by the negligence of another you deserve to be paid if you're ever injured you can check out morgan and morgan their fee is free unless they win for more information go to

for the people.com slash playdate or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone that's for the people.com slash playdate or pound law pound 529 this is a paid advertisement if you ain't got no mug then take your mug mug I got that dog in me boys I seriously do have that dog in me I'm not kidding I have been going nuts today in all the best ways I wrote

a 45 page movie and it's going to be two hours long so it's minimal dialogue riddle me that this episode is brought to you by mug root beer indulge in the creamy vanilla flavor of your childhood with this nostalgic

soda guaranteed to help you let out your inner dog willie name a time you had that dog in you i scored 14 goals in my in a world cup match right no not in a world cup match it was against my little brother in uh soccer in our backyard but it felt like the world cup also i don't have a little brother i have a confession to make it was my cousin i just said brother because i was thinking of how much he's like a brother to me that's very nice uh i personally am a mug zero guy but i've been known to crack a mug heavy everyone i'm into every kind and if it has an m a u and a g i'm in to it i'm there guys so next time you're craving something cold and frothy crack open a mug root beer find mug

root beer at your local store or head to www.mugrootbeer.com slash find dash mug to find out how you can get your paws on some mug and be sure to throw them a follow online at mug root beer i really do feel like my my little cousin is like let's get back into the episode confessions should we hear some confessions here we go forgive me father for i have sinned back in the early days of the pods rusty said his snapchat on the pod i thought it would be funny to add him fast forward a few days later and i'm with a hinge date one thing leads to another and we hook up a few minutes later i looked at my phone and rusty added me back on snapchat while i was losing my virginity wait what i don't i mean i don't use snapchat so i don't i don't think this is true but that sounds

like it happened so while you were losing your virginity she looked at her phone and i had added her back on snapchat or he had no you had added her but no i'm saying is this a guy or a girl this is a girl okay well i'm sorry for adding you back on the snap how does he know it's a girl it reads like a girl she's a virginity i don't think if i added you back that would be i i that was a miss i when i accidentally leaked my snapchat on the pod like years ago the first few people that added me i was like i don't know this isn't like i added them back because like i thought i knew them so i have a few like playmates that were like sending me snapchats and i sometimes i forget i open them it's like they're like high schoolers and i'm like i yeah maybe that may have

men oh yeah okay cool okay forgive me father for i have sinned when i need a cool song for my instagram post i look at willie d's insta and steal one of his heaven heaven uh forgive me father for i've sinned back freshman year of college i started dating this guy who had a weird obsession with me uh making me finish hard jesus uh squirt in parentheses it got to a point Where he felt like he wasn't adequate enough To do such a thing And he got really down about it one day So one day I drank a lot of water

And we did it and I pissed all over him He was really happy and proud of himself But I've lived with the guilt of pissing on a guy ever since So heaven or hell for me XOXO Laura Heaven because you went to great lengths To make him happy Squirt is also pee right

It's just pee I think so hell forgive me father bryson when i was a freshman in high school i went to summer camp and stayed with a group of guys i didn't know we quickly became friends and we would get each other's backs for the remainder of camp our counselor was kind of a strange guy who did a lot of interesting things like do duolingo every night with volume up he was a bit of an awkward guy too one night when we're all hanging out in the cabin our leader was at a counselor meeting and wouldn't be back for a while we were discussing how we're going to prank him one of my buddy says

what if i come in his bed we thought it would be better if it was just on his blanket we all thought it would be so funny but didn't believe he would actually do it a few minutes later he decided he's going to come on a counselor's blanket we all stand guard outside both cabin doors while he's in there jerking off in the end there is semen on this poor guy's blanket we do nothing to stop it our counselor never mentioned it although i wasn't the one who did it i encouraged him and help him get away with it hell is heaven even an option the the lowest lowest ring of hell because if he didn't mention that means he didn't find it and hell he probably oh my god he probably got it on him hell crumb uh forgive me father for i've sinned it has been years since my last

confession when i was a young man with extremely restrictive internet access i managed to convince my strict parents let me have my cousin's old xbox 360 on the only condition that i would only play minecraft one night i got the idea in my young horny mind i'll attempt to build a beautiful naked woman from my imagination for my own enjoyment i constructed my masterpiece over many months as i was only allowed to play for an hour every night once she was complete i spanked myself silly and had the worst post-nut clarity ever i burned my entire many month project with lava and gave the xbox to my brother and just self-reflected for a while love the pod boys it's the greatest that's the greatest thing i've ever you got so it's a hoarding you built like a

it's like my precious you built like your creation you gooned off once and then just burned it with lava that is and got rid of the xbox dude i wonder how hot he was able to make her i don't want to see her like if it took him months i bet he like got pretty good at it and she was kind of shapely yeah oh my god the the idea of finishing finishing what you were doing and then immediately being like oh my god and just climbing he climbed to the top of the woman and just burnt kind of like dramatic yeah like yeah that is so funny heaven heaven because heaven because you yeah heaven you're a good guy that's the fun that's truly the funniest story i've ever heard all right one more actually should we just end on that one yeah that was beautiful we love

you guys have a great rest of your wednesday have a great weekend have a great rest of your monday great tuesday and we'll see you bright and early on wednesday peace out