Will & Rusty's Playdate - love island reaction

Episode Date: July 1, 2026

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Okay, when I sell my business, I want the best tax and investment advice. I want to help my kids, and I want to give back to the community. Ooh, then it's the vacation of a lifetime. I wonder if my head of office has a forever setting. An IG Private Wealth Advisor creates the clarity you need with plans that harmonize your business, your family, and your dreams. Get financial advice that puts you at the center. Find your advisor at IGPrivateWealth.com.

New from Nespresso, blend wellness into your coffee routine with the Coffee Plus range, infused with functional benefits. Choose the coffee you love with added B vitamins, like Coffee Plus B12 to help support immune function and Coffee Plus B6 to keep your day moving. Or go with the flow and choose Ginseng Delight, our new double espresso with ginseng extract. Whatever lies ahead, don't change your morning, let your morning change you. Discover Coffee Plus on Nespresso.com. all righty can i be honest yeah i feel i feel like i missed some sort of memo is it is it like early halloween bro might be a monster me yeah what the hell is that supposed to mean you don't know about their big run-in oh is it like minions versus monsters that's

the name of the movie yeah that's the name the monsters i could work it where who makes minions dreamworks uh illumination i work at illumination the monsters are fighting the yellow man no they do other stuff but minions is kind of like the central it's like their flagship thing i hope the monsters they play born in the usa because they got that lyrics it's like sent off to a foreign land to go and fight the yellow man you should work for them yeah i try i applied and then what the hell i got sent here which is like what the fuck is up with that i literally 30 seconds was like 30 seconds ago said i could work for illumination you said nothing and then he just said that and you were like i feel like i should work for them i think you should work for

illumination i think you have a really good idea this is like very on brand for how my afternoon is going i sat at a crosswalk for like five minutes while cars just drove by and no i was like am i fucking invisible right one right there no all the way up the hill toward you know where the church is like at the top of the hill no oh oh yeah you're like an atheist i'm an atheist i can't figure out what i walk past it every day i cannot figure out what the denomination is a doctor and a lutheran what are you a movie um she's the man close catch me if you can i was about to say catch me if you can minions versus monsters wait what is that why you're wearing that because that movie came out today the movie comes out today that this episode

releases what's the quote what like what do you think i would get fired up enough about to dress up um maybe like when trump gets re-elected yeah probably right yeah i feel like do you think i'm allowed to wear my maga hat on the pod um last time they just replaced it with yeah andrew fixed it in post i gave you that good hair day whenever you see me wearing i only own a maga hat so if any episode that you see me wearing a hat andrew is cgi'd a different hat here's an idea what if there was a cgi fridays yeah what would they serve there you think um maybe like uh terabyte tacos fried mouse here's something dnd went 45 minutes over yeah i i have nothing prepared for this podcast that's okay we might just have to riff it out today i think we do that

every oh you mean like like no pitches drafts anything like what if we just push everything until friday and we just have like a riffing it out episode i could riff it out because i'm also like we start starting so late and ben fibus is landing at 5 30 are you are you supposed to pick him up no i was about i was like you'd have to leave now now i know what are you gonna do with ben fibus i don't i don't even remember what he looks like or what stuff he likes i told you i ran into him in boston yeah yeah that was a while ago and i recognized him no i know what he looks like i he's um eight feet tall and covered in hair from head to toe this is my friend ben he's visiting so is my buddy connor oh i told you we're going to kid cuddy yes abby high and abby low

was fibus abby low with you and abby high like what the man on the five is a kid cuddy head with you yeah i mean he's like he's like um he's like my only friend that like listens to rap still got it or like in college you would like go to the playboy cardi concert kind of vibe and like do you think that's kind of a blind spot in your like friend group no i think it's a good neat he fills a good hole i've heard that about the man can fill a hole whenever i'm in boston women shouting from the rooftops for him to come back well only his girlfriend sorry what there's one woman every time shouting from the shouting from the rooftops yeah i think you know listen there's there's a lot of uh people talk a lot of people talk so much shit about me in barbershops yeah

they literally forget to get their haircut is that a kid cut a lyric no you just came up with that now you should get you should get into rapping yeah i don't really listen to rap anymore either now that i'm isn't it funny like it's it's in theory it's like music made for like grown-up working men but yet i feel like we mostly listen to it in high school i know and here's the thing i have a theory why i think it's because we we are in the car earlier now when i was listening to rap i'd be in the car at like noon that's like prime rapping time what what i was in the car way earlier then what do you mean yeah i was like i had to get to high school at like eight yeah and now i have to get to work at 10 wait when were you driving at noon during high school i usually

like i feel like i had like the mornings off in high school yeah like for you'd like stack your free periods oh we had we really had to be there i'd abcd days though you know you'd have like a different day we'd a day we should they should do that for work like like it's a b day where like all my meetings are switched around that like i get to meet with carly like i mean it kind of is like abcde day like every day is different i know but it's kind of the same like every monday of the same meetings every tuesday of the same meetings i just hate my lunch period on a days i know that's oh my god i wish my b lunch was my a lunch having b lunch yeah it's honey it's all pollen this sucks honey i've been i've been walking to lunch now where are you going alfalfa oh yeah

it's great and uh and so the no postmates thing is like getting me out of the house or the office you were postmating alfalfa no but i would just have like postmates something else like if i got alfalfa i would walk there yeah now i'm forced that's the only place i go there or i could go to the caribbean restaurant yeah but the caribbean restaurant is like a whole thing and i also feel like if someone saw me there that's different than eating lunch at alfalfa like i feel like if you're like someone saw you like from work like saw you having like a sit down like fork and lunch and like real plate or fork and like hard plate lunch does that make sense if you think if someone from work saw you eating lunch at the lunch place next door they'd be like

what the hell i think like i think like it has lunch when you are working and i know my job might be different but like i feel like this is a me thing that if you're eating off of like a hard plate with a metal utensils at like a sit-down restaurant that's like a weird thing to do yeah but i feel like cha-cha chicken's not like fully that it's like plastic utensils and like right no metal i don't know i just was like i did it once and was like this feels wrong for some reason you know but i do way worse stuff they do a fountain diet coke there yeah reef free refills yeah dude every time bring it to office and then just walk over and get a refill I've gone I've been there dozens of times the guy tells me every single time that it's BYOB

and I want to stop I know because it takes him like 15 seconds to get through it and I just want to like skip you were gonna say R weren't you I thought you were saying we are Penn State. Penns. Wicked, wicked, wicked, wicked, wicked, wicked. How did your quest go today? Oh, my God.

It was great. I'm just so exhausted. You've been D&Ding too much? The amount of Dungeons & Dragons I've played in the last two days has my head ready to melt. And also, today was all new people that had never played. So, it was like starting from scratch. You were the only vet? Yeah.

and i'm not a good player so i it was just it was a shit show can you be bad at dnd no i just like i wasn't like good enough to like really know what's happening yeah you're kind of like a tracy mcgrady kind of like role player tracy mcgrady was like a star he was a role player to me that's houston diss right yeah because you hate houston yeah fuck you why do you ever see a motherfucker from houston you say man my girlfriend would not from houston yeah i go when i see a motherfucker from houston i go so when i see a mother motherfucker from houston i go you're like a delonte west you know he's homeless now yeah not anymore right

Oh, did Mark Cuban save him? Mark Cuban saved him. Is that true? Good for Mr. West. Yeah. I think he ended up including him in the Luka trade. He's homeless in L.A. now. Yo, I was wearing a homeless guy in the Luka trade.

Way better weather. Do you think Giannis, or do you think, what's his brother's name, like Thanasis? Do you think he's going to get cut from the Bucs? Or signed by the Heat or something? I mean, my take on like your brother clearly being in the NBA because you're in the NBA or like brawny being on the lakers i'm like that's awesome but braun is so good at basketball that he gets to have his son yeah but brawny's also brawny's now kind of like decent decent yeah but like there are guys there are guys uh like udonis or not udonis has them there's some guy on

the spurs that is only he literally has played zero minutes he's only there because wemby likes him i'm trying to it's another foreign guy oh that was kind of you don't as haslam's role he was like a coach basically just taking a roster spot i don't know anyone in this draft besides harper grove harper or uh sorry boozer a cam boozer he's the only guy i recognized also there's another guy who like it looks like he's trying to tank his own or it looked like he was trying to tank his own draft stock you said they were like asking me he was like i missed all of it i was in dnd so i didn't get to watch one second of the nba draft i was like jesus christ yesterday yeah i usually watch every minute of that you are you like a huge draft guy the nba draft happened

yesterday yeah yeah dude i've been so locked into love island i had no idea who cares about nba draft i i not me this year i don't know anything who's the guy trying to tank his i don't know the uh he's gonna crank it or tank it i think he was crank he was tanking it by cranking it and i wouldn't do it he said he wasn't gonna work out and then they asked him his favorite song and it was like it had like machine gun in the title it was like is this aj de banza i think so oh he's the first overall pick i know it didn't work failed do you remember that nfl draft player who got his video leaked of him like doing a bomb yeah laramie tunsell yeah he's still in the league dude when you said when you said he was trying to like tank it by like jacking it or whatever

by cranking it i was thinking of remember that leather suit where you like uh suck all the air out yeah for a sexual thing like imagine a video the bongs attached to like the crotch yeah yeah and a video gets oh wait or just a guy who doesn't want to play for the wizards just posting hog the night before the draft that's what happened to um jamal murray a video of him getting oh getting head was on the internet and his honestly i would have drafted him higher his penis was the size of my leg actually it was it's on it was like on it was it's the length of that monitor i'm i swear the height it literally was like 16 inches long i don't think that's true do you want to pull it up it's on the internet i don't think it's that big google jamal murray penis it's like

you're gonna have to blur this it was like pretty wild sorry bing jamal murray penis it's not fair to this woman to be looking at this but it let's just get rid of take my word for it it's this it's the length of my forearm i believe you well how does he play basketball with that thing uh i think he uses his hands mostly although i've been known to have a little dribble dude whatever this like new you've like discovered this new part of you of the willy d wordplay humor that has been very fun lately hey that particular is that is a great example you know it's all about learning getting better growing as a player and here's a question wait i had something i wanted to talk about yes you mentioned what did you just

say something about love island yes the guy a guy from venice just got on it do you know him i've met him i had a beer with him one time okay because he knows he's friends with you remember that guy eric schwer that won the bachelorette that uh came in he had a mullet he was came in during the abbott kinney days we made some sketches with him no you definitely met him anyway it's him he came in we filmed some videos with him no super nice guy lived in venice had a mullet when i had a mullet and he was all i met him at jameson's he was on the bachelorette at the time they ended up winning the bachelorette and then i was hanging out with him el chucho once and he introduced me to his buddy who just had opened this coffee shop oh no sob it's like over

by louise and sabby's yeah and anyway now he's on apparently as of yesterday he's on love island he's a bomb shell yeah he's a casa boy are you watching it by yourself or with your girlfriend there's a right answer you know i'm watching it with the world and that's true you know good point i'm watching with everyone we talk about at work i talk about it with my friends i talk about with my barber so on the court i'm watching it with the world how often you get your haircut once a month really yeah i should get my haircut i should yeah wait how often do you guys get your once in a couple months. Not three times a year, but

I feel like most guys do once a month. I should. I just like him lazy. Anyway, so tell me about it. How's he doing? He's taking the easy way out, you could say. What's the easy way out?

He commits seppuku. Yeah, that's exactly what he did day one. No, he's sort of his butt. you must commit seppuku seppuku seppuku he said seppuku he's saying seppuku oh sorry go ahead he is targeting a girl that is the only single girl currently in the villa so it's basically a guarantee that he'll get into the villa after the cost wait why is that the easy are they supposed to take someone's girlfriend they're trying to are any of them there are they

boyfriend and girlfriend no but most of the girls are like pretty much like locked down are they like sleep do are most couples sleeping with each other they're sleeping in the same bed but they're not having sex they're not allowed to have sex they're they could have sex but it's kind of frowned upon because you all sleep in the same room wait why is it isn't i thought that was like the whole thing every time i've watched an episode they're like twerking on each other's faces and I mean, that's not sex, though. But you're telling me they do that, and then they're like... And then they just go to bed, yeah.

That's so odd. Last night's episode, they had an orgy. It was crazy. Like an actual orgy? Like a full orgy. Like penetrating each other? No, they weren't penetrating each other. So that's not a full orgy.

Okay, but like... That's what we call in the business a half orgy. Wait, what did they do? They were like making out with each other. They were on each other. They were grinding. They were lifting their dresses. They were doing everything up until...

All of those sounded kind of normal, except for the lifting their dreads. There's one guy. He's not involved. He's like, hey-o! Wait, I don't understand. Somebody's butts out. Are they de-incentivized from having sex? I mean, it's just frowned upon because they all sleep in the same room.

But the producers definitely want them to have sex, right? There is a house separate from the villa that if you're invited there, you can go there, and it's a private room. Invited by who? They'll say it's open, and everybody will pick one couple to send to the hideaway. And then there, they give you toys, and you can have sex there. Toys? Like sex toys?

Yeah, sex toys. No, they give them Buzz Lightyear. Wait, what? Why do they give you sex toys? So that you have sex. You don't need? You do need them. I've been doing it without it for years.

What? Almost exclusively, like 99% of the time. He's lying. Yeah, no way. Don't believe him. wait um wait i want to but aren't they the horniest people in the world and they just don't have sex well it's kind of rude they're all sleeping in the same room it doesn't i will say i've watched a little bit of it it doesn't seem like manners would be at like the top of any of

their lists on camera the whole time yeah i honestly i would say what they're doing in some of these challenges is like worse than what are the challenges uh the challenges are just like to make out and grind on each other as much like challenge is a stretch it'll be like spread your butt cheeks on nathan's nose that's exactly what it is so okay so gall is gonna lock down the only thing are there other guys that got added with him yes but like every guy is kind of there for one girl and all the girls they're all going to the single girl no no no they're all like a kind of assigned one girl because there's six girls six guys do they pick a girl do they pick guys that like to be bombshells that the girls know in real life yes that would be hilarious they know

them in real life sorry sorry sorry they they pick bombshells based on the people currently in the villas like type that they would go for in real life got it but for casa particularly casa is like a mini version of like temptation island midway through the season of love island where they go to casa more and then they bring people in to tempt them to leave their relationship yeah they separate the guys and the girls that are like currently in relationships they give them six girls six guys and they're they're supposed to like hang out with each other for the next like four days and without the without their partner present got it and then when they all come back together they're allowed to bring a guy or girl back if they want wait from casa how do they like

if the goal is to get them to like not cheat but like to like start getting with this guy how do they do it if they never have sex uh talking personalities yeah i'm confused about what you're asking like you they're not getting them to cheat they're just like giving them a chance like switch oh oh i see what you mean like temptation island how they have sex on there she feels like every other show every other show they're having sex right ah i just find it hard i thought love island was like the horny one it is the horny one are you the horniest when you're not having sex that's actually a really good point maybe they're so horny because they don't have the here's my question if they send him here to

be tempted away but this girl doesn't have anyone back at home uh she doesn't have anyone currently like she doesn't have anyone in the villa or in the show because her partner just got voted off so she's why do you get voted how do you get voted off he got voted off for being too horny and i'm not kidding about that part either what does that mean how do you get to i have like got this show completely wrong yeah you are just hung up on the sex yeah wait but like wait are we trying to learn why did he get voted off he got he got voted off because every time they brought in a new girl he would like make out with them that's the whole show and then they've every time i've seen the show but they're literally like eating each other out it was

outside of a challenge though like you can make out with people inside of a challenge but outside of a challenge if you're making out with them that's bad how do you do they vote someone off every episode uh no it's like every like three or four it's bad how do you make out with them outside of a challenge yeah because then there's like feelings involved because they have to make out with them in the challenge they're like forced how do you win um by being america's favorite couple america votes do they vote couples out they do like throughout the show but then by the end of the show there's five couples and then america will vote on their favorite couples and whoever has the most votes wins or have you been voting yeah i have every

night who are you voting for uh who who do i think like is gonna win who do you want to win Bryce and Trinity are definitely the best couple, yeah. Wait, is it... You watch it every... Sorry. Every night. It's like a rule, like the producers say you can't make out outside of a challenge?

No, you can make out outside of a challenge, but if you do, that means there's feelings involved and therefore you're kind of, in a way, cheating on your partner if you kiss someone else outside of a challenge. But that's... It feels like there's a really confusing set of rules. I mean, there's no rules, really.

So how do you get sent home if it's not against the rules? because the other villagers uh were put up to a vote villagers the people on the show yes okay there's just like people like there's like a mason and like a cobbler the weaver yeah yeah that would like that's that would be that would be all the time if you lived on you lived on love island permanently yeah and then they just this hat this happens every once in a while yeah so the villagers were put up to a vote and they had to eliminate one of three guys and they decided that makes eliminate one guy because he was the horniest the way you phrased it made it seem like the producers were like whoa no you can't make out on love island i get it now

wait why did that how do they select the three guys that they had to choose between i think you're like you're like vulnerable if you don't have a they were the least voted couple um voted on by america got it so america voted for their favorite couples in the bottom three guys in the bottom three girls were so do you think gall is just going with this girl because he knows it's his best chance to make it on the show or do you think he actually cares about her i i don't know i mean i don't know gall personally and i don't know his like type but if there was strategy involved like she would be the girl to go for is his real name gall apparently it's like he also has like a weird last name it's like t schneider or something gulthy schneider you know who works at that

coffee shop who matt from the elevator pitch really yeah and i was in there like a couple weeks ago it's kind of funny i i didn't even know he worked there i just went in to get a coffee and do some work and i go i say hi get my coffee we're chatting a little i sit down and these girls come in and they sit down on the table right next to me it's a classic coffee shop where it's like you can totally like it's like one long bench with a bunch of little tables and one chair on the other side kind of thing so basically sitting right next to this girl i could totally hear their conversation and they know it and the whole time they're like oh my god he's here like oh my god he's working like uh like i just like just go ask for his number it's like i don't know it's

just like weird like i don't know if i've ever done that like just walked up to a guy and i'm like can i get your number he's like come on he's so cute like you have to about matt from hell really yeah oh i thought you were gonna say gall no and the whole time they're like saying this and like they obviously know i can hear it but i think they're just like okay who cares if this random guy can hear it then i pack up my stuff to leave and i walk up i was like all right good to see you dude like have a good one he's like yeah it's great to catch you like i'll see you soon man like and i could see the girls go like oh fuck like he knows him oh no that's so funny so so how was your experience with gall i didn't have an interaction with gall oh well i did when i had

that beer with him at el chucho i mean i think i don't even remember his name being gall which does feel memorable but i remember my buddy eric introduced me to his buddy who had just started saba okay it was like right when it opened not long ago i have no idea don't you kind of live near there no i live in sato he's just insufferable no i'm just kidding i'm sorry i'm sorry uh i do know where you live actually fucking goes along uh we're trying to say yeah i remember have we had a a beer i think i was playing uh beat the box all right man which he's probably playing now yeah good lord he's going no you're not allowed to play beat the box oh you're right yeah what is beat the box again it's like rage cage um kind of it's like a team game though where you're

trying to get through the whole deck without flipping all the piles kind of thing what's that binder i guess new gall before love island and we were laughing about um how it's funny in la like sometimes people would just disappear and you don't hear from them for weeks and then they just pop up on a reality show you're like in any other city if somebody just like disappeared for like a month you would be like oh like i hope they're doing okay like i hope they didn't get kidnapped but like in la it's like they're probably on a reality show right now well my favorite thing is this year-long sustained reddit theory that chats on survivor have you seen this no like on the almost friday subreddit like every month there's like a where's chat post and there's always one

of the top comments is like i think he might be on it started like he could be on survivor blah blah and it's like snowballed to now i think that's like the leading the leading consensus it's almost taken as fact and can't confirm or deny cannot confirm or deny can can uh what's up with cans i feel like butts are getting bigger lately cans like soda cans no like someone's can that's so just demeaning to talk about them like that you mean like a voluptuous breastises no ass like someone's cans are no no no someone's can someone's cans are their jugs no no someone's can is their butt someone's cans are their boobs really yeah like i'm gonna kick you in the can

can you google that what about no can do that's we'll get to that in a second oh like kick the can down the road i guess that makes sense uh maybe i mean there's no way all the adults saying that when i was a kid we're talking about kicking someone in the breast or i'm gonna kick you in the can i've never heard anyone say that in my life huh a kick in the can or kick in the butt usually refers to a motivational push to stop being lazy doesn't confirm it's about your butt though what doesn't confirm that's about your butt though a kick in the can or kick in the butt i think if they're together they're synonymous no yeah but i don't even see kicking the can like it's the first thing it says

the ai thing but look at every other every other thing just says kick in the butt yeah huh but maybe they were talking about kicking have you ever played the game kick the can yeah it was awesome so much fun i could kick it so far yeah would you ever do survivor that would be my dream really do you apply every year well that's the thing is like i've never applied oh it's just a pretty funny thing to be it's like i want to win the lottery but yeah i will i would i think i would do very well do you think so yeah because i think i could present as like charming and oblivious but i would have no problem fucking someone over that's kind of spooky in a game i'm just so competitive yeah like anyone who plays games with me i mean that might be my

flaws that i don't know if i would be able to hide how competitive i've never seen you hide it but you've never had to hide it exactly i've never really been incentivized to hide it that's true would you go on love island if you weren't with if i wasn't with my girlfriend um i don't know i heard they sleep like three hours a day and they really fuck with your like circadian rhythm love island yeah isn't that wild navy seal training yeah because they want you to like go like insane and um so i also feel like they probably don't take people on podcasts anymore because there's like so much footage now that they're like worried that like some kind of like taylor frankie paul some kind of thing is gonna like get people canceled what

it's not the woman that like her was like chaining her kids to their beds no i think she like beat up her boyfriend yeah she threw a stool at him it was crazy oh oh she already felt like a whole season yeah yeah yes i uh the only time you should be throwing stool at your partner as if you're a monkey talking poop guys i want to go on temptation island with my girlfriend huh i ever just to show how strong we are i love temptation island i've never understood why you'd go they're real life couples that go on it yes there was a married couple yeah i don't get that it is it's fame it's intoxicating man mark walberg mark l walberg who's the host uh like tries to position it as this very serious thing but he's never and i love him

so much but he's never fully convinced me that there was any upside to a couple going on testing their connection yeah i would never in a million years i mean usually it's like couples that are like on their way out the door you know yeah they're like looking for any reason i guess if you know you're gonna break up with your significant other you know there are baddies that are like paid to try and get you to so you're just like i guess i could just go there we could both hook up with hot people and then go our separate ways and then never have to work at nine to five again i don't think many i don't i bet a very small percentage they get pretty strong like social media followings you think they go back to their nine to five after that yeah really because even

if you get a bunch of followers it's like that doesn't mean you're making any money from it i it's just true but these people on love island after the orgy last night i don't know if any of those people can work at nine to five yeah that's what was the orgy like viral uh no it wasn't viral but it's out there and it'll be like it'll be like kiana is a like bank teller or what you know what i mean yeah show us the orgy yeah wait and i don't understand it's it's there's an ep is it just live or is there like an actual episode every day i think it happens uh there's an episode the day after um wait it was girl on girl at one point yeah huh and how do you uh what what's kind of the did the people casting people find you or do you do you reach

out or are there are they most they're mostly like pretty like trashy right that people yeah No, I think they're pretty high-quality American citizens. I think you can be trashy and high-quality. Just maybe, like, the morals. I don't know. I guess if they're not having sex on camera, then... All right, well, I think... Was Dahl in it?

Yeah. Really? Dahl was in it. Oh, yeah. Did they tell them, like, all right, now have an orgy? no they said it was just like a free-for-all and just do as many horny things as you possibly can um until you win until you win what until you win how do you win well i don't get this fucking there's can we just drive like practice what it would be like run us through run us

through or click that click that that twitter link it's a free-for-all until you and you do an orgy until you win uh yeah is that what they're calling it now winning like i'm about to win oh fuck i winned we tied um i don't like see that doesn't make any sense to me they the producers can just be like free for all yeah and they all just start but a guy's not allowed to make out with a girl not outside of a challenge i'm so confused there's no rules i think he's just saying The girl you're partnered up with Will be mad though What if you make out with her

She's fine with that As long as you guys are coupled up Have you ever made out with your girlfriend No I wish She won't let me That would be fun You would get voted out The bombshell would be pissed

Let's try the free-for-all or just see if someone wins 3, 2, 1, go I'm gonna win is there like some sort of point system like who won there wasn't really like a drawn out point system it was kind of just like whatever the producers liked they had a little thermometer that would just go up the hornier they got for each person for each person yeah huh yeah i'm worried that they have a thermometer that gauges their horniness live who is that subjective yeah or they have like some sort of like thermometer on their penis

okay no yeah it's uh purely based on the producers yours is getting like colder somehow what penis is freezing his penis is freezing doctor doctor doctor we're losing him we're losing his penis huh um my god what are we doing i guess i'll go on yeah would you guys i mean what would happen if i've like one of us was on it uh what do you mean what would happen the podcast would explode no but they're all like the sexiest guys of all time yeah i think they i think i think i just be like i think that maybe we would there be like charm to like us yeah they've never seen a guy like us yeah there's a world where like they there's like some strategy to getting with us because they know we're not gonna leave them so they just they just get they'd couple up with

immediately yeah and they'd have to grind on me like once a week and then i'd just be like yeah they'd never seen a minion into the villa before you're going in like that i think the producers would shoot you with a shotgun what if they do that next week as part of like a promotional deal all right guys and it's time for the minion the uh the minion challenge everyone grab a banana and you know what to do and half you are monsters and half you have bananas all right guys it's monsters versus minions and it's a free-for-all and let's just say the judges are horniest wins the horniest half of them dress up like minions and half of them dress up like uh serial killer that sounds the free-for-all like first to get the horniest sounds like

a game a game like a ninth grader that sounds like some shit from the triwizard cup yeah oh my god what else are you guys watching because i oh i've been watching uh the wire the one done with breaking bad i finished up like three months you're moving through like the you're moving through like the the hits yeah i've already seen the wire actually i'm re-watching with dylan the wire is michael b jordan oh yeah oh yeah interest elba yes um yeah that's pretty much it oh i'm just watching soccer out the wazoo are you excited for your game i am really excited i'm coming around on the game tomorrow it's no stakes yeah but that's makes it more of just like

a fun party i'm excited to go with my girlfriend lauren hoagland yeah yeah it's gonna be exciting andrew thoughts i would love to go to a world cup game i'm actually really bummed i'm not going to one because like when's the next time it's ever going to be here probably not in our lifetimes right well this is the second one in the last like 30 years i've ever been in the city we live in though i bet we get another one yeah you're right well maybe not in this like i don't know where i'll be living next time it comes and i don't know if it'll be i feel like it's in like every city like kansas city is hosting games yeah they got a fucking they're like the soccer capital of the world yeah sporting kansas city has won 18 mls cups in a row no they have we will also win

the only 17 sporting kc'd your ass we're gonna win a world the u.s will probably win a world cup in our lifetime i think sick that's what landon nodding said he said next 40 to 50 years i mean it's just like a numbers game we just have so many more people we're also just getting we're getting we're like more good athletes are are picking soccer is there that's where i heard are like you 18 kids are the best are like some of the best in the world yeah i mean we'll see i i'll believe when i see it but they saw that mbappe money and they started going didn't he make like 600 million or something in his last contract there are a couple of them that like like messi i think became a billionaire because like apple paid him you know who made

more than 600 million on his last contract ronaldo you juan soto he actually got 600 million you're almost friday almost 800 million do you think that that was wise yeah I mean he's been an MVP level player the last every year he's been a Met the rest of the team has just been horrible but he's totally lived up to the expectations

but like I don't know we have unlimited money but if the rest of the team is horrible wouldn't some of the oh there's no salary cap in baseball and we have our owners worth 15 billion dollars so yeah 15 billion dollars what does he do

uh he runs like a like a hedge fund yeah oh he still does yeah that's sick imagine like your boss owning the mets yeah i mean i mean i don't know i'm sure he's not like going into the office every day at this point but also it's like if i owned a hedge fund i would only invest in the youth good game stop would be mine i'd only invest in the youth what schools textbooks i just field trips recitals recitals everything anything they need little league yeah i'd pay off all the little league umps to play to coach a fair game like a carnival game get out of here man go go do the ring toss remember last episode when you were saying how they have like signs out there they're like to little league parents are like

we're not giving out any scholarships what if you as a billionaire were like giving out scholarships i'd go games i'd go and be like just a heads up there's there are four scholarships on the line today just to like create and then you film it like a reality style show like the parent fight and then at the end i'd go parents free for all yeah and that would be a fun reality show it's like they rig a literally game to have like a huge controversy happen just to like capture the fighting i i would watch i like the idea of a little league do you remember that uh that that little like little league football like pop warner football reality show in like houston or something no oh last chance you no it was like it was like legitimately like quarterback children no it was

children they're like they're like seven or eight years old it was awesome oh my god was that that qb show drive to survive it was drive to survive it's not saying that we're driving to survive last chance you can you can you be honest is your name even rusty featherstone no no fucking knew it you're a fraud man you're a frog no no i think i wrote something in my notes app maybe i should look at that oh like to talk about yeah nice friday night tykes and there's this guy named dion lot or ty lot dion lot who was like the main on lot i want to say his name was a lot

doesn't make any sense or just do lot l-o-t-t yeah this kid was like the goat tady on tady on tady on lot oh let's see what he's up to now yeah what is he oh he looks like he's still a child that seems like impossible where are they now where are they now the smallest player on friday night tykes tady on lot during his time on the show tady on lot became a fan favorite as he was the smallest player but the fastest and during his time on friday night tykes tady on lot mostly played for the colts but also played a small stint with judson And what's crazy is he actually played with Lucas Coleon Judson who had become an extremely sought after four-star college football recruit and currently plays for Houston. But anyways,

Tatian Lott was an amazing player on the show and this followed him throughout his high school football career. He was never the biggest player in high school or even in Friday night likes, but he had the biggest heart. And for high school football, he actually stayed in San Antonio, Texas and played for East Central. And during his time in high school football, he would stay at running back and also made the varsity team as a sophomore. And this is a pretty big deal is he was extremely small just five feet yeah i hate when teams are named two different directions east central what does that mean that's a good point well not totally because they can like the one is modifying the other it's like northwest they're not like conflicting

directions they're my west east west would be stupid yeah do you remember did you guys see that video did you have that video go around your high school and the caption was like girls from central do you know what i'm talking about really do you know what i'm talking about yeah and the dog is the dog yeah oh oh yeah we've talked about it before really yeah oh you love that i did love that i remember thinking it was very odd did you have a central high school like no that's what like we couldn't figure it out but it was it was everyone's cousin's friend yeah it was like yes exactly it was like look what look what like yeah my buddy brother's college roommate sent him yeah did you ever see um there was a video there it was like a girl in i want to say nashville

and they were doing like man on the street type shit and they asked about like like how to like perform in bed or whatever oh no no it was uh it was what's a move that makes a man go crazy i think okay yeah have you seen this no and she's like um fuck i'm blanking i don't remember wait say it i like the can't even remember spit spit on it spit on no did she actually i don't know what spit on it spit on that on that huh huh hung hung hung do you think she would have made as much money if she said hung to her dad do you know you remember that video you sent me what it yeah the yeah that one do you remember what uh what did she said hung

honk my balls just started itch honk honk yeah i don't know huh huh is this something we could like google or is it here you know called jack martin hey jack uh we are live on the pod right now i we i was trying to tell them about that video you sent me of that girl in nashville and i want to say she said like hong hong hong i yeah anyway i couldn't couldn't remember the one where he's like what's what is it what is the craziest what's a move that makes what's a move that makes a man goes crazy and she's just like hong hong hong anyway all right love you dude i'd love to get to the bottom it sounds like an awesome it sounds so good

yeah i feel like yeah yeah it's gonna it's one of those things that i'll just not be able to get on my head if we dwell on it yeah what's the deal with romaine lettuce versus iceberg where that other color lettuce coming from or is that just like a different plant totally wait what what's the difference the hell was that all about where did that come from i don't know man i'm fucking trying to make this podcast successful and you're dragging me down into the mud that was the lettuce that you're like the more lettuce talk i do the more successful dream give me your dream salad this is real give me a dream salad you get five ingredients to make a dream salad i'd go iceberg okay i'd go apples okay i'd go

walnuts yep i'd go golden raisins oh crazy move with five this is what my mom you have one thing left i and then i do the the i do uh i think it's either white wine vinegar or like apple cider vinegar just vinegar as the dressing it's really good i mean it does sound good but i don't like golden raisins so much i would go i could for the record i thought maybe that was my third i think i did the math wrong if i in hindsight i might have added like a protein like a chicken or something okay instead of golden raisins you don't know let's stick with the golden raisins just take your guns i would go arugula okay strawberries you love strawberries and like feta goat cheese yeah i would go arugula strawberries goat cheese

grilled chicken and a balsamic vinaigrette i kind of nailed mine today i went you got a salad alfalfa mix apples a hard-boiled egg carrots a hard-boiled egg yeah i love hard-boiled eggs i put hard boiled eggs in my pasta and i just realized i was just told that that's not a thing anyone else does i've never done that our family does that and oh i think we were i think i'm the one who told you that huh yeah i was gonna pull up the orgy are we allowed to show this on youtube we'll see we'll see what happens please all gather in the center for the final showdown They're like, it's the butterfly. Yeah, what?

Wait for the drone shot. Honestly, I think the girls are just really giving all those guys at the villa what we should have been getting. And Drago, aren't they like kind of trashy? And you were like, no. My mouth, my tongue, my feet, my butt. Oh, okay. I don't know what got into me. I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.

Please just get past that part. What the fuck? There's people on the ground, people going back and forth, kissing each other. I'm like, I fear it's getting twisted. I've never even been one-tenth this horny. They all look like ravenous. They're trying to win the challenge.

It was so crazy. Do they all have to be on that circle? Andrew they trash you how did someone win that they were all doing the same thing guess what they get if they win though million dollars nothing What there's nothing they don't get anything to win if they win the show if no no no if they win the show they get 100k so they split it if they were like freestyle just like but this challenge in particular they won nothing for doing that style points flair points getting oh my god andrew what the hell was that i was hottest thing i've ever seen i'm gonna be honest that that was awesome that did

it for me i just can't believe what's the point of like bouncing on each other when you're all fully gloved to win the challenge but there's no pride they're obviously doing it because they're horny i'd like to see willie's competitive ass in love island yeah oh my god competitive ass yeah i like it he goes the category's freestyle like there would have been any other they all knew immediately what to do wait is that is that the guy uh no that's not gall but gall was gall was in there i my close personal friend yeah i don't know if i want to see gal doing doing tricks on it oh my god that is like awesome also the ladies were making out with each other were any guys kissing each other i don't think so here's gal is that his girl yeah chat because if you

squint. What do you need to know? Why are you single? Now I'm grilling you. Oh, God. I think I'm waiting to find someone who I'm, like, obsessed with. Yeah. I know obsession is, like, unhealthy or whatever, but, like, I like being obsessed with someone. This is so weird. I feel like we're, like,

spying on a guy you know. Is this yesterday? Yeah, I mean, this is, like, one of my best friends. We had that one beer. Yeah. I don't really remember it. If you were, like... This is yesterday. Someone's coming over, and you want to, like, impress them. Probably, like... But not, like, something too extravagant what do you make it that dress is fucking crazy i didn't even see how to get her face oh my god i want to like impress them all right why'd you rewind and pause it all right

i'm going to the bathroom unrelated i'm going to the bathroom gals flannel and that is awesome you know all the rage the rave these days has been about america's turning 250 yes uh i knew a guy who turned 250 once really old but Mountain Dew and ourselves were pretty excited about this and we wanted to go back into the history books and tell you a few of our stories about times that we felt most American like can I start please there was a time when I was a little kid and I went into the foothills of Appalachia because I lost my wallet and I was looking for my wallet in the foothills of appalachia and what do i come across bald eagle featherless what's more american than that bald eagle no feathers sipping a mountain dew he takes one sip feathers all grow

back fly straight to the state capitol building and signed and signed the declaration of independence that happened that's a lot of people don't know that that happened left out of the history and i never got my wallet back but i didn't care did i ever tell you about me did i ever tell you tell me our annual bear riding contest no in maine this is a real thing we'd go into the woods cover ourselves in honey and you'd think it would be racing like on the bears it was whoever could get the furthest away from the bear before it got you you trust me you wanted you did not want to come in last oh no i know i know because if you came in last then you you didn't get to have an ice cold mountain dew no i know well and the bear would eat you oh it keeps getting worse

and the and the bear was on top of a grape well that is american cheers to that cheers to the usa cheers to mountain dew sa and our country and Mountain Dew and Mountain Dew Zero our country guys it is officially

summer season and let me tell you I don't know about your cooler but mine is stocked with ice cold Mountain Dew guys this summer is packed you guys are the first people to hear this

next Friday I'm having family reunion in Ohio I think I roll up with a case of Mountain Dew put everyone give everyone a Mountain Dew we all cheers it and as we do it we say I love you family guys Mountain Dew was proudly born in the foothills of Tennessee back in 1948 it's an American original and it and it has been tasting great since when Willie 48 48 nothing goes better with your summer and hanging with your friends than in than a cold Mountain Dew. I'm talking cookouts, boat days, fishing trips, watching the big game days out

on the river. Dew is part of the moment. So guys, do me a favor. Enjoy the refreshing citrus cake of Mountain Dew, an American original tasting great since 48. Guys, this episode is brought to you by Lucy. Lucy is the official pouch partner of Almost Friday premium 100% tobacco-free nicotine pouches made for true pouch connoisseurs lucy pouches and lucy breakers deliver long lasting flavor for a seriously satisfying pouch experience i actually have a mint eight milligram breaker in right now i use are you calling them m8bs i think did i hear you say that oh mint eight breaker like weren't you like if i'm in a pinch lucy m8bs i'm trying to get that to catch on do you think that could work i don't think it's gonna but guys lucy breakers

will catch on they have caught on i use them for focus for energy to relax i use them while i'm having a couple beers we got an office vending machine stocked full of these puppies and not for long the way these these freaking lucy hounds freaking get their mitts on them like a freak lucy lucy is the obvious choice for the true nicotine pouch connoisseur and that's why they're the official nicotine pouch partner of almost friday lucy pouches go up to 12 milligrams in strength and have a unique shape that feels great remind you of anyone yeah you buddy uh lucy breakers are nicotine pouches with an extra surprise each pouch holds a hydrating capsule that you crack with your teeth for an instant burst of long-lasting flavor remind you of anyone yes you

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is an addictive chemical let's get back into the episode i have a bone to i have a bone to oh my god oh my god what my parent my parents just hit an antelope in maine in montana my parents are montana right now and they just with their fist or their car their car they drove into an antelope is it dead oh my god are you looking at photos antelope is dead let me see oh my god once again i just really got a moment they hit an antelope like what the fuck even is that it's next to a reindeer yeah oh my god sam text you you guys are not gonna believe this i just hit a unicorn with my city bike yeah oh my god i just hit a meerkat um that was good andrew i liked that sorry wait

You said cantaloupe or antelope? They hit a cantaloupe. Did you Google cantaloupe? Yeah, I did. Wait, sorry. I was going to try to send you this picture. Is it of a dead antelope? No, it's of the antelope hair in the grill of the car.

Jesus, man. Is that fucked up? The hair feels like insane. How fast did they hit it? I mean, they must have been cruising. Hitting an antelope feels like that might be like a endangered. what the fuck I'm sending this picture to Mr. Beer

right now I've hit a couple deer before I've been in the car for a couple deer hits but I've never hit an antelope I've never even seen an antelope imagine the first time you see an antelope is when you run it over I mean I'm sure that is exactly what just happened

okay I just slacked you to Mr. Beer that is insane is this it? Is that like a sturgeon? I think it is, actually. That's weird. Oh, my God. I don't know how I pictured it.

Hang on, this doesn't work for us. I can't believe how excited I got. And then you just ripped the rug out from under me. It's so gross. I'm so tired of seeing it. All right, there's the envelope. Hair. Oh, my God.

They must have smoked that thing. Damn. Yeah, to get it without any blood, too, is pretty wild. Look at the bottom. I mean, like, the car is not covered in blood on it. Or I guess the license plate has some blood on it. Yeah, why do you guys have Montana license plates? It's a rental.

They're at a wedding in Montana right now. With Kanye? I want to be like Kanye. I was invited. To the wedding? Yeah, but who's getting married? Rachel Henningkamp. Which, of course, is...

my old babysitter yes did you have a crush on her I did I used to you didn't want to go because you were jealous yeah exactly no apparently I was like a tiny baby when she was like I don't remember it at all yeah but apparently I used to say I want Rachel to wipe my bottom like even like at our house like I would be like I was like obsessed with her she was like yeah there was a girl she wasn't in my year but at our kindergarten she was in my sister's year yeah and there was one bathroom so it's kind of like one like play area and then there was like a one toilet bathroom whatever sure my sister said and my mom will back this up that there was one girl they were all old enough they like probably should have been wiping or like they would know how to wipe or if they

didn't i don't know this one girl only wanted the guy to wipe her butt and so she would go mark i ready to wipe wait the guy was who like you just like worked there at the daycare yeah or the kindergarten it was like a three-year kid like it was ripe dump leading up leading up to first grade so whatever that is kindergarten preschool preschool kindergarten kindergarten um i walked past nate don levy don levy uh and he on his computer he's making a thumbnail that just says chick-fil-a lost question mark exclamation point i was like i was kind of in a rush to get back here but i was like i have to know like what is that he was like dude they voted apparently chick-fil-a lost to jersey mike's in the best fast food in america that jersey mike's isn't

even the best sub what i disagree jersey mike's is definitely the best sub better than jimmy johns I know you love Jimmy John's, so I don't expect us to come to agreement on this. Do you like Jimmy John's at least? Yeah. Okay. I just, I love Jersey, like Club Sub from Jersey Mike's does it like, does it like a motherfucker, does it like a motherfucker. I just don't like the bread.

The bread is what gets me. I don't like the bread. I like the bread. I don't like that fucking styrofoam ass shit you'd be eating at Jimmy John's. Oh, Jimmy John's, the bread's the best part. Oh God. Our boss is here. Don't say anything bad.

Sam walks in. He's like, how much are we paying these guys? You're talking about Jersey Mike's? Jersey Mike's or Jimmy John's, Sam? They're such different sandwiches. That's a good point. That actually is a pretty good point. Apples to oranges.

Here's the thing. They're still pretty comparable in the grand scheme of things, I would say. If I want a hot sandwich, I'm fine with Jersey Mike's because I don't think Jimmy John's does hot sandwiches. But if I want a BLT with easy salami, you know where I'm going, buddy. I agree with that. I've told you this before and I've told you this again. I would order. i was my house was like four minutes away from my car where i parked my car in college i would

order jimmy john's the second class was over in college and it was waiting on my doorstep when i got home it's freaky fast it is freaky fast but that's in my i'm assuming we're talking about the quality of the sandwich also jersey mike's doesn't take long either i don't know i also live around the corner of my jersey mike so maybe i'm it's like do you know what my friend kai's steak and cheese oh open it up crumble cool ranch Doritos in there close it back up that does sound good that's the kind of shit you could just eat when you were a kid

yeah like that was just an acceptable thing you could eat and be fine that was the thing you'd eat before like lacrosse practice I know now that would like take me out for three days I was thinking about like how poorly all of us ate in college and we looked awesome yeah I mean I had the tightest ass I've ever

hat i would come home from class and i would eat like glass or class glass i'd come home from glass and i would eat like two chick-fil-a sandwiches a fry and a large coke and then we'd go out and have 20 beers and you'd wake up and lost weight i miss uh i don't know if i would yeah no but kind of i miss that aspect of like there was it was lawless it was the lord of the flies i just wish i could go back or be with my teammates one last time yeah walk in that arena one more time going out to eat do you remember that guy you know where he went to school bc yeah i actually i understood what he was saying i know i know people were giving him shows like that which is like funny because you're not what you're expecting him to say that's like that's like if they if they did a

that's what i would have said if they get like a post a press conference for non-athletes going out for beers going up just sobbing i was so sad the day we graduated i was like not at all but that was my own thing i had going on i was kind of dealing with my own thing there i was having on my original yeah what were we talking about is there a bug on that flower on the tv i'm getting a call all right dude we have boy pete tarling and i have boys night on the 29th on the 30th and he has been calling me nonstop. What are you going to do, bowling? Yeah, bowling and then B-dubs.

Every boys' night is bowling B-dubs ice cream. That sounds perfect. But he can't have. He called me the other day, and he was like. For our listeners at home, has Down syndrome? He hadn't. Got it. He just beat it?

He beat it. First guy ever. And he is severely lactose intolerant. like he makes what i have look like a fucking walk in the yeah and he stays strapped with like i could have sworn he had something else i feel like i might have made that joke before that's what he has um but he called me the other day and he was like no cheese curds on boys night right and i was like i'm gonna have some but like you don't have to and he was like at b-dubs they have cheese curds you've never had b-dubs cheese curds no oh my god i've only ever had cheese curds like

when i'm in the midwest i don't even know you get it other places b-dubs cheese curds are a next level snack okay but like clear the rest of your weekend next level ass it is like it is a pain you've if you have if you have if you give me 12 asian zing boneless wings and a handful of cheese kurds i mean like if i committed murder you could keep me at home instead of taking me to jail and just make me eat that every day and i'd be more immobile i'd have less freedom it'd be like house arrest i'd be bathroom arrest i literally will be in there ass arrest i'd be on ass arrest he's on ass arrest it is it is a type of pain that i hope no one has to experience again i'm sorry that you falvo and i and i do it to myself like twice a year every boy's night i do i mean i think there's

a few like ways you kind of have to hurt yourself a few times a year just to remember what it feels like yeah it's like when you're sick all you want to do is not when you can't breathe out of your nose all you want to do is breathe out of your nose like i appreciate my ass not stinging like a hornet everyone let's do that right now everyone who can breathe cleanly through the nose my nose is stuffed up right now really no Everyone who doesn't have a sore throat Give it a Everyone whose ears aren't full of gunk

Give me a Remember we had an ear infection At Epcot Did I not tell you that Oh yeah it looked nasty It was like brutal Oh my god It was like the color of Andrew's shirt

Everyone who can walk Now that one just feels like taunting because that's also if someone can't walk there's some playmate that's like jesus christ i'm just i'm minding my own fucking business sorry hand up hand up that one's on me all right i'm i'm gonna be honest i do my buddy is landing at the airport in five minutes so i gotta get home because if he beats me home that's sort of an issue but i want to say this i'm sorry that this is a short episode. Have a great Wednesday. Have a great weekend. We will see you bright and early on Monday. Peace out, guys. Love you.