Will & Rusty's Playdate - lauren left WHAT in her desk???

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

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if i like a horrible story you hung out with her a few times i'm not saying you're like dating i'm just saying dating this is flan you're talking about wait i don't know flan worked for beats when did she work wait can i actually get are we rolling yeah uh yeah play date episode 142 jackie robinson nice okay that actually that's the only right answer al horford maybe yeah i when i was in element no middle school nay high school nay nay freshman year of high school and like i went to horse school horse when i was in horse school nay when i was in high school nay horse school oh my god guys if you if you subscribe to this podcast you're gonna get a whole lot of

content like that oh my god we're constantly you know reinventing the horse wheel and uh sorry when you were in no i'm now i'm trying to think like horse puns on high school to do like when i was in horse school i was in hoof room oh dude i had the coolest hoof room yeah uh when i was in at lunch i always sat at the cool kids stable when i was in lunch when i was in lunch i always saddled the cool kids stable stable yeah yeah or like um in science class we studied horseshoe crabs they just call them shoe crabs at that school

this episode is brought to you by cash app cash app bury me in money cash app Bless you. I'm so sorry. I don't know what. Someone said that your farts keep, like, jump-scaring them. Yeah, I could... Well, I got a... Yeah, I had Indian last night.

Rookie mistake. Rookie mistake. It was... I had the best... That was maybe the best food I've ever had. Yeah, what's the place you like? Kobe's is on Main Street here. Goated.

They had... You went. Everything was so good. Did you go there? Short rib, yeah, I went there. Short rib. wait until you try the long rib all right we need to rein it in oh there's another good one oh yes come on we are back wait what else do horses do like they have like um

pep rally could be like um horse step rally horse in gym class they made us do the mile trot we had to trot the mile yeah yeah yeah we do the yeah huh what do i think guidance counselor yeah there's something there's something with guidance counselor i think you're going at it from the back end you come up with a horse term two flip sides of the same quesadilla wait you said the uh restaurant was on main street this is good we're having fun i feel like something's in the water this morning it's very horsey but you can lead you can lead you can lead the horse to water but you can't put

something in it pe physical education what else do horses do i can't think of anything else the horses do there's something with main gallop chemistry that's nothing kentucky derby physics all right all right all right come on i got a question all right come on i was oh i was actually telling a story about high school right from here high school we had some like i don't know what this shit was it was like history national history day or like some like there's some like statewide competition and one of the categories you could like build a website about a character from history okay and my group we all got had groups i don't know it was like

it was like we had to do it for our class but then it was technically submitted to some like statewide thing okay and we picked whatever there was like a theme it was like legacy something and we picked jackie robinson in my group and no one did it and then the night before we were like oh fuck and everyone was like dumb it was like me and this kid who like sold weed and uh i just did the whole website myself like the last night before it was due and submitted it and then completely forgot i just like wanted to get the assignment done and then we get selected to go to like the state finals in columbia so like me and these like two like knuckleheads are like have to go present in front of like a panel in they're like mad at you they're like do that dude we

wanted like a b minus we didn't want we didn't sign up to go to fucking columbus literally so we go to we go to columbia and uh oh columbia that makes more sense why was it in ohio and so we go and we like present it and like they hadn't like they didn't know anything i was like just trying to like cut them off every time they started talking so it seemed like they and uh and then we get and then we won the whole state thing we go to like the awards ceremony my dad drove us and we're sitting there and we're like all right let's get out of here and then they're like number But first place, Jackie Robinson. I was like, oh!

Somebody at Grounds was like, that's my dealer. Yeah, literally. No, one of the judges, all the judges are clearly stoned. He like sold them weed before. South Carolina was, at the state level, it became very clear that it was not hard to compete. The education is just so bad in South Carolina. Isn't it like 50th?

Or no, like Mississippi. Is Mississippi the fattest and the dumbest? state uh statistically yeah you guys are moving up moving up nothing wrong with silver since i left things have gotten pretty good or you left such a there's like i left yeah you don't even know that there's like the will denellan auditorium it's like that episode of um actually i can't talk about that nevermind uh nothing it was gonna be stupid he's gonna say rick and morty he can't talk about working that was gonna be never mind was morty there was morty time travel probably oh i have

a question yeah what's a reese's oreo collab oh my god he's been for context he was yapping about this earlier i had wait don't pull this up yet don't pull this up yet because i want you guys to try and when i was on i can't tell which way it goes that's why i don't want him to look it up because in my head i was like i have no idea what this is gonna look like when i open it i could only see the wrapper so i is it oreo with peanut butter filling just sorry can you just let me it's so awesome that i need it requires a story before it story story time i took a little weed sue me got in bed 7-eleven app was looking or the postmates app was looking real fun went in there did it was in there for about 45 minutes got 45 minutes in the post oh my god

like i looked up and was like holy like i could have i could have been done with my snacks by now i ordered a haagen-dazs chocolate and vanilla thing on the stick oh my god if you haven't had one it is the best like vanilla ice cream with like a chocolate coating and the chocolate coating is like crunchy yes just fucking right to the point that i didn't like that face i like that um it blew my mind and then i was like can't get any better than that open up my reese's oreo collab guess what it looks like my guess is that it's an oreo with peanut butter filling incorrect andrew my guess is like they just got both and smashed into a ball kind of kind of actually whoa it is a reese's cup so good at guessing it's a reese's cup

on the bottom and then on the top of the reese's cup is white chocolate and then inside of that there is an oreo and peanut butter and when you are a little bit high and you're eating that it was i was like laughing out loud like like walking around my room like how is this how is no one like staring out the window over your street looking at these these fucking slugs i don't even know they have no idea it is pull this pull this up and no i won't know it is if you have not had one yet oh my god it is the greatest oh my god it looks like there's a handful of different ones the one i got is the first one okay so they do kind of have one that's just on the right

i got that one but it wasn't even that there was like a full oreo inside it was blowing my fucking mind dude my fat ass thought this was an oreo reese's collab my fat ass wait what like you know those memes yeah my fat ass thought it was a chicken finger My fat ass thought that was a cheesecake. My fat ass thought that was the Oreo Reese's collab. If you guys are at home and you're like done working for the day and you have like a minute to pop down. You have to be done working.

Well, like you're not, it's not, you need to be like stress-free. Go to 7-Eleven, get wherever you get your snacks, bring one of these home and eat it and comment if I'm, because I only had it the once. So maybe it isn't that good, but it blew my fucking mind. It was the greatest thing I've ever had. I feel like it, no offense, it isn't totally what you said. What? Reese's on the bottom, white chocolate on the top?

And then I thought there was an Oreo inside of that. Those are Oreo chunks. When I was eating it, I could have sworn it was a full mix. Yeah, I guess it'd be hard to tell, like, you don't have, like, a 3D. Yeah, I wasn't doing too much inspecting. X-ray goggles, you're dissecting it. But to me, it felt like there was a full Oreo in there. It was, I mean, it's the greatest collab in the history of collabs.

Wait, click on the one above that's, like, the cups. that's kind of what and that might look more like what you're talking about yeah just mash it together i don't even feel like i'd have to be high to enjoy this like no i don't think you would be so good right now yourself all the time you druggie yeah you're such a stoner i am high right oh there that's like our new thing like how lauren was always like drunk yeah dude having a buddy who like actually has a weed problem is really funny because it's like it's not like it's not like

really ruining his life so it's like it's not even worth bringing it up especially like it was like in college it'd be like yeah I guess it's fine

it would be like do you really have to smoke that bong before you go to the movies yeah really like that serious wait the movies

is like the one time I wouldn't ever judge someone do you have to really do you really have to smoke that do you really have to hit that bong

before you eat all these snacks it's kind of what it's for I had a roommate that would be just like in the morning before class yeah one of my best

yeah one of my best buddies at Rollins I uh I literally do not think I saw him not high until like junior year of college and he was an awesome guy it was like it wasn't even worth bringing up but it was like you would you would literally be the smartest guy in the world if you weren't and the best part is like they're like I'm not addicted I'm not addicted I'm not addicted and then like they'd be at a weed for like one hour and they would be like their mind yeah literally tearing up the house like looking for did you guys was were jeebs the the preferred method at your college

yes well so gross when you're weird yeah actually all years i remember what that watching those guys it was like the same poland springs bottle for like a whole semester and just being like we have a million of oh no i would so my whole thing was like every time i would get like come home drunk from the bar i liked the like activity of making them right it's like a fun craft fun and because you could make them like out of anything and you could like find like funny ones like funny ways to do it you know what i mean like funny you just want it you were it's kind of like the that thing where it's who can pull out the most random object yeah literally yeah you're like i'm gonna get them so good when i come back yeah snapple bottle exactly and so i would i would

make them every night or not every night i wouldn't even partake on the weekends no i would yeah i mean but i would i would always like wake up like oh that's kind of a fun one i built like it was like literally like i would not have to be conscious and i could yeah it's like being like a like a deranged like inventor in the movies where he like wakes up in the morning and he's like oh my god i did it yes yep my roommates one time shattered theirs in the middle of a party like they someone dropped it and uh no like a real bong got it and uh like the side the side of it shattered and they're like oh no oh no no and it's my roommate goes oh i have flex seal and so they literally like they literally like what is it spray paint or something i don't know there's

it comes it comes in a handful of different forms but i've never known anyone that owns it that's great flex seal lethal yes exactly so it's like they sprayed flex seal on it so every time they lit it up it kind of melted the flex a little bit so they're literally like inhaling flex seal every time on like fumes and they use that bong for like two years you remember last night tripping on that flex seal like usual yeah we were off some flex seal last night was a fucking billy mays commercial we were off that flex i go back and forth on whether i miss college because some these things are like funny to recollect and then i'm like god that's so like sad i think why it was fun then and it

wouldn't be fun now is like i had there was never a morning in college where i had any anxiety about yeah what happened the night before and now if i did like even 10 of the things i did in college i would wake up and like never drink again yeah like now i told willie the other day i was like so anxious after i was drinking i was like dude i fucking like i got drunk last night i was like telling all these stories and like it was just like horrible like i feel so anxious he was like all things considered if what happens when you get too drunk is you like tell too many stories that's like not the end of he was like you shouldn't be that anxious about it i'm sorry to the cops are on their way

busted you're going away for a long time wise guy oh no Andrew's been part of a sting operation this whole time until you admit to smoking in Boston dude the funniest place I smoked weed in college was like in the winter they would have like all sorts of big like

excavation equipment for the snow like big snow plows and stuff and we figured out they just leave them unlocked so on the way back from the bar we would go a couple times me and my buddy went in one of the big like we were like 20 feet off the air

on like a thing with like like heavy machinery and like hot box and it was kind of funny oh my god there's no there's no cool way to tell a story about you hot boxing something but it was pretty good no i think that's that is the only cool yeah it was like a huge snow plow uh when i worked at a golf course at the end of the day every day we'd have to go pick up all the flags of the holes and we found out that the same key to unlock the golf cart was the same one to unlock the bev cart and um so we would unlock the bev cart every night and make like rum and cokes to drink as we like went and picked up the flag that's sick and i only worked there for a summer but when i came back the next summer i was like oh is uh like my favorite employee like still here like

um and he was like no like apparently like he was like breaking into the bev cart every night and like stealing liquor and i was like damn that's crazy i had no idea you're like that is disturbing yeah good i'm glad he's gone i'm glad that filth is out of here we had there was a golf course we were at bc and one time we just we should have done this more often we just walked over there with like drinks a pitching wedge and some balls and just went to a par three and just were there all night in the middle of the night yeah no one caught us i don't think it is at night i think it's like like a munich horse's public land yeah i mean oh it's like you think it was legal maybe not the drinking aspect of it like who's gonna stop the best part

was that it was completely pitch black and you know the best part about you know hitting a t-shot in par three with pitch black every shot could be a hole-in-one you literally have no idea so we we had like five balls we were just like boom boom boom boom and then we'd go up and we'd always go check the hole first and then work our way back there is a there was a night golf tournament at our club when i was a kid and so you play with like glow in the dark balls and the flag is like covered in glow sticks that's cool and they play from the women's tees because it's just like hard enough whatever yeah and the first hole is like a drivable par four from the women's tees it's like even more doable and this guy got a hole-in-one at night golf and i was on a par four

on a par four there are guys that have one ones on that hole from the men's tees too because you can just like run it down the middle wow but apparently everyone went like ballistic because when a glow-in-the-dark ball goes in a cup at night it looks like a like like beacon of light coming out of the hole he was like it was the coolest moment yeah that is that is so sick the golf cart or the golf course in uh in winter park that was cheapest was like a nine hole course and the problem with with this particular course is it was built into like a pretty busy area and so like streets like went through some of the holes and it was like kind of a nightmare and my friend jake jones sculled a ball and it just nailed someone's toyota camry that was like at a stop

light and the guy like looked at him and was like and then jake was like i'm so sorry and then he was like all right and just drove away because i think like what what is the legality of that i think it's like it's not the goal i mean unless it was like intentional it's like i think it is the goal yeah but you drove like i feel like i've seen signs at courses that yeah but he's honest the guy was driving on a street right yeah but it's like you're driving through the gut like i wish look pull up like winter park nine aerial view i mean i feel like i can picture well there's this like this this street should not be there but i feel like i've seen signs in clubhouses that are like you assume the like there are there are roads yeah see there's just a road that like

goes through the middle of it yeah that is kind of bad that's crazy yeah yeah the the golf course at A&M was like on campus and so every time I would drive by I would like honk as soon as someone hate you it's awesome have you seen the guy that will like pull up at a tee and just wait for the guy to be in his back and then just like lay on it and these like grown men will like try to fight him yeah I would I would I would I would be so mad that like I did that when I was like a very little kid on the first hole and i had a meltdown and my dad was like dude it is like just hit it again it is completely fine yeah my grandpa's been talking a lot of a lot of shit we've been playing oh no right now we have 16 words with friends games going right now whoa and uh he is

just unbelievably good at words with friends and he texted me this morning at like five in the morning and said he said you were leading in two out of ten games that's like two pars and eight bogeys set your sights a little higher i go just you wait i just did my morning reading and learned how to spell words you haven't even heard of and he goes bring it on mr rollins ever heard of thermodynamics he was a he was a mechanical engineer he goes it's using the manufacturing of beer and then i said well then i'll learn all about it you had some monster words last round he just sent a check mark but he's beating me by like it'll be like 400 to 160 do you think it's that he's using ai no i honestly this is this is coming back to bite me because when we were

when we were younger i would use uh words with cheats you know that use that against my grandpa all the i couldn't beat i was like seven howard i was like seven or eight i know i'm just and i would just wipe the floor with him and then now i think this is karma coming back to bite me because i'm trying to or i am playing the i'm playing the uh the traditional way we found out willie was cheating in words with friends when him and i were playing what he'd play on his laptop and there was like this what was the oh no i i mean i i genuinely didn't know i thought i assumed it was just a feature of the game it showed like you could click it would tell you like how good your word what it would like give you a rating on the word you're gonna play out of 10 yes you could

like know that there are better words out there but i didn't i wasn't cheating i was just playing on my laptop if playing on your laptop is cheating then i'm a fucking convicted felon because i love playing games on my laptop playing games on your playing games on your laptops illegal i'm fucking al capone in high school dude i used to play so much backyard skateboarding what is that oh my god backyard skateboarding i've beaten that game it's the greatest game of all time is it like the same people that made backyard baseball yes it's same a lot of the same characters pete wheeler is like a speed demon oh my god yeah andy mcdonald's in it yep this does look familiar oh my god i could beat that

game in my sleep i yep there's like all these different oh there's like this castle one dude where you could like joust do you think you're the best in the world i i think i probably logged more hours than probably all but a handful of people because i would i used to play it at my i played it when i was like my childhood home on like my desktop with my buddy owen and then when i was in high school it was like we were trying to find like shit to do on our computers and i so i ordered it online and i got it and i was like oh my god this is like put it in the disc in your computer i think or like i think i got it on like a hard drive or i might have like downloaded like i don't know i think i somehow i don't like a flash drive because i

remember giving it to my buddy thomas too and we would just grind that i got so good intended yeah literally i could grind oh i know all the challenges i knew all that bro keisha phillips oh my god it's bringing this is taking me right back all right so if if if there was a situation where you had to you could pick anything in the world and you have to go up against like a thousand ten thousand random people in the world and you have to be best at it would that be it it's probably we golf yeah but what if there's like another guy yeah but i haven't played this in so long and i and i also halo reach oh that was a great i was gonna say like talk about like games you revisited like during covid yeah i went back and played halo

reach and it was just me and like 10 other guys that played every night together that's awesome and i was like still so i like never lost it but the odds that someone's the odds that someone else is really good are higher you're right that because the game's more obscure yeah yeah i would go escape three but i'm gonna be honest with you like even though i was really good at that game like there's a lot of button mashing like when you're trying to get like big combos right it's not like i'm like fakie like benihana like i was just kind of like it's like uh ssx tricky yeah play that snowboarding game on the xbox i originally had it on ps2 oh my god this was this was probably the best time in my life there was a video store like a localized version of

blockbuster yeah bethel main okay and i would go with my friend garrett alexander and we would rent lego star wars 3 every weekend that's awesome play it on the ps2 and it never like saved the game so i probably only probably only played this like one scene like 500 times and then you just go back and like jar jar binks going through the no it was the one where the um you it was obi-wan and oh oh yes yes qui-gon yes the opening scene of and the droids that like roll around and have that thing on the the trade block yeah outside naboo yeah and then there were a couple where we landed on what's that rain planet with all the clones uh the camino we would land on camino know and that was i think lego star wars 2 yeah that one was sick those are such good games that

was the best that was that bunk i saw a lot of history in that bunkhouse first time first thing i one of literally one of my first memories ever was uh laying in that bunkhouse with my dad there was a bubble tv and it was ronald reagan's funeral can you pull up when that is maybe that's a fake memory wait what did you say we watched ronald reagan's funeral in like in lego old bunkhouse no no okay yeah so i was like three i don't know if you remember that that would be literally like the first the time you have your first memory three three is the first year you become like center i don't really but i definitely think you could remember anything from when i was three i'm not doubting i would have been three three and one month but i was that literally

that probably is that probably is my first memory ronald reagan's funeral ronald reagan's funeral could you pull up ronald reagan approval rate oh he was insanely popular oh okay he won almost i think he won all every state but dc look at that look at the election map 68 no but look at the ronald reagan election electoral map or yeah it's insane oh my god look look at the 1984 84 he won every state but minnesota which is i think where walter mondale was from standing strong yeah he Oh, no, he won one county in, where is that, D.C.? Yeah, Minnesota, yeah. Yeah, so he just lost.

Ronald Reagan was like, not in the sense of policy, but he was like the first Trump person where he was like a celebrity. He was like a movie star. A celebrity, a movie star, never ran. Yeah, that is true. Okay, do you know who the worst president of all time was? I feel like you're going to say this guy but I think universally it's accepted as James Buchanan

oh really because he was the reason basically the civil war was about to happen he just like didn't do shit I'm sure they'll figure it out and he's from Lancaster I want to come up with an answer because you guys are both politics guys

and I want to contribute I would say the worst president ever does like do does like does like doing nothing count as being bad or does it have to be like he's a bad guy uh show me james k polk oh because that's either he like he either he either was somewhere in the middle or he was bad good polk yeah pull up yeah i don't know what he did honestly that's that's a guy i don't know shit about yeah james buchanan you're right dub um bell oh wait time out time out time out zachary taylor do you want to hear a fun story about

zachary taylor andrew is that a president his grandson is alive right now and he was president in like the 1700s you know that insane oh not the 1700s or maybe it's stephen tyler wait is that that's the guy from aerosmith who am i thinking who am i with both zachary taylor grandson Zachary Taylor is the 12th president Yeah and his grandson is still alive He was barely present He died in office I don't care if he was president in 1784

And your grandson is alive No that's insane He like got poisoned on the 4th of July Oh yeah didn't he Wait wait wait don't tell me He ate too many Or like He ate too many

Wasn't it like melon or something He ate way too much melon No one really knows, but he got super sick and died on the 4th of July. The first year of his presidency. I think he was president for like five months. And then guess who came in? They brought in the big guns. The best president name of all time.

Followed him up. Wait, what number? 13. Would have been... It's like, he's unremarkable. He just has a funny ass name. Grover Cleveland? Millard Fillmore.

That's so funny. Alright, yeah, so look at this. oh his grandson died no no no you were the chosen one this was three minutes ago though oh no he died three minutes ago wait that's what it says no the article is like a three minute read oh my god we're breaking the news we're on top breaking news Harrison Ruffin Tyler wait it says oh so it wasn't it was john tyler's or what was it john tyler what was his name i could so his his whoever the 10th yeah john tyler was 63 when he when harrison's dad was born and then i think harrison's dad had was 75 he had a kid at 75 his grandfather his grandfather was president before the civil

war that is insanity it's crazy it's like a greenland shark greenland shark i love greenland sharks um i kind of want to look at the list of the worst presidents again because i am curious james buchanan was it seems like right though zachary taylor was also up there oh yeah look at that look at the wikipedia one i think they did i think there's like a widely accepted like historic yeah i mean it should be like based on like approval rates but um okay oh my god john tyler and his and his like brother whoever is wait that's the dad that was just in order right i was like damn um i mean lincoln is definitely not the word lincoln's like the best right so so okay i was right i was right warren g harding was the one

i was gonna bring up oh there you go um what did his white ass do we've only had 36 presidents that was in it looks like that was in 1982 that that was completed that was the 1982 murray i was about to say survey wait so but how many individual presidents are we at 46 right no 45 because grover cleveland served two non-consecutive terms and trump did too not get those are the only two guys so then 40 45 yeah has ever been a non non-democrat or republican has an independent ever been president not independent but early on there were like democratic republicans or like wigs wigs they didn't really there was a wag president her husband played on the sixers

my buddy diego is uh he's like i get he's like a professional i don't mean to it's it's legit i think but he's like a professional spike ball player nice and he had a tournament in san diego and so we were with his girlfriend sophie and i was like you're not down there with the wags she's like no actually but apparently she's like the wags all had brunch or something because they're all there yeah he's like he's like plays pro spike ball but i think it's like a pretty new thing yeah yeah but opportunity my roommate played in like the college championship my freshman year really is it like d1 or is it club uh it was i think just club like they weren't on scholarship or anything but they played on like espn3 in like a high

school the trace yeah we like watched it espn3 the trace does that even exist anymore i think it's just like espn plus now uh andrew did you ever hear willie and i's wags story at the titans game no you guys were you at this i don't know i was gonna say i don't know what the story is we when you hung out with mike brable or no that was a different type maybe that wasn't maybe that's why you weren't there all i know is like me liam and i thought it was you i was not we was it when you met like moneybag yo or something don't spoil the story oh fuck sorry i i wasn't there i wasn't you didn't spoil the good part thank god you went with the second most popular person so willie and i or liam and i i thought willie was there uh go to the titans game the woman had

like the titans had very graciously been like we'll let you guys sit in this suite if you want we're like that'd be awesome we get there she's like we're going to suite number one that sounds pretty cool we get up there they're like security guards in front we're like oh my god like suite number one what if like the president's in there or something and at the titans game and then we get in there and there are like 30 people like the biggest dudes you've ever seen they all look cool as hell and we're all dressed like we like are normally dressed right now yeah like okay we'll go like sit in the corner all the seats had been filled with whoever is important had brought like 10 girls and they all put their like designer bags like giant bags in the seats

so that we couldn't sit there and then like okay we'll go grab a beer and then his like bodyguards were like guarding the fridge so you had to like slip by these guys be like oh excuse me like grab one we're like looking i'm like i don't recognize any of these guys like who is this and then i look in the corner and it's yo gadi sitting there the rapper and then so not moneybag yo no moneybag yo was also there i didn't know who that was until after that i don't know who that what song does he i don't know i think it was just like it the reason that has become part of the story is like it is such a rapper name yeah like walking in there was money bag yo and yo got it yeah money but can you google money back yo oh it's who other songs he is

you never heard of quickie busting oh he does busting oh he does taboo miami oh he does f my baby mama oh he does super wet hard for the next gangsters relate shot off gumbo shot of gumbo yeah get up at a new orleans bar get over here we're doing shots of gumbo it was wild all right uh uh um wait is that oh my god my stomach hurts so bad how many gumbo shots one's just all shrimp uh what'd you say wait was that the whole story yeah uh yeah and then we just there's nothing worse than something like so that's the whole that's it did anything cool happen well i was curious do you guys like nashville yes i actually really like it like east nashville is really cool the last the first german town or whatever that's different but

that's also cool but like the first like five times we went because we always go to our bar which is right like off broadway i feel like like the broadway thing i'm like over i don't know i still have i mean i still have fun i still have some in me every time i go down i'm like this is gonna suck and then i'll wake up and be like that was awesome yeah but like when you go to like there's like cool parts of nashville like where people actually like where young people actually like live and like there's a kind of a cool like artsy vibe and we went to one of the coolest bars i've ever been to last time yes yeah which one it was like a daytime spot i thought it was in germantown i'm pretty sure we're in there drinking like lemon drops and guinness

my uh my dream is to go to nashville one day you've never been i've never been well i went to the airport and i'm very excited dude we should do a live pod from the bar we should i i want to check out the bar but and i really want to go to broadway like really bad i i i will i will go with you and we can burn it down i was trying to get my boys to like do a trip out there yeah and they were like well what will we do and i was like oh we'll go to broadway yeah what are we not and that's it i was well no i was like i can't think of anything else to do that's what you do you go and like party yeah you just go to broadway but what do you do during like the daytime go to broadway yeah it's still popping date drink that's like that's like your buddy being like

let's go to vegas and like yeah what are we gonna do yeah yeah it's like yeah is there anything i Like, outside of Broadway? No, there is. You can have fun. There's, like, cool parts of... Yeah, there's cool... There's stuff. Okay.

There's, like... I talked to Kate about it. She was like, there's nothing. Oh, really? I mean, I think people that are from there have become, like, a little cynical about it. I've had a lot of fun going to, like, Predators games are really fun. Or Titans games. Yeah, you would like the Predators.

Come on. Because I'm, like, a child Predator? Jesus. Whoa. Whoa, I didn't know. Whoa. I was asking. Whoa.

but uh yeah dude you gotta be my buddy the predator there's great like music venues like you could i'm sure you can find like a cool concert to go that's why i really want to go if you went the rhyming is sick oh there there's a cool find something there here's actually the real answer that i kind of forgot about we had a good trip one time with like adults like i went with my buddy seamus's parents and we went to like a jazz club at night and there are like good places for dinner and then we went to a titans game and then you go out and like you can you can do it right the last time i went to broadway was before my buddy jake's wedding it was me and my sisters and we sat down at this bar and there's live music everywhere so it's like yeah yeah

there's a band playing there and we're like these people are pretty good yeah it's all people that are like move there to make it they're like the bar is very high for and uh and they're like you know playing these like mellow songs and then like you can see the guy getting like a little bit drunk and we're like oh this is kind of he's like about to go nuts i turned to order a drink we'll put a picture of it right here i turned to order a drink and then when i turned back the lead singer had gotten up on the bar and i have a picture of him like going into him he went into almost like a full split and was like killing it and then last memory i have and then i woke up whoa yeah it's kind of epic it was yeah he kind of looks like he kind of looks like morgan

wallen wait until you see this picture it's funny morgan walling should we road map it up yeah i gotta be honest i have to go number two classic this episode is brought to you by cash app i've been cash having like a mother fricker lately i cash apped i cashed up someone yesterday actually how'd that go i loved it i love i do i love using the app i've said this before there's so many different things you can do it's like every time i go to a new page i'm like oh i could i can freaking buy bitcoin on this yeah i might come on i might and uh i don't know if you're up to speed but cash app is more than just a way to you know safely send money and receive money with the cash app card uh you can get a ton

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or you're just looking to let loose like some of us out there after a long day at church. come on twisted tea is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time a great time twisted tea keep that mf twisted come on uh no i gotta talk about my well well no i'm doing the accent well i'm going to fort worth texas this weekend and let me tell you that ain't no uh better way to beat that texas sun come on then a little twisted tea come on texas sun i'm gonna be off that twisted tea i'm gonna be on my willy i'm off that tweet tweet tweet man i'm on my willy shit drinking twisted tea i am playing golf on friday before my buddy's wedding wait what we have work on friday i will be in kentucky playing golf before my buddy's wedding man i'm fucking i

just here's the thing with me i just don't give an f i don't give an f about anything except for twisted tea god and family come on and i'm gonna be stocking my bag full of those twisted teas damn right don't tell the cart guy cart guy i like half and half but you can try peach you can try original you can try raspberry any of their faves guys whatever it is just go grab a go grab it twisted tea to head down to your liquor store grocery store anywhere that sells anything probably has twisted tea if they don't they're not worth their salt grab a refreshing twisted tea today come on let's get back in the episode how'd that go for you good you know i'll be you know i'll be on it you know how i'd be i got a question yeah um fuck oh i did a secret thing while i was on

the toilet yep i read the audrey hobert's pre-sale just went live at 10 o'clock so i had to go in and get tickets is that why you pooped no no i actually didn't realize it until i sat down i was like oh fuck it was while i was pooping it didn't add any more time to my pooping but i uh it's totally sold out every venue i tried to buy la i tried to buy boston whoa it's like already closed and because she's doing these tiny venues and i'm like well good for her you should be happy that that that one of your favorite artists is seeing success that's the best way to look at it's actually a really good perspective yeah but i i would not be having the same reaction if it was someone that i like but that is what you should know you're right i just uh like i think there's

like a non-zero chance she's my number one artist this year i've been yeah spamming that out is there ever a part of you that audrey maxing when you guys are having like listening to you know music throughout the year you're like i should ease off of this person because i don't want them on my i like because i i think mj will be a number one guy but though lately it's just been i've been hober maxing it's a great for running too so i've listened to all my runs i i don't know but i i think i don't know why i like it so much because the lyrics are like like like about like acne and boys and like it's not really relatable for you for me yeah i sometimes will be listening to like a clero song like if you ever listen to blouse by clero

i don't know if i know that one it's basically it's like the gist of it is and i'm gonna butcher but the gist of it is like uh which she's trying to have a serious conversation and he's like looking down her blouse and like that's all he he sees her more as like a physical thing when she's trying to whatever got it and i'll be listening to it and i'm like why is this resonating with me i've never never once been in this predicament yeah i'm like in my like you're in your family my room like i'm taking thirst traps and me we're in my i'm not taking thirst traps are you have you been taking thirst traps no digging you sneak any hog picks lately no abs no i wish i can't all right you put your phone on the ground squat over it like a mirror

yes on live thank you see that video of kodak he was live in the shower and he dropped his phone it is literally the worst angle can we watch that yeah pull it up for a while is that allowed yeah we'll blur it i'll blur it it's so funny all right you get you got the gist from those photos he drops it and there's a panic that sets in where he's trying to grab it with his soapy hands been there one of my biggest fears is that i will check my instrument yeah watch this young chop reacts to kodak dropping his phone in the shower what what is young chop up to lately i feel like i haven't seen a lot of chop the young chop stuff um young chop all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys young chop i'm calling you out rap battle me you me you young

chop if you're listening i podcast you rap i pot i know rap battle i made it i did a thing in high school one time it was like a rap battle where someone had to like wrap a present faster than i could spit bars who won i forget it's like that red bull thing where they race like a plane versus an f1 car that's awesome we used to have boxing matches in the locker room every friday in tennis and it got too violent uh to the fact that we were like we got to do something locker boxing is usually sports where like your art you already have like gloves and a helmet yeah we we brought gloves not helmets but we had gloves respect it was pretty crazy too because like we would all sit on top of the lockers around like it was like a coliseum but like it was a locker room so like

most people would be like just coming out of the shower to watch the fight so like the videos would like leaked to the school and we'd all be like sitting on top of lockers and towels like half shampooed hair you know and stuff like that but it got too violent so we were like we got to move on to like something else yeah we started doing rap battles and this kid was like oh i want to do a rap battle and we're like okay man yeah like next friday like rap battle and he shows up with like a notebook of like lines and we're like oh that's not really yeah it's kind of missed the point yeah should we rap battle no okay you an ender can oh man you producing you think you the shit well i'm gonna tell you you ain't it okay okay um here's what i'm gonna do first i'm gonna stab

you with a knife have you seen that video no there's like these two british guys rapping he's like well here's something about me i like to get up and close and up and personal with a razor sharp object i'm gonna cut you in the jug he's just like taught like threatening the guy you have to see this video i'm from brooklyn that's all right yeah i could say bullets are gonna fly i'm from brooklyn that's all right okay he's like he like almost rhymes and then he does it oh yeah snipes snipes is the guy you do not want to find yeah you're not like nine minutes i know we just skipped to the vote i'm sorry little kids but i'm a killer clown today i could say bullets are gonna spray I'm from Brooklyn that's alright but let me just

say I like to get close and personal with a razor-sharp object but let me just say this I'm not gonna stab you in the heart what I'm gonna do is grab a pen stab you in the neck punch your lungs then slam a blunt object into your stomach fuck blunt object into your stomach and cause internal bleeding now before you die let me just say this the reason i call myself snipes is because i take my time to rhyme i'm not complicated but i'm like a sniper i aim straight for the heart or the head i'm straight and direct i might hide two k's that way you'll know when i hit you all right you get it oh my god the guy to his right i need to i desperately need a guy that looks like that

in my crew that is a girl it looks like that oh you like you like what you see i like what i see i like you dude the guy actually the guy in the dc shirt and the sunglasses behind him guy that looks like that damn that guy looks chill as hell actually whoa dude i like that they're all no one's laughing this looks like a renaissance painting yeah right here i think this is at the renaissance this is par for the chorus at this part this is par for the course i'm i'm i'm breaking cards on my horse whoa i love this video this is how every girl looked in like 2008 yeah oh god what a simpler time yeah what a great time to be alive but this this is the first on the podcast yeah we call it play date i would eat your ass but i'm sorry i

already ate sitting on the couch with my boy Rusty Featherstone oh you homeless man you just gotta find another home Andrew Nelson sitting in producer chair looking at me with those two eyes that producers stare I said what you doing turn the camera on we making movies he said I don't care i can't see you but i see through these eyes these lies these fabrications that we tell if you sin the bible says that you will go to hell if you could smell the way that i smell when i smell you you would know all the things that my mind wants to do to your body that's pretty good that song whoa we started talking about lies that was what i that was what you got real eyes realize real lies oh eyes when i when i was in when i was in high school i

was genuinely a real fear of mine this maybe gives some insight into the into the the crew i was running with i was genuinely worried that at some point at like a cool high school party i was gonna have to freestyle and i was not gonna be able to i just my i used to freestyle all the time we used to do it all the time and when i met when i was halfway through college i took my year off and i got uh dumped and got mad at all my friends and so i came back to or i guess i didn't get dumped but i broke up with my girlfriend and it caused a big strife my friend group so i came back to school when i had no friends i was coming back to bc junior year no i was like i need a new i had one friend my buddy will god bless him and he was like all right this other crew is going on

this ski trip you want to come and i was like yeah like i need to meet people and that's and that ended up being like scott and his friend group and that's like how i met all my best friends but it was on the ski trip i didn't know anyone i was like the only guy no one knew and it my buddy threw me a bone because i was like i needed to make friends and the first night just ended up like drunk high freestyling to everyone and i woke up and i was like oh no and i come down to like breakfast and they were like dude that freestyle last night was so funny like you it was like you were and i was in and they became my best friends in the world that's how i met all my friends was freestyle you're freestyling and scott leans to the other guy

gotta make him permanent we gotta have this guy around gotta get him in the crew oh man dude i i always think about like the difference in what i do when i'm high now versus what i did when i was high in high school yes not now it's like i'm alone in my room and that is like the perfect night it used to be like get high in someone's garage and then you just had to listen to like five guys freestyle for like 45 minutes was like all right can i go now trap type beat the amount of times i've searched that on youtube our first juice world type beat our first uh our first boston three-party song was we googled lo-fi chill ass type beat and it was like the first one that came up on youtube news it actually was a great beat all right let's get to the let's get

into the roadmap yeah sorry no worries that was an awesome story i didn't really i didn't really mean to like talk i just feel like i'm on this podcast like always talking we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitches followed by our pitches then we're gonna do am i the asshole and then willie and i are gonna do another what are the odds segment and then we'll do this guy rocks followed by everyone's favorite segment teach me something and then willie are going to do weird owl songs that don't exist followed by signs you'd find in your mom's house and then we'll wrap up with mailbag one at a time and then we'll do rusty song of the day and then we'll be out of here your mailbag your mail oh yeah it's mailing oh yeah i'm

sorry sorry i didn't mean to cut off that bit in the middle of that that was fucking gold that was a gold clip do it again it's not hitting the same it's not hitting the same it's andrew fucked it it's fine just go what is your bake are you baked can we do one pitch no am i the asshole yeah we sure we got it yeah yeah yeah let's do it okay one pitch no am i the ass what if we do one am i the asshole no pitch no pitches yeah okay i'm down with that all right but wait do we still pitch first i actually oh sorry oh no you're good i got one that actually would have helped you out today oh my god what is sucks all the butt out of your ass so you don't have to go to the bathroom

sucks all the butt out of your ass so you can't sit down on the toilet seat you just sucks all the poop out of your ass so you don't have to worry about going to the bathroom all right what is the worst part what is the worst part about pooping in the morning hurts stings kind of it takes it takes like 20 minutes because you're just sitting there on your phone and there's so much poop from the night before and it's like it's like i just can't what i don't make it sound like you ate poop the night before for some reason there's so much there's so much poop from the night before and it's like if you're in a rush then it's like oh my god am i gonna have to like like compromise my shower do i have to like take something out

of my whatever yep takes too much of your morning this is a hollow capsule that you swallow before you go to bed and while you're sleeping it makes its way through your digestive tract and it crams all of the poop in your system into this tiny little capsule so in the morning you just sit down you just poop out that capsule all the poop's gone you can it's like 30 seconds no longer like a 20 30 minute affair here's the thing when you hop right in the shower i don't know if i like this piece because i like that poop i know but you only take it if you're like i'm gonna i know i'm gonna be in the rush in the morning okay trust me nobody nobody likes letting that hot hot steamer out more gross there's there's like probably like a lady that listens to this podcast if you're a lady and

you listen to this podcast comment below lady here lady mo comment um i put my hands over my ears during that poop segment because i'm a beautiful lady that segment i bleeped it for them all right here's how about this tiered hot plate it's a plate like not a hot plate but like a plate that you put your food on yep and it's got like one part of it's like hot and then it cools down and then there's all the way to cool all the way around it so it's like if you have food that like you want to keep a little warm you kind of put it in the hotter section but if it's like oh you need to cool it down you can put it in the cooler section so you can make sure the food that you're eating is the exact right temperature and your thoughts isn't that just

any hot plate i don't i guess i'm having a hard time picture give me an example meal that where you would want some of it hot and some of it cold so it's like you got mashed potatoes chicken and asparagus or something all things i want hot correct but it could be too hot the chicken's like burning your mouth you cool it down a little if if you eat some of the mashed potatoes and then you're going to move on to the next thing but you're like i want to keep these a little warm you put them in like the warm part so it keeps them on warm right how high were you when you none how high i wasn't hot i was dead sober when i thought of this i haven't done weed in 48 hours nice i'm i'm really having a meltdown

all right i like it i like it maybe for like chipotle bowls like sometimes i want to microwave my chipotle but i don't want to get them guac all hot bang that's why we have a podcast guys as you all know by now we've teamed up with bet mgm this season we'll be using bet mgm lines to make all our picks and we'll have special offers for our listeners each week if you haven't signed up for betmgm yet use bonus code playdate and you will get up to a $1,500 first bet offer on your first wager with betmgm willie tell them how it works download the betmgm app and sign up using bonus code playdate then deposit at least ten dollars and place your first wager on any game then you'll receive up to $1,500 in bonus bets if your bet loses just make sure you use

bonus code playdate when you sign up betmgm make it legendary legendary legendary bets i parlayed the chargers and the keenan allen anytime touchdown on monday and i'm up big let me let me tell you there are few feelings as good as as smack in a nice little parlay damn right guys download betmgm today lucy lucy this podcast is brought to you by lucy uh this episode alone i think i had three breakers just because i like to keep i like to keep it fresh and fun guys lucy is intelligent nicotine for adults designed by scientists to deliver the most satisfying nicotine experience and always tobacco free whether you use nicotine to enhance focus boost your energy or relax there's a lucy for you they offer products from hydrating breakers

to pouches to lozenges to gum with individual servings ranging from four milligrams to 12 milligrams ensuring satisfaction for even the most demanding nicotine routines and tell them about your favorites i go mint eight milligram breakers come here here's how i use them i use them to focus i use them to relax i use them after a beer i use them on the golf course i use them when i'm giving a presentation to a large conglomerate uh and i need one of those later right i have a large conglomerate meeting later yes uh but guys oh they even they put a vending machine in our office with them that has been awesome for me that is insane because i can go in there with the key if i want but it is fun to press the buttons uh guys give lucy a shot today

by going to lucy.co slash friday and use promo code friday for 20 off your first order again that's lucy.co slash friday and use promo code friday to save 20 on your first order warning this product contains nicotine nicotine is an addictive chemical let's get back into the episode all right andrew let's hear an am i the asshole okay hot guac wait that could be so sometimes i pick am i the assholes because they're interesting other times i pick them because it's a very relatable okay thing that i think a lot of people which does this fall into relatable okay okay i think a lot of people could relate to this so curious to hear your guys thoughts uh my name is sam and i'm curious what you guys think about this i am 22 and recently just about two months

ago got out of a six-year relationship whoa he only fully moved out a month ago so i thought i was ready for apps i was not anyway i met a guy we hit it off but i was honest from the beginning i told him i just got out of a relationship and i just want to have fun he's 20 by the way and he seemed pretty okay with it now we had only hung out two weekends and he was already talking about how he loved me oh i'm the one for him all this stuff uh it got overwhelming so i was honest and decided to end things with him he has still continued to try to pursue me and i'm just not having it by the way he lives about an hour away um and i'm the one driving and picking up him consistently anyways just wanted to let you guys know uh if i'm the asshole uh for this when i

tried to do the natural thing no i don't think he should have told you he loved you two weeks in that's really weird also but in his defense in his defense your catch if a beautiful person is sam a boy or girl uh girl if sam if a beautiful lady was driving an hour plus to come pick me up two weekends in a row let me tell you i can see how he got there i can see how he he got a little over his skis he got a little excited because that's not that's not casual behavior that's that's relation that's relationship that's really tight beat yeah why how did you meet him on was it a hinge that long distance an hour away like what's your range bro where do you where you live yeah where you live in like the like the woods or some shit true oh yeah maybe they live in the

I didn't think about it. They lived in the woods. That changes everything. Yeah, Sam lives with three bears, and the beds are never right. Yeah. So she has to drive. She has to pay the troll toll every time. Oh, yeah.

She's like, I'm just so, the troll toll is draining my bank account. I can't go see you every weekend. His riddles are so hard. No, you're not the asshole. It's like, dude, I'm just trying to go see this guy. I'm going on a date. He's like, no, you gotta do this. the riddles. I'm itchy

and I stink. What am I? Shut up. Stop it. Let me go. Let me go. I don't have any money. I'm going on a second date. Pay the toll. I'm 11 feet tall, but I fit in your pocket. I follow you everywhere yet you cannot touch me.

What am I? Your shadow. Can I go? Can I go to? No. No. No. That was too easy. That was a softball. You're a high school boyfriend. You didn't know but he's still following you. I'm 11 meters long, but I never make a shape. What am I?

I'm an advanced military piece of technology that is undetectable. I don't know that, troll. I've never heard. How would I ever have gotten that? I bombed civilians in the Middle East, and I never went to jail for it. Who am I? That could be like 10 people. Any of the last five fucking presidents.

This bridge hurts. I want a new house. I'm four stories tall, but I fit in a Kindle. What am I? A book. Can I go now? No. all right uh not the asshole i've bombed i've bombed civilians in the middle east but i've

never been tried at the hague who am i i could be like a lot of people like the majority of countries most world leaders all right all right what the hell just happened why did you let that Andrew clipped that. Andrew clipped that? Yeah, yeah. I feel like we could do the Middle East part. I think that part's funny. I feel like maybe just, or at least lead with that.

Yeah, that's fantastic. Really? Should we do what are the odds? Yeah. What are the odds you post like and TBH on your store? Like for TBH. Oh, 50. Okay, I'll do it too.

Okay. One, two, three, 47. Oh, thank God. One, two, three, 11. 25. All right. Glad we got that out of the way. Oh, I didn't want to do that.

All right. That was funny. Even though that Feathers McGraw story went viral. Yeah, I got a lot of people being like, this really resonated with me. How I be. Okay, Andrew, pause this immediately. But it's not how I be. I mean immediately.

I'm taking thirst, champs. I'm four inches long and women hate me. what am i all right all right you're planked in okay yeah yes okay have fun on your date all right have fun um don't do anything i wouldn't do all right willie this is uh these are two young lads doing a tackling drill after pop warner practice and their dad's filming love it and uh and they are there seems to be a really big emphasis on proper tackling technique on this team, so let's give it a shot.

Yeah. Nice. Oh, God. Those kids are going to die of concussions. Just leading with the head. And he goes, nice. It's like two rams running into each other. Nice.

He went flying. That is like the opposite of how you're supposed to tackle i think that's great pause all right there's a dog let's see who willie rocks oh i hate this fucking you know this guy yeah i know this guy i'm a guy next time it rains go dance in the rain together play rough with each other splash each other and just enjoy a good old time together next time it rains go dance in the rain together play rough with each other splash each other and just enjoy a good old time together this there's go to this guy's page there's one there's one of him with his wife that's really

funny and it's about how he's really honestly here's my take on this guy i was too harsh on him he women out there deserve a man who is you know thinking of ways to keep it fresh ways to pleasure her please go to their reels wave the pleasure that was on camera oh no never mind all right i like him should we do teach me something teach cancel me me something all right this is maybe predictable but it it just blows my mind what do you think is the best-selling cereal in america cheerios yeah who the fuck is buying cheerios here's here's my thing that i've learned over the years the average person i think has bad taste just in general and they're fine with living a mundane life do honey nut count because honey nut bus

No. Well, Honey Nut's second. Honey Nut B-B- Oh, they have one and two? Yeah. God. Cheerios is like- General Motors is like the biggest-

General Motors sells Cheerios? I think it's General Mills. General Mills. I knew they tasted like petrol. All right. You ever heard of MK- I don't like petrol. You ever heard of MKUltra?

Yeah. So I had it. Apparently, this is a very well-known thing, and I would like anyone else out there who's missing out on a very fun story. because i i'd heard the name i didn't know what it was yeah between the 1950s and 70s the cia secretly ran a program called mk ultra do you notice andrew no it was aimed at developing mind control techniques during the height of the cold war i think let that sink in they were they were like we are going to figure out mind control uh in an effort to manipulate human behavior the

agency conducted horrifying experiments using lsd hypnosis electroshock therapy and sensory deprivation here's where it gets fucked under often without the subject's knowledge or consent so you didn't know what's happening to you they did this on u.s people and canadians uh citizens prisoners mental patients and even their own employees it's like cia employees would just have this happen to them uh they were dosed with lsd for weeks others observed were observed through two-way mirrors in staged environments like fake brothels an operation known as midnight climax come on that's what they call me in high school they call me in high school that's i've never been to high school one cia whatever the gist is they

were just doing it like the cia was going fucking ballistic on like innocent people with acid and like weird experiments and just never got in trouble there's like pretty credible evidence that like lee harvey oswald might have been well he was oh i don't know he was like in a cia program in north carolina like years before that they were like trying to weaponize him as like an asset that they could control you know like a like a sleeper agent yeah i mean they kind of basically like because he was like a left-leaning like cuban sympathizer they like they like or they like built him to be like they created him as like a scapegoat in case yeah in case they needed to do something they wanted to have a guy that they

like had control over that was like a well-documented like pro-cuban leftist guy you know who else was uh who else was kind of fucked up by the government that ended up doing something bed hit me the unabomber ted kaczynski oh yeah went to harvard when he was like 15 or 16 which is pretty impressive and they put him in this program where the beginning stages were just like therapy and so they got all his secrets and then at the end just flipped on him and like a big large part of his uh manifesto no a large part of like why he was or what he would talk about in therapy was like his mom issues and after they had built this trust with like his favorite professor they had the favorite professor just berate him be like yeah you fucking mama's boy

whatever and like flipped it on him and apparently he just went nuts and went in the other direct because it like messed up his brain so much like the one guy he trusted flipped on him and then he became the fucking unabomber damn you know he's like a math professor at berkeley yeah he's like a brilliant mom i mean he would literally that was let that sink in he was at harvard when he was like 15 that's insane uh all right should we do weird owl songs that don't exist first or signs you'd find at your mom's house andrew looks like he's like depressed yeah i think i think he didn't like my ted kaczynski story um no i was gonna say what ask it again ask it again do you want to do weird owl songs that don't exist or signs you'd find in your

mom's house yes yes you got got i got i got deed you got deed down all right andrew which would you like to start with uh weirdo okay these are weird owl songs that don't exist okay this is Where is my phone? Dun-dun, dun-dun. Where is my phone? I checked in the couch cushions. I don't even know what the real song is. Say It Ain't So?

Oh, oh, oh. Where is my phone? Yeah, I like that. I like it. Listening to New Heights. It's about listening to Travis Kelsey's podcast. And he goes, oh, I'm listening to New Heights. Like Blinding Lights.

tailor song i pulled the stitches out and now i need a tailor i need someone who's good my last guy was a failure please same day turn around i don't have time to mail her i like it you know sailor song you don't know that song kiss me on the mouth oh yeah yeah yeah like a sailor okay i got i gotta play on it's like a huge song yeah i like it i like it i like it i have a question well i'll do it after this draft okay it's it's like to the to the jingle of imagine by john lennon and he goes imagine dragging these nuts all over your face i like that a lot uh this is peeing blood he kicked my nuts and now i keep peeing keep keep peeing now blood keep peeing keep keep peeing now blood i keep peeing keep keep peeing now blood

he kicked my nuts and i i love it uh that was kind of a where were you moment top five play date where are you where are we did three is that okay yeah i have one more i actually only have i don't have any other good ones so i i have one more um i can improv one do you want to hear fun vance make me burp or stricto mode stricto mode okay well that was the only one i don't know what i'm saying so this is this is like hosiers take me to church and it's about a baby who is having stomach issues and he goes make me burp i something something i'm crying in my crib every day you put me to bed and write me then write me a play you put me to bed when i just want to play yeah tell me mom can you please come hit me like hit me make me burp come yeah

i'm hanging in the crib and my stomach is hurt yeah okay um these are what i don't this is about like a weatherman who overslept oh i don't know the weather oh oh no uh oh we should we should do it later i do uh i had one it was about wanting a more lively vice president and it's i need a fun vance all right should we do signs you'd find in your mom's house yes these are signs you'd find in your mom how these are signs you'd find in your mom how these are signs you'd find in your mom's house in this fixer-upper we pray before supper four walls one love two and a half bathrooms that's actually a pretty good one um family is the only f word we use in this house

yeah this family's crazy cool really awesome zany yes uh no running by the pool unless mom needs another margarita looking for my husband check ipa wait what is ipa like an ipa um mom's always right but left politically if you're homesick just follow the smell of mom's bacon um don't disturb mom unless you're bleeding need help with homework or have wine god family ocean mist there's always some shit about like the ocean i was trying to come up with like a lake one yeah like moms always have like lake ones yeah there's no there's no arguing at the lake yeah all right

should we should we just do mailbag next time because we're running a little low on time or you want to do it let's just open it super quick maybe mailbag one at a time mailbag What time are we going to be out of here by 11.30? 11.38. Yeah, we'll be fine. 11.38. Dibs a big one. We just got to be out of here by 11.38.

What about the little one? There was a little one, I thought. This is from Lauren, but I'll read it on another episode. From Lauren? Or maybe I could read it. Oh, oh, oh. Wait, is that even like for public? Is that for public?

I think so. I think I told her I would read it. It's a book. It's a book. oh that's so awesome sorry for the messy look at this little whale tail print okay sorry for the messy handwriting i'm an architect lol have willie give it an give it an arty or can i translate i don't know what that means you want me to translate yeah that's what they're saying oh oh oh give it a try not give it an arty

okay those of you guys are kind of ganging up on me here also noted to read on pod i know they're long also sorry there's nothing for andrew included paper clips so he doesn't feel left out wait willie you were gonna you were actually gonna love this have willie give it a try or i can turn that okay yeah a pickle for the knowing ones oh oh my god it's the it's the like incomprehensible writing of that guy who kept accidentally getting rich oh that is fucking awesome lord timothy dexter yeah or you talked about it yeah yeah okay we will read we will read this in private that is that's awesome fucking awesome whoa okay wait can you explain so there was this guy named baddies vote there was this guy named lord timothy dexter who

was like new money and all the um and there's a bunch of paper clips and all the like old money in new england people that had just come over were like not a fan of his so they kept trying to like give him bad business advice and so they were like you should ship heating pans to the bahamas which obviously they don't need those there because it's warm and then when they got there the guy was like oh perfect like we needed these for some like other reason and so he made like a killing and that every time he would they would like set him up for failure it would miraculously work and uh and then he wrote this book called a pickle for the knowing ones that apparently has like zero punctuation and is impossible to read i'm so excited to read this

that's awesome thank you that is what is her name esme esme that is a pickle for the knowing she's og she's sent stuff before this is my this is my favorite can i have this yeah this is my favorite thing i've ever gotten wow so whoa i will put this in a place of honor in my house just beat covid yeah all right we love you guys oh wait rusty song oh wait and we got black flags blue waters oh my god there's another card okay this is for me so that card's for you this card's for me got it so maybe the pickle for the knowing ones is for you willy pick you can have it are you sure you just said it's your favorite gift you've ever received i was like oh yeah i guess i set you up because i set you up for failure and then i got black flags blue waters the epic

history of america's most notorious pirates as nice people are so nice you have made my year uh that's awesome that is fucking fantastic well done can i read this letter from lauren yes so lauren left a letter in her desk for the new producer to read uh which she told me about on our last day um she's like give this to the new producer yeah and i was like oh i hope it's me so this was on july 29th 2025 uh hi new producer i don't know who you are yet but i wanted to say hello and wish you the absolute best of luck with playdate i deeply treasure the community we've built and i trust it will be left in good hands please keep the boys in check for me and remind the playmates how much they are loved you are going to crush it also let's coordinate my surprise

guest appearance because i miss it already yippee be yourself lauren oh shout out lauren love you lauren um all right time for rusty's song of the day today i this has been one of my new favorite songs of all time by the barefoot man margarita days here's the thing wasting away on margarita days sometimes i think that music the artist and there's nothing wrong with this the artist tries to get a little too big picture and it's sometimes a song doesn't need to be super deep to resonate with me this is just about how fun it is to just have a margarita and he says he's in a margarita days he's in a tequila haze and i was like that's awesome and so the barefoot man uh margarita days go listen to it on rusty's songs of the day when we hit 10 000 followers on

the playlist you're gonna get 100 one of two of you are getting 101 102 now right someone sent in Oh, yeah, $102. All right, we love you guys. Have a great rest of your Monday. Have a great Tuesday, and we will see you bright and early for our Wednesday episode. And also, since this comes out, what, Monday? Yeah.

So by now, the Mets will have clinched the playoffs. Oh, and donate to Best Buddies using the link in the description. You guys have been crushing it, and we appreciate every single one of you that are donating. We're over $6,000 raised. Yeah, I was going to say, are they allowed to know this title? It means the world to us. Wait, what did you say, Andrew?

are they allowed to know the total you're over 6k but we need to hit 10k by the end of the month which we will do with your help we love you guys buh-bye