Will & Rusty's Playdate - Milkshake Attack

Episode Date: May 15, 2024

Will survives a milkshake attack, Rusty has a bad experience at Starbucks, and the boys field some of their most baller callers to date. Lauren clicks on the mouse so much that the boys have a freak out. They draft Stephen King books that don’t exist and predict the biggest baby names of 2025. FOLLOW OUR SOCIALS: https://www.flowcode.com/page/playdatepod HEAD TO http://www.drinktriple.com/PLAYDATE TO GET 10% OFF THE ORIGINAL HIGH SELTZER USING CODE: PLAYDATE. 0% HANGOVER, 100% SOCIAL. VISIT www.withyotta.com/PLAYDATE TO DOWNLOAD AND START PLAYING. USE PROMO CODE PLAYDATE TO GET A FREE BONUS TODAY! YOUR SUMMER WARDROBE AWAITS! GET 20% OFF @CHUBBIES WITH THE CODE PLAYDATE AT https://www.chubbiesshorts.com/PLAYDATE #chubbiespod (00:00) Intro (03:12) What Would Will Do? (08:49) Spilling Tea (11:25) Attacked by Milkshakes (17:19) Happy Birthday Rust (21:51) Roadmap (23:31) Pitch Submissions (27:40) Slides (33:07) Gym Class (40:52) Pitches (52:43) AITA (01:04:39) Slashing your Ex’s Tires (01:15:59) This Guy Rocks (01:21:27) Teach Me Something! (01:29:31) Biggest Baby Names of 2025 (01:32:01) Stephen King Books that Don’t Exist (01:47:37) Whose Personality are you Stealing? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Calculating route to avoid seeing poverty. Turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street. Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away. Then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention.

Donate today at UnitedWayGT.org. In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary. Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at CadillacCanada.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian New Vehicle total registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury.

As always, Playdate Pod is brought to you by Triple, the original high seltzer, redefining the party landscape. Where do the good squirrels go to find an acorn to eat? It's killer. I mean, that's killer. I'm starting off this morning piping hot. welcome back plate it pod episode 37 37 we're on our test oh is he 37 yeah i i gotta admit you were you were like you had five in a row so i started googling them i googled it will and i will and i were just downstairs and on mondays the on mondays the cleaning people come and usually we record later in the day but i have to leave and so we're doing it early in the morning and and i was talking to lauren i'm

like should we tell like the cleaning people not to vacuum up here like it's gonna be loud and and she's like yeah and so we go downstairs and will and i are like what is lauren you're clicking i know i know lauren's having a fucking frenzy on the i can't focus on anything you're saying this is a good story what are you doing i was trying to start the screen recording oh my god like that's crazy i heard the i heard the clicks but i was like she's got to be she's got to be like close to finishing she's got one more click i looked over you're still just on the google home page what could you possibly have the mouse clicked

like 45 times i'm trying to start the screen recording it's not working just started i'm trying to figure it out it's like person person who who like doesn't have anything to do while podcasting he's playing an episode of our podcast no no i'm not oh man it's i'm sorry it's actually didn't like fully register with me until you pointed out there were there were a hundred i hope the mic picked that up there were a hundred clicks i was like a child pretending to be a podcast producer i was clicking just clicking over and over i don't know what's going on and normally just i'm sorry okay oh oh oh i figured it out i got it i was just like this story rocks and i just can't even focus so so will and i get on stairs and the cleaning people are down there

and and will is like uh hey we're gonna be recording a podcast up there like um is there any chance you guys could just like not vacuum upstairs and they were like yeah for sure and then she goes um she was like it still might be pretty loud if we vacuum down here and will and i were like yeah you guys can just take you guys can just take the day off from vacuuming we're not at liberty to make the whole office we don't vacuum don't vacuum the oven they reacted like they lost their fucking model they literally were jumping i'm like yeah no vacuum it was all it actually felt great i want to start doing that more like if i get here first just be like hey you guys don't worry about this room yeah don't worry about it it was like

it made me feel like i used to clean pools and like like we'd show up sometimes and you could tell they had like a barbecue or a pool party later yeah and so they'd be like yeah just like clean it but like you don't need to like put any of the chemicals in and we just like yeah done don't worry about it yeah okay i'm pretty stoked i have a secret i have a secret segment that i wanted great i wanted to play with will because i was driving home with skyler i know if you're not familiar with skyler he's a guy he's a guy that we work with he's he's lovely but he's just always doing shit yeah never not doing anything and um it made me think of like i wonder how will would have responded to these things and then i started writing down other things that happened

to me i just i'm gonna give you i think we're gonna call it will's what would will do what would will do wwd wwd sorry there's cayenne there's coffee at the local coffee shop they put cayenne on top they put paprika wait last time i ordered one of those they made it hot automatically was that yeah you have to say i i know tragic it happened to me once i got fucked yeah my whole day i got no i was so mad um all right what would will do okay you're at starbucks this actually happened you're at starbucks you order your coffee and the barista is talking to her boyfriend for 15 minutes and has showed no signs that she will start making your coffee anytime soon how would you talk to her boyfriend on the phone no no he's there he's

not ordered anything he's sitting at the part where they deliver your drinks and they are just cutting up a storm that's not what i'm saying realistically i would walk i would really try hard to make eye contact with her i would walk in a way that where she like couldn't avoid looking at me yeah but i wouldn't say anything because i'm terrified of people in to make it worse all i asked for was a water yeah that is crazy like i needed a water and then my breakfast sandwich was ready and it was in her hand and she was talking to her boyfriend for like yeah were there no other baristas there there was but he was like doing other shit he was like completely dialed dialed in yeah and like taking well maybe she's just the ringer upper and he makes the drinks

it's probably the setup but if it's just a water she should be able to execute there yeah so you're not doing you're just hoping she notices you yeah but i'll move i'll i'll like make it i'll make my like i'll move my arms and stuff if i have to all right you're on a road trip okay like three great songs in a row yeah but your your road trip partner is like kind of making it all about him and like singing the songs louder than the than the actual song he's like adding ad-libs to it and it's just a fucking mess how are you are you saying anything well you know i'm a singer yeah but you do it respectfully yeah ad libs across the line i think ad libs is where i draw the line so i think what i would do is i would say shut the fuck up probably okay if it's just singing

i can deal with that ad libs where i go on yeah or i'd sing louder than them so they i can't hear them this one's not really like how how would you react but more just like does this bug you because it bugs me okay you're on the highway yeah you have the directions on your phone and the passenger is clearly looking at your phone because in a way that makes it is implying like i don't trust that you're gonna that you're paying attention like but like i'm clearly i haven't made a wrong turn yet yeah but they keep like peeking at the phone and like but over and over again over and over again not not like once or twice like every 30 seconds looking at it yeah yeah i that is annoying i think that being said i've also driven with you before and i'm not saying like you're a good driver but

like i remember that exact thing happened like one time i like told you i was like up on the left here and you're like yeah i know and then the very next turn you just completely missed and i was like you know what i mean like once you start once you lose the trust but i agree yeah you gotta have some baseline level of trust okay and ours was like a residential context where i don't even think we had our phones out it was just like we knew it was like getting to my house or something yeah i remember it was we were at the light and you were like turn right here and i was like i got it yeah and then i clearly would have missed your road if you didn't exactly yeah it was exactly that so i i have a little sympathy but i think it's annoying i agree okay same vein yeah you're

driving let's say we're like merging or doing anything like they're looking they're like looking to make sure cars aren't coming like i don't fucking like i'm just gonna pull out into traffic if they weren't i hate that it's the most annoying thing but i also sometimes do it i do it too but the way skylar was doing it was fucking pissing me off it was every turn me and me and troy like actually got in an argument about this i it was me i was being such a snob and he was like you can't do that and i didn't understand that that was so annoying you were in the passenger seat yeah and he was trying to get off and i was like go like just get over and then we actually got an argument i was like fuck it was not cool but skylar was like

his hand might as well have been on my leg to like look over it was pissing me off yeah I mean I feel like I command such a presence when I drive

that no one would dare like everyone has more confidence in my ability than theirs but if it was one of you guys I would definitely do that this one's again

probably not like a what would Will do but I just kind of want your guys opinion on it this is a new segment it's just like I don't know things

yes stuff this is the last one this is the last one no I like this it's fun yeah I got a new face lotion and when it got to me

it has a tint in it. Is that stupid? What's a tint mean? Like when I put it on it looks like I have foundation on my face and then it dries and it looks normal.

Wait, what's the brand? Cetaphil. Oh. I mean, is it noticeable? I'm wearing it right now. Well, I feel like it just makes your skin look more smooth

and all together. Thank you. Yeah. I think it's fine. I know we're not really a gossip podcast but a juicy piece of gossip just came across my desk.

Okay. so um have you guys been seeing i don't really know if i even want to like open this can of worms but um hamilton have you seen like dave porno i got that new girlfriend that's like i don't know like yeah blonde they got like spotted at the celtics i did see this yep so i saw the clip and i was like oh like i was as curious as everyone else being like who is this i know but no bunch of people that follow her so oh she's from hopkinton yeah she's from boston or whatever we're like doxing this and i clicked on her profile and it says follow back and so i'm like that's pretty cool no way and then i check a week later she's on ever since it came out she

unfollowed like a bunch of people and i was one of them he unfollowed you unfollowed me i'm so bummed about it damn wait so she's like our age she's i think she's like 24 25 yeah damn yeah that is crazy actually i just like you didn't follow her back and she just went and unfollowed She was private, so it was like, it would have been weird if like, because the only time I heard about her was after the thing came out, so it would be like way weirder if I had heard about this and was like, oh, now I'm going to follow this person. You had your chance. Yeah, you could have good scoop if you had followed back earlier.

I know. How old is Dave Portnoy? 47. How do you know that? Not, he's that old. Look it up. Look it up. That's not that old.

No, I just, I thought he was like in his. I think it's that. Only because I was just reading an article about this because I saw that. Oh, wow. Oh, you were just reading the article. I was just reading the article specifically about this dynamic with this new girl. Did you see the clip on... He was married?

No, I saw... It wasn't an article. It was the clip on Alex Cooper. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was like, you like younger girls. Yeah. And I mean, I feel like you got to just own it. Like, it's whatever.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being... It's a little weird, but like... No, it's fine. Whatever. I don't know. I think, like, what would you do? I'm like, I don't blame him. i guess wait what would you mean what would you do like if you were him if that probably the exact

same thing you were in a position where like attractive young i mean okay like 25 year old women were interested in you 17 year olds i feel like there's a big difference between 25 and like 21 i i would like to think i don't know i'm not there yet but i don't know your your brain i feel like develops so much i agree i agree 21 is crazy yeah i mean that's just a made-up 21 is insane but 25 yeah um i dude you know what happened to me tell me maybe it could be a what would russie do but i was me all right i'll give you this i'll set the scene because i got attacked by milkshakes there's the there's the hook and now i'll rewind and tell you how i got there me ben fibus evan ho and water we're hanging out for the record for the record i get i get

shit for my friends having made up names not neither i if i didn't know both of those people's names ahead of time i'd be like made those people hone in water evan ho in water ho in water yeah we had a ho in water pool party one time at my house my dad used to call him aqueous prostitute oh nice that's good oh in water get it anyway i get it shout out evan ho in water um he me evan hornwater and ben fibus we got mario super strikers and chinese food on saturday night it was a great night lethal combo yeah it was unreal it was an all-timer what's a mario super striker it's a video game it's a soccer video game i got on my switch i bought it nice i invested in it uh so we just we ordered from this place we could walk to and we're walking to get chinese

food we're on pacific if you know it if you don't just imagine a street we're walking down we're not walking down the sidewalk and there's like a like right next to us and we we all turn like whoa what was that and as we're trying to figure out like what just smacked down in front of us a second milkshake flies oh it comes from over our heads and lands right in the street like splattered and so we're all like whoa whoa and like once once there's a second milkshake you would you kind of are assuming there's going to be a third yeah like it feels like this is a full blown onslaught one one one's a coincidence two's a trend yeah two's a two's a fucking war zone so we're we're like putting our hands over our heads and like running down the side we're like whoa

and looking up there's no i couldn't figure out where none of the windows in that building were open so it means someone was either on the roof or threw a milkshake from the other side of that house or maybe someone was driving by in a car and like threw it all the way up like twice i don't know through this they did that no they had the one where in dodgeball where you lob one and then distract them and then you pelt them with the other it was insane because one came from like our left and one came from above it was crazy and so then on our way back we had our chinese food and we were like all right i was like if i see this guy he's getting orange chicken in his fucking face but as we're walking back we walked to the other side of the street one of the cars

over there covered in milk a different like in a different like it wouldn't have been from the same milkshake they hit us they're almost yeah i like to think i i have two it's crazy i have two scenarios in my head yeah right hit me first one is like um you know like like scout team snipers have like one guy who's like on the binocular and then like one guy like with the gun yes i picture like two guys and they were like 400 yards away like a little target acquired and then you just like sniped you or there was a plane delivering a bunch of milkshakes and something got loose and three came out i mean it was crazy i've never seen anything someone must have opened their window and threw all their shit out or something do you think it

was malicious or do you think something went bad and they just had to get rid of them i mean it was definitely malicious even if they didn't know we were there you don't just whip a milkshake into the street. It could have been a huge mess. Where were they from? I didn't get a good look at them, but I'm assuming they were American. Calculating route to avoid seeing poverty.

Turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street. Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away. Then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away

and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention. Donate today at UnitedWayGT.org. No, I meant... What? We were in Venice. I meant, where were the milkshakes from? Why would I ever mean where were the people from? I mean, I didn't see them.

From, I don't know, the sky, dude. I don't know, like, it was just like a white styrofoam cup. Oh, like the classic milkshake cup. I actually don't know for sure if it was a milkshake, I guess. It all happened so fast we went running, but it looked like a milkshake. That is hilarious. Could have been milk, I guess. Could have been horchata.

Yeah. Wow. I can't get over it. Your brain. I don't know. I didn't get a good look at them, but I would assume they're probably American. They're not, like, Syrian, like, milkshake terrorists. They could be.

South American. oh funny stuff milk shakers um you got anything else on your chest or should we rm up all right oh yes my chest i got something on my chest yeah like yeah oh saturday night while all this was happening was in lieu of going to all our co-workers a bunch of our the other sketch guys we work with went to tim robinson's live show oh you went no so i didn't oh they all got tickets bought by the company yeah and uh chester the day of was like oh you should come like it'll be fun and my buddy was here and i was like dude would you want to go and he was like maybe the tickets were pretty expensive it's like a hundred bucks we

were kind of on the fence but evan and evan honewater and ben five is we're gonna come and then uh we were like checking the prices hoping they would go down a little bit because They're at $100, and, like, it just went the opposite way. So, like, they were up to, like, $200. Did they ever go down, like, night of? Sometimes, like, closer to the event. Like, if there's, like, a lot of people selling them, like, the people get desperate, and they'll lower the prices.

Prices went, we're going up. So it got to, like, $200, and we were just like, whatever, we're just going to play Super Strikers and eat Chinese food. They went, they all met, and hung out with Tim Robinson after the show. They hung out with him? Yeah, I would have been hanging out. They hung out.

i would have gotten to hang out no i think emily surprised them with ticket like emily yeah it was emily's idea but the company paid for it i know so you should have surprised us but yeah lauren where are surprise gifts yeah well speaking of surprises i can't believe that we made it how long in the episode did we just make it 17 minutes i know why haven't we not talked about it's rusty's birthday today thank you 23 rusty's 23 happy birthday for you happy birthday for you happy birthday for rusty happy birthday for you am i having a am i having a stroke i always thought it was to you what what is it a birthday song happy birthday to you happy birthday for you it's 100 to you

i don't think it is to you happy birthday to no it's for you it's your birthday it's like a gift like for you that's not true happy birthday for rusty happy it's 100 you want to bet a dollar i don't have a dollar i don't have a dollar happy birthday song i would bet my life on it happy birthday happy birthday to you is the name of the song i'm never saying it that way i don't know where you're going i heard you say two and then he said four and you joined she said four the whole time run the tape i've only ever sang for you that's insanity i've never once heard a poll in the office after i mean you just got fucking pranked was that the prank The worst prank of all time.

You guys set that up? I texted about this last night. I was like, when we do happy birthday, we can do for you. I was like, I know how his brain works. I guarantee he's going to say, am I having a stroke or is it to you? Oh, that's funny. I think I said it in my text. I was like, I guarantee he's going to be rattled.

The first time I said for, you were like, what? What? It's like a way bigger deal than you thought it would be. It's a harmless prank. It's like, fucking lose my shit. It's just a prank. The prank. How do you feel about being 23?

I feel good. Yeah? I feel good. Liam and I are going to go get a sound bath after this. That'll be fun. Oh. If you're not familiar, I'm not. I hope it makes your sound armpits smell better.

Okay, got him. I hope it makes your ears smell better. Yeah. Yeah, they're going to hit these gongs around us, but it's just us two. You're going to get cleansed. You're going to lay down like that? Yeah. I think it's like hours.

Dude, that sounds killer. That sounds really nice right now. I'm very excited. Yeah. All right, should we RM it up? Yeah. Wait, I got something else, I think. I've wrote a bunch of crotap.

No tap. Oh, no. It was just milkshake attack. all right what are all right this podcast is brought to you by triple triples the original high seltzer with three milligrams of thc and just 15 to 20 calories triple offers a social buzz similar to that of your favorite hard seltzer light on calories high on life it's all natural gluten-free and again just 15 to 20 calories the sun has been coming out lately have you noticed this lauren the weather is completely like changed my whole mindset on life oh yeah and there is no

better feeling than sitting on the front porch putting on my bluetooth speaker putting on that new vampire weekend album they got this one song that's like capricorn that's my favorite one and putting back a few triple high seltzers while i'm enjoying it uh i was hanging out with my friends and we were doing exactly that so they're good sounds like they're refreshing you know what i mean they bring that they bring a refreshment element to when you're drinking them on a sunny day triple is born from a desire to blend thc's social buzz with the social ritual of sipping on a seltzer triple is available in total wine locations grocery stores liquor stores bars and restaurants in florida texas and now missouri i'm talking to you kansas city i'm talking to you

st louis i'm talking to you lake of the ozarks it's currently available online nationwide as well to get it now go to drink triple.com and use code playdate for 10 off your order that's drink t-r-i-p-l-e.com and use code playdate for 10 off your order triple redefining the party landscape back into the episode all right we have we have a fantastic episode for you guys today we are going to do your pitches our pitches am i the asshole do we have am i the asshole fantastic everyone's new new favorite segment this guy rocks this guy rocks best guy ever best guy ever i for somebody this guy rocks this i like this guy rocks this guy rocks and then the wheel we're gonna yeah we have a we have like a wheel that means nothing

um and then we have everyone's second favorite segment teach me something then we have stephen king books that don't exist and will and i are gonna predict the biggest baby names the most popular baby names not the longest i don't know the names of the biggest babies gort gort weird gort would be fucking huge oh speaking of dude i got into uh dungeons and dragons on my ipad oh yeah you gotta learn how to play it sober before you try and play it really high it's it's overwhelming a lot going on and then we were going to predict the biggest baby names of the year i think it's going to be a blast yep should we get into pitches or do you have anything else on your chest will dude i have nothing abreast to my chest right now that's a

that's a crazy word i'm kind of enjoying that you guys aren't telling me what you're drafting because it's fun i'm like what is it gonna be like i could not have guessed that in a million years every time i love it all right yeah pitches okay first one is from i forgot the name he wanted me to use so i'm just gonna say kurt kurt pitch an app that will will resolve those situations when you and your buddies just cannot decide where to eat everyone loads up the app and answers a survey price range food genre eating environment location etc it will provide you a list of restaurants based off the survey answers love it yeah i think there is one for for couples that's like that where it's literally like we go in and it's like it might just be for like movies but

there's something where when you can't figure out what you want to do they like narrow you like narrow it down by like categories and stuff and then you like it won't it won't pick a movie until both of you pick the same movie wait but okay my question about this and maybe maybe i missed this if it was in it but like is it the night of picking the place you all do it together or is like you have preset settings i feel like you could do either that'd be funny if you just like like these are the things i like it would be the same every week then well if you're eating with the same people but like if you have a crew of five people who might not always eat together like oh this is the one place we all like yep that being said you can change it whenever you

want i guess right yeah yeah i like it i think it's fun i actually like i had i had a problem i'm sorry that was actually a weird burp too you've had a lot of weird like ashamed of it yeah not usually uh this would have been great last night last night i actually had a pretty funny pretty funny dining moment which was um epic dining moment epic dining moment my friend zoe had a event for her company it's called borrow it's a peer-to-peer clothing rental service not a pitch not a not an ad uh but it's a new app that my friends are making and she had an event for it and then after like there were like six of us that were like all right let's all go get dinner we're like we're gonna go to benihana so we walked to benihana there was two

hour wait at benihana yeah it's seven o'clock on a sunday oh well it's mother's day everyone goes to benihana i mean every restaurant's packed on mother's day i guess that makes sense yeah i guess i didn't really think about that so we're like all right we'll just go to this place next door and then we were like get to the place next door she's like all right your table will be a second like we just gotta clear it off and we're all standing there and everyone just like got silent like really sad and didn't talk until like one person was like does everyone just want to leave no one's on board we were just like yeah and so we all just walked home it was like wait separately yeah yeah like yeah all right later we went back to like our chester went to get sushi by himself

me and my buddy drove home everyone else just walked back to their houses no one got like we just all did our own thing like you just you just walked in but none of you wanted it yeah like it was like one of those things where everyone thought that like people wanted to go and everyone was like down yeah but then once it once the dust settled and it was like my buddy ben was just like does anyone want to be here and everyone's like no we're like all right let's leave i don't like i like benihana but i don't it wasn't benihana though it was a place next door to what was there was a two-hour wait what was that place i forget the name of it it was just like whatever place next door to benihana instead of monica i like when you go and uh and he's doing

the shrimp toss yeah and like there's one guy who just like he drops the first one no big deal but then like the second one doesn't go in and now there's so much pressure on this random guy i didn't sign up for this he's getting really nervous um all right let's hear another pitch all right this one is from t-bird he says hey yeah that's the name he wanted to go by hey lauren and sons respect and i like when people say what they want us to call them yeah have you ever wished there was a place where you could just run around and play yes introducing adult yeah yeah introducing introducing the park introducing outside introducing adult playgrounds pretty much what it sounds like just a typical playground but one that

allows adults and has more adults suited in adult size play items let your imagination go wild here oh my god oh sorry is there more there's a lot more well i was just talking about this yesterday okay slides are way too small for adults i don't think so oh i don't think that's true at all most slides are they're not can't fit on it they're not fun like they're just too short it's like okay that was oh oh oh i thought you meant like to fit in no no no definitely not long enough yeah or like you're scraping on the sides too sometimes yeah i'm picturing the width i'm like i think you can it depends on some i used to do you know what the slide guys no i used to have a yes i do know i do slide guys it actually they all like blew up we had like a big

a decent following back in the day but we gave it up but how big was it yeah i think it had like 20 000 followers on tiktok and on like six videos though they all like the first video we posted was zero followers got like half a million views and it was just reviewing a slide in a park but i was with my buddy who i did it with and we were talking about it yesterday and i would say And my one big qualm with it is that we didn't have as much fun because the slides aren't that fun. Yeah, we have to realize you're, like, four to five times bigger than the person. Yeah, they should go on for, like— You know why the downfall of the slide guys was that—

So it was kind of a ragtag group. It was, like, a different crew in every one. My buddy Ben was the ringleader. But they tried to go— Remember the video of the cop coming out of the slide in Boston? I was just about to say. I wanted to pull that out. They went the next day after that video to that slide, and they wore, like, helmets and, like—

elbow pads and stuff and we're gonna film a video and apparently there was so there were a bunch of kids there and like the moms freaked out on them and we're like this is like for kids like there was like a line of kids and they were just getting in the line with like elbow pads and helmets to go down the slide and they so they didn't film the video and wait lauren have you seen this video look up look up cop cop falling down you've never seen the cop going on the slide in boston i legit i legitimately think i think it might be my it's the best video yeah my favorite video on the internet so funny so for our audio listeners that haven't seen it it's basically it's this giant it's this giant like metal slide and it has this huge elbow in the middle of it like it's not

good for it in this this you don't see the cop but you just hear clanging and then he shoots he shoots out and like almost flies off the slide and all his like radio and like gun goes so and how did he end up on his stomach i think he just like didn't know he didn't know how funny he didn't know he didn't know so he just went down like way too fast yeah i don't know but i i imagine he like grabbed the the thing and like did the one where you like fling yourself yeah yeah down yeah i guess yeah i mean it's that's no no slide has ever been that there's like a day where that slide was the biggest thing in the world yeah and then like i saw videos of other people doing it it wasn't like a coincidence like it wasn't like he just did something wrong

like yeah if you weigh more than like a hundred pounds like you're just it's like yeah because they're designed for kids again yeah oh can we watch it again wait can i finish finish his pitch or do we not no no we can't watch i don't want to watch it again you want to watch it again it's gonna distract me for another 20 minutes yeah we can we leave um all right let me let me just finish this okay uh this could also include a bar or conversely it could even just be a bar that includes a playground kind of like how mcdonald's has a play place but this time it's with adults and with alcohol i definitely want to see it include those human-sized hamster tubes you can crawl around in and get lost while drunk love you guys beyond words deep in my soul lies a pond

where only you can swim i the hamster thing sounds like a nightmare i was gonna say i get claustrophobic that's horrible i here's my here's my thing about this um the reason it's good is like yes the the regular playgrounds aren't built for us but it's also like there is a negative connotation with hanging out at a playground as an adult especially if you look like you yeah okay well mustache yeah like dude sometimes i just want to take my van and go play at the playground and everyone's ruining my time i think this would be a blast uh it would be really dangerous though because after people start drinking the playgrounds never yeah the monkey bars would be a liability i remember we were talking about the other day i remember being able to do like like get up like

that on the monkey bars but like that's just a muscle up and i definitely can't do a muscle up yeah your body weight was we didn't weigh anything we're just i know but like isn't that crazy that at some point it's like you have the strength of an adult just packed into like a tiny everyone's just a little gymnast like you can just do anything did you guys have like flipping off i was a gymnast how many pull-ups did you do in the presidential fitness award whoa i don't know oh sorry that came out way more like accused right no no i didn't mean it all the gymnast girls in my middle school like like shattered the record because they were like doing pull-ups like i could do one pull-up yeah in fifth grade and this girl julia did like 56

That's so funny. She was goading. Yeah. I wasn't good at pull-ups. Actually, I wasn't great at pull-ups. I didn't do gymnastics for that that long, but I was really good at, like, the running test, like the pacer test.

I remember beating all the boys in my class, and I thought I was so good. What was your sitting reach? Oh, were you able to touch your toes? I'll never forget when I was in high school. We had PE, and Coach Williams made us. She was all business. She was, like, kind of funny,

but she was, like, would give you shit. she didn't play and there was one time that you had to do like 10 push-ups was just that's all you had to do yeah and i i was i think it was freshman year of high school i couldn't do 10 push-ups no and uh i just remember she yelled at me and she's because like we up until then we'd always done like sports and stuff and i was like pretty like i was pretty good at sports but that the 10 push-up test she said oh did she think you were like dicking around no she she said well you good at sports but boy you weak and i where is she rattled where was she from that she had that like south carolina i mean i didn't i could have leaned more into the

accent that i feel like i yeah i kind of got i kind of you got scared i got scared that i was gonna get canceled honestly was she white she was african-american yeah so probably good that you yeah steered clear of whatever accent you were gonna go with her initially yeah she she yeah i mean she probably still is too but uh she was great yeah but she she was trauma we had like did you guys have that like we like p in high school where they were like very like our grades were determined by like how many push-ups we could do or how many sit-ups you could do for like we had like tests that were like actual assessments of our like strength that affected knowing the rules of the game that's what like it should be but it was like like i remember that was

like i got like a worse grade because like i couldn't do as many push-ups as thomas mcnerney he could and did i ever tell you the uh the cademan story in gym class i don't know no this kid cademan that we can believe about his last name i don't know why i doxed him like that but he was just like a strange cat in our like objectively this the strangest cat in high school oh like come to come to class each day with a new accent that's fun and we like just couldn't call him out on it so you'd be in the middle of like a socratic seminar and then he would join with this like very thought out response but it would be in like a south african accent you had to just be like all right i guess we're like doing this today and he wore like those

like laceless merrills you remember those johns yep and uh merrills are cool i don't even know if this was my gym class but i remember i don't know if it's one of those stories like i've just heard it enough that i think i was there i all i know is he was in gym class they were playing like capture the flag or something and he was just like wheeling around the gym and he blew a tire like one of his marils like flew off like across the gym and he like slid

like feet first into the wall and just like like tumbled like calm like cartoonish fall yeah and everyone like

went silent for a second and then he got up and he goes no injury sustained you did tell us oh yeah he got up and started playing

that's awesome no injury sustained lovely guy yeah lovely should we do good old days man

high school Bro, is that a new hat? No, Chester gave me this. Oh. Chester. I was a gym TA my senior year, and Miss Beckle would just leave, and I would just have him play dodgeball. And there was, you know, like freshmen,

there are some kids that are like full, like they're long past like puberty, and then there's some that are like legitimate like children. I was the child type of this. It just like wasn't fair. and there was this kid nick who he plays lacrosse at yale now like he was just like a yeah he shouldn't have been in this gym class we should have like we should have like found something else for him to do test it out and i remember he just nailed this girl in the face with a dodgeball and it was like kind of a come to jesus moment where i was like oh i haven't i

haven't been like keeping these kids safe like at all yeah we did uh we during like spirit week we would do like an olympics style thing like in front of the whole school and it was like one of the events was dodgeball so it was like four-way dodgeball and each grade had their own thing and the seniors and the freshmen were like diagonal from each other and uh there was this kid brendan who he got drafted to the mlb like would like cannon for an arm and he did that thing where like no one the kids can throw a dodgeball so are there like curves yeah yeah they they don't even really know where it's going so you just like throw it like really low and like hope it like curved up and hit someone and uh you had to come to this assembly so like the kids that were like

the kids that were like trying to get their homework done were just like in the back like minding their own business and i remember brendan threw one and it just had like way more spin on it he thought it was going to it it curved like up missed everyone missed like the first like 10 rows of like the bleachers yeah and we was just clear it was going for like the homework kids and this bego no that's that's brendan goss this is brendan tinsman and uh none of the homework kids were paying attention to like what was going on and i just remember like looking up and i can't remember if it was like a textbook or like her ipad um but the ball hit whatever she was holding like into her face oh and she just had to pretend like it didn't hurt but like

there's a there's a kid who he had been committed to wake forest for baseball since eighth grade like yeah again shouldn't have been in this like competition yeah he's playing he's playing college ball next year and you're just a 13 year old trying to get like your physics homework done next thing you know there's you got a face full ipad that's brutal that's brutal there was some crazy disparities in that yeah those gym classes it's the only time in your life where like well yeah the following year when i was a sophomore when i lived in spain and i was dude i was just i still was like a kid dude and i just remember i get in gym class in spain they everyone showers together nice which like is so horrible if you're the kid who has like

no hair on any part of his body and like yeah it was terrifying honestly did they throw like european jabs at you yeah i mean they threw just i guess just any just normal yeah i guess normal I guess by nature of being in Europe, they were European jazz. Yeah. No, I just remember being like, there were kids who were just like men. And I was just like, this is so terrifying. Yeah. I was so scared of showering with those guys.

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start playing today for free use promo code playdate to get a free bonus today that's code playdate in the yada app let's get back into the episode we're gonna do am i the asshole now oh our pitches oh yeah our pitches i knew we were missing okay my pitch is i don't know okay i'm just gonna pitch it my pitch is the out of breath podcast will liam do that no yeah they do like out of breath sports broadcast oh yeah yeah he's coming down the left field line um anyway what i was gonna say is that in i was in aforementioned i was in santa monica yesterday walking to benihana i am out of breath do you need to take a second i booked it up those stairs okay uh five stairs 500 more like anyway they got those diagonal crosswalks oh yeah

fuck those dude what hate them they're killer have you done them i just like i feel so exposed yeah i agree when you're in the middle though it's the only time you can like you can like goof around in the middle of the intersection it's like the only time you can run handsprings yeah i did like i you know what i did is i like put one leg up and i like clicked my heel yeah that's fun and i felt like i was putting on a show because there were four cars looking at me everyone's like oh fuck but my butt yeah well yeah my buddy had never seen one before she was like can we just cross it just to do it and i actually and i was like yeah yeah but then i realized i don't really think i've done that that often it's really cool it's like

exhilarating you never get to walk in that part of an intersection is that your pitch your pitch is just more yeah my pitch my pitch is more of those but no my pitch is not well more of them would help too but also make like hexagonal crosswalks it's like it accounts for every possible direction you could be walking there's a path or there's it's just like a big like asterisk of paths but the cars would never get to go yeah but that's uh that's a secondary people people first first yes the one in venice is like just a nightmare like if you catch that where uh right by giada there's a diagonal one yeah so like if you like if you i believe so unless i've just been walking through there why am i oh yeah yeah it just feels like if you miss

that light like i put that's one of those lights where if i miss it i put my car in park because i'm like i'm gonna be here for a fucking oh yeah yeah oh yeah yeah because yeah but yeah people are fucking crossing i don't know 100 years away stink i just stink i just like okay i got a i got an idea okay we can punch it up a little bit you ready so what i'm gathering is you just like being in the middle of the intersection yeah right so here's what go here's what it is it's like are you fucking are you joking right now no no no everything buddy it's okay quick paper it's okay pick it up pick them all there's some on my desk will just spilled his coffee for our audio listeners and everything's going to trash elisa was gone hey elisa was gone basically i was

basically gone at least so that's good i think it was like almost freaking out um all right so while you're doing this i'm gonna i'm gonna tell you how we can solve your problem of wanting to be in the intersection have you seen like the arch in st louis yeah it's like a bridge like that that goes above intersections and it stops on the top there are seats on the top of the stoplights so you can walk up there and just chill in the middle of the intersection and watch all the cars go by yes sweet big oh yeah just a network of paths connecting the stops lights themselves yeah am i visible in the thing yep you are cool i might do more podcasts like this um yeah that's pretty cool so i started writing down my

yeah but what if i wanted like the last couple drops oh no i was gonna drink that They're just being big babies Speaking of big babies Glenn Davis He got sentenced to jail Oh no I was joking There's actually something about Glenn Davis He's three years in jail for health insurance fraud

He was in our office like a year ago Health insurance fraud Yeah he was faking medical things I guess to get money How much financial trouble is the big baby in He's going to prison for three years Also, can you see the video? Wait, wait, wait.

Go pull up the video of Glenn Davis talking about... Put Instagram live after that. I think you're thinking of Paul Pierce. Nope. Have you seen Paul Pierce's Instagram live? Yes. From like a while ago? Oh, wait.

This, probably? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at what he says. I got a cold imagination, though. You know, I'm into that actor shit. I got a cold imagination. I'm gonna have to choke the chicken in the bath. I don't think he realizes the gravity of this situation.

Come, I'm going to come to rock. It's like not that many people watching this live. That's insane. He got sent to three years in jail. The first thing he said was, I guess I'm going to have to choke the chicken in the bathroom. What did he do? What did he do?

Health insurance fraud. So here's the good news about Glenn Big Baby Davis. It seems like he's taking it well. He's taking it like too well. Yeah. He seems like excited to go. It seems like he was looking for an excuse to eat better. Yeah.

I mean, I guess that is like the mindset you have to have. You're like, all right, well, I'm going to get shredded. Yeah. if I went to prison I'd probably get jacked yeah dude if I went to prison I'd done

what else would you do um I'd probably join like a no I mean like actually like what else would you do oh oh I thought

like what other things would you do I think you read a bunch of books yeah yeah I think you need to just get really well read yeah

can you get like a game boy like I feel like you should let you have like a game boy can you look up Paul Pierce speaking of Celtics going live look up Paul Pierce Instagram live

one of the crazy the one with like the chicks shaking their butts yeah so my sister apparently like i think they like they were either representing one of his companies or something but she was somehow involved she's in pr and was like involved in this like pr nightmare and was like yeah she was like texting me like do you know did you see what paul pierce did

should i fast forward yeah go to like the big spike in the middle i guarantee that's something calculating route to avoid seeing poverty turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street. Then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food. Steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away. Then take the next exit. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention. Donate today at unitedwaygt.org. yeah he just has like strippers walking around his house all right that's enough damn he thrown up the set that's kind of killer yeah all right sorry sorry to the nba or the uh

not the nba listeners sorry to the nba well i was gonna say you know how we said in the last episode like sorry if we do too many videos a lot of people commented in the youtube and they were like oh we don't mind it's fine no but there are other ones that said we do mind they well they were saying they want a more in-depth description of what's going on yeah i think we should i think we if we did a lot last episode yeah i think as long as we keep it normal but i think the overall consensus is it's not a big deal yeah yeah yeah i mean at least these things you can like hear yeah i don't know all right my pitch kind of sucks i like wrote down the beginning and like when i checked my notes app this morning i assumed it was done but i guess i just never

really like fleshed out the idea fully it's like an olympics style bar where like each table is like a new event and you can go and play against other people and like if you win that's fun round of drinks or something yeah yeah there's like horseshoes horseshoes hackies hand grenades there's a table of hand of table of like mild explosives um table mild salsa just all all things of that nature um you get like a country when you walk in and you go yeah okay that's what it is you can only take one that isn't already been taken yeah so like if you're first there you can get like jamaica yeah is that that's that's your first pick yeah jamaica is only good for like one thing bobsled true feel the rhythm feel the vibe come on up it's bobsled time

all right should we do some am i the asshole yes okay was that i can't believe you got me with happy birthday for you all-time prank all right so i was supposed to get birthday hats yesterday and i dropped the ball well it's okay i was also maybe gonna get you a cupcake and then i didn't i guess telling you this guys i mean can i just say i feel so much love in this room for how much you guys were thinking about doing for me it's the thought it's the thought we've been talking about for like a week we realized like a week and a half ago and we were like we gotta do something and then somehow all we came up with was happy birthday for you i got home last night and i was yeah i

have i have i feel very loved okay good i hope you feel loved but you're gonna have a wonderful sound we're gonna get you a we're gonna get you something yeah later you know what can i tell you guys something that happened to me the other day that i can't believe it's never happened and i didn't realize how much it sucked i was eating food but i was like really high and like wasn't really like focusing on it and i bit the fork like so hard and i'm shocked that that's not a bigger problem it put me out of commission for like the rest of the meal and then like part of the afternoon i hate that i hate metal on my dude it was how is this not happening to people left and right i've never heard of this most of us i was eating uh prince street pizza with a fork

and knife oh i had a whole one of those friday night i did i got a naughty pie three days ago and it's the only thing i've eaten the other day my my insides are in shambles my insides are in chandles and sandals my insides are in sandals that's like that's like a jimmy buffett song skies out thighs out summer is right around the corner and our friends at chubbies are bringing the good vibrations chubbies makes clothes that make every moment feel like a vacation they say fashion is an expressions of one character so why not let the world know you're down for a good time chubbies offers a variety of high quality everyday men's apparel from the most comfortable shorts you'll wear all summer to swim trunks pants polos

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not gonna call this guy but we're gonna call the next guy we've got a british playmate hey lauren i got a good am i the asshole from the uk if you read this on the pod you can call me bill thank you bill this has been on my mind for about the last eight years because it blew up my relationship with my best friend essentially am i the asshole for ghosting my best friend for the last seven eight years like i wish there was no conduct that's it like probably the main event started when he called an ambulance to my house when i wasn't there because he said he was having a psychotic episode to uh because of smoking too much weed later that year at a new year's party he got too drunk and stole our mandy molly mdma whatever and was generally wilding out being a

dick after that new year's i quit drinking but started smoking weed a lot so when a third party friend convinced convinced us both to get together for a reunion i was just getting blazed but my friend decided to get blackout drunk again and being a dick so i went home and vowed to never interact with him again the am i the asshole part of this is that we were all friends for about seven eight years before all this and had some great times together after the friend went to live in spain and mexico on and off for the last six years i'm back in touch with them now but it's a very strange relationship so here's here's my initial reaction sometimes you like outgrow friends yeah and it sucks to be like oh we like we were on the same page at one point but now we're in different

phases of our lives and that's super hard but i think you actually it seems like you've made the correct decision where there are some people that you might still love them but they don't there's not a really a place for them in your life anymore i agree i mean that being said in the first instance sounds like you're not being sympathetic he could have been having a marijuana overdose so you might have he might have died he might have od od on marijuana if he hadn't gotten that ambulance we should try and be the first guys to od i think it's funny that uh yeah i think it's funny that he called an ambulance to his house is like one of the like all the other things seemed like way more like yeah like that doesn't feel like that would affect

me that much i don't know if you were at my house just when i wasn't there like super high and then you called an ambulance to the house and i was like oh you were just too high and you called the ambulance i was like well what are we doing here yeah that is a funny that's just like a funny one and like all the other ones sound like yeah like this yeah get it together and that one's just like kind of funny but yeah i think i think my can my verdict and i'll let you give your verdict as well will is uh that's just part of life sometimes sometimes you you you outgrow people and uh doesn't take anything away from the fun times you guys had in the past but maybe you know we've we've reached a fork and you guys you guys are gonna go yourself it's okay

to fork sometimes yeah yeah all right let's fork all right let's fork that's a good one okay well the other one is also a theme of friendship breakups in a sense so that's kind of what we're talking about um the next one is from what's a good c name crendall no no no let's give him a real name sorry chris crispin crispin crispin crispin is that a name yeah i have a friend named crispin yeah really um blank blank blank that last part we're not yeah you the amount of names you've dropped today we're not close we're also not close enough friends for me to be he was like young he's a he's a family friend younger okay all right fair enough yo lauren i've got an am i the asshole that's been tearing me up this weekend i would love to run it by you

and the boys no one's been tearing up my ass tearing up an asshole who's been tearing up my am i the asshole recently i had been trying to plan something for me and the boys to escape our town for a weekend and get her and get active for my birthday our group is around three people on the norm but one of our boys recently began a journey into the caribbean no spice colombian bam bam and i decided not to invite him dear to fear of us somehow getting in trouble at the bar or downtown etc that's smart yeah judging by his snaps he's obviously hurt he didn't get invited the trip really wasn't that fun and i feel that it would have been if i had actually invited my bro i feel like a total asshole but i also feel like i did wait wait sorry the trip wasn't fun

Jinx Yeah he said the trip Really wasn't that fun Okay so And this guy This guy would have Made it more fun Yeah

Do you want me to call him Yeah Yeah That is funny to be like To be like We had to get rid of him Because he would have Been too much fun

Yeah Yeah and then You'll end up having fun Yeah and you're like Fuck I wish Crust Crust We can call him

But um We also The girl from last week Said that we can call her Oh let's go Yeah Yeah we should Yeah should we do like a

Prank on one of them Do you want me to call him I guess it's just calling him on Instagram, right? Yeah. God, we should... Well, he sent me his phone number. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do that, and then we'll prank him.

What? But we don't have a prank yet. I'm just going to call him. Okay, just call him. It also seems like he needs help, and we're just like, got you. Got him. Do they know we're calling this early? Yeah, I told them.

Did you call his phone? Yes. Hello? Hello? Hi, this is Lauren and everybody. Hi. Hi. Hi, this is Will.

what's up boys how are you i'm electric nice we heard a little bit about your problem but maybe you could just run us through it yes so me and my boys were just trying to get out of town for my birthday and where'd you go uh we went to downtown dallas nice dtd yeah it's pretty sick hell yeah one of the boys has recently uh just gotten into you know bad habits yeah so we just like didn't i didn't know whether to invite him or not because i'm kind of a goody two-shoes yeah we love that so we just freaked out and kind of panicked and didn't invite him and we invited one of my boys from my hometown and trip really wasn't great and we all kind of looked back on it we're like

maybe we should have invited my boy yeah do you think any part of the trip not being great was that you took a trip to downtown dallas yeah that might have something to do with it um can i ask you a question yeah what's up so we heard a little bit about that maybe like his snapchats were indicating he was sad can you tell us like what that looked like were they on his story were they direct to you guys like what was he saying or was he just posting like sad shit uh i mean he was posting like sad shit but at the same time like he wouldn't snap me back and like he was texting my buddies that were also on the trip be like i hope y'all are having a good time oh and where do you guys live where are you based out of uh like the abilene texas area it's

like central texas okay okay cool um interesting so like i think has he been a what were you gonna say well no you go ahead was he has he been a problem out because of the drugs or was this like just precautionary like he might do something bad he's definitely brought them into places like where he shouldn't have and we've all noticed it and like been kind of scared to get in trouble yeah yeah we just wanted to take the precaution of like you know because it's like the first time in a long time that we've like actually gone out as a group yeah but but do you regret it i mean i i regret not bringing him just because he's usually such a good personality and like we've been friends for so long it would have made the trip more fun i mean i thought i think that

had like usually having him around makes you know things are just interesting and like he's just a he's a homie usually yeah yeah i think if we could if we had a time machine and we could have gone back and done things differently do you think if you were like yo we're doing this but could you like could we could we keep it between the ditches this weekend could we not like would he have listened to that and been like down to you know just drink and do whatever you want without you know other stuff and would he have been able to behave himself or do you think that he would have been like yeah that works and then just been a menace anyways i probably think it's the latter okay have you expressed to him how how his behavior recently is making you feel

i mean we've talked about it a little bit but like i i struggle with like just telling people straight up how i feel yeah yeah it's hard yeah i feel that i i have an idea i think because it sounds like this guy is a fun guy to have around yeah and we need to somehow find a way to integrate him back into the crew get him on kratom yeah i think i think maybe i think maybe you guys sit down you have a heart to heart you're like listen you know like we've been boys forever but it makes me uncomfortable when you're you know doing certain drugs or like acting the way you act and like putting us in uncomfortable situations is there is there a way to have a heart-to-heart with him that you think maybe would resonate with him i think definitely i mean he's he's

an emotional dude like he he'll sit down and listen to you like he's not gonna yeah just he also he also probably like i mean what i've seen with people who get into kind of that path is it's not like he's waking up every morning and having like proud of what he did you know what i mean he's probably aware that like he needs to make a change so maybe the best thing for both of you guys would be like he's he needs you to reach out to him and kind of get him back on track and then it's a win-win because you also get your buddy back yeah i think he's right does that sound like something you'd you might be able to pull off oh yeah definitely nice don't feel bad though it's your birthday like you can yeah that's for your own party so i i have i have

a happy birthday yeah happy birthday i have a follow-up i have a follow-up we're gonna take a step higher okay if the talk goes well you plan another trip and you bring him along and you see it's kind of a myth buster scenario would it have been more for you go back to dtd you had to do the same bar back to dtd same bars and you see is he the catalyst for fun like is he the reason that we didn't have any fun yeah i got you um sweet well thank you for call or answering our call i should say and uh sharing and uh you're in a great day boys i have a question before i go yeah when is the beer coming to texas we need it it's a good question i don't know that is above our pay grade but maybe the fall maybe the fall fall sounds right yeah i respect it we'll keep

you posted though appreciate the love yeah see y'all later all right take care later it feels like he it was a bigger problem when he wrote in yeah it feels like he was kind of over it doesn't it just doesn't he didn't seem like very interested in no that's fine yeah i should call the other lady oh yeah yeah i also i think i think we gave him some sound i think you gave like really good advice yeah it was just like he just kept being like like we'd ask questions be like yeah okay well i mean you told us you gave us your phone number okay i'm gonna give another little run yeah i forget what this was memory so this was the girl last week and it was about how she kept wanting to break up with her boyfriend but he was like no wait till my

birthday yeah yeah oh oh oh she wanted a present yeah yeah um and so it ended it ended with the next day asked if we can meet up and talk he said no and then he had work so the next day asked again he said no because he had plans what is the present oh it was a samurai sword worth it that's awesome this guy i think might be the right he might be the right thing did he know it was gonna be a samurai sword i guess not he had an inkling he knew something samurai he saw he saw a samurai shaped box and he was just like i'm gonna i'm gonna wait it out you can't break of me until i figure out what the fuck's in that box hello hi hi hi finally how are you guys so good how are you you're a you're a hard woman to reach i'm sorry no no you're fine you're so fine

so we we've got we've heard a little bit about your story we're pretty intrigued we're so excited so the from what we understand this guy basically kept you around because he wanted a samurai sword yeah so basically him and i we were together for a hot minute and how hot of a minute like it was like a year and a half okay that's long um and it was like the last half a year that was like really a struggle for me like i loved him and he was great but he like he wouldn't shut up suffocated me so much you are suffocated i was just like i was just like this is way way too much and you know so um you guys read the first half yes first quarter yeah okay so basically um after he had like told me that he could never um hang out or talk to me because he had always

had plans or always had work or something going on like that went on for like a week or like a couple weeks and I didn't want to be like I didn't want to be the asshole that dumped somebody over text messages and so I brought two trash bags worth of his stuff and I knocked on his door and his mom answered and he wasn't home so whether he was at work or not you know I don't really care but he wasn't home and his mom answered the door and I asked her if I could come in and so I went into his room and I got

all of my stuff like I had like my shirts and bathing suits because he lived on a lake and like all of my stuff grabbed it and I went back out. He really fucked up if you're willing to give up the lake house Seriously I know and he lived on a lake and he

had a cottage on a lake too I know. He's got rules i grabbed all my stuff and then i brought them out to my truck and brought all of his stuff into the house and i put them in the kitchen with his mom and she asked what was going on and i said please um please tell boyfriend that we're done and i never want to see him or hear from him ever again and i love you and your family but like i'm done like bye and um like while i was walking to my truck after leaving his house i blocked his number like i was done a month after that i had like random numbers texting me like um and they were like him or like his friends that were

texting me like him trying to get a hold of me and so then after like a month of me not answering any of that he started like stalking me oh and like was showing up places like i was at work and he would like his vehicle would be parked in the town that i worked at and like it was so weird i would be hanging out with friends and i'd like see him fly by i had no idea how he got my location or where he knew where i was but like it was just not it wait did he get it i'm forgetting did he get his samurai sword yeah he did so how did you how did you exchange the samurai sword without having to like have the conversation we had celebrated his birthday for the past three years the same way like we would all go over to his house and we'd all give him like his gifts

like his friends and family and stuff like that and so i did that and i had it wrapped up and he opened it and then was like okay you know like he waited to the last second to open it because it was always like the rule that girls couldn't stay after midnight and so he waited to the last second then his mom came downstairs was like okay everyone leave yeah she was definitely in on it she definitely knew that he was that he was gonna he waited to open he said we can't break up until my gift and then he waited to open it until the girls curfew what happens after midnight that mom got she definitely gets like odd odd days with the samurai sword what what happens after midnight the boys just like they go nuts seriously they start fighting each other with samurai swords i

guess it's wild yeah i mean the worst part about him ending up stalking you is that you know for as a samurai sword a samurai sword oh yeah whoa that is really funny this feels like there's i mean not to trivialize this but like there's a plot of a movie here where they end up in like a samurai battle i like that you're keeping it like in the same genre like there there are there are other weapons that would probably be more effective against the samurai sword but you're you're like a woman of honor if we're fighting with samurai swords we're fucking doing it right wait so how did this shake out you don't live in japan what what um what happened like how did this shake out so after he had stalked me for a hot minute

um and like would just show up random places that i was he like one day ended up coming into my work where do you work i worked at a restaurant okay not a good place for a boyfriend of the samurai and he walked inside and he tried to order food but like right when he walked in i saw him and i had enough time to like get out of there before he saw me he was sitting in there for a while and i had enough time like i ran out back with one of my co-workers and i like told her what was going on i was like just let him know like i'm not gonna be in there while he's still here So when I'm not at work, I work on cars like I am like a mechanic on my side, I guess. I wouldn't I don't know if I would really say that, but I work on my friend's cars and stuff like that.

And so I always keep tools in my car or my truck. And so I grabbed my toolbox out of the bed and I ended up slashing his tires. taking his hood struts what's a hood for for will and i obviously know what hood struts are that's what they call my walk the hood strut when the hood up you know how it like stays up and it's got like the little oh it's just the thing that props it up what an inconvenient thing um his front bumper was completely detached from the car but it was still like it was still on it so when like he would back away like it would like no longer be attached to the car and i took all the bolts for that and then i stole the radio that i gave him a year prior wait a minute

you fucked him $150 carplay screen radio yeah like a custom kit for it and i took that because he left his car unlocked so yeah yeah convenient for me to like and i yeah from there it just kind of i kind of you know i i don't want to say i'm an asshole i don't think i'm an asshole for it i think he got everything he deserved and i think i'm very stubborn and like can i ask you a question absolutely if we want him to leave the restaurant wouldn't it be counterproductive to slash the tire like how did he get out if you how did he leave if you slash the tires so there isn't a parking lot specifically for the restaurant because it's in a busy town so it was more of like um just parking throughout the town okay did anyone see

you slashing the tires no there was hardly anyone down there because it was it was a late on a sunday night and damn where i live it just dies after like three o'clock everyone's like okay time for bed i guess yeah um no it was he was parked in a very convenient spot where it was kind of like shaded over i guess like i don't know yeah it was just it was very hidden jesus wow well i don't think i don't think you're the asshole it sounds like this guy i don't know well i'm i i we're gonna we're gonna break it down on the pot we got we're gonna let you go and we're gonna this will be out on wednesday and you can listen to our full breakdown of it awesome but Thank you so much for calling.

For sure. Thank you for filling us in. We appreciate it. Of course. Thank you for giving me a call. You guys have a wonderful rest of your day. Thank you. You too.

You too. Bye. Bye. I always, when they're on the air, I always feel like I have to be like, you're definitely not the asshole. That escalated. There's a part of me that's like, what if the other side of the story is like, you just had like a really busy week.

he just like was actually really busy one week yeah i mean i was so on her side and then i guess i just didn't she went nuts on his car i didn't i didn't grow up in a place where like that was a form of retaliation like i don't maybe i'm just like misinformed i mean he was stalking her it sounds like i forgot about the stalking part so i think she did the right thing i don't think she's the asshole yeah but she definitely went rogue she definitely blurred the lines right in the bananas on his car she did like funny things though the one taking the thing the hood struts is the funniest like how often is he i guess maybe his car is like like if you took my hood struts it would you wouldn't notice it for weeks it would take me like years to figure like to notice that

yeah um the fun the thing which is like i unscrewed the bumpers when he drove away his bumper would come off that's funny that is funny that is fashion the tires the radio she had bought is like i guess fair game i think i don't think she's the asshole but i do think that took her there was a point in her storytelling where i was like where is this going she was like i'm a car i also work on cars it's like all right where are we going but then it kind of all came together so i'll give her credit there we just had to bear with her but yeah that was wild that was nuts um do you guys want to do when she said she also bought a samurai sword i was crying that's hysterical maintain honor

what you can even buy one of those what is this probably in like it sounds like wherever she is they're readily available yeah it sounds like they're like the go to weapon wherever she lives alright should we do this guy rocks

alright Lauren I just slacked you by this guy of the week I said mine earlier today his name is the Tarlov oh do you want to give any context yeah i'll give a little context so oh i think i've seen this guy so you know you haven't you've probably seen will you've probably seen will mahoney who's my buddy and they and what i love about will mahoney is

just his general vibe and i hadn't really seen anyone else like him where they have like these cool tattoos and like they dress very like you know out there and like they just have a cool like outlook on life and then i saw this guy and it looks like will's little brother okay or young or older brother i don't know take it let's give it a shot all right wait is will mahoney big on tiktok yeah that looks delicious so he's got to figure it out so for the audio listeners there's a man and he's in a cut-off t-shirt and jorts white socks and converse and he's wearing wired headphones and he's walking down the street and then he goes into taco night and just yeah yeah looks just

looks kind of like well mahoney's like a a a handsomer version i would say but both very cool guys a little bit of a diss of the tar lob there that looks so yeah i like that this video is 14 seconds long and has a hundred thousand likes it's just him walking and eating a taco good vibe i love it yeah i like that guy a lot nothing to that guy rocks that guy does rock all right well who who's your guy that rocks my guy i actually i've been watching this guy but then someone actually dm'd us it was like this would be a good this guy rocks and i was like oh yeah totally a hundred percent but i have been i've been onto this guy for a little okay any context i don't know man he just rocks okay watch the subway one first all right ladies and gentlemen today we're going to

Are they on the highway? Yeah, I don't remember this one being so loud. It's the wind. He just loves when the lights turn off. Look at this. Ready? Come on. Drum rolls.

It's just like a little kid outside Subway waiting for the lights to turn off. Drum roll. Bang. Bang. Well done. So that's his whole shtick. So those ones are like endearing when it's at a restaurant. But go all the way to the bottom.

He's precious. Now do the second video. Oh, so he's new on the block. Yeah, yeah. But look at this. This one is, this is the, it was like the OG one. that's like it's more creepy than it is cool okay hello ladies and gentlemen today we're going to be watching teresa's lights turning off is that his neighbor teresa i'm excited for the lights to turn

off because they're turning off any second now calculating route to avoid seeing poverty turn left to bypass the unhoused youth sleeping on the street then keep right to skip by the lines of people waiting for food steer clear of the crowded shelter turning people away then take the next exit let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty your donations help the united way fight poverty in thousands of ways like providing food shelter and crisis prevention donate today at unitedwaygt.org she's now asleep and we will go inside her home they turn off at different times

but anyway we're waiting for the lights to turn off there it goes oh they turned off okay make sure you like and follow goodbye have a good day i just like don't know how they like i always wonder if these ones where it's like kids that like clearly like their parents are filming them like who decided were the parents like no this is good or was he like i think what i think it's like he he like they found out he has this hyper fixation of it and then they want to make money off of it no i think he was probably just like he doesn't realize that like he's the only one that thinks that's crazy how do you even how do you even discover do you think he was

walking past like a house and the lights turned off and he was like holy fuck yeah i mean i feel like it probably started with theresa's honestly he's probably sitting on the balcony every night waiting for like yeah oh that's cute how do you discover that that's the thing you like though i don't know also how he was like usually they're off but usually like they fucking turn off they must have like some sort of yeah but look like isn't that that's just someone's house yeah if i was teresa's finding this like teresa starts seeing stickers everywhere teresa's like oh they turned off hell yeah yeah that's pretty cool i mean he's the man he's red hot right now he's big yeah this should be a comic like i can see this being yeah yeah i took a class in college called

um yeah writing about comics and uh i was the only kid in the class that wasn't like obsessed with comics you actually met one of the kids in the class juan oh yeah from comics a peer he peer reviewed uh he was the kid that walked into takaya when we were eating lunch that one oh yeah he's a man yeah he's a good guy he was he would peer review my essays and i was the only kid that like didn't like love comics didn't like grow up with these like because they weren't it wasn't like calvin and hobbs it was like yeah you know pretty deep stuff and uh yeah i fought through that class that was a boring story do you guys want to do no i thought i thought it was interesting i've never heard of that class even i thought it was good liberal arts school yeah that's true

yeah can i teach you something well yeah teach me something could you so abe lincoln's son was present for three assassinations present or president present like he was like in the room when three of them happened and apparently after mckinley he was like convinced that he was just like bad luck and so he started declining invitations to go places where presidents were gonna be dude i respect that that's like that's like when you like turn the game off because you know you watching it makes your team lose yeah that's like a level of commitment to something he cares about our country yeah obviously had nothing to do with it but he's like in the off chance yeah i appreciate that he stepped back wait what he was in the room for what i don't

know obviously his dad let's look it up okay yeah robert todd lincoln oh wait he got shot too dude i guess people were just getting blasted like left and right we were talking about that no i was just talking about this yesterday no one's getting blasted that much i know people aren't getting for how divisive the modern american politics are nobody has been assassinated are these just way harder now yeah and it's like not like back then it was like you were for sure gonna be like a piece of history and now i feel like if you were the one that did it they would just like kind of sweep it under the rug and you'd be gone well what what evan honewater was saying when we were talking about this oh i thought you were making fun of

you were actually talking about this yeah i was literally talking about this yesterday he was saying that it's it might be more that like like a lot of those it's like jfk and like mlk foremost were like probably the government or at least people involved with the government yeah and that like there now there's kind of like so much it would be it would be easier to like like people would know that the government it was hard it's hard to get away with with like phones and cameras and everything that we have now to where like it could be that most of the assassinations were just orchestrated by like the cia and shit and then now it's just harder to get away with that in the public eye without yeah not to be like a tinfoil no no but i feel like that's

like not also correct me if i'm wrong you know more about politics than i do it felt like correct it was easier to plan a coup back then because like they yeah there weren't such distinct like teams like it felt like regardless of party they might have kind of all been in on like like they were down to collude against a specific guy yeah and now it's like it feels like more divisive yeah i agree but it is like i mean i don't know also you reminded me of this when you said mlk and uh and jfk and then i was thinking like lbj why did we stop just doing i know acronyms it's way cooler i guess they all had bob for brock that would have been cool i thought you're gonna bob for the guy that sings airplanes can we pretend like airplane um all right teach

me something well yep um yep oh yeah you know what i was reading about you know that guy andy circus no no it sounds like a made-up name and he's like she's gonna spell like circus oh like yeah so he is apparently he's the goat i think he's pretty famous he does every single one he does every like motion capture guy yeah so he's a golem he's planet of the apes he's king kong he's supreme leader snoke in star wars he's in andor which is my favorite show yeah and he's so good in that show as just himself like as a real actor and i never knew it's the guy that plays like all of these things that i've been watching my whole life i think the reasoning is i just don't get why they would he must have like a some crazy defect no we're like his he has

extra muscles in his face because he can they do like the motion capture on his face so he can probably make facial expressions for any being it just seems weird that a high profile guy would be doing these roles when it's like you could get anyone to do it like think about how much money the budget would save to get a different guy to be the mom i don't think you could i think it's i think he's he's good he just he's the goat of facial expressions probably i guess yeah it's also like you you gotta spend the money somewhere yeah i mean well i was having this i was also having this debate about what was he randomly in 13 13 that's what i was saying i was like i knew i know he looks familiar sorry to cut you off can you just pull up who he was in 13 million 30 just

yeah he was the the mean boss oh very fun the gay boss very cool the gb well i was walking down venice bull bar venice boardwalk and uh and uh yeah you saw the planet of the age no no no there was ads for the new garfield movie i guess okay apparently there's a new garfield movie but like this time he really hates lasagna yeah oh he's pissed this time no it's like chris pratt like bo and yang like all everyone was like a i feel like there's animated movies come out with like eight different a-list people attached to it yeah and it's like how does that make sense to spend all your money like why wouldn't you just get if his voice acting like i get like there's something like a will arnett where it's like he's got that voice yeah but i don't get how i guess

from it's all for marketing john krasinski just came out with like a children's movie and it's like it's like it seems like every a-list actor is yeah like i understand you want to have a few big names to attach to the project to sell it and stuff yeah but like if the sixth biggest character is kevin hart like that's a waste of money do you want to know my theory i do i think the i can't speak for the garfield movie but we were watching the john krasinski one i wouldn't dare speak for the garfield movie here and ty and i were talking about this and we were like had the same question like why would you ever hire that many alias actors yeah and he was like it's probably just krasinski was doing this like probably for like his kids or something and then the other guys

are like this is a cool project we can bang it out in a day yeah and they probably don't pay them like their full rate that's true you know what uh what is the movie i don't know is it out it's some it's like you watch it no i saw a commercial for it john krasinski yeah it's called if oh okay look who's in it it's fucking stacked whoa john krasinski ryan reynolds emily blunt steve carell matt damon blake lively like it's like this is exactly what i'm saying like vince vaughn is like the eighth most famous person it's insane oh shit like everyone's bradley cooper yes yeah like that's that's the part of it i mean what george clooney george clooney's halfway down this page yeah hego michael key's the second to last guy is that insane but

it's probably it's probably like this will be a cool thing to tell your kids that you're in yeah i guess you can come in for a day must not be paying all those guys like a big deal i mean maybe i guess he can't i don't know dude they come in for an afternoon and they bang out of their lines that is crazy yeah um interesting all right should we do uh draft things yeah do you want to start with stephen king books that don't exist or do you want to predict the the biggest baby names of this year yeah do the biggest babies wait what oh biggest babies big babies okay bait all right baby number one we are we're three months into 2024 these are the hottest baby names of the year so far maybe like like we're gonna predict we're gonna predict the

hottest baby names of the year we're also why do you say we're three almost six months six january february march april it's about to be june they were like halfway we've only been four months four and a half months still didn't less than four and a half may is the pinky and you're holding it down yeah because we're not we're we're it's less than two weeks into may basically july say we say that we're predicting basically july my ass it's may say that we're predicting the biggest baby names of 2025 yes omg all right we're predicting the biggest baby names of 2025 first up trundle you've you know it from the bed it's making a comeback for people yeah it's gonna be the hottest girl name of 2025 guarantee it put my money down um my first one i have chathan

yes i think like people are tired of nathan nathan it's nathan's so fucking last year chafing yep i love it i've got palette palette is in 2025 palettes gonna be everywhere it's like one of those it's unisex too yeah it's perfect yeah these ones don't really have much of an explanation no they don't um trace trace wait i feel like is that a name trace mcsorley yeah now that i'm saying out loud it definitely exists but yeah it could still be hot allowed to exist it's allowed to exist it's just gonna be hotter next year trace mcsorley throw it on a dime all I'm sorry Alright I've got Bunk

Bunk is going to be Hot I mean whether it's short for Bunker Bunkle Bunkerton Bunk's gonna be flying off the shelves in 2025 Yeah Guaranteed

I think we need more names Some more unisex names Just in general Yeah Zyler I like that Yeah Zyler

With an X Oh it's like Xavier and Skyler Zyler Yeah that's fun Yeah I've got Trelvin trellvin was big in the 80s and it is for sure going to be the biggest trend of the 2025s yeah the 2025s yeah you're you're familiar with the girl named chastity yeah there isn't a guy's name

that implies you know purity in a child yeah so i'm gonna go chast i like that thank you yeah maybe chaz for short probably just chast yep or not okay i've got honk honk i mean that's fun like that's my buddy honk like you know that guy's gonna be a blast yeah or he's gonna be a fucking problem after a couple drinks he might be he does sound like honk he comes into the bars oh you could do that like if you're trying to get his attention you can be like this yeah um my last this is the dumbest thing we've ever done my last one is my last one my last one is

Brayson Brayson Brayson I like that this was a funny one like when you're covering I was like this is just

nonsense so dumb it's gonna be great though Stephen King novels though yeah do you want to do some Stephen King books that don't exist yeah

my first one is should we tee it up yeah sure tee it up oh you say you say I already said it oh oh he did

sorry alright these are Stephen King books that don't exist. Well, it's good to have us both say it in case the first one pops up. These are Stephen King books that don't exist. These are fucking Stephen King books. That doesn't exist.

These are Stephen King books. And they do not exist. These are Stephen King books that don't exist. Oh my god. My first one is Shut up. Okay. whoa i didn't mean it she told us to shunt up

oh sorry i've got deep space i love it two astronauts get sent up to the iss yep it's gonna be funny because in the clip you're like when it comes to you you're crying we should do we should leave it because it's like why is that guy crying all right i've got deep space yeah these two astronauts there's a guy and a girl get sent up they're like the first people to go to this new international space station they're gonna be the first two up there when they get up there she starts feeling like really weird like about this guy like he's clear there's something off about him she doesn't feel safe

around him and he's like she gets the feeling that he like might be trying to kill her it's very strange they're out on a spacewalk and uh he fucking unclips her tether and like kind of like pushes her out into space and she like scrambles and like gets her way back but she's like not really sure that he did it and it's like kind of this she's avoiding getting murdered by this guy the whole time jesus that's not like the worst place to be the murderer is the iss this alone alone yeah that's good all right i've got cookie cutter yeah um it's a these this people this couple moved into a neighborhood it's like a suburban neighborhood with all these cookie cutter houses that's expanding it's this big vast neighborhood that they're kind of in the heart of

and they start to realize over the over the first few days and weeks that they're there that the only people that actually exist are, like, the, like, five houses immediately surrounding them. Oh, weird. And that everywhere else is just, like, empty houses where, like, the lights come on and off, but there's, like, no one in them. Yeah, it's like a nuke town almost. Yeah, and they realize that

it feels normal, but it's only what they can see, like, in their immediate vicinity. Weird. Um, and they start getting spooked and I won't spoil the ending. You have to read the rest to find out. Yeah. Wait, that sounds like... Is that from something? creepy yeah for sure if you for sure if we google creepy movie it'll come out

well i'm oh my very oh my gosh you guys this is the oh it's literally a movie already i've ever seen in my life i'm not kidding you it's oh yeah i have i've seen a trailer for this it's but you still came up with it no no no you did but i just this is exactly it i just it's close they raise a baby they like raise this kid and then he grows up to be like evil it's so it's yeah sorry i just it reminded me but i like yours more really and i like the name okay thank you okay i've got the chair the chair is there's this boy and he's raised in like this rural area new hampshire and he's been paralyzed his whole life like from the waist down so he's in a wheelchair but he lives like this happy life he's homeschooled he doesn't really have any

like friends because it's so secluded where they live yeah he starts he finds like a trunk or something and it has like evidence that might suggest that like he was kidnapped and that these aren't his real parents and that he actually wasn't born with this like spine disease like they they did it to him so that he would be he couldn't like run away and then he has to get away and he finds out that these people killed his real parents and kidnapped him and brought him out here now he has to figure out how to get away i like there is a movie that's like that though where they like well it's like gypsy rose's story kind of kind of yeah but there's a movie like that where like the girl like she's giving her oh yeah shit fuck i knew that sounded familiar she's

giving her like medication that's supposed to be for a dog that makes like not be able to walk wasn't that a true story well i think that's the gypsy rose's thing i was told she had these things like hey i mean everything is inspired by something in some way it seems like i directly ripped that one off no i mean no no it's just like if we post this every comment i don't give a fuck it's okay it doesn't matter yeah it's promise i promise okay i've got ev it's a sequel to et no uh i've got ev it's about um a bunch it's like a future society not that far in the future like 10 years from now where everyone's got like teslas basically and which is killer but all of a sudden

they just start driving people off the road into trees and killing them and it keeps happening and they are basically starting to slowly realize that it was all this evil strategy to kill people and to like be able to

control the population but everyone is using them so everyone is just kind of driving like terrified and it just keeps happening that these people people are doing bad things and then immediately face it's like basically the government is using these cars to like instead of taking people to trial and stuff they just like drive them off the road into trees if they need to get rid of them wild it's kind of feels like some sort of like right-wing conspiracy

theory like about electric vehicles beginning of uh remember in bird box the beginning yeah when yeah but i forget the sandra bullock yeah yeah i don't think i big during covid yeah yeah yeah kind of yeah okay um i've got the jester so there's this there's this king and he uh he wears a mask right and and he has this jester that entertains him and he treats the jester really shitty and they like kind of just like make fun of the jester all day and like abuse him and he's had enough of it and so he kills the king and assumes the role of king by just putting the mask on and pretending he's king but then other people in his like court start to have suspicion so it like he has to kill those people and then it's like way too much to deal with and he's just

freaking the fuck out because he's like i'm way too deep into this to leave i like that i like the idea that the way that they're catching on to him is that he's like way funnier he keeps cracking like killer jokes yeah they remember the king having that kind of stuff in his arsenal The table is just like roaring with laughter and then there's like one guy at the end of the table being like Yeah. He's red hot. Alright. I've got Encore

which is basically, it's called Encore it follows a band who there's these horrible things keep happening at their shows like people are getting killed like collapsing dying and it's always right

like before the Encore like when they leave the stage before they come back on and what they what you slowly start to realize is that there's like this fan who's like gone completely psycho basically and is so obsessed with like the set list every night she like follows them around and she wants to hear specific songs she always like is messaging them and requesting songs and then if they don't play the song she wants she like kills someone to like freak everyone out at their shows to try to hold them hostage and get the perfect set list she wants interesting and she doesn't like their new

stuff she hates the their new stuff she hates her new stuff because they just don't have that same indie sound they used to yeah yeah they got into mainstream i thought you were gonna say like it happens when like in the moment between when their set ends and when they're gonna do the encore so it's like them going into the crowd because that's the one moment that they're gone oh well maybe that's a twist yeah all right maybe you shouldn't spoil the end of my book i've got have you ever read a stephen king book no i feel like we're just doing like horror things i did a little bit of research but i i was gonna mention to you like it's clear i think it's gonna be abundantly clear i know nothing about stephen king yeah i think we're

also like i think his stuff is more like there's like supernatural so i he's he's written a lot of books and some of them are like this okay but there are ones that are the most popular ones are like you know other shit yeah i just don't yeah all right i've got plague i've got third weird noise of the day yeah what is this a fucking tally how many how many tell i'm out what is this i got three strikes um plague takes place in a rural uh island kind of like on the canada main border okay right and um like like um prince edward island or whatever it's fucking called newfoundland newfoundland newfoundland um what a lazy name i know things that need better names newfoundland do you ever hear why they named greenland greenland iceland

iceland no to tourism no yeah the vikings wanted to like throw people off they don't want so they named the icy one greenland and the the green one iceland so that people would like go to the wrong one that's funny yeah i want to go to greenland um so a plague overwhelms this small town the virus makes people like bloodthirsty and want to kill and the government's like we just need to seal this shit off and like let it figure itself out like we can't let these people go um and we hear the story from like the one one of like the five uninfected families who are just like trying to batten down the hatch as well yeah all this shit goes on around them that one sucks i'm sorry no i don't think so at all fuck okay i've got wipe out oh nice it's about a evil shark

and it keeps eating surfers and like there's not just surfers keep dying no it's a normal size shark but basically they figure out they come to find out that it's the shark is just really concerned about like surfing etiquette so like if anyone like cuts the line or like whatever like the shit that like surfers get mad about the shark those are the people that keep dying so um maybe it's like a man shark it's a mark yeah it's a sham shan sure yeah it's a man it's a man shark probably i like that a lot it has legs on the bottom it's like a normal shark that just has two feet like in harry potter when they turn into oh yeah what um remember in the yeah uh fuck why am i a fire why am i spacing on he's like the best yeah yeah yeah and he has victor

crumb yeah victor crumb turns into a shark for the thing where you have to go save people at the bottom of the oh can you look up victor crumb shark victor crumb shot yeah wait no oh my god yeah oh shit yeah so scary it's a crazy picture this scene actually scarred me I think I've always wondered how did they get the people from not drowning

like presumably they've been under there for hours yeah because they said last night we snuck in and we took something important to all of you whatever my last one is called Camp Wabanaki um the camp is uh in maine and people go there and they're having a good time but then people

start disappearing like into the woods they'll like hear these like chants and like they're like intrigued by them so they follow it in they're never seen again and they find out that the camp was built on an old indian burial ground and the ghosts are uh claiming you know innocent uh camp souls to try and pay back the debt of building a camp on their burial ground jesus christ creepy jesus fuck that actually happened that's insane no that is good although so it makes i don't know i kind of mailed that one in okay i won't follow it up then no no no ask me follow up well is it yeah is it painting the native the indians in a good yeah i did say no you can say this is you can say it i don't think you can't i took a class in college called

the plains indians with heather cox richardson she's a pretty famous historian she's the like most subscribed newsletter in america i swear to god okay like email news okay i finally get it tell us the story yeah i'm just saying that's not the part we're hung up on i'm establishing her credibility as a source here okay yeah yeah and jesus christ you guys hate this story but she said that she said that you could call them the Indians and a lot of the tribes don't like that we're now trying to backtrack and call them

Native Americans because it's like we're all different people that have our individual names that you just lumped in as Indians so don't try to backtrack now to like make yourselves look better like they're the

oh oh oh you're saying we shouldn't say Indians we should say no i'm she's saying like a lot of them are fine with indians but the only reason we call them indians because we thought we found india yeah but we were just wrong they're also also calling them native americans is like not like it's just like us trying to try to backtrack so i guess neither of them are good no they like i like you say indians i'm saying you can say i feel like if i called a native american an indian if i call a member of the cherokee tribe and an indian they would be like what well you should call them a cherokee that's what i'm saying is that they

prefer to be identified by their individual that's what i said yeah yeah so but native americans isn't any better than indians like tribes that don't exist go wax my coochie what i'm not gonna wax your coochie whoa wax a hatchie yeah it's a band my fingers are like freezing right now like numb really isn't that weird yeah yeah mine are totally normal If anything, we're piping hot. All right, what's your last Stephen King book, Will? Didn't I do five already? Oh, did you?

Well, this was just a blast. Oh, The Gardener. Okay, yeah. The Gardener. A bunch of people in this town keep dying from having their throats chopped open, and they can't figure out what's doing it, and then they figure out it's a gardening tool. Throats chopped open is such a wild visual. It's not cut open, and their head's not getting cut off.

It's just getting chopped open. Chopped open because the gardener uses their blood to grow his evil plants. Oh, and they do his bidding? The plants? Yeah. No, they just are evil. That sounds very Stephen King. Nice.

Yeah. All right. Anything else on your chest, Will? I mean, I have one more thing about Native Americans, but I'm dropping. Indians, fuck. Yeah, I'm going to fuck. Lauren, whose personality are you going to steal this from? Oh, no.

You can't keep asking me first because I'm never going to be prepared. I was trying to brainstorm. Maybe. what's going on these days um peter dinklage is that your friend no he's the he's uh like the most famous little person oh oh oh yeah yeah peter dinklage is not your friend i don't think so did i meet him i want to be his friend yeah i do too but should we have him on the podcast yeah sure whose personality are you stealing i'm gonna steal peter dinklage i'm gonna steal you know i think i'm gonna be myself this week i'm gonna try to be myself

i like that i think that's a good one i haven't been myself in weeks oh wait fun little fact my sister jane is starting her next travel contract in boston this weekend very cool she's gonna live in boston for the next three weeks or three months nice i'll visit her i know you guys would be excited about that i'm gonna be in um i'll be in boston on the 14th june yeah i may be going for memorial day yeah i'm gonna try to go i've never i've only i only went when i was a little bit excuse for you to come with us next time we go yeah that'd be fun boston trip we do a pod there oh that'd be kind of sick all righty i'm stealing oh yeah sorry it's okay i'm stealing the troops personality god bless them because i

of them where even are they right now fucking all over fort something i can't remember there's a fort williams in cape that i always go to when i was a kid and my friend luke banal said that he went to visit and he was like i'm in your hometown and i was like cool and him and his girlfriend were at fort williams and he said he tried to jump off one of the forts and he landed on a rock weird and fell down the hill in front of like 30 kids and they all made fun of him jesus yeah sounds like a nightmare it does sound like a nightmare all right guys great episode we love you thank you for listening we will see you uh next wednesday have a great rest of your week and a beautiful weekend uh what should they comment your favorite song at the moment i don't know

what people are listening to yeah oh i've been listening to a ton of vampire weekend the new album is so good i highly recommend i've been listening to dualipa's new album i'm obsessed i was at karaoke with doja cat when he was there gaslight yeah did she sing so it was it was like a month ago yeah and i was with these people and they were some friends i had made and they were like yeah dude doja cat was there and i thought they were all doing a bit and then i saw the guy that i was with that night yesterday and he was like i still can't believe that doja cat thing did you see she was there this weekend too and i was like were you guys not joking she's like no apparently she goes

and frequents Gaslight is that this small place near like Culver or am I making that up it's in Santa Monica it's like on Wilshire oh I'm thinking of

but apparently that's like she goes and sings at this karaoke bar that's sick yeah that's pretty wild yeah huh alrighty

actually also comment comment a new segment you'd like to see yeah we've been doing this thing where we just add segments and don't take any out well

this is coming up on an hour or two hours so oh let's go yeah alrighty love it

alright we'll see you guys Love you guys. Bye. Peace. Let's stop looking away and get in the way of rising poverty. Your donations help the United Way fight poverty in thousands of ways, like providing food, shelter, and crisis prevention.

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