Will & Rusty's Playdate - kid barber

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

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Speaking of all-star teams, you will not believe who was on my flight this morning. um chris paul no wait dallas to la dallas to la luca no no no all right let me let me give you a hint let me give you a hint it's not it's not a person it's a group of people and there is a zero chance you could name any of them and it's not the blue man group it's the Baja men the Jabbawockeez who let the dog down it was it was the all pro team of the women's tackle football league oh you know and there's like it's like like there'll be like a group of women in the

in football pads and they like go down the line and they're like my name's Rex you know like all online yeah maybe this is you recognize them no but they were holding their pads what is this like like a true true like football league or is it like the lingerie one no this is this is like this is like legit okay like so they like wear like actual pads yeah i don't know i'm gonna be honest like do they wear pants they definitely wear pants okay i don't think the lingerie one exists anymore i think in 2026 i think that was like one day and then they just film enough content to like saturate the internet for a few years wait can you look it up what is the women's professional league it was the all pro game must have or the pro all-star game like

pro bowl i guess they're pro bowl google like pro women's pro bowl pro football the women's football alliance yeah yeah no it wasn't that because she had pats yeah that wasn't flag oh yeah pretty cool woman's well nice but you get any autographs i did not i will say i i partied pretty hard this weekend so i was kind of like fighting through it and when i saw them it was like it just made it worse for somebody because it was so funny but i just couldn't enjoy it sure you know in any other day it was funny because they were women playing sports well no i'm just trying to figure out why it was funny we just give it a second it was because they were chasing their dreams you were like cracking up

because their dreams are less valid than yours no it's just like they clearly like you know when you when you a football player is carrying their pads and like the jerseys over the pads yeah they were carrying it like that just on the plane yeah and i just thought it was funny like because they were telling people like that we were in the pro bowl it would just be it was just funny i don't know you you wish you could make the woman the pro bowl i wish i do it that would be awesome that'd be sick how was dallas it was awesome and can i tell you about my uber uber i met i think he might be the greatest uber driver of all time this is armenian guy named arthur and he my golf clubs couldn't fit in his

trunk so he had to put the golf clubs in the back seat and then i had to sit shotgun with him nice So Artie is like a hilarious situation. Is he driving a smart car? No, he was driving a BMW 7 Series. Is that nice? I don't know. It's just what it is. It's a BMW car.

And so we're sitting shotgun and I was like, fuck, like I kind of was going to be in the back like on my phone. But when you're shotgun, it's like we have to chat. and it's like a 35 minute ride so i was like all right we'll we'll chat and we're kind of getting a feel for each other and then we're listening to the radio and the radio host goes goes clive davis died this morning at 93 if you know anything about music you know clive davis and him and i both look at each other like who we don't know anything about music apparently neither of us know anything about music and so i like that's when i realized like

he's a cool guy because we both looked at each other and we're like what are you sorry if you know anything about music you know who clive davis yeah i saw that this morning too i had to learn about him this morning he's a producer right he ran with like dr dre and yeah yeah yeah madonna i think yeah yeah whitney houston him and like david geffen i feel like we're the two like top producing if you know anything about music you know who clive davis is like there are guys there are billions of people that know what the guitar is but they don't know who i mean there were cave men that knew about music and they sure as hell didn't know about clive davis it was just one of those things where it was like why would you say that yeah you know that's not true i think they

just meant like you've heard a song by him for sure oh by him or like produced by produced by am yeah let's let's google what is what is clive david it's gonna be like the jazz time quartet swinging through the hills it was the number one record of all time when adjusted for inflation and how bad it was uh ah yes the columbia years i actually have no idea what he he won five grammys that feels low for like the the amount of times i've heard about him this morning like i walked in and ty was like oh my god sobbing okay he did uh

oh he did the payola scandal i hope when we i hope when we die in our lives our lives are on are like summarized i want a section that says the columbia years like i got lost i lost myself and i went to south columbia i think i meant like columbia records almost positive uh is he gay um no he was married to two women so how did he win the he was recognized by the equality forum as the one of the 31 icons of lgbt history month wow oh no no yeah he came out as bisexuality nice it came out as bisexuality he's bisexual he's yeah he started it like if you're you can it's kind of you can be like i'm clive wait look at this a 2024 interview with davis conducted by blah blah was published on mooboo tv yeah like that's what i'm talking about how is mooboo tv

if clive davis was like a guy that if you knew anything about music you know clive davis's i'm sure his documentary would be on like netflix it's on mooboo it's on fucking mooboo tv dude my dad's been watching uh angus's show not suitable for work have you not i've been watching it not at the pace that your dad watched that shit double speed watching it on double time yeah oh my god oh my god oh my god it's really funny my and my dad's like not really a tv guy yeah like he's like a live an almond butter guy he's an almond butter guy he's like he like he watches the news and sports yeah if it's not happening right now i don't want he doesn't want to watch it i kind of general yeah i'm i like i like sports and i like the news i don't watch the news though can i tell

you what i've been doing lately thank please save me i've been putting the news on in the morning okay because i just feel like that's what like when i'm like making breakfast i'm like i feel like that's what's supposed to be put on like cnbc me yeah i i kind of i i don't have an allegiance to anyone i think i used to maybe do that's what you told me last time cnbc it's like the business news oh yeah i i was watching like fast money okay yeah but here's the thing they're like wrong all the time like kramer the guy that like i think that's oh jerry kramer is like not a good like i don't know how he has a job there's a there's a fund that it does the opposite of what he says and it's up like 40 i was thinking about doing a sketch or something you know like the dave

ramsay show yeah i love dave ramsay all right what's the problem like well dave i'm currently at gunpoint in the closet of my bedroom okay all right and uh what's your overhead what's your yeah how much do you have in the bank sir he's coming i can hear the footsteps getting closer okay okay and this is you inherited this or i don't know it's just like i feel like the way he talks in the way 911 operators are like the same cadence he he's so funny because he uh he's like a normal guy i think i like but like gets some time it's like when gordon ramsay like you can't tell if he's gonna like freak out at a guy for some for like doing like a minor thing or if he's like in a good mood like there are some days where he's like you only get one laugh here like

get that corvette and then there's another guy will call and he's like thinking about selling my tesla and getting a truck and he's like i will kill you i'll shoot you yeah if you do that i think i don't know i i can't even wrap my mind around it i don't know i don't know do you want Because he's Gordon Ramsay's brother. Oh, my God. They're both Ramseys. Yeah. What are the odds of that?

Do you think I only said that because they have the same last name? Duh. Maybe. And Mason Ramsey? Oh, my God. They're all brothers. They're all brothers. They all kind of look like they could be brothers.

Is that something? I love that little guy. Mason Ramsey, a big guy now, dude. You should put on like 300 pounds. I'm not even kidding. Have you seen what he looks like now? Shut the fuck up. I've seen, like, you think I'm, like, that out of the loop on Ramsey?

I busted. I was playing Fetch with Birdie a couple days ago, and I'm not proud. I'm not proud that this happened. It's not of her character, but I just need to get it out there. You know that orange ball we play Fetch with? No, but I believe you. I trust you. i trust you that it's all right i can picture it she was carrying it and and she dropped it

and kind of like did the like dog circle thing where they're trying to figure out like where they want to poop and just pooped on her ball and i was like been there sometimes you just get the wrong angle oh my god oh my god that's been pooping on your balls do you think that's like a thing our grandparents have to deal with because they like get so saggy uh i usually just deal with it myself but i've definitely thought about making my grandparents deal with it dude you have been on fire the last couple weeks oh my god what was i gonna say though i oh my god dude my fucking worst fear happened with the

world cup my game means nothing yeah we already like won didn't we yeah we clinched the group still be a fun game our ticket price is going down yeah really yeah because it literally is there's no stakes to the game at all like we can't even move up in our like placement or anything like it's oh really turkey's eliminated we've clinched the group there's nothing they can't get better like anyone we're gonna rest everyone with a yellow card in pulisic and yeah they can't get like better seating in the really doesn't no is it already predetermined like the winner of group whatever plays the second place of group wow but the good news is it's we can't there's no chance like you know if it did matter for us like to move on and then we lost

it'd be like a bum so now it's like no matter what happens it's a party we're moving on so i think i've come around on it and i'm like it's just gonna be like a big celebration yeah we're just like sing songs drink beer dance around watch some soccer yeah it's like a soccer bar It's like the most lit soccer bar because it's like everyone's going to be happy. Yeah. This is the best our team has like fucking ever been ever. Oh, my God. Do you watch the game on Friday?

Yeah. So, I mean, we look so good. I mean, the ending was a little scary, but still. We look, and I've never claimed to know a lot about soccer. Yeah. We look as good as anyone. I'm like getting, I was playing FIFA all weekend. I bought FIFA and I've just.

Do you get FIFA or FC? FC. They don't make FIFA. It's just FC. FIFA makes FIFA. it's like a horrible game really it's on like netflix can you pull this up it's like fifa on netflix now fifa on netflix now they tried to they tried to um yeah fifa is a game available to play right now on netflix so fifa chart tried to charge ea sports an extra like 150 million

dollars to use the name yeah they were just like oh never call it fc he's like we'll just we'll just we don't even need you yeah everyone still plays fc yeah have you been playing with the classic teams no i've been playing with well i have 25 but i just got 26 yesterday i guess so i haven't it hasn't finished installing or probably has i just haven't played it yet it's like 20 minutes didn't um no it's like 70 gigs and i was also streaming something while it was downloading so watch it in case you're wondering um oh my god wait so i'm at a bar in dallas i know i know i was being safe yeah exactly yes that is what they say so we go to this irish pub it's bumping and when we walk in i'm like i just hear like no way and i

turn around it's my buddy's little brother that i haven't seen in like six years sure i was like dude let's like you know start rolling with my crew and so we go over hanging out i'm like huddy you want another beer he's like huddy huddy his name's hudson huddy yeah wait lil huddy his name's hudson and we're like i'm like you want another beer he's like yeah let's go we walk over there is this literal i'm not joking he might have been seven feet tall guy with like a one of those braided gray beards like crazy fucking hair he's huge he's in like big ass boots and he has a backpack sitting in front of him on the bar we like kind of squeezed in there he's like kind of away from the bar we like kind of squeezed in next to his backpack and he comes around he

goes are you rifling through my backpack and i thought he was like joking so i was like yeah man we're totally yeah we're rifling through your stuff grabs both of us by the neck and is like why would you say that i'm gonna fucking kill you why would you say that and the bartenders are like whoa whoa and the bouncers come they separate us they bring us outside and they're like what happened and i told them exactly what i just told you and they go he's a rational guy he would never overreact like this we're like he's doing it right now like we didn't yeah they were like he's a regular he would never do that i'm like you watched it happen and then the guy goes i mean you guys seem like not the type of guys to be doing what he's saying you're like

just none of it made sense to them yeah and we were like so what do you want us to do and they were like you can finish your drinks and then you can leave and we were like what and they were like and then another guy came out and he's like wait they clearly didn't do anything wrong that guy freaked the fuck out just like stay on that side of the bar he'll stay on this side of the bar don't like fuck with him anymore we were like noted definitely not gonna fuck with him it was like it was like the it was one of those ones where i was like this might be the first time this might be like a bar fight he was like so so so mad did you rifle through his backpack no but i was like i was like if we're gonna get all the fucking negatives of rifling through his

backpack i want to get some of the take a peek i didn't wait so what all right he says did you right with my backpack and you say i said yeah we're right i just like like i get where you're at but having to explain that that to the mitigator it's like and i said yeah we were right i told the bouncer i was like because in hindsight it doesn't really even make sense as like a joke yeah like i just like i didn't know what else to say he was like fucking i just thought he was fucking around and i got like nerve he was a huge guy and that was just what came out of my mouth and so it was like i kind of get where i kind of get how he arrived where he got i kind of get what made him think you were rifling through his backpack it was because we were like

so like cramped in there we were just near his backpack and i think he was also just like a crazy person like i think there are just guys that are crazy well i love that like if i'm the bar owner i'm definitely kicking one of the two parties out i'm not being like all right stay on different sides of the bar don't let it happen again like what is their upside to like even keeping you there we were buying a lot of drinks okay yeah i'm on your side i'm just saying if i'm the bar owner i'm kicking one of the two of you parties out i agree and you know what probably him definitely the guy he was choking us yeah you grab like you can't grab someone's neck even if They are rifling through your back.

I guess it's Texas. Well, no. If you rifle through his backpack, he could grab your neck, I think. That feels fair. You can grab my nuts. You can grab your nuts. He can grab you by your neck. The bartender's like, there's like a chart.

It's like, if he's rifling through your backpack, then the punishment is nuts. If he's rifling through your nuts, then you can grab his neck. Paper beats scissors. Wait. That's not right. It's all on the same chart. yeah it's like a one one key fits all like it tells you a backpack that beats rock it's the key it's like the magna carta yeah like it has all the information everything if an alien

showed up right now the magna carta has i think the mag isn't the magna carta like how or i'm thinking of the uh the rosetta stone oh yes 10 languages and you could like cross reference i think the magna carta is like like the constitution of england isn't it yeah magna carta was like the first form of democracy basically magna carta 1215 limited the power of that king wasn't the first democracy yeah that was like something you had to memorize right didn't we have that hasn't that come up yeah we brought it up before it's just basically law limiting the power of the king foundational royal charter sealed by king john of england drafted to make peace between the unpopular king and rebel barons it established a crucial principle that everyone

whatever happened to barons subject to the law there used to be barons left and right and now there were robber barons there were whatever red bear get out of here pizza back then now it's all newman's own i love red baron i love newman's own i do too i'm not allowed to have frozen pizza anymore though so too myself i told ty i told everyone in my house i'm not allowed to have frozen pizza anymore because i shit myself silly i shit myself silly it like is so it's 20 minutes of pure bliss and then the rest of the weekend i'm like keeled over yeah i think that's more dijono though i think i could probably get away with the newman zone dijonos are thick dijonos are thick and i also think it's like it would be like it's not even a gluten or dairy thing it's

like i'm eating like glue isn't that just delivery though or wait what am i thinking i yeah andrew eats pizza once a week i do yeah wait have you made any progress on like who your pizza but your uh i've gotten a lot of offers i'm kind of just weighing my options have you actually gotten offers no nobody's nobody's reached are you gonna take my advice and shop it around yeah absolutely show me your nuts i mean um i would kind of rather be chased than be the chaser you know i attract yeah i don't chase but um it's not really working out for me so maybe i should start being the chaser and reach out to i could be the chaser and you could be the star but i do need to find a new uh a new pizza place because i also will usually have

wing stop once a week and that i can't hold it down anymore shit immediately you look really good for a guy that has wing stop and pizza once a week so my girlfriend says too yeah well you know you substitute it with working out i guess are you huh and you don't make the rest of you know how you make a wing stop you don't pay her you don't pay her that's right sorry i messed up the clip oh my god i'm clip farming i uh i was so we did a founding fathers themed nice bar crawl i was oh yeah that's right it was ben franklin yeah be frank and uh i want to get ahead i want to get out ahead of this there is a there you may have seen a video online harper's girlfriend i'm joking it was on her private story there were these like irish guys

or scottish guys that had peppermint like you know they like snort peppermint you've ever seen this it looks like cocaine and it's in this like peppermint thing no no it's in like a like a cylinder that like is you can buy it at a store whatever and he's pouring it out and everyone at the we're out in the open at the bar doing this and she took a video of me doing it but cut out the part where it's me the guy dumping it out of the thing and so it looks like i'm just doing a bump of coke and she didn't she was like oh my god i was gonna put like context of text on it wait what is this can you look up like snortable peppermint the guy was just giving me coke yeah what it like opened up my like sinuses it was very cool yeah

that little like cylinder on the top left this one no no the first thing it was really cool i like enjoyed it a lot oh yeah fake german oktoberfest coke it looks more like why do they why do they do it though like it didn't really it just felt cool it's like smelling salts but maybe who's this one guy like to get off coke yes na coke you get a small sugar rush when it hits and the menthol has a cooling sinus uh i think i might start doing it like on a regular basis it was cool i think that seems weird also it sounds like someone made it up so that they could like do coke if like enough people are doing that then like right it's like oh they're probably just

also doing that yeah like a virgin drink it was one of those things where i was like i feel like a bartender is going to come up to us and be like stop doing that but you're not doing anything wrong yeah that's weird though but i feel like yeah something about putting something anything up your nose feels like wrong it's like putting something up your ass right no matter if you're at the bar even if it's the right thing to put up your ass it still feels even if it's like a suppository the book suppository yeah that's where lee harvey oswald was well i i've been working on this the book suppository where you put it up your ass and you get all the knowledge from it without having to read it.

Lee Harvey Aswad. You ever heard about his gay cousin, Lee Harvey Aswad? He went to the, yeah. I don't know. Oh, Dallas. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see Andrew's house or family

or where Lee Harvey Aswad shot JFK or anything? Hang out with my mom. You know what? I didn't hang out with your mom. I saw George W. Bush's locker at Peter's Country Club. That was kind of cool. Wow. Number 43.

president yeah does he still golf there yeah he i think he was out the same day we were there because there was secret service there really that would be a weird coincidence if that's pretty if uh if he wasn't there yeah you know laura bush a guy i worked with almost hit her with a van wow ever tell you that no we were you know i was a pool boy back in the day they have a they have like a a house in kenny bunkport and we like you know that was kind of our that was kind of our turf we did all the neighbors there and apparently when they were driving the van in and laura bush came like flying by in a golf cart and they almost hit her and then so secret service would take so long checking the van out every time they'd come it was like not worth the money so we dropped

or they dropped us i'm sorry that's a is this fine to talk about i mean it's been a couple years i'm kind of over it but yeah i mean it's stung for sure they were like family and yeah just to be discarded like that was because the the the hardest part is not knowing if the next guy's taking care of you know the ph balance the same way you would sure sure yeah like you know laura's skin reacted weird to the alkaline so we used a substitute and it's just like i don't know it's hard it's hard to think yeah new person in there um oh i'm getting like residually emotional now i know i know but andrew uh i can't keep it together do you have anything we will rebuild well i was wondering

like how your buddy was taking it uh that you came and visited him for his going away party because this was a strong debate on the last episode about whether or not it was weird to fly in for your buddy's going away party. He thought it was awesome. He did. He thought it was awesome. Oh, yeah, it was a surprise.

Was he, like, shocked? No, so he totally, he claims he didn't know anything was going on, but he entered the room like this. And so we were like, dude, like, you at least have to pretend that you don't, because we were also like what if it was just nothing and you just walked wait but did you know you were gonna be there no but he like okay the way he entered the room we were like come on yeah

you gotta at least play a little bit into it yeah i had a funny one uh my aunt did i tell you this like i went to her surprise birthday party in like february and she got like really nauseous in the uber to her own surprise party so she was like in like the parking lot outside the party and we were like everyone was like ducked under and like what's she doing out there like i don't know like something's going on and they she apparently was like i think i i think maybe we should just go home and they're like no no you have to go in there she like ralphing in the parking lot she was like i might throw up yeah like she didn't but then it was really funny i threw a i threw a surprise party for my buddy one time and to like get him out of the house for

like a couple hours i had this girl like take him out to dinner and you were like whatever it takes i was like whatever you need i'm getting pretty tired she's like i'll give you a head i'll give you a head exactly and she's gonna take a long time i'll give you long head i have long covid anyway uh getting long head this the pleasure lasts for like months oh yes he has long head it's been three years Andrew I could roll me shaky yeah

mine oh to ignore him he's got a long head wait I have some after you tell finish your story well I was just gonna say

um when he got back like the whole party like he was surprised by it but he was acting kind of like weird the whole party and after everyone left

I was like hey man are you good and he goes so uh so she just she just went to dinner with me because she was just trying

to get me out of the house oh i was like oh yeah yeah we just like we're trying to set this whole thing he goes damn i really liked her and i was like oh shit and i was like well maybe maybe she'll like go on another date and nothing why was she the person that took him um i was just like oh she'll stall for a long time like she talks a lot so i was like it'll be a while but i guess he got feelings and i felt bad can you look up drawing of a habitual masturbator i saw this what this thing the other day like you know like in like medical journals and like the 1800s they'd like draw because we didn't they couldn't like take a photo so like they'd have to now there's photos of habitual masturbators

yeah there's two hour videos mondays and wednesdays uh yeah this is this is they this is a doctor's drawing of a habitual masturbator kind of nailed it he's the goon father I got a couple boys that look like this yeah he's the goat I saw this on Instagram and the comments were cracking me up

what did they say like the goon father the master baiter it was awesome you should just have it but like they thought like masturbate like you could like jerk yourself silly where you just be like i think you can't

i mean look at him like did you hear about terry cruz 13 hours straight jerking i did see that he was jerking off for 13 you do it for 13 hours straight he said unbelievable how do you not come i mean he probably did and kept going yeah like hurt rub yourself i don't know he said he was like on set right and like yeah he had an off day he would just jerk off for 13 except from 10 a.m to midnight wait why do you think a sex addict yeah huh i guess if you're a sex addict that's like the same that's like your na beer you know what i mean like you're like if i go outside i can't trust myself so i just have to jerk off for 13 hours yeah i don't know if he was addicted to sex i don't know the na beers are bad

for you he's jerking off bad for you in that volume yeah like i think you could have 100 interviews and be fine and what would happen and what would happen if you did for 13 hours straight and everyone still liked you at work yeah huh huh you know what's weird if you drop for 13 hours straight everyone still likes you at work yeah they don't know it's like you have a whole different life that yeah they don't even have to know about there is probably someone in this office that that like does shit like that and we just don't know the goon father there we probably the goon father is probably amongst us and we wouldn't i know venting fuck i should did you ever vent a couple of times imposter he is so bad at this game not in this game playing verbal

verbal among us we're just we're sitting around that's our campfire game that's our kids are gonna play like instead of mafia they'll play verbal among us dude my kids are gonna be playing fucking uh scrabble crewman they're one years old crewman that's a crewman thing crewmate crewmate thing to say crewmate imposter doesn't know the name of the other sussy i my leg is hurting a little so i'm trying to stretch it i was playing i played my nuts off at tennis yesterday i'm getting so good at tennis yeah i don't play i could kick your fucking ass bro i i am sure of it who are you playing with chet will peters this will peters or other will peters other will peters i love other i love both will peters but i i definitely like i definitely like

the other one too oh they're gonna say more oh no no i don't really know either of them well enough to yeah have a preference but i like both of them did you guys play a match yeah we played two sets who won i choked away the first set ended up losing uh seven five but then or six four and then i won the second set six two so then who won the tiebreaker we haven't we gotta we're playing tomorrow why do you guys always split up the third i mean we've been playing for over two hours and it was 9 p.m on saturday yesterday sunday ah i would just be nervous like if i just had to sit around and think about nervous i mean it literally means nothing there's no stakes i don't know bragging rights it's my new favorite thing in the world we bring a speaker

it's like your golf yeah and it's just good x like it's just like good exercise it's awesome Do you think tennis is Tennis You know tennis players run More than any Sport other than soccer I heard I heard that stat as well

And it doesn't really make any sense to me I guess soccer was what I thought Lacrosse Yeah Long distance Things because the matches are so long tennis so much like three hours you're running that three hours yeah so you look up um can you

yeah get the perpetual get the habitual masturbator perpetual someone discovered perpetual masturbation the hardest part about perpetual masturbation is hiding the motor that's true it's hiding the evidence yeah that's that tiktok comment you see on every video about dude there were comments on that pod being like finally someone's talking about really it's a real thing yeah i've gotten dms about it can i go to the bathroom i have perpetual emotion you know rusty america's coming up on its 250th anniversary that's right well and no one is more excited about it than me and also mountain dew so i would like to take a second if you're down to just talk about some of our all-time favorite moments

that made you feel like an American. Yeah. I could start if you'd like. When I was growing up in Charleston, there was a huge statue of Uncle Sam on the corner of my block. And one morning, it went missing. And the next morning, a thousand June bugs flew in and dropped it right on our doorstep with a note that said,

america is forever friendship is sometimes but america is forever that happened that did happen didn't something like that happen to you dude something very similar actually happened in my hometown yes joni benoit who famously won the uh the olympics the marathon olympics is from my hometown and she raced a statue of ben franklin and beat him by he never even left the finish line really and we go this is what america is all about i will say america's been around for 250 years if that means if you had a mountain dew every year for every year america was alive you'd be president you'd have a great year you'd have a great year all right yeah well cheers to that buddy cheers to this country to mountain dew and america and

america guys it's summer season all right and my cooler is stocked with ice cold mountain dew i was at the beach all day saturday guys mountain dew was proudly born in the foothills of tennessee back in 1948 it is an american original and it has been tasting great since 48 nothing goes better with your summer and hanging with your friends than an ice cold mountain dew cookouts boat days fishing trips watching the game days out on the river dew is part of the moment guys enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of mountain dew an american original tasting great since 48 come on baby willie here's a question for you do you have any trouble sleeping yes do you wish you could fall sleep faster oh yes sleep deeper and wake up without grogginess well you just named all my

favorite things come on baby are all the things i'm dealing with sorry yes that's where you could baby use some ultra here's the thing most sleep solutions have terrible side effects melatonin gummies are way overdosed and don't work fast enough over-the-counter meds like zzz quill cause next day brain fog and build tolerance within a couple of weeks not built for use every night and prescription meds can make you feel more dependent on drugs just to sleep and that is why i recently started using ultra's new sleep pouches they've been a complete game changer the idea is genius everyone uses pouches for focus and energy ultra took that idea and flipped it they help you wind down fall asleep and stay asleep and they use just six clean research

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with code playdate and after you purchase they're going to ask where you heard about them please support our show and tell them that we sent you let's get back into the episode here's something we're just we're just listening to brandy you're a fine brandy in parentheses you're a fine girl yeah you know it's about a girl named randy but he thought that that sounded too like masculine i think you've told us this before it's like my off the pod it's like my favorite randy fact uh you know randy also means horny like in british really in britain like they'll be like randy jackson was michael jackson's brother that's what i was saying that's true randy jackson is michael jackson's brother isn't that insanity that's crazy i've been seeing a lot

more of that impersonator that michael jackson impersonator you've seen the guy like he's like he's an impersonator himself obviously because he's alive but uh he like will go and like watch other impersonators and watch like he's the real michael jackson can you pull this up have you seen this like he like watches and like looks so proud watching watching other impersonators but he's not my he's also like the he's like the the when michael jackson was whiter so he's a white dude who knows what this guy's video wait i think he must have also had plastic surgery to look like michael jackson wait this is awesome isn't that wild you know michael jackson uh was never uh did like uh any dancing

no i know i didn't know that i thought that was like it like almost this whole thing bail me take me off the air i take me off the air take me off the FCC come please how oh god what some guy at the FCC is like oh i got long head make it stop oh my god wait that's like you know who has long head that guy who comes eight times a day on it's like fucking 80 times yeah he said dude the saddest eight times a day might be worse because it'd be like you can kind of get on with your life and then yeah 80 is like i know that this is going to be an issue constantly it's like i can probably run to the store yeah and then and then you're in the bread aisle and you're gonna look at like a fucking piece bag of chips and

i thought that was that obviously like it's sad that he has to deal with that but i like thought it was funny until the line where he was like you don't know the pain of being over your father's casket and coming yeah i forgot about that that's actually a bummer i mean yeah the he just looks so defeated he falls to his knees in the park and he's just like no and again i don't even know what to make of that would you rather be that guy or the girl that had hiccups for like 30 years dead is there a third option that's just never born i don't know i don't know i don't know either i don't know the rules i don't i don't remember how this works how do hypotheticals work again i think it's like you can do one but you also could do the other got it my you know

my were your parents ever like very like they'd get mad if you gave them an ultimatum like that was like a thing when we were kids they'd be like i don't do ultimatums what is it like in what context being like if you don't get me this i'm gonna do this and they'd just be like no uh my dad would say i don't negotiate with terrorists yeah okay yeah so i think it's sort of the same getting at a similar thing yeah yesterday was father's day yes my dad went to a wilco concert nice i was like that is like the super bowl a wilco concert on father's day oh my god it was that like the national because my brother went with my brother and yeah i was like that's probably like you're probably gonna see every dad dad and son i want to take a competition like you're like

with uh sam and your dad are trying to like have as much fun as all the other guys like they look over and there's a father and son like with their arms around each other and jesus don't cry yeah you can't rely on me honey you can't come by anything you want so disturbing to look at i'll be around you were right about to start vibrating like each one is a setting son wait speaking of vibrators i just heard this story and i'm trying to remember i'm trying to piece together luke told me this when we were like hammered my friend luke he said i'm trying to remember the exact thing it was like something along the line this is i guess not how podcast works where you're like i think it was something like this you need to calm down over there

fell in love with the drummer is that something stop humping sir um i believe the story was he looked out his window and a guy had one of those like giant wand vibrators and you're just like whoa what do you mean there was just a guy like going to town on his lady with like a like the the vibra that's like the size of like a louisville slugger wait wait on the street i think he said like out he looked like out his window and it was like into another brother peeped in someone's window while they were having sex no do you want to hear about a real peeping tom though we were at an unnamed family friend's house okay and uh i mean to be fair none of no i just none of my family friend's houses have names but

and he had a telescope and the telescope was pointing down you did and i was like what is it what's up with the telescope and i looked through it it just went directly into the pilates studio across the street it's uh a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll baby yeah it's getting long top oh it's just like long head the same joke oh it's the same joke from earlier from earlier this episode oh my god they just did this oh they're doing the same joke from earlier this episode again oh oh oh my god it's the same one from earlier and scene should we road map it up yeah all right we got a beautiful episode wait can i tell you about my week yes unreal week i'm about to have softball game today last regular season game

playoffs have you guys won a game yet yeah we've won like five oh i thought you guys were winless again no oh okay you made that up no you assumed the worst no that was something we had some big off-season additions hurley nate liz is nasty don't talk about her that she's insane at softball and uh we're firing on all cylinders softball the night tomorrow tennis into audrey hobert concert wednesday pick up basketball game and then my buddy ben flies in ben five is yeah thursday morning cy my other buddy flies in thursday night world cup friday night kid cuddy concert that's all yeah that is like next level yeah i'm doing like a hundred things what how like that almost seems like overwhelming i know i'm kind of like dreading it i yeah it's like too much of a

good thing it's like chocolate cake it's like belgian chocolate cake this is way too much or belching any cake belching cake sucks speaking of what is belching is it like do you go yeah it's like a more guttural burp i threw up on the plane this morning did you actually in the trash can no in the toilet that's better yeah because it's silently where i was like i can yeah do you go party yesterday no but i had we had enough beers at golf and dinner that i had like just delayed yeah yeah all the we were drinking i drank thursday through sunday yeah you got in this morning i got in this morning damn i know it's dedication i know well it's on me i was supposed to get in last night but i wanted to play golf yesterday so i moved my flight to monday

morning and i had the nicest flight attendant in the world but i just was like i felt she could tell how much pain i was in was like trying to help me and it just wasn't working dylan's car got broken into by who some sort of vigil a vandal a vandal didn't take anything what just for the love of the game well he took like an old debit card that had no money on it but he didn't he left did he smash a window no the door was unlocked oh so a guy opened a guy opened his car yeah okay do you guys street park uh i try not to we have two spots so one is in our driveway and one's uh yeah but you don't have anything like you don't like a garage or yeah that's what happened when i lived in venice i left my car unlocked one time and somebody like

went through my whole like console and everything and just left a bunch of trash in my car but didn't take anything it's like they they that used to happen because that my jeep didn't have a top like homeless people just want to sleep in it they just want a comfy place to sleep and the problem i don't have i actually don't i didn't have a problem with it 90 of the time but the trash thing is crazy like you're using my car just clean up after just clean up after yourself pack it in pack it out there was a guy that slept in my car uh in the winter in which i was like do what you need to do it's fucking five degrees outside but it's he just reeked he was just a stinky guy and so my car just stunk for like a day and a half wait would

you catch them in the morning no i'd i'd either like hear my car door like close in the morning or there would be trash or it would reek oh the reeking one was was it like every night no no no this happened four times at total oh okay this is like if i left my car door unlocked or if it was summer and the top was off i feel like you'll have loved this movie have you ever seen big fat liar dude that is like my that's like my marley and me okay bingo so i haven't seen it but you love the sketch that we just shot on thursday was like in the passenger seat like the script of it yeah in dylan's car so i was isn't that premise of that movie like he finds a script and like makes it before him so i was laughing that like the homeless guys are

gonna release our sketch because it doesn't come out until like the end of july it's like some the homeless guys shoot and release our sketch in the next couple weeks oh my god yeah he that movie was that was one that like uh like one family would have it and we'd like trade it around like the alexanders would like give it to us for the weekend and we'd like watch and then we'd give it back and they'd give it to the pinkles the pinkles yeah yes you think role model ever watched your copy of big fat lion that is a good question probably wow probably wow wow did you guys ever have one of those minivans that had like the movie yeah did you really and i would bring my jealous our game cube we would bring it on long road trips and we would play nba 2k 2005 or

whatever oh that's incredible that thing i didn't know you could do that you had to plug in in the back i thought it was only like a cd thing but it had like it has like component like in the back it had like the yeah yeah yeah it was like do you know how they got that name he was looking at his sister's sewing machine that said acdc on the back he was like oh that's true um so that takes to answer your question we didn't have a minivan but my mom had uh a lexus that had two tvs on the back and one of them bruno had gotten you ever seen bruno i know it's like a sasha baron coen it's a sasha baron coen like extremely like graphic like there's like a scene where it's just like a penis like spinning on that like it's like my mom like did not know yeah what this was

and it got stuck in her car so the only that if you wanted to watch something it was gonna be bruno and we were like not old enough to watch bruno and apparently like the first time she heard us like oh my god and she like craned her neck around and it was like a grown man's penis like swinging around on the screen and she was like i should have helicoptering he was helicoptering yeah if you will i feel like that was a thing when we were kids like you just be like yeah this is this thing is stuck in this thing and that's just the way it is like that can't relate it didn't happen anymore i knew my ipod was under the passenger seat for like years and i could just never get it really yeah i had an ipod nano that i was positive was under the

passenger seat i don't know if this is a relatable thing was that a thing when you're growing up where something would be stuck somewhere and you would just all accept it you're just like that's the way i mean we definitely like ipods down there we definitely had things where it's like the antenna the antennas have to like face a certain yeah direction or like yeah or like your chart like you're like my phone charger just has to be like at an angle yeah you know what i mean okay you're just like this is just the way i'm coming around on this it is yeah or uh let's think or other people's showers or like your car yeah yeah you're like you're like i have to like do this crazy maneuver to get the shower to like oh my god i just remember we growing up like we only one

person could be showering at a time even though we had three showers why two showers the water heater just wasn't it yeah it was like the water you couldn't get hot water if two people were showering at the same time or like water pressure even yeah and so that was like a classic thing like or no you couldn't even use other shit while someone was in the shower like the toaster like yeah like the sink like you would be like trying to like i don't know use the sink or something you just hear like i'm in the shower because like the moment someone turned on the kitchen sink the shower water pressure would just like go oh i've i've seen the movies where like they flush the toilet and then the water gets really cold for some reason ours got really hot ours really the

poop would just shoot out the shower if you flush the toilet we had like that's like the exact stuff i'm talking about like yeah like in the early tooth like that's a sit now it's just ai like yelling yelling down like i'm in the shower it's like is like a beginning of like a coming of age that was literally every day in our house so you'd hear i'm in the shower because our house was like you had to yell like the the voice did not carry well what if like what if like someone's staying with you and they don't know why you're yelling at they think just the denounce just shout with their nose no they're just like i'm making toast i'm watching tv i'm dragging off fuck i should have just kept quiet

I'm in the shower I'm in the shower I'm making toast I'm in the bath I'm jacking off I'm putting something on my butt I'm shitting blood Your dad

I'm in the shower And then someone's like Your dad's like I'm fucking your mom No Don't ever say that Your mom goes Your mom goes

I'm fucking your dad also i'm eating breakfast i'm no longer jerking off i just finished jerking i'm cleaning out my jerk i'm summoning beelzebub summoning who beelzebub isn't that like the devil i don't know can you google that what is it beelzebub that sounds like maybe like the jewish devil he's a major oh yeah you're right he's a prince of hell in abrahamic religions what are abrahamic like all like islam christianity and judaism are all abrahamic interesting beelzebub has a devil set aside for me it's so interesting how much overlap there is like we agree on all these things just yeah i mean just who was loki jesus is the one who kind of made it all confusing why if he hadn't

come along we'd all be on the same page jews do you think well he's the reason that christians and jews disagree yeah i'm saying like jesus hadn't come yet we'd all be jews still but would muslim people exist yeah i don't i actually i'm not very well versed in islam i don't i i took take a class on it and i and i kind of forgot there are so fucking many of them religions yeah yeah i yeah yeah yeah there's so many religions yeah yeah and then there's so many then what grindle grindle grindle my god grink grink grink we're making that tv show you know we're writing a tv show called grink really sink you could drink it's kind of a dr seuss collab yeah you know what makes watching the world's game even more exciting getting rewarded every getting

rewarded every time the u.s scores right now you can get in on the bet mgm goal rush here's how it works just place a pre-match bet of five dollars or more on any match where the u.s is playing and For every goal Team USA scores, you'll win a share of half a million dollars in bonus bets. Every goal means more chances to win. And after the match, the bonus bets are split among all eligible winners. And if you haven't signed up for BetMGM yet, use bonus code PLAYDATE and you'll get up to $1,500 new player offer on your first wager. BetMGM, make it legendary.

Let's get back into the episode. All right, should we wrap it up? Yes. can I see an image of Beezlebub Beezlebub wait he's like a hornet I'd buy him a drink wait Willie why is he a hornet

I don't know wait are there are there princes of hell there's at least one okay we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitch followed by our pitches then we're gonna do this guy rocks followed by teach me something then we're gonna play beezlebub for an hour and a half

and then we're gonna do beach games that don't exist uh followed by disney shows that don't exist uh what is this he's a love man grand blue fantasy versus versus fringe rising send me that link and the google make him

the computer make him naked and gay and horny hi jack jill and the hill you know what i'm gonna go the hill today i'll be sydney from st louis okay i'll be pod what's the worst part of going to the pool or beach the worst part about going to the pool or beach pretty good things

sandy i mean i don't but that doesn't apply for pool maybe like uh like there's no i can't play xbox there yeah there's no xbox yeah that's exactly right having to listen to other people's music that maybe isn't your vibe introducing the sounds barrier an invisible shield that goes up around you and your crew it blocks out other music and noise and projects your music to the entire bubble play whatever you want without interference love the pod i like that i would use it for golf as well because yesterday we're playing i'm sitting with blake who's peter's older brother yeah and peter and harper are in a different car blake and i are listening to like van morrison like elton john billy joel kind of vibes and then peter and harper are listening

and be like and when you're next to each other it dominates it's a fucking nightmare yeah like van morrison doesn't stand a chance he would he would lose his mind if he heard dj van morrison versus steve aoki is a battle for the ages and let me tell you van's getting his ass wiped he's getting his ass wiped uh i love it okay yeah i'm in i'm in what is the worst part about okay what's the worst part about dreaming none of it's real you forget it blends into your life and then you're like confused about whether it happened or not yeah you don't know if you actually like her or she was just in a dream you can't remember any of your fucking dreams your best you like i know that one was crazy

but i like didn't have time to like i didn't like wake up quick enough to write it down this is a i guess i'm just pitching the recording device but it's built into your bed frame so if you have a crazy dream you can just go a train fell off the tracks and i would and alan jackson was there and then in the morning you're like yes oh and you just record it and then it you play back for you just listen to it in the morning maybe it connects like an app connects to an app and it like maybe like while you're asleep it like illustrates oh it's like ai yeah no it's not ai not it's nothing like i never have good ideas it's not like fucking ai and is it like ai it will don't listen to him it's nothing like fucking i think it's exactly like no and i'm hearing it's

nothing will eyes on me don't tune no over here it's nothing like ai don't look at him you can look up there just don't look over it no are you gonna listen to the guy that's forcing you to listen to him or are you gonna listen to voice of reason it's not it's not anybody hey it's not ai i don't need to do any convincing it's not ai my head just turns a full circle while we're all in here you it like goes this way it like rotates like a like one of those globes that are like the globe at epcot on the water yeah the ball at epcot on the water uh you know pitch me will i yeah i what's the worst part about zoom oh man uh you want to just pin one person and look at them but they won't talk you want to only look at the black you can pin someone oh never mind then i

don't have anything they can't do anything with their hands they can't point or do any like grab anything or the other people on zoom like if you want to play like a board game with them oh oh they can't like come through your computer yeah i think it's like little like sleeves you put your arms into while you're on zoom and then you can kind of emote and then if you want to play like board games on zoom they can like move the pieces about like long distance boyfriends and girlfriends like you could like play with each other's private parts bingo and so then there's robot hands that come out the other end that's actually a really fucking good idea thank you i think that would i think that could be like the next but it would be like for a sex thing it would immediately become

sex yeah there's no i mean we're not even playing checkers like in real life just because we're on zoom i would play wingspan more if there were people like that would be oh it could be yeah it could be like for like gaming yeah you know like you know the moment you drop it it's hands Yeah, it's mostly hand stuff fuck. Maybe there's maybe there's like a like a sleeve You can also put your penis and do just so we can like get I mean you can probably buy different like mods for it Yeah, yeah, you have to you like a plastic replica on the other end Oh my god accidentally putting it in like the vagina your hand in the So anyway, so there I am and it's just two penises

Oops wrong attachment. Sorry guys one moment. I I love that. It reminds me of that guy on VR who does, like, pranks on people at the pool table. Have you ever seen that? Oh. Like, the people that take VR, like, super seriously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He'll be at, like, the poker table, and he'll be like,

did you just look at my cards? And they'll be like, what, no? And he'll be like, no, dude, I totally saw you look over at my cards. He goes, I physically can't, like, move my body in the metaverse to look at your cards. He goes, no, dude, you totally looked at my cards. And he'll start, like, telling everyone that he's, like, a cheater, and they'll, like, kick him from the game. is that who is that the guy that like crashes vr weddings maybe his name's like good griefs i think

on tiktok oh he does i think he does uh nascar stuff too he used to i think he crashed um all right can we do this guy rocks yeah i don't remember what this is so you might have to pause this for a second so i can look oh this is awesome so for the audio listeners this is one of those mountains in like a lake like an inflatable mountain that kids are climbing you know and a brother is trying to help his brother with down syndrome up it and the brother is not doing him any favors are you watching just like dead weight oh go dawson come on harris that looks like a blast yeah oh my god they really do

i don't know i just thought that was that is hysterical i just i've never seen anything like that i want to go up one of those i just know i know i would get horny i know i'd find a way yeah i know i'd find a way to make it horny because i can't do anything right anymore without making it like a huge fucking jack fast yeah disgusting honestly i'm ashamed of myself let's see willies this guy rocks mine's pretty all time remember the 40 years of back pain oh oh yeah oh god oh god two guys eating watermelon like it's a steak which is already insane and then you look behind them and you go like what is going on at any part of it

also look how much better one guy's watermelon is than the other yeah well maybe he ordered like a and they're like not even acknowledging it if there's one thing about you and I is that a one-man band will get us everything. It's unbelievable. And it's called Rango

Band. Yeah, that's like your Super Bowl. The Rango Band E Company. And believe it or not, that guy's a millionaire. Is it like hard to be a one-man band? I feel like it's a thing you

master and then you kind of just play the same... Yeah, like there's no way he has a big range of songs. I think he's writing a lot. Yeah he goes on like Writer's retreats Yeah He's like

Fuck I gotta crack This new album I wish this was two guys It'd be so much easier If I could just get One more guy He doesn't even want He's a one man band

Out of necessity He can't find anyone else To do a band No one wants to Fucking join my two man band No one does bands anymore Everyone's obsessed With being a solo artist

The way social media It incentivizes us To be individualistic And only Only promote ourselves Go Join with your mates Form a band

i was at a pizza place and a british guy with that like exact voice came up to me yeah and he i'm not exaggerating i love british people yeah i'm not exaggerating this is what he said to me he was like man your mate is big up in you what he's and we were like dude we cannot deal with this like right now where was this this was in dallas like we were at a pizza place like after we were like shit canned we had our last stop of the night and he was just he kept trying to say my buddy was big upping me and i was like i don't know and i was like i don't know what that means and then another girl came over doesn't know us doesn't know the british guy and is like mediating and she's like what he's trying to say is this and i was like i don't i don't know this

guy i think what he was trying to say is he thought hudson was like negging me i don't know we were just all sitting there eating pizza and he would not shut up about how Huddy was big upping me that's fucked I know I like the picture of an English translator translating English to another person she was like what are you trying to do that has like the Chinese translator

backing it up after English I love that guy we're not the sex pistos that's my Matty Healy impression do you guys want to hear the greatest teach me something I think I've ever had yeah when you're in a car and you do like you're like in going in circles what do you call that

like you're like you're doing donuts right there they conducted i don't know who they are but someone conducted a survey across the country these are all 50 states the question is what do you call the activity of driving around in circles in a car 80 of people said doing donuts there are two other options and then there's just an other category that like none of them were notable doing cookies was two percent and at 1.43 which doesn't sound like a lot but that's like sure pretty high whipping shitties whipping shitties whipping shitties that sounds awesome the third most popular thing for doing donuts is that like a regional thing looks like it's mainly the midwest it's like mainly minnesota whipping shitties i like it sounds like a redneck

term yeah well now we whipping shitties yeah yes and then them yo choose this next who does who who's next really what i don't understand in a southern accent be like and then them coppers yeah like never yeah coppers is the only usually i was gonna say coppers than i caught myself because i i uh i'm in a lot of hot water with the cops so yeah oh my god i had to call 9-1-1 9-1-1 on the cops i had to call 9-1-1 9-1-1 you forgot the number i did i had to call 9-1-1 on the cops i had to call the cops on a guy last week why did i tell you about this i kind of felt bad i mean he deserved it but i kept being like dude just dial it back so i don't have to call the cops i was walking down main street i had gone to visit lauren at work like during the

day on wednesday maybe uh and i was walking back to here and the cop there was oh there's a guy like a block ahead of me like a cracked out guy and he was just going like nuts and like knocking over signs and stuff but like dude we live in like where we live like knocking over a few signs is like no one's batting an eye right but like he was doing it enough that i was like all right and then he was like getting in the face he got like got right up in the face of these two ladies and was like screaming at them and they one of them had like a kid like a little child in a stroller and then he ran into a barber shop and started screaming the n-word white guy yeah and so i was like you know what wait burger king crown no but i was like you know what you went too far

buddy so i called 911 and it was insane i i mean there were a bunch of people that at this point were like freaked out and i was just the hero i guess they called 911 and uh i'm on the they're like all right like the first thing like there's no way to i wish there was a like 9-1-1 9-1-2 is like no one's gonna die in the next five seconds there is i think it's 3-1-1 is like i think that's like looking for like uh where to dig that's 8-1-1 oh 3-1-1 is like non or 3-1-1 might just be like information we look this up once no that's 4-1-1 what's 3-1-1 i think is non-emergency yeah non-emergency telephone yeah so like i did that for like the carbon monoxide thing because i was like we can just okay but this was like they need to deal with it now

like i think this is like anyway well this is so i call 911 they're like what's the location of your emergency and i'm like uh santa monica main and strand and they're like uh okay uh like what what's going on i was like oh there's just like a guy going like nuts like there's no other way to say it he's going nuts he's like is he going sicko mode yeah he like put his hands on a lady he's like yelling the n-word he's like going and not like destroying property he was like banging on cars and shit uh and they were like all right describe what he's wearing i was like oh he's wearing like uh he's like a white guy he's wearing like a black and before i could even describe what he's wearing the cops were there like they must have been like around the

corner that's and i was like wait i actually see the cops now can i just talk to them and the guy was like yeah just talk to them like all right peace was he like and what are your interest rates on that loan yeah yeah chill what what like the dave ramsey bit oh oh fuck yeah that's what we call a callback that was a good callback and uh yeah that was it so i and how diversified is his portfolio very yeah um but yeah and then they came and they arrested him um all right should we do beach games that don't exist or disney shows that don't exist what do you want to start with disney shows you want me to do yeah these are disney shows that don't exist mom pewter uh the

when his wife leaves him a scientist creates a robot wife to raise his kids mom peter keeps breaking because he won't stop having sex with it that sounds like a disney show all right man i used to have a crush on that one blue robot from cartoon network you remember her no i wasn't a cartoon network robot or something the wild westens a family from the wild west is teleported to the present day and they've got to try to fit in his dad is constantly trying to start duels while little casen little little crawdad that the father's constantly trying to start duels at the supermarket and little crawdad has to tell him hey

daddy we ain't in the west no more in the future raising dough a sixth grade boy becomes the CEO of the largest pizza chain in the world and he's got to find a date to the dance and a new chairman of the board what

I'm a barber when a kid makes an ill-fated wish of the genie he wakes up and yep he's a barber he's got to figure out how to cut hair and make it to class on time you make that my first one that's awesome kid general through a clerical error a six-year-old girl becomes an army general and let's just say this platoon is getting a makeover she also has a penchant for torture but don't tell the united nations that that's awesome thank you uh secret shirt when little timmy discovers a secret shirt in his

attic he puts it on and realize it automatically makes him the most confident sought after guy at school that's awesome so he wears it every day but it's getting stinky then one day another guy steals it and he becomes the most sought out anyway it's like a they like they like compete for the shirt and like if you have the shirt you're hot i love that it's like like really good it's like like mike but with shirt yeah all right these are beach games that don't exist simple one closest to the ocean you see who can stand as close to the water's edge while not getting hit by the incoming waves and so like you know like every once in a while there be a wave so what happens is you all pick your starting point then you set a timer for five

minutes and whoever is closest to where the water comes up without being touched by it wins that's fantastic uh land verse c or you know what i'm gonna start with who has sand in their mouth half the people put a handful of sand in their mouth and half the people don't then there's one guy who goes around and without taught without them talking has to figure out who has a handful of sand in their mouth that's good thank you shark in the water it's like you ever play like the penis game yes you go out in the water and you see who is who can yell shark in the water the loudest and each louder time makes you in first place that's fantastic land versus sea the sailors

are the people that are in the ocean and then there are three coast guards that are on land and they the sailors are trying to make it back to the safe point without getting touched by one of the coast guards and the coast guards can't tag them until they're out of the ocean love that that you kind of incentivize the sailors to go deep into the ocean or no no because they have to get out god they gotta get yeah that makes sense uh sand ball who can make the biggest snowman ball out of sand love that flood no glue no glue no glue no no boo no boo flood two teams do you realize how the fuck you sound two teams place two buckets 50 feet from the ocean your goal is to fill the other team's bucket with ocean water before they fill yours so you have one

guy running and getting water for their bucket and one guy running and putting your water back in the ocean like you can't pour it out it has to be you have to run it all the way to the ocean that's like the survivor does a thing like that it sucks oh yeah yeah no like it sucks to have to do like hauling the water it's a good idea yes all right thank you guys for another great episode we're all really proud to be a part of this family family means no one leaves this house we'll see you next episode