Will & Rusty's Playdate - liam cullagh addresses helen kellering allegations

Episode Date: July 31, 2024

Will is stuck in an oil painting while Liam Cullagh joins Rusty for their 48th Playdate. The boys talk Glen Powell, rats, and getting way too high. They also hear an AITA scenario involving a sexist, give their take on buzzcuts, and compare childhood playground games. The episode wraps with an epic draft of documentaries that don’t exist and trends that Liam and Rusty think will be huge this year. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod FOLLOW LIAM: https://www.instagram.com/liamcullagh_/ GO TO https://amazon.com AND USE CODE 10PLAYDATE1 AT CHECKOUT FOR 10% OFF YOUR PURCHASE OF NOT BEER. ZERO CARB, ZERO ALCOHOL, AND ZERO TASTE… BEER. DOWNLOAD THE APP AND TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR FINANCES WITH CASH APP. IT PAYS TO GET PAID ON CASH APP! https://apps.apple.com/us/app/cash-app/id711923939 HEAD TO https://rikispirits.com/ TO FIND OUT WHERE TO GET RIKI NEAR YOU. FOLLOW @FRIDAY.BEERS AND @RIKISPIRITS TO STAY UP TO DATE WITH UPCOMING RIKI CONTESTS AND GIVEAWAYS. (00:00) The Elephant in the Room (01:26) Twisters (02:59) Rats (08:30) Your High School Weed Dealer (11:50) Getting Too High (17:21) Intro (19:08) The Worst Party Ever (22:45) Roadmap (24:43) Pitch Submissions (30:00) Drugs (40:16) Pitches (Presented by Cash App) (42:02) Cape Elizabeth Watcher (54:11) AITA (01:04:10) Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board (01:11:00) This Guy Rocks (01:12:20) Teach Me Something (01:14:37) Documentaries that Don’t Exist (01:17:37) Trends that Will be Big (01:19:33) Whose Personality are you Stealing? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

the witching hour was always a great a great time welcome back to the jazz lounge ladies and gentlemen welcome back to rusty and liam's jazz lounge we're gonna get you wet real quick welcome back to 88 point jack the what the what we're doing a little dry down session with the next few songs we got some bob dillon and neil young but we'll wet you back up in a little bit We're going to wet you guys back up here in a second, but let's dab everyone up with a towel. Dry hour. Dry hour, dude.

Grab that ShamWow. It's the Moonlight Minute. It's the Moonlight Minute. All right, we have to address the elephant in the room. Will is not here this week, so Liam Cull is going to sit in. We're very excited about it. Will is trapped in an oil painting, and we can get a word from him here. Maybe he's fighting the good fight, but I think it's going to be fun.

William, how you doing? I'm doing great I appreciate you guys having me on It's great to be back In the Playdate universe It's a special program and I feel honored to be on here Yeah, I think we've You're a fan favorite on Playdate

That's what I like to hear I'm kind of sad Willie D's in here so I can't razz him I can't poke him in the ribs with a pencil as hard as I can That's usually what I like to do to that guy What did you get up to this weekend? let's see uh i saw twisters with glenn powell yes how was it uh it was awesome it was hilarious did he come to your theater no no he didn't i wish i don't fucking puked i haven't seen it but i feel like everyone is saying that it wasn't good i see i went in hoping it was corny as fuck yeah with

just great tornado shit yep got what i wanted it was oh okay yeah i mean it's uh it's very you're not going in it's not like a fucking if you went into twisters and was expecting like an academy award-winning performance you were there for the wrong reasons yeah that's not what it was glenn powell holy shit he's hot dude my shit was flinching yeah he's yeah he's uh he's pretty great dude i've been getting my balls quivered when he came in in every scene dude there's one scene where he's just flexing as hard as he can yeah he's in the rain and i was like i'd let him take me probably have you noticed there were a lot of ram trucks and did ram sponsor it there was a couple of ad there's one scene where he's he holds a budweiser logo out

he's like what's up city girl yeah i think it's better to i think it's better to do that than to try and like sneak it in like you're not smarter than the audience we're gonna know new girl always had funny ads for uh the ford escape and it was just like it'd be like an awesome episode and then there would be you could tell the writers just kind of mailed it in they're like we have to talk about this fucking ford escape and so they would there was one where they were just riffing about oh my god the rat chewed through that fucking beer box we've we've oh my god i thought you were gonna say yeah there's rats there's rats in this fucking office i'd stomp it out um i'd bite its head off when will was uh when will was interviewing zero from holes apparently

the biggest rat of all time like 10 inches ran ran through the uh the interview yeah jesus christ that's another i wish kate said that she thought it was like a cat or something it ran up her leg dude there was one time i'd never seen a rat before and then uh me and joe flew to new york we were staying in time square and we landed at 3 30 in the morning we got to our airbnb at 4 a.m we were like fuck it there's no one on time square right now we should go walk around and it was just the rats there's a few homeless dudes meandering and then just see like like lines and waves of rats coming out under things it was crazy like three in a row going someplace the home they're like two homeless guys and like a cat-sized rat having like sharing 140

around like a trash can with a fire in it the rat has like a like a really uh tattered pea coat phil used to send me videos where he lived in pittsburgh and he would just throw bricks at his trash can and just literally like raccoon-sized cats would or uh rats would fly out of it oh He's Charlie Kelly. I thought you were going to say he was smashing the bricks. I'd be like, all right. That's spraying their blood all over me. Yeah, my cat will bring mice to the patio.

It's like a term of... It's them showing that you're the boss. You know, that's why the bubonic plague spread as fast as it did. What happened? The Pope at the time thought cats were a symbol of Satan or the devil. Something stupid. and so he pretty much outlawed cats

so then the rats came in and there was nothing to kill the fucking rats and so it spread like wildfire people were so fucking stupid back then oh my god not saying we're like Nobel laureates by any stretch of the word but like we'd be two of the thousand smartest guys alive

yeah our words would carry weight do we have the knowledge we have now? then yeah we'd be the smartest guys on the planet we wouldn't be able to explain it to them no that's like we were we were talking about this the other day like they'd kill us for being heretics yeah we're heretics what's that mean just like you shit i called you bluff yeah someone's just like saying not the truth like you can't you're going against the status quo

you're you're a heretic yeah you're you're a liar you're a heretic can we google heretic looks like i've never heard i don't know how to spell it heritage h e it looks like you kind of H-R-E, sorry. It looks like a nail on the head. A person believing you're practicing religious hearsay. Still... Unorthodox thinker. Yeah.

Heretic. Heretic! The world is round. Heretic. I think... Oh, okay, so it's... Or wait, I didn't know if that was... Oh.

Variation of that. So that's not... That doesn't say hearsay. That says heresy? I wasn't gonna... I thought it was hearsay, too. I thought it was like they just hated a guy... They hated guys who didn't have, like, solid proof.

They just wanted to be the smartest guys there, and then we got tripped up by a heretic. Heretic fucked my day up. My life's over. What's the first thing you would tell them? We get sent back to like, it's like 1241. 1241. And we're just like.

I'd be like, dude, we got to invent central plumbing. Yeah. That'd be my first thing. Because I think that would stop a lot of disease and shit. Because that's people are shitting in the streets and all that. Do you have even like a baseline knowledge of how we could make that happen? I think I have a baseline knowledge of irrigation. but i think i think i would just i'd have to invent like pipes like cbc pipes yeah but i don't know

how to go about i don't have plastic you could be like a really good foreman you know what i mean like we might not have the technical skills yeah making it happen but you're like all right here's like the we give them like a crude drawing yeah like all right this is like kind of the general idea of what i learned i absolutely know it you would have to we'd have to befriend all the different smiths yeah and then they'd use my book of drawings intelligence for years to come like wow he predicted everything this guy was fucking this guy figured it out how did we how did we get into like electricity that's that one's always stumped like stumped me like we went we went from we went from they didn't know they didn't know anything and they didn't have anything to in like

200 years we have bluetooth yeah don't know i think war war has definitely helped because people were innovating with a fire under their ass it's like if we don't innovate fast enough japan's gonna kill us yeah we do need we need to feel we need to feel a little bit more pressure yeah and yeah we need like an industrial revolution type of thing where it's it's a race it's an arms race but for fucking bathrooms and shit like the race to the moon that was just because we wanted to beat russia there do you think we i think we just lied about the moon stuff yeah i think we went i uh i don't know i think it'd be crazy if if that'd be a really wild one i just find it hard to believe that we were like once is enough once is plenty we'll know we won't be going back

anymore we might have been back once more did they touch down i think i think a couple brothers went to orbit but i don't think anyone they do be sending brothers yeah brothers constantly in orbit um the uh what was the one that we were talking about the other some do you ever do you ever have a kid that would sell you weed in high school who like one of the prerequisites was just you had to listen to his conspiracy theories yeah yeah there was like me oh you were that like if anyone smoked with me i'd be like you got to hear it i got i got some stuff to say we wouldn't even be smoking with it i don't want to say his name but we would he was just like i think he got into psychedelics like the human brain needs a little bit of time

to develop you can't just start i think we were 15 and he was firing off like you know psilocybin whatever and i remember i went to his house one time and you ever watch skins i know what it is never saw it his episode his house always felt like an episode of skins like it was like he existed in a different universe than we did like i walked into his house one time and his mom and his boy his mom and her boyfriend were just like really hard hooking up on the couch and like nice house so apparently his did you get aroused no it was so jarring to see that it wasn't like it wasn't like even sexual to me it was just like oh you didn't want to stop and soak that no no but his so their claim to fame was his dad allegedly brought the most or attempted to bring

the most amount of i think it was cocaine into like it was across some state line and he got caught with like a u-haul of cocaine and somehow they still have a lot of the money yeah you want to know why she's laughing i'm sorry the last three minutes i was spacing out because she put her gum on the computer and i texted up i chewed up and i messaged in our office group chat saying who is the culprit and it's emily and now she don't you dare out me right now you're an animal i'm out of barge in here that's i'm outing you as we speak you're an animal chewing up your gum and putting it somewhere is so repulsive dude she's a goddamn animal she really is she says some shit sometimes and i'm like she did she walked in we were all liam and i were standing

in by like where liam was working today and the little dog walked in but emily watched emily watches it uh do its little p circle squats peas emily does nothing except for point it and go she's about to pee the dog peed all over the carpet and then she was like well that was that was inconvenient well what are you supposed to do in that situation pick it up pipe down bitch this is playdate pod you have no powers here your money's no good here emily but uh so sorry the kid that we would go to his house whatever i remember he would have the weed in his hands the exchange that has like could happen right now but he would just get distracted like whiteboards in his room like draw you diagrams yeah it was it was honestly it was like not worth it it was

like i don't even know if i want to smoke weed anymore yeah they just get scared he he was also really bad at articulating how much you wanted so for like a guy that like i didn't have like a baseline knowledge of like edibles or anything at 15 16 and he gave me a do you ever have like a stoned rope you remember those stoned rope they were like the nerd ropes but yes yes oh i've i gotta tell you the tale so you've you've run into these brothers as well yeah these brothers i know one time i was like uh it was the first edible i was buying from he was like you know i usually i usually eat the whole thing so you should probably just take like half i was like how many like milligrams he's like it's 100 milligrams like 50 would be far too many for me he's like uh he's

like yeah if you don't if you if uh the first half doesn't do anything just like take the other half it'll be chilling and so i ate the first half in my head it was like an instant thing didn't feel anything so i was just like after five minutes took the other half and for what felt like 11 hours i was holding on to my uh headboard because i felt like i was gonna leave earth yeah dude my buddy would cook uh homemade edibles and then he didn't really know how strong they were so i was like i'll be your lab rat i'll figure it out and so most of the time it was just like really fun i'd be like oh that was a dud or like that was way too much and then one time he made uh these marshmallows was putting i don't know how he fucking did it but he made marshmallows same

size normal marshmallow yeah and we're at school and he's like yo try this i made a batch of these let me know what you think it's like second or third period i take one dude full-blown panic attack like the i'm like i'm gonna die real panic attack where i'm like no i'm not even gonna live this is it like this is so i went we had a good run yeah did you like come to terms with it too Yeah, I was like, I'm going to go home, I'm going to go to sleep, and I'm going to die in my sleep. And that's going to be fine. And everyone's going to be really confused what's going to happen. And I went home, and I just went to bed, like, fully ready to die.

And then I fell asleep, slept through the whole night, woke up the next morning. I woke up, and I was like, oh, thank God I'm alive and it's over. Still high. Two seconds after I woke up, I was like, oh, no, I'm still so high. And I was high for another, like, four or five hours. And I saw him the next day, and I was like, dude, you cannot sell those to anyone. I just sold 10. and the kids were just at school it's like oh fuck you see guys just being like oh

sophomore year college i remember going to bed one night and i was like so high like freaking out and every time i closed my eyes i would see people in my room so i thought there were like a bunch of people in my room like coming to get me and at one point i thought like the cops were in my room and then like the ambulance came and i was imagining this entire this is all from an edible Yes. Jesus. I don't know if it was an edible or what form it was, but I saw people in my room. Yeah.

That might have been real. That's something else. That might have been real. No, that sounds like something else was in the edible. No. Have you ever had a sleep paralysis, Steven? I haven't. I haven't.

I haven't had a demon, but I had a weird hallucination that was one of the most real things I've ever experienced. Ugh. where i was like one of those things where i think you i'm awake in my dream but i can't get up and then i broke out of that and i was like in my bed and then i was uh my dog like walked over to me on the mattress and i was petting my dog and then i woke up again in a different room my dog wasn't in the room oh and i in my whatever it was a dream i was at my grandma's house and then i woke up and i was at my parents house totally different rooms dog no dog there was this high or just like you were just having a bad night uh sleep paralysis or something and i remember being like that was

the most vivid and real dream or hallucination whatever you want to describe it as yeah and it wasn't scary or anything it was just like why why was in a different room why was my dog there it was really real it doesn't i've never understood like why we even need dreams i think so you can like figure stuff out you can like work through stuff but it seems i don't think anyone knows i don't think anyone knows either i had one i'd won uh like a sleep paralysis one where i was awake couldn't move it felt like i was slipping off the bed and it felt like someone was kneeling on my chest and i knew that i knew that they were there but i couldn't do anything about it and i remember just being like oh like like like we got it we got to fight if we got to figure out

a way to get out of this whatever kind of fought it fought it for a second and then woke up and was too scared to go back to bed so i just went downstairs turned on all the lights and just like watch netflix for a minute yeah dude i had a dream like that one time where i was in a football game and i couldn't open my eyes yeah so i'm just like playing like that blind kid from that video that's literally how i'm trying to find the a-gap what the fuck is going on uh we're gonna take a quick second to tell you about one of our new favorite sponsors It's super innovative, so take a deep breath so you do not faint. It's the world's first zero-carb, zero-alcohol, and zero-taste beer.

That's right. They did the impossible. If you haven't figured it out by now, it's actually just sparkling water. The brand is Not Beer. That's what it's called. Not Beer. The can looks like a beer. It talks like a beer. But it's just sparkling water, so you can drink it all day, every day. It's a healthy alternative to alcohol, a great drink when you aren't drinking a beer, and a fun and sustainable alternative to boring single-use plastic water bottles that nobody likes. I personally love Not Beer.

I have a bunch under my desk. I like to hide it from the others because it goes so fast. I think it just fits in my hand nice. They're bigger than a regular seltzer, so I don't have to get up and get a new one every 30 minutes. Again, the brand is called Not Beer, N-O-T-B-E-E-R. You can find Not Beer on Amazon.com. Go to Amazon.com and use the code 10PLAYDATE1 at checkout for 10% off your purchase. That's 10PLAYDATE1, 1-0-PLAYDATE-1 for 10% off your purchase of not beer.

Let's get back into the episode. Playdate episode? Playdate episode, um... 48? 48. I don't have any 48s off the top of my head. Who's the 48th president? The 48th president will be RFK Jr.

No, you know who he is. Oh, yeah, we're at 46. yeah biden's 46 that's on me remember what we wanted to start last week with like guessing celebrities who are 40 oh okay yeah so this is how we do this now lamb we we all guess a celebrity that we think is 48 and whoever is closest that is the person that is the name of the episode uh or that is this person's episode even if they're not last week was reese witherspoons yeah no she was not 47 so 48 i'm gonna go pedro pasqual i don't know who that is what yes you do wait who oh pedro i thought you said adri adriolo i don't know what i thought i heard 48 i'm gonna go uh

wait speaking of i saw him outside well i did i tell you no i was walking to work one day and like we just i'm like driving by going to park me like make eye contact for like a few seconds i was like that's sick seen so many people around so many that's gotta be a nightmare every person that you make eye contact with is all is already making eye contact with you terrifying yeah joe burrow said that that's his least favorite part about fame is he loved to people watch and now when he's people watching any person that he looks at is there's like a 90 chance they're already looking at him yeah it's he's like i have to wear he's like i wear sunglasses in restaurants so i can people watch not because i'm like famous he's like i want to be able to look at you without you

knowing that i'm looking at you yeah i mean being high in public must be ruined for them yeah i don't even do it now yeah the sliver of it that i've experienced being high and going to a party that's over i was done dude we went to uh we got into some chocolates a couple days ago on saturday and uh you know there were rumblings of a party down the street so we're like all right we'll go and tremors what tremors lauren was there and uh we were walking down the canals you know pop in start saying hello to people immediately realize it's a white party and none of us are wearing white i don't think is that what the big issue was in your brain what is that is that what you were really concerned about no that would i guarantee that party was awful no it was it was

it was like everyone there must have sucked it was a thousand people what do you say i don't remember i was pretty high you go if there's one place that i would have a heart attack it's here Yeah, well, we were, like, coming up, and I was, like, holding my friend's hand. And then, like, their hand, like, disintegrated. And I looked down. They'd been gone for, like, 45 seconds. But it was just like, huh. And then I look around.

I was wearing enough white that I think people thought I was in on it. But Joe was wearing a blue shirt. It, like, shouldn't have been a big deal. And we just heard some, like, bitchy girl be like, this is supposed to be a white party. And we were like, we're in someone's backyard. Like, what are you talking about? Just grab her ears and scream as hard as you can into her mouth. And it was like hard EDM.

It just felt like a college party dropped in the middle of a nice little family neighborhood. Yeah, it was really strange. This is not... LA sucks. We left pretty quickly. We went to Hanana's, kind of burnt Hanana's to the ground. Hanana was fine. That's sick.

Nice Hanana's sesh. We were there a couple weeks ago. Me and you? Yeah. You were holding court, and then you left, and then apparently I started holding court. That's the worst thing. I saw Tyler the next day. He was like, yeah, you're fucked up last night.

were holding court telling a ton of stories about yourself and i was like fuck liam and i liam and i feel like uh and lauren you might be able to i feel like when you and i get together it's just a who's who of stories yeah it's a story you'll start one i will listen i will say that's very fun i had something almost identical tell the exact same story you will tell another one i'll tell and it's a back and forth it was me and liam i think that's great though it's the my favorite guy it's my favorite i don't want to talk about anything about topics i want to talk yeah i want to reminisce on things that happened that i miss yeah i gave life used to be so cool we should talk about that dude i so there we were at hanana's again i was with uh our friend jess and i can't

remember his name uh michael he was like a screenwriter so funny yeah uh he was like a you know whatever and he kind of overheard me talking about uh you know who you can probably if i'm reminiscing i'm probably talking about this one person and he heard it and was like that's intriguing and came and sat down and it was like the dream guy because usually people are like dude i don't want to talk about this whatever and uh he was just asking me every question uh possible and i got to just get everything off my chest and it was awesome that's awesome a little we're talking yeah of course um all right who's 48 oh yeah uh i'm gonna go i'm gonna go uh hunter biden is he 48 he might be a little bit older yeah mariah carey that's good she's way older no

that's a good guess uh i bet i bet you know who's uh wait sneaky oh you don't want to do pedro no i'll do pedro okay uh i don't think who are you gonna say wow pedro is 49 i'm wait i knew she was in her 50s okay and hunter biden is definitely not if pedro pascal is yeah alright Liam you get to you get to have it now the Pedro Pascal episode

alright should we do a little road map what's that it's this thing Will hates where I where we just tell we tell people at home

what segments we're gonna do today okay nice so we have some Playmates submitted pitches Playmates I have

I have a pitch presented by Cash App it pays to get paid on Cash App Lauren do we have some Am I the Assholes we do okay

then we're gonna do This Guy Rocks followed by Teach Me Something and then we're gonna wrap it up with a couple documentaries that don't exist and a couple trends

that Liam and I think are gonna be huge hell yeah alright Lauren let's hear let's hear our first playmate pitch alright

wait one second Lauren you hear I'm flying Delta One on Thursday yeah you told me yeah no big deal what does that mean exactly yeah why is it Delta One

it turns it so it's regular first class is still normal Delta One turns into a bed oh i've done that it's yeah well you and i've done it together yeah it was sick unreal i'm doing that again uh on thursday red eye from uh and everyone else that i'm flying with is i'm assuming just because it's me chester and ty and ty's little sister on the same flight ty's gone

yeah it's gonna be killer um yeah we're gonna montauk yeah when i was in that that was the only time flown first class i just wanted to go back into coach and it was a night flight and just wake everyone up and be like how's everyone doing back here rise rise for me we accept one of you one of you can make it up here you just go and go and find the only girl our age i just throw a little dagger down i go we're holding tryouts for delta one lounge one of you may make The rest will not. What if the flight attendant is really tired and she sees one guy that's kind of out

and tries to curl up in bad mood? All right. Should we get into pitches? Yeah, sorry. Okay, no, you're good. Hey, Lauren and the boys, got a pitch for you. What is the worst part about cleaning your place? Sometimes I'm fully sweating by the end.

yep i think uh probably just like the the panic of not knowing where to start like i can't i can't stay focused on one thing i'll like start making the bed and then i'll be like wait but that's dirty and go ahead and fix that i don't know sweaty maybe i do that too um he said oh this is devon by the way devon uh i'm gonna actually i'm gonna change my to not knowing where to start okay he says dusting especially if you have a bunch of knickknacks or something that's hard to reach introducing dust bites these nanobot dust mites go around eating dust on all surfaces in your home once a day they're small enough to get in all the nooks and crannies of your place and keep everything looking spotless they also have sensors to keep them away from living beings

bonus idea they use some sort of cleaner so you literally never have to clean again that's great because my answer was going to be the nooks and crannies yeah my place i love it but when it comes down to the nooks and crannies god i can usually handle the nooks but i get this cranny stump me sometimes nooks are fine better on my back but the crannies are like yeah holy shit dude i feel like i'm about what is a cranny like like is it like a like a little this guy kind of what's a cranny cranny is like it's a shadowy location i'd say cobwebs small break or slit yeah yeah it's funny because like you never it's kind of like jordan pippen like you never really hear about a cranny on its own nooks you hear about like there there are nooks i was i was i was in that

bitch's nooks and crannies yeah yeah she let you hit her cranny dude i lost my cranny v card last night yeah this this girl had the worst nook i've ever seen dude it was crazy yeah let me touch her nooks and crannies now we're just like a recent fixation i noticed one of the last times i was doing like a deep clean was my blinds so i have like wooden blinds and then i did i've done it like once where i've like really taken the time to like wipe down every single one and then now i'm always fixated on the fact that they get dusty again and i just like don't think i ever want to clean them same thing as that fan yeah dude that sucks i don't i hit it with the vacuum oh you just put the turn the fan on then do the little suck on it you get all the dust off real quick i'm

pretty fast you gotta suck the dust can i give you guys a pro tip yeah in my head cleaning people were for like billionaires i think they are fifty dollars fifty dollars every two weeks you also have three other roommates true so but like it would probably be cheaper for a studio no i actually one time i was considering doing it and it's they said it'd be like 250 bucks i'm like okay i'm not find another lady i i'm thinking about doing i wouldn't do that for cleaning but i would do it for laundry because my laundry machines are such a nightmare they're outside i have to like go in the fucking back to do them quarters and the dryer sucks so i'm running i at a certain point i'm like i think i would rather just not have the damn headache of this damn thing yeah i it was news

to me after college that that like like in unit isn't as caught like i thought that i thought it was like that was only in sitcoms yeah apparently that's like a very common it's like it's like more common than not yeah and it's not like i have a ton it's one washer one dryer an entire apartment complex using it i remember yeah i go to the laundromat there was a girl in our in my freshman dorm that would uh she was like a laundry terrorist like literally i would stop your it wasn't like it wasn't like the second years was done she would take it out which like honestly i didn't have that big of a problem with i think you should be there when it ends she was a boss dude she would stop it before your thing was done and take it out so your damp clothes would

be on the top of the dryer that's insanity what's what's the laundromat vibe like the one i go to is very nice um every time i go i have a very pleasant experience because everyone is friendly that goes there the one i go to is very clean when i'm like waiting for my stuff to dry i'll like walk and get food or i'll like read my book in in my car i don't know i always i picture people like rap battling and like hmm slinging dope inside a laundromat yeah i think people are slinging dope yeah you think it's like a fend warehouse no i just think if i was gonna sling dope that's where that's literally the first place i would go if i was gonna go buy fans i'd be like i'm gonna go to a laundromat yeah someone here is just like this is i look for a guy with this hood

up yep in the corner yeah he's reading the times he's got old headphones on that are plugged into a cd player yeah yeah he's a walk man i could toss me that fan i could hit him a bag of quarters i don't even know i think i don't think i could find heroin today if i tried uh you could where would you go well like a tent on the side of the road skid row i'd take a hundred dollar bill and go down skid row and i'd be a king i'd go where are the where are the give me the give me the best heroin just sold it up dope please dope please dope oh dope man i think i do heroin when i was like 80 we were talking about it if there was if there was a like a cataclysmic event coming is that the right word yeah sure is if there was if there was one of those coming and

i had access to h i would shoot up no questions asked yeah that's the easiest way that's the easiest like yes of all time yeah i don't i'd have to have someone else tie me off veins i'm a little skittish but that's the only reason i'm like i'm like no matter how bad things get for me i don't think i could get into dope because i can't veins scare me yeah but i could i could i could probably uh ride the ice pony smoke is that smoking meth i think so i could i i uh yeah i was i was i was talking to a guy recently who uh used to smoke meth yeah and it's a wild they all everyone who's done it says it's awesome it was there why are they so open about it too have you noticed that i think some the dude i'm talking to doesn't do it anymore no no i know i

don't i think guys who are currently doing it will try and hide it from you but like guys who have made it out of that and now are you know clean i feel like they're like like we met a guy the other day we were horseback riding and her son came and we were like yeah we're going to this pool or whatever guys like oh it's crazy used to ride the ice pony down there like oh all right yeah um you ever you ever smoked meth no yeah i haven't either me neither what were we i know i'm like we went from dust mites wait yeah i can't i can't imagine how we got there but dust bites uh how did you get there i've always wondered where do they get the clear pipes you know that clear pipe they all smoke it out of where can't like amazon like a smoke shop if i went if you went in and

you were like you're like do you have any bowls and they showed you the weed bowls and you were like the other one they would be like get out yeah that's a good point i don't know um never seen them at a smoke shop let's see if you could buy one on amazon i it feels like you don't think it no that's like a different type of pipe tell you right now crack pipe it also it feels like it's all one brand like whoever whoever makes that classic you can buy crack pipes on amazon that's fucking crazy guys they don't call them that like there's just like the tube parts of it it's like glass drawings stuff yeah i mean here's the thing those guys will find a way yeah because it's so awesome yeah do you think anyone like freebases weed

hot knifing it is that what's that what it's called i think that's what's freebasing freebasing is typically i think it's like what i think of freebasing i think of people doing with cocaine in like a tin foil thing and i think you heat it up from the bottom and then you just inhale the fumes that would be hot knifing you ever done that no it's dude it's real real white trash shit for when like you don't you don't have like an apple or something nothing i did this in high school so you heat up two knives it's like you have a nug you can't even grind it up like it's you have nothing and then you cut off uh the top of a two liter at least that's what we did yeah and uh you would just like heat up two knives and then take your nug and then press the two

knives onto the nug and it would just smoke like crazy and then you take the two liter and just like and it's the hottest smoke ever and it burns your lungs but you get high as fuck off of it and uh yeah i used to we used to do a little some knife hits back in the day not not good not good I remember a lot of kids at my college who were, like, pretty affluent kids, I feel like, had the grungiest way of smoking. Like, they would have, like, a jeeb that looked like it was, like, pre-war. Did you ever make the highlighter bongs, the highlighter water bottle bongs? Like, with the hole in the bottom? You'd take, like, an empty Poland Springs, you'd, like, melt a little bit, a hole here, and then you'd shove the highlighter in so it molds around it.

and it's really tight. I definitely did not do that. And then you make a tinfoil bowl for the top of the highlighter thing. Yeah. And you got to wash the highlighter out. This has been like a crash course. Yeah.

And then, and you can like actually pull the slide out and shit. It rips really nicely. Actually, I would be worried about the fumes of the highlighter. That's a problem. Yeah. Because some guys,

I'd take a hit and I'd be like, did you wash out this highlighter a lot? And he was like, no. And I'm like, I just smoked highlighter. Yeah. And now when I'm 35,

i am gonna have a headache and die because of that we used to uh in high school we used to call it the anti-gravity bong which was a it was a snapple bottle that someone had perfectly drilled the hole into the bottom of you'd fill it and it was it was kind of awesome but it was just like you had no control over like it was a guessing it was your guess was as good as mine how high we're gonna get and uh i remember doing it going sitting in the car i think we're gonna drive back to my house and uh was like watching these like characters on the dashboard like i thought i was like watching tv or something it was like the boy's been gone for a minute i'm gonna go check on him they go inside they they're like halfway through like titanic or something i was like dude

where like let's go they were like where have you been we've gone for like two and a half hours they're just in in the car by yourself yeah it was i remember being like that was like not not fun high that was scary that was scary um all right should we hear another pitch yes let's do it okay the other one wait i what was his name devin devin devin uh i like the dust mites thank you devin sorry we got a little off topic there yeah a little off a lot of tropic all right jake murray he says what's up lauren and the munchkins i'm about to give you generational wealth generational trouble i need generational wealth dude life would be so much more fun yeah yeah sucks everyone hates the feeling of an itch on your head but you can't

scratch that you can't scratch during a haircut but not anymore introducing the itch glasses they work the same way thermal cameras do but they highlight itches that someone has barbers can wear these and use their comb to scratch the itch relieving god's worst curse pretty good pretty great now here's the thing though yeah military is going to take that technology yeah you use it to kill homeless people weaponize us yeah yeah the the uh the lady's cutting your hair and it like i'm assuming like the technology it's the same for it's just like a general need for you to touch something so it's like uh it's like he wants me to scratch it his head there but then there's just like there's like there's just a huge red spot

this guy wants me to press into his tank yeah that's he wants me to scratch his balls that's junk talk um wait so the barber can see the spot where it itches and then they itch your head yeah yeah just i love it i love it i can't say it's the problem that i think now that he's pointed it out i'm gonna start feeling that way i've never i've never had that after a haircut for sure yeah yeah like are you ever too nervous to just reach up and do it yourself like why does i would never do that yeah i'm too nervous to move at all yep i get really tired during haircuts and i want to fall asleep really bad yeah that's true especially when they're like they give you like the scalp massage before um i just wish there was a way to get get like

whatever shirt i wear to the haircut i'm prepared to part with that shirt because it'll be itchy for the rest of my life yeah it's true horrible why i don't know good tech though good tech though You might be in a Tony Stark situation, though, where you might be doing more evil than good. Yeah. Consider that. Yeah, you're almost, you're like, you could wear them around and see you as shingles.

I think what you're doing is positive, but your plans might be foiled by the military-industrial complex. You bring someone home, you bring, like, people home and put them on before you hook up with them to see if there's anything itchy on them. So that's kind.

For, like, a relationship, that'd be a nice thing to do. yeah no no i meant like i meant like to make sure that they don't have anything oh oh oh i see i see i see you'd be like why are you wearing those ski gowns i'm like you got crabs do you have something that you're hiding from me okay tell me um dude we we got uh we were sitting around when i was a senior in college one time and you know andrew porter the it's called a minute maid i think i've showed him to you before but he was you would call him minute made minute made uh and all your buddies have nicknames like they're a character from holes that's caveman that's twitch caveman mean caveman twister and shindig we're uh yeah so we

were just sitting around and someone was like should we get buzz cuts and it was one of those ones where like from the moment of conception to like when it happened was like probably like 45 minutes like there wasn't a lot of like talking about it greatest feeling in the world it's the If you guys haven't, or I guess you can't probably get one. You could. Lauren with the buzz cut. I'm good. You die blonde.

Dude, you should do one the next chance you get. It's awesome. I'm going to get a buzz cut in a BBL and just fucking start dating black rappers. Yeah, neck tattoos. I like buzz cuts on guys. I think they're cool. Yeah, I think I might get one again, but you have to grow facial hair first. You need your beard to be the same length as your hair.

I used to be a buzz cut kid and I don't think it was ever good yeah I didn't pull it off as a child but I think I pulled it off a little bit last year yeah

that's the thing though is like I can't grow facial hair so I couldn't do it because I just look like a guy with cancer I look like I look like Caillou it wouldn't be good

also like I'm not that confident that I have a great shaped head so then that would expose the shape of my my domicile when do you my noggin

when do you how what age do you start getting those rolls on the back of your neck let's see because like it feels like only bald guys have them like does it happen when there's no longer hair there i don't know i think that's because i don't think i have them no you don't as far as i know last time i checked i don't think my father does either maybe i shouldn't i gotta investigate his noggin is he bald no yeah very strange all right welcome to the pitch

sesh presented by cash app it pays to get paid on cash app okay what's what's the worst part about watching TV at night when you're going to bed. Do you do that? Do you guys fall asleep to TV? Yeah, sometimes. I don't fall asleep to it. The brightness.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. So I already solved that with the previous pitch a couple weeks ago. But this addresses the second most important thing, which is when I go to watch it again, like, however long

between the sleep timer and when I actually fall asleep, now I have to rewind and then I get spoilers because I'm watching what happened. This is connected to your, like, whoop or your, like, bracelet. or something

whoop your whoop you're not familiar with the whoop what is that it's like a brace Angus has one it's like a bracelet

that tracks like all your health knows when you're sleeping whatever and the second that you sleep it slowly it just leaves

a mark there but it'll keep playing so as to not wake you up so you can still kind of fall asleep to it but the second

you're asleep it pauses there and that's where you will resume the next day I like it something Something terrifies me about

Because I'm thinking of a smart house Down the road too The bedroom knows when you're asleep And it'll slowly turn the TV off But then who's going to hack in And get that data And who do you What kind of criminal

Is going to use that And know you're asleep He's like alright I know Everyone on this block is asleep Oh yeah that's fucked I'm going to go door to door And start I feel like they could already do that though

Because Beating people I guess I don't know That would already be a possibility Because those can trap Yeah I guess yeah i kind of get it's funny that like our just general like we we clearly aren't criminals because

we like we don't even know what we would what they would we're like yeah come in and start like beating people up people up while they're sleeping you ever you ever hear about the cape elizabeth watcher no look look up uh look up the cape elizabeth watcher this is where i grew up oh it's just a sketch outline of you it's like yeah so clearly me yeah this guy's like really cool never got caught i guess you look how fucking haunting this drawing is oh scroll down for me where is he where is he where'd he go oh my god dude he fucking freaks me out oh that's that's oh that's the drawing no i like can't look at we'll put a picture of him right here can i see the gun it's so bad bro high key high key could be me no not at all thank you um let's

fish for compliments i don't dude isn't that so spooky so the story goes dude my like nipples are hard i got scared no that made me hold your aroused yeah holy fuck what i got like a chill came over me um so this was when i was like probably like five or six but like this my mom remembers this vividly and was like this was like a scary year so people would wake up they think it was a special needs kid but people would wake up and he would just be staring at them like at the foot of their bed uh and the second that they woke up he would sprint out of like the nearest like window or door so he was just like crashed interesting crashed through their window or like run through the door or whatever never took anything never attempted to hurt or touch anyone

so he was in it for the thrill it was a sexual thrill he was i if i had to guess there are a lot of special needs kids in if i had to my town i think he just was just yeah what were you gonna say i had to guess he was he didn't take anything or touch anyone or do anything he was as hard as he's ever been watching these people sleep like as they're waking up he's like oh fuck oh fuck probably i imagine they never caught him let's go back to the thing about there being a lot of a lot of special needs people in your okay yeah so there's like a lot what do you mean though so why is there a higher population because we have it's not like they're not like a herd we have like i didn't say that yeah i kind of put words in your mouth um we have like a really

a really uh good program for them like at the school yes so uh people would move to the town because knowing that like the facilities at our school were the best for and they i think they let them stay an extra two years so it was just like it was the spot to be right there were yeah but looking back like there were a lot you know i was in the class for one day in second grade really talk about talk about that uh i was in miss dermon's class and i remember a handful i think they were like trying to trying to nip it in the bud like they were trying to figure it out quick and they just like were putting people in there and seeing if they fit in and i i i can't remember if i really fit in or if i like didn't but it was like a one day like i don't even think

my parents like heard about it but like i was just there for a day and i think i was like kind of the king for like a day like i imagine you ruled with an iron fist no i took the throne immediately yeah from andy yeah yeah you said bend the knee or burn i remember i remember feeling like really it was kind of like um did you ever get put on like a bad team but you were the best guy so it was like you you're stuck between a rock and a hard place you're like i kind of like being king of this yeah but in reality but like there wasn't a lot of competition yeah um it was kind of one of those guys yeah you're uh you're a big fish in a pond filled with kids with down syndrome there was only a cop is that how the expression goes you were you were a fish you were

a fish uh caught by a kid with down syndrome um there were a lot of kids with down syndrome it felt like you were a bit of a lifeguard in that in that room well i remember i got i was there was this kid luke who a couple of us were like boys with him like i went to his birthday party and uh and then he moved hmm i didn't like that yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a crazy tale no he just like we just went and we were boys and then one year he was just gone or what he beat it or did he flee because he's the cape elizabeth watcher no he was too young but like that's exactly what the cape so they never figured out who was now that would be should we set up a set up a sting operation this summer go back leave our doors open so that what

i think happened is it was a special needs kid and his parents figured it out that it was him and sat him down and then put in put enough like security measures in that he couldn't get out they probably like sent him somewhere all i know all i know is is someone definitely saw the sketch was like that's my son yeah and then like lock and key was like you cannot leave the house electric fence yeah yeah i don't know man dude we oh my god there were these kids uh shout out uh yeah they used to so they were way older than me i don't even think they know who i am but their mom would sub at our school and would tell us stories that uh the babysitter one time watched like they would like trap the babysitter in a tree like they were just like menaces they

used to put the dog collar on the youngest brother and drag him back and forth across the fence. That was a story I heard as well. You want to shout them out? Yeah, maybe bleep their name. I don't think they know who I am, so that would be very strange. They would put who on the... They'd put the youngest brother in the dog collar

and drag him back and forth across the electric fence. Yeah. That's traumatic. They convinced the babysitter to get up in the tree one time, and they just took the ladder down. That's on the babysitter. That one I'm not putting on the... Yeah, my babysitter, I think I've told this many times, but my babysitter used to drive us through Portland bare butt out the window,

and then the other friend would yell, it's a full moon. Whose butt would be out the window? My butt would be out the window. That's awesome. It was killer. You ever do a white whale when you're at a pool party? No. It's when you pull your, I mean, you had a really white ass.

Yeah. You'd pull your bathing suit down. And then you'd breach. Yeah, you'd breach the water. You'd go, oh, look, it's a white whale. You know what would be funny is if you could time a fart So it looked like the blowhole was like Puffing water up

I like to think some of the cooler kids have done that Alright, should we hear some Do you have a pitch? No, sorry Do you have one off the top of your head? No, it's okay It's just like Let's see, let's see, let's see

You don't have to go Let me think about it, move on I definitely got some Some docs Alright guys, let's take a minute to talk about Cash App You probably know Cash App as the place to send people money like we need to settle up with your buddies after a night out on the town? Well, we are here to tell you that Cash App actually has a lot more to offer.

Don't overlook Cash App like you were overlooked back in high school. Cash App is the place for a faster, simpler way to manage your money. You can start saving with as little as $1 as there are no minimum balance requirements. With Cash App Savings, you can get the most from your money with no hidden fees and no account fees. Cash App makes it easier for you to save money with high-yield savings, so you can save up for the things that you love, like baseball games. With overdraft coverage and security, you'll have peace of mind and can spend more time thinking about fun stuff like birds.

Cash App gives you control of your money. Get control of your money like I get control of Will when we're wrestling. Support your local community with the money you're saving on Cash App. Lauren and I went to Intelligentsia today and got some coffee and a couple croissants. Croissants. And it was yummy, and we used Cash App. It was killer.

You should have been there. Download the app and take control of your finances with Cash App. Join the millions who already manage their money with Cash App and start saving today. Make the most out of your money. It pays to get paid on Cash App. We've officially partnered with Ricky to bring you the best canned alcoholic beverage on the market. Ricky was created to finally give the world a premium spirit-based drink. Ricky is made with award-winning vodka or tequila and just a touch of thirst-quenching fruit. Each can has only 130 calories, no added sugar, and all natural fruit juices. Rickey has 7% ABV, which is a lot more than its competitors.

Each can is one and a half shots, two and a half shots in a Tallboy. That means a 12-pack is a full bottle, and a 24-pack is two full bottles. Not to mention, the price is a lot better, too. The reason it's so good is because it's real liquor and real fruit juice, and not that typical malt liquor that you see in other canned cocktails. It leaves a bad aftertaste in your mouth. Nobody likes it. This is real vodka, real tequila.

My favorite flavors are lime and lemon, but you can have cranberry, black cherry, grapefruit, watermelon, pineapple, anything. It's just a great time, and it's got a flavor for everyone. This weekend, Lauren and I are going surfing together, and the only thing better than surfing with Lauren is Ricky. So you best believe I'm bringing a pack of that lime, my brudda, and I'm going to get Ricky'd out of my gourd. It's going to be killer. head to rickyspirits.com to find out where you can get ricky near you follow at friday beers and at ricky spirits to stay up to date with upcoming ricky contests and giveaways let's get back into the episode we have the playmates right in with uh am i the assholes and we try and help them

through their story are any of them callers today we just read them i'm not gonna get on the horn of them yeah i don't they all pick up too for the most part yeah i don't think we're gonna call these people um but wait sorry give me i got a surf poncho it's kind of like a snuggie and what i like to do around the house now is just not wear anything under it so uh yesterday i put it on and then i was like i'm gonna take the boxers off and i took the box off and i didn't put another thing on uh from sunrise until sunset that's incredible can i see a picture of this thing that's not your penis and balls but wait does it have it does it have a zipper? Nope. Just au

naturel. The problem is when I'm laying in bed What's the name of it? I want to Google it. Look up like surf poncho. You know what's funny? Something similar happened to me the other day where I was just like getting ready to take a shower and I'm wearing this like big long t-shirt and for whatever reason I take off

my socks, pants, and underwear and I'm still rocking this shirt and I'm like, you know I could run to the kitchen and grab a glass of water like this and I was just like a little slut walking around in my big t-shirt and I was like I feel like such a little dainty hoe in this it's more it's closer to a snuggie

than it is this but oh like this one kinda it's that oh dude I had one of these growing up wait that's sick it's sick

I had one that was just straight up a towel no sleeves or anything with a hole in the middle of the towel and I would rock it like that and I wore it all the fucking time I'd kill for something

I feel like I feel like Marilyn Monroe after like sleeping with JFK when I'm in bed it's like it's like kinda like

it's like kinda like up it'll be like up like over my like grundle and I'm just like no one's coming in here but it's like i'm this like dirty it's a hospital gown it's like and then i ordered dude jersey mike's was doing buy one get one yesterday still are so i had that deal i had two jersey mike sandwiches i had pad thai

watched like 11 hours of breaking bad oh that's sick um and then when you like when you lie on your side like you're just like your ass is out and so i'm like this is just this is wrong i didn't shower yesterday it was like a truly like a rot day yeah that's sick it was awesome wait is the jersey mics thing only online uh doordash i postmates all right yeah let's do it okay this one is from frederick cool he says last weekend one of our friends got married and our whole friend group booked a block of hotel rooms and partnered up two people to a room one of my buddies had to work on sunday so we did not book a hotel room planning to take it easy saturday night and drive back home three hours to chicago one thing led to another and he got too drunk and

asked me if he could crash in our hotel room and of course i said yes he even offered to pay his fair share of the room but i told him not to worry about it the wedding was a blast and we all stayed up till 4 a.m which was great until an alarm went off in a room at eight i guess the friend with work intended to get up early they went they stayed up until four all went to bed and then the alarm went off someone had an alarm at eight i guess the friend with work intended to get up early and drive back home but instead he let the alarm ring for 30 seconds then snoozed it and rolled back over and this must have happened another 10 times every 15 minutes until we had to check out at 11 he would turn the alarm off and wait and fall back asleep but i'm a light

sleeper so i was wide awake from 8 a.m on am i the asshole if i venmo request him for his share of the hotel room just because i'm annoyed by his alarm yeah you're a pussy are these guys yeah tell them to say shut the fucking alarm off this is your boy say shut the fucking phone off yeah what the hell i don't get that say something well but maybe they're not as close as we think does i don't care if you're close enough to be staying in the same hotel room yeah that's true i would be like shut your fucking phone off well here's the here's the deal here's the deal you don't frame it like you're paying because of that you're just paying because we shared the room you should have you should have stood up for yourself though yeah you are a bitch and now

you're looking for money you're a beggar and a bitch my freshman yeah maybe you just use maybe use this as like a learning experience that you'd never want to feel this again my freshman year roommate same thing every morning would go off and for the first couple weeks we weren't close enough for me to like so i'd be like yo but i wouldn't i couldn't be like stern yeah and he was still kind of half asleep so you do the snooze thing all fucking morning and then once we got close enough it was just like it was like if your alarm does that like i will take your phone and turn it off yeah you just you don't even say anything all you have to go is dude yeah get the message also you're um if you're a grown man that like is doing the doing the like snooze

thing the whole time wake up like up dude there's no point going back to bed you're not going to be like more rested because of that four minutes it's so much worse if you get up right there you're like fuck it yeah i i used to be a like sleep in snooze the alarm guy now that i'm not i get like why my dad was so mad all the time about like just like not being up like be a man wake up get your day started yeah uh but no i don't i i don't i don't think you're the asshole but i think you need to stand up for yourself more but definitely don't definitely don't request him because his alarm was going off yeah request him because he offered to pay yeah and dude yeah stand up for yourself stand up for not letting everyone push you over dude i bet this is a microcosm

how's your relationship with your dad your mom siblings yeah maybe this maybe this kind of behavior is bleeding into your work life i think it's bleeding into everything dude like if if if you're you know seeing a woman and she was sleeping in that room she saw you just let that guy walk all over you like that turned off and also if you were dating a woman and you would let shit like small stuff like that slide even though it's pissing you off and you never communicate it yeah every relationship you're going to be in is going to die because you are just going to wait for them to know how you're feeling and they never will and that's a little bit of dr phil's advice there we go all right have one uh this goes for both of you because

you guys both have a significant other uh has there been anything that they have done that you told them I don't like when you do this no after all that no I'm not saying

I do it dude I'm saying that's like the route for success I'm not on that path you guys both have lovely significant others

some people have nightmare ones same we were talking about how cool yours was the other day I'd like to hang out with your boyfriend more

I've only hung out with him twice he's killer he doesn't love LA and he doesn't really like going out that's so sick we read that

i'm i'm at one table and then lauren's sitting like on the other end of my table but is more there's like a bunch of our guy friends are just like fawning over lauren she gets up to go to the bathroom or like go get a drink or something and they're all like oh my god like whatever and joe was like jack doesn't she have a boyfriend and i was like yeah and he rules like he's like they i tried to like tell him they were like fuck that sucks so bad but There were, like, six guys, like, freaking... Boost my ego even more, will ya? What'd he say?

Boost my ego even more, will ya? Yeah, it was cool. Dude, I want to be fawned over. What the hell? I haven't been fawned over in... I've never been fawned over. Nobody's ever fawned on me. A guy like me?

Yeah. I've been... No, that was dumb. Fuck, I hate myself. It's gonna be dumb. All right, should we get into the other... Yeah. No, you're not the asshole, but you gotta maybe stand up for yourself a little more.

Dude, put your nuts on the table and say, you shut that goddamn alarm off. Yeah. All right. take his phone and throw it out the window this next one is from carson i don't actually know if it's a guy or a girl i think it's a girl um i feel like we'll find out pretty yeah i'm pretty sure it's a girl basically we're in college and we have this big group of girlfriends and yes yeah i think it's a girl and yesterday our friend got married let's call her noelle none of us like her husband he is an l of a person she is beautiful he's an l of a person yeah you might be the

no no no just just wait just come on um he's an elva person she has beautiful curly hair he tells her she should always straighten her curls because if she wears her hair natural she looks like a triangle and he like wants her to do all of the cooking in their marriage he gave her this sign that said something like get excited to cook or something dumb like i said he's the worst he's sexist and not that he's still you still don't think this guy's an l no he's an l keep going but you're an l for saying that he's sexist and not that nice but i guess his texts are not that no sexist he's sexist oh yeah but i guess she loves him or something our friend noel knows we all hate him she got married and like i know girls should

support girls but i can't support her marriage with that loser so yesterday morning my friend texted noel and was like hey so excited for the wedding i hope today is great just remember that it's never too late to back out and like i get that my friend probably shouldn't have sent that because the wedding still happens so now things will be awkward between them and things will just be awk in general because i know she wishes we were more supportive but i feel like someone needed to say it i don't know do you guys think my friend is an asshole for saying that we're that and we're assholes for not being supportive i don't know what we should do moving forward No.

Your friend's not an asshole and neither are you guys. It's a tough one. How old is she? You can't say it day of, though. That was day of? She texted her on the day of her wedding. You're an asshole then. Yeah, you can't.

If you can send that, that's something you send after the engagement. I don't really get the timeline. She doesn't have specifics. That's typical. I've never been in that situation, luckily, as an adult. I mean, growing up, a few of my buddies had girlfriends that sucked or vice versa. But now, like, I have one buddy that's engaged and, like, he's fantastic. His fiancée is even better than him.

And I'm, like, great for him. Yeah, but imagine that she was the worst. And she was, like, being really, you know, sexist to him. Yeah. She wanted him to drive a big truck. Yeah. She wanted to do all the cooking. All the hunting.

Yeah, she wanted him to do all the hunting. Honestly, I don't know. That's tough. Yeah, I've never been in this situation. It's definitely, like, that's brutal. Like, what if you got married to a chick that I fucking hated and she hated me? That would stink out loud. I would just be, like, pissed.

Like, why didn't you guys vocalize this earlier? You know what I mean? Like, if someone told me on my wedding day, like, hey, by the way, we all fucking hate your fiance. I feel like you'd know, too. Actually, I don't know. Like, maybe you wouldn't know. i don't really this guy i mean the the guy sounds horrible he sounds like a piece of shit and i it

i don't think this marriage is gonna last especially if they're like young i'm imagining these cats pretty young does she look young does she look conservative um it's like a finsta there's no it's like a fake picture um i don't know i mean the the friend should have just kept her mouth shut once it got to the day of yeah you have to let him have that day but um you know all you can do now is you know beef be there for the friend when he inevitably uh lays a hand on her or something it sounds like it's going down that yeah he sounds like a bad dude it's this it sounds like his like sexism is gonna turn into like uh alcoholism and that's gonna it's usually i feel like sexism usually turns into another thing it's always it doesn't go away but it just like

manifests into other things yeah um i i again i hope that that isn't how it happens but i feel like i kind of hope it does dude i kind of hope oh no i meant more what i said i'm hoping he doesn't obviously he does not lay a hand on her but those guys the wheels are gonna fall off yes he's gonna have a big blowout at dinner it's gonna be really wagon shaking it's going down a cobblestone road he's got uh he's got speed wobbles right yeah and um it's gonna end horribly almost surely but uh you know be there for her when uh the the shit hits the fan she's in a burning house and you and your friends need to join your arms so she can fall out of the window and land safely into your i like that i like that have you guys ever thought i mean there's one way

you could fix this all you ladies get together and you do light as a feather stiff as a board and I think that might What's that? That's chicks do that when they're just like every time like it's a group of

five or more girls hanging out they do Feathers, Stiff as a Board What is it? Dude, girls do this all the time

It's like Are you fucking with me? No, it's like the equivalent of like guys being like let's shotgun girls are like let's do

Letters, Stiff as a Board Look it up, dude Look up Letters, Stiff as a Board I know what you're I've heard of this

Dude, ladies It's like a video of Lauren doing it Ladies love this shit the game is often played so can you break it down for us you might you might just see uh i mean we could do it like i'm gonna read it for the audio yeah the game is often played at sleepovers and involves a group of people lifting a person in the middle using only their fingers while chanting

the phrase the person being lifted might have their cause of death read aloud or just be told she is dead light is a feather stiff wait what light is a feather stiff as a board light is a feather stiff are you joking right now no dude look at the i've heard of this but this is not okay wait she's levitate how did she levitate it okay that's a movie wait look up videos hopefully it's an actual tutorial light as a feather stiff as a board should we do this do the middle one the second one yeah oh god is this gonna be scary no no no no dude this is just Make sure the volume's up. Perfect.

This is slides to feather stiff as a board. We're going to go like that, and we're going to try and lift him up with no special things. All right. Dad, do you want to start doing it again? Okay. This is actually filmed in Iraq.

One, two, three. All right, and now we're going to try, and we're going to all put our hands on him. with a little bit of pressure, and see how he's lifting. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. What is this accent? Not exactly what I thought was going to happen.

Wait, wait, something crazy is going to happen. All right, here we go. Here we go. they got his ass that's crazy um wait okay i feel like i've done this i used to dude i used to love this shit when i was growing up oh dude i'd be like let's play lies and feathers oh okay yeah sort of unlocking a memory i think kids now are missing out on it because they have like ipads and stuff it's cooler shit you should just run or like run out of games i remember we'd be at this one family friend's house

and they had a bunch of bungee cords and so just me and the other youngest brother would just get strapped to like a chair with the bungee cords and see how long

they'd turn off the lights off in the basement just everyone would go like upstairs we would do that we would turn all the lights off in the basement

and just have fights yeah we'd like just completely yeah you'd run around it was like moshing it was early moshing you'd be like

swinging your arms you knew like you had that in you but you hadn't discovered insane clown posse yet yeah one of the most fun things I would do with me and my boy Matt

would climb a tree and we'd have, we'd give our little brothers, both our little brothers were like three, four years younger than us and we'd give them wiffle ball bats and lacrosse sticks and we'd have to escape this tree but they would be at the base of the tree like trying to kill us from down there

and we'd have to like use strategy and be strategic about like we gotta trick one of them to come up the tree and then we gotta get down the tree, a lot of things yeah, strategy we had to use strategy

we used to there was a lot more strategy in childhood there was it was a lot of you had to think a lot more things through yeah

what was your guys' favorite like playground game did you ever play wood chips what's that who can eat the most wood chips

sounds like kids play that in Rusty's town I think one person would be on the ground like on the wood chips with their eyes closed and then you would try to like get from

like different platforms to another and then if they heard I need to cross the... Yeah, I guess. But wood chips... Pull up... Put it on three minutes just in case.

Wood chips. Wait, say that again? Put it on three minutes just in case, monkey bars. We've watched this on Twitter. I know, I just want to make sure Liam's seen it. Oh, I love this. Ow. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. favorite part about it is my favorite part about it is uh the he goes put it on three minutes just in case in his head there was a possibility that that that video was gonna have to be longer than three minutes and it was 14 seconds oh he looks up the camera

i feel like that was planned i think it felt like it i mean he fully let go is his mom filming this yep oh she films a lot of his content yeah oh there wasn't no it's not like another kid his age um oh that was that was tough um we used to play a lot of rundown what's that two guys throw a tennis ball back and forth and uh you have to make it from one side to the other without getting pegged and they just play catch until one of you guys runs we would uh we played a lot of wipeout at this playground near my house uh it was like kind of a mixture of like jackass wipeout stuff where we would just like this playground had like steps going down for a while so if you brought up a little toy truck that you could sit in you would

go down the steps and just eat shit that was a great one so it seems you guys gave it a name but in reality it was just going down it was just going down the stairs we did uh the jackass game we would play me shout out matt again shout out matt matt your your matt is my fill it feels like yes yes uh but my driveway had like a little bit of a steep incline going to the garage door and we would just take razor scooters and put on like a pillow and elbow pads and knee pads and just drive directly into my garage door yep and uh your mom probably loved that just dent the fuck my mom tells a story where she heard just these crashes happening and she was like what in the fuck is this is there an animal in the garage and she just sees me full speed coming down the

driveway she was like he's gonna bail before he hits the garage door and i just went face first in the garage door and then got up and we all clapped like ran it back i'm gonna airdrop you my this guy rocks for this week um he is a he's an artist and i just i feel like you know his oh i love this guy yeah i think his message resonates we were high school sweethearts but you had to move even though i wanted you to stay and then you told me there's another guy he just he i think i think that there should be more matter of fact singers like he's not really beating around the bush he just tells you what's going on We were ice cold sweet, I'd say good and stay

Cause you had to move away, so we tried On distance One day, you texted me to say that You wanna break up I asked why You found another guy It's just, what a classic love story. we've all been through it

that's really awesome I love it didn't Will send something from his oil painting oh yeah Will's trapped in an oil painting but he still managed to send something in he sent something for teach me something so now

oh this is my teach me something of the week here's a I'm going to pose you guys a question you try and answer it and then I will tell you the real answer when do you think was the last election that did not have a Bush, Biden, or Clinton

in it? Shit. 1984. 78. There wasn't one that year. 76. It was the last time there was an election that there wasn't a Bush, Biden, or Clinton

in it. Oh, I was right. Yeah, that makes sense. Holy shit. it was 76 yeah oh three fucking families dude that's wild

isn't that scary yeah scary stuff and we say we're not a monarchy we're an oligarchy we're an oligarchy because we say we're not markly alright should we hear

Will's teach me something on slack yeah I think Will sent one from the oil painting so this is your cracker of the week probably

seems like this is not a teach me something it seems more I think this is a this guy more likely this is a this guy rocks but let's give it a shot. So can you describe what...

So for the audio listeners, we're looking at a... Looks like a man. Yes, it's a man in a... A man in a Princess Leia like white costume and then there is a extremely pixelated R2-D2 on it.

Is it Leia or is it Padme? Who knows? That's a good question. I don't know. He has the buns on the side so maybe Leia. Help me, Obi-Wan. Yes.

You're my only hope. oh and that's it okay so I think my favorite part is that he quickly looks over his shoulder as if he's afraid

that someone's watching him or someone might enter the room so can I tell you probably what happened he went into that room in a flannel and jeans

yeah and had this costume hidden in it his entire family's outside he put it on very quickly to film this and was very nervous that someone was

going to come in nope alright Liam do you want to do you want to draft Documentaries first Or

Trends we think Are gonna be big Docs Alright I feel strongly About my docs These These are some documentaries

That don't exist Start us off Stomp Clap The Sound of a Generation It's about The first Folk band To stomp

Clap And shout Hey And And they They just cracked it And they changed They changed music forever

I love it This one's called Flying Thunder. Rodney Bracco, a man born with no arms or legs, became the most decorated Air Force drone pilot in U.S. history during the Obama administration. Now in retirement, he struggles with the weight of his actions and reflects on how it feels to end a life with the push of a button. Okay, that's crazy.

Yeah. That sounds real. You ever seen Ark Your Back? Noah originally tried to build an ark, but all the animals kept hooking up with each other, and they would get, like, these crazy monstrosities. So it would be, like, a half giraffe, half rhino. And he was, like, he had to go back to the drawing board

and make sure that they couldn't get out anymore. I like it. Thanks. This one's called Balls In Coming Down, The Daring and Emotional Tale of Brian Brenton and a Transgender 11-Year-Old Fighting for His Right to Compete in the Little League World Series. There we go.

Is it a boy becoming a girl or vice versa? It's a transgender 11-year-old boy. Okay. Leave it there. Yeah. You've just got to watch the doc. Yeah. My final one is called Skin in the Game,

and it's about the guy who created the high five. Xenu and Rometheus were fighting their gladiators, and after the big win, Xenu went to high five his buddy just out of pure passion, but Rometheus saw it and claimed that he came up with it, and then they had to go to court and figure out who owned the idea. I love that. Thanks.

Are you familiar with the documentary Grizzly Man? No. This is Grizzly Man Maverick. Okay. A sequel to a bit of a play on Top Gun and Top Gun Maverick. Grizzly Man Maverick, the sequel to Grizzly Man. Werner Herzog heads deep into the beautiful Alaskan forest to find and interview the bear that killed Timothy Treadwell and his girlfriend.

A bit of a story of nature versus nurture and a story of men failing to communicate with bears. Yeah. If you don't know Grizzly Man, dude, watch Grizzly Man. Is he good? Yeah. You might have to give it a shot. It's incredible.

It's one of the best docs you'll ever see. Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siaia, and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow, things usually get worse before they get better.

Apparently, that's how I roll. So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem I like the visual of him trying to interview the bear

yeah did it not go well you gotta watch the doc you gotta watch the doc let's just say it's a guy trying to live with bears because he thinks

the bears recognize him as one of their own yep but it turns out that they didn't they didn't recognize him no no

and they violently kill him limb limb limb from limb's gotta be one of the worst ways to get ripped I feel like yeah

so i saw a tweet the other day and it was like uh smithereens has got to be one of the worst to get blown um all right do you want to do some trends that we think are going to be big yes yes um okay these these are trends that liam and i think are going to be big this year uh shirting what's that it's like uh pantsing but you just go to people and rip their shirt over like over their head and pull it off i like that yeah uh i got one that's just Gleeking on command, training your tongue to apply pressure to your salivary glands and Gleek on command. I knew a guy like a Gleek named Thomas, and it's so gross.

What is that? It comes from under your tongue. It's like a stream of spit. Oh. So gross. Helen Kellering, whenever your buddy shouts her name, you have to cover your ears and close your eyes no matter what you're doing, and you have to count to ten as fast as you can.

So if someone does it the way you're driving, you just have to go really fast. uh i have remember the trend where people would tell their parents that uh their favorite celebrity was dead yep it's like that but you have to tell your parents that one of their close close friends from college is dead and they have to actually be dead oh you're just the bearer of bad news yes that's what it's called the bearer of bad news um mine's just half skinny half baggy jeans so they're like airtight from the knee down but then on top there's just like so much of them they're really baggy on top that sounds uh i'm trying to think of one um uh planking yep but it's uh it's got to be in a situation planking in uh an active shooter drill you're just getting

real you're getting down fire drill planking active shooter drill planking it has to be in doorways, too. You have to be in the way. Earthquake safety planking. Stuff like that. I love it. Alright. I think that was a killer playdate. Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks for coming on.

Thanks for being here. Oh, wait. We have to do whose personality. Oh, yeah. Whose personality are you going to steal this week, Liam? We can come back to you. I don't know. I want to put your ass on the fire. Fuck. Celebrity?

Yeah. Or anyone. Could be Princess Leia's. Paul Giamatti. Yeah. What's he up to? What do you think he's doing right now? Just probably reading a sick script, having great sex with someone cool.

Is he breaded now? What does that mean? Like, does he have a lot of money? He's got crazy sheets. That's so sick. He's got dozens of sheets. He has sheets? Yeah.

That's sick. It's a hockey term for a million dollars. Am I supposed to know who this is? Paul Giamatti? He was in Big Fat Liar. Oh, yep. Yep. did he just

make it all from that new movie or has he always had a lot of money dude he's yeah he's look at Paul Giamatti net worth

he's one of the biggest actors alive is that true yes what else is he in I think he's randomly in so much

billions he's in a ton of movies he's in that new Amazon movie that crushed yeah 25

Melbeth it's even more uh yeah 25 Paul Giamatti um

I'm gonna I want to steal Biden's to just give up respect hey no no i mean like i mean like just how nice would it be he's probably having an awesome week right to be like i'm not the i thought that when the remember that pope stepped down yeah i was like that'd be sick just to be like i'm gonna go i'm gonna go fucking hang out yeah this whole pope business isn't for me i'm just like i'm tired i need a i need a week to hang i need a week to kick it i need a biden week ncaa is out black is coming out this fall

i'd gotta be i think that's why biden dropped out because he knew black he was just gonna have to play black up six a ton yeah i mean he the guy probably doesn't know what planet he's on right now he's probably having a he's probably having a does he drink i i highly doubt it imagine if you just started getting fucking blackout drunk he's definitely off the pendulum right now yeah dude the pendulum frank him high he's got to be the one of the worst guys ever to be high with i feel like he wouldn't come on he would just stop talking what i feel like he wouldn't talk You'd look over and you'd be like, geyser. Lauren, whose personality are you going to say?

Oh, no. I was hoping you were going to forget about me. There's only three of us in the room, so. I never forget about you. Thanks. I just can never think of anyone. Can you assign a personality to me? Yeah, you're going to start being like.

Jeanette McCurdy. You've got to be really mean to your mom this week. Yeah. How is your mom? My mom is great. Cool. Yeah. How's Jane?

Jane's good. Sean. Great. Dad. You have a brother, Sean? Mm-hmm. Me too. Oh, you do?

And he smells it the same way as you do. I feel like we've talked about this. Probably, yeah. Because you're very Irish. I think the Seans would get along. Liam's little brother is- Wait, how old is he, Liam? 21.

My brother just turned 21. Really? Yeah. They'd get along. Last week. I don't know Sean, Lauren's brother, but your brother, Sean, is hilarious. Yeah, Sean is very- He's pretty easy to get along with, too.

Yeah, he's just a chiller. Where did he say you go to school? UMass Boston. Okay. We- D3 lacks. yeah oh hell yeah him and i've shared a couple pints cool guy yeah my brother loves you i love your brother yeah we have a good time together all right um guys oh what's everyone gonna comment

oh yeah what do you uh comment comment what do you what type of what's happening in the oil painting that will's trapped in yes um and hopefully will will be back uh the next week he should be back should be back next week uh i think they're working on getting him out so uh will we love you and we hope you're doing well um guys thank you for listening we'll see you next wednesday thanks for having me bye