Will & Rusty's Playdate - most insane episode yet

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL: https://www.youtube.com/@playdatepod?sub_confirmation=1  JOIN US IN SUPPORT OF BEST BUDDIES: https://www.bestbuddieschampion.org/maine/supporting/#willandrustysplaydate&donate/5363257/0 GUESTS AND INQUIRIES: [e-mail] MERCH: https://playdatepod.shop/  SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS: Download Cash App Today: [https://click.cash.app/ui6m/ba1zl21n] #CashAppPartner Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Order your LUCY today by going to https://www.lucy.co/Friday and use promo code FRIDAY for 20% off your first order. Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @shop.mando and get 20% off + free shipping with promo code PLAYDATE at shopmando.com! #mandopod Playdate: https://www.instagram.com/playdate.pod https://www.tiktok.com/@playdatepod Willy: https://www.instagram.com/willdonnellon https://www.tiktok.com/@willydonnellon Rusty: https://www.instagram.com/featherstonerusty https://www.tiktok.com/@rustyfeatherstone RUSTY’S SONGS OF THE DAY: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e5sF4pBj2HBZDoMhymnNf?si=w38C4sjDT6i4OIXq9f_eSg  SUBMIT YOUR BUSINESS PITCH HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdPHd7Ps9TaX-TOozyLhDpr9Y7pFNMP9PX7cHuLxap1R78GWg/viewform?usp=header SUBMIT YOUR AITA STORY HERE: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdQElfqdQutn3dzl5HcZfey6YWhbVd-n6XE7FkpfosWZyYhyA/viewform?usp=sf_link 00:00 - intro 3:41 - MUG tailgate time 9:23 - high school teachers 13:50 - wall of shame 28:30 - willy sneaks into the party 35:40 - covid talk 38:30 - trying the viral oreo-reeses collab 44:30 - willy’s crypto wallet 48:00 - going woke 57:47 - roadmap 1:00:30 - pitches 1:08:10 - aita 1:13:34 - this guy rocks 1:20:12 - teach me something  1:25:00 - the office plots that don’t exist 1:29:00 - drinking games that don’t exist 1:33:33 - rsotd #AlmostFriday #FridayBeers #PlaydatePod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Where some see heroes and others see egos, Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. A fad to some, the future of money to others. We see crypto's trillion dollar swings, the end of jobs, or the end of human struggle. We see the endless funds fueling the AI hype. While others follow the noise, we follow the money. Learn more at bloomberg.com.

Next thing I knew, I had that dog. Next thing I knew, I had that dog on me. Worlds apart, you and I. Ooh, that could be something. Is that something? All right, let's talk about it. I'm not wearing a belt today either. Come on.

Belt check, but I got shorts on, so that would be weird if I was. yes we are so back whoo playdate episode 144 and we forgot to do 143 wait we skipped one we didn't do it last episode i noticed we just never said the number yeah on accident i think so what the fuck quinn hughes is what 43 was a hockey player for the devils troy palomalo oh good if you look these i did not no Quinn Hughes and Troy Palomaro.

Quinn Hughes is famously 43. I think his brother is also, Luke Hughes is also 43. Yeah, but like, why would you know that? 43 is like, I think one of the Sedin twins is 43 too. You Google this shit. I swear, I swear. All right, how about, you ready for my 44 poll? Yeah.

Fuck, what's that guy's name on the, no, he's the fullback for the Ravens. Patrick Ricard. Patrick Ricard? Come on. Pull of the year. Fuck! Fuck!

Michael Phelps age. Kyle Juszczyk. Lorenzo Neal. 40. Lorenzo Neal. I think you might have been good with Kyle Juszczyk. That was good, actually. What is he?

Number? Number 44. Number 44? nice can you pull up lorenzo neal just i just want to look at him damn i almost went juice chick first all right anyway remember when we were like maybe we shouldn't just start every episode just naming random athletes this episode is brought to you by cash app cash app cash app cash me that chap how are you man oh i'm okay i'm uh get this my emotions right now or get this i'm fucking fine my emotions are really tied to my baseball team right now that was huge last night

that's a massive that was you watching it i was in and out of my room and passing it on the living room tv oh they were your roommates were watching it z was watching it you guys were down five one six one it was yeah our david peterson who was our ace and it was an all-star this year has completely blown up he's like a 12 era in his last five starts and uh he did it again it's like one of those where it's like he's so obviously dog shit now but it's like he was so good earlier in the year he's earned the right to go fuck up right like we have to still send him out yeah it's kind of like uh it's kind of like you and i doing this pod yeah it's like we they're like they were earned capital they were hot a couple months ago let's just let them fight through this slump but

yeah they um but then the bats came alive frankie alvarez of the big dinger i'm very happy anyway but they need to keep winning yeah and here's the thing if they win if they make the playoffs and the dodgers win the division they'll be playing in la tuesday a week from yesterday or when you're listening to this episode it'll be tomorrow nice are you gonna go and i'll be there yeah obviously and tuesday and wednesday and then thursday we'll have to fly out so i can't go to that game but where are we going on thursday we are going to ann arbor michigan right why do you say ooh like that no i said ann arbor's sick no you didn't you went we're on the clip there's no way he went i went i said ann arbor no i like ann arbor i'm excited for that i like ann arbor as

well ann arbor's cool they it's a cool college town they got last time i went there i really like there were all the streets were closed down like just for fun it was awesome all the streets were closed it was like they were like hella street like i love when a street is blocked off not for like an event it's just like we realized it'd be better if people could just walk around and they could do outdoor seating in the streets i see like it was just like cool vibes it's like the old coffee shops kind of has like a fun young like like intellectual progressive vibe like i feel like living my mom always said living around college campuses is always the move because it's like it's just like there's like cool it's like feels young and like that's interesting i feel

like 99 of people would say they do not like every neighbor that i had when i was living in college no not like that part of it but like in like communities that are built by like not like in like the party area but like we lived right by like franklin and marshall when i was in lancaster and that was nice or like cool little bagel shops like i feel like there's a cool like stuff okay i see what you're saying built around like i would be i don't know what i'm saying no i i see what you're saying now i will say green spaces on the campus there's like it's it would be cool unless you live near one like there were probably only like five houses at each small college yeah that are kids you don't want to live near what we always moved into neighborhoods and

We'd be like the only college house in that neighborhood, and they hated us. I mean, that was, yeah. When I moved to Charleston, I think I've told that story, but we moved into, if you went to College of Charleston, we moved into Jasper Street, which is- The pink house. Yeah, like the most cooked college party block of the year, I guess. The cooked college party block sounds like an awesome place. And every night, my parents woke up to people like, they would ding-dong ditch us, these

fucking dickheads. And, yeah. That's so funny. yeah i uh i think i've told this story but there was we moved into a neighborhood when i was a sophomore in college was the first time i lived off campus and every one of our neighbors hated us and one one guy's wife sent him over to shut down the party and he came over and he was like you guys need to like tone it down it's 11 p.m yeah we were like all right all right just come inside like let's have a beer we'll settle this and he stayed with us until like four in the

morning it was like and then he never hassled us again because i think i think he was so ashamed of like partying with like 19 we were literally like 19 years old that he was he was like i can never say i can't show face you like how many how many mug mug and yerbas do you have going right now we're going on that weekend oh i got that i got a new one um fuck i was just singing i was excited to sing in front of the pod it was like about um haven't even drank my mug i own that here's my here's my i was gonna wait let me say one thing too it's because it's not just because the college kids too it's because of the professors what like the professors oh that's it would be enjoyable to live in a college town because they're like professors like on our

street by f and m like a bunch of our neighbors are like professors i feel like a lot of times like they're like interesting people like people go yeah maybe you can like pick up like some sage some of them definitely blow but like they're generally like pretty like interesting yes smart thoughtful people like good community members right like i think i think that there's good senses of community built in these types of spaces yeah i don't know i had a professor that i thought i thought was like kind of a dork at the beginning of the year like he wasn't there was nothing wrong with him but it was just like i don't think this guy and i really see eye to eye on life and then i was walking to class one time i thought he was like a really buttoned up kind of

just like nerdy guy and i walked past him on the way into class i didn't realize he biked to class it was like all right cool guy move yeah 100 and then he was he was leaning on his bike smoking a cigarette and then came in and taught our class and i was like everything i took everything i thought i knew about the guy and threw it out the door i go this guy this guy's awesome because yeah he's smoking but he also bikes to work it was like there's a little bit of like irony there i just liked it i like that a lot i one time found out my favorite teacher in middle school smoked cigarettes yeah and i started telling everyone i just thought it was like cool goss and then our one of the other teachers harmeen said shut up you don't talk about her

that way and i was like all right i didn't really i just thought it was like crazy wait so you how did you find out she was smoking he was how did you find out way to assume that the girl was smoking cigarettes it's always the same with you the no i don't know he was like my favorite teacher and i forgot oh one of the other teachers yeah was like you know he's he's like i she was like i tried to set him up with my daughter but apparently she said she smelled the cigarettes right away and said no go and then i was like damn he smoked cigarettes then i just started telling everyone i was like this i got gossip like i'm telling everyone she's not like it's not really that that hot of gossip i guess i felt like at that age it felt pretty dramatic yeah

especially at least in my household like did you ever have you run into a teacher at a bar ever um bar teacher no never never done a bar teacher do you have any uh teachers bang students in high school um current students yeah no i don't you guys didn't have that that's like a federal crime Yeah, I just assumed everyone had, like, one story. You had one? Yeah, I had one like that. At your high school? At my high school, yeah.

How'd it feel? I could mock for a week. No. No, he, like, was, like, our media studies teacher. And I really wanted to take his class because he did, like, the morning announcements where the kids would, like, be, like, news reporters. And so one day after class, I went to his room, and he wasn't there. and so i went to our studio and i tried to open the door and it was locked the studio's never locked and so like i knock on the door and he opens it like a crack like just peeps his like

face in and he goes hey what and i'm like hey come can i come in i wanted to discuss like my schedule next year with you and everything and he goes uh yeah real quick and he like lets me in the studio and i walk in and on the couch there's a girl like sitting there and she's giving me like daggers like get the fuck out right now is this a true story yes okay this is 100 true is this gonna be a tv show no no no no no it's not a break i swear dude if we get like one tree hilled right now we're getting no no no this is very real no no this is very real so she's giving me like daggers like get out and he's like pushing me out the door he's like yep schedule looks great didn't even look at it like you can go or whatever pushes me out the door i'm like that was a weird

interaction i'm like what was that and then a week later everyone's like did you hear like mr so-and-so got fired and i was like what they're like yeah apparently he was banging a student and i go was it the girl with the eyebrows and they go yeah how did you know and i go oh my god i totally like walked in on them hooking up like last week was she 18 at least no god no god dude that's so bad also like did most of the i'm sorry did most of the girls at your high school not have eyebrows that's what you're hung up on right now i'm sorry you're right yeah but then like a year later a year later i found him on instagram and he proposed with like the tiniest ring to her let me see if i can just get oh you motherfucker no that was what that was

is that real i but that was oh my god that's horrible yeah wait also like why would he let you in i mean because i think it would be like it would be more suspicious if it was like yeah just a crack i feel like this is like a totally normal occurrence in my life like we had an english teacher no this is not who was like obsessed with one of the guys in our class and she'd always be like oh keegan can you like use your big muscles to like move these deaths move these books for me because he was like i think he was on like steroids or something that year because he was like he got big like fast yeah and uh and she would always like reference his muscles all the time in class that's really weird willie i think maybe it's because you went

to academic magnet and they're just like weren't and they're where they're like there probably weren't as many hot guys yeah what you haven't seen what i look like in high school i was a fucking willie and i were just talking about how willie was 14 from the age 14 until 20 some of the clips that like he looks people will like i'm like that's not willie i was just you want to see a funny photo the one i was just showing him yeah i just got like a notification that was like uh uh whatever like this year in history like can i airdrop this to you yeah you ever have a time hop that app no like it would like take all your old facebook status and all that oh yes yeah i think i do know what you're talking about this is me and scott this is going into senior year of

high school or of college sorry going into senior year of college wow i look fried yeah it looks like that it looks like you guys had a big night yeah i think we're just high on pot we used to go sit on his roof it was awesome that's what i that was like right when i met scott so you were like 22 yeah i was 21 i feel like you're in college as a scene this is going into senior year gotcha i turned 21 right at the beginning so maybe i was technically 20 in this photo if it was before my birthday if i was a bouncer i'd be doing all the tricks with your id man you're about you've doing tricks on it yeah that thing crazy trick got me with that thing i wouldn't did i ever i was just thinking about like you know they make like a wall of shame of like ids that got

stolen or whatever yeah there was a there was a kid in my one of my like business classes we like sat next to each other in econ he was like really quiet nice kid whatever and a buddy of said that he went to like a massage parlor and the kid's face was on the like wall of shame like this guy's never allowed back here oh no and it was one of those places where like there were there were some extracurricular oh yeah i feel like maybe you've talked about this on the pod we were trying to figure out like what the what the thing you would have to do at this place yeah that i've heard like crazy stuff goes down is like he must have thrown he must have had to like throw something through the window because he yeah but like completely sweet normal kid and

then there was just like security they like pulled it from the security cam of him going like ballistic and it was on the wall it's always a quiet one i had something funny happen i was thinking about nice may i share please no cool let's just let's get in the room no i want to no let's just go to the right no i'm kidding i'm kidding i'm just like always talking i want you guys to like demand me um i when i was in tcu when i was in fort worth texas i went there was like that friday that i was just there alone with nothing to do so i was like i'm gonna go work at a coffee shop and i went to this coffee shop and i was working at this coffee shop as one does what are you doing oh like working at the coffee shop i thought you meant like i'm gonna go pick up a

i was like what are you taught i didn't in my i was like i didn't know that was a thing you could do that's what i thought too and immediately was like what a dumbass thought yeah like we have some sort of like pick up a shift we have some work share program where like if you work at almost friday you can go work at any coffee shop in the nation and if you work at a coffee shop you can like come in and clock in here for a little bit sorry so you go to work at a coffee right and then a barista does the podcast what part of this is confusing um no and then like these college kids these teens you know frat boys probably no they were like i don't know whatever college kids and they were like sitting over there and there's kind of a crew and people were coming and going

and yapping it seemed fun it was reminding me of my college days it was so fun in college when you would like go to like a coffee shop and like there was a girl sitting next to me that it felt like everyone who walked in she was like oh hey like what's up like it's just it made me miss like and then they one of them's like i couldn't really hear them because my headphones in but they were like something like he had like a spray bottle he's like isn't this crazy like i'm gonna totally get him later i think it was like a fart spray or something and someone was like wait let's see how bad it is or something and he like tries it out and they're all like oh gross fart spray and they all like clear out and leave and i'm like that was like weird why would you like try

it out if it's fart spray or not move it and i'm like okay whatever i go back it wafts i mean i was like one table over it comes and hits me and so i'm like but like i don't know in the moment i was like i don't want them to like feel really bad that they ruined my day so i was trying to play it cool so i just kind of ate the fart spray for like five minutes and until it went away i didn't move like i didn't want to be dramatic and get them be like oh get out why they don't know why they screwed up i know but they they seemed like they were having so much fun they were like young and they were like oh like oh the fart spray the birthright like if i got up and was like throwing up like i think it would have like ruined their day you should have you should have

thrown up all over yourself they like fart sprayed me but they were having so much fun that i felt bad they fart sprayed me and i was i felt bad for getting fart sprayed by them well i think that's a testament to how nice of a guy you are i don't know i think i was being a pussy if somebody did that in a coffee shop that i was sitting at and it wafted over to me i would make a scene i i couldn't believe it honestly i was like how did they not think of why would they spray fart spray in a coffee shop because they're idiots yeah one time i was playing with this girl's pepper spray nice is that like a euphemism was it like on her keychain i always do that too and they always look so fun yeah and i am always convinced that they don't work because i've never actually like

seen them in action so i was like oh like let me just like spray a little bit in this like trash can in this tiny room that like 30 of us are all in so i just do one tiny little spray and apparently like one tiny spray can like fumigate an entire room it's like all you need yeah i had no idea i mean i feel like i see on like yeah i wouldn't have expected that either cops cops will like spray people's eyes for like 10 minutes you know like the guy's like completely detained on the ground and still like ah it's kind of fun and it was like the worst time too because everybody there was doing this like confessional thing like people were like coming out like as gay and things like that what was this what was this it was like a cult in college yeah but yeah i mean

you were going through your like scientology i thought you were just like hanging out in a room i didn't want to get into like the nitty-gritty let's get into the nitty-gritty okay so i was in this organization it was called fish camp and it's like obviously freshman orientation right and so like ours was a summer camp for fishing but sorry i'm being dead serious well we also did that but like a big part of it was like they were like you got to learn who you are before you help freshmen find who they are so they took it to like a very like deep level and so like in order to do that we would do these like exercises to like figure out who we are one of the things we would do was called like i am an aggie and and then you would just like

say right like something about yourself wait did you say kids were coming out so they were like i'm an aggie and i'm gay one girl like came out to us for like the first time whoa okay and you were like this is a good time to pepper spray i know i am a really bad person like i feel i like it keeps me up at night like a fire hose i had already sprayed the trash can when people were doing these like confessionals but it was horrible because like you know like this girl is like trying to come out and have this really deep moment and everyone's just like and like sneezing and coughing people had to like leave the room because they were coughing so much and it ended up like fumigating like the whole like student center because that's where we

were and so like ever since then that organization is banned from using the student center did they know it was you they didn't know it was me but they knew it was like someone in the organization there's like one kid that farted like right before you did it and everyone's like vomiting in their eyes really yeah he left the school were you like you were like an advisor of like new of like incoming freshmen yeah did you did they have rules like you can't hook up with like the freshmen we did have like really weird rules i think that would like they were like not they were like not supposed to like if they saw us out at a bar they were supposed to like not talk to us yes oh i had this thing called freshman league yeah it was like two seniors and like eight freshman dudes and like

we'd meet every week and kind of like go through stuff and whatever and i my one freshman league captain i always like wanted to be friends with yeah and uh yeah one time i saw him out and i was like come on let's go and he's like i can't legally like hang out with you and so i just like followed him around i remember like i'm here i'm here if you ever in my mind in my mind he wanted me to do that he just didn't want his hands on it in hindsight he definitely was like get away for me yeah we had a we had a similar thing it was called rcc where it was like a mandatory class yeah and then there were like two kids in the grade above you that were like supposed to kind of like show you the ropes and they'd like take us out for ice cream and stuff and we were all

like in love with one of them and uh and the rule they were like hard and fast rules like first day of class they were like we're not allowed to hook up with you guys we're not allowed to like be out in public with you we're not allowed to like do whatever and this kid jack was like very straightforward and like i think asked like when are we allowed to hook up and everyone was like what and she was like when the class is over and then they hooked up when the class was legend that was a great that was actually a great idea like kind of planted the seed like like when this when it is legal i am so down that's funny so we had we had like policy is what it was called but we had an actual like firm deadline and did you do the mics pick up pick it

up i like turn up the mics when he does good you're also doing you're always like angling it at me it's like a wind tunnel right now it is hard to argue with that it's like slanted this i can see it through the hole in your shorts my hole no i can like see like where it's coming from oh i could see it it's like hey coming i'm those but continue i'm sorry but i have something i want to say too don't let me forget well i was just gonna say so um wait for the record this all we do is talk on this you're gonna we're gonna have time i just want to have time to get to everyone's stories here so it was like a it was like a hard deadline but nobody knew what it was they would just like send an email and the hard deadline of like now we can all now now

policies off you can like hook up you can drink with these people like whatever and we would host what was called acp which was after camp policy um making like direct i got that he refuses to look at me after he does it like when you know your dog pooped somewhere in the house but he keep going app so it was called it was called app and we would have like a star chart at the parties do you know have you guys ever done a star chart like no i don't think it's basically like tasks that you would have to do throughout the night wait these are with the kids you've been like mentoring the whole year are you a senior because that would be if you were a senior and they were freshmen that would be so funny it was like kiss it's so clear that andrew made the

chart and it's like take a body shot off andrew's ass and he's sitting in the corner so the freshmen weren't invited to it it was just like right the fish camp there was no intermingling between not until like after i mean like there was but like you weren't allowed to be like official until but we couldn't even know i got it so like you could be 21 with someone else like in your like organization but like you couldn't drink together until after weird i don't know they send it they send an email and it's like the purge and it's like you guys can all fuck now and everyone just like well like sprints this one house yeah that's awesome everyone drops what they're doing and it's like putting a condom on like as you're running to the new place

all right let's talk about it i'm talking about cash app come on come on i've been cash apping so much lately my fingers are starting to hurt you've been you've been ca-ing up a storm i yesterday i asked andrew if we could just cash app each other back and forth it's a blast we spent four and a half hours cash apping each other back and forth we got no work done it's true it's so much fun have you heard the noise it makes you have your ringer on yeah well dude i'm i just think about my first day my first job when i was like scrounging for cash in college if i had the cash app and i could have gotten my payday a little bit earlier come on that would have been massive uh i don't know if you guys are up to speed already but cash app is way more than just

a safe way to send and receive money okay with the cash app card you unlock a ton of perks without all the fees you can enjoy benefits like early access exclusively to nationwide concert pre-sales whether that's kendrick the weekend sabrina carpenter fred eaglesmith plus discounts on everyday purchases and popular brands you're probably already spending money on cash app also adds security to your money by declining suspicious card transactions sending you notification to make sure the payment is really you if your cards ever lost or stolen you could lock it in with just one tap right in the app so spend with confidence with the cash app card today for a limited time new cash app customers can earn ten dollars if they use code friday 10 in their profile at sign

up and send five dollars to a friend within 14 days terms apply cash app is a financial services platform not a bank banking services provided by cash apps bank partner prepaid debit cards issued by sutton bank member fdic discounts provided by cash app a block ink brand visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures guys cash app is the best go download it and use code friday 10 mando i love telling you guys about mando come on guys falls here we got some crisp air football it's barbecue season it's all sorts of fun stuff happening yes maybe a bonfire too but if you're like most guys

you're still putting in that hard hard work and yeah that means you're going to sweat a little bit sue me yeah I'm lifting stuff I'm hauling lumber I'm a guy we're guys we're going to chop down an entire oak tree and haul it through the woods by ourselves and guys don't let odor

put you on the sideline for all this fun stuff that's going to happen this fall Mando deodorant plus sweat control is for those real working guys out there it is built to stop odor before it starts and it doesn't just mask it with some overwhelming fragrance it truly eliminates it uh so you can take it from the job site to tailgating with confidence don't mask it mando it whoo uh i love mando i love the this this whole body deodorant the cream is kind of

a cheat code if you start stinking up maybe in your gooch or other parts of your body uh it's got clinical strength sweat control seriously uh it's it's the best uh the deodorant is redesigned re-engineered if you will to stop odor before it even starts so you don't ever have the odor okay it doesn't just mask it it prevents it from happening right 100 of study participants experienced all day odor protection 100 guys mando starter pack is perfect for new customers it comes with a solid stick deodorant cream tube deodorant and two free products of your choice like mini body wash or deodorant wipes and free shipping as a special offer for our listeners new customers get 20 off site wide with our exclusive code use code playdate at shop mando.com for 20

off site wide and free shipping that's s-h-o-p-m-a-n-d-o.com please support our show and tell them we sent you mando's got you covered with deodorant plus sweat control say goodbye to sweat stains and hello to long lasting freshness let's get back into the episode i was gonna say um oh i know what i was gonna say when i was in college it's technically i guess a sophomore but i was you know sort of ran in the junior crowd because of my year off uh but it was spring okay the last night of like senior year everyone all the seniors gather like in like the mods like the last night before graduation they gather like in the senior housing it's like a big party but this is 2021 so was like coming out of covid so everything was still really like strict especially in massachusetts

like there were limits on gatherings but i the college is kind of like a good gesture was like all right we're gonna like section off the mods it's all fenced in and everything when they got like police to like guard it and then they were like seniors you can all come in and you can like do whatever we're not gonna like regulate anything like we're gonna let you have one big night before graduation because you know we're kind of coming out of covid at this point uh and we i like was on tiktok live like drunk or something and a senior message like yo come on like they won't let us out if we leave the mods they won't let us back in like can you bring us pizza i was living off campus at the time like for the summer and i was like all right

yeah i can bring you pizza like whatever so i go to the pizza shop and i get three pizzas to bring these seniors they're like we'll pay you for it and as i'm walking up to this like fenced in policed like area where and like no one's had a cool party in a year at this point like this is the coolest party since covid started so this is like a big deal we were all jealous that they were in there as long as the pizzas i was like i think i saw was like walking up to meet me and i was just like this is like even once i was like i want to try something and i walked up i was like yeah pizza delivery uh mod 43b or i'm with the pizza company and they're like oh yeah get on there get on it they thought it was a pizza guy and just waved me into like

the most exclusive party of the year and i went in and i partied all night with the scene it was like in hindsight like it it didn't there's no way to represent how cool it felt at the time but like when i got back to my house everyone was like no fucking way it's like the video travis scott where he like opens the door and he's like come on yeah like what is that video it'll be like when you're when when your teacher sends you to the fourth grade class to ask for a glue stick yeah he's like get in well that was like kind of to a t yeah that's what i was like i couldn't freaking believe it i was just with because i was at that wedding with like a handful of buddies from college and we were talking about how like

weird of a time that was we had a our friend got like a party bus to take everyone downtown we pre-gamed at their house and it was like one of the more like known off-campus houses and kids were being idiots and like posting snapchats like just like panning across you remember that was like a thing that you would do if you're at a party you would like pan across the whole room which doesn't seem like a big deal until i got called into the like ifc office and they were like who they were like who was at this party or whatever and i was like i don't know what you're talking about and she slammed a list of just everyone it was literally like to a t i've never seen a more accurate list i was like how i was like that's not real how do you know that and

she was like we you know we have like ours that's not real how do you know how did you know that and i was like where are you getting this from you could just be writing down any names put down pictures someone had screenshotted every single like frame of this one person's videos and circled and just identified every single person and so we got like 150 kids got put on like academic probation because of this and it was like ridiculous dude all my i think i've said this but all my everyone i lived with sophomore year i then didn't live with junior year because i took that year off and they all got like suspended for a semester because they threw like a huge party in the basement oh they took bc took it like seriously

very very seriously yeah yeah i was in florida during it so it was like the that was what was confusing is is the campus was the only place that any covid rules were enforced like no bars closed no restaurants closed oh yeah we had we were full yeah honestly it's the reason i'm here though because i was me and my roommate were going so crazy that we started making tiktoks yeah yeah and the rest is history my roommate one year was in this like really hard online stats class and it was like notorious that you just like use check or like some kind of cheating device to like get through the class and uh he complained every day about like how hard the class was and me and all my roommates were like dude everybody cheats on the class just cheat he goes

dude i don't want to pay for check and we'd be like it's ten dollars a month like just just pay it like it's he's like literally failing the class he's like no i don't really want to do that complaints for like three months we're so annoyed we're like we'll literally pay for check for you if you just stop complaining he's like no i don't really want to do it that way whatever end of the the semester we get an email over christmas break and they're like uh so we have a list of everybody's name who cheated on this like online stats class and they were like and if you don't admit to it like right now then like uh we'll give you like a f star or something which is like worse than an f like it's like really bad for you yeah yeah yeah academic like i think if you get two you're like

kicked out of the school do you just get like an auto a no i mean he's still got like a c or something in the class but at least he didn't get like an f yeah you know on it you tried to get him to get an f and i tried to get him to get an f but he was literally the only name in the class that didn't get polled for cheating were you guys cheating on everything i don't think i learned a fucking that it was such a waste of money because i literally just i probably cheated on every single that's the thing is i was like poli sci major so i feel like it's during covid it got even harder to cheat because like everything just became essay based and stuff and you don't know english and i don't know english no but i feel like i i mean i definitely cheated like i took

i remember taking like astronomy senior year and i was like this is so fucking that was the other thing is like my last years of classes were such bullshit classes yeah but but like all my poli stuff i had to lock in but i liked it yeah i just kind of mailed it in i like the whole time i i tried i tried hard freshman and sophomore year i mean you were like a sophomore when it hit right i was a sophomore when i when it became clear oh no i was a freshman you're a second semester freshman entire college was covid if your parents lived within 50 miles of the school you could say you were living at home and so i think there were like four kids that like on paper lived at my parents house because we were just like i cannot go back to that to the dorm so those were

brutal. Oh, yeah. Being in a dorm, quarantined, would be horrible. You would, like, they would know if you were supposed to be quarantined and you, like, scanned out or something to, like, go grab Postmates or whatever, you'd get, like, get in a lot of trouble. Yeah. Yeah, it was great. Yeah.

This turned into, like, the COVID talk. Yeah, this turned into, like, like, the the videos where they're, like, we should make podcast equipment more expensive. We're, like, dude, COVID was covid was crazy insane you couldn't leave your house man you don't understand i couldn't leave my house into covid for even to go fucking i couldn't even go to like a fucking yeah

and um what else is going on there was a rumor that a picture leaked during covid of like the christian camp organization like all together with no mask it was like 200 people at like the height of covid and um i never saw the actual picture so i don't know if it actually existed but that was obviously not a lot of people's cup of joe finding out yeah i think that if i think that for covid with everything with the covid 19 and the dealing with it and social distancing and the vaccine is just the the virus and everything about it and the and everything that we went through made for that whole year it was just the the new normal right right it was like well my i guess my life is just out of a house now

for so my office is my bedroom now and i didn't i shouldn't have gone that hard right politically right well you know it was a frustrating time for us let it vent it out yeah i get it out i just feel like the disease was something that we were all reckoning with and dealing with and finding ways to deal with and there's mixed response as to how that played out right but that's already coming down too decisively and i feel like i should just kind of that's not my place all right here's a question i kind of liked it and i kind of didn't like it You're locked in a hotel room. You're given three options, okay?

Airhead Extremes, a Gatorade, or Dave's Hot Chicken, but it's the spiciest kind. What are you picking? Wait, what? I'm in a hotel room? I'll run it again. You're in a hotel room. You're locked in a hotel room. You got three options.

You got Airhead Extremes, a Gatorade, or Dave's Hot Chicken, but it's the spiciest kind. What are you choosing? I have a question for you. Yeah. Is my goal to get out of the hotel room? Yeah. You're trying to pick the lock. Yeah, I would say Gatorade, and then I would melt it into some sort of...

You would melt the Gatorade? No, I'd melt the bottle, and then I would mold it through the lock to create kind of a makeshift key, and then let myself out. Wrong. Airhead extremes, and you hang yourself. All right. Speaking of which, I have a surprise for you guys. No.

Let's go. It's airhead extremes? No. There's no way. No. It's not Dave's Hot Chicken, but the hottest... If it's Arrowhead Extremes, I feel like something weird is happening. Whoa!

Let's go. Reese's. Oreo Reese's. Let's go. What? Okay, this is what I was talking about. Did you get one for yourself? Whoa!

Wahoo! Okay, take one of mine. Here, here. I only want one. So take the last three of mine. All right, so for the people that missed this episode, I said I think this is my favorite candy I've ever had in my life. I need to cleanse my Pilat.

Your Pilates? Let's see if it holds up, because I will say I was pretty stoned when I took it. God, again? Oh, wow. Isn't that nuts? Yeah, that's very good. Do you not like it? No, it's good.

Oh, my God. I will say this. mine's way more mine tastes way more just like a reese's than last time they used to be more it tastes a lot like a reese's but the crunchy i kind of like reese's oreo wow i'll say it tastes exactly how i imagined it would taste i will say i think this is a pretty reese's heavy batch mine was way more oreo last time wow this is pretty good for you actually wow thank you andrew yeah thank you jesus christ that's good i should have a second surprise you guys no you do not yeah they have my water if you're coming over here is that yours

you got a second surprise yeah kinder eggs bro aren't those like illegal yes wait are they really across the border okay do you guys want harry potter hermione or ron okay i have a confession to me go ron i don't like milk chocolate that's fine you still want can i still hold it yeah dude this is insane yeah i want her money wait here's a question for you what is the difference bro what wait aren't these illegal in the u.s are they really i smuggled them wait why are they because there's a toy on the inside and it's a choking hazard so how did you know about these it looks like this one says

Final Assembly in the USA so they must have legalized them. Wait, how do you eat this? Because mine's like completely freeform. What? I thought it was like an egg. Oh.

Oh. You like dip it. Oh, this is the Quidditch edition. I think you have to like dip it. This is the best thing ever. My little brother Nacho when I lived in Spain used to love these things.

it's probably a horrible horrible podcasting but i'm having a fucking blast yeah i'm having a pretty good day too i i feel like um all right let's walk in here you really feel like you're losing your mind literally oh wait i think the person is a surprise because i got haggard you got haggard yeah merle haggard how's if you feel like you're losing your mind today I don't know sometimes in general I think sometimes just sitting in these chairs with like lights beaming on you just kind of makes you lose your mind

yeah I also think we got we're recording at a new time today because of a scheduling mishap and it has completely thrown off my whole day yeah I'm I'm also worried about

the Mets like in general or just missing it When you're a mid-sized business, you need every competitive advantage you can get, like an AI solution that works for you, not against you. SAP Grow is built with AI embedded at its core, working across every system, and it's ready to go from day one, so you can hit the ground running. Bring it with SAP Grow, AI cloud ERP for any size business. No, in general, I'm not worried about missing it.

They played fantastic last night. I mean, after David Peterson didn't want so to make a big error. Well, okay, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Survivor starts tonight. Come on, baby. Are you going to watch 8 a.m.? I am.

You know what I'm actually watching right now, which is getting spicy? You should be focusing on the podcast right now. What's getting spicy? I got it on Big Brother, man. Have you heard about this? Big Brother, man. I know what it is. I don't know anything about it.

Joe P. made it. um so if you don't know it's reality show joe pomeroy made big brother he used to work as a pa on it oh really okay that's pretty cool um basically like what is it 16 people live in a house for like three months everything's like on camera they're constantly mic'd up it's like survivor but like not on an island indoors yeah it's like indoor survivor um anyway the t is that there's a guy that went on the show who was in a seven-year relationship who uh has started canoodling with a girl also on the show whoa while there's like these live feeds going on 24 7 so his girlfriend has like released a public statement you can watch it live 24 7 24 7 what happens if

they like bone uh it's on camera whoa yeah i always like getting reality shows when they uh um they go to have sex like if you've ever seen temptation island like they'll they'll go to have sex and they're like if we just go completely under the covers they won't like that will somehow be better but then they show them they show like their partner them going under the covers with a girl and then it's like the craziest movements and noises you've ever heard under there and mark l walberg's trying to calm them down he's like well you don't know anything could have been happening out there you know exactly what's happening under there uh there was a year of i think like british love island where they were told they were like if you do it

like without the covers we can't show that right you know because like it's nudity yeah right and then so they were like okay fuck it took off the covers did it they played it anyway oh my god have you seen uh montoya par for war oh yeah have you seen this yeah i bought that meme coin did you actually yeah jack lawler was like we gotta buy montoya por favor and i have some solana no i've lost 500 on meme coins that's crazy oh my god temptation island is my favorite show of all time i actually don't know that for a fact it's possible that riz miss eve has had like a big pickup i haven't checked in a while yeah no can we hear your holdings yes okay solana is which is like sort of like the base that you like buy everything else with i have 34 left in that

it is tanked since i bought it uh i have 19 of yeezy coin not proud of that one but i thought this guy's such a like freak weirdo that if i can make money off of him i'll do it didn't work uh riz miss eve i've got two dollars and 79 cents uh luigi mangione coin i've got 227 227 of luigi mangione coin two dollars and 27 cents okay all right but i bought like a hundred dollars of it oh my god why are you selling them like at the i keep forget this is my problem they're all like such volatile markets like the only way to make money i think is if you're like hyper dialed on it yeah and i keep like i'll like be tired in bed I'm like, oh, okay, and I'll buy it, and then I just forget about it for like a week, and

I look, and I'm like, damn. My whole thing with the Yeezy thing, I was like, I'm going to buy it, I'm going to wake up tomorrow, I'm going to be rich, because he had just announced it, and I saw the tweet or something. Anyway. Did you get rug pulled? I don't even know. Just a MAGA guy, same logic as the other one.

What the fuck is your deal, man? I figure, I don't understand how these things work, so what if I try to make something good out of a bad thing? $1.68 on that. of maga coin just a maga guy like just a chill guy you know that guy where it's like the dog with like his hands in his body yeah but he's wearing a maga hat this one um didn't that one didn't do well chill rudolph has gone defunct that was around christmas time montoya por favor which i own 21 000 shares of that also has gone defunct

um what does that mean you have zero dollars yeah it just is a dash where the money used to be yeah I think they took the money and ran. Yeah. Well, Willie, you know what? I'm proud of you for investing responsibly, it sounds like. Yeah. I mean, I have a 401k, too, but no one wants to hear about that. This is the fun stuff.

I've got a Roth IRA. Yeah. I've got a checking account. checking account i've got uh fifty thousand dollars in credit card debt you 55 000 or is that a joke yeah what do you actually have a credit card debt mdr i got no well i have student loans i have like twenty thousand dollars in student loans debt but i'm paying it off bit by bit eighty eight dollars a month until 2036 i believe and then i'll be that's actually not that bad that could be a lot worse actually i feel like that math might not add up no no it's

not bad it could be so much worse yeah i'm super grateful my parents paid for most of my college she's really lucky but i got a little skin in the game so you know but it's good it's helping me establish a guy i have a great credit score huh did you have any other aspirations outside of college outside of the peace corps i wanted to my plan was to run for office i wanted to be uh yeah like straight out of college senator on the on the house floor i mean i'd rather be a senator but i think being in the house is way more attainable but uh did i i when i was early in college my plan was to run for state house in south carolina right after i graduated does that ever work what like could young kids do that yeah yeah yeah i think the age pretty cool if we

had a buddy that was like a senator yeah we wouldn't know i mean state like state house in south korea isn't exactly like i think you make like 10 grand a year like it's not a full-time job yeah oh um it is in some states like i remember look i looked into this because i was like well maybe i'll go back to pennsylvania where i grew up because there you make like 130k or something as a state rep but it's uh but that you know it's all i mean that's part of the problem because guess who's guess who's most likely to take a bribe a guy who makes ten thousand dollars a year i would lobby the fuck yeah it's i would be making i'd be making calls and so holding ten dollar bills in front of your head been like past this so it's just like a side gig

for them like they have a full-time job yeah they're like usually a lot of their lawyers you know business owners stuff like that that makes sense which you know makes it kind of exclusionary just by nature but or it's like yeah it'll hold i feel like the government system is kind of like messed up you guys feel that way yeah dude you know what i'm starting to think i think this whole i think it's honest i think it's like corrupt i honestly and call me crazy like call me like mr crazy woke guy i think it might be a little corrupt i don't know all i know is i cleaned the pool of a local main government guy oh he was like he was like a well in within like main government whatever he had like a 10 million dollar house and i was like how the hell

how it doesn't it never made any sense to me like how could you don't have that much power as like a main government official like where you do though people need got like you know you you decide what companies get the right to build things so they'll give you like a bunch of money state con like yeah like the contracts to like say they they're gonna fucking build new uh literally anything any state infrastructure they need to hire like private companies to do and so whoever they give those bids to it's like millions and millions and millions of dollars can you do me a favor andrew because i was thinking about this the other day when i was looking at my taxes can you google how what was the tax rate what was what was the tax rate when

we when the boston tea party happened so weren't they weren't they freaking out over like four percent or something oh i don't know it was something like really low yeah three pence per pound i don't know what that means three cents per dollar but it was not dollars so yeah like three percent of their money was being taxed i mean i don't think it was like income tax i think it was like on certain goods yeah i don't know well i think it had less to do with the fact that the tax rate was high i mean that certainly didn't that was part of it but it was that they weren't represented in the english parliament like that's all they did like taxation without representation it was like they're getting taxed but then they don't even i think paying

taxes is a good thing if you have a say in like a functioning democracy but if you're being yeah if you don't you can't even have a say in the tax rates and then you're being taxed three percent i know but like they take like half your money now and we just are like that's fine you're really on that what you're really on that on what i'm like taxes and it makes me really mad yeah that's just because i don't understand i don't understand it we got in this argument one time where i was like where are they going where are my taxes going and you were like how did you get here okay touche i mean there's definitely a ton of waste in government don't get me wrong but i taxes in and of itself aren't a bad thing if they're being allocated to the right yeah sometimes

it doesn't not to get too into this but sometimes it doesn't feel like like i i see like multiple homeless people like passed out face down on the way to work and you're like we're not it's not going to like help those guys yeah but you i mean you funded at least a few bombs at gaza right yeah there's trade-offs right i'm i bombed multiple i bombed civilians in the middle least and i never went to jail for it who am i my college town's mayor was named andrew nelson yeah really yes and i didn't realize until there were all these like political signs like andrew nelson for mayor i was like i didn't realize you're like all right i'll take it he didn't have an instagram so people would tag me in like posts being like thank you so much andrew nelson

the mayor brian for showing up to my business today thank you so much and i would comment and i would be like any time like love serving love serving this great city i literally had in my instagram bio like mayor of brian and when he won the election is the town yeah it was called brian yeah oh brian and so like when he won the like re-election the next year i posted like an acceptance like speech on my instagram being like so excited like i'm gonna get mountain dew and like all the water fountains and i'm gonna like get rid of gerrymandering and like all of this kind of stuff and i'm at work one day and i get this email from the city of bryan and it says cease and desist yeah and like big letters and i was like like my heart like dropped it's like

cease and desist impersonation of a public servant that's what it was and it was like this big long paragraph about like you're claiming to be the mayor of bryan on your instagram page you're commenting on people's posts that tag you uh you're not correcting them and they're like if you don't take down your posts and like stop commenting and stop impersonating him we will fine you like a hundred thousand dollars and send you to jail for like four years and i'm like a 21 year old in college yeah also it's like that's your name oh my god yeah but it was the fact that i was like playing you really putting in my instagram bio and so i called my friend who dropped out of law school but that was like the closest thing i could get to like a lawyer

and he was like he was like if they ever did take you to court like they would lose because of like parody law and things like that but he was like he just yeah he was like they're just like annoyed but he was like you don't want to have to go to court and like have to pay for a lawyer to like defend yourself yeah all that kind of stuff uh so he was like i would just comply but there's nothing really that they can do yeah that's very funny did you see uh president macron the other day like couldn't his like car couldn't get through a street because trump's motorcade was better come through and he's like arguing with this cop that was very funny yeah who is this the president of france president of france was like i gotta get to the he was trying to get to

the french embassy but trump's motorcade was blocking it and the guy was like sorry sir you can't come through he's like it's a me a president i'm the president of france mama mia where's my pizza and then he called he like called trump in front of the cop and was like he was like get this they're not letting me through and and uh and i don't think trump helped him if you you know speaking of taxes you know the song by geese if you want me to pay my taxes it's so fucking good dude i can't stop listening you're gonna have to nail me Lucy come on baby we want to take a quick moment to talk about a new sponsor of the pod Lucy Lucy is intelligent nicotine for adults designed by scientists to deliver the most

satisfying nicotine experience and always tobacco free whether you use nicotine to enhance focus boost your energy or relax there's a Lucy for you they offer products from hydrating breakers to pouches to lozenges to gum with individual server servings ranging from four milligrams all the way up to 12 milligrams ensuring satisfaction for even the most demanding nicotine routines i've got with me the eight milligram mint lucy breaker oh yeah i have about three or four logs of this on my desk because i am flying through it logs is that like a whole log is when there's like a bunch stacked on top it's it's kind of just it's like lucy term terminology nice a little lucy log double l our friend will and i will a nice friend dm'd us the other day a picture of her at bingo night with

her apple cider breakers that's actually that's a good point my i just made a good point fall you always make it i may switch from the mint back to the apple cider i did last fall and it's it's like walking around with a little apple cider in your mouth all day long um you can use them to focus relax energy before a workout after a workout when you're having a few beers sue me if i have a couple if i have a couple light beers yeah i'm gonna throw them i'm gonna throw in a lucy i'm a guy sue me i want to be wanted sir sue me i want to be wanted uh we have a vending machine of them in our office that um stays stocked for about four minutes at a time guys let's level up your nicotine routine with lucy go to lucy.co slash friday and use promo

code friday to get 20 off your first order lucy has a 30-day refund policy if you change your mind again that's lucy.co and use code friday to get 20 off and here comes the fine print lucy products are only for adults of legal age and every customer is age verified warning this product contains nicotine nicotine is an addictive chemical let's get back into the episode all right we have a beautiful episode for you guys today we're gonna hear your pitch followed by our pitches then we'll do am i the asshole and then we are going to do everyone's second favorite segment this guy rocks followed by teach me something and then willie and i are going to do more of the office plots that don't exist and then more drinking games that don't exist and

we'll wrap up with mailbag three at a time now about being a rhyme mailbag making a rhyme and then we will do rusty's song of the day let's get into it this girl wrote about you in her discussion post for college can we read it yeah okay well hope i got mentioned or i'm gonna get mad so this is from hannah mcbride in my city i think that rusty featherstone could be an important leader of the tourism rusty featherstone aka jack kelly oh can i say that yeah she spelled it she spelled it wrong bleep it made his rise with me made his rise to fame when he signed with almost friday and started making a tiktok series called rusty ranks in these videos rusty would pick a brand to drink 12 of them and give it a score this would be beneficial in wimberley to increase the

popularity of local wineries and breweries micro breweries and micro wineries are very attractive to tourists we could use the concept of including residents in decisions by having the winery and brewery owns owns be part of rusty's videos reaching up to two and a half million viewers uh featherstone also has a series called rusty ranks bars here's a link of rusty ranks bars called monty's in miami florida oh where's wimberly i think she made it up for her class it sounds really oh really what's her name wait look up wimberly hannah mcbride uh hannah mcbride Oh, Danny McBride. Thank you so much for that.

I think I could do a great job in your new city. It's in Texas, man. Oh, it's right near me. Oh, it's in Texas. Near Austin and San Antonio. How's Jacob? Never heard of him. How's Jacob's well?

Oh, is that the thing that, like, splunkers always get caught in? I don't know. I've never been here before. I think you should Google taint. Yeah, pull up taint. Good images. Yeah. Hmm.

Okay. I really like that. Google. No. Don't. Should we hear a pitch? Hello, my name is Carter, and this is my pitch. What's the worst part about learning fun facts?

They're never fun. uh it's always it's always uh it's always boring and it makes you it's very performative and every every person in your class that's doing it during an icebreaker um it's quickly making you not want to be friends with it you're hammered and you can't think yes sorry you're hammered and you can't think of a fun fact that's right uh some of them are straight misinformation spread online that you aren't going to fact check that's why you need this new system misinformation mrs information our new misinformation device can tell you whether or not this something is a real fact with just a click of a button misinformation will tell you whether you're really swallowing spiders

every night or not um this can also work for the new conspiracy theories that your co-workers can't stop talking about i love it i i'm worried are you sure you would love this i would like to know when i'm wrong i feel like i've gotten better no you spread i agree i spread way less you spread way less misinformation i spread way less misinformation wait i have a question can you go to twitter is there x or sorry x.com i think we have x on this computer what i'm just kidding oh can you go to the playdate pod twitter because i had a banger tweet yeah there it is didn't realize we had this account yeah you can click on that one the most recent one did you see this ah that's pretty good that's pretty damn good right mlb drake handshake emoji

implementing abs like abs i love you dude i love wait what's the probable spam i was just a guy we're so back all right what's the worst part about getting out of the shower with wet hair sad old me showed up with wet hair huh it didn't like it didn't matter um it's you can't dry it quick enough you like it never dries the way you want it to drive you have to like leave the house with it wet and it's like hard to get like the same hairstyle every day yeah this is a mold that attaches to your hair dryer with the perfect hairdo and then you put it on like a helmet and you just crank it and it blasts your hair into that perfect shape of the mold i like that and it's like it's not necessarily like in the right way but it makes the right shape

and then you can just leave yeah it's like uh can you google chitty chitty bang bang haircut machine getting that chitty chitty bang bang head they don't make them like that anymore fever dream uh where do you see this you've never seen chitty bang bang no it's about like a crazy car that this family drives around they call it chitty bang bang i'm surprised you've seen that i don't know why i've seen that 1968 it's like an old ass it was a weird like fever dream i think i watched it in school like when a teacher had covid or something um oh what's the worst part about a koozie what is the worst part about a koozie i don't know oh it hides the kind of like epic beer you're

drinking or like every time you get a new beer you have to take it off and put it on the new one right makes it not as easy to swap between them so this is a koozie for your hand so it's like a koozie but it goes around your whole hand and you use it to grab the drink and then when you're done with the drink you just get rid of the drink you keep the koozie hand on and you grab another one and put it in your hand okay so it's like a koozie that's always on your hand i love that i feel like i've always used koozies more functionally to um yeah you know what i'm thinking of i feel like we use koozies more like going to school in boston i feel like koozies were more of like a winter like if you're drinking outside at like a tailgate you wanted a koozie

because your hand would get cold as shit i thought they were just for like flare points and so you could tell people like what you believed you could have like a you could have one that like suggests like you're a part of a certain group or something oh my god the new merch i am so excited about dude can we talk about the shirt yeah it says i wish one the one says i wish this text was lower and it's like at the collar yeah i think that's great i would definitely wear it to parties in college yeah yeah it's like a fun because like it's a good way of like talking to you i think like halloween is like the best holiday for like meeting people at bars and because it's like you have that sort of right a thing to talk about what are you going to be for halloween

i mean now that i got my full harry potter costume i feel like it'd be a waste not to i also have your ravenclaw one hung up in my closet behind my gryffindor one so i want to maybe i want to do my jedi one i'm very excited about it oh yeah that's a good one problem is we are going to be gone for halloween where are we being up columbus ohio oh halloween's on a friday this year we're gonna be in columbus friday and saturday oh that's ass yeah but it's ohio state penn state one versus three yeah for now but we're not gonna be able to go do anything on halloween because i don't want to go to like a college party yeah i mean i kind of don't like halloween but i this

is the one year i was excited about it because of this jedi costume i know and it's like if it had fallen like usually when it's like a wednesday then it's like you kind of have two different weekends where there's like how the costume events i feel like but if it's on a friday it's like definitively only going to be that that's what i was thinking right everyone's going to celebrate halloween this year like the same weekend right yeah it's just going to be one weekend like last year it was like split between two weekends that's some people were like the weekend before some people were the weekend after we're not going to get that girls have like a birthday month yeah go have like a dinner every day for a month to celebrate their birthday yeah exactly i got

yeah we had a thing called liquor treat in college where you'd go to different you would lick or treat in college we don't i don't want to hear about you licking anyone's treat all right oh i wasn't i've never done that sorry i started visualizing you licking the tree is this pod episode bizarre this is the strangest hour i think this has been a good episode really yeah all right cool oh should we hear an am i the asshole now i'm picturing myself like your page i already pitched you with the the haired thing oh yeah like the guy from chitty chitty chitty chitty bang we've run through all the we've we got to get back to our original

our original line of thinking for these pictures they used to be so funny and now i just can't think of it like the the the toilet paper banister yeah it's so funny slide down in one fell swoop wipes your butt we were skylar and i were laughing like if you had it at someone's house and then you looked at it and it was like brown brown brown brown and then like the back end was just like all red oh yeah all right let's hear who's the asshole am i the asshole for signing my roommate up for furry club at my college all right hello frog toad and andrew toad andrew i am frog and my name is juno here's some context i'm a freshman in college with two roommates that i met on Instagram before moving in. My original roommate and I, let's call her Caitlin, started DMing before

we moved in and decided we would like to be roommates. I'm an athlete, so is she. We have a lot in common. Her Instagram account is very normal. We got randomly signed another roommate. I figured pretty quickly after moving in that I made a mistake by choosing Caitlin. Caitlin never leaves a room. She is in here 24-7 talking loudly with her friends on the phone, staying up super late, video games, watch anime, eat ramen. It seems like she's really struggling. I have a lot of sympathy for her but i am becoming but it's becoming increasingly difficult to live with her one day a few weeks ago when i was scrolling on tiktok i came across fully role play account on my phone um not really my thing so i was confused why it was even showing up for me the username had

a little bar above it that said someone you may know it was a face reveal where the furry person removed their mask to reveal caitlin whoa i haven't told her that i found the account yet but it has over 45 000 followers when i saw a post on yikyak about my school's furry club crazy that yikyak still exists um a wonderful idea came to me i signed caitlin up now my second roommate is upset with me saying it was wrong to sign caitlin up unknowingly but i think i'm doing her a favor i don't get along with caitlin but i think everyone deserves a chance to be accepted and happy in college i just want her to have friends am i the asshole oh here's my question and just because you signed her up doesn't mean she's gonna be like what i have to go down like

it's not yeah she's still gonna have to go on her own fruition yeah i actually i thought this was gonna be like i pranked my roommate signed him up for furry club but i mean if that's like her community then you might have actually done a nice thing because it's like a way to like let her know about the thing without letting her know that you know because maybe she kind of did it in the trying to like maybe she's embarrassed about it or trying not doesn't want you to know i'm just surprised she doesn't already know that yeah because i feel like there's like the from what i've seen the gear is pretty like where would you keep that like a college dorm oh oh oh like the heads are like yeah where did you do the face reveal well sometimes they have like smaller ones

like there was a sibling of a girl i knew that had one that was like a dinosaur looking thing and it was pretty confined to the face but it like it the mouth opened when they opened their mouth it's kind of cool interesting yeah i don't i think you did it actually the right way because she's not gonna she doesn't have to go you just you just put it out there yeah the the only negative is like is she if when she sees that she was signed up she's gonna be like well who the fuck signed me up like who knows yeah someone trying to like fuck with me so that could cause a little bit of paranoia if it's something she's like insecure about but i think there's a world in which this was kind of a nice thing to do i think you did the right thing yeah i don't think

you're the asshole kind of i might have just stayed out of it there was a furry convention in portland yeah and uh my friend's parents were said they were in town during it they didn't know when they were driving to their hotel there was like a huge paw print like projected on the side of like the marriott or the hyatt or whatever they're like that's kind of weird and then they looked out their window and there was like a chicken or something like walk like a huge furry walking down the street and they thought it was like maybe like the portland mariners mascot or something like walking to the civic center and then they said they went to a bar that night and it was like 50 furries so what i'm getting at is it seems like a pretty fun community

furry convention great place to get some tail come on dude you should have a podcast you have to do stand-up i saw a bunch of people when i was in culver city there was some screening of something called hell of a boss have you ever heard of this no i don't know if it's furries i don't i don't necessarily know if that's the exact thing but everyone was coming out of this theater and it was it looks very similar to like how furries dress and they seemed like they were having a blast my friend said in college uh he had a roommate that larped you know yeah okay live action role play which is like they do like medieval duels on campus and things like that and he said for like the first three months

he didn't know what he looked like because anytime he'd leave his room he'd be in like full chain mail and like you know a knight uh helmet on and everything like that and like just a huge sword and he'd just like walk out not say a word you know and then like walk back in every day it's kind of sick yeah you ever see the that guy at ohio state that would go to class and just like a black cloth like no one knew what his face looked like no pull this guy up pull up like i think they called him like the sheet or something look up like just like ohio state student goes to class in black sheet you'd go to class that's him in like this shroud and like nothing else and we just sit in class and apparently it was like a completely normal

student otherwise maybe it was a woman who wasn't allowed at the school yet and she was just trying to get an education or maybe it was an alien maybe it was meduso i didn't think about it yeah that's what i was saying yeah all right should we do this guy rocks yeah all right andrew pause this immediately and i mean it immediately all right so this is a kid and they're on a porch and um he's like mom or dad or something he's like getting him to take their sock off and the caption is he didn't even get to the foot that's awesome oh i love that it's like christmas music playing dude he was trying to be so nice wait that's awesome he like tried to go back for a second too and he just couldn't do it

imagine your shin stinking yeah i mean there there seemed to be some like disfiguration on the shin like i think he must have some sort of look at like when he takes his sock off there's a bunch of like dimples and stuff you see what i mean yeah that thing probably reeks you know bad you had like an infection or something oh my god yeah he tried to go back and finish the job i'm like couldn't do it i like how this is 1000 likes oh one two three four actually that's gonna oh lord what it's fallon dude he always hits you got shauna and shauna And Sean and Shane, you got John and John and Jim and Dave. You got Brian, Brian, Brian, Ben.

You got Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Aaron, Glenn. You got this guy, he's the Mr. Cleanest. And this guy helps with diabetes. And this guy has the best goatees. And this guy, his name's Kevin. You got this guy, he's the very oldest. But this guy, he could be a Jonas. And this guy buzzed from Home Alone-est.

And this guy, also Kevin. Nick Todd, Zach Caldwell, forget Raheem, though. Final two, you know, it's Liam and D'Amico. 32 gentlemen now you know them well That's every coach in the NFL That's comedy That's what doesn't get taken off the air Cause that's real joke writing

So okay so I watch this video Right and I say oh my god That's the what the fuck even is that Who's that for what is this What am I watching I go to the comments All the comments were like Jimmy Fallon

Yeah Jimmy Fallon is so much better Than Jimmy Kimmel uh no like go down but like all there were also like oh my god jimmy always hits he's so funny okay i guess now that maybe a few memes ones came in lmo lmao why am i obsessed with this fallon hits every time peak fallon energy uh like jimmy kimmel doesn't have this kind of talent whatever the jimmy kimmel but the point being who the fuck likes that i don't know that was interesting i guess you could say the same thing about like us i think they could probably take certain no we're no we're we're renaissance we're we're artists we're creatives we push

boundaries we we we guide culture i mean that yeah that was nuts we're renegades we're badasses we're we're leaders we're thought leaders we're we're we're intellectuals we're comedians we're artists we're talent we are we are are beautiful important and and cornerstones of of of comedy culture and that all right call him out call him out i'm calling out jimmy camel or fallon call him out i'm falling jimmy callum callum anyway that video made me really sad so i wanted to make i wanted to make you guys watch it that felt like the costco guys kind of like rap yeah i was just like i was just like that guy is like he's really funny a really funny or like was or like i think at some point you have to start brain got like shaved down over the years cancel

culture has someone had to say it come on and i just couldn't believe that like when i opened the comments everything was like positive i was like maybe i'm just stupid then i think i think you could make the argument that like our brains have been tainted where now we think yeah like i went to i went to uh i went to a comedy show the other day brain and i texted willie and i was like i don't know if it's just because we're like around really funny people all day so you're like your bar goes up a little bit but there were people like like about to shit their pants laughing at this comedy show i was at and it just was not was not doing it for me granted was pretty drunk so i think it's hard to like get break through that but it was like even the guy i

went with after we were both like i was like i'm not crazy that wasn't very funny right and he was like no not at all but who knows i think the beautiful thing about you know what we do what you guys do is like you know it's kind of like this like mirror you're kind of like holding it up right the audience we hold that fucking mirror up society we say look take a hard fucking look to yourself because this is it man this is what we were put on this fucking earth to do hold that mirror up to society give them a haircut say spin them around in the chair say take a look at the back of your neck do you like that they go no thank you you go get the fuck out of my chair that's what i do i turn people on man i turn people on the point of comedy is to push

the boundaries right to turn people on willie say something say something controversial um say something say something that fallon would never no i was just thinking something like insane like i just said something fucking insane right there see see see fallon would never fucking think about what if i just said something fucking like nuts dude fallon would never talk about thinking about saying something fucking god oh what the hell why is it so fucking pale up here see fallon ain't fallon ain't showing upper t show yo show rock your bobby all right why do we have a platform i don't know i don't fucking know you don't think i ask myself that every morning i think we should be de-platformed i know i think we should be

de-platformed i would like to become like a martyr of like censorship because then we don't have to do anything and we're like everyone loves us yeah but then they'd go back and look at what we said that would be epic they could then we get more views should we do teach me something we shall come on baby all right have you guys ever heard of the 1931 china flood yeah little cf come on come come on it is the deadliest natural disaster in history and i'd never even heard of it isn't that crazy guess how many people died 150 million oh four million people i was closest with that going over uh wait what'd you say i said i was closest with that would you say 151 yeah uh over 50 million people were affected i don't know what that means uh

and make it 50 million and three now it destroyed it destroyed like entire towns and villages we just never heard of it like cray probably because of probably because of probably because of the fcc they were saying they were saying because probably because kim will had to talk but kim will talked about it and then they canceled his ass then they canceled his ass when willie hops on the mic there's there's a there's a flood that that kills all sorts of people because of all the women that get excited oh yes when i hop on the mic because of like i'm getting wet anyway all I think I should be deplatformed. What's the wettest you've ever made someone?

Seriously, take our platform. Make us like martyrs. That's like something when you're like a freshman in high school and everyone's lying about having sex. That's like a question someone would ask you at a lunch table. Like, dude, how? Oh, yeah, you've had sex? What's the wettest you've ever made someone?

What's the wettest you've ever made yourself? Remember when, didn't Ben Shapiro say that women can't get wet? google google ben shapiro like women can't get wet so this is from ben shapiro as i also discussed on the show my only real concern is that the is that the women involved who apparently require a bucket and a mop get the medical care they required my i think this is in reference to when wop came out it would uh my doctor's wife differential diagnosis bacterial vaginosis yeast infection or some other thing that would be the funniest thing of all time is if how old is he like 50 or 50 no didn't ben shapiro he's probably 35 oh okay 30 40 maybe maybe he'd think what if

he was 44 yes he'd take warm and don't get wet they don't 41 okay um jeans okay this might teach me something okay when you think jeans were invented 18 no 1801 1802 1871 way later than i thought and guess who invented them uh mr gene mr levi yeah levi strauss yeah wow i didn't know like i thought jeans were around like for way longer for some reason i can say i can't picture george washington jeans but like i thought he would have yeah after like a nice like long day yeah like the the the stockings and everything were just for show and then when they got home they put on a pair of like 501s yeah google first google oldest jeans ever apparently they will find them in like old mines and pull them out they were for mining is what they were created for

god if those things could talk crazy that there's been like no real advancement in the gene technology i feel like i could wear these tomorrow and nobody say they nailed them first try yeah do you ever have the ones that that like it's a button fly and you can like rip them down all at once yeah yeah i think that's what this one's awesome for like um for like ladies taking them off and stuff i yeah i've never had a lady touch my legs the i got a pair of um corduroys when i was a kid and the inside the damn right thank you love you manly uh the inside of the fly said lucky you and i was like these are like a these are like a children's large yeah like because i think that's like a blowjob joke right or like a sex thing like someone would be taking

off your because it's it was it was like positioned so that the only way you could read it as if you were like at eye level with with someone's fly yeah and i was like am i supposed to be getting am i supposed to be having this happen to me because i'm right now i'm the only one reading it who here is supposed to be you want to give me dome huh what's what's the next segment what's the craziest dome you've ever got no all right let's do our drafts i'm sorry that's game starts in four minutes i'm sorry four minutes okay it's fine i'm fucking sorry all right you got you want to do drinking games that don't exist yeah the office these are the office plots that don't exist an ordering mistake requires the scranton branch to store excess boxes of paper

in their main office and as it is being loaded in michael tells the warehouse workers to build a wall around toby's desk toby objects and threatens to go to corporate and the rest of the office defends him so michael concedes and instead puts all the paper in front of the vending and coffee machines everyone else then tries to deal with it but eventually becomes more upset demanding that the boxes go back to toby's desk so michael gets his way building a complete fortress around toby at the end of the episode toby reveals he actually kind of likes it because he can read his novels there in peace i love it jim accidentally knocks the bowl of m&ms off of kevin's desk and kevin is able to count how many m&ms are on the floor like without looking at it and so jim thinks that

he may be like a savant and so he starts doing experiments so he drops like paper clips in front of him can't do it they go to the vending machine he can immediately tell him how many bags of chips are in there without counting so they go to the fridge he can tell him exactly how many ounces of soda are in the fridge and jim realizes that he is like a math savant but only when it's related to sweets that's awesome thank you uh creed discovers that squirrels have built a nest in the back of meredith's van and and is excited about what he describes as a new source of protein around the office dwight then also discovers the squirrels and realizes that meredith needs a wake up call about her quality of life so dwight begins leaving acorns in the van so the squirrel problem

gets even worse creed just keeps eating the squirrels for lunch however so the number of squirrels remains remarkably consistent finally dwight gives up and creed eats all the remaining squirrels meredith storms into the office upset that her pets have been stolen creed just pukes in his desk closes it and says nothing i love it was morty there and morty morty was there and he was drunk barstool barstool pompeii someone was like someone was like mad that i i thought i went along with that they were like rusty cut rusty cut will off during his during his awesome bar stool how fucking dare you pompeii section how dare you and then no i felt like willie was getting to a point where he was like cut me off cut me off cut me yeah well yeah i think that's also the

big cat um michael sees a commercial for scientology on tv and is interested in joining the rest of the office explains to him that it's a cult and why cults are bad but all michael takes away from it is how awesome it would be to be a cult leader so he tries to start a cult in the office uh the only people to join are dwight andy and kevin toby then tries to shut it down uh but he can't find anywhere in like the office toby tries to shut it down but when michael challenges him on it toby can't find anywhere in the employee handbook that says you can't start a cult so he just has to let michael do it david wallace tells michael he will be missing a few days for a routine surgery which sends michael into a tailspin he drives to new york finds a hospital which he

assumes is the only hospital in new york and when the staff mishears him he is brought to the hospital room of a man named davis walnut who is wearing a mask so he can't tell it's not david wallace uh unaware of his mistake michael pledges to hold his hand until he wakes up after waiting hours and sleeping in the hospital michael gets skeptical and finally peels off the mask to reveal it's the wrong guy annoyed he storms out of the room inadvertently pulling the plug on davis walnut's ventilator on the way out alarms in the room start going crazy as michael walks out of the house um the it guy comes in to talk to the office about avoiding naughty websites after someone got a virus on the company server dwight holds interrogations to figure out who the pervert

is uh that was watching naughty videos at work but realizes it was actually himself when he was trying to buy illegal seeds for his farm on the dark web and shuts down the rest of the investigation that's awesome thank you i think those are viral yeah actually drinking games these are drinking games that don't exist oh have you ever played liquid chess shot glasses shaped as different chess pieces are filled with increasingly strong liquors as the piece value gets higher so pawns are like beer the queen is like ever clear then you play regular chess but every time one of your pieces is captured you have to take that shot that's awesome thank you uh kill the lights everyone sits around a table blindfolded and the referee gives each person one of eight different

light beers if you correctly identify the light beer you're safe and you pour some of your can into the cup in the middle the last person left who hasn't correctly identified one of their beers loses and has to drink the cup in the middle i like that you kill the lights pretty fun that's fantastic because it's blindfolded and they're yeah i'll explain i'll explain it later i didn't i didn't think about the blindfolded part yeah beardle ship ping pong table divider in the middle so players can't see on the other side it's set up in a grid you have to set up six beers uh as on different squares and then you take turns guessing like in battleship if you guess correctly the other person has to drop a thing of sake in their beer and finish it and then the player

who eliminates the other person's beers first wins that's sick i actually want to play that yeah also i was thinking like just throwing a ball but that makes more sense oh that would be fun too yeah except it'd be like hard to aim like even if you knew where it was you like hear it clang off something yeah yeah we try to put it yeah uh clash of cans two people throw beer cans at full speed at each other if the beers make contact you have to pick up yours and drink it before the other person first one to finish their drink wins that sounds fucking hectic yeah it's chaos um there's no real reward for winning yeah oh keith bourbon so you sit in a circle with your friends and you have a bottle of bourbon in the middle you go around naming keith urban songs and

then every time someone can't think of one they have to take a shot and you play until the bottle's i think i would immediately have to take a shot do you know a single keith urban song uh i'll think of is think of you one think of you i'll think of you you'll think of me fuck all right i would have i would have been both be blacked out uh caught sipping one person is blindfolded and the other person has to finish a beer in under five minutes the catch is the person blindfolded can say sipping three times throughout the five minutes if at any point they correctly say sipping while the other person is sipping then they win oh that's so you have to try to drink the whole beer but without them noticing that you're drinking i love that it's

like fish out of water yeah sure i like that that is yeah uh bud light green light similar to the playground game red light green light yeah players start at the starting line with a full bud light you then play red light green light but you can't cross the finish line until you've finished your beer oh and you can only do it like when it's a green light that's really good wouldn't that be fun yeah i like that but like green light is good you got the pass i'm serious high toss it's a competition to see who can throw a beer highest in the air without it popping or cracking when it hits the ground okay i like that winner take all do you plan like a parking lot or is it like lawn parking lot yeah uh the quest for the holy ale

players bring an ale of their choice to a screening of monty python and the holy grail and every time they say grail you have to take a sip that's good i think it's like 40 times you look that up yeah that is yeah i was gonna say that probably yeah uh strange woman lolling in ponds distributing swords there's no basis for system of government pretty good right hide and go drink it's hide and go seek but every time the seeker finds someone they yell drink and everyone else who's still hiding has to drink so the last person that is found will be the drunkest we used to play jack's game at ron's and it was like not a real was your game it was my guy made it up but it didn't have any rules it was just like you'd only play with guys

who like had never been over oh yeah before me and my friend porter played it one time and you like lull them into a sense of like the rules are fair by like you you taking the first handful of be like oh fuck yeah and then like the last 20 it involved like dice and quarters and so like they couldn't totally figure out like what it meant and it was fun we should play it uh should we do mailbag three at a time all right my song today is the master plan by oasis i've been i've been digging it lately so go go check it out uh guys thank you so much for listening we love you comment can i request one comment comment andrew nelson comment andrew spam andrew nelson w all right we love you guys have a great rest of your monday have a great tuesday

and we'll see you bright and early for our wednesday record