Will & Rusty's Playdate - kinky uber driver

Episode Date: July 2, 2025

Will’s fired up about his new grill and finally redeemed himself by participating in an on-field contest at a minor league baseball game—something he once turned down as a kid. Rusty reveals what he learned about his Uber driver’s kink, and the gang opens more Playmate mail—including a package with mysterious contents. Plus, they break down a revolutionary business pitch that could change the bagel and cream cheese game forever, and draft Family Guy cutaways and more band names that don’t exist. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod SHOP OUR MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/ RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg 100 EPISODES OF WILL & RUSTY’S PLAYDATE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0toUpA2VT8 SHOP AML CLASSICS VINTAGE: https://depop.com/aml_classics/ SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: CONTROL BODY ODOR ANYWHERE WITH @SHOP.MANDO AND GET $5 OFF YOUR STARTER PACK (THAT’S OVER 40% OFF) WITH PROMO CODE PLAYDATE AT https://shopmando.com/ #MANDOPOD 00:00 Intro 06:02 Killer BBQ 17:28 A Trip Down Memory Lane 29:22 Upstate New York 26:28 We Found Willy’s Stalker 40:46 Roadmap 43:13 Mail Bag Time! 51:38 Pitch Submissions 58:39 Pitches 01:03:09 AITA 01:06:28 Teach Me Something 01:09:56 This Guy Rocks 01:15:32 Drafts #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll.

So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. New from Nespresso, blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function and Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight, our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com.

they haven't made a movie about covid what how come they haven't made a movie about covid seriously no seriously no were you recording for that yeah really that's so funny can you put that in maybe they made a movie about covid seriously what really no play date episode 119 119 we're getting into the territory now where i think we can start guessing the age as well as the number i don't know a ton of 19 year olds but i think okay what you're gonna play dumb on the podcast he knows a ton of your whole crew's 19 year olds you love that shit it's fucking bizarre you guys can't go anywhere i don't know if i know any 19 year olds in real life or just online irl or

yeah i know a bunch online not even like famous ones uh 19 would be john tavarez or no sorry who's the uh jonathan taves taves is 19 oh what i think you meant age well he's around there oh yeah what about like wait lauren almost lauren almost oh okay i know how to spell his last name what about like oh you're from chicago i was like that's a crazy one i know all right all right wait you didn't spell it right though no she's i did she second guessed herself no no no johnny toes johnny toes is like the he's like the least scary brother the least scary guy in the mob keep talking i'll stick johnny toes on you no i had such a crush on him in his prime when i was like nine yeah he was a flag age he's 18 i think cooper flag age

fuck uh con canipple is right there he's 19 really my friend connor con canuple okay con canuples are you know his middle his middle name is just the number two what you know who con canuple is con canuple is the fourth overall draft second i don't know he was on duke with cooper yeah i just i only knew him from duke got it con canoople canipple that's he said it 100 all right sorry but it looks like canoople hey i'm with you i didn't fucking i wasn't there when you got to pronounce my morning's ass now oh you've had an ass morning now i've had a goaded morning can we get your penis off the etch-a-sketch please it's making me brilliant who did that willie i actually did not do that i watched you do it

no you didn't or did you I've never been able to do one thing on the Etch-a-Sketch yeah I well now your penis is just on the Etch-a-Sketch in a different sense yeah I've made

oh fuck I've made some crude drawings on an Etch-a-Sketch but I think that that's a talent you're either born with or or you're not dude Etch-a-Sketch is one of the like one of the things most in my life that makes me feel like an actual fucking idiot it's impossible it i cannot get the like like i always go the wrong way every time well i don't think it's i think there should

be more knobs there should be more knobs no i'm saying like like right now it's like shovel coal into like a thing to keep it going um speaking of edge a sketch i walked past edges it's so it's like the office episode what the one where jim gets replaced with asian dude yes okay i'm glad you saw it too i walked so for people that have never been to our office which i think is the majority of playmates on the way in a lot of offices have windows that come to the alleyway on the way in so you can see who's at their desk whatever and i walked past edge's office and there's an asian guy sitting at his desk and i like walked by but he was it wasn't like he was sitting there doing something it was like this was his workstation like he was just at

the desk sitting there working at the desk and like and i don't know and so i walked by and then had to like take a step back yeah he's edge asian because he was gone for a couple weeks i was like did he get like a well i'm such a new behind yeah so i was like oh cool haircut and then i go in to say something and i just look right at this guy and i just went i just turned around and then i go in the edit bay and there's a new jerry there's like new guys and then in the middle of the atrium there's just another new guy yeah there's like we were gone for a week and it feels like they did like a complete staff overhaul ren is a new editor he's ren ren w-r-e-n he he is in the edit bay now bird name but he's a part of the podcast department but he is in the edit room what does

he do for the podcast he's he's an editor for glory days glory days over there pass you by ew dude yeah those noises were like crazy in the mic be nice to him i'm not crazy mike will yet i'm not i've never been i've never even been close to being crazy mike i'm not crazy mike okay i know i know that used to be me in college i'd say do a shot and say i'm crazy mike and i'd ruin everyone's night i'm not crazy so crazy they give you a new name we had a the uh young kids in my fraternity called me called my old my drunk alter ego uh cousin long shanks and they hated him like that guy stinks like not like a fun name to say it's kind of a mouthful yeah it was well i showed him uh i showed him all braveheart i've never seen it and the king of england at the time

was edward the long shanks got it and they said uh there was a certain type of drunk that i would get where there was a an uncanny resemblance in the way we ruled at least you ruled hey i meant like like with an iron the way we rule willie had a killer barbecue yesterday i did a little kbbq um and i was talking to a guy for a couple minutes and i was like this guy there's something eerily familiar about this guy and there there's a lot of there were a lot of people there so like maybe you know there was some overlap in like a previous barbecue but i was like pretty sure i'd never met him it was brett's brother yes brett dodenhoff's brother and they look similar enough totally that you it would be like if i had never met your brother

you guys have a similar enough look where it's like an uncanny valley thing we're brother maxing we're brother what i'm brother maxing uh brother maxing the best part about connor dodenhoff this is a big shout out to connor dodenhoff connor dodenhoff section he shows up i'm like we got new grill i'm like kind of getting it going he's like you want me to grill i was like yep nice grill immediately walked out yeah we got a nice where did you get it our friend kai was moving and didn't have an outdoor space did he give you a deal on it i think those things are it's like a 600 euro we got it for 175 dang that's awesome i mean it's used so yeah but yeah pretty fired up about it uh no pun intended isn't nice isn't a grill one of those things that

like kind of want to be used yeah the first the first couple months yeah yeah it's like Like, everything tastes like propane. I'm pretty excited to – it's fun. I don't know. Like, I want to develop my skills. I want to be confident on the grill at a party because I like – I think you could learn it in an afternoon. Yeah, I know.

I mean, I can do it. I just want – like, Connor's burgers were so good. Yeah. Oh, I didn't try one. Like, multiple people came up and were like, those are some of the best burgers I've ever had. And we didn't even have cheese. Wow. Was it in the way he packed the patty?

I think I know the secret. I almost don't want to say it because I want it to be like my – Bleep it. I want to steal it. believe it no i'll say it but brett showed me this too last time he came over i was doing it runs in the family i guess a little worcestershire sauce on the raw meat on the raw meat what worcestershire sauce worst salt and pepper worst she's adds like a little bit something i don't know they were just unbelievable burgers and uh bring the juicy that should be your move bring

the juicy lucy i was just thinking about no one here knows what those are they would blow their Yeah, but I do think you're you're opening yourself up. New from Nespresso, blend wellness into your coffee routine with a coffee plus range infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins like coffee plus B12 to help support immune function and coffee plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose ginseng delight. Our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning. Let your morning change you.

Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com. A lot of liability there. Because it gets so hot on the inside. Squirts all over them. Yeah, we talked about it. Squirt maxing. We talked about this earlier, but apparently all the Yelp reviews for the places that have Juicy Lucy's are like, awesome burger, no one told me that if I bite it too fast, molten lava shoots out of you.

It is so hot, yeah. It's going to ruin all your best shirts. Which is this new shirt I got last night. it's fucking killer i was pretty excited about it i um i'm really really happy that i got this shirt last night i just wanted to say that so do they have a do they have a rack with things they've thrifted or what's venice bbb oh okay sorry i got excited you said rack do they have a rack where how like how big is it um they have a rack at venice beach bar it's kind of hanging up on the wall and so they have to get like a funny looking stick to get it down and uh there's

all i think they just i guess i don't know for a fact but it seems to be that they just thrift different shirts and then put their logo on them yeah that's cool so there's every time you go in there there's like different ones so i've looked at them before and then i saw this one it was like my size i kind of like this i like it a lot it's a little funky can we talk about that guy who's sending us stuff from his vintage store oh yeah this is a guy sending stuff from vintage store but i say i think lauren kind of nailed it because we want to shout out his story posted a tiktok online where he was like picking out pieces for each of us and the one he picked out for me is like a comic that i love that my buddy will used to have hanging on his i was trying to tell lauren

this because jack lauren's hammered well oh no i wanted to shout his name out i'm sorry what i was getting the shampoo wait i was being a dick yeah wait i was a dick for the last two episodes so that means willie's keep telling your story i'm just looking for my phone i was telling that exact comic on the shirt that he picked out for me like my buddy will used to have hanging on his wall in his room it's like one of our like favorite it's a far side comic it's like two deers and one of them on his stomach has like a big target mark oh yeah look at the other guy's like unlucky birthmark or something no and he nailed my style down perfectly with that crew knack yeah and he goes i don't know if she likes green i'm like i love green i just i thought you

hated wait are you just saying that because he's gonna listen no i love green you literally said yesterday you hate green no i didn't what are you doing i don't put words in my mouth um i gotta get my life well i want to find my phone because i want to shout out his store name because if i think it's clt charlotte like that yes abbreviation yep yeah it's in charlotte i wouldn't speaking of dick max i want to do a formal apology i've been a crabby monster the last two episodes and uh i don't know what was going on i think we had to record four times in one week and i was in a bad mood where are you going lauren me let's all steal lauren's phone wild accusation uh dude i had a uh i ordered a waymo this morning there's a picture of a penis

sorry i ordered a waymo this morning hit it they finally come to my street let's go which is game changing i'll never i'll probably never have to take an uber again yeah and uh they're way more convenient nice they uh they i think the reason they have been expanding slowly is like a guy has to physically drive down every street to like mark anything that would be like unique to this street that maybe the computer wouldn't pick up on and uh i ordered the waymo this morning they wait for like six minutes so you have like plenty of time and i was like you know what i'll i got i had a couple things to do i was taking my time going down there i got down and it was blocking a driveway to the neighboring apartment and everyone in the neighborhood that was an exaggeration there were

three people but it would see it was they were all it was the brightest minds on our street trying to figure out what the fuck was going on and how they could get the waymo to move and i had to be like i am so sorry and then i got it i got in and peeled out but i was like that it made me rethink ordering way most to my street now or or not ordering it unless i'm physically standing at the drop off i mean that is that is the biggest like flaw it's like they gotta figure that shit out like you have to see a way like as a pet like pedestrian you can like get on the phone with like a person or like there should be a button that's like nope absolute like move yeah i need to yeah or or like i think literally like a button that you press and then

it's like hello waymo it's like hey you're blocking my driveway and then they can yes take over it was it was the worst case scenario for ordering every anxiety i've had about order about waymo's was heightened to yeah that is tenfold that is unfortunate i've never ordered one still it's uh so fun i believe i just don't want to put uh independent taxi drivers out of business that was my i know that you do so that's i don't i don't that was my you can go back to when way most first came out i know i actually think i was on the other you were pro and i was anti i was the most anti waymo guy out there i thought i think it's a slippery slope but i will say because it is so convenient for me i am able to overlook how terrifying it is for us as a

for the future the future wait this is my sketch idea have you heard this no it's like the boss comes out in an office and he's like hey mike do you have a second uh sure yeah what's up i just think it'd be good for maybe us to sit down and chat about the future uh yeah of course yeah i mean i hope to be here for a while yeah come on we'll just talk about it and he comes in and he's like all right here's what i'm thinking flying bars you go order them but you're in space and there's like diagrams of shit all over the place like clearly all he's been thinking about is what the future is gonna be like i love it i love it i'm sorry no no on that topic keep mine was different so please mine is also different i was just gonna say another funny sketch idea willie

had that we were cracking up we were golfing like all week and uh we were out on the golf course obviously like you pee in the woods and so it was a guy that he's like hey can you uh pull over i'm gonna use the woods really quickly and then you think he's gonna go out and pee and then he just pulls down his pants and starts pooping like right on the shallow part of the woods dick out whoa god jesus

I also think the original version of that joke was like when you're going when there's like a long line at the bar it's like god I have to go so bad you're like in a long line I have to go so bad it's like dude just duck behind that just duck behind that corner right there it's like alright

pooping in his but are you guys ever jealous of uh are you ever jealous of guys that it's like easy to pee anywhere you can just pull it out of your pants you can stay you can stay in completely clothed no absolutely there's a hole to pull your penis out of you pee anywhere oh my god i was just wrecked were you gonna say something well i just want to shout out before we before i forget um the store is called aml classics it's in charlotte alec livermore shout out if you guys live in the area or you want some cool vintage check them out very cool yeah thank you alec alec livermore alec livermore i i was gonna say i was recent i was reminded of a story like a couple days ago

when i was in new yorkers talking about it uh i went to a zach bryan show in like 2021 in new york city this place called webster hall i thought you're gonna say you relapsed and you went to no no not while i was there no no and i got so fucking hammered it like don't really remember that like end of it uh and my buddy james had this video of me and i was peeing like on the sidewalk and it was like a little still like out in the open and he goes yo will and i go what and i turn just dick out still peeing turn the other way so now i'm peeing like across the sidewalk what's up yeah i was like what what's going on he's like no it's just fine just do the first one oh god yeah yeah y'all are crazy at your barbecue i was crazy for that one crazy for that one uh

there was a girl at your barbecue that's been around the british girl sonali she's the best dude i'm we're gonna get coffee on wednesday really yeah we like hit it off she's so so sick she was like a hit like everyone there was kind of like vying for her attention and she handed her phone yeah i was sitting next to flan and she handed me her phone with like instagram open and was like put in your instagram and i took the she handed it to me so i put in my instagram and handed it back to her and she was like i meant your uh girlfriend oh yep cool totally so you went so she gave it back so can you unfollow if you want to add yourself um wait i had some stuff i wanted to we haven't we haven't done one and so i feel like i had some all-time stories but

i wrote down a lot of stuff that happened with us and you're gonna have to help me remember what it is um so i don't know if we want to like show this whole thing on the pod but a long time playmate dylan um they made does he comment a lot there's a dylan there's a dylan that's been like i literally think he's been since the first episode of playmate that guy rules dylan made this video this compilation it's a of okay i'm just do you want me to just play it it's like really cute i'm gonna be good for the podcast well i don't know maybe it's just i think it's i think it's just a bunch of wrong i think it's just a bunch of memories of playdate over i would love this videos of it's like snippets of like from every episode okay fantastic we don't

have to every episode is like yeah we can just i just think it'd be cute to play but it's viral right i watched i watched the first like you have to say whether it's viral or not it's viral for sure but see now i'm nervous now i know what if it's like stuff like we definitely don't remember saying it's like when someone uh someone put together a compilation of every time joe rogan said the n-word you're like how did he how's he been getting away with that real thing he's i mean there's no context where you should ever be saying it but he was like those are all taken out of context but it's like nine times maybe we don't have to keep the whole thing i just i think it'd be cute to have the reactions let's do it let's do it shout out dylan so this is from dylan

thank you dylan a hundred episodes of will and rusty's playdate welcome to our brand new podcast state-of-the-art brand now still smells like a new podcast too which is fun yeah funny yep what you want to call it we don't know yet should we tell people that we named the pod oh we named our pod well i guess you probably know this already by the title by the title but there will be a sign here soon but it's gonna be do you want to say it uh we'll do it together will and rusty's play date so little this is so cute this still smells like a new podcast it's pretty good pretty good dylan presents highlights from 100 episodes of playdate this is featuring will denellan as the fifth plane born on rusty featherstone as your teacher's nightmare and lauren hoagland

as the world's best google user thanks to playmates for submitting clips i hope you guys enjoy and here's to 100 more episodes this is fantastic oh my god we got a sign new episode three episode three we got a new sign look at the sign my mom called it the bread box so there was like a like you know almost like a mini garage door that like slid up and you just like put the bread in there yeah and it was like kind of my claim to fame we lived there until i was in sixth grade and i could fit in it until like the day we moved out wait i'm still struggling to visualize this you said it's on top of the counter top of the counter i honestly didn't get it at all but i just kind of it's like a box no bigger than this table and it was a it was a i already

told you it's the only time i've ever i'm not i'm not to my knowledge we are we were the only house that happened lauren's either hot has a tummy ache blacked out or is on her phone i'm barely on my phone right after i said i was gonna start being nicer just started Ripped into Lauren for some reason Play date Episode 12 13 Unlucky episode 13

That's epic Remember when you guys used to be out of focus Every other episode Sorry We have like a new look From Mia Mia's her best friend She lives in Orange County

She followed me on Instagram That's fucking sick she's so hot pretty epic now she's going to what's up girl what up man all right i'm off my phone i'm listening all my attention no it's for the record i said that years ago why don't we just it'd be so funny if like a like a surgeon got attacked i always compare lauren to lebron but imagine if like lebron got a text and was just like one sec guys yeah teach me something teach me something teach me anything um did you ever hear about the baseball game where the score was two and a half to two uh in 1893 about a batter fouled off a pitch and he broke like the last

bat that they had he walked over to a wood pile and picked up an axe that was in the wood pile and used it as a bat he swung he cut the ball in half and half of the ball went over the fence and game ends two and a half to two is that real no way it's snopes check it out please tell me this is fucking real scroll that bro that's the worst intent i love you but you constantly are throwing things out that's just oh yeah yeah yeah can i swap mine why does that studio feel like centuries Did I just swap mine then? We just made this up. False.

Play date, episode 49. 49. Is it 49? Yeah. Oh, this is another thing. Apparently, if you're not 25, most of the cars, you're not allowed to rent. So I could only drive a minivan or a Hyundai. Why do you say it like that?

Hyundai. Hyundai. Hyundai. No, no, no. That's a different company. There's like Hyundai and there's like Hyundai. No. Dude.

Bro has the worst horses. Yeah, play it. I guarantee it's Hyundai. It's Hyundai. It says it right there. Okay. I think it's broken or something. Wait, try Bing.

Hyundai. A hookah bar with a pharmacy. This was such a good episode. You get a nice hookah. Maybe the delivery method of like your Ambien. That lied to us the whole time. We used to put ibuprofen in our hookah. Is that real?

Yeah. Can you do that? Give you a headache. That's awesome. He's a little rice thing though with the hookah. What would you put in the hookah? Ibuprofen. Oh.

Yeah, when we were underage, a guy at the hookah store that would sell us hookah told us to do that. And of course we did Wait I can't tell Oh it's dead serious Wait to like Relieve the hangover No just

It's like supposed to Fuck you up or something But it just gives you Like a bad headache Is that the opposite Of what IV propane Is supposed to do Yeah but when you

Smoke a lot of it People want us To have them back on People want us To have them back on Me and Will Were twisted off The propane last night

Yeah Playdate episode 52 52 My shoes must have Been brand new My mom said it's The creepiest thing

She's ever seen I like walked Into their bedroom But I was at the foot of their bed and she said she could like feel someone's like presence in the room so they like woke up they're like hey buddy like what's up and i was like there are soldiers in my room and she was like what and i was like there's a bunch of soldiers in my room but i had like i was so sick that i'd like hallucinated

glasses will could you imagine like those are mine um should we move on this is lovely but i We can't watch all 10 minutes, I don't think, just for the listeners. That was fantastic. We will watch the rest. I think maybe we could pop that in at the end, too, or something. Yeah, yeah. I think that kind of breaks up the flow of the episode, but that is hysterical. We're excited to watch the rest of it.

Thank you, Dylan. That made me so happy. Viral. This episode is brought to you by our good friends over at Mando. Mando, I love putting this shit on my body. Come on. All right, I've got to get a stinky grungle. Hey, we've all been there.

We've all had our grungle stink. My grungle smells like shit until I put my Mando on. I think someone from Mando listened to the pod, and they could tell my grungle reeked. You can see the stink lines coming off of it. They've sent us, I've got this whole body deodorant. Deodorant. I've got the whole body deodorant cream,

and this stuff makes my grungle smell like a million bucks. It has clinical strength, sweat control, one swipe, and you're good to go with those sweat wipes. uh deodorant re-engineered to stop odor before it starts it doesn't just mask odor it prevents it 100 oh oh what's that one this is the deodorant cream that's way too much sport deodorant cream for my grungle he needs it yeah he does for my grungle yeah 100 of study participants experienced all day odor protection unlike other deodorants loaded with chemicals mando uses only premium ingredients like gentle mandelic acid to keep you fresh and dry it tackles both odor and sweat

mando's new deodorant plus sweat control solid stick gives you the double gives you double protection that you sorry willie is distracted by rubbing it on his arms no more worrying about sweat stains or those embarrassing pit rings just all day freshness and dryness i'm clean Will, you want to read the CTA? I am clean. Mando's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice, like mini body wash and deodorant wipes,

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to long lasting freshness take a look for this arm actually smells fantastic come on let's get back into the episode i was uh i was getting ready for bed the other night and i get it i get i get a text and it says like i'll read it to you it's fucking really strange oh i remembered what i was gonna do what i was gonna say wait you so you don't want me to keep that in we're no no we definitely can keep that in i think i just don't think all 10 minutes right now so this person texts me uh this gif i don't have this person's number is that ma yes yeah so i don't have this person's number they send me that gif i go sorry who's this and they go genevieve and then they said blank's friend and the blank is a girl i went to college with who's like one of my best

friends from school okay and i go ah yes what's up hopefully like they'll give me some context as to who it is they go good just seeing if you still want to do dinner i know you have history but interested in getting to know you i was like and then i texted my friend i was like who is this and they said i don't have a friend named that and so i said wait they said that blank doesn't have a friend named that i'm so lost and i said and no thank you i have a girlfriend and she goes who is she what the fuck and i go i'm so confused have we met she goes yeah last time in boston which is where that friend lives i was like what and so i go oh i'm sorry i don't remember and they go oh that's offensive because you told me i'm the most beautiful girl you've ever seen

and then sent me like a poem like a screenshot of like a poem okay and i didn't respond and i blocked them wait can you put me in a group chat with please and then my genevieve she sounds cute right she could be hot and then a girl that i dated in college facetimed me and i was like i can't talk right now because there's just so much happening they were pranking me and they got me they got me really good but i thought we me and my friend thought it was like a scam like a really elaborate scam where they somehow knew about my friend. Yeah, and what were they going to get out of you? Dinner,

I guess. Your seed? Sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm just a regular guy. I'm just a regular guy. Willie and I were at a brewery in Buffalo and we were wrapping up dinner and

I've never seen the two of us so gassy in my entire life. The whole week we were just farting like Ed James to Our whole crew was just farting, shitting. Upstate New York is something in the fucking water. We're eating buffalo wings. We're drinking Genesee.

It was getting out of hand. And I had a couple beers. And I was like, Willie, pull my finger. And I thought it was just going to be like a normal volume fart. The loudest fart I think I've ever ripped in my entire life came out. And the bartender. But it was so loud, the bartender was like 15 feet away, like whipped around. He was like, what the hell is going on here?

We were like, we got to get out of here. It was pretty awesome. We went to upstate New York. New York. New York. We went to a minor league baseball game. Oh, yeah. That was the best day of my life.

And you were the trash man or something? And I got picked to do the – the lady came over. She was like, does one of you guys want to do the on-field, the trash throwdown? Like, hell yeah, we do. Everyone was like, oh, yeah, maybe. and I literally looked at him and James and I was like, I want to do it. Can I please?

I really want it. Yeah, dude. Because she was like, you can only be one of you guys. I was like, please, guys. I really want this. Because I had turned down a chance when I was a kid

and I'd never forget myself. I never forget myself. I'd been offered to do the toothbrush scrub at the Barnstormers game growing up. You have a comically big toothbrush and you scrub every plate. Your parents were like having a hard time getting you to brush your teeth.

So they're like, we got to package it in a way that is. Dude, but I wouldn't do it. Wait, what was this game at? I want to try to visualize this. Barnstormers. Barnstormers. There's no way this is going to come up. Toothbrush.

Lancaster. Put Lancaster Barnstormers. Toothbrush. Oh, yeah, there it is. That was you. Toothbrush. I don't know. i mean this was probably a promotional thing they had for like two seasons in 2008 i don't know i

really want to see it it was a huge toothbrush and you and my dad and i ran into the lady who runs the promotions for the barnstormers at the market at central market and he went up and he was like do you think will could get to do one and she was like yeah you want to do the toothbrush scrub the night and i just went like my dad was like what like you i don't know like i was a pretty outgoing kid and for whatever i just for whatever reason i climbed the lights were too bright and i always regretted that and so i got my chance at this rochester red wings game and i went out there and boy did i take advantage of it i nailed three trash bags in the trash bin i admit i did miss the last one but you only had to make three out of five and after i missed the

last one i yelled shit and the pa guy went like oh and like covered the mic and then just walked off and didn't say anything to me so the bags were like not heavy enough too so if there was like a gust of wind it would just like knuckle and like go out of the way it was hard dude but we had the uh willie and i had the most viral uber driver of all time oh my god insane we got in the car and he immediately was just talking about like dirty stuff and then uh yeah i was like what kind of women do you like because we were just like this is interesting we gotta hear where he's coming from he's like i like him nasty he's like my wife my wife will get under the table and eat a sandwich out of your hands we were like what what does that even mean he was like

she won't even gain a pound after either we're like oh that doesn't even initially i thought it was a sexual thing and then it was like she literally eats sandwiches yeah he was all he was i get the impression sometimes that people in upstate new york are are not really used to like people being there so i think they get a little excited when you tell me every uber driver we had was like ready to pick our brains i got a voice memo of the guys we're in rochester yeah we're in buffalo for two days then rochester for two days oh that's so funny the hottest wing i've ever had oh dude i want wings do you want to hear the uber driver talking dirty i got a voice memo like five feet away i'm looking at it like god damn you know

when i'm closer i'm like Oh, the wrinkles go away. Hey, man. What's your woman look like? Skinny. Skinny? Skinny Italian. Nice.

That's the dream. I'm not too fat, I'm good. Come on. Paint me a word picture. Under the table, too. Oh, Lord. Take that sandwich right out your hand. Also, he's playing, like, frequencies.

I'm so skinny. I'm like, yeah. That sounds awesome That's the best part Is you like can't hold it together That means if we ever want out man We ain't stepping on each other's toes Come on man

There's enough for both of us Enough trim out there for both of us But he goes My favorite part he goes And then she's like I'm so skinny What Weird The music I didn't realize how weird the music was

it was weird i had a goaded moment please if i may share will's goaded moment saturday last saturday um it was last saturday okay uh it's like i'm there i know it was really fucking awesome you're gonna tell us what oh right yes uh no last saturday i was out with my friends we had been at the waterfront yeah the local tavern and we were everyone was hungry i was like oh let's go to venice beach bar and get food we walk over there i'm wearing the merch right now greatest bar in america it is uh we go to venice beach bar i'm like kitchen stuff he's like nah we just closed i was he's like why what do you want because i know all the staff there too like i know the server guy i was like oh i was just hungry you know just looking

for somebody he's like i got you don't worry like i'll get i got you and i was like oh you don't need he's like don't worry we got some stuff for the staff in the back i'll hook you up and i was like oh okay cool uh comes back out hands me like a takeout container like very slyly he's like yo keep this on the dl and i was like oh okay he's like you see pierre at the end of the bar like points at a guy i was like yeah he's a french guy don't let him see that he's been asking for food all night i was like okay okay i won't let him see it so i go around the corner to eat it kind of in private and uh i open up this takeout box that he gave me it is a piece of pepperoni pizza with a bite taken out of the side you're kidding like literally like someone ate it like from the

side took one bite out of it and ate tortilla chips what it was crazy but you ate it obviously i did eat it yeah was it good but it's like then we went and got dinner and i was like why i didn't have to do this it was fine it was like cold oh my god that's so funny it was like insane that he was like i got you like i wasn't like dying like i wasn't like starving um you going out to it reminds me i found the guy that was recording will oh yeah people were sending him in i think oh really yeah i think he had a video blow up this guy is a for my stalker yeah um here you go lauren i just slacked it to you to bren to brian slack it to bren it falls apart this is the guy for the people that don't know there was willie got recorded by a random guy and i found

his instagram and he just goes around and just films random people in venice santa monica and like westwood okay have a good night what are you filming us for you're good bro are you good hope you have a good night he's good thank you bro i my thought they were very nice we're gonna do about it no it's not i didn't statue read the statue you're talking about you're talking about phone calls you're talking about phone calls you're not you're not talking about public photography learn the law learn the fucking law go to law school go to law school go to law school you don't know the law so i my theory is he likes to film look at his stories oh my god lauren there's this one go to the water polo thing scroll down so that kid trey dotan he goes keep

scrolling he has like a fucking obsession with this kid keep scrolling keep scrolling that one right there that you have your thing on he no no the thing you had your thing on i know i'm waiting oh sorry uh that's my the do that one right there the sorry i my bad the he's obsessed with this kid on the ucla water polo team and been there watch this video he the kid has clearly gotten filmed enough by him that he like knows exactly what's coming my my theory is scary this guy learned that you're allowed to film people in public and he's just waiting for someone to knock him out and then he's gonna sue him but watch this this is so creepy it's really really crazy

you can get like the police involved i feel like in this thing like he's like stalking he's like stalking yeah it's really freaky okay this is the guy that was filming you outside yeah that's the guy that was filming me learn the law i uh i i kind of wished like maybe he could stop stop yeah is that okay oh my god i think you're allowed to think that but yeah i got this one was sent to me by a few people because i think this video blew up really really strange he said he's a ucla law graduate but i find that hard to believe yeah it's like those jokes where uh like this my lawyer i'm getting i'm getting life for a parking ticket yeah his stories are he posts a thousand stories a day each one creepier than

the last that's beautiful there's a really the weather yesterday and today the weather right now has been so so lovely so lovely uh should we get into the roadmap what the hell um roadmap this athlete is a modern day slave master who supports rogue certified peace officers in the state of california being modern day slave catchers same for this guy i understand that i think he has like schizophrenia no he got he need this guy needs to get the police involved this is like really i feel really bad this is really fucking weird oh i liked that one just like four likes one of them being you liked by rusty featherstone oh lord oh i mean poor tray oh my good lord poor tray can you imagine being just a college kid you're just minding

your own business some guy's calling you a modern day dude i just graduated can we not do this today yeah just any other day man um all right should we road map it up i would really really appreciate that all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches then we're gonna do everyone's favorite segment t oh should we do am i the asshole oh yeah i haven't am i we'll do an am i the asshole and then we'll do teach me something and then we're gonna do this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey i said of this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard there's rocks in my yard someone sent me a i posted a story of myself when i was little that

was so cute holding the holding the airsoft gun and someone because i'm standing on a boulder in my yard and someone sent it to me and goes there's rocks in your yard oh that's cute made my day that video of that little kid the little boy singing singing uh oh my god so hard oh my gosh you guys there's a little this this play me um i forgot his name i'm sorry he's probably listening he's a father of two adorable little children and he tagged us in a video he put on his story of his son singing this guy rocks and then at the end in the at the end he goes rocks in my own rocks in my own so cute uh and then we are gonna do family guy cutaways that don't exist followed by bands that don't exist and then we'll wrap up with rusty's song of the day

what does family guy cutaways mean in family guy they'll be like uh uh that stinks that stinks is almost as much as when blank happened and then they'd like cut away to like a another thing oh i see pull up a family guy cutaway so you can just for the people at home that haven't seen it just yeah that'll do that'll do fine swanson you know your assignment you get me the guy who's been rubbing his butt all over dunkin donuts can i help you oh i see not illegal not illegal show me the law not illegal i'm telling you the founding fathers would be very just that makes sense i asked what a family guy cutaway is um all right lauren all right ass backwards pod

New idea Bass Ackwards pod Alright, Lauren She hit us with some pitches Oh, wait, wait, wait Should we open the mail first? Oh, yeah, mail bag What are you guys doing for 4th of July?

I think you're having a barbecue, right? My sister's gonna be here No Oh, because I told Flynn that six months ago? Yeah No, I'm not No, please I'm not having a barbecue

Then I don't know Ava has a friend in Hermosa That we might go to his house I think I'm going to go to this thing in Malibu, like, during the day, maybe, but then. On Friday? On, yeah. Jane's coming. My buddy Max invited me.

I made a new friend. Nice. Yay. Okay. Mailbag, mailbag. I will do the one that I already halfway opened because I got very excited, but. Oh, they put a Playdate, like, stamp on it? She just drew.

Nice. Just drew a little color. Or he. She. Yeah. If any of these are pitches, we can do those. This is from Kiva Markey, but it's spelled like cow-um-he. You know those Irish names, and it's like, that's just not how it's spelled.

Cowamahee, but it's Kiva. I know, I saw that. Kiva Markey. I was very confused by that. It's a beautiful name. Mine has GIFs inside. All right, we'll start with the letter. Oh, this contains a pitch.

Oh, yay. Don't be a dumbass. Don't make no assumptions. Lizards can't get hard. Call that a reptile dysfunction. Nice. Wait, what is this? Who is this?

this is really can i read it again this is from yeah this is from the name is blurred out don't be a dumbass don't make no assumptions lizard can't get hard call that a reptile dysfunction that is really good that one this is planet pod warren real and lusty all right let's see and then there's wow look we got a bunch of rubber bands wow nice nice rb i feel like this is like when the guy that guy gets a stamp maxed wait why do you think the rubber what are the rubber bands is there anything else in there no no this is like when uh when you like it's like a ransom note you order something from the dark web and you're like i don't know what it is when does that ever happen no you haven't seen those guys like order stuff online they like unbox i'm like

i don't know what this that's it rubber band okay it's just this and a and a bunch of rubber bands that's all this like packaging that you would have had to like pay for yeah usps ground advantage we don't know who this is from the name it's like completely like it's like printed poorly so we can't see it i think do you think it's like a warning i don't know i'm worried though a reptile dysfunction is the warning it's like a cipher what is this shit wait does it feel like there should be more in there yeah it's on mail there's like eight rubber bands and a poem this person also writes in all caps this is like hysterical actually i'm really worried how many how many maybe there's like yeah it's like it's a clue yeah seven rubber bands seven okay um that's a clue

Meaning of rubber bands Well, we got seven rubber bands in a poem That sends in a reptile dysfunction Thank you to whoever said that I'm a little nervous about it Full transparency, I'm a touch nervous about it No, that one's safe Okay

What do you have, Will? This one's a pitch, so maybe you shouldn't open it Yeah, I'll read it I'll read it Perfect Okay, well I'll do mine now in case it's not a pitch Wait, no, but then there's also these little stamp things.

What were those photos, Will? It was a photo of her. Oh, nice. Cute. And then this cow is for Lauren. She's a real cow named Valentina and she lives very happily in Pomfret, Vermont. Lauren, I, we see how hard you work

to make the pod happen. It is not unnoticed. Thank you. Aw, that's really cute. I thought it was saying, this one's for Lauren. She's a real cow. I'll just leave it here.

I'll give it to you at the end. and then we each got one of these cute nice i will be this i'll be this one i'll be uh red and lauren can be blue blue evelyn so cute i'm obsessed with that wait what's her name evelyn uh no kiva kiva marky kiva all right she keeps saying her full name well i'll i'll read her pitch okay and mail like a ton of shit mail like something bigger we haven't gotten any like big boxes yeah If it is big, we will open it. Did anyone else clock the big box in our offices as a playmate? No.

I was like, ooh. And it's just one of those coolers. Oh, that's nice. Oh, it's our cute guys. This made me so happy when this person made this. This is from Sydney, Sydney Paul. Thank you, Sydney. From all the way from Austin, Texas.

Austin. She made us these gorjean. Wait, Jack, where's yours? Oh, I thought I got lost in translation. Maybe it was lost in... I put... So cute. Oh my gosh, I'm actually obsessed.

Like, I need to... I'm framing this. Jack, Rusty's in a Boston hat, and Will is in a Pleasure to Have in Class hat, which you should go buy right now on our merch website. And then she wrote a cute little note, and it says,

Dear Lauren and Joey and Chandler. Sorry, Lauren, I wrote your name. Chandler? sorry lauren i wrote your name before it occurred to me that i could try to do something fun with the intro all good i'm a huge fan of the playdate pod and just found y'all in january ish but i haven't missed an episode since my name is sydney i'm a senior accounting major at ut austin and i love to paint in my free time welcome i made these little pics of y'all while listening to episode 105 congrats on 100 apps by the way i wish i was creative enough to insert a pitch you are very

creative extremely um but to still keep things exciting i've decided to add a trivia question for will and a song rec for rusty loving the playlist by the way thank you for will what pop singer is related to republican house of representatives in missouri member darian chapel got it and for rusty the song is last goodbye by post animal love it i'll listen to it soon joe curious man i thought joe curious man was joe maybe he's got two bands could be oh wait There's one more thing Ran out of room but just wanted to show y'all some love And say keep up the good work

I've recommended y'all to all my friends And look forward to every episode drop Okay that's all have an amazing week And enjoy this stationery It's the only card I could find And the paintings And follow her little art account The underscore canvas cowgirl

And it's a card with Snoopy and What's the little bird's name? Woodstock I thought Woodstock's the guy What guy? the kid that has flies around him no it's Linus

nice there's oh you wait Linus has the blanket pig pen pig pen has flies around him yeah so adorable

that is awesome Sydney thank you so much these are really really cute this is yeah this is great this is fun is this interesting for the people to listen to

when we open the mail probably alright I don't know let us know alright should we hear a pitch yeah let us know actually let us know

I can't tell if like it's fun to do but I don't know wait but I was gonna say i also remember i was at a bar in new york city uh ace bar hottest ever heard of it how's ever fucking heard of it and i got on the touch tunes and i put ten dollars in and so i just had like 10 songs skewed second song into my run they just switched to like the regular oh they like basically ride it yeah but it's they like overrode did it it was robbers

but the 1975 was playing but i don't understand why that's just like throwing out my money no you didn't get it back no because it's like i did it through a third party like i did it through touch yeah it's a bummer i we bobby james and i were at the iron tug yeah and i haven't been one of those myself oh well uh and i got thirty dollars worth of tokens and just commanded the ox but we were the only three guys in the bar so it was just every time bobby tried to cue a song i just just skipped him really yeah he was that's kind of fucked up i know but it was funny to james and i yeah yeah yeah the voting majority yeah it's our pitches yeah i guess you're right let us know if that's like fine i feel like that's fine i just like i figure it's like that's

one of the cool things we can do is we can just ask like i feel like anytime we like ask for feedback let us know oh what do you got laura i'm gonna read it but you're so cute okay we should frame that too if you send a photo of yourself we will frame it we're making a big montage where We align the colors so that it spells out something. It's like our face. It's like our face. Our face made of your faces. Yes.

Okay. Let's. Your face. Do you think the new Edge is going to still get us bagels on Mondays? No. Dude. I know for a fact. They've really been slacking on that.

It's P-M-O. I want an Eggle Max. Okay. Eggle Max. Eggle Max. Oh, we have another hello to Alvin, Simon, and Theodore. Theodore. alvin simon the simon garfunkel what is the worst part about ordering food

not knowing what you want agreeing with your buddies on what you on what you want uh taking long to get there okay she says if you said not delivered by a cool animal then i'm loving where your head is at introducing post apes an app where you can choose from a library of trained happy animals ranging from komodo dragons lemurs foxes gorillas and more choose from our classics line to select a dog cat or rodent and hurry because our user favorite the giant african snail is almost booked out please allow seven to eight weeks for delivery the best part about post apes you can opt to keep the animal for a few hours and just have a major chill sesh ever wanted to watch tv with a baboon build legos with a raccoon post apes is your new

best friend please note post apes is not responsible for the food order after leaving the facility and is subject to excessive munching by her animals um i like this thank you will lauren and rusty your pockets is my happy place as a fellow whimsical irish-american brunette prone to sunburns i feel super represented by you lol i don't think i get sunburned i get sunburned bad unrelated i pointed it out yesterday i walked in she goes somebody got some sun i do i look sunburned no not at all i didn't wear sunscreen and golf for five days last week it was out in the sun all day yesterday i know this is bad for my long-term health but i don't think it looks like you just you might just be no but i think like you can develop skin cancer like a wrinkle

earlier maybe the that's the picture the visual of uh like walking through new york city and an ape with one of those like uber eats bags on his back is like what bumbling through the city would be very funny i yeah i would like to get a bird that sounds fast as hell yeah you guys i door dashed last night and i was so bummed because i'm it says that it was gonna get dropped off between 835 and 840 and then i see that she's on a bike so it doesn't arrive till nine i'm like can i turn that setting off i was saying a couple episodes ago and people were like that's insensitive you should if you can't if your mode of transportation takes triple the amount of time that a car takes you should not be in uber eats i don't get it at all i over eats wood

for your bonfire yeah no i didn't even use it and you put trader joe's bags and it was flaking all over us yeah i did i think i inhaled i left along before the bus i lauren irished i know which is fine i don't care but chester after you did the funniest irish of all time what was it it got to the point where it was just six of us sitting around the fire and he just got up and left chester did yeah like it's just like the way he did was like oh he's going to the bathroom yeah that's funny but it was like wait did he just like in a six person setting yeah to not be like hey i'm gonna head out is hysterical one-on-one yeah you and your buddy are hanging out irish you got like a date i love it uh i think someone in the office i don't know if i should even keep

this in but someone in the office irish the other day they like told me and emily that they were gonna go like do something in the garage and then we just never saw them again where the irish work yeah irish work yeah that's just that's just like playing hooky yeah that's kind of sick i'm excited we have today and tomorrow that we got to do a bunch of shit but then we have the rest of the week off for the fourth of july yeah and uh i think i'm gonna really i'm excited to just be here kind of chill no plans i know it's fantastic all right should we pitch each other no i wait let me read one more pitch what's up niblet piddles and wankleton here's a pitch i want to be piddles i would like to be gringle is that one of them can be okay this is from siblings will and

julia shout out siblings shout out siblings shout out all the siblings out there you guys how about eight inches and thick god oh what's the worst part about sleeping as a guy oh oh god waking up as a girl there's no there's no like fun uh pajama options i can't wear like a nightgown uh ding dong stuck in the sheets yeah penis gets stuck on the sheets okay sort of gets totally stuck in between the fitted sheet and the other sheet and twisted like a corncob. Penis stuck under the mattress. Penis, penis

inside the pillowcase and you can't find it. Yeah, wait. Losing your penis in the pillowcase. Alright, they say... Pillowcase between your butt like a some sort of like rope mechanism. Like a pulley system. Yes.

Wake up penis and balls are tangled like Apple headphones. That would probably be my guess. Wake up with dick in your own mouth. Ugh. Okay. Balls twisted, have to go to hospital. Sort of.

Waking up on your stomach to find your balls crushed between your thighs in the mattress. Kind of close. That's why we created Comfy Balls Mattress. The first mattress with a dedicated ball indent engineered for maximum comfort. Within our mattress is our patented nut nesting technology. it includes a soft supportive dip that cradles your boys in a perfectly sculpted group with an active cooling gel system to keep them frosty all night long no more rusty rearranges and no more looking for your left not in the middle of the night sleep better with your nuts nestled

and don't let the bed and don't let the bed grunions bite i have a i love that to death i have just you know we're here to poke holes because you know as potential investors right we have to we have to be honest with ourselves be honest with ourselves i'm worried people are gonna try and bang it if there if there's a hole in here if there's a hole in your mattress guys are gonna try and bang it's not a hole it's just a little divot yeah trust me i don't think you can bang it i've seen will do i've seen will do a lot more with a lot less i have a feeling this is more will than julia huh yeah yeah will pitch it and julia was like i'll take your word for it i guess i like it i mean on the what is it called the ball sack truce ball sack truce

mm-hmm no it was the nut nest not nesting technology i'm in i'm in as well i would love to get my nuts in that although i don't really i think i have a soft enough mattress i don't think this really happens to me oh there's kevin king too he got smothered by a blanket um all right what is the worst part about having a cold or any type of sickness um you can't do all the crazy stuff that you normally do you don't know who to blame yeah you feel like shit and you want to start pointing some fingers but you don't know how you got it or who gave it to you yes you're introducing the cold cause you it it analyzes your cold and like 23andme it matches it with all your friends so that you can find out who

got you sexy that you can start blaming them dude this would be like huge for like science yeah you use this for covid they could have found out who's it yeah really yeah i think i tell you i think i was the first guy in florida to get that 17 times i think it's a fucking medical i think i was i think i got the swine flu one time from pigs yeah no from the remember when the swine flu existed yeah but i don't remember what it is what are you more scared of swine flu or bird flu bird flu yeah they tend to do that what if they what if there was a will that was a yawn after my joke what if there was a will flu your your cold was so bad and it got it spread so fast that it was named after you i would be honored frankly can i call you frankie

uh pitch me willie all right what's the worst part about uh uh putting cream cheese on a bagel squeezing through the hole what does your cream cheese come in like a toothpaste container no getting the last drop

out of the what squeezing it through the hole I thought you meant the bagel hole yeah the bagel hole why do you need to squeeze it through there

Lauren thinks you need to like shove it shove it in through the other side and then it can only go in that way like when it falls through the middle

okay that's different than squeezing it through the hole why would you be squeezing it all right no we're not talking about squeezing holes i was gonna say like sometimes i want to hear about your weekend plans sometimes you know if you're making a bagel and you want to like put a layer like you don't want you it could be hard to like put a lot of cream cheese on it without it becoming kind of a nuisance like it maybe it squeezes through the hole or it falls off the edges or it gets on your fingers or something so the idea here is to come up with a way that you can maximize the amount of cream cheese without

it being an outward sort of nuisance the baffle it's a bagel with the uh sort of the technology that they invented for the waffle applied to a bagel so it's got sort of a grid on the inside of the bagel it's when you spread the cream cheese it goes down into little divots and so it's totally clean it's not as much of a mess and it has more cream cheese per capita that is and then every every bite has the exact perfect amount of cream everybody's go to that's actually really I think if we tightened up Your pitch a little bit Agreed

Well I think there's Isn't there a phenomenon Where it's like Hollowed out bagels Scooped bagels Or something It's like a thing in LA Maybe

Yeah Cause it's like less bread You can get your sandwich At Publix scooped Interesting Cause people don't want The filling More carbs

Yeah So anyway That's my baffle idea I love it Love it Should we hear an Am I the asshole You don't have a pitch

I just pitched I already pitched It was a four story building with no cars oh i don't know where i was during that you we talked to you about it was the cold thing the cold cause you were part of the pitch i was yeah you did remember you did that little thing at the end you're did you really you we had a conversation with you about it i said what's the worst part about getting a cold you don't know where it's yes yes yes i was so lost i think you're drunk right still for me shampoo effect lauren blacked out and had to irish for my party no i

in black no i'm just kidding uh i'm gonna grill max this weekend i just thought about it i'm gonna get i'm just gonna grill every day can you please have a fourth of july barbecue i can't maybe one of the other days though i'd have something i don't have any fourth of july plans then i know i don't know where to go see fireworks where do they do them anywhere like the marina you could set some off in my yard if you want sure all right you're not home i'm not gonna be there yeah just set them off whenever you want okay this am i the asshole is from okay they didn't even say their name from mike mike mike dicka mike dicka mike mike all right this is from mike dicka all right he's a playmate he says part about running the ball up the middle

he says hi guys sending in from south australia wow the gold coast don't let your best player do it in the super bowl am i the asshole my friend came over last weekend from perth which is a three-hour flight away and stayed with me the whole time when she was over she helped me kind of unpack some moving boxes as i had just moved houses and put some things on depop as she was going through my stuff she found a patagonia jacket i bought last year it was 330 australian dollars and put it on without asking and said she was going to borrow it for the weekend she's gone home now and i looked for the jacket in my depot pile and it was gone she took it without her telling me am i the also for texting her asking if she took it and asking her to pay me for it

because if she did as it was xy i don't know what expensive oh okay i feel bad because she helped me unpack and i feel like she took it as she assumed it was a thanks for helping tax thoughts i feel like an asshole but that may be more because i'm a people pleaser also huge fan of the pod i've gone back and released in every up now sending them from australia i this is an interesting predicament i think that your friend knows how nice you are and knew you weren't gonna say anything and they took advantage they take your kindness for weakness that's that's wait no but sometimes no but okay let's take a step back here sometimes you do take your buddies like jack like i've had your thing before you've had my thing and you just kind of are like

once they ask for it i'll give it back totally so i think i don't think anyone's the asshole yet i think you just be like can i get that back no i think the problem is that she lives in perth well that's just a mail it okay yeah i don't think you'd be the asshole for asking i think it's like when you have my things i think it's because i've like left them somewhere you never be at my house and be like oh but i've done that like in the i have like a friend i i think of like i was at their house and like needed a sweater to borrow yes because we were going it was cold and then i just wore it home and then i would i wore it for a couple weeks until she was like yo can i get that back and then i just gave it to her and there was no hard feelings at all there

was like he's trying to steal it it was but did you ask that person to wear it that night i did yeah interesting i would say you yeah if you want it back you definitely definitely ask them you're not the asshole to yeah you just i think you're go to you got to speak up but i get that you know you don't want to offend anyone asking or i still think taking it without asking is really weird but it sounds like she did it in the presence yeah she said she put it's not really put it on without asking and said she's gonna borrow it for the weekend i think i think just stand up for yourself a little bit more just say you want it back yeah that is very interesting not the asshole girl just or boy just oh it's mike it's mike mike you're good you're good like dick

you're fine you're so fine it's really fine sure do you guys want to do teach me something first or this guy rocks first you know i could really go either way lauren tms teach me something um okay i learned this about uh formerly prince charles now king charles and we were talking about the royalty and how bizarre it is a couple weeks ago uh this is a story about him that is a testament to like how privileged these royal people are it was his former like valet or like butler or whatever his his the guy that did everything for him was talking about how insane these people are like they literally do not they've never learned how to do anything for themselves i guess specifically him yeah there was one time he was uh at his they were like

or sorry i'll back up they were like they fold his boxers for him they like put his socks on for him like he literally does nothing you're like okay that's like crazy but i could understand maybe for royals that's like normal this guy told the story one time that king charles then prince charles was at his desk and he went to open a letter or maybe take the letter out it was already open for him and he accidentally dropped it into his empty waste bin at his desk and instead of reaching in and picking it out he called his butler or whatever to come to the room and take it out of the waste bin for him that's insane isn't that insane empty empty there was like it wasn't like there was like garbage in there was like a paper waste bin i always like when i drop

something in the trash because it's like an excuse to get a little bit in there right yeah yeah it's like what's it what's even in there if you reach the trash for any other reason it's like what the fuck is he doing yeah it's like you have like a valuable in there it's like a reason to get your hand in there i'm not hey i'm right there with you yeah no that's uh that is insane i'm out i'm out on the aristocracy fuck it finally no no down with the crown are you down with the crown you down with the crown buddy willie's down with the crown i'm down with the crown all right i gotta teach you something you know rabbits teeth never stop growing that makes sense wait why does that make sense they're like wait so if a rabbit's old its teeth are like out of its mouth yeah i mean i

i would assume that it correlates a little bit with their lifestyle maybe they eat so much shit that it like tight it like over time grinds down and they just keep coming out yeah they have an open root structure unlike human or dog teeth it's constant growth oh they wear it down too yeah Oh, that reminds me, dude. A bald eagle. Oh, wait, I know that one, actually. Oh, my God, look at that fucked one. Yeah, that's great.

Oh, that makes me sad. It's probably painful. What if humans did that? And, like, the oldest guy would be, like, huge teeth. Oh, like, I feel bad for this guy. I do, too. Oh, that reminds me. I saw the thing that bald eagles, at some point,

their beak and talons are like worn down and they either have to make a decision to like die because they can't hunt anymore or like they will bash their beak into the into a rock until it falls off and then they grow a new one and they use that beak to rip all their uh talons out and grow new ones that awful sounds very painful yeah i cannot um believe how big they are they're fucking ginormous that's insane it's absolutely ridiculous um all right should we do this guy rocks holy shit yeah let's do it this guy rocks this guy rocks this guy rocks today hey hey you said this guy rocks and he rocks so hard he rocks in your house and he rocks in your yard there's rocks in my arm lauren someone said they didn't like that that we sang it twice because it takes away from

the oh okay we'll look at what about when the baby did it that was crazy we were just talking about that when you're in the bathroom oh i was fucking pissing up a storm all right lauren pause this immediately and i mean it immediately i don't remember what this is so pause it so i can remember okay it's my favorite guy on the internet he does like role play stuff it's like this kid and let's just give it a watch it's my 18th birthday finally i can figure out what hair color i get okay here we go three two one wait a minute pink oh no i've got to cover this up okay i'll just leave it at this for now it's what my parents have so it's pretty believable yeah this is my hair color why oh sorry nancy everybody come to the lunchroom to do the

mandatory hair color checker oh no i'm going to the checker now no no no yeah my hair is pink wait stop stop be careful with the queen i think i'm gonna like this what'd you guys think i do not understand even on a micro level or macro level or any level what i just watched really what is he trying to like be an actor uh i don't know i don't know so he has pink hair but he well pink hair means bad but or he thought pink hair made bad but pink care i actually mean he's queen's son and then once he finds that out he thinks he's gonna like this whenever i see stuff like this where it's like account managed by parents maybe just like don't subject your kids to that at like well i doubt it actually is i think they just have to

put that maybe i don't know you know what's funny i always agreed with that take where it's like kids shouldn't be on social media like their parents shouldn't put them out there and then the Rizzler came along I know and I'm like I love it but there's that's one in a million I watched a video of his dad filming him today unless his dad's one of the best actors of all time it seems like his dad has decently good intentions or like actually like truly loves it like the man the Rizzler I saw him doing more bike tricks today and his dad was running with him and like cheering him on I was like this is the four leaf clover dude he's the Rizzler he's gonna do the four leaf clover he also did the one-hander oh my god so he did the one-hander and then he switched and

dad goes one-hander two-hander oh he's like i'm not here buddy i got you that's awesome all right willie who rocks man lauren play that play that play that grunt grunt loudly all right what what are we looking at this is butt rock night okay what does it say on the screen really The power of music is definition. That's me at a Mac DeMarco concert. That's me after one beer at the MJ Lenderman concert. Did you go to the weekend? No, Ty did.

I should have gone. just didn't have time after dinner but ty had a suite for the weekend show and he said it was great i just don't like the or i don't listen i've never listened to the weekend i used to listen to the weekend it's a it's a touch horny for me i like his old some of his old stuff but like the trilogy songs were like the horniest thing in the world trilogy yeah the morning is a very good song okay can i actually show you guys something please of course learn this girl rocks we got a this girl rocks do you think that guy is blacked out drunk or or has something or both probably i don't know i just love i just i like his vibe look at this kevin king too

that's a deep pocket thank you it's brand new was that shirt expensive apparently it was 50 which i didn't i just said put on my tab when i grabbed it and then i got the bill and i was like oh fuck all right that was worth it i was like i got home from babysitting on saturday night and i was hysterically laughing at um this video so just watch wait did you forget to put it in yeah she runs into the room with it oh she threw the lighter in there oh my god that is hysterical this is some straight looney tunes stuff right here yeah yeah i was that's so funny that's awesome all right should we start with family guy plots that are flaming like cutaways that don't exist or bands that don't exist uh

fuck it let's do family guy these are family guy cutaways that don't exist uh dude what he's like i was more frustrated than when manchester by the sea came out no that's not it uh i was more frustrated than michelangelo when he dropped one of his brushes and it's like him in the sistine chapel like all the way up at the ceiling and he drops the brush he's like toss it up toss it up toss it up and the guy keeps missing i like that um he goes he goes this is more pressure than when i had a free throw to win the state championship and it's him at the free throw line the announcers are like explaining the gravity of the situation

they're like the whole game relies on this shot and then right as he's about to shoot it he shits his pants and throws the ball into the stands and it hits one of the concession guys and the concession guy falls all the way down the stairs and dies and then uh and then peter goes to his funeral and uh is crying on his grave after everyone leaves and they give peter the ashes to go scatter in the ocean so he goes to this beautiful cliff in maine and as he goes to throw the ashes into the ocean he shits himself again and throws it into the woods and he can't find the ashes that's yeah that's great uh uh he goes that's why you never want to be the first guy to find something like when they found the grand canyon and it shows a big group of guys finding

the grand canyon the first one's like oh what the ah and then they all fall off until they've piled up to where the guy can see that they're falling off and then he stops i love it he goes that's crazy that's as crazy as me at a black friday sale and it's everyone going crazy and then someone grabs the same xbox as him and he turns into like a hulk beast and starts smashing the guy around until he dies that's awesome thank you uh i felt like the guy who fell asleep in the trojan horse he just wakes up and looks out and he's like oh no and he just goes back to bed i like that um he he goes i haven't been this scared since the first time i got high and it's all of them in a basement with a joint and the second peter takes a puff he shoots through the roof

and goes out into space uh that's kind of related uh that reminds me of when the astronauts found out the moon is boring and it's just like right after they did like the broadcast and then they're they're like all right so what now and then they get bored and leave i love it do more no okay perfect oh yeah i guess i was four did you have four as well i only did why would i have four i only did three oh i did four okay perfect all right should we do bands that don't exist um yeah i would do that yeah i'm done you got it these are band names that don't exist friend of a foe and they are like alt indie rock and it's all about betrayal in friendship i like that three left turns i like that it just gets back restarted

uh third cheapest wine i like that uh slam dairy the part-time junkies yep lower third a lot of three a lot of uh things in two things what my head i had three as well really third cheapest wine oh that's right the libido effect i like that breakfast bait kissing boots faucet recall potting plants stink montage you already did stink or you did spit montage yes it's a sequel i like it i like potting plants yeah what about potting plants all right lauren you come up with one right now or we can't end the episode um second biggest grunion oh yeah a little derivative but mode could be a fun name cutting grunions speaking of band names go buy the souls for sale shirt

yes it's a good one all right we're gonna finish with rusty's song of the day i'm gonna do sick oh wait before i say it we just hit 3 000 so we're about about a third of the way there go follow it on rusty's songs of the day on spotify again if you when we hit 10 000 followers uh two of you are getting 101 dollars that is that is correct yep today we have sick love by the red hot chili peppers i haven't you know i only knew the hits this is still one of the hits but yeah you know i'm starting to get past just the three biggest ones they got some they got some good stuff in there so sick love by the red hot chili peppers go check it out go follow rusty's songs of the day on spotify for a chance to win 101 dollars i also realize you can't send a

screenshot a lot of people have informed me you cannot send a screenshot so there's no proof i guess but i will take your word for it if you sorry once i pick you have to be able to send a screenshot and if you can't prove it photoshop it no everyone go follow rusty songs of the day spotify said they are gonna verify it which i'm very excited oh that's sick yeah that is uh all right what should they comment laura oh this comes out okay oh this comes out wednesday the fourth of july is on friday comment what you did for fourth of july wait it hasn't happened yet what what by the time this comes out one no no this comes out once comment um what you're going to do for comment new names for wednesday hump day is getting a little old for me stunk bay

also people keep commenting that we've lost the plot because we haven't done personalities in like years oh yeah whose personality are you guys gonna steal on fourth of july this is fun i'm gonna steal paul revere's personality because uh and i'm gonna do my the burgers are coming the burgers are coming burgers that'll be fun i'm gonna steal kevin king all right love you guys see you on monday Thanks for watching!